Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: Where In The World Is Quad Sandiego?
Episode Date: September 5, 2018The whole gang is here for the season premiere of "Married To Medicine." Even Mariah is back as an official cast member. But where oh where is Quad? We address this and other pressing questio...ns on our latest recap. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Christy Wowardity, dowity!
Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.
Langenberg, you can't have a burger without the burger!
Just saying, okay!
Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!
Ain't no thing like Allison King!
Back in the Slayertailer!
Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson!
Susie, going to the Tobin!
Hava, Nagila Weber!
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!
Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang!
And our super premium Patreon subscribers,
Kelly Grant, the Grant Master!
Give them hell!
Miss Noel!
The incredible, edible Matthews sisters!
And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f-
Watch what crap is
Watch what crap is
Who cares what
Happens when there's so much that crap is
Poppins
Poppins
And crap
And crap
And crap
And crap
Watch what crap is Watch what crap is I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from my life. Ben Mandelker from the internet from the world.
And joining me as usual is someone who's from some place more interesting, which is Ronnie Carram from trashtalktv.com
and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. What is going on Ronnie?
Well hello, man. How's it going? You have a good weekend, a good long holiday weekend?
Oh my god, it was so fun. I even cleaned my house. Kind of. Yeah. I slept and then I woke up and then I slept and then I would dustbestered and I would go back to sleep.
I mean, it was kind of a dream life.
That's really great.
That's a great way to spend a weekend.
I myself, I ate a lot of food.
My friends and I, we cooked a huge meal,
some from these brand new cookbooks that I just got,
which delicious food.
And then went to the LA Times Food Festival thing they had.
So, oh god, my printer is like acting up.
Can you guys, can you hear my printer say? My printer is like acting up can you guys
my printer say my printer is like guess what I did I printed stuff no one asked
you printer no settle down some of my printer just likes to take a big
sigh it just sort of like makes noise and then it just sort of settles down again
yeah it's like I'm warming up just in case you forgot I was here yeah I know it's
such an intention or case you need me was here. Yeah, I know. It's such an intention. In case you need me. It's like a me.
Yeah, I actually named my printer Clifford.
Anyway, important stuff.
We are like a week away from our big show in Denver, y'all.
You guys got to come to our Denver show.
I mean, if you have FOMO about all our stories from Atlanta
and Palm Beach, guess what?
It's already time for another show.
Denver, next week, September 13th, you got to come. The shows are amazing. You never know what you're
going to miss if you don't go. Yeah, it's going to be a blast. Yeah. And then after Denver
in October, we have two nights in New York City at the infamous Grammys Siete. So come to
that. And then the month after we we are gonna be a Nashville in December.
So get your tickets for Nashville.
New York City.
So get your tickets for New York City.
Yes, and Seattle in November.
Geez, I just get November.
Yeah, some grateful Queen I am.
And we're starting to see some real surges
in ticket sales at some of those places.
So definitely get your tickets before they are gone
because we do have a tendency to sell out shows.
And for Dallas, I'm sorry, for
Denver, we're going to talk about Real Housewives of Dallas. And then in New York, the first
night, we're going to do Dallas. And the second night, I guess it's looking like a classic
Real Housewives of New York City, huh?
Yeah, it's so excited. Yeah. So it should take us for those. We are so excited to come
see you guys. I've never been to Denver, so I'm very excited. Me neither.
I'm really excited to be out of breath.
So now we...
I've never heard somebody so afraid of elevation.
Like, you are really prepared for this elevation.
I'm not afraid of it at all.
I'm excited for that experience of...
You're gonna be smothered by nature.
That was gonna be the name of my rap group. Smothered by nature. That's that was then that was gonna be the name of my rap group smothered by nature
Hip hop hip hop elevation
That was a terrible terrible pun
Well, hey, it's my bay and you down with OPP. Yeah, you know me meaning other people's pressure systems
Sorry
Sorry So it's Monday and we're in a weird situation with Bravo because we are in a turnover season
for Bravo.
So Bravo is changing over the shows, New York is ending this week and Shaw's, I don't
know, so I'm a diet last week, so that's still the same, but it was not. And this week, Rojas was a forged county was not, so we're having some
ish with our schedule because we have to put Shaw's in rotation. We've covered every
episode of Shaw's ever and we have to keep that in rotation. Mary D'Ammettason is back,
which we also love Mary D'Ammettason. And I think we've, we haven't covered everyone
because last year it was kind of a part-time job
on Mary D'Medicine, right?
Yeah.
But you know what?
And Southern Trump's Savannah just ended last night.
So sorry Southern Trump's Savannah, we didn't cover you.
But we did a trailer breakdown for it,
which I think was fun.
Yeah, I have to say, I was rooting for you guys, OK?
I loved the, well, I liked the first season a lot and then I put this season on on on my headphones while I was
cleaning and you really know how much they were struggling just with the music
cues because it'd be like hey Louie you want a bagel?
That was a good bagel, Hena.
Well, we're gonna have a party
what a nice party
okay you guys are putting poor
trixi monocle in her light orchestra
through a lot yeah she had to like give some of that work to her understudy
she's like all right you know I'm going on holiday with poll you take have this
Celeste you know so uh I'm going on holiday with Paul. You take care of this Celeste, you know, so
Anyway, yeah, that's wrapped up and good riddance, but I think going forward
We're gonna be doing marriage medicine on Mondays Orange County on Tuesdays
Below deck on Wednesdays Dallas on Thursdays and Shaz on Fridays
Yes until we figure out what is coming in, then something might be pushed off.
But for now, that is the deal.
That is the deal.
So since there was no more real housewives of Orange County this week,
we have married to medicine, the opening episode of this season.
Yeah, and it opens on this like very ominous like vibe.
Like I forget what we were seeing, maybe like a land.
I think we're seeing maybe images of Atlanta or trees or something
And we just hear like an echoey toy a voice and she's like wow
It was like the spectral ghostly presence of Toya. What's the sound of that? What's the sound of that?
It jacked up.
It was all the ladies talking about how Quads
are not calling them and it was all this echo and then
we have the classic flashback scene where
or flash forward scene where you know it's not like
some of the usually these, it's like some fancy
ballroom and we see somebody dead in the pool and then we flash back.
It's very sensible.
It's very sensible.
It's just someone's like outdoor table and they're back here, you know.
Yeah, because that's what this show, this show is like a little less glamorous than the
other shows on Bravo.
It's much more like, I'm going to sit on my furniture that I got from patio.com.
You know?
And like, here's a futon, I'm gonna put my feet up on,
and they're like, we hear Simone being like,
she put us to the side.
It's like big lots of drama.
And then Simone is telling her
So I'll go quiet
And quads like
And she's like
And then
Yeah, we see them are all sitting with her and they're already just yelling at Quad and some of us like, we're hurting
We are hurting you have she has abandoned the friendship
And Tor is like I've been doing you for five years now, so I thought a phone call
I'm in Troya because I'm quad ghost
Doya, I've Quadgas. Troya!
I've got a very busy schedule.
And so it's all this dramatic quadating.
It's quad has been calling.
Now, we have to remember that they started shooting this, I think like five minutes after
the reunion was staged.
They had to, because the reunion was done in March.
That was like, I think the reunion, when we went to DC,
remember that we can DC when everything was premiering
and ending at the same time.
We didn't even, we weren't even able to like cover
the summer house finale or reunion.
It was like, we just didn't have room.
And this show was having its finale that Sunday
and Potomac was airing.
So that was only a few months ago.
They had to, to be ready for September.
They had to start filming in April.
Yeah, so they're still fighting about the same stuff.
Which I hate.
I wish they had a couple of months to regroup.
Because now that we're going to hear about the same shit
from the reunion, now that's it.
Well, it's also super weird that they are reacting to stuff
that's like on TV.
They're seeing themselves on TV in the reunion,
they're reacting to it in the next season, you know,
like current, it's weird.
And all that God is good to have them back.
I was cracking up this whole set.
So, Quads, then it flat.
We get a flash of heavenly and quiet fighting.
Yeah.
And Quads like,
this is not a sisterhood.
And then, heavenly's like,
you who blocked us out.
You have any of the things you have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc-
You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have an e-conc- You have stop. I had to mute her because there were too many extreme close-ups of
janky mouths and I was like I was a gentist but this is not what I want to
be looking at on my Instagram feed. This is not work with my eyeball brand so I
had to mute her. It was too much. And I was like no. Yeah it's really gross. So
Heavenly is fighting but you know Heavenly heavenly pulls out the yelling as she always does
Yeah, she's yelling at her like you blocked us and she goes
And Quatt and Quatt is doing her full on sob. She what is happening with us?
I am not here to be jumped on and I will not have it.
And then that's pretty much it.
And then Contest is like, bye bye.
Watch the way.
And I'm like, whoa, Contest came with a new wig and a new attitude.
I know.
Contest is like, I'm here too.
I made it to another season.
This show does living living does love giving like
People with very mild personalities a second shot like yeah Lisa what's her face? Whatever that awful woman was
What was her name like?
She is the one who I think actually
Drag down this show for several seasons.
I think she was such a horrific casting choice. Well, she's also the one who invented almost
cancer, remember? Like the saying almost cancer on this show. I was so hoping that we would see
her husband at swinging Richards. I wanted to be like, aha! So desperate for that.
I wanted to be like, uh-huh. So desperate for that.
Wasn't it Darren, wasn't that his name?
Darren, yeah.
And what's her name, Lisa Marie?
Lisa, we are terrible.
She was so forgettable.
Like the moment she was gone, I forgot her entire name.
Yeah, she was trying to put a cease and desist order on quad.
She's just the worst. I and desist order on quad.
She's just the worst. I'm glad quad through like a glass at her face. She deserves it anyway.
That's pretty good.
One month earlier.
Does the sound of the marriage medicine time machine?
So this episode starts like last season started,
which is with everybody looking on the internet about somebody's husband cheating
Like it's like echoes speaking of echoes. It's like exactly the opening from last year. Yeah, so heavenly's like hey, daddy
Quad-wab lunch with mistress spills off
in the map. Quadrablons for mistress, spills off. She's filled.
Daddy, it wasn't sort of low level
hoe spills anything.
You know how to hold the glass?
He's like, none of this is true.
Come on.
And then it cuts to Toya's house and she's like,
it's watching Toya read a salary.
It's not her strong suit.
She's like, he got up up B and I said, where is
your code though? She ordered once a condom in the end, like, what sort of hell is this?
Yeah, and of course there's a leaf blower right outside my door. Welcome to watch a graph.
Welcome. Yes, they're all reading. I like that one. We're seeing the headlines. The very first thing I see is like the headline was like, Dr. Gregory's lady
speaks out and he has a pinky dick. Then we cut to Cone Tessa and she's like, oh my
God, he said she gave him head and she gave him head too. And the husband goes, that is
one thirsty chick. And then over at Cecil and Simone's, someone goes, I did not know when a man did it to a woman,
it was called head.
And she's wearing her glasses like her leaders.
Yes.
And Cecil's like, yes, that's, it's all called head.
And he's like afraid because he knows like,
if he says it the wrong way,
should be like up on her feet
Be like see so I
Did not know
head
Applied to a man on a woman. We all have
It's like whoa Simone
I knew I was gonna be cracking up this whole episode. Oh my god
I knew I was gonna be cracking up this whole episode. Oh my god I also got really mad that of course all the men are like everyone was like oh she's lying. Oh, I'm like
You're seriously all just like jumping to this woman's like have you not seen Gregory?
Like why would you ever think that she's long? This is Gregory. Of course. She's telling the truth and he just admitted in the
Reunion that he did it. It's like these guys are such dick.
Well, he took like partial.
He was like, well, I thought it was a motel room.
I thought it was a motel room.
And she wanted to go down the mountain.
No, I can't do it.
I got to get the garbage.
It's like, OK, whatever.
I got to take out the garbage.
The one thing he would never do.
Did you mean to take a commercial break right now?
Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
and insightful take on parenting.
Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident
not-so-expert-expert.
Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.
Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
What would we do differently?
And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego
in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.
So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job
in the world, listen to, I love my kid,
but wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app.
Yeah. And then so Contessa is on the side of the man.
She's like, well, she said his penis is shorter than my pinky.
And we know as doctors that people don't have pinky sized dick.
So this is bullshit.
Okay.
Wow.
The burden of proof is just like impossible to ignore.
So then, oh yeah. Oh, you're about to say what was just a jacking Curtis.
Oh, God.
Over at their house and Jackie's still, she's never gonna let this go.
She's so good.
I don't blame her.
Yeah, but they're reading it and she's like, it's difficult.
You feel alone on an island.
Curtis.
And he's like, mmm, she goes, she goes, I can only imagine how she
feels like staring at Curtis. I can only imagine very clearly how she feels. And he goes,
oh, it feels horrible. It feels horrible. And it's like, Curtis, that was not the time
for you to be winging on this. Yeah, he's like, but life isn't over.
They can work on it. That's the thing about life.
Life just keeps going and things get better. It's just, but it feels over.
Curtis.
But here's the good news. You can always go and get yourself a old-fashioned car
and maybe pierce your ear and just full on lean into the midlife crisis.
So then we cut to Ujiin listening to Tori read the story and he goes, I don't believe
anything from that article. And then we cut to Cecil and he's like, well Greg's story
has holes and he needs to work on that. There's some holes in that story. Yeah there are
some holes. So then Mariah and her wussy ass has been abing.
Now you know I'm thrilled Mariah's back.
Yeah, I think she's a full on cast member because I notice that she was in the, when they
cut to commercial and they showed the cast standing there in front of like Maritom Edison,
she's on, she's back.
She made it back, you know, she made it back under her own show.
Man, you know you're a disaster if like you have been kicked off this show that
you are exactly pretty as thing.
Like you kicked your own self off.
If it's a first you don't succeed, just be a worse and worse person.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So she's talking to her, was he has been eight and she's like, hey.
She starts like finger slamming his phone. She goes, don't be in an article.
Don't be an article. She said, don't be an article.
She's like, never, never. So now it's like, this is my favorite. I loved this scene. It's like 5 a.m.
And it's like, quad waking up and like they show quad it fuck, quote unquote 5 a.m.
waking up in her bed, her hair is like she's got like a wig is like perfect,
her full face of makeup and she's like, oh I'm all alone, you know, and like,
and it was so, it was so schlocky, like the light, it looked like a full on soap opera night scene,
right? Like we're like a telenevella, right? Like you could tell they set up the light outside the window. It's 8 p.m. you know?
Yeah, so she's like, look at me! I'm in the bathroom!
They have to do the bathroom alone.
I'm alone in the bathroom! And for some reason it cracked me up that in that room they have a giant painting of the creation of Adam.
Like this is the chapel.
The two fingers touching.
I love that they spawn that like, yes, we have to have the system chapel next to the bed.
And then right under her two little Yorkies with the blopper hair.
I mean, this whole scene, I was not...
I'm Chloe and whatever the other one is.
And she's like, I thought me and Gregory would be in tune with each other.
And you would be my protector.
And then we get five years ago.
What I do!
I also want to point out, I don't know if you noticed this,
but this drove me nuts.
The bed was like in the corner, but like it was like,
not like the bed was in the corner,
the bed was like against the corner.
Like it was, the bed was creating a hypotenuse, right?
Yes, that was like the thing people do.
I was like, this is awful.
Like the bed, like I hated that. I was like this is awful like the bed like I hated that
I was like my brain does that it makes me crazy
She read it in some design magazine and like 30 years ago, and she's like look I'm creating space
I'm like no, you're not using your space properly. You can't put a couch
It's like cutting off the entire corner of the room and then the rug is going that way to like it's landed
Yeah, like yeah, like no, that's how it's done Ronnie I'm like I'm gay
So how about you not tell me how it's done? I would only accept it if you put like a big plant in that pocket or a lamp
But quads was just like this random room with a sister with a cysteine chapel painting on it and like a diagonal bed
It was driving me nuts
And that's totally the raw cysteine chopper tier you've
seen it a million times and like a million teal pillows also and she's like
she's like putting her bed together and just like moving pillows around like
oh I'm blown with the pillows it's like I will not be reduced to this man angry
woman always cried who slipped into a depression
she gets it she gets it's like she gets a really thick accent on like one word
missus I thought I thought I don't have a best friend someone who be loyal
someone take out the trash on a consistent basis I didn't cry. And then she's like
Fastest by
He's sitting there like eating like Churri is like all hunched over like yeah
And then she leaves and he shuffles upstairs like the rubble. He is yeah, and she goes and she goes
Work has really been a refuge for me. I'm like work
What he what is this? What are you working on?
This is like your cookbook and then we find out that she is on a show called Sister Circle Live
Sister Circle Live. Yeah, it sounds a little like you know, culty to me. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God
It's not sister circle taped that would just be embarrassing
So the song to start the day
The song to start off the day. I love the music on this show So the song that started to fade, the song that started off the day,
I love the music on this show and the song is like, it's fucked up, it's fucked up.
I'm like, why? I'm pretty sure that's what the song was saying. It's fucked up. It is
fucked up. They are, first of all, quad and Gregory are pretending it's 5am when it's
8pm and they're not talking to each
other at this strange time of the day.
So that is fucked up.
But then we go to Toia and Uljean.
They're going to a trampoline exercise class, which I'm like, don't do this to Uljean.
Okay, he barely is even able to reconcile the fact that his blood pressure is like 500
over 300.
Okay, so don't make him go on a trampoline.
Also, what happened to that 40-pounds he lost?
I think he found it.
Because he came in and he's like, I lost 40 pounds.
I was like, you don't get to count the past.
You still have to mark it down every day.
I actually thought he looked slimmer.
I did.
I did, and I think he looks like he's gained since the past time.
Now look, that ain't judging, I'm a chubby person.
But it's like me saying, I've lost 100 pounds.
Well, over the course of my life I have,
but I've also gained like 900.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But also, it was a reminder to call my parents
because there was first, there was that weird corner
debacle, the weird corner furniture debacle.
And then is this jumping on trampolines?
My dad does this every morning.
Kaylee. And sometimes I call him and he's like, hi, son. Hi.
Like, are you jumping on the trampoline right now? I was like, yeah, to get my exercise.
That's so funny. What's an Olympic sport? Yeah, you could could call me after it's like, no.
It's okay. It's like.
You're like getting motion sickness.
Just listening to him go up and down.
Yeah. So she's like, you're going to jump that fat right off.
It was really sweet watching Hujin on a trampoline.
He's just like, he's like not enjoying it at all.
Just going up and down, up and down, up and down.
And then afterwards, he's like, I'm never coming back here.
You just know that trampoline plays.
I gave him a free lesson to be on TV.
He's like, thanks.
Thanks for the endorsement.
Yeah, he's like, my nut's hurt.
I'm never coming back here.
Yeah.
So, Toya and Ho-jin sit down. And I guess, Quad so Toya and and Eugene sit down and I guess
Quad told Toya I guess
She's that quad I guess quad blew off Toya and told Toya that she's gonna go tape with her real friends now
So basically quad has like she's now all about the sister circle live and not with Mary to medicine
Which I think think is so funny
that there's like that she is like, she has loyalties to a different TV show on.
Yeah, well, I'll present like on the TV show, different circle.
And I don't believe that she said, I'm going to tape it with my real friends unless Toria
was being Toria.
And I was like, yeah, but what you should have did with Thereless, you know, and just push
it, push it, push it, push it.
She's like, you're not my friend.
I will now go, okay, but my real friends.
Or whatever.
And let's try a really push chair.
Well, Toya is probably like pressing
her on the circle aspect.
Like, oh, that really a circle.
It was a square triangle.
Like, having a girl's, like, clap.
You can't have that many girls in the circle.
It's like, that's a work.
And she's like,
Oh, yeah, they're my good friends
Quad those isn't your you see this
Quad you're not the same mother. I don't think so
Oh okay, so then the next song is ain't nobody gonna last like me like me like me like me like me
And it's Contessa at home getting the kids crazy crazy crazy
crazy crazy kids. Oh, it's just my working. So she is working part time now. You know, I'm
one of the Facebook groups out there in the world. Someone wrote a rant and I want I said
I wanted to read it on the
air but he never really gave me permission so I'm not going to but I can paraphrase it.
Which is like, hey Bravo, like, enough with parents who have little kids, like the little
toddlers or whatever. It's the same shit every single time. Like, look at them running
around. Oh my god, it's so hard. Oh, I gotta feed them. My kids are out of control. Oh,
I gotta do everything. Oh, gotta pick up the them. My kids are out of control. Oh, I got to do everything. Oh, I got to pick up the kids
It's the same thing all the time this and and this this ranter made a very good point
Which is that the kids we care about are the ones who are teenagers they're the ones who bring the real drama and they're the ones
We're interesting like could we like move on from Bravo cast members who have little babies and toddlers and wild children.
Like, we just don't care.
I don't care anymore.
Contest is always like, I'm a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
Don't forget I'm a doctor.
But then they show her kid choking next week and she's like literally holding her upside
down and shaking her like she's trying to get Michaels out of her pocket.
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, I'm sick of it.
We can fast forward through this unless you have something to
say
uh... let's see uh... she they have
bunnies
and uh...
contest is like
contest is like well
i really miss working full-time i'm like no no you don't get to do that
okay because we said watch you cry last season you are gonna stay home now
you know like you don't make us sit here
and watch you complain and then you quit
and then you get home and you're like,
no, I wanna go back to work.
But you know what, she's got back to work part time.
Which I actually think is good for quit.
Yeah, I actually think she's like a really smart kid
bull doctor, so I'm actually glad she's working.
But I'm like, that's real hard.
Why stay home with her kids?
Yeah, I support leaving your kids.
You go for it, That makes the same mother.
Also, I have to congratulate Contessa on her second season hair.
Yeah, so much better.
Congratulations.
Yeah, so much.
Looks very cute.
Yeah.
So, now we go to Dr. Simone's office, where Cecil arrives with a plant.
God.
If you can't beat him, make him join you at work so you can beat him there.
Yeah.
And he's like, this is kind of scary because you always act like the boss, but here you
really are the boss.
And it's like, okay, that was a passive aggressive way to give your plant gift.
Well, he's working though now.
He's our new IT manager.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I did not.
So he's coming in like for his first day of work.
He's the new IT manager, which means his app failed already.
It's been like a week since the reunion.
And she's like, you will work for me.
So he's like, she says, last year, things between Cecil
and I were a mess.
I'm like, that was last week and they still are.
When you're making your husband work for you,
because you can't trust him to like be a reder big count at home. Yeah, it's trouble. Kids force. Kids love
his name of his, that was the name of his app, right? Where kids are going to like do
chores. It's like kids force. First of all, we never really talked about what a terrible
name that is like has the name, has the words kids and force in it. We're gonna force kids to do shit.
It's not a very positive name.
Yeah, it's really not,
especially with everything going on the news.
Leave kids alone, leave kids out of your app.
So she's like, yeah, things were a mess,
but then we have therapy.
And then they show that internet therapy.
NeNe, NeNe. Come back, NeNe, NeNe, NeNe.
Come back, NeNe.
Come on, NeNe.
Yeah.
This whole show should just be called therapist on Skype because that's what this show
it's turned into.
Like every single couple is like, Skyping with some therapists who's like, have you done
your homework?
Well, not as much as we should have.
Do your homework.
Yeah, she's like, we have come a long way. And you can tell
because now we do therapy on the TV screen. Yes. They figured out air play. We got a Chrome We held up a mirror to our relationship by mirroring our laptop.
So they are talking, she's talking about, she filed for divorce, but their friends saved
them by intervening.
And then she basically, she still doesn't live with him.
And they're still not having sex.
So they're basically still separated, but now they're doing TV therapy.
Yeah, and she, like, lean after she says that,
like, if our friends had not intervened,
she then leans in for a kiss for Cecil,
and he's like, okay, and he's of like very tentatively,
he's like, oh my God, okay, it's over.
Yeah, and the doctor has told them
that three nights a week they should live together.
And he's like, I'm ready to start tonight.
And she's like,
mmm.
He goes, I'm ready to start tonight.
And she just nods at him with a reader.
She's like, how about you start on the work of giving you,
how about that, you know?
Yeah. And he's like, well, it's been a long time since we've had sex, but you know reconciliation takes more time in life than non-reconciliation.
And she's like, I don't want to just jump back in bed.
And he goes, didn't you ever double-dutch as a kid? You just jump right in. And she goes, yes, I did. And I fell down.
How am I supposed to get back into sex when I just found out that man and women can both
give head. They're fucking here.
It's like, right now, it might not be the best time to talk about double dutch.
Okay, sir. So she's like, you need to bring more peace offerings. This is a plant, okay? Yeah. She does. Let's work on this. So then we go to Dr. Jackie's
office. And we meet Don who is one of her patients. And she's like a life coach. And we met her last
year. She's the one who basically buttered her nose into Jackie's business.
And was like, by the way, it'll get better, don't worry.
And Jackie was like, everyone's in my business.
So she's back.
And Jackie's basically telling her that like,
by the way, everything is better.
And Dawn is like, cool.
That's nice.
Yeah, she's like, let me share something with you.
Last year, I was in a dark space, That's nice. Yeah. She's like, let me share something with you.
Last year, I was in a dark space.
Haven't to talk about it over and over.
Was tough.
Now, would you like to make this a storyline with me?
Yes or no, Dawn, life coach.
And then Jackie's like, well, Curtis and I are doing more things together and we see a flashback
of them cleaning his ridiculous car.
I'm like, he's making you do his chores.
Yeah.
Like, congratulations.
You let him back and now you're cleaning his PT Closer or a cruiser.
Wow.
You guys have really come a long way.
So apparently though, I mean, I feel bad for Jackie.
I don't think she should have taken him back and she's like going through basically a
Shannon Bedore moment, which is that she's
Trying to move forward, but there's still things that trigger her like the other day. She walked into the house and was like, oh, what'd you do today? And he goes
I went to the auto show and she's like, yeah, that um really triggered me because it was so obvious he was lying
Yeah, and and the life coach is like well don't beat yourself up for the times you have doubt. How about that's terrible advice? And you better find out where the fuck he was
because chances are he was lying to you. Yeah, was it? What is auto show or a product show?
Yeah, I believe he's lying to you. Yeah, I'm not going to say I'm wrong, Dr. Jackie. No one says
um to Dr. Jackie, especially if you cheated on her in the past. It is clear sentences are clear.
So think that's it.
And I know what it's like to put a lot of work into something and then see it fail.
And that's not fun either.
But it's better than failing again with the same fucking person who's lying about honor
shows.
I don't trust him.
Yeah, not at all.
Not at all.
So next up back in Simone's office, she's talking to Tiffany, the sex therapist
that we met last year.
And she's like, Tiffany, Cecil, and I had a breakdown
in the marriage.
And the biggest request I have from Cecil,
in the, are you pleased in this marriage book, I leave,
on the counter every night, is,
I please have some sex.
So she's like, okay, well, let's get your sex back.
So they decide to have a sex party,
a leather and lace party for all the lady.
Exactly, which I feel like they've done
like five times on this show already,
but they're gonna do it again, you know,
because why not?
So it's basically, leather and lace
is every season on this show.
It's like new face and new front.
It's like every season.
It's like let's have group therapy with our group,
like 10 times this season, and what we'll do is we'll all get together
and we'll say no matter what, we are a sisterhood,
we are women, and we can't act like this,
we are family, and then they tear each their part and the therapist has to run away
So it's like okay, here we go again
Yeah, but first we but first we go to Dr. heavenly's house and she's like
Like you play
She got numbers on her pants
And Laura still looks at her like
But now she's got tons of lip gloss which I know you just love.
I mean I'll allow it. I'll allow it. I just don't like it.
And she's like, I'm doing homework. And she's like,
we like this dress a lot for me and good Christian by A.V. I can wear the shirt.
And a Laura of it's like
It's perfect
So a lot by the way a Laura is now like a tween and I'm struggling with that. It's like very strange
I'm like, oh no, she like a tween and I'm struggling with that. It's like very strange.
I'm like, oh no, she really is growing up and I'm like, listen, we've gone through it
with Avery, we've gone through it with Gia.
But I don't know, Alora, this is hard.
I don't know.
I'm struggling with the fact that Alora is a tween now.
Me too, I don't like it.
I like that she still has the same exact attitude though.
She's just like, I, gotta go and just leave
And heavenly's like, why are you gonna leave without a tube Laura? She's like, I don't have attitude
I'm gonna mom quit, thanks you baby
He's like, yeah
And she's like, I feel bad that our friends aren't doing well because we're so good in our marriage.
And he's like, yeah.
So I reshowed to Quad and Quad wasn't open with me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not good.
And then she's like, she's like, I know I've been praying and I'm afraid that I come off wrong sometimes daddy
And like some people say I mean and I'm not mean am I daddy? And he's like
That's the second husband. Oh, we had in the first episode
And she goes you
And
There's a daddy pause
He's probably working on myself with my spiritual journey
My she and Barbados. I made the couples upset
And she acts all innocent and then they show the clip of her like
Simone do you think you would really be with this
only Hodgepodge of a man if it were for his money?
And she's like, out there you come.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You. You.
You.
You.
You. You. You. You. You. You. You. myself I hope toya does the beach the beach therapy this year the cumbersome therapy that they do every
single year I hope toya does it like I'm gonna do it about Ash will do it okay sit down
outside okay now Simone talk to the seashell what does the seashell say about you okay can you
see your purpose of the seashell can you see your mother stop yelling at BC shell. It's a conch. So everyone pick up a conch.
This conch represents your conscience.
You got to up the conch.
So daddy, she's like, am I mean?
And he's like, I don't think you're mean.
But if you get mean, you're like Bruce Lee.
You could hurt someone.
And she's like, I need to talk to you more.
My person, a locker's down on it.
I'm like, be a counselor down on it.
And he's like, make the change inside.
Read the Bible.
Find scriptures about anger.
He goes, the Bible is spiritual food.
That's how you change.
Well, doesn't have calories.
You need to stop eating bibles.
So I say.
Jewel, by the way, I think we mentioned it last year, but Joule is, I believe, Joule
tankered from thicker than water.
Another little bravo crossover moment.
Anywho, we then go over to Mariah's house where she's getting ready for her leather and
lace look, etc.
Yeah, good.
This one.
And she's like, I guess she's wondering how, like the big question is, how is Mariah going
to deal with heavenly, especially after heavenly, committed the heinous crime of drawing a mustache
on her ridiculous poster that she put up on her door at the reunion unnecessarily?
And she tells us, I'm not sure why anyone would invite her to a sex party maybe for security.
She's always like clicking and winking. She's got the Karen huger thing.
So then we go to the now it's time for like the leather and lace party.
I'm spinning my hundred dollar bills spinning my hundred dollar bills
And I don't know why this cracked me up, but like they're all showing up at this like ooh to be a party Leather and lace party and there was like a sign like it then like right next to it
That's called this four-cythe fabrics and I just loved that this party was taking place adjacent to four-cythe fabrics
It's like how much you got that
was taking place adjacent to four-site fabrics. It's like. I'm glad you've got that. It's like, you know, like we're going to go leather and lace and then maybe
pick up, you know, some patterns. Yeah, some gingham, you never know. Yeah, I'm glad you've got
that because I wrote down this party takes place in an auto zone. It was literally an auto zone
next to four-site fabrics.
And as they do on the show, the guys are total strippers, like hot strippers, you know?
Yeah, just standing there just for no reason.
I appreciate it.
And Heavenly loves it. She's like,
what's the Simone?
And then there's still those out on you know party trays and stuff. Yeah, it's the usual like heavenly on Simone
Or looking at the sex toys and they're cracking up, you know about usual stuff and having like us
You gotta know how to use your body before you look before all this other shit
This is graduate school. We're not running, baby. We're not running for my eye. Daddy.
That's heavenly with the bunny.
So Tiffany shows up. Contessa arrives.
She's like wearing a trench.
And she's like, maybe going to take it off.
I guess, did she ever take it off?
She was sort of like, I guess she probably she ever take it off? Because she was sort of like,
I guess she probably had like, on some lingerie
that she was probably going to reveal Lisa Rinna style,
but she was like, I wanna test the temperature of the room
because I don't wanna be the only one in lingerie.
And I don't think she ever took it off.
Yeah, I think she said, I'm waiting to see
what this, how this is gonna go before I take it off.
Yeah.
And then Mariah comes in saying,
hello honey.
Like she comes in as cat woman.
Yeah.
And then Dr. Jackie arrives.
And I just, for some reason, I was cracking up
because one of the strippers was just making himself
a little plate of cruditez while she walked in.
And I just love these.
I was like, I would enjoy, sir, like please, like,
you're, you know, like you're not working here at all.
Just like enjoy the free food.
And of course, Jackie chooses lace.
Right.
Of course.
She's the only one.
She's like in a little girl's all the way to her mac lace dress.
Yeah.
So, um, we learn that Toya is not there because her little kid
hurt himself, so she had to go the ER with him
So I was like wow, that's like very thematically appropriate for marriage medicine like you know hospital
Hospital stuff. Yeah, exciting and then
Everybody's like where's quad where's quad?
Sister circle sister circle sister circle. It's a sister circle emergency. Yeah, and she's like
It's a sister circle emergency. Yeah, and she's like it's a lot or have something to do with the article
And so they all start talking about the article and heaven leaves like
Well, I know she's busy, but you made a Jackie your searchers today. You made it Jackie very busy We're all very busy and your husband she's on you every single day
Talking about an auto show busy and your husband cheats on you every single day Auto show
So then it's time to get into the therapy so Tiffany Tiffany who actually I feel like seems like a very you know
Like I liked last I remember she said something something last year, I was like, oh, she like, she has a good handle on
this, you know, but sometimes these like therapists that come in,
these doctors that come in for these reality TV shows to do the
counseling or just like full of shit, you know, but Tiffany, I
liked Tiffany. So, but she has to like, I'm not for a whole lot
of bitchy to just like, okay, well, you know, are you going to
change or is he going to change? Because someones like, well, I do not want to have sex with him because as a human being,
he's a huge disappointment.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so Tiffany's just sort of moderating her conversation at this point and,
you know, like talking about Simone's sexiness getting lost and having to revive it and everything.
And she says, I'll never advocate just like there.
I'm being a pillow princess and just giving him what he wants just because
you feel like it's your job, you know, which I agree with.
And she's like, maybe their sex light is turned on when our sex light is turned
off. Yeah, exactly.
And by the way, and before that happens, Simone just starts like monologuing.
She's like, see,il left me in a situation and I felt like it couldn't have been dealt
with any other men than a divorce and Cecil, I'm like, isn't this supposed to be like
getting your sexy on and she's just going on and on about Cecil and he's left her in
a situation and now they watch TV like therapy on TV and everything
I'm like oh here it's like Simone once again just
Yeah, taking any opportunity to go off about Cecil. Yeah, so Tiffany says the thing about like
Yes, like you know you don't want to just be a pillow princess because his light might be on and yours might be off
And then heaven is like, but you still do it right yeah you do you
do you to have to me says and then everything goes it works for me and I'm gonna give it to him
every time he's woman I'm sorry and I'm gonna work and I'm gonna take care of the kids and I'm gonna work and I'm gonna take care of the kids. I'm gonna clean cuz I'm every woman.
And she's like, and I'm going to cook.
And someones like you are not going to cook.
Well then I'm gonna order from Uber Eats.
Yeah.
Which is pretty amazing.
It's just pretty amazing.
I love when Heavenly Ghosts on those like screaming and yelling monologues.
Oh, man, we're woman!
It's all in me!
Okay, wait me.
And she really did say that thing about Uber Eats.
Like, we're not, I thought a joke that we made up.
Like, that's, she was like,
Oh, Uber Eats!
And then Tiffany's like,
Okay, we're not talking about heavenly and the music stops.
This is like damn.
So Jackie starts choking up.
She's like, if I may, talk about your marriage.
Choking up.
Be healing process.
Some days I'm in.
Some days I'm out.
It's like, okay, Jackie, relax, okay, whatever.
It'll go Bachelor contestant.
And then she's like, the healing process is like a true cut.
And it takes time to heal the cut.
The further away you get from the cut.
I'm like, okay, Jackie, enough the cut.
And you're like the second one.
Can this just be about Simone?
No one will let it be about Simone.
What have learned about healing?
It's like Mr. Miyagi says,
Laxon, Laxolf.
Before you know it, you've cleaned your husband's car.
Paint on?
Paint off.
And that is how the PT cruiser turns purple.
So Jack feels like like she's like...
As girlfriends, we need to hold your hand and walk you through.
So tonight, if you want to play with these toys, and I have an legus...
Now, I'm back with friends!
Crash tags is the circle for real!
So...
Jack is the biggest freak in here! for real. So then having these in the spirit of sister-circling, I have
only reveals that she got Mariah a new poster because she ruined. She defaced
Mariah's previous poster, so she's so good. She gives her this poster and the
poster is basically it's a photo from when they did that photo shoot for Jackie's book, I guess two seasons ago when Jackie was not book,
that was, oh, maybe it's a book calendar, whatever it is, you know, that like breast cancer thing.
And so they did that photo shoot down in the islands.
And so there's that one shot of Mariah, like with holding like a parrot or something.
So she made a poster of it, which I was like, oh, that's nice.
I mean, like, I think it's sort of goofy that she made a poster of it. Which I was like, oh, that's nice. I mean, like,
I think it's sort of goofy that she got a new poster, but I was like, but it was nice.
And yeah, I thought so too. I'm Ryan unfroels it and she's like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
It's just because it's a pretty picture. It's because it's not. It's not. I cannot. I was 25
pounds bigger with a broken ankle, but I love me. I love me. So that's okay. I love me
I thought it was a nice picture too. I mean it was with her eyes half close and a parent on her shoulder
Wait, you know at a boot on her foot
It was I guess this stuff just fucking kills me.
Some Mariah tells us first she draws on my poster and then she blows up the worst pic
she can find.
I knew she was a dirty witch.
I just knew she was a dirty witch.
And then having these like it's a kind of gesture.
She goes, yes it is.
Yes it is.
You're a apologies.
Not shit to me. And then Mariah just goes on.
Because Mariah came in here.
She's like, I'm fine.
I'm going to be a full-time gas member.
I don't care what I have to do.
I'm going to fight with somebody every second of every day.
So she's ready to go off as Catwoman and her stupid whip.
And she does.
Yeah.
And she's like, you know what you can do with your apology?
You can kiss it.
And having to go, but your teeth are beautiful. Oh, no. She's like, well, why you know what you can do with your apology, you can kiss it. And heavenly goes, but your teeth are beautiful.
She's like, well why don't you fix yours and your husband.
It's like, whoa, okay.
And the rest of it comes out with the worst power dance.
And so heavenly, it's like, well,
and heavenly is so easily triggered, you know,
she goes, well, why don't you fix your husband
and his small stuff.
And the waiters, they cut to the waiters and they're like, girl!
They're like, girl, I had to stop picking up these cruditees, listen to this.
And Mariah is like, well I can't tell you, I do know a lot of people that have slept with Damien.
And she's like, that's who they are!
What is she talking about, baby?
Anta, daddy! Anta daddy, Anta daddy!
Do you want me to bring receipts? Cos I got receipts!
And then she starts marching around in a cat-women.
Yeah, and then they just are screaming.
I can't even parse what they're saying, but they're just screaming at each other.
It's all nonsense, and then Simone goes.
Curtis, then Greg Greg and now daddy
Who'd have thought Who'd have thought on this show that that would happen?
So finally contested just with like grabs Mariah and just like shoves her out like like here you stand next to four side fabrics
Okay, and
And I'm just drew on a picture. That's all I did daddy's and they're like
picture that's all I did daddy's and they're like yeah no I love my girl heavenly bed she's gonna need to do some remedial work in her spiritual
training so then Toya pulls up and she's like what do you do that?
yeah the bloody thing there I just got my kid out the hospital I want to drink
come on yeah so she convinces Maria to go back in so toy on Mariah go back inside
To the party and there's like this awkwardness because you know, it's like Mariah's back and Toya's like well
Yeah, I'm having like goes. I don't want her to know
Mariah goes I don't want her to think she can just run me off. I'm like you're the one who started screaming and yelling and then literally ran off.
Yeah, you're the one who, like,
ungratiously accepted the poster.
So, you know, I mean, that's Mariah's problem.
She's always, she's always been sort of so narcissistic
to believe that everything is an attack on her,
you know, that people care enough to do that.
Although Heavenly is shady enough to do an ugly poster of Mariah
to get at her, but Heavenly would also brag about it more. If she was going to get at Mariah
with a bad photo, intentionally, she would have been bragging, she would have been telling
us. She's like, I've had a photo that I think she would love.
It would be a terrible, terrible photo.
It wouldn't be some half-assing, you know.
Yeah, it wouldn't be a photo from a professional shoot.
That's for sure.
Right. And so they start, yeah, talking about Quad
and contestants like, well, I texted her the day that blog came out.
And Tori goes, did she respond?
She's like, yes, yes, she did.
It's like, well, that's weird.
That's somehow responded to Contessa.
Like we barely even remember that she's even here.
That's the weird that somebody responded to scab likely.
And so she's like, you know, I get it.
Quad is avoiding these ladies because they're not going to let her get away
with not talking about it. It's like Jackie last year, you know.
Yeah. And then someone was like, yeah, but you know, we're sisters,
or sister circles, so, you know, like, you're,
I'm sure you'd be happy to talk about it.
And like, and Jackie's like, uh-uh, like,
if I didn't have to talk about it with you girls,
I definitely would not have talked about it, you know?
And so then, you know, and then they're talking about like,
like why they talked about it, et cetera.
And someone just starts, someone's basically talking about like, like why they're talked about it, et cetera. And Simone just starts,
Simone's basically talking about how
Jackie and Curtis caught them by a surprise.
Like their separation wears quad and Gregory,
their thing going south was we sort of like,
they had a hint of it in New York.
And then for some reason,
Simone is like on her feet screaming.
Like, I was like literally she just screamed because she's doing her thing
She's like she's like you caught us by surprise and then like quad and Gregory they were fighting in New York
I'm like Simone. Why are you yelling right now? No one's in an argument with you. The only thing is this trapella is not out there with a
Detail story like she's screaming and yelling and Is this tranpella is not out there with a detailed story?
Like she's screaming and yelling and,
having these like,
Quad will take this as a personal attack.
And I'm like,
Quad, I'm like, Quad.
And whereas I,
knowing Quad the longest,
I'm like, shut up,
but right.
Yeah.
And also shut up,
haven't,
haven't heavenly and Quad,
but weren't they fighting all last season too?
Yes.
Is that how they're all acting?
Like, they didn't just sob at the reunion
for three hours over this whole thing.
Yeah.
And whereas, like, well, knowing quad the longest,
I can tell you, it's a protection mechanism for her.
And she thought she was protecting Greg.
And, you know, just know that when it comes to her,
just let you know just
let her know that you'd love her. You'd love her. I'm like,
are you please be quiet. No one asked you. Yeah. Like you've really done a great
job following that advice for the past five years. Yeah you really help protect
quad over there, Mariah. Exactly. So then we end the season with the same
sadness that we began it with. And the episode, but the episode with Quad.
Now it's time to go to bed and it's quad in her bouncy wig.
So I had eyelashes and she's getting ready for bed.
And those fingers are touching in the picture.
And then she goes in front of her mirror in the sea and the sink is full of rocks.
Yes.
Bed in the corner and rocks in the sea and the sink is full of rocks. Yes. Made in the corner and rocks in the sink. Quad, you are worthy.
You will not be broken.
You will not be shaken.
You will not be perturbed or disturbed.
Well, it all worked.
Conturbed.
You shall not be out of stock.
Quad, you shall be delivered in one to two business days.
So then they show this coming this season, which we don't have to go or because we were
going through it.
I just think this show is so perfect because of lines like this.
Contestus says, Eagles don't roll with chickens, so I'm not going to have anything to do with you ever. And then she's the chicken or the eagle.
I don't know, but I died. And I wrote that down. I was like, stop writing dead notes for
the egg. I wrote myself. And then it's Mariah Mariah because I'll pico the guy of that whore! What the hell? Yeah.
Well, it should be another interesting season of this show.
I'm sure there'll be lots of dumb arguments that pretty much start around group like ill-advised
group therapy scenes where whoever's leading group therapy is not licensed or trained.
Yeah, congratulations to that whole web therapy.
Business because they're really doing well on this show.
Yes, I'm looking forward to Simone arguing over that pico de gallo also being like,
salsa is very similar to pico de Gallo.
I'm gonna Pico de Gallo that home.
All right everybody,
thanks so much for listening to.
Forget to go get your tickets for DIN for next week,
New York in October, Seattle in November,
and Nashville in DIN's SIN for.
We will have some more dates to announce this week.
So check that out and we will talk to you soon.
Yeah, bye everyone. Bye everyone.
Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus
in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey
at Wondry.com slash survey.
tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.