Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Baths & Showers

Episode Date: November 14, 2017

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" started this week with a bath and ended with a shower. And in between there was all sorts of hilarious stuff. Come join us for the recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens with like to think it's premium sponsors! Kelly Grant, The Grant Master! Cindy Berges-Gurson, What an amazing person!

Just saying, Okay! Kelly Barlow, When she goes Barlow, We go High-Lo! Jason Andrews, The King of the Upside Down Twitter Pick, and Kristi D'Awardy, the OG Prem-Supreme. Watch what crap bins, watch what crap bins, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins. Poppins, poppins, to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends.

And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hi everybody, welcome to watch what crap ends. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the banjo blender podcast. And joining me as usual is the wonderful and hilarious and hopefully perhaps sobered out now after our big weekend in Mexico. Ronnie Carram from trashtalktv.com

and the Rosebrook Spatchup Podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well, hello, I didn't have to sober up. I'm not a drinker of any kind. I'm happy being sober, guys. I mean, I feel like I'm barely sober now after that weekend. Oh my God, I came home. I mean, I feel like I'm barely sober now after that weekend. Oh my God, I came home.

I was like, hello home. And I got some Tylenol PM and I crushed them up. Like I was gonna fucking make a shake. And I put them in some water and drink it like a cocktail. I slept my ass off. I woke up this morning like, wow, I'm still here. I crawled out of my little cocoon. I had wings on.

I'm no longer a caterpillar darling. Now I'm a moth. I'm a moth. The beautiful depressing moth, darling. Yes. Formerly a gypsy worm, but now I'm off. He tells stories on on PR. But the the last stories kept came in and the same outfit is jicky telling the end. Thank you for coming.

We're talking like these a Vanderpump today because we went to a fabulous wedding. Katie, because of her, uh, from East Second Wives club got married and we love that batch. And so we went to her wedding in Mexico. And we got to see Tom and Ariana and laughed our asses off with them all weekend. So of course we came back talking like Vanderpump rules people. Yeah, it was a great, it was a great, great time and we are somehow still functioning. We made it through the weekend without getting the Eileen Davidson disease,

aka Montezuma's revenge, AKA Diary All the Time. AKA just trying to make Linda Lisa Rinne a screaming people that she doesn't like. We did not unfortunately corner Lisa Rinne by a lamp and accuser of saying things about Kim Richards, but we should have reenacted that moment. I don't know why we didn't do that, but it was. Also, we should have reacted, reenacted the moment

of Lisa Rinne just going crazy and doing sex dances on a table on a boat, but we never got to the boat. We were supposed to go to a brunch on a boat on the very last day, but everyone was like, yeah, we're all going to barf if we knew that. So cancel. Yeah, there were a lot of things we didn't quite get to do. But it was really fun. And it was our first little like man and Ronnie weekend, like international weekend trip that we ever did.

So we are now here, somehow like, paste it together with tape and glue. And we're ready to podcast. But there is something even more exciting to announce, which more exciting than us having gone to Mexico, which is that our, watch our crap and online store is up. And if you are pining for a watcher crap and t-shirt or a wine glass or a shot glass, it's as easy as

can be, just go to watchacrapants.com and you can see links right there. And you can order just real quick. It's not a it's not a shot glass. It's a pint glass. But we will probably get more shot glasses because people love those. And we've had the fine glass. Yeah, it's a fine glass, but we will probably get more shot glasses because people left those and we've had the fine glass Yeah, it's a fine glass and we've had this stuff at the shows at the live shows and we've sold so much of it So on Amazon is basically what we've got left So we're gonna see how people order that stuff so get it now because it's limited and then we'll replenish it around Christmas time

But we see how well it does. Oh, it is a pint glass. I don't know why I thought it was a shock glass. Yeah, uh, as an owner of the wine glass and the pint glass, they're both actually just very good glasses in general. And what's really cool is that since this is fulfilled through Amazon, it's their Amazon Prime, which means you can order it and it'll be to you in like a day or two and for prime members it will probably be free shipping. So you know, that's better than I think. You know, if you, I waited like two weeks to get my, my, my tote bag from Luan. So here you can get it in like two days.

So yeah, here it's not really left up to us. Now getting it packaged and sent to Amazon took eight zillion years, but you guys didn't have to worry about that. So don't worry about it. It's all there for you. Yeah, we have three items now, but you know, we may build that out as we're experimenting in this world. We don't really know what we're doing, really half the time. Let alone when we're making merchandise. So, you know, for right now, we got these three. There might be other things coming down the line. Keep an eye on it. We'll let you guys know whenever there's something new in the store.

Yeah, so you can just search, watch what crap is on Amazon, but the link is also on our page. And you can see everything we have in stock. I'll watch what crap is.com. Yeah, it's super easy. And please show us. Also, this week's bonus episode will be married to medicine,

recap, but we'll also be talking about our trip to Mexico. So if you want to hear more about that, just go over to Patreon and do it, okay? Yeah, and another note about our trip to Mexico. So if you want to hear more about that, just go over to Patreon and do it, okay? Yeah, and another note about our website. We had previously had a player that was up there that you could listen to the podcast with, but that player was janky and it was slowed everything down, slowed everything down.

And so we had to delete that player. But if you still want to listen to the episode that our show through like the website whatever, we do have a link on our website where you click on that. It'll just take you to our ACAST page. So when you come to WatchUpCrapins.com, you'll see in the upper right hand corner, it'll say, listen now, and that listen now floats along with you as you scroll down the page. And so when you are ready to indeed listen now, just click on it and it'll pop up.

We'll take you there. So it's very simple, very easy. Just makes you want to hug yourself, huh? Yes, and people are always asking how to download that because there's not an actual button that says download. Just right click on the link on the podcast episode link that we send over social media. Just right click on it and choose save this, save a link or save downloaded file or whatever or download linked file or whatever

and it'll save it. Broke in link darling. Brick in link. Of course we might as well say now would be a good time if you haven't subscribed to us to subscribe because that's nice too. Yeah, then you won't have to deal with any of that crap But we'll just pop up on your phone or wherever the hell you are It'll we gotta teach you everything. It'll just it'll just arrive

Mimic her it'll just arrive like Porsche and her brand new Rolls Royce No, didn't she have that last year too? I can't tell I feel like everyone on Bravo just upgraded to a Rolls Royce that they can't afford. I wonder if she calls it even a Rolls Royce. I feel like she's just like, RERVAR. I'm getting into my RERVAR. She has a RERVAR. A RERVAR. A RERVAR.

I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR.

I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERVAR. I like my RERV come and go, but Rava is everything. She's like, I like my cat because it's spelled the way it sounds. Can you put on the. Why you still call it these stop signs instead of Rava sign? I just bought myself a new. time. I just bought myself a new error. So last week, real housewives of Atlanta began and it was so action packed that we didn't get the taglines at the beginning. We got them this week. Okay, everybody. We certainly did. It opened up. Nini got the opening line. She was there. She goes 10 years in the game and I'm still the tastiest peach in the game.

Did I say that right? Was it like that 10 years in? They was 10 years in and I'm still the tastiest peach in the game. I'm like, maybe the tastiest peach, but you must be out of season because you weren't on this episode. No kidding. Your peach game is not very strong right now. Okay, ma'am. And excuse me, ma'am, we all know the tastiest peach is actually princess If she weren't tasey, she wouldn't be getting abducted every two seconds by Bowser. Do you imagine Bowser trying to abduct Neenie? She just be it. She wouldn't even bother to jump over the fireballs. She just start yelling at him. She can't hit by her fireball and be like, listen here, you stupid hoe. I'm not

She can't hit fire fireball and be like, this in here you stupid hoe. I'm not, she's just like, I'm leaving. Like she can't get out of Bowser's castle. She's just like, I'm leaving. He says it back. She's gonna talk over me. She just starts reading Bowser. How about we talk about two years ago Bowser?

How about two years ago you went after Princess Ginger Bowser? How about two years ago you would like a brother to me Bowser? I felt extremely lazy that I didn't write down all of these tag lines. So I was like, okay, I'm going to look them up on the internet. You know why write them all down? So I'm looking up, nobody wrote them down. I wrote that.

I wrote that. You did? Everybody just like put up the video that Bravo released. Like, oh yeah, I found it. You know who I'd like to thank right now. Their name is Bustle. Thank you, Bustle. Bustle is great Their name is Bustle. Thank you Bustle. Bustle is great. No Bustle has given us some love before so we're giving the love back to Bustle.

I'm going to go read Bustle.com. Read Bustle.com. Thank you for taking down these things so I didn't have to because these are really bad taglines. This year is not this is the strongest tagline game especially for Atlanta who has the best sound bites out of any housewives show. I agree. I think they really phoned these in. Oh, by the way, since we're giving Bustle Shadow, can I give a shout out to Philip, who's one of our listeners who spotted me in sprouts today, and was like, oh my god, are you been from Watcher Crapins? I was browsing Chipotle peppers in the Hispanic food aisle. Where are you carrying your blue ant tote? in the Hispanic Pugile. Where are you carrying your blue antote?

No, of all the days, I almost did, and inside I carried my CB2 tote. And I was so excited about being recognized that I forgot to buy chicken, which is the whole reason why I went to Sprouts. I was like, oh my God, I was recognized. I just walked out on like a cloud of ego, puffery, and now I have to go back to Sprouts.

So if anyone wants to see me, I'm going back to Sprouts. I would like to thank Philip for writing down all of these tag lines. Thanks Philip for Sprouts. So here's the one that I thought was really bad, which was also the next one in the order. Porsche, friends come and go, but family is forever. That's like very generic. There's like nothing that sounds like it's a line from an 80s sitcom theme song.

Friends come and go but family is forever because we're living the life together. Family and friends and friends of family living the life. It's just RR is in every every ending of every line. It's porous to succumb living the life. Family is everything. It's especially awkward because then her sister moves in because she's fighting with her the father for child. Did you not just hear this tagline? Family's everything, go home. Family's forever until you decide to leave it and move in. Really, really, really, really. Then Cynthia's is age is just a number,

but these cheekbones are timeless. So here's what I thought was funny about that. A, that we had families forever and cheekbones are timeless. So there's like a sense of eternal. There's an internal quality to these taglines so far. But also- So let's numbers in these taglines, like I don't wanna think about math,

and also guess what Cynthia, your cheekbones have a number and they're 50. Okay? We just saw your birthday again. And I just feel like cheekbones, I mean she has obviously amazing cheekbones, but I never feel like that's like the thing with Cynthia that everyone's like, oh, it's not like we've spent the past three seasons talking about the cheekbones.

And there wasn't like an ongoing thing about the cheekbones. It just seems, I don't know, again, generic. Yeah, like she doesn't know her brand, although to hand it to her, her first season, she did get married in a dinosaur museum that was all bones. So there you go. At least she's kind of sticking with it. She's like, age is just a number, but dinosaurs are dead still, but I'm Cynthia and I'm single and I may be 50, but I still like bad. What's your time, darling? Age is just a number, but bathwater is timeless. I feel like what could have been something like I may be 50, but I keep it 100. Oh, that's so easy to see that's like more of a specific clever thing. In fact, Bravo just change it now. It's not too late.

I may be 50, but I keep it 100 hundred. And then the picture they show on Buffle, Buffle, Bussel is a gift of Cynthia just like wagging her finger. Cynthia, like it's amazing how little Cynthia adds, but I'm still glad she's around. Like, hey, it's Cynthia, it's Cynthia in a bathtub. Like, what show is she on?? Like what's she even think she's shooting? She's like, okay, here's what I need, child. These are romantic music and some soap. And she's the lemon sorbet. And a full. She's the lemon sorbet and a nine course meal. You know, perfectly nice, but not really what you came for.

And cheekbones are not forever in a lemon sorbet. You've got, can I have a lemon sorbet with cheekbones that are timeless? Yes. This one melted. I may be 50, but sorbet. You've got, can I have a lemon sorbet with cheekbones that are timeless? Yes. This one melted. I may be 50, but sorbet is timeless until it melts. So. Now it's just a sticky puddle on the floor.

Which I actually kind of. Child, you'll never forget me. Okay, so next one is Kenya. Well, some are the same. No, candy. Candy was next. I have Kenya. Well, bust next one is Kenya. Candy. Candy was next. Oh, I have Kenya. Well, Bustle, this is them wrong. I resend by thank you to Bustle. Bustle, you should be named Hassel. Bustle is not Timeline, so. Well, they're postmodern. They're rearranging the timeline.

Okay. So who's next? Andy? No, no, no. Don't mess with the boss, because you might get fired. That's like again. I don't know. I mean, she has the boss. She has the boss. I mean, what is Donald Trump now the fucking housewife of Atlanta? Like, that's Donald Trump's reality show line.

You're fired. I know, exactly. Don't mess with the boss. Are you? Maybe. But You're fired Okay, the apprentice how about just cuz I'm the boss doesn't mean I can't serve you Right That's good except maybe she tried that but Saray was like excuse me. I already took the server line

What is this fan of puproos? Oh shit, you're right. You actually are right What is this? Fandertoproos? Oh shit, you're right. You actually are right. Sure is right. I have something to say about that shure thing when we get to it. But yes, you're right. Well, it could as you'd be like, see? See? No. Really?

Can't escape the fact that I'm your boss. I don't know. There's no escaping me. There's no escaping. Oof. The only thing in my sex dungeon It's sex no the lies the lies So who's next is Kenya next yes, okay, Kenya's like well some are saying I can't I was saying I do

Kenya better no, it's not. And also people still say, yeah, okay. Yeah. Not much change there. Kenya's, I can't wait to start talking about Kenya today because what is she talking about? And Cynthia's like, well, you know, Kenya, it's always trouble with Kenya because no one believes

that her men are even real But now she's gonna show them She has show them by not showing him at all So Shiree is getting back to you where Shiree says Call me bad server because I always spoke to you now. That's kind of funny But I felt like after all the bone collector talk from last season, this would be I thought like there's gonna be something about bones Like I'm not here to pick a bone. I'm here to bring you on I may be a bone collector, but that doesn't mean I will need your wings I'm trying to think of things with bones

I got I can think of because I'm starving. It's chicken wings. Like the literally all I'm not right now is chicken bones. When I connect to my neck bone, like no, it's not charay. Okay. She's like getting all her bones connected wrong. I mean, the biggest thing here was that Saray, who I love Saray, but Saray claiming that she could be about or she could even be a server Saray would never be a server that is a very difficult job Okay, I know people give servers a lot of shit including me, but that is a difficult job. Saray is not gonna be as hello

I'm Shrey. Okay, I'll be right back. She'll just never come back It'll be like where's my drink order. She's like, hi, I'm Shrey. Your neckbone is connected to your neckbone. Okay, here's the check. Wait a minute. I was just, you got neck bones. You got neck bones? You got thab bones? You got knee bones? You got paste for bones?

Last week, last my day when we recorded Atlanta, Ben was over here because his internet wasn't working and we were loopy because we had just come back from parting in San Francisco all week. This week we're loopy again because we're just back from Mexico. I know it sounds like we're world travelers you just get drunk every single weekend but I'm sorry because it's just gonna be another episode of me laughing like an old-as- fat lady. No, it's fine. I actually, like, forgot I was podcasting for a second because when you were doing the

whole neckbone, came to the neckbone thing, I was just sitting here laughing and I was like, oh shit, I'm supposed to say something. I'm here too. But just neckbone, other neckbone, come to my neckbone. You got some tea? I just think that there's gotta be a better bone line for her. Got to be there's got to be some sort of great bone like Like my house is finished and what they say about my finished house. It's got great bones because on the bone collector You know something like smoother than that. I can't even come up with anything smoother because I'm just imagining Siree walking around a chile's with a tray

spilling tea Just imagining Siree walking around a chile with a tray. Spelling tea. That's the thing, she's not a server, so I don't understand. I mean, I like the idea of spilling tea, but like, when you're around me, you should wear an Appian, because I'm always spilling the tea. I don't know. I feel like, instead of spilling the tea, they should've gone with bones. We'll have to hear for ten seasons, and that's because I'm called bones. What else did we get everybody? Yeah, that's it.

Somehow that is actually everyone. Oh my gosh. So that actually begins with, have you noticed that Todd is getting smaller and smaller? He is actually getting, he's Benjamin butting. He is just like feeding Ace all of his spiritual spiritual inches. It's like where are you going? I was like, hi, hi, I'm going to work. And he's like, all right, baby, text me something nasty. And she just like the music stops and she's like, oh, Nasty. Mmm, Master! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It doesn't mean I don't have a bone. It's like Shrey, what? Are you finishing that because I would like to suck on that bone? Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh,

Really stupid. So Shrey is with Kyrone, she's like, Kyrone, you got pancakes? Yeah, little boy. He's like, yeah mom. And she's like, that's a thick pancakes pancakes they almost look like a pancake version of a bone Pancake bones there it is Ah hop international house of pancake bones I'm a M. Chateau Sirei. Ah hop international chateau of pancake bones. I cop I may have a sad storyline this season, but don't you dare play a Trump bone.

You got Trump bone? You got Trump bone? Are you in the orchestra? Because I certainly see a lot of Trump bone. So Kenya is with her dogs as she will be in every scene this year because that's Kenya's house wife stuff. It's always someone with their wife or something and then Kenya like, King, look at my email. This is my laptop. Try it.

Thanks for showing up to work today, Kenya. Yeah. You're adding a lot. And Cynthia, meanwhile, has poured herself into a pool doing some vintage Mariah Carey Cribs meets a Shade video thing. Taking a bubble bath for no good reason by her pond. We had porn music playing. Yeah. And she's, I mean, it's the most ridiculous scene and it was amazing. I was laughing so fucking hard at Cynthia in the bath. It's like, bam, bam, bam. She's like well although I'm 50 and single child it doesn't mean I don't

want to be at my lake with squirrels nuts you know snakes leaves leaf lowers I just want to look clean I want to be clean I got a hot day at my kitchen island later today. I'm excited about the possibilities, child. And then they just show her posing in the math. Yeah. So then we go over to Portia's house where Lauren, who's her sister Lauren and Lauren's kid have come over because they are gonna be moving in with Portia because things are, they're figuring out

some sort of new configuration with the baby daddy, which means that they're breaking up. Yeah, pretty much and she's she's leaving the dad and moving in with Porsche and she said, girl, people ask me what I'm doing with this house and this is what I say, space is normal for me. What? What are you even talking about? Yeah, I had no I was just concerned because before learn walked in and I saw moving boxes everywhere no I was just concerned because before Lauren walked in and I saw moving boxes everywhere. I was like, did Porsche move to another house again? Like how many asked this girl have to go through? But then I realized it was the same house, just

that Lauren was moving in. Which I'd like to admit when I'm wrong. Which is like at least once a week. And last week I said Porsche would not keep this house from more than a season. She would just kick that because she would never pay her rent. I feel like Portia is one of those girls to get the check and be like $10,000. It's like she's that girl in her mind to misplace a comma, you know. She gets, she gets very overwhelmed by numbers. $10,000. $10,000. Many acts. This is scary CD. Our family places a little far away from it.

That's it. But it's only $100 a month. It's like a way to move it. It's in Tucson, Arizona. I gotta get my money. I'm gonna pay by pesos. So I like thinking in Mexico was I'm almost as dumb as Portia like imagine Portia trying to figure out pesos Wait a minute this enchilada with 250 pesos What the hell my house is only a hundred dollars

Every time I try to pay something over Mexico. I'm like how much is it? They're like 500 pesos. I'm like okay okay, pay so what? Like no, pay so's, I'm like, pay so what? That's my little Porsche Williams currency bit. My epicest fellow, epicest fellow, Porsche. Who's that first? What's that second? Pay so on third.

Dearest Pulitzer Board, please mark this time. Go down. Yes. This will be our official submission for the Webbees. And for any of you wondering if we're going to be in the now here that podcast festival next year, this will also be our submission for that. So you're welcome. See you at the Javits Center. So, uh, she is giving like the house rules and she's like, don't just walk in my door. You got a knock because somebody's watching poor and have, um,

which I don't care what anybody says. I love Portia. I will always love Portia. She makes me laugh my ass off the whole time. I don't care what she does wrong. And everybody's always gossiping every season like, oh, she got kicked off in the middle of the season. They fired Porsche. No, they won't. And you can tell they won't because the entire show is just her talking heads pretty much like 80% of this episode was her. It really is. And to be fair,

she wasn't saying that she would be watching in Pornhub as Molly. She was like, don't walk into my room. And then Lauren was like, um, you're the one who walks into my room and she's like, well that's because you have to be watching Pornhub or something. Of course, it's like, don't touch Yoda. Don't touch Yoda. Who said that?

Who said that? Who knocked on that? Who knocked on that? Yeah, I already met some after brulas. You can't walk on white fur. What does not white fur, okay? That is called shag carpeting them. Okay. Oh goodness. So she starts gossiping with her family because she literally goes at the end of the day, friends come

and go, but the consistent thing in my life is going to be my family. I'm like, okay, okay, we got it. So she's in the kitchen with her family as promised. Yeah. And her mom's just eating tomatoes out of a Tupperware or something. And she's just updating everybody with all the gossip and stuff. And she's talking about how Nini won't cop to that fight in the minute. Nini is like, I don't want to talk about things that are three weeks old. So she just walked out. And then they show the clip again of her going, freak and fron honey, that's who needs to go. And I think that was it in this one, right? Yeah, that's pretty much. They're just sort of reminding us what the recent hub hub was.

But what I would like to know more important than anything is, what happened to Hot Todd? Is he coming back? Did they break up? Can we have more hot Todd? Hot Todd is on her Instagram, so I think he's still around. I just saw him the other day on there. I want to have hot Todd. He's like, hot Todd. People are like, where can I buy your hot Todd?

It's like, you can't buy him. They're like, who? I'd like to drink that on a night where I have a cold. He's like, how dare you? Stay away from my man. Didn't someone just suggest that you have a cold. How dare you stay away from my main. Didn't someone just suggest that you have a hot toddy? I feel like someone just told you to have a hot toddy. I have cold toddies, okay?

This is called just drinking from a bottle, and then praying. Just a general phrase. Trader just $6 pot kittades, okay? So we then cut to Cynthia, who is walking into a random construction site where there are chickens outside. And inside as well.

And inside. It was very random and it turns out that Cynthia was meeting a date named Evan and I was like this guy is smooth because he knows that she's still used to the conditions under which Peter likes to keep her. Something that's under construction, a little unseemly, there may be chickens and health good violations. That's what really turns into the on. There's nails sticking up out of the floor

and like, you know, stairs from 1932 that are just wood and nailed together. He's already like spent her money to buy like a decrepit warehouse that's under a bridge. She's like, I think I'm in the wrong space, child. I see coffee cans with this man's face taped to them. It's just Peter with a wig. Evan's brew. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So yeah, Cynthia meets up with Evan, who's this guy that she's gone on a few dates with,

and he's like, well, hello. Let me put on a blindfold for you. So already I was kind of like jarred because normally when people like Cynthia go on a blind date, the whole episode leads up to it like, cha, I'm going to dip this guy. I don't know how I feel about it. Cha, I guess I could put myself out there. Cha, okay, I'm going to do it. And then like, they go on the date.

But here it's like, we were just starting on the date. So he, he's like, I got a blindfold you trust me right? She's like it's only the fourth date had But I'm not opposed to blindfolds, but you know these damn animals running around the last thing I need is a blindfold Yeah, she could use a lot of things really I just had to pause to cough my ass off. What are you even talking about Cynthia? No. She's not a bath. So this guy is trying really, really hard and it's too much.

And he obviously just wants to be on TV. And frankly, it's gross to watch him. I didn't like him. I got a major slide back by him off this guy. I did too because he's like, surprise. We're going to do a surprise photo shoot, which is funny because that appeals to like, Cynthia's model narcissism,

but really it's kind of like, oh, you're just some random dude who has kind of tricked a supermodel into being your subject and I can tell everyone, oh yeah, I've shot Cynthia Bailey. You know, I was like, I see what you're doing because normally she probably charges a good amount of money to do a photo shoot

and you're just like, surprise, our date is me taking photos of you to put in my portfolio. Thanks. Yeah, and also surprise, I get to advertise my own photography business on your show. You'll skink. She's like, well, I just want to make sure he's here for me. Like yeah, which is why he waited until you had a whole camera crew to come into his barely put together, dilapidated ass farmhouse in the middle of nowhere to take your picture. waited until you had a whole camera crew to come into his barely put together to lapidate and ask farmhouse in the middle of nowhere to take your picture. And she takes off the blindfold and you I love that even though he's totally appealing to her the proper way because obviously he watches the show but she's so

mad that he messed up her eyelashes. Yes. And it's really hard for her to hire. She's like, well, that's your prize. Wow. Yeah, she's like dabbing them. Oh, this is a surprise. Having my makeup ruined after me putting it on for three hours, that is a surprise. She goes, those photos are beautiful, chat. And he's like, of course they are.

Bear of you. Yeah. Dun dun dun dun. And she goes, she's like, he's like Norbert with swag. I was like, I don't think those two words go well together. He's just like Norbert with some weight loss. Let's face it. Norbert with swag.

Norbert with swag is called Eddie Murphy. Just say it's Eddie Murphy, but he's not. He looks like, um, to Honey Jones. Oh, so Cynthia does her normal, Cynthia does her normal thing on a date, because I feel like she said this on dates before where she's like, all right, Chad, here's to you, not following for me and me, not following for you. Is that your line?

It's like the least romantic line ever, but she's used it. And he's apparently 29, which was surprising to me. I thought he was definitely older. I mean she thought he was 31 but I was like I thought he was like I thought he was 39 or 40. And people who have better knowledge of hair because I haven't had it for a very long time. Does he have a lace front?

Yes or no? I could not say that's his hair. You know I did ask my boyfriend and I was like that. The thing at the very front of his hair is driving nuts. He said it was baby hair. So I guess maybe that's like a thing that happens when your hair is like that and like You just need it to like maybe you need to like get that taken care of but yes, it was driving nuts too. It was driving nuts So let's go over to charay. Who's at a city bank trying to get alone? At least that's what it looks like I'm like where are we? Why is, why is Sirea at the bank loan place? Sirea was in fact going to see her life coach named

Jack Daniels. And I think anytime that Jack Daniels is informing decisions in your life, it's bad news. Yes. And you know, of course, she points out that it's not the Jack Daniels. She didn't meet him at a bar. And I was like, where did you meet him? Because he's making you sit in like a city bank waiting Area seat. It's like this uncomfortable seat and what they tell Saray. Oh, please wait here for Dr. Jack Daniel She's like, huh, well, hmm. Okay. Well, oh, okay. I guess I'll just be sitting in his chair wait for Jack Daniels Okay, it's all mad He has a glass office. It's like a big glass cubicle. It looks like a bank.

I'm telling you, I don't know. He's like, come in here. Please feel free to show your emotions. I'm like, no, I'm not going to feel free. What is this? A fucking rentist space? What are those calls? Were you rent in your office? We work. Yeah. What is this a we work? Come on. Well, to be fair, I don't think many life coaches are really like rolling in the money Think you'd be lucky even to have a shared workspace Yeah, she's lucky. It's not in a star-buck. She's like I have to tell you about the trauma I've been through is there chocolate chip in the strappuccino? Can I turn in my 125 stars to get a free advice session?

This one my name wrong, not this cut. And it's some drama. So she is... They spelled... Surefy. I don't know who Surefy is. I'm like a boner-china, please. They spelled my name like show react Dashloo

They even split out her full name. How do you get that who's our who's our out Dashloo? You got show react Dashloo you got show react Dashloo So she's a star but for Risto who is a huge fan of Iranian cinema. So she's there to talk about Bob. Bob, what about Bob? Bob, I came to a therapist say what about Bob? He's like I love that movie Bill Murray what a classic. No, you know Julei Agarty, you know Julei Agarty? I may be 50 but what about Bob is Thomas. You know Julie Agri, you know Julie Agri?

I may be 50, but what about Bob is Thomas? It's funny because what about Bob is about a therapist. Yeah, you see so Jack she's like, I don't know I've got this baggage and it won't open and it's really heavy when I go to the airport They try to charge me $50. I don't want it. I need a lighter. He's like baby steps baby steps read my book baby steps You got any Mac. Oh, Sandy Mac. No, it's it's Julie Haggardy Uh, I think it's Nancy Travis. Maybe is in that. I you know more Nancy Travis like every time we bring up a Nancy Travis movie I call her like somebody else and he McDowell, what Andy McDowell is in Groundhog Day. Yeah. But it's, it's really high-gritty and Richard Dryface and then a variety of, um,

other people will never remember. Yeah. So Sharay, uh, it's basically there to talk about Bob and Jack, back to Ann, it's just like, now look, I'm not afraid of tears. She's like, you afraid of baseball? You afraid of baseball? Show me on the baseball, baseball. No, we're just making a bunch of stupid jokes

because they're a, a few season fine. No, it's actually, and it was actually like of it. It's, these scenes were actually very, they were sad. They were sad and they were powerful, you know, Shrey, she basically started tearing up were powerful, you know, Shreye. She basically started tearing up and, you know, for those of you who don't remember last season at the reunion, Shreye admitted that Bob, you know, there's a lot of abuse in their relationship.

It kind of tumbled out during that trip last year. And she never really addressed it. She didn't address it with the kids and apparently it's been this albatross that's been, you know, around her neck or hanging on whatever it's like. And she's like, I just felt bad for her. I mean, other than the Bob stuff, because, you know, I get everything. So like, I already felt bad for that last year. And I didn't forget, but this year I'm like, oh my god, it's new again. Now I refill bad. But when she said that she never told her kids and she's, they've never asked her and she's never talked

about it, it made me feel bad all over again. So I'm like, well, she loves her kids and she's they've never asked her and she's never talked about it. It made me feel bad all over again. So like, well, she loves her kids and they don't even watch her show. Like, that's so sad. Like, can we get some support in this family? Come on. Yeah. Well, I mean, basically when it sounds like this was shot only a few weeks after the reunion and she's basically like, okay, they kind of know about it now.

So I need to address it. And she needs to address it anyway, even if they didn't know about it. And she starts to cry and jack the ounces like, don't be afraid of the tears. And she's like, I don't want to cry. Don't want to cry. You come right, you come right. So next step is, can you send the walking dog walking the little dogs? And sent to you like, did you invite? Did you invite these dogs to the wedding? I know how they feel. Thought I'd be invited. I wasn't about it. I was in a bath. When I heard about it.

Yeah, Cynthia's basically a little bond because she's like, I thought that once I got single, you know, I can't even know how to just like be like wingman to each other and go out and date together and find got my gods together now Kenny's got a man and I got a lake. And I'm not sure who won but I have a feeling that neither will ever be completely paid for. Yeah. I also resent the fact that uh lake the Cynthia Bailey has taken ownership of that lake because there are many people on that on that lake before you and you just came and just took over the lake, and that's not fair. It's not fair. It's timeless. Also, she's got a leaf blower.

And also, I do think Cynthia will pay off that lake, because Cynthia is very responsible. I just wanted to make a Kenya paying for a man joke. So sorry that I fell on my face right at this lake cast. I'm so embarrassed. There. So Kenya, of course, is talking about how she's on the cloud. Nine, and did it really happen?

Did I really get married all that stuff? And we hear all this stuff about how Kenya met her husband through chef Robla of all people and chef Robla said come to this restaurant and she went and she went and she makes it sound like the Christmas story. She's like, I'm never felt like this. I was led to amazing restaurant in Brooklyn. It's like you weren't led by the North Star, okay? Like God didn't knock somebody up at a restaurant for you to bring my two Kenya The ghost of Zagat's past so

Kenya So so Kenia was saying how like she met the guy But like they didn't it wasn't until month later that they started to date because I wasn't in the right head space And I needed to do a lot of work on myself. I'm like you just need to get new garage windows, didn't you? And it's also been like two weeks Can you guys trying to make it sound like it's been all these months that she's been working on herself and all this Def is been going so cute guys just stop shooting for I think a month. Yeah, can you and she's like Yeah, my husband's ever overwhelmed because he's very private.

I'm like, yes, no one is more private than people who own restaurants. Most private people of all, they hate when people know about them and their establishments. I know, private people hate opening restaurants with celebrity chefs. And the dating reality stores.

And Kenya's like trying to pretend she's so sensitive to his needs while she says things like, well, my husband is overwhelmed because he's very private, but now to be on blogs internationally, it's just too much. I'm like, okay, French Vogue. Vlogs are naturally worldwide. It's literally called the worldwide web. And then Cynthia comes up with her great, Cynthia advice. She's like, well, girl, even haters got take nap sometimes. Like what? Haters take a bath. Let me just let me go.

When I got married with Peter, I was, I took a bath in it. Like literally, I was taking a bath. Oh, okay. You know the expression road hard and put away wet? I'm like, be it hard and put away wet. I'm like, leaf lowered hard, put away wet. I'm like, be it hard and put away wet. I'm like, leaf blowered hard and then, taken a bath wet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm like, walked around with the chicken's hard and put away wet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. By the way, I was walking in this, this farm has the other day for a photo shoot where I was blindfolded and I stabbed myself in the foot with the rusty nail. Am I turning green? Or is tetanus forever? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. for a photo shoot where I was blindfolded and I stabbed myself in the foot with the rusty nail and my turn in green.

Or is tetanus forever? I may be 50 but my vaccinations are timeless. I may be 50 but TBS forever. Now excuse me I'm just gonna be quiet for a moment. Lockjaw setting in. Oh. She's bleeding out of her eyes. And literally like her arc is the same even though she can't talk anymore. It's like her just standing over the kitchen island, staring at food. It's what all models led to like, I think models just dream of lockjaw at some point. So, Shamiya and Candy, what are we talking about?

Shamiya and Candy are now at, I said Shamiya and Candy meeting up at Tastor. No, they're at a store. Oh, they're shopping for Shamiya's wedding. Shamiya is having a wedding at Kenya, not Kenya more, but Kenya the country. And which I think is the joke they made on the show in some form. I'm sure they did. She's like, I won't be able to attend Kenya, the country. Not more manner.

So, Shami is like, hey, I can't eat. I want you to dress up in African garb and candy. Candy is like, you don't tell me that. Ah! Say no. Raleigh. Can't get an African god because she's in teenager. She's embarrassed to be like that in a dash cheeky.

I wasn't thinking to do any of that. Well, we was gonna put on some sex jeans, but I could rip up the cheeky. Now, Candy, you would think would be the first one who would be into it for whatever reason. Like, Candy sounds like she'd be down with an African garb wedding. She's a one you had an African wedding, okay?

Yeah. Has lions that are damn wedding? I don't think she ever paid for it still, but she did. And then- Don't you dare take Johnny's side. Don't you dare take Johnny's side if that's where this is going. But then she's like, well, and she goes to try something on. And she comes out with a white knitted sweater

from anthropology, how did you even find that in the store? She's like, I'm gonna take this crystal torn up. I just think that, and a smitten kitchen cookbook. I think, I just think that like at this point, Candy is sick of doing the African wedding thing. Like she did it, she had a whole show where she did it. One of her her many spin-offs I feel like she's gone to a few of them and she's like oh I gotta dress up like this again like it was cool the first time it's to me really yeah she's like I gotta go to a low rent invitation of my own wedding sounds great friend of I also feel like

if it's gonna be in Kenya just go a few days earlier and get something cool there you know yeah if it's gonna be in Kenya, just go a few days earlier and get something cool there, you know? Yeah, although we did learn this weekend, what it's like trying to just bike was that American stops at the airport in Mexico. The Acute cigarettes for $99. That's a quick minute.

This is more expensive than the 7-11 in America. It wasn't really? Yes, a carton of cigarettes was ninety nine dollars what America they're like ninety ninety nine ninety nine wait they're ninety dollars I guess ten of them in the year all the cigarettes are expensive huh yeah they're expensive as hey a girl heroine's cheaper all I know is I found that the pricing on the Snickers bar at the airport to be right on par so I was happy but I did like the Snickers in Mexico because you know know, how Snickers has names, I guess, everywhere they're sold, but they're like, been, but it

spelled wrong. Like the names are always spelled in a way that's not rondel. Thanks a lot, guys. But in Mexico, they had intense. So I got a, I got an intense. And I'm never going to eat it just so I can pull it out and go. Intense! Mine said, I think mine said, told day or something like that. I could be wrong, I don't even know if that's a word. But I was excited. I like having, I think it was T-O-L-D-E. I can't remember.

Maybe it was T-A-N. I don't remember what it said, but it was in Spanish and I was like, blah, blah, blah. You know, I was excited and then I ate it. And then I was like, I wonder if Keny G is watching me eat this. Yeah, I felt like why is Keny G me he never was by the way every time I turned around I was like oh Kenny G's not watching me But you can feel Kenny G's hair behind you are like yeah, you'll see it in your side eye, you know like in your peripheral vision He's that directly behind me on the flight back by the way I felt the curls

He's in by the way, he's so curls. He's seen by the way he seemed so nice. He was so he was really nice. I think I talked to him like it was like I'd be walking in a big oh my god Kenny Kenny G's staring at me. What does want? And I turned around. I was like no he's not. He's like facing me. I just keep seeing his hair in my peripheral. Remember when at one point during the wedding I think Christina Aguilera was playing and it was she was singing in Spanish with Andrea Bocelli on the song,

and I thought it was in the wrong set. I remember it because my tears almost stained my shirt. Thanks. Because I was like, wait a second, I think this is Linda Ronsat because it was like Spanish, and it had a strong voice. I was like, is this Linda Ronsat,

and I turned to Ken and G, I was like, is this Linda Ronsat? He's like, Linda Rons Ronset, and I turned to Ken and she was like, is this Linda Ronset? He's like, Linda Ronset, no. And then, that was my interaction with him. And then, of course, the Cristina Accular, who had been doing just best to me and I was like, I was like, oh, I was like, okay, that is obviously not, you know, Linda Ronset, because Linda Ronset is more comfortable with her voice, where she doesn't have to do those riffs, Christina. Well, that's a very subtle's more cognitive voice, where she doesn't have to do those riffs,

Christina. Well, that's a very subtle song for Christina, because she really doesn't do it that much. And she sounds beautiful. I mean, that song really is, that was their first dance. And I was like semi crying, but also like wondering if I was going to throw up in a tree in front of everybody. And I was like, this is really beautiful. And then there's little times where she can't help it. She's just like, all right, I'm on the end. I want to put something in the song.

Okay, that's for a quarter take. And she's like, woo! Like it does like a riff. She just can't help herself. She's like, I'm on the bill. And like, okay, that was Christina. If I only waited five more seconds, I wouldn't have embarrassed myself in front of Kenny G.

Anyway, so Sheree shows up at the African store. By the way, news flashed just one last announcement before we get back to the recap. Kenny G is not going to the African wedding. Okay, carry on. Which is too bad because he wrote a song with a Walter or called the wedding song and they played it. He also wrote a song. He also wrote a song. He also wrote a song called like that's not even that's not even a word Kenny G okay. It's just a it's just a horn sound

sir. He also sang a great a song called songboard songbird which I enjoy quite a bit that goes nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana importantly when did I realize that I like to Kenny G? I didn't know that he started playing all these songs I was like, Oh, I love this song. I didn't know. I think I got him confused with Zamfere at some point in my in my teenage years Well, he has also a very similar hairdo as Yani. So there's that too. There's a lot of instrumental Icons out there with like Katie's friends with Zamfere. I don't even know who Zamfere is Katie's friends with ZamFear. I don't even know who ZamFear is. The floutist, sir. Is that like James Galway?

He used to be on infomercial. He used to have like ZamFear, the flute, the pan flute, and he would have infomercials late at night. Now, I would watch them like every night I watched them. Okay, because I'm old. I don't know who ZamFear is, but if I knew what Zan was, I'm sure it would have a fear of that. Well, okay. So back to it, you're're gonna be happy with this one, Ben, because Shirei does swing back around to the bone, Kolda Sack, and she does swing around the bone, Kolda Sack.

She's like, I know, the last year, I gave Shemia quite the bone at her party, but this year, I'm gonna give her something off her registry. A bone. Oh shoot Thankfully, she didn't register for bones. Oh Unfortunately, she registered for a season five of bones Thankfully, she registered for thick pancakes which camera has asked him I said Cara, why do you keep making these thick pancakes? I have a bone to pick with you. Oh, shoot.

Anyway, Shamiya loves David Boreanna. So, oh. Okay. So, they're talking about the fact that Porsche is not going to be going to Shamiya's wedding and that's kind of weird because Porsche is actually Shamiya's best friend. Shamiya came into the group because of Porsche. They're besties and Porsche is not even going me, as best French. To me, I came into the group because of Porsche. They're besties. And Porsche is not even going to the wedding and that's strange. Although Candy, she's secretly happy that Porsche is not going to be going. She's

like, secretly. That's one of the place I have to blow about her fake ass try to hug me. Candy really is mean girling it lately. Now I can't really stick up for Porsche because, I mean, that was pretty bad. So I'm not't really stick up for Porsche because I mean that was pretty bad. So I'm not going to stick up for Porsche, but I really don't like when candy terms like this. You know, we've seen it a little bit. We see it more I think with other people, but I really hate when candy mean girls up on people. It makes me mean girl. It's grosses me up. She does. She does. She does with Carmen in this party later. Well, not. Yes. Yes. yes, that was sort of an option.

To me, mean-girling is just like hating someone because they're like prettier than you or like just to make yourself seem more elevated. But in this case, Candy's like this bitch tried to say that I was trying to rape her and that was sex dungeon and tried to say the Todd had an affair and then she tried to weasel away out of it. Like, I am pissed.

So I feel like she's just like like she's annoyed with Portia and she just go she's going through it. I'm sure they will pass things up but I don't mind I think oh I don't think so these two. I really don't forget and you know Portia doesn't really forget either like Portia is the kind where she fights and like if she gets her feelings hurt or she you know whatever she'll just back away, you know. And I think that she's basically doing that with Shemia because she looked at it as Shemia taking candy side or whatever. And she was shading Shemia. She was shading Shemia as they showed in the clip just from last season, you know, when when when Porsha, when Pedro was saying

that Shemia and Candy, Cisered and stuff, Porsche was like, oh, Porsche did not stand up for Shamia. Who's her lady? Who's her girl, best friend, does she say? This is a difficult one because I cannot stand up for Porsche. Like she literally does everything that they say she does. So I can't even stand up for her. I just like her. I just don't like what you do.

I like her too. I'm just saying I don't have any problems with Candy being a mean girl. Because I don't think that she's being a mean girl. I think she's just over this bitch right now. You know what? But you know what Porsche is over, meat, because she is now declared herself a baby vegan and she's now tossing all the meat out of her fridge and it is a lot of meat and she's

throwing it all out. I was like, can you at least donate to someone or cook it up and serve it to someone? Like give it to some homeless people at least. It was like a lot. It was the whole fridge of some little meat. And this lady's... Like what did you decided today? You might not want to make this a storyline.

You just went to the story yesterday. It was like... She's like more room for crudite plates. She literally had a machine called the Bacon Express. I was like, this is a hard left turn you're making. I hope you're ready for this. If you had the Baconator. The Baconator. I don't even know what a Baconator does. But if you have a Baconator turn you're making. I hope you're ready for this. If you have the baconator. The baconator.

I don't even know what a baconator does. But if you have a baconator and you're becoming vegan, you are going to have to go through a baby in the ceiling phase. You know, I have a friend who her job is titling things. Like, she's a wordcomber up with her. Oh, yeah. And I came up with that. I'm sure she has a word for that.

And she came up with the word baconator. So there you go. OK, guys, I'm famous. I'm famous she has a word for that. And she came up with the word Baconator. So there you go. Oh, okay, guys, I'm famous. I'm famous by proxy. Nealoges and Baconator. Nealoges and Baconator. I always forget the difference between Nealoges and In Portanto.

I think Nealoges and is a new word. And Portanto is when you take two words and make one out of them. And then there's a third word for it anyway. So I don't think Cannon Wing came up with those words. So I don't care about them. But Baconator, Cannon Wing, I hope you get your prize one day. You deserve that So Porsche's like yeah, I saw this movie Call of what Africa movie was but everyone's talking about a few months ago

It was like one of those netflix movies what the hell? Yeah, what the hell it's basically one of those it's basically one of those Netflix movies It got everybody to be a vegan for a month like we've all been there we've all been and Portia's like well I'm pretty much going to be vegan for us my life now so okay and I like when Portia explains herself she goes well everyone knows me to be a meat either bacon meat chicken meat chicken, meat, steaks, cheese, Mars bars, payday, chicken, shrimp, meat. She's listening all this stuff. And she goes, they cut to a clip of Porsche standing there in fucking eyelashes bigger than my hand. And I have big hands just eating plates and plates of meat

and then she goes people are waiting to see me eat meat okay yeah people are lining up around the blocks to watch you eat meat I don't what kind of world are you living in right now and also you know I hate to break up to her but we all know people who are vegetarian or vegan who then decide to go back to meat it's fine and no one's like ah caught You'll be okay if you decide to go back to me. I don't think anyone's gonna really shame you It's like okay. Yeah, we tried it. Well, we get brainwash you watch what's the health you become a vegan And then you watch that chest table show and you're like fuck that. I'm eating a chicken whole while it's still alive With some ketchup on it made out of bread so remind me about the chicken. I forgot to get its sprouts

So next at Kenya is like, King. He's still talking to her dogs. And it's even sadder than usual because now she's twirling around in her wedding dress on a hanger and puts on her veil. And she's like, King, look how beautiful your mommy was. Look, your mommy was a beautiful bride. So this is the saddest season I think I've ever sat through. Yeah, it's always sad when someone puts back on their wedding dress for no reason. your mommy was a beautiful bride. So this is the saddest season I think I've ever sat through.

Yeah, it's always sad when someone puts back on their wedding dress for no reason. And so can you say how she and her husband are living remotely because he's up in New York. His businesses are in New York, and my businesses are in Atlanta. I'm like, and what businesses are those again? It's like garage repair.

I've started a business going around and what businesses are those again? It's like garage repair. I've started a business going around to Nanny Cams and removing black paint from the lenses. So yeah, she's basically sad because she has no one to show her wedding dress to and no one to say you're such a beautiful bride because she is an asshole and kept everybody out of her wedding. So she gets branded into collar and then she cries about how mean everybody is being

into her and nobody online and nobody wants her to have a happy ending and blah blah. And she says she literally says she says we're going to the haters and all that and how it's hard on the husband she goes. He did not sign up for the crazy. He signed up for me. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't understand the difference between both sides of that sentence. That's like saying, that's like saying,

it's like an analogy that's like, light bulbs are to light bulbs as light bulbs are to light bulbs. Yes. Oh, lights. Oh, lights. Crazy is Takenia as light bulbs are too lamps. So she's like sobbing because the world hates her and thinks she's a faker which you know, I mean, I don't hate her at the moment because it's only beginning the season and I'm waiting for my hate to

build back up, but I don't believe her for one second either. Of course, she married some fucking rich guy who's never going to be around. She never asked to show him. But then again, she does start doing that thing where she just loses it and start sobbing to her producers and closes the bedroom door. And so the cameras are behind it while she's crying. And she's like, we were supposed to go to church tomorrow, but he can't take it. He's not sleeping. He's not eating. He's got ex-girlfriend sending me, men, I dated 25 years ago. They're sending pictures of men I did 25 years ago. What is that after they were now? Yeah, well Candy I mean can you just need to relax because if this is if what you're saying is true Then he's the one who's actually crazy because you like say what you will about you Kenya, but you and your

crazy and your personality is well documented in the in the limelight. Okay, it's it's on this show. It's on the apprentice. It's everywhere. And so if he did not do his due diligence and then he's like, whoa, this is too much for me. Whoa, what's this guy say from 20? Oh, who's this Matt guy? Yeah. He shocked. That's on him, Kenya. So you need like, so you need to like, this is actually supporting you. This is saying relax and he needs to get over it. Okay, don't worry about him divorcing you.

That's not your fault, that's his fault. Cause he didn't look under the hood. I mean, it is your fault for, fault for, I'm sorry, but it is your fault for signing a prenup. Cause you know she did, because otherwise you wouldn't be crying like this and Also, how is this man so brilliant? He don't know how to use Google like what he's just finding out all these men

We found this shit out four years ago. We've been watching your ass. Come on. Yeah, yeah, exactly don't just just just enjoy yourself But I do want to make the announcement that while this was all happening I did try to feel things for her but I couldn't't. And then Brandon's like, tell them to suck an egg roll. Okay, we all need a brand new. So next up, uh, can a girl. I could totally go for an egg roll. So next up, uh, candy is having a little not party, but like a little therapy session. So she Ray can talk to her and her other friends like they're the kids. So she can learn how to break all the drivers to her kids. And I love that when this stuff happens, Candy does it in the guest house. She's like, they're not going to be my kitchen.

Don Wands and they are playing Mario Kart. So she has a description for all her friends. She's like, well, this one has the best advice ever. And this one is seriously wonderful. And this one will whip you face off. Whatever. And so they come in and Kiki, who I think she's the one, she's like, Kiki, give it straight up. Kiki's like, well, hey, it's the bone carrier gang.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. She says like the, yeah, first of all, she said bone carrier, which was wrong. It's a bone collector. Bone collector. Yeah. You know, that's okay. But I guess she feels like they're the bag that holds the bones that's right. I was trying to figure it out, but I couldn't do it. It was some sort of like cocoa product tie in. So she explains to them. She's like, this is homework that the study bank life coach gave me to do.

So you are gonna pretend to be my kids. Candy, you got an air mattress? Could you put that down to the ground? You got pink eggs? You got some crusties? crusties by the way is the best pancake mix. So Candy's like, oh, for you, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room. I was like, oh, no. Yeah. Can you say now, guy, so your father and I, we sometimes did not get out of the house. And he sometimes he would come over and he would do bad things to me. And Kiki's being one of the kids and she's like, yeah, but daddy jokes a lot.

It's not verbal abuse. It's joking. She's like, I said joking, not joking. It's different. But daddy jokes a lot too. Sorry. I can have a third of these guys with no kids. So they basically help her. Super sad.

It was actually really great. It was again, it was another, it was a good scene. And it, it, it, we saw some vulnerability, real emotion from Shere, which is not to say that we haven't had that before, but it's just always what we look for on these bravo shows when people really let down their guard and give like an authentic moment. That's, that's what makes you so sick. And Candy's like, you really got through it. I'm glad.

So Sheree is like, yeah, I feel better. Now can you be Cynthia because we still haven't gotten our backpack? So Cynthia and Noel are at home. And Cynthia is talking about dating a young guy and Noel wants to move because her boyfriend lives or Peter does yeah and Charlotte yeah and Charlotte and basically she's too old and Cynthia is like but I didn't move to this lake house to have an empty lake house it's an empty nest which I could possibly knock out of a tree on accident with leaf flow child I think that I think that i mean it's it's funny because no else boyfriend lives in

charlotte and and it's like well thank god peter's there to watch over i'm like if peter's your guardian angel then there could be some problems like it's not a wonderful life sometimes he's strangled at sixteen year old while he made out with her on instagram and then he gave no else some really good advice. I wonder if Noel won some privacy from her mom's reality show life because I think there was some illusion to the fact that she's not as well-known in Charlotte as she is in Atlanta.

But honestly, if I were Noel, I would hang around in Atlanta because say what you will about Lake Bailey, that is a sweet house. I guarantee that any place that she lives with Beater is not gonna be as nice. I think her main issue is that she doesn't want to have to live with her mom while she's dating guys with baby hair. She's like, you got tetmas. So I'm gonna take myself out of this situation, mom, okay?

She's like, mom, I am voting myself off the kitchen island, okay? So basically, no all graduated high school, which is crazy that she's already graduated and she's gonna travel for year before college, which means that she probably is not going to college. But, um, yes, so then Cynthia starts telling no well about Evan. And I was like, um, if you just like drop for years from his age, he's literally half your age. Cindy is he just like, huh? I don't think about that, huh? I guess I don't think about age because my cheekbones are timeless. So stupid. So, uh, now, well, getting in the car and sent to you goes,

do you want me to cook you something? She's leaving! Like, could you maybe thought of that earlier? And you've also never cooked anything on the history of housewives ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,'s wearing big T hats, like T-time hats, and Porsche is still wearing her wedding ring. And Lauren's like, you're wearing that like it's costume jewelry and Porsche's like, it's mine and it's a diamond. Yeah. Wow, that's awesome.

Oh, she raised my favorite. She comes in with long blonde hair and a big old set hat. And she's like, woo! with long blonde hair and a big old sent hat. And she's like, Woo! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! long blonde wig and then she has this big hat too when Porsche walks in she sees characene at the table and she's like oh I thought you were Kim and then Candy just gives her a big eye roll and then it's tense and she just walks away from her yeah so I don't know my deal it's for a guess well that was awkward this whole thing is awkward well my deal is to just, what do you call it? Vigga until you make it.

And she's like, oh, hmm. Vigga made it till you make a native. No, no, no. New vegan. So she's like, I got to be part of the vegan world. What do you call it? Forks? Vigga native. Now this scene, I watched six times.

I kept rewatching this little five seconds because I was laughing so hard. Sure, you go. So you go to the wedding and of course he goes now because by the time I got the tickets, you know, there's too much because I can't even do coach and sit up in there because you know, that's not good for me. And then Shere goes to the slick like, broo, and she goes, wait a minute. What? She goes, you know, I have that condition. And she goes, ooh, is that a boy? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo be like oh why I just I can't afford the ticket to Kenya. I'm like yeah it's an expensive ticket compared to like flying to Rhode Island but when you've got a Rolls Royce you can fly to Kenya. I'm sorry you can do it you can even do a business class and what about miles what about miles bitch sure you have miles right yeah I think she just the first class is what I'm going to spend so I mean first class

to Africa has got to cost well how about you don't fly first class? You can fly business. I mean, it's so expensive. I got a condition. Don't disperseate my my positions. So she's like, what what the condition called? And she's like, that's a very gross and co-pay. That's true. It goes. No, I've never heard of this. So, Vega,ond what last word again You have to have the copay if you sin So some a comes in and candy goes We're just slowly transitioning into the muppets here Candy really did do a candy total candy voice for that. I started cracking up all over again. They were being so themselves this season.

Yeah. So now it's like bridal shower games. So there are all these different games. First it's like here you have to have a Kleenex box with balls and then you got to thrust your hips into the balls, come out. And then it was like, you got to have a weener shrap around your waist and you got to lower it

into a hole in a cup, which charay wins, by the way. Of course, of course. And then check, I got it, I got it. So then they eat and they're candy's like, are you feel to Shamiya? And she's like, yeah, well, you know, I feel married, but you know, because we are kind of married, but it's a cultural thing in its tribal, you know, so you do it this tribal way there, but like in my country we're not married until you sign a paper at court, okay? And

And they basically had it seemed like they're doing a Ceremony in Kenya, but they had to do they have some sort of other sermon they call it a dowry ceremony They call it a dowry, which is weird because that's when you like give a cow to the bride's dad or whatever that by the daughter or something. But yeah, it's called a dowry, which I think means she was married already. Something like that. And then horse show was like, yeah, I was in it. But I don't eat cows now.

So I hope your dad gives it back, because that's not nice. And so for me, it's like, well, I'm shocked that you were in it or something. Why were you shocked? And then show me it just decides to go for not go for her but talk it out It's like that time because candy is sitting there with Carmen and Carmen is just openly mocking her in front of everybody, you know? Because, because again, Porsche is like, well, I can't go to Kenya because, like, physically, I just can't do coach. And then, to me, I was like, well, then why don't you go to the doctor?

And so then, Porsche is mad because she's like, well, I gave you, I basically gave you a dossier on my health. And, and to me, I was like, well, yeah, I didn't read that. And she's like, well, how could you not read? I just said, I said you something about my health. And you didn't read it, which was, a really strange, strange emotional note to hit.

And then they sew the clip of Porsche on the party, but I was with everybody out of town last year. And she's like, I got a doctor's note. I got a doctor's note. So then they cut back to Carmen laughing. And she's like, yeah, let me get one of those notes. And Candy's like, oh, don't look at my baby. And see, welcome to my god.

And so, Simea is trying to like have, I guess, have it out in a decent friend way with Portia, but these girls are being really mean. And Carmen goes, well, she can't be on the plane. She can't put her legs down. They're so used to being up. It's a kind of damn shut up. You're not even on this fucking show, okay?

And if Candy wants to fucking do something against her, what her do it? Carmen. Fucking sick of Carmen showing up everywhere just to be a cut fitness to everybody. Well, if I remember correctly, Portia was a cut fitness to Carmen also. She was, wasn't she was saying all sorts of shit

about Candy's crew. Although Don Juan did deserve a good event because her crews coming after her she's like why gotta fight with your employees which i think that was a decent point like i don't want to fight with your cleaning lady okay like if you have a problem with me but fight it out yeah so speaking fighting it out poor she leads but then like ten minutes later we see that poor she and shamiya are having a fight in the in the R and basically about about all this stuff you know you have a good friend to me and Shemia was like standing on a stoop nearby just spying just like waiting for

the bones to fall her way yeah she's like this girl's to go on him she's like no I don't eat that anymore it It's a vegetable. So now here's my ash with Shemia and what I'm on Porsche side about. Shemia was a friend of because of Porsche. Then she comes in and starts like kind of talking shit with candy. Okay, you're getting riled up by candy. No matter what Porsche did wrong to candy. And now Shemia won't even let Porsche walk away. She's like jumping in her Rolls Royce to start fighting with her.

So she can still get her scenes on camera. You know, so whatever. Well, I think it's more. I think it's more. I think she's a bad friend and I wouldn't go either. Or it's more like, Shania and Porsche were best friends, and then Porsche started hanging out with Fadra,

and Vagia started saying some shady shit and Porsche did not have Shania's back. And now Shania is is like her but like okay let's work on this and then her best friend's not even coming to her wedding for some bullshit excuse and she even despite that she's still like I'm saving you a seat at the wedding because I still really want you to come and Portia's still giving me a bullshit that's probably why. Well she's such a good friend that she doesn't call Portia she just has to wait till cameras are around and jump in her front seat to fight it out on camera. Like, this is a housewife. So you are not going to get your, she said, you're not going to give your

support on the multiple times. She said that she reached out to Portia multiple times. And Portia just is like, it's like if she didn't reach out to Portia, she wouldn't hear for Portia. That's what she said. Well, this is my sports, okay. And sometimes I'm just going to root for whichever shirt I'm already wearing. I don't want to have to buy another fucking team shirt I'm already wearing a shirt so it's porcet of course it spells properly, but still Is it spelled POR TIA The car shirt it's the car shirt. Oh, okay So either way it's just team porcet from Shakespeare. I've like been on that bitch's team forever.

Well, Porsche is still is saying that she's apologized and that she's apologized multiple times and that like she showed up to things and that like basically Shamiya is acting like crazy like what what else to do and that also seemed sort of reasonable so I don't know I don't know where I stand on this one, but I think I tend to think though that I like Shemia and I feel like Porsche Porsche still has to I don't know. I don't like the idea that Porsche is not going to Kenya Well, I don't really blame her, but I like Shemia to actually so I don't know But I am proud of Porsche for not hitting anybody. She walked away. She got in her car Yeah, and then she got a car even that has a big enough center

console that she doesn't tempt herself to reach across and hit the other person to grab their hair while she drags them on the side of the car. So I call that movement. Yes, and as for Nini, no where to be found this episode, no need to go up there. Yes, okay. And then next week she's like,

what if Greg doesn't come home? Oh my god, he's probably probably just lost did you put like one of those dog finders on him like put a pellet of Dresnick So that was this week's episode of That was this week's episode of Real House was of Atlanta always a fun time. It's nice to have that show back This week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, always a fun time. It's nice to have that show back. Tomorrow we are here to discuss the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County, which should be interesting. And then of course Wednesday we have Dallas and Thursday we have New Jersey and on Friday below deck.

And if you're wondering where a marriage medicine is, it's our bonus episode. So go to patreon.com slash where you're crabbons and sports there. You get access to the bonus episode where you go to patreon.com slash washercrabins and Sports there you get access to bonus episode where you get to hear our marriage medicine talk So until then everyone thanks so much for listening remember to go by your washercrabins merchandise From washercrabins.com and we will talk to you Maniana bye everyone Hey prime members you can listen to washer cra Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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