Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Introducing Madison Marie Parks-Valletta; Special Guest Lara Marie Schoenhals

Episode Date: February 28, 2018

Jax almost drowns, and Scheana has baby plans. Just another day in Big Bear paradise on "Vanderpump Rules." Come join us as we recap it! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying, okay! Can't have a burger without Megan Burg, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

And Kristie D'Aurry, the OG Prem Supreme. Plus our super premium sponsors, Kelly Grant, The Grant Master! And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother of f- Watch what crap ends, watch what crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends What crap ends, what crap ends Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bantra Blender, and joining me as usual on

this wonderful day is my lovely and charming co-host, Mr. Ronny Karam from TrashTalkTV.com and the Rose Fricks Bachelor podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, hello, man. How are you doing today? So good. Good. Good. Um, good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Ronnie is good as gold today, and so am I, because we are joined by one of the preeminent

Vanderpump Rules, podcasters. Nay. I would even say preeminent podcasters in general. It's Lara Marie Schainhalls from the Sex of Unique podcast. What's up Lara? Hi guys, I am blessed to be here. No, no, no, you know Venson Crest, you know Venson C press because he said may I May, may I wanted to elevate the podcast for a for a moment before we just totally tear it down and just become awful You know So Lara tell everyone where they can find your podcast by the way before we get to to down this K hole You can find me wherever podcasts are available. it's sexy unique podcast and then on social media at sexy unique pod.

And I encourage you to check it out. Yeah, we encourage you to because you have a really hilarious Instagram and Twitter. I mean, you're really are doing social media right. I'm gonna throw all the things I like to say. Yeah, you are like the rob Valetta of covering social media. Social media is basically your boat. Yeah. It's my big bear cabin. Yeah. Did you have any good luck filling up your boat this morning? I know you had to get the gas for it. So I want to make sure that went well, went smoothly. Yeah. So I want to make sure that went well, went smoothly. Yeah.

What is Rob doing on that boat every five seconds? He's always on that boat tinkering around with something. It's like my papa. What are you even, do you know how to work a boat? What's happening? I fixed a bow. So before we get into that, of course, we need to show ourselves for one quick second, which

is if you go to watchacrapins.com, you can get tickets to our live shows. We're doing a whole bunch all year long. Our next two in March are in Houston and in Dallas and in Houston we're going to be talking about Real House House of Beverly Hills. The dinner party from hell is a classic episode. Alison Dubois, you don't want to miss that. We don't know what we're doing in Detroit yet, but we do know that people keep coming to our shows and these amazing homemade t-shirts or sometimes full costumes or wigs or whatever, and we are going to start up a little costume contest.

We're figuring out what the giveaway is, we're figuring out what the hashtag is, but start thinking about what you want to wear because we want to give out something special to whoever makes the most hilarious t-shirt or costume or whatever. I mean, it doesn't have to turn into let's make a deal, but you guys are doing such good stuff there that we want to give something back. So watch our crappins.com for that and you can also get merchandise there. I think that's all for the showing, Ronnie, right?

Did I get it all? Did I hit all the points? Works for me. Works for me. Did it work for Ronnie, right? Did I get it all? Did I hit all the points? Works for me. Works for me. Did it work for you, Lara? It's so worked for me. I just decided what my costume would be if I was to show up at a show. And it would be Kristen after she had her accident where she fell on an Uber.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's good. It would be not too far apart from Kristen at Stasi's murder Burnt party I think very similar very similar make a similar makeup story Yeah, hopefully we'll get some Kristen falling on that goddamn scooter. I cannot wait So I'm like actually looking forward to see Kristen like go through a play glass window on that scooter That's mean and terrible and I'm so sorry, but god she's evil. Well, she can have a matching scar with Katie and she'd like this is the remind me of something that happened in my life. Never forget. Never forget. Get it tattooed. She'll just I'm just

imagining her just riding her scooter through a play glass like Kyle by Ilean from from window and Beverly Hills. Yes. Kyle's like like, God, can I keep one store open, please? It's like Kim is probably already driven through that like last window like 20 times. So I guess before we dive into today's episode, which was hilarious, before the show opened, we were talking about how epic last night's episode was, but I feel like I'm saying that every single week. Like, oh my god, I'm so glad we're recapping that this week because this week's episode was epic and amazing, you know?

It's like every single episode. So Laura, where do you stand on this season of Vanderpump Rules? This season is like just Italian kiss, you know what I mean? It's like so beautiful and rich and they're really back in a real way. We had a couple of dip, I think season four or five or a little bit of a dip and then now they're just like on fire. But it's still kind of garlic breath. Yeah, oh, always garlic breath. Yeah, like garlic not. Like a garlic, like it's not even committing to a full piece of garlic bread. It's just like a not like leftover pizza dough that they rolled in garlic.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like your favorite shitty pizza place, but like when you're so hungover and it tastes so good. It was like $1. Yeah. It's like the other night I got Genghis Cohen. I went to Genghis Cohen and got orange chicken.

And I was like, oh, wait, this is surprisingly garlic. It's like that. Exactly. You're like, yum. Yeah. But then also you like wake up the next morning and your breath still smells even though your breath's your teeth and flossed

and use listering. But you're like, when is this experience gonna leave me? You know? You're kind of burping throughout the day, like remembering the meal. That's like the season. But people are like, delicious,

but I'm kind of embarrassed. Yeah. Every time you burp, you're like, oh, that was such a good meal, but everyone's like, who burped? Yeah. Why are you still talking about that show? Your friends are like, is that you?

I feel like, yeah. I watched Vanderbubberl's last night, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, everyone. I took one of those weird pills that would make it so that way you don't burp from down below, but like it's not helping. So, shall we just like dive into this recap? Should we just do this guys? We're gonna dive.

We're gonna dive. So don't try swimming to the buoy. Okay, the right thing. Maybe stay close to the boat. Yeah, we're gonna stay close to the boat. So the episode opens up back at the Lake House. At Rob's Lake House, up in Big Bear, everyone's in bed. And we sort of just like land.

We see the little snips of everyone. We sort of just like land on Sheena and Rob. And Sheena's just like, James was so freaking annoying last night. I mean, Rob's and he's like, is that the lot bitch screaming I heard? Yes, Rob, you're such a man. Okay, why don't you fix your ceiling fan before it falls on your head? That's the only thing I thought that ceiling fan was like,

like she, uh, the first thing you should be asking him to do was fix it. That's probably what they thought the noise was. By the way, Laura, what did you think about last week's episode with the whole thing with James and Lala? I think it's, well, their relationship makes me kind of sad because it's like clearly he's an abusive guy when he drinks and like she really does want him to be nicer to her and you just know

that he's not gonna be able to do it. And then I feel like they had like a friendship, like a public friendship breakup. Did they not? Yeah. Like on Instagram? Did they? Yeah, I try not to read too much really anything. That's being honest.

But yeah, I saw that scene. See? See? But that's something that was like, it's really hard not to have like my homie in, you know, whatever, anymore in my life, but like sometimes you've got to stand up to like the coppers, you know, get a cap of their ass, whatever. But I decoded that to me and we're not friends anymore.

Yeah, but then I think they got back together as friends like a couple days later. So it's really confusing. I don't know. I think there's just two young people in their 20s like binge drinking fireball. Things are gonna get ugly. Yeah.

God, I did not have Instagram and Twitter when I was that agent drunk. I mean, it's bad enough now being 42 and drunk, you know, stopping myself. But gosh, if I was 22 and I had Instagram, I mean, that's when I was closeted. So I'll be putting up like Dave Matthews memes You're like I'm breaking up with my homey. I'm like dancing. Ancise am I right? Yeah?

It's like when you wake up and you're like Lee Roy anyway, so I've been to 21 concerts. Yes So so anyway, so then we see you Dave Matthews been 21 times. Yes, I have. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, I was like, that's horrifying. I'm actually jealous. I'm a fellow Dave head. So really? I actually, I actually really do love Dave Matthews still, but I haven't seen them in 10 years. I did 21 years at 21 concerts and then I just sort of stopped. And I lately have been thinking that I want to go to one again, because I'm not going

to close that chapter in my life just yet. You know? No, they're playing at the Hollywood Bowl this summer. We should go see it together, Laura. You want to go? Yes. Can we do that? Can we do that?

Ronnie, do you want to come? No, but please please face behind me. I'll meet you for ice cream later, okay? I could feel proud of you to that, actually. Oh, I'll go to the gym during the day of Matthew's moment. Well, yeah. What are they talking about? Cringing, but I was listening to Liza Manelli at that time.

It's like, I don't really come from a place where I can't cringe I was about to brag that I've seen Amy Grant twice. So second Well, I would I would be Amy Grant even though we would she'll be at the bowl. Oh man So anyway, so then we go over to Ariana and Tom's room where they're cuddling, sort of like in the middle of these two twin beds. And Tom's like, dude, I'm in the crevasse. I just, like, just a lunker. Yeah, I just, I just imagine the look of Tara and his eyes as he's like, thinking between

two beds. And I like to swallow him. Yeah. It's like his own version of the descent. Yeah. Everyone just comes out all bloody. He's like, I don't know how to get out. It's like, Tom, you can crawl up from under the bed all. She seems to go, at one point, you were snoring and he goes, and Rob, I don't snore just to heavy sleeper and she's like,

Rob's just Rob's snore is so wild. Like, normally I can't sleep to people snoring but like Rob's one Rob's Thor is I'm like, okay I'll sleep now. Her face just like, like, I start to like hop up to make cause I said you snore. I know. She was, there was pure panic in her eyes. She was just like, wow, that's the only fans working really well Rob. She's looking so smug and like her bra too. Yeah. She's looking so smug and like her bra too. Yeah, that was definitely like some obvious.

Like, I'm going to sit above the, I'm going to sit above like the comforter and like have my full body out, you know? Yeah, I'm wearing a sports bra because I'm winning things like points. I really feel like I've won the gold, good ass gold. Like Kristen Wiggins rides maids when she gets up and does her makeup really fast and then gets back into bed and looks like casual, I was like, Sheena, you are not fully

me. Yeah, well she had a full face of foundation on. I was like, you can see it. I think Sheena goes to bed in one of those American girl suitcases where We're like, This is a man the one that's stand up when. Yes, one of the stand up suitcases that you can see through the little window. And you're like, maybe when I open this suitcase, it's going to come to life. But then they don't. I, I, now this is where you really have lost me because I have,

I stay away from American girl place as much as you stay away from Dave Matthews. I don't know what this American girl suitcase looks like. Well, I have nieces, they're terrifying. Oh my God, I love it. I love it. Oh, they're the best. American girl dolls are a passion of mine as well. So Ronnie, you and I can go to American girl place.

I'd love to go there for afternoon tea. Oh my God, that's really gonna help my rep. You go to salon. Yeah, they give you a doll. You can choose your own doll that you want to have like tea with. I'm like, is that real? I've been. I have to take my niece. She got one, she gets one every year. She still obsessed. And one time she got the one with crutches, glasses, like a wheelchair. I was like, what, why are you aspiring to be the biggest basket case ever? What is wrong with this company?

She's gonna recreate Delores Claiborne with her American girl, doll. I would actually be really for, like, I would go to American Girlplace if we could each get a doll and recreate certain scenes from band of pump rules, like quite a tea, you know? 100%. No, all the American Girl dolls are too fat to be on this show. recreate certain scenes from Vanderpump rules like quite at T, you know, 100% No, all the American girl dolls are too fat to be on this show. They're also too well adjusted. Yeah. Yeah.

So they do have traumatic backstory. So I think that that would be like the similar tie between them and the cast of Vanderpump rules. Do they actually have aspirations of start them? Because that could also help. Some of them do, yes. They each have like big fat old cross-eyed boyfriends that like lay on top of them at night. I wouldn't see a Jack's American Girl doll, but it's like three times bigger than all the standard American Girl doll sizes. I'm just gonna have a nose.

Yeah, it's just like the My Buddy from like my buddy and me. Yeah, you press a button and it like glides out of a cut and it's forehead. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to discuss the Jack's montage because I'm very excited about that. So we then go to the kitchen and by the way, do you like how we do this? We cut down every single shot of this show. We're like not going to get you.

I do pretty much the same thing. Like I have a running list of notes of everything. So and this is like the best day of my life because I'm recording my podcast in a few hours. So I get to just talk about the interpumpules all day long. Yeah, exactly. So the dream. So then we then go to the kitchen where Lala Lala is there. I think I forget like maybe James or whatever. I have a question. Was Lala wearing a sweatshirt where she'd cut out like a trapezoid to show her cleave? They're all wearing this top now. Is this a thing? They've all started to wear it. Yeah,

Kendall Jenner stepped out with a shirt again. It's all comes back to her because she stepped out a few months back with like a shirt where it was cut out like a triangle like that. And I saw it and I was just like, what the fuck? And I knew in my head I was like, what's only a matter of time before this becomes a look and sure enough, here we are. Because it's also like, they think that what makes it unique, because we've seen cut out sort of like,

collars on sweat shirts before and like modifications. But here it was like that, that sort of like collar piece continues along. It like, it doesn't, that stays like a necklace sort of thing. Right. And I think it's strange. I think it's just getting this generation used to having like different parts of their body cut open, you know, for surgeries and stuff. They're like, okay. Easy open heart surgery access.

Yeah. Although I mean, I think at the same time, while as I'm saying this, I'm realizing, you know what, I feel like women are entitled to have this triangle cut out moment because they've had to deal with men cutting off their sleeves and sometimes even like the full sides of their shirt to show off like a lot of time suboptimal arms inside things. So I feel like this might be women's revenge. So maybe I support it. We've earned this right. Yeah. That's why you guys marched for decades. We fought long and hard for the right to cut a triangle under our collar. Under the hood. No fucking reason. Why suffrage. Am I right? It also by the way

totally destroys the whole reason why you'd have a sweatshirt, right? Like it's your mom becausey. Yeah, you're cold now. There's a breeze. You have to be a dick-y-on. Yeah. It's like those cuss that are popular that have all those holes at them, you know. They, like little tiny holes.

They look like screen doors. Do you know what I mean? Like, why are you wearing that? Are you trying not to let flies into your jacket? It's winter. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen that either. Would this be it sounds like a beekeeper? It's a hazmat outfit basically. Well, you guys shocker. I want the forefront of fashion. Do you guys hold caps? I'm seeing.

So anyway, so, um, Jack's is waking up, Brittany and he wants to go for a run. And in the kitchen, Lala is talking to James walks in and she, Lala's like, Kennedy, huh? You remember anything from our talk last night and he's like, yeah, I remember everything good. And Lala's like, are you going to be a kind person today? He goes, yeah, sure. Okay. Sure, I'm like, shut the fuck up. Can I ask you guys a question? Yeah. Jack's went run, a Jack's wants to go running.

I'm so sure, okay, everybody knows Jack's this not wanna go running. When she says later, he has dragged him, I'm rr! I was like, oh, that's so stupid, she, that's, that then I was like, no, it's not really, because Jack suddenly is like, look at me, I'm running. I'm swimming, I'm doing push sets.

I'm just like, Rob, no you're not, Jacks. Okay, just because you float doesn't make you someone with a belt. Okay, well he's been, well, the jury's still out on whether or not he floats. And the other thing is that, as evidenced by like five minutes later on the show, but also he's been on like a big fitness

thing on his Instagram for the past few months. He keeps saying pictures that like sweat, what's it called like sweat factory? Sweckerosh? Well remember he had that workout app. It was like workout with Jax. I was like his season one business thing don't you remember? I'm just kidding. I'm trying to say it's by chunky sweaters. I wonder if anyone's cut a triangle out of his chunky sweaters. I think we're cardigan so I feel like they were not not prime. Yeah they're pre-triangle. They're pre-triangle. Yeah. Well they could have had like little sub triangles on each side of the cardie, you know. They could have done mesh cutouts though. There's an opportunity for the mesh cutout running. Every time I've done gender girls. But anyway, I was like, you know, when James Kennedy was like, when she was when she said, you know, are you being nice? He's like, uh, sure. You know, I was like, you know, he was so obnoxious

the night before and the fact that he wasn't at all like, yeah, oh, I'm sorry. I was like, really out of my mind. Whatever he wasn't even even gonna try he was just being a dick about it I don't know I feel like I feel like old James Kennedy has resurfaced and it's not good. Yeah he's such a dick like he does not take responsibility for anything and it's kind of entertaining because you'll see him like talk about himself in the third person and I really enjoy that kind of behavior But at the same time he's like talk that yeah, and he's always been like that I love that everything. I'd love to eat say old James Kennedy. He's never changed the only difference is he states sober during two interview Seignants this season and everyone's like oh my god. He's come so far That's true. It's like when I lose five pounds and people are like,

oh my God, you look amazing. Are you okay? What did you do? Like it's five pounds calmed down. I'm about to gain 20, everybody just calmed down. Yeah, people really gave up with James and the like drinking thing. Yeah, they just don't.

They were like, just do it, I guess. Like, well otherwise, he's trying to force feed ice cream down your throat every goddamn day. Look now it's ice cream. I'm like ice cream. It's in alcohol. It's like James, I'm not going with you to ice cream again. Okay. I do this at home alone in front of the television. This is not meant to be done in public. Start drinking again. To be fair, I still feel like he's never reached that low that he hit. Was it last season when he was like, splaid out on like five people's laps, chucking fireball, just like having fireball poured into his mouth? I think that's a low. I mean, it's usually bad when

anyone's doing that with any sort of alcohol, but when it's fireball, it's like, that is a low. I don't think he's gone to that point yet But yeah, again, so he might be on the upswing. Yeah, I love this is an improvement for him like he might be doing a lot better. Yeah, he's drinking in a more refined way, you know, like just regular shots or like having a point of mouth while he's standing up. Yeah. Yeah. I yeah, it's like they should separate drug and alcohol addiction because there is a huge difference. Don't quit everything. Just keep drinking.

You don't have to quit everything or you turn into a crazy person. And James is a perfect example of that. When he's just drunk, we're like, he's doing so great. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. So, the previous night, James Lala and Raquel took a shower together, do you think, where do you guys land on this behavior between the three of them?

I mean, it seems a little, I don't know. I feel like I'm surprised Raquel has been so passive, not passive, but like, okay with all this, right? She's passive. Raquel is heavily medicated, I think. She's not with us. Like Kell is heavily medicated, I think. Like, she's not with us. Like, her body is physically with us, but her mind is elsewhere.

Yeah, I feel like she's going to be some kind of bot. It's going to be some trick at the end, where Vanderpumps, we got our first transgender hostess and our first bot. Her name is Rick K Ham, Shaka Twist. I feel like she is from a totally different TV show. Like, she is in one of those scenes in Mad Men when they go to Los Angeles,

and there's one of those crazy parties where people are on drugs, and there's like some girl on a bed being like, you wanna try some reefer? And then you never see her again, but somehow she like stumbled out of that scene and wound up on Vanderpump rules. And like, doesn't know where she is, doesn't know what decade it is, but she's just trying

to play along and figure things out. I feel like you could put, you could open her up and put frozen French fries in there, and she could cook them. Okay, good trick. I feel like she's a Westworld robot. Like this could all just be Rekel's like show at the end where she just like brutally murders everyone and it turns into her world.

Like season seven of Vanderbump rules is just like Rekel. That's what I want to believe that. But I unfortunately feel like she's more of a small wonder robot. You know, like she just, not as good as Vicki and but they just were like, ah, someone take her, you know. Kim has been played by Anthony Hopkins this whole time. Lala is also a robot.

You find out in the in a twist in that. But they programmed her wrong with the language. That's what she's always like street yo homie. Wrong chip change her chip. Lala is actually two-pock. It comes out like what she's always like street yo homie. Like wrong chip, change her chip. Change her chip. Well, it's actually two-pock. It comes out like what she's been saying is true. And then it's two-pock Ann Raquel taking over.

Which I think is really wonderful because now we know that two-pock is a new wave feminist. So who thought, you know? So, Sandevol, we're literally in like the first 30 seconds of this show. We are like, we're in a problem. We're in trouble. So 10 out of our podcasts. I know.

So they're talking about like who's gonna make breakfast? They want Sandeval to make it because he makes the best breakfast and they cut to him and he's like already thinking about breakfast and he's already stressing out. He's like, dude, there's like 10 people, but only a dozen eggs. I'm like, I like a cup of water on a burning fire dude! Of course he's the best at breakfast. You want to see who's the best at breakfast bro? I got a little hash man dude dude! So they're trying to figure out who to wake up for breakfast and he's freaking out about

the eggs. She was like, I don't want to wake everybody up now because Rob is refreshing the Rob Bar. And I want breakfast to be like Rob sort of fresh like fresh Rob. So he signed up. Rob has some gas in the bowl. So I want to have breakfast fresh room because if it's not fresh, it's going to remind him that like a really stupid sale.

I mean, I didn't say that Can we make pancakes a spell out I love you Can you spell a rob and waffle Can you even make breakfast though they made all this fuss and then we never got to see what he made I think we saw a little bit of it look like there was some eggs Yeah, some poor eggs into something But then I was waiting for like the magical breakfast Well didn't see James like flopping around a big raw like 12 pack of bacon with his hands

At that point breakfast was canceled. They just all went to Marie calendars He's like open up our side. I'm the person making really she and a Marie calendar. I Name her third baby is she to Marie calendar. So that way we always know what day should we fall in love And so stupid She know She We So I should mention that

That Ronnie Ronnie has a horrific cough right now, so if he drops out his pressing is needed button Yeah, I have to keep pressing my mute, but because I'm laughing so hard and coughing Oh my goodness. My cough is this is how my cough stand because I've just been recording while I'm sick anyway. And so now this is how my cough sounds. It's not even, it's not even a human voice noise. It's like somewhat beating on a wall.

So anyway, so the making breakfast, which we don't get to see and Jackson is now- Jackson is getting frustrated that he has to hear about Rob every five minutes, you know, so I do think that he's getting a little threatened only because you know, Jackson is the alpha of the group, self-declared alpha of the group, so now that Rob's there, you know, I think Jackson's Jackson threatened, that's why he wants to go for his run in the high-off. I love that- I love that Jackson gets so frustrated about hearing about Rob that he decides he's gonna try and that's why he wants to go for his run in the high-off. I love that I love that Jack's get so frustrated about hearing about Rob But he decides he's gonna try and kill himself No believe though. It's a noble yeah, no more death like a semi it was like the most half-ass attempt at suicide

I'm by my we're not talking about the swimming we're talking about him just doing basic exercise. Yeah. Yeah, we're still at the run. Yeah. He's like, fine. If I'm not the elf, I'm just going to run off. Like animals do. I also love that Jackson's like, he's like, God's like, he's Jesus Christ. Risen again. Like only Jackson would be mad that Jesus Christ is written again. Like, Jack should be so jealous. It's like the Holy Day comes and Jack says, God damn that guy. Okay. He gets everything. So the next scene is my favorite kind of Lisa.

Every time they show Lisa madder from, she has to be plugging her restaurant or like commenting on her fabulous decor. And so now they're hanging up these big terrible goddess familyers. And she's like, hi, I'm like, wait for me. I live through beta. Beautiful out there. It's a great natural day. Natural day to pop in with cameras, Lisa. She's like, please be careful. It's giving me indigestion. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's probably the Chellian Sea Bass on your menu. Yeah. For anything on the menu.

Yeah. Let's be honest. And it's like, man, you've just got to go back to Tom Tom. And Stasi shows up. And I'm like, you just know that Stasi sees this Shanellie bring hoist it and she's like fully ready to recreate a phantom scene

She's like are we doing is this happening is this happening because I'm ready. I'm ready What's what's our fan teen or something like that? No That's from lame is No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and it gets to spend the rest of the time backstage. Do you think that there's a phantom that lives underneath, sir? His name is Ken. He's just left to go to Tom Tom. Oh, so the shendilyo, I make sure it doesn't fall. Yeah, I think if they, if there were a phantom that lived, that means, sir, that's like a terrible phantom place to be.

Like, if you could be a phantom. That's what happens when Tom Sandeball falls through the crevasse. Yes, she falls in the back of the twin beds. He falls into the void underneath, sir. He emerges with like, it's like half of like a moisturizing mask across his face. He's like, any of you think could grow better through this undergrad layer? So anyway, so, Stasi basically invites Lisa to go on to her podcast and she's basically

like, you can maybe teach my listeners how to get a man in three months or something like that. So, you know, Lisa of course does that whole thing. You know, you know, that Lisa, she loves being asked for these things because as much as she's saying, I'm Beverly, on Beverly Hills recently that she like doesn't need attention or whatever, she needs the attention. And she's like, she's like, I guess I could carve out two hours tomorrow. A busy, busy schedule, so many shendolias darling, so many. I could have had the time to talk about me. Mm-hmm. As long as that Shandlea has moved up,

one inch, one inch, perfect. Stasi. I love that she's just so out, she's just so out of control, bitchy, on the show Vanderpump. I wish she was more like this on Beverly Hills, where people are like, hey, Lisa, and she's like,

ugh, what do you want, Stasi? Yeah, I wish we would do that to people. I wish we would do that to like, to read, and et cetera. So, so basically, Lisa agrees to go on the podcast and we go back up to the cabin where we're seeing, you know, James is that paddle boarding? Is that when you stand up on a board? And you're, is that paddle boarding?

Yeah. Yeah. Rob's on the boat. And Jack's, Jack's comes down onto the pier where he's just done a little bit of his run and he's like, I almost died. He's like, I just ran for like 20 feet and I almost died. So that's too bad. But he starts doing this whole fitness thing, right?

And he starts doing all these sit ups and he starts doing plank. He does a plank. Yeah, he starts doing this whole fitness thing, right? And he starts doing all these sit ups and he starts like doing plank. Yeah, he starts doing your plank. Jigs is like. His head looks like it's going to explode. Yeah. It's like I was afraid that there might be like a burpee situation coming up and I was like, just pure can't handle it.

He's like, God, this elevation, right? I'm like, you mean behind us? What are you talking about? Your veins are propping out of your head, okay? Do this off camera. I don't like to see people kill themselves on camera. It's disgusting. Do people at home?

Do people really get... Like faces of death. Yes. Yes. A lady asking me out of the way knew her car taking a video of a bear. Look, it's a bear. And he eats her face off.

I remember that VHS. I was scared to see it. I was scared to see it. Yeah, I was scared too. Yeah, I was like, that's not a day of Matthews instead. But do you, is there really, I've been to Big Bear like two or three times. I don't ever seem to remember being affected by altitude sickness. And I'm a hypochondriac. Is Big Bear high enough to get altitude

sickness? It's higher. The Big Bear coca-cate is probably better. Let's call it spade of spade. If you spent a night binge drinking and eating pasta and then attempt to go on a run, and eating pasta and then attempt to go on a run. Like he is doing like a triathlon, basically. Yeah, I think it might be a little munch. And he is sitting there and James is like on his paddle board. We're like, you look fabulous, Jaxi-Bor, killing the game. Killing the game.

I'm like, he looks like he is literally about to fall into three pieces. So this is when Jackson's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to swim to that movie and back. Rob goes, don't rush it, you'll just die. And he's like, no, no, I will. I'll be fine. You're like, you're going to die. He's like, nope, it's going to be great. I can do it. At which point, you know, we knew that Jackson's in trouble because he starts swimming and then a pirate ship goes by and I was like Now, why is there a pirate ship in big bear lake? This makes no sense

This is definitely either an omen or like a vision the Jackson seeing before he crosses over It's the ghosts coming to take him home. Yeah, that's what I thought it was like the pirate ship of law souls arrived Big bear The first pirate ship to be scared of something else. Like, oh my god, it's that guy. He's gonna come take all of our sunglasses. It's the Kraken. It's gonna take all of our sunglasses. It's like a pirate that's covering its eyes

and it's like, I don't have sunglasses, Mark. Very concerned. They just went to sunglasses. They're like, come on, Argg. We just, we came up here just to get the sunglasses. They just they just went to song. Like they like come on, arg. We just we came up here just to relax. This is where we are.

They just attack the sunglasses. How shit? God. Jack. It's like the worst pirates. They're like, well, we didn't quite cut it in the Caribbean. So we just had to come to Big Bear and just terrorize a few Airbnb's. So this watching Jack's swim to the buoy was one of the funniest fucking things I've ever

been on TV. Lala's watching kind of from the kitchen while she's eating her James finger printed bacon and she's like, Jack's swimming, yo, like not even the middle of a water. He's gone maybe two feet and he's like, maybe I'll try and just like float on my back. He tries a backstroke situation. He was like, he didn't even bother committing to a butterfly. Then they kept showing the lifeguard who basically has a jack's bod and he's looking out there like, or a Christ sake man. Who is that lifeguard who basically has a jacks bod and he's looking out there like our Christ sake man Who is that lifeguard? Yeah, and like what is he guarding? I assume I assume he was there with production

I'm assuming that they probably have to have a lifeguard if they're gonna film on the water. Oh, yeah Sit him up in his little chair and they're like stay here. Yeah, it is called big bear I was just thinking they'd have like, Big Bear, kind of guys just sitting around everywhere. And he happened to have a shirt that said lifeguard, you know? Yeah, it's an off-season ski instructor probably. It's just someone's dad. He's like, oh geez, why did I wear the stupid shirt?

He also said, when Jackson's like, you can come help me, he's like, Zach, I joking, or like, there's no sense of emergency or anything. Like, that guy knows, he's like Zach and Jokin, or like, no, there's no sense of emergency or anything. Like that guy knows it's like three feet deep, and this is, you know, or... Yeah. And I like, I like Jack's, his like,

increasing urgency, he's like, come help me if you want. Come, you can help me if you want. You can, come help me, come help me. He just like started like, get himself into this like, frenzy, like, again, he was like, I could not have been that deep. No, and also he looked like he could still kind of like move his arms you know what I mean?

He like he didn't seem like he was actually drowning. No, no, but that's facts you know. I'm no drowning expert but it's like he was being, he was being weighed down at that moment in the water by a lifetime of bad decisions because all of a sudden, you know, faced with the specter of death on a pirate ship He suddenly having flashbacks of like all the people he would never see again And this is where the editors they just- This was like their moment. They were- they were- they've been waiting for this for a few seasons now They bust out- of all first, they bust out Carmen.

They show Carmen. They go with Carmen first and she's like, I don't wanna see you again. And then they go to Laura Lee and she's like, you are an asshole and then it's not, I'm like, you're an asshole. And he starts thinking about all the dumb shit that he did. And there's this montage of him,

I'm doing all sorts of crazy stuff. He just beat up, someone has blood coming of crazy stuff like he's just like beat up Someone has blood coming down his face. He's got an evil grin, you know But I went through this because it was like so fast. I went through frame by frame Did you guys go through frame by frame by any chance? Oh my god I'm not gonna break down every frame But like when you watch it in real time it looks like like a quick like flash of all these images you can't take them in so it just seems like Well, when you go frame by frame, they actually tell a story. They show like

Hot Jax it shows like season one hot jacks. He's slim. He's like shirtless. He's got abs He's smiling. There's like exciting things happening and then suddenly they switch over to like fat jacks We've got fillers in his face and he's like sweating and sloppy and like he's just like hunched over and just looks terrible And it was just like this amazing amazing drag by the editors of how far Jackson's fallen over the years It was amazing. It was definitely like a playing cards, it's like shuffling playing cards of faces. I think it's so true.

All his faces. It was like all his oral face, all of his horrible face morphs into like two seconds of time. Yeah. He's got on it. And Anna Moore. You did. Yeah, it was like that part in the Black or white video when they all go from face to face

Except except crease summers wasn't in it He's like one of those stuff commercials who are all the women are marching with bloodwigs and they're like we're all the same And we're like no, you're not But it's all jacks. It's just all different jacks faces It's also he probably never used to so it was just like Any moment in Terminator 2 when like the T. I. T. I. T. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Is is like a Baywatch Baywatch moment B.A.E.E. You get it? Um, then everyone in the kitchen, she was like, or I think Lala was the first one to be like,

L.A.L. Jacks had to get rescued homies and everyone was like, And she goes don't laugh someone almost died Which was pretty funny I mean when she's shading you know, yeah She made a good law there We just come to the recording. So, Jack's come to me because hey, I almost died. And then she may go, yeah, the lifeguard had to save him. Jack's good. God, it didn't take hard to heart or anything. John, because you mean about to mouth, bro.

I like the idea that Jack could have been saved with the lifeguard just gave him a hard to heart discussion. Like, hey man. What's going on? What the 80s, gave him a heart to heart discussion. Like, hey man. What's going on? What's going on? What baby's taking so hard to heart? Or just some kashi heart to heart, which he has I did by a box of yesterday.

Just giving him a go lean bar. He's like, you need this man. He's like, he's like, Lala, I was just saved by a Luna bar. Oh my God. He was like, Lala, I was just saved by a Luna bar. Oh my God. So, um, so, so now, so no one's like paying attention. He's like, I just almost died. So she never brings breakfast to Rob and she's wearing a swimsuit that says salty vibes, which I don't really have a comment on that.

I just felt like it needed to be highlighted. I actually, I think I blocked that out because I truly don't remember seeing that. And I think it was like too much for my brain. So I just disassociated from that. I was actually blinded by Rekel's entire swimsuit journey. That's all I could say. I'm not sure if I see, I think I was blinded by the salty vibes because I don't remember Rekel's swimsuit journey.

She had like a, it was like a tied up tied up blast on the sides, tied up, tied up in the front. It was like it was a whole moment. It couldn't take my eyes off of it. And then I got no salty vibes. I just imagine she knows downward spiral. She's like, I wore this too because I thought it'd be really special. But then Rob told me that this like was fresh water and I'm wearing a salty vibes. I think and I wonder if it's like going to work and I think I might be really mad at it like What's Rob gonna think a few things that I think is what our has has all done it Rob So Jackson's just almost died. I mean yeah, Jackson

And so he's in the living room with everybody and he's like god, I'm really sick of hearing about Rob Rob makes the best day Rob blocks the best eggs. Rob blocks the best. Rob makes the best eyes. Like Rob, nnnn, Rob, Rob, Rob's like still stirring eggs. Why for 13 hours that they had webinars? He's making eggs on the phone. Dude, I'm making eggs on the phone says.

He's like, you jail, bro. You jail. I'm talking to him. They couldn't be more different, okay? Robb, Rob started the production company has a house in Big Bear and then you look at Jacks He's got a felony from robbing a sunglasses hat, so There he goes actually my favorite is that that Tom refers to Jacks He goes he's a botanist sir a known thief And relationship is in families. I just like that. He's a known thief.

A known thief. By the way, I'm sorry. Yeah, you said, no, it's just going to say it's right after the night that Tom's like, they'll feel bad about yourself, bro. Like you're doing great. Like everything happened.

Then the very next day he's like, he's a fat rhinoceros. He's never going to do anything with himself. He's those sunglasses and he smells like butt crack. Right. I didn't even think about that. So I don't know, Ronnie, if we've discussed this or not, but um, but Rob, I guess his sister is Amber Valetta. Did you know that? Laura? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Did we discuss this? I think maybe we did discuss it. I don't know. We talked about Amber Valetta recently, but that may have just been purely coincidental Amber Valetta She was in revenge. She was like the one that the dad was having the affair with that

Madeline stow hated and then she was also in what lies beneath Oh, yeah, she's terrible right? She's in hitch, but she's also like a crazily famous 90s supermodel. Yeah, I love Evervilletta. I'm like, I'm very excited about this connection. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I feel like I should say mean things just because that's my instinct. I don't know her, but I love revenge. So, you know, good for her. I'm good for her for loading her brother money because come on, a house and big bear. I'm not buying it, sir. Yeah. Well, I'm really not buying it. His production company.

What is his production company? Do we know what this is? No one knows. No. Charity, it's a charity production company. I'm like, that is the production company that's making this show. So, I know you don't know that. Could you be more specific, sir? We'll have to do a deep dive.

Hello! This is Lisa Van der Pum. We are taking a commercial break now. But if you don't hear one, don't worry. You're very lucky. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Um, anyway, we go back to Sir and we have a chandelier update, which is Lisa being like, is that on a dima? Oh, that chandelier is having on it! The dima, I never thought a light could be brighter than dark but dimmer than light.

We're phantom of the opera. Yeah, I like the surface. Alright, buzz on down to the river underneath the restaurant, kid. We're done with you. So my favorite Billy White eyes is there. At the host's stand stand and Katie comes in and she's like, oh hi Katie There's tons of silverware by the way, I was gonna help you but there's literally so much Thanks a lot. Yeah, thanks. You just see Katie with like a towering pile of silverware. That's like brushing against the chandelier as she walks by

Katie with like a towering pile of silverware that's like brushing against the chandelier as she walks by Katie That's the guy making stuff a drum drum I'm gonna take Tom Tom to Vegas. What do you think Katie's like? I never knew Swart so we turned into a business man He wanted to be an actor, but maybe businessman is the role he was born to play. Nice work, Blake Eddie. Now, I have concerns about the chandeliers. If I feel like Tom Tom should not have any sort of lighting fixtures that are like

share an origin story with the sir lighting fixtures, am I wrong in feeling that way? I want the Tom Tom decor to be like kind of masculine and comfortable. I stand with Sande of all on his like design instincts. Yeah. And so I'm worried that Tom Tom is going to be like disco-y. Yeah. I think it's going to look like Max's apartment. I really feel like that. It's gonna be zebra print and like purple velvet and it is gonna be disco club 54 studio 54 sort of thing. It's like that bone clothes, that auto-main. It's gonna be like playboy can pre-least that is like the aesthetic. Yeah. Oh my god. Such a good

call. That's a really good call. Yeah, that's exactly what it's going to be like It's going to be like roughly like they're gonna. We have like roughly shirts that they're going to wear you know Like weird 80s art on the wall like that Memphis style art from the 80s, you know You know, yeah Or maybe like Billy's apartment because it sounds like a good set for Billy. Wait, you're describing Billy's like Billy's like Just standing around and Katie's like look that's Billy. I learned a lot about Billy because she was on Statsys podcast

I'm gonna post like how was it? Oh, yeah, I need to do that. I'm losing give me all the coffee guys Katie goes. I learned that she went to Thailand. Tentet. You know, it's like, come on. Let Billy just have her own scene, Katie. Shut up. Yeah.

We see a clip of Billy on Stasi's podcast going, I learned you could have Beverly Hills for a boob job and Thailand for the China. Which is the best advice I've really heard on this show. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that doesn't count. Yeah, yeah, I mean Now does it go to can you go to tie town does that count?

Because we have a tie town here in LA that slot cheaper airfare There's vagina's hanging up next to the DAX Well doctor for Chinese, but whatever So Vanderpump's like how do you choose a vagina? And she's like, well, it's all about the surgery. And like, if his vagina's look really good, and Vanderpump goes, as opposed to what, Billy-Lee-Lee? Well, they're like the gynos that literally don't look like pretty vaginas. Vanderpump goes, but how do you choose it?

Isn't there just one optimum for China? It's like, you know, it's like, yeah, it's like the point of a big tent event, you know, you just go and you browse, you're gonna get to you. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. I need a catalog of the ginors to see if I need a new one. And it's like, I love my vagina. My orgasms are amazing. It's like, I love my vagina. Man, we're gassums are amazing.

She's like, I don't need to know about your orgasms, or little billy-lily. Now what do you think about dimmas? Right. Isn't this heaven on Earth, wait. Let's twist it a little bit. Oh, it's getting darker. It's getting darker.

Now it's getting lighter. Now darker. The lighter sun rise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. All with the dimma. That's called transitional lighting. My orgasms are amazing when I see my dimma heaven on earth. Oh, oh, oh. Um, actually, now I'm, I'm not very well educated or like the actual anatomical aspects of transitioning.

I didn't know that you could have like, work-asms if you are like, um, like if you were male to female with like a trans vagina. I don't even know if I'm saying the right terminology without being offensive. I didn't know that. Did you guys know that? Um, I think I was starting to know that because I saw a documentary. I have a friend named Carly who has a documentary series on Vice Called Flutever and she was talking to trans couples about how they have orgasms and stuff and so that was educating me. But yeah, I too have learned a lot from Billy Lee. Yeah, I think they've come a long way with that. You know, it's like every

surgery. Like when you see people in LA who got surgery face surgery, when it first started happening, they look like Adrian Maloo. But then when you see people now, they look like, I don't know, at least a Vanderpump who's gets better, you know, yeah. Oh my God, that was like one of those videos. It gets better guys. Yeah. It's not bullying. It's, you know, the genus.

The surgery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So it doesn't feel weird though, that like, now I'm just thinking of this like right now, but that they're talking about the genus and orgasms while Ariana, meanwhile has been suffering from non-multiple orgasms and-

Didn't Ariana's storyline come to a close last week when she realized she could fuck Tom if he's dressed in like a crazy outfit with like horns and mirror-but-man-thing contacts instead on a twin bed. Yeah, I think that that story. I think she's like that's her own certain fetish. She's like I need a man dress like a clown. I need ice blue contacts An empty stair provided by contacts who's sleeping duties evil, which is horns, you know That yeah, whatever fletch your boat girl you go. I'm behind. I think I think Ariana gets an orgasm for each mattress

That their sex is taking place on so when they have two twin beds Push together. It's like there you go two orgasms now behind everyone's vagina on this show the first one to get a dimmer Wins my heart for everything. There is there is some artistic poetry in it though Yes, though the the the woman who has had a constructed vagina or a vagina transplant I don't know really how it works But the woman who has it was not born with a vagina transplant, I don't know really how it works, but the woman who has, it was not born with a vagina, is having more orgasms in the woman who did, who was born with an orgasm. See, there's layers to this show. I don't know how I got to sit up, Tom just stood up at the trumpet.

Right, Bell. Oh my goodness. So now back to Big Bear, where I know who's also having an orgasm. No one because we're watching Requel and James making out on the side of the building. And it's actually kind of surprising. I think the first time we've ever seen them kiss in real life. I know. I didn't know you were supposed to kiss fleshlides.

Dangerous. I didn't know you were supposed to kiss fleshlides. Very curious. So Rob, Rob's trying to figure out how many people can fit on a boat for two being. And I mean, she was like, I'm a cow captain. So I'm on our Mac, Lee this. And I'm thinking the idea of she not being the cocaptain of anything is terrifying. She should not be control of any sort of vessel. And that is not vessel. Yeah. I don't want her co-captaining about a plane, a train, a gravy train, like anything. A matchbox car, a bicycle.

I don't want to see her co-captain just walking down the street with somebody. If she goes to France, I don't even want to see her buy one of those charming fountains with little boats that go like she can't even touch those. And like, can she not even drive? I don't have faith in like her basic abilities. I would love to see her play like a side bike or something. Just to understand the basic concepts of like navigation. Well, we saw her drive up to last year and her little Nissan two door.

And I remember thinking, God damn, she knows probably the person who's like, Oh, I'm and then you have to like open the door, crawl behind the fucking seat. She knows so that friend. She's so the person who's like driving up like a like a now street where then like She like like a bush the branches of like a bush or a tree like grazing against the car and then she's like Oh my god, they totally have to like groom their brushes and it's like no, you're driving on the like all the shoulder right now She you know, you know she's that sort of driver Like it's like a highway driving you're out. It's like it to zoos a sheenie.

Get on the proper side of the road, please. They really need to pay for his roads. She know you're driving on the shoulder where the grooves are. Why are you trying to make you out? You drove into a swimming pool, Sina. Okay. So yeah, she's like, I'm Carl Captain. And meanwhile, inside, uh, speaking of co-comptoning relationship, Thomas inside like, yeah, so the

endocrine sending us to Vegas from like Tom Tom Sandelier, which are going to be amazing and like easily white downable. But like, you know, it's the sixth or the seventh. And she's like, great. So you're going on your birthday. And she's like, errrrradeez her own theme for getting fucked over on Vegas trips. Why doesn't she just do a Vegas trip? That way she can get ahead of it. She can get ahead of the story, you know?

The whole Vegas storyline was really confusing. I was like, is this really like a storyline? You guys are going to bank on and force us to like go on this journey with you for this episode. It was truly, it was like, I'm in a good abay. a big and she's like ugh and then they had another conversation about it and then they resolved it's like okay cool anyway. They cut to Vanderpump and she's like we're going to Vegas. And then Ki almost standing by the fridge in the back like they're going to Vegas. I. It's made of the greatest cabbage.

I love that they're trying to weave it together like it's a long drama on Netflix. Why do they go all the way to Vegas anyway? This guy's making chandeliers. He wants their business. He should come to them. Unless they're, I guess maybe they're going to tour a chandelier warehouse of some sort. It's glue gunned crystals. It's going to be the same thing she buys for every single restaurant I have she's ever it's going to be giant pots that you can't get past branches hitting you in the face and some glued crystals just some metal. I mean that's it. And some of those like

sort of like eastern like East, like Asian sculptures that you see at that place on the braya that you drive by and you think, who ever buys stuff from there? And it's like Lisa Vanderpom, and she puts in the back of all her restaurants. She's like single-handedly keeping that place in business. Yeah.

It's a gigantic rocked iron peacock by a 20 years and some days. Oh. I am peacock. Buy it, where did you sit some days? Yes. So, yeah, so, yeah. So Ariana's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

about here. And outside James is just wandering around with a butterfly mat. What? Let's fly coachella. So Lala is walking around topless and she's like, I don't see Katie so I'm assuming no one's gonna get pissed that they're men saw my nappos. I'm

gonna take my tits out because that's what normal people do. I'm like, no, they don't and thank God. Okay. Yeah. You know, no one wants to go to Disney World and see everybody with their tits out. Okay. Not everybody has a body like you Lala. Yeah. Exactly. If I did, I have my tits out as well. Did you guys catch Jack's dose, totally leering at her? Oh, when he was like,

remember when he goes, Thammer or when they came back, then Brittany. Yeah, later on when she was like, I put my top back on, he's like, Bummer. Brittany's like, you have not met that. Yeah.

No, at this point, Lala was walking over to their tits out and they cut to Jack's and he's like, you have not. Yeah. No, at this point, Lala was walking over their tits out and they cut to jacks and he's just like staring and smiling. So scary. Yeah, he's scary. And he's like, you have not even that right, Jack. Like, how do you earn the right to like stare at Lala's tits? But he has a really odd life for me. a lot of us to it. Brittany has a really odd life-borne of you. She had some way of saying it, though. She was like, you haven't been cleared to say that. Like, what are you doing? Like, we are still reviewing your papers. Yeah, he has not reached the clearance level of being able to be vocally bummed about not seeing what else he's had. Yeah. He actually gives him

like a medal once he's reached that clearance level. Yeah. There's a there's a committee. It's like her, her mom and like a cactus. A cactus. What do you think cactus? Cactus. Clots day. So they're going to jump on rocks and at Jackson's like, where do we jump? I don't know. I already cheated life once. Like you cheated everything. Just be quiet, jump. Just jump.

Jack's okay. So then it's like a montage of water sports and stuff. Yeah. And Ariana's like, but do you see them like tubing and stuff? And Ariana's tubing with like Sheena and I figure who else? Who is it? Lala.

Yeah. And she's like, I'm gonna go, there's something about being pulled behind a boat with two of your best friend, girlfriends. That's like the most fun. I'm like, well, only if it's voluntary. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, it's terrifying. Yeah. There's something about being drowned and dragged that your corpse can drag through the water with your two best friends.

It's like just amazing. So there'd be about being thrashed around the waves while a pirate ship is nearby. That's just like so exhilarating. Like it would have been one thing if I was just getting murdered on my by myself, but I'm with my two friends. So I know it's like Arianna's making the killing a fun show. It's like nothing like turning up dead in the lake with your good friends. Wait a minute. And then you hear Tom, he was so excited. Look, bouncing around. Jack's like, I can't believe Rob is walking a water.

So she was like, Rob does it all. I feel like I'm dating a real man. I'll talk about for him to have a vacation home. Red man. I mean, it's funny how she doesn't realize how, like, what role she plays and making these guys go nuts. The amount of pressure. She's like, it's great.

Here's like $350,000 a year. He's strong, he's sensitive. He buys me this, he buys me a piano, he buys me clothes every day. It's like $350,000 a year. He's strong, he's sensitive. He buys me this, he buys me a piano, he buys me clothes every day. It's like a real man. It's like the pressure of having to live up to being a real man for Shina is probably just makes everyone crack, you know?

I don't know if she did Mary say. That's true. She did. So Jackson Tom or on there, yeah, they're like wakeboarding or something or or they're on the tube and Jack's basically loses his bathing suit and he's like wearing pink box of reefs. I was surprised. I mean I don't personally wear anything under my bathing suit. Like, isn't that the point? I'm a bathing suit. Yeah, I thought that,

I thought that I think there's some different approaches. Like you can wear like shapewear under the bathing suit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't think we have that. I don't think we have the yet Laura. You're mad at me wearing shapewear under my bathing suit. Good. It's like dick shapewear though. Yeah. Okay. That I'm down for. That's what I mean. Yeah. That's what I mean. Although I guess I mean, Tom, I mean, Tom had a method to his madness. He's like, I'm wearing a pink box of brief, but it's a pink box of brief swim trunk because I like to get the pop of color underneath the board short.

I never knew that was a thing. That's where sand about style gets like next level because I never have ever noticed a pop of color under anyone's board short. It would argue that your board shorts are maybe too thin if you're getting a pop of color. Oh, that makes them our little sand of, uh, well also the board shorts are, I guess it's supposed to be supposed to ride up a little bit above the board short maybe. Oh, okay, yeah,

a little little sound there, you know. So speaking of never changing your underwear, let's go talk to Tom number two over at, I don't know, Burbank or wherever they are. He's with Stasi and Katie, and they're preparing for this podcast with Lisa, and she's like, I literally don't wanna A.F. cry in front of Lisa A.F. Like, I can't wait to ask her things like,

what do you do on your day off? What? I'm like, please ask her her favorite color. Please! No! No! Tom's like, oh, does she, does she have every taco bell? And so I was like, does she even know Taco Bell is AF?

And you know that Lisa somewhere is like, of course I know what it is. It's a bell! It needs to be two inches higher, Mr. Taco. It's a bell. It's a bell that you ring when you want tacos. Rocio, ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. Bring me one of your people sandwiches. Rocio, could you please bring us some Ticos?

Ticosies. I want a Ticosie. Zzzzzz, I wanna cheat cozy. So they're preparing basically for whatever. And Katie's like, like, I really never thought Tom number two would be a business man. Like shut up, Katie, just be quiet. Also, Katie's gonna do. He's also not proven to be a businessman yet. Okay, all he's done is paid $25,000

and didn't give in a pile of rubble to get through at some point in life. And it's so close, just FYI, after anybody wondering. Yeah, it's not even close. I think the rubble is still in there. You can see it. They're gonna make it part of the decor. Yeah, actually that would be fitting decor because it's like a big pile of the decor. Yeah, actually that would be fitting decor like a big pile of rubble. Yeah, you get tetanus

All drink special a TV pump a pump TV Pump TV James is like more pop TV please. Oh my god. So um, Stasi starts crying about Patrick and telling them she's like, well, he's like still disappointed about my birthday. And she's doing that thing where she's doodling, but it's on an iPad pro. I just, I can't feel bad for somebody when they're doodling on an iPad pro. It just hasn't been out long enough for me to be okay with it. All I can think of that pencil was $85, young lady. I know I was really impressed by all her tech in this episode.

Yeah, I was jealous. You guys just assume me it's not like an edge edges sketch that's been like mass to look like a She's like I can't lift up my pen for shit right now, but You know what's funny is this so Ronnie hour on Taylor Strucker's radio show last week and Taylor was awesome and great and so Taylor and Her co-host our friends with Patrick and they were like yeah Well Patrick didn't want to go on Vanderpumper rules our friends with Patrick and they were like, yeah, well Patrick didn't want to go on Vanderpump rules because he knew he would just get torn apart

and sure enough he comes on the show and then they make him look like a dick. It's like, it's his worst nightmare is happening. And like I get that, I understand. Like I would never want to go on Vanderpump rules as like a cast member, but I also feel like at the end of the day, if he weren't acting so terribly,

like we wouldn't be coming down on him. We would probably be coming down on Stasi. Be like, Stasi, we have like a good guy. What the fuck is wrong with you, you know? Yeah, if he didn't act like a dick, he wouldn't look like a dick. Yeah, and I also don't buy, I also don't buy the whole, oh, I don't want to be on Vanderpump rules.

I guess you do. You just, you just go, who has a podcast, if it goes and just starts dating Stasi because they don't want to be on TV? That doesn't make any sense. Okay. And we have a man bun. So shut up. Yeah. Man buns really keep point there. So Katie's like, well, you know, there's other fish in the sea and Stasi's like, yeah, but who likes psycho girls? Like, have you seen this show? Have you been around your

neighborhood? Welcome to Los Angeles. They all just kind of stared into silence though after she got that. There was a sobering moment for all. I like let's hear the ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Shock forward for a little while and just think on this. Let's just quietly keep combing our dogs hair and pretending This is a better activity than being in Big Bear right now. Sassy goes back to like doodling on her iPad. Shorts just stares at his like Dell computer, which really shocked me because I was like,

he doesn't have a Mac back. I think probably he really read the, the, I think the dude you got to Dell really resonated with him. It's sort of like his life mantra. Dude, oh man, the dude you got a Dell really resonated with him it's sort of like his life mantra dude oh man dude you got a Dell oh I want one bubba maybe he is a businessman cuz he had a piece me yeah you're right that's a business man move business just not all my business all my business apps haven't really transferred over to the Mac yet so That's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business.

It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business.

It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business.

It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not business. It's not Oh my god, okay, so now back to I feel like this is longer than roots. It is okay, so we go back to the board. Really? So we go back to the boat or Big Bear whatever and James is telling us when Lolo found a boyfriend I was jealous of course because she was a

craving a bitch in L.P. every other week and I had to find someone and I see and Raquel is the most beautiful boss I've ever seen in life and like you are so fucking offensive and then he can't even pretend he's being serious he's like looking off of the background he makes it sound like he went to Northson Rack and founders. Like, oh, I guess I'll take that once. Good for us. Knock down. I like it. At the Empire Center. Yeah. Yeah. Tell though I felt so bad. She's like the scene of her cow just like staring off. Like

she's like on the dock, like looking at James and blah, blah ball I'm trying to process and then she just turns around and walks away. Yeah, and she was like, for a moment I was like it's like Ophelia and then I was like no let's not bring that. Let's not let's not elevate her there. Yeah. She's just standing there walking off but like I mean standing there watching them and she's just totally still and then you just see a fly go on her face. And it's like, I'm so glad I watched only one episode of Westworld.

Because now I get all the references about having the investments of watching the whole series. Well, that was half Westworld and half just being a bug's apper outside. Yeah. And half like that one weird scene in the ring where the fly comes out of the TV.

We're kind of like a multipurpose robot. I mean, she's like fly's after fry cooker. Flashlight. She's an all-in-one real free fry cooker. She's useful. Yeah, she's like everything my mom buys from the I seen on TV rack. I feel like a nonstick. I feel like in her spare time, she's like the robot aliens

and batteries not included. She's like quietly fixing refrigerators. Rosarkel. She's like a Rumba. That's what we call Ken because he's always just buzzing around is like he just turns, he bumped into a wall and then just turns around. Of course it was about a tiny little bit of a tiny little bit of a dot. Boom. Hello, welcome to pump. I think she's sort of like those robot dogs you see every now and then it's like look Honda made a robotic talk in Japan and you just see it and you're like, oh, that's

cool. Although unsettling and I don't know if I need it. I don't want to do this anymore. You know what? No one needs. How is this cast letting Rob be alone on a boat with Tom and Jacks? Are people fucking crazy? Is she just like, okay, burn it down.

Michael. Have you decided to ruin your life? What made you decide this was acceptable, ma'am? Because you know what's about to happen. Yeah, he's about to jerk off. Oh, no. I just just want to get out like a circle jerk. And then it could not be a circle jerk.

A circle jerk, is that where you're going towards? I'm like, yeah. OK, so about circle jerk or a circle. So Jackson's like, so how much you come out here on the boat yourself? And Rob's like, well, you know, depends on how much time I have, you know, I come out here, I put in like, surround sound. I put in new TV, it's like a toaster,

like a window unit for air conditioning. It's really taught me that I was not a handyman. So yeah, you know, like basically, since I bought this house, I think I like triple the value. Did you just put a quarter into Rikal to give you an estimate? Where are you coming up with that number? Give me a break. Well, then what I like is that Rob adopted Shina Math

because he's like, yeah, Shina and I have basically been dating for 10 years. I mean, except the six years that she was married to someone else, you know, so we didn't really hang out. But I have 10 years. Because she was married for for 10 years. I mean, you know, except the six years that she was married to someone else You know, so we didn't really hang out but I have 10 years because she was married for a few years So we didn't hang much then Do we think they had an extra marital affair or that she did quietly with Rob because this is twice now This is this sort of like weird math. I don't think anyone normally talks like this, right when there's like When the majority of the years that you've been

together, have you been married to someone else? Yeah, that was weird to see him adopt that the Sheenameth as well. Yeah. Because I thought for sure this was only like her psychosis, like a play, but then he did it and I was like, whoa, he's perpetuating this. So I don't know if they were like in touch and texting. Yeah, it seems like she's just a cheater, basically at this point,

because every time they do this weird math, she's fucked somebody else. Like she fucks Carl from Summer House and then they're trying to do the math on that and they're like, Did I just break up with Rob? I don't know, okay, I train was going 15 miles down a speedway of cars and then I played went overhead minus six years

I'm like, you know, wait a minute. Why is the show about waiters the most confusing mouse show on TV? Well, you're just gonna slide trying to settle up a bill It's not easy so So Rob's talking about how he's yeah, it's almost marriage the princess of Brunei like her her dad with the prince of Brunei But like he just didn't work out. And Jack's, to Jack's his credit, he can be really funny sometimes.

He's like, Princess from Brunei with endless amount of wealth, or Shina from Azusa, who works as Sir. Hmm. Which one are you gonna pick? Although, isn't Brunei royalty, aren't they bad people? They're super problematic. Yeah, like

Brunei is like hate gay people, right? Yeah, that's why there was like every appointment on like the Beverly Hills hotel or something. Yeah Yeah, they're like look we let a woman drive a car and everyone's like oh my god What's ever praying It's like I was dating the princess of Brunei and tell she got scone to death, you know. To be fair, they're probably based all of these problematic beliefs on watching Grand of Pomp Rules. They're like, hey, our daughter's boyfriend is like friends with someone on this TV show.

Let's check out this TV show. Oh, is this what people in America are like? We hate this. I love the work're excusing an entire culture because of antipropore. And there's like really not a getting large gay presence on antiproporeals, but I just feel like that's how they interpret it. Like this is gay people, right? Sometimes I say, this is gay, right?

It's West-Hop, I see gay pride parade. This. Yeah, right? Okay, our country doesn't stand for this This is what gay culture is Wait a second. I just want to check so gay so to be gay is to be on the Vanibrom rules gay pride episodes Okay, yeah, but no, we don't stand for it Okay, yeah, for now we don't stand for it. Yeah. And I'm in y'all. Wow. Okay.

So Tom's like, so, wow, bro, did he love her? And it's like, whoa, that word is so, I mean, Rob's like, that word is so like, well, I mean, whoa, you know, look, also I want to make sure that she's in a place that like, she's good, you know, like if she's going to clean one of those TVs, I installed. If she's going to clean it with, like, water in an napkin, or is she going to try and use Windex? Because that's when I kill a bitch.

I mean, what's the point about, what's the point of hanging your TV in seven minutes of a takes or eight minutes to clean it? Now I'm saying, Rob goes, I do lovers a person. I do have love feelings, but that word is something you don't throw around. I was like, hmm, unless, unless you're like in a committed relationship that like you, where you love each other. You know, and it goes, it's like really easy for me to like hurt people's feelings. What does that mean?

What does that mean? That's like why those bullshit lines that people say on like Nicholas Sparks movies, you know, to be like, oh, I'm wounded. Don't get close to me. I can hurt your feelings. Well, what does that mean? It's an excuse to cheat on you and abuse you and then say I told you Yeah, I think Rob's kind of a fuck away. Yeah, especially through that conversation. Yeah, it's good Okay, and I'm seeing a lot of it on TV on Vanderpromp Rules. I've watched the Bachelor, which is horrifying. Are there men who just aren't abusive assholes? Are there, if somebody finds one, no, no, no, please just text me.

Yeah, a TVD on there. But that being said, I still stand by Rob Overshay. I still think she's an upgraded for sure. Because as long as she's getting someone who's like, I'm not sure about this one, at least she's getting, I mean, she's right. She's getting like a lake house out of it. So hey, kind of. It's getting, I mean, she's right. She's getting like a lake house out of it. So hey.

Kind of. It's not, this is why I hate air being beast. You have to clean. It's fuck you. I'm good at what hotel. I'm not gonna clean my fucking vacation spot every time. How about this, how about this Rob? Okay, you own this lake house.

Have that instead of having your guests do all this cleaning. I'll just get a cleaning lady for the day. If you are wealthy enough to have your own lakehouse, you can get on task, grab and have someone just clean it. What the fuck? Also, let your guests enjoy themselves. She knows who loves a clean after an event, so she probably would like, she is probably

like, no, Rob, like, little clean, like everyone will clean. It'll be fun. Yeah, you know, you are so right. She probably loves it. She probably loves it. Alright, everybody, team, clean. Yeah. She's probably lost a couple of balls. She's like, all right, everybody, team claim. She's a bit of a party with Seenu. And it's probably like a testament to her love to him.

Like, why should he have to pay? I put a cleanup after my friend's mass. Like, no, it's, we'll do it together. It'll be fun. Yeah. Sheena feels like it bonds everyone and like brings them together. Well, yeah, I mean, that's working in a restaurant, you know. All right, that's all clean up the cab. And meanwhile, that's working in a restaurant, you know, all right. That's all clean up like I have our and meanwhile

It's only max doing anything So then so then we see Tom and Arias so after this whole boat scene where we're like hmm about Rob There was this weird moment that really felt like I had to point out we see Tom and Arianna and they're like They walk down from like the lake house and they like they walk down to like basically house and they're like, they walk down to like, base of the pier and when they get to the pier, the music goes, so what's it gonna be with you and me? And then they start talking and I was like, what was that?

It was like the shortest music cue of all time. They're doing that a lot on this show. It's like they got the Summer House band, you know? It's like they just sit them. It's like the old days when they had an orchestra sitting in front of the movie theater, you know, just recording along to the actual movie playing. All the music is so on the nose, especially like the further Vanderpump rules goes like season after season, the more on the nose the music becomes. It's a big bear, it's a big big bear, it's a big big bear,

and we're sleeping there. I think that royalty-free musicians are just catching on. They're like, wait, they'll buy our music. If we just think about very specific situations that these kids might get into, it's like, on a boat in the water is someone drowning. It's just jacks. That's got facts. Did you catch the end of all? Did you catch the end of all looking at the sunset and going it's beautiful.

No, but I wish I had. Ariana's like, the sun's just peaking over the clouds and seeing what was beautiful. So then they're like, look at us. It's sunset on a dog. It's a sunset on a dog. So it sucks you're going to be in Vegas on your birthday. Yeah, but at least it gave me this feel about how things got to get that old chap. And there's no more play tickets and Southwest Airlines stop selling. And now when his name rhymes with fairy pun I can come on the trip Yeah, at least said we're gonna go to Ariana. I mean Benny Hanna. Whoops. Sorry about that rhymes

So he goes just like I just started fucking you again So he's like he's like well, you know, I don't to assume that I can invite you because of the business trip. But when we get back, I want to do something. You know what they every want. She's like, well, I thought you said you want to do something with me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's like, yes, I just think, come on, here we go. No, no, you mean both of us will be everyone, but like you mean, you should have been the center of everyone, dude, no, no, no. He's like having a panic attack, remembering falling through the crevice in the beds. He falls, it's like, it's like

in get out, like going into the sun, place. That's like him falling in between the twin beds. He's fully in the underworld still. He cannot claw his way out. The underbed. Yeah, the sunken bed. The music of the night. I like this. We're bringing it all together. Bring it all.

So Arianna has a really good point. She's like, I get going on a business trip with that. Me that's fine. But you're taking jacks. Like you are never gonna ever see my vagina again if this happens. So next we get the location. This sort of sounds like like, oh, I'm going to Vegas. I got to take some jacks. Make sure to take your jacks with you. Take some permission. Yeah. Except it's really controversial, like the latest flu injection or whatever. Every once in a while, it's like, wait a minute.

Is jacks actually killing people or helping people? You might want to get in Guillaume Beres and Jerome if you'd. Yeah. Jenny McCarthy has taken a stand. Anti-Jacks are. She's an anti-Jacks. But she actually might be right on this case. Yeah.

You finally get her come up and... So next is if anybody's too excited, this will calm me down. Bubby! Bubby! You want to go on scooters? And they're like taking their scooters to El Coyote, Katie and Tom too. And he's like, let's all come up here, Bubby. Look at us, his date night, his population. Bobby, you want to go on scooters and they're like taking their scooters to El Coyote, Katie and Tom too. And he's like, let's all come up here, Bobby.

Look at us. His date night is delicious. It's a date night with the puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, Mexican food with some running guacamole. Yeah. For her anniversary, okay. And they get jalapeno poppers and ranch, of course. And then she goes, you know, the more we're married and like interact with each other, he's like, yeah, you're being reasonable.

God, I love a good reasonable, bubby. Look at Maryachie, Ben and she goes, oh my God, you hired them for me. I'm like, Katie. I'm officially feeling bad. I'm officially feeling bad for Katie at this point. Like her, she's just given up on life. Yeah. And he's just a cry. Yeah, he's crying. He's weeping. Yeah. It's the saddest shit I've ever seen in my life. And all I could think this whole time was, you know, he's totally fucking around on you, right? He's like, I got a Maryachie band for you and jalapeno poppers. Okay, I'm just going to take a selfie of us on else. Snapchat or read Oh, got a text. Yes, my dick will just like, okay, he's cheating on you, Katie run.

It's a bad sign when you're when your husband calls you the old Bubba Rouski. That romantic. It's like a turn from home improvement. Yeah. I'm also fairly convinced he was crying from the jalapeno poppers, not from the sentimental experience of the mariachi band. Like you're too spicy. Too spicy.

Well the song they were like, I love macaroni. Oh my god, you guys pick a new song. That sounded not unlike high holiday services at my synagogue right there. Yeah. Almost like a Russian on a chand' right there. There you go, and that's Katie's marriage, basically. So we go back to Big Bear and a pressing question is Lala in the mile high club, she's like,

I'm commercial? No, PJ, yeah buddy. We used to go through a seven-megacondom, I'm like, okay, commercial. No PJ. Yeah, buddy. We used to go through a seven Mac condoms. I'm like, okay. Oh Seven pack I don't even have this. I love it. I guess the one with the bonus the bonus Three one thrown in for good measure. Yeah, it's a Costco, you know It's like when you it's like when you get like a thing of like jelly and say 25% more. It's like when you get like a thing of like jelly and it's like 25% more.

It's like a little extra taller jar or something. That's what she got. It's a promotion. She got a promotional pack. So she is with Raquel, I guess, somewhere in the kitchen or something. And James just passes by and he goes, no, no, no, no, no, it's the best form of the planet.

And then he leaves again. Raquel's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Long lives the best form the planet and then music and chaos She's still trying to figure out what PJ means. Yeah, and also by the way I do not condone that PJ. I don't condone that I don't She's like that where did the barricade peanut jelly? You're at how do you get in this Sky Mile Club with pajamas? How do you get to be a mile up high? Is that what happens when you have 100,000 miles on United? No. Is it a mountain?

These are the existential questions that play Grickell, that high altitudes. So she sits down with Lala and speaks so many lines. I'm like, she's shorting out. Somebody's telling her so many words come out of her mouth. I was like, who are you? She's like, I never suburb between you guys is like different. It's not like you're coming onto him. It's like, he're coming on to him. It's like he's coming

onto you. Like you're like finding on a whole other level than everybody else. And I don't see him doing that with another girl. She's like a TV where you just need to pop it on the head a little bit together to work. She's like, Daisy, Daisy, I'm sorry, Dave. You know, a little 2001 space host reference. Okay, I guess didn't play. Okay, sorry.

I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was,

I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, Honestly though like I'm just imagining for Kel was how for Cal James I'm sorry. I can't let's okay. You can do that James. Okay. You can do that She's let's James shut her down that a problem. Okay Mala goes she's a sweet girl, but it takes a tough bitch to deal with James She's like here's the download on the street. If James was acting a certain way, and with me, that with disrespect, my man, in any way, I wouldn't let it happen.

It's like, really, you just all took a shower together on TV. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna let Jay on a PJ baby. This PJ band. Laura, I'm so sorry for over talking you. Welcome to crap. Yeah, welcome to it. I'm sorry, because I feel like I'm just laughing and laughing and laughing and not saying a whole lot. We're just like, well, some kind of podcast. Yeah,

many love podcasts. Let's like not let me talk. I was trying to come out to PJ Harvey joke, but I just couldn't quite get there. Down ball the river, whatever that song was. You know what I'm talking about. So, Rick out, this is how the scene ends. Okay, so now a Stasi and Lisa. She's like, oh, hello, Stasi, you're in a distinct advantage. Because I've had two gnazes of what? I did my walls at home.

Let me put it on the alley. Well, also noticed this was one of the rare nighttime shoots at Villa Rosa. We never see Villa Rosa at night unless there's like a suarie happening. Did you guys notice that? Did you guys get a sci-caron? Yeah care I hardly recognized it because it was like kind of Disorienting yeah, yeah, and she had that low. I think it was a different room or something that she just lets you know Like I don't know K to where's use or something because she had that low that low chair that was covered in fake lamb Windfender public that down on it.

She's like, whoa, it's almost all the way to ground. I don't even know. I've never been in this room, actually. Lisa van der Parme, after dark, get hit, Stasi. You're going to get a naughty side of me today. Let's talk about celebrity crushes. George Clooney, I'm so naughty. You know, he's not only hot. He's philanthropic and Stas is like, he cheats.

Well, I have a feeling you've dated some dirty rotten scoundrels, Stas is like, God, what am I, a skake? It's just silence. Uh, Stasi is like philanthropic. Does that mean he like finds dinosaurs? No, that's paleontologists. So, at least it's like, The first night I met him, Ken, he said, I'm not going to give you my number because I think I'll fall in love with you. And Stasi of course is just like, you know, she's like in full awe mode.

Do we think the connection is on that? No, I think Ken was like some drunk on the floor. I think it was like Frazier in Camille where he was like drunk on the floor of some bar like bleeding out the eyes and she's like, listen to me, drunk man. We're going to make something out of you. Now sign these papers. And then, you know, she took his liver while he was in a bath tub of cold water, you know, just to hold against him later. And the end, you know, it's like the romantic, the romantic love story we all dream of. Yeah, also like they didn't have cell phones back then when they met. So it's like, they're

giving each other like the number of their rotary home phones. Yeah. If you don't give someone your number, like you truly don't get to call them, like that. Yeah. That's it. But I guess I'm not giving you my mother's home address where you could possibly stop by and knock with some cookies,

some lovely cookies or balloons or such. I couldn't help but fall in love with him, but maybe it was the lighting. It wasn't quite dark, it wasn't quite bright. It was almost as if the lighting had been put on a Dima. It took my breath away. I'm sorry, the snort. The stossie's like, I just realized Lisa Fander pump is a boss ass bitch. Really? You just realized she's like I just realized Lisa found our pump is a boss ass bitch Really you just really she's like if I wasn't focused on my relationship issues

I could focus on world domination scribble scribble scribble scribble scribble scribble I want to see the pictures she was scribbling because I have a feeling it's just like a big black page It was probably Christine being like killed by Jason Voorhees. She writes in like such big letters on that iPad. It's not like I didn't notice that. She's like scrolling big like because I think she's writing notes. And it's just I noticed how big the font was that she was writing in big st Stasi font. It's like when you're like, it's like, because you know, sometimes you like choose a font on your computer, like, oh, this will be fun. It's a fun novelty font.

You type and the words are so big. You know, like, why? And it's like, this is like wing things. Yeah, that's what Stasi's font would be like. It would be excessively large. Like, oh, no matter what you type, yeah, winged thing. And no matter what you type, yeah, winged in no matter what you type, it just says a app a app a app a app a app a different giant winged being letter exactly and then you try to like type in and some sort of like exclamation point and just makes one of those square those square boxes and you're like, you don't have that in your font sets really. So Vanderprim's like, I'm actually impressed with Stasi Shruda who have given a full sweet seventh eighth 20th jumps to a Stasi. And Stasi is like okay now would you rather swim in poop or dead bodies?

She's like never mind. I'm like this is the best sitcom I've ever seen. I love the show. At least it shows poop by the way for those of you guys wondering she shows poop. Yeah. I was actually wondering them. I was like, what would I choose? It's a terrible choice.

It's truly a terrible choice. I'm not really sure what I would go for. You lose either way. Yeah, either way is a loser. So let's see, where are we next? Okay, so now we're back at the cabin in Sheena and her big stupid blue glasses which crack me up every time I see them. It's like,

I got everybody, we have a last thing to do, we should start knocking it out, because like, like, like Rob Campier, the whole time we run slats, so like, we are in here. And she looks at us like, I dare you to argue with me, audience. And Airbnb house, have romantic.

I was just really hoping for a, like, a second round of this moment from last week. So we are going to play some games. Game! See? Game! Go!

Go! Go! Go! It's a big, trapper keeper binder, like laminated, full of pages and pages of shit to do. Which is, I would just leave. Well, Airbnb is. You imagine Shina waking you up in the morning when you're kind of hungover, barking at you

to clean the Airbnb. Yeah, I would not like that. I would not like that. When you turn a hat turn, when you turn the hot tub to 100 degrees Celsius, or whatever, that would be terrible. He's like, hey, Lola, warm the hot tub. And she's like, that's a summer's house.

We have to be respectful. And he's like, okay, list, list, list, clean floor, don't put bonfax on. So, hobos, hobos can't use robes to accuse. Go, come on Lola. He goes, yeah, he goes, he's like, oh, so the hobos in bed and she's cleaning, which is so true. Fuck that guy. So Tom and Ariana have an end to their, their awkward for the day. And he's like, Hey, he's like, Hey, do you see me up there? And she's like, yes, little girl in the well.

I see you. But the product provost. You're gonna call some. He's reaching. Really helped me. The hell. He's got like four fingers on the bed and like Ariana's quietly plucking each finger off. No, no way to do that. It's like, or maybe it just plays out like, what Tom, I'm right here. We want. Ariana, maybe just plays that like that scene in Black Panther, you know, does that fight scene over the waterfall? That's what it is. I'm trying to remember there's so many fights. Oh yeah, there were two over the waterfall.

Oh my God. Yeah. It can go either way. Either scene works. So he's like, Hey, I came up with a good idea for Vegas. Like you should come with me and she's like, okay. You. You. You. You. You.

You. You. He called Lisa. She said, yes, problem solved. Yeah. This has been solved in five minutes when they woke up in the morning. Yeah, we could have been,

you probably could have just like asked Lisa before he even mentioned it to Ariana. Yeah, like he could have just like not he could have just like just chilled out for a second. Yeah. Yeah. But he has to do it in the most offensive way possible. It's like, oh, it came up with an idea of five days later. Right. Well, we're about to vacuum. She has big, bare rental.

Meanwhile, she is still walking around me. You guys, just do whatever those things you can do before going to bed. Thanks guys. You know that she probably rewrote that Airbnb binder because every Airbnb binder is so annoying. It seems like they're like massive bold and highlighted and italicized.

Don't forget to make sure the bread drawer is closed like okay, we got it you know that she goes in there This is like her power trip is like making everything in bold huge things like Rob really doesn't like it when you leave the Panthread or open so please be mindful and close it. Thanks, AirPNV guests So the next we get hot tub hot tub Lanna She's like I was talking to your check and she told me and she repeats everything Raquel said. And he's like, yeah, well, I found you.

She was like, what do you mean, like discovered me? And he's like, yes, you're talents. I'm like, okay, are you taking credit for every clip in the garage band loop library as well, James? Okay, pressing a button doesn't mean you discovered something. He's like, hello, elevator. I just got with you. That's right, I'm going up, you discovered something. He's like hello elevator You that's right. Oh, you take it take it girl

And then basically, you know, Laos says well, you know You're really flirty flotatious with me and that makes her feel uncomfortable and James is like well I really just have to do with it. That's just who I am. That's just James Kennedy Like okay relax here. Okay. You're not like Andy were all you're not some artist and this's just who I am. That's just James Kennedy. Like okay, relax here. Okay, you're not like Andy Warhol. You're not some artist. And this is just who you are. Like it's called be respectful to your girlfriend. She may be a robot, but she's still your girlfriend. And then he hocks a leaky out and spits it outside out. It's like so romantic. She's like, he looks at me like it's an unconditional thing. And it's not, I don't have to be friends with James Kennedy. And then they show him leaning back like his eyes rolling back into his head.

Like this is a really romantic and he tells us, but you know, Ray Jay hit his fist before Kanye bright. I'm like, so you're Ray Jay now. I was like, why did you just downgrade yourself down to Ray Jay? You were already, I mean, we were white Kanye. You Why is he just white waday? He's just like descending. What's next? He's gonna be like yeah white I don't know heavy-dew or something Oh rest and peace heavy-dew. I don't know why I went to heavy-dew This is like my brain froze. I was like think of someone from the 90s Well god, I wish here was a song to describe what was happening the next morning. It's the next morning. Well, I'll buy you a cup of tea. Okay. So I guess

they're leaving. So she and then Robert Cuddling and she and Gus, I love like silence. Is that the fan to the fan just say that? I really do have to fix that. He's like, does the dog have to shit? He and he gips up and she's like, you're so sexy! You're my favorite. I mean, you're favorite first. Thanks for having love feelings.

He's like, what must be the awesome, what must it in the moment when he introduced Shina to Amber Valetta? Cause you can't, like, I'm like so confused. Yeah, like I wonder if Amber Valetta's met Sheena probably every day I ask myself, how they met, what does Amber think?

Like, does Sheena know that she's in the presence of a goddess? Like, I just have no idea. I feel like Amber Valetta, like, sits there and like smokes a cigarette and smiles sort of like very coldly at her and like blows the smoke. You know when people blow a smoke like up, like from their bottom up, this just blows it up until it's her head back.

Almost like a Christmas got Thomas moment, but it's Amber Valetta doing it and said, and she's nods, and then afterwards, she just like unleashes on Rob. Like what are you doing? Why is this woman here? And what are you leaving my house? Amber has never spoken to Sheena.

And Sheena doesn't think that's weird. She's just like not to remember it. She doesn't talk. Like she's not a talker. She's just going to close that. She doesn't say anything. She got like a hard of goal, but she's just like not, she's like guarded and like I'm new.

And so I get that. She doesn't want to talk with me just yet. But she will. She's talking to me. Like she's not me with where it's been she's talking to me. I feel it I feel like Amber Valetta has like a friend of very like Has a circle of friends who are like very European and literate and they'll go to like figure out cafe on Vermont And they like talk about Global things and she just talks about like her brother's new girlfriend and they just mock Sheena behind her back and then one day she brings Sheena to the circle

at Figaro Cafe, Sheena's ridiculous. And it's like one of those indie movies where someone comes the table of intellectuals and Sheena has find her way amongst this group. This is just how I surf see. Or any park or the vicious circle. It's my Amber Voletta fanfiction and'm just like leaning into it for a moment here Thank you. I like it. She's like a left bank intellectual

And sheena is like the American Well, well they're all Americans they're all expats, but you know, I'm trying for that. I got a clean get your driver K-Bow clank clank clank clank clank and jack's like I'm just glad I survived get your driver came back. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. And Jackson's like, I'm just glad I survived. And near death experience, and Britney's like, the dogs wouldn't survive with that. You die, you. Which is hilarious because she just told her mother, Jackson doesn't do anything for

the dogs and they're only hers. So I love that I never know if Britney's kidding. So they're all leaving. And we have to get to the most important scene ever the full time in any book or television show or movie or opera. Sheena at her apartment listening to Good is Gold and Dan's a girl had my herself. I want to act like I haven't been in her shoes that I have. Yeah, we've all been there.

Yeah. Did she have her iPhone plugged into the chair with the giant cup holders? Yes, you thus have speakers in them. What was happening? I'm not sure if they They turned over the money for that that model that were that upgrade of the barcalauncher deluxe couch, but It's possible And Kristen comes in. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, this is like the only way Kristen could film this week. They're like, well, you have to go interact with Sheena and Kristen's like, fine. And then goes there.

She's like literally not enjoying herself at all, giving this shady, a spatial expression. And like just hates her life in this moment. She just picked up something off the street. She's like, I've had this gift since your birthday, but like, I didn't want to give it to you to mask great ball because like, I didn't want to give you give it to you to mask great ball because like I didn't want to like lose it.

It's like it's a soap in the shape of a baseball. It says go Dodgers. I thought it'd be meaningful for you I guess. She literally went. So they start talking about this divorce closet that Shina has because it's it's like I got this divorce closet and basically it's like common property that I wanted to throw out so maybe I'll sell it so we just put like everything in it we put everything in a divorce closet like I still have to share this no board

and Chris is like oh seriously seriously does that bother Rob? I don't know like nothing bothers him him. He's like, so great. The one thing he loves the most is going to his shy stuff. It's like so fun for him. Like, you just see Rob sitting there like, groaning amongst like, she's dirty soiled boxers and... Who does that?

I have to hand it to Shino for inventing the most ironic business ever. Like selling your ex's stuff with your current boyfriend. But so does Rob make money from selling shade stuff? Yes. It's like eBay. It's like eBay. It's like eBay, but it's for people like who haven't gotten rid of stuff yet. I'm like, so it's like eBay.

Yeah. So she's making her for a ride. He's like, I want to get rid of this stuff, but like I don't know what to do. And he's like, let's start a business. Like he won't tell her that eBay exists. And then she could like, just sit on Craigslist for cash if she wanted to.

He's like taking a cut of Shea Snowboy. Rob is like so connected. He has his friend named Craigslist. And so like, Rob is just like, I'll just give it to my friend Krag and he's really like solid for us. It's like so convenient. He's so smart. He's like, I need an investment of 100K

to get this business started. Talk to your auntie, the one that did to Krabtop. She's like, okay, this is so much fun. That's called the Barrett's Cross. No, no, no. Shay posted on social media that he never got his snowboard back. And I'm like, what? And like you ever used it in the first place.

Yeah, exactly. When we were back, Shay. I'm like, also, you know, I'm not gonna feel bad for you because all you had to do was go and get it. Like, you just had to drive to China's and like- Other things you never got back. His assing on TV elliptical, his ankle weights. His Casio keyboard that also was like a horn. You know those things. I got that one. Got it on this really cool new

website. So she and it just starts going on and off because Kristen is just really like the worst and the most hilarious. I mean, thank God for her. Thank God she's on this show, but God wouldn't awful human being So she's like, okay, God's so gossip gossip. So Jack stole me that Rob really hates you and he wants you to drown the death And also that he refuses to say he loves you. She's like, he did not say that Which he he loves you because I know we didn't say that I know my man loves me. He just doesn't like to show it.

It's worth like how he doesn't like kissing people unless they're a talker. So like I get it, just who he is. It's like I'm like fine with that. It's also me with actions. I'm like, Jack's like, Jack's is so threatened. My robber's collar, he's sexier, he has a bigger ringer, he's so hard to shit more in the morning when I say I love you

Like he has a bigger chopper keeper things to clean because he has a house that he has not to people He has a fabulous about to fall on their head just because it could not because it wants to It's like Why do I have to be here? See the other way he looks at me. He's fucking a doors me He like looks at me with this look on his face like his jaws dropped and he's staring at me in his eyes His eyebrows one's going up one's going down and he's like look at me. That's like the look of love We already named our first baby and then they cut to her in interview. She's like Madison Marie

Oh She doesn't exist in a fantasy world at this point. Yes, but just like the status fantasy, I feel so bad. You feel bad for Sheena. Oh, I do. I really, well, no, I don't. Yeah, I don't either. I don't, I'm like entertained by it.

I'm just like purely entertained by it. Yeah, she's like a, she needs to be like locked up, benefit, she's like, bullied, she's divorced herself from reality. I know. I'm not talking. Rob just puts his hands over his ears, which is sort of his way of saying, like,

I don't want to hear anything else from the outside world. I just want to hear your voice right now. It's like so sweet and loving. He puts a ball in my mouth sometimes. She says, be quiet. You know, I really love his dog. And like he loves his dog. Like he says, batch in the dog batch.

I'm sorry, I know he loves me with a accent. Sometimes I say, I love you. Sometimes I say, I really love his dog and like he loves his dog like he says that's in the dog batch Sometimes I love you sometimes I say I love you when he goes and I say no I love you when he goes shh because I love you goes don't talk and I say oh my god He just wants to sit in the silence of our love right now. It's so beautiful So she they're totally false for this Kristen's like oh, oh, he said he doesn't love you Jack said he ever really hate you And I'm like I do want to fuck with my relationship? Jack's all fuck with you. And then Kristen does this big shit-y thing, and she's like, just get my job for another season. By the way, she's like, yeah, he's going down. Can we, can we circle back to Madison Marie Parks, Voleta for a second?

Can we can we circle back to Madison Marie Parks, Voletta for a second? Where how do we feel about this theoretical baby name? Madison Marie Parks, Voletta. It has two major New York City avenues in it already. So that's already kind of curious. So the Marie is what Sheena brings to the table. I'm like, I'm shocked that it's not Shay Parks, Voletta since she had Shay as her identity. But I'm not so it's not Shay Park's Voleta since she had Shay.

It's like her identity, but I'm not so mad at it. I guess I can see really see that for Sheena, like her naming her baby Madison. Yeah, she's definitely mad at me too. Where's the parks coming from? Do we know? I'm a park's last name is Park's Voleta. That's Rob's last name. Yeah, so I don't know where the parks, like I don't know if he's half brother of Amber

or full brother. Because she's not a Parks Voletta. He's Parks Voletta. Yeah, so that's like a double hyphenate essentially. I know the Marie is the middle name. What's Sheena's real last name? Again, do we know? I forget.

Jenkins. Jenkins. That's right. Like J-A-N-C-A-N or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Okay, all right. But, like J.A.N.C.A.N. or something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Okay. All right.

But she was going by Sheena Marie, I think when she was just starting out, but now she's Sheena Shea. Right. Sheena Shea, which we always joke that Shea was called a Shea Shea. Yeah. I forgot. Just now, it was me. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Micah Shea. Like, Becky. Yeah, and that pretty much brings us to the end. What an amazing episode. How it was so great laughing with you, Laura. Thanks for having me.

Thanks you guys for having me. You made me cry. Oh, man, you were so funny. Sorry, we didn't, you know, once we get going, in the beginning, we're like, yes, let's, like, let's let Laura say some things. And then once we get going, we're like We're like yes, let's like let's let Laura say some things And then once we get going we're like just we we are like we can't stop. We know I love it It's like I get to relive the episode all over again

Yeah, and then you get to do all of this again tonight when you recall your episode So in one hour I get a break for an hour and then I get No, but it's great. It's for you. Why don't you just read, why don't you just cross post it? So I just post your episode of, which is cross posted. Who is your guest? If we had to do this again tonight,

I'd be like, cross post. I didn't even, that didn't even cross my mind. Like, and that's, but, you know, more. I was trying to be easiest way to do anything. Yeah, yeah. How how is your guests for this week? My guest for this week is Kara O'Donnell. Oh, Carrie. I know Carrie. We just we just met Carrie's friend in New York at our show last week. What Carrie's former roommate in New York is a big crap and

span and she came to our VIP meet and greet. I'm liking on her name but she's very lovely and Carrie is very funny. Yeah, he's a serical. So what a small world. What a small gay world. After all. Oh, so I think everybody, thank you so much for listening. Please go find Laura at Sex Unique Podcast.

And say your Instagram and Twitter once again. For Sex Unique Podcast, it's at Sex Unique Pod. Yeah, that's all social media. And for anyone who wants to follow us on social media, we're just go to watchrocrapins.com and you'll find all our social media links, but it's pretty much just like at watchrocrapins. And you just Google it's easy, it's easy.

Google it. Just Google, like Kim Zelsiac, Google main. Yeah, thanks Laura. This was a pure blast. And we'll be back tomorrow to talk some real house with Beverly Hills. Bye everyone. Bye.

Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch or crap ends. Add free on Amazon Music. Bye.