Watch What Crappens - Crappens Live Boston VPR: The Return of White Kanye
Episode Date: January 19, 2018We’re live in Boston this week at The Sinclair, and we’re thrilled to have one of Vanderpump Rules’ finest episodes to cover. We had a blast. Love you Boston! To hear our premium bonus ...episodes, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm so caring, we care about how old Watch what happens, watch what happens
Kids what happens when there's so much that happens
What happens, what happens
What happens, what happens
I'm so caring, we care about how old
Watch what happens, watch what happens
I'm so caring,. I'm a professional professional. I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional.
I'm a real professional professional. I'm a real professional professional. I'm a real professional professional. I'm a real professional professional. Austin. Oh my God. Austin. Austin. Now comes the very exciting part where we have to put the Facebook live in a stance that
way people at home can watch a blurry version of us for two hours.
Focus on what's important.
Alright.
You talk while I put this in here.
Austin, thank you so much for wearing so many old Navy clothes.
I have never felt more welcomed.
I was like every mother fucker here. We went
to have dinner last night and Ben was like it's so collegiate. Look at all these professors,
you know. He's like college. Yay, smart. I was like those professors are wearing my same.
I recognize every damn outfit in here. Thank you, boss. It's so cool to be in Boston.
Technically Cambridge. Technically Cambridge.
Canberra, it's like a shirt.
It is literally cool to be here, because it is freezing cold outside for us.
Angelino's, we can't deal. You guys are probably like, oh, it's fine.
We'll just wear shorts. We'll be no big deal. But for us, we're like,
no, everyone from here is like, aren't you freezing?
It's the first time I haven't been sweating in like 10 years.
I've literally almost fallen on my ass like 10 different times already.
Because I have no traction on my shoes.
Like that's like the first like, how can you tell if there's an Angelino in Boston?
They wear shoes that are fully flat on the bottom.
Like everything I'm falling over. Also'll say, I don't know.
Like you can hear us in a coffee shop.
We're like, yeah, like I heard us in a coffee shop.
So Ron and I had a really funny thing that we did today.
We went to a bagel shop called Bagel Soros.
Oh!
Oh!
That's here for a bagel soros.
There's a bagel shop like a block from us
and then it's like,
oh no, I gelt.
Yeah, and there's one a mile away and it's better.
I was like, I looked this up on Yelp,
we're gonna go to bagel sorrows also because I'm like
a fan of Jurassic Park and I like to imagine
a giant bagel coming out to eat like Jeff Goldblum or something.
But so we went there and we were talking about like,
you know, the show for tonight and what we're gonna do and how excited we are to be talking about Vanderpump rules.
We created that. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
And so we were seated you know it's like very close quarters and we had like this young collegiate lady over here doing a crossword and this couple next to us, which honestly they are a couple but the
guys clearly gay.
Look, you know, look, it's two elderly gay people.
Yeah.
Well, I'm like the elderly man.
You're like getting there, but not that.
Almost.
But it's like two older gay guys.
Look, I'm sick of being the one who's like, and he's gay.
Like, of course, of course, that's what I'm going to say.
So I was like, don't say that just because it's like
some hot cute guy who could be on pornhead.
Like, don't say he's gay just because you think he's hot,
you know?
Girl, they're neopened his mouth.
Yeah.
He was like, I still have my Christmas decorations up.
Like, he was.
He's like, do you wanna go to a party?
I thought, how long?
And his girlfriend was just like,
I wish we were being inaccurate.
No, serious.
Seek up kind of looking at us like,
oh my god, are they saying he's gay?
I was like, we are.
We are.
So anyway, there's a reason why we're telling this story.
So we're excited to talk about Banda Pup Rules.
And we're like, I wonder if these people around us
actually watch Banda Pup Rules.
So when he's like, let's ask.
So, hi, I'm from Texas. I'm like, just ask them.
Yeah. It's everything is a community table. Like, if you have to sit this far for me,
I'm sorry for you, but blame the restaurant. You better complain to TripAdvisor, not me,
because my ass is going to talk to you.
Yeah. I will ask you. So, Ronny first turns to the lovely lady doing the crossword.
She's probably from Harvard.
You're gonna make people so much smarter in your mind.
What's she doing at crossword?
Yeah, she was doing a crossword on her phone, on her iPhone.
And, okay, said, and wanted to know what exactly she was doing.
So Ronnie's like, excuse me, I'm so sorry.
Do you watch Vanderpump rules?
And she was like, oh no.
You know what she said?
No, but my mom does.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
That's right.
I'm a mom's dad.
I mean, of course, she said that.
By the way, no offense.
Because like just said, do you watch the real house
size of New York?
And she was like, no the way, no offense. Because like I just said, do you watch the real house size of New York and see what it's like?
No, but my mom does.
But that is like, well, you know,
that's more of a mom show.
That Vanderpump rules us like,
how dare you, your mom did.
Yeah.
So then we're like, okay, well,
let's turn to like the closeted gay
and his girlfriend.
This little, I don't know why.
But don't look them in the eye.
Don't look them in the eye.
Neither one of us do.
And I'm like, I am trying to fuck your boyfriend. I't look them in the eye. Don't look them in the eye. Yeah. Neither one of us did.
I was like, I ain't trying to fuck your boyfriend.
I know you think I want to.
And I don't know why it was so important for us
to know if they actually watched Phantom Pomp Rules.
But it just felt like, I felt like we needed to say something, you know?
It's important to know.
I went on a cruise with my family recently.
Ain't nobody watch Bravo Trust.
I asked everybody on that boat.
I was like, who is Ramona Singer?
What's this the theme to? You know? And's like nobody got it, nobody knew. So we turned
and we're like, do you watch Vanderpump rules? And they're just like, no, sorry.
And we felt so old. We're like, these millennials, what do they watch? Like, if
they're not watching Vanderpump rules, what could they possibly be watching? Right?
They watching a candle or some bullshit. Yeah, because honestly I think Vanderpump rules may be the greatest thing that Bravo has ever created.
We were like let's not talk too much at the beginning because you know it's like pointless and stupid. And then I keep looking at my notes.
I wrote a big old girl who says nice new things to everyone.
Okay, I'm sorry, we will get on with this show.
This girl at the bagel shop made me so happy because
as someone who's like,
Hi, hi, to everyone everywhere, you know.
Hi, hi, hi, hi, Robbie.
Hello.
What's your name?
Hi, what are you like?
When I meet somebody like that on the East Coast,
I'm so warmed.
Because I always think everyone's going to be like,
shut up, bag it.
When I first moved to New York, I was like,
hi.
And people would just look down, you know, and walk away.
So this girl at the bagel shop is like, hey,
thanks, Amelia.
Hey, thanks a bunches.
I'm like, this girl is coming up with a different way
to be kind.
And friendly.
Where am I?
And when can I move here?
You're in Boston.
You're in Boston, where everyone is friendly.
Also, I've seen Frazier Crane like 10 times the sort of thing.
It's like, there's Frazier Crane.
Um, so you guys were actually really, really psyched.
This is so exciting that this all worked out and that we got to do our second show here at Boston.
And then we got to do the Thursday show.
Because if we didn't have this Thursday show,
then we probably would not be covering Vanderpump Rules.
But we are here to do that.
And we are, this is the first time we've ever done a live show
where we get to recap Vanderpump Rules.
And was not this week's episode just truly amazing.
So good.
It has not this season been truly amazing.
I mean, it's a sign from God.
We got the one where he's like,
is that my phone?
I need that.
That is the one.
I was like, it's gonna be a mess.
That was like the button on the trailer, and we got it this week.
We got it.
Yeah, normally before these shows, you know, just working together and being friends so many
years, it's like, be quiet.
So I've learned to kind of go through my 20 pages of notes for at least the live show and kind of
grid it out, not this time, girl.
I sat down.
I sat down this time.
I was like, there is nothing I'm going to talk about
lumpy ponytails for 20 minutes on a gubapak.
I don't care.
Yeah, we were like, listen, we got a show.
We got a live show to do.
And it's just an epic, amazing episode of Interpop Rules.
So we went and we took lots of notes.
We're like, we want to just dive into this show
because we got a few hundred people here
and I think we all want to like...
Lump and have a joint Vanderpump rules experience.
So, first thing, um, Lumpy Ponytails.
I mean, I warned you. Like, you see how I have build up?
But then it pays off two seconds later.
Yeah. Everyone has a Lumpy Ponytail.
Everyone they said, Ginaina, there's lumps.
There's lumps all over her head.
Kristen, lumps. I mean, Katie, we figured.
But everybody, I was like, is that a thing?
Is there like, Lice going around this cast?
It's like little, little ice.
Actually, I think the answer is yes.
Is there Lice going around the cast of Antipompu rules
most likely? Yes.
The Lice are like, yay, they're back. It's like going to sandals resort for the lights
We're like packing their bags. They got like a special
Sambal it's like please put a plastic back over your head and seal it so nobody else gets this
I'm just I'm like so excited to be talking about this
Previously, oh in case you didn't notice Ryan and I brought some vanilla and balloons look we know what I'm just I'm like so excited to be talking about this Previously, oh in case you didn't notice Ryan and I brought some vanilla envelopes look we know it a
Manila some authority
We know it's not really Manila, but we would like to thank Ben and everybody here at this theater for coming through on last minute
Rider requests. Yeah, like folders. I would like to thank the sound guy Reed's girlfriend for forcing him to watch Band of Pump Rules.
And also everyone else's boyfriend slash husband who's here.
Oh, yeah, we always have to, we always have to give a mention
to the straight guys he got dragged along to this mess.
For example, James Kennedy, just kidding.
Yeah.
So it opens up to the previously unfounded pump rules.
And James is like, all right, I've got Nadir.
Because now he's got like a new English accent
for like every episode.
Like sometimes he's cockney.
He's like Act 1 versus Act 2, Eliza D. Little,
my favorite.
It's like, he's working his way down the country of England
taking up a new accent.
And he finally came up with a catchy name for his night.
But at first it was just a lot of teas and he said it was
See you next Tuesday, but he's like all right. It's the James Kennedy turn it take of it turn around
Chargers and tiaras turn up true
Tap away
Practor choke you
Drift tumbobo telephone tata party
But you understand I'll be watching you Mr. Kinnick
It's like why do you fix the name first? Yeah, fix the name then James. Yeah
So by the way, this is vodka. This is water judge lightly. Okay, look I'm being good. I'm being good. Yeah, yeah
So yeah, so the episode opens up and oh yeah, I'm being good. I'm being good. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.
So the episode opens up.
Oh, yeah.
I'm so sorry.
No, this could be like us all night long.
We told each other before and we're like, listen,
this could be so detailed.
It's just to be one of those nights to say, wait, before you go on.
Yeah.
That's going to be just one of these things.
I'm sorry.
But I love noticing new things in the opening,
because he's got time to watch that shit every time right me but
This time and it was very fitting for what's happening in the episode
Jackson Brittany and his other person with them and the opening were they're like
Stasi oh stasi. Yeah, so
Jack's is doing this with a shot and it's kind of towards Brittany, but he's like this
It's like there is so much that you don't understand until it actually happens on the show.
Does anyone else, by the way, listen to that opening credits song a lot?
Because I have it in my eye just like right all the time.
I'm like, you do.
What are the words?
It's like the words are dumb.
There's things like weird weird people in a place and we're happy
No, they're not they're really if they are just seal your head again just take the plastic bag and it
This is not good. We saw a big tray of salt and peppers last night
and I was like, Katie would be hiding behind that right now.
These are not the best days of your life.
Yeah.
I hope.
God bless you.
So the episode actually opens up exactly
where we left off last week.
It was very like Karate one, Karate Kid Part One,
Karate Kid Part Two, where it was literally,
we're in the same party, the housewarming party. For those of you who missed last week's episode for some reason.
Shame on you, get out.
Shame on you.
Lala has just dropped a bombshell that that faith had recorded Jack's poised coil-tall,
talking about things and coil-tall.
Did I say it right?
I said something strange.
Oh, it's coil-tall.
No, it's not that from Katie.
I got him Katie. Damn it Katie I said some strange. Oh it's coitle. No it's coitle. Why? I got that from Katie. I got him Katie. I got him Katie. Damn it Katie.
It's not Katie.
Anyway, it's a post coitle recorded.
Katie's too classy to say after fucking.
Yeah and after fucking, after fucking voice memo on the iPhone.
So, uh, if you haven't fucked over voice memos yet.
So Ariana. Let me do that again.
Let me do that again. Let me do that again
Yeah, yeah fucking over voice
So so Ariana and Lala like should we bring Brittany over? Okay, let's bring her over and so they bring over Brittany and
Ariana's like listen, I don't want to force you to hear something you don't want to hear And you can just tell Britney is already very confused by the double negative like I don't want to hear something I don't want to force you to hear something you don't want to hear. And you can just tell a brand new is already very confused by the double negative.
Like, I don't want to hear something, I don't want to hear.
Huh.
Let's just party.
She's like, I love this song.
No, your boyfriend's cheating on you.
She says, I'm doesn't have the answer to that.
So that's Shazam.
So then, Ariana's like, I'm just really feeling very fucking
fucked up.
Whatever.
I'm like, this is like the model of the show.
It's just really fucking fucked up.
It's really like, really, really, really fucked up.
But she's like a pink lady doing it.
Because her and Lala are both wearing those leather pink jackets.
And they're like, down by their jacket, you know, John by their elbows or whatever.
So like, I've read it, I've read it, I've read it, I've read it, I've read it.
Okay, now just to set the scene, we're on a patio, they insisted this is West Hollywood.
I'm sweaty with the valley.
I mean, I've seen no proof that this is West Hollywood, but they're insisting.
So on the railway, this is so Brittany's house. It's a candle in a coffee cup.
You know, one of those, like dollars.
Very Tory emails, I feel like.
There is a discount bottle of Tito's
or whatever next to it.
And there's a bird house next to it.
I'm like, what kind of neighbors are you in Los Angeles?
You're going to kill the people below you.
And the birds. There's four items. I mean, kill the people below you. And the birth.
With other store items.
I mean, Tito's this great.
It's here.
But otherwise, who wants to die from Britney's fucking
candle in a cup in a earthquake?
There's some drunk bird somewhere.
That's right, I think that bird house.
I was like, fuck it.
I like this railing.
Some drunk bird fucking someone
if her voice man lives.
So Britney listens to the recording.
We saw a little bit of this last week,
but Brittany listens to the recording,
and she tells us what she hear.
She's like,
Jax is talking to this girl,
saying he doesn't want kids,
he doesn't want marriage.
I'm like, what recording is this?
Were you watching like seasons one through five? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I said he hasn't had sex with me in a long time.
I'm stinking man.
So she's like, I gave you my, oh, oh, oh.
Like I like that Britney can make multiple syllables.
That is simple words, you know.
I gave you my, oh, what is that?
Mark and Saw.
Like your old bread-of-filter, like some paper towels.
Like what did you, you gave him nothing, okay?
You gave him a free pad of a lamb and a spin-off show.
And a terrible mother almost in law.
Yeah.
So she's, by the way, we should also mention,
everyone's like wasted.
You can tell that they're wasted.
They're all slowing their words, they're all like, no.
So Brittany, I guess the phone,
and she runs into the living room where Jack's in the bros,
they're all like, bro and now.
And she's like,
That's compony! That's compony!
That's compony!
They were literally saying that.
And she's like,
J.X., I'm gonna put this voice recording
from Faith over the entire spaker!
Girl, can you imagine watching Britney try
and get a Google Home to work?
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
What's her name?
I forgot.
Hey, this is how we...
Jack, were you sticking with Alexa?
No, don't say that.
Do not say her name.
People get so upset.
Oh yeah.
Stop setting off my...
Amissa.
People are in abusive relationship with Alexa.
We can't even mention her name.
Don't talk about Alexa.
Amissa, stop abusing me.
So, like, hey, buy this book on tape.
Amissa, they're like, dammit.
Amissa is a brightening.
All of our audience is brightening.
Yeah, Alexa.
Now, I don't know what do you guys have about this,
but I thought Jackson's reaction was a little weird
because his reaction wasn't like,
like, what are you talking about?
His was like, Brittany, why would you do that?
Why would you do that? It's not like a weird reaction if someone says they're
gonna play like a voice like a voice memo of you talking shit
I'm gonna put it on the spiger phone all over the spaker the spiger I pet
don't forget to say can't even a coffee cup
So I learned a type I can get it all down
So immediately oh well my favorite written me
She's not
I gave you paper towels with multiple colored home sweet home written on it.
I gave you my plastic target bag that I paint and sense for when I didn't bring my own tone.
I gave that to you.
That's unbreakable unlike my truss.
So all the guys are like, like Tom Tandeball is was like, ooh, he's rolling. He's rolling. He's shocked.
Jack's like, get gas in the cooler.
Yeah.
We're riding the fuck outta here.
Well, that was amazing.
Did you see the way that Tom Schwartz and like,
I don't know who else,
but they like ushered Jacks out of the room.
It was like, he was the president
and there was like a false alarm.
And he had to be ushered off stage in the middle of a speech. It was like he was the president and there was like a false alarm. I had to be ushered off stage in the middle of a speech
It was like
It's like a president that someone tries to kill him every day. They're like, oh there he is again
Yeah, Jacks do the Jacks protocol, please. I'm so sorry to you. My butt crack is so I feel the air on my butt crack our
Sage Madras over there is flashed in the stage manager, and she's a lady.
So, Drona is trying to be appropriate.
Not appropriate, you know, in a hotel,
you have those big mirrors in the bathroom.
I see myself in my underwear a lot.
I don't need that, okay?
At my house, I have this mirror in the bathroom.
This one, that's all.
I'm like this and gorgeous in my mind.
I don't need some hotel, me or fucking with,
me telling me the dream.
Yeah.
Thank you, by the way, for that impromptu vogueing
that you just did with your mirror.
I'm like, I just have to have faith, faith, faith.
You got it, right?
It's not the right song for that.
So, Jackson's riding an ice box and running into walls
because he's drunk. And Tom's like, whoa, Jack's is like riding an ice box and like running into walls because he's drunk.
And Tom's like, whoa, don't do that. Don't do that, Ariana bro, don't do it.
And Ariana's like, Tom, shut your mouth.
Damn.
He's like, don't do that.
Shut your fucking mouth, Tom.
So he's like, whoa.
God, never has emotional abuse been so gorgeous. So then, so then the Taco Bell, Kevin, God, never has emotional abuse been so gorgeous.
So then, so then the Taco Bell Covent, God, there's random, by the way, I think we have
to eternally thank Ronnie if we're coming up with a Taco Bell Covent, because that's
like my favorite special.
And by the way, where is the, oh, I see it, there's a Taco Bell sweatshirt right over there.
We got a, from Buffalo, she and her mom came in from Buffalo, drove from Buffalo, and
now she's running the Taco Bell sweatshirt.
She's standing, she's taking a victory lap.
So, they're doing this thing where they're
covening around, but the girls all circle around,
Brittany.
Yeah, protective spirit.
Hey, you, hey, you right now, you, hey, you, hey, you.
And this, what is your goddamn name?
And James starts going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what the fuck are you all girls doing?
What the fuck you're doing? Like James shut up because he goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, girls.
I was like, that's his new song. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, girls.
Girls. Like there's no sensible rhythm to it.
It's like the white Kanye West with breaking boundaries having a 10 beat, okay?
Three quarter time, four times, six five times, girls.
He's a pizza she had, he will never giant.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what we've been telling you for like three years now, Bernie
So James James is drunk to you obviously. I mean that so he's like why are you letting a talk like that?
Like why are you letting a talk like that? She's such a nice girl
And Dossie's like I'm here too
But before
But before that happens though, when James is like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10, girls, Lala just goes, God forbid women stand together.
So James is like, so he's sort of off to the side and then bringing his like, and go listen
to full recording now.
And Lala goes, I don't wanna press play,
I want you to do that.
I'm like, she's not carrying the ring into mortar.
I mean, she's like, here, you press play on the iPhone.
It's a very special moment.
And Jeremy, by the way,
Ariana's brother was cracking me up
because he's sitting there the entire time,
like, that's...
I feel like he's, like embodies a young Stevie next. Like, he kinda looks like this. I feel like he's... Embody, he embodies a young Stevie Necks.
Like he kinda looks like her.
He's like, why am I here?
It's like Stevie Necks just got placed
into this busboy's body and she's like, Meeee't want to press the client. I want you to do it.
It was a good thinker pose.
It was the full thinker pose. It was like this dramatic and seen.
Thank you.
So basically then they tell us what they hear on the recording,
which is like nothing surprising, you know how Jackson
pretty having that sex.
Ages and he's telling Faith that, you know, like,
he likes her but not like that anymore.
And Faith is awesome, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
It all sounds like people probably hear us in the bagel shop.
Oh wow.
Wow, it's like cut from girl to girl.
Well, first of all, shut up, Kristen.
Who asked you?
Why aren't people even videotaping you still?
Get out of here.
OK, now's where we start intercutting.
And this is where I get trouble for not grating minutes.
Because I'm like, what's up?
I will guide you through.
If you get that.
Did this have what minute are we? It's like, it all happens into this shop. No, I just did the same thing. I was like, wait, I thought trouble for not grating minutes. Because I'm like, what's up? I will guide you through if you get that. You just have what minute are we,
it's like, two minutes into this.
No, I just did the same thing.
I was like, wait, I thought this happened at minute 55
and then I realized this thing happened
multiple times over the course of the episode.
Oh, it's because I was like, wait a minute.
Lala's being a total fucking hypocrite again.
How's that possible?
I am very pro-lala.
I am very pro-lala.
What?
God forbid women try and stick up for each other. I'm sick of these men being able to do whatever they want.
I'm like, you're fucking like some guy,
like, who left his family for you?
What are you talking about?
And I don't care.
I stand by it.
And now she's saying, hold on, she's like,
the way he can, like, her jacket down,
she's like, the way he can lay up with a girl
who's not his girlfriend.
Disgust me.
That's true.
That is true. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. like her jacket down. She's like, the way he can lay up with a girl who's not his girlfriend?
Discuss me.
That's true, that is pretty questionable.
I mean, like, if you're disappointed the bitch didn't get
a Range Rover, that I'm behind, okay?
Just say that so I can root for you again.
I'll tell you what I'm not behind.
When we cut back over to Katie and Schwartz's apartment,
where Jack's has been ushered over to,
there's like a shot of the Bubba Art,
which the Bubba Art is like the worst, right?
Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba.
The black canvas with Bubba is repainted,
but here's one thing, it actually makes you not realize
there's an equally awful thing next to it.
And I don't really have a punchline for it,
it's just like shocked me.
It was something like, no.
There is an inverted, fluted candlestick
with an Edison bull with a bottom
and an extension cord hanging down from it.
Next to the Bubb Art.
I'm like, what is happening in this apartment?
I can't even do a little bit right now.
I like the full on grown from down there.
Yeah.
The front row does not accept it.
It does not accept an inverted, fluted candle stick
with an Edison bulb and a cord.
Because it was a special show.
I was like, I'm going to try and write down
what's on this chalkboard.
Have you ever read that?
Yeah.
I have.
Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh.
It says BB. There's a lot of BBs, because you know, BB is an internet slang for BB. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, I'll just put it on mute. That was my friend Richard Tamayo texting something. And probably about Beyonce.
Heart, three hearts.
He said, uh, no, those are three peaches, actually.
Oh, Christ, thank you.
I'm also one of the booty.
Also, let's welcome the new member of the family,
this gorgeous new computer of Benz.
Oh, yes.
Look, his apple is fucking with that apple over there.
My apple is like the jacks of the apples right now
in this room. And apple is like the jacks of the apples right now in this room.
And Ron is the Brittany.
I'm very happy.
I gave you everything.
He did.
So speaking of old people.
Well, I was born with.
Speaking of old people, Jack says,
I did what we're supposed to do.
I get that I'm wrong.
I'm wrong.
But like I told her, we're gonna keep this between us, right?
Like I did when I'm supposed to do it, like he's a victim.
And then you see Tom, number one, he's going like this.
I mean, Jack says so foolishly that Tom's Botox isn't working.
He's like this.
If I call song.
So we will probably be getting to this point
multiple times over the course of the episode,
because Jack says this thing multiple times
where he is like, I wanted this to be between you and me,
like me, like you and me, Brittany.
And here's the thing, A, you're on a TV show,
so it's automatically not between you two.
And B, when you cheat, you do not get to make up
the rules of the reconciliation.
I'm sorry.
You do not get to decide how she reconciles with you, okay?
Look, if you're gonna fuck somebody, don't fuck somebody to work at your girlfriend's
work.
Does a bear shit in the woods?
He does.
As we learned from a housewife show, what was that?
Oh, Peggy from Real Housewives of Orange County.
She's like, where else does, where else does a bitch sit?
Who is this bear?
Who is this shit?
Point taken, Peggy.
Delete.
Delete.
Delete.
No ball in house, go.
No ball in house.
No ball in house.
No ball in faith, Jack.
No ball in faith.
She really, she really tried.
Not really. So guess what She really, she really tried.
Not really.
So guess what Tom, Sam, uh, two.
Guess what Tom, that we're doing.
He's like, oh, it's me, man.
Yeah, let's go get some alcohol.
He gets jacks attack, oh, like, it's like, here, drink this.
This will bring you back to life.
Yeah.
Like, he's just been pulled out of a freezing lake. The other one who just like got caught cheating,
and so he would never drink again.
You know what, God, being a judgmental horrible human being
really feels good in this.
Yeah. Like, this show just gives me everything I need.
I leave here like, I am doing.
I love it.
I get to start giving money to orphan.
Just kidding.
I turn nice all this.
It's like a miracle.
So yeah, so Jack's just sitting there with Tom.
And then it's like the big trailer moment.
He's just sitting there and just sort of slurring and getting angry.
He just picks up this phone in front of me and just throws it against the wall.
Well, he gets mad because Tom's like, I'm gonna get some alcohol on Jackson's really.
Really, is that a joke?
Is that a joke?
Pfft.
He's like, oh, sorry.
Is that a joke?
I'm like, f**k.
I think there's like a pregnant pause.
And then, which is, you shouldn't say that around Jackson,
but there's still a pause.
And Tom, Tom shorts like, wait, is that my phone?
I need that.
It's not your phone.
It's not your phone, Tom.
Jack's getting so mad that Tom thinks it's his phone.
He's like, it's not your phone!
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud.
From the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle
between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly
innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown,
alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and
the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out.
Back in the girls party, poor Brit, you know, I really like Brit.
I know that a lot of people do, a lot of people do, whatever.
I love her. And I love that a lot of people do, a lot of people do, whatever. I love her.
And I love that she doesn't even try and learn worse.
She's just like,
Fuck you!
Stay in my age and fuck you, you're rocking it, you're...
Not, not, not.
It's like everything she's screaming is like, bad, bad, not.
And she's like,
You fucking bitch, you're like a bump on log
and you're gonna get sanded down.
I'm gonna go.
It's like just saying,
she don't even know what these things are making me sense.
This screaming complete.
Super rich.
So this is where James is like,
I can't believe you guys are gonna let a pretty girl like her
say those words to anyone that's been sausage like James,
shut up, shut up, AF, shut up.
I just, I touched off no idea what she's feeling like right now. I'm like neither
to you because everybody believes her ass. That poor thing went through a whole year.
Even me. Oh no, Jackson's telling the truth. What a horrible person this does. He's like
right the whole time. So that's when James is like, while you let
him Britney speak like that,
because Britney is a sweet heart.
And then Britney gets up and is like,
Oh, the fuck is she talking about?
You fucking old, look at the fuck out of here!
Shut up, you were in the maniacs, son of a bico!
Like, what are you even talking about?
And he literally ran out of the apartment,
pass the friend's frame on the people.
He did, I think someone at the bottom of the stairs is like, you're still on the show. Then they come with the friends, the moment the friends
thing that's not centered properly. And then they cut to Kristen and Carter like embracing.
They just witnessed the Hindenburg crash like
called me he's like kissing he's like this he's like I choose like this
seriously seriously is all too real oh my god I can't believe Jack's cheated
uh remember fucking him on the couch while you're his best enemy.
Well Tom was in the next room.
So then Brittany, in the middle of all this craziness,
oh, someone just dropped something.
Oh, are you OK?
Sorry.
OK.
She's good.
Our audience members are troopers.
They will get back up when they drop something.
So anyway, so in the middle of all this,
like, consolation, Britney just,
like, just party, let's just party.
Katie's like, Katie's like,
they're all, okay, like, also because we're alive,
I can finally do this.
This is Katie's face at all times.
Like, no matter what's happening, it could be Christmas.
There could be a new baby in the, it don't matter.
She's just like,
Ronny, I find that to be a convenient narrative.
Post-quital.
Post-quital?
She's like, they're all at my place now.
I was gonna say we could go there.
Yeah, that's much better.
Your place is much there's a chalkboard.
Like what's the difference?
And Lala's like, no, we are here.
You have a bomb ass apartment.
It's bomb.
Ba-ba-ba.
And Ariana's like, yeah, like we literally have
the artichoke dip.
All the fellow shots.
All of them.
She's right.
She's right.
If we thought about it, we would have like coordinated, like people to come out to the doors with our choked up for everyone here, but the best we could do with these Manila and her hips.
Alright, I'm running it down. Auto choked up at talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you.
I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going, Ronnie. Well, good. Someone else has harmed your laptop.
Ronnie, it's like, look at this.
And I touched my screen.
Oh.
The laptop's little like three days old.
I think it's a bad thing.
And it was like, boop.
And he's like, I see your finger in my laptop.
On my, you know, you guys know it is when you get,
you just want like a week of it looking amazing
and feeling like, you know what,
I can take care of this thing.
Why pay it down?
I've already spat on it.
You should know better if you're around me.
Everybody here is gonna have fingerprints on them
by the time they leave.
I can never kill anybody.
They'll find my ass in two seconds on the sea.
You don't even need seaside.
This old school fingerprint tape.
That's all you need with me.
So James walks into the other apartment where Jackson,
and he comes and he's like,
God, Jackson, look at me.
And everyone in the apartment goes like,
James, just chill the fuck out, dude, shut up, James.
You don't want to hear me.
You doing this to me, huh?
You're gonna do this to me.
This is how you do me, man.
He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now just get out.
He's like, look at me.
Look at me, Jackson.
Look at me straight in the eye, my God.
These two are both gonna,
both of them cross-eyed sober.
So, so, so, Jacks just saying this,
the relationship is done. It's done.
It's not like, thank God. Just please end it.
Because you're an asshole and she deserves better.
Yeah.
When did Jacks' head get shaped like this?
Has it always been shaped like this?
Yeah, whatever shape it is, that's what you're up.
I feel like he's a baby that you leave on its side too much.
Yeah.
And then you're like, I'm gonna switch it,
but I don't want it to have sads or whatever.
So you don't put it on the back.
You put it on the other side.
Sads.
Sads.
Well, I don't want to have sads, so instead I grow up with sads.
I'm like, I'm excited for the sads!
Sads is just sids in British. Sads! Well, I don't want to have Sid so instead I grew up with Sad. I think he died of the SADS stunning.
Sad's just Sid's in British.
SADS!
Sudden apathy is in on a...
Sudden apathy, but it's like this.
You're like this.
He does have Sudden apathy.
It's like a cone head. It's like a speed bump.
It's like a bump.
It's a little trapezoidal.
What do they all wear on you? A bumper, a bump it.
It's like he has a Yamaka on, but underneath the scalp.
But then the title wrong place.
He would wear a Yamaka like that, like one year.
It's interior Yamaka.
Anyway, just here for the second time.
So, since James is just feeling like, you're 40 jacks.
So James, no one wants James around.
So as he's leaving, he's like, just so you know,
Lala and Arianna, Lake the audio.
Goodbye.
I'm like, oh yeah, look into that.
I'll look into that, bro.
I'm disgusted by it, honestly.
How could you do this, bro?
Bro.
I think you're only doing this.
Yeah, after hours and hours of drinking, why didn't she use her judgment? Do this, bro. Oh. Are you ready to do this?
After hours and hours of drinking,
why didn't she use her judgment?
I'm like, because there's hours and hours of drinking.
LAUGHTER
Are you not out of a fucking mind?
Long on.
So, Ariana is out of her mind because she actually
comes over to the boys' apartment.
Well, she ain't going to let Horace Faye's do it alone,
because it's Kristen with her. Oh, yeah.
On the show too. Let's go. She's always just running into
the middle to sit. Huh? Okay,
just with it was Katie in it was Kristen though with her,
right? I know that it was Kristen and Ariana, right? Yeah,
okay. Sorry you couldn't hear that at home audience but you know
it's guidance. Yeah we're getting we're getting some some helpful tips from
the front row thank you very much. Okay he suggested it. He suggested it. I'm
staying with the artichoke dip but ice spur to put out that fire.
He took the ice for chest.
The ice for chest car.
So they go over that Kristen marches in,
but Kristen keeps marching into situations they don't let her talk.
She's like, hey, guess what?
And Ariana's like, yeah, fuck you guys.
She never gets to talk.
So when Ariana walks in, Jack's his first thing he does
is he's like, why?
Why would you do that to me, Ariana?
Why would you do that to me?
Why would you do that to me?
I'm like, you're such a fucking narcissist
that you thought this was something that was like,
you were the victim here, okay?
You're not the victim here.
Why don't you ask that question when you slip with faith?
How about that?
To Brittany, to yourself, about Brittany.
You know?
But this is, I mean, these two,
every argument must be this exact same thing.
I didn't do anything.
It was brought to me, shut your mouth, Tom.
And then he's like, that's your judgment?
That's your judgment?
Judgment?
That's it? That's your judgment?
I can't believe it.
You waited for the right moment?
I feel like I'm getting like Erica Jane all of a sudden.
Dude.
It's Lama's phone.
You waited for the right moment.
Dude, what are you talking about waiting for the moment?
You waited judgment.
Judgment, that's your judgment.
He's like, so you approach Brittany?
And she's like, I was on the balcony.
I remember a candle in a cup,
and I remember a bar of ass.
What do you want from me?
She's like, you're being so, and he's like, what?
So what?
She goes, dude, I'm juice right now.
He's like, what does that mean?
Look at me, I'm Sandra D. Motherfucker.
He's like, what?
That's your judgment?
Judgment will beyan Newton, John?
Ugh.
I do.
He's just fully gaslighting her.
Gaslighting gaslighting.
I'm paying, what is it?
Gaslighting.
OK.
This is so convenient having people to correct us.
And she's just now losing her mind.
Because he's like, it was on your phone.
She's like, it's not on my phone.
It's not on my phone.
But, look, Nees Flash.
Kristen said something. She's like, it's But look, knees, knees flash. Kristen said something.
She's like, it's your fault, Jack!
Thank you.
Oh, she's not wrong.
Thank you.
And then the scene ends with Jeremy on,
he's now sitting out, he's moved over,
and he's just sitting on the couch like,
do I tell people I'm Stevie Nicks?
But I'm really comfortable right now.
I'm just sitting here.
I love shells, I love shells. This is like, are you on this show? I'm really comfortable right now. I'm just like, I love Charles.
I love Charles.
Listen, like, are you on this show?
I'm on the edge of the couch.
I'm at for you.
She's like, for what?
Judgement.
And she's like, thanks a lot.
Dick.
Yes.
Like, bow on my dick.
Yeah.
Ariana taking her prop work seriously.
I remember one time doing that to my brother when I was a kid.
I got so mad at him and I was like,
I was like, fine.
And I went to slam the door, but somehow I got a bad grip on it.
So close very softly. So I went back and I door, but somehow I got a bad grip on it. It's a close very softly.
So I went back and I go, I mean, and I walked back
and I did it again.
It's like there.
I used to love slamming my door.
My parents took the door off the hinges
because I kept going, like, thank you, mom.
That's very freaky Friday of you.
Yeah.
So I would sell me that, thank you, mom.
Oh, whoa. Just make noise anyway.
Just make noise anyway.
Yeah, sure told me.
Yeah.
Oh, Ronnie, get your menila folder.
Because now we go to Lisa van der Pumsoffis.
Business, business, charts, Sangria.
Peter, Peter, give me a moment. This charts, Sangria. Peter!
Peter gives me a moment.
Have we cleaned those rosé glasses yet?
She's like, it's not a phone, Lisa, okay?
Hello, Amissa.
I see I'm supposed to be here with Teddy in six minutes. I
Worry about traffic though
Well Peter's got some damn nerve, okay?
First of all poor Peter for always having to be here
I've never really getting apart. They're're like, Peter, show up to shoot.
For no reason, we'll never let you...
So soon.
She's like in a stage play as usual, setting up the scene,
so no one's confused.
He's watching it, huh? She's like,
James is going to meet me today.
He wants to take it up a notch, Peter. And James is like,
holler, Lisa is me James.
And she's like, here he is.
Toke of the devil.
And Peter is like, you mean speak of the devil.
Get out!
I'm sorry, I don't see that phrase here.
I'll script in the Manila filter.
Hmm.
Born in England.
Born in a trash heap get out.
I'm seeing something about James enters in a pirate's shirt.
Oh yes, yes, very good.
So James enters and he's like, how are you Lisa?
How are you?
He's like, remember James Kennedy turned up Tuesday and he's like, yes I do.
Of course we're going to turn it up on Tuesdays.
How much have you put into taco tractor to kill a Taco Bell Tuesday, James?
Tell them, Mundo, tell them, baby, tapatio Tuesdays.
Have you made a poster yet?
Have you made a poster yet? Hehehehe
Hehehehe
And Peter's like, you mean speak of the devil?
Get out of here, sweat stain muffin' top, get out!
Get out!
Who's sweat stains through a sweater?
Get him out!
Hehehehe
So, it is so rude, because you know my asshole, sweat stain.
He's a nice, by the way, Peter.
I'm a hip, but Chris, I don't even care. And Peter's the nicest one.
If you guys ever go to LA and you go to Sur,
he's like, you could always be guaranteed
to see Peter there, because he's really working.
And he has to say hi and take pictures
with every single person, and he's really, really nice.
I mean, here we are, shitting on him.
He hates me.
But I was like, you work?
Like, you actually work here, and he's like,
ah, okay, can I have some more water? It's just, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, better. James Kennedy presents See You Next Tuesday.
Ah, ah, ah.
And I also spelled it C. Say, you know, it's not BLEEEE.
I know what BLEEEE is. I'm not that old.
But do you get it Lisa? It's every other Tuesday. It's Sir.
So it's See You Next Tuesday. It's a promotion and a joke.
I'm not just born yet today.
I know what a vagina is.
It's a totally new thing.
Also, she's like, I'm not kind.
I'm sorry.
Not anywhere.
I know.
I'm not as old as I look.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
So they show.
Oh, so she's like, oh, damn it. Why don't we keep stopping you. I have nothing to old as I look sorry. So they show, she's like, oh, Tammy,
why don't we stop him, I have nothing to say.
It's okay, it's okay.
Get yourself oriented, it'll be fine.
So basically he's like, this is Maka O'Break
at Pajayam's Kennedy of Wake, no.
And then he's, so then they show like a footage of him
like two days earlier handing out flyers
on Santa Monica Boulevard.
And he goes up to people, he's like,
beautiful girls, see you next Tuesday.
See you next Tuesday, beautiful girls, see you next Tuesday.
I'm like, you're calling all of them cut fitnesses.
Why would they ever go to your bed?
Also, I love that that's his making and effort.
He's like, I've been up and down the boulevard,
like a hookah.
I'm like, you're in front of prom.
Yeah.
He's like, beautiful girls. This is what they do on Hollywood Boulevard in front of Pum. Yeah. He's like, beautiful girls.
This is what they do on Hollywood Boulevard
in front of the strip clouds.
They're like, beautiful girls.
Beautiful, I mean, smaller, you know.
Beautiful girls.
Don't bend my vanilla envelope,
it has business in it.
It's a list of all my favorite broken beds.
So Vanderputt may still be looking at blank ledgers or trapper keepers or photo
books, whatever the fuck she's looking at, but she is really trying to up her
office game props. Okay, here's what I counted. On her computer screen, which is
like a doll from 20 years ago. It's like this dick. Like this dick. Do you like my
compact computer? Get me the television from Max's room.
Excuse me, I'm trying to reboot my Tandy.
Jessica, that is.
You get it.
So it says start.
I'm sure that Lisa's sitting there
like going through the serve website.
Behind that, there's five cams of air,
Windex, and then there's a pick collage, like one of those like target picture collages,
where you put in different pictures, and every face is blurred out.
No one would sign the release to be in this office scene. It's real. This office in his street, real.
It's all the people who know Adrian
will leave steepest secrets.
That's right, I call back to seven years ago on Beverly Hills.
And also a gift for you, a fax machine.
Oh, Lisa.
fax it.
fax it.
Run over my fax number.
Where do you go down the street? So then James starts telling Lisa about the house for me and everything that went down
He's like, you know that jack's banged faith and she's like, yes, yes, yes
I know and so he he's like telling her about the recording and he's like
He's like and then Brittany was just like
At least a van orfum space is like,
what a hilarious impersonation!
Deri introduced comedy knight to sir!
It's like three-zacroud was brought back
to the forefront of popular culture,
right in front of my face. Spininn off a three-s company, young ones.
Yeah, your mom watched it.
So James is like, I got back to the apartment and Jackson did it.
I'd be like,
Oh, what he was.
Yeah, I mean, that impersonation was really good.
Yeah, that was good.
And Lisa goes, what?
Doing sit-ups.
I don't think that's happening a while. Could you ask him to tell Peter how to do this? Here,
Faxit to Peter, darling. Take this open open. Run Faxit down to Peter.
Neither one that's working downstairs. My envelope synchronizes with the Fax machine.
My envelope synchronizes with the fax machine. Peep, boop, boop, boop, beep.
LAUGHTER
But something actually very... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, two out of two pages. So stupid.
Something important.
Something important did actually happen.
I think something important happened.
In the middle of this, James just kind of
emits something a little crazy.
Do you want to do the honors?
Well, he's like, I actually stole it off of a face phone.
I went to the bathroom. I took the phone and I sent it to myself.
Oh!
Wow.
So, um, one of our, one of the listeners this year, Heather, sitting right here in the front.
She, uh, she came and told us that she was listening to another podcast where Faith was
a guest.
Found her pub, rules party.
Found her pub, rules party.
Everyone go subscribe to them. Congratulations on Pump, rules party. Founder Pump, rules party.
Everyone go subscribe to them.
Congratulations on beating us on iTunes.
Bitches!
She's getting a made-series-like Congrats.
But apparently Faith was on there,
and I guess, according to Heather, that Faith didn't actually,
people are like, why isn't Faith on the show?
Faith doesn't actually want to be on the show, which
was the faith. Right. But it would make sense if James stole the recording to be on the show, which could have been.
Right.
But it would make sense if James stole the recording
and Faith doesn't want to be on the show,
then I can see her not like giving the consent
to the producers to play in, which maybe why we didn't hear it.
Yeah, exactly, that is a bullshit.
I listen, don't shoot the messenger.
What'd you say?
Yeah, why did she do she pregnant on the show?
We still have not heard enough day of the first episode recording of the season. I'm sure we have still yet to hear an update on the clear blue easy front so
She has, yeah. Well, we'll see.
You know what, this all this like booing faith,
you go girl, I mean, look,
it's called going to a job fair
and making a goddamn effort in line.
I mean, it's not like she's lying about fucking jacks.
The girl invited him over to the old ladies
next door neighbor house or whatever.
But Tim, then recorded it.
I mean, if that's not making an effort I don't know what is.
Listen, I think, listen, I think I think recording that was the smartest thing she ever did
because you know in this show if she didn't have that recording they would have torn,
it was only a matter of time before it was all getting turned around. Later in the episode
I think Kate even calls her like this crazy witch faith. So like she needed to have that otherwise
she'd just have her entire reputation dismantled of whatever there was of it
Hey guys
Vala is a she knows house that's actually interesting like
She's so cute. Hey, she's you.
Oh my God, you're so white-feet-out right now.
I'm like, you know this is the house that she left
her husband in, right?
It says, it's in a place.
And she's got a free trade from Rouse Out,
which, hey, ain't judging it.
Just noticing it.
And she's like, oh my God, long.
It's like the only male I don't cock.
The box-foss.
I don't cook breakfast. It's the one male I don't cock. I'm a box-foss. I don't cook breakfast.
It's the one male I don't cock.
So I got some fron bagels.
And Ariana goes, I put a cinnamon raisin bagel in the toaster
and I'm like, I'll get it.
She's like, mm-hmm.
Yes, you will.
Yeah.
Girl, they need like a lifetime, but the opposite way,
where we can watch the women abuse and stalk the men
with shit like this. like, bagel aggression.
Yeah.
Ariel.
I would.
I would.
I wonder what, um, she, you know, likes to have for breakfast.
I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime gochels.
Oh.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
How are you?
How are you?
How are you? Good. you? How are you?
How are you?
Good, good.
Later in the episode, at the fridge,
our favorite set piece of this thing.
Your aunt was like, hi, and she's like,
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Hi. Hi's apartment. Yes. And she's still got those big couch chairs with the big, big, big, yeah.
The bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar,
they're like, you get the mecosco.
And it's like, it's like,
they're not really bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, It's a beverage. Honestly, I mean, I think they look amazing. I would love it. I hope to someday have a
Furnished basement that I'll put one of those things in. Oh my God, that's so seen of you. I have ambitions.
Jackie, I thought my mouth sounds so small. Only now I don't come. I'm there like sure. And then they put the
mimosas in the thing. It's like these plastic champagne fleets in the thing. I love seeing it. Money can't buy your glass.
So I'm like, guys, she and I have lumps in her ponytail.
I love that. I'm here for Shina.
Shishu.
So someone, I think it's Ariana or Lala's.
Like, I love coming to Shina's house
because I always get a little buzz.
And then Shina does the thing that we're really
loving these days, which is that she giggles.
She goes, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I That's it, right there.
Yeah.
It was like a certain place.
It's not the Madison for a million dollar listing, which is...
It's like...
It's like the sound of her card in Mario Kart.
Like, if she were in Mario Kart, that's what it sound like.
So the song is like, one too many chances I gave you.
This fucking show.
Heck it, things and go.
It's like, okay, so Britney's at her apartment in Hellhole,
putting popcorn in a Ziploc.
Wait, oh, yes.
Well, you skipped a little bit, just a little bit.
Wait.
You skipped Tom going to go, turning to Ariana,
be like, so like, can we talk about that recording?
Because like, I can't believe your judge
would be in the play that after hours and hours
of being drunk.
And Ariana's like, look, I'm just trying to be the best friend
that I can.
And like, I don't know, sometimes I don't do it just right.
Like, that's it, you know? And then she sort of has her shoulder away from I don't do it just right like that's it you know and
then she sort of has our shoulder away from me. Yeah it's more it's more like Ariana abuse this is
because Tom of course Tom you know that every time they get in the car or she's like good morning
he's like what about your judgment like he's never gonna let it go you know he said judgment
every five minutes since that party and so Ariana is like this you know what that really hurts me
like she's sitting like this you get get my shoulder blade. Yeah. That's my favorite
kind of amuse. Then Ronnie, as you were saying, I just I I wanted to say that
because they had started to we had to sabotage this hard to fight. There's a close
up so we're at Jack's Britney's place. There's a close up of a leftover
Bean and Cheese dip in a Pyrox pan. And I was like, this is the perfect visual metaphor
for this relationship.
It's like, kind of gross, kind of over.
Really needs to go in the garbage.
And yet, you know, someone's gonna stick another chip in it, you know?
Yeah.
Pulling out the Pyrex, that's like a five-course dinner at that house.
She's like, oh my god, it's on something that's kind of glass-like.
Gotta clean the China.
Yeah.
Yeah. She's like wondering why the paper plates are like getting soggy into the water.
So she really is putting popcorn in his block, which is so Britney.
Yeah, she has been popcorn in the picture.
I thank you, everything.
It's like a zip lock or like,
still fingerprint covered soggy popcorn.
Cattlecore.
Jack's like, hello.
To that, I mean, here, Colleen.
Did you notice this runny that when Jack's walked in?
Did anyone notice?
Because obviously we were like, we got to take notes on everything.
Did you notice that some of their decor?
They have a giant painting of an octopus.
And they're a giant octopus. Like so many omens. The signs are literally on the wall. A giant octopus.
Like so many omens.
Like the signs are literally on the wall.
Too many hands, he's got too many hands.
You just keep taking, taking, and taking.
He's like, that's the octopus fading.
Yeah.
Sorry, not you.
I gotta feed the octopus with his popcorn now.
You want some popcorn?
She's talking about the Beijing.
Oh, octopus is in Hungary today.
Oh my God, I think we're in like minutes six of this year.
I know.
We're doing a deep dive, it's me and Voktipus.
You know, we're doing a deep dive today.
So this is the crux of the episode.
Guys, wait, it's here, it's here everybody.
She's like, I'm here cleaning and She's like, I'm here cleaning, and he's like,
I have no words.
And she's like, what does that mean?
It's like, of course you don't know what that means.
No words.
She's like, need to do what?
What a quenching dent.
So he's like, oh, that what you pulled.
What you pulled.
Yeah, what is she pulling?
He literally is doing all the pulling.
He literally goes,
you gave me your word as a woman.
Like...
As a woman.
You know you're not a woman, right, Jacks?
You promised me woman, you woman.
You told me in front of the octopus.
You're in front of the friend's in front of the friends frame.
You said it was just gonna be me and you, me and you.
Take responsibility for your actions.
It's like you, what world are you lecturing her
on taking responsibility for your actions?
In what world?
That's a crack of country butter, bro.
You're a friendly country.
Is that give me you primest isn't woman?
She's like, yeah, wait a minute.
You know it's your fault.
He's like, uh-uh, cheers.
She's like, is it?
I'm sorry, wait a minute.
Oh, who left the candle with the cup going?
God damn you, what's that mean to you?
I actually know it.
I mean, I am not very thrilled based on social media
that Jackson, Brittany, are back together. I think it's really disgusting. But I do appreciate that in
these scenes, I do appreciate that in these scenes that she really does stand up for herself
in the way that she should. Because she's like, she's like, you're trying to embarrass
me. And when it was you talking shit about me on the recording, you're trying to embarrass
me. And he goes, it was wrong. It was so wrong in so many ways. And he's not talking about himself, he's talking about her.
He actually goes, yeah, well, I'm not dating the rest of this group.
I was like, you fucked at least.
Yes.
What are you talking about?
Literally the same thing.
The only differences, this is only when dumb enough to pay part of your rent.
I'm assuming that she does.
So meanwhile, over at Sheena's,
Tom and her, and are still fighting,
and you know, like,
Judge Man and Lala's like,
love each other.
Love each other.
Oh my God, Lala.
Hope Haccho proud for there.
Yeah.
Come on guys, can we just love each other?
Okay, Lala.
Yeah.
And then we go back to Jackson Brittany.
You're a dirty human being.
Who has number more say?
And Jackson's doing, this is, I hate this line.
I hate when someone does this.
And he's like, in my house, in my house, like, oh, please,
please, first of all, it's not even your house.
You're renting.
That's a rental.
Yeah.
Second of all, it says much of her places it is yours.
So that's also bullshit.
Just stop.
Just stop, Jackson.
You know, for a few seasons there, we were starting to Jacks. You know, you know, for a few seasons
there, we were starting to get in that mode of, you know, Jacks, he's in Oaf, he's terrible, he's got like,
no moral character, but he's a nice guy, but I'm like, wait a second, no, and I'm remembering,
this is the Jacks from season one and two that we're like, this guy is a poor. What are you talking?
This is a Jacks of every moment of every day. He's just way graced here and more like coneheaded now.
Those are only their friends.
And he has the nerve to say,
you dug below the belt.
You know what I'm talking about.
You dug below the belt.
First of all, you don't take below the belt.
Second of all, you cheated on her.
You slept with another woman.
You dug below the belt.
He's like, ow!
Dug below the belt. So where are we now?
Are we back at pump yet?
Now we're back to Ariana and Tom's fight
as now just fully exploded.
We should just break up.
Now we should just break up.
He's like, oh, that's insulting judgment.
What is this judgment day, judgment?
When was the last time you apologized for anything, Ariana.
She was like, when did anybody like Bob Evans?
It's the one meal I don't actually cook.
You guys, we should ask with that beautiful bride, thanks.
Ladies, lady, you staring at me from the print of cameras on the wall?
But crack, I'm so sorry. Damn it.
Sorry back then.
Yeah, hike him up.
So now I miss mom jeans.
They were I said it.
All right, so now we're here with a new character who I swear to God I thought was Lala.
I was like, I love Lala's new hair.
It's Billy Lee.
Yes.
And she's, you know, she's really good for the show
because she does the perfect hostess impersonation
because no one actually hosts tables there, except like Gigi.
You know, she's the only woman actually has to do it.
Gigi, not to be confused with my love.
But that's not ballet, they.
And she's like, hello, thank you for calling to restaurants.
Thank you.
What time is best for you?
Time is best.
Gay.
Oh my god.
You're working, we get it.
You actually have a job on this show.
Congrats, Billy.
Yeah.
Sheen is also there, by the way.
They just cut to her.
I swear, these producers must watch our podcast
because I feel like they just give us stuff
just because they entertains us. It just gets to She sheenah going we never have a pasta special that sounds good
I thought to lamb
So a lot of cons I read a billy the inch like oh my god
She should look at us look at her legs like gas let lace live on my right
I'm so sick of men trying to take lace away from us.
Lace!
Lace?
She's like, yeah, everyone seems cool, I guess.
Like, I love a couple of other girls.
Like, Katie's not nice.
She's kind of nice.
I mean, here they don't like each other.
She's so right here.
You know, I have to spoil you, but we broke up,
because I'm trans, and he's like one of his own babies.
And I was like, oh my god, your wife and your own babies
was like totally hurtful.
That bitch ain't going to be cut off, OK? and he'd like one of his own babies, and I was like, oh my god, your way around baby's was like totally hurtful. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
That bitch ain't gonna be cut off, okay?
Yeah. That girl knows how to get her eight bars in
in an audition.
Yeah.
It's like I dreamed a dream about time going by.
Thank you.
Thank you.
F-boom.
And Lala loves her, and she's like,
listen, we gotta hang out.
Okay, let me get your number four, we part ways,
and anytime we'll do something, dude.
I was like,
I know you didn't mean it like that,
but you know, Billy was like,
uh-huh, I'm just, I'm new here,
so I'm just gonna like channel my rage
into this system of hosting people here.
It's like when you're finished wiping down those menus,
maybe I'll give you my number.
Try and find me later.
I'll be in the smoking alley.
Lies!
I'm Billy, because you're the only host
I'm like vibing with.
Who else is there?
There's Lauren and Gigi.
You know, it's always Diana.
She's the only one standing back there.
I got them at you.
Diana was there. I don't know if you saw Diana was in the background. only one standing back there. Like, God damn it, here I am again. Diana was there.
I don't know if you saw Diana was in the background of this.
This is what I think.
This is for my 4%.
$50,000.
So then we go across town.
Do you?
Wait, I'm so sorry.
Oh, please.
I know, because this isn't long enough, already.
But I love that Lala's like, I cannot describe
how much I love Bella.
OK?
Like, she's so open.
She embodies everything a woman should be. OK? She has great tips, too. How much I love ballet, okay? Like she's so open. She's so open.
She embodies everything a woman should be, okay?
She has great tips, yeah.
And my face and my exact face.
Like, it's like beyond trans.
It's like tralala.
Tralala.
Tralala.
You're gonna get a girl face, do lala.
It looks good on her.
Yeah.
She changed her hair actually.
She looks good as a brunette.
Why does she have a rat tail?
The question of the audience, why does she have a rat tail?
Why wouldn't she have a rat tail?
They've been for a rat tail right now.
That's why.
It's women standing for women.
So speaking of which, we then go across town where we see
Stasi, Katie, and Schwartz showing up at a speakeasy. This is where Sasi goes,
what's more exclusive than going into a place that doesn't have a sign and it's like
hidden behind a bookshelf. I'm like, that's a cobweb. You're describing a cobweb.
Katie's like, it's like Narnia.
You're not gonna find commoners here.
Yeah. Then you were coming.
You'll find like beavers who get murdered for their beliefs,
but not just regular old humans, dancing.
I questioned the Speakeasy because this Speakeasy
is in the back of the hookal lounge where Resa and Mike
had many scenes on Shaws of Sunset this year.
That's some insider LA knowledge right there.
Secret bookcase, just die.
Like, people are even sick of that and clue.
I'm like, you went through a bookcase,
like when I play a clue, I'm like, that's so obvious.
You do that.
Yeah, we're good for you.
Flames inside of your face, we got it.
So Patrick shows up in his man bun, which I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You guys, I want to have a boner for Patrick.
Like whenever there's a new, like, I don't know,
somewhat silent person of man, I'm like, yes,
I've lived for that on this show.
It never happens, but no.
Yeah, the man owns a problem.
So I have to talk to you.
He's like, whoa, your eyes are glowing.
Provide, man.
Wow, do you get taller?
I don't know what it is.
You make me nervous.
I almost have to tell you that I banged a chick by a hexade
and I didn't know.
I didn't realize, apparently I did it this all.
Sorry, Baba.
What am I saying?
Is in front of this gorgeous man.
Oh.
Tom, like, totally has a man crush?
Like, I actually almost snotted all over the computer.
Tom has like a man crush, like, look what he's wearing.
OK, you would think that he's wearing like a suit.
Yeah. He's wearing some stained cream color,
old Navy shirt with an old Navy jacket.
I've got him both.
So, um, so yeah, Tom's like an olive Patrick.
He's like, wow, you've got your own radio show.
And a man bun like, wow, look at my face.
Okay, this Facebook live, it's Ben's gorgeous face.
Well, because in his computer, and then this is what you see.
OK, if you want, we can move it.
No, no, no.
Oh, I have to plug in the power thing into it, by the way.
I don't know.
I mentioned it before.
Well, because every single time, too much mic and I express.
I know, it's gross.
So every single time we try it over there, you're like, that's not my side. No, no, that's not either
I prefer it. I just thought it was funny. Don't change a thing
So Patrick has a douchebag cuz they're like hey you made it through the bookcase
He's like yeah, like what do you want to drink? And he's like cost of me goes is good
I'm like, I'm sure you hang with George Clooney, bro.
He's like, my friend, George makes the Casa Amigos.
That's good.
I'm like, oh, really?
How's Uncle Tito?
When he knows everybody classy this one.
He's so witty.
Tom's like, I love your wit.
It's so, you're so witty.
And Patrick's like, well, dude.
It's gonna be witty.
It's gonna rain.
You can only control how you react to the rain.
You can bring an umbrella.
Oh my God, so witty.
There was a second where I was like, oh my God,
I like his man, but I like man-beths.
He's cute.
I mean, he knows George Clooney and Uncle Tito.
I come into him and then he opens his mouth.
Oh my god.
Yeah, you can't... You can't force yourself to...
We have to certain way to the rain.
You can bring an umbrella.
You can...
You can bring your gulages.
Hey!
I'd wear a poncho in the rain.
That was a witticism.
Are you up on your rain gear?
No, no.
You can't force the seasons to change,
but you can really love raking leaves.
It's like, shut up.
Get the fuck outta here.
With your fake bookcase.
So, Stat, Katie's like, oh my god.
Did you hear about faith, like fucking a guy
over voice memos and then like denying it
and then someone figured it out
and then like we have an artist joke there
but like they didn't get it.
And her hands up like this
and she's got that stupid leopard print.
It's a cheetah, yeah.
It's like the nanny.
Man, Mr. Sheffield.
Honor, honor wrist.
And Stasi's like, if your friends are a reflection of you, what must Patrick
think? I'm like, the guy who just made the rain comment. He probably thinks he's sitting
across from friend Reshard. He's okay to put a goddamn wrist down.
So then we, uh, we head over to Burbank, California. Is anyone familiar with Burbank, California?
Yeah, exactly.
So we see James Lala and Tom Sandeval walking down a sidewalk.
And then we hear James go, I just love this studio, you know, because I know it's in Burbank, but it's like an honest distance away.
And Lala is like, I love getting into Burbank.
I love getting into the studio here I love getting into studio here.
It's like Zen mode, you know.
I'm like, Burbank is not Zen mode.
I don't know what the boss and equivalent of Burbank is,
but it's like, imagine going to Nike parking lot.
Kinsey, Quincy, Quincy.
Oh, we're Quincy shaming.
We don't even know what Quincy is.
We're Quincy shaming. We don't even know. We don't even know what Quincy is.
Wicked wicked biblical and Quincy over there.
I'm so here for Burbank. I'm so vibing burning like I'm here for it. I love it. I wish Burbank could be here for more Burbank I just I was like I see like an olive garden
I see like a chileese. I'm just like here for it.
It's like Zen Mode, Fast Casual, me, everything right now.
I live for a Flurigan because that's where I can.
It's like Olive Garden's standing up for Olive Gardens.
It's what I want, what I need right now, Zen Mode.
She's like, Al Rensh, MNLOP.
I can't make the alphabet work, I don't know it.
Okay, so anyway, he's like,
my career's taken off.
Here I am, him bourbon, with Lalo, and Tom.
She's gonna do it, she does best, just how we love her, singing.
And Tom's gonna have a trumpet.
Pump Sessions, volume two.
Coming to a store, near you.
That was a rhyme.
The producers are like, let me set up for that. I'm going to tell you to come into a store, you, you. That was a rolim.
The producers are like, let me set up for that.
He's like in the back just like playing some shit on his iPhone.
Like, yes, exactly.
He's like getting his iTunes or his garage band ready for loop.
Random trumpet loops to replace the horror show that's about to be fallen. No offense. So yeah, so they're about to record. James is, you know, he's nervous because of his big,
you know, night at Sir and he's like, I don't know why, but I don't know why I think the way I do,
but I feel like people don't want me to succeed. I'm like, that's true, yeah. You're really very, very acute with your thinking.
Accurates.
Not acute.
So as we heard, Lala can actually kind of sing,
they trick you because when they have the muffs on,
they hear, we know whatever, the things.
It's something, man.
But then when it comes out, it's like, I'm feeling you.
I don't know how they do it, it's magic. Thank you, computers. Yeah. But she sounds feeling you. I don't know how they do it's magic.
Thank you, computers.
Yeah.
But she sounds really good.
I don't know what the fuck this song is.
It's probably playing as someone goes through a crosswalk
in one of the eventals or whatever.
She's like singing the stock music for the reboot
of Ladies of London.
Yeah, she's like, it is.
It is like, that girl's worth something worth something. She's a good and she's worth something.
Driving my car down the street on the right side, know the left side, which is the right side in London town.
And Sam's was like, perfect, that's just what I wanted.
That third one was fire. It was fire.
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-goo.
Ha-ha-ha.
Yeah.
And she's like, yeah, thanks.
So great vibing with your 3-4-5-10th meet,
whatever, here for you.
Girl power, which brows could be here for girls or whatever.
And then he's like, all right, Jay, all right, Tom.
Naz, you're a turn.
Tom goes, every time I pull out my trumpet, it's an expression of my feelings.
Happy.
Happy little sad.
Ariana, how could you?
Jaws man.
But, Rayl.
Jaws man.
Pretty happy again.
Lola's like, I'm so here for his judgment, Trumpa.
It sounds like when dolphins meet and they make, they're like, Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee was not fucking bitch, Dothan would be there for other fucking bitch, Dothan.
Then we could be like,
banging fucking bitch, Dothan's together.
It's like,
ah!
Ah!
I didn't think Kristen was in the scene, so.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Captain Lee comes in, he's like,
my weenek!
God dammit! Get that. Captain my weenak, goddamn it.
Get that.
Yeah, goddamn well out of this ocean.
Listen, you're not dealing with a goddamn peg leg.
This time, my weenak.
No!
Lala's like, James goes,
that was great.
It was everything I wanted.
Rapid, rapid, ranks. Lock was great. It was everything I wanted. Rapid, rapid, rinks.
Locked.
Locked.
Pump Sessions volume three next.
So we then see, we then there's
like a commercial break or something.
And then we go over back to Brittany and Jackson.
Oh, let's go.
A very sad girl.
Sad, sad, sad, sad girl.
Brittany, she's like, I'm falling a shirt.
So then they show Jacks, and he's just like sitting down
on the couch, like post masturbation,
probably on camera.
Yeah, Coke's not dripping from his neck.
How could you do this to me?
And Stasi and Katie come over, and they're like typical
Stasi and Katie, she's like, what are you guys eating?
Stasi's like, I beg all, I'm jealous.
Well, thanks for bringing me a bagel.
Yeah.
Sheena has like three that are left over her apartment.
I was like, I made dinner.
It's like the meal I always make.
Unlike breakfast, which is the one meal I actually don't make.
Yeah, sheena, we know.
So, breakfast is breakfast.
Breakfast?
Did you just call it breakfast?
Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast. I thought he'd do breakfast. So, Brexit is Brexit. Brexit? Did you just call it British Brexit? Brexit.
Brexit.
It works.
I thought he'd be Brexit.
He's like, no one even knows what that means, Brady.
He's like, more taxes, I think.
No immigrants.
I don't know, but I mean it, Cheyons.
So, of course, this is the advice you never give your friends,
even though they're getting cheated on all the time and have sores in places
You didn't even know you can get sores.
Okay, you never just say break up with the motherfucker. Like what fun is that? You're supposed to say, well, this is your decision. I'm here for you either way.
The stossie just eaten that motherfucking bagel that she didn't bring one for anybody else and she's like dumping.
Get rid of him. Well, she knows.
She knows there's no point.
She's been down this path before as the Lord say,
I'm paying this part of the zoo.
And she does, it's like you don't want, like,
don't even bother.
It's like once you see a sign, it's like,
it's like rotten food, you know, like once you know,
it's rotten, just throw it in the trash.
It's not.
Or just give it to Katie.
Whose advice is, I grab that's, that's rude.
That's rude. That's rude's rude. That's rude.
That's rude, guys.
That's rude.
She's a nothing wrong.
She's a nothing wrong in front of me one time, just kidding.
So Katie's like, this is no way to live.
OK, this is no way to live.
I'm like, you got cheated on a week ago.
You have an Edison bulb hanging off
of a fluted candlestick next to a graffited Bubba thing
Yes full circle bitches right
That's not here for soccer
So I'm a real circle place over at the restaurant. It's time for CU next Tuesday. Otherwise known is
Sunt
He's like, Sunt, Suckus. So, scene at time, everybody starts arriving.
And I just want to say that I went to write down,
like the people that I saw on screen,
I was like, Guillermo, Logan, Raquel.
But when I went, where type Raquel,
my computer automatically corrected it to a racket,
like tennis racket.
And I was like, that somehow works.
You know, it's just sort of like a big round thing
with Eric and just go through it, you know.
Which for me, Raquel. And I was like, that somehow works. You know, it's just sort of like a big round thing with the Eric and just go through it, you know?
Which for me, Racket.
Speaking of where still it's her.
And he's like setting up his big thing
in front of the pizza oven or whatever.
And, you know, Arianna's like, I'm mad.
Her and Tom were working the bar together and she's like,
that was actually like the opening credits right there.
Well she's like, I'm not even gonna shake this.
So I'm gonna pour this drink in real time
instead of slow motion.
This is when they saw her opening scene
where she's just stacking champagne glasses and
just not giving a fuck with the smile.
Like she's burning down the restaurant.
Like, it's just going everywhere.
It's like, I'm mad at you.
So I know we're going so long, but the fridge, you guys.
The fridge.
This is our favorite setpiece ever.
Yeah, because here we are.
We're seeing you're talking about Jackson, Brittany,
and all this drama.
And I wasn't a cut.
We're totally forgetting that there
is an equally important drama slash scandal
that surfaced last week, which is that Rob apparently
kissed someone at talker went, ah.
And it needs to be addressed in front of the fridge. Talker mother. Rob apparently kissed someone and took her went, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, click, click, click. And Ariana's like, look at me. I'm reaching up on the shelf, which no one else does,
because there's never anything on upper shelves.
She's like, look.
And she's like, hi.
And she's like, hi.
It's like, oh my god.
This drama, it's like, I'm a star on the scroll.
And can I believe this girl said that?
And I'm supposed to go out there and wait on Jax and Kristen
and Katie and Lala-Mo, and Tom.
And on top of that, there's a new pasta special.
Like, oh my God, it's a lot.
It's like, you know, Katie, it's like you're kissing him
with being a traitor when he's like the most loyal human being
on the planet, it's pissing me off.
Katie's like, oh my God, you guys,
I have to like take detours, like all walk out there and then I my God, you guys, I have to take a detour.
It's like all walk out there and then I'll see people.
Now, I have to walk the long way around
so I don't have to serve them.
I'm like, she literally said,
who waits tables at this goddamn restaurant?
I know.
Anybody, because the only person I ever see is Peter.
And I go there a lot.
And Max, Max is the only one who, like, cares.
He really works.
He works hard.
Katie literally said, I have to walk around and take teachers because I can't move. I was like, I love that you just
described your life in a metaphor right now.
I just can't move. So, so Erin, I was like, okay, I can see
that she knows about to yell at Katie, so I'm just gonna go
back to the bar. Yeah, because she's my, she was like, okay, I can see that she knows about to yell at Katie, so I'm just gonna go back to the bar.
Yeah, because she's like, can we make an agreement?
Not like, you're gonna keep my name and my mind
and my relationship and my mouth.
And then I'm gonna do the same for your relationship
and your because I don't like carrying my name
and my relationship with your mouth.
And Katie's like, um, well, I don't like
carrying about my relationship either in your mouth, and she goes,
oh, so it's calculated.
Like, you did that because you heard about your relationship.
I'm like, yes, bitch.
That's exactly what it is.
Yes, you told everybody her boyfriend cheated.
Her husband cheated.
And so she told everybody your boyfriend cheated.
What don't you understand?
What is Shina?
It's a constant question.
I have calculated.
So meanwhile,
I'm faxing this calculation,
Keo.
So actually, there was some stuff that happened right before the fridge,
which is, first of all,
I really liked that Peter went to make sure that James wasn't drinking.
And he's like, Oh, are you testing my shoulder tempo?
Are we there? Yeah. Are we really there?
You're testing my shoulder tempo.
Yeah.
So we are.
But most-
Prior to being drunk every day on the job, yes,
we're going to test you shortly.
James is really feeling himself right now.
He's like very excited.
He's like, you know, any time I'm playing my own music to the crowd,
there's no better feeling.
I mean, I'm just killing the game.
I'm like, this is not Coachella.
It's not even like a code rack or something, a code check.
It's not even Christen's clash show with the UCB.
Yeah.
So Lisa comes in with this purse.
It's like, you know when ladies are like,
look, I'm holding my purse like this.
And when we're on a wrist, she's like, mew, look, I'm holding my face like this. I'm trying to wear honor wrist.
He's like,
mew, look at this flashing lights and my rags.
I'm wearing my most youthful blazer
to go with my most youthful pantsuit.
Now, what is Jack's doing here?
He hates everything to do with James Kennedy.
He would have tried to shoot him if it was back in the day. He can
only keep so many Kennedy's in his mind that Jack's death.
He's not gonna give up his shot. I'm sorry, I just saw Hamilton.
My name is Alexander Hamilton.
Get it?
What do you think about the Federalist papers? Anyways, so... He's only had to get under Britney's skin as he did face.
Get it?
Get it!
So, Jack's goes up to Lisa, and this also annoys me about Jack's.
The way when he talks to Lisa, you know,
because he maintains this reputation,
not rotation, but this relationship with Lisa,
where he's just like the good guy.
He's like, just her son, you know, up to,
so I'm just a rascal.
He's like, so, I guess you heard about this recording thing,
huh, am I right?
And he's like, does it like all casual?
Like, huh, like isn't this crazy?
And she's like, oh, yeah, that's a bit distasteful.
What ever happened to me a culpa?
And he's like, who's that?
Did I get her pregnant?
Yeah.
Does her ass live in Vegas?
Because if that me a cause me one god damn more time,
I swear to God.
I didn't do it.
She's like, no, Mia Copa.
He's like, Mia Copa.
Tom, what does Mia Copa mean?
He's like, ah, I think it means it's your fault.
Like, no one knows what Mia Copa is.
At least number two really knows how to say,
sorry, he learns the words you need to hear,
and he says them, that's how to be a husband.
Yeah, exactly.
That's now.
I mean, it is pretty amazing that Jackson
has never even heard of the concept of Miracleba.
That is like actually so perfect for him in this show.
He's like, a fucked up against, still need you Lisa.
She's like, that's right, my little man.
My little broken bit.
Well, he is a rough one, that jack stela.
He just needs a little crank, crank onto the hood, that one.
She's like red fox in the junkyard.
Guralain happy unless everything around her broken.
So after the refrigerator scene with Kate, he and Shita, Lisa walks...
Is this refrigerator working? I won't be in the scene.
Carry on working bird refrigerator.
Oh, okay.
Original title of working girl.
So Lisa walks up to the DJ booth.
Working bird refrigerator, starring Melanie Griffith.
And it dims some cut.
Has my inspiration open up, sir.
So DJ James Kennedy is like spinning.
And he has his like headphones over his eyes like he's in some catch. Has my inspiration open up, sir? So, DJ James Kennedy is like spinning. And he has his like headphones over his eyes,
like he's in Star Trek.
He's like,
and she walks up.
And she has his look on her face.
She's like,
like she's like smiling, but in shock.
Like, what is this piece I have in front of me?
And so he is like,
You know this is how SIGFED lost his throat, right?
So, too far, Ronnie.
Oh, come on, it's still too soon.
RIP to Dolores Reardon, who has nothing to do with,
nothing to do with SIGFED.
Right.
She's like, what is that?
What is it on your eye?
And he's like, the cognate white cognate is back baby
But she's like is there a brown cognate
He's like I'm a performer. That's what you hire me to do
Like yes, yes, and he's like Lisa you saved me the way I couldn't explain
Which is so over dramatic. I mean you're playing a CD in the corner of Sir.
He's like got crusty flour on his back from the pizza oven.
He's like, you saved me.
You saved me, Lisa.
You get it.
That's right, you little man.
That's all you have to do.
Fuck up a lot and just say, I need you, Lisa.
You can have the whole goddamn world.
I don't know what is wrong with people in this show
that they can't get a raise.
Just say, I'm hurt and I need you.
Oh, come to me.
James Kennedy isn't going to promise a package.
He can't deliver.
And what did I do?
I delivered.
Here you go.
Here's a party.
See you next Tuesday.
I'm like, ugh.
He delivered.
Look at this.
All of my employees drinking for free.
And the one non-room work.
You know what else to do?
It was my facts machine with business.
And then as she walks away, because he's
the ultimate asker.
And it works.
Because she walks when he goes, you look beautiful, by the way, my queen.
Is that even allowed in workplaces?
So me and the really important part, she
is like, oh, my God.
There's a squirrel down here, and she knows those
squirrels.
Where's that?
Tacoma.
And she had a phone, like she told us
girl, and she saw my boyfriend, like,
because she's so crazy, because he's like the most honest, trustworthy, reliable,
amazing person on the planet, okay?
Like, he makes me breakfast, which is crazy,
and it just works out so well,
because that's the one meal I don't cover myself.
She's like, she walks up to the bar, she goes,
man, have a diet coke, please.
Oh, yeah, I'm trying to say bar and she goes, man, have a diet coke, please. Oh, yeah, I'm Tom's there.
And he's like, oh, hey, she know what to.
Oh, no, no.
She's like, oh.
He's like, that means I'm confused.
So can I have a diet coke?
And he's like, a glass of judgment, maybe.
Would you like that?
Like, ah, so I said, I'm realize self-sector for everybody bringing out this like,
gem thing, because like, generous at Taco Madera,
I'm like, nobody can stop talking about it.
I'm like, what a drop deal.
Ah, nothing, that's right.
So I said, could people bring up Rob?
And I'm like, why do they have to bring it up anymore?
I'm like, why does everyone talk about Rob?
It's like, everyone's here like, oh my god,
what's going on with this shit, I don't rob anymore.
Even Tom's like, dude, ah, hey, do you bring it to you?
But there's a fresher scandal happening, dude.
It's like, if I don't want to talk about it,
why do you keep bringing it up?
And she's like, thanks.
She walks away with her diet cut back.
Have you tried the pasta, especially yet?
It's kind of interesting.
I'm gonna go get gin now.
Thanks.
So they're over in like a beautifully lit room.
Lisa is there just reading a binder.
She's like, it's nine times.
So I bring out the binders.
She's like, look at me.
I'm reading a letter that James Kennedy just faxed over to me.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
12, go.
This doesn't make sense, this 12, send it back.
Send it back.
This wasn't written in Burbank.
No, sherman oaks, it best.
So, it's like, man, I'm going through it, Lisa.
I don't know what to do, Gamel and a Godbird asked,
he don't.
Do you want some popcorn?
And Lee says like,
she's like down to her, but she's like,
Oh.
Do I see a broken bed?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
So say it, say it.
My wing.
What about your wing?
It hurts.
How badly?
I don't know. can you feel it?
Not really what about when I do this out?
You're broken broken what?
What?
Sit down
And here's everything
Gollipades gollipades gollipades
His season two of a spin-off man
Gollabins, gollabins, gollabins. His season two of a spin-off, man.
I've been broken, man.
Um, I actually believe it around, though.
I actually thought it was a really poignant scene,
because Bernie was based, I did.
I can find poignant scene Vanderpump rules.
I can do that.
Okay.
Because she's been...
I won the mute button is on this microphone.
She's based, Bernie's basically being like,
I don't know what to do.
I'm a strong woman, but I'm not acting like a strong woman.
And I keep having sex with him.
And I don't know what to do.
But I did.
And I felt bad because I don't know.
I feel like that does suck.
Like you know, she knows that she has a dumb jacks.
And she can't help herself.
That sucks.
She can't help herself from like shooting spin offs with him.
Get out. I mean, not you get out of here. Brittany. And you know what, shooting spin-offs with him. Get out.
I mean, not you get out of here.
Brittany.
And you know what, Brittany?
Don't even get out of here.
Come back here.
Yeah, well, that's what Lisa Vanderpropa says.
Like, don't go back to Kentucky.
Stay.
Finish the season.
I'll introduce you to Hanky and Hanky.
Would you like to meet Doreet?
Would you like to meet Doreet?
She's wonderful. Brittany, come meet D'Ariette? Would you like to meet D'Ariette? She's wonderful. LAUGHTER
Brittany, come meet D'Ariette.
Lisa's advice is always like so borderline sexist, you know?
And she is like the madam of the biggest
whorehouse in Hollywood that's still running.
So I respect her for that.
But she's always like, there, there.
At least you're pretty.
It's like, who says that?
Like, how is that your advice? She's like, at least you'll, yeah, at least you're pretty. It's like, who says that? Like, how is that your advice?
She's like, at least you'll, yeah, later.
But she's like, you'll still pretty.
And she's like, revenge, buddy.
I'm like, on who?
What are you talking about?
She's like, she just walked out here
like Van a White 30 years ago.
Back up popcorn.
At least, at least you're pretty.
Don't leave him. Don't do it.
If you return to Kentucky, he wins.
But she's disgusting advice. Well, she's right. Why should Brittany have to change
her whole life just because he's an asshole? You don't have to change your life.
Get a full-time job in your own apartment. No one's making you go back to Kentucky.
Yeah, get a job somewhere else.
So then we see Jen Bush over.
And they're having Jen, across the street.
The famous Jen Bush over at one of those machines
we enter in like what things cost.
What is called?
Life or Ensel?
That's squirrel.
That's squirrel.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system.
That's squirrel system. That's squirrel system. That's squirrel system. That's squirrel system. That's squirrel system. So she's under getting in just sort of like looking beautiful Hi
I literally don't ever want to speak about this again. I just get it
These rumors about rabbit talking to her
I'm just gonna like her will shape me you know because it's like a thought of a claim from you.
I thought you'd maybe be clear if I had to fire it up.
Did you try the most, especially?
That's really good.
I don't know, that's like a real scarves.
I don't know.
I know you were gonna trickle on me, Rob.
Whoa.
It's like pulling out the knife.
And Jen's like, um, I'm not here to get anyone in trouble.
Okay.
Basically, my girlfriend works there,
and she's like, do you know this girl?
Man.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Because it's weird.
I saw this guy in line, and then I saw him,
and then I saw him, and then he was making out with somebody,
and I'm confused.
And she was like, oh, wait, so maybe this girl
saw somebody on an app that she was online, because she has an iPhone, and she's like, oh my god, so maybe that girl like saw somebody on an app that she was like online
because like she has an iPhone,
and I'm like, she's like, oh my god,
that person looks reliable.
And then she was like, trading reliable,
hashtag, and then she like, looks it up,
and then she like, found a bank,
and I'm like, she got a savings thing out.
Totally what I said.
She's like, it's funny because I asked Rob,
the other night I was like, so what'd you do last night?
And he was like, well, I used to do the girl talking about her,
and like, I went and picked her up, and I got a driver around, and I kissed her on the cheek. I mean, maybe I've been an accident all like, kiss on the lips, like, so what'd you do last night? And he was like, well, I used to do a girl talking about her. And I went and picked her up and I got
a driver around and I kissed her on the cheek.
I mean, it may have been an accident.
I'll kiss on the lips, slash, like, hand on the boobs,
slash, like, we may have had accident on the lips,
or whatever, but it's like, basically,
you're saying exactly what he said.
So.
What in total is the same thing?
And Jen's like, oh, it's probably
a little more inappropriate than your version,
but like, whatever.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Although, my heart feels like, basically, you said you can act the same thing, but like whatever. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Although, it's like basically, you said
you could do the same thing, but like he said.
So, like the only thing I hate is just like,
game of telephile.
Click.
I'm not.
Case closed, bitches.
You really got the bottom of that one, Chino.
Yeah.
Like Judd Sina.
Yeah.
He didn't pay his rent.
Here, I have the slit.
So I'm saying, oh my god, slap.
Sometimes I'm like, you'll wear a dress and like,
and I like it'll stay on the wearthroet.
And you're like, oh my god, right in my wearthroet.
Oh my god, suddenly when I said, knock out, babe!
Oh my god.
What?
Yeah, Judd Sina, she goes through 10 court cases
in the first 15 minutes of her show.
And they're all about her.
Yeah.
So you were driving drunk, and I was feeling myself on Snapchat.
So innocent, the word to the plaintiff, which is me.
Thanks. Case closed, bitches.
Yeah, I have a picture of you going through a red light camera,
and I have a picture of myself when I was at the red light.
Case closed!
Judged she, though.
So then the song comes on as we transition to the next scene and the song's like,
we're gonna rise no matter what comes our way.
And then it goes to the sur back alley. I'm like, I don't think that's where like personal empowerment happens.
So it was just like random flower touching water.
It was a cute scene. It was basically Tom and Ariana making a
Judgment right and she's like yeah, she's like
Oh my guys all better now
Like in our relationship like sometimes Tom much that the fuck up and stop saying judgment
I have to put him in his place or beat the shit out of him
And then sometimes I'm like right
It's like I'm sorry. I got mad at each other. I'm sorry. We got mad at each other him. And then sometimes I'm like, right. It's like, I'm sorry I got mad at each other.
I'm sorry I got mad at each other too.
And then they're like, cool.
It's like great.
Yeah, that's it.
So then a song comes on.
This time I was going, sorry, not sorry,
sorry, not sorry.
Isn't that already like a very famous song? I think so. I was going, sorry, not sorry, sorry, not sorry.
Isn't that already like a very famous song?
I think so.
I think Remaking It Another Song.
Sorry, not sorry, not sorry.
So Jackson's still on the couch with like
a blood and coke coming out of his blood, but...
And Britney's like,
Hi, J.X.
It's me.
I came from upstairs because he was super hot.
Yeah, because I turned off the air conditioner.
What sort of like...
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
What's this is like some Pentagon level, like, you know,
like, okay, we're gonna smoke him out, you know?
That is bad.
We're gonna turn off the air conditioner
and play heavy metal today, like surrender their seat.
Because it's a split level,
so you know he had air conditioning still on.
But importantly, before she came downstairs,
Brittany got a call from her mom,
and mom's like, oh, it's hard when someone cheats.
It's really hard.
Brittany's like, I just want to be like my mom,
except she's been married four times.
I was like, okay, things are starting to make make sense. Her fucking mom is the worst, okay?
I don't care what anybody says.
That woman is the devil.
She's like an incompetent Kardashian mom, you know?
It's true though.
Look, Chris Jenner may be a very successful pimp,
but she's a successful pimp.
And she is the most fucking successful pimp
and I give her credit, okay?
You took your kid's internet blowjob and she is the most fucking successful pin and I give her credit, okay?
You took your kids internet blowjob and have that many billions of dollars. Yes
Britney's mom you got a candle in the cup. I'm sorry, but that's what she ended up
Her mom is like, yeah, you know, it's real hard when they cheat on you can you just can't trust him anymore?
Like now you're telling her? Yeah.
That's just interesting.
So Brittany's like, but you know what, though?
I was raised Christian and like, I'm a big Christian.
I'm a big Christian.
I believe in forgiveness.
And if he doesn't change, then I'm going to leave.
I'm like, he hasn't changed already.
What makes you think he's going to change now?
But anyways, so she.
Forgive me.
Yes.
So she goes downstairs and she's like,
I love you too much not to work things out.
And he's like, fine.
I'm like, what's with the attitudes, sir?
You should be so lucky that she's even extending
in Olive Branch when she definitely does not meet you.
And he's like, he's the one who's acting all
burdened by this.
Like, oh, fine.
Well, I mean, why should he?
She's just like a welcome hat.
What are you supposed to step over it?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Come here welcome hat.
Let me put you to the side.
You don't get money.
She lay in there wipe your damn feet on her.
I don't even care at this point.
I mean, this girl is such an enabler.
They even have a ramp for their dogs
to get on the goddamn couch.
That's like, really?
This is not like a high couch.
It's not like this high, you know?
It's a couch.
Yeah.
What if they can't do it?
Well, stay with them for, make them ham sandwiches for the rest of your goddamn life.
I mean, she isn't a naveler for sure, but, you know, in this case, I mean, I'm still on Britney side and
So she's like here the rules. She's like, okay first you're gonna get started going to therapy
He's like sure. It's like obviously he's not gonna go therapy and he wasn't therapy by the way
And it did not work out what and then she goes the way you talk to me has got to change and he goes
Can we say the way we talk to each other the way we talk to each other's got to change?
No, no that does not change,
because you slept with someone else.
That's what happens.
What happens?
Yeah, it's a big risk to believe in you.
You get that, Mr. Right?
He's like, yeah, I promise.
I will never cheat again.
He's like, that is right.
I talked to my mom and I told her,
I ain't gonna forgive you again.
He's like the one with white lips
who like got dumped four times.
Okay.
And he's like, oh, and he's like the one with white lips who like got dumped for thrums. Okay.
And he's like, oh, and she's like, hey, she's like,
she's like, listen, this is not a little thing.
This is not just a little thing that you just get over.
And he's like, that's not my fault.
That's not my fault.
Like, oh, they could have gotten over it if she just kept it
between the two of them.
And he controlled it all and controlled her,
like an abusive motherfucker.
Sorry, no.
He goes, it's not my fault, and she goes,
yes, it is your fault,
and he goes, I didn't say it was my fault.
Yeah, he does do that.
He literally does that.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sorry, people at home.
I just screamed into the microphone
for like the 20th time.
Oh, no.
I can't very much.
I need to pass that idea.
You listen here, Roomba, if you bump into another wall,
I swear to God, it's like, okay.
And then he starts doing this thing, it's like, listen.
Oh, she was like, God, I ain't so,
saying you that must have.
And he starts doing this thing, listen,
it takes two to argue,
takes two to make a relationship work.
I'm like, yeah, but it only takes one to cheat, okay?
And you did it.
I feel like, very like,
I feel like I'm on designing women right now.
I'm like,
you're like Julia Sugarbaker
when she's giving a bottle of like
about the most obvious things.
She's like, now listen here, Susan.
When there's a crosswalk in a person doesn't stop
and look at the light,
is it crossable or is it walkable?
I stand against that.
Everyone must stop with the crosswalk and look both ways.
You're like, you go, Celia.
Yes, you go, Celia.
I believe that.
And he's doing this whole thing of like, yes, cheating is wrong.
You know, I've done very bad things.
But what did it do for me to do that?
Which, by the way, doesn't really make sense to say that but he's busy saying like, but we're like what did you do to drive me to that point?
She don't know how to make a ham sandwich. That's what it all could have been fixed with a ham sandwich everyone. That's what we learned.
Well, the episode actually ends with the classic Jackson line. It won't happen again. I promise.
Said with about that much conviction.
Yeah.
He's like, it won't happen again.
I promise, fat face.
It's like next next coming up next week on
Vanderbilt rules, Jack's boning a...
A yak.
Oh, no.
It's just a deal with squirrels. I Yak, I don't know
It's just a deal that squirrel sit he's hitting all the buttons with his we I do want to say also right before that He he was like listen. He's like I know I did something wrong, but can we just like press pause?
I just have like a fun day. I'm like no you don't get to press pause
Because she's the one has to deal with this like every single day and every stage she'll be having a good moment having to do with it. No listen when someone
when someone fucks you over you're having a good dinner like oh god I got
fucked over by that dick I know that like no you don't get to press pause but she
also should know better because when he says it'll never happen again it's gonna
happen again tomorrow and it's already happened. Anybody who's ever cheated just
kidding.
That brings us to the end of some random prom.
Wonderful, everybody.
Thank you to the Bravo Gods for giving us this show.
Wow.
They're first ever.
And thank you guys so much for coming here.
Thank you for coming.
And being here, Boston, we'll be back on Saturday night
to talk some real house of New Jersey.
Hopefully we'll see some of you guys there.
Also, before we wrap this up completely, you guys, there's like a bar back there.
So we're going to go clean up some stuff back there.
And then we're going to meet you guys like in five or ten minutes over there in that bar.
Okay?
So if you guys want to hang out, we're hanging out.
Thank you, this thing.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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