Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Patient Zero Patience
Episode Date: July 18, 2018Below Deck Med gets the Onion Man back on board, but will Jamie live long enough to hear the pain? It's also the beginning of Captain Sandy losing her patience, which will lead to a tsunami o...f hugs like we've never seen. This week's bonus is our annual shopping trip on Amazon Prime. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Trixie Monocle tees at crappensmerch.com avail through July! **Crappens Live is coming to Philadelphia, Montreal, Palm Beach and Atlanta! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Here we are it's Wednesday it's um day. It's time to
Time to hop on that yacht and talk like below deck med turn into a dirge
founder
founder
I can never remember how it goes after that part
Okay, so here we are. We opened where we left off last week where they're having
the dock party for Hannah's birthday for 30th birthday. And there's a big gay pride cake
balloon for whatever reason. Why not? Why not? Why not? We got to get some gaze on this
show, I guess. Yeah. And so Brooke and Joao, wow, are talking now.
Joao has been, Joao has been flirting with Casey this whole time until Casey
affundantly realals what I won't. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Making Casey and us think that is Casey, but then he goes over to Brooke who's like almost at her drunk place where she's falling off car seats
Yeah, yeah, she's almost there
But she's like it's like she's seeing like slumberland arrive like little peaceful birds are about to come take her away
But she's like I just say a few things first
Forza wa
Wow
We have blatant chemistry.
Just please help me out here, Taw, please.
Just tell me what you really say.
I don't care about anything else.
Help me, Taw. Help me.
Ah!
So of course, so, you know, of course we saw this last week.
They kiss.
They're accustomed to calling, poor sad calling. course we saw this last week. They kiss, they're gonna cost him a colon, poor sad colon.
Yeah, poor sad colon face.
He's like, oh yeah.
Yeah, and then it's like the guy co,
he's like the guy co lizard,
just the guy co-gecko, just going,
oh, and Jamie's like gross.
Yeah.
And Adam goes, there he is,
definitely kissing.
Can I get some best quick for Jamie she's grossed out? Okay guys
He's like he has been pining for me all night pretending I'm have princess
I feel like an idiot for having the slightest bit of faith in him. I was like where was he pining for you?
Well, he said well, he told her he was gonna take her to Zimbabwe
Like well, you got to get a one-way ticket to Zimbabwe. That's what she got to do.
He literally said that to her.
As what happened to Princesses.
That always happens to Princesses.
You mean to Prince?
And they're like, yeah, I'm taking it as a bullboy.
Well, she's like, I feel like I have, I feel like an idiot
for having this slightest bit of faith in him.
I'm like, you should feel like an idiot that
it took you this long to feel like an idiot.
Like it should have in one day.
And then to make matters worse, Jamie and Casey have
to clean up while they're like making out.
They're just like holding hands.
Yeah.
And they have to carry all the boxes back.
And Brooke does not even make any kind of effort to get
up and help, which is, no, neither one of them do.
I'm seeing.
Yeah.
Brooke is just just sitting there being like like how much do I love me?
Let's back home the ways and then fireworks go off
They all go back to the bed or go back. They all good
They all go fuck I know they all go back to the bed or go back. They all go back to the yacht and Conrad is climbing in bed with Hannah and they're kissing
and he's like, brush it.
Did you brush your teeth?
Please, please brush your teeth.
Go brush your teeth.
No, brush your teeth, please.
The real, the real root of the anxiety attack for later.
Okay.
Oh, listen, honey.
Honey, I can't brush my teeth.
They have to live in a clock.
I just came to you do anxiety for me.
Too much anxiety.
What's the anxiety asking me to brush my teeth?
I know that we've gone too far in this relationship.
I feel in love with floorsing,
and now I can't floor any more.
Colin, meanwhile, they show him
he's just like cleaning a bottle of white wine.
For some reason, he's just like wiping down
a bottle of white wine.
He's like, this is all that life has left for me.
Every clip we get of calling in this episode is gold.
I mean, there's so many good ones with him.
Just random things.
So then we cut to Joao on deck with Brooke.
We're just waiting for him on that little couch thing
and he's like, look who brought a duv.
Like, please do not fuck rap under the night cameras
on the boat, please.
Oh my god.
The right to bat.
Yeah, this is the man that she fell in love with.
The guy with spiky highlights, who was like excited about duvets.
So then Casey and Jamie are talking about how he's such a pig, you know, and then we
get another shot of Colin and he's sitting on his bed Putting his watch. She takes out his watch and puts it back in the little circular thing that the watch is displayed on
You know what I mean a watch holder. I don't know what you watch stand and then he opens a big box
It looks like a big cigar box and it's a watch box. He's got like a ton of I mean this guy is
This is the real crazy person. We should be on. He's got three drawers full of shoes.
And now he's got this big box full of all these watches that he wraps back every time he uses them.
He's like going in like, he's going in reverse motion.
He's like, he's next thing we just see him like rise out of the ocean as like a splash,
like slides into the water.
You're like, wait a second.
How is he going in reverse?
Everyone else is going forward.
He's just taking trophies and as someone who just watched minehunters all about serial killers on Netflix. I'm like, oh my god
Those are trophies. They're probably watches. He took off of people or like shoes that he took from dead people
Or so it's like too many collectibles calling you're freaking me out, dude
And as someone who just watched love Simon
He's probably trying to believe
little Memento's to find his true love in high school. His true gay love in high school.
He's like, let me find some Oreos with Halloween flavor in the inside. So you'll get it,
Ronnie. So then we also see Hannah and Conrad and Ben and Hannah's like, you know, you're
the guy. You need to be the big spin on the little spin.
That's why this relationship is fucked up
on the wrong spin and I'm in service.
I know these things.
Who are you, Casey?
Wrong spin.
Casey's like,
I'm sick of these,
burn chamed from a distance.
You know, I feel like we should stop saying
big spin with the little spin
because when two spoons are together,
they are usually the same size. They just nest. They just nest
Honestly spoon equality you don't put two different spoons together
You put two spoons at the same side. They just hold into each other and honestly I hate to break everyone's
You know idea of what spoons can do etc. But like
Forks can kind of do the same thing.
Not fence.
Let's fork.
How dare you.
I just feel like forks are getting underrepresented
in the cuddle sciences.
Yeah, they really are.
I know what, well, people do fork.
So that's good.
They do fork.
You want a fool?
Yeah, I'll tell you one thing they can't do.
They can't knife, which is why a Lannis is so upset.
You want a tongue? That baby.
So you want a Southern cup?
So Brick and Jow are
spading under the duvoo.
A full shed. Before we hooked up, it was such a year and a year and my head.
Makes no sense. Yeah, that's making sense. And because but once I come meet, I come meet. So watch it. This is where I show you the picture of me on my bed shirtless with a snake.
Get ready.
Then Brooke, Brooke is revealing ourselves to be closer to Britney than we ever realized. She's like,
is revealing ourselves to be closer to Britney than we ever realized. She's like, I do tend to be drawn towards people who apply as a womanizer, but I guess I just want to be the one to change them.
I think that better person. Well, at least she didn't require therapy for that one. Usually,
that's a huge milestone to learn about your, you know, when you get to that point of learning
about yourself. I think I've just tried to fix somebody. I mean, this is a girl who's like taking flipping
houses to the human level. Like she's doing it on purpose. Like I'm just going to find a, you know,
a busted ass place and try and make it nicer. I don't know, flip it. Because when you make them
better, guess what? They leave you and they go into better girlfriend. Uh, but the fallacy, the fallacy in that is that they never get better and you can never
fix them.
They just break you down like them and then you feel like they're fixed because you're
just broken like they are on the same level.
And then they're making out and she goes, it's a terrible idea.
It goes, it goes, it could very well be and she goes, but how, but how, how would
this rage have beauty hold the plea? Whose action is no stronger than a flower? And then they
make it, make it, make it, make it. So then the next morning is like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do watching Jamie get sicker and sicker and sicker and I was just like Really unpleasant. Yeah, the story telling in the show is hilarious. They're like, okay, we're gonna interrupt the
Technic music to see you realize she's coughing right? Yeah, she's like and then and then Conrad's like clean the pass
Arale clean the pass rail. I was like shocked that's where I was like the pass Arale
It has to be broad. He got to put it out. Keep it in so people don't fall off and die like they do in Zimbabwe
Stop talking to me when my mom's in a year and a year and a half
Yeah, then yeah, and
so Collins like
Collins like talking to Joe out. It's like so you were smudging with Brooke last night. Was she into it?
You know
Was he in tune? I mean that is that is actually like a good question to ask this asshole.
Like, you see even into it or were you making a hole?
Make a hole.
Past out.
Money.
Yeah.
And so I was like, I really liked the fake that I'm not judged by here at all because the
truth is even the slightest amount of judgment would go terribly against me.
Yeah.
And he says the truth is we're very similar.
What?
How are you very similar?
Not really seeing this but Collins says we're best friends, but it's not the first time my friend is stolen my girl
One time in which we'll party in college with a friend and guess with a girl and guess what my friend went home with her
I'll never forgive brain you smurf for that
And then they show a picture of Colin and Colin sitting at the piano like with his fingers
on his temple just looking sad.
He's wearing a bracelet.
That's a friend that stole my girl, guys.
Jake!
Oh poor Colin.
So now it's preffin, we're at this time for the preffered sheet meeting and guess who who's coming back
It's Kenny and Amber n'avani Kenny who famously hates onions and
Embrouled us in a five week long no onions scandal
last season and captain even makes their name my sir. She's like okay. Guess who's coming back?
The Navante's yeah, she. She did upgrade them a little bit.
Navantees.
And this time they're bringing Desmond Mason. I was like, oh, he was on my fantasy basketball team. I got very excited.
Mm-hmm.
And Adam's like, I will not have any onions on this boat. Not one single onion.
And then they show the clip of the trouble he got in last year when they asked him for no onions
and he got so mad that he put onions in soup in spice and then admitted it
So he goes to the kitchen and he just throw that all the audience even the garlic and just tossing in the bin
But you know there's gonna be like a moment next episode
We open the fridge and like two scallions pop up be like you forgot about us
I want you you want to use us, don't you?
We're just scallions not Not even real onions, basically.
Use us.
Oh, look, here's our friend, Mr. Chad.
Come on, let's get involved.
I was waiting for that moment where you see him
speaking a couple of onions into his pocket.
Like, I'll get up to you.
This like in this business, you don't get second chances.
Like, I think this boat is crashed before. I think literally everyone on here has had a second chance. So I don't get second chances. Like, I think this boat is crashed before.
I think literally everyone on here has had a second chance.
So, I think it's like, I think it's like, in this business,
you don't get, you don't just get second chances.
You get like third and fourth and fifth and sixth chances.
Yeah.
So then you've literally got a second chance
after the on-in gate last season, by the way.
Let's just remember that.
Yeah, this is not your second chance.
But, you know, Adam's not known for counting.
So Jamie and Jouah are in the crew mess, and she's like, so.
And I like Jamie's, I really do like Jamie.
I like Jamie.
Because did you notice she was doing the Jouah where she was laying in the spot that he's
always laying in that booth?
You know, he's always laying in that same fucking spot.
She totally took his spot and then started grilling him,
which was cool.
Yeah, I put her like germs on it too,
so we couldn't go back there.
But she basically was fucking with,
wow, she's like, I'm gonna do to you,
what you do to everyone else.
Cause Casey is like, you know, 10 feet away
cleaning something in the laundry room
and like she's moving stuff around right there.
So Jamie's like, so,
Joao, how is
everything with the brook? How is everything going? Brooke? How do
you think Casey feels about it? What do you think? And Jirao is
just like, mm-hmm, it's good. Like it's like not like the first
time ever he doesn't have like a giant rickus on his face, just
like straight face like, it was good. I like it. I think that's
the Casey with this evil face. She's like, what's he's doing
laundry? Like loudly knocking at me like, ah, what's he's doing laundry?
Like loudly knocking every like sweeping.
She's also like sweeping me like,
clon clon clon clon clon clon clon clon clon clon.
You know, and he's like,
I guess I have to just be a little less flirty, I guess.
I know what I want now, so I'll be less flirty.
She's like, clon clon clon clon.
And then she's like mopping right in front of him.
And he's's he has to
Jamie keeps making him answer awkward it was great yeah put it put him in the
out put him in the hot seat for once and then we got a commercial and we come
back it's a different time like I guess they're getting ready to go out for
their their day or whatever and they're both in the crew mess again and Jamie's
like what are you doing?
And he goes, I'm looking at that, but we're gonna go on.
It's gonna be so much fun, isn't it?
And then she just rolls his eyes at him and walks away.
And the music, the music was like,
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
And then she rolls, I think it goes dun dun dun dun dun.
Cool.
Cool.
Great crowd, I.
Yeah.
Great crowd.
So everyone starts hopping on this catamaran.
And Jamie's like coughing and coughing and coughing and feels like shit and
and
And then me and they get on the catamaran and Hannah sits down next to brookens just like so what's going on with J. Wow
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow looks like would you please say his name popular? He's a titled man
We've got uncle's dress that let him out of the pressure if you respected the owls in the name.
I didn't even understand what you said but I believe that's exactly what she said.
You're hurting me ow ow which is how many owls there in Towson?
Here's a parcel of land and northern London. He's gonna take me there, I can start a house and take me to the theatre.
That's awesome scones afterwards.
We're gonna have lovely laughter, please use his proper name.
Cause it would be my name, team.
Adam's in full on Adam mode, he's like,
Sun's out guns out, babes.
We can brisk you, too, my briskies.
Yeah.
And then something happens, like the cadmere ends pulling away, I guess it's close to a fender on the boat, so all the deck hands just
it's actually like run up and go like, fix something and then
Joua was like,
Deky mode kicks in, ho ho ho ho!
Deky mode! Deky mode sounds like Deky mode, which is the same thing as what I'm gonna do with Brooke later tonight.
Oh, simple boy.
Hey Brooke, wanna wreck my deck?
Yeah.
So Brooke's like,
it would knock me happy if you took me to a glass of honey
because I lost him.
And then they show a clip of him like,
I don't need some cork juggling thunder.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Oh.
And then she's like, listen here.
It's been two times with me, honey. the third time it's when I cut your throat you got it
And Brooks like I don't care at all what anyone thinks of your not supportive of me then you don't deserve a place in my life
And I'm like you know she has a cute little british, but she's basically Brittany, and she's basically every broken woman
who likes these sort of guys,
which is like, okay, I'm gonna go try to fix an asshole,
and everyone who warns me against it,
they don't support me and fuck them,
so you cut out all your friends,
and you put an asshole about people
who are good for you.
Yeah, could I love her?
I know, she's supposed to love her.
I know that British accent does really go
for and then Hannah's like, well, that's fine. But if you're with him, just say the
fuck away from me, all right. And then so Colin, thank God breaks the mold of the
reality show on about the king of the world. He just stands on the front and he's
like, I'm flying. I see gold just shits on him. he's like, I'm flying!
I see gold just shits on him.
He's like, well, I guess I deserve that.
Colin's like, I couldn't be happier.
And they just like, cut to this shot of,
is wow lying on the catamaran like a beach flounder.
Just like, yeah, I'm sure you could not be any happier
to be standing above that.
And then you gotta have Jamie some credit because she's's now she's like really hacking up a lung.
It sounds bad. It's like that raspy cough. She's like dying, but she looks so friddy and she's
out with everybody. So she starts flirting with the hot captain of this boat. She's like,
how long have you been a captain? He's like, yes!
Do you happen to have some Nislies chocolate milk going here?
I'm never gonna win.
I think Captain turns around and lies like, would you allow some chocolate milk and she's gone?
Oh, it could have been love.
So then we see the shot of the yacht where Sandy's alone and she's just walking around the dock and she's like, God, that's great to be me.
And that's it.
And then we just go back to the cat him around.
It's like something happened.
She just like, it was like someone had just offered her a grilled friends, you know, with
a side of broccoli.
It's great to be me sometimes.
Gosh, morning, I've got some time alone, a cup full of hugs.
This is great.
I got an empty banana.
I could ride later.
Oh, God, I love that banana. I can take a cup full of hugs. This is great. I got an empty banana. I could ride later. Oh, God, I love that banana.
I can take a nap.
Huh.
So Hannah's wasted already on the boat
and she goes up to Adam and she's like,
Hey, Adam, I think I like him, Adam.
I think I really, really like him.
And he's like, she's gonna break his dick off.
That's it, that's it.
Probably will.
I think he's actually probably right about that.
So um, it's then Broke is now a Juaou just again, Cooing be like, I always knew you were
more similar to me than anyone else.
For instance, I have a tablet tattoo on my left breast too.
I want blonde sparking highlights.
Oh, so silly, Broke. I want glones back and highlights.
Oh, so silly, Brooke.
I like her.
And then Brooke and call.
Okay, so then we have this really weird, this really oddly staged scene where Colin and
Brooke are talking now on one side and the Jouwau is talking to Casey right in front of
them.
Okay.
So Colin and Brooke, she's like,
Oh, you having a good day?
Oh, I see a little hot.
It's coming out of poppy seeds.
And cloud of shit like,
oh, and he's like,
God, I like her, but I gotta let it go.
My friends basically taking her from the dance right now.
God, I wish I had my watch box.
Somewhere Bobby is watching this bill but what is he doing?
Being respectful of her choice, what?
And then, and meanwhile,
Joao was co-zing up to Casey, as you said.
He literally plops right next to him.
He's like, hello there.
She's lying in her bikini right there on the thing.
And he goes, he goes,
he goes, to be my goose.
He goes, to be a goose.
Says that.
Well, it's a top-gun reference, I think.
So Casey's like, what I like is that Casey finally
has had a point of being like, hmm, whatever he says
doesn't mean anything to me anymore
because he's full of bullshit.
I'm like, thank you.
It's only taken half a season for this.
And even though we still love Brooke, you know,
and I don't ever want to come down on Brooke,
it was really funny when Casey's like, it really good to show up my goods in a two
piece while Grandma Brooke goes over there and her one piece.
They just show Brooke in this green floral one piece that was just like missing the
swim cap with the flowers on it.
And I wasn't so much that Brooke doesn't look as pretty or as hot as Casey, but it was
more like, I do love the fact that J'Waou is like,
basically looking at Casey's body and is like, and now we can't have it.
I love that.
Right in front of Brooke. He's just such an ass, you know, and the table girls do have a thing
where they like get mad at each other about one piece or two pieces.
Don't you remember Big Brother a few years ago when Rachel sister was on there?
And she think, Oh my God. Yeah you're on a fun piece. Yeah. And then that girl like hated her for the
rest of the year for it. I know and I think one pieces are so pretty too. I mean, I'm a gay man,
but I think one pieces look great. I wear a t-shirt into the pool. So, okay, I'm not gonna do this.
So Casey's like, yeah, Casey says that and then I wrote brick, brick watches from afar two feet away on the
stool.
Yeah.
Something go to a picnic and I was like two years ago if you told me what I would be where
I'm at, I wouldn't believe you.
I've marched my way right off that deck and later.
Yeah.
And so they get to this like restaurant that's like over there on the Malphite coast and
they're like at this restaurant and they're on it. It's like a balcony restaurant that's like over there on the Malphite coast and they're like at this restaurant
And they're on it. It's like a balcony and it's like overlooking the water and it's like all right
Can we can we jump off this balcony and the way to like is a not possible
Which reminds me which is funny. It was like such a stereotypically Italian accent and a reminder me that there's this clip
I've been meaning to play for weeks. I just keep forgetting and
I'm just gonna play it right now. This is the official voice of Mario.
Nintendo. This is the guy who does the Mario voice. Are you ready to hear this?
Yes, so yeah, give it to me.
Hello, superman! Hello, superman! It's Amiri, Mario!
Woohoo! Mamma mia! I'm here with the princess. She says you guys are number one.
See you in my games.
Is that not the coolest thing?
It is so great.
We love us some Mario.
Oh my God.
That is so awesome.
And thank you to the person who arranged that for us.
That was that's like,
Mario spoke to us.
We were in Mario court right now, basically.
Yeah, Mario Lovac.
We're not the first people to get cameoed by Mario, okay?
It's amazing.
Oh, anyway, just have to play it.
Yeah, I was right.
So then the guy's like, you can't jump off the side
that you're dying to water with your cello.
Hee hee.
And the music's like, No! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding And it's like and broke his like I can't do that you can't Such a rapper he did it
And then Colin does the back flip off too, which he did I think what the hell is with all these
Backflap back flipping off the thing like you guys are all idiots. It's shallow water. We don't want
Did it? Did it? Did it bump home?
I'm calling the conrad is it do I say conrad? Oh, he's a Colin. Yeah, want to do that. And bump home. I don't want the conrad. Is it do I say conrad?
Oh, he's in.
Cullen.
Yeah, I always do that wrong.
Sorry, guys.
How about we have less names with code to be called in like flipper
and like a safety like a like a like a like preserver and like he's got like a mask and
like a snorkel.
He's like, I'm ready to jump on.
No, Conrad did it.
And then Hannah's like, I was ready to lay you down right there.
It was hard. Yeah, they're dumb. I mean, you got, they're dumb. Dumb people doing that. What are
you doing that? Like, of course, you're well, I was going to do it. Well, it was in Vauboy.
You're not allowed to do back flips into Shala. What? Yeah, I'm a rabble because that's what you
have to do to get a hit in the Vauboy. So I'm going to jump off Shala. What an oh, Birkmanik.
I'm a rabble because that's what you have to do to get ahead and the ball boys. So I'm going to jump off shallow.
What do I know for a clinic?
What did it?
Medical statement.
Then they hack up this cliff and for it's like you want to look at the cliff.
Jamie, you're about to die.
She's like, oh Jesus.
She's packing her lungs out of this poor cliff.
Oh God, this poor girl.
Yeah.
So then to our broker making out somewhere and then Hannah goes over to Colin and she's like,
hey, Colin, what do you think of this situation?
And he's like, oh, I'm not gonna lie, it's hard, but they're into each other.
They just go together, you know, like my watch goes with the thing that it came on in that box.
It's perfectly in there.
Do you have a watch?
You know, I am like a, I am like a time X.
I do take a, take lick it and keep on ticking. Ticketing, crying. That's
what they say about me. Good old crying, ticketing,
uh, Colin. That's why I am. I don't want to make out with
somebody else's watch. I've already come down with a case
of the courts. Hey, he's in a mind of my mom comes and visits
us here. Is that be cool with anyone?
Anyone?
And Hannah's like, oh, wish you feel for you.
He sits in a nice game.
So then Alan finds a fig tree.
And he's like, yeah, a fig tree.
I'm going to sit back to the skinny.
I'm going to sit back to the skinny.
There's never been a child against my life.
I wanted to redeem myself more than with Kenny.
Yeah, and then you know Hannah and Conrad are talking sweet and nothing's you having dream about me honey
Honey dream about me honey. He's like well, I was
And then the owner and that's why yeah, and then
Jawah and Brooke are like paddle boarding down in the water and
Casey's talking about how he just is like always flirting with her when Brooke is in a round
and basically what a scumbag he is.
At this point, Hannah's just like drunk.
And she's like, well, you know, it's, it's, it's a drunk, dishbag move.
Like from a dishbag.
Maybe it's a dishbag.
You know what dishbags do?
They do, they do, bag, dishbag, dishbag.
I'm like, okay, you're drunk. And then some waiter gives Jamie shots in a dick gun. So they
get us back up from, I don't know. And Adam's like, fattening, you got to dick in your hands.
So you ever needed. They're like, I want a shot. Wait, is this chocolate milk? She's like,
better. I'm a little better. I got the nectar of the golds chocolate milk.
She's like, better, I'm all better, I got the nectar of the golds chocolate milk. It's time for commercial, it's time for...
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between
Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her
laminated eyebrows., it snowballed into
a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
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The crap is commercial.
So now it's dinner time.
It's like, oh, look at these views.
It's like, it's lovely.
It's like love itself.
Oh, fearful meditation.
Well, a lack showtime is best.
Jewel from times just like it.
And the thought that they got of this is incredible
because they showed Jamie coughing her face off
and then smoke billowing up in her face
because Anna's smoking get the table crouched.
Yes.
Oh, poor Jamie.
It's actually funny because we re-enacted that scene
when we hung out with Hannah.
Cause you guys were, that was when my cough was really bad.
And you guys just start smoking cigarettes in my face.
And I was like, I'm gonna go stand over here.
All right.
Sorry, honey.
I was like, I'm in there.
So Hannah and Casey are talking.
And, uh, well, basically who cares?
So Brooke, they're, oh yeah.
Hannah and Casey, Hannah's like you know Hannah went to Hannah gets drunk she'll just like heckle you right at the table she's like isn't it sad about that broken in that
dish bag with a dish bag with an awful person and Brooks like I can hear you
if you if you want to talk about it don't do it around me like she's kind of
telling them over the table yeah she's like don't do it around me. Like she's kind of telling them over the table.
Yeah, she's like, don't do it to me right now,
because I'm in love at the moment.
I can't take it right now.
Let him come us through that you're willing to.
She's like, well, I guess we can't talk about the situation
happening right in front of our honey eyes.
Oh no, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it hurts, man.
I question the man how I have an off-relationship
If I didn't like him I'd keep my mouth quiet and wait the wings to long as to shit. No, that's not how it works
Now I know that when your friend is talking about their asshole boyfriend
Your first response should not be break up with him then what an asshole. Yeah, but that's not your boyfriend
Okay, this guy is like flirty
with someone right in front of your eyes like literally two hours ago. Exactly. So no, it's
not really the same thing. Sorry. Yeah, exactly. But so then anyway, Hannah's like, well,
Casey, congratulations for not peaking on like kid of Miranda was like, yeah, congratulations
for not peaking. And she's like, a girlSake once in a while and no one ever forgets.
Like girl, you were down for like four days
puking in a little bin.
People are not gonna forget that for sure.
And then Hannah goes,
what did you order Brooke?
Cause the food starts coming to the table
and then the music stops and everyone's tense.
So, what did I miss here?
And she's,
grab your wallet.
She's, oh.
And then you're like, go see say thank you done real
I'm like she just asked what you ever dinner. It's like not a not a pressing issue
Everyone's awkward. Yeah, like they weren't that awkward when he smashed a glass with his hands
Like what the hell is going on on this show?
So now they all had back to the boat and hand us like, honey, honey, honey, honey,
and she's just like really few of me in comments like,
everything that Hannah talks about is about Brooke and Joao.
Like she won't stop obsessing about it.
She's like, honey, honey, honey,
she's like, I'm passionate about what I talk about.
I'm sorry if you don't get it, honey.
And she's wearing a sweatshirt that says eternal dilemma,
which is so hilarious while she's freaking out, you know.
And Conrad's like, I love her but she's obsessing. It's an obsessing root. All right. She's like, where are you honey? He's like, you're having to go at me. She's like, I'm being passionate.
Like, this is what I'm doing. And if you can't take it, I'm walking away. I'm like, why? It's like,
I'll talk to someone else about it. Like, no one else wants to hear about it either.
Yeah, and then she's like, I'm getting this support.
I get no support.
So she's starting to spiral in downwards in a strange way.
And meanwhile, Collins just like passed out on a bench.
So Adam and...
Is it Joao? No.
I forget who starts stacking stuff on him, maybe.
But they do it either way.
Adam and Conrad.
And Conrad, yeah, they start stacking stuff on top of Conrad.
They're putting like shoes on him and everything.
And then all of a sudden, Hannah just yells,
Conrad, get my, like, Zandem the Queen Handbag, all the way, Monor.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Which is actually, you know, we forgot to mention this on Mondays.
Actually, Super Sad, but I feel like we have to mention it
because it's a Broadway news that Annabelle,
ladies of London passed away this over the weekend, which is super super sad
So as much as we make made fun and be like, I like that. I mean
That's really sad. So I love her. I loved I loved her. I know. It's really it's a it's a bigger it's a big bummer
So anyway, yeah, so thanks. So Jamie's coughing. It like, I don't really I don't think anyone realized this has sick
I am and they hold hands. She holds hands with I think it's Casey cases like we're almost there. Don't worry
John Brooke
Talking and she said this is cool. We should hang our after and he's like after this chart
who we should hang our after. And he's like after this shot, and she's like,
for season even after the season.
And he's like, condos in ballboy.
The economy's fucked, but the pro-die having my country
is amazing.
Yeah, he's like, rob you, they'll keep map you.
Oh, if you're pregnant, if you're two month pregnant,
they'll beat you up and hold it onto your head.
You can see your mother's blood all over the floor,
they'll torture car, they'll slit your wrists. wrists you know it's a great country you should come
I was like wow thanks thanks for the free promo tourism board of Zimbabwe Jesus
Yeah, so he tells us a horrific story about a time when I guess he and his mom were robbed and
these robbers beat his mom up when she's pregnant and
Terrific and then gone to his horrific story. So it like brings up these dramatic things in his past
Which of course Brook is getting such a lady bow to her right now. She's like you've obviously had a lot on your past
Travel past allable
You've been through more than anybody I own this bet, which makes you the hottest.
Oh Mr. Rochester, if you tell me that there's someone on the attic, I think I might just have a lady moment right here.
You are the Titanic, and your entire personal story?
Did you know someone who died in a sledding accident?
Did you?
Did you?
Like a Leo to capitate.
It's actually a really...
We laughed because that's what we did, but it is really a sad story.
Very sad.
I was like, hi, guess what?
This is extremely sad and I will not feel bad for a while.
Even though I did, I did feel bad about it. He went through a personal trauma.
I mean, that is terrible.
And he goes, he's like, I'm just going to the bathroom.
Everything's fine.
Everything's totally fine.
Ha, ha, ha.
Totally fine.
Going to the bathroom like an old person does just a pee for a long time.
He goes in there and he starts to cry, which is sad.
That's how the terrible thing is.
They make you hate somebody and they're like, oh, don't you feel bad now?
I'm like, oh, I should.
And I'm trying to, but I don't.
So Hannah, well, I mean, of course,
I do for that story, but it's still
still, it's still,
still, you are on the present.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So, and then Hannah and Conrad are on the deck.
And she's freaking out.
She starts this, she starts spiraling out.
So she's, he's lying in bed. And she comes in to be like, well, good night.
And he's like, well, let's talk.
And she's like, you know what I'm going to say good night to me.
He's like, I'm trying to squash this.
You're not going to say good night, good night.
And then just when things can get any worse, Adam walks in and there's like
the smashes are in the head of the door.
She's like, I'm so lucky.
Oh.
So she's getting her when she's down.
Yeah, so let's see. She goes to Adam and she's like,
oh, uh, she wakes Adam up. Oh, she wakes Adam up because she goes back out alone and she's like freaking out.
That's what she's having up. Yeah, she's having like, so before that happens though, but before that happens though,
so they had this, they have this moment where she's like, she gets mad at Conrad because he won't say
goodnight so we'll fall in.
Good night.
So she's turned Adam hits her in the head by accident.
She leaves.
And then we go back to Brooke, who's waiting around for a while.
And he's taking forever because he's crying in the bathroom.
So she goes down to check in on him and, you know,
she goes and he's crying.
So she hugs him.
So now her lady boners like off the charts, you know,
and then now, as well as crying to us in the interview
and having nightmares about,
he has a big nightmare about being,
you're not being responsible for a sister or whatever.
Oh, so sad.
Sad stuff, sad stuff.
And then he, but then he's still,
he's still even in his like sad moments.
He's still manages to spewed bullshit
because he tells Brooke,
I'll just lock people to see the positive in me.
Like, hmm, you have a funny way of doing that.
Yeah, that's kind of hard.
She's like, you're such an awesome person though.
The way you've let the two girls at once
and call other girls to see where they're so awesome.
Yeah.
So then, is this where it's four in the morning and Hannah comes in and she's like
Conrad Conrad and Conrad is out
Right because he's like they were all drunk and stuff. He doesn't wake up and Adam's like oh just getting up to be it 4 in the morning
And it's just what I do. I guess she looks so radum
Um, but he hugs her and he's like I feel there's responsibility for Hannah
You know, I'm like which is why you're trying to like
undermine her authority.
Yeah.
This shows so weird.
So Anna's base.
He's very helpful to her.
He's like a good guy to her, I think in this.
Because she's starting to get like the onset of like an
anxiety attack, which is really like, you know, horrific.
I imagine like a her like anxiety panic attack. So she's like, you know, horrific, I imagine, like an anxiety
panic attack. So she's, it's starting to come on for her. And he's like trying to be there
for her, but it's, it's not going well. And it's not, not something that, it's, now you got her
going down. And then you have also Jamie, who in the next morning is just like hacking up along
in bed. She's just a disaster. Like, oh, you're You're just feeling sick just watching the show at this point.
Yeah, and I forgot to mention the part, my favorite scene, which was Colin when they came home
wasted. Colin was drinking, like he was drinking a whole can of Pringles and like his face
were as big as shit in my cheeks. And then he had an empty Pringles cam like knocked over the beside of that. I was cracking up. He's drinking it like it's a cocktail
So the next morning he wakes up with a hangover and a Pringle hangover like we've all been I've been there, you know
Love watching a person like have a Pringles binge
So he's sitting there trying to eat his cereal and he's stuck between Brooke and
the Jawa and he's like,
Oh, not what I need these two in stereo.
And Jawa's like, it seems like there's a, it takes a lot of effort to chew this morning
I and he's like,
Oh, he's like, he doesn't even remember that he just ruined his whole mouth with those
two cans of Pringles last night.
And Brooke Brooks like, and also, uh, uh, I guess it's also a little bit better to talk.
So then Jamie goes to the captain and she's, uh, the captain's having her cup of
hugs from the morning.
And she's like, I've got the flu.
And she's like, we need to get you to a doctor right away.
Jamie is patient zero.
You just like did a bowl of breakout?
Yeah, she could spread this across the entire board and kill our entire season, our entire
crew.
She could get a boat full of pirates across the way.
What's listen, I don't always get a lot of pirates.
I don't want him to die like that.
Oh, page, page Christine Lady and Mandy Battingen.
We got a Chicago MD moment that we need to take care of Chicago Hope. I hope she gets
better. Don't give me sick. Do not give me sick. Do not test me. Do not test the boat.
Oh my God. You're giving me eye hugs right now. Don't away. So then we see broken Casey
and Brooks like, ah, the ravioli last mile. It was so awkward Brooke's like, Ah, they're having a really last mile.
It was so awkward.
And Casey's like, look, we weren't saying anything bad
about you.
We were just saying, from here on out, we just, you know,
we just have to support you, you know,
which isn't totally what they were saying,
but it's good on her to clear that you're like that.
And Brooke's like, well, I was mad because I thought
you were talking massive shit.
And you know, this isn't something we all have to take so seriously you know like really you're the one
like you're the one writing wedding vows in your head okay yeah he's like well
I've always said he's a good person but I just don't like some of his ways that's
all when he's
here much he's since one for each piece in my bathing suit.
So, so now we see Hannah, and now like this sort of scare is she's like crying and like convulsing a little bit.
She's like now in the full throws and an anxiety attack, but Sandy doesn't know this because she's up in the bridge and she's like,
gosh darn it. You know what? I haven't seen that set that Hannah banana all morning like
why is she eating all the broccoli because if she's doing that oh God. Oh no I'm annoyed.
Yeah, God I hope I get some more those mashed potatoes.
Puss nips!
Sarah you're down there Adam. Sarah you're okay.
Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. Hannah the bridge, Sandy, Sandy, Hannah,
Sandy, Sandy, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy Hannah Sandy Sandy Sandy Hannah Hannah. It's a god damn it. So Hannah comes up to the bridge and the captain is
doing one of those things where she's like, oh just finishing some taping.
Okay, don't you love the Quarity? Isn't that so nice Quarity QWERT? Why online? Just like that.
You know what? That captain taping I have to do, spread it,
captaining. Okay Hannah, um, how was yesterday? And uh, Hannah's like, I'll give it 385
hon eyes. I'm not used to it. She's like, well, I haven't seen you work and I've seen
everyone work in this morning, except for you, Hannah, She's like, I'm a bit ill. Oh, are you okay? No, I'm not sandy. No, I'm not sandy. Oh, well, I didn't know you were ill
Why don't you tell me? Here's like
And she runs away. Yeah, the captain follows her. She's like, oh my gosh, you're two hugs. I had a me. Let me hug up
Patient number one patients. You're euro patient number one right here everyone
You know what this could spread over the entire button killer entire season
Is it food poison you get some bad broccoli bad brand Zino and it's like no, it's just anxiety
I now this point hand is now back in her like room and Santa has send you a spoiler that she's like
Unfolding love with him and when I fall in love with the man I go away from him
and then he goes awww
I mean when it comes to love wouldn't you just rather be glad that you're
experiencing it at all?
Just like don't you want to live in it?
Don't run from love and broke us like oh my heart the most beautiful
exotic ever seen
And Hannah's like the only way to fix it is she get away from him and that means quitting the cats is like well don't quit
Just damn bed for a while Hannah. God. Just just want to work that really is sick
You know what she needs she needs a map just get some rest
You know arrested crew was a non-anxious
love in love crew that's what I say yep that's the that's the that's how you fix everything it's
the essential oils of bulledeck if you will get some rest and then they cut to hand just like
puking in her bed I was like oh love pukes yeah so. So now, get in your whites.
Come on, crew.
Get into the whites.
White, white, white, white, white, white, white,
white, white, white, white, white, white,
Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, white.
So let's see.
So she comes.
Everybody meets up for the meeting.
Yeah, it's like the pre, like the,
the, the, the, the Kenny is about to come on.
They're in the meeting and like the living room area.
And Cindy's basically, basically like, well,
we know Jamie.
She basically has,
she has the grip.
She's got tuberculosis.
She got it all.
And Hannah, she's love sick right now.
So don't worry, we're going to pick up the slack.
No team member behind.
We're just going to pick up the slack.
You know what we do?
When I eat brands, you know,
you know what I say?
The brands, you know, I'm picking up your slack
because you're dead fish now.
That's what I say.
Slacks.
Hey, Hannah, you know what I went from you I want you to say hi
Kenny and then go back to bed now we're short crew so you're gonna have to go
into that bed and hug yourself while you know. Okay. The Jamie comes back a little
bit she's like
I broke the old track yeah I need this and Sandy just smiles okay well we're just
gonna quarantine y'all okay? You know that room by the kitchen? The onion room? Yes, we're out of the onions.
That's who you're going to be.
Yeah, we'll just put you in.
Just right next to, hey, Casey, can you give her your bin?
Okay, great.
Yeah, we're going to put Jamie in the onion bin, everybody, okay?
Jamie's like, finally, she's like, yeah, I'll be great.
You can take so many naps.
Yeah, I can have fun in quarantine.
No one's going to come in. Yeah, yeah, I'll be great. You take so many
naps. Yeah, come have fun in quarantine. No one's gonna come see you for three days.
So make sure you stock up on food. Adam's like, well, we didn't make anything with
onions, but here's a suit made out of bronchial truncatus. Okay, enjoy that. So here comes Kenny Kenny Nevada me is like he's dressed like a couch in a
whorehouse first of all I'm not really sure what he's going for here but
it's not working so he comes in and he's like guys it's great to see you but if
Adam's here I just can't come on the boat haha just kidding I was like oh my god
his joao's long lost uncle yeah like so a little bird told me you're only serving dinner in bowls this year. What's that about guys? Come on
And Adam says I apologize Kenny for last year
Everything I do today is for you
Everything I do I do it for you
you can. Everything I do, I do it for you. And Colin's like, whoa, look at that guy from sports. I have a big sports nut, so this is really cool for me. His hands are really big,
you know, I wonder if I can get us watch off that wrist. His hands could probably hold six
different bringle bottles right there. And the captain says, Adam's here for you this time,
Kenny. Adam's going to be here for you this time.
And Hannah's going to show you things.
If she starts breaking down and crying about men,
just pat around the head and tell her to hug herself on the floor for five seconds.
So Hannah gives a bow tour,
which by the way, I thought she did a great job considering she was in the panic attack
I mean that's like impressive, you know
Uh, sometimes you're you know, you may be having a panic attack
But when someone's wearing a shirt as bad as Kenny is you have to realize that some people in my favorite worse than you
Exactly like there's nothing to make you realize what am I panicking about there's this guy Kenny like
Oh, no, I think I'm out of no care.
At least I'm not Kenny.
So Hannah, I think it was more like,
well, I realized I'm in love right now
and when I fall in love, I go away from the guys,
but if I go away from Conrad,
I might wind up with a Kenny, so.
Yeah.
What am I anxious about?
Yeah, hold on to something.
So she's like, well, heads well heads up on mat today for a bit
I'm not feeling well, but I'll be back later for you tonight probably and lady goes oh
Don't worry about that Hannah. We're easy. We're easy
This is her eyes turn red and like dark clouds appear above it. We are easy
are clouds appear above it. We are easy. Yeah.
So guess what? They've got heavy luggage and now it's time to leave
port. So they're leaving in port.
Adam's on the reverse. And they're all setting up this launch.
He's Adam's like, I'm going to knock out the park with a no onion
lunch and everything, filling up for it and everything. And
Casey's excited. She's like, I can finally shine.
She's literally holding a piece of metal,
so I would light shines on her.
I look, yeah, she's like with Hannah out of the way,
now I can prove myself.
Like, I don't think the Hannah was the reason
you didn't know what a barista is.
You're right.
Okay.
So then the ladies are walking around the boat,
and the lady goes goes the boat is so
huge can you imagine trying to turn this thing and what's that guy's name
Janana and ladies like Joana like what do you do Joana God pass you
oh
frick me while like throws a glass of crap call him by his proper name
We're getting closer Have some respect
He's my friend. He's my squad
So Kenny
Kenny then comes to the kitchen is like hey Adam guess what I got you a trucker captain says hashtag new Nions. Oh no onions
trucker captain says hashtag new nines. Oh, no onions.
That is one of those awkward things you get in the mail. You're like, damn it.
It's like I should have capital. What are new anions?
It's like a health product. I am that noon.
And Adam's like, oh, I'm just going to laugh it off.
But every throws me, I'm going to embrace it. Hold it tight and make it right.
Okay.
So then there's like this really weird moment.
Like the producers for some reason had like a blast.
And for some reason, I don't know what,
I don't understand what it was.
It was like this strange, strange moment where,
so they were on the boat.
And then the guests were like,
Oh, what is, where is that?
Is that a, where is that? And is that? Is that, where is that?
And I think, and they're like,
Desmond thinks it's Serrento.
Where is it Serrento?
And Brooks, like, I think about the Paso Tano.
And then the producers show the island.
And under it says, Serrento.
I was like, ooh, because random like,
we'll show brick about her geography.
Yeah.
You gotta love the brick, because I think it's's past the time that but I just made that up.
So she doesn't know and then she never asks. It's like to know them. All you really have to do is
pull out Google Maps and you can see where you are. So can he goes hey you know what look over there.
It's a beach. Let's make this a beach slush. That won't be hard, right? Can we do that?
And the wife goes, um, isn't the table set right there for lunch?
Ha ha ha.
He says, well, we can do what we want to do.
And she's like, oh, he's going to be that guy.
Like did you just realize this?
You married Kenny.
I know.
He's like, I don't know if I considered that table,
that mediocre pebble display case.
He's like, no, I'm trying to shine.
Um, so, yeah, those are my trials. mediocre pebble display case is like no I'm trying to shine
So yeah, so Kenny bass you tell Sandy that he wants the beach launch and it's like of course You throw everything in a tizzy because it's such a big to do and Kenny knows this because he watches below deck like every week
He tweets about it. I feel like all the I'm every no one then I see his tweets for some reason and he's always like hey
nice
Nice boat or whatever so he knows
what he's doing he knows. Yeah he's like I just wanted a table and six chairs and some flowers and
possibly a circus party. What's the problem? I'm not I'm not able to make magic happen but when
Derek can he would do it. I can't make magic happen but I guess if love is magic I guess
I've made magical my life. Sorry. Oh, he's the captain comes out so he says oh hey, uh,
we're gonna put all the toys in the water. Guess who the star is? Rames with a Hannah and Ahana Nana She's like, um, can we ask you where are we? Oh a seranto and they'll go
Like the cheese
So it's like well, I was just saying we should do lunch on the beach. I mean we could do that right just that's easy
Can't read right that's easy, huh?
Currents like absolutely
Don't have any idea how to do it, but I'll do it
Um, I don't I'm sorry about the vast avalanche on the beach. Don't hit me. Please don't hit me
And he says I knew he's gonna post some shit like this to get back at me damn that bitch
Yes, ma'am. I guess that's means we're just fucked in the face
Oh, please you can serve your chicken salad on the goddamn beach get out of the ran rap
He's like I guess this will just have to sit here on the counter for an indefinite time until someone tells me to put in the fridge and
That's good beach. I do love a show where the
The threat of a beach picnic is the cliffhanger for a week
Yes, there's gonna be a beach picnic is the cliffhanger for a week. Yes, there's gonna be a beach picnic.
No.
And then at the end of this one, it's like coming this season,
I'm the Lord, that Mediterranean.
And then it's all this drama, drama, drama.
And then the captain is like, I want a fire.
Hannah, I want a fire.
It's so bad.
And then the end of this huge dramatic preview,
Conrad walks into the kitchen, he's like,
it smells so good and Adam goes,
no, you smell good.
Don't touch her!
And I was so mad, I'm like,
why are they stealing the lines
that Ron and I always say to each other?
After every live show.
I'm like, they smell good? It's still a lot.
So that's it for Below Deck, Matt.
And then normally we would end the show now.
But you know what?
We've been doing these, we've been having a bunch of live shows on Fridays and traveling, et cetera.
And the crap is mail back has gone a little bit of loss.
We decided so because we're going to be in Philadelphia this Friday,
and we're probably going to forget to do the crap and mail back again
We wanted to give it it's due so let's do a special Wednesday edition of the crap and mail back
Which god forbid the music actually plays when I say play it but whatever it's gonna be
Okay pretend the music play it. it's my iTunes is acting funky okay so by the way tell everyone what the crap is male bag is Ronnie the crap and
male bag is when you go on patreon to patreon male bag level and ask us
whatever the hell you want to yeah Yeah. Okay. So the first question comes from Catherine. Um, and she says, Ben, Adam,
Carol's ex wants to boycott Delta for not letting baby number one on the plane as an emotional
support animal. How do you feel about this? Well, I expressed my views rather candidly on last
week's uh, St. Louis show. And then again, on the TV party app. But I'm always happy to say bullshit.
And I think what I'm going to bring to it this time
is that Bethany said that Adam is an operator
and it's like, oh my god, how could Bethany say that?
And I think if anything this kind of has proven to us,
he is an operator. Adam is an operator trying to push this.
Baby, is a service animal bullshed on us? No.
Well, one thing I will say about this is that if the way that that law works is that if you have
doctors notes saying that your dog is an emotional support animal, then your dog is an
emotional support animal. So I don't know that the airline has really the right to say that they're not when that's
the law.
Now, that said, maybe Adam didn't have the proper note.
I'm not really sure how it all went down.
Well, the here's a thing.
He may not have had the note.
He may have had just like the little vest and there's emotional support animal and then
there's service animal and there are two, those are actually two different things.
And I don't know what the lot, because I think service animal is the only animal that you
really have to make accommodations for.
I think, please don't quote me on this.
I'm sort of talking out of my ass.
I'm just trying to remember from an article I read like three months ago.
And I think ESA's emotional support animals, you don't necessarily have to make accommodations
for it, but I think people do because they get them confused with service animals
But that being said I think airlines may have policies about yeses
But I think they're changing them. I'll let someone who's way more educated on this just post a link on our page the point is this I
Think that Adam is probably trying to con the system with baby because it dog is coparented by like three different
people and I honestly feel like and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. That's what this
is all about. I don't see if you have an animal that you're really using, you know, to
reduce your anxiety, you're an anxious person, you need the animal. I don't think you like
time share. Like I don't think you like let the animal go to different parts of it. Like go away for several days. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't think you like time share like I don't think you like let the animal go to different parts
Like go away for several days. You know, I'm saying like I don't think you co-parent with three different people an animal
That you need for your mental state. Yeah, you can be the animal emotional support issues
No, that animals can they need an animal?
Now that's adorable. Well the animal does have a bit an animal called baby number two and three cats
animals called baby number two and three cats.
Alejandro M asks, what would Leanne lock and real housewife award acceptance speech be?
Don't forget to throw in the acting credits.
If she was getting an award and they were playing the clip,
like in here's clips from Leanne, you know, they'd play the clips
and she'd come up and grab the award and yell up at the screen.
Miniclar.
You know, they play the clips and she'd come up and grab the award and yell up at the screen. Miniclar!
I'd like to thank Sandy.
Sandy B. She's been a great inspiration, a great friend that I haven't talked to you
since the one day we shot a movie together, but great friend. I want to thank her.
I would like to thank all of the people who need charities, poor people, sick people, you know,
Handicap, whoever it is, I'd like thank you for needing charities because otherwise I would not have a job as a charity broker
I'd like to thank Tiffany handra and her sanctuary of style. It's really helped me get over my PT SD. Thank you
I would like to thank the large penis that was used to chase
Cameron Westcott around the beach with because that was a much needed
Life rest in the middle of my flesh eating bacteria vacation. I like to thank the Dallas public transit
Corporation for providing trolleys that I could bang once in a while when things got too hot and heated around me
I would like to thank brick walls for being strong enough to break glass when I throw glasses at them
I'd like to thank Marie for looking so scared when I threatened her life with a safety pin
She really made it a worthwhile experience for me and I'd like to thank my mother without whom I
Would not have the experience of being a chronic kid you play against me. You're gonna fight
I don't have to think to round up for hosting this events. I
Know I have a round up weed killer because you know kills weeds
I have legs. I know how to use in and I know how he's my hands too. Thank you
Also, I would like to thank the word, etc.
For letting me use it right now for all the people that I forgot to thank. I love you.
Now put your hands together to clap for me. I know y'all can do it. They're just hands, but they work quite well.
Thank you. Thank you.
God, sometimes it's hard to remember those jokes.
I'm like, well, where are the jokes from last season again?
Last question.
This is from Oliver Haskins, who we adore.
He says, Caroline Fleming, Frederick, Eklund,
and Yolanda Hadid Foster all walk into a cafe in Copenhagen.
Who gets the only plate of Comte cheese?
Now that, I'm into this.
Okay. I think the last the last plate of Comte cheese.
It is only one there's only one plate of Comte cheese left. Who gets it?
Oh my gosh. Well, I think I like climbing of course because I started it.
I just started the whole cheese movement on Bravo.
Well, how lucky are we to be here together in this restaurant when it's just the three of us?
And I got each, get the cheese and you get to watch me. How lucky are you?
How lucky are you to watch me eat cheese?
And then Frederick just does a high-kick in No Rath. Like, is my cheese, though?
He's lucky. It is my cheese. I know the cheese. The cheese is a celebrity cheese. And he just
French me. I'm going to have that apartment, Hunter cheese, to find out apartment of his life.
I'm the biggest broker of cheese in New York City. And you're allowed to just stare as
indifferent. He says, who is Comte cheese in this world? No one. Yeah, you'll want to eat and cheese. Last week, someone posted on the internet,
you'll want, well, you'll want to foster eats in a day. Some magazine article she did.
And of course, it starts with lemon water. And I was like, you know what, I'm done with
her. I'm not even going to finish this article. But I guarantee you cheese was not on there.
Yeah. If anything, she dips her fork and the cheese and holds it up, takes a selfie,
and then puts the fork right back down again.
Yeah. How can you eat cheese and expect to have a king?
Comte is Bel is Gigi's favorite cheese that she doesn't eat. Of course, the other one eats it all for her.
And the other other one, well, you know, he gets nothing, but he would have it if he could.
You know who eats cheese the weekend.
I tell you this.
My love the weekend weekend.
We can just my love just because it didn't work out with my daughter.
The other one doesn't mean it can't work out with cheese.
I'm gonna close up this mail back.
Hey, the music's back.
Nope.
No, it's not.
Thanks everybody.
It is on my computer. Whatever
Thanks everybody so much for being here. We will not be back exactly tomorrow
Because we will be in Philadelphia at night so the recap will be posted way late night real housewives of New York law
expected around
Like 10 or 11 p.m. to be on your feet on the
side. If you want to hear it while we're recording it, get your butt to
tickets. Okay, watch your wrappers.com for this Philadelphia show or that
Philadelphia show Thursday Friday and Southern Charm and Philadelphia.
Next week is Monterey. Oh, just for last festival, our real house was of
New York recap over there, which is going to be a maze
Thanks everybody so much for listening. We will talk to you next time. Bye
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