Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: The Scorn Ultimatum

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

Vanderpump Rules has a James problem. Again. Lisa's given an ultimatum: will she call Bubba's bluff or is this the end of SUNT? This week's bonus is dedicated to Top Chef. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live has added a second show to Dallas on Feb 8, plus announced shows in Vancouver, Irvine, Boston and DC! Find ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com **All of this year's Limited Edition tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com until Christmas! You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Kelly Grant the grant master give them hell miss Noel. Let's get racy with Miss Stacy Shannon out of a cannon Anthony the incredible edible Matthew sisters and Lizzie Drucker a fine mother. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens, the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Karram from the Rosepricks Bachelor REST Podcast and here I am! With the gorgeous, the talented, the thin, the well-coffed, Mr. Ben Mantelker of the real housewares of kitchen Ireland, Cartoon on YouTube, hello, Ben! Hi, you know, thank you very much for saying I'm thin because I'll tell you one thing. I have eaten so many sweets this weekend, just nothing but chocolate and wafers and things like that going into my mouth,

so I just need to be told I'm thin because honestly I'm not feeling it, Iondle the cat. We are well, that heart. We are still traveling all over the place, everybody. We just announced a second night in Dallas on February 8th, which is a Friday, because the first one sold out. So Dallas people go get them tickets. We also announced shows in Phoenix, a second show in Boston as well. And, uh, we're missing. Irvine, nothing. Irvine. Vancouver.

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sure you get ready for those. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be a different venue this time around. And I'm personally looking forward to it a lot. I'm just looking at our calendar right now. We like half the shows that we're doing already in 2019 are sold out. So if you want to come see us live, go get your tickets because we, I mean, it's hugely, hugely flattering that you guys are buying tickets for a show and selling us out and totally grateful. But the truth is that these shows are something that are really quickly. So go get those tickets now while you can. Go get them. You can also grab all of our limited edition t-shirts for the year through

the first of January before our new t-shirts go up. So just go to crappensmarch.com or where you're going to find them. Take it links ever. Watch what and stuff. Okay. Now let's get to the show. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do the flair trying to get someone to come find her. Poor senior. You're a flair. You're a flair. Ow! Mm. She's like, can you put your movie all as lost and I was like, what would happen if I were in the scene? I'd hit by a shipping container and then I was like, I'd see for the rest of my life. I wouldn't want that.

So now I carry a flair around just in case. Mm. Well, think I'd hang a TV unless the seven minutes. So, uh, James, we start where we left off. We're still at Pride, which you was filled with pride today. No one that's who, no one at this restaurant, you bunch of good for nothing. In grades, where James is just basically called Katie Fatt. He didn't say it in those words, but I mean, he said it in a lot of other words. And school. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star I'm the star, I'm the star

and then we see the clip of what happened where Katie's like what's going on with your fucking pants dude and he's like don't get me started on you babe, those shorts don't work for you babe and then James goes I mean not to be dramatic he goes I went from having the best day at Sir to literally having the worst day in my fucking life. In two seconds, I'm like the worst in your life.

The worst in your life, really? The worst day in my life, that time I called someone fat again. Wait a minute, how are you the victim here? And look, like I said last week, I was very upset to finish that episode on Katie's side. It's not a place I often find myself on and frankly it feels uncomfortable Okay, I like her side. I like being here. So stop putting me there you jerk So he's like people keep trying to sink my boat like okay Okay, Moby dick. I don't think anyone wants to get on your boat. Okay, people see your boat and they're like Okay, Bobby Dick. I don't think anyone wants to get on your boat.

Okay, people see your boat and they're like, oh, that's not gonna be good boat. That's like the anti-titanic, as in like people do not want to go on that one. They're like not trying to get naked and take like have paintings made of themselves on it. They're just like, no, we're just, that's all right, it's a nice burger already.

Yeah, no one wants to be on your boat, captain Ace Gab. Okay. So James, it Ace Gab, okay? Yeah. So James, I'll just include some weights. And then we see Shina talking to Raquel. Shina, bless her heart. Just doesn't really know how to be comforting. But Raquel's like, I don't know what I'm supposed to believe,

but it's not like Kristen is a very reliable source. Yeah, but I'm not saying like the ball, but maybe don't believe it, but maybe also believe it, but maybe. Like, say something, anything. I'm saying like the bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bole bo Yeah, so uh, Stasi, Stasi- Stasi- based is like, you know, it really doesn't matter like whether or not we believe hope because James cheats all the time So like who get it? Like whether she's whether hope is lying or not. We all know so it doesn't matter Yeah, and Rick Hell's like you have it like um like clearly he broke because Christians there Oh no, she's she's just talking about Christin She's like like clearly you broke your heart and now you're coming for me And she's like, okay, what's wrong? I'm not saying a true

Well, I could all be like true, but like I don't know if it's true, but maybe it's true, but maybe it's not true Like maybe he didn't cheat, but then maybe he did she and like maybe he was cheating while he was planning to not cheat Which means like did he really cheat at all? If it's true, it falls in the forest, did James really cheat? No, Sina, I'm not gonna say that you're never gonna be a good wife. I will say that you're never gonna be on the good wife, okay? I'm not gonna say that you're never gonna be on the good wife, okay?

The worst lawyer ever. So she tells us- I think that hope exaggerates a lot of things. I mean, her name is Hope, but I'm not saying she's a complete liar, but however Also a door a cow and she's just got out of college enough my friends. Yeah Yeah, she did she is just like looking for anyone who's gonna hang out with her at this point She's like I really like her cow. It's like talking to like a big piece of wood. And I really appreciate that.

But what reminds me of the amount that brought me to the amount is to be less than seven minutes. Her. I know because she's like being iced out. She didn't sexually harass anybody. You know, she's just being iced out for being Sina. So she just she knows harassed everyone. Yeah.

She's like, I'm going to stand by with cow. Which is I like that there was. Yeah. I like that there was like a flashback, which was talking about how like poor Wichelle's out of college and doesn't have any friends in LA. And we see a flashback of Wichelle and Sheena and James at some like furniture shop.

And- They're like the pottery barn in the grove. Yeah, and she is just like sitting on a bed and she's just like, she's just to work by all these giant pillows and like puffy things and she's just like little Sheena on the bed. She's like, I am Sheena and I'm sitting on a bed that you're looking at right now. Yeah, I think a set Crate and Barrel is what I'm thinking of with the second floor

because you know, Sheena loves the Grove. I mean, she really is Sheena Cat. She's like a little bit on the bed like, wow. Yeah, I was like, maybe on the cat like, well, yeah, I was like, maybe I'm not a cat. Bye. I feel the need to be a big sress. Well, not big, like, you know, because it's really important for me to say that. But like a thin sess.

So Vanderpumpen can go to serve to check on everything and Jack's in their 80s clothes, which, you know, was still her pink, her pink floor link dress with a really long saw and a gardening hat with flowers. Basically, she just added an accessory to her normal outfit. So Jack's in the little bar and the garden, and he's fully sweating. The last thing he really wants is your bartender, full of sweat stands and all sort of giant

shapes. And so she walks in and she goes, Jacks, why is there such a long line? You're supposed to be serving these customers who are in a line that goes all the way around the block. And he's like, it would really help if you went over there. Like, God, this is fun isn't it, Jacks? I remember these days of you sweating all over the limes. Wondering what diseases you're going to spread?

I'll cut from us today, Jacksie. In France, we call this botanage. So then, Raquel, meanwhile, walks up to Hope. Because Hope is still just like lingering around in that really strangely fitting top that she's wearing. And so, Raquel really strangely fitting top that she's wearing. And so Raquel walks over to her and she's like, Hey, can I talk to you for a second without Kristen? And Kristen's like, yeah, no problem, no problem.

Be kind, be kind. Kristen, he just came and took the wrecking model of this girl. Yeah. So Raquel's like, I don't know what to do at this point if I believe James then I need to stand up for my boyfriend But if I believe hope I need to break up with James If I believe Terence Ravens, then I need to wait. What are we talking about again? I believe in believing Like someone tap recall that actually something

There is actually something like sadly poetic about the phrase if I believe hope I need to break up with jams I believe in hope So Rick it all's like okay tell me about Kacala and hope like that was like minimal Tell me about Kacala and hope like that was like minimal Like we would like hook up But like he would say that you're like not in a like real real relationship and like he was afraid that you'd find out so like We stopped ticking up and then Rick L's like chocolate fudge brownie Oh wait.

No, you're not ordering ice cream, Rickel, stay focused. Sorry. You even sleeping with him since Coachella two years ago? And then he's like, no, I've been sleeping with him like for three years. Look, I think like you're like a beautiful person. Like, he's not. And then Rickel's like, like, I need more proof.

I mean, this is what happens when we keep doing drugs as mothers. It was like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like, there's a lot of like,'s like an epsom, like, yeah. This is what it was like in 1987 when you tried to insert a PC disk into a Macintosh. It was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, question marks. I loved that when Raquel was like, just to go back like a few lines when Raquel was like, so we've been sleeping with James and Coachella two years ago

and hope is like, no, we've been sleeping with James and Coachella two years ago and hope it's like, no, I've been sleeping with him for three years ago or whatever. And Raquel just grabs her head like, maaaah. So hard. So stossy is now ordering drinks from Jacks and the little bar in the garden. And she's like, so like, like James, like yelling at Katie saying she's fat and now it's being crazy and all this hope stuff. She basically is gossiping and then James just like appears behind her like a little shark but like one of those stupid sharks like a reef shark or whatever that doesn't only do

any damage. And he just like, you can't see my face, but imagine me sucking in my cheeks. I'm like, hey girl, I'm walking behind you girl. He's like, I need lemon drop or a pump tinny stuck. I'm just like, you James, get out,

it, I've got out, you're gross, you're dumb, you're gross. If you took a James Bond villain and made him gross and sweaty and like hadn't played by him, they may see it in muppet. I mean, that would be sheenah but I really don't like James either gross. Wow looks like I found you Mr Bond.

So then meanwhile by the way I have to say I finally figured out what Billy Lee's look is. She's basically channeling Edith Alco playing that lawyer in the Menendez brothers TV show. You're right. That is who she looks like. That is a good call. If you guys don't know what that is, look it up. Lawn order the Menendez brothers and look at any kind of. Even face to me. That's even the lip she's giving everybody in the poster. She's like, mm. Like just giving me like, really, yeah. I feel like she's just standing over tables as like,

I'm a lawyer. Ah. Ah. And then she's everywhere that her client is at all times. Like, they're like, let's have a scene by the refrigerator. She's like, mm. She's like, come here. You should have come here and dress!

AHHHH! AHHHH! So, um, so anyway, so, I'm going to be good. James is like, Thank you. So James is like,

you know, Stossie, you need to learn how to take a joke better. Okay, instead of a dildo up your ass, and she's like, MMM, I wish I had a dildo up my ass that'd be nice. And Vander Promp is like James James come here listen calm down don't stop to get

Yeah she's just like she's like I can see from his face that he's frenetic well you're really like really yeah wow like he's like rubbing his nose with his forearm and like going, he looks like a bird on steroids. Yeah, so she goes over to Rekal and she's like, look, Rakel, I know your boyfriend is on the edge, the edge of glory. But calm him down and make sure he doesn't have another sip of another drink. I'm sorry to put that responsibility on you But that's the price to pay for dating a star

If he has one more drink before the strike of midnight I will banish him to the little bar So then it custody. So then we're coming on the table like wiki wiki. Wiggy wiki motherfucker wiki. And so Rick, Rick, he was like, Lisa's here. She doesn't want to see drunk James. So I lay for that. I'm sorry.

Yeah, she just inhaled drunk James just a minute ago. Okay. So she knows. Yeah. Also, I was talking about hope. What is hope? I don't understand that concept. I feel like I've lost in the past two years, but then this girl came up to me.

I was like, I'm sleeping with you. He's like, bullshit, bullshit, laws, laws, what's next? So James is just like on this like drunk in tirade. He's like, to the whole to go fucking hell, go to fucking hell, little little fuck whole, hope hell, the whole, hope hell shut up James. Yeah, he's gross. Like that's wrong to hang me with the rope. That rhymes with hope. That's crazy. I never thought of that before. She's just like the way that you're angry with me right now

He's like it's been old days been old day of this Like that you've been drinking it's like okay love you love you are we done here? Are we done yeah? Sick of all these girls saying they slept with James. I'm like Do you think it's just like people do it for fun that they like to just falsely use James sleeping with like, yeah. If you have a situation where it's like all these girls plural are coming up and saying this is maybe time to look at the numbers. Yeah, like she's the one girl waiting for that one intent dentist who hasn't like come forward to say cold gate it really works against harder you know like come on Rick out yeah shoot so then Tom number two and Katie are at home and he's you know

in his usual state completely either drunk or hungover on the couch to address yes and it's like papa why do we do it those have shots sir add up It's like, Papa, why do we do it? Those have shots, sir. Add up. God. Especially when you drink twice the alcohol. I'm like, okay. Math is really not working out for these people this episode.

This was so cute like 10 years ago. Yeah, it's really getting like sad. I think it's like not cute anymore. I'm just like, all right, Mr. Bubba, it's time to get your act to your error. Just drink it. It's not a hall, like, okay? Just say it. So, it's time to get your act to your error. Like drink it. Yeah. Okay, just say it.

So, two, she starts blending her shake or whatever. And he's like, I don't want the houseiness right now. I want pizza. She's like, okay, well, it was really intense last night, because I was like, picture shorts, James. But then he was like, do not get me started on you. And you should not wear those shorts. And then he looked at my body with disgust.

He's like, well, to be fair, he looked at everything and disgust. That was kind of where he is. Now James is wrong. There's nothing I can say for James in this one. Yeah. He's an ass. He is an ass. And I mean, he's, he is, he, he isn't asked and I mean he was he is he is he cursed out

a pot of plant to to be fair. So he really had no idea what he was doing, but I'm not defending him. I'm just saying like he's just an asshole to anything and everything. Okay. You can tell that Katie has stopped hanging out with her real smart friends because you know when she would use words that she thought were really big. And she'd be like, well, I don't know when the convenient narrative. Yeah, but now she's been hanging out with Brittany a lot. So she's like, I'm not upset, Tom. I'm filled with rage.

Someone had the gumption to come up to me and say those words. Like go back to your smart friends, please. Yeah. So then he's like, I want to hug you, but I have to get off the couch. So do it. We're on TV so he gets up and I'm sure he's in his dress. Yeah. And in meanwhile, I'm just like watching them. And I'm like, you know, Tom's whole stick is getting old. And they still have that fucking boba art there. Like something has got to change in this place. And also like do your dishes. You're on TV. So, um, meanwhile, we go over to James's apartment. And he's putting to And also like do your dishes you're on TV so

Meanwhile we go over to James's apartment and he's putting together furniture and he's you know Now he's sober and he's doing like I'm just sweet little boy James Just got made fun of all the time look at me one minute. Oh, sorry No, just like no you do it. I'm just gonna say like look at me. Just trying to use an L wrench With our possibly convertible table that I got from the Kia online just gonna say, like, look at me, just trying to use an L-rench sitting here with a possibly convertible table that I got from the IKEA online, you know. Look at me respecting women so much. I love women. Look, I'm having this lovely lady. Look at me while I put together this thing with my L-rench. I don't like how that puppy is attacking my L-Retch lady. Get off her dog.

I'm a star puppy. I'm a star. I love that even the dog treats Rick out like shit She's like why is that treating me like that? He's like why is the TV remorse so furry So So he's been together the furniture and she's like one minute. I'm having fun So he's been together for a while and he's like, one minute I'm having fun. I'm going to keep with the fucking, but oh my god, and you survived. It was a metaphor for Kel. It's bullshit how they come from. It's bullshit. Well, I felt like they came from me. And he's like, you know, they know they were really coming from me.

If you actually look back, they're actually trying to save you from me. They they were really coming for me if you actually look back they're actually trying to save you from me they're not really coming for you like I said they're coming for me no Raquel do you understand the word come? don't answer that it's like I was hopes fuck buddy but I have and she was there for me she was always there for me to fuck but I haven't fucked her since I've been with Raquel. And then he gets a call and he's like, Hey Peter, birthday boy! How you doing on your birthday? I can't wait to get together on your birthday. Boorrr.

I can't wait to obviously have drinks with you at your birthday tonight. Clearly nothing will derail that whatsoever because our friendship is so good. And I'm sure the last thing you would ever want would be for me not to be there, right boy? Ha ha ha ha ha. And Peter's like, hey, yeah, it's Peter from Sir. so good and I'm sure the last thing you would ever want would be for me not to be there right boy And feed is like hey, yeah, it's Peter from sir. Uh, okay, look. I'm real busy. So look real quick

Have to disinvite you to my birthday party Why I'm out of your wrench pita Okay, I'm embarrassed about myself about myself So yeah, so basically Peter is like no you can't come anymore because you're awful. And he's like, it's a gutting feeling. I feel so gutted. I'm so gutted. The record goes, actions have consequences.

Just remember that next time you think about drinking or putting soda in the fridge because if you put soda in the fridge it's gonna get cold, it's a consequence of your action, I figured it out. Remember that time you got that water hard? Maybe you'll think about that next time. It's like that was ice. I told you. It's like, but it can't just look up on me because twirls drinks don't taste like alcohol and then boom on wasted It's like no that's not it. You've been drinking a lot lately. I don't like the guy you have become it is out of hand And I don't want you to get All right hold on just starts adjusting the rabbit ears on a cow. Oh, I think I'm getting it I

Just like I mean I don't think you can say it's based on Tom's Tom's drinks I think you just you're drinking is out of hand and I'm Raquel. If I notice it, that's bad. I also like by the way that a little bit earlier in the scene Raquel goes, if you did cheat on me, I would want you to tell me. He's like, oh yeah, of course, of course. Like, if I'm telling him his drinking is out of hand, but then I'm telling him, I don't want a drink in his hand. What kind of matches is am I sending? If his drink is out of hand and if he has one bird in hand, can he exchange a bird for a drink? He's like, Wolf you, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. And then she tells us, she's like, I bought him to stop drinking

and never have a sip of alcohol again. And then she takes a sip from a gigantic red drink that she's got. She has a good martini sitting right next to her. Ha, ha, ha. Okay, so the next stop, Harrison passed out on the charit pump. Yes, Harrison's there, They're technically a surfer. And Lisa...

Lisa's at the bar with Peter and a guest who comes in. It is the none one and only teddy bear. And guess what? She's on time as always. Now this is a win for Teddy Malon Camp. This goes to show that she's been playing the long game. Well, I guess it's not the long game, but she's just playing whatever game she's been doing has worked because last time I checked, Dorita hasn't had a cameo or Lisa, especially not a scene on Vanderpump rules. Lisa has been hinting and Lisa hints in this episode like, I have not been to the real housewives because I'm so broken

Which is kind of her reason, you know, cuz her brother did die bless her heart So she hasn't been around but they're like well, why are you around for Vanderpump rules? But you're not around for Beverly Hills. Yeah, so in this so for in this seat. Yeah, I mean it was So in this so for in this scene. Yeah, I mean it was Basically, yes, so Teddy comes over and she's like, ah, Teddy So I haven't seen you since what since everything happened and he's like, yes, yes, yes, but It was hard, but I just got back on the horse not as good as you did teddy bear You're the real host champion. And then Peter comes in.

I grew up riding horses. So Peter, Teddy is basically asking for a job for her brother. A TV job specifically. She's like, Telling Peter how come in here please. You're thin telling pizza come in the app. Please you're thin enough to be back on television. And he's like, hey, I'm gonna move my boobs a little. She's like, you daddy little rascal. Okay, your brother can't have a job. I'm still depressed. She's like, yeah, nothing. She's like, well thanks, this was great. I'm still daddy. She's like, oh!

See, daddy's smart. She's ensuring her longevity by implanting her brother or embedding her brother in Sir, you know, so that's smart. That's something that to read or Kyle never even thought of. I mean, Kyle, I'm surprised that Kyle hasn't been like, oh, Lisa, I want to have an internship for one of my daughters at Sir, you know, no, she would never give someone else's business that plug. Her kids are all working at the agency, Boone. Yeah, exactly. So anyways,

then there's some sad moments where Lisa reflects on, you know, losing her brother and being sad. I felt bad for Lisa because I feel like she's not equipped to deal with grief. I feel like her stiff upper lip, her British stiff upper lip is like destroying her slowly on the inside with this whole situation. I just want to be like let it out Let it out. I want her to have a Robin Williams moment on Goodwill hunting. We're like, it's not your fault It's not your fault and just say it enough to her until she starts to weep. Well, she did Lisa's version of weeping, which is going it's hot My kind of doing that thing with the whole Lisa weep. No, but I'm not trying kind of doing that thing with her teeth. That's what I'm holding, so we...

No, but I'm not trying to make light of it. I just felt bad that she clearly is like... You know, she... Well, I've not got to say because I do not like depression. So we're going to pretend everything's fine. Why don't we talk about something that we do like, which is food? Can we talk about HelloFresh, our favorite? It's time for commercial.

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I've made some wonderful things with it. I will always say that it changed my outlook on cooking pork chops forever. I had a new box last week and I made some amazing burgers with like a red onion situation on top with Monterey Jack cheese. It was delish. Yeah, I actually ate it right now before this recap.

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fresh all right let's move on to Peter and Carter's birthday party that Peter and Carter having a joint birthday party which James is not invited to as previously discussed and guess what they are both still just as boring as they were before they doubled up the boring. Okay? Yeah, Carter barely even got a moment at his own party on camera. Yeah. So Britney is like, um, it's weird to see Sheena going out with adding on after she tried to always thought she'd like to mean, but you're changed. Yeah, all right, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know's his birthday too. And Jack's like, I look at Tom's dad like, one of the guys, because like, he didn't look like a dad. Okay, so they start, they start,

they make the dad imitate Tom's model looks. Yeah, he's like, Look, I'm looking at this bro. Bubs coming in. Meanwhile, Schwartz at his, whatever age he's at still has not understood, not like grasped the concept of like how to blow up a balloon. And so he'd like blows up a balloon and like a pops in his face or something or maybe he's inhaling it. So blue pops in his

face. And the point is that the rubber industry finally got their revenge on watch on the I must have watched what happens. Like at the revenge on us to well finally something rubber that actually did burst So it works probably like actually jacks probably like see it happens. It happens Yeah, it's the first time he's gonna tell that to Katie and she's gonna like still think it's a lie It's like I heard that one before so Peter arrives in bus boy clothes. He's in all blacks and he's like it is my fucking birthday bitch Is that for you? Stas is like you're really sad. Please get off my TV immediately Peter yeah, so meanwhile Stas he's like sitting talking to Brittany and she's like I think I want a breast reduction

AF and a lift cuz I don't wear bras, okay? Does that and then she knows comes by like here's cake, and I brought three forks to you, so we can all eat and break and desert together. And Tossi just goes, it's like, it's about to have an important moment about breast reductions. Yeah, I'm like something more shallow than talking about yearly breast reductions,

just approach the table. Like fuck this. And did you notice she and they did a full mop it? She goes, I love it! Yeah! Yeah, and did you notice she and they did a full mop it she goes I love it She's auditioning to be in a Ford commercial We pulled three people off the street and let them test drive a Ford Fiesta And I like breaks wow

So let's see, uh, Brittany's like, So I have to ask you, Sheena, what's your opinion on James? She's like, well, we almost help. Has been known to make up some stories. And Stasi's like, um, so, hope it's a liar. No, I definitely believe today I've like done some things since he's been with Rick out, so he's not a liar.

No, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that. So I'm just like, here we go, she's the flip flopper. So one minute, she's on the hopeside and then wait, she's not on the hopeside anymore, okay? I used to be a flip flopper, but then I decided, now I'm not gonna flip flop anymore, but then sometimes I feel like maybe I should. I don't know.

Am I a flip flopper? Am I a broken stalker? So. She's literally the popping, I'm being a proplop. It is so meta, I can't deal. She's like, no, my boots. Sheena, I feel like you've been used to making sure everyone's happy with you and being friends and it,

and friends with everyone. And she's like, yeah, because that sounds like the nicest thing to say to somebody. It's like, she's like, God, she know, you know how you're always worried about everyone's feelings and making sure that everyone feels included. Yeah. It sucks, you're an idiot.

You're making everyone bitter about you. Errrrr. Yeah, you have no loyalty to anyone, which means if you don't like who we don't like, we're never gonna invite you to Girl's Night. Bye, enjoy being with James on the, you know, on the ferry back to Staten Island or whatever. Bye I don't understand what happened. I just brought you a cake and now I'm

Been cut out on the rest of the season. So yeah, that's pretty much what they're doing and I really hate when these girls do that I hate it. I Think it's so mean and I'm so excited I think they're just such dicks about it. I don't like it. Yeah, that's so mean and I'm so excited. I'm not. I think there's just such dicks about it. I don't like it. Yeah, that's what we tune in for. It's a story. So I don't like it.

That's what we tune in for. It's because every year these girls get together and they ice someone out and that's what makes it hilarious. It's just this petty turf or that's just like it's it's every. Listen, this is this has been Shino's role, okay? This has been a role since the beginning. She will never, ever, ever be part of the cool kids. She will come close.

There will be times when she will feel accepted, but she never will be part of them. And you know, it's cyclical. And every few years, she has a season where they're like, wait a second, we let Shina come to our parties. Let's kick her out. And then they just kicker while she's down Go back for sheena and the audience loves sheena, so then they start to bring her back and again It's great. I love it. It's a great cycle

It's like watching a moth like go from like a from being like a a caterpillar like a door or gypsy moth to a moth Sheena sheena has just been like, you know, she became a beautiful Moth and had little Moth babies and now like the caterpillar must regrow. So meanwhile Peter tells Jack that he's been rehired at Sir Wada Shocker and then we see Ariana and Stasi planning their joint birthday party, which is truly a shocker because they've hit each other for so many years. Although, Stasi does remind us that she's always wanted to be friends with Ariana. She's just that Ariana has like basically dismissed Stasi all this time.

And we just see this like glorious montage. Ariana being like, Get on my face. Yeah, whatever. I don't have to like you. I don't like you, stupid. And then Stasi's like, well yeah, being friends with Ariana was easy.

Like I followed her around until she either took out of her restraining order on me or just became friends. So worked out great. And Ariana says, yeah, she was so nice for so long that like, I just gave up being a bitch to her. Too much energy. It's a war of attrition.

You know, I, what I like about that is because, you know, for so many years, you know, Stasi is still, even when she doesn't really have a central storyline, like the season, she's still sort of like the de facto queen of the show, right? Like she's the female lead even when she's like really not doing much. queen of the show, right? Like she's the female lead even when she's like really not doing much. And she's always been like the like her role is like the popular mean girl. But when she talks about like following Ariana around and just like annoying her into friendship, I was like it's nice because it reminds you that she really is just like a theater kid at heart, you know? She's just like a theater door who's like walking around the cafeteria seeing I dreamed a dream until finally a joke I thought I'll take you to the prom. No, that's definitely a little fall of a rain a little fall of rain kind of girl

We've already had this discussion Okay, you know Ronnie. I should mention oh I already I already texted you never mind as you can say that I signed up on Apple music over the weekend for Express Purpose of making the ultimate showtunes playlist. Oh, nice. It's really good. How's it coming along?

Coming along well. You know, I feel like I still need to, like, like, there's still many things I need to add and I'm like very open to any recommendations from you. I've got about 70 songs from like classic ones. Because they really add up. I mean, they've got like, you know, three or four from Little Shop of Hars, three or four from Guys and Dolls,

you got some Oklahoma in there, Chicago. It just starts to add up. Oh yeah, we should compare a musical this one day. We'll have a fight, a list fight. Well, I feel like you have much to teach me because you really know your musicals. Only my older ones, I'm just getting into my newer ones. Well, say, my newer, like, older ones, I like putting like, I only put in like a few really new ones. I put in a Dear Evan Hansen song,

which I felt embarrassed about for some reason, because it's so like, it's so hot, like, like it's in many ways, it sounds like it should be on like the Disney Channel even I know the musical is not a Disney Channel musical but it's a good song so put it on. Oh, well speaking of high school, these two were like kissing pinky rings or whatever they're doing like a pinky ring promise or whatever. And she is she is like, um, say, are you on our over the years like she doesn't give a shit about sausage, she hates sausage, I think sausage, super he, um, see, I'm over the years. Like, she doesn't give a shit about Stossie. She hates Stossie.

She thinks Stossie's super hyperface. Like, now they're getting close and I'm on the out. So, like, I don't even know where I stand right now. And it first, it sounds like so high school. Yeah, but she's so right. It happens in this episode. Like, I literally don't know where I stand right now. Like, where am I?

What is, oh, I'm gonna rest around. Everywhere. Am I even standing right now? Like, seriously's kind of sad I'm all so, I'm so hungry. So meanwhile Katie is planning a girls night out. She's like, I thought it'd be fun. Like tomorrow night we do like an old Hollywood theme night. I'll just be like girls night out. And it'll be basically like the four of us plus Kristen and Ariana's like, um, I have a feeling that she will be disappointed and not be included and Katie's like, um, yeah, but we don't hang out with her so she actually said, I've done a lot of work on myself and I don't want a backslide.

Oh, really? You've done a lot of work on yourself. You don't want a backslide. Oh really, you've done a lot of work on yourself, so you don't want to backslide into that like five minutes that you were nice in your life. I included someone else. Yeah, I don't understand. It's really nice that you've done a lot of work on yourself, but I don't understand what doing that work on yourself does.

I don't understand how like the work on yourself equates to making she feel like ship by being the only one that doesn't get invited to this. Yeah, I don't want to backslide, so I'm gonna cut somebody out of filming. She really is an asshole. And while we're on the subject of, well, we're not today,

but last week we talked about how awkward the 80s party was for a gay party. And now she's talking about old Hollywood. Like this whole, you're making this whole season about sexual harassment and men being pigs old Hollywood might not be the time we want to remember. You know what I mean? Yeah. How about a better Hollywood? Good for Hollywood party. I just think it's funny that they're consistently picking the worst themes. Yeah. So Ariana is like, does not want to

get in the middle of this makes she's like, well, I mean, I haven't been hanging out with the she knows much to be fair. And like, you know want to get in the middle of this mix. She's like, well, I mean, I haven't been hanging out with Asuna as much to be fair. And like, you know what, if she's not invited, that's up to her to work out with them. She's a big girl. So I'm already like, oh, this is going to go badly. Yeah, this is not going to go well. I do not like that choice.

Yeah, that's sad. And everyone doesn't have to hang out with Sheen all the time if they don't like her or whatever. But this is obvious what they're trying to do. And I feel like Ariana really needs to watch more real housewives shows, because this is a classic real housewives move. Yeah, you get like suckered into the mean girls

and then you burn bridges with your friend. They'll be fine, you know, because then they'll have a scene where they'll be like, no, I still love you. You're still my best friend and they hug. So Stasi, I like this. I love when Stasi tries to like talk talk herself out or like try to like, use some weird logic to prove that she's not

a mean girl anymore. She's like, we're not being assholes. It's not like us being like, hey, let's leave Sheena out. I'm like, you guys are specifically leaving. She's really leaving Sheena out. Like we've tried so hard. This is all on her. You're gonna blame her for not being part of him seen out. Like we've tried so hard, this is all on her.

You're gonna blame her for not being part of your night out. Like girls night with everyone. Yeah. But she, I love it. I just wrote don't go, don't go, don't go, don't go for Ariana, but unfortunately I'm not a vampire and can't write that in my finger on her mirror at home, you know, I'm like don't go.

So next up we go to an artisan cheese gallery. Okay, I have actually been there. It's in the valley, first of all. It is so good. Oh my god. That place is so good. I love the Artisan Cheese gallery. I just don't go there very much because it's like I have to go over the hill. It's so good. I just look. Brittany and Jacks have a Dutch oven at home. I don't know why they need to go all the way to the valley and call it artisan cheese. They're gonna make bread and cheese. Well, that's what we're talking about. Well, that's what was so hilarious about this.

First of all, there are cheese shops that are closer than having to go all the way over to Studio City. Second of all, the reason why they're there is because Brittany wants to make some Kentucky beer cheese. Now, I love me some Kentucky beer cheese. It's like, I love it. I'm a big fan. But

when they said when Britney announced that that she and Jacks are gonna be starting a Kentucky beer cheese company called Mama's beer cheese. Mama I all but like what? Mama. Oh, mamma. That's it. Mama. Mama. Because you're from the east. You're a Yankee. Bama. OK. Sort of like the idea of mama.

No, but mamas. Mamas, beer, cheese. I mean, I literally like, almost fell off the couch. I was like, of course. This is like up there with Jackson's chunky sweater. And the fact that they're like going to the artisan cheese factory, whatever it's called, cheese gallery, to like test some, we're

going to be making some batches, so we're gonna do a cheese tasting. I'm like, come on, we know what you're gonna go get like the Ralph's brand cheddar cheese and put it in your blender, like anyone else does, okay? I'm gonna be so stupid and like, PBR, okay, we all know. She's like, I told MAMO, we're gonna put you on the map. So Jackson's like,

choose to a business. And he's like, you're God, by the way, I'm a job back. He's wiping his nose and they show like a big old snot rag he's got. It shows. Never trust a coke head in your fucking business. What are you doing? Do I have to do everything for you, Brittany,

because I will. Yeah, there's like, sitting there eating their cheese and Jackson's like you said, talking about how we guys job back. He's like, yeah, it's really good to get to be back at the, uh, get to be back at the restaurant and I get to, I get to work with you. I'm like, wow, sound the sound works out about that. Maybe literally, I'm so funny, literally, I'm saying, yeah, but now that you're not a young guy, it's going to get on even with snorfs. I'm saying now that you're my fiance. It's go gal.

Everyone's north. I'm saying like that. Okay. I was thinking rebranding Kentucky beer cheese into Kentucky. Beyonce cheese. Fee yon say cheese. So now when I tell it now when I tell people I'm going to pass my fiance around the room. But won't seem like I'm just having an open relationship and you're cheating with everybody, okay? They can just be in everybody's mouth on purpose.

So this scene is like one of the reasons why I just love this show. I mean, to think that we were even concerned that this season would not be good. Because like you have scenes like these that just like, like leave you just like somehow a mixture of a gas and just like rolling on the floor with laughter. It's sort of like the Kentucky beer cheese of television, right? It's just like an odd mix that just works.

So they start talking about Raquel and Raquel and James and Jack's literally goes, he at least has Raquel is the perfect girlfriend for James because he can get away with whatever he wants and she'll buy it. And he goes, she'll just look really dumb. I'm like, I cannot believe Jackson's saying these words. And the editors are like, you know, fully in on the joke. And they're just like doing these like kind of ways to jacks, you know, or did Brittany like, like, hello, do you see what's going on here, Brittany? Hello, hello. Yes. And she does, but she's like like trying to make you know, it's like Jackson's had 10 years between last season and this

Can we not can we please just all remember that the last Episode of the season was Jack's cooked out at work screaming at Lisa and everybody else and then like running away Royd raged like why are we pretending that he's changed in like six months or whatever it's been exactly and briny She briny tries to have some sort of awareness of the situation. He was I mean, I'm not I'm not comparing it to us because you know with with us That was just like a one-time thing and Jack is like, uh-huh. He's like nods like yeah. Yeah, of course. It's one time Yeah, and she goes yeah, and the difference with west was because you would admit it all but he wouldn't admit it He would never admit it like he admitted it after he was caught on tape. Like, he did not just admit it.

And then Jackson's like, he just uses sorry. Like, it's just another word. I'm like, so when are we going to roll the montage? If you're saying sorry over the past six years for every stupid thing you did. Oh, gosh. She's like, yeah, I'm saying for her. She's like, I don't want her kale to go through this alone.

I want to make sure she can be strong when he's doing those horrible things and he goes, why would you want to be someone? Like, everyone hates your boyfriend. Like, everywhere you go, people are like, kick his ass. I mean, it's just like it's like, it's like, can I even believe it? What year are you, I hear it? And then Jack Jack goes, I mean, I think the mouse falls off the

wheel sometimes upstairs. She's like, oh, you talking about like in her brain, he's like, no, I actually think there's a mouse upstairs on a wheel. I think sometimes it falls over and I can hear it at some midnight. Can you fix that, Brittany? And he's like, you know, like, like if you want to compare us, like, like the difference is, I want to be better like He didn't even want it like. Oh, please

Want to be better, but the other difference is that James could be better, but I can't Yeah, you're both terrible, okay, just like every other man on this show. That's why you're on TV Okay, so it's like yeah, how much you give it past you just because we like their TV show. Yeah, such a prick So then she calls Raquel and Raquel's like that would be really awesome if I could come Are you still there? Yeah, be there Now James is like wiki wiki in over at work Mm-hmm, and he's like and Jackson's someone's ordering a drink from Jackson.

They're like, can we have a vodka great for you? What else? What else besides what's in the grape what else besides the grapefruit work? And Jackson's like, God, how did we ever survive with that Jack's Taylor? Because he doesn't know how to make a vodka good grapefruit. There's two ingredients you idiot. It was, it was funny. I was like, James the dick, but occasionally he can be very funny. When James makes fun of jacks, he's really hilarious when he makes fun of jacks. So that's like an easy target. That's like a strength, you know? No.

So we meet a new host, this her name is Christina, because Tom, Tom and his dad come in and they're like and then the other Tom is then they're all ordering mosquitoes and Jack's is just like talking about his job and he's like it's sort of weird like everything has changed and everything It's sort of like the the machines are different the computers are different I'm just like getting my trying to figure everything out But like I don't think there's a microscope under me because I know how to do my job. I'm like, well, I'm glad there's not a microscope under you because I don't think anyone wants to see what it'll find. Now, if you were under a microscope, that'd be a different situation.

Oh my God. This won't be a bulk of a lift, son of. Oh, it's a microscope. We're in Jackson. It's a microscope under Jackson. So, let's see, oh, I put one to one to because Tom and Tom are talking. So Santa falls like, oh, bro, James, what's up, bro? And two is like, oh, God, I'm so mad. Because James, he insinuated the Katie's fat whereas Jack said he called her fat horns

And the dad like you better nip that in the bud guys He's like, but I'm not good at confronting people, but then on the other hand He insulted the love of my life. So I gotta go talk to him reluctantly he insulted the love of my life. So I gotta go talk to him reluctantly. So he goes over and he's like, Hey, James, you're a mean to Bob. I'm like, I'm sorry, bro, I don't know why I do these things.

And Tom's like, you crossed the line. Kid is not fat. She's sexy and lustrous. He's like, oh yeah, yeah. Now say it too. Yeah, you see one of here, you say it. And then James, then so for like a short moment there, we were starting to like forget the James was such an asshole

earlier this episode and then he goes, everyone's blowing this whole thing, this whole thing up into like one big, huge thing bigger than her. Wolf James and then he continues this one on drunk I'll go to the upside down He's like, yeah, I can dig the self-awareness. Just get your shit together. Okay, great glad we had this talk Do you like my red hair? Do I look like an orphan is her name Annie? Okay, we'll be over there eating did you notice this me red hair? Me neither my shorts is there yeah, Tom shorts got like red hair. I did not notice that. It's a hard night for us, Bappa.

So then the next Trixi Monaco song comes on. It's like, yeah, yeah, a girl's got a work, yeah, yeah, yeah, a girl's got a work, and then it's girls not working. They're going to Girls Night at the club. Yes, everyone's there. It's like old Hollywood themed. Ariana is like doing some sort of like dancing with the star chic outfit. She's like ready to do like a ready to do a tango in the middle of this bar And Katie's like I'm feeling very this Taylor So she's like I'm feeling Grace Kelly

It's like I'm too sluddy to be Grace Kelly. I take Grace Kelly very fucking Oh, guess what Stasi I've decided I hate you again. Sorry Just until appetizers So Stasi's like this is the perfect girls night. We've got stiff drinks Our outfits are on point and I don't have to struggle to hear Everyone talk over the sound of seen as nails on our fucking phone all night Because you know that at that moment she was like at home. You like

Man, where are all my friends? So But where are all my friends? So Meanwhile the guys have decided to do a guys night so Tom Tom Schwartz is cooking in the kitchen and Tom's hand of all comes and he's like dude I got you a shaker because you have one you have a shaker, but be very careful don't drop it See look you got all the like dude I just dropped it Looks like a sex toy.

And I like it. And then Jack's writes a lot of stupid cooler thing trying to make that happen. God bless him. Yeah. And he goes, hey guys, Brittany and I are business owners. We started a cheese company. Oh please mom. I want to say mom was again mamas mamas. She's got beer cheese. Yeah, this is gonna be this is Mamas beer. Jesus is gonna really delight me. I'll see some longer. I can feel it all ready So back with the girls Brittany said um I did text y'all that I was textural K. Oh It's like um, I thought you were joking Well, I was just thinking maybe we could figure it out a little like help her figure it out. Are you been serious? Yeah, she says she's gonna come. And Chris and Katie just look at each other

like I am so mad. So Brittany, yeah, so yeah, Brittany is like I just feel bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because she has no real girlfriends and I don't want her to go along through these things. And you know, James, you know, I really close with James and he's like, though he's like, if he's the one person that I want to just like smack him because we're so close, he might bring the redneck out of me. I'm like, might bring the redneck. The redneck's already out, okay.

You just started a beer cheese company. Mama's, man. I can't say it. This is like you would sell locals. Mama. I have a mimo. She has a mimo, okay? Mimo. Mimo. I just want to say mama. I like mama. So then for Cal comes she's like, DINGDONG! So much just came in. That was me saying hi. They're like, oh hi, Britt. I mean, hi, Raquel. She's like, hi.

And Chris and Katie are just giving her like a really shady dirty look. Oh good to be fair They may have just been like totally confused as to why she was wearing a Flapper dress with a denim coat So anyway, yes, we see a bunch of like bar stool shaking and like pot of plants moving and we see the rainbow come through and she's like I'm here So I was just with James at Cersei Thursdays. And Chris think he saw the job. And Katie's like, um, does anyone have to pee and then all the witches get up and leave? Well, Kate, this is the best part about this is that, like, let's go to the bathroom and

Katie's tossing Chris and stand up and just walk directly to the bar and sit down again like not even a hiding not even pretending to gossip and about it like it's fine we're three feet away from Raquel we're out of her your shot they should have gone to the damn bathroom because Katie's lipstick is on so crooked like someone help Katie you guys could say your Katie's friend. How do you have let her this girl walk around with two and a half inches thick like shiny ass lacquer lipstick crooked on her face? Come on That's it can be a narrative. You've got gumption. Yeah. So they're just keep handing that boy opportunities. Yeah, another night in front of the pizza oven, it's sir. They're really doing him a favor. Yeah, seriously. So then meanwhile back at the booth area, they're the I guess it's it's Brittany and Arianna are left I think talking to Requel and they're basically like, you know, we just don't want you.

Brittany is like, I just don't want you to be blinded by his seat by his cheating and stuff like that whatever and we're gonna say Well, it's funny because I do feel like I've been blinded by his drinking like he doesn't even remember our conversation that we had I was like no no no and that happens. That's him being blinded He's that he you don't get blinded because you don't black out because he doesn't remember So well did you know that he called Katie Fiat? She's like, oh my god, who's Fiat? No, Fiat! Who's that? She has a fiat?

That's cool. I want to drive that. Fiat! He put a fire out. Doesn't that make him a hero? Fiat! Oh, Fiat. Yeah, I did hear them Fiat.

Is that like that Stanley? How does that Stanley get around so many places anyway? And we're Kels like bat when he drinks like that he becomes mean and then the witches return and Katie's like Did I miss anything did I miss any gumption? We're in narratives that were awfully convenient to spew while I was gone Well, Brettney did tell me another rude comment that James said She's like, um, you know what? It's not another rude comment like he went for something so cheap and so low Just hurt me

It's like yeah, but do you feel like you've done that when you drink? He's like, I don't care. He shouldn't do it at all. He's got a temper, OK? And Rickah was like, well, listen, he, they were like, he's got temper and work and turn that he would like unleash that temper on you.

And she was like, he doesn't do it to me at all. Unless he's been drinking or not drinking. And then he gets me a jabs. And it's tossy's like, I feel for her because like, I mean, like I could make a whole mom look about this, but Patrick, so, okay. Actually, listen, as an outsider, Raquel, like, I don't really know you very well,

like, as far as I can tell, you're basically like, a talking snowboard, okay? And like, this is not good. This is not a good look. And she's like, but you don't see the jams that I see. And they're all like rolling their eyes because it's like the most cliche thing someone could say.

She's like, the jams that I see treats me like a queen. Like he's always saying, yeah, queen. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. He's always saying, sing bohemia, rock, seti is again, queens. Just he's always saying,

you better work. I'm like, I'm trying to find a job. And Katie tells us, wow, I feel like I'm in a twilight zone where monsters can do whatever they want. I hate it. I hate to break it to Katie, but monsters can do anything they want. Anyway, that's what makes them monsters. It's not like they're monsters that are like, oh my god, I want to terrorize someone,

but it's just not nice. Yeah, monsters rating permission. Very polite, orderly monsters. Yeah, they're like, I'm a monster, I'm going to rip your fucking head off with my baritite when my number is called. Theoretically. Ding dong. I am going to use your blood out of you when you answer the door and

invite me in and ask me where to put my cup. Hi, this is Charles B monster. I was wondering can I hang on under your bed? No, okay cool, cool. No, that's fine. Have a great night. Thanks so much. Hi, I'm a truck. I was gonna get larger wheels but I don't want to go monster truck unless you think that I'll fit properly in a safe driving area. Okay. Hi, this is Janice monster. I was I hear you have a wonderful closet with a creaky door and I was wondering if no it's take a take oh you put your clothes in there and said okay well have a wonderful night. Thank you so much. Like a monster waiting room. So Katie's like, well, there's no more taking it. I'm going to Lisa at work and telling her, I'm not comfortable.

I'm not going to work in a place where I'm not comfortable. And I was like, your lipstick is so thick and all over the place, Katie. I can say to you right now. You have a lipstick mouth, that's vertical. You actually look like you have a samurai star of room house. So it knows that her cast is in flex right now, right? I mean, they're all about to be 40. They're all possibly going to be arrested at any moment.

So she's really trying to make Chef Joe happen. She's like, Joe, Chef Joe. Let's talk about the specials again. All right, try it from the top. Do it in a song. Tell me what is your innovative special dish? Because you know, here at Sir, we like to change things up every night. Sometimes we'll have a new dish that's available only one night and we call them

specials. So he's like, well tonight's special is Striped Bass and a lemon butter sauce. Whoa! Butter revolutionary concept! Is butter fathening or not, Chef? Tell me the truth and do it in a thong! He goes, no, no, it's not fanting, it's very good for you. It's just fishin' a butter sauce, not fanting at all.

So speaking of monsters in a waiting room, Katie's by the refrigerator, which she knows Lisa will eventually pass So she's like um waiting to talk to you. She's like Mrs. Shwasi dozi Come on in here, but you up to come on we can drop quickly. Oh You okay, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay, Katie, you're scaring me. Congratulations on fulfilling your monster duties. Katie, I give you permission to come out from under that bed and yell in my face, do it! Ah, uh... Katie, I... I'm re-decorating Pandys' condominium, and I'd like to officially invite you to be the monster under her bed. So she's like, um, first and the foremost, you're scaring me! Monster so good!

Now let me ask you Katie, what were monsters like before they were incorporated? I have a question Katie, is it true that your type comes from Vermont? You know I've heard about the Vermontster. Katie, please, tell me about your cousin, the big green monster! Okay, tell me what is happening on Monster Lane. So Katie's like, well, I was out back having a break and James came there clearly drunk and he said and all I said it was like fix your shorts

and he didn't like that and he said don't make me start on you and then he gave me a disgusting stare and said you shouldn't wear those shorts. And she's like, Oh, disgusting little trappy, trappy piece of work. A. Yeah, she was, I don't want you to go back to questioning how beautiful you are. You're a beautiful, beautiful little monster. Well, he's not making me backslide, either into my insecurity or into being nice to

Sheena, okay? I'm making a lot of resolutions this year. That's my little monster. Listen here, Katie. James Kennedy is an idiot. He's like, yeah, but he's an idiot who gets a chance after a chance after a chance. Sirus Day is Lisa. What is Sirus Day is Lisa. What is Sirus Days? Anyway.

Oh, well, it's a day where we hope that Knights come to our restaurant and it's like, oh, look, it's a Sir. Sirus Day. It's a nightmare. Cut witnesses can come have drinks on a Thursday. So Katie's basically like, I'm not going to tolerate James's behavior. And I shouldn't have to show up at work and subject myself to that kind of language and Honestly, she's right. Yeah, she's right. He has no like to stand on and while I don't like Katie being like I Don't like that and I don't like Katie and I'm never gonna like her

I think she's a dick, but she is totally right on this. And James should be fired, that's ridiculous. Like how many chances does he get with this shit? Yeah, my favorite is Lisa going, I don't like anything that makes a woman feel less than herself. Anyway, here are the new uniforms. It's a piece of... Met, floss. Now Katie, go out and buy some vaginal tape for the girls. I mean we

recently rewashed the very first episode of the show. I think it was yeah for our Detroit show or Detroit recap right and the very first episode was that they were like had new uniforms and it was just like basically a cocktail napkin so it's just so fine to me to hear at least. They were

all like oh my god I've got to lose weight to get into this uniform and now these is like I don't like anything that makes woman feel less than herself Good so she's like yeah because if he speaks to me like that he'll be speaking like that to a host or a bus or or Joe or Or butter sauce like I don't know. She's like, I'm sorry. I didn't know how bad he was that day I refused to deal with him because I knew he was on a high from his DJ crap But I'll talk to him now and Katie's like, well, what are you gonna do? Let's ask like well

Women must feel good about themselves. I want women to work here and feel this world of evil. There's a lot of people, sir. I want them to know the joy that comes from working in strange purple lighting and serving fish and butt sauce. Well, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. Okay, I'll tell you what I am am gonna do. This has been my home and my family for nine years. Do you remember that time I held a salt and pepper tray for literally 30 minutes while we were shooting? I mean, really, I'm not willing to work in a place that this is accepted.

And she's like, so, it's in Uttamato. Fultamato. Fultamato. So, Fultipotter. She's like, I've never given an ultimatum except for Tom. And that worked well. So yeah, I'm giving you an ultimatum and it's either him or me. Yeah, and then she said, we see the clip of her giving

that ultimatum to Tom. She's like, six months Tom, that's what you've got. Six months and then within the six months he that's what you've got six months and then within the six months he gave her a ring on a string right or am I getting my just right wrong yeah I think something like that but it ultimately did work they did they got married so I don't think she has to wait this long for for James to get fired yeah so it looks like they're gonna get their way I don't know how they would, uh, how they, you can't keep your mind employed. I mean, well, it's also on top, on top of the fact that he has had like,

like, like, like a, like a long list of people he's insulted, especially women who work there. He also just like cannot control his booze while he's working. And so like, there's no good reason for him to stay. I'll get a playbook next week when he's like Please so I never do it again Lisa. I'll never even be no Please, I'm going back to ice cream. I'm going back to ice cream. We've heard that so many times like typical get it together Do yeah seriously? I love this No one on this show is innocent and there's a laundry list of people Katie's been absolutely horrific to.

I wish we had like a clip to just play back of her and all the Lala shit she said before Lala started letting people go on her PJ or whatever. Like she's been a monster too, but there's a difference, you know, like there's lines you don't cross. You don't just go in and start calling women fat all the time. Like this is so gross dude. Yeah. It's convenient narrative though.

Convenient. You know what? That is Comtion right there. So everybody that brings us to the end of this Saka. We will be back Wednesday with a little below deck and later today with a little real housewives of Atlanta, Mary to Medicine. And go get some live show tickets. They are on sale over at WatchUpCrafts.com

to scroll down to the calendar. And you will also find links for T-shirts there. Go ahead, Ben. I was gonna say, if you're wondering, hey, where's the top chef recap? It's gonna be on our bonus episode this week. It's gonna be a good one. I can guarantee it.

Yes, and then this Friday will be our first full-length top chef recap. Yeah, thanks for your patience everyone. We will talk to you guys later. Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. wundry.com slash survey.