Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: DJ Banner - Live from SXSW, Featuring Jax Taylor
Episode Date: March 13, 2019We brought our show to South By Southwest to recap "Vanderpump Rules," and just when we thought it was safe to make fun of Jax... he done showed up and JAXED US. Craziness!! But don't let t...hat overshadow a great episode of VPR, which saw the Toms invite James on the annual cast trip, only to have Katie force them to disinvite him two days later. Oops. Thanks to Acast and Patreon for setting up this live show! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
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Now that's what I call wallentainment.
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Watch what crap is!
Watch what crap is!
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is!
What crap is?
What crap is?
I have crap! I have crap! I'm in the front. I'm in the front. I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
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I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front.
I'm in the front. Yay! I can't just watch, I can't just watch this so much that happens.
Yay!
Oh wow, first of all, loving this setup. I feel like there's a lot that I can do with this furniture.
Welcome everybody to Patreon's House of Creativity Day 2.
We are so excited to have you all here.
I want to first give a super quick shout out to our partners today to Acast,
who are presenting this next session. They're also doing podcast fortune telling in the front, so check that out.
And Amplifier is here printing t-shirts, so make sure you hop inside and check that out as well.
How excited are you guys for this next session?
We are so excited to have Watchwood crapens here with us today.
It sounds like as I read the description,
you're all already gonna know what it's about,
but I'm gonna do it anyway.
Obsessed with the real housewives can't get enough
of Vanderpump rules, they're here to help.
Watchwood Crappens airs five times a week,
which means you never have to wait long
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Join hosts, spend Mandel Curren, Ronnie Carem,
as they dissect nearly every detail of every show
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Couple fun facts are currently touring North America.
They're getting 1.7 million listeners per month,
which is amazing.
Whoo, yeah!
Love that.
They've been featured in Entertainment Weekly
and on Buzzfeed's list of podcasts
to make your commute less shitty.
Please welcome Watchma Krabbing! Oh my God.
Thank you for coming to our little South by Southwest Show.
This is so exciting.
You know, while Ronnie gets set up, you know, we told the story very recently, but we have
to tell it again that one of our very, very, very first live shows ever was here in Austin, Texas. Oh, yeah
We had like 50 people or whatever and we called it crap by crap west
Because we're like we will never place out by Southwest that's impossible and yet here we are today
This is totally surreal. So thank you guys so much for showing up. Yes, and that was a key bar
So go drink there, okay? I'm sure we'll be there at some
point today. Also, this is from Kaz and Jenna. It's a street waffle. So we're going to catch
you. You're so much more athletic than I am. So we don't we don't have our full 19 hours
that we normally take to tell a damn podcast or a damn recap of a stupid show on Bravo.
Today we have an hour so we're gonna have to speed through.
But when I was watching this last time, I'm sorry, it has to see my gorgeous face before it open.
Yeah, it's like, you're hot. Okay.
I knew this was not gonna be a good, we're doing Vanderpump rules by the way.
Yes.
Hey, back there. I'm so sorry for the rock people who just wandered in here
when we were, so I knew this was going to be a bad episode
for Katie, because yesterday I was taking an app
and the way I go to sleep is like I really get
marinated in the horrible news of the world,
you know, like I love it.
I had a dream about Jill Zare and right after,
which makes sense.
Yeah.
But this was the first headline I read.
Estimated 8,000 more bottles of ranch dressing
cleaned up after an I-70 truck crash last week.
A truck of ranch crashed.
Yeah.
Into a creek.
Yeah.
Okay.
If that's not a way to set up a van a pump rules we have, I don't know what it is.
If that's not a way to set up a fuck you Katie episode.
You know, Jackson's here itself by Southwest, right?
Yeah.
No, he's not here.
No, he's not here.
I'm sorry, I'm not here.
I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm'm sorry, I'm not here. I'm not here.
Special guests.
No, he's not here.
He's here in.
He's here in space.
There was a combination of excitement and fear in the audience,
at the prospect of Jack's showing up here.
That is my worst fear is Jack's standing in the back.
Yeah.
Jack says coming out with mixers, so now he actually
is getting paid to slip things in people's drinks.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's fun because it's true.
Love a grown.
So this week's episode starts off.
There's a Trixi Monaco song.
I could not actually understand her lyrics this week.
Could you understand her lyrics?
Trixi Monaco is drunk bitch this week, OK?
Trixi Monaco is the rock star who writes all of the songs for Vanderpempel's.
Yeah, all the royalty-free music.
Hold on, where is it?
Let's go!
I don't follow, oh, oh, fresh, ah, fresh, ah!
Welcome to my gala, whoa.
Someone needs to check Trixie and Jerry Hab.
Okay, she's lost it.
She's still got the ever-dependable Let's Go in the beginning, which I appreciate.
That's a signature, really.
That's right, every song with it. Let's go!
And we're in something with Gala.
So I'm in Trixie.
You're doing great.
So we start off at TomTom where it's like,
oh, it's a week till TomTom opens
so everyone's busy pretending to be doing stuff.
Like Pandora's off the side being like,
oh, that's good there, that's good there,
that's good there.
I'm like, you're staring at a wall.
Lisa's like, numbers, numbers, table.
There's a table, there's a table.
Hello, tables, tables, business, business.
And Tom Shorks is like, oh, Lisa Baba,
are we gonna do the POS training today?
And I was like, I did not know that Jack
should be working there.
We've been trying to train that POS for seven years.
Okay.
We need numbers, numbers, business, business,
businessmen and envelope.
Yeah.
So he's like, why can't we just put number one, number two,
number, it doesn't work like that.
Where's Puff Daddy going to sit?
What's about Puffy Puff?
And then it cuts to Puffy the dog,
which I didn't even know Puffy even existed,
just melting on the bar top like this.
I'm like, what is happening with these dogs?
What drugs are being slipped into their food?
Someone keeps Jackson away from them, please.
Yeah, it's like a Jackson makes her commercial,
just passed out dogs on a bar.
Yeah.
Sorry, that's so terrible, you guys.
And wonderful.
The POS.
I've wrote, literally, my notes say POS 30 times. If I did a find and replace in here, it's POS The POS, I've wrote literally my notes say POS 30 times.
If I did a find and replace in here,
the POS, POS, computer, computer system.
I like that the episodes start off with counting,
like how to count, because like, those are some very important,
you know what, I have to interrupt this,
I'm very excited, because we are huge fans
of ladies of London here, and I,
I recognize someone who is on ladies of London wandering in And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Anyway, where is Sanduva? Where is Sanduva? There's almost Tom Tom.
He's like, something came up.
Which turns out to be the most terrifying motorcycle shop
in the world, OK?
I live in this neighborhood.
I live in West Hollywood where they go.
I went to this place.
It's called Thunder Road.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm a Vespoirider, OK.
I'm the gaiest of the gay thing
that could ever walk into Thunder Road.
I just needed a helmet. Is that so hard? Oh my God. I was like,
sorry, I'm sorry, can I have a helmet? I'm sorry.
That's your little bug. You got a daughter.
But they were talking and locking.
I know, right?
But you know, I? Minicord.
But I thought I was a gay thing that I ever walked in the Thunder Road
and then enter Tom Sandaba, okay?
And a bright purple shirt with whole netting on it.
Yes.
Let me take off my vegan leather jacket here.
Yeah.
People are very upset about that, I'm sure.
So yeah, so basically he wants for like the opening of Tom Tom,
he wants to have a grand entrance,
so he wants to get a motorcycle with a side car
that Tom and Tom can arrive in.
And I love, first of all, of course,
Tom Schwartz is the side car.
Second of all, I also feel like this is a disaster
way to happen, having just,
I'm just imagining that side car,
just like separating like a disaster to happen. I'm just imagining that sidecar, just separating
like a final destination moment.
And Tom Schwartz is hurtling down Santa Monica Boulevard
into Dohini and just like the West Hollywood trolley death,
scariness.
And the death is like, oh, you know what?
You're not, I don't want to take you.
You just go back.
It's just awkward.
I'm down for that.
Yeah. Tom Schwartz really. I'm down for that. Yeah.
Tom Schwarz really deserves some pain in his life.
Like considering the guy does nothing,
was handed a restaurant, and still barely shows up.
They're showered.
He could use a little throwing in the traffic, I say.
So Arianna is doing her best Arianna,
like which is a masculating tom at every turn.
She's like, why are we spending that money?
Why are you wearing that?
Why are you wearing gold shoes?
Ugh, why are you spending so much on a motorcycle
on these things?
Then you see why she does it, because he's like,
God, I've been thinking of this for like 10 years.
There you go.
Like I've been thinking about it, okay.
Dude, dude, bro.
So, Thunderbrood.
Yeah.
So then, we then go back to Schwartz, who's like, oh, I've got butterflies.
My triplet brothers are coming in.
Okay, fine.
So then...
Yeah, ThunderPumps.
Could it reoptor them having the point?
They could want me to find out.
But then, I do business.
I do business.
Bandy business.
So then, we see, like, some B-roll.
We see, like, all around Los Angeles. Los Angeles like Melrose Avenue, etc. And I don't know if you caught this
But they showed like an image of there's a place on Melrose Avenue called House of Intuition and they showed House of Intuition
And then they cut directly from House of Intuition to Brittany lying on a couch with frozen vegetables on her cheeks
And I was like yes, I am into it in your future.
I try to once frozen food.
Jai, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay.
House of intuition.
If that was real, every time we'd walk in,
they'd just say, you're going to be a failure, go home to your mother immediately.
So, yeah, Stasi comes over because she's caring and she
brings Brittany Jello shots because that's medicine on this show. Really I just want to
get to good things. So I'm skipping through a lot of Brittany and Stasi, but poor Brittany
is so delusional because Stasi of course is really not there to check on her. She's just
there to bitch about, you know, Kristen. Right.
Because the last time we saw Kristen was at a party at her house
and her boyfriend kind of got in a fight
with the girls or whatever.
So Stasi's like, how much does it take for Katie to see
that it's not working?
Carter was born a brat, he is a brat now,
and he'll always be a brat.
And Brittany's like, is Katie's fault?
Does she has, or is Kristen's fault? Is Katie's fault?
Is Katie's fault?
The Chris has to pay the rent?
Is Katie's fault it?
Oh, that other stuff.
Oh, my god, Britney.
It's a pretty constant trade, Britney.
Apparently, apparently, Kristen has been saying that she's
been telling the girls, like, seriously, seriously.
I just wish Carter would get better like Jax.
I'm like, at what point in this world does Jax
ever become a role model?
And what bar is that that you want Carter
just to reach Jax level?
This is just a very sad state for Miss Chris and Dodie.
That also never happened, by the way.
That is a total lie.
She was saying she wants him to be more like Jax!
Nobody has ever said that ever. Yeah, you're right. That was a lie. Yeah,
it's a lie. I never saw a clip of that. Yeah. And when she says it, they do the top
chef shing. Someone gets eliminated and Stasi's just looking at her like you
remember that Kristen fuck jacks on her boyfriend's couch, right? Yeah. So then
James hit home.
Which is a good place for someone
from this show to work, you know?
Home.
I just want to point out this club
is directly upstairs from a Dave and Buster.
So let's.
So, you know, DJ James Kennedy's really moving up
in the world.
If anyone wants to meet, I'm gonna be spinning records now
and then playing some ski ball later.
It's going down, mate.
It's going down.
I'm playing the basketball nets, yeah.
Cue-ba!
So Tom shows up in a limo with the other Tom and my favorite triplets of all time Larry Larry the other Larry
Where they're from be hard I don't dare Larry Larry. I call the other Larry Alvin Simon and Theodore that's
Yeah, did they get an accent the brothers? Did you guys hear them talk?
Why were they talking like that? Like hey, hey odd triplets and they're like
We got for-ish.
Yeah.
I know it's like cool to see famous people, guys,
but don't start lap dancing one of those triplets.
Like, did you see that girl?
I never felt like that.
That girl was a Flintstone if I've ever seen one.
And she was just like doing that butt dance,
like where it cats like rubbing its butt on the scratcher thing but on one of the
triplets and her phone's hanging she's like this and I'm like oh god I get that girl
so many times for lesser people than one of those triplets I'll say I'll admit it
like it's just be better guys yeah it was a disturbing thing whatever so
anyway so they're there at the VIP section they're having fun they're all getting
drunk and they're so excited to be there, and the times are like,
Oh wow, this sign is about to fall down on the audience.
The weather god loves those triplets.
It's the jack's sign.
It's a steady spot.
So anyway, so.
Ranch is just going to start dripping down the walls.
Or maybe.
Grant is just going to start dripping down the walls. I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this.
I'm horrible at this. I'm horrible at this. I'm horrible at this. I'm horrible at this. I'm horrible at this. They want to have a bachelor party before they get married to their work, which is excuse for saying it's time
for the cash trip.
And they want to invite James, you know,
and they're drunk.
Well, they're going to have a bachelor party the day
after they get married, which is so this cast.
Like I finally got married.
I'm going to fuck as many girls as possible today.
Yeah, exactly.
So yeah, he's like, dude, we're thinking of having
a commitment party to Tom Tom, bachelor party, bro. And Tom, he's like dude we're thinking of having a commitment party to time to ambassador party, bro
And Tom number two is like yeah, it's gonna be like a master reset like when you turn off your phone and then turn it back on
That's like the worst analogy I've ever heard
So anyway, so they invite they invite James and're all excited, and we all know that we have
to know that I'm so sorry.
Please, please.
We have to note.
Tom Schwartz invited James, okay?
Tom Schwartz.
Okay, internet.
All right.
Yeah, exactly.
That's an important fact for later on, you know?
Yeah.
So now, so they've invited him, and now it's like the next day or whatever, and all the girls have gone over to this cat cafe that's on Melrose Avenue.
And, you know, Ariana's like, I feel like all the dogs get all the love,
and the little kiddies get left out.
And as a cat person, I am very thankful, because I feel like we don't get enough cat drama.
Like, what about the cat's after re-return to the shelter?
There's a lot of people. Get your fucking animal out of the coffee shop.
How about that?
How about that?
Okay.
I'll stand up for those people.
My mom's here.
Can you tell?
That was for me, mom.
So anyway, so stop.
I've got the whole foods and there was a god damn dog in there.
Are people fucking kidding with that?
I know.
I know.
That's my baby.
So Stasi finds a little black cat,
and she's like, I'm going to call you Salem,
because that's the sort of basic bitch I am.
And Ariana's like, oh my god, that's
a name of Sheena's cat.
And then it cuts to a flashback of Sheena and Marina
Del Rey being like, Salem!
I'm here.
Salem, you came out.
Hey Salem, I'm Adam I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, rent so but everything's okay. Ha, I'm like hashtag blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Stasi then says something very important.
She goes, you know what, when she tried to sage me, that was like a dagger.
So the Thompson and Gelson's, which we rant against that grocery store just in general
on this show, but that store.
I'm surprised to take and so long for that store to wind up on this show.
Yeah, that show makes whole feeds look like the dollar store, like the dollar tree, okay?
Yeah.
So this is why we watch this show, this dialogue.
Tom's like, I would get dumpling some hummus, but dude, that's like her kryptonite.
And then Tom too goes, dude, what was the last time you had Ravioli?
Tom goes, not on the semi-diet man, dude!
Butt plagues!
In the prodise section, it's a juicer, you guys.
It's not about me.
I'm sure to think this show is just being scripted by robots and computers.
It's just auto-generated.
It's basically an iPhone.
When you tap this suggestion over and over again, that's what's coming out of their
mouths.
It could have been a tub of guacamole.
They're just set to pick something up and say, blah, blah, in the store.
Yeah.
Basically, Tom Schwartz found a good deal in Puerto
Vierta, which by the way I would never trust any sort of vacation deal, that Tom Schwartz
finds, you know.
Yeah, you married Katie, you don't get to plan anything ever.
Yeah.
So they leave in the store as signers above their head and it says basics, which is so funny
to me.
Yeah.
I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so
good at commercials and he could do them in like seven minutes or less.
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So they call up the girls to be like, hey, this is the plan. We're going to go to Port
of Iarta. And so the girls are over the cat cafe. We're going back and forth. And they're
like, yeah, hey, Papa, yeah, we're going to to part of our to a found evocation baggage. It's like great, who's gonna go?
And like, um, well, the Tom's bow,
Jack's, Gina Adam,
what's there's someone we're leaving out?
James, Gina Adam, James, James,
the Tom's, you know.
And this work, Haiti becomes Katie.
Oh my God, yes, she dropped it
because she started off this scene like,
blah, blah, blah, we're playing with cats, blah, blah.
I was like, Katie, come out.
OK, stop hiding behind that lady in Stevie Nicks hat.
Come out and play Haiti.
OK.
I hate you, but I don't need you to hide from me.
I can't mock you if you're hiding behind that stump.
All right, get out here.
So she's like, excuse me. Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, I'm yesterday in your place because I'm your wife and I said no, okay I'm like I almost quit my non-job because of him and like I don't even want to work at the same place in him
So like why would I even want to go to Mexico with them and shorts?
I probably unless she does that like she's doing a cop like an open mic. You know
I'm a right sailor. Am I right sailor?
Sailor is like coughing up a fur ball that looks like ranch at this point. So now, by the way, and shorts goes, oh, no, no, uh, sandival invited him.
It's okay, no worries, no worries.
So right immediately throwing sandival onto the bus when shorts is the one who invited
him.
Well, James doesn't need to be there and I'm your wife.
Boom!
I'm pulling rank.
I was like, where does that have rank?
I think Katie being married to Tom.
What kind of rank is that?
We really need to rethink our military plan of school.
Yeah, that's very, very sad.
So Katie then's like to the girl,
she's like, if there's ever a question of James or Katie,
I mean like, no, no, it's me.
I'm like, I think actually at this point,
I am actually leaning towards James, which is very sad,
because James is also a pretty terrible person too.
But that's by the way, that's one of the reasons
why I love this show, because ever since the beginning,
everyone's always awful all the time,
and I'm always against everyone,
and it's like a really cool moral conundrum to be in,
I like it.
Yeah, where we really go deep into our moral makeup, guys.
Watch your grab-ins.
Yeah.
And, you know, it is a thing because you just can't go to work and call some girl fat.
Like, sorry, the world's just changed, okay?
Yeah, maybe that worked for 2017, but in 2019, we're different now, okay?
Yeah.
It's good smart about this.
So, Ariana's pissed now because she's like, um, was it the smartest choice
for Tom to invite James not really, but was it a smart choice for him to get a white motorcycle
with a sidecar or wear those hats or those shoes? I mean, not really, but why doesn't anybody
yell at Schwartz? Everybody's always nice to Schwartz. Ah,'s not just so nice, which is so true. It is true. So then the next song is,
let's just try, let's just try, let's just try.
Let's just try.
It's like, I'm glad you got that rest in there.
It's really made it sing.
Sure I'm trying, I was trying, I liked it.
So now we're Carter and Kristen are at a hotel restaurant.
They're on a date, which I love.
This is like the most loveless date we've seen all season.
I love a good loveless date.
Yeah.
Yeah, anniversary date.
Yeah, a loveless anniversary date.
I was a waiter for a long time,
and it takes many years for people to get this point,
to get to this point of lovelessness,
to see people do it before they even reach the marriage stage.
It's like, it touches my heart.
So Carter is on a, I'm not poor campaign.
He's like, I think I'll have a Pinot Grisio and a Souvenom Blanc and the lovely lady is
going to have a Martini and also your most expensive something else.
And also I'll have a Tequila and a Souvenom Blanc again because I have money which I have.
Oh my God, this guy literally ordered 10 drinks. It was so funny. It was like she
met on an AA meeting, you know, like when she was on that date with her husband
when he was trying to quit drinking, she's like, why can't you just have like three?
I think I have one of each other, Pamcock, just please. Thank you. So, Carter's like, well, it's an anniversary of our first date.
Thanks, Bumble.
And you know, like every Bumble executive was like, no.
Please don't say that on National TV.
This is why Bagel works.
What's that other one?
Coffee meets Bagel.
Coffee meets Bagel.
Yeah.
Swallows, basically.
OK, so Carter is like, well, I did convince you
to come to my place on the first date.
She's like, seriously?
A crayon.
Seriously?
Kristen's just playing head volleyball
with herself during this whole day.
She's like, head volleyball.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Seriously. Seriously? Seriously? Yeah, Carter has such a romantic story.
He's like, well, I did convince you to come over my house.
And the first night, and I told you I had a couch, and I did.
It's like, oh, yeah.
The first summer when I went out with Carter, he offered to sleep on the couch, and
I could sleep in the bed, but he didn't even have a couch.
And the producer goes, so what did you do?
And she goes, fuck them in the kitchen.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Which by the way, that wasn't even an option.
Ha ha ha ha.
How did that come into the mix?
The innocence of Chris did.
Like, I didn't sleep in his bed.
And I was like all ready to get like,
out-raising and dignity and about, like, that's fucked up. You know, what a scheme, I was like, oh to get like, outraging and diggin' about like, that's fucked.
Uh, you know, what a scheme.
I'm like, oh, they had sex in the kitchen.
Yeah, I'm like, yeah.
I'm sorry for the spatulas.
So he's like, uh, do you know how hard it is
to confront that you headed dragon
that is Stasian Katie?
And she's like, oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like, but you know I was pretty offended, you know
I mean you told them we sleep in different beds and that you pay the bills and I feel kind of betrayed
I mean you talked about stuff. We normally keep in house
You don't want her talking about how she pays all the bills and you sleep in separate beds
That is crazy. Yeah, you bet your ass. She's gonna talk about it. Chris and goes you know what?
Maybe I am a giant pain in the ass.
I'm like, okay, that's prog, yes.
We can just end it right there.
You are a giant in the ass, you know?
And then the best part, the waiter comes out
and he's like, congrats on your anniversary
because this is so awkward even for him.
And they put down this hideous cake from Ralph's.
You know, what we just saw people go to Galcin's, you know?
And then she's like, smile.
Like taking the picture for Instagram
to make Stasi jealous later.
So good.
And Carter's like, why am I the only one
who's doing anything wrong?
What are you doing that you could be doing better?
I'm like, you know what?
Yes, Kristen is really terrible and a disaster.
But you knew that she was on TV.
So you really can't expect her to raise her game.
You're the one who went down to that. so I'm sorry sir. You have to improve
Just get that bill paid. Yeah, okay, so next we get one of our favorite bravo staples. Oh my god
I'm so glad that's happening. Yeah, the giant of waxing wasn't everyone so excited that we had that for today
Yeah, patreon's coming up with so so many creative things do during this festival, like the fortune-telling outside.
I mean, we really miss the boat here, guys.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm a little sad that we don't have a little vagina stage over there.
I could have used a Fupa jewel, like a Fupa, like, jeweled heart.
Yeah.
There, okay, guys.
Yeah, I think that heart and crown combo that Stasi got, it really was classy.
Yeah, I agree with the aesthetician there.
Okay, so can we all agree that this is worth fast forwarding?
Thank you.
Sorry if it's an waxing or your three wedding dresses or what's the other one?
Oh my god, I'm real housewives of Atlanta this week.
They really up their game and they went to get colonics.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm done.
Yeah. And FaceTime's her boyfriend's while colonics. Yeah. Yeah. I'm done. Yeah.
And FaceTime, her boyfriend, while getting one.
Yeah. Guys.
Yes.
Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. I'm not in my mind, okay? A lot of shen horrible people, colonics. So anyway, so now it's girl's life.
She meant Peter.
Yeah, so Shina shows up at search.
She's like, I'm wearing my fuzzy slippers,
but I also have sneakers,
cause in case I go on the bar top,
I wanna have sneakers,
so I don't lose traction for over again,
but I have my slippers that way I can be fuzzy too.
It's like really fascinating,
and this is sort of my life. I mean, no, no,ey. Yeah. And he's like, so what's your outfit?
She's like, I'm like, victorious, secret.
It's a bra.
And he's like, cool.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Uh, so Vanderprung fenders.
She's like business, business, business.
Hello, cheers.
I'm watching 12, so what's your sandwich?
Life, table 159, because they're not in order.
Intentionally.
Britney is just that girl at work who comes in.
She's the one who always brings birthday muffins.
It doesn't tell anybody she's bringing them,
but still expects you to pay her a dollar.
That's the best Britney.
She is that girl.
She comes in.
She's like, are you being?
Because she's missed work for three days because she got her wisdom teeth out. And she's like, Oh you be on! Because she's missed work for like three days
because she got her wisdom teeth out.
And it's like, shut up, Brittany.
What is happening with your mother?
Remember your birthday?
It's like, god damn Brittany.
I just like the idea of birthday muffins,
not even cupcakes.
What's Brittany?
Yeah.
Ma'am, I'm nothing.
So meanwhile, this is the one time this episode where I felt bad for Katie, because she gets
trapped by the famous Sir Fridge with Sheena.
She's like, I'm very busy.
Mmm.
She's like talking like Yoda for some reason.
She's very busy.
Mmm.
Yeah, Sheena's full on up at the season in my loving.
This table, they only ordered like four drinks.
I think it might be my biggest sparkly bra
because they took me a hundred bucks.
Ah!
Kitty's like, mm-hmm, I'm trying to be nice right now.
No, she didn't even, her, yeah, this is Katie's face.
Ah!
And then she swigs from her whale flask
that she brought to work.
So she doesn't have to wait and line to get a drink
while she's working.
Fucking Katie, she just got fired,
someone fired for being an alcoholic.
She, I mean, and calling her fat.
She was like, I know that Marina Del Rey does really far away,
but I'm hoping that if I say the magic word, you'll come.
And you know what the magic word is?
She's like, is it kill me right now?
Yeah.
No, it's enchilada.
It's enchilada.
Magic word, enchilada.
Katie, guess what Katie's reaction is?
By the way, just seeing Katie walk around work
in a silk pajama robe, swinging a flask and rolling her eyes
is like the image I'm going to have in my mind
for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I love it.
She's like, yeah.
It's like Mrs. Roper just walking around
and all better with her.
With her wear of a glass.
So then she's like, listen, I just want to like cook dinner
for you guys and like have you guys check out my new spot.
Ha ha ha.
Spot.
Not Adam's spot.
Baa.
You know, like in my vagina, G spot.
Ha.
He's like, oh, can we go back to the enchiladas
Guess what Katie's reaction was
Okay
So let's see next up she knows like the best thing in this episode are the random shots of she know okay
Because everyone's like everyone really works here.
It's like shots of like...
Table table, drink, drink, maa.
And then, then you see Shino, she comes up to the window,
it's from the kitchen point of view, and she's like,
Shia-ja!
I'm not wearing a group of tangerines!
Do you know, they make that window smaller and smaller every time,
just to torture her, because originally it was probably just just like this and how she's like cramming in
That's how she would deliver mail
She got fired by the USPS so Katie is
She got fired by the USPS. So Katie is, uh, Katie and Tom, number two,
we're sitting with Stassie and Bo,
which I mean, Bo's nice and everything,
but he's also participating in this.
Okay, you're dating Stassie, Bo.
Okay, how much can I like you?
Whoa.
Whoa, wind, stop, wind, my car.
Whoa, that's crazy.
It's so windy here, okay.
No, I have a problem with wind.
He doesn't support other coffees. It's so windy here, okay? No, I have a problem with wind. Ha ha ha ha.
That's the sport of the coffees.
So Katie's like, um, okay, Tom,
so go until your friends stand up all the his friend,
James, can't come to Mexico.
And I really feel great for me putting this position.
I feel really great.
It feels awesome to me.
I was standing up for me.
It's like, oh my god.
Oh, and leave her. Leave her God. Oh. And leave her.
Leave her.
Leave her.
What a monster.
Sen Katie now starts trying to talk all formally.
She's like, the lack of consideration,
the complete disrespect to me, it's kind of appalling to me.
Hashtag convenient narrative.
Am I right, everyone?
Convenean narrative.
Convenean narrative.
But he isn't furiating.
You know, he acts all innocent.
And then he gives the sorry everybody hates.
Sorry you feel that way.
Yeah.
Killa both.
Just Killa both off.
I wish it was like a soap opera where it could be like,
and then the car went off the cliff.
And then they'll come back recast his like Lisa Rina
and Robert Duball or something.
Yeah.
Someone in the audience really enjoyed that casting decision.
I like such a senior singer.
I show for him.
Finally, a show for Robert Boni's Arena.
I mean, Hayley Mills deserves another chance.
Am I right, guys?
The fun of my event talking about it this time.
What is Karen Allen up to these days?
You know, I always knew Karen Allen comedy would kill itself
I saw it last.
All right, Pete Goulet.
All right, so Tom's like, he's right there, he's right there.
Go tell him, go tell him right now, he's right there.
When he goes tell him, I realize I'm a comedian in there.
And so he's like, I guess I'm going to go talk to him.
So he's right there.
And he goes, chill, Bobo. He's like, do not I guess I'm gonna go talk to him. And I'm saying, he's right there. And he goes, chill, Bobbosch,
they do not tell me to chill, Bobbosch.
For someone to look at me and make comments
and how I look my body, I should get over that.
So now Tom was like, oh, fuck, now what do I do?
And that's like one of these weird like moral
gray areas of this show, right?
Because on the one hand, it's like what you said before.
Like, we were shockingly on Katie's side.
We actually did feel like James should be fired.
And I sort of get that.
Like, if you're going on vacation,
why would you ever want to go on vacation with someone
who was harassing you?
But the same time, Katie's Katie, and she's awful.
And I don't really know where to stand on this,
except just to absorb it and just feel better about myself.
I don't know.
I take the role that Bo takes.
I take his plan.
Just deny it and say it's all the woman's fault.
That's what you do when you're married.
You're like, listen, I'm sorry my wife didn't get her meal.
She's really pissed.
I'm not yelling at you.
She is.
Bro, we're still friends.
We're still friends, you know?
So that's basically what Bo tells him.
He's like, just say it's not us, just say it's the women.
And Stasi's like, yes, it is the women!
Oh!
The nearest Targaryen!
Okay.
And she keeps with her Game of Thrones.
I would prefer if Stasi would identify with more of a Cersei,
because you know what she is.
And I'm not saying she's boning her brother or anything because I know that's all.
Like once you fuck your brother, that's the only credit you get in life.
But I do feel like she's someone that we should all yell, shame out.
You know, at some point in our lives, yeah.
And then she'll make you regret it by nuking your church.
Yeah. I mean, come on, Stasi.
She'll always win.
So then we have this like a random shot of Jack's bartending,
and this girl comes up to him and goes,
hey, can I get a mojito?
We go, sorry, I'm not muddling this one.
No, no.
I'm not really going to be a tit tonight, sir.
So whatever said that to me, oh my goodness.
That girl was pissed too.
And she had like 21-year-old kindness in her,
because she knows she was really young instead. But she still in her. Because she knows she was like really young instead.
But she still had that kindness
where she only told him off with her eyes.
No, ma'am, okay.
Let your auntie Ronnie help you.
Manager, manager, manager, owner, Guillermo Diana.
Yeah.
You're going to listen from Yelp of who to call
and when my ass goes to eat something.
Fuck her.
Fuck her.
I'm like, listen here, Luby's.
I want to speak with Mr. Luby.
Get him over here.
Man, he's on fish.
Who does that?
Not muddle ain't snide.
And yet, he's going to try to sell us beverages.
No.
So, of course, Tom Sandivall has to carry out Katie Sturdy
work.
So he's like, uh, that one number one,
Bubba Sandivall, you want to talk outside?
So they go outside in the smoking section.
My favorite set piece of the show.
Tom Sandivall is like angry gum chewing.
He's like, uh, because he knows what's happening.
He knows what's about to come.
He's like, all right, dude, what do you got to say?
Tom Sandivall is such a drama queen.
I love his drama queen eyes because he's like microbladed and you know he's got like
dyed eyelashes.
You know he's that kind of guy.
I just got new black eyelashes.
Come at me bro.
And this is how he looks at it.
I mean, he's like.
So sexy.
It's very Chicago.
Yeah.
He had it coming, bro.
So, yeah, he's like, oh, did you talk to the girl?
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. So sexy, it's very Chicago. Yeah. He had it coming, bro.
So, yeah, he's like, oh, did you talk to the girls about James?
Because I feel the wind getting sucked out of myself a bit about this trip.
And I appreciate you being a champion for James, but it's not going to work, bro.
You invited him.
Yeah.
You invited him.
So then Ariana comes outside and she's like,
hi, okay, fuck you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm sick of my boyfriend being a mouthpiece.
Say it, Tom.
He's like, respect women, Tom.
Exactly.
She'll have babies when she's ready, man.
That's why she's showing the gum.
He's like, all right, you speak and I'll chew.
You all have red, red, red, red, red.
I'm not ready, man.
I'm not ready, man.
I'm side-car, I'm side-car, I'm being a mother,
being a mother, being a mother, being a mother, being a mother.
So she's like, I'm sick of my boyfriend being a mouthpiece.
Tom looks like an asshole every time you make some stupid decision
And I know what you're talking about behind closed doors before you go off to Katie and pretend you're so nice
And George is like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, Baba. And then the air turns really chill and moist and a busboy walks by with the carrot and gets some dripping ranch from the sky.
And we know that Katie has entered the scene.
To Keela, yes, it is to Keela, to Keela, too.
So to Keela, Keela.
Sorry, I just made her so much more interesting.
She does her classic.
You know when she's really mad, she does her super understated
entrance. She goes, classic. You know when she's really mad. She does her like super understated entrance. She goes
I
Just crawled out of a well
He's like well, but with the minute he sees her
He's like he invited him tonight. I asked to uninvite him take it down an off-sprow
I've been with you during the highs
During the lows like what are you even talking about right now?
So, Ariana's like, oh, hi, Katie.
Sorry, I went off a little bit.
Okay, sorry, I went off on you a little bit,
but I just keep hearing instances
where things come down on Tom,
where Tom has to un-and-write James now
and it all comes down on Tom.
And Katie's like, um, at what point
when you talked about this,
where you're like, um, James, who you know I am done with,
and I've given many allowances to,
and now Tom is like, his crowns are flying out of his mouth.
His garments pulled off all of his dental work, you know?
He's like, we're giving you a lot of allowances to Katie.
Uh.
He's like starting to get seen in nasal there.
Yeah, and then we get to see an amazing montage of Katy Bain Terrible,
which is like one of my favorite.
Pretty much anytime they do a montage on this show,
it's like the best thing ever.
It's like pure, like,
band-a-pump rules harrowing,
like going right into your arm,
like, oh, look at all these times,
Katy was awful over the years,
like so many times,
like going back like literally seven years.
And with Katy, you get the added bonus of seeing a bunch of terrible hairstyles in one montage.
She, you know, it's like a book of terrible hair.
Yeah.
It's like season to season.
You're a whore, Ronald McDonald hair, you know.
So he'd listen, he's like, she's done a lot of things.
She bullied Christian called Lala Hore, said her own husband's dick doesn't work,
and she gets James fired from a job,
and she's like, he got himself fired!
Ah!
Which again, she's in a silk bathrobe drunk, like.
Yeah, that's right.
And then Santa Claus was like,
well, he's still a little bit of a job
if you hadn't gone and said that, and I was like,
uh, I fear something.
Now, this is where I'm like having the moral quandricks,
I feel like that's like not like the point of everything
we've been going through as a society right now,
but the same, I'm like, I don't know what to do.
Listen, I don't know what to do, people.
Katie is not the reason we're going through this
in society.
Nobody is going through this,
so Katie has a shallow argument to win, okay?
And I'm sick of Katie using real shit in the world
when there's stupid arguments with an asshole DJ, you know?
Yeah.
Fuck off, dude.
Me too was not built for your fighting ranch.
So, Jesus.
So they're fighting Katie's like,
SantaVall, you sound dumb.
Like you're drunk.
And back in drunk and spiteful.
So like, you're an asshole.
I was like, yes, I've missed this.
God.
Seasons needed this. And then they just cut to Shina I was like, yes, I've missed this. God, the season has needed this.
And then they just cut to Shina, just like lingering in there.
Oh my God.
Shina, the whole time, is like.
And then they get her from a different shot.
She'd be like, hey.
She's like that video of a cat that keeps getting closer.
You know.
So then Tom says, that was down my throat.
Sorry.
So then Tom says, what is arguably his best line in the history of him being on the show
he goes, I can say whatever the fuck I want to anybody.
Call him a war, call him a piece of shit, see their dick don't work,
but if somebody calls me fat,
I'm getting the rest fucking fired.
Blue dude!
Daddy!
So, now this is the tricky part,
because you're reading for James, right?
Because we all want to be like
delusional ass-least of Vanderbump,
he's like, he's totally changed now.
He hasn't murdered a kitten in over a week, you know.
He played, he played Connect for now. He hasn't murdered a kitten in over a week. You know?
He played, he played Connect for Daven Busters without getting drunk.
He's changed.
He didn't try to snort the iPad this week.
The higher and back.
You know, that's not the iPad.
So we're like kind of still, because you know,
but your memory with these shows,
like they're also terrible.
So Katie comes up and she's like,
you know, I'm not feeling., oh, she starts a little thing.
And he's like, it was one second of your life, dude.
And she goes, what is your purpose right now?
This is the first time he said this shit.
And then we get a montage of James.
And it's like, yeah.
Oh, James is fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
So, fuck, fuck. Next year, fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. So, next year, fucking fuck, other, but he's going to get fired for it.
So now I'm like, well, that's pretty bad. That's a point too.
Yeah, but that's pretty bad.
So no, uh, Tom and Lisa are not he goes inside the tech.
He's like, why is everybody else get the title? Besides me, bro.
So he puts on his title, towel hat, you know, like his big rims, Stevie hat.
And he goes in there and he's like, so Lisa, uh, we were out with the triplets the other night, you know, like his big rims, Stevie Hat. And he goes in there and he's like, so Lisa, we were out with the triplets the other night,
you know, and they say, hey, hey, hey.
And James was, you know, DJing at this club,
she's like, ooh, how is this pretty cool James you're doing?
Oh, that's a thing, started fruttering again.
My little broken bed.
Oh.
Oh.
And we talked about a trip, so I was like, come along.
And she's like, you've always been in his corner.
And he's like, yeah, and the Medicaid you heard, listen,
this thing of her coming to their tattletail with you and like,
making you fire him, like, it's not okay with you,
that is not okay with you, that!
I was like, please cry.
That's my favorite time.
And he's like, no, you did you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,, Pandy, did you hear that, Pandy? I'm like anyone in this restaurant currently.
Service not really not known for their service,
everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So she's like,
Hey, Mr. Trouble, what James did was wrong.
On the other hand, the relationship between Tom and Tom,
he's better amount to the success of broken bird, broken bird.
McElaine has already made the signage.
And he's a maestro.
Myestro, Nika Lane, is so brilliant.
So she's basically like, listen, I've been going through this Manila folder for five days,
you deal with it.
Very busy.
Let me eat my girl cheese balls and cheese, please.
Go away from it.
So the next day that Tom's her are outside their Bordello lobby restaurant,
and they're talking, and number two is like,
what the frick happened, bro?
Katie does you like a brother.
When you take James aside, it hurts.
I'm not inviting him, and I'm not gonna go
because he's like, well,
really important to me, bro. So if it's not gonna work, then it's not gonna me, bro.
So if it's not going to work, then it's not going to work, bro.
Solidarity!
Yeah.
So basically, yeah, sand of all comes around.
He's like, OK, we're going to disinvite James, which is like, we get like, it's every,
I mean, how many things has James been disinvited to this season?
It's like every single week he gets disinvited.
So Lisa enters.
We also get a cameo from Hood,
who's Teddy Malon camps brother. Hi, I'm Teddy.
Oh, is that who I was wondering why they would call him out.
She's like, hello, hood.
I was like, what did she say?
Surely you and your family shall not betray me at any point because
I've given you this job as a bar back.
So that makes sense. Okay. So she's like, I can't have to frame me at any point because I've given you this job as a bar back. I'd... So, that makes sense. Okay, so she's like...
I can't eat because guess who else is here?
Chef Penny!
Chef Penny!
Chef Penny, create a sexy food like...
Tuna ta ta ta!
On a wanton!
Actually, the food at TomTom's really good.
That's shocking. So chef Penny, good job.
So she's like, can we have a spit bucket?
I can't swallow!
And like every member of this stuff, get it!
I'm not Lala.
So...
I mean, where was Lala on this episode?
Oh, maybe that was when she was like a film-pass.
She was a rant on this episode? Oh, maybe that was when she was like a film festival. She was a rand on the PJ.
Yeah, I got my slides back.
So anyway, so James enters.
And he's like, hello, Alisa.
I'm just a good little boy.
Hi, Alisa.
Guess what?
Billy asked me to DJ her launch.
I was wondering, could I do it?
Because I'm a good little boy.
I haven't got anyone fat in 24 hours.
Like a good little boy, Alisa. I haven't missed my boy, I haven't got any want fat in 24 hours. Like a little boy, Lisa.
I haven't missed my heart.
I haven't been naughty.
I haven't been naughty.
I want an air hockey lesson, Lisa.
She's like, are you under control?
James James Kennedy, D'Kennedy.
And he's like, yes, I've been doing anger management, Lisa.
And breathing exercises.
And then it cuts to him tapping.
He's like, he's like, well, they work for Jacks. That actually works, I feel great.
I felt so refreshed.
I'm like, yes, the rest of the show is great.
Yeah, I feel fantastic now.
Oh my God, I can take on anything, just kidding.
What am I doing in a podcast?
Fuck this!
I'm going to be a lawyer!
Yeah, it doesn't work.
I'm going to be a lawyer. Yeah, it doesn't work.
Uh, so James is like, no, I can work at, uh, she's like, no, no, no, no, she's like, you didn't come
for that, Dan. She's like, what about the Tom Tom boy? I won't be no, Lisa. I won't be no, I won't be
no, I won't be no, I won't be no, I won't be no, I won't be no, I won't be knowing. I won't be knowing. I won't be.
And so they're like, well, that's up to the girls,
how they feel.
He's like, that's up to the girls, girl.
Really?
Where's it?
It's not even their place.
They're all like, they're just stupid girls.
They're less of sex.
Like, okay, James, see now here you go.
Like, just we were rooting for you.
We were all rooting for you, James.
We were all rooting for you.
We were all rooting for you.
So, it's
time to say I'll take this one.
Yeah.
First of all, thanks for that
private table and bottle
service and that Flintstone
Hooker who made me
just trippling so happy
at your club the other day.
Great.
Well, that was great.
Oh my God.
We lied.
Guess who's here?
It's Jack Taylor.
Oh, Jack's a fuss.
We never thought this day would happen.
Oh, that's OK.
We're past your part.
Yeah.
Look, there's a gentleman, Jack Taylor.
Hey.
Hey.
I mean, he was just walking down the street. And these nice people said, hey, they're talking about your show there.
What? Let's go over and talk to them.
She's sleeping. She's sleeping off the alcohol she drank last night.
So, yeah, we'll be at Stubbs tonight.
So, how are we going to get us to come back?
Mixers at Stubbs. Yeah.
What are you guys talking about? We were talking about your show last night.
We were talking about your show last night.
We were talking about Tom Sanneval,
disinviting James to the big old trip and how.
He was the only one that wanted him to go.
I'll be honest with that.
Yeah.
What do you want to know?
Wait, what do we want to know?
I'll tell you.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
Because Sanneval has got a big heart. And he likes to involve do anything. I said, don't do anything. I said, don't do anything. I said, don't do anything. Because Santa Ball has got a big heart,
and he likes to involve everybody.
He doesn't like to get in trouble.
He likes to be safe.
He's sweetened.
He just likes to, you know, just like to get in trouble.
Me, I don't give a shit.
I'm gonna, I'll do whatever I want.
I don't care.
I don't like the kid and I don't want him around me.
But it seemed like some parts of the season,
like you were like, I hate this guy.
And then some parts of the season were like,
ah, you know, whatever.
Well, it takes a lot of effort to not like somebody.
It really does.
It's a lot of effort.
It's not really.
Not really.
Well, it just, he just,
it just drives me fucking crazy.
Like, he just drives me crazy.
But again, I was like that as a kid too.
I was like that at that age.
So I get it to an extent.
But I just don't know why he would want to hang around people
our age.
Like why would you want, we're almost 10 years apart.
And it's just like, what do you guys think?
I mean, we all, yes.
But we all like, we all hang out with young people.
They got STEM STEM.
We're all in relationships.
We all do kind of boring stuff now.
We're all in our mid to late 30s.
What does a 23 year old want to do with us?
That's what I don't understand.
Well, I mean, I don't know.
Well, I mean, you guys act like 23 year olds.
That's true.
It's not like you're having like classy dinner parties
and playing trivial pursuits.
That's not true, yeah.
That's well.
You guys are like, we're counting.
We just went to the scene where you were at home
getting bottle service, I mean, you think.
I really don't know, Raquel.
To be honest, I don't see James Raquel unless we're filming.
Really?
No.
It's the only two I don't see more, I don't really go to do this.
Who do you hang out with?
I hang out with all of them every single day, 3 or 6 days a year.
Is it weird considering the whole past that you guys have that you're like always hanging
out with like Stasi and Kristen?
It's where family, we don't look at it like that.
I dated Stasi 12 years ago.
It doesn't even, it just doesn't, I don't look into like that.
12 years ago?
Is it that long ago?
How long does it show?
10 years, 10 years, and three years.
10.
10.
Yeah.
But we're all family, we're all friends, we all get along.
It's just, we're just one big happy family.
Incessible.
It's just for James.
Yeah.
Except for James.
Are you, does it frustrate you? The fact that it seems like a lot of fans are on James's side?
Yes. Only because you all don't know the truth. And we're not allowed to talk about truth.
Okay. I know, but you guys keep saying that. Like, James has done something unbelievable.
Unbelievable. What do he do? I can't go there. Okay. Can I ask you a question?
I like that video. I like that video. That you posted that was a YouTube video of a dude doing Coke in the
back and like the DJ booth and stuff and you said it was James.
Did you know that that wasn't James?
I'm going to go see if you could say to me or what?
Did someone send you to the chat?
I just like to stir the pot, you know, I like to keep the girl.
I like to stir the pot.
Classic jacks.
I'm owning it.
Nobody's going to sit around and watch each other braid each other's hair, right?
No.
Oh shit. You want to watch that? You? Oh, yeah, nobody wants to watch that nobody wants to watch that
Do you guys think you got more shit goes on when we're not filming like right now?
There's a lot of crap going on. We're not filming right now
So the producers get really upset yeah because there's stuff going on and they're like what's going on?
What's going on? Oh, there's just a lot of people are breaking up. Oh?
Yeah, so oh my god. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah, Kristen and Carter.
Oh, wait, so what do you think about Carter?
I love him both.
I just think they're not right for each other.
Yeah, they're great people.
Both of them are good people.
They're just, Kristen's very independent.
She just needs to be on her own for a while.
She's very codependent.
Yeah.
So she needs to be on her own.
Carter needs to, he's a great guy.
He just needs to get a shit together.
Do you guys think you might fight more next season?
Because we really like it when you guys fight. I
Think there is a lot going on. I think it's a different kind of fighting. I think we're much more maturing a little bit
I think they argue well, I guess you don't have to you don't have to mature
No, I think our fights are are becoming a little bit more. I guess you can say adult type of fighting. Yeah, maybe maybe
I don't know she's fights. I love a good cheese fight.
That's not great.
Oh, wait, what's going on with the beer cheese?
What's going on with the beer cheese?
The cheese is coming.
We're getting married.
There's a lot going on.
So some kind of things had to take a little bit of a back burner.
We're here for our other company, Just Add X, which
is a drink company that I'm starting with, LandsBas.
And we'll be out here.
So we have a lot of projects.
Just some things take a little longer than others.
Food is a tough thing, especially in California. There's a lot of permits. And there's a lot of projects. Just some things take a little longer than others. Food is a tough thing, especially in California.
There's a lot of permits.
There's a lot of requirements.
Food's tough.
Is Lisa Vanderpump going to have your beer cheese?
No.
I don't want anything to do with any of your restaurants.
Oh.
That's a Tom Tom thing.
I'm not you.
You guys all turn.
I want everybody's making a little Vanderpump.
No, because I love Lisa don't get me wrong,
but I just want to do things on my own. I don't want to be do you see how the show this season? Do you
see how it's working out with Tom and Tom and Lisa? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want that
Ariana saying that that's just all editing to make them. Not all editing. No, that's
all I have conversations with Tom and Tom every day. I just I don't like the way she's
handling them. I just don't like it. Wow. That's my opinion. My opinion. I love Lisa. I
just think the way the situation is going is just not right. I just don't like it. That's my opinion my opinion. I love Lisa. I just think
The way the situation is going is just not right. I have a question. Why did you not want a model for the girl who wanted a Mahi
I was really
I don't Barton I'm not you know I didn't move to LA to be a bartender. Yes, it's my job
And I should do it correctly, but it's just like I don't want to model stuff. I don't feel like modeling. I'm 39. I don't feel like doing that. The
people are like, what do you want to drink? I'm like, just doing a shot. If somebody who
comes in at two o'clock at night on a Saturday night asking for a mojito, come on, man,
you can do a shot. It's two in the morning. You really want a mojito? How often, how many
nights a week do you work at Dupart and that's or is just like only when you're so I know longer there
I'm no longer there. We have we all have our own projects now
It worth some of us are there when we can yeah, but I just have too many projects and I love search my family. I'll be there
I'd live
100 yards away from the place so I'm always there. I'm always saying hi to people
But I just don't have the time anymore and yeah. No one moves to LA to be a bartender.
It's a stepping stone for something else.
And the hockey job, what happened with that?
Well, I'm getting married.
Other things came out.
More businesses came.
That was a, why are you making fun of that?
I'm not.
No, I'm wondering what happened to it.
I'm wondering, because it was like such a big thing.
Well, that's like, I was going to listen.
Oh, that's it, boy.
OK, listen. We all go through our ups and downs in life. And I was kind of hitting, that's a... That's a... Okay, listen.
We all go through our ups and downs in life,
and I was kind of hitting at just a down point.
I'm like, I'm done with LA.
I don't want to live here anymore.
It's not good for me clearly.
I'm just running myself into the ground,
and I thought maybe, you know, I had this opportunity.
I'm a big fan of hockey and a lot about it.
I know a lot of people in the industry,
and I got this job, but I had to move to Tampa,
which I didn't mind, because at the time, my father was alive alive so I wanted to be close to my father. He's no longer with
us so now I just didn't I didn't want to go near Tampa so that's where he was so I just
didn't want to be around it. And then other opportunities came you know just they really
pushed me to stay and yeah that's it. All right now we're here.
And now we're here. Thank you for coming.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rude to him.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I heard my name, so.
Well, thank you for coming up here.
No problem.
Thanks guys for watching the show.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, I was a fast learner.
I'm not an asshole.
I promise, I'm actually a really nice guy.
He's very good looking.
Make a lot of bad decisions.
But I will.
I'm going to check on her right now.
She had a fight with Whiskey last night.
I think Whiskey won.
So I'm going to go check on her right now.
Well, just tell her we said. I'm in Ga-yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay Thank you. You guys got jacks here.
You guys just got jacks.
You guys got jacks.
You guys, thank you so much for coming to this show tonight.
This was, today, this afternoon.
This was awesome.
Thank you, Edcast.
Thank you, Patreon.
Thank you, Gerald.
We love you.
We love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Good bye, Carl.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye! Good bye, Kyle!
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