Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Disco Infer-no

Episode Date: November 21, 2017

***This file was uploaded incorrectly. Re-uploaded! Sorry for the trouble! Sheree Whitfield throws her mom a disco party. Get it, girl! Enjoy! This week’s bonus is a recap of our adventures in Mexico. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm Dowdy, the OG Prem Suprene, and our super duper premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the most gorgeous girl in Texas. We love you. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we live to talk about on Yo-Broves. I'm Ronnie Karam from Roseprix Bachelor podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous little friend on a Monday, Ben Madelker for the B side blog of the Banta Blader. Hello, B. Oh, hello there, Ronnie. How are you today on this Monday afternoon? I'm good. I was like by by world last night very early. I would like to thank my friend, Tyler and all PM for coming through. Uh-huh. That's always good. Myself out. Yeah. Um, I, uh, I also had a good sleep, uh, because I, I started watching marriage medicine at 11 o'clock last night. And

within, like by the time Toyas are talking about, um, red lobster biscuits, I was like, that sounds good. And then that just somehow lulled me into sleep. I was like, God, at 11 o'clock. But we had a big weekend. Ronnie and I went to the Vulture Fest where our friend and occasional watcher crap and guest, Brian Moilin, was moderating a discussion with Erica Jane and reality star actress singer. Yeah, so that was that was super fun, especially because we got to see a lot of our people in our little sort of like podcast slash podcast plus community. So we saw Ira Madison, our buddy Ira, who we really enjoy and we saw Emerson from the people's couch who that was my first time having significant interaction with him and he was great. Yeah Emerson Stacy love those guys. It was great to finally meet Brian Moil and a person. Yeah he was wearing like skirt pants

which I loved. He looked like he was going to like a sit-it girl school and I was there for those pants. I was like I think it I think at 42 I can just start wearing skirt pants. Why the fuck yeah get me some some awesome calf tans and some skirt pants. I'm in aren't those they were sort of like cool lots right aren't cool lots are things that look like right yeah they were like extensive they were like cool lot capris yeah there, there were his city. Who's yeah, and I was I was living for those. We'll get some of those for you. We also ran into some crap and listeners at the Roosevelt, which was super cool. I love I love when people are like, oh my god, aren't you from watch or crap ends? And then I feel like a celebrity and when

especially when happens from people who like I have just met, I just feel really like the king of the world until they're like hey are you from Watchwick Krapins your car is parked illegally in this back in the day like wait a minute we noticed because you have Krapins branding all over your car we notice because your your name tag says hello my name is bad and I'm from Watchwick Crafts. But I'm sure people are more interested in hearing what about Erica Jane, then like, oh, we saw this person, we saw that person. There was, there was a free margarita. Well, also, Iro was on his way after that to do MULLS podcast, please advise.

Yeah. You know, what a tiny little fun world. I wish we all, I wish everybody who talked shit about Bravo just had Like a monthly meeting work. We can meet it like a Denny's and just laugh and laugh and laugh together We just need to have a crap and fast, you know except that's like a lot, you know, we'll just take over like Some ballroom. Yeah, I want to go Roosevelt. we could do like the best Western on fucking high Western. Exactly.

Um, uh, you know, and Ira himself just launched a brand new podcast called Keep it, which is sort of it's sort of become his tagline. It's kind of LOL that anyone has a tagline. You know, that's not like, that's not like a reality star, but he has actually developed a tagline. The text line to short to be a real housewife. He's just like, keep it. He's just like, keep it.

He's just like, keep it. He's just like, keep it. Yeah, keep it. We're all, keep going. They're doing the roles, hand signal with their fingers. Keep it going. Come on. But he actually makes it work, because he'll tweet at people.

Like someone will post something ridiculous and he'll just tweet at them and just say, keep it. Like, I don't want any part of that. And it's really funny. So now he has a podcast where he will be spiritually telling people to keep it. I don't want any part of that and it's really funny. So now we have the podcast where he will be spiritually telling people to keep it. I'm sure. So that was fun. But you know, why should we plug Ira when we have something ginormous to plug in the crap in universe? I have no answer for that. Listen, while you're listening to Iris Podcast and Molly's podcast and everyone else's podcast, you should also be heading over to watchacrapins.com to get tickets to

our Houston show on March 9th. That's right. Watchacrapins is coming to Houston. We are going to Dallas. I mean, I'm sorry to Houston, to Texas. Yeah. And I'm sorry that we're announcing this on the show way after the tickets went on sale, but we didn't know that going so when they go on, we told you to go on to watch what crap in Twitter. I mean, come on, people. Yeah, if VIP has already sold out, so if you were looking for VIP tickets, apologies. This is why you got to follow us on Instagram and on Twitter because that shit goes live there, okay? And then it's like, Lord of the Fly to get those tickets, you know?

I'm the one with the glasses that get broken. Piggy, right? I mean, I hate calling myself Piggy, but I really did love him. The revenge of the fat kid. We are really excited to bring it to Texas again. So yeah, people have been like, does this mean you're not coming to Dallas? I think it means Dallas. For right now, it's Houston. Hopefully Dallas down the line.

Right now it's just Houston because Dallas, I mean, you know, Dallas is a very fancy place. And everyone who lives in every other part of Texas looks like, uh, Dallas, because Dallas is like, they take themselves seriously, they're fancy and for good reason They're hot. They're rich. They've got tons of culture Mm-hmm, and it is very difficult to book there people want a lot of damn money to book in Dallas

I was like girl I even called the roundup and they're like, I don't know if this is proper for our venue Let us listen. I was like shut up. You're the fucking roundup. Get the fuck over yourself get some folding chairs in there I'm I'm like both so like I'm like So much like fuck them, but then also like oh my god That's the most amazing thing ever that the roundup was like we're not sure if you're really work with our brand. I know You know, but you got to love people taking themselves too seriously because we have a show called watch out crap And we're here selling tickets to come see it, which is kind of the same thing. That's why I thought it would be perfect, you know. Come on, Radat.

Well, you know, we have to give a shout out to Christine Webb because she is the one who put us in touch with Warehouse Live, which is where we'll be doing our show in Houston. And she listens and she has a friend who's a general manager over there. And she's like, oh my god, my friend has this place. You should totally go there. I was like, we would be interested. So she contacted him. She gave him the 411, Mirage Able-Age style. And then put us in contact. And within days, it was all set.

And the thing is, when we reach out to places, then we don't have any connection, it's the ball goes very slowly. It rolls very, very slowly because they don't know who we are. It just takes literally a week to get back an email. But when there is a connection, it goes fast, which is my way of saying, if you're in some of these cities and you have a connection to a place that's like a two to five hundred cedar, let us know. And then we will do our best to book.

Hell yeah, we're down for some Atlanta trips. We want to go to the Boston DC. Boston DC. We want to come to y'all in the places. Just let us know. You know, you know, well, anywhere. Have you ever seen me drink down and invite never? I'll show them everywhere. Okay. I'm sad. I'm a sad person. me, drink down and invite never. I'll show up everywhere. Okay. I'm sad. I'm a sad person. But also like don't do something like oh my god come to my city here. You should play a Carnegie Hall. It's like we can't do Carnegie Hall. Because we've had a few people. Thank you for your confidence in us. Yeah, we've had a few people like you should play at this place and I

look it up like 1500 seats. It's like the Kennedy Center or whatever. I'm like someday the Kennedy Center, the Kennedy Center honors the Kennedy Center dishonors Trump's going to be like this podcast is huge. I would say for most cities of venue that's like two to three hundred seats and then if it's a really big city, like a major, major market, like probably like a 500 cedar, that's what that's what that's where we're at right now. And that's that's that's it seems to be working well for us. So I would like to play candy, soul food restaurant personally. Yes. On the real housewives of Atlantic is man, she's obsessed with that chicken. And I know I will be too. I want to just play the back patio at can I would a hundred percent do the back patio

A hundred percent well, she's got like a whole set up space a space set up for performances there And speaking of candy because we are here to talk real house as of Atlanta I want to circle back to her opening line because the two of us last week really tough Lastly, we're like what a a generic line. That's stupid. And then there was not a big enough duh to describe how dumb both of us are usually. I mean, on this, usually I would say some things dumb like that and you'd be like, duh, Ronnie, but this time we were both dead. I think because I said Trump.

I think, well, we should, yeah, well, no, I mean, the thing is this, say what you will about about President Trump, your fired is really kind of connected to him. So when Candy says, don't mess with the boss because you might get fired, it's, your mind goes to Trump first, but then a lot of people were like, actually, we think it's a veiled reference

to the fact that Fadre got fired because she bumped with Candy. We're like, oh, it's not even veiled. I'll bet that she probably said, or you'll get fired. Bay drew. Bay drew. I got fired. That's just what your line is. And they like barely cut it out. Oh my goodness. So yes. Yeah. That was my first note to you. I wrote candy fired line. Uh, that's my first note. We have to repent for it. A politician. Listen, we never said we were a smart podcast. We just are a podcast.

Give us a little credit for trying. Well, yeah, trying to be the best podcast we knew how to be. Wait a minute. I know that. That's from the Nerdist Ryder's panel. minute. I know that's before that's from the Nerdist Riders panel. How do we not have a soap dish podcast yet? We could like literally have a soap dish podcast where we just analyze every scene. Yeah, let's start like the scene Celeste. I like the fringe on her road that really matched her turban.

Yes, please sign me up every single scene, it'll be a season of like 37 podcasts. It'll be that and big business. I think we just found our new podcast, Vin. Big soap dish. Big soap dish. I don't know. There's a lot. A lot of colors.

The color soap dish. You know, I'll go back for the color purple, too. I gotta get you on the train. Oh, you'll get on a train. You'll get on the train. Everyone is in my ear to watch the color purple. It's like actually, it's actually starting to surpass Game of Thrones people. Well, I'm glad Portia didn't see it because she would say, guess what? I'm going to invent a cover called purple because Portia comes up with ideas that are right in front of her already. She's like a goldfish. She's like, I've got an idea. Flaky food.

It's like you're a goldfish. You see flaky food every day, bitch. So she starts by going with her doctor and her mom and sister to beautiful you, which is, you know, where you get wraps and it's a beauty place. And she walks out of there deciding she's going to open like a beauty salon. and it's a beauty place. And she was out of there deciding she's gonna open like a beauty salon. I love it one like my joke.

It takes like a second for it to like, you're like, I am just gonna finish reading the line of my note and then like, wait a second, Ben said a joke. Oh, what did she say? I didn't even hear you. Oh, I thought you were laughing at my joke. Beautiful you.

I said, I thought it was a place for sheep. She probably would spell it like that. The man is a you and the woman is a me. She's giving the she's giving the you a contract. You own 99% of baby me. You will have to pay for 99% of baby me even if I never call you the daddy of baby me. You will have to pay for 99% of baby me, even if I never call you the daddy of baby me. So yeah, so they're at this spa, beautiful you. And it's where you turn your use beautiful.

I'm pretty. They also welcome llamas and opacas if you have them, which is appropriate because Porsche is there. And so, she's like, a lot of people say see me and say, oh, she just woke up like that. I'm like, I never actually think that to be honest. Yeah, I don't think anybody's ever said that. Ever. I also want to say that I was working on my Porsche impersonation last night and I'm glad to say it has all escaped me now. I'll be like, Horshaw! Speak slow news! Wait, where'd that come from? I have decided to lock it down when it comes to new friends.

I can't even minute. It is just me and my sister and my mother no new friends the one consistent thing in my life is going to be my family Yes, Portia. We know did Portia take an improv class where she got to get the who wasn't wear out in the first five Seconds of every single scene. She's like, I'm Porsche, I'm hot. I live in the house with my family, because they're the most consistent thing in my life. Okay, Porsche. She is very much like in the pilot episode of a new sitcom, right? Like, so this is a situation where I live and together, cause my new friends. See, I told you my portion voice is crazy today.

She's like, my name is Portia. Hahaha. Yeah, but she isn't any sitcom. She's like, we're gonna get a body wrap. Bleh, bleh, bleh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I like when the doctor, the doctor talks like this. She's like, the moms, they're gonna get the body wrap first.

You know those like zombie wraps. And the mom's like, I thought I was gonna lay down and wake up like I didn't know I had to exercise because she's making a get on a treadmill. And the doctor's like, well, you must be active for the wrap to work. It will take up water, waste. It just pauses as they're all staring at her.

We're waiting to see what Porsche says. Waste it just pauses as they're all staring at her We're waiting to see what Porsche says and she's like She wraps herself up like a mummy and then her butt is like dangling out like it's like coming through the wraps I was like see this is why the The mummy extended universe thing failed for universal, right? Like, because this is the mummy that we would have wanted. Okay, not the time cruise mummy. We want Porsche mummy. Brains, brains!

Brains, dammit. The only thing that's consistent in my life is my family's brains. My system moved into my pyramid. my family's brains. My system moved into my pyramid. Spings? Why yours got a real spings? Well, the truck just mad at the spings.

Oh, Spings got a nose job. Catacombs my hair. It's like her little porcelain beauty shop in there. Come here, come in here for a catacombs. I'm opening up a new salon called Faros. That's not even a plan word. So my sister is my, I'm the body and my sister is the backbone. I mean, I don't know what you're trying to say,

but please keep trying to say it. I'm obsessed with porcelain. I don't care what you're trying to say, but please keep trying to say it. I'm obsessed with Porsche. I don't care what anybody says. She cracks me up. I look forward to us building the Porsche Empire. Yeah, good luck. It's like only trial and error. It's like only trial and error.

Yeah. Cliff on hair, some bad lingerie, and then a bunch of naked pictures on Instagram. I don't know what that's going to bring you, but I'm here for it. Maybe she will follow in the footsteps of Sonya Tremont Morgan, who just today unveiled an app. Did you see this? I saw on Instagram yesterday that she posted coming tomorrow, and then it's just a picture of her and launch array.

I was like, what's coming tomorrow? She's coming tomorrow. No, but she released an app. I saw it on Instagram and I was like, what's coming tomorrow? She's coming tomorrow. No, but she released an app. I saw it on Instagram and I was like, what is this? I was like, should I download this and talk about this like on a bonus episode, but I decided to cool it. But basically it's like, it's basically Sonya's version of Retail Me Not.

It's like, here are my favorite discount codes, you know? And the reason why I didn't download it is because to sort of use the app, you have to like, you have to create an account and I just was not in the mood this morning. I'm not going to give my email over to Sonia just yet. So, but I was just like, what sort of discounts does Sonia get? And like, I just like that she came out with like a coupon app. Well, you know, Sonia's like Porsche, she'll do whatever's right in front of her face and Tensley was dating that coupon guy.

So maybe she was like, I want a coupon app. Why not? That's what I think. That's how I think she's done. She's Sonya discounts. I guess it's sort of like, maybe it's her version of guilt, but this one has a you in it, like a sheep. Like Sonya and a sheep.

Well, she can't do things too close to home. Like who needs an app, like fix my walls? Here's an app to give me money to get the mold out of my walls, thanks. Thanks for coming. I would like an app called Task Sonya and she comes over. You're like, I need to mount my TV and she comes over with a glass of Prosecco. Hi. What's going on? This is a great wall. What are you going to do with it?

John, I'm at a TV. We used to watch TV all that we were just watching Lawn Order yesterday. So I thought you were here to mount the TV, Sonia. Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. I'm just just here to watch. Who am I going to mount just as she gets like drunker and drunker? Her app is basically inviting her over so that way she can watch the task rabbit. You have to actually use task rabbit too, but Sonya tasks Sonya. Maybe we could it could just be like the highest bitter whoever has hot water. Sonya will come over to take a hot shower for once. hot water. So you will come over to take a hot shower for one. So Porsche tells her mom, you look like some rap hot dogs.

Lauren is more extra. She don't have no meat. You need some installation, honey. I'm like installation. I love you, Porsche. Yeah. I just put, I have a feeling you get plenty installed, Portia. Okay. A lot of fiberglass. Yes. A lot of things. So, then we go over to Cherey and her daughter. They're at a place called Clothing House because Cherey is going to be throwing a 70th

birthday for her mom. And in honor of the 70th birthday, it's going to be 70 themed. So she and her kids are going to find their 70s clothes. It's like on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where they're like, let's go on a shopping spree to buy Canada Diamond Watch for $90 million. Except not at all like that. Okay. Yeah.

Their bill is like $300. So Shere is like, what do we get? I thought it was like $3500. I thought she said 3495 or 3495. He said 30411. I thought that meant 100. I mean, they're about a couple of weeks. I think you're right. 30411. Yeah, you might be right. Now, you know that this is going to be a disaster because you're a party planners. That's not good.

Yeah, they don't they don't have a good track record. And they were shorter reminders of that. It was a great rewind flashback to charay and her party planner from season two. We didn't get enough of Velma in this episode. It's a Velma episode. I wanted Velma all over the place. And we only got her really on the phone, right? And we we saw her a little at the end, but it's Velma is, it's Velma, who's Velma? Velma Sheree's mom. Oh, I thought her name was Velma. Oh, I write down a film.

I don't know, you could be right. Oh my god, either way, or I'm gonna be Velma. Thank God you don't come here for facts, because it could be $300 or $3,000. It could be Velma or Velma. Like who knows? You know, it's like a parallel universe. Like either Sheree spent a lot of money for Velma or she spent not a lot for Velma or Velma like who knows? You know, it's like a parallel universe.

Like either Shere spent a lot of money for Velma or she spent not a lot for Velma. I just like that Jack A is playing her daughter. Oh, Mama. I like that. I like that Kyro is still hot. Oh yeah, Kyro. Yeah, Kyro shows off his hotness a lot in this.

And you know, he's good at saving his mom money. He doesn't buy a shirt. Yeah, I appreciate that. Speaking of hotness a lot in this. And you know, he's good at saving his mom money. He doesn't buy a shirt. Yeah, I appreciate that. Speaking of hotness, we then go to Cynthia, who's on a date with Will, who's like a fove in diesel. Did you hear all that coughing or did that mute button work? I didn't hear the coughing, but I heard like a sound, which I didn't hear the coughing but I heard like a sound which I didn't know laughing part. Oh, okay, okay I'm sorry that the mere mention of the transition to Cynthia like elicits such a coughing fit in you I'm like moving on to Cynthia Cynthia another fake date now. I don't know what Cynthia think she's trying to do over here

But she's with to do over here, but she is with some of the cheesiest guys I've ever fucking seen. This one, she met at her party and someone who set her up. Oh, she said, one of my baby, one of my Bailey boys set me up, child. She says, child, no. I think that she's actually dating this guy, to be honest.

Oh, she is? Because I went on to his Instagram and he has a picture with Noelle from like two weeks ago. Oh, Cynthia, this guy is such a cheese ball. Yes, but he's hot and she deserves a hot piece of ass. And, you know, he's already better than Peter. So, you know, she's moving in the right direction. I guess to me is Mama Joyce without the wig.

He looks just like her. And if you look at him closely, you will see it, I'm telling you. You know what's actually hilarious about that, Ronnie? I wrote down that he has Candy Burr's mouth, which is essentially saying that he has got Mama Joyce. That's hilarious. He has Candy's face, or at least says Candy's mouth. She, 100% has Candy's mouth.

So it's agreed. And Candy's mouth is Mama Joyce's mouth, basically. Yeah, they're just different. I was looking through screenshots online or the Google image search of Mama Joyce just to get an apt picture. But no one will just take a normal picture of Mama Joyce's. She's like, ah!

Like furious, like half her face, half her mouth is like twisted all the way down. Who thought that mama Joyce would make such a hot man? Oh my God, I'm creeped out. He's so cheesy. Like whoever said that my pee came up to her to birthday apparently and got on the mic and he's like, you are one of the best presents on the menu of life, whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, he was like, he's like, I'm sorry, I'm not on the menus, so you can't eat me up. And she's like, Oh, child. Yes, you are the cheese tray. Here's what I, here's what I, what bothers me about this guy is that he's's a liar, because he's like, Cynthia's like, so you ever model anything like that? He's like, no, never did it. I just got a school and just decided to go into business.

I just have my mind to business. I'm just a business man. You go on to his Instagram. It's like a million modeling photos. Yes, that is not a business man. I didn't even go on his Instagram and I could tell that right away because he's doing that thing where he knows how to work a lady, you know. Yeah.

And he's like, I'm thinking of the lamb chop La La Pop's child. And he's like, now, stop trying to be like me sexy lady because I'm thinking of La La Pop's two. No, you were. You were not. And then she says, uh, what did, oh, she's like, what's your sign, child? And he's like, I'm a Capricorn child. I also like saying, child, after everything just like you, child. And she's like, well, can you handle the cat?

Oh, no, he does. Can you handle the Capricorn? Look, my best friend is my little sister. She's a Capricorn. Those people are not hard to handle. They're like some of the nicest people in the world. I've never met a difficult Capricorn. I don't really know the differences

between any of the signs. I just know that all signs point to yes, no, with the sky. As in, yes, you should bang him. No, he's not gonna for you long term. Yes, he's probably gonna go to jail soon for fraud Yes, he's like a magic eight ball from Target He really is a hot magic eight ball see I made me think about hot Todd You know because Todd was just hot. He's just hot and cute

Where's this guy's like he knows he's hot and he's acting all charming and it's like like stop and saying he's saying he doesn't model etc. Shut up, we don't believe you. Also a Capricorn I'd licked it up. Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. So yes well I think she can handle a Capricorn. Can you handle all this responsibility and on timeliness? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, Jury still out because he is still very hot. And I want

Cynthia to have someone really hot. You know, she's, she was in Peter jail for like nine years and she deserves, she needs, she deserves hot Vin Dieselizel. No, since he deserves prison, for making us watch her give Peter a hand job on national television, that will never ever be forgiven in my mind, never. Well, no, she'll get the prison with this guy because he will ultimately be unfaithful and wind up using her money

and be not emotionally satisfying. So she will get her come up in, but she will also get her reward too which is what she deserves as well. Okay this guy like she goes, tell me about you, Tav. And he's like, well, I had my daughter when I was 30 and she's a daddy's girl. I would show you pictures but I don't care my cell phone on dates. I'm like really? Come on.

You don't bring your cell phone on dates. You know why? Because it's got GPS in it. He's probably on parole or something. It's probably because it was like a motor roller razor and he hasn't updated in nine years. I banged a woman in the H&T store. That's how I got my daughter and how I got my phone. You just don't want her to see your cricket wireless phone. I've just never heard that. I didn't, I don't bring my phone on dates. It's one of those things that's, it's just like to intentionally,

it's not that it's just, it's contrived, it's contrived. And it bothers me. And then Cindy is like, oh, he's like the male version of me. I'm like, oh, did he bring a kitchen island along to? He's like, I love taking baths by the pool on Lake Will. Oh my God, just like me, chah. And then he ends with the say, he ends with it cheesy too. He's like, he's to a friendship that's

been created over meat lollipops. No matter what happens from now on with friends same, he ends with a cheesy too. He's like, he's to a friendship that's been created over meat lollipops. No matter what happens from now on with friends forever. How am I supposed to be your friend if you don't even carry your cell phone? Exactly. I would actually be turned on if he brought his cell phone. I was like, Hey, can we take a pause to like check Instagram? I'd be like, you know, that being said, as much shade as we're throwing this guy, I mean, something, I think one of the life's great pleasures is if when you're on a date with someone who is just like really like hot or something, and they are flirting heavily with you and they're like, laying on that charm and you know, you're like, oh, this person's full

of shit. I know, but it feels really good. It's great feeling. I don't know. I know, but it feels really good. It's a great feeling. I don't know, I always think they're trying to steal. Like if anybody's that sharp over the top charming, I'm like, what do you want to steal from me? Just, just take it. I don't have anything.

Like what are you going to steal? Like my old TV remote, like I literally have to, here, here's my water bottle. That I use every day that says, Rami, for much of what crap is. Okay, take that. Take me away for a walk. You'll bring him back eventually, just take it.

I, I, you be back in my dating days, every now and then, you know, you should wind up with someone who I was like, I feel like you're way out of, like, like you're way out of my league. I should not be dating you. And the fact that you're being sorted with me right now, I'm like, whoo, you know,

so that's what I'm giving to Cynthia, except the thing is that Cynthia's a super model, so really, she's out of everyone's league. Yes. Oh Sorry, I just dropped a cord on my water jug and it went Stomp so next up is Mamie's house. Okay. I don't know if Neenie didn't get her house furnished yet Because you know Neenie's in trouble with the tax people so I don't know what her deal is but she's like I couldn't get any harder now to my damn brain. It is so hot. I'm about to sweat. I need to get naked out of this mofo That's my thought too. I'm like why are you not filming in the air conditioning?

Go inside. And poor Greg, he's literally like falling apart. He's like, he's like, oh, it's hot. I think I'm about to pass out on account of my heart troubles. And like the miniature strokes up in heaven. And she's like, Greg, just stay out here. Like let him go inside. Many strokes, like he's pup pod all this in. And uh, meanies meanies.

That's good. I've been with Greg since his 20s and the secret is still being attracted to each other. Honey, because her thing is saying honey now after every single light she goes without Greg. What would I do? Who's going to cut the grass? Who's going to clean the pool? Who do I pay the lights and gas to who's gonna come walking over when I say Greg and then Brent comes out and she goes Greg can you believe you pretty

something that big this is my favorite meanie yeah so so Brent comes over and he's gonna I guess he's gonna go the store or something Oh, he got caught shoplifting this the scene is so awkward on so many levels. He got caught shoplifting. Yeah, oh not Greg Brett Yeah, I know I know Brent the one who got caught shoplifting at Walmart and got in trouble. No, I thought that was Neenie's other son That's not nice with me. Hold on. It's okay, she has two sons. It's easy to get. Son's confused.

Brent is the good kid. Brent is like the sweet adorable Brent that we've seen grow up before our eyes. And I was like, please let there be a Brent growing up montage. And there was. It's so cute. It's all I wanted. Brent, you're an extra cheat. Yeah, Bryson.

Bryson is one in Brian was arrested for shop. I'm sorry, Brent. No, Brent's the good kid, although he wants to get into comedy and acting. So who knows? And also, I think he has two T's at the end of his name. He does. Yeah, Brent, he keeps the extra to you for savings. So everyone sounds nervous calling him off the list at the DMV. They're like, granted to, he's like, don't be afraid. It's not me that shoplifted. It's my brother. So Greg is like, he's like, Frank's like, can you get me a dessert while you're out? And you need to serve. This is really funny. I don't know why it may be laughs so much. She's like, Greg,

Greg, it's been on this planet a lot longer than I have on honey. So who am I to keep him from a dessert? I was like that was actually like I the idea of like he just wants like a cupcake Get him a cupcake. She's like if you go out and I text you you better answer your text honey, okay? I don't know what these men can't answer a text. I Can she go I can send the text I can see the text they get the text I see them see the text I see them get the text I can't even do the text text I go to Texas and they don't do that text they don't give a text there in Texas I go to the text and I'm like reading a book I was like we have textbooks in the textbook here I on the no text with just regular books. I'm like where I got the text I need to read a text for my textbook

And I'm gonna send a text about the text. I'm like, Nini, whoa. I wrote that to you. She's mentioned text like 45 times in the span of seven seconds. What's a lie? Is they told me I was gonna be an empty nester? This nest ain't, this nest ain't empty. Except for the furniture that was probably re-taking out of your hat. Except for the Jennifer Leather sofas that were possessed before you thought this scene of the 110 heat. I'm like technically

you're outside so your nest is kind of empty at the moment. Yeah so Nini says that Brent is gonna try his hand at comedy since since Nini's been doing a stand-up tour which is I think unceremoniously come to an end recently, that Brent has been helping out with that, and now he wants to try his hand at comedy and the acting world, which I think is great. But I don't know. I feel like maybe there are other things he could do first. Yeah, college or something.

Yeah, I'm not really sure about that, but I know he got a he got a A spot at some hotel like some casino hotel or something. They were like did he Brent leaks tonight I think it was one of those um Appearance fee things with the like do you want to come to this party Brent's gonna be here? I don't know well listen if he's funny. He was just showing up there. I don't even know Listen if he's funny then by all means, I just feel like it was sort of like a strange turn. Because we never saw Brent being like funny or anything, you know?

Or like being able to see his awkward life. Yeah, stand up story line on the house. Yeah, so it's like, oh, he wants to go into comedy. And because he sees his mom doing it and like, uh, I don't know. I don't know. I'll just, I guess I'll just wait to prove me wrong, Brent, prove me wrong. And if you ever steal your mom's jokes, just don't take the Uber rape one, okay? Yeah, just just a tip from one old comedy queen to another. Stay away from rape. Rape jokes. They don't work so well.

Yeah, stay away from Uber rapes. Yeah. So over it. Oh, oh. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast

from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownallar, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that will have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wundery app. Can't be factory. Candy and Todd shop Todd was wearing his Yankee's hat extra tall to make himself like he really striving for those inches. Yeah, he's like putting pumps under the hat now.

He used to wear them right on top and now he's wearing like burnt reddled pumps under the hat to where they're above his head. on top and now he's wearing like burnt reddled pumps under the hat to where they're above his hat. He like essentially has like a glass pole that's like goes from his belt to like above his head and he just dangles the hat from the pole. He's got some magnets on his head and then magnets on his hat facing the other way so they're like resisting each other. back that's on his hat facing the other way so they're like resisting each other. His hat is secretly a drone and it just it's just programmed us to follow him exactly. It's just like floating way up high. He's like, my hat just got back from the desert.

It was on a mission. Now he tells they're going into a meeting and he tells Candy, you are too blessed to be stressed. Wasn't that porous line at one point? Yeah, I think that's why he said it. I'm too blessed to be stressed and too, too full of shit to be thirsty. I don't remember what was.

Too much of a mommy to be a dummy. Yeah, I think that's why he was saying it. I think he was shading Porsche. I don't get any of this Porsche shade, okay? You have to be very literal. You have to say, look. I'm about to shade Fager or Porsche and then a laugh but as a sarcastic person, I really don't understand sarcasm very well. I never get it.

Really? I thought you totally got it. Ben hates me! So, um, let's see here. Go ahead. Oh, they're talking about how basically Carmen, who is um, Candy's assistant is, uh, she is stepping down from her role to open up an insurance agency, which is really, you know, very exciting. It's going to be like the East Coast branch of um, Cotto insurance. I don't know, but watch out because Candy's an investor. You know a business Candy is not going to fuck around. Yeah, that's true too. But maybe that's why they're showing Carmen Morris as she can fight with Candy next season. Yeah,

exactly. So this is all a way to say that Candy needs a new assistant and she's once been twice shy after the whole Johnny Piasco from last season. And Don Juan's like, I'm the last of the Mohicans. Please, I wish you were one of the last of the Mohicans. That movie would have been so much more entertaining. I actually never saw it. I never saw it, which is funny because I try to see all of Madeline Stowe's work. But

Don Juan with Madeline Stowe's work. But I've just done Juan with Madeline Stowe. He'd be like, bitch. Bitch, I'm not going to be the last one of us. Oh shit, I'm the last one of us. It just ends with him be heading, Fadre. Just kidding, it's not a spoiler alert. I forgot how it ended because I slipped through the last of the Mohicans, OK?

Yeah. Maybe it's been the first of the Mohicans, okay? Yeah, maybe I've never been the first of the Mohicans. Something less depressing, okay? Yeah, how about the how about the origin story for the last of the Mohicans? How about like, hey, we're here, the Mohican story. Mohicans have arrived. Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived. So they tried me Silhouettes. So they try and do a

say lovey. Seek, say lovey, Mohican, Mohican. Yeah, the way I'm sharing Seek, say lovey at the Mohican Sun, the Mohican Sun. Well, that's Mohican. Yeah, what? Am I in the wrong movie? Sheek, say loveyik say the TV say well say well. I've been hired to perform at the last Mohican. They're like wait a minute. That's the last Mohican. Okay, it's an Indian casino Sue me for living

I spelled that SIO UX I come from the Sue Indians, SUA. No. What? My grandmother was Sue. My grandmother's name. No, still buzzing town. Oh my goodness. So they drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. So they try and get in a little cross promotion here and he's like your karma's going to insurance. You're going back to skate. How is that going by the way? And I was like FF how is that spinoff going that he was right after this anyway candy. She's like she's like a random honk because I didn't even listen. Yeah. So

what else happened? So now candy starts talking about Kenya's wedding. Um and because they're like did you speak to Kenya after that wedding thing that was out even real and she goes, I reached out to her and was like, I was like, did you get married? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, what? Ah! Yes, she got married and I was like, whoo, and I was like,

really? Did you see that? Got married, really? No. No. Got married. She's like, got married, on an island. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no aol.com. See now you got Mail. See now you got Mail, that you won't tell me whose name it is.

Mom, mom, mom. Was it a wedding invitation? Because see now I didn't get one. was here a wedding invitation because say now I didn't get one. I like when she said it's on an island in Todd goes that don't count. It don't work that way. It doesn't work. It doesn't count if you get married on an island. So funny. And Don Juan's like, did she get a prenup? I love that he's like so angry about everything all the time. All the time. Oh, all the time.

Yeah. I'm telling you, he is very Tom of Tom and Jerry, assuming that Tom is the cat, because I can never tell which one is which. Yeah, I think Jerry's the little mouse. Yeah, he is the cat from Tom and Jerry. I mean, you do side by side. It's like, it's, it's just, it's there. He is a cartoon cat who's chasing a mouse and having things fall on his head.

So they start telling him that she can't go because she has a condition and he's like, the same one for that mental institution. And she's like, no, she's got a new letter this time, Carmen. She's got a new letter. This one says her legs gotta be elevated and he just starts dancing around the room laughing. And then Candy gets her shade in.

She's like, now I'm sure if there was an African there, waiting to hook up with you, you'd be there. With just some African horror shaming from the blog, the blog stuff, the past couple of years, that we're saying that Portia and or Kenya were really just kind of high class hookers for all these African billionaires. Mm-hmm. the blog stuff the past couple of years that we're saying that Porsche and or Kenya were really just kind of high class hookers for all these African billionaires. And I would like to thank you internet for that piece of possibly not even true information.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, basically, Ken used like, see, I bought my ticket, it was $5,000. So and I like the way she sort of said it like, yeah, I bought mine and it was $5,000. She can pay it. She can afford $5,000. So, and I like the way she sort of said it, like, yeah, I bought mine and it was $5,000. She can pay it, she can afford $5,000. It's not even afford to me. It's like, why would I pay $5,000 for the plane ticket for your wedding? Because you know on top of that,

you're gonna be spending seven grand. Who asks their friends to do that? Well, she doesn't have to fly first class, also. By the way, she can go coach. And admittedly, it's gonna be a very sick, she's't have to fly first class also. By the way, she can go coach. And admittedly, it's still be a very sick. She's very ill. OK.

Oh, yeah, you're right. She's got the same disease as that my left foot guy. Well, what what what deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep I mean, are we just gonna go through all the Daniels? They've those movies of this podcast? Can we, should we talk about, in the name of the father? Like, and then Kenya went on a hunger strike. And then Porsche was like, I'm falsely imprisoned. She's like, this is no country for all men. I'll tell you that. Hey, I'm gonna open a retirement village. I don't know where I got that idea.

That, I believe you're thinking of there will be blood, which can be at the same year as the country. Well, which one was no country for old men? That was with Josh Brolin and Wats' face, Spanish actor with a scary haircut. Yeah, they were really cool. I drink your milkshake. I drink it.

I drink 85% of the milkshake, because that's what I put my heart into that milkshake. I drink your milkshake. I'm going to come up with a milkshake brand. I had a dream for a salon. We get milkshake that's wrapped like a mummy. I'm gonna call this Salam, Salami. No, Salami. No, Salami. Salami.

Alright, Salami. But I'm a baby vegan. Ah! The Porsche Empire is crumbling. Alright, slimy, but I'm a baby vegan. Ah! The Porsche Empire is crumbling. I'm gonna open a business for crumble cakes. Okay. Okay. Mmm. So then we go over to Kenya.

Who's like, why does it smell like pee in my closet? I'm like, well, you're either having a stroke or it's just another day at your house I'm like Matt is probably hiding in there and he's been there for three days waiting for you to come into closet I'm just waiting I'm gonna pound tuna. I'm gonna pound tuna. I love it so much You manipulated me you manipulated me this to me. You manipulated me. You manipulated me. So, poor Kenya having the seat seats with her dogs. I mean, it's sad at this point.

We're only in episode three of the season, and it's already sad. She's like, Are you mad that mommy didn't take you to more manner? Wedding, wedding, wedding, more. I'm married. Like, oh, god, even your dogs don't care. And the dog Pete on her wedding dress because she didn't have an employee that day I guess and just left this sitting out in her gigantic closet guest room closet. Yeah. Yeah, exactly

How about like you close your closet doors? Yeah, and how about stop comparing yourself to came of crowns She's like is this like game of crowns where? I would like it if she thrones you mean? Oh yeah, I wrote a pair of crowns to this problem. That would be amazing. Yes. But yes, Game of Thrones is basically about which king is going to get the ultimate right to pee on somebody's wedding. And talk to them.

And I really, I have to watch Game the ones only so I can start making good references on this podcast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry. Well, you can't say anything anyway, because it's all spoilers on that show, because you say one person died and people get mad at you. It's like that was season one, but you know, those shows you you save until

you're old and have, I don't know, some old disease where you're sitting around all the time, catching up on stuff you never watch the first time around. I could have watched it yesterday, you know, like I woke up, I had to make, I got to make brittle for breakfast, and then I sat in my apartment all day long playing a video game on my phone. Like, that's time I could have been watching Game of Thrones, and I'm playing. You were so weird.

I was sitting here last night, and I was thinking about that time you told me Uber had McDonald's and then I ordered McDonald's just because it was in my head. And even the memory of you saying that in me ordering it made me order McDonald's from Uber. I ate McDonald's yesterday as well as my point while I was taking notes on this. You know, I had the Macrital. I was so good. And you know what the night before, I have a real problem now. We have a real situation on my hands, I'm sorry everyone, we are. This is a tangent. Okay, if you don't like tangents, hold your words. It won't be long, but it needs to be said.

Now that I've moved my local supermarket, even though I still want to go to Sprouts more, the one that's really close by that I have to get something in a pinch, is a pavilions, and there's an in-store panda express. And it's just gonna be a test of wills, and I've already failed, because you show up at the supermarket and the entire parking lot just smells like delectable Chinese food, which is like one of my favorite smells.

And then you go in there, I'm like, I'm gonna get my, some spinach to make myself a little salad, and then you're like, that the smell comes into your nose. It's like And all of a sudden like, next thing I know, I'm like checking out at the panda express thing with like a bag full of egg rolls And like orange chicken. I'm like waking up from my fugues state like what what did I just do? That's a ridiculous problem. It's a problem.

And you know how I looked at mini-send shoplifting a little while ago, that browser window is still up next to my notes. And it says unhappy meal. Neenie Leakson arrested at McDonald's. You guys, I feel like the world is expiring against us today. It's all I kind of want to have a week where just eat nothing but fast food and just like be okay with it Yeah, it's called my trip to Arizona last year so So now back to Kenya. So Kenya calls up her husband Mark and I don't know if you notice this

But the Kairan on the bottom of the screen was so shady it goes like it says it says on the phone mark slash baby's voicemail. Now this was amazing she's like I'm used to haters but Mark isn't and it's my job to protect my family and Mark is my family. Hi Mark, it's me. I miss you so much baby. Let's talk, talk, talk, because he won't answer the phone. She's talking to his voice mail. Beep, beep. Message erased. He's pre-arrasing her voice mail.

He's got one of those apps where he sees her recording and you can listen while they're recording. He's just like, and so she tries again couple that is in love together with each other beep too long hey mark king peed on the wedding dress i bought for myself to that time i said we're gonna get married and then you forgot to show up but i was like whatever i'll photoshop you in any way we'd like to try again press star and then she started when where she's like, In six months, I never saw this day coming. Beep! You never saw what day coming. You're sitting alone in your house, talking to your dogs,

it just pissed all over your fucking wedding dress, Kenya. Okay. The honeymoon phase is so wonderful. So wonderful. So good. Oh my god. I love that the team team mobile voice mail lady hates her ass. I see a lingerie left over from the honeymoon. So with every meal wants left over lingerie.

Exactly that your dog may have peed on just or just got peace shrapnel. So then we then go over to charer who's tasting food for the big party. And she's like, yeah, food. I don't know what happened in the scene. She just, I think she was just talking. She's like, we're gonna have a 70s party. And I want everyone in a 70s week. We're gonna get a 24 inch disco ball. It's unho. People are gonna be blown away. It's like by a disco ball. You know, a 24 inch disco ball is not that big, right?

Also, people are gonna be blown away. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I like by a disco ball. You know, 24 inch disco balls, not that big, right? Also, people are not going to be blown away. Just get one of those little things from Gadsouk's. It's like the spinning light, you know, the spinning disco lights or whatever. Be done with it. I got one of those when I was a kid. I bought it off. And I may have gotten enough of Hemmacher Schlummer. It's one of the rare things that was less than $3,000. It was like a 12 doll. Oh no, you know what, I take it back. I did not get it from Hemmacher Schlummer.

I think I got it from Spencer's. Yeah, Spencer's. It was like, yeah, but it was one of those things, like light spun around and I would make like disco lights in my bedroom. Yeah, early signs, I was gay early signs and and very fancy. That you had like a brand name when you're like one of those girls. He used to go on trips and come back from Christmas and jean your

high with like a Tiffany key chain. Oh, I think it said braids. They went to the Caribbean. No, just trying to be fancy. They're like, look at my Tiffany key chain. It's like we're in junior high. We don't even have keys like mine was one house key. No, mine was definitely not fancy. And I would turn off all the lights in my bedroom and play can't let go of them by Mariah Carey and turn that thing on because you know, can't let go has that amazing opening was like. like it's amazing. Oh my gosh, other people who can't let go regarding Mariah Carey, Kathy, Kathy Griffin still go and you see

what is Kathy Griffin doing now? She released, she released that thing. She's like, hey, it's a mayor. Don't give a fuck town or whatever. I got a letter from someone who said, Andy was sexually inappropriate with them when he was in college. It's like, Oh my god. Kathy, what are you doing? Yeah, she releases long letter. And people are like, is this supposed to be about sexual assault?

Because it's not. Like, I don't know what you're trying to do. And then in one of the tablets in the UK, they were like, oh yeah, Kathy Griffin's gonna try and start about terrible one night stance. This man says he had a horrifying one night stand. Oh my God. And the guys like, she wanted me to punch her in the face or something I mean it's just it's just messy it's very very messy she needs to just

rain it in because this is not a good look okay Kathy we all are rooting for you but this is not we can't get behind that we don't here's the thing we just I think we don't care about the Andy Cohen stuff at this point we just don't care I mean I just spent time on it but I just had to update people who hadn't heard it is hilarious rain it in ring it out and shut the fuck up lady okay just keep being funny stop with this yes so then we go to Portia and Lauren they are meeting with a guy named Eric and as Portia describes Eric Eric is the person I go to when I have these big ideas. I'm like, does like, what are the big ideas? Like ordering an Arnold Palmer?

Oh, Eric, I'm gonna get an Arnold Palmer. Whether if we miss iced tea and lemonade, that's already invented. Pink lemonade then. Okay, we're on it. lemonade. That's already invented. Pink lemonade then. Okay, we're on it. It's like Shark Tank. He's just like, oh my goodness, like clearly his like cousin's father is a friend of Portia's and you have to do like show up and like endure this meeting. Yeah. She's like, I want like maybe a box or something and then when you see the minute it takes you places. That's a car. No, no, no, I know that. A train. No, no, no, no, no, no, different.

A bus. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, there's already buses. What? What if we, what if we spelled it backwards and like put it in the water, it's like, yeah, those those exist too, subs. I'm gonna say a sandwich shop. So Eric, she's tells them about the, uh, the, uh, emu cleaning place. And, um, Eric, it was like, well, how do we differentiate, differentiate your lamb wash from other lamb washes? She's like, this will be me.

It's gonna be me. This will be mine. Okay, so there'll be many health code violations. Got it. He'll be the one that has the D on it. So they're like, how much do you want to spend on rent? She's like, 10 grand. And someone wrote on Facebook, yet she can't spend the five to get a damn first class ticket.

Exactly, exactly. And she's like, see what I want to do? Is I want to get a consultant? And I can have a consultant do it. Like, yes, please, that's a great idea. Please, a consultant, yes, yes, yes. And then she's like, I don't want to have it ready next week. I was like, no. But go I could do it now that's different well his

feed does taste like a box of hair but still he's like you can't just start like other businesses just because they also have a D in the wood they're okay if it's like yeah I don't think it's gonna happen. I'll probably take nine on just like what? Who said that? Hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold I start to get in the zone. I think every time we do that somewhere in the world Hoda just pops up her head like She just pops up from her drunken stupor like, huh? No, hold on not you go back to bed So they're explaining permits to her and They're like well it takes a while to get permits Also, if you're still not talking to Fadra,

I mean, she can make that shit take 10 years. Don't piss Fadra off when she knows so many people at City Hall, okay? We saw what she did in Candy. Yeah, exactly. So then once the guys leave, Lauren and Porsche start fighting, because Lauren doesn't like the way that Porsche keeps saying,

like, it's her company, that Porsche keeps saying like it's herk, it's my company, it's my company. Well, from my salon, my salon, and Lauren's like, um, we are co-owners. And then all this stuff starts to unravel or starts to, starts to fall out of her mouth about how, you know, basically she doesn't like, she doesn't really like working for Porsche. She gets, doesn't get paid enough, she gets paid for like little sister wages But not like real wages, etc. And Porsche is like, well, I have this vision of us owning a salon together And she's like, well, then why is it 85% you and 50% me? And she's like, because I have to put my credit on the line I put my reputation in the I put my money in it. What are you putting in it? She's like, I'm putting my life on the line for it. I'm like, I don't know who's I to take right now,

because you're both ridiculous. You're both ridiculous. You should. I mean, it's probably a bigger percentage of that I would guess. Well, I mean, if Portia is putting in most of the money, then, yeah, then it doesn't make sense that she has more ownership, but I don't know. But then at the same time, I imagine Lauren's probably doing more of the work. And so finally, they're fighting and Lauren's like, you know, my whole life is about you. And like, I don't want that anymore. And like, you know, like, I, like,

I, let's separate our jobs. I'm fine to separate it, whereas like, I'll work for the salon. I'm not gonna work for you. And then Portia just starts to get, she just starts going, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will, we will. I'm like the poor girls that lay the next table on their laptops, I'm like, oh my god, she's broken. For her to say I don't help her fucking bitch, it hurts me beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond.

Like, oh my god, someone slapped her. Please slap the back over fucking head. We will, we will, we will. All right, now let's get to a girl and a child battle, because it's meanie, and since you're talking in meanie's kitchen, it's like, oh, it's a kitchen child. Girl, I didn't know what to expect coming up here. Yeah, they're gathered around the kitchen island.

So Cynthia's in a safe place. Safe space. So Neemie basically says that Greg is sick and he's always sick, but this time he was in tears and she sent him to the hospital basically. And Cynthia's like, oh no. Does he have tingling child? And she's like, yes girl, he's got tingling. She's like, shouldn't paint child? Yes girl, he's got shouldn't paint. Oh look. Like child, girl child, girl child, girl child. Girl child, girl child, girl child.

Yeah. So then they start talking about Will. And Nini approves of Will. She's like, I like that he's bare-nastier friends. Friends. Oh, Cynthia's like, um, you know what? I didn't even seem coming, Chath. You know, that's what all that's also what people say about murderous, okay? This guy is creepy. I'm telling you right now. Yeah, exactly. But she's like, I just want to date. That's what I'm doing right now.

Just I'm just dating. I'm like, I bet want to date. That's why I'm doing right now. Just I'm just dating. I'm like I bet her next date is gonna be met with like a mustache and a monocle. I mean like good date you my My name is Matt you from Paris France. It's just Mr. Peanut It's got a cane I'm curiously strong. No, that's altruids He didn't even bring his cell phone on the date peanuts don't have cell phones okay What is this cell phone I just learned about electricity That's Matt doing mr. Peanut. Oh, so charade over her party is like this disco ball needs wire

It needs to be plugged in did you know that and keep that for security. I'm not happy with this. So you got electricity. You got electricity. She sucks that a disco ball has to be plugged in and hung. Now granted, the party planner should have brought her an extension court at least. And wire. I mean, we're shown up. That would have helped too. But the, but, but Tiffany, the party planner is missing an action. And so Shre is like, Shre calls her up and is like, I gotta get this up. I got, it's like, I got four hours to the party and this gotta go up. And like, where are you? And she's like, I'll be there soon. I'll be there soon. And then we got our beautiful, who gonna check me, boo? Yeah, where she

and the first party planner just get up and start screaming in each other's faces, which was amazing classic. Can't imagine why Tiffany scared. Yeah. Well, Tiffany should not have taken the job if she was afraid of that. I mean, I'm sorry. If you're a party planner, I feel like one thing that you have to be used to are demanding as clients, especially ones that are on real housewives shows. You have to know they'll be demanding. So like the fact that you can't deal with it, I mean, is this like Johnny's party planning company because this is ridiculous? Well, as someone who's worked in party planning forever, I mean, yes, you expect people to be assholes, but Saraje's terrifying, okay. Saraje's a special case. She's like, where are you? I'm trying to have this. Where do the special case she's like where you but you know she's been screaming i will ruin your god damn life oh yeah i know there's probably a lot of really crazy shit that happened off

camera i love what he tells her son she's like don't you when you got to be nice to a bitch cuz she holds the cards i was really hoping that we'd see the party planner and that will be the woman from that show um like my fab 40th fierce fierce I know guess what I know you put in a request for the band train to be here, but I got you something better An abstract opera performance fierce

You got you got you Please stop rewinding me five seconds Yes I have second to go I said fierce. I know I told you I'd get you a disco ball But instead I've gotten you popcorn balls which are sold at carnivals. FIIs! It's FIIs! It's a it's a phone ball and you can stick things in it like flowers or whatever crafts you

want. It's a crafting pot in our FIIs. FIIs! Boop, boop, boop, boop, you guys are f-f-f-f-f-f-f! You guys are f-f-f-f-f! So Cynthia goes to pick up Kenya and their Ken used to say, Yes, yes. Basically, you can be a forever.

I loved her afro pups actually. I thought they were great. And Cynthia's of course asking you about the husband. And are they having a lot of sex and Ken used like, two or three times a day, I had to get ice packs. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Has he even seen this house?

Has he even been here? Is it in New York? What are you talking about, Carrie Duber? Exactly. You had to get ice packs. From all the times you slammed your head with the phone when it goes to voice mail again So she said my husband loves me to be wifey

We dance and we play out whatever the song is saying. I'm like, yeah, hung up on you. Okay, so just that on a loop. Donna You must be a big fan of blondie and hanging on the telephone. Don't leave me hanging on the telephone home. How do I get you alone? Oh, sorry, dancing by myself or dancing on my own. Well, you're seeing heart, not Robin, right? I know, but you know, it's just songs that she's acting out for a little bit. Yeah, oh, by myself, don't want to be, oh, by myself, with King in the closet.

I want to be where the people are. Under the sea level. That's So let's see. So Kenya, so Kenya, so Simba is talking about dating and stuff and Kenya is like, my advice to you is to take it slow and then Kenya, Simba is like, Cha, Cha, you just got a look. You just got me to take it slow. Cha, double Cha. So funny. So let's see here. Sheree. We go back to Sheree's and she's still, she's still yelling. Everybody to do everything is hilarious to me. I just, I'm every notice funny. It's like,

the girls at kid to text about canceling. Oh no, the kid gets the text about canceling. Tiffany gets it. Yeah, the kid. She's 31, but Tiffany, she gets a call and she gets the text and that this is what Tiffin. I'm sorry, not Tiffany. T Terry. Terry, is it Terry or Terry or whatever? I just think Tiffany a lot. Is that the wrong thing? Well, Tiffany is a party planner, but the daughter's name I think is T.L. I don't know. She's about around as much as Kenya's husband. I don't even believe she's real at this point. Either way, she gets the text and Tiffany goes, unfortunately, there seems to be some tension and has turned into a situation that has not aligned with my business practices, so I will not be in attendance. Shut the fuck up bitch. You know what? I hate when people write

right senses like that or write emails or talk like that like this like overly formalized language that just sounds ridiculous. I hate that. Yes, while she's doing it to have written confirmation for court basically. Well, I understand that, but I just, I love this, like, you know, when people want to be very serious in business like I will write informal ways, because there's a way to write formally that makes that is proper. She's like here to for the table linens. She'll be acquired from this place of business slash address. Yeah, the situation has not aligned with my business practices. They haven't aligned with your business practices because you haven't shown up yet.

Yeah, that's Tiffany's way of saying, bitch, you're scary and you're not going to rip apart my entire professional life on camera. Okay, bitch. That's exactly right. Pick up your table, close yourself. So, Sheree runs around yelling, Tussueba, Limeens, Blasik forks.

Just going crazy and she goes, if she don't fucking show a fear grandmother. Tusses, Tusses bitch. Because when she gets like really mad, she gets in there. Yeah. And she of course also adds this like sanctimonious layer of this is for my mother. This is my mother.

You're doing this to my mother. It's like, okay calm down. Your mom will be happy no matter what. Because she loves you. She goes, I think that Tiffany is trying to make it look like we threw her under the bus. She threw herself under the bus. She stood in front of the bus and waited for the bus. Hell, she came from under the bus. She came from under the bus. She came from under the bus. She came from under the baseball. To the bus. Busca, this one. You got bus. This one, bus. Busca, this

one. What? This one. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Why are you man? Why are you man? That the under the bus isn't finished. That's not the point. The point is the main bus. Get on the main bus. Get out from the bus. You watch KPR. You under the bus? Tiffany's like, it has come to my attention

that under the bus is unfinished. And this is not a line with my health code violation practices. It has come, therefore, to the ether that in there to which the bus is in so much as above me that I am suddenly finding myself in a situation where I am aligned beneath the bus and therefore due to tension and circumstances that are circumstantial, I therefore shall be not partaking in bus activities. We're in the middle of this. It was things more clearly. She's like, yeah, 70's,

I'll say, calf tam party, I'm disco duck honey. The only thing that Tiffany forgot to use was the word transpired. That's a favorite word when people want to sound extra serious. I'll show you transpired. Because the tension has transpired at this party. Because of what has transpired with this tension, I must step out. You're about to expire.

What's your transpire? Bitch. Bitch. Get this out of me. Get off her mic. You got transpired? Did your part identify as trans? You got transpire. Did your Your pot identify as trans you got transpire You got transfer

So for it uh Kenyaz Kenyaz like oh, I'm a wife I have a closet for my husband and all the clothes have tags. Yeah That was like I was like are those tags of he's like she got tags in those clothes. It's like okay It wasn't just me. Yeah, I mean come on Ken. Yeah, like for someone who has faked this many boyfriends You would at least think you know how to take off the tax at least find some scissors At least So party Oh, so party. Uh, charay calls Thelma. Now I wrote Thelma.

Now I'm confused. But then I wrote Thelma. Thelma, not Thelma. Thelma is from Scooby-Doo, right? And Chicago. Ah, the musical. That's right. She's like, he had a comment, charay.

I love how she taught this part. I love him more. I love her, Velma. I didn't hear how she talked. I sort of didn't process it. I like Velma. I love you baby. She's got kind of a growly kind of muppet voice.

She's really cute. I wish doing heavenly and quad mixed together. It's weird. So as a disco party, Porsche is in a giant afro. And Nini is like, Nini of course is continuing this ridiculous feud with Porsche. And she's like, Nini of course is continuing this ridiculous feud with Portia and she's like, I haven't seen Portia since Cynthia's 50th party

and I don't see her now. Really because her butt is moving right up and down your face at the moment. Like those girls were dancing. It looks super fun. It looks really good party. So she's like, you see? Who's the disco ball?

Lou, they're mine. Lou a disco ball. Blue their mind. Blue their mind. And Kenia's doing all these splits on the dance floor. And Porsche's like, whoever has been these, he has been bending them legs back because she is down that ground, spin wide open. And I was like on the floor laughing, bending them back. Porsche is funny.

I feel like she doesn't even get as much credit for being as funny as she is. Yeah, she's fucking funny. But she's ridiculous. It's like the things that she's being accused of. Like any housewife I love, really. I mean, every housewife I love, all the accusations against them are true. I mean, they're correct. But what are you gonna do? I still love them. Like, what can I tell you? I still love Fadra. I, well, you know what they are. Yeah, I sort of secretly think I love almost all the housewives. Yeah, I do too. On some levels that I hate the most even Quinn. Yeah, well, I've always said like Tamara Barney is one of the ones I just hate the most. I see right through her. I think she's evil.

I think she's satanic, but I'd probably be best friends with Tamer if I ever met her. You really would think. You really, really would. I like snarky fun people like that. It's just don't get too close because she'll ruin your life, you know? By the way, at the Erica Jane thing, Brian Moil and asked Erica Jane who would be on your all-star real housewives roster. And she's sort of named like standard, like super famous real housewives, but she and Brian both agreed that Lee and Lockon should be on real on like an All Star real housewives lineup, which made me happy because I feel like I just want Dallas to get more and more love. Yeah, but she also said the ones she met, you know, so that doesn't count. She's like, well, the ones that I I like I'll say I'm at the Rinda one time. Oh yeah I guess. Oh no you're

supposed to pick your favorites. Come on Erica Jane. Well this is not the end because there was a scene where Nina is driving to see Greg at the hospital and he's like, they're about to do surgery on me. And she's like, well, tell him to wait. I'm 10 minutes away, Greg, which is not really how it works. The doctor was like, yeah, we can't wait. Yeah.

And then she's like, well, I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there in like five minutes. He's like, come now, come, come, I'm going to be there. She's like in the Starbucks drive through. Poor Greg. it is scary. I'm gonna be right there Greg. The next, she's like trying on a, trying on a calf tab. She's stopped for junior mints.

Maybe she's stopped for junior mints. Junior mints. What is her jury? Yeah, no, but Greg was scared, which is, you know, it's scary, it's scary. I love Greg, but he knows what it's like to be scared. I don't love Greg. I mean, he's with Nini.

I actually don't love Greg. I kind of find him to be kind of annoying, sweet, but annoying. Like, he just sort of, I don't know. I find that like Greg's centric scenes are not my favorite. But I do appreciate that he and I do believe that he and he really do love each other. And, you you know that's scary you want to be with your boo in moments like that. Yeah, but I don't like talking about depressing scenes so that's the good luck. Yeah, good luck, right? Yeah, I don't like talking about

depressing things either so I'm glad we're ending the episode on that note. Yeah, but I will yeah, I'll end it on a happier note, which is I'm going to give a shout out to one of our listeners and one of someone who follows us on Instagram. I'm pulling it up right now because it's really, really worth looking at. His name is Bryce. Bryce T Carson, that's his Instagram name. Go follow him. The reason why I'm giving him a shout out, he made a Christmas tree, and he decorated it very tastefully, by the way. From afar, it's very tasteful. All the ornaments

are real housewives. It's every single real housewife he made into an ornament, and he put them on the tree and at the top were his favorites and at the bottom were his least favorites and it is kind of brilliant It is amazing at the top amazing tree. Yeah, Durinda is at the very top. Kyle is at the very bottom. I kind of wish I Bryce you should put more pictures because I want to see who is where in there and like how they all rank where and how they all rank. But everyone go check out his tree because he did a really, just as tree decorating, it's just a really well decorated tree, but the fact that it's actually hilarious

and also that there's a ranking to it, it's kind of genius. And I say very well done. It really is good. Yeah, I hope he posts a lot more pictures because I want to see every single house who I've been the ranking. Because he seems to kind of agree with us on a lot of them So you know, I love a tree that agrees with me. Also, thank you to Kirsten who's one of the friends of the show she sent us pins that she found that say I'm tired

From below to I don't know from that I heard which we will be wearing on our backpacks for the rest of our lives. Thank you for those. Everyone else, go get you some tickets for Houston, Texas, baby. When is that date, March, right? March 9th. It's March 9th. March 9th. Go get those. Hopefully, um, no, hopefully, I'm just excited for that. And we also, by the way, we have merchandise.

Our wine glasses have sold out. They're temporarily out of stock, but we will get new wine glasses down the line, and not that part on the line. Right now we've got pint glasses, we've got t-shirts, and then we're about to restock the wine glasses and add some coffee cups, some coffee bags. So get your eyes over to watch what crap

and find those links and goodbye some stuff. And thank you so much to everyone who's bought stuff. And happy Thanksgiving for those of you who only want to look at me. Don't want to look at me. Don't want to look at me too, I trust the week. And you're welcome for us bringing back. Burnin' up, burnin' up, burnin' up.

Because that's our sure man turkey time. Yeah. Love you guys. Bye. Yeah. Love you guys. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to waterer Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.