Watch What Crappens - Boo, Ya Betch
Episode Date: September 6, 2018Carole and Bethenny are still going at it over text messages in the final part of The Real Housewives of New York reunion, but will we find out who gave Ramona a robot eye? This week's bonus ...is about Ben's foray into Game of Thrones and Ronnie's possible vegetarianism. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Garsh! tees only on sale through August at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Denver, NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Lo, welcome to Watch Your Crappens Podcast.
Podcast all the crap you love to talk about on Bravo.
A.
I'm Ronnie. I'm also from the Riz Pricks Bachelor Rost.
And here I am with Ben Mandelker, my sweet little gorgeous co-host in France.
Hello, Ben.
Oh, hi Ronnie, how are you?
I'm doing K. I'm a little stressed out after watching the Real Housewives of New York Reunion.
K. Oh, yeah. Well, let me take that camera out of your eyeballs
that way you can relax for a moment.
Let me take that grocery scanner robot eye out.
Yeah.
So we are doing Real Housewives of New York today,
final reunion, big day.
But first, we're doing live shows.
Next week we're in Denver.
We're going to be doing Real Housewives of Dallas there.
Get your butts over there.
It's going to be amazing.
Then in October, we have two shows in New York City.
Then in November, we have Seattle and in December, we have a Nashville everybody come
see him get your tickets at the links at watchwhatcrapons.com.
Yeah, we are, we are very excited.
And if you missed yesterday's episode, first of all, how dare you?
Second of all, we announced that we are going to be doing a small exclusive show in Charleston,
South Carolina, home of Southern Charm.
Tickets for that show go on sale tomorrow, which is Friday.
Hopefully you're listening to this in time.
Friday at 9 a.m. Eastern, the ticket link is on our website, watchrapans.com all the ticket links for all the shows that Ronnie just mentioned, but
Definitely, it's I think this Charleston show is going to sell out. We are people are already talking about it very excited
It's a small venue. Now I'm gonna say it better sell out just like five tickets available
Yeah, it's a small venue so you know if want those tickets, be there at 9 a.m.
It's gonna be awesome.
And, you know, Ronnie, we're here talking about New York,
but I have something about Dallas I have to talk about
where we get started.
Do it, go ahead, do it.
Well, here's what I gotta say about Dallas.
We're going there, too.
Hey.
We're going to Dallas. Oh. We're going to Dallas.
Oh my God.
Yeah, people.
We are going to Dallas on February 9th.
We are doing a show at the Texas Theater in Dallas, Texas.
Tickets are going to go on sale.
I think actually next week we'll have to circle back on that.
But just start marking that down.
February 9th at the Texas Theater.
Take us go on sale very soon, just stay up to date with our Twitter or Instagram or our
Facebook group, Watchcraft and Zalive and Lovenant.
We'll have all the updates there.
Keep an eye on watchcraft and Zalive.com for links.
But the answer to your Texas prayers is for your...
Yeah, your Texas prayers.
And if that is your Texas prayers. I don't know aim higher
But we're very excited for Texas. You know, I'm a Texan. I love Texas in Dallas
I think is a place where we can all converge easily fairly easily
And that is a huge place and you know, we're gonna get some of these Dallas crazies on there
Yeah, I'm excited and if you're from Oklahoma come down to
Yeah, Brianna
Okay, so here we are with the third part of the reunion Yeah, I'm excited and if you're from Oklahoma come down to. Yeah, Brianna.
Okay, so here we are with the third part of the reunion. We went on Amy Phillips satellite show on serious XM on radio and D today.
Yeah.
And talked about this already for a little bit and God, it got me really
riled up already talking about it.
Yeah.
And we'll probably be probably be saying the same things over again.
So sorry if there's overlap, but you know, these things have to be said.
They have to be said multiple times.
That's just our narrative. Okay.
Now, there's a word again.
There.
And if go ahead, go ahead.
Why don't you say narrative again?
Like I was just like, I put this.
It's a super.
Like narration like what would you like?
There's one thing I'll just like narrative.
Oh, fucking Bethany.
Well, we can't be more repetitive than these hosts.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because they're pretty repetitive. Here we go. Yeah.'t be more repetitive than these hose. Yeah, yeah, they're pretty repetitive here. We go
Yeah, it's a repetitive bunch of hose you said it right repetitive hose mix a good garden. I'll tell you that
It certainly does got it makes an exhausting reunion. I was done watching this reunion and I was like tie tie
Yeah, it was it was exhausting. It took a lot out of me. Um, and yet it was it
took a lot out of me and yet was very fulfilling. So it like it took something out and then replaced
it with something else. And now I am, I'm actually possessed by the reunion now. Um, yes,
Ben is Ben's like arguing Ben is wearing rzone socks right now. Were you about to lean over to the,
to the snow-captular?
Did I catch you?
You totally did, and I was like, Ronnie,
your form and it's into the day.
Yeah, I was like, I wasn't even,
I clearly was not winding up for a rant.
But I was like, because I was,
Well, when you said you were possessed by the reunion,
I was like, okay.
He was like leading back, opening the screen door,
and then he possessed. Katya, I like that, because. He was like leading back, opening the screen door, and then he possessed.
I'm like, I'm gonna step back.
Gotcha, I like that, because there's always the,
when you're caught, you go, yes.
That's your stalwart.
Yes.
Actually, I got, yeah.
I'm back in the frame.
Actually, we said, a reality check for Thaemey Phillips,
and then I got a text from my friend Cheryl,
and she's like, I just heard you're on reality check for Th Amy Phillips. I was like, wow, this is a great day.
It's like just a real talk about being repetitive. I know. Talk about it. I love you, Sheryl.
Clunk. What? I love you, Sheryl. Clunk. Because when we used to gossip after theater shows in El Paso,
we would call it clunking, because we couldn't start talking shit
until we clunked the car door set.
Because people couldn't hear us.
You know, so we'd be like,
oh my god, I can't wait to clunk after the show.
Clunk.
We should mention, really briefly,
we did talk about this on Amy's show.
Oh my god, she totally cock-blocked our podcast.
But we did go to Tom Tom on Tuesday night,
and we haven't talked about that.
Tom Tom!
We had so much fun.
I really enjoyed it quite a bit.
I love that place.
I really love their salad.
It was delicious.
I heard no animals.
And just laughing in general, it was a really fun place.
It congrats.
You're fucked.
It was a really good bite.
And it really was a cohesive vision.
I mean, Nick Alain, he really was a cohesive vision. I mean, Nick Elaine. He really isn't my show. Nick Elaine. I'll tell you what that restaurant show got
it in gear. Get it. Get it. But we did not see neither Tom nor Tom nor anyone else from
the cast there, which was too bad. It was too bad, but you know what? It was also kind
of nice because we did. We just got to cruise the waiter too bad but you know what it was also kind of nice because
we did we just got to cruise the Waders Harder you know what I mean. Yeah like JoJo our
Waders slash champion twerker he won a twerker championship. Yes this is true. Yep you guys got
it on time. The twerking is out of control. There's vegan food and twerkers. Okay?
Yeah. Exactly.
And on the menu is Lisa's famous rigatoni.
I was like, oh, I didn't realize she had a famous rigatoni,
but I suspect it's the pasta from...
there's that one episode, which is like, sometimes I like to experiment
on Ken in the kitchen.
Get it.
It wasn't even a joke.
Yeah, so nice spurmy, some nice spurmy Ken jokes. Thanks, man
Everything Lisa makes is famous because at her other restaurant. She has Lisa's famous warm potato salad
I know she acts like she's been going to a bunch of country fairs, you know winning ribbons
I didn't plan to serve it warm, that day to County Fair it was 103 degrees
and I ended up giving half the people salmonella and walked away with a golden ticket.
Anyway that was just a little Tom Tom update. I felt like our listeners would want to know
that we are up to date on all the
the latest
Thank you for turning West Hollywood into Lisa Vanderprungwood
This old block. It's like that whole block is Lisa Vanderprung. Yeah, it's not fun with it
Yeah, it mother load next story. Yeah, okay, so let's get to the show. We open where we left off last week
You best me get to the show. We open where we left off last week. You bashed me all during the show.
How did I bash you? How did I bash you?
What did I do? What did I do?
What did I say? How did I bash you?
Oh, I'm such a bad sh**.
I'm like, I don't like how I say.
Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I like a cheat an army like what is this like to time? What do you double that's right now 10 years old?
Yeah, so then that's what Andy was like well you both fast each other and that's when Carol said oh
Andy yourself full of shit
Yeah, he gave her Andy scrunch. I fierceness and
She's like you're afraid of her too
Scrums I fierceness and she's like you're afraid of her too?
Yes, first of all everybody's afraid of her and we should be okay I don't always agree with the tractor and I'll say it but it'll still run me down and turn me into mush in the middle of the road
Okay, yeah, it's like it's like going up to like Cruella de Vil's henchman and being like you're afraid of Cruella de Vil
It's like yeah, it's Cruella de Vil. See where's puppies. Yes, I'm afraid of Cruella Deville. It's like, yeah, it's Cruella Deville. She wears puppies.
Yes, I'm afraid of her.
She wears puppies.
Her name is Cruella.
Like someone thought, let me name my child Cruella.
Okay, she grew up Cruella, all right, and Deville
from a good family.
Yeah, just because she's from a good family name
doesn't mean she can't be evil
Truly one of the greatest villains of all time and I don't know why
Disney has not given us a crewella movie because that's one I would see I didn't see Maleficent But I would see crewella. I would see the shit out of crewella
Well, they paid to rent it to wear a lot of her jackets because during this always coming on in those weird fur jacket things
Yeah, how about the cast of Dallas this week?
Well, we'll get to that tomorrow.
Yeah, that lands high letter, high letter yellow jacket.
Yeah.
I'm fashion.
Leandlockin.
Leandlockin.
Look at little puppies because Leand's walking to you.
Leand's like, I will not kill any more puppies this season.
Don't.
Don't.
Okay. So Andy's like, um, yes, I'm afraid of her.
And he gets really mad.
And then we miss the shot of Bethany just pinching his underarm fat, like really hard.
So I'll answer properly.
That's good dog.
That's good dog.
That's good dog.
Yeah.
So then there was that moment.
And then we started to get into the new stuff, which
is that Bethany's basically countering.
Seeing Carol did bash me.
And she's like, and you didn't even do a like an Insta
story with your friend who's like an 40s 50s or something
and went like, see the girl, does that even work?
Huh?
Does that even work? That's what you guys what you said and they cut to a flashback
of Carol with the famous Cassandra and Cassandra's just like they're like talking about skinny
girl and she's like it's like no longer appropriate just to just let someone be skinny instead
of her body type and Carol just goes she's on hand yeah okay Cassandra why don't we just
change the name of it to,
like whatever her body type is girl.
Like that doesn't have a thing to it, okay?
Yeah, I can't take you seriously
if you're dating Samantha Ronson,
what she is doing.
Also in Bethany's defense,
this girl could have been 40 or 90.
I couldn't tell either.
Which I know is probably not appropriate
to brand that either, so.
Let's just go with whatever you feel like saying that your age is today.
Exactly.
And it was actually that that instant story was that was some strong evidence for
Bethany, like on the Bethany side, because it was like Carol with again,
hanging out with like a young cool hipster girl, um, you know, so it does lend
credit and they were bashing.
They were.
But that's all they're going to do exactly what I'm talking about so welcome to the hypocrite party
But that's what this whole show is everybody's fighting to the death online and they're both wrong
I mean they're both they're both right about each other being an asshole which makes them both wrong and both right
So it's like who wins nobody?
I thought I thought if I had to choose a winner, I would choose Carol in this
situation. I think Carol won this reunion over Bethany. I think Bethany was spinning
out of control. And as I said on Amy show earlier, I think that Bethany has now been
put in the position of Jill Jill Zaron because I have this longstanding theory.
Anyone who's been like reading my shit back from the TV guys and days and not
right about like the hills and stuff. I have a theory about masters and sidekicks.
Like I call them masters,
cause you know, sidekicks are sidekicks,
but who'd like controls the sidekick?
I call them the master.
And there's no, nothing causes more drama
than when a sidekick moves on from its master.
And basically Carol was Bethany's sidekick.
The way Bethany was Jill's sidekick.
And like when the sidekick moves on,
the master
goes nuts and it causes all this drama and that's what we're seeing here.
Yes and usually the sidekick loses because they try and come out and they're like I won't
be your sidekick.
I mean we saw it happen those times you mentioned Brandy Glantville and Lisa Vanderpump member
when she was like I'm not her sidekick.
Yeah Brandy really, I think it's actually a draw.
I think sometimes the masters really lose
because they don't know what to do.
And they become crazy, they become irrational.
And it's actually kind of empath,
you're usually empathetic to the sidekick
because normally you're saying, yeah, like good for them.
They're becoming their own person,
whereas the other person's going nuts.
Brandy messed it up.
She was definitely, like, she was a sidekick failure
in terms of like growing her own wings. She was definitely like, she was a sidekick failure in terms of like
growing her own wings. She like grew like, she thought she was growing wings, but she was like
growing elbows or something, and then she just like fell.
Elbows fly and too close to the ground. Thank you, Willie Nelson.
So Andy, yeah, so we're back. No, bad? No, no, no, I'm with you.
I agree.
I'll talk about the IG story and then it comes back and
about things like, is that what you guys do?
That's what you guys do.
You just go on like IG, like you ran, you like make fun of
skinny things, like that's what you guys do.
I'm like, that's the required.
Like you open up a can of tuna and turn it into three
Instagram stories.
And Mona's like, can we move on?
I have a face cream little change of skinny face forever. Okay. It's called skinny forever face cream
It's it's you ageless okay
And Carol's like I don't even know how you know about my Instagram stories since you blocked me talk about being a child child
Play with blocks
I'm about things like it was sent to me. It was sent to me. It was sent to me. It was sent to me
Somebody sent it to me somebody sent it to me it was sent to me it was sent to me somebody sent me somebody sent it to me
Somebody sent it to me. That's why like Jesus just answer once
Okay, you get one answer here. Yeah, yeah, I don't know
There's something weird about that because it's like an Instagram live
So you can't really like record them unless you go super out of the way. I don't know something weird something weird about that
Well people do.
It's like, Bethany's going live.
It's probably what's the matter.
Who every time Carol Dingterphone had to like,
screen recorder, whatever.
So then we start talking about Brian, AKA Red Scarf.
Oh, good.
And then Bethany yells at Andy.
It's like Andy can't win at this, you know?
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, different ideas.
But what Red Scarf is looking for in Bethany's.
Like, ah, who cares about Brian?
Who cares, Andy?
Jesus, Andy, let it rest, Jesus.
Well, how about you take your own advice, Bethany,
because you're the one who jumped down Carol's throat.
Carol went on like a perfectly nice date with this guy.
She had no idea that he was texting Bethany on the side.
And she's like, yeah, he's nice.
I think he likes me.
And then you're the one be like, oh, you know,
oh, just smile, just smile.
You think you just want a prize?
You think you want a prize that Red Scarf competition?
Like you didn't, you didn't, because he was texting me.
Like you're the one who actually cared
too much about Red Scarf, Bethany.
Yeah, it's a consolation prize, old person.
And then so, Bethany, he's like, is anybody still in touch
with the Red Scarf?
And Bethany's like, no, no, I'm not in touch with him, Andy.
Why are you even asking?
Are you Sonia? Are you Sonya? Are
you Sonya? Just to like even donate this further for Carol.
Even Sonya, fact, I'm trying to hint that even Sonya is fucking
red scarf guy. And Sony just sucks in her cheeks and like shakes
her head. She's like, yeah, maybe I did, maybe I didn't
fronchy. So girls like, well, I'm sorry, but I'm in touch with
him. And then Beth and he is like, did it scored it?
That's all I wanted to hear.
She's like, makes this smile a little smile.
Yeah.
And then like, there's a lot of cross talk over here.
A lot of talking over each other.
But Carol Basley said she wanted dinner with Brian and like,
asked if like, she was like, listen, if you're into Bethany
and at all, then like, I don't want to have a part of it.
And he said he wasn't.
And he showed me, he showed her like the text messages and gave her screenshots and everything
to clear it all up, whatever.
But she basically was like, when she basically said when they went to Cartagena, she had no
idea about Bethany and Brian.
So she was sort of blindsided.
Yes.
And then Andy's like, well, but once you saw,
once you saw how he was on the show, did it change your opinion
of the situation.
And Carol is like refusing to give any points at all,
which is I think her downfall in this.
And but this one she has to.
She's like, wow, then I went to Carter Haynut
and to her and it's like, he wasn't Spanish.
He wasn't Spanish, man. I like my name like my kiddos.
Kid with the little olives. Keep the blue cheese out of you motherfucker.
I mean, we just spent Spanish, Chilo, we came with this.
Now, D'Arunda, I don't know if D'Arunda is having withdrawals or what,
but since most of this is talking about alcoholism to the reunion, why has Dorenda
itching herself like Miss Kino's were just unleashed on the entire set?
I noticed that like every time she made a comment, she would then like scratch her wrist
and then like like shake it.
I noticed that but then again, I've noticed that I've been scratching my wrist like
least so maybe she has what I have which maybe just drags in.
Yeah, I'm a addiction. Yeah, yeah. That's my point. So girls like I didn't understand Bethany's anger
and fitry. Oh, he was smug. He was smug. Okay. That's why he was smug. Just say it. Oh,
what is this? I'm creating a narrative. I'm creating a smug narrative. Is that it? Yeah.
So the calling someone smug is an narrative. Bethany. It's labeling do you understand the difference?
Amulah Ramona is like on the side of the like all the way off at like Antarctica trying to comment and she's like smug
You don't see yourself Bethany. You don't see yourself like is there like a terminator back there with one I do something
Where is coffee supposed to be drunk out of? Not for a smug.
But then...
But I also like, like, Bethany needs to calm down about being smug.
She was the one the day before and the van was like, yeah, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, every single day, he just text me, just like, nonstop, like, text, text, like, I don't want to hear him.
Like, I don't need him, like, I don't need him. Like I, you know what I, like hey, so you ever on fourth magazine?
He wasn't, okay, okay, Carol's not good.
Fine, fine, I'm using the word smug in my narrative about creating narratives.
Look, the book is read by the author for $11.00, I'm not paying it narrative, I'm not paying it.
You know what I call that?
A convenient narrative, okay, convenient narrative.
So Carol's like, then I watched the show and then I hear this whole story. The Bethany's concocted in her narrative.
She's like, oh, I heard a story.
I heard a story.
She's swinging her arms around like a lunatic.
She's like, she's so, she's just yelling about anything that comes out of Carol's mouth.
And then Carol does the same things.
It's like every time Bethany says something, she's like, there she goes again.
Which, I mean, again, you're both right.
She gets into full school, Marm mode.
She's like, can I speak?
You told this whole long story about Brian,
which was not true.
Ha.
Ha.
You're a smug narrative.
That's what you're a smug narrative.
You're a smug root narrative. So Carol you are smug narrative! You're smug root-me-er-nerative!
Uh, so Carol's like, okay, so here's the text messages!
She puts on her, as you said, her Sophia Petrillo glasses.
Yes! And starts reading a cheese cake. I'm like, what is Carol reading? Like this?
She's like this by contained dairy, nuts and soybeans.
He's don't look like the text messages.
And possibly fish.
Whoops.
Whoops.
Whoops, boy forgot.
Bethany's allergic to fish.
Yeah, they never asked on this reunion why Ramona tried to poison Bethany.
There was just like so much that we can.
Long moment, okay.
Very sorry.
I'd like to apologize to the FDA. Fish and Bethany there's just like so much that we want moment. Okay very sorry like to apologize to the FDA
Fish and Bethany
Okay, I'd like I'd like to apologize to fish both underwater and the band. That's always in Vermont and also
Fish food the ice cream is like you talk to chocolate chip. It's a blunt moment. Okay. Sorry. I also want to apologize to wander
She's a blunt moment, okay? Sorry. I also want to apologize to Wanda. She's a wonderful fish
Also, I'd like to apologize to chips for always leaving it out
My poisoning ritual I also want to apologize to Sweden for all their Swedish fish
They're so wonderful delightful for everyone. Okay. It's time for commercial
It's time for a crap-ins-com.
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You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Marcia. This is a girl whips out her cell phone and she's like,
Here's the text messages.
I want to put my penis in your ear.
Sorry, that's from Adam.
Coffee.
Wink.
So, that's things like, I'll give you the phone, Eddie.
I'll give you my phone.
I'll give you my phone, Eddie.
I'll give you my phone.
It's like, now they give you the phone, Eddie. I'll give you my phone. I'll give you my phone, Eddie. I'll give you my phone. It's like, now they're doing a text reading off.
It's like some weird poetry slam
where nothing's poetic.
Nothing's really slamming.
It's just like a dress of reading of text messages.
And Andy is so bored and zoned out.
I don't know if you caught this.
They show them talking and he's not even looking at them.
He's patting his hand on the chair arm.
Like, he's like playing. He's made like a little game and he's not even looking at them. He's he's patting his hand on the chair arm like he's like playing
He's like made like a little game and he's staring at it like oh
Oh, that's cool. He's just like maybe like
Give me himself a hand massage with the chair arm. He's like
Yeah, he's like tell me what I need to lift you up on my shoulders and carry you around the field path
Me okay, yeah, I'll be just over here, be dreaming until then.
So she's like, you, do you tried?
Here's the text message.
You did not try to set me up.
Like you said, Bethany, da da da da da da.
She starts reading it and Beth says,
what, what, what, what, here's what I have.
We're meeting people tomorrow.
Then we're going to Claire's.
But then the pizza with rice,
we're going to eat some more.
Then we're going to sit in a bun.
That's good.
And then she goes, yeah, then she goes,
this is from him, dude.
This is from him, dude.
I'm like, see, you're the one who got so upset at Carol
for saying, like, it's not that deep.
And you're like, this is from him, dude.
I mean, like, I don't care that she says,
this is from him, dude.
But I care that she gets mad at Carol
for saying it's not that deep.
And then says things like this from him, dude, but I care that she gets mad at Carol for saying it's not that deep and then says things like this from him, dude, you know.
And the point, uh, we were talking about this with Amy earlier.
And this is where I think that Carol loses a lot because she totally has the winning point
here, but she can't make it in a way that people even remember it because Bethany just
doesn't stop talking talking over her.
Carol's point because Andy see Bethany is like, look, Andy, it's a phone.
Look at the text, he's like,
this is it, this is it, this is it, this is true.
Like he gets excited, like he just picked a winning car.
Yeah.
He's like so thrilled to have proof against Carol.
It's so weird.
And she gets Seth Bryan, you shmour on, you shmour on.
Which is, well, because basically,
because Carol, because, you know know Bethany's talking over Carol
So she carols like all right. I'm I'm just gonna let her finish this narrative and she goes madive
I'm not the word madive madive so then then
I'm gonna stop my job has that for a word and I was like oh fail
No, and yet I laughed so then so then Andy is reading on Andy reads this thing off
off Bethany's phone that says something like, oh, it was a text that's from Bethany's
Brian. I'll be upset you up with your. Exactly. So he reads that and then and then Bethany goes,
ha, BOOYAH, BITCH, BOOYAH, that's why I said, that's's why I said she gets like right up in her face It was like so aggro and obnoxious and like unnecessary. Yeah, and so Bethany and Carol said it doesn't say that
I mean, he's like it's on the phone. It's on the phone
This says I can easily set you up right here right here what I win and
Carol's like when she sent that you know when he sent that when she sent that look at the date
Away 12 five days after speed dating because she already knew I'd gone out with him and that you know
That to me is the winning point because Bethany does shit like this where she plants evidence
Months and months in advance so she can bring it screen-shotted on her phone and say look Andy
It says I would set her up and he'll just jump on,
you know, he'll do what she says. And she's obviously lying and this is bullshit evidence that she
set up a long time ago. But Carol loses the point because she can't stop. She starts getting
is obnoxious as Bethany and I said she won. I thought she won. I mean, I know, but I thought that
Bethany made a jackass that herself in that moment.
And she did ultimately be like, yeah,
but this was after everything I was saying,
the point, the problem was that the entire comparison
between the text was totally murky.
I had a hard time understanding
what they were even trying to prove,
but I felt like Carol made her point.
And then especially, you know that Carol really got
under her skin because Bethany goes,
you know what? Get a hobby. Get a hobby. Which was a hugely significant callback to season three
when Bethany said that to Jill Zaren and for Jill, Jill always like, you know what? That was when I
realized I was done with Bethany when she told me to get a hobby. I was like, that was the
worst thing I ever had. The worst thing I ever had to get a hobby. I have a hobby. I like to sell.
And there she, you know, hobby, lobby I hate that place. I'd actually Michaels.
Go fuck yourself. Yeah, how about that?
So the fact that wait just what the underlying point here that they were trying to make is
that Bethany was trying to make it seem like she didn't care about Brian.
She was never after Brian.
And that she was trying to set Carol up and that's how much she didn't care.
And Carol was trying to prove that Bethany was stock texting Brian.
And being like, hi, I want to go out my day. I want to go out Tuesday, I'm busy, I've had a lot of
busy before dinner, I'm busy before the, but she never even got to say that because Bethany
knew that was coming. And so she just yelled over Carol the whole time. So it just seems
like a bunch of jumbled nonsense. And also I'd like to point out that we all have an
eye. Well, we all have a phone, a smartphone, most of us. Sorry, Jitterbug. But you can go back and delete texts that you don't want
and screenshot it to make it look however you want.
A screenshot of it texts or a text
thread really isn't proof to me.
Yeah.
Well, I think also Bethany has a warped perception of texting
because we saw last week when there would be argument
was about like, did Bethany
send Carol a million texts over Christmas, or did she only send one text that was eight lines long,
and Bethany's like, I just sent one text, that's it. And in Bethany's mind, she sent just one text,
but like, she clearly sent multiple texts because Carol read them, and I think that Bethany just
was like, well, that was one, that was a part of what I just meant.
Like, Ellen sent one text about this.
Like in her mind, the conversation was over.
I've just sent those texts.
Like the other texts, I didn't even register in her brain.
So I think she was one text session, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And so she doesn't like for, she just doesn't,
she doesn't understand.
She doesn't understand texting, which makes sense to me.
Carol's trying to scream at her brain.
And he's like, sick, that's it.
And Andy's like, oh, so you're saying it was days later Carol okay like he's bored again
and so they start blah blah blah and then Sonia turns to Ramona on the side and she's
like so what'd you do with Red Scar from the car?
Yeah appetizers did you fuck him?
How's your vagina?
Did you pee on him?
Sonia, Sonia questions. their appetizers, did you fuck him? Has her vagina? Did you pee on him? You know, Sonya.
Sonya questions.
I like that Sonya ultimately just sort of,
she's just like, you know what?
This is a power plant ego.
He doesn't even live in Manhattan,
which is like, oh no.
Like she reveals the dirty truth.
He doesn't even live in Manhattan.
Disgusting.
And Beth's he's like, okay, and guilty.
We're engaged.
I love him.
We're guilty. I'm him. We're guilty.
Oh, God.
And this is really only the first five minutes
of this reunion.
And I press pause so many times to just get what they were
saying.
And I wanted to kill really everybody on this stage,
except for Mona, because I love Mona's new robot eye.
It's like my favorite new thing on this side.
It's a really strong look.
And then, so then Andy, of course, he does this every
time. After he'd like, pits two women against each other, he opens up bold wounds, he gets
some screaming, he goes, so where's the friendship go from here?
Shut up, Andy. Jesus Christ. Come on. Like, what's going on? What's the matter? What's
going on? Like, the traffic coming? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Sit on the cat. No, sit on the three of them. How about this? Make a detour. Like, have it's going on? Like the traffic on the beach. Yeah. Right.
No, it's in three of them.
How about that? Make a detour.
Like, have a test. Like, stand in the middle of the road and like, have cars go different and be like,
if you're wearing a brand new, you become diversion.
You know what? You have diversion.
She's, she's always been the host in her own mind, but she's like getting belligerent towards Andy now.
I want to stand up for the little guy.
Yeah.
And he's like, is this over?
And Carol's like, is season made it over for me.
Bath and the.
And he's like, well, what about the black,
but I've, you know, and so Carol base, she says,
you know what, like, what was how,
because I'm sorry, Andy was like,
but you left on such a good note,
a blue and she's like, yeah,
but I watched the confessionals.
And Bethany was so mean to me.
And then, you you know like when the
season was over I want I want the fix that I had no idea she was saying all these
things about me and really yes yes you yeah circle gets the square so you get
the square. And then I like when people get mad about things so
they're true she's like I saw theals when she was saying I don't have a husband I don't have a
job I like to sit on the handlebars
of bicycles I've been seen coffee
means sex it's like a name something
untrue so yeah that seems like well I
was mad at blocks and Instagram that's
what I was mad at so you were mad at
the show and I was mad at the internet
okay it's like you're you're the one
she know and Ramona's like you said
the whole season Carol was, what's going on?
Why is she upset?
Which I still stand by that opinion.
Carol didn't even know any of this shit
was going on until the end,
which is why I was on Carol's side for so long.
And I love the blogs getting Bethany back
because she could really go point by point
about where Bethany is an asshole
and why she's wrong and she could sound intelligent.
She just lost me towards the end of the season.
But yeah, I mean, so Carol calls Bethany superficial
and Bethany is like, well, Carol, you changed.
She's like, yeah, well, my eyes opened, etc.
And then Andy's like, aw, I was like, I'm sorry,
does he just want to go?
Because it was fun seeing you two together.
I will say that.
I'm like, you just totally pitted them against each other.
You know, and you're like, oh, it's fun.
I like it when you guys were friends.
Aww, I think I'm just like,
so be a pica, pica, pica, make it run out of sentence.
Maybe lip-sleeves, or quotation marks,
or like a princess.
Maybe you pica, I'm gonna make up with the wins.
There you go, that's that, that camo eggplant.
Yeah, yeah, she's a pretty good novitive. So she's gonna be part with the way in here. You go that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, And then Carol, we now find out the real reason why Carol is leaving Bravo.
The real reason why she's been fired, she goes, oh my God, the block, the two people
read, sorry, Bravo.
I know I wrote Burn It Down, bitch.
She is just burning it down.
And then online on Twitter, she told social medea that, or Sashasha medea sorry that uh... someone said oh well
in the fight in the poll online seventy five percent wrong that's a
side of the house all please those polls are seven people in a control room
yeah
oh that was that was just so amazing the blog that's like really you're coming
for bravo digital now
yeah the book of the little alone the blog I was like I was like really you're coming for Bravo digital now. Yeah, the bloggers work hard.
I say leave word press alone over there.
But that was I think that was probably her like crowning moment in this reunion.
It's dissing BravoTV.com.
Well, this this ending was perfection of this segment because she's like, oh, no one reads
that.
A lot of people read it and the camera just starts coming back in a craneshot.
Yeah, being like, we're gonna leave.
Come on, we need to wrap this up.
You are, you are, you are, you are.
A lot of people read it.
Ah, and it's like, no one reads my blog.
The camera is completely in the sky across the street,
and they're still arguing over the stupid things. I also I love the idea of Bethany arguing about taking
a stance that Carol is based like her overwhelming relevance in the world
as she's not a journalist and like does nothing and yeah like so many people
read your block like so many people read your block it's like she's either like
totally irrelevant or completely relevant whichever one suits at any time for Bethany
I'm thankfully we get a little respite or respite
Depending on what part of the country you're coming from
But Andy's like hey, hey, welcome back everybody. Let's talk about some you have being a gigantic
Tarmac stealing whore and so we get to see her like
Being refreshed from her retreat in Costa Rica.
Yeah.
And then just basically her whole year.
Now some of these clips, it looks like they were 10 years ago.
It's like, how long was this season?
I know. I agree.
I was like, oh my God, I forgot that all that happened.
So they're showing everything.
And you know, they rehashed the family, the scenes from where she's talking about her shoes of the family crest and Dorenda goes, I would feel like an idiot to wear Ralph's
Tartan.
And in like the, at the reunion in the little box, Dorenda goes, that's all I said, and
I stand by it and then me, while the clip, and just like cuts the Dorenda saying more about
it.
That's like, she's like already like lying like over the whatever.
Yeah, I would feel like really walking the really fast.
Well, even in jail, they were better behaved.
Yeah.
Just a bit of a line from that whole thing, Luan.
And then did you notice that they showed all these clips that were never even in the
show of Sonia?
Yeah.
Is it like had all these clips out of Sonia in the show her assistants that are pretending to care that she's moving, etc.
Backing and stuff. They're like previously unseen footage.
It's like, wow, well, I'm actually grateful that they did not like build a
whole hour off of this for like, you know, secrets revealed. It's Sonya with the
vacuum cleaner, you know. And then Sonya's trying to talk up her new place.
She's like, well, I found an apartment. It has a rooftop. She's so lovely. My daughter will love it. The
games will love it. And my party said, I truly do have on Wednesdays, no matter what anybody
says and always have. And you know, it's nice not being on the top floor because you know,
I don't like high things. So it's only the 12th floor. Tha-all good 12th. Yeah, she's like thank goodness.
Oh and Columbus Circle, I was like,
Porosonia, she moved to a 12th story on the west side.
Oh, honey.
I know.
And then it was also sad watching her like clutch
onto the dear memories of her objects, you know.
She like comes out with like a little stool.
And she's like, this is the step ladder that my daughter used for when she played on the piano for when she was two
I'm like you're keeping like a little step stool like come on now
It's just like oh no the curtains. I've had these curtains the entire time the curtains
This is my squatty potty. I've had this since they came out my screwdriver
This is earwax. I rolled into a ball and flick the wall. Gosh, what was it 11 years ago?
Oh, here's some shaman. Same role. Just doing that slow roll. You know, the key is you just take out a little
piece every time. You don't even need to use the full square. And Andy's like, who saw this coming?
Sonia moving. And Bethany is like, well, I did because I was in the process with her so I saw it. I saw it
It's like okay, Bethany
I'm gonna read up one thing that's not about you fuck shut up
Yeah, I saw what can I say?
So then talking about what Sony did over the summer like this whole Costa Rican thing and she's like
Oh, well, you know Bethany recommended to me that I go to therapy thanks again Beth yeah no problem yeah yeah and so I went and so I went
on to an antidepressant and then when I came off the antidepressant you know I gained weight and
then this crazy thing started happening where I just started saying all this stuff the first thing
that came to my head and it just so happens that the first thing that would come to my head was
talking about that spoiled brat Tinsley and that crazy monster Jorinda. You know, there were things I thought, but I shouldn't have said them.
And then he's like, you're blaming coming off an hatch at a present for being
mad at Tinsley after she gave you a $5,000 gift card.
She's like, yes, but I shouldn't have said it.
I'm happy for Scott and for Tinsley.
And you know, it's like trying to put toothpaste back in a tube which I've literally tried to do
Yeah 10 years
10 years now I've had to give up my toothpaste remnants bowl
I just collect little pieces of toothpaste from the bottom of the tube and just put him in there
Did you go cool turkey?
Sometimes if you go cool turkey off those antidepressants
Turn it to a turkey. Do what I mean?
Well, my fridge has been on the fritz so it's been more like lukewarm turkey
It's brown turkey
So it's like oh we're good now, but I don't have my feelings
You can't don't lie like that
Romana just keeps going on about this like if you go off anti-depressant go fucking crazy KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKU, KU-KU, KU-KU, KU-KU, KU-KU, KU-KU.
And Carol goes, well, why does it only make you say negative things?
Because Carol, when she's saying if she go off and
answer the press and it makes you angry, why would you start saying positive things?
You know, that's where Carol's logic just seems to be.
Well, she probably said positive things too, but no one paid attention attention to the positive things because people only hear the negative things because so
News probably like, oh, you look so pretty. You look so wonderful. Tins is spoiled Brad and she'll never get married. Am I right?
Right?
Yeah, but she has great hair. What kind of pill can you quit taking that'll make someone realize I'm wearing rhinestone and quit?
So Tim is like, oh, you call me a prostitute.
How was it just a polygo-lightly, a polygo-lightly?
Polygo-lightly, the character from breakfast to Tiffany's.
I never saw it.
It's like breakfast to Tiffany's.
I'm like, that is a compliment, okay?
Especially from Sonia.
And Sonia gives her a look like, what?
I'm calling you Audrey Hepburn.
It's like the nicest thing anybody's ever said to you.
How could you say, I had breakfast at Tiffany's when I have room service?
Ooh!
Egg-fisted Tiffany's!
Oh!
Oh my eggs!
That's the breakfast!
How could you bring up breakfast?
Oh my eggs!
Oh my eggs!
My eggs!
So, we're back. That's a
lot of the journey. Yeah,
it's a lot of the
so now it's talking about the
family crest. I'm sorry, not
the family cresting. Now we're
talking about Sonya and Dorenda
getting that fight about when
when Sonia was talking about the
divorce and then Dorenda is like,
Oh,
it's a very husband, you know,
and you know, Sonia just felt
like it like it's fine. She says it's fine to talk about Richard. You talk about Richard a husband, you know. And, you know, Sonia just felt like it's fine.
She says it's fine to talk about Richard.
You talk about Richard a lot,
but I should be able to talk about my husband.
And she's like,
it's a finto and she's like,
well, maybe for you.
And which, I mean,
my feeling of this is that,
like, I think a death is different
because it's a death.
It's like a shocking tragedy.
And I get that divorce is like that too.
And I get that Sonia did not,
she basically, she didn't get to have a choice.
Durand just said, well, you know,
Dessie did last and Dessie's choice.
And Sonia did not get that choice.
So I get it, but they're all kind of right.
I mean, it's been a while and Sonia is still,
I mean, she's still harping on a step stool, okay?
So yeah.
And she's like, I love when you talk about Richard.
I love it.
Really?
What a weird thing to say.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, they try and they bring up this fight again.
But for me, it's that Durinda, no matter who's right or wrong, Durinda is screaming and yelling
of spitting in someone's face.
Yeah.
Well, actually, I don't even care.
Like, you know, she loses to me when she does that, even though it's like my favorite
thing on this show, and I hope she even care. Like, you know, she loses to me when she does that, even though it's like my favorite thing on this show,
and I hope she never changes.
But she automatically loses to me,
because they show these clips, and she's like,
I love you, man!
Spinning in someone's face, turning red,
like you look like a fucking crazy person.
Like, I know.
I'm so appreciative.
And then Doranda is about to take off her own arm skin
at this part.
She's like, she's already called.
Yeah, she bites her tongue for this one
because this is like her.
You know that Carol has like a little,
she's like buzzing her under her arm
because she's really trying to stay non-psychotic
for this whole time.
Yeah, because when Sonia is like,
yeah, you know, like, I didn't get a choice.
I didn't get a choice in all this
and they just come to Durinda
and she's just like chewing an ice cube or something.
Like, are you like, like, she's doing whatever she can not to snap at so on you?
She's like I know I'm already deep with Lou. Yeah, she glared you look at how we chase my island denial
So she is trying to stay calm and Bethany's like wow people process things differently for example like the way that I process
You know orders against Jason, okay, it's like, show that, Bethany. So they start fighting over this.
How I process, you know, vegetable drinks, which you can also find this skinny girl.com. Okay.
And then during this like, I, I, I, I'm just saying, I've come both divorce and death.
It's no comparison. It's no comparison.
So, arm pinching, arm pinching.
I'm fast forwarding through this death shit
because enough for me.
Yeah, well, it was short anyway.
So now the question is,
so does Dorenda hate Sonya?
Like, what's up with that?
And Sonya's like,
yeah, she hates me.
I'm pretty sure she hates me.
And then she's like,
it's crazy,
because we're moving one on one.
We have so much fun.
But when we get into group,
that has been everything goes wrong. But one on one, we have a great time. And Sonya's like, yeahon-one. We have so much fun, but when we get into group that has been everything goes wrong, but one-on-one, we have a great time.
And Sonya's like, yeah, you know what? Yeah, we do. We do. Oh, God, we really love
each other. I love us. Like, Sonya, you just said that to Rinda hates you. And I
like, yeah, she's great. She's just, she's nice when we're not shooting a show.
You know, she turns against me. Yeah. And then they start talking about the
family crest and stuff. And then this is where they all start hanging over each other.
It's like, you can't understand what anybody's saying because they're all talking at the
same time.
Although Ramona and Sonya do congratulate themselves, you know, we're good.
We don't do that thing.
We don't chop each other down.
I'm like, have you guys seen the past six years of the show, you and Ramona?
So, so, and so, and I wouldn't wear the Lynch family quilt.
And Sonia says, well, if your daughter came up with a plaid skirt, I'd wear it.
But Sonia's big argument and Durin goes, well, actually, my challenge is with Alice
Cress.
And I still introduce her as Ralph's Doiler.
Because she is.
Yeah. And I think as this, like, I feel like we all kind of agree with Durin on this point. still introduce her as Ralph's to all her. Because she is.
Yeah, I think as this, I feel like we all kind of agree
with Dorenda on this point.
Like we all get it, but just like, let Sonia be her
kooky self.
Just let her, but that let her just appropriate
that family crest.
She, like we all know, she's, we know she's not a morgan
anymore.
We know she's no longer part of that family.
She was kicked out.
Like you're just not gonna win.
She's deluded.
Just let her use her deer and let her make a few dollars off of it.
Yeah, and then Ramona, they're all fighting.
And then Ramona gets up and starts hitting her leg.
And she looks like she's in a Broadway show looking up to the balcony to see if anybody's watching her
It's like God forbid Ramona hasn't had a segment everybody, you know, yeah, she's like scanning things at the grocery store across the street with her eye
She's like blue blue blue that air fresheners 299 there
Set it. What do you want for me?
This is a man is like what are you doing? I'm cramping. I did spin for the first time in a while. You know that exercise when you stand
in the middle of the floor and you go round and round and circle until you get dizzy and fall over
and Aries says, Mom, you're doing it wrong? Well that's what I did. I fell on my side and now my
side hurts. So I got a cramp now and I have to just like push it out. I got to pretend like I'm Miriam. I got to pretend like I'm putting oil in Miriam's chest instead. I'm putting my hand in my own thought.
Stupid Ravada and Andy just keeps going. He's like, so Sonia, do you still see the current wife?
And she's like, oh yes, we're part family, you know, we have a collective family and Ravada goes, yeah, they were friends.
Like, geez, she takes it
a lunch crazy. She like makes the crazy fingers like, how's that? And Sonny's like, well,
you know, just like with that, that soccer team, it was really awkward with lawyers and
depositions, but things got better over time. Yeah. So yeah, Sonny was like, listen, you know, I say things that hurt people's feelings.
You know, like you say, Bethany, I'm a whack job.
But does that mean I'm not going to be me?
I have to be me around my friends.
Hashtag, whack job, whack job Morgan.
Whack job with a sexy W.
It's what I do. I'm a caper-raper less-guardist.
Yeah.
A whack job, caper-raper less-guardist, Andy. And Ram a whack-job, Caperepore less-guarta-standy.
And Ramona, you know what?
I love you, Ramona.
And you don't verbally abuse me.
Although you don't stand up for me either, by the way.
I love all her eyes, Carol's like, whoa!
Whoa!
I'd like to just mention that my forearm is fully red right now,
because I was slapping it to make the sound of
a remote massaging yourself.
Now you know how to red the feels when she's trying to not yell.
I know.
So next up,
Marathon!
Wow, way to keep us going.
This is already?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
It's a marathon of a reunion marathon's a marathon ever reunion marathon.
The marathon's the marathon.
So literally a whole marathon segment.
And Carol's just plugging along in that marathon.
Like, and Bethany is just eating her lips as she watches this clip.
Like she can't yell back at the clip
Yeah, she's just mad and then they show shots of like Adam like giving like being like congratulations And he's like oh look at the way he looks at you. That's cute
So bizarre because he goes well congratulations on the marathon. She's like oh gosh
It was just a one-off. I think I came in last year something and Bethany's like but she did marathon. She's like oh gosh, it was just a one off. I think I came in last or something
I bet he's like but you did it. That's great. You did it. What are you like?
What are you doing?
Yeah, playing you crazy pants.
And then I also like you know Carol once again is you know like yeah, you know
We got him and I've had coffee., we get out of my life and coffee.
It's like, okay, we get it.
Coffee, we get it.
We get what coffee is.
So, so Tinsley, so they're talking about the marathon and she's like, she's like, you
know, she's saying like she wouldn't do it again.
It was a one time thing and I was like, whoa, why could not run 25 miles?
Did you see, did you see the way my thigh just cramped up because I'm spinning, whoa, why could not run 25 miles? Did you see?
Did you see the way my thaw I just crammed up
because I'm spinning, I'm doing spin,
I'm turning into a wire.
So I started doing the marathon
with my gut, my spin leg.
It's terrible for me, I would never ever do it, okay?
I couldn't possibly run a marathon,
but I just can't the first river on Mars, okay?
Heros like, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Let's face it, I know who all the threats are in this room, and I know how quickly I can destroy you all with my terminator eyeball.
The Ramona laser eye.
So, uh, and he's like, so, you and Tinsy bonded, but you're so different.
What do you have in common? And Tinsy's like, we're not that different. Ah! She goes, I'm a girl.
She has hair.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, oh, oh.
And she goes, she goes, Carol?
Something like doing Carol, boys.
And she's like, Carol's a loyal good friend.
And they cut to Carol.
And she's just like sneering.
And she's like, whoa, Carol.
Yeah, Carol goes, look, we don't even see each other that much I
haven't seen her since May and Bethany made us seem thick as thieves but we weren't
I was like whoa okay she's like what a bit throwing
chance the under the bus I thought it was hilarious I thought it was like
most hilarious and again Carol just cannot keep it straight.
Like, he didn't even get to the point.
She didn't even let Beth go and get to the point
where she's like, I'm like, I need to get me for 10th thing.
And then you're always hanging out with 10th thing.
That's when you say, we barely even see each other.
But she didn't even let it get to that point.
She's just like, I don't think the Mike 10th thing basically
and 10th thing is like, you know that it's my feelings.
Ah.
It's a carol.
Yeah, and Carol basically starts putting on her cake glove me like no, I mean I like you
You're like fun. You're like cotton candy. It's like fun to in theory
But you never actually like have it that much anymore, but it's nice
Nice
Truthful and I'm just gonna describe our friendship as it was and not how it was
And I'm just gonna describe our friendship as it was and not how it was narrated, but narration creator narrative bitch. You're basically like tap water, you know, like, you're always there, but I would prefer a different kind of water if given the opportunity.
Yeah, she's a nice girl, she's not a complete moron, but you know, it's a difference between a brine of filter and spring water.
I'll just pull it every time.
She's sort of like that pure filter. You put on your faucet and you're like,
well, this will be nice, but then when you try to fill up your glass, you're like, it's taking forever.
How do you know when to change it, Tinsley?
The thing with Tinsley is he always has to put her in a glass of water for 20 minutes first
before you can start using her. It's like I don't have that time.
I put a drop of iodine in Tensley just in case there's radiation in her.
So Beth things like what are you talking about you've been to three countries with her which is so Bethany
Can I talk sure sure talk I'm talking sure okay go talk care. I'll go ahead talk
I go talk. Oh, that's what she likes to do. She's like talk like somebody care like talk
I thought you were right. I know like I talk like what are you like like a lean like literally can't even drive right?
And then Andy jumps on Bethany's line of course.'s like, so you've been to three countries with her.
Yeah, I mean, three countries on your own outside the show.
And Carol's like, OK, OK, OK.
So I went to Spain with her for like six days.
But to be fair, I had no idea who she was for four of those days.
Carol, you know how hard it is to find filtered water in Spain? had no idea who she was before those days. Carol!
You know how hard it is to find filtered water in Spain?
I had to take her.
I was like, you didn't go to Key West, huh?
You didn't go to Key West?
What about Key West?
What about Little Bar Milo?
What about Chicago?
What about Las Vegas?
What about San Francisco?
What about Phoenix?
What about Altatina?
Right, it's extreme together.
You did the same thing.
Hey, I heard you split in Uber, huh?
Split in Uber, like that.
Uber?
Quaint, frames, automobiles.
Sean Candy said, who cares?
Like I do.
I mean, he's candy anyway.
You know what?
Like, have a guess.
Haven't said I haven't candy.
Have some broccoli.
How about that?
OK.
And then she goes, what about Chicago or Vegas
and Carol goes, no, Bethany, those are lies.
You tell yourself, which I'm not sure what that means.
That definitely goes, oh yeah, that's me.
Making up lies about Vegas.
Ooh, Vegas lies.
And Carol's like, no Bethany, the lie is saying
that I need a best friend and attention 24-7
and that I just latched onto Chinsley,
like I would ever latch on to tap water
I mean give me a break and
Like
Tinsley
Tinsies spent this entire reunion in the corner just like laughing and joining like eating popcorn and also just like Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, don't do that. That tends to be like the nicest girl and also she's really been true to Carol.
She's actually been nice to everyone even Sonya.
I'm like, who does mean detensely, shame on you.
But you know, Carol is right in this situation, I think, because Bethany really did frame Carol
like this.
And you know, I mean, there may be some grain of truth to it because we do sort of see
Carol in this light, but you know, this entire time, Carol is saying that Bethany is shaped a narrative about
her and it's driven the season.
And Bethany's narration is that Carol is needy and if she's not with someone that then
like she clings on to someone she needs that.
She doesn't have it.
She's like nuts.
And yeah, Bethany is the one sending 18 pages of text because she's a fucking idiot.
And so Carol is basically saying, no, the lie is you said that thing and it created a drama that went the entire season so that's really what the narrative
is all this I went narrative down there narrative that's what it is well Carol's also writing that
narrative because she only shot with tensley it was like seen after seen with Carol and tensley
Carol yeah that's why I said there's a grand truth to it because because she she did do that and
like in seasons prior she seemed to only shoot with Bethany
or have
and it is like so you guys are saying that tensly and Carol didn't hang out Bethany
think they did hang out and then Bethany saying that she used to hang out with Carol a lot
and we're gonna go hey what about Mona
who's hanging out with Ramona give me some love over here girls
hang out me and I want to hang out with me. I don't want to hang out with me. Look, I can change it to any metal object that I want.
Look at me.
Now I'm a forklift.
Beep beep.
I'm backing up.
So she's, but you know, I will say this.
It's more, I think where Carol gets annoyed is that Bethany
is framing Carol as like a sidekick,
which is what I was saying before,
but Carol is like, no, I'm not a sidekick. which is what I was saying before, but Carol is like,
no, I'm not a sidekick. I'm just someone who'd like to be really clicky with another girl.
But you're making me seem like I'm just this like pathetic sidekick, but I'm not.
See, it's a pathetic sidekick. Like, I owned the first sidekick, okay?
Where you had to flick that little screen, and I thought I was so cool. I think Carol would pull
out a sidekick right now and be like, flick. Let me show you the text messages. Hold on. I'm on roaming.
So then we get to the resume fight and I just want to say that before that
With Bethany go. It just was another hilarious moment where tinsley gets degraded because Bethany is like well
It just seems like you and you and tinsley is so close and tinsley's degraded because Beth is like, well, it just seems like, you went tinsley is so close.
And tinsley's like, we are close.
And Carol just goes, you're a lovely girl.
It's just like such a condescending like pat on the head.
I wish that Carol would have stayed
just because tinsley could have gone against Carol.
And I would love that.
Yeah, and I'd like to Andy being like,
so wait, guys guys I have a question
Why is it wrong to hang out with tinsley and she's like yeah
It's not like so you know Bethesda from Bethany or whatever wants to know Judy from Judy town
I'm Judy from Judy town wants to know Carol you say you're a journalist, but you shirk deadlines and she's like
Wow
but you shirk deadlines and she's like, wow, look, it's been longer than two years
a book of my career was in ABC,
internalism.
And he goes, and when did you work there?
And she's like, um, 1814 until 1737.
He's like, wait a minute, that's backwards.
And Beth's saying, well, what was that like,
when, when was the gramophone invented?
Jesus Christ. Oh, that lady
Well, I seem to remember was when the telegram was create what did the telegram?
Or was it the printing press? I think it was the printing press
It was the telegram the phoenix grammar the gram cracker that you can't remember all the grams smelled again was the other
gram
I'll tell you the day that the
lifeboat finally came into our office was a real game changer for us. You called it
medicine bold now. Then we just called it an Edison. I'm just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like making a point, Bethany? What's your point? Because then I worked two years in Glamour.
And she goes, what is this, the resume?
What is that, is it your resume now?
Well, also Bethany does not honor the fact
that she's trying to share him.
She's like, no, I didn't know the number.
Now I know the number.
So now I know the number.
I can do math now.
I can do math, 17.
I get it.
17 again, I love that movie.
I love that movie about your career.
You don't have.
Well, you said a year.
You said that I didn't have a career. She goes, well, you don't have a career. You don't care, all. You don't have a career. You don't have. Well, you said a year, you said that I didn't have a career.
Just what you don't have a career. You don't care. You don't have a career. She has
Andrew and is like, all right, bless you. You see, let me see. Let's booing. Okay. Yeah. Let's
booing, darling. She's like, once you said on the blog, let's compare resumes. Okay. Here's my
resume. Okay. I went to, I went to, I was a personal assistant to Jerry Bruckhammer.
I worked for Lauren Michaels and Paris and Kathy Hilton.
Okay, babysitter, enough with that.
Yeah, like same in babysitting,
but let's the police stop acting like that compares
to a journalism degree in ABC.
Yeah, like do we, like do we really have to go through
all our summer jobs?
Like when someone wants to compare resume,
maybe start like after the internship era in your life.
I also like when Durinda said, that's bullying.
That's not right to bully.
That's not a nice thing to do.
I shut the fuck up with the family crisis you see.
It's true, but more on every day.
And you two with a mockshot, somewhere you want to win.
That bullying.
She slams on you in the head with a sock full of rocks. Yeah. Um, anyway, but
yeah, I was a big chef. And then I created the fastest growing Luca brand in history, which
I don't know that that's true. That's it. I was the first person to put this kiddie girl
hard on. Oh, all right. Well, that's your resume. Okay. We're talking about my resume.
Why don't you put that on your resume, Carol? Okay, you know, maybe you'll have one that yeah, I may have been on the cover for
Maxine I barely can remember because I've been on some of the covers like the I don't know but I think I was on
I'm for magazine we're on for magazine my former so Carol's like my resume equals that which you know Bethany
Hates to your that you know, you know, she's like and I create the largest private relief effort
How about that and Carol's like it which also I don't think is true either
I mean look I'm not take I don't want to like get into the mud like these two where I'm saying that neither one of them did anything
They've both done a lot. I mean
The girl is huge. She's the most successful housewife of anybody like give credit where credit is there
I mean she sold all that shit good for you. No, it was taking that away
The only person that makes you look bad is you
You act like a fucking asshole lady and then carol's like yeah, but yeah
Don't say you're obviously done a lot too. She's done important shit too as much as we like to make fun of her
Like you come you're both
Congratulations. You've both done well. She wrote a best seller that wasn't like coasting off of any previous fame like Bethany's had best sellers because she's Bethany
But Carol wrote a best saw that was like a true best seller because it was about JFK and his wife her best friend
Which is the first line of the description, so yeah, yeah, but but like Bethany's was truly people bought her book
Like I like that Bethany like oh, she's gonna tell me how to be skinny, you know
This is like Carol is basically like a no one.
Okay. And so and it was and she wrote it even though she wrote about JFK.
Everyone writes about, you know, they had a million books about them.
And she got on to Oprah, you know, which is, I really feel like it's an important thing.
You know, she had people like a Viva dresser reading her books.
Okay. And, you know, I just think that like, just, you know, Carol stopped working in ABC
news. Like, that's fine.
I she earned that. That's 15 years. And as Ramona says, that's a long time, long time to be
journalism. Whoa. Whoa. But uh, but like, people would give an arm and or a leg to read my book,
Bethany. Yeah. Well, I just think that like, I got it now. But the thing is, the just think that like I got it now, but the thing is
The thing is that like it's really both resumes are very strong
They're both well accomplished, but I think you know, I was talking about this
I was watching this with my friends last night and
We were all saying how for the reason my carol is getting riled up is because I don't think that she ever saw herself as a reality star
like a reality TV person and she she sort of thought she was like visiting this world
and having fun with it. But ultimately she was of like an intelligentsia class. She was
above all. She was above it all. She's visiting a good book. It's been a play on the whole time to do it.
But then so for for Bethany say you have no career is basically saying you are a reality
star.
And that's like exactly what Carol doesn't want to see yourself as.
So that's true.
Except Carol said as far as I can tell we have the same career right now because she
meant they have the same job.
And so I don't I don't know
where to fall on it. Although I will say that to start it be and Carol's right because
Bethany was the one who said that she never had a career. That's why this whole fight
starts. And Bethany's acting like Carol said she never had a career. And that was never
the case. You know, it's the Bethany's, you know, Bethany's just a you are a fighter.
You are you are. You are. She turns it all around. She's a you are a fighter. You are you are you are you are you are. Yes. Well, it's at all around. She's a you are a fighter when she has nothing to stand on
You know when she has when she is in the right
She's very effective and she will tear someone down and you you just can't
Like she she'll she'll just mow you over but when she but she's not in the right and when she's hurt and she's lashing out because basically
She's her she's hurt. She misses her friend and she's just lashing out. She's trying to be hurtful and belittled her
But she ultimately she's it's crying out for help.
She wants Carol back.
That's what this is.
And so now they're fighting, and they come back to the blogs.
They somehow get back to the blogs,
and Carol's like, you know what,
I didn't want to write the stupid blogs,
the stupid blogs that no one reads, sorry Andy.
And she's like, but, you know, it's like,
okay, I'll write a little something.
I'm gonna, I'll write something just to sort of like,
correct what you're saying on TV. Set the records straight, it's like, okay, I'll write a little something. I'm gonna I'll write something just to sort of like Correct what what you're saying on TV set the record straight and every week
There was just like so much I had to correct and it just got worse and worse and worse and worse and Andy goes
We need a break and she goes great
Like she is so over it
So then they come back and they start talking about cardad Hanna and a Beth
They show a clip where Bethany they're, Beth and Louanne are making fun of Ramona with her fucking wheelchair. And Beth and he's like,
oh my God, such a drama queen. Just stay home, dude. Just stay home. And then they cut to
Beth and he's sobbing at the kitchen. Like, I can't have anyone in here.
By the way, it's so funny that you mentioned that because when they had that clip of
Louanne being like, what a pain in the ass. What a true pain in the ass. I was like, gosh, I really missed
Louis Anne on this reunion. Just having that extra voice, not for us to do, but meaning
like the actual like voice on the show. I was like, oh, Louis Anne is such an essential
part of this group. The group dynamic, I feel like it might not have been quite as toxic
with Louis Anne there oddly enough because she not have been quite as toxic with Luan there oddly
enough because she would have been saying so many hilariously ridiculous things that it
would have been.
I've never even been to the cedar. What was it? The beacon. The beacon. I was in the
cedar. She would call the cedar. I mean the cedar. I'm headlining at the cedar. Like
that cedar sign I yes on what
happens live she looks straight in the camera and she goes listen here Ramona
looking to my eyes Ramona I was never even in the beacon this summer and we
re-mentioned this on Amy Phillips and I'm like listen if you've already fallen off
the what like you've gone to rehab which is an admission that you fell off the
wagon so like you don't have to you don't have to deny it, it's okay.
It's fine.
And if you don't like people talking about you at the reunion, you have to go to the reunion.
Obviously, it's understandable why she couldn't.
But that's another story.
We'll still shame you, because you are a Riquene or Mike Queen.
I don't want to force you into making your your queen too, but she's my queen.
You can only have so many queens in your life.
So Bethany, okay, so this whole blah, blah, blah.
And then Andy's like, Ramona, you remember how you used to be an asshole about picking
rooms and now you're not.
What was it?
The beating you took last year from Sashama Dia and she's like, no, I involved, Kate?
I learned. I was privileged and I thought
I was quote unquote entitled dot dot dot comma and during the day, give for you with your No, it keeps going. Baby comma make me work so I can't make it. Camercamercam size bed and last time I checked you're not a king, you're a child.
Today, I only sleep on twin beds.
That's why I have a twin mattress on a queen mattress frame at home, okay?
And then when it starts clapping,
we're starting clapping.
And he's like, God, okay, this trip, there's no way Bethany could have had fun.
Was it because of Carol Bethany?
And she's like, no, it wasn't because of Carol. I mean like
Look, people look like what are you gonna do like Tim's is close to what are you gonna do?
She's shaking her head all bad that someone said she's she's close to Tim's
Yeah, I'm gonna go what you're shaking your head what the sky is blue one is shaking head at that one
Shake your head at that sky. Hey sky what's your resume? What the sky like literally just stays up there doing nothing? Okay?
One change color. It's like congratulations guy. I bet he goes, you know what?
No, I'm just gonna wait here
I'm gonna say you don't wait here to stop like notting head make little comments and they got to carol just like
shaking your head anyway
As I get really there really was like a settling downtime for Carol's head to stop
nodding and making the noises.
Although Bethany shut the fuck up, you spent the whole reunion making googly eyes, smirking,
rolling those eyes, making like, like ridiculing laughing faces.
So like, Carol's still laughing right now.
She just told my narrative is is I just finished a renovation.
I had five trips for a leave.
I just took on too much again.
I just took on, I'm just too much for a good person, okay?
Yeah, she said I just finished five renovations
and just did 10 relief trips.
Okay, the relief trips, fine.
But I have no sympathy about yourself
and pose five renovations on your new
beautiful apartment when you just on your new beautiful apartment
when you just moved into a beautiful apartment. That's where you lose me.
I'm just like, how can you treat a homeless person
like this, Carol?
How?
Yeah, oh God, the homeless thing.
I forgot about that.
But you know what I'm saying?
The relief thing, okay, get it.
I got it.
10 relief trips, you're exhausted.
You've been doing X, Y and Z.
But it's like, oh my God, it's like I just had like 10 pedicures in a row. It's like I can't anymore
I can't do it anymore. It's like what are you doing this to me?
She was doing here for that show because she's been flipping houses and stuff and like Bethany does have
A million jobs, right? And she does have a million jobs
But it's like it doesn't give you an excuse to be a bitch, okay?
Busier people do not just get to yell at check out people in the express light You know what I mean? Like you saw it. Yeah nice. It doesn't give you an excuse to be a bitch, okay? Bissier people do not just get to yell at checkout people
in the express light.
You know what I mean?
Like you saw off the nice.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, especially because you never know that person
at the checkout lane may be a beloved sitcom actor, okay?
And bless his heart.
Never know.
That's their yell.
He's like, the job is a job.
I'm so happy that the internet was like, like, no,
like let Jeffrey Owens be a Trader Joe's guy.
And he's like proud of it.
Like, that's so sweet.
I once saw him in an off-proper production of rhinoceros.
And I was, there you go.
He was very good.
He was very good.
I just want to give him, I want to just say good things about Jeffrey Owens.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, I'm a very sane person.
And I approach issues logically.
I just have a brain scan and it turns out I have
a huge hippocampus which is why I can't hug people or show any emotion.
Like, um, what?
Like what, first of all, why are you having brain scans?
It's just like Ramona coming up, just like, oh, let me scan your brain with my terminator
eye.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, my terminator, I Why is your person who's hypersensitive to emotionally unfaible energy and it doesn't feel good for she doesn't feel safe
It feels menacing to Carol so be nice. Yeah, Carol's like I'm sensitive to unstable behavior whether it's right or wrong
It makes me feel unsafe. It feels menacing and bed seems like
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like smirking like the, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha But I have a huge vagina Such amazing throw away line like so huge and anybody's on the fence about whether and my Andy is totally here for Bethany
He goes oh Carol you know Trump is a very stable genius. Oh my god slam
To say to bring Trump up to Carol like yeah, that was Andy's wow
Carol like yeah that was Andy's wow dig wow and yes girl yes high fives to that and she's like hey hippo campus and bestie's like she's lost it yeah she's finally
fucking lost it and Carol got the hippo campus doesn't let you lose control so
you people are all fucking crazy now at least at first I thought Carol was
somewhat sane even though she's wrong a lot of the time.
Yeah, I went to hippocampus for college.
It was beautiful, I loved it.
It was a quad and hippocampus.
It was a great food haul.
I liked it a lot.
Once I stopped going to hippocampus, I stopped using this tag and let me sacks.
J-Latmos.
Listen, I don't care.
I don't care if you have a hippocampus. We can't all be consistent with the things we say. It's like Ramona's hippocrep. Oh, Swarp.
And then ten C's like, I'm sorry about the trip. I told him I wasn't gonna be beachy. I think it's not your fault.
Sometimes you just get lucky on trips. I was like unlucky. You ruined that whole fucking trip Bethany. Yeah, you're
Edge you get on the boat invited like by the time they got to the boat ride from hell people were like that was
No big deal like the biggest deal here was Bethany like being a total asshole on this trip
Exactly and Ramona's like whoa
I did love that little island until we went on the boat that little island was the best
It was like the Mario of violence. It's like a Mario and an evening put together
and made into an island.
I loved it.
And since it's like, yeah, okay, I had a couple drinks,
but you know, it's a boat.
So it's like a bumpy car ride.
And sometimes, you know, one time I was on there
with my husband, I said, oh my God.
And he said, don't worry, Anthony passed.
And then Romanticos, hello, there were waves.
There were waves like this. They were going wait like this. They were going over the boat
They were going over the boat and then during the Gus
Me and you with your husband with their fire alarms and miss Ali
She's like actually yeah, but that wasn't on the boat so
So my so my friends actually, they mentioned a great conspiracy theory that I thought you would
like to, you probably already know about it, but in case you didn't, do you mind if I
share it with you?
Oh, please.
So there's a conspiracy theory going around that the reason why Tinsley was quote unquote calm is that she's getting paid off by Bravo to like say, oh yeah, it was fine
because
After the boat ride the women wanted to like all get together and like soup Bravo or suit for this boat ride from hell
And but they couldn't do it unless they were all in it together and that Bravo was paying off Tinsley
So that way she wouldn't join this
This groups that way there would be no lawsuit which is why we don't see any footage because wouldn't there be footage after the boat
After things settle down on the boat, but they didn't show anything
Etc. Oh, yeah, I don't believe that and I love it and here's why I don't believe it because of course
I wouldn't bring it up on the show, but they would all be anti-Tinsley at the reunion
They would use you know how they fight on the re, but they would all be anti-tensely at the reunion. They would use, you know how they fight on the re-release.
They would pretend it's about other things, but they would totally go, they totally left
Tensely alone.
Well, Carol did separate herself from Tensely.
Well, we were close until she ruined my lawsuit.
That's true.
I think you're right.
I think they would have been, these women would have been taking Tens, they're like, fine. If she's not going to play ball with us, we're going to push her off the show.
Yeah, and I think they signed something that they can't sue. There's like some weird thing in
the contracts that they can't. Now, of course, they could probably sue in a different country.
Those contracts might not hold and they could sue the boat people. But I mean, if you've got boat
people with a boat that unstable that they're like writing out with machetes to cut off the hinker,
I don't know that they're going to have a lot of money to sue for anyway.
But yeah, and honestly, like leading up to the episode,
like when we heard stories about this boat, I was expecting some like shabby tugboat,
you know, or like one of those boats that the Van Opomp rules kids go on and cabo
to like their little booze cruises.
Yeah. But this was like a nice boat.
Like is this is just a boat that was ravaged by a rough sea.
And also it's actually said during the scene, this is nothing.
This is nothing.
This happens every time.
Yeah, she was calm during it.
And that was shocking.
I mean, really was shocking that Tinsley was the calm one.
Because, you know, I feel like she sees a butterfly.
She's like, oh my god, it's a fine world.
You know?
Now if there had been eggs on that boat, forget about it.
Oh, my anchor eggs. It's a fine world, you know now if there had been eggs on that boat forget about it
So anyway, this is around the time by the way so they're talking about the boat and it was you know I was saying like I was hyper ventilating she was peeing. I was being on her feet. We were being together
Whatever, but this is when we saw the close-up on Ramona's eye and like that you could tell the producers like oh my god
Get Ramona's eyes get Ramona's eye because the cameras like
You know, I just like zoomed in really fast
To me honestly, I saw the internet going crazy about this eye and I'm like hasn't it always been like that
Yeah, I think it was just lighting. Yeah, to me. She's always had that which is crazy
You know, she's always had crazy eyes and this year her her face lift for
the year her her eye section is pulled so tight like her temple skin is pulled so tight that she's
got like a completely different shape of eyes and I think at this point she's just stabbed her face too
many times in the face with no botulism or whatever she's made out of. We would have drowned they
hadn't caught that anchor would have all been dead the anchor would hit the sea floor
Killed a mermaid and the mermaid dad would come up and be like I'm angry. He killed my joy
To my daughter didn't say anything nice about me in the process. So I'm gonna kill you war
Trimsy man. That's good
Use a TNT I like that
That's good. That's good. I can travel. Huh, use a TNT. I like that.
That's hysterical.
That's sick. That joke was sick.
So this is a sick joke is sick.
So speaking of sick, and he's like, so why didn't Bethany and
Tensley, you know, shit all over the floor when everybody else did.
And Carol's like, it was a worm.
A worm. What are you doing? The worm now? What do you 10?
But I'm not care. Like, do you imagine Carol doing the worm now what do you tend? I'm not care like you imagine Carol doing the worm
It would be her just like flopping down the floor and just lying there
It's the earth worm and Andy goes for God that pooping on the floor and Sonia you wore diapers on the plane
And she goes I'm civilized Andy. I'm more a dip. I wore a dip
I'm civilized Andy. I'm more a dip.
I'm more a dip.
I like that he's like shaming her.
Like that seems like the most reasonable thing to do in that situation.
Considering that they were shitting so hard that it was as they said,
exploding out.
Like as Ramona goes, you don't just stand.
It was like an explosion coming out.
Boom! I'm like, I don't need the Anaman apia.
It wasn't Anaman apia. I was peeing all over myself. I'm like I don't need the onomatopeia
It wasn't onomatopeia I was peeing all over myself. Mmm
So they apparently had to parasites and tinsley by the way for those wondering tinsley did get diarrhea But only when she got home. Yeah glad we got that one covered so Andy's like okay
I would say rose and thorn bet to be different. Let's just go over the biggest regrets
How about Bethany first and Carol Rolls-R-Ice?
And Bethany's like, ah.
Bethany is like, I think, oh, whoa, me first.
Like, what I thought?
It's not like I'm the favorite or anything.
So that's such a dream to pick first.
Okay, because my biggest regret, my biggest regret
is that I guess I have apparently I called Dorenda a drunk.
I mean, I said a drunk, but you know, I meant like Durinda. She's a drunk, you know?
I meant Durinda, you drunk, but then people heard
Durinda, you're a drunk.
And so, you know, I regret that people have terrible hearing
in America.
Carol, you're like, what?
I'm just wearing glasses, not a hearing aid.
By the way, Bethany is, Bethany is losing so hard on that thing.
Like, well, I thought I said Durinda your drunk
But it's that sound like you're a drunk like because you said you're a drunk. That's why you literally said you're a drunk and
Own it miss own it. Okay, and she's a
Dundas starts crying that that's your regret. It's like
Okay, so just to reiterate, Dorenda, I love you. You're a drunk. Okay, fix that.
In the best possible way. Yeah, the best possible way.
So Beth thinks I tried to be his compassionate. I was when I was there. It was off.
You know what Dorenda, I was trying to be compassionate. I. You know what you're right that you know, I was like trying to be compassionate, you know, but then I don't know I don't know what America her, but it's not what I said. So then Andy's like so tensley and she's like, oh, well, I was gonna say okay Sonya
She's like my my biggest regret was opening the wound of tensley after I got that five grand from tensley's boyfriend
So sorry Yeah, yeah Sorry about that of Tinsley after I got that 5 grand from Tinsley's boyfriend. So, sorry.
Sorry about that. And then it gets to Ramona. Ramona is like, she's like, I am. Okay, thank you all for coming here. My biggest regret with that. I said to the wind. All the wind was in a very vulnerable place.
I said, when I want to take a picture.
I took a picture and I put it on Instagram.
And I regret that.
It was for a blonde woman.
I should've said, is that OK?
And she didn't say it was OK.
So I didn't know it was OK, but I thought it was OK.
And that's basic.
It wasn't OK, OK? And also when I texted Tom, okay?
Toothpaste back in the tube.
So Andy's like, Carol, do you regret
when you told me I was full of shit?
She's like, did I say that?
And he's like, yes.
Yes, you did.
Yeah.
She's like, well, I said it out of anger.
And he goes, well, it's okay.
I screamed at one point at both of you.
And then they showed the clip of Andy screaming
to get them and telling them to shut the fuck up.
Exactly.
He's like, you know you're fired, right?
Right?
Okay.
So what's your regret?
Feel free to give you the option to not return.
Or return as a friend up for $5, right?
Okay.
Yeah.
Here's Mallory from Bravo Digital.
Now what's your regret for tonight?
Do you want to say to Mallory?
You're welcome. Would you like to apologize to WordPress? Here she is.
Yeah, here's our intern who has to find photos for your blog entries. So what's your big regret?
My big regret was that Bethany and I could never get to a place where we could connect on LinkedIn.
And Bethany's like, I didn't hear a regret. Shut up!
LinkedIn and Raphne's like I didn't hear a regret shut up
Girls like
I want to have a conversation with her work put in greater context and I tried I tried I tried
I didn't hear a great shout-off skin out
Yeah, so Durinda's like's like every time we have into Louis Lane and even you're doing slightly tainted chili
Dilly and like right we get back to Jell-a and clearly getting drunk like in with
Bastion you know I know I'm grown and I'm healthy and it won't happen in game
Just like it's not really happening the kids from hell you're going to college
to get rid of
kids from here, you're going to college. You're without.
So they're like, okay, great.
So we're they do a toast with green juice because there's no way after this reunion,
they're going to give them champagne, but all the talk about who's a drunk and who needs to go to
rehab. So they do a green because on watch your happens live right after the rehab segment,
he goes, okay, it's Shotsky Day. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. So it's green juice they do the green juice toast and they toast to Luan and
And that was it just a fabulous fabulous season
Yeah, I'm from a large and is it tequila?
It's like no, it's not tequila you fucking
I can't see it my my terminator. I need to be recharged. Hey like you take the grass is that weird?
Well Lord knows you've broken that face down on it plenty of times. No, you can get used to anything.
Hey, what's that anvil doing over there?
Oh, sorry.
I transformed into one.
Thought it'd be fun.
It just falls on Carol's head.
Whoa, I'm sorry.
And it looked very...
Very chain-like.
The very last line of the right before Blackout is Carol going,
that could give us diarrhea.
It's like, well, at least they know how to wrap it up.
You know, boom.
Kim, right out of me.
Boom.
Thank you for a great season, real housewives.
I know.
All right.
God damn you.
It was dressed us out at the end, but it was fun.
It was great.
I mean, really, the only flaw in it
was that we didn't get Luan and the reunion.
It was like almost a perfect season.
Like I think just because of that it was not totally perfect but I think it was like 99.9
percent there.
It was just a great, it exceeded my expectations so hard, so hard.
Yeah, all we were missing was one solid quiet over there, Rods of L.
I know.
That's all we needed.
We needed Lou Ann to Skype in from rehab to be like,
hi, I'm here quiet, Rods of L.
Goodbye.
And that brings us to the end of another season
of Real Housewives of New York.
We will be back tomorrow for Real Housewives of Dallas.
And the meantime, go to get tickets for Crappens Live.
Then for next week, New York for two shows in October,
then Seattle in November, Nashville in December,
and Charleston in January.
January, and then Dallas will be in February.
You guys, this can be amazing time.
Yes, everybody, we sure love you.
We will talk to you next time.
Bye, guys.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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