Watch What Crappens - Painting on Orange County, and Racism (?) on Atlanta
Episode Date: February 22, 2012Also, Bethenny Returns and Top Chef Nears the EndSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https...://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast that's devoted exclusively to all things Bravo.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and joining me are Ronnie Karam from tvgasm.com.
Hello.
And Matt Whitfield, features editor at yahoo.com.
Hey guys.
So, wow, we have a lot of Bravo to get through. Isn't that always the case?
Yeah, there is a lot of crap in this toilet.
A lot of crap.
And we are the cyber plunger to get rid of it all.
So today we're going to be talking about the Real Housewives of Orange County,
the Real Housewives of Atlanta,
and we'll talk about the season premiere of Bethany Ever After.
We'll also get into Top Chef and some other stuff like Tabitha and Shaz the Sunset and the new Love Doctor, whatever it's called.
So we're going to touch on a bunch of different things today.
Is everyone excited?
Yes.
I'm so excited.
And don't forget, coming up, but we are Persian.
The Persian version of Jersey Shore.
But before we go to Persia, why don't we start in Orange County with the Real Housewives.
The fashions are just about the same.
They pretty much are.
A lot of gold, a lot of shininess.
Alexis Couture has really taken off, you guys.
Alexis Couture is very popular in Westwood, I hear.
It's all over Little Armenia.
They have really great restaurants in the OC.
Don't knock it.
Don't knock it, Heather.
Oh, well, let's just start right there because that's a very funny point that you brought up.
Let's talk about Heather on last night's episode.
I am continually going back and forth on whether or not I sort of love this high- bitch or think she's just a high maintenance bitch.
What do you guys think?
Well, you know, while I was watching her, I just watched this episode last night.
And while I was, oh, it was just on last night, wasn't it?
Yes, it was.
Well, while I was watching her, I thought, you know, I love these shows because idiots are so proud of being fucking obnoxious.
I mean, that woman thinks she is so charming and she is so fucking obnoxious.
Someone has to have told her
over the course of her life
that she's got to stick up her ass.
The funny thing is the husband,
you know, she makes it out like the husband
is the asshole in the relationship
and it's so the other way around.
The husband seems great.
I love the guy.
He seems like really funny
and approachable and nice.
Well, you marry an old man comic from the Catskills.
What do you expect?
It's not like you married Brad Pitt, all right?
You married some old rich dude, and now you have to deal with it.
Yeah.
I'm also convinced that had the waitress at the restaurant handed her the menu closed, she would have made a fit about that as well.
Like, oh, what?
You're not going to open it for me, bitch?
Yeah, you know, when she made that whole
stink about the menu, at first
I was like, who the fuck does this bitch think
she is to use a menu closed when it
comes to her? But then she kind of like stated
her case very well, and that was an example
of me going back and forth. I was like,
oh, you know, I sort of like where
she's coming from on that, you know? But maybe I'm just crazy. No, I was like, oh, you know, I sort of like what, I like, I like where she's coming from on that, you know?
But maybe I'm just crazy.
No, I don't because I'm a waiter, so I do not approve.
Okay, listen.
She's, she's technically right.
Yes.
When someone sits down, you should not just hand them the menu open, but they're trying
to, they're assuming that you're a moron and that you can't open the menu.
Which is true for Money Is Women probably.
It's, it is true that when you see someone like her come into your restaurant and sit down,
you know that she's going to be a pain in the ass.
That bitch is lucky I wasn't her waiter.
I would have bought her a whole meal.
I would have just been like, welcome, here's your salad, your entree,
get the hell out of here as fast as you can.
I don't want to put up with that crap.
Well, that wait staff has got to have been happy that there were cameras there
because you know if Bravo cameras were not not there i should have sent back that sea
bass about five different times well ronnie let me ask you this as a category expert if i had
walked into your restaurant and asked for a skinny piece of fish could i have gotten one
because she didn't get what she ordered a skinny piece of fish no you know what i would have done
i would have said sure and then i would have uh when that order came up, I would have just cut it with a butter knife.
Now, granted, that's more than that waiter did.
Well, you know what's funny? I mean, her whole rationale was she wanted a skinny piece of fish because when you steam it, sometimes in the middle, it's not quite cooked.
She wanted a skinny piece of fish because she is a skinny piece of fish.
She is a skinny piece. She because she is a skinny piece of fish. She is a skinny piece.
She's a walking eel, basically.
But basically, if you want your fish cooked properly, go to good restaurants, of which there apparently are none.
There are none in the OC because everybody's name is Timree and they're painting students.
Look, this woman sold her womb for a lot of money to some old guy, and now she's not important and famous like she wants to be so she tortures waiters and anybody
else in her way so she can
make them feel poor and herself rich.
It's typical. It happens with every
rich asshole and living in LA
I've dealt with plenty of them.
I want her out of my restaurant.
I don't care about her tip
and I'm going to yelp her ass.
We should really have some sort of organized Orange County protests and have it at her doorstep.
We need a road trip down to the OC.
I have never experienced this.
We should go on an OC restaurant tour.
Wait, have you?
Well, it's going to be a bad restaurant tour because there are no good restaurants in the OC.
Haven't you been listening?
Excuse me.
I don't trust anything Alexis says.
No, no, no, no. Alexis was the one who said there were good restaurants in the OC. Haven't you been listening? Excuse me, I don't trust anything Alexis says. No, no, no. Alexis was the one who said there were good
restaurants.
Alexis was like, did you forget about Applebee's?
That's exactly what I was thinking.
Because those buffalo wings are
amazing.
She's like, Wild West buffalo wings.
Yeah, you know, I actually kind of
loved it when Vicky kind of shook her head.
She was doing pretty much all episodes.
She was doing that little sort of very tightly shaking head and going, no, no, no good restaurants in the OC.
You have to go up to L.A.
I was like, wow, even Vicky concedes there are no good restaurants.
Well, now that Vicky has a high-class boyfriend from the Bayou who has business up in L.A., she gets to go up to the Ivy.
She's so classy.
I don't know.
So far, Vicky's doing pretty well on the food front.
She was the one who introduced high-low culture to the girls,
and the girls did not get it.
So, so far, she does have a point.
I mean, you do have to go to LA for the good restaurants
unless you want to go to, like Ronnie said, Applebee's or Claim Jumper.
Oh, Daddy Jane.
I love a Claim Jumper.
Outback.
I do love me a Blooming Onion, blooming onion though well those ladies don't understand anything
you give them crawfish and they're like a trash bag full of fish you get you take them to a
painting party and they were all acting like she was asking them to come over and paint her house
no they were no they were like do i need to bring overalls bitch i don't paint your house
no let's let's get real they were acting as if they had to bring overalls? Bitch, I don't paint your house. No, let's get real.
They were acting as if they had just been asked to put together an iPod or something like that.
Like, I don't know how to paint.
I mean, you know what you do?
You dip a brush in some paint and then you swipe around a little bit on the canvas.
And you know what?
You know what's really disturbing to me?
I'm just realizing as I speak about this, because of this episode last night, I had a dream that I was in a painting class painting shit.
That's how much this show is getting
into my subconscious. I think that we should podcast
from Color Me Mine
next week. I think that they should hook us up
with a sponsorship. I think we should find Timree
if that's even her real name.
Okay, let's just discuss that. Vicky
is the biggest bitch on the face of the earth.
I know, like, why not just drop it?
She was just like, you know, okay.
Was your mother drinking?
She doesn't know this woman. She said, was your mother drinking
when she named you in the hospital?
I know.
She's right. That is such a made-up name.
It's another thing that they just can't
understand. If it's not white bread
and watching TV
and drinking wine out of a box,
they do not understand.
Painting?
Crawfish?
What's your name?
Sarah?
Tim?
What?
Well, to be fair, you do have to question anyone named Timree
who has a little painting studio in Orange County.
I mean, you know.
She probably charged them $90,000, so I'm like, steal their money.
You go, girl.
You know, there's got to be a backstory to that, though.
Some failed RISD girl who had to go back to Newport Beach to live with her parents and opened up a tiny – some tiny little studio for little kids and probably gets wasted at a bar on Huntington Beach at night.
I got it all planned out.
Timree, the epic story.
Well, I love that everyone's so shocked by a stupid name in California.
Like where have you been living?
You've never heard the name Timree before.
You've never heard a made-up BS name before.
Yeah, exactly. And you know what? Timree,
to be honest, was hardly that, like,
hippie and crazy. She seemed like
a relatively normal person, despite my
little backstory I just made for her.
So I love that we're into this
podcast, and all we're talking about
are the name of the
girl and waiter etiquette
that's pretty much what it all comes down to you know well let's talk about vicky's head
spinning around in circles when she got jealous with uh with gretchen and tamra becoming faux
new besties ah that was great i kind of feel like gretchen and tamra are almost acting like besties
because they know it's gonna piss vicky so much, and it's too funny to watch.
Well, and watch what happens afterwards. Tamara admitted that they were trying to get under Vicky's skin, but, you know, they were joking, but Vicky is honestly upset.
That's a lot of leathery skin to get under, I'll tell you.
Well, they're doing – you know, we owe them some thanks because last year Vicky was on the moral high road the whole time.
And that's not a trip I want to take with Vicky.
That's not a road. I want my Vicky crazy and screaming.
I want potholes in that road.
I want Vicky upset.
I do have to say I love Vicky when she has that shocked face, when her mouth – when her jaw drops and her eyes bulge and her head, it sort
of like vibrates left and right. It's not really
a shake. It's just like a minor movement, you know?
She sort of looks like a dog that's been like squirted
in the face with a water gun or something like that.
You mean with a
Sauvignon Blanc gun?
Yes. Oh, I forgot
to, I have to load up my Sauvignon Blanc gun
for this podcast.
Shoot it right in my mouth. Ah, that sounded really bad.
That's what she said.
I think last week
we had a balls reference, and now...
So do you guys think that Tamara and
Gretchen are real friends? What's going on?
Do you go sex shopping with your friends?
When are we going to the Hustler store? Go.
Well, I find these so interesting
because on these shows, none of these women
are friends. You know, when they start the new season, they're like, hey, I haven't seen you for six months.
It's like these shows are basically like here's a group of people that you hate.
Now have fun hanging out for six months.
Let's see what happens.
I'm not sure it's as drastic as that.
I don't think that they're close.
I think these girls more or less are like acquaintances
and so they are sort of happy to see each other
when they first walk into a room.
I get the sense that Gretchen and Tamara
are, you know, I think they're okay
now. I don't think they'll be besties, but
I feel like there's a lot of beauté going
on between them, so
Mazel Tov. Mazel Tov
to dumb blondes liking each other.
Okay, but can Alexis and Vicky now be a tag team to take on Tamara and Gretchen?
I don't think Vicky's having any of that shit.
Well, it looks like Alexis wants that. Alexis got super passive-aggressive.
They were blaming Vicky for being passive-aggressive.
It was Alexis who was the one making jokes about the bracelet with the lock or whatever.
I'm like, shut your fucking mouth, you stupid woman.
The best joke she was making were towards, um,
Heather,
when Heather was trying to be an uptight,
classy bitch who doesn't talk about the sex that she had,
the sex that she doesn't have with her husband.
Lex has called her ass out.
Alexis actually made me laugh.
Like it's very rare that Alexis can make me laugh.
Cause I find her to be incredibly vapid with a bad sense of humor.
But when they were talking about,
I guess Alexis made some self deprecating joke about like painting not being her strong point or heather said that and then
alexis said well what is your strong point and heather's like well acting uh i used to run an
18 piece uh big band orchestra or something like that and alexis is like your strong point is
acting and just she just cracked herself up and i was like you know what, Alexis? I'm with you on that one. Like Ashley said, who says that?
The strong point is acting.
Meanwhile, Alexis is probably like, my strong point is anchoring for Fox 5.
Oh, my God.
I love when they show, are you more like, what did they say?
Are you more like Barbara Walters or Katie Couric?
And the look of confusion on her face that her name isn't Katie Couric.
It's hilarious.
She's like, who?
Who now and what now?
Aren't you secretly, though, Team Alexis?
I mean, last week she was actually right
when she was like,
Peggy, I don't have time to talk to you.
And then this week she puts Heather in her place.
I thought it was,
I'm like, I'm secretly Team Alexis.
Okay, just because Alexis has been able
to string together two coherent,
non-idiotic points
does not make her a wonderful person. Okay, most people can
do that in five minutes time.
It shouldn't take a season and a half or two seasons
to have finally two salient
points. Okay, well don't get me wrong, I
still hate Tamara with all of my being, and let's
talk for a second about her fight with Eddie, because
last night on that episode
she realized that she could lose
the hottest piece of ass she's ever had, and
she lost her shit. Yeah, but didn't we... But I think she also realized that she could lose the hottest piece of ass she's ever had, and she lost her shit.
Yeah, but didn't we—
But I think she also realized that she's kind of with the controlling ass.
Yeah, I was about to say, didn't we see echoes of Simon all of a sudden?
He wasn't throwing a dog leash at her head.
Come down.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Not yet.
First he's saying, I think we should stop drinking, at which point you can see Tamara had this look on her face like,
I'm waiting for you to say, just kidding.
Please say it, you know? She's like, I'm waiting for you to say, just kidding. Please say it.
She's like, I'm going to need a
glass of champagne to digest that order.
For those people, for those of you
who didn't watch, here was
their post-fight conversation.
Remember how we had that fight
last night? I'm really sorry about that.
Yeah, I just don't like you letting guys touch
your boob. Yeah, but I don't like you touching
Vicky's boob. Alright, we're over it, right? Yeah, we're over it. I don't like you letting guys touch your boob. Yeah, but I don't like you touching Vicky's boob. All right, we're over it, right?
Yeah, we're over it.
I don't like you letting guys touch your boob.
I don't like you letting Vicky touch you.
All right, we're over it, right?
Yeah.
Let's stop drinking.
I don't like when guys touch your boob.
I was like, are these guys fucking kidding?
Stop the loop.
This fight is ridiculous.
Does anybody honestly believe that that hot piece of man meat is after Vicky's cement-filled, scarred-ass, hot hole boobies?
No.
You forgot the most important part where Tamara the entire time was sick and almost vomiting into Eddie's mouth.
Oh, well, the best part is the way the scene opened.
The scene opened with the camera on a bathroom, and then Tamara comes out and is like, whoo!
It's like, oh, she just had some diarrhea.
She smells like diarrhea and vomit, and then she's cuddling up on her man yeah well um well i liked
is that she's like you know i don't care that you were touching vicky i was drunk and then
all of a sudden she's like just don't touch vicky it's like these two it's like the rules the
parameters that they have set it's going to lead to dog leash throwing i'm telling you right now
well no man no man fixes a problem with me by suggesting I stop drinking.
I mean, that's a ticket out the door right there.
Oh, it's beyond a red flag.
It's a deal breaker.
Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, you can't be sober and on the real housewives of any franchise.
It just does not work out that way.
You know what's also a deal breaker?
If my man thinks that he's a stand-up comedian when he's not.
Oh, yeah.
Slade.
We're going to see a lot of that next week on next week's episode.
But, yeah, Slade got an opportunity to do a bit at the improv, which this has to be the improv of Anaheim or wherever it is because I do not believe.
This is not Sunset Strip, honey, no.
This is not on Melrose Avenue.
It was.
No, it was.
Yes, it was. It was. No, it was. Yes, it was.
It was because I got emails inviting me to go from somebody.
I don't even know who it was.
We need a wall between Orange County and L.A., not between Mexico and Texas.
I think that's a great point.
We need customs.
I will be Border Patrol.
Can we have an embargo?
An embargo. They're not taking our jobs, but God damn it, they're embarrassing. We need customs. I will be border patrol. Can we have an embargo?
An embargo.
They're not taking our jobs, but God damn it, they're embarrassing.
They're taking our comedy.
Slade is taking our comedy hosting jobs, by the way.
Well, next week we find out Brianna has cancer.
Okay, can cancer please be in real life how it is on the housewives? Because cancer just sounds awesome on the housewives.
It's like, oh, my God, I get some testimonials and a couple weeks off work.
The end.
And then they poop it out or something.
I don't know how all this cancer just leaves these ladies.
But cancer looks like the most awesome disease ever.
Unless you're Gretchen's dead husband.
Oh, too soon.
I'm just saying.
It's not all Rosie.
Well, he could have died of lots of things.
He was old. He was like, wait a second.
I'm on this awful show. I just give up.
Well, I'm secretly like,
I love Brianna, and
I loved at the end of last
year that she hated her mother for being evil to Don.
So I hope that they have an awkward encounter at a Chili's knockoff where she tells her that she has cancer and then she throws some wine on her or something.
By the way, though, getting back to Slade, so what do we think about this whole thing where they found out that Slade and Gretchen found out that Vicky's new boyfriend, Brooks,
has gone to jail twice for not paying child support, etc., etc.
Slade got really fired up.
How can you not agree with him? You have to agree with Slade.
You have to agree with him, except here's the truth.
I mean, Vicky was saying he doesn't pay his child support or whatever.
The real reason why Vicky doesn't like him is the same reason why everyone else doesn't like him.
He's just a sleazeball.
I'm sorry, he's a sleazeball and he's an asshole.
Why?
Excuse me.
Why is he a sleazeball and an asshole?
If we don't know the details of his financial situation with the ex-wife and the children, take that out of the equation.
I am taking it out of the equation.
I'm basing it on what we've seen of him just on screen.
He is a fame whore. and he's an asshole and you know
how you know how you can tell he's an asshole you watch season one and you see him being an asshole
and then you watch season two and you see him being an asshole and then all of a sudden you
watch like the latest few seasons where he's trying to be all funny and nice and you're like
that's not who you are you're just being an asshole and then you watch last night's episode
and you see when this guy gets under his skin. He becomes a real asshole about it.
Five episodes ago, were you the same person?
No.
Yes, I was.
Hey, who are you guys talking about?
Slade.
Oh, yeah, that guy's an asshole.
Sorry.
I got sidetracked for a second.
You're so wrong.
That guy is horrible.
He's horrible.
He's an asshole.
And now he's losing his looks.
So it's going to be awesome because now he's just going to be plain mean.
Like at least he had that going for him before.
You're like, oh, my God.
Well, he's kind of hot.
So at least he'll give me a boner.
But now he's just gross.
If he loses his looks, he'll be on Gretchen's level then because we saw her without makeup last week and clearly.
Yeah, but I was going to say, but she was looking great last night.
She's been looking good all season, I have to say.
Even with her strange teeth situation
going on and, you know...
You liked her side pony?
I did, yeah.
Can I just say one thought about Gretchen?
I love how these ex-strippers
are so holier than thou once they stop stripping.
I have a friend who used to be a stripper,
and once she quit, I mean, this girl,
anything you do, she's like, oh, my God, the F word in public?
I cannot believe you just did that.
It's like, bitch, you were rubbing your coochie on old-ass helicopter penis before, and now you're all churchy.
What the hell, Gretchen?
Every time anybody says anything sexual, she's like, I can't believe it.
I can't believe she was talking about
sex shops and all that. No, Gretchen was okay
with the sex shop talk.
It was Heather who had the real issue.
Yeah, last night it was Heather.
Gretchen was all pissy about
something last night.
I'm sure.
She was probably pissy about Alexis or whatever.
So anyway,
should we move on to Atlanta? How do we feel about moving on to atlanta speaking about former strippers yes nini let's go um so this
episode was episode three in our african adventure and uh gosh what happened on this episode they
just went on safari yet again the most important part is that Sheree, in theory, threw candy under the bus.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That was a dumb argument.
But you know what, though?
It was kind of amazing because it was one of those dumb arguments that looks like it's going to just continually pop up and pop up and cause dumbass drama for the next five episodes.
Okay, well, I'm going to put this out there, and this is a little scandalous right now, but I think that Cynthia
does not like white people.
Really? Why do you say that?
Because she was talking major shit on Kim
during that safari ride, and, you know, they were
not looking at the animals, they were talking about Kim.
And Candy and Cynthia
kind of agreed with each other that, like,
they couldn't see Kim at
an African orphanage, nor could they
see her holding black babies.
And I just thought that was really offensive.
Well, to be fair, can anybody imagine Kim holding African babies?
It wasn't because she was white.
Can you see Nini at one of those orphanages in Louboutins?
I mean, they all are ridiculous.
No, but I'm saying, you know, I don't think they were saying it because she was white and she was afraid of, like, black little babies, you know, like heart of darkness situation.
I think it was because Kim can be a spoiled brat and she'd be like, I don't want to get dirty, you know.
And I don't I think that would be the issue.
Not because they're little.
I think she said picking up little black babies.
I don't think that she meant because they're black.
I think she was just using it as a descriptor, you know, sort of to be funny.
I don't think that Candy thought, you know, Kim is racist.
But I kind of got that air from like – I think that essentially Cynthia was calling Kim racist.
And in turn, as a white male –
As a sensitive white male.
As a sensitive white male during Black History Month.
It made me think that Cynthia was actually
racist.
Oh, you guys. Okay, look.
First of all,
yes, they were being racist and saying
Kim would, they can't imagine
this big blonde idiot with big
giant fake boobs and a wig
holding black babies.
Okay, of course they were being racist, and they're right.
And of course
they don't like Kim
because she's an idiot white girl.
Most black girls don't like idiot
white girls like Kim who fuck old
dudes for money and come in on their
territory trying to take the men
that they could get when white women are
already stealing all their men. Now they're stealing
their money in Atlanta too.
I don't blame them for hating Kim, and I totally agree that it would be ridiculous watching Kim.
It's like when I saw Miley Cyrus go to Idol Gives Back Africa tour or whatever.
I was like, are you kidding?
Your dad's sitting there in a weave, and you guys are handing out little tiny tubes of toothpaste to these little kids.
Where's their toothbrushes?
How stupid are white people?
a toothpaste to these little kids.
Where's their toothbrushes?
How stupid are white people?
I personally think, yes, it would be ridiculous to see Kim in an orphanage, which is why I hope that on her spinoff show, they do send her to Africa and they do send her to an orphanage
because I would love to see what she will do.
I think she'll probably pass out glasses of Chardonnay and bags of Chick-fil-A and cigarettes.
She will make Sweetie pass out glasses of Chardonnay for her.
She'll sit on a little plastic folding chair. Shez Lounge, and she'll be like,
Sweetie! Sweetie! Give her Chardonnay!
Real!
You know what? I miss Kim.
Real! Where's the Chardonnay?
That baby needs to grow up fast, because Kim needs to be drinking Chardonnay and smoking cigarettes.
It's not right when she's not doing that.
I know, and Kim's now all sort of, like, grounded and pleasant, which is sort of weird.
I don't know what to do about that.
Well, Kim is sleeping with a young man, not a dirty old penis that's on an 80-year-old man.
I'd like to see Kim serenade the orphans too with some of her greatest hits, you know.
Ring and mean the thing.
Well, also I think Kim is nice and calm now because she's famous.
And Nene's whole jealousy thing about Kim and being the prom queen and everybody loves Kim now.
Yeah, it's like the Bethany syndrome all over again.
Here's Kim.
She's become the most popular because NeNe turned into a witchy cow over the past few seasons.
So everyone hates her now.
So now Kim's like the big star of the show.
She got her own show.
And Kim does act like
she's a prom queen.
And I think that, you know,
you become famous and you suddenly feel like you
have to be classy all of a sudden. Well, you know what?
She also wound up in a good
situation. I mean, the guy, he's
a good looking guy. He seems really nice.
He's rich. He loves guns.
He has guns of both variety.
So, you know, what does she have to be all like diva about?
She can just sit back and let the servants come to her.
Although I hear she and Sweetie no longer talk.
Do one of you guys tell me that?
Yeah, she fired Sweetie.
I guess that'll be coming up soon.
Good.
You know, Sweetie is worthless.
I'm sorry.
She's totally worthless.
Maybe Kim is racist.
God, she totally is.
I hate her now.
They're all racist. You know, the show is kind of racist if you think about it.
It's like, let's show some African-American stereotypes.
I cannot wait for the time in this country when we can just hate each other without calling each other racist.
I agree. I agree. And you know what's going to help us do that? The Shaz of Sunset.
Yeah, that'll be really good.
But we are Persian!
Wait, before we get the Shahs of sunset though um what do you talk about marlo doing candy on the floor um what what um they
were sitting around talking about sex after they looked at uh marlo's 29 pairs of shoes and then
just started humping everybody oh yeah i was gonna going to talk about the medicine man, but we can talk about Marlo at the sleepover.
I think I just talked about it.
That's all.
She doesn't deserve any more screen time.
Let's talk about how Sheree is never going to get married again because she's an old donkey.
That medicine man was awesome.
I thought those women were going to go off on that medicine man way more than they did.
I mean they looked like they wanted to stab him in the eyeball.
Well, I think it's hilarious because the guy sits him down.
He won't touch them because they're women.
He'll only touch men.
And also because he has good sense.
I don't know if I would touch them either.
These women are so shocked at the backwards-ass politics.
Like when they had to go to that museum and the guy's like,
yes, I see a pretty woman.
I tell my father,
oh, I like this woman.
And my father go to fetch her.
And they're like,
so does she have a choice?
No, she has no choice.
She gets fetched.
And they're like,
you can just,
that's kidnapping, right?
I also liked how the women weren't allowed to touch
The little shells
And the medicine although Marlo should have been able to
Because as we all know Marlo is a man
So I don't see the problem there
But who is he telling was unhappy
Was it Nini he was like no no you're not happy
You're not happy
He's like no I am very happy
No no you're not happy
Marlo's happy you're not happy. Marlo's happy.
You're not happy.
You don't have to be much of a psychic to see that she's a miserable bitch.
And then she got all mad.
She wanted to prove that she was happy.
It's like you can't do that if you're on the show every single episode saying how you're quietly unhappy and trying to take care of that part of your life.
I just like them calling Sharia Hag.
That was hilarious.
You're too old. You're too old.
You're too old.
I wish she'd gone off on him.
I wish old Sheree was there.
But then I love in the same episode, she's like, I can't wait to get home.
You know I'm going to get some home cooking.
And they're like, from who, your mom?
She's like, she better cook me a meal.
Poor, poor, forever single Sheree waiting to get a mommy meal at home yeah isn't
she like 46 what's going on maybe she should call up uh dr tayyid muhammad or whatever his name was
and maybe rekindle that affair i will put a bet out right now that he is behind bars yeah uh i
just hope that he gets that weird um balding pattern in the middle of his hair uh fixed i
think he had dreads for too long and and he now has a Red Sea situation going
down his scalp.
Look at me making jokes about a guy who was on
a season ago. Very
current. Very current. It's like, oh, guys,
remember last year? I forgot to make this joke.
Let me just say it real quick.
Well, what about Marlo
trying to get everybody to be honest
with her, and then Candy's like, well,
all I was saying is that here we are in Africa
and all you're talking about are your shoes
and she's like, I don't
care about brands!
I was like, whoa! When did this turn
into Red Skelton?
Whoa!
I love brands!
I'll tuck my shoes on if I want to!
I love fashion!
I love fashion.
I love fashion.
And then none of the other women had the balls, and then we know half of them do have
balls, to back Candy up.
Yeah.
Candy was left out there.
You gotta give a few props to Cynthia
for having the restraint. I mean, Cynthia could have
one-upped Marlo so many times, and she kept
her mouth shut, you know? She kept her mouth shut because she looks at Nini, and Nini is like, shut up, dog.
Yeah, exactly.
And also she's boring, so she won't open her mouth to say something interesting anyway.
Although, what did you think about Cynthia, like, hanging out with the Smalls and then, like, kissing ass at the Talls?
She is a backstabbing, two-timing hoe, and I just think she needs to get off the show because she does nothing but talk behind everybody's backs.
She does.
I mean Exhibit A is two episodes ago when that whole fiasco with the dinner party and the restaurant.
I mean could it be more ridiculous?
She's a typical model idiot.
She's just trying to be friends with everybody so that she can get along in life.
It's not like she does anything else.
The girl needs friends.
Not anything else.
She has an agency, Ronnie.
She has a full-fledged agency.
She's making Atlanta the fourth fashion capital of the world.
And her husband, Peter, has a thriving business in the ghetto.
Yes, with an oversized portrait of Cynthia on the wall.
So excuse me if I don't agree with you that she does.
Well, until Pee in the Pod becomes the biggest chain store in the world, there's not going to be many modeling jobs for Cynthia's clients.
I'm sorry.
She's probably taking every fat ass in Atlanta, charging them a lot of money.
And when are those girls going to work?
Those girls on America's Next Top Model barely even work, and they're on TV.
And they've got Tyra behind them.
Well, I don't know.
Tim Rhee might need some models for her painting studio.
So I'm thinking there might be some synergy going on between the housewives.
So speaking of housewives, I believe we mentioned Bethany's name earlier.
I think her name was Invoked.
Oh, my God.
I'm so rich.
I can't believe how rich I am.
I finally made it.
I used to sleep in my car.
Now look at me.
Look at my apartment. Look how big everything is. Oh, my God. I'm so famous. Look at all believe how rich I am. I finally made it. I used to sleep in my car. Now look at me. Look at my apartment. Look at how big everything is.
Oh my God, I'm so famous. Look at all the cameras.
Hey guys, why are you taking my pictures so much?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm famous!
So, Bethany,
as
depicted by Ronnie,
is back with Bethany ever
after. This is season two, although it's really
season three because there was Bethany
getting married or something like that.
But I actually totally missed the episode because I forgot about it.
Did you hate her or did you just accidentally miss it?
Well, I've always said this.
I like Bethany, but I think a little Bethany goes a long way.
I like her as part of the Housewives.
I think Bethany ever after, it's entertaining.
But I don't know if I need to see an hour of Bethany every single week.
But I'll watch it now, now that we're doing this podcast.
So tell me what I missed out on.
Bethany's famous.
Bethany's famous and is buying even a nicer, bigger apartment.
Really?
Where?
Where is she buying an apartment?
I don't know.
I don't think they said where it was.
The enthusiasm is off the walls.
Well, okay. Beth, I was going to let Matt go because I know The enthusiasm is off the walls. Well, okay.
Beth, I was going to let Matt go because I know he really likes it.
But Bethany, okay.
Bethany is really famous now, in case you didn't hear.
And her marriage already sucks because she married a boring guy with a stick up his ass.
Yes.
And she goes to a shrink and tapes it, which I really love because they didn't learn anything from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
And what else happened?
She hangs out with Lisa Lampanelli,
which made me like her because they talked about a lot of dirty stuff.
Is she still hanging out with Ramona and Alex?
No, no Ramona, no Alex sightings, but I'm pretty sure we'll see them,
you know, when she has a housewarming party for her glamorous new apartment.
Because she likes Alex, right? She likes Alex a lot.
I think that she's actually closest to Ramona, but I think she's still friends with both of them.
I think now Bethany is at that point where she doesn't even go to Brooklyn.
Yeah.
I'm shocked.
It's sort of funny that Bethany and Ramona are really close.
I mean, especially – we all remember that Brooklyn Bridge saga.
When they went for a delightful little stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge and Ramona pretty much just like just destroyed all of Bethany's life over the span of the river.
Do you remember that?
She was like, well, you're going to ruin everything, like everything else in your life.
You ruin everything.
You hate people.
You destroy everything.
They're smart because they're clinging to each other because Ramona's like, oh, I can get some screen time on Bethany.
And then Bethany is staying friends with Ramona.
She's the star now of New York because they gutted that cast.
I'm sorry. I see what Ramona
gets from hanging on to Bethany. I don't
see anything that Bethany gets from hanging on
to Ramona except a few free bottles
of Pinot Grigio.
That is true.
I doubt they hang out, though. Do you think they actually hang
out in real life?
Probably at parties. I'm sure if Ramona
has a party, she invites Bethany
and vice versa.
Party friends.
Yeah, she might weekend
at her house in the Hamptons
with her.
Yeah.
A little girls getaway.
Yeah.
Something fun like that.
Take Cookie, you know.
Yeah.
How is Cookie these days,
by the way?
We didn't see much of Cookie.
I think that Brynn
has killed Cookie.
Oh, that makes sense.
Just like Snowball.
Aw. Maybe Snowball and Cookie could cookie could like have little puppies together are they the same sex though academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla
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really was boring and i don't know why what happened what happened on this episode you guys i gave you the whole recap like five minutes ago that was literally the whole show she was like oh
my god it's so crazy being rich oh my god look at this i'm rich i'm rich i'm rich martina margarita
and she does talk a lot about like camel toes and everything comes back to her like there's
she's obsessed with her vagina i think she has you know the thing with bethany is that there's
sometimes when i think with her
that she has no shame.
I know that goes for a lot of these women,
but I remember in the first season
of Bethany Getting Married, there was an episode
where she peed on camera into
a bucket in her wedding dress. I was like,
really?
She had a couple of really good lines.
One of them, she was like,
it's hard to keep the romance alive
when your baby just took a crap on the floor.
Well, that's funny.
She has good one-liners. And we also learned
that Bethany hates sex and
will not have sex with her man.
Which was kind of fascinating.
She got to lock that down.
You can't complain for that many seasons on The Real Housewives
about not having a man. And then you get one and you don't have sex
with him?
Well, look, he kind of sucks.
He does.
He's boring.
Well.
Jason Hoppy.
I mean, his last name is ridiculous.
Well, and his family.
I'm sorry, but when you get married to somebody, it is not your obligation to hang out with your husband's family 24-7, especially when his mom goes to church on a daily basis.
I'm sorry.
His expectations are way too high. especially when his mom goes to church on a daily basis. Like, I'm sorry. Like he has way,
like his expectations are way too high.
Clearly he did not watch the first few episodes or first few seasons of
real housewives of New York.
He did not know he was getting into,
but is it,
you guys,
that guy is married to Bethany.
I mean,
I think we should let him,
if he murdered somebody,
I'd be like,
it's okay.
He's married to Bethany.
I mean,
he puts up with that.
He can,
he,
he can do whatever he wants.
He is probably going to flip out one day.
But don't you think with the parents, it's like the producers were like, we need to add an element to this show, an element of conflict.
So let's have the parents in all the time.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, the conflict now is I'm so rich I don't know how to spend all my money.
I mean, really.
I mean, Ronnie's right.
Ronnie has turned me to the dark side.
I now hate her.
Okay.
Good. I'm glad you have that. Well, also the conflict is that their marriage
is terrible. They hate each other. It's
like they hate each other.
Do you think they hate each other
or do you think that is a contrivance
that the producers have put onto them?
It's for real. All she ever does, whether
she's talking to a girlfriend or talking to the
psychiatrist, all she ever says is
he makes me feel guilty. I'm the bad guy. i'm the horrible person and he's a saint and everybody loves him
and honestly i think that that is a real problem and i think yeah i don't know i think the clock
is ticking and you know what you know it's not a good way to combat that is to passive aggressively
attack him by or take him down by by talking behind his back on a tv show that he will
eventually see because that's basically what she's doing.
So that's not,
that's not going to be a healthy thing.
She also has the fame.
She has the money and she has the baby that she's always wanted.
So like,
really,
what does she need him for?
Sounds like she's calling all the shots in her life and she's got good aim.
Okay.
Tamara.
Okay.
Let's move on to a show that we actually all enjoy.
And that would be Top Chef.
We are moving out of the Housewife realm.
Is everyone okay with this?
I'm okay, and I'm ready to say this.
I am pissed because I love me some Bev.
I love Beverly.
Beverly was eliminated in the most previous episode, although there's a new episode tonight.
So by the time some people are listening to this, this may already sound a little dated.
Are they cutting somebody tonight?
Is it going to go down to a final two?
Are we going to get two hours on different weeks of just the three people competing?
They made it look like someone was going home tonight on the previews. Okay.
So I was definitely bummed for Beverly.
I love her.
I love her.
I don't.
I only like her because she's the kid that's always getting kicked, and so I feel like I have to like her. I love her. I don't. I only like her because she's the kid that's always getting kicked.
And so I feel like I have to like her.
Sort of in every season how there's that one who's always being bullied by the other chefs.
And I feel like I have to kind of like them.
You're right, Ronnie.
But in reality, I want her to get beat up.
No, I don't want to.
I like her.
But, Ben, Ronnie does have a point.
Bullying is so 2010.
Aren't we over it? I think she's very sweet. But then Ronnie does have a point. Bullying is so 2010. So –
Like, aren't we over it?
Well, then that means that we – that the bully should stop bullying because it's out of date.
It's not so much about the bullying.
It's – the truth is this.
She seems very sweet.
She seems like a total mess.
She's a scatterbrain.
I get that.
But she also makes stuff that looks like it's really good.
And she is bullied because it would be one thing if she was bullied by people that we liked.
And we're like, okay, they sort of have a point.
But she's bullied by assholes, okay?
She's bullied by Sarah.
Who, by the way, so Sarah bullies this girl all season long, is a total bitch, comes back for the finale and says she wants to be a nicer person.
And then in the finale, she's a bitch all over again to Beverly. Beverly
finally gets cut and then Sarah's like, oh,
I'm really so glad I got to share this
experience with you. Shut the fuck up.
That's the bulldog
sausage maker, right?
Yes, I believe so. Because I get her
confused with the blonde
little evil one. That's Lindsay.
I'm okay with Lindsay. No,
she's worse than the bulldog sausage maker. I would believe Lindsay would poison someone, though. That's Lindsay. I don't, I'm okay with Lindsay. No, she's horror. She's worse than the bulldog sausage maker.
I would believe Lindsay would poison someone though.
That's for sure.
I just get that vibe.
I'm sorry.
I love this week because they all,
they all came back after watching themselves on the show.
And I love when that happens because everyone's so self-aware and they've
read all the stuff about themselves on the internet.
So I love that fat girl with bad haircut comes back and she's like i've decided to be a nice
person really cartman really now that you've read everybody dissing you on the internet now
you're gonna be a nice person and bitch could not even do it for one she could not last five
minutes being a nice person no she could not it was
awesome now you know one thing that happens with the finale is the one of the the traditions is
that everyone comes back with a new haircut so what let's what do we all think about everyone's
haircut um paul paul uh has now gotten rid of his little buzz cut and has like this weird comb over
thing i wasn't sure i loved i like paul with the buzz cut anyone notice i'm just gonna put this out there like um i haven't really been into asian dudes
in the past but like paul kind of does it for me oh yeah really yeah he does he's cute that's why
he's cute paul does it for me because he can cook and you know he's got weed
he might even join both those things together.
Yeah, those are two very good qualities in a man.
A man who will get you high
and then feed you when you get the munchies.
You win.
Please take the win.
Yeah, I don't think Sarah would necessarily do that.
You know, Beverly might have that too, by the way.
What, because she's so in outer space?
Beverly does not smoke weed.
You don't think so? No. I still think she's so in outer space. Beverly does not smoke weed. You don't think so?
No.
I still think she's a virgin,
even though she has a child.
I think she's got that big old tat on her arm.
Of course she smokes weed.
I think every time she has sex,
her vagina closes back up again,
right afterwards.
And she becomes a virgin again,
every single time.
That's how much,
that's how much of a tight ass that girl is.
I think Beverly,
I think that she's like a little, she's, I think Beverly is a little more naughty than you guys are giving her credit for.
You don't get half a sleeve by being an angel, okay?
I love how now you think everybody with tattoos are dirty hookers.
Well, not necessarily that, but I'm saying they're not necessarily the purest snow white or whatever.
You know, I think they're –
Well, she is Asian, not white, but yeah.
Yeah.
Well, unlike you, Matt, I don't see racism in every single term.
So can we just all – we're all rooting for Paul, clearly.
Yeah, clearly for Paul.
I would say Paul, then Lindsay, then Sarah.
Oh, actually, Sarah – here's the thing, actually.
Sarah, as much as she is a bitch, she does seem extremely talented, so maybe she's good.
Ben, all she makes is fucking sausage.
Ravioli and sausage. That's true. That's true.
Okay, Sarah's in third place now.
Well, I'm a carb fan, but I'm also going to root for Sarah because she's the biggest asshole on the show, and they usually win.
Yeah.
They almost always win.
And I like being right.
I think Paul is going to win, though, unless he has a major flop.
You know what I don't want to see happen?
Because this happens every single finale, I feel like.
It's down to make the biggest meal of their life, and then someone says, oh, you know what?
I'm going to sous vide something.
I've never done this before, but I'm going to give it a whirl.
And they do it, and it sucks, and they lose every single time i know didn't that happen to that
awesome girl like what was her name kelly or something in like colorado she's suvi and she
she had the win in her hand yes um because you know what it was it was um because that girl told
her that casey that evil rabbit tooth girl told her that's right she told caseothed girl told her to do it. That's right. She told Casey. Casey told her.
No, it was Carla.
Wasn't it Carla?
Yeah, it was Carla.
And Casey was like, you should sous vide this.
You should sous vide this.
And Carla was like, okay, I'll do that.
And then she failed.
And then later on, Casey went on to social media and was like, it was not my fault.
You're throwing me under the bus.
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
I was like, shut up.
Whatever.
It was your fault.
It worked out for both of them. Casey's in the
Healthy Choice commercials and Carla's on the chew.
Next. Yeah, and by the way, I've always
resented that Casey has always billed herself as
like, she would always say things like,
well, I guess, you know, as the quote-unquote hot
chef here, like sort of jokingly.
Yeah, you can't call yourself hot. I can
call you hot and I can determine that.
She would sort of say it in like a self-deprecating
way, like, I guess that's my role.
But I'm like, no, you are never the hot chef ever.
I'm sorry.
I don't think she said that.
Yeah, she said that one season.
She's like, well, I guess I'm, you know, the hot chef, whatever.
And it's like, no, you've never been the hot chef.
I don't think there's actually ever been a hot female chef on Top Chef.
It's not a show that's known for great female eye candy.
Well,
it's not really known for eye candy,
period. I mean, even their version
of cute guys aren't that cute.
I mean, Sam was cute way back in the day,
but this season they had that ex-fat
guy, and that
guy wasn't that cute, and they called him Malibu.
Yeah, he was okay. I mean, yeah, I guess
on a sliding scale, but you know, I always called him Malibu. Yeah, he was okay. I mean, yeah, I guess on a sliding scale.
But, you know, I always thought Trey was cute.
Remember Trey?
I'm team Spike, even with that dumb fedora.
Yeah, the dumb fedora was bad, but yeah, Spike.
People like the Michael Voltaggio actually quite a bit.
Not my type.
The twins?
Well, there's one hot one and one not hot one.
Well, there was one that was, like, hot and one who was just sort of, like, nice looking one hot one and one not hot one. Well, there was one that was like hot and one who was just sort of like nice looking.
The dirty tattoo one was hot.
The other one was boring.
You know what I can't say?
Oh, I thought the boring one was hot.
He looks like he makes more money.
Well, no, not right now.
Michael Voltaggio, his restaurant, Inc., here in Los Angeles is getting all these awards and being named like restaurant of the year and all that stuff.
So I think Michael is the one getting the money. Who who knows who cares right exactly let's talk about the shahs
of sunset yeah speaking of los angeles so i think we touched on this a little bit last week when is
the premiere this weekend next weekend sometime fifth i believe yeah oh fantastic i don't know i
think it's the 12th it's either the 5th or the 12th. So this is produced by Ryan Seacrest.
Do we think this will have the same appeal as Jersey Shore?
Okay, here's what grosses me out. It looks like it's one of those really, really bad shows that belongs on either E or VH1,
which I don't touch that shit.
I do not do the Kardashian. I don't do any of that.
However, I think it is going to end up being like the biggest hit on bravo ever which
really upsets me i don't know you know because i feel like for me i want to watch it because i live
here and as we mentioned last week this city has a huge persian population i think the big persian
populations are in los angeles and long island have big persian populations. I don't know if the appeal will be as strong for the rest of the country.
You know, like Jersey Shore.
Who do you think watches Bravo, New York and L.A.?
The end.
You make a very good point.
But, you know, for instance, Jersey Shore, though, was huge because everyone is aware of the Guido stereotype.
And people are fascinated.
Like how do these guys wear these ridiculous clothes?
How do these girls act like this?
So when Jersey Shore came around, there had already been tons of YouTube videos about Guidos that have had millions of hits.
So it made sense.
I don't know if Persians will have necessarily the same appeal.
Well, I think people knew what Guidos were before Jersey Shore.
And now I think it's like a whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew.
I don't think
that people love that show because it's
something to mock.
I mean, they don't watch it because
they're like, oh my god, I really
have so much in common with them and
I think they really feel my problems.
I think that they like it because they're really
gross, slimy douchebags.
So is that going to happen with the new show?
I think so.
I mean, looking at those previews are atrocious.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely want to see it because just living here, I mean, I'm fascinated in a train wreck sort of way to see these Persians.
Well, you know, as I mentioned last week, I'm Lebanese
and I come from a very big Lebanese family
and we have a lot in common with those Persians.
We're the same, except we're poorer.
We don't have as much money.
We don't wear the Real Housewives
dresses, but we're still
very proud
of being a big herd of tacky
ass people. My grandpa used to
go to the Red Lobster.
My aunt used to work at Red Lobster.
And we'd go in there with 20 people.
It was like the whole family would meet there.
I'm so jealous.
We'd eat this huge meal.
This poor thing would wait on us.
She couldn't wait on any other table because we took her whole section.
She'd work her ass off.
The family would be horrible to her, running her around like a slave.
And then at the very end, my grandpa would go back after
everyone had already left the restaurant
and take the tip off the table.
That's the kind of people we're talking about.
Is your grandfather Heather Dubrow?
Did your aunt give you, make sure the menus
were closed when you sat down?
I always order my rock shrimp
when I'm ready.
Heather Dubrow's like, I'm sorry, this ultimate
feast, I need to send it back.
I did these
crab legs, I just, they're not doing it for me.
I need my popcorn
shrimp cut skinny.
Could you butterfly the popcorn shrimp for me,
please?
So I guess my point is, I can see the entertainment in a huge, tacky family because I come from one, and I miss them and love them, and I'm so glad.
I just wish that as a kid I could have turned them off.
Like I'll be able to turn this show off when it starts getting on my nerves.
I think that people will watch it, though, because Bravo has been promoting it a lot.
They've got Ryan Seacrest behind it.
And it's a little different.
The other stuff – all the other shows that Bravo throws up, this is like around the time of the year when there are a lot of generic Bravo shows come out. This is like when all their real estate shows pop up and dating shows.
And they have like –
Well, what do you think about these?
Are you excited?
I mean is Shadows of Sunset the most exciting or does anything else appeal to you?
Every year it's like million-dollar listing, million-dollar decoration, decorating for millions, dating for millions, million-dollar dating and decorating dates.
It's like these shows are – this is like the generic time of the year for Bravo.
OK.
Sidebar, Million Dollar Decorators was the best show in the history of the network.
I did enjoy Million Dollar Decorators.
Can I say
something? You know Martin Lawrence,
the British guy with the scarf with the crazy accent?
Martin Lawrence, the love.
I saw him shopping at Fresh and Easy and it just
cracked me up. The idea of, I'm going to go to
Fresh and Easy now.
I'm at the Abbey.
I just feel like he'd be at a Bristol
Farms or Gelson's.
I'm best friends with Sharon Osbourne
I've always had these
bagged bell peppers
I can do this myself
I can try them myself
I'm gonna go wash
down Nabi and design my room
to look like the drawing room
down Nabi
I'm sorry
I love when we do our accents anyway I'm sorry. I got it too far. This paper is fabulous.
I love when we do our accents.
Anyway, so we have Love Broker, which is some, like, low-rent blonde girl from New York who wants to take Patty Sanger's job.
Not going to happen.
Going to get canceled. Then we have Million Dollar Listing New York, where they're all, like, just doing, like, sit-ups like the like the guy in american psycho looking all crazy yeah and then we do also have um it's not a returning
show it's a returning cast jeff lewis has that new show where he's trying to be a therapist and
a decorator tell me about that i've seen you know here's the extent of which i've seen i've when i
press play uh at the end of the commercial break you know it goes back like five seconds and says
jeff lewis interiory or whatever it's called.
I haven't actually watched the promo.
But what is this show?
It's really just he and Jenny going around and buying new furniture for divorced ladies and giving them a therapy session and probably just talking shit behind their back.
Yeah.
Scenes…
I'm in.
I'm sold.
I think people who are huge huge flipping out fans will probably
love it you know i like flipping out but i don't love it well flipping out and the real housewives
of atlanta are the two top rated shows on bravo so i do think that jeff lewis does have a huge
fan base yeah he does we'll tune in and he's very funny he's very funny that's for sure i'm not
going to take that from him but i think million dollar listing new york and uh love broker are
kind of both doomed.
I think Million Dollar Listing New York looks so good.
I'm excited, but I don't think other people are going to be into that.
Well, if you say that they're shirtless guys, I will watch.
But if they're no shirtless guys, I don't know if I'll watch.
I'll watch the sake of the podcast.
I watch HGTV all day, so I love that.
I love design shows, and this one looks like they're trying to make it more exciting, I think.
Yeah, but sometimes you just want a slow pace with Sandra Rinomato.
I don't know who that is, but the name sounds funny.
She's the star of, like, My First Place.
Oh, see, I don't watch that.
I've seen what's it called.
The point is HGTV does it right, and so I don't know if this is gonna happen plus i like madison and you know josh flagg like it's gonna be weird without them yeah yeah get rid
of them uh yeah i can't stand josh flagg by the way and the other guy let's see madison madison
madison hildebrand the best part about him is his name.
And then there's the other guy, Josh Altman.
Is that his name?
Yeah, he's the one that took the place of a moppy-haired guy that has the dog named Starly Cakes.
Back in the day, Josh Altman, I think he was at ICM, or at least his brother was, Matt Altman.
And I used to, when I worked in development, I had drinks a few times with Matt Altman. Oh, you fucking power player.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Hang out with Heather Dubrow.
Yes.
Well, we talked about Heather Dubrow.
No, we didn't.
But no, the reason actually why I brought that up, bring this up, is because at that time, Matt Altman said, you know, I'm going to get out of this industry because my brother and I are thinking about going into real estate.
Flash forward, fast forward, and here we are.
One of them is on a TV show.
So there. Let's flash forward to next week you're gonna be in paris bitch i am gonna be in paris so you two
are gonna be on your own unless you can rope in a third person so you will not be hearing me
and my ramblings for a full week It's all our show! Yes, Ronnie can trample me by himself.
Yes, the Onion AV Club said that I trample Matt, so I'm trying not to trample as much.
Maybe that's my fetish. Maybe they shouldn't judge.
Trampling? It sort of sounds like a thing.
Yeah, right? Like sloshing or trampling? I don't know.
Sounds like something you should discuss with the love broker.
Every good show needs a victim.
Discuss with the love broker.
Every good show needs a victim.
Well, you know what?
When Matt's crying cause of racism, maybe he deserves to be trampled by a white woman.
I would like credit for staying quiet so much today.
I think I've done a very good job.
You were too quiet.
You're funny.
You're the funniest guy on here.
Wow!
Now I am getting trampled. Oh, no. Victim. No, Matt, you're not a funny guy. You're a. You're the funniest guy on here. Wow! Now I am getting trampled.
Oh, no.
Victim.
No, Matt, you're not a funny guy. You're a funny girl.
Does that make you feel better?
It's getting really gay all of a sudden.
I was trying not to trample.
I'm in the fetal position, and I'm going to call myself Tammy Knickerbocker right now.
I like that.
All right, well, I think we've covered everything we need to cover right we do is there any was there any gossip any bravo gossip from the housewives or anything
that we may have missed i don't think so right i don't know if this is new or not but i stumbled
across um eric snow is divorcing deshaun snow from season one of hotlanta that that's not new
but it doesn't it does make me sad because i thought they seemed like a nice couple
yeah but i like that he's divorcing her.
Yeah. Oh, I just want to say one thing.
I watched Tabitha
Salon takeover last night,
and this is actually the third episode I've seen.
The previous two were at, one was at a yogurt shop,
one was at a gay bar. This is the first
time I've seen her at a salon, and it's a whole different
show when she takes over a salon, I have to say.
Do you prefer it, or do you not?
I prefer the salon. I prefer it. Well prefer it or do you not i prefer the salon i
prefer i think because i think that she what's her specialty that she knows she's not the expert
of yogurt yeah exactly i feel like with the salon she really she i feel like the show takes on a
certain depth um that i find interesting but um i enjoyed it i i'm i'm definitely coming on board
the tap of the train she should have murdered the salon owner's daughter. I'm sorry. Oh, God.
Who wanted to fluff her feathers?
What does that even mean?
What does that even mean?
They all had feathers in their hair.
Like, they are so tacky, backwards, nasty trash.
Why do the feathers need to be fluffed?
I mean, what's going on?
I mean, it's not like she has a pillow on her head.
I think Tabitha needs to start going around to the different Bravo shows and trying to fix them.
I love that.
I'd love to see Tabitha fixing Heather at a restaurant.
Yeah, she needs to go to Orange County and be like,
have you learned English?
Where did you grow up, Alexis?
Enough, I'm taking over.
I'm taking over.
Is there a flood?
Then why are you always wearing floaties, darling?
You're turning her British, by the way.
Yeah, I know. I'm turning into Lisa.
I'm turning into Lisa Vanderpump.
It happens with me, too. And actually, when I try to do
Australian, it generally turns into Paul
Hogan. Yeah, channel the outback.
Oi!
Oi, Bob's here, uncle. I'm
taking over. Taking over Alexis
Couture. Australians
on TV make me mad because I feel like they know the proper accent.
They're just not doing it on purpose.
It's like Canadian.
Yeah.
It's like Canadians when they speak completely normal until they say ute.
Like, hey, how you doing?
Yeah, I feel like going ute.
What?
What the fuck?
You know it's out.
Stop it.
I think you actually may have just actually crossed the line into German.
We're all over the map.
I hate when Canadian people are like,
Snella!
It's a very global podcast.
Okay, I actually have to, like, pack my bags and go to the office now.
Yeah, and I have to, like, pack my bags and go to Paris, so...
I hate you!
Yeah.
I have to go to the dog park. Oh i have to like pack my bags and go to paris so i hate you yeah i have to go to the dog park oh my god this is so not fair yeah why are you going where are you going to paris because my best friend uh is living there now and i have miles so it's basically
a free ticket and free room and board hi gross i wouldn't live with a friend who moved to paris well she had to do it for work so um
anyway i'm gonna be i'm gonna be eating crepes and um escargot and all sorts of things that
would horrify the orange county wives who would probably go there and eat at mcdonald's and all
of them probably all own sparkly berets oh that's true that's very true um so anyway this was really
fun i will see you guys in two weeks,
and hopefully you guys will be able to do this next week without me.
And yeah, it's been fun.
Good times. Thanks, everybody.
Thanks.
Thanks, all.
All right, bye.
Bye.
Bye, yeah.
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