Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: A Very Vanderpump Christmas! - with Lara Marie Schoenhals

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

Lara Marie Schoenhals of "Sexy Unique Podcast" joins the show to discuss the inevitable, surprisingly emotional firing of James Kennedy (SPOILER ALERT!!! but not really). It's not all doom and gloom though: there's beer cheese to be made and Marina Del Rey dreams to chase. So come gather 'round for a Crappens Christmas special that is MOST DEFINITELY MORE than just a Christmas special in name only. DEFINITELY. Extra bonus! Here's the beer cheese recipe Ben kept yammering about: Beer cheese recipe HERE: https://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2014/01/kentucky-beer-cheese-love-at-third-bite.html See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins. What crap bins? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?

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What happens when there's so much that crap ends? Hey everyone! I'm Ben Mandelker of the real housewares of Kitchen Island, available on YouTube. There's two episodes. The third one is, I keep saying that the third one is coming soon and it really is coming soon, especially since we have a little bit of a break this week, so I'm gonna get to my, get my animating hat on. And joining me today, in case you heard that, the dulcet sounds over the podcast there,

that is not Ronnie. Ronnie has gone off in search of Chris Kringle and we've lost him for the moment. So, in the better, better like idea, I called up Laura Marie Shane Halls of Sexy Unique podcast. What's going on Laura? Hi, not much. Ronnie has flown the coop and I'm here to just like pick up where he left off. I'm just very concerned that Krampus may have gotten him and Chris your Krampus bait. Yeah, yeah, he's Watching back

Krampus bait. Yeah, but Krampus doesn't really know what he's messing with because if anyone can take on Krampus, it's Ronnie Oh fully like Ronnie will destroy Krampus and save Christmas for all of that. I know I'm like I'm waiting for it to happen. I think there's going to be a battle in the sky. We're going to start a new Christmas legend, which is that at 10.03 pm on Christmas Eve, if you look in the sky, you can see Ronnie punching Krampus. You might see a random lightning bolt out of nowhere. Don't be thrown.

That's just Ronnie taking down Krampus. Yeah. If anything goes a rye You can be like don't worry. That's just the sound of Ronnie killing crampus Yeah, and then you'll hear his laugh like echoing in the distance. It'll be very godlike Yeah, but then you'll that everything's totally always is right in the world. Exactly. And then you'll hear the quiet creaking sound of him bending over and you'll cigarette outside his porch door. The lighter. Yeah, that's like the celebration.

Yeah. Of a job well done. A Christmas well saved. So Laura, can you please tell everyone where they can find you on social media and and Beyond Yes, there's a lot of places you can find me first inform us social media. I am at Lars Marie L.A.R.Z M-A-R-I-E on Twitter Instagram and pretty much everywhere else like Venmo if you're interested in that journey and pretty much everywhere else, like Venmo, if you're interested in that journey.

I also produce and host three different podcasts, Sexy Unique Podcast, which is obviously about Vanderpump Rules, my number one passion in life, Babe, which is another podcast I do that's just like me and friends talking shit, and then saving Sex in the City 3, which is just coming up with new storylines for Sex in the City 3. Yeah, like a great brainstorming session. Yeah, it's like a fan fiction, like writer's room, just trying to reinvent the Sex in the City 3 movie that was like, rudely ripped away from us in 2017. Well, you're doing great work. Almost as essential as Ronnie taking on Kramas. That's a Kramas take down, yeah.

I like that hierarchy. First running Kramas, then me. Great, great, great. And I'm just here on earth just trying to keep things happening. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so excited that you're on the podcast because, hey, I just love. You're talking me. Oh, of course.

I just love talking with you and joking with you. And it was so great getting to go to Tom Tom with you a few weeks ago. That was a very special moment. I feel like for both of us. What an epic moment that was. Yeah, we did those. I talked about on the podcast at like a few days after it happened,

but we did the button, what was it called again? I keep up for getting what it's called. Buzz button, the buzz button. Buzz button, that was the cocktail where you, like at Tom's insistence, they, dude, you gotta have this. And then like you eat like a little thing You know you eat like some little plant like it looks like a feared Like a weed of some sort and then you eat it

And then your mouth like tingles and taste kind of lemon It's great. Yeah, your mouth goes on its own acid journey, and you don't, but you're not poor with it. You're just like, you're like, oh, I guess I have to wait for my mouth to come down from whatever it's going on. Like it's like you're with a high friend, but the friend is actually your mouth.

This is just your mouth. So for me, it's like I salivated a lot, and then just like my saliva tasted like lemons. So then I just drank my own saliva and felt like wild. And then like, everything that I tasted, tasted kind of like tangy. And I was like, God, I fucking love this. It was amazing. And I remember, I mean, yes, we were like, what is happening to our mouths, but we were

enjoying it. It was a good journey. It was a great journey. It was a great journey. And we asked for more. We kept asking for like more buzz buttons. Or I went back to the bar and like demanded more buzz buttons. I think I was set with my one buzz button. I don't want to overdo it with the buzz buttons because again, there's a part of me that

feels like it's like not meant for humans. Like it's a poison, you know, like low-grade poison. I took some weird shits the next day, won't I? But like, Buzz button shits. Which they or may not have anything to do in Buzz buttons, but I'm just gonna like let the audience decide. Yeah. But it is kind of like the effect of a buzz button is like what I'm told doing heroin is like where it's like the first time is like so incredible and then you just like are always chasing the dragon because I had been to Tom Tom weirdly the night before we went and I had my first buzz button experience there so then no other time has like really matched up to that.

Wow. Well I feel like if I space them apart my Buzz button situation should be pretty much okay. Yeah, I think like if you do one every six months, you're gonna have the best fucking Buzz button time of your life. Yeah, and the good news is there are a lot of like amazing non-Buzz button cocktails, so you can like, buy your time perfectly well

with other beverages and work your way back up to a buzz button. Totally. What is your beverage of choice at Tom Tom? I really enjoyed. I think the clockwork pink is what it was called. I think it's absolutely delicious. I think it's fantastic. Yeah, and then Tom actually gave us also those, there were some sort of like mango, mango

habanero shots or whatever. I don't know what they were, but those were fantastic. It was good, but I will. Yeah, I remember them and as they tasted all the shots tasted amazing, but I took like three shots at night. I feel like he kept bringing them over and then I would of course do them. And in my head, I was like, oh my god, I would be like so drunk and then was like not drunk at all.

So, like, TVD and alcohol content of the shot. Truly what? Yeah. Well, for those of us who are actually civilized and are just happy to enjoy the flavor and the art of mixology, it was really great. I love that. Yeah.

For those of us who aren't monsters. Maybe they're the Tom Short half shot approach where it's just like half the of alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Like the whole secret. Yeah. I think that's actually that I think that's probably what it is. I think you just have to do more shots. Yeah. I think that's like what Vanderbembe rules has taught me is that you I need to do more shots personally. Yeah. is that I need to do more shots personally. Yeah. Well, so Vanderpump rules, that's what we're here to talk about. Oh, before we dive into that, I, of course, have to push the things I've got to push on this podcast,

which is we got a whole bunch of live shows coming up next year. We, let me see, let me turn my brain on to remember where we're actually going. Oh, so in February, we have a show in Texas. The tickets are available to that. So that should be super awesome because who doesn't love Texas and, you know, being with other people in Texas. And then in March, gosh, I can't keep anything straight. Here's what I do know. Okay, also in February, we're also going to just for laughs. And that's in Vancouver. And that'll be an amazing time. We also have, we announced a show in Phoenix in Arizona. I believe that's in Vancouver and that'll be an amazing time. We also have, we announced a show in Phoenix,

in Arizona, I believe that's in April. We have shows in Boston, we've shown in DC, and a show in Irvine. So go to watchacrapins.com to get tickets to all the shows. You could possibly want to see because they are actually like really, really amazing. And I'm very excited, Laura, because you will be one of the guest presenters at the crappies in January. Will you not?

Ah, you have no idea how excited I am to present at the crappies. It's going to be some of my first award show. Yeah. Potentially my only award show. So I'm really soaking up this moment. Yeah, you should. We of course, if you want to vote in the crappies, you go to watchacrapids.com slash crappies. We have had such a huge response. It's crazy. And I get to look at the results,

because I have access to the survey monkey account. And it is fascinating. It is fascinating like what the results were like five days ago versus now. And I have to say that I looked to see in the category best non-housewives show, which Vanderbump rules is a part of. And I will say that as of like an hour ago, first and second place of the non-housewives, best of are separated by three votes of like several thousand that have been cast.

This is like real life. This is like Florida, okay. When does voting close, when did the polls close? Probably like two days before, I don't know. I can't think of how long it's gonna take to make the little envelopes. Like basically once I make the envelopes, the results go in there and then it's locked in.

So it's probably gonna be like the shows on January 5th or probably January 4th. Okay, cool. So good. I have time to like cast my vote. Yeah. And if Vanderpump rules, well, we can get into it because I have a lot of feelings about this season, but I will say if Vanderpump rules doesn't win, I might demand a recount. Oh, wow.

Well, you know what, you better start campaigning. I'm gonna start drama. Yeah, I'm here to campaign to cop my ballot as part of the crappy academy. I can't comment on how it's doing. But all I have to say is, I think a lot of people will be very surprised with that category, best known as well. A lot of people will be surprised. I think there'll be a lot of people will be very surprised with that category. Best known as well.

A lot of people will be surprised. I think there'll be a lot of categories people are going to be surprised at. Now that it's open up to the masses and people are voting, it's really interesting to see where people are throwing their, who and what they're throwing their weight behind. You know what? You're like, you're kind of like Facebook with this like data farming. Yeah.

That you have going on to find out what people are loving and probably yeah, I just like in the reality world I love it get a few buzz buttons in me you'll find out what I know about George Soros and his thoughts on Vanderpump rules, okay Like a regular show The crappies. What's good? What do you get when you win a crappie? What's the award? crappies? What's good? What do you get when you win a crappie? What's the award? Um, last year, uh, Ronnie made these lovely turds that he spray-painted gold and pineapple or chube. I love that. Yeah, it was very nice. I don't know what he's doing this year. I'm letting him do that, that art and craft, uh, uh, uh, vertical. That's a good project for him. Yeah. Yeah, he

didn't really flex his creative muscles. Yeah, exactly what's not taking on crampus, but This is this is Vanderpump rules day and it is Christmas Eve, so I Have decided right now that this is our grand Christmas special crap water crap and Christmas special And my god, who knows but what will happen it'll we will Incorporate this. It'll, it'll, we will incorporate. It's a jolly episode. Yeah, we, maybe we'll, yeah. I wish we could have like a special guest appearance by like Nell Carter, Reston Pius.

You know, she can come in. Wait, I don't even know who Nell Carter is. Okay, you know what, thank you for being on the show. He's wonderful having you on. You said Nell and I literally was like, no, like the movie with Jody Foster, where she's like, hey, in the wind. That's where my mind went. You know what?

Thank you for bringing that up. Okay, because I'm sure the listeners are going mad, like get to the recap, but this is important what I'm about to say. On Friday, and I did tweet about this, so this is sort of old news to some of you. But on Friday, I drove to the West Hollywood Gateway, which is home to Target and Best Buy, et cetera. It's like where you go for like, Baha, Fresh and Target, essentially. Yeah.

And maybe that's profit play. Yeah, Hanju, okay, this is what's in there. Best Buy and Target. Hanju's a crawfish. Crazy rock and sushi. That hurts actually good. Hanju's a crawfish is awesome. I's in there. Best Buy and Target. Hot and juicy crawfish. Crazy Rock and Seed. That's the first time I think that. Hot and juicy crawfish is awesome. I love it there.

I've never been there and I always used to troll it and was like, blah, who would ever go there. But then multiple people I trusted and like, it's so delish and now I'm like dying. It is fantastic. It is so good. So, so this is an establishment that has That has target hot and juicy crawfish a flame broiler Baha fresh crazy rock and sushi a place called happy nails You know you get the pick pizza press so I drive in there Friday afternoon and as I'm driving into the subterranean parking

Who do I see driving up and out of the West Hollywood gateway? None other than Miss Jody Foster herself. Oh my god. Like can you imagine? I didn't. That is a really, that's a great place also like a hopeful place to see us the Liberty because that parking garage can be very dicey and the she's just like a ray of light. Yeah. This is like a shot panicked room. I'm not afraid of this. I'm getting out. But, but like a man, like, it was just so bizarre. I mean, she's so a list.

Like she's too foster, but she goes to target. It's crazy. They're just like us. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, let's get, let's get this Christmas special going. Huh? Okay. Yeah. Let's let's deck the halls with bows of DJing. A beer cheese. Yeah. deck the halls and bowls of beer cheese. Yeah. By the way, have you had beer cheese before? No, I keep, I'm like, guess there's like a gap in the marketplace. It's soon I'll be able to just like go to the store and buy it.

Like I won't even have to make it. Yeah, mamas. Yeah. Beer cheese is actually wonderful. I started making it a few years ago because I saw it on my favorite cooking blog called I saw it on my favorite cooking blog called Chef John Food Wishes and he made it. So I'm going to be weighing in occasionally with my own thoughts on making beer cheese and Britney's process, etc. So just be prepared. I can't wait to hear what you think of the beer cheese. And do you also have a beer cheese recipe that you can share with me offline? Yeah, I mean, I can just used Chef John's recipe.

I can share that. Okay, great. I can tell everyone to go to foodwishes.com or just Google it. Beer cheese, foodwishes, it is fantastic. And like, don't be scared off by the crazy, like, Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory thing going on in Brittany's kitchen.

It is not that complicated. Yeah. It seems pretty simple. So, okay, I can't wait to make that. Yeah. So this week's episode opens up sort of on the heels of Katie, like putting down her ultimatum that like either she either, either James goes or she goes in the wake of James calling her fat. Where do you stand by the way?

Like where are your thoughts on this whole James Katie situation going into the episode? You know what, I don't think it's right to ever body shame or fat shame anyone, but I also think that Katie doesn't, her livelihood doesn't depend on working at Sur. So like, pretending for the sake of this show that like this ultimatum is actually real.

And I'm just like, I'm so over it. I can't even begin to tell you what an eye role it is to me. Wow. Wow, that's interesting. Because I was sort of, I'm like on her side, you know, because I kind of feel like it doesn't matter who's sort of saying it. Like James is like super problematic.

Like it still is a workplace. That's, he does say terrible things at the workplace, but I understand you're going to do. James don't terrible things, but also all of them say terrible things. This whole premise of this show is they also say the worst things to each other and are horribly problematic, just human beings in general. So like to get some sort of like moral high ground in season seven, I'm like, no, I'm not bad. Go back.

Like go back and because honestly James is one of the only reasons I'm watching this show now. I think he's so entertaining. I think yeah, he has like terrible substance abuse problems and likes a really dark family life, which hopefully he'll sort out, but he's also 26 years old. I'm like, I'm just like here for it. I mean, he at least is entertaining. Everyone else is really like, I'm like, you guys need to start working harder.

Yeah, I mean, I do think that James is like what's keeping the season moving forward. I mean, I was really bracing for this to be just like a terrible season because they all seem to be friends with each other on social media. And I've actually been surprised that I don't think it's terrible at all. I've actually been thoroughly entertained every episode, but I think I'm entertained just based on the inherent power of these people's personalities, not because the storyline is like necessarily captivating. So, you know, James is the thing that's keeping us going for it because he's the only source of conflict in the show this season so far. So yeah, but it's like, he's important, but it also feels just like they tried to manufacture and like put so much like pin so much conflict on him when it's just like he's kind of doing

the same thing. Right. But he's been doing, and also the bigger issue is his substance abuse problem, like not that he called Katie Short to unflattering. Yeah, I think that the worst thing that's been worse about the season is that we just started off, and everyone was just like a gas that James said this thing in his free flow free flow and his rap, you know, about about Britney and everyone's like enough, enough.

She was right there. She was humiliated. And it just seemed like they were taking it so seriously over like just like a throwaway line at a DJ night that no one ever really goes to. Yeah. I'm like, remember when Jax recorded an entire post-coital, like, Britney bashing session with Faith, it was so bad that they couldn't even play it on the air, and then no one seems... everyone has gotten like selective amnesia, and I'm just like,

why are we holding James to a standard that no other man on this show has been helped to? Like, I call bullshit on the whole thing. I think it's very self-serving and transparent. And I wish they would just go back to all fucking each other. And then that would at least be more entertaining than that. Do you think that they're co-opting me to for this situation or ruining what it's for? But then some people say, but this is the exact reason for me to, because ruining what it's for. But then when some people say, but this is the exact reason for me to,

because it doesn't really matter if it's James or if everyone does it, it doesn't matter because it's like, you know, I don't think that they could ruin me too, because I don't think that they're that powerful or influential, but I do think that they are, like I think especially with Katie, knowing the edits that she's

gotten in the past and how she's come across, like, I think she sees this as an opportunity to, like, assert her power and also, like, give herself a bit of, like, a PR makeover. And, like, it's very misguided and transparent. It's like, take something else. Like, this is just, and also, like, you're such, like, a narc. Like, you don't, like, you're such a narc. You don't get over it. Right. Well, I mean, drawing a line at the same there, Laura.

I know. I came here to start drama with you. Well, I mean, it's not like I don't inherently care too much about whether I think it's fascinating to look at it through a lens of like, let's see if I can apply every day situations to what's happening on this show. But it is surprising because Ron and I have actually been pretty much on Katie's thought about this that we think that even though it's's Katie and she's done so many awful things at the same time. Like, like, why shouldn't I have to like work in an environment where there, where someone is being like your fat, you know?

Yeah. So, but then again, I'm welcome. I see that side. Yeah. No, I see that side for sure. Yeah. So I just think that like, she's not like, she doesn't really work at Sir for a living. So I'm just like, I don't really work at Sir for a living.

So I'm just like, I don't like being lied to or deceived. I'd rather she break the fourth wall and be like, I won't be on the show anymore. Or something like that actually speaks to what it is that they're doing, which I feel like we've been kind of leading up to a point where we have to acknowledge like these people are bigger than they're waiter and waitressing jobs. Right. But we're still being trapped. Like, who believes that? Well, to me, like, what viewer?

Then I just get confused. I'm like, do people buy into it? I don't know. Because a lot of like, existence is a question. Yeah, you're essentially down a path. Wow, I can really tell. It's an see down a major path. Yeah, I'm triggered.

Wow. Okay. Well, you know who else has been sent down a path as Lisa Vanderpump, who's like, you know, now she doesn't know what to do in the wake of this ultimatum. She's like, on the one hand, Tuesdays have been very successful. Oh, there are a lot of people here

who live on a daily basis of what they're making. And they just got to like, Natalie, sadly folding like napkins, like she's like, if it weren't for two next Tuesday, I would be at home eating crumbs. Like Natalie's life depends on see you next Tuesday, raise it. Like they raise the revenue according to like Natalie and Guillermo 50 or 20% spike in revenue because of this few next Tuesday. Like, is anyone going to serve to go see Katie Maloney? That's what I just, I'm just pausing that question.

You know, that's a very strong question. I mean, it's like, what percent of the Katie's presence, what is she raised the revenue? Yeah, because I mean, we have to admit, like, I mean admit like I mean Katie is legacy at this point, but like In sync and getting stuck with 98 degrees Yeah, or like you go to Disney World you want to see like Mickey and Minnie, but then you get stuck with like A very like low in the totem pole Disney character. You get stuck with like Oliver from Oliver and friends. And you know, wait a second. I didn't even know there was a mascot for Oliver and the guys like,

I'm off brand. I actually snuck in here and I have about 30 seconds to take this photo before they kick me out again. Yeah, and you're like, where's Donald Duck? And they're like, he's a break. He got fired because he calls me back. Or it's like, you can only see Mickey Mouse if you go to Animal Kingdom to get people to Animal Kingdom.

So you're like, well, I'm in the Magic Kingdom. Who do I get a picture with? It's like, I guess I can get a photo with like someone from like Hercules, you know? Or like that one of the like off brand characters and like the jungle book. Yeah, I like great, massive, active. Yeah. Yeah, which I wouldn't actually get you mad at.

No, I wouldn't be mad at any of those, but they're not what I went to go. But they're not what I paid any to see. Like I've never gone to sir, and I've gone to sir a bunch of times. And I've gone to see you next Tuesday, a couple of times, both of which were great, both of which James was acting psychotic, which I knew. in the time is like he's a liability like he can't last being like that That's which I think and I just would rather it be like your substance abuse is it is the issue you're getting fired Like it's not because Katie gave an ultimatum right. Yeah. No, that's a interesting point now Now I have a question since I've never been to see you next Tuesday, was it crowded?

Was it significantly more crowded at see you next Tuesday than like, oh, it was packed. Yeah. That's like the only time I've ever been at sir where it's just been like bananas packed. So people, it's not just like them saying it. It wasn't just like them saying it. No, it really was like, it true, and the way

to lay out of sir is and like where they put the DJ booth is like right when you enter Sir to the left there was the DJ booth and the dance floor which really, I mean it looks very crowded because the dance Words fairly small like it could really like pack 20 people in there and they're shoulder to shoulder But I'm also like this is right near the exit. So this seems like a fire hazard And but then there were just tons of people in the restaurant too, like it attracted a crowd. And then the other cast members would kind of show up. I never saw Katie there, but like Sheena was there one,

Billy Lee was there one night. And like it was just, it was a fun time. Wow, so it really does make an impact. So that would make sense why Lisa's so concerned. Because she sits down with Natalie, and she's explaining the situation that on the one hand, she doesn't want to have James' body shaming her waitresses, et cetera.

And you know it was very serious, because they had to break into temporary French. It's like out of nowhere. And she said a lot of things. It's very aggressive. Yeah, I appreciated that. I like being reminded that Lisa is like bilingual. Yeah, emergency French is always like, it's always like,

it reminds you how dire a situation is. Yeah, it is. And then Natalie is like, he's a good DJ. People are coming to see him play, which I was like snickering at, but maybe I shouldn't snicker. Maybe I should take back my snickers. Yeah, you know, she's not at all. He's not wrong. Yeah. She's been around it, sir. She's doing the books and crunching the number. And the numbers are showing that two next Tuesday is a raging success. I know. And she's like, but can we forgive him? Otherwise I go home and eat bowls of dry bread.

She's like not sick from the game. Not sick from soufflé again, please. I go back and live with my mom and papa. I think also Natalie is just like, it's very French to be like, because I feel like during me too you had a lot of French actresses being like how was a flirt how would we know isn't man not flirting with us like think of death and then Natalie is like Lisa tells her the whole thing and her first question is can she forgive him like what's the big fucking deal that's like looking at a piece of breachies and saying, are you not creamy?

Like, of course. Yeah, so I like to, I've created Natalie's, like, French way about dealing with this. I also enjoyed that while they were having this, like, conversation where they're both very concerned, that they're at least as giant Chanel, pink Chanel bag with like, Patrick design was just like, clops right in between them.

I don't know what it was, the staging of that just cracked me up. Front and center. I noticed that too and I was like, wow, she really wants us to know that like, she has the new hideous Chanel bag. And like, I guess, respect for that, I don't know. I don't know, it just seemed like this like strange, like materialistic moment, which I guess is for that. I don't know. I don't know. It just seemed like this like strange like materialistic moment

Which I guess is not wrong But I just felt like with the talking about this like ultimatums and me two and all the stuff But yet at the same time like Like doing this crazy showcase of this super expensive bag right in front of our eyes. Yeah, yeah That bag had to be like for grand. It's not more. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, it works because, you know, why? This is the Christmas special and it made it special.

I know. That doesn't really make sense. I just had to retire as a special. I was going with it. I was gonna, I was gonna, yeah, I'm backing you up. I'm here for you. Thank you. I'm here for Christmas.

Now I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and like he could do them in like seven minutes or less. It's like amazing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life, but come on. Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, um, so now we go over to a doctor's office, uh, where Ariana and Billy Lee and Shina are there and Billy Lee is like, oh, it's be my last surgery. And because that's our whole thing. What was the surgery exactly? Well I thought it was gonna be this like very like I thought it was gonna be more. I thought it was going to be more how was the right word to use?

Important sounding? Yeah, like it was like more of the, I guess, I don't know, granted, like I don't know that much about, I know the very basic details of like a transitioning process, but I thought it was gonna kind of speak more to that. And to me, it seems like a, it seems like more of like a plastic surgery type of surgery. Yeah, I thought it was going to be something like this is going to be the last shred of my former identity in terms of like my like my male like

Physicality is now going to be gone Whereas instead she's like, yeah, I'm taking on my fat and putting in my ass I'm like is this really part of your gender transition journey or is this just like you? Just like, is this part of your LA journey instead? Yeah, it's maybe both like TBD, but I was also like, okay. Yeah, great. I'm not necessarily passing judgment on it, but I am like, I have a little question mark over my head right now. You know, I'm like, this is when you choose to incorporate Billy Lee,

like not during Pride, but like after Pride, he's just like, like, LIFO and like fat injections in her ass, like, unsure. Yeah, and this is like the grand culmination of her journey is like getting anything and everything put into her ass. They made such a huge deal about having like a trans waitress like all the shit and then now like the big yeah, the big reveal is like her ass surgery.

Yeah, surgery. Yeah. So, so she's gonna be like recovering overnight in Santa Monica and she ain't gonna get excited. She's like Santa Monica. She's like, that's like five minutes away from like where I'm living now. And we learned that Shina is moving to Marina Del Rey.

And she's like, I've always wanted to live in Marina Del Rey, but I've never heard the balls to do it. I'm like, I love that Shina is on this like personal journey to get herself to Marina Del Rey like to cross the city. I love any time that we get to peel a layer back from Sheena and like really get to know her it yields the best results because like no one in their lives aside from Sheena has that I've always wanted to move to Marina Del Rey. Literally no one. She's like it's like I feel like you know I've had the classic thing in like a musical or something is one. She's like, it's like I feel like, you know,

I feel like the classic thing in a musical or something is that like there's like someone who's dreamy of moving to Paris or to Italy or to London, like someday I'll meet you there about the London bridge or something like that. Hers is like, I wanna be by the pizza press in Marina. All right, it's very low in ambitions. You want to just look at the water.

I mean, it'll be. Like not be on the beach. Just be like by the water. Yeah. It's like very low goals, especially when you're already on TV. It's like. Yeah, but that's kind of like classic Vanderpump. Yeah, exactly. Low goals. Yeah, exactly.

Low-holes. Yeah. Low-holes, Maria Delray. Yeah, I love, I love Sheena's like Marina journey. Yes. She's like, I basically live in Fuji. I mean, Fuji way that is. That's an insider knowledge about the Maria Delray streets.

I don't know if you've been there. Yeah. I have to go to Google Maps to figure out that joke, but it'll be worth it. I think it will be when you see that there's a Fiji way, it's going to resonate strongly with you. So while they're like, okay, we've talked about Miranda Dollar and Butt Surgery, let's talk about James. So, um, she knows James is gonna be helping Shina do her move to Marino Del Rey, MDR, as people in the toilet. And she knows, basically, like, you know what, like, I mean, he's gonna be able to move him, and then I'm gonna, like, say something really direct to him.

And I'm gonna, like, let him know how it is, because it's not cool, and people, I'm second people saying that I'm not a loyal friend. I'm gonna be a I'm gonna know how it is because it's not cool and people I'm second people saying that I'm not a loyal friend I'm gonna be a loyal friend right now so Ariana is like Sort of over this because she feels like she doesn't have to do like this is Classic she know where she doesn't have to like like in classic she know would do something drastic to Like endure herself to Stasi Kristen and Katie and Ariana like, you don't really have to do that. You can be friends with James and be friends with them, honestly.

Yeah. Well, I don't think you can really be friends with that. I mean, I think Ariana gets a pass because like, Stasi really like respects her and has always liked her. Yeah. But like, Shina, even when the in the last episode, when Shina and Stasi had that confrontation, you could tell like, Shina was terrified. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She's never stopped Sheena and Stasi had that confrontation, you could tell Sheena was terrified.

She's never stopped being scared of Stasi and will do literally anything she says. Which I think is one of the great overarching narratives of this entire show is like Sheena's like Impossible dream, which is no longer included in Marina's already apparently, but which is like trying to be truly in that group and she just will never be in it. Like she comes close, she'll have penetrated every now and then, but she just will never ever be in that group.

And I think it's like amazingly satisfying to watch or try every single season. Oh, it's incredible. Yeah, it keeps me coming back for more. Yeah, I think it's actually one of the underrated, one of the most underrated narratives of the show. I mean, it's actually one of the underrated, one of the most underrated narratives of the show. I mean, it's what the show built itself on if you think about it. Yeah, it was the beginning like tension of the show with like,

Sheena, there's a new blood coming to her and that's Sheena Marie. Yeah. Everyone like hating her and that it is one of the grander themes and like arcs of the show. Yeah, I feel like I hope we don't lose Shina in the fray this season. I hope that like this struggle, this power struggle is like it's could be one of the major threads that we follow because it's important to me. It's important to me and it's just like great natural tension. Like it feels really natural and honest. And I think so is losing a lot of that. Yeah, I agree. So also speaking of natural and honest, why don't we go over to Britney's kitchen where

she has to have like 14 bowls that I'll have little legs on them, which is crazy. I kind of like those bowls. I was like made a mental note, like I need to go on Amazon and find those label. Can I un-mental your note? Because I'm going to. It's so funny, because I saw them too, and I was like, that seems pretty cool.

But then I also felt like I bet they don't work as well as that, and on top of that, I was reading the cookbook, and I know you're a cookbook person also. Salt, fat, acid, heat, you know that one? Yeah. So I was reading it last night. It just made a Netflix show out of that. Yeah, it's great.

The show is fantastic. So I was reading it last night, and, um, she was, they have all these little cute little drawings and, like, diagrams in it. Um, and she was talking about, like, like talking about like making like a Caesar dressing or whatever and she said and she says when you do it take a damp dish towel and like wrap it around the base of your bowl and sort of like tilt the bowl a little bit in it and that's that will steady your bowl and I'm like well if you've got that you don't need little legs. Yeah you can you've got that, you don't need little legs.

Yeah, you can just use what you have. You don't need to like get all consumery about it and get more bowls. Yeah. So I just want to say that I love that tip. Thank you. That was my, that was the tip I'm sharing because I learned it last night and then I saw the thing today and I felt like like, securing bowls was very top of mind for me. Yeah, totally. I never knew that and now I know so much more. And I'm ready to go off and make some beer cheese. Oh my goodness, looking at this like test kitchen situation, it was already getting me so much stress. Just felt like there was like bowls everywhere but like with no purpose. Bulls with no purposeless bowls was a big theme, but also I'm like,

why are we to believe that these people, like I've seen the sandwiches that they make and like the caliber of ingredients that they're working with on a day-to-day basis? And I don't, I'd rather not see how the beer cheese is made. Like I just want the beer cheese to exist. Like I know that it's going to be bad, so just like make it leave me out of the process and then like let me buy it. Yeah, and it's not all for me, it's not even so much that like I think watching the process will be gross. I think I'm going to lose faith in their authority. I've definitely lost a

lot of faith in her authority as a beer cheese expert. Like it can't be that complicated. It's like you melt, it's like you melt. You don't have to melt anything. By the way, that's the other thing. That's why I was watching it. You just can food process some like shredded cheese with like a bunch of other shit and then you like have a dip.

Yeah, and like she's making queso. She's making queso. She's like, finally, she's like really confused. She's making like all sorts of random cheese. She's like fondly, she's like really confused. She's making like all sorts of random cheese. She's like doing rap plans. Yeah. Yeah. She has like, oh wait, also here's a novel idea

for how to make beer cheese and how to figure it out, how to make mamas beer cheese. Why don't you go ask mamas? Yeah. What's the be it? Yeah. Now we're going to try this. I was like, now we're gonna try this. Oh my God, so melty.

And like, stirring it, I was like, you literally can text your grandmother and then like make them for choosing holiday day. And that's why I didn't understand was that when I saw this and she's like bumbling around with all these cheeses, I'm like, wait a second, you're starting your beer, she's company before you even know how to make mamas, namesake, beer cheese.

Isn't this like all wrong? Is this all very bad? I'm just supposed to give it like a test run to yourself to see if you can even make it in the first place. Yeah, like, is it even good? Like, I'm also like, why are you making warm beer cheese? Like, I mean, if I'm seeing this,

like, I visualize it on the shelves of a grocery store, I think of it as being like in a refrigerated section. So I'm confused as to why it would be warm ever in the making process. I mean, here's the thing. I'm not from Kentucky, and my experience with Kentucky beer cheese is limited to this wonderful recipe that I've used. But knowing that I could make that wonderful recipe without having to melt any cheese

leads me to believe that melting cheese is not an essential component to Kentucky beer cheese. Now, I will. I'm very happy to go and cross check with other recipes, but I'm just saying, when I saw this, I was like, this feels unnecessary. And then she was like, How do I make that be your stale JX? How do I do that when I whip it around? Which is fine because that's what you're supposed to use, but she was like, Stale beer, that's the secret ingredient. I'm like, that's like the very first

and that's the essential ingredient of Kentucky beer. She's as far as I've been told. So like, I just like, she just thinks that this like super secret trick, this trick of like, stailing the beer is like the thing that's gonna make Mammastic out when it's like, you know, when a Yankee like me has been doing it like that for years. I guess I'm really talking more about me than that. I'm just like, you know, it sounds like you could, they could really benefit from like,

you consulting that on the beer cheese process. I think I'm projecting some sort of rejection from this process onto them. Like I feel upset that I was not consulted, even in this Kentucky beer cheese situation. Yeah, I get that. I feel like this might be the like fire that you needed, let under your ass to maybe make your own beer cheese or you know step out on your own with like your own mamas or mamas yeah mamas moths of all so um so pretty is like I love cheese cheddar cheese sharp cheese shredded cheese string cheese whoa whoa da goada something like that yoda cheese, woda, guida, something like that. Hoda. Hoda.

I like that cheese that hosted today show, Hoda. I'm like her accent also is like more out of control than ever before. Like she's handing it up for the cameras at this point, right? I think so. I also love that like when she listed the her favorite types of cheese, she sort of would like, like when she goes, first she starts off with cheddar cheese,

and then she goes to sharp cheese, and then shredded cheese. I'm like, I just like that, you know shredded cheese is not a type of cheese. Like it's not like, it's not like cheese. Strings cheese also is not a type of cheese. Can cheese also not a type of cheese? But like, if this is not a type of cheese. Can cheese also not a type of cheese. And like, if this is not snobbery, I think I can speak for both of us. We both love all these things.

But yeah, I just feel like it's a cheese expert as a burgeoning cheese expert. Like, it just, I'm like, Brittany, you just went to the fancy cheese, artisan cheese gallery. Like, did you learn nothing there? Yeah, exactly. Good. And our research work trip took you to all places, the valley, where you learned more about types of cheese to use in your beer cheese recipe. And now you're coming on me with a Woda?

Woda. Like, I'm on Woda. Woda is a problem for me. That's a real problem. I don't know if I can really trust a cheese Yeah. Well, like I'm on. Well, what is a problem for me? That's a real problem. I don't know if I can really trust a cheese purveyor who doesn't even understand the concept of Gouda. Yeah, yeah.

It's tough. Because Gouda is not exotic. No, Gouda is very run of the mill. Gouda is like, it is up there with like your Swiss and I would say that like after like like cheddar and Swiss in terms of like your standards I guess you could have like you could say like you can make an argument for a provolone or a monoray jack and then I think good I think good is in the discussion yeah and I think it's also like it's not as widely known as like a cheddar Swiss but it's like if

you're getting like a teeny bit, a teeny bit crazier than you get good in the mix, but it's by no means like that exotic. All I know is that Starbucks has a bacon and goot of sandwich, so it's hit Starbucks. Yeah, so mainstream. Yeah. So they're amazing.

So they're amazing. You don't need to go to the value, you can just go to Starbucks and learn more about these. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been to the artisan cheese gallery, by the way? Oh, yeah. It's one of my favorites.

Like, yeah, it's so good. They have a really good, like, chopped salad there. I always forget about it. That's such a good place. I was actually sad to see them in there. I felt like, I feel betrayed. Yeah, I was like, who am I? I didn't trust myself after that

So they're just like making this cheese and like they have like I want to buy there's like a picture of cheese I don't know if you notice that they have a full on picture of it. Yeah It's a glass of cheese I was like I don't know what's going on in this process But so then they start talking about Jackson. I mean, so they start talking about Raquel and James and Jackson's like, you know, Raquel is like the best person for James the day And I mean there is not one woman. I know that would put up with that shit God, I was like oh my like it was a record scratch moment. It was no Yeah, like no one everyone's just forgotten that we came off of a season where Jax said the exact same thing to Brittany.

Yeah, exactly. And that's like this. I feel like this entire season is just going to be full of moments of that. I think that's what we're going to be coasting off of. Or just moments of Jax really describing his entire previous season. Yeah, this season is all about like challenging the viewers

and the fans' mental health. And hell and make it through without going totally crazy and like 51 50 then you get to like graduate to like the next level. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, they're talking about this and then another back to the cheese again and bring you like I think that maybe we can have a dinner when we can serve this cheese as an appetizer She's like you can be the business you got like at the business stuff and I'll be a kitchen Like they're hatching their business plan Like on camera. Yeah, like a little bit on the fly like they don't know how to make their product But they know they want to sell it anyway. I kind of believe that they did just come up with this.

The cameras came to their house to film everyone showed up for their call times, and they just announced out of nowhere that they're starting a beer cheese business. I almost feel like they had been playing dictionary, and the cameras came in. Just asney was yelling out a guess of like, could Daddy be a James? And like, okay, great, that will be your storylines.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, actually gonna be the business mind of this, which is very sad because his first task is how to like get into a farmer's market and he's like, you know, he like doesn't know

how to even like approach this, this, this topic, et cetera. And he's like, listen, I know what it takes to run a business and you hear the producer say, so what does it take? He goes, well, I mean, after saying that, I don't, I don't really know. I mean, I kind of am entertained by them, like, trying to start this business, because I'm like, I have a lot of questions as a person that recently started a business over the summer, like I've been through the ringer, which is like legal zoom and doing all that stuff.

So I'm like, I like knowing that I know more than Jack knows. And then I also like seeing, what's like the longevity play for this beer cheese business? Like, is it they make one batch and they just sell one kind of beer cheese forever? They're like trying to turn it into a brand. Are we gonna get a beer cheese take over and then that's like five years

where it becomes all the rage and there's like 30 different flavors? I just have a lot of questions. There's I mean there's a lot of upside at the very least there's a lot of upside but um yeah there's a lot of questions. I think if this went to shark tank right now I think there may be some issues getting some funding but um uh you never know they've got spunk. Yeah they do have spunk and they do i mean i feel like if i'm down to buy at least one tub of beer cheese i'm sure so many other people are so could be just like rate money grab

that's what's so weird about this show is that like we we here we sit on a podcast just like a fine and she doesn't know how to say good or whatever. And yet we'll be the first ones to be like, well, we have to get a tub just to be funny. And then like, there will be like 30,000 people who do the same thing. And next thing you know, these people are like millionaires because we're all just like being so like clever and ironic. Yeah.

Well, maybe I'll just steal a beer cheese from like Ralph's or wherever it is. Or maybe I'll just make some. Yeah, or maybe I'll, you know what, that's a better idea. It's literally like, stale beer and cheese and some like, mustard powder and garlic. It's like, it's so simple. So, anyway, so there we... I like that we're like, we've done like, all of two scenes on this episode. This is how mine goes, this is how mine goes too,

where I spend like 45 minutes talking about like beer cheese and then like. Well, there's a lot to discuss. I mean, bowls with feet on them. That's important to address that. I mean, did that tip of the wet. Yeah. I mean, I haven't tried that by the way,

but I feel pretty good about it. I feel like I can see how it works. Yeah. Yeah. So now we go over to Tom Tom, which is still not done yet on TV. And we see Lisa and Ken are there and, you know, Ken's talking about waiting to hear from the awning company and the water company. He needs $167,000, et cetera. And so Tom and Tom arrive and we learned that there's gonna be staff interviews coming up.

At least Savannah pumps like, Do you know what I really need right now? What I really, really need? Do you think you could do this for me please? Oh, I don't think that I need that. Like, yes, Lisa, what do you want? A cup of tea! Like, just wait, just sitting there silently. Listen, like, for the piped-in, like,

studio audience, the plot, the clasher to come in. Yeah, and I like that Tom Schwartz skirried off to go get it, but like half-heartedly. Yeah, like even he was irritated at that ask. There probably was like a scene of him bumbling around trying to get a cup of tea like oh The tea bag does this go into the paper part that goes in or the bag or maybe should put the whole thing in and Oh, did she want sugar or oh maybe some milk and like Tom I would rather yeah I would rather kind of watch that also. I'm just like it, like it's so weird to see like Tom Schwartz

who basically had like a business opportunity. He like, lucked into his entire life, right? Yeah. He never like, brought any like professional energy to Lisa's like, restaurant empire. No. No, nor has he really like, done anything that worthy of like, being on the show except for dating Katie. Yeah. And eventually getting married to her. And the case she the show except for dating Katie. Yeah. And eventually getting married to her.

And the case she points drinks on her head. Yeah. Yeah, pouring drinks on her head like disrespecting her. And then now he owns like 2.5% of this restaurant. And everyone's just like cool with that. Meanwhile, James Kennedy is like killing it mate and like bringing in what? 20% boom in business and service. No one actually likes and James is like on the chopping block. That's life. Listen,

that's life in West Hollywood. It's not easy. It's not easy. Okay. If life were easy, we wouldn't have to sit and watch Gina pack a pack up her dream home with Shay, okay? She is moot. I love she not getting a friend to move her stuff and then like telling that friend that he's not actually like they're not that close. No that was that was a ballsy move on her part. She makes jams go and pack, take all these boxes, put them in his murdered out Ford, and then she's, and then she's like, by the way, what you do is like not cool. And like, you know what, I tell people,

like we're not like close friends, we're like surfacy party friends, like I barely even know who you are, is your name like Pum-Low. I don't even know, who are you again? She's like, I tell I didn't take my anxiety medication today because I'm like, oh my god. I was like, she, first of all, take your meds, honey. Like, put your mental health first before me.

Yeah, you're on TV, you know? So, yeah, so she tries to give them like a stern talking to, but it's like in, it's like she and a style. So she's like, why don't you keep fucking out, you know, which is not a health role approach. But a fun one. No, when you're like kind of intervening on someone, you shouldn't be like, we're not friends, but let me tell you like what I think of your life. I also have this view, by the way,

getting back to making James move all her stuff. I have a mindset which you know I apologize if this sounds like a little like privileged or obnoxious but I kind of feel like if you can afford it then like higher movers you know like you're she knows like you're over 30 you know like I understand like when you're in 20s everyone helps each other move around but like I feel like you get to a certain age where it's just like, I don't wanna be moving your boxes.

You figure that stuff out, like save up for your move. If you're gonna move, if you're moving to Marina Dalray, save up for that and just hire movers to do it. Yeah, I'm like also what did he move? Exactly like he took boxes out to like her car, like took one box out and so I don't know the whole thing was just like bizarre. I also wouldn't ask someone that I didn't consider to be a good friend of mine like I wouldn't ask a

surfacey party friend to like move. Yeah that's true although you know it's funny is that the whole reason why this entire podcast exists is because I was asked To help someone move and I was sort of surfacey friends with that person Really because it's someone was like I was friendly with you know, he was You know his friends with but like we didn't hang out a lot and he asked me to help him move And I was like sure it's like it'll probably take like you know half an hour just to move some things It took like two and a half hours. I was so mad and then he was like oh by the way I know someone who's starting up this starting up this like this like network and you should get like

I you should like do something on the network so he he referred me to this guy which then be gapped this like this online show called House ofwipe Ho-Down and House of Ho-Down when the network eventually went under House of Ho-Down became watch what happens. So sometimes... Sometimes you should help a stranger move. I'm basically contradicting everything I just said about hiring movers because you never know. I love it. You know what? That's the nature of van Rampembruellis is like a constant contradiction. Yes exactly

I'm assuming you probably loved it when James reenacted what the conversation was probably like between Stasi, Chris and Katie, Tashina about James. Oh, I love it. Yeah, James always has a good read He knows what that like he knows what's up with everyone. Yeah, yeah love it. Yeah. James always has a good read. He knows what's up. Like he knows what's up with everyone. Yeah. Yeah. He really, he actually does. He does have a good read on everything. He's just a disaster. I mean, he's a disaster, but he keeps it real. Yeah. Like he's not here. Like I like his authenticity in that way. I don't like a lot of his other behavior, but he he reads to filth and I appreciate it. Yeah, and I did like that when Shina did ask him,

why do you keep fucking up? He goes, Shina, if I had the answer to that, I would tell you at which point, like she cries, which is like, wow. Yeah, she doesn't know what to say to that, yeah. It was like, we can't really get that much deeper with Shina without just like blowing her mind. She's like, I had three really get that much deeper with Sheena without just like blowing her mind. She's like, I had three lines for a pair to say to you today and that kind of threw me

off my game. So now we go back to Jackson Britney's apartment where they are getting ready for their big dinner party. Britney is putting out her fanciest ruffles, potato chips for the occasion. And they're putting the pouring the beer cheese into like, like washed out hummus tubs, you know? Yeah, there was so tiny. I was like, you made all that cheese,

but then you're only putting this much out like I don't get it. Yeah, that's not gonna feed enough. That's not enough. Like that would be one per person. That would be okay. It's still too small in my opinion, but like, where's the rest of the beer cheese? Yeah, that's exactly, I have so many issues

with these beer cheese scenes. Like, it's like, it's really, I have a hard time with it. I also like her being like, now when you try this one, just know that this is like so fucking spicy, it's gonna blow your brains out, but also it's not, the one we are doing is not gonna be anything like this. So like what the,

I didn't pick it that last part there that she said that. Yeah, she's like, and then when we do, it's not gonna be like this, it's real spicy, so just know that. And it's like, okay, well then what's the point of any of this? And this one over here, this one, I really like this one,

it takes like French onion dip, it's actually, it actually is French onion dip or non-concerned either, but you can have it too and tell me what your thoughts are on it. So these are carrots and this is celery and those come from the farm. I won't be selling those either. But you can find them in the grocery store in the produce section. Or you can go to Target. I was there the other day. I saw Jody Foster. I got so excited. I just picked up a bag of baby carrots and walked out the store with it. I almost got arrested. She's like, I've been laughing a lot of jacks that day. So, so then, oh yeah, so Stasi and Stasi and Bo and Tom and Katie are come by. They're trying to cheese.

They all really like it, you know, of course, because it's cheese and spear cheese. And Katie's telling everyone that she made an ultimatium. Ultimatium, ultimatium, Jets. Try to get it. I'm making an ultimatium. So, um, Brittany's like, what's that? Something new with boundaries? Is that like that Frisbee game? No, that's ultimate Frisbee. Brittany's like what's that? Something new with boundaries? Is that like that Frisbee game? No, that's ultimate Frisbee.

Oh. Oh. Did you call the beer cheese yet? It's real good. Stale beer and old cheese. So yeah, Katie tells everyone about the ultimate and everyone's like, whoa. And Tom's like, oh, and Tom's like, oh, my wife Shward does love an ultimatum.

Check this out and he shows off his wedding ring. I'm just like, could there be anything less romantic? Yeah, I've been like, sort of like implying the only reason why you got married to your wife is because she just laid down an ultimatum and you don't have enough backbone to do what you really want to do in life. I mean, that is the reason so

Don't you get scared thing that this guy was he was pre-med he was on a pre-med path Could you even imagine if he became a doctor? No, I mean he'd be like the doctor. It's like I go with me to like Robin Williams in nine months Who is like kind of the bumble-a, like, wretched doctor that didn't know how to do anything, but that's the energy that Com Schwartz would give me is like, can he handle the side of blood? Yeah, I don't think he could.

I feel like he would wind up working in a clinic somewhere in Monroe via, and you come in, and it's like, it's like urgent care clinic next to a gas come in and it's like it's like urgent health like urgent care clinic next to a gas station and he's like, ah, well You probably just need to get some rest Like that's that's probably all me says like sir. You're not even looking at me. You're carrying in the corner Could you please diagnose this giant bloody wound that I have? I'm also like is he doctor smart like giant bloody wound that I have. I'm also like, is he Dr. Smart?

Like, what were the people in his life saying when he announced the plans to go pre-med? They were like, yeah, do it. That's probably what they said. Yeah, do it. They were like, we don't know what, he said he wants to go pre-med because it was like the first bubble on the choice,

on like the multi-choice in college. And like, yeah, do it. We don't know. The triplets. So you asked the triplets and they were like, definitely. And they had no idea what that really meant. They probably thought it meant like it's what you do before you start a career in the Mediterranean, you know, like I'm pre-med.

Yeah. You know. You're like, that's where you go right before you go to Greece. And we're into Greek culture. Like Greek letters on my sweatshirt. A lot of associations here, yeah. Again, yeah, I'm like, I- It's a Christmas special. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone.

Beer cheese. We took this to a really specific place where Tom Schwartz thought he was going to be going to start a career in Greece and became a crew member. I'm just going to use it the whole trajectory and also the moments that he dropped out and then how he fell into modeling. He's just someone that literally, like someone suggested something to him and he just said, yeah man, like sure. And like sure to himself, like failed upward somehow and is now rewarded with this like career and money. Yeah, exactly, because he's fascinating.

Yeah. So then we go over to Stasi's house where she's like, she's like in a basic version of Tron, you know, she's got like a thing on her head, like doing some VR or something and other, like, she's like in a basic version of Tron, you know, she's got like a thing on her head like doing some VR or something another like Just sort of like she's like a I a F, you know, and she's just like this weird like Xbox whatever so Ariana comes over um and

Stasi's telling us about how she loves video games And then they get the producers do this whole like ready player stasi loves video games and then they get the producers do this whole like ready player stossy bit whereas like flashbacks of some of stossies greatest moments but like an 8 bit form which I thought was like cute but like it was like nothing compared to their sitcom that they did two weeks ago. No and then you know what I'm like I miss the editors trolling the cast members because I feel like in previous seasons they've done such a good job of like sneaking in these amazing shots that like really tell it how it is. And then now they're leaning on these like funny bits

that are not that funny. Like it's funny or just to see the real reactions of cast members and like eye rolls that are like behind backs and stuff like that. They don't need them to waste time on this stuff. I'm like, get to the meat of it. I agree. I thought the, I thought the, um, the sitcom I thought was like funny, because I thought it

was just funny to add like a left track to like the stupid jokes they were making around Racer. Yeah. But I thought this thing was like a little forced and was kind of like, oh, remember when we did that thing two weeks ago, that was funny. Let's do it again now. So kind of kind of flat for me, I have to say. Yeah, if I was a producer, I'd be giving notes to like cut that.

Yeah, I would. Yeah, I'm giving the notes now. I'm not even a producer. Great. Yeah. I'm like, if you're listening and you're in charge of this show, can you make it better? Thank you. Don't do that again. Please no more like the game like flights. No more stilliness. Just like you're do the jobs that you were doing for the past seven seasons and like will be good. Yeah make sure to like like just like put little lies and people's ears see at the matter each other please. Thank you. Go back to that. So we have like a scene with Ariana and Stasi and the whole thing is that Ariana's friends with Stasi now and you know Ariana is basically

like yeah I mean like there's a part of me that still thinks Stasi is bratty but like you know we're cool now so why don't I have a joint party because why not you know so I like this because I feel like they're gonna have a follow-on next season, you know? Yeah, I feel like it's teeing up for either. Like I don't mind them being friends, but I did like when we flash back and we got to see like Ariana shit talking to Stasi Space because it was just like, you know that that really bothered Stasi. It was good to see her like knock down a couple pegs.

Yeah. But yeah. Well, also Ariana was just so hilariously over Stockie. I don't give a fuck about you. She's kept saying that. It's like a sequence. Like that could be done as a video game. That would have been an OK be like a frog or a version

of that somehow. Just like Stockie trying to cross a road with Ariana, just running her over. Yeah, I need more conflict, like more conflict and tension. Yeah, I'm like a little upset that Saasie's like in a perfectly lovely relationship because she's a little bit too happy. I need her to be miserable and protect that misery on to everyone around her. Yeah, I think we'll get like a little next week

looks promising with her like flipping out a bow, which I'm excited to see like I think and I like that her birthday just like causes her to have like complete and utter meltdowns. Yeah. Without fail, she like can't handle her own birthday. Yeah, you're like a yearly curse. Yeah. Yeah, year after year, it's like more and more, like it's worse and worse. So that looks promising, but I feel like that's the only like, dad's stopping moment we're gonna get.

Yeah, it's very unfortunate. Like someone needs to really get under her skin. So then we go with Figgin' Olive, and James is there with Raquel and his mom and dad and his brothers. And I don't know why I wrote this down. Like everyone's ordering Flamin' Yo and except for Raquel. Like I was really bothered that Raquel got smoked salmon whenever and everyone else got Flamin' Yo.

I don't know. Yeah, it was kind of weird too to see like I feel like I knew that James was putting the bill. So like, they're just just really wrapping up the tab. Yeah, and they were also like, yeah, they're also on best behavior too. They're like, let's go ahead and be a behavior. Yeah, so they're on like, what'd you say?

I'm happy his mom is nine months sober. Yeah, no, fantastic. I think that's great. But what was sort of funny was that preceding that James was like, all right, you know what, mates, I just wanted to make a big change in my life. I'm four days sober, four days sober. Okay, so let's have a test of four days sober.

And she's like, I'm hello. I've been nine months sober. So can we maybe like, that's what we should focus on? Yeah, he also makes that face when he's so, like, as though it's a a joke and then she's like, no, I'm really like, equally in recovery. She's like, I'm going to meeting this right now while you're putting air quotes around sobriety.

Yeah, so. But I also like, I mean, maybe it's the cynic in me, but like the like the self-congratulatory moment of like being like, oh, I made it four days without drinking. It's like, like, go and get some nine months. That's not like not so there. Yeah, you're, but you just haven't drank in four days.

Yeah, like you just haven't like gotten around to it. Yeah, like you've just done other stuff, yeah. So, so anyway, so brother is graduating from college, and he's going to be like training soccer players, which is kind of hot. And so, James gives his brother $5,000. And he's like, I really saved this up. I've been doing Sex Unique Tuesdays,

or see you next Tuesdays. I don't think I'll ever be losing that job, so I've been saving my money, and I'll give it all to you right now. What do you think about that bloke? What do you think about that bloke? That was so nice of him. It was. It was actually very, very sweet. And this show is always really good at giving me like a really sweet James moment before they just totally just like destroy him, you know? It's like, yeah. Like his family is

really dark. And I think that he supports a lot of his family members and it's a big deal to him. He talks about realizing his mom had a drinking problem and then being put in charge of his brothers. I understand why James is the way he is because we've also seen his mom in past seasons and she's truly a psycho. Yeah, and I think that's, I'm with you on this. I think the thing with James is that

where, whereas Jack's also is just like, he does terrible things. With James, I feel like we get a glimpse into some like a sad childhood, like a childhood of being being ridiculed and tormented and never being good enough, and then at the same time having all this stuff put on his shoulders. And sometimes I feel so bad for him.

I feel like this is a kid who just went through hell and the knock at the therapy he needed to figure out how to channel all these emotions that are brewing under the surface and instead he just like puts on this big facade and says these awful things. So sometimes I feel so bad and then he does them and I'm like well fuck this guy anyway who the fuck cares about why he does it but at least there's like something interesting going on there was Jack's is just like a full-on psychopath. There's no interesting backstory there Jack's is just like a full on psychopath. There's no interesting backstory there. He's just like a psychopath who would cheat off of other people's tests in school

and you know was hot and came to LA and fucked around and now he's Jack's. Yeah, he has Jack's zero emotion and like him trying to like play it off as though he had this like aha moment and then decided to change the core of who he is. It's such a lie. It's just like I truly like it's I just called bullshit on it. Yeah I I call bullshit on too. I call bullshit major bullshit. So I by the way I just want to warn everyone that my laptop has been having some weird connection issues So some of the some of the signal is having a little Distorted so I apologize to everyone, but we'll all get through it together, right? Because that's what the spirit of anticoprusas and Christmas and Christmas yeah

So now we go over to see you next Tuesday. And James is explaining that he's like doing it sober and like doing sexy unique Tuesday. Keep calling it sexy unique Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. I love that. Sexy unique. And this is sexy unique Tuesday. I'm like, anyhow, that Tuesday is of the week. It's so unique. But he's saying it's like being forced to read Harry Potter instead of watching it in

the movies, in the movies, which I felt like that was a sad commentary on something. That was. I was just like, really hate this. Like I haven't read Harry Potter and I certainly didn't like the movies, but like the books are always better than the movies, like everyone does that. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. But I don't think anyone in this cast is a huge reader, so. He's like doing sexy damage.

Do you see you next Tuesday is like seeing the brothers Karamazov on screen. It's so exciting, but not as good as a book. It's like, I don't think you read the brother's caramazave. Yeah, no, it's like, just drop it. Like, let's not make any more literary references. Okay, James, you can do better. So La La struts into sir. And I don't know if you noticed this,

when she walked in, some lady at the restaurant like poked her head out the door to see if her friend was coming or something, and she swung on the shot. And I was like, someone just hit Serbingo right there. Ser Jack. Oh, amazing. I didn't catch that. Yeah.

Yeah, to be the one person. I love a background. Yeah. Yeah, the one person who breaks out of the anonymous pack and gets your head, it was just like nothing but this girl's head poking out as Lala walked by. I was like, you know what? She's at home somewhere, being like, that's me.

That's me right there. And all her friends were like, oh my God, that's you. Huge, huge. It's a huge moment. Because this way she doesn't be scrolling slowly to be like, there I am. If you're looking in the corner, there I am. It's like, no, you know, because this way she doesn't have to be like scrolling slowly to be like there I am if you're looking in the corner there. I am it's like no you don't even have to slow down or even press pause because my full on head Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was happy for you. Shout out to shout out to background lady your famous now. Yeah, you made it

So don't let it go don't let it change you Don't think that you can start opening up like a beer cheese I don't want to change you. Don't think that you can start opening up like a beer cheese factory now. Okay, like stay humble. Stay humble. Yeah, stay grounded. I know it's going to be hard. Yeah, you can do it though.

You can do it. Yeah. So Lala walks in and she's like, so Rand produced a film called Gaudi with John Chivalta and Kelly Preston. So we went to New York for that premiere, which was epic. Mm-hmm. I don't know if I can support this side of Lala. It's like this. I really love Lala, but this is a hard thing to support. I'm sorry. I'm here for the delusion that like I'm sure going to the Gaudi premiere was epic for her because I don't how but she has not been

to another premiere like that with like a list talent potentially, but I don't, I like like I like Lala's like gonfool Hollywood and she's like in the system now. Like she's like even of gaudy wasn't good, I haven't seen it so I can't really speak for it but I know I was also aware of it's rotten tomatoes mating Rating and it's like lack of theater present. Yeah, so yeah, I did the math

Yeah, I mean, you know the thing is this delusion is again one of the thematic elements of this show So it is nice to have Lala on that on that end of it. And it is hilarious to have this idea that she's going to these premieres. And then there was that photo of her and can over the summer, you know, with like Randall, like famous people. And like, but she still hosts this at Sir, which is, you know, laughable. Like she doesn't work at Sir. Yeah, she clearly doesn't. Clearly. No, she doesn't. She shoots it.

Her call sheet says show up at Sir at 9 p.m. She likes your scenes, but by no means does she work there and answer the fucks and take your reservation or quit? No, absolutely not. So Lala goes and sits down with Lisa who's sitting on a couch looking very perturbed about something. And Lala starts and sits down with Lisa who's sitting on a couch looking very perturbed about something. And Lala starts defending Gotti.

She's like, you know what? Excuse you, it was a great film. And I think it was like, I think because it was like a mob movie, Hollywood gets confused when anything like that is glorified. And even Lisa Vanderbomb was like, uh, it's like Godfather and good fellows and Scarface and Mean Streets and Donnie Brasco. It's like, let me show people like those movies. If a movie is good, people will like it.

And you won't have to like say that people get confused or like, Holly would had a hard time supporting it. It's like the movie was just bad. How's it okay to be like? Yeah, Holly would be like that. Holly would be like that. I just back. How did it take to be like? How did it take to not know how to rap its head around this whole mobster genre? Like, is that, that's like what? I don't know if I get that.

I don't know if I understand mobsters. No, and honestly, I feel like probably the like the fact that God, like Lala was linked to God in this way has gotten more people to watch it than would have watched it if like Lala hadn't been like promoting it. Yeah, I actually, I actually 100% agreed because the very first thing I did was I was like Gaudi, I feel like I just saw that on a list of like worst-reviewed movies of 2018. Like not even being shady, it's something I went to love. I was like, oh, it has a 0% on Rahn Tomatoes. Which is hilarious because James brings that up later, you know. But yeah, I just I just love Lala, like not blaming the movie, but blaming America.

Hollywood. Yeah, Hollywood for not knowing what to do with this crazy mobster genre. They didn't want to support it. No, they couldn't. They really couldn't. And a really hard time with it. Yeah. So Lisa is now like asking everyone what to do with James. She has like Tom Sandeval and and he Tom is like, well I talked him before and he seemed pretty cool and she's like, now don't be making excuses for him now. Like Lisa, you've given him like three job opportunities after he'd like yelled at your husband and got like wasted as a bus boy and did X, Y and Z. So, I mean, I don't know about the thing.

Yeah, like, come on. Yeah, come on. Come on Lisa. Anyway, so she's just, she's still like trying to figure out what to do. So now it's, now we have Lala and Raquel are outside having a conversation about what went down on gay pride. This scene was like very special to me. I really enjoyed watching Lala and Raquel interface.

Yeah, I like that Lala, like tells it like it is and she goes, your man isn't Johnny that people don't just like coming forward to say they talked to him. That was like very true. Yeah, that was like really, really weird. Yeah, no, that was exactly, that needed to be verbalized. And I'm so glad she didn't say something like, and I know Johnny Depp,

because Rand, my man, is doing a movie with him. I'm like so glad that was not part of the sentence. Yeah, but you know she was thinking it. Yeah, she was like, do I, do I drop that part of it? No, just let's keep it focused on James right now. Yeah, I'll save thatplex for later. Yeah, so Lala is all upset because she didn't like that Raquel implied that Lala does not support other women.

And I loved that Lala was like, she goes, I hate that I called was like, she goes, I hate that I called you dumb, but what else do you want me to call you? I have a lot of questions. I'm not dumb, okay? I just graduated college with a degree. Yeah.

Requel for someone who's not dumb, does a lot to make people think that she is dumb. She really goes out of her way. Yeah, like she makes it really difficult for people to not call her dumb. It's also amazing with this show, how they're able to layer in new characters who like plunged like deeper depths of dumbness, you know?

Like, like we sort of thought that like when Brittany came around, it's like, oh God, she's sweet, but she's dumb, but sort of thought that like when Brittany came around, it's like, oh god, she's sweet, but she's dumb, but then Raquel comes around and you're like, oh my goodness, I mean, next thing that's gonna come, that's gonna be basically like a cat toy, you know? Well, I mean, we have Teddy's, like, brother to a accord too, who also doesn't seem like

the sharpest tool in the chat. So maybe that's the tactic that they're using, it's just like, get like, pad this show full of dumbdoms with like even bigger dumbdoms so that like the other ones start looking like geniuses. Yeah, and we also can't overlook Adam, the new barcode. No. Who also does not seem to be so. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, so basically there's just like more conversation about like, you know, Lala saying that like, like, what else do I need to do? Like, she's basically doing this thing,

which is clapping. She's like, wake up, wake up, and Rikal saying stop clapping in my face. Like, one of those fights, like a clap fight, you know? Which is always very exciting if you ask me. So exciting. Yeah, I love a clap fight. And I feel like it's like, I don't understand Yeah, I love a clap fight. And I feel like it's like, I don't understand why Raquel is getting so upset because it's like, I think if Raquel just came forward to all these women who are asking her what's going on or trying to talk to her about this James situation, if she just said, hey,

I know that you cheated, but I don't care. So, that would end the conversation. But then like, hell is not like acknowledging that you cheated. And I think that all they want is for her to be like, yeah, I know this is true. Or like, I don't know why they're so invested. And I like, it's just very confusing. I think it's because she's dismissing everything

that they're saying. And they're trying to say it like, we're trying to help you. And she's just dismissing everything that they're saying. And they're trying to say, we're trying to help you. And she's just dismissing them. Because at least Brittany last year, she was aware that Jacks was cheating and she acknowledged it. And she was trying to move on, but she just couldn't, because she had for whatever other issues that she has. So people were getting frustrated that she was going back, but they were there because she was for her because it felt she was trying to like really

grapple with it. But here Rekel's just like doing a blanket like, no, what you're saying is wrong, and you're not supporting me. And even in this scene, she tries to spin it as like, I have been embarrassed by all of this, and like, I'm in need, and you're not helping a friend in need you know which was yeah friend is struggling like Raquel is like the big well Raquel actually is the victim but she's she in her mind she's the victim because she's the target of all these women yeah and like she just is not handling this well yeah she's handling it like a big dumb dumb would handle it yeah which is really lens credence this idea that she's kind of dumb. Yeah, I mean, she's not also doing herself any favors, like by being like bringing her like

multiplication table like ice cream drama into the conversation. Yeah. Just stay on task. Like let's just talk about the issue with Hannah. It's like, it's such an easy answer, but I kind of am enjoying seeing, like Raquel is now becoming like one of the main reasons I'm tuning in. So she's really like, I'm like, I'm like, keep up the good work.

Yeah, I was always surprised last season that she didn't have a bigger role, but like, now she's finally made her way in. And you know, it's paying off. I mean, like you said, just to jump ahead a little bit, when she and James were talking the next morning and how she felt hurt. She feels especially hurt being called dumb because she had trouble learning growing up and she literally goes, in elementary school, I had to retake my multiplication tables and

I couldn't join the ice cream party because I didn't reach my 12 skips for each time's table. And instead, she was sent into a room to watch Winnie the Pooh. So she hates Winnie the Pooh. It's like a huge trigger for her now. And also ice cream is probably a huge trigger as well as multiplication.

Yeah, she has ice cream from Winnie the Pooh over exposure and multiplication trauma. Yeah, so there's a lot that play here. Yeah, and I'm like, not you know, I'll never make fun of someone because they had trouble like when they were younger, like trying to learn things like multiplication because like kids learn different paces and everything like that. But the way she like still carried this like like a very sincere not like laughing at it, but like a very sincere like pain from

not being part of the ice cream party. In some ways it like spoke to me and in some ways I thought it was the best thing I've ever seen Yeah, it was amazing I'm also like recall we were never talking about like your ice cream childhood trauma I like talking about your boyfriend cheating on you know It also wasn't clear Did she actually did people who did their multiplication tables properly? Do they actually get ice cream or was it just like there was like a drawing about, did they get like an ice cream cone sticker? Like, what was the extent of this ice cream party? Because 12 scoops of ice cream is actually quite a bit for one child.

Maybe you've got a sticker and then you got to go to the ice cream party if you completed every number for multiplication. Randomly multiplication was one of the only things that math wise I could do growing up and I never got rewarded for it. You never ever ascended to ice cream parties. No, I never got an ice cream party to know that 12 times 12 equals 144. So now I'm fucking triggered. That's gross. Get it. Think about it. Think about it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Took me a sec. You know, the funny thing is ice cream is an ongoing ice cream is the thing that's going to bring these two together even stronger because as we remember from about two

seasons ago, the way that James coped through his last drinking issue was that he pivoted from booze to ice cream. They probably did bond over that a lot like on one of their first dates. Yeah, he's like, you know, I actually don't drink anymore. What I do is I have ice cream. Have I had ice cream before? Sometimes I'll just sit and have 12 scoops. You ever had 12 scoops of ice cream in one setting? She's like, no. Her eyes filled with tears and then she was like you eat a lot of ice cream and he's like yeah mate yeah I can only talk and then she was like here that one for me and the question is when he offers her the 12 scoop advice cream does she feel like

finally my moment or at this point does she have does she have such rage about ice cream that she just pushes it away? Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. It's probably, maybe she's hopefully get more answers. Yeah, she starts eating it and then it's like too much. Like she's had to have like exposure therapy to ice cream, where she can like eat a full scoop. She comes, she suddenly has like a flashback of like her least favorite multiplication problems like six times seven. So that was the that was the that was the one that that she was on like on her 11th scoop and then she got six to six six times seven and she just was like 41 and damn it went off. Yeah.

The six the seven the seven one was hard. A seven and eight were really hard for me. Yeah. So I got it. Yeah. No, no. The seven, the seven one was hard. A seven and eight were really hard for me. So I got it. Yeah, no, nine was the best. Because it's harder and harder. Then nine is like the best, because it's like, everything it always adds up to nine.

And it's always like one less. Yeah, nine was really easy and fun. And then 10 was just like amazing. 11 was amazing. 12 kind of hard. It's just the biggest number. So then you're just like amazing. 11 was amazing. 12 kind of hard. It's just like the biggest number. So then you're excited about it. But then after 12, it's just like...

After 12, I don't know anything. After 12, it's like that moment where Truman from the Truman Show steps outside of the studio is like, what is happening out here? It's like 13 times three. It's like 39. And then times three, it's like 39. And then after that, 13 goes beyond 39. Like you can multiply 13 by four because I don't even know how those numbers go up after that.

Oh no, I didn't even know the 39 thing. I was shocked that you even knew it. Yeah, that's what I was like and get with 13. Yeah, another language for me. Yeah, don't even get me started on 17. 17 is so fucked up. Like the thing is when you multiply 17, the numbers that come out of that,

you're like, that number is divisible by something and it's in the 17, 17 column. Yeah, it's too much. No, yeah, it's like 51. You would think 51, you could never even divide it by anything. Guess what? 17 times three, 51. You wouldn't even think that. You're a genius.

You're a math league. I had a lot of ice cream. Clearly. I got a lot of ice cream skates. I just have to say, back just briefly, back at that, at, uh, sir, when Lala was talking to Raquel. Raquel is saying that Lala should have basically been building her up instead of tearing her down, and she, she uses Lala and Logan of basically, like, joining forces to, like, make fun of her. And then that's when Lala just blows her head like she

her she just explodes and it's like we were bonding over the fact that my dad died you fucking twat and then just stormed off and recogga stupid yeah she's dead I like recalping in that she like won that conversation yeah I think she walked away being like, wow, while I really can't handle the truth. And it's like, no, like, that's not what one's out. She goes, I'm sorry about your dad and everything.

And it makes me really sad, but like I pushed back one thing and like you put out the dad card. I was like, you know what, Raquel, this is not, this is, this is not gonna earn you any extra ice cream. Okay, let's just say, let's just try to go, let's move on, et cetera. Yeah, no, it's a bad deal. Yeah, at which point she then goes and like cries to James.

And Raquel's crying is very, it's very off-putting because it's like I never really know what's going on with her, you know, when she cries. Yeah, I'm like, what is it that you're crying about? Like, what, like, are you crying because you're with a guy that's like cheating on you, but you feel like you can't be honest about that and you're like covering,

or are you really just crying because like, nothing's wrong except someone called you dumb, or like, what is the big problem? I feel like when Rick Held cries, it's like looking at fake fire, you know? You're like, that looks real, but then you look at it like, Rick Hell cries, it's like looking at fake fire. You know, you're like, that looks real But then you look at it like is that fire or is that just like some Sort of like tissue paper that's like fluttering in the air with light behind it, you know

Or is that like like a candle with a battery in it like is that is that a real cry? I can't quite tell It's hard to tell until you can get a closer look So at which point now James starts going on a rampage about Lali. He's like, I don't know who Lali Lathi she is. Disrespecting Raquel, just after her shit per me produced by Fat Man. And by the way, also that got in the movie got 0% Rotten Tomatoes. Okay, do you know how hard it is to get 0% Rotten Tomatoes? Here are the other movies that got 0% Rotten Tomatoes.

Babe, pig not in the city. Also Johnny's stealing terrible movie, Mad Max in the Thunderdome not beyond it awful movies awful all around Yeah, that read was incredible. Yeah, it was and then they just he is not he is not He's not I but he's also like never gonna be friends with La La again if he keeps this up He is really just he's burning that bridge He's like burning it and then like just like chipping away at the ledges to make the golf even larger Yeah, it's like not doing their friendship any favors and Yeah, yeah, so then they walk out of certain recaligial simpers. She goes she makes me feel powerless

That's not someone who's a feminist. Yeah. Oh, I have a lot of thoughts on that. I'm like, eh, anyone in the show is truly a feminist. And I don't think that Lala, it's like, no one can make you feel anything. Like you just feel things. Yeah.

So you've got to take responsibility for your own choices and actions for Kell. I do, I do really enjoy this shows ongoing, like grappling, philosophical grappling with the concept of feminism. Yeah. It really, it really challenges everything. It does. It's amazing to see them try and discover like what is really going on. Yeah. I never really figured it out. No, far I'm in the camp of Lala's new way of feminism that she launched last year. That was I thought of pretty, I like that. I like her new way of feminism.

Yeah. It's out feminism. Yeah. What was it that like her kitty can take it like a print champ? Is that like a feminism treatise? Treaties or what treat taught treat? I can't even say. Her kitty, yeah, she had like a kitty that takes it like a champ or something like that. Like a champ. I need to look up the exact quote because it was I found it heavily inspirational.

I need to look up the exact quote because it was I found it heavily inspirational. So it was good. So while you look that up, we'll now go over to Tom Tom, where there's a big line of employees, a line of people who want to be employees at Tom Tom, and Lisa is explaining what she looks for in an employee. She goes, I need young, vibrant energy. Pagache. I need someone to get out of here. I don't even have a plethora of experience.

You know, like Katie. Yeah, like a Katie Maloney. Yeah. Exactly. And I feel like a lot of these people that came in seemed like legit. Like they seemed like they would be a good bit for exactly what she's looking for. Yeah.

And she immediately on brand to the Vanderpump empire hired just some random that had no idea what they were doing, but happened to be related to another housewife. Yeah. Teddy Mellinkam's brother comes in. His name is HUD. And he's like, he's like, yeah, I worked at a boxing gym and I went to Hollister the other day. I was like, yeah, hi, Ed. It's like literally like on his resume.

Yeah, yeah. She's like, you, the bar back position is yours. Great. Can't wait to see what HUD's bringing to the table. You the bar back position is yours Can't wait to see what HUD's bringing to the table literally what's he's bringing to a table so Yeah, so they're like going through and like Tom Schwartz is just like oh This person can smile they're hired and Tom Sandeval though. He's like being like really super harsh on everything He's like dude, DUDE! It says you worked here for like three months. Like what's up with that? Like well the play shut down. Did it? Did it shut down? Or did you cause it to shut down? DUDE!

Dude, my favorite moment of his during this interview process I snorted when the guy's like, at least he's like, now are you a mixologist? And he goes, I am a mixologist. And then Tom goes, did you make craft cocktails? And then he's like, I did make craft cocktails. And Tom goes, did you take pictures of him? He's like, I had pictures of all the craft cocktails I made. And I was just dying. And what? I was like, stand up all thing to do. I know, I know. I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know. I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. I know, I know. I know, I know, but I love that he has a method of some sort and like I'm here for it. Yeah, you're just putting blind trust in him. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So, um, so then actually he had it on lock until he said the thing about the martini because actually a martini does have the vermucinate. actually a martini does have the vermousin it. No, so now I feel like I have to look at things up. A dry martini. So Santa Vos said he was like, what's a dry martini? And then the guy was like, it has this in vermous. And Santa Vos was like, no, a dried martini is made with no vermous.

And like, it was, he was wrong. So according to an answer on Google Google that I think it seems a little uncredited. It looks like it's from businessinsider.com. To do dry martini ingredients. I just said dry martini. I didn't even get to a third word. I just said dry martini.

Oh, okay. So it says for Muth is a type of wine that's flavored with botanicals and can make a martini dry or sweet. A wet martini then is the exact opposite. You want more dry. OK, I feel like some of this was edited out. We're going to have, OK, I'm not to click through. I have to click through.

OK, so there's Jim versus OK, dry, perfect or wet. OK, here we go. OK, let it on me. All right, a modern martini usually calls for a splash of driver move, which is known for its more bitter and less sugary taste. When people get confused is that when you request a dry Marchini, it doesn't mean that you want more driver move. It means you want less for move. A typical dry Marchini will have a

drizzle of driver move while an extra dry martini will only have a drop or two of vermouth Sometimes even not at all, but a wet martini You get more dry vermouth Wow Perfect martini on their other hand is made with equal parts dry and sweet vermouth with your vodka or gin Wow Well with your vodka or gin. Wow. Well, sand of all the mixologist really screwed the pooch on that question. Well, yeah, he, I mean, he, he really, it sounded like he was talking about an extra dry

martini, but now we know. Yeah. Now we know an educational moment. Yeah, I actually had no idea what made a martini dry, I think after all these years. Yeah, I didn't really know. I don't like Burmese, so I just ask extra dirty. Yeah, always the same extra dirty. So speaking of extra dirty, James shows up

for his reckoning with Lisa. And, you know, this is me sad. I know this was like a sad scene. Like, I don't know why. Like, I should be like, yes, this makes me happy to see him get fired. But it was sad because, you know, you know,

he shows up and Lisa's like, you can't be called, you can't be body shaming the employees and everything. And he goes, but they've called me names too. And when he said that, I got so sad for him because to me that was like nine year old James who's been picked on all day at school and then he does like one little thing wrong and then he's like reprimanded

and he's just like crying all day as a child and you made fun of his ears and all that stuff. I feel like, yeah, his trauma is like so front and center. Like he can't hide it. Like he can't even if he tries. Like it's just part of his like DNA as a person right now. Yeah. And so to see him like having this reaction,

like knowing what we know about his family and his history, it just like, to see it play out like this is like so sad. I know. And then he's like so desperate to try to get. And he's like, this is all I have have and it really is like all he has right now It's not like this is like his main DJ gig, you know what I mean like he's not like oh He's not a coach hell like yet like this is a stepping stone and like doing what he wants in his career and like He really should be like getting

Help and therapy and like potentially trying getting sober for a while and like trying to get all that shit under control. But it's just like, it just me, it just like broke my heart. And like his desperation, it's like, I mean, he was like crying. This was not like a rekeld cry. This was like a full sob. And he's like, his, his like this urgent like thing that comes out of him where he's just trying to show that like he can rise above his demons He's like Lisa. I just change I changed on the gay pro. I drank too much Lisa. That's it. It's just a dog And so comes out to me Lisa. That's all but I'm good. I'm sweet little James and sweet James Yeah, and you know and Lisa I was actually happy that Lisa said that he had to be sober for the rest of his life

Because she hadn't really said that before and is is that for some reason really, really said that? She's keeping it real, at least in that respect. And like that is like a true, like that probably is something he really needs to do. Because clearly he has like alcoholism in his family. So like it's very likely that he is indeed an alcoholic. And like I just have like a big problem with the fact that like, James is essentially what we're being told as viewers is that like the reason he's getting fired this time is because he said that shit to Katie and like, she essentially like snitched on him.

Like, instead of handling her drama on a one-on-one basis and being like, you're not allowed to speak to me that way and like, fuck you, she went around him and tattletailed on him to the boss for a job that she doesn't even need to like make ends meet. And he kind of does. So I just think that that's out of line. But you know, like by the same time he does need this job, so he should be a lot smarter

and now he handles himself at the workplace. Yeah true like like it's not it's not Katie's it's not Katie's obligation To make sure that like oh well James needs this job So I'll just sit here and take it and even if it is a fake job You know, I don't I don't I actually don't see this nitching I think it's being like you know I'm fucking tired of this because he's made these comments so many times and now I'm just like I don't want to deal with it anymore even if it is just for for even if this isn't really my real job I shouldn't have to come into my fake job and have to deal with these comments. Yeah. So like I actually don't think it's so bad that

I don't I don't view it as snitching I think it's her being like this is fucked up you can't say this stuff um especially also because you know Katie made those comments first, but he was acting like a big huge asshole out there. He was making a scene, he was flopping around, he was shouting, he had said disrespectful things, and Katie just like, Katie finally is like, okay, I'm gonna say something now, and she makes a stupid comment, and then he claps back at her in a really nasty, low way. So I don't know.

I think actually, I feel terrible watching him because I think that he doesn't know how to control himself. And it's heartbreaking to watch someone who is clearly the result of childhood trauma for whatever those traumas are. I feel like we don't even know the full extent. We just know that he's a person in a lot of pain and it's hard to see a person in that much pain, like go through even more painful shit. That's basically their own fault, yeah.

And saying like these things that are like, it's like these last like, gasps of like trot, like do it like he's saying things like do it like you say things like I won't ever drink I won't I won't ever do anything naughty again. I won't be naughty at all I'm sober now. I'm a nice person when I'm sober. It was almost like a child Like like pleading with his parent like love me love me love me and that's I think I thought And you could see Lisa saw that too I thought there was the whole thing was like very sad But I also thought it was necessary because

you can't have someone that's as dappic of a disaster in your restaurant. No, as like the face. Yeah, because she did like give him a heads up to being like, you are like one of the faces of this restaurant, like doing this DJ gig puts you way more front and center and blah blah blah, and like you can't act like that. And I mean, I do appreciate getting to the heart of it is your behavior is not okay. And that's just one piece of pie. I just really don't like Katie and that's just one thing that I'm gonna have to accept and deal with.

Yeah. No, that's fine. No, I totally get that. I'm willing to take a stance. Just to say it or so much. Thank you. But the other side, yeah, but I'm willing to take a stance. Just because I do. Thank you. But the other side yeah, but I'm just like I don't like anything she does and I'm like

what she stands for. So I think it's totally acceptable to be like I will no matter what I'm not gonna see this I'm not gonna give Katie this benefit of the doubt because I just like her that much. I think that's totally okay. So I'm fine with that. I totally get that too. That's what this shows all about too. And so, and then like two, I thought poetic things happened. Well, one poetic thing happened, which is to have like James, so he has to stand up. And then as he walks out of pump,

like they bring the audio back up on Tom and Tom and if you're doing some girl, like, dude, so like the bars, like two floors, it's like a really big job as like James is walking by. I don't know why I thought that was so funny. it was just like sad even more like humiliating like it adding insult to injury of them like so excited talking about their like new Opportunity Yeah, yeah, and then juxtaposed with him like literally losing the only thing he had going for him Exactly, and then he walks out on to Santa Monica Boulevard and I don don't if you notice this, but as you walk down Santa Monica Boulevard, he walked by someone working to work at pump. He was in the uniform and his face was blurred out. And I was like, wow, I feel like that's a statement to work at pump, but not

not be willing to even you're not even signing off on this show. You're not calling that. It was like a striking visual image to me. I didn't know how to interpret it. That would be me if I ever had to get a job at Pumper, sir. I would be fully just like trying to be incognito about the whole thing. It was like a former like Bravo podcast that were walking to work at Pum, like Taylor Blossett. Yeah, or it's probably someone that hopes to get like

in a real acting job someday and just wants to have no association with the show whatsoever. Only if you like go there with you know. Yeah, it's like largely that's who it was. It's like becoming. And then James walked off into sunset and even got a fade to black. I know it was really sad. It was a sad note to do to the viewers on Christmas Eve.

That's how we're gonna jump into the holidays watching. On this conflicting note of watching the pain of childhood trauma and substance abuse come face-to-face with revised perspectives in the wake of me too. It's a real, it's bleak. But at least you can take some sort of respite in the fact that maybe your family is like a little more functional than James's family. Yeah, maybe there's like some of that going hopefully it is

Yeah, it was just Cry out have a good cry you'll take a hot shower you'll feel a lot better and then you know Yeah, I have like a silkwood cry and then and the silkwood cry and then have some beer cheese Beer cheese. Yeah, that's that's your good Recipes recipe that you were recommending? Make that beer cheese. Yeah. I'm gonna send it to you, Laura.

I'll put it on the Watcher Crappens Facebook page. Which is great. Excuse for people to come, follow us there. Yeah, I love that vlog. I was subtle and nice. Thank you. Yeah, and everyone go follow Laura on social media because she puts up some really hilarious content and listen to to

sex-eunique podcast and babe and sex in city three like You're just you're just like you are a Christmas angel, you know doing this on Christmas Eve I'm Jewish so for me. This is like what you're a hot guy. Yeah, Angel. Thank you Thank you. I had to stop because I was like are there angels and like Judaism or what and then I was like No, yeah, there are like there are I think there I think there are I don't they're not really central You know, they're not like friends center. I just said there are actually not knowing like when they asked jacks Like he's like I know I just started business and they asked so you really didn't know that was me just now with the angel Judaism. Yeah, I know a lot about Judaism

No, I don't know I know I know I'm talking about Judaism. You're like, what do you know? I'm like not not that much I said that and realized I didn't know that much Well, it's been a delight talking with you. Thank you for giving me a chance to get onto my Kentucky beer cheese high horse Which I've no right to have a high horse about since it's not a recipe that's like native to my like formative years I just picked it up from a blog and I act like an expert on that so thank you for bearing with me on that You're so welcome. Thank you for sharing the gift of this beer cheese recipe with me and the community at large Yeah, absolutely as I want nothing more. I have a wonderful Absolutely, yes, I want nothing more. I have a wonderful Christmas.

Thank you for having me on the broadcast. Yeah, absolutely. I hope Christmas as well. Yeah, Merry Christmas to all and happy New Year and everyone be safe. And we'll talk to you all in the New Year in 2019. Bye everyone. See you next year, bye.

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