Watch What Crappens - RHOA & Married2Med: Bourbon Decay

Episode Date: December 11, 2018

Someone yells at Nene's dinner on "Real Housewives of Atlanta," and there's a super scary cliffhanger on "Married To Medicine." We've got it all covered — plus, pressing commentary on lychee martinis. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's what crap is. Who's what crap is. Who's what crap is. Who's what crap is. Who's what crap is. Watch what crap is. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, the real housewares of Kitchin Island, and joining me is the lovely and wonderful and just one of my favorites, Ronnie Caram from the Rosepricks Bachelor Rose podcast. What is going on, Ronnie? Well, hi, Bane.

Hi, aren't you so excited about the big news about this week? I sure am, Bane. Why don't you go ahead and tell everybody what that news is? We are going to be doing shows in DC and in Boston. Boston's gonna be in April, DC in March, we are going back. We had like a beyond spectacular

time in both those cities earlier this year, so we are so excited to be going back to them. We also sold out in both those cities, so when these shows go on sale on Thursday at 10 a.m. you better get your your butts up to your computer to buy tickets because these will sell out. I think they're going to sell out and I think they're going to sell out quickly.

I'm putting my money on it. So go to watercrapins.com to get your tickets. It's going to be amazing. And then of course we have our Dallas show and we have our Irvine show and we have Vancouver just for laughs. Those are actually already on sale. Dallas is our second show. We added a second show due to popular demand. All-in. So go get tickets because our shows are so much fun. We just have a great time every single time.

Yeah, we're really excited to come back. And we were not sure where we were going to be coming in 2019. And we're very excited to be coming to some cool places. Yeah, yeah. So go get your tickets and make sure also get your crap and smurge because all those cool limited addition designs that we've been doing all year long, well, they're all available for Christmas, the holidays.

So go to crappinsamirtch.com or just go to watch crappins.com and you buy things to your heart's little content, okay? Tis the season. Make sure you get those shirts because they're awesome. I get some great use and great compliments out of all, like especially the wasamata, what's happening, what's going on, to your shirt sure people like that a lot so well here you go everybody what else can I say there's your testimonial big testimonial from us we're biased but today we are also here to talk real housewives of Atlanta and married to medicine big let's

do it big things happened big big exciting things happen on both these shows. Good things happen. Okay. So what do you want to start with Atlanta? Yeah, let's talk about how that Cynthia opens up the show doing what she does best. Slicing strawberries on her kitchen island. She's like, Kitchen island time. Probably every job. Job. Job. Uh, yes.

And we have a mystery man in the house. And I wrote chill into house, but it's not chill at all. It's not see hill. It is. No, it's see on. It's Ben's boner walking down the hall. His name is Leon. That is true. My, you just heard the sound of my owner bouncing on the stairs.

Blum, blah, blah. Yeah. As Leon, aka black Jesus from like a prayer comes into view. I was like, Peter Pat, Peter Pat, Peter Pat. Yeah. And I was like, God, this is going to be a great episode. Cynthia is cutting strawberries. Uh, it's a man she's not even going to pretend to have a relationship and talk about college. FF. Yeah. FF. I know. I actually, I was amused that she's talking, she's talking to Leon about Will and she's like,

what like brother and sister at this point. I mean, it's very easy for me to talk about my love life. I was like, is that a thing? Is that brother sister thing to like talk about who you're building? Yeah, I don't know. I don't have a sister. Don't have those conversations. I have to say.

Yeah, but you know, we were raised very prudent. Yeah. Um, and I also am appreciative of Leon to being the one man in Cynthia's life who seems to have any sense because Noel wants to have like an apartment and a car for college and he's like, no, absolutely not. And Cynthia's like, oh, but maybe just like a small car, a small apartment. He's like, no, no, no, none of that. Why do you think that that's so bad to have a car?

Well, I mean, the car is not so bad, but the point is that like, you know, for, you know, like, you, you have to work your way up to the car in college. Like in my college, freshmen, we're not allowed to have cars. There's limited amount of parking. And like you have to like work your way up. Like I, I think I didn't even get a car on campus until, girl. I think like late, late sophomore year or something, or maybe junior year. And then I had to like rent out a parking spot behind a frat.

And there's only senior year that I actually earned a spot in the parking lot that students can use. The point is it sort of teaches you to be like, stuck on campus and mix with other people, you know? Gross, sounds disgusting, glad I didn't go. Well, why don't we go to a Mexican restaurant? Let's go to, I don't remember what it was called, but we now go over to a Mexican place where Shamari and Ronnie, not you, not you Ronnie, it was Ronnie DeVoe.

I would love some Mexican food. I know. When I saw this scene, I was like, I want tacos right now. Yeah, and Shamari is keeping with the theme of the episode Strawberry. Because she's like, And I give some strawberry, Michael Pita. The waitress is just like, okay. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, that sounded like a baby being blown out from a water cannon.

Clea, huh. And it's basically like Josiah and disguise. So Todd and Candy join and they are all ordering things and Todd orders grilled veggies and like I swear to God I thought the waitress says oh do you want that with the grilled fetus? I was like what? Oh wow speaking of we've got babies all over this. I know. She said fajitas but I really thought she said fetus and I I was like, oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. Oh. And, Samari, it's like, my husband is always at doing shows, so it's nice to be out with friends. Like, are you chained to the house while he leaves?

So they're having couples lunch with Candy and Todd. And Todd's like, are you guys over there being the corny couple holding hands? And she's like, be honest, what do you think about me talking about three sams? Like, oh my God, can we please not talk about your fucking three sams anymore? I'm over it. No, I'm not that impressed. Okay. Like congratulations, or husband cheated on you about you cheated on each other about. Okay, why does it have to be a big discussion? Like

literally no one cares. Like it would like right now, like I'm more invested in the fajitas that are coming to Todd that I am in hearing about the girl and the guy who you got invested with emotionally like I am invested In the strawberry marker Rita at this point. I know she's like we're both gonna eat these fajitas You guys gonna tell other people because we're not afraid. It's like okay. I have a threesome with your meat Have a threesome with the chaloola sauce on the table. Yeah, it's absolutely insane. So Candy's like, wow. Yeah, I'm the only one in the group.

That talks about my sexual escap. It. And she basically says that she's always been the freak in the group because she's more honest about stuff. Yeah. So then to conversations, Segwayues over to hot dog and about like the tattoos and how he freely puts women's names on his body, et cetera, just more just like chatter about

that subject, et cetera. Yeah. And then we go over it. Now, Candy is still stirring shit, which I look, because Candy really does have it down where she can just stir as much Shit as possible and you really do buy that she's innocent. I mean, I've been saying for the past few weeks She's totally guilty in a court of rondle for all of this like shit talking behind porches back Like I don't want it to get back to porza But I still like it. I'm like, oh you are being nice. Yeah, even I start to buy it So then we see shots of the women doing things all around town.

It's like the traditional, we're opening the episode up, but we decided to do it like five minutes in after a boring scene in a Mexican restaurant. So we see Eva tasting cakes, and thank you, Bravo, for not making a sip through a scene of her tasting cakes. Like, we can only see so many cakes being tasted this year. We see Cynthia driving around with Leon and Noel and Shamarian Ronnier playing with babies.

Like, pretty much stuff that we really don't need to see. So thankfully, for once, it was condensed into a little montage. Yeah, so then we see Mimi go, oh my god. Huh! Let it out, let it out. Sorry. Oh Ben's birthday gave me a cold. Oh, it's yeah, it happens Sorry about that. Okay, you're okay. You're okay. Oh, yeah, it's just a little sneeze darling. No big deal No need to stop the show about it and talk about what desperation I'm living on So anyway, continue on. Sorry, I was blowing my nose. Oh, I'm such a victim. I'm like totally shanning

bedoring with three cows. Oh, he had to stop because the illness has been falling me because of some horse. The only one I've always been. OK, so Nina arrives over at Tanya's house, and I think she's got the nicest house of anybody on the show ever, right? Oh, I thought so too. I was like, that's a nice room. That's a nice room. What is this?

Get a room with Carson and Tom. Someone put on Facebook. OK, the last two face, or the last face you just saw on TV is the one that's going to save you from the zombie apocalypse. Who was it? Mine was Carson Cressley. And I was like, this, we're going to get eaten in two seconds because I'll just be laughing the whole time. I don't remember who the last face was I saw on TV. It was probably like... Samari, like, oh great. She's going to have a three-some of the zombie now.

She's gonna be like, what do you think of that? The zombie's gonna be like, you need to update your style. And I'm saying that as a zombie. Oh, so Tonya's house is really nice. I think it's beautiful. Yeah. And she's like, so what did people say about me? What did people say about me? Did people say anything about me after the party? And he's like, nothing really. Yeah. Tanya's like, the reason you didn't get a beach. Yeah, exactly. Tanya's giving a tour.

And she's like, OK, so here's this room. And here's that room. And here's my panic room. From when it's Tanya time, which I don't know what Tanya time means, is that a masturbation code? Either way, Nini is like, it's Tanya's arm, but Neenie is like, Tanya's bubbly, but that's fine. I'm like, is she bubbly?

She's really not. I mean, I don't find her very bubbly at all. I do like Neenie's new slick moves. I mean, she's coming into the season being fairly nice. I actually like Neenie again. It's the first time in years. But I'm seeing what she's doing now, and it's pretty smart because we're saying,

like, what kind of business is swag? Like how much are many of you are gonna make from some shitty little store? But NeNe is making all of her customers into cast members. So you know, it's just thirsty women spending money because I think they're gonna be on this show. And I have to say, that's pretty good. Good idea.

It's smart. She kind of figured it out. Like, like Lisa Vanderpump needs to unlock a reward tier for frequent customers of Sir, and it's kind of like, you know, if you eat at Sir, seven times a week and all of the Chilean sea bass, three of those times, then you get to be a featured cast member on Thunderpom Bruce. You can be the first to taste Jeff Joe super thing. Have you ever dreamed of having exclusive accent access to cabbage soup? They're joined the rewards here at Villa Blanca. So Tonyaa's thing is that she's been engaged for three years, but hasn't been married yet. And so, Neenie's like, well, maybe they were talking about that, but of course nobody

did. Neenie's just bringing up her own shit. Yeah. It's like trying to help the girl out a little bit. And she's like, well, but then I listen to those people and I'm like, should I be getting married? Like, what's wrong with me? She's like, no, I mean, people are more traditional sometimes, but you know what I

always say. What floats your boat for whatever. She's like, everybody has a different way of life. I'm like, that is not you. Like, who do you think you are? That's not me. Well, you know what I always say, that's what the cookie crumbles. No, you need no, you know, you know, you say, fuck you, you're a stupid hoe and you're wrong and you're a slut and close your legs to married man. Okay. That's what you say. Yeah. So Nini is like, well, guess what, girl? I have big news. I have another nonsensical theme party to announce. This one's called boobs and bourbon. And it's not going

to showcase boobs any differently than any other party we've done and there will be no bourbon at it So I hope you come because I'm really hoping to top last year's girls and gays white parties. He food suaray never forget I just wrote LOL after that because I started off my notes of this scene I said Neenie is not going to be able to handle that glass because it's like a new kind of artistic I said, Neenie is not going to be able to handle that glass because it's like a new kind of artistic martini glass. It has like a stumpy little bottom instead of a stem. And Neenie's pretending to be all classy because she's in this like really nice house. Not that Neenie doesn't have a nice house, but you know what I mean. And I said she's not going to be able to handle this glass. And sure

enough, this scene ends with Neenie spilling wine down her tit. Yeah, and revealing her bosom for all the world to see. Nippleguards. Yeah. So now Porsche is driving down the road. Yeah, and revealing her bosom for all the world to see Nipple guards. Yeah So now Portia's driving down the road. She's calling up her sister Lauren and she's like I'm gonna have one with Candy now or something like that. Yeah, she's going to lunch with Candy And poor Lauren does Lauren do anything? Does Lauren actually even have a life because you would never know it from her scene support? To think like does Lauren actually even have a life for you. You know that's actually like literally what happened. Like she was probably working on cas or cheese for a few months for her sister. So a portion is like, guess what I'm doing? No, not then,

this I did him this morning. Check. Gotta keep that hot dog money coming in. Yeah. Let's see what she's dressed like a boot. Yeah. That's nothing to do with anything. I just felt like I really need. I'm on the Hollywood grounds boot like a purple headed boot. Yeah, so you were saying. So they're talking about candy and she's going to lunch with candy and it was awkward when candy brought all that stuff up the other day about the hot dog guy getting tattoos. He's hungover him of women. He's dated. And so Porsche is on the defensive.

She thinks this is going to be a big fight. So she's like, well, Candy would think it's odd to buy a man, a man would buy a woman gift, because she's used to buying gifts. And I was like, um, I mean, sick burn, but she also, like, did legit get married and have babies. So I don't know. I think that that's like a sword you should wait to use. Yeah, or just don't touch swords, for sure. I don't think I want porcelain. Or even cutlery. I think like maybe like to some like oven mitts would be good for her. So candy is the first to lunch.

Candy is always the first to lunch. Well, it's lunch lunch. She's like, I don't think in all these seasons, candy has ever been late to lunch. No, she will, oh, she is ready for lunch at all times I think the only time she ever was late was when there were I think getting on a bus to go to Savannah I feel like can't what was that was that candy's bus and she was waiting for everyone else I think she no candy was late to that bus and she was and she was getting called out by someone and she's like, SING NO. RAAAAAHHHHH. I'm always at time, especially for launch.

So no drama, don't need no drama. And seeing that that was her flashback. And seeing. And you know that she just goes in orders because they have the number 44 on the table. I was like, Candy has already counter ordered and got her food coming to her while she was for Portia. Yeah, she's my hero. And that's why she's here. There was probably like a 37 on that table at 1.2.

This is like round two. Let's be honest. She's having dinner now. Yeah. So yeah, so Portia sits down. She wants a fruit punch, which I thought was really funny for some reason. She's like, I just want a fruit punch. I don't know, like with her fruit punch which I thought was really funny for some reason. She's like I just want a fruit punch

I don't know like with her fruit punch and hot dog situation like she's like Connerlly regressing in a way that I'm actually secretly on this about So candy's like well I guess a less combo What's a little weird And Porsche says that well in the, our issue was you didn't want people talking about what they heard. So I figured you coming back into this relationship, you wouldn't be talking about what you heard. And I thought that that was a pretty,

yeah, that sort of sums it up pretty well. I was like, that was like, well point. Check me to Porsche. Yeah, Porsche is like learning, you know, like to talk. Yeah, and candy says true Good point, but if that info came to you You'd want to know and she's like yeah, but you had a conversation with three chicks Haven't had to use on him. That's not nice and candy knows he's wrong and So she tries to play like yeah, but wouldn't you want me to tell you? I mean, come on. And she's like, no. Not really.

She's like, did I mention I got a diamond necklace for breakfast today? Yeah. No, I don't care. I don't care if he's fucking the family pet. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, candy is starting to start saying that Dennis' skin isn't exclusive. You know, vis-a-vis tattoos.

And Portia is like, Well, most people's penises of a giant are not exclusive either. And it's like, yeah, but like, those, like, having access to a non list of penis or vagina is not going to necessarily be like a lifetime commitment unless there's an issue. Unless there's like a, unless there's like a, unless it's like Jack's Taylor. Yeah, exactly. Where you just kind of respect it.

Yeah. So Candy's like, okay. So she doesn't let herself get mad, even though Porsche is trying to push her. And she's like, okay, like let's just put it past us and be friends. I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you and Porsche is like shade shade. Yeah. Just like.

Still. You're the kind of person that knows if you dig you're gonna find bones so let's pretend the shovel doesn't exist Don't walk over the bones. Don't need no bones So then so then basically candy revises her entire thing to just like You know and so they know they they sort of like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, They handle that really well. They handle that really well. But I love to watch people finish lunch. Yeah. Now speaking of lunch, let's see, Ronnie, if you can guess why I'm in a SNIT about the next scene, which has Cynthia, Leon, and Noel at an Indian restaurant.

Why you're in a SNIT? Yeah, why do you think I'm annoyed about this scene? The juice? Was it the leechy juice? Of course it was. What Indian restaurant serves leechie martinis? That makes no sense. Of course Cynthia goes to an Indian restaurant

that serves leechie martinis. Like that is like, that's like, it's like going to like a beer garden and getting like egg rolls or something. Like it's like going to Olive Garden and getting like a teaky drink. Like what is happening? I don't know, but I love that I knew that.

I was like, he's not gonna like this. And then, I think. I did not. I did not. Leachie Martinez at an Indian restaurant. Like, I'm not. I did not. Leachie Martinez at an Indian restaurant. Like, I'm not. It's like going to like a Mexican restaurant and getting a Leachie Martini, honestly. I just feel like Leachie Martinez are really reserved for certain types of restaurants and Indian

restaurants are not them. But I could be totally ignorant and I'm open to being told why leechy martini's work in an Indian restaurant. But honestly, it hit me in a very wrong way and it's been bothering me for many hours now. Well, I just like that when they made the leechy martini, but then Leon and Noel just ordered the juice and it was, you know, little bottled juices, which I don't know why I was expecting them to fresh juice the leafy, but I felt like all,

I felt both of our judgment all over this. Yeah, yeah. I was like, and then I was like, you know what, this is more interesting than this thing could ever be. So let's just stop it, let's see, Martinez and move on. What I say.

Yeah, I think the only thing that's not worthy about the scene is that A, they weren't able to order like Shepard's pie at this Indian restaurant. And B, that Cynthia is just like this hovering mom who's like trying to open up the leechy-choose for Noelle. And Noelle's like, stop it mom, mom, you're gifting me a lip gloss on my cheek mom. Now you're wiping my makeup off mom. That's like Cynthia was trying to get a cocktail for no else. That way, I can like get a test run before college. And the I was like, so you want to get

our daughter a cocktail at noon on a weekday. Yeah. And Cynthia's like, well, I've never been a college child. So now Cynthia, this is like her plot. Like I've never been to college. So I don't know what they do there. Have martinis at lunch You know my god Cynthia's gonna go back to school. That's what this is gonna be. Oh my god. Please it would give her something to do my goodness Cynthia geez. Yeah, I'm surprised Peter didn't just like bust through that with a keg like to someone need to drink on the rage right here To someone in the street

Well keg Santa Speed is leechy. He will probably he probably has an awful leechy martini at bar one. It's made with like actual leeches that have been pureed. Yeah, it's leechy. You drink it and then it sucks out all your blood. You know, it tastes all leechy. That's what's a leechy.

So over with Ne Nene and Greg, they're getting ready for their big party. And Greg's doing wacky things, like putting flour petals in his nose. Oh, God. And he's like, Greg. Like, Nene's so over Greg cracks me up.

I'm like, poor Nene has to be nice to Greg because obviously he's suffering and he's really sick and she's just like Greg Yeah, this scene definitely needed some assistance from K chest and the Queen of Bravo table scapes because watching Neenie just like Throw faux diamonds on the floor and just like scattered them sort of like and just like scatter them sort of like a shoddy, slap-shot scattering of fake diamonds. I was like, somewhere Kate is just, Kate's like opening up a can of tune and she just goes,

Huh. I don't know why, I don't know why I felt like I had to say, Huh. But I had to. I don't know what's happening. Oops, I'm bourbon. Wow. Huh.

Huh. That's an interesting idea. It doesn't make much sense, but. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Wow. Huh. Huh. Huh. That's an interesting idea. It doesn't make much sense, but... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's what I want. So people start arriving. Cynthia comes with her friend, who's extremely into smelling wine.

Because he gets a glass of wine. He just puts his nose like in the glass. He's like, shh. Shhh. Shhh. Ah. Really? It's white cold. It's white-gild wine. Can you please get over yourself, sir? I think I'd be sniffing wine too if I was about to go headlong into a boobs in bourbon

party an hour a day. Anything to alter my state. Yeah. So Cynthia was going to bring Leon, but she didn't want to give everyone the wrong impression, which basically means she doesn't want everyone give everyone the wrong impression, which basically means she doesn't want everyone to root her on to get back together with Leon when she's doing it. Finally, oh, Cynthia finally, oh my God, you came to your senses.

Yeah, he's not a cell phone or a homosexual. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous man with high personal standards and an intellect. Thank you, Cynthia. You finally figured it out. We're simply uh, so then uh, this new girl comes way. Oh no. Vaughn. Well, Tanya shows up with Paul. Paul was cute, by the way. Good job, Tanya. And then Kandian Todd

or just people are arriving and then there's this new girl another customer from the Swag experience swagalicious or whatever it's called it's Ivan or Ivana and Rick Yeah, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne Yvonne, yeah, we all we know better is that she's a quote unquote fun customer Yeah, I hope she's still wearing the tags because her outfits hideous so they start Yeah, I hope she's still wearing the tags because her outfits hideous. So they start Tasting wine and you know that this girl has come in to totally audition because she's first of all It's one of those auditions scenes with her like let's invite five new people. Yeah, and she's just giving everyone a dirty look Immediately and she gets a glass of wine. She gets that's good. What's the next one and everybody just looks at their like Yeah, I just I did a scene out Riley in the background because you you said that you hope that she saw the tags on it Which was a subtle reference to to candy's boutique tags versus swag. So yeah, see so many in this podcast guys y'all have to listen very carefully

So many that I don't even remember them So Marlo shows up with some guys she like found it. Oh, oh Riley's I mean this guy like They just met they obviously just met and she's like can you come to a party with me and hold my hand? He's like sure Yeah, she's like like ginger beer. Oh, well, you're a ginger bearer, but I'll take the order. So I think he's, um, like some big red headed gay guy, because at first he looks like a scary red headed straight guy. Right. But then

later someone's like, what's up, ginger bear? They said something to him. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was like, wow, man. Yeah. Yeah. So, that one coming. So, So, various people come in. They're now starting to sit down at the table. And so, even Michael come in and Eva sits down right next to Yvonne, Yvonne. And Yvonne just gives Eva the biggest stank guy.

Like, such a stank guy that I started to wonder if Yvonne was on her season of Antium. I was like, this is the sort of stank guy that's reserved from like for like reality stars who've been wronged by other reality stars in a different decade. Yeah, and it's already, it's a really weak newbie mood or move to go after another newbie like that. Yeah. Like, you know, give me a cloddy and go for Nini, the soup kitchen.

You know, I need that. I don't need you going for Eva. Who cares about Eva? She barely got her cake tasting scene in. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, like, Ayer. Yeah, I'm sad.

And that's sad because Bravo loves like a two segment long cake tasting, like a cake tasting commercial break back to the cake tasting. Yeah, and then what happened last week? A cake tasting, you know? Yeah, like, and previously on Real House last cake tasting. Yes, and then what happened last week? A cake tasting, you know? Yeah, like, and previously, on Real House last cake tasting. So, Portia and Dennis arrive. Dennis is dressed like a dear John Hat.

And Portia is like, she's got this, she's, her hair was bright red, right? She had like a full-on, like, like a... Yeah, when Fantasia went crazy on American Idol. And she's just like not saying how to Shamari, which is bizarre that they have this feud, but we don't really know what it's based in. It's just happening. And no one seems to be concerned about it.

No one seems to be like, whoa, she didn't say how to Shamari. And like, it's not really even like popping up in the storylines. The only one who seems to notice that she's in a feud is Samari herself. Well, this is this is shades of the shade with Porsche and Mimi when Mimi was pretending she didn't know Porsche. All right, not Porsche, a fadre and fadre was like excuse you. Like we grew up together. She's like, no, we didn't. She's like, Mimi, we knew all the same people.

We went to the same schools. No, we did not. I don't know you. Yeah. That's right. That's a good call. Porsche is doing that now and it's still as phony. Yeah. So Shamee is like, really did she just do that to me?

Or Shamee. And in some of these, I actually wrote her full name, Shamee. I've got Shamwritten down and I've got Shamee in me to love.'s gonna take a year you guys some say it. I'm sorry. It's fine You're I'm just happy that you're moving that you finally start saying events of Ava You see baby steps. Yeah, I'm telling you it takes me two years to learn. Yeah, like chewing yeah, so Samarri is like yeah, she walks in with her red wig or like Ronald McDonald Wiggand or husband in his leprechaun suit. She's like, this is not the Grinch that stole Christmas, okay? Which is very nicely advertising department because I can't stop running those little

cartoons under their faces. But it's also like an extremely mixed metaphor. You know, you talk about leprechauns and then what did she say about her wig, the red wig? I think she just said it's a red wig. Oh. But anyway, leprechachaun's Grinch, like, you got to pick a lane for your metaphor shade and you're sticking it like Leprechaun, you gotta say this is not like a trick's box.

I'm not tricking. Like a charm's box, you know, like something like that, Shamari. Yeah, she's like that Leprechaun and his Christmas dealing. It's like all one big holiday. Shamari's like, oh, I hear this is Indian restaurant that serves leech and martinis, that makes total sense. She doesn't know. It doesn't matter. Oh, keep it right. So candy is like well Dennis was really nice to me. Which is

weird. She's like this. Plop. Is there a group? Girls ready to jump me in the pumpkin? And meanwhile there is no sign of bourbon at this party They're not even at a place that specializes in whiskey Neenie's ordering like a Moscow mule I don't even think she knows what bourbon is I think she thought like bourbon meant burp in like will be burp in after dinner will be burp in after dinner.

Boops and burping. They're like, why isn't he me burping so much? He's like, come on. Too many leechy Martinez. So we see Mike who is EVA's husband. He's like, when I was running for mayor, I was like, hmm, you lost like really badly. You might want to stop saying that, you know, how about go back to like when I was working at Home Depot? Because that's like a job, you know, it's a job that you could have had.

Yeah, out of your remaking things, is that they're slogan? No, it's not. I think I just made that up. I think they're slogan is there's no oh in Home Depot. So stop saying it that way, Ronnie. I'm like, I dare you. I'll say how I want to Home Depot. I think they're slow. saying it that way, Ronnie. I'm like, I dare you. I'll say how I want to homo depot. I think there's a lot of areas. I think there's slogan is we actually don't have mayors at home depot. Mike. So he's like, when I was running for mayor, a lot of people pulled their support for me. They would just pull it away. But Dennis never did. He stayed. He stayed with me.

He's a good dude. Oh, that's good to know that Dennis has great judgment. Yeah. He's like whoever will let me park a hot dog truck outside of their campaign headquarters. I mean, so why did people pull support from him? What did he do? Is there some drama that we didn't know about? Uh, he they probably were waiting on aisle six for too long and we're like, you know, fuck it. I'm not voting for this guy to be mayor of Home Depot. I'm going over the paint paint. Oh, so this is a huge table and everybody's kind of chatting away. And Yvonne goes, that bitch can get me a drink.

I was like, what? Like she's now, she's just mad about the waiters. And her husband is a boyfriend, whoever it is, is mortified. He is feeding her guts because she's coming in here and putting extra all over everything. And he's like, oh, God, I'm more than five. And for some reason, she's sitting at the head of the table, which barely makes sense. But so Greg gets up. He makes his speech about like, who knows what? He's just, he's just like's just like welcome to welcome to

to Bourbon boobs and bourbon Thank you all and you'll have your Compton like trippers and we like drinking Thank you for coming they're like So then Mimi starts her game. She's like one of the things we we liked and she won couples night is talk about how we met each other. And so she starts telling this long story, making herself like the princess and the castle and Zelda or some sort, like waiting for Greg

to show up with the sword and take her away. I know. And he can't even say no, Rady. Can we just get to it? You met at the strip club and six months later. You were married at the end. At the same time she did make her story sound more interesting. Then I started fucking a PA and brought him home and put him to work. And also Candy puts such a funny twist on

it on how she met Todd because she tells about how they were in Africa and there was the bone guy who was saying like the guy that you're gonna fall in love with is like with you and has been with you all this time and then she's like, see? No, no, no, I saw him across the room. He was in the other room. I was like, just say he was a PA on the show. Yeah, he was holding a cup of coffee with your main moment, okay?

She's like, wow, that's a minute. So, Shamari, her love story is that she met Ronnie at the club. And then then we got it in the next day. She's the thirst that comes off of her, like even cacti, even cacti are like, damn, that girl's thirsty. Yeah. Because she's, she has to bring like name drop. She's like, well, he kept, he held my hand. Oh, Bobby Brown was there and so and so and then we f***ed. Yeah, five people at the same time. But don't tell anybody. She is like a sprite can.

OK, you're thirst. So, so Eva is then like her thing is that she went up to Michael at a party and was like, I can cook well. And he is like, great because the only thing I've been eating is hot dogs, so that's the only person who's going to have to be supporting my campaign. So kind of a non-hot dog meal. And she's like, yes, I can't believe you only have the hot dog

guy behind your campaign. And he's like, yeah, I know it's kind of crazy. No one's backing me, but for some reason, his hot dog dude is. It doesn't make sense. I don't know why he's wasting his money on me, but I'll take it. And she's like, I know.

Let's have lasagna So then Porsche Dennis is like well You're almost miss Marlow's story Oh, oh Nini goes your turn Marlow and then I wrote his red head guy red What did she say to Marlow goes? I'm gonna pass which is actually how they met They were on the highway and she's like, excuse me, I'm gonna pass your car and then she crashed into her and she's like, oh, hey, I'm going to think you wanna come with me?

She's like, listen, Ted Turner still won't come on camera, okay, gay person. Now, get out of your crashed car and get in the mind for a little while. Do you get a sear's discount? So then, Porsche, so So Dennis is like, well, she said, she dissed me when I first met her. And then the next day she said, I want to see you. And then I said, I want to see you tomorrow. And then Porsche takes over.

She's like, yeah, he was like tomorrow, I'm going to see you tomorrow. And he was, I was wearing like shorts and a t-shirt and he had all these tattoos. And those tattoos are talking to me. Wow. So romantic. She was on Quailids. Yeah. And Candy's like tattoos with other girls.

Mam-sum-um. Candy's doing that thing where she like rolls her eyes at her hand. You know, she's like holding a glass like, you know, she sort of does like a dive bomb with her head. Yeah, she lifts her eyebrows and her eyelids, but her eyeballs are like down. And she turns her head to the side a little bit. See? No, rally. So then, forces has been given a little prod. I guess by the producer's case, candy's like, now you've won.

You and evil went to the same school same time. And your mom's like, we sure did. And you were friends with Tiffany, who's a very, very good friend. And he was like, Tiffany, she was in my wedding. And then they're like prodding portions. He's like, haven't you not know each others? Yeah. That's why you have two people's names on your body.

So you don't forget them. This is so embarrassing for you guys. Well done, Dennis. So then Ivana is just like, well, here's where we're going to go with that. She's like doing a presentation about what her're gonna go with that. She's like doing a presentation about what her fight's gonna be. She's like, all right, great. Thank you so so much for coming. What we're gonna do now is we're going to fight about something

petty, and then I'm gonna yell at everyone, and then you're all gonna laugh at me. Thank you. Okay, let's start. Oh God. And they would they just get cracking out that this new girl is like obviously trying so hard to have a fight. Yeah. And they would they just get cracking out that this new girl is like obviously trying so hard to have a fight Yeah, and they basically just all laughed in her face and she said can I say we're gonna fucking say yeah, and then she goes Well, here's my problem. I said hello, and you said nice to meet you and we'd met before and even goes Oh, well, I'm sorry. I don't remember that. She is that is impossible. I'm your vana that bitch your vana I was your I was Ivana from Clark C.A.U. I was that bitch that bitch Can't just like must not be memorable oh As like oh Ivana like this the fact that this woman was was like popular in college

16 or 17 years ago and is like still coasting off that means that like there's no reason why she doesn't have like beach right now like give her someone to beach. She's probably wore like a jacket to said Yvonne at that bitch. I think everyone knew me. Okay, relax, Kree Summers. So then even it's like, there is absolutely no way I'm going to hang out with anyone that opts to wear a flammable yellow dress reminiscent of a banana flavored condom. Not going to happen. I was like, okay. Now listen, I've been known to have some like meandering dishes on this podcast, but I

mean, Eva, you got to work. You're on real hospital. That's what I'm saying. If you're going to come for someone, don't come for Eva. I don't want to hear her terrible comebacks. Okay. You're dismissed, Yvonne, and you can take Eva with you. Okay.

And the one to be mayor. Get him out of here, you guys. What the hell? Casting has always been so great on this show. I'm not sure what's going on. Yeah. So the news is that Greg has arranged a couples trip, which has me concerned because we sit through so many couples trips on

married to medicine. And the only reason why I've drawn that comparison is more because what's annoying about the couples trips is that then they all try to do couples therapy with each other and they talk about relationships and I just get so tired. So I'm like, why? Why? Just send the ladies out together and have them fight. Yeah, exactly. So now, although the couple strips have been some of the most fun trips, like that one we're candy was flirting with Apollo and danger. I take it all back. I take it all back. But yeah, married to medicine can can sometimes be like, oh,

okay, that's enough. Marriage to medicine is yelling at somebody about a potato, you know? Or literally a biscuit. And you know, the thing is that like the marriage of medicine, couples, couples trips are usually like really good. And then when you're ready for them to be over, then all of a sudden you have to sit through like unlicensed group therapy, like led by either Simone or heavenly. And it's like, oh, this is just going on too long.

Um, yeah, exactly. Just like this probably recap. We're gonna be like, and then we're gonna talk about Mary to make a couple of thoughts. I know. It's just this guys. Coming up next. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Yeah, so next Porsche, next is the big reveal for Porsche. This is called the I Traptured As Party hot dog man. And I think that this, I think in each of their minds, they've trapped each other. You know, because Porsche probably thinks this guy gets me a new diamond every day. And this guy's like, I'm going to have my hot dogs on TV forever.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like the hot dog is like, ooh, I just tricked that bun into wrapping itself around me. And the bun is like, ooh, I just caught a hot dog. It works out. Yeah, exactly. And the buzz kind of relished their short time together if they can muster the energy for it.

Yeah. So she's already acting like a rock star's wife. She's wearing those lightly tinted glasses around the kitchen, like she's been reading something Rosalie. wife. She's wearing those lightly tinted glasses around the kitchen like she's been reading something rosalie. And she's using his private chef to make him a birthday dinner and she's bought him a gift or well he for her for his birthday he bought her a gift. And she's like, yeah. That is typical daddy. Yeah, exactly. So you know, there's some talk about candy, but whatever. They, it's the, it's the, it's the gifting thing. Did you notice by the way, they, Dennis, they're in Dennis's place, right?

Yeah, I said, I think so, but it looked like the candy factory. I'm not sure. There was candy everywhere. It was like those little gum ball machines you put a nickel in to get a gum ball. All I know is that on the couch, there was a pillow that was in the shape of a daisy, but the pedals were all rainbowed and I had a big smiley face on it And I thought that was hilarious that Dennis would have that yeah, it was an odd place because it looked like it was kind of a kids Like a daycare or something it was yeah, yeah, nothing made sense so

Porsche starts giving her gifts He opens up the first one and it's like a baby shoe and then she's like look and then there's like another baby shoe And he's like huh and then she like pulls out like Instructions to how to make her crib and she's like huh, and he like she like pulls out like an appointment to see like an OBGYN And he's like huh pulls out like what's down and like pushes a baby out He just puts like mustard on its head. She's like, no, that's our baby. He's like, he's like, he is not connecting the dots, you know, like there's like, there's

like a full on like the mom's class voucher. So, like so finally, she's like, one of those big question mark shaped pillows, pregnancy pillows, which I bought on a black Friday during Amazon one time. No, it's like wait a minute. There is like a there's like a pictogram like a like a diagram. That's like no sushi no cold cuts. So yeah, she's pregnant and, you know, I like portion. I don't know her in real life. So, but people I like on TV, especially TV that we watch this much, I consider them kind of friends, you know.

And so I didn't have the proper reaction, because when my friends say I'm pregnant, it's usually not like, yay, let's see hot dogs. It's like, okay, you know, do I have to drive you this time or can you take the bus? Wow. Well, what I thought was funny was that she whipped out the pregnancy test from her breasts. She had it in her bra. And she was like, look, she just pulls it out. I was like, you remember you peed on that just so you know.

Yeah, and by the way, that's your toothbrush. It's tennis is toothbrush. Yeah, it's an oral. It's an oral B plus toothbrush. Look, I'm pregnant. It's like, no, that just means the toothbrush is ready to be replaced. It's a mod of baby. You swallowed tartar.

So let's move away from this topic and speaking of a way, Ronnie, can we talk about a way? As you know, me and Ben have been traveling all over the US with our show and every single time we go, we both use our away luggage. We love this. It's perfect. It's got four little rollers on the bottom. It fits perfectly into our overhead bins. It's got a little ejectable TSA approved battery that you can actually charge your phone and all your chargeables with this thing is just perfect and when we went to

Nashville recently we were looking all around the airport and saw people with these away suitcases all around us and we were like look look at what we brought to the world i have to say i really have to like like throw my weight behind this bag because I use my waybag literally to schlep our merchandise from show to show to show. And I'm bringing all those magnets and those magnets are heavy. And it's like I always do an odd pack and so it's out of balance. So my waybag, it falls over, it gets knocked around.

It has gone through the ringer and it holds up. I have to say this thing is durable, a F. And on top of that, because I have to have my way bag and then I have another piece of luggage, the way bag. It's like what's really nice, I have these four wheels, so it sort of glides along. It just makes life that much easier for me. They're all made from lightweight durable, polycarbonate or aluminum alloy.

You can charge your phone up to five times from the optional TSA compliant, ejectable battery and the carry-ons, which you can easily remove with one click. And the interior compression systems let you pack more. Yeah. And by the way, that like one click thing is important because if ever the airline's like, Hey, you can't bring on a bow. You can't like, stow this way with the battery. You just press that thing, take out the battery. And you are set girl. Yeah, it is ejected. So to get $20 off a suitcase, go to away travel.com slash crap ends and use the promo code crap ends during checkout. That's $20 off a suitcase, okay? Visit away travel.com slash crap ends and use promo code crap ends during checkout.

Because this season everyone wants to get away. Anyway, so now let me away any away. Let's roll on over with our four wheels to marry to medicine as we glide through the terminal of life. The terminal of life. So this is a little mini-cap everybody. Mini-cap. Um, just to warn you right up front. So this episode basically centers on Toia trying to have a curl strip and everybody's like

uh, Toia, I don't think you should be able to plan another trip right after you ruined the last one with your biscuit fights. Yeah, exactly. So, like, sort of in the early on in the episode, one of the big things that happens is that Simone and Cecil go on a date. It's date night because they're I are doing better. So they go to this restaurant and Seasaw, they're both like really cute and lovely, which meant automatically they're gonna have a huge fight. Like, at any time they dress up nicely, I think maybe Simone feels like insecure about how she looks. So when she's dressed up nicely, she's like, do I look nice?

I don't think I look nice. I feel uncomfortable. Seasaw, and now she starts yelling at sea salt. I think she was furious because she's taking her to this restaurant and not telling her that she's wearing the exact same things that the waiter is. She's wearing this like safari tan colored dress. It's the exact same apron that the waitress is wearing. And I think she was just like fuck and be probably Yeah, she fully talks herself into a frenzy because they're like celebrating how they're like Everything is better and like you know what we had a bad year and this year's gonna be a good year

And she's like and hopefully you won't ever put me in a position again where I feel I divorces my only option Why are you friends with Tanya? Why are you a Tanya? Tanya time is a Tanya time. Oh, I think it's Debbie. Isn't her name Debbie? Oh, I thought her name is Tammy. It's Tammy Yeah, Tammy so he's a coach. I guess it's all me that's in trouble all the time. So I Was you put me in that yeah, so she went crazy and said I will not do it Like storms out of the restaurant The bacon excuses for a bitch who didn't give a fuck about a marriage I am tired of it. I'm like Simone. It is like 4.30 p.m. in an empty restaurant and you're screaming about something that happened last season.

I know the other tables are like, why is that waitress so mad? So she storms out and then, um, uh, contestants got are still boring, the living soul out of me. Okay, they're sucking it out. But there's two things I just wanna mention about this scene with them. One, I thought it was really cute that Scott was doing his daughters hairs, his daughters hair.

And second of all, I really was hoping we'd get an explanation for why. Dr. Contessa was wearing a TCPY polo shirt. Did you notice that? No. I'm like a yogurt? Yes. Did you notice that? No. I'm like a yogurt. Yes. And I even looked it up.

I was like, is is maybe TCPY is that like a medical acronym also? And I looked it up and she's it was the exact TCPY like logo. Like do they have like a TCPY franchise? Like I need to I need to know why they were. Why she was wearing that polo? I don't know, but it makes sense because she is like frozen yogurt. Like I'm watching the show for ice cream. And she's like, how's Frozen Yogurt?

I'm like, no, no, man. As someone who enjoys Frozen Yogurt a lot, I instinctually want to rebuff you. And yet I actually understand because she's kind of like the like the plane, but you don't get any toppings on it. So it's just Yeah, there's tang there's tang, but there's like a lot of like uninteresting stuff too. Yeah, she's like I'm gonna call my sick dad Fast forward Already I'm sorry that you're dad sick. I'm sick of hearing about it. Do something do do better. Yeah, so shopping Mariah is

Tape Mariah takes her kid to go get some lady-like clothes. Just pretty cute. Yeah, that was good. And then we get church music. I was like, what is this? Because, yeah. This is the first song that's not like, I have money and power, money and power. It was like a Jesus song, and it's heavenly coming into church to have a meeting

with Mariah because she figures she can't scream at her if they're in church. Yeah I have to say first of all I really enjoyed that public domain music. Second of all by the way wait this is important I can't believe I didn't even mention this. I went to dinner at Genghis going over the weekend you know down the street from people and So I was at gang is going and they started playing a song and I was like I was sort of like jammed It's like why do I know this song and I was like oh My god, this is like one of the one of the public domain songs that they use on below deck And I think it was on summer house too like like a transitional song. I was like, I cannot believe the

public domain music has made the jump from Bravo to my favorite Chinese restaurant. I thought that's hilarious. I was so happy. I was so happy. That's some funny shit. Yeah. So they walk into this church. And it's one of those churches with like movie seats and stuff. My parents go to one of these church. Cool church. Is it cold? There's a rock band and pop cool. So they go into this church and have basically heavenly, it's like, I didn't want to beat

your ass. So I had you come meet me in a church and my eyes like, well, I thank you for doing it that way because it makes me feel like it is sincere. Which made no sense. Yeah. Thank you for doing it that way because it makes me feel like it is sincere Which made no sense. Yeah, so heaven is doing that squealy thing And I just like I'm gonna humble myself to talk to you know It's not every day that I'm willing to talk to a hoe like you. Or a hoe who has a mama who is like your mama. Jesus' mother wants a prayer to-

I'm like your mama! You're like your mama! Some riots like, I- You know, I just want to know what I did to offend you so I don't do it again. And that, I was like, well, I don't think you will be able to help yourself. And second of all, I'm getting flashbacks to the makeover scene earlier this episode, when Mariah was telling this overly dramatic story about when Lauren was born, and she's like, I knew then that the world didn't revolve around me anymore. I'm like, oh bullshit, Mariah. You

never thought that for a moment. And that's, that's what you did. Yeah. Oh, I forgot to mention, we'll Mariah walked into the church. We're playing this like happy church music and having Lee's waiting. And then Mariah opens the door and it goes crash. It's like a symbol crash, speaking of Ginkgo's Cohen, and then it's pure silence that she walks in. And I was like, even your own show is giving you the gong. I'm fucking love this show sometimes.

So Heavenly's like, I thought it was time to the hand of myself and came to you, Miss Mariah. Okay. And Mariah is like, well, okay, what can I not do again? And she goes, well, you know, I'm talking to a reporter. And he says, my, my, my, my, and he also told me that you're just like my big sister. You remember sister you hate so much. You just wish you could slam your head down into the pavement Time and time again. You like that to me You my sister would lie on me just like you lie on me

I'm around like I don't lie on you. I got a sleep number. She's like no lie on you tell us and she's like now She's like, no, lie on me. You tell lies. Then she's like, now, evenly, I never lie on you. Okay. I never, ever lie on you. I just repeated what somebody said. Like that is not gonna work, man. Yeah.

And you also said you had receipts, which I have not seen or heard, which means you lied to me as well. So, not buying it. Not buying it. So anyway, they pretty much are like, you know, they they get to a good place at Mariah's like, is it possible you had your mindset before you met me because this whole sister thing and having this like, yeah, I mean,

when I'm saying that like when I met you, I was like, who the fuck is this bitch? Oh, sorry. They like to outside of the fuck is this bitch? Oh, sorry. You just said. Then they cut to outside of the church and like light being striking the church. Yeah, so funny. So Mariah is like, well, that was called retaliation when I said that about your husband because you talked about my husband's penis

and you never subject my husband. Mariah, this is why Mariah makes me crazy. She never makes an ounce of sense. And so, Heavenly is like, you're the one who talked about his penis. And then we see a clip of Mariah saying the Adrian or Aiden overcompensates for his penis because he's not black, which is hilarious. And I don't remember that clip at all. Yeah, I don't remember that either. So the reason these people have for these two women have for fighting, they don't even know. They just don't like each other. And that's okay.

Please don't just start liking each other because you went to church. That's not fair. Yeah. Anyway, now it's time for the big trip to the winery. So everyone goes to Toya's house and Toya's making cocktails in the party bus, which is kind of funny to do that before going to winery but fine you know hey party time you know so Quad shows up on time and everyone's like whoa Quad's here on time she's like well I had to be here on time Sister Circle said

the sister circle is going to be a clock from now on and I said I have to hand it to you when they said exactly the hands of time and I got so emotional I had to be a lot of time. I don't know what I'm saying people know it. Neither does she that's why it's so fun My chin is on my hand. I'm just watching you like a TV show So Mariah Mariah Mariah comes up next and she's like Well, I gotta tell you I'm on call because Aiden's a bit under the weather. So if anything pops off Which sounds like she's saying Aiden is under the weather So if anyone starts a fight with me I fucking out of here. I'm not dealing with your shit today, right? Yeah That's what I thought she was saying and then Kintessa comes and totally sucks the air out of the room and they're outside

Yeah, she's still trying to show off her Her new boobs. She's like, just something that does not fit with whatever else is wearing. So, yeah, so they get on to this bus and Toya's like, well, what you should have did was I get ready for this because I want everyone to have a chance to get stuff off their chest

that they haven't been able to get their stuff off their chest and stuff stuff and stuff. I'm like how many times these women have to gather together and declare that it's time to get stuff off their chest What else is left on the chest and it's always to yeah, and she's always locking them in somewhere They can't escape from her yelling at them. Yeah, so I got I've got to all here this bus to talk about why I batted you so It starts with Simone and she's giving her, she's doing her preacher talk because she hasn't yelled at anybody yet except her husband. So she's like, yes, Toya, a year ago we were on a similar bus. We each need to name something that you know you need to work on. And she's like, I need more patience and then we get invitations of the ladies doing quad, which is cracking me up,

because it's quad, I mean not quad, Simone, because Simone's just screaming and yelling I can't help it! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho I'm extremely stubborn. I was transpired. I did not see the sleep number. I received a sleep number. That's what I did. I saw that sleep number with a club with another girl. I said, I can't do this. Talk to sleep number. And then heavenly goes, I'll give you my back to the phone number girl. She's like, I will ask for the phone number if I need it. And he's like, okay, why did not me stop him? So then contest is like, well, I need to learn better to assess people

to meet them where they are. Like if you said this to me, it doesn't mean that I can just say it to you because everyone's just not the same way as me. And they're like, uh, and Tory goes, so what is your flaw? And she's like, well, I think that I'm just being factual when other people, some people, you people, you, you, you, you know, sometimes you, you don't understand what I'm saying

because it's simple English. And I'm just being factual because, you know, being a military officer and all and some people, you know, who look a lot like you, but are generally louder. Um, you're just not ready to receive that. Like some people aren't able to accept that this is this country's best yogurt, okay? That's a fact. It's a fact.

Uh, Jackie's like, well, baby steps. Yogurt is the first step to unfroze me yogurt, which is wonderful with probiotics. Anybody want to tell Eugene about that? So, yeah, Simone is complaining that she thinks that contested talks about people behind her backs. And this sort of brings up the whole controversy in Antigua with the Hattoya getting startled by a crab. And they show the flashback of the crab scaring away yet again, which I just like your favorite clip of the whole this like

this guilty ass crab like there goes catch the crab and call drama. Oh, and then Torias like yeah, because when we were at Tiga, you you were accidentally hurt and there were two other people that saw it. And your husband was there and then he came back to our villa and completely lied.

And she's like, he did not lie. And how dare you say my husband lied. And until you say that your husband, well, Oh, Toya said, and tells she says that her husband is a liar, that we can't move on. Which is why Toya can never win any fight ever, you know, never. So now Contessa's furious and she's like, you sound like you want to get choked out and towards like, choked out, choked out. So she stands up because it's reminding her about how like her

class is being choked out by the boiler room. So she's like, I can't listen to me. You are not taking that to basement. Yeah. So she's being like, choked out, choked out and cadets is like a liar, a liar, a liar. So yeah, and then cadets is just saying nonsense now, just like stupid stuff. She's like, do you think you're scary? I squash people like you for fun. I was like last time I checked you're walking around on a TCPY polo,

like moping in your kitchen. Yeah, this is when everything just goes gobbledygook. Yeah. because heavenly go heavenly tells joy as she goes, tolya, God didn't want you to talk like this. And tolya goes, I know God, I know God, I know God. What a God was one of us. He was like, well, that. And then Mariah, and then you know that Mariah has never had peace in her life because she doesn't even know Kumbaya. She's like Um-Baya Malo

Hurt Oh, she's like Um-Baya Yeah, so Dr. Jack, he's trying to change the subject and you know, she know everything comes down and so they get to the winery Frogtown winery and the vineyards just like hey, well, I know there was some drama, but now you're here. So just like relax and have a good time. And Kitesh was like, well, we haven't had a good time. So let's start now.

You're like, okay, Kitesh relax. Yeah, Kitesh is trying to come, but it's a little late, lady. A little late. And so, it's not sensible. It's just like not making sense at this point. You're accusing somebody of purposely hitting a woman who just had a double mastectomy Yes, like it's even more even Toya wouldn't do that. You should be so lucky that all Toya did was slap you in the boob when she saw crap

I think that like Toya from three years ago literally would have like spun around in three circles and I grabbed you and Flung you off the cliff. Like, like, just turns into like a lunatic, like just like pushing people out of the way, like, like pounding at rocks and screaming. So they eventually go and have some lunch and they're contested and toy air both showing, throwing stupid shade at each other that makes no sense. Toy is like, well, I did need that. I bet you're the bus rides, but I definitely needed this out here and contest is like, oh! Yeah.

Contestants like, oh, go ahead. Oh, I was just going to, you can say that. I was going to sneeze and so I like move towards the mic. Oh, okay. Well, while you sneeze, I can say that Contasta does that thing, which is very much what I do, which is that I think of something like 10 minutes after the fact. So she tries to bring it up again casually.

And she's like, excuse me, remember when we were fighting? So here's something, I want to defend my husband. But also, you know, Toya, you're always saying that Uji needs to lose weight, but you're in the exact same place. You're fat too. That's making what you're saying. She's like, you and I, you and him have the same BMI and Quad just starts. They cut the Quad in the diary room drinking the rest of her wine and then hitting the end of it.

Like, you're trying to get the last dropout. Yeah. Sorry, Toya. It's like, BMI, is that like a candy bar? I don't think I've had a lot of those yet. And even Jackie. This is the wreck of producer. My husband doesn't ride bikes. So, so even Jackie's like, no, no, no, let's not do this now. And you know, if Jackie passes up an opportunity to like, hector someone about being fit, that's pretty bad. Yeah, I know Jackie usually loves a fat piremon.

But then someone's like, come on, this is kind of an egg on. And Quads are like, okay, Contessa, you are in the wrong to say that she deliberately hits you. I didn't like it. I did not like it. Now no one does it gets you here, but you need to apologize for that. Because I did not like it. At all. So Contessa tells us okay, maybe on that one thing I'm wrong, but everything else in the picture is the whole. Yeah, oh my god, lady. So, um, now they, uh, they're like, they go through another winery and, uh, they're all sort of like, they're drunk, they're chatting, um, and they're talking,

Simone's talking about her bad date and everything and Jackie's like, hey, you know, it's Cecil I'm a Simone. Maybe you should have to like Work on talk telling Cecil things softly and more nicely, you know, just say that hurt me, you know That would that would be helpful, you know And Simone was probably gearing up to get herself all mad again But then Mariah gets a call because he didn't spin under the weather and he had a really bad headache And she starts crying and I was like, oh god, she's being dramatic Madigan, but then Mariah gets a call because Aiden's been under the weather and he had a really bad headache and She starts crying and I was like, oh god, she's being dramatic and then she comes out and it's like Aiden has viral men and Gytas and I was like

What oh my god That was like shocked You know what's you know, I mean like I'm a hyper-conjurex and when so when he said he had a headache I was like oh my god and my first instinct is always like meningitis, but it's like been relaxed and then when she said it was meningitis, I was like, that's like, that's scary. That's scary. That's scary. That's like, especially when they explain it.

They're like, well, this could lead to blindness, loss of your limbs. They started naming all this stuff. I was like, geez. I mean, I was not good. Yeah, I was thought like when men and gait us Guess the point where you're like getting that bad headache. It's often too late. That's what I thought so I was like Holy shit. That's that that was a legitimately scary cliffhanger and like that was like one time I was like oh yeah, no, I'm with her like I would be crying to that is that is scary

Yeah, and they were all really nice. She's like, I'll go home and they were like, no, no, we'll go home with you. I mean, yeah, what the hell? Yeah, they'll be together. Hopefully, I mean, I'm sure Aiden's fine, but yeah, we wouldn't even even Aiden we wouldn't want to wish that on. So yeah, I know. He's a little whiny bitch most of the time, but still, I would never wish that upon anybody. No. So that brings us to the end of this recap. We will be back tomorrow with some pump rules.

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