Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Don't Be Tardy for the White Party

Episode Date: November 28, 2017

Did you get your invite to Nene's Girls & Gays Never Forget: Non-Holocaust Edition White Party Seafood Soiree Sponsored By The American Association of Clams and Scallops? Well, Kim Zolcia...k didn't either, but that didn't stop her from crashing the partay. Come check out our recap of this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsors! Kelly Grant, the grant master! Cindy Berger's Gerson, what an amazing person! Just saying, okay! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. And Kristi Daudi, the OG Prem-Sapreme! Watch what crapence, watch what crapence, who cares what happens when there's so much that The OG Prem Supremes To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crapens.
Starting point is 00:01:22 And to follow us on social media go to watch ourrapins.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what happens that's patreon.com slash watch what happens. Hey everybody, welcome to watch what happens. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Banta Blender podcast. Joining me on this beautiful cyber Monday is the man who makes Amazon Prime work for him. It's Ronnie Karen from trashdogtv.com and the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well hello, it's Cyber Monday. Yeahashlocktv.com and the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, hello. It's CyberRonday. Yes. CyberRonday. Thank you, Cyber Monday, for my pregnancy pillow. Yes. I will never forget you.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Thank you, Cyber Monday, for my mattress, Tauber. It's funny, because I feel like one of those things could lead to the other. But Ronnie and I just recorded a bonus episode for the week and we talked about our thanks-givings and our friends-givings. We talked about the movie Lady Bird and more importantly we wound up going through going into some strange Cyber Monday, K-Hole as we shopped for good deals on Amazon live on our bonus episodes. That's you know some good exciting content for everyone to enjoy. Yeah, that bonus episode cost me money.
Starting point is 00:02:50 What the hell? Yeah, well, I'm very excited for my mattress topper. It was marked on like $150. So I feel like I've really made a good find. Good find. And I'm excited to see how your pregnancy pillow works out, especially given that you're not pregnant. That's a lot of experience.
Starting point is 00:03:08 My bagel pregnancy. If they had one of those scooters that the really big people at Disney World use, I would have gotten one of those, the jazzy girl. Me a jazzy, I'll be in one. I saw a lot of those scooters when I was in Texas last week. That's right, I was in Texas for an hour and a half on a layover where I dodged many scooters and had a horrific bagel at Einstein bagel,
Starting point is 00:03:37 something and others, and then had even worse fried chicken at Popeyes. I was like, what is happening, we're in Texas. The fast food is supposed to be amazing here. Not at the airport. Yeah, it was terrible. Doesn't count. It doesn't count.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Also Einstein wasn't known for bagels. So just stop calling the Einstein bagels everybody. Who would have? Oh, that guy was great at math. Can't wait to have his bagels. Never going back unless they decided to become our sponsor. In which case, welcome to Einstein bagel bakery. Hello, Einstein.
Starting point is 00:04:06 So while the madness of Thanksgiving was happening, Bravo gave us a little bit of a break. No real housewives in New Jersey. No married to medicine. But Sunday nights, back to the grind, real houses of Atlanta came on strong. But before we talk about real houses of Atlanta, one thing that we talked about last week, we said we would have an announcement for today. Well, what is it? We do have an announcement.
Starting point is 00:04:35 We are adding another show to our 2018 experience. Of course, we already have a show in Houston. We've sold over 200 tickets so far. I think there's probably about 200 left. So that's awesome. Thank you everyone who's bought a ticket to that already. And if you're in Texas, don't go to Einstein's, come to our show in Houston March 9th. But feel free to bring some Einstein's because bad reviews aside, my mouth is still open. We still like free food. We have another show to add.
Starting point is 00:05:12 And this time we are going back to New York City on February 20th to the Barry Ballroom. Tickets are gonna go on sale this Friday, which is December 1st. So everyone, please come to our show. Our New York show last year, or this year, this past summer was beyond amazing. And we're hoping to top it with this Barry Ballroom show. And especially, it's like the Barry Ballroom. This is like crazy. These are like, whoa, this is crazy. Like major musical. I just look today, Liam Gallagher is playing today from Oasis.
Starting point is 00:05:45 We're gonna be there too. We're almost as good as half of Oasis. You guys, small goals, okay? Small goals, baby goals. So we'll have more details about things like if they're going to be VIP tickets or whatever that will be Will tickets are going to go on sale on Friday, but stay tuned in case anything changes There's we still need to get a few more little confirmations in but For what it looks like it we're gonna be in New York City
Starting point is 00:06:19 February 20th So if you're in New York New Jersey Jersey, Connecticut, 30th, yeah. 30th. Yeah, it's amazing. And we're hoping to do more, I know our Boston and DC people are like sending us hate mail at this point for not coming to their cities. We are in talks with theaters. I'm telling you, I promise.
Starting point is 00:06:41 But we are trying. OK, we're doing our best. We're trying. And please just bear with us, we're doing our best. We're trying and please just bear with us. We are doing our best. You're we're trying like Kim Zollcey, back on one episode. That's some effort she made. I mean, she just came in. Her face didn't even move. She just screamed as loud as she could and caused as much as she possibly could. That's basically what we're doing right now with Boston and DC, okay?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah, exactly. We are just coming in and using calling having fake husbands. Let's move on to real housewives. If it later, shall we be? Let's do that. Oh, one last thing. I believe tickets are gonna go on sale
Starting point is 00:07:22 at 10 a.m. Pacific on Friday, but we will get that confirmed this week. Yeah, and we generally announce those on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and stuff. So go there. Yeah, go be sure to monitor our Instagram and Twitter. One thing you can do is on Instagram, I think you can set notifications up for people. As soon as we post something, you'll get a notification. As soon as we post something on Instagram, so just turn those on for the way you're always in the know. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:56 The great news. Now, guys, I have great news. Greg's alive. Yeah. Now, I don't know that this is great news to Neenie, because Neenie, through most of this episode, looks like she wants to hit Greg back upside the head.
Starting point is 00:08:10 She just wants to hit him. He's like cleaning window seals going like, is this cleaning? Now here's what I said about parties. She's like shut up, Greg. She's like a very slow localized room. The room, but that only hangs up by the windowsill like I bought this damn room. But and it only hangs up by the windowsill.
Starting point is 00:08:33 We always call Ken from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the flesh room, but because he's just wandering around bumping into walls and turning around and wandering the other way but Greg is like a room and now, and it's making Ken look like one of those new room buzz with one of the little mop things on the front. It actually takes time to scrub a little bit, as it makes the long.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Well, maybe Greg is into room butt. Maybe Greg is like a shoe buffer, you know? It just sort of stands there, has like some nice little puffy things at the bottom, and then you stick your shoe in and it's like, boom! No, Greg is one of those golf ball finders. stands there has like some nice little puffy things at the bottom and then you stick your shoe and it's like No, Greg is one of those golf ball finders. We were looking at on Amazon Cyber Monday He's like it's over there Maybe he's over there. Maybe he's a son of a soundbar and it's just like I don't really know what to do with this
Starting point is 00:09:19 It's like a thing do I put it in front do I put it in front of TV or behind the couch? Where does Greg go? Greg is my new pregnancy pillow from Cyber Monday, okay? He's just kind of curling around, so you can fit your pot belly wherever it needs to be while you sleep. He Greg's sort of like the Insta Pot, the Cyber Monday Insta Pot. It's like, I mean technically,
Starting point is 00:09:40 he does six different things, but I feel like I only needed to use him for like one thing and I'm not sure if he fits in my kitchen. Like no matter what you end up with a stew. Ha ha ha ha ha. I was really hoping to get a nice crispy skin on this but it's just sort of went and sad. I think that's right.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I'm with a beef stew. Yeah. So Neemie is such a good wife. She's making him bring in his own suitcase and stuff. The man just had a heart attack. She's like, are you okay rolling that? Yeah. I'm sure I'm supposed to be doing this. She's like, Ray egg. The conversation was killing me. Oh God, I hate when my phone rings on my fucking computer go decline That's the worst and that's stupid. I can't stand that chime and
Starting point is 00:10:35 Like the worst and you remember there used to be a different time there used to be a different chime like back like Six years ago and then the Apple changed to that chime. I'm like, at least give us a new chime because this chime, dun, dun, dun, dun, I hate it. And I don't, you know what I really hate is when people have that chime as their ringer because it's like, you know what this is?
Starting point is 00:10:57 Yeah. Well, at least the Foley makes it sound like that. But I'm like, yeah. Yeah, she is, is that one, but it plays like dramatic music over. It's like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun And you don't you hear it everywhere, doesn't like that chime just drive you nuts? Why do anything do like a ding or like a I don't know. I just don't I don't understand. I don't understand when people don't don't change it from the chime. Well, the only ones that you can get that aren't effing annoying are the ones that you buy.
Starting point is 00:11:38 And then they're like it's $5 for this ringer. How about you fuck off? And also I don't need an entire Miley Cyrus song playing every time my phone rings, okay? Well, you know what I did is that I found that the ringtone of the phones that ring at C2U from 24. You know that, do, do, do, do, do, do, which is basically like an office phone. So when my phone rings, it sounds like an office phone, but it's quietly a pop culture reference to 24. Not quietly every time it rings I'm like where are you Jack? What can I do to help you?
Starting point is 00:12:10 I'm going behind the C.T.U. heads head. But the funny part is that sometimes it'll ring and someone will go oh is that from 24? It's like how funny is it that those phones on 24 were so omnipresent that people who watch the show were like, oh yeah, like 24, huh? I know, I feel like author's people recognize that tone and recognize Chloe from 24. Especially after she turned golf on the latest one. Anyway. Yeah, golf, Chloe. No one needs that.
Starting point is 00:12:41 That was the worst in that like ridiculous husband of hers. No. Yeah, I was like, pause and never went back. I think I made it through like half. She had like a cat eye, a smoky cat eye. I was like, this is Chloe. She's supposed to be in a macroma vest. Yeah, it's like she's not angry enough to pull off Goth.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Like she was already Goth just being regular Chloe. Like I don't need whatever. They've done some shit to Chloe. Like there was that one, I think it was season three when she had to hide a baby under her desk. I was like, do you remember that? It was like, it was like Kim's baby or it was like Kim's boyfriend's baby
Starting point is 00:13:15 and it was like, they're like, Chloe, please just hide this baby under your desk. She was like, oh, fine. And then like one episode, the baby starts to cry or something. I was like, Chloe, is there a baby under your desk? She's like, I was, I was covering for chase. People always say that the Kim getting stuck in the, in the, in the, in the, the, the, the Cougar trap was the time that 24 jumped the shark. No, it was the baby under the desk.
Starting point is 00:13:38 If you're asking me. Yeah. I loved when they nuked Burbank though. That was hilarious. It was Valencia. It was Valencia, which was really a travesty because we have so few red lobsters as it is. And the fact that they nuked one of them is not fair. There's a red lobster in Valencia, there's one in Monrovia, there's one in Gardina, and that's like, Inglewood too. Aim for Azusa! Aim for Azusa! Speaking of things that need to be nuked. Let's go back to me, Neenie
Starting point is 00:14:08 So Greg she's like Greg you feeling okay bleep loop and he's like Thought they was gonna look for some stuff with some die and then they started crying And then they started crying because of vain collapse and there was no blockage. And then I found out the way I understand it. My heart beats normal a few beats and then it slows down and then it stops. It's like, we could have told you that we've been watching you for nine years Me neat is just looking at him like please die and she goes I thought now if Greg doesn't come back here like Who's gonna file the taxes, you know? And she she tells them look you've got to do something there's pacemakers for low-heart beat
Starting point is 00:15:02 Okay, thanks for your help wife She's like hey ever heard of a pacemaker. Get one. Thanks, Neenie. He probably got married. He probably, if his heart's stopping, he, yeah, that's, that actually probably is pretty good advice. And Greg is sort of person where you do have to spell things out pretty clearly. Greg, your heart is not working. You need a pacemaker. Greg. Your heart is not working. You need a pace maker, great. Blue, blue, blue. So over the...
Starting point is 00:15:28 He probably just thought, Nini was there the whole time, just listening to the sound effects coming from the heart machine. Blue, blue, blue. It's like, oh, she's here. He's like, you stop talking to me all of a sudden. She's like, that was your heart, great.
Starting point is 00:15:42 It's like, Nini, why were you yelling at me? What you're talking about? about you know last time we went Craig that was your heart stopping That was me telling you to clean the pool you're feeling okay now right here's a net Did something fall over Yeah, but I don't even know what it sounded like a a cougar cage actually. It was like metal Is it that baby under your desk? I don't know what that was okay, so breaks back. Yeah, so so now we go over to Shere's house
Starting point is 00:16:18 Where there's talk about getting a gift for someone Shreys talking to one daughter and then Cairo like you got a gift You got a gift? for someone shraeze talking to one daughter and then Cairo like you gotta get you gotta get booboo booboo you gotta candle you gotta get card you gotta get all I want a candle one candle Cairo gotta candle so uh dr jack Daniels comes by and he's justares up at Cairo. Cairo answers the door and Jack Daniels is like, whoa, arch you nice and tall. I was like, you pervert. Yes. Get your ass into the house and keep your hands off the Cairo, sir.
Starting point is 00:16:56 It was kind of hot because I think we've seen a lot of pornos that start that way, right? Like, like, it's usually called something like, I made out with my mom's life coach. You know, like, my mom's not here right now. Well, maybe I'll take a seat and I'll wait for her. Okay, can I get you some of the drink? Oh no, I spilled it on my shirt.
Starting point is 00:17:16 We've seen it all before. Yeah. Please, Dr. Jack Daniels, take off that shirt and let me dry it for you. Because dry milk smells for this. dry smell smells like it's getting hot So basically He basically they so Shireen and Dr. Jack Daniels go out to one of the balconies and they're talking and Shiree's like Oh, this life coach is hard. I mean I should've got just gotten myself a bottle of Jack Daniels
Starting point is 00:17:43 My gosh, Shiree you sort of made the Jack Daniels joke last week. So yeah, either come up with new Jack Daniels jokes and let him die. Oh, Jack Daniels certainly is a gentleman, Jack. But she gets she's invited to speak at a coalition for domestic violence. There's some charity event. And I'm like, how are you going to speak for them? You haven't even spoken to your kids yet.
Starting point is 00:18:04 She's like, okay, everybody. Thank you for coming. My kids aren't here, right? Hi, bro, get out. So, uh, yeah, Dr. Jack Dan, we're not by way, are we sure he's even a doctor? I'm not sure. I swear to you, he works at City Bank. So I said that whole scene last week took place in a city bank and we all know it. Okay. But always love it out. He's more of a doctor than the guy that Sheree dated a few seasons ago. But so he basically is like, I have some homework for you. This is what I want you to do.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Do something special for you. Get out of the hotel room, good beach, get a massage. Do something special for you. I'm like, isn't that Sheree's whole life? That's all she does. Goes to yoga, get some massage. Do something. Here's your homework. Just be a glutton. Do whatever the fuck you want. Build a house you can't afford. Put it on your mom's credit. Get an ass in the morning. Like, I'll shriest on all these things. You know what?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Here's your assignment. Make an iron on an iron on image of you holding a bone in your mouth. You can wear to a party. Like, I don't know what kind of homework this is, but I would have actually gone to school if I had homework like that. Yeah, exactly. So candy and Todd. Boring. Well, yeah, candy is a candy and Todd are goingga be heading to New York because she's
Starting point is 00:19:26 gonna be on the cover see no rally essence magazine bucket list right now I'm so excited so she should have a magazine called Sina. Riley. And the index is like cooking for cooking. Go to see now page 36. Opinions. See now page 12. It's more of an iPad app actually.
Starting point is 00:20:03 So Riley comes through. Riley. And she picks up Ace and Ken gets like, see, no, Riley, what you do, you don't know, do, wow, here in New York. She's like, I don't know. Are you gonna take Ace to the zoo?
Starting point is 00:20:17 I hate the zoo. Ken gets like, so then Ken de goes like, I like how she goes. She goes, I hate the zoo. Well, I mean, I hate walking in the zoo. Yes girl See that's another girl who would get a jazzy just to have just to go through the zoo So Candy then goes to like brush some hair out of Riley's face and like her shirt pops open And I just did you notice that notice that? Because everyone was,
Starting point is 00:20:45 there was just like this quiet mumbling chorus of candy sound effects. I was like, and then Tom was like, and Rouse, and everyone was like, this was like a defining moment in the mumble core movement.
Starting point is 00:21:02 I liked Riley Shirt, it said, Black by popular demand. Oh, funny. I was trying to read what it said. That's hilarious. That's so funny. So she's like, I'm trying to find out how to bomb this time for myself and my family. And then Don Juan comes over. I've never noticed Don Juan's name was all one word. Oh, yeah, yeah I feel like there should be a space, but that would make it harder to get a Twitter. Still They're probably should be a space But you know Don Juan he I think it makes sense
Starting point is 00:21:38 Because he always seems very rushed and frazzled so it makes sense that he doesn't have time for a space We got to be the airport 20 minutes. We gotta go do it around. I can't remember the last time I packed his suitcase. All right, all of the little little little little little. Where's that mouse? And Todd's like, hey, you wanna help me pack?
Starting point is 00:21:57 Thanks, that was your whole story of my FF. And Ace actually did help him, which was surprising. I was like, you were one and you already understand the concept of like picking up a piece of clothing and putting it in the house. Because Canty knows how to raise children. If I had a child, it would already be swiffer sweeping my entire living room. That's what you have children for. They work. Here, stir this.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Okay. Now put it in the oven. You know, I forgot to mention, this is a little bit of a bonus episode callback, but Lady when I was watching it I thought of you Ronnie because when I was watching it I didn't know what it was about and then next thing I knew it was like we're doing auditions for the school musical I was like oh my god where is Ronnie he would love this he would love this. What's it in that sense and was there a fat gay kid choreographing it for the All Girls Catholic School. They did a production of Marilee V. Rill along. I don't think they would do that in Catholic school. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Why? I don't know. I don't know, it's too much. It's like, son time is too much. I know, son time is a bold move for a Catholic school. It's like when people want to do, yeah, it's like when they want to do into the woods and then they get to music and they're like,
Starting point is 00:23:02 holy shit, this doesn't even make sense. Well, you'll see. When you see the movie, you'll see, I mean, it's not like a, this is not, it's not like obviously it's not a spoiler, they do, they, it's not, it's not a musical. But the way they handled it was just like, oh my god, this is so, this is me, this is me and Brigaduin right here. Well, this fake storyline that they set up but didn't follow through with on the show was odd because done Don't want it's like now. Let me tell you there's no hotel. Okay, cuz everything sold out Everything in New York is sold out sir
Starting point is 00:23:35 Yeah, you're right. This was a storyline that they just decided to drop. I mean I'm gonna Got that what about Trump tower. I know nobody's standing no more Trump tower. I know nobody's standing no more. Now, Trump tower. And even we have to talk about, yeah, I'm sorry, babe, would you say the driver would have to what? No, I just had even the driver laughed one. She said that. Yeah, that was funny. We have to talk about this. And you show Stritt that's coming out because I saw the commercial for it. Yeah, it's only people running around naked. I don't need that in my life. does anybody? No, but our new friend Richie DJ Richie Skye is on it
Starting point is 00:24:09 My other friend is on there too, and he's so cute and sweet, but I don't and he's not like the sky works out like every Freaking second of the day like he's earned the right to be naked on TV Nobody needs to see me holding a flat screen in front of my naked butt on TV. Yeah. Okay, I did not earn it. No, no. I mean, I might check out one episode just to just, I'm interested enough to check out one episode, but I feel like, I mean, it's debuting next week along with a million different shows and we are going to be up to our eyeballs. So I mean, I don't anticipate having a recap of it, but I might sample it and
Starting point is 00:24:45 then be like, this is what it was about nakedness. Yeah. Poki, but what do you got dimpled but nakedness? Because they just keep showing the poor homely guy and his dimples on his butt. Which is the homely guy, which one? I don't want to say homely because that's not nice. I didn't even look at his face. It's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all,
Starting point is 00:25:03 it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, that's not nice. I didn't even look at his face. It looks at their faces. All you see are these bodies. He's just like a normal, you know, it's like that. It's like that. It's slightly thinner me basically running around naked, which is why I was offended. I get it. So then we go to, now we get some quick shots of what's going on around Atlanta. And we see Kenya with an intern who to me was sort of like the black answer to Charlene Yee. This like very small, Tweet intern and kind of like, okay, when we do a display, we put the shampoo here next to each other and this girl was like, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:25:38 And she goes, do you have a nut, but, haha. And the girls like, no. And she goes, rule number one, always be prepared. The girls like, I go to Columbia University. I think I can handle how to arrange shampoos. Didn't you have a Sam Poo party with no Sam Poo in the bottles? How about you listen to your own advice, bitch?
Starting point is 00:25:59 Yeah, bitch. The bitch, I mean, bitch. Bitch is rude. Bitch. Batch is funes rude. Bats. Bats is fun. It's a fun air. So um uh eventually we land on Porsche at home and her cousin. Oh sorry surprise burp.
Starting point is 00:26:14 I'm sorry that wasn't everyone's ears. Well it stopped you. It stopped you on purpose because Porsche should have a line called Porsche at home. Porsche at home. It's like I'm a garden at home. Except it's just like 120 pages of pictures of Porsche. Just like a hand on her hip had told it like this is me. Yeah, see if you like Jeffrey, what do you want to eat? I'd love some porcelain. Okay. And then she just leaves and goes shopping. Never comes back. Never comes back. The recipe is really like, okay, it's like,
Starting point is 00:26:46 the recipe is perfect roast chicken. I like to make this for Jeffrey and it says, ingredients, okay. And that's it, that's all it says on the page. It's just a picture of Porsche and the Chick-fil-A drive-through. Jeffrey starving to death back home. crew. Jeffrey starving to death back home. My friend T.R. he's coming over for dinner. So it's like it's cool and stuff but like I don't know if I want to have a friend. Like we are you gonna actually cook something for? No. Oh my God. So Portia and Tipi and her
Starting point is 00:27:22 cousin Tiffany are there and Lauren comes over and they start to rehash their whole fight that they had last episode. Yeah. And Lauren's trying to be nice. Like, she does this like, hi, good to see you. And then her smile just completely drops from this miserable frown. Yeah. And then Lauren basically cries because she feels like Portia's going to get too big for
Starting point is 00:27:43 her and then just leave her alone and get a real executive assistant. Yeah, she's gonna be on the street with her daughter and she's like crying like real. She had a full spiral. She was like, this was kind of crazy because Porsche is like, Here, come to here, come sit right next to me. She's like, I just, I just, like, what if this empire grows too big? And what if you don't need me? What if you need like a real executive assistant?
Starting point is 00:28:03 And then what happens to me? What do I do? What am I training for? What's my life? What am I doing with myself? Where's my money come from? I'm gonna be on the streets. I'm gonna have to trick myself out I'm gonna be horny and out and I'm gonna be like busted at the courier by Mary. I'm going to jail I can't go to jail. I'm too young for jail. What if I meet Apollo and jail? What if we fall in love and then face us on my ass? What do I do? Hold on! Let me put out some stiletto heels and indexes so we can have a serious talk. Hula, hula, hula, hula, hula, hula, hula.
Starting point is 00:28:27 So, Porsche's like, Porsche's like, Lauren, I feel like I intimidated you not to tell me stuff. Now, come here, I'm your sister. If I don't react, it's because it's tough love. Also, these eyelashes are like really heavy and like it's really hard for me to react with them on because it hurts I love those eyelashes were humongous. Yeah, it was she was in full drag makeup for this They look like hand puppets glued to her head like it looks it looked really really heavy Yeah, it looked like she actually found some awnings on Black Friday and just like, it's like, just gonna tape them on. And Lauren's like,
Starting point is 00:29:10 but what if you need more than me? And what if I've done nothing to something like some fuss and Portia goes, Lauren, you think I don't care that you don't know a damn thing about a salon? I don't either. It's going to be the best salon ever. So then come in, Porsche is going to take your money and hand you a comb. Let me be like, bye. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:29:33 So then we go to Nini's house and her friend Monique spelled M Y and I to you. E so really should be mine. Eke. She shows up and as soon she showed up, I was like, wait a second. Didn't this girl go to Charleston with them back in the day and And then we did get like a flashback
Starting point is 00:29:48 of her on like a party bus with them. She was the one, was she the one whose husband, there was like some like candy has slept with the husband back in the day or a fadre had or something like that, right? I don't know, I don't remember, because I black out every season of every house which had the minute it's over. But they did show the clip of her saying, I've done it every day with my husband for 13 years, unless I'm out of town. Which, you know, good for you,
Starting point is 00:30:15 good for your husband, please don't ever let me hear that again. I think that's why she wasn't handed a peach. Yeah, she, yeah, exactly. She has like a vaguely Karen Huger quality about her so She comes over and you need to talk about how wonderful Monique is she's just great good old friend Etc. And you need to decide that she's gonna put together a white party and it's gonna be for the girls and for the gaze And it's gonna be called the girls and gaze party And then also called the white party never forget girls and gaze. Yeah, and by the gays, and it's gonna be called the girls and gays party. And then also called the white party,
Starting point is 00:30:46 never forget girls and gays. Yeah. And by the way, this Nini's gay brand and shows up too. So this is the crew that we have. And she's like, the theme of the party is gonna be never forget. And they're like, why never forget?
Starting point is 00:30:59 It's like, because Porsche came over here once and I didn't remember that she'd been to this house before. So it's gonna be a never forget, you're never gonna remember. I'm like, you know, in certain circles when you say never forget, you're talking about the Holocaust, just saying or 9-11 or 9-11. Yeah. Like, like, just so we need a calm, celebrate the never strongest theme. Yeah, I'm not really but of course it does end the same way With terrible it's horrible and senseless. It's a low-point in human history. Yes
Starting point is 00:31:38 Also like even like just taking the Holocaust in 9-11 out of Nini's party for a second never forget that is such a specific petty gripe and then to like name a party after it. It's just feels like Sloppy passive aggression, you know, especially because what is she even mad at portion like okay? Look, I know everybody mad at Portia in the world, okay, and I don't care that you care that I'm gonna stick up for Portia Cuz she at least makes me laugh. I said she has such strong eyelids, you know. But when Brandon's like, what's happening?
Starting point is 00:32:12 What's happening with her? And my knee is like, I love her and by Portia, what a nice girl. She's like, well, when I saw her, the door is closed, ding dong. And then the next text message, she said, she said, would you like to sit down? I want to find out why you're so angry. And me angry was not the right word. Why?
Starting point is 00:32:32 Yeah. I was like, you're mad. You're so good. Angry. You were literally angry and wouldn't speak to her. And then went on national TV and said she should be fired and called her fake and fraud. And she reached out to you privately, by the way. She reached out to you privately, okay? Like, this is stupid and this is, I think, I think this is why Neenie is hard for me. Because her fights are off of such small petty things, but not in a fun petty way. You know, like, I like someone who gets mad.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Like, I like a Karen Huger speaking of Karen Huger. I like that she got pissed that she couldn't sit at the center of a table. To me, that's hilarious pettingness. But this is to me, like, Neenie, I've got to pick a fight with someone, so I'm going to do this, and I'm going to be aggressive and mean and over the top about it, and it's so stupid that it doesn't feel... It's not only is it stupid, but it's given gravitas, where like Karen's was not given gravitas. It it was like look at this stupid bitch you want to be in the center of the table but need me being like she said angry
Starting point is 00:33:32 and I'm not down for angry and then it gives it the way like this is a real feud I'm like this is not real and then in that fight she got mad because Porsche said you know this it was just three ago. Why are you acting like it was so long ago that you went on TV to say this? And she's like, Oh, now you want to take it all the way back for two years. Well, I'm not doing that close the door. What? It doesn't even make sense where need is coming from. She just yells at people and then walks away. And because she can't win these fights. And ever since she started losing fights on this show a couple of years ago with what's her buns when it got fired? Yeah in the soup kitchen, which was one of my favorite things ever
Starting point is 00:34:09 It's like they're cooking for homeless people and need to just start like And couldn't even win the fight so she just walked away So now that's what she does in every fight. She says a bunch of stupid shit that doesn't make sense and then walks away Yeah, it's Yeah, I feel like I feel like this, and what's knowing is that obviously Bravo loves Nini so they put a lot of attention, they add a lot of like weight to these fights and it's a stupid fight, like it's a stupid, stupid fight. And I feel like we've had to sit through so many of these stupid Nini fights where she
Starting point is 00:34:42 gets pissed over something small. And again, if it's just like a dust up, you know, where she gets pissed over something small. And again, if it's just like a dust up, you know, where she's saying, bye wig, you know, that's hilarious. I like, I love that. But when we have to like endure a few that's based off of nothing, I mean, it's stupid and look at last season when you had like this candy and phager thing that had been like bubbling to the surface for years, finally comes ahead, Porsche gets into mix, and it just went in all these interesting ways. This is like nothing, it feels like Nini is just trying to like create something for TV.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Yeah, Nini is just too far up her own ass, you know? The other ones actually care what's happening with the other ones just because they're getting emotionally involved. Also, someone's like accusing you of possibly trying to rape them at some point in this extension. Like stuff like that. But Mimi's, Mimi's stuff is, I don't know, she's just yelling at, at this point, I feel like she's just yelling at a wall, like pay your taxes, okay? And on top of that, I almost feel like Mimi fighting with Portia is her way of being
Starting point is 00:35:40 like, oh well, Candy and Portia have this great feud. I want to take it. I want to have the feud now. And she's like, she's coming in and she wants the feud with Portia since, oh well, Candy and Porsche have this great feud. I want to take it. I want to have the feud now. And she's like, she's coming in and she wants the feud with Porsche since Candy had this epic feud with Porsche last season. Well, Candy is the most powerful one now by far. And so Porsche was wrong in that.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Do not get me wrong. But Porsche is an easy target. She's already laying on the ground being kicked. And so Nini's like, well, I'll be nice to Candy because I fucking with her. Nini needs to keep the stand job. And so Neenie's like, well, I'll be nice to Candy because I fuck him with her. You know, Neenie needs to keep this damn job. And that is a fun thing about this season is watching Neenie and now Kim come back in
Starting point is 00:36:12 and see what they'll do to keep their job. But we were just, we were just one DeShawn Snow short of a season one reunion. I mean, everyone was backed by the end of the episode. Or DeShawn, no one appreciated that $20. She raised it that charity I mean she's like my goal is to raise five million dollars. She raised like $20 Selling some swatch watches on my sound auction
Starting point is 00:36:35 Five million dollars for the swatch so anyway Can you go to meet Saraje? There's some bike place or something and can you tell lady? Hi, I love your hair. The girl goes, oh thanks, it's your product. I was like so water then. So you put some tap water in your hair today. Yeah, great job. Commissioned by the city of Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Can you have more hair product in every faucet? But that fluoride is really doing great for your bang, so I mean. So Shreya comes to meet up with Kenya. hair product in every faucet. But that fluoride is really doing great for your bangs, honey. Yeah. So Shrey comes to meet up with Kenya, and they're like, hi, hi, hi, hi. And in my mind, I was like, wait, did these guys, did they become friends again at the arena? I can never keep track.
Starting point is 00:37:17 And Kenya goes, you know, Shrey and my relationships are at office messias to stay up her basement. But, you know what, she was like really supported by marriage, so I'm cool with her. I was just like, I love when Kenya throws in those digs. It's just so great. And then they start telling us like who's more fit. And then Kenya just says a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Half of what Kenya says doesn't make sense, she goes, who's in better shape? Well, the proof is in the pudding. And there's a lot more pudding on me. So I'd say me. I think pudding is what we're all trying to get rid of. I think pudding is, yeah, I think pudding is an indictment. I know you thought this through.
Starting point is 00:37:58 It's in your talking head. It's the thing, like I know you wrote this down, which makes it sadder, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't, that's the wrong expression to use in this case. Like, she's like, who's more fit? Well, an apple a day keeps the dark through a way, and I've been having 10 apples.
Starting point is 00:38:19 No, no, no. Girl, your party was off the chain! I love that part where you told me you improved my relationship. That's all she can hear, you know. And then Sir Aigahs, well, if you have found it, I'm on the batting. Which is so shady. Like, if this is real, if you really found a dragon to fly around the sky, they're good for you. You're gonna drag it.
Starting point is 00:38:46 If I did it, this is how I would have done it. If I killed them. So Kenya is, Kenya has decided to work on a PSA for domestic violence and because she's a domestic violence survivor. I guess that like because of is Matt is that I don't remember her domestic violence. Yeah, I can't Yeah, it's Matt. Yeah, it's Matt. I'm like, does your garage get to talk? Home Depot will be having a very special speakers like From the the the guy I had to install that garage window 10 different times. It was it was tough, but I was doing the Lord's work. So Kenya, she could be doing a PSA for domestic violence
Starting point is 00:39:29 and she wants to pair up with Shreya on it. So she was inviting Shreya to join on her PSA. And Shreya is like, well, I've already been invited to be the ambassador for domestic violence at Maryots or whatever her thing is called. And Kenya is like, oh, okay. Well, see, so now we're going to have a domestic violence off. Well, I was like, please don't let this be like the non-hypodise situation.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Because now we're never, never invoking domestic violence. The first thing I've thought of, and look, I know these jokes are totally tasteless, but like, for us to be talking like this, I get it. Well, we're not making it out of the way. It's not that I don't feel, yeah, it's not that I don't feel for them for what they've gone through. It's just these shows, you know? Now they're like, okay, here's our storyline
Starting point is 00:40:10 for the year, domestic violence. Hey, me too. What are we gonna do? And you know it is gonna be like donkey, dude. I'm like gonna be like, whose domestic violence thing was better, you know? Yeah, I'm like, please don't let it be like this. Please.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Please. Can we make this actually uplifting and have it that they can do it together? And you know, like, please don't let it be like this, please. Please. Can we make this actually uplifting and have it that they can do it together? And you know, like, please don't make this donkey versus Italian booty, domestic violence edition. I just use violence booty. And then, um, charade gets attacked. She's like, me, me, taxi.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Me, me, oh, why? Never forget. What does that mean? Oh, I never forget. You got Holocaust? You got Holocaust? You got not? You got that on a lip? Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
Starting point is 00:41:24 But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. I like all the landmines we are scattering for ourselves and then to towing around. Domestic violence 9-11 in the Holocaust.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Hey, could you have a more fun Monday? So next can be getting ready. I hope A's understands I'm working to provide for him. Also because you have a giant ego and you have to be on, you know, you have to have 20 businesses. You could provide for your son, but you know what, I don't feel like she should feel guilty because Ace is always around.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Yeah, right. At her job, like she takes him. Didn't they take him to this? No, that was a whole point. Riley Riley was gonna take Ace to his you maybe remember I forgot I know who's just candy candy and Todd so it was she's a really excited for her essence photo shoot. Oh, Ace is well adjusted He can already pack you're doing a great. So be fine. Ace will be fine. He's he's got candy. He's listen Everything candy touches terms are gold.
Starting point is 00:42:45 Yes. And the only way that you could hurt Ace is by leaving it with Mama Joyce too. Yeah. But no, Ace is with Riley and Riley is an angel. So I think everything is like going in the right path. Like everything is very happy. I was happy for candy. You know, she did her photo shoot. She looked great. I just love candy. I love candy. Like candy is just like candy all the time. She's just, and I like the essence lady came in and she's, oh wait, first I wrote, yes, I love success,
Starting point is 00:43:15 but mostly what I want is to be a great mom. Where's Ace? Oh, but I like when she came in and she's like, it's the confidence issue. I was like, yeah, it is. She's wearing a fucking purple fuzz jacket over a bright like no one insecure would wear that. I don't even know what the confidence issue even means.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Does that mean like you it's like articles about confidence and gaining confidence? It's just one of those like nebulous things that sounds good when you say it, but I'm like, what does it actually mean? It's like candy. Well, wear this coat in public. This is where it is. It's at your self as confident. Okay, that makes sense. I talked my way through it everyone. Guys, I figured it out. Confidently. Conf- now I am confident about confidence. Look at that. Speaking of confidence. So now we go to Cynthia walking in a parking lot,
Starting point is 00:44:09 which you know, classic Cynthia, doing something really exciting, mosing through a parking lot. Yep, walking through a parking lot. She's like, how's Greg Chai? I have a date with a man with a strong heart, Chai. How's your husband? Chai, this parking lot.
Starting point is 00:44:24 They got diagonal spots and perpendicular spots. Child, it's crazy. Now, I may be 50, but that doesn't mean I want a park like I'm 50. Like what? Stop talking 50. Child, I had to wait in this parking lot for three hours for spot number 50 to open up. Because I'm 50 and I'm going to pay for the spot 50 of the payment. Oh, shoot. I forgot to take my seat. I'm having 50 year old gonna pay for the spot 50 the payment she oh shoot forgot to take mercy I'm having 50-year-old birthday party ice cream time. Yeah, she's with cheesy ass will okay, so they go this I Have an issue. I am very I'm like fired up about this ice cream place by the way You do it. Okay. I don't I needed to get say that out because I before you get into the date. I need to say something she meets up with will at this ice cream shop and
Starting point is 00:45:02 before you get into the date, I need to say something. She meets up with Will at this ice cream shop, and they're like, what do you have? And the woman behind the counter goes, we'll be of chocolate and vanilla, and then we have a flavor of the day. And our flavor of the day is strawberry. What? Ice cream shop only has chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Starting point is 00:45:20 It's like it was built for Cynthia. Like you call yourself You call yourself an ice cream shop and you only have those three things And then wills like I like strawberries. I'll show you what I like to do with them one day Oh, he's so easy. Yeah, the ice cream super lady was like oh my god I feel like I'm on a rocky road right now. Can I do it too? Can I do it too? No, I'm not fluting with you Man, you're sexy. You're like a cat on a hot tin reef Sunday. When were we doing that? We did this we've done this before I'm always happy to make rocky-rode
Starting point is 00:45:56 We've been doing this for five and a half years. I'm sure we've done Sunday puns. I feel yeah, I feel like we actually looked at 31 flavors. It did all of them for something And it was probably as Cynthia seen 31 flavors now. That's a novel idea much better than three flavors ice cream shop Sorry, you could put toppings on them. No, I wrote the same thing that I was like who what what kind of ice cream is this? Yes, I mean at least pinkberry like their whole thing was we only have at least at one point It was like we only have one but that's our thing and then you modify with the toppings But this is ice cream and it look like you can even do your office It you know it got me so mad. It got me so mad. That's not right
Starting point is 00:46:35 It's not right You know what it made me do get vanilla ice cream cuz I'm a sicko and anything I hear I automatically buy. I have a whole briarist. Yeah. And then I was like, I can't eat just vanilla. So then I made some cookies and smushed them up in there. And I have some vanilla ice cream in my freezer left over from friends giving. So maybe I'll have some after this. Yeah. I can always be a chef on below deck. So he's basically he says, listen, you can be a chef on below deck. Just without vanilla ice cream. You just won't be a good chef. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Well, I have as my chopping skills are just as good. He's like, wait a minute. How about chop this cucumber? Like you're so sad. Okay. So Neenie is on this day. This is how exciting the date is. We're talking about the next year.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Yeah. Yeah. So do I get something? You said Neenie's on the date. Oh, sorry. He's on a date with Will. Yeah. Cynthia's on a date with Will. Yeah, so she's on with Cheesy Will. And he's like, so what's funny is that I was at home yesterday and my phone started beeping. How am I on all these blood?
Starting point is 00:47:36 Ding! Like a smile. It's no he wasn't on a date. It doesn't bring his phone on dates. I was on a bomb date. I might my BB now, but I would never know. Because I'm on an ice cream day at the most luxurious ice cream spot in Olive Atlanta. They have this exotic strawberry flavor. Guess who doesn't know I'm on a date right now.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I cloud. Yeah. And she's like, well, I figured, but I didn't think it would happen right away. Yeah, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no star Tribune times. Here I am with this Cynthia Bailey. Cynthia Bailey and Quad the Deputy allows a child, baby. Um, I wonder how that got out. Yeah, it was probably will. It was probably will because later we find out later we find out that he told the blogs that he's Cynthia's boyfriend. Well, did you see that I'm sure he's not in it for the publicity at all this is my
Starting point is 00:48:46 favorite thing so they showed headlines from various blogs and from one blog mtl uh... the headline goes we have new pics of synthia from the Atlanta house i've new boyfriend and he's much better looking than peter i was that had line like that was like not Like, the cheese was not, and you'll never believe who he looks like, and he is much better looking than Peter.
Starting point is 00:49:12 What if Uncle Ben changes their box? To Will. To Will. He's just so much better looking. Just smiling. This rice is sort of like flirting with me. He's got a huge, beautiful smile and winking at you while you're here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:30 For a moment, I thought this rice box was ringing, but I realized it had to be my seat to you. Ringtone, because this rice box isn't ringing his phone on dates. So he's like, when can I come to Lake Bailey? And she's like, well, when I'm ready to give you a massage with a happy ending in front of cameras in my kitchen. We could do it on the island.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Sir, there's many purposes. Do you likely flow as child? So, meaning, an algae. So, meaning is getting her party ready. Now, can I say something here? So Neenie is getting her party ready now. May I say something here? The Kairan said, Day of Neenie's girls and gays never forget all white parties,
Starting point is 00:50:15 seafood suare. So what we didn't realize, something that happened in between scenes, this one from being just a girls and gays never forget party, white party, to also a seafood sware Just like hmm we got girls we got gays we got all white you know what this need I know we need We need seafood Looks at the never be of yes, you'll never be able to open a store. Yeah, it'll be like linens and seafood and silverware and placemats and
Starting point is 00:50:46 Tiles and things that doesn't fit on a sign ma'am Well, I'll see you with that you have my way otherwise you're all fired Yeah, I just I just loved that seafood sware got into the mix like somehow somehow, steamers just got to the level of gaze. Well, she named it before she went to Costco to see what was on sale, you know. She probably found like a really, really big bag of shrimp in the freezer section on sale. There was probably an error at the printing, you know, like with the invitations where the evite went out wrong and she's like, well, fuck. It already says seafood suarae on it, so so let's just let's just order some shrimp. I feel like Neenie's that kind of girl who demands approval of all her guy runs.
Starting point is 00:51:31 She's like add add it. She probably yeah she probably was the one who added the seafood swarrow to make it sound fancy. I got friends you know for this party. So let's see people start to come over and then we see somebody walking up and We're like who is this this beautiful lady from behind and we're here Yeah, the tea is ready. Okay, take it off take off the tea and she said then yeah, it's Marlowe. She's like We're friends again, girl. I'm wearing a rope girl. I love it. Meanie was like, well, we've literally hadn't seen each other for years. Then we see each other at the mall and we, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fight, fight, fight. And then would you know that we're talking?
Starting point is 00:52:46 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no much better shirtless waiters. Well, and she'd also be like assaulting. You know, like she'd actually be like touching them just being too gross with them like really inappropriate. Doing the phadre laugh that I can't do. It'd be bringing up pickles. Taking, taking print the canvas portraits. Uh-huh doing all the doing all the classic The classic fagrisms ridiculous would be there a flap and his dick around Those are the days, you know Oh guys memory
Starting point is 00:53:17 Memories am I right? Yeah, so Marlowe and Nina are talking and and Marlowe's like well I felt like you were mad that I was friends with Kim. And she's like, I was, I was mad. And then they show a clip of Marlo going, and you can get that Donald Trump hair fixed too while you're at it. Oh God, who knew that Marlo would be the harbinger of things he can.
Starting point is 00:53:43 She tells her harbinger, harbinger. Harbinger, she goes, what's up with Porcha? And then he goes, who? She goes, who? Porcha, your neighbor's right.
Starting point is 00:53:53 I heard she had a bigger house than yours. hilarious. And then he's like, why are my friends with this bitch? Why? Oh, so then we go over to Shreight. And Shreight heads over to Kinzolciak's house and Shre is like Kim with her blow-up doll charm. She's like hey girl your hair is everything Shre is braids I did but I was glad I was happy that Lee's had the sense to not go touching it because you know, it's everything
Starting point is 00:54:27 It's Kim. I'm kind of missed sloppy ass came on this show. I have to admit. Yeah, I like it I like when I I like how um basically she looks like the Rocky Horror picture show poster, you know Just every character in one every character She's missing some fish nats, you know In one every character She's just missing some fish nats, you know and a motorcycle. Oh, I've got him So she's a series like I never thought in a million years They introduced him camp to Kroy what lead to five years and a marriage and six kids. You bet
Starting point is 00:55:00 You're really putting that nicely They did my abs. Did they have six kids together? Oh, I think they had four kids. I think they had like, I don't even know their names, but I think it wasn't cash the first one or cro, no. They also have credit, Bitcoin, crypto, koala, prep this. They've been with it, was in Croix time. Yeah, cracking.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Yeah, because I think they have like the boy and there's like twins in another child, right? And then there's like Ariana and Brio. Yeah, I think there's, yeah, well I guess there's six total. Yeah. I don't know, I don't know. I just thought, yeah, she's always pregnant and popping out kids and blowing up her lips.
Starting point is 00:55:40 So Kim's like, you're gonna take me to Neenie's party. What are you thinking girl? And she's like, well, Neenie doesn't know. But she said, on the invitation, clearly, I can advise someone and you're my gay friend, remember? Because Kim was gay for a season. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:56 And Kim's like, oh, they show like a flashback. Kim's like, oh yeah, yeah, let's just move on. And it's a dark time. Neenie, Neenie, Shere on. And that's the dark side. Meanie. Meanie. Uh, uh, uh, Sheree has this reputation of like a bone something. It's like a bone eater or something. Uh, whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:11 It means she'll ratchet out, but I don't care because she's never done it to me. Like, I guess she has multiple times, which I approve of glad your friends. Don't you remember where she tried to pull your wig off? Uh, um, Sherei, I mean Kim. Kim got a few, she got some, she got some talking heads, which makes me think that, you know, we'll see more of Kim.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Because last season they were like, oh Kim's Ulsey X back, but she was for one episode. So I'm hoping that she's here for more episodes. Because I like Kim on Atlanta. It's to me it's like the Bethany effect, you know. Bethany has spin-offs when it was just all Bethany and only Bethany That was like too much for me too much Bethany. I like Bethany in the context of a of a ensemble And I feel like I that's how I like my Kim Zolciak. I don't need to watch don't be tired I just I can't I literally cannot
Starting point is 00:57:00 Yeah, well, it is kind of fun watching her more for husband slowly, but surely into a woman doll, you know, I mean, I don't know. I think it's kind of fun, but I don't watch, I mean, I don't watch it every time. I only watch it once this season, but it was cute. I love the, uh, their nanny or whatever she is. Anyway, enough about that, Pete, enough about things that we don't watch. Yeah. So she's, uh, she starts getting shit in already. She's like, well, I haven't seen Mimi except one time I saw her at sex. And I think she saw me, but I'm not sure. And then I came back after her.
Starting point is 00:57:37 She was parked in the handicapped spot. She was parked in handicapped and she goes, oh, that's illegal. That's also so fucking meanie, okay? And then meanie puts on mind she tweets and she's like, yes, you're right. It wasn't and she took a picture. Pardon me. She took a picture of the handicap things in her car.
Starting point is 00:58:00 And they're for like her mom and for Greg's mom or something. And also, by the way, Greg has a part issue. Like I'm, I'm, he was like, it was pretty, she was alone. So she's still using those handicap things when she's alone. You can't do that. I don't know. I'm not gonna touch that one.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Cause I remember one time, like 10 years ago, it was at McDonald's in the middle of California. And this big old minivan pulls up in parks and the handicapped zone. And I don't know why. For some reason I was like, I hate when people just like park in a handicaps zone. I don't know why I said that because it's like, I didn't even look to see there's a tag. I was just automatically just like ready to be judgmental. And then like the side of the door opens up and a wheelchair lowers down on an elevator and I was like,
Starting point is 00:58:39 oh yeah, well that, you know, okay. Well, no, I was like, I'm just like a prick. And then, but you know, the truth is also, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the, I imagine the etiquette is that if you have a handicap placard, but you don't have someone who's handicap in the car with you, you probably should not take that spot, yes. Yeah, you can't use your sick mom's handicap placard, okay? No.
Starting point is 00:59:02 So, so then Kim is Kim is just Throwing all sorts of shade and she's talking about Kenya and she's like well, you know, Kenya Meredith fan That's what I heard she married a fan which Maybe true can you like literally marry to fans? She's got one of those like wind fans This is just like a big circle with no blades that she probably hugs every night. It just like calls her. Listen, Kim, you would marry a fan too if you had a big enough bank account, okay? Like don't act like you are Queen Elizabeth here. Yeah, you would marry a fan too if it was a Dyson. Yeah, exactly. You would marry a bladeless fan. And Kim's like, well, I don't know. Something doesn't add up. I'm like, Kim, that's everything with you, okay?
Starting point is 00:59:48 Yeah. You're Kim, nothing happens. Yeah, but it also reminded me of how messy Kim is. She's so messy and she's nasty and she spreads shit all the time. And I was like, please come back to this show. Yeah, she is so mad. I mean, she's so nasty. Well, then we go and we see Cynthia has brought one of my favorite
Starting point is 01:00:03 people of all time and I'm so glad to see her again Miss Nell Carter, ladies and gentlemen So this is a child I am a miss behavior child Give me your bank a sock And I'm making to the top It's Derek Jay with ripped jeans all the way up to a swiner. Derek, no. Yes, and a big flowing, sort of, roby, trainee, sheer thing, which was still quite lovely.
Starting point is 01:00:32 So they come in and Derek J is basically like, yeah, I'm not so sure about this theme about girls and gays. It's sort of like saying to what your wife and friends, hey, let's have a party and invite your favorite black friend. So, Sint is like, yeah. I don't know. I actually was not offended by it because I think, actually, Andy will be. Andy will be eventually.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Some people will be. I think if you're offended by it, then I think that's your right. For me, it's not insensitive to me because I don't feel like there is like there's unspoken serious issues between women and gay is like that like between in whites and blacks there are like a long sort of history of like all sorts of issues in terms of like I don't even have to say and we know we know we know you know there's issues so if you say we heard about this a million times let me show it's like bring your gay you know and then it's the, do you think that was insensitive? Having a bring your gay part and they're like,
Starting point is 01:01:29 oh, I'm gonna rethink my sensitivity. But in Atlanta, they really are like the pets, the gays. I mean, they dress, they dress them like they're dolls. They always come in and like, stiletto heels, a full face and makeup, like a weave down to their butt. I have no problem with it. I don't have a problem with it either,
Starting point is 01:01:46 because again, I just don't think there's like, there isn't like a context of like decades and centuries of like issues between women and gays, you know, where like something like this could cut, could speak of something of a larger context. Yeah, but I mean, I understand, like, I think there's a fine line, because there are definitely times when people fetish eyes
Starting point is 01:02:06 Or objectify gay people, but I don't know I think there's a fine line in Atlanta, but there is not a fine eyeliner Okay, it's like starpy. Yeah, so yes I treat my straight friends like pets. I'm like hey you want to come I feed them I'll like walk them. I won't let them poop in my house. You know, it's like the same. I can't be hypocrite. I think, like for me, it doesn't bother me, but everyone has different boundaries.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Like I did something on, I wrote something on my blog once, of like the top 10 gays of Big Brother. I wrote like seven years ago or something like that. And then someone who was ranked like number one ago or something like that. And then someone who was ranked number one or two was like, I appreciate this, but I'd rather be considered on a list of just like Big Brother players, not like, you wouldn't have made it. You wouldn't have made it, sir. But I understand, true, but I understand that frustration. So if anyone wants to read
Starting point is 01:02:59 my semi-tone deaf ranking, it's on the internet, too. I'm fine with being marginalized, okay? Put me over in on the internet. I'm fine with being marginalized, okay? Put me over in the gay corner. I'm fine with I always have more fun there anyway. Well, I'm fine with certain people marginalized. It's it's it's it's a context is everything, right? You know, like I can't be marginalized by everyone, but like a lady, I'm happy to be your gay and be invited to your your seafood and gay party. Never forget. Never forget. Never forget.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Never forget. Nell Carter getting offended. The gay seafoods were a, with the women, never forget white party. I would be more offended by the seafoodswara getting tacked on. I feel like we're treating seafood like a marginalized pet. I want more respect for gay prongs. Okay. This must be a party for gays in your serving clams. So, Forza is playing with wigs in her living room. And she's like, it's time to focus on business. So I give zero bucks about
Starting point is 01:04:05 any stupid party. I would rather pluck you all of my toenails out, put them in the glass of handy and take a shot. Okay. Mike, okay, that's a little forced, but you make your point. It's valid point. Anyway, I love when they're talking about wigs and lorngos, you know, people like Bob's more than long here anyway, and Porsche goes, they do! Hala, hala, hala, hala!
Starting point is 01:04:36 It's like a brain exploded with that concept. They're huge marketing research in the food court. Why didn't Bob, never forget white people see food gays. So Kenya, Kenya Cynthia, are talking. Kenya's like, I saw a blog with your handsome man saying, you're his boyfriend. And she's like, girl, I know. I've only known him two weeks child. And then Neely comes over and goes, A-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Cynthia tell the pinball machine about what you just did Cha I just want this crazy date. I would just play that straw berry ice cream. You ever hear a tale?
Starting point is 01:05:29 Tilt! Tilt! Um... Tilt. Can you me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me spinning out quarters. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And she's like Derek whoa and they kiss me. It's like you have a red cup. Did you bring your own red cup? She's like I'm not drinking out any wood ship of my own to see I've a see that would be nice This starts fanning when damn Kim Kim just came evil. Yeah, she came in she came in so then So she comes everyone's comes, everyone's like arriving, everyone's like talking, and then Nini sees Kim from across the way. She's like, is that Kim Zoltsyak?
Starting point is 01:06:32 Is that Kim Zoltsyak? And it's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. She's like, Nini leaks. Is that Nini leaks? I'm like, yeah, it's her house. Yeah. And Nini's like, look at you looking like Brielle. She's like, a man, I'm scared of her,
Starting point is 01:06:48 but she was nice today. And guess who else is there? Lisa Wu. Yeah, it was everyone was there. By the way, you could tell that Nini was genuinely, genuinely surprised to see Kim's old-siac there because when she saw Kim, she just goes like this.
Starting point is 01:07:01 She goes, what? Like it wasn't even like a full like Yeah, it was like a gallon sugar. It was like oh my god They did this at my house, so I can't leave. Yeah, it was like this tiny little And little did she realize that making a tiny actually summons Lisa. Oh Kim is looking like, or Kenya is looking like, oh fuck, like she's just has
Starting point is 01:07:31 this hateful tear slash tear if I look on her face. And so they're like, let's go inside. And Kim's like, where are we going? Is there a seat? God, a seat would feel really good girl. And she goes, hey, didn't you see me in the mall bitch? And he's like no bitch. Did you see me in the mall people people that's the question
Starting point is 01:07:53 It was like I didn't have time because I drove right through the the clothes and arm I refused to pay the three dollars parking And me and he knows what's coming because Kim's like was that Brent you were with and she goes, no, it was a handicap person. That was, haha. So then it's just dialogue for the rest. It's like, I had a dialogue for the rest of the day. And Marlow's like, I'm in this show too. Hey, hey, Kenya, Kenya.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Where I get to meet your husband. When am I going to get to meet your husband, Kenya? And Ken is like, ain't going to happen, bitch, because he doesn't exist. And Ken is like, ha ha ha ha. Anyway, he's busy. King Pete on my wedding dress. Ha ha ha. It's like it's last, it's last, it's lost. Where can I meet him? Yeah, and Kim's like, well, we're not gonna meet him because he's a lot. And Kim is like, you know what, where are you about your own husband? She goes shut the bottle.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Yeah, well at least my husband's real bitch. And Kim, you go, as real as your hair, which is, Kenya, again, she's wearing wigs. And also like, is Kroya ghosts. I don't get it. Kory is real. Her hair is not real. Kory is like literally real. Kenya's lab-a-married place.
Starting point is 01:09:12 She can just sort of you can see she's a little derailed because she was not bringing her egg in. She's like shut the fuck up, Kim. Why don't you why do you have such a hard on for me after your reassignment surge? Why don't you jerk off with the penis? You got reassigned. It's that way you get out of your system because you have a heart on for me. Cam, shut the fuck up. My husband's real bitch. What about your botched surgery?
Starting point is 01:09:40 Don't worry about me. I was like, there you go. That's much better, Ken. Yeah. Much, much better. I like when she said, it's so happy with her 10 kids and her husband. Why pick on me? Where are you about your butt? And she's like, you have something to hide. And she's like, why don't you worry about pimping out your daughter for John Legend tickets, which is there you go. There you go. And now you
Starting point is 01:10:01 planned it, ma'am. Yeah, Kenya's back in the... Back in the zone. In a ticker moment there. She was like, little... And you're back in the auto zone. You made it. You made it. Land in it. Stuck it.
Starting point is 01:10:13 It's a compliment at the end, but you stuck that one. Yeah, you were a little... You stumbled out of the gate, but you know what? Like the New England Patriots this year? You came back in the second half and won the whole thing. Yep. So I'm on Kenya's side for this for this one. Oh, yeah, 100% just an asshole like she just came in just to be an asshole Like let it simmer. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 01:10:33 Yeah, cuz then it just sort of like developed into one of these nonsense moments of let me tell you something No, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something like okay They can all tell like it's like a Jerry Springer moment where they're all held back from each other. Now speaking of Kim being a pimp for her children. Yes. Kim, you are such a horrible fucking human being sometimes. What are you doing? She did do that.
Starting point is 01:10:57 She did like, hey, Christy, what's your face? Who does Brielle got a blow to get a ticket to see John Legend or whatever? Which is tasteless but Kim, you know? Yeah, but now there's stuff on crazy day and nights because you know, Brielle had like some accidental snapchat where she flushed your tits and was like, oh hey Chloe baby, baby, or something and people thought she was talking to Chloe Kardashian and then came like, how dare you pervert? She was talking to Chloe or a dick person or whatever to like to excuse it. But then crazy days and nights had this blind item that said that that's basically a preview for the porn tape that they're
Starting point is 01:11:31 about to let accidentally slit a lot Chris Jenner for them to be more famous. Kim, do not do that. Your daughter is going to be horus enough on her own without you when they're trying to sell her ghetto asex tape. Do not do it. Wow, that's crazy. I do know that Brio said that Kim was pregnant again and then Kim's like, I am not pregnant. Brio was joking. And Brio was like, it was a joke. I mean, you know, we always knew Brio was was not destined for much greatness back back in the day. We saw it happening. But
Starting point is 01:12:06 this is way worse than I thought it would be. Yeah, I just hope Ariana gets out of there. Okay, I'm afraid she's gonna get dragged down into the quagmire. Yeah, I am just, oh my God. Yeah, so I don't even think, it's not like I think hoeing's bad. I mean, I think it should be legal, okay?
Starting point is 01:12:21 I ain't hosting me, but don't teach your daughter. I mean, to be a true ho, you gotta learn that shit on your own, okay? Your mom shouldn't be teaching you that shit since you're a kid. Bro, I think prostitution should be legal, but I also feel like people should inspire for more at the same time.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Well, you should, I'm, I'm, B-L, oh my God. I just don't do it, don't do it, Gama. Yeah, it's too late. It's too late. I stand for Brielle. Okay. I stand for cleaning my brain out No kidding. Well, this was a fun show. We're gonna go bleach our brains. Thank you for listening to Watch What Crapin We're gonna be back tomorrow to talk real housewives of Orange County reunion party Yeah, and of course stay tuned for any updates in case there are any For our New York show which goes on sale on Friday, but of course in the meantime buy those tickets to Houston
Starting point is 01:13:21 They're halfway gone and it's only been on sale for like a week and a half. So do it, do it, y'all. Bye, everyone. Bye. and add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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