Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Unwelcome Mat

Episode Date: February 27, 2018

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are still in Barcelona, and they fight to the mat. This week's bonus a catch up of Married To Medicine! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to Chicago, San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Kristi, why were you dourty? Kelly, rawr, Barlow! Our kind of mess, saying? Just saying? Megan, you can't have a burger without the burger! And also our super premium sponsors.

Our lucky little grand topper, Kelly Grant! And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens Podcast. The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yo Browse. I'm Ronnie Kerem from the Rosepricks Bachelor Podcasts and Trash Talk TV.com. And here is the gorgeous, talented, amazing thing. And now coffeeed up, Ben Mandelg of the B side blog and the banter blender.

How you doing, Ben? I'm doing quite well. I'm not sure that I could really qualify as thin anymore. After this week, I had just spent in New York where just one big, big old meal after another, topped off by my friend Nicole. I didn't eat Nicole up for a meal, but basically, she got married delicious. I had Nicole all of a mode. No, Nicole got married on Saturday. Nicole is also a spades.

She's also an avid listener of the podcast, and she came to our Tuesday show. But she got married and man, that wedding, the food, I have not been that full in a few years. I went to town. I was a little like deranged at the cocktail hour. There was so much food. I mean, there was like cheeseburgers, but there were the pigs in the blanket, but there were oysters, there was shrimp cocktail and clams. I mean, I was like, I was a rabid lunatic. It was great. I mean, I was like, I was a rabid lunatic. It was great. I mean, I was

caution. You should be. That's a good wedding when you get fed like that. Yeah, it was a great, great time. So congratulations, Nicole. Everyone in the crap in the world give a big hearty congrats, Nicole. Yeah, we love when our listeners go through milestone moments. Um, so Don't leave I hope it's a seven funny. That did sound funny. I was like, why am I saying this? One minute plot. I was like, we love milestone moments We're like so here for a milestone Here's a milestone moments We are going to Houston in like two weeks. I think it's just two weeks.

I'm looking at you old calendar. Hello, it's next week. We just got back and we're going to Houston next week. Wait, no. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah, it is next week. Well, that is going to be a really fun show.

So if you haven't bought your tickets. They're low so go buy them now We're gonna be covering the real housewives of Beverly Hills season one classic Dinopoddy from hell Know that Um, and by what we are selling our crap ins magnets there I mean the crap ins poetry which you can only get at the live shows for the time being. And we're on our second printing of those. There have been a few little changes.

Some words have been swapped out. So definitely come get your crap in poetry. And then two weeks after that, we're going to Detroit. Let's get like a big Detroit Michigan party. If you're in that area, if you're in the Detroit area, come to our show tickets are at watchacrapans.com. And then in April, in mid-April on the 15th, we're doing a show at the Irvine Improv in Orange County.

And we have something actually pretty cool lined up. It's gonna involve a giveaway or a few giveaways and it involves something that you've seen on TV. I can't give clues because I'll just give it away. Yeah, but anyway, it's not a car. So, you know, yeah, it's not a car. It's not pump tiniest, but it is something actually like we're really,

it's going to be cool. We'll announce what that is when? When we can which would be pretty soon, but I'm excited for it. I'm excited for it Mattah now until then this is our Monday episode and you might remember last Monday's episode Sounded like shit because I was staying in a you know sounded, sounded fine. Decent decent, decent youth hostile made out of cement in bed. Okay. So this week I brought the plague back from New York. I'm sick. So I'm in my adjustable hospital bed. And so it's the second real housewives of Atlanta episode I've done from a bed.

That's okay. That's okay. Cause a lot of us are listening from a bed. I'm doing it for my for my Shannon Bedor chair, which I don't know if I can still do the Shannon noise because the last time I did the Shannon noise was in the old apartment and may have lost its Shannon, Shannon quality. Let's see if I can make it happen. No, no, no, it's quiet now. But wow, the Shannon chair.

It's because she got rid of David. David. David. David. David. Oh, it's not. not I'm doing I'm doing trying all different positions I'm getting like a little oh I heard a little a Shannon minor Shannon. It's gone Keep David out of this house. Okay. Your chair is celebrating David finally being gone The chair is eating something right now basically So we are still in

Spain with the real house rise of Atlanta. Yeah, I said opens with new girl Eva Eva Eva You can't just make up your own name, okay her name was Eva Péron Eva Corona opens the ghost of Eva Peron is wandering through the halls of Airbnb Who Ava Corona opens the ghost of Ava Peron is wandering through the halls of Airbnb, okay, Eva is going door to door going You want some coffee Hey Kim you want some coffee? She's talking to the wig in a bowl. Yeah

You want some coffee? This is her story arc is getting someone to actually drink coffee with her and no one will they won't even open the door except for of course, Saray. Yeah, who's in the basement. And she's like, coffee. Are you going to get your car? Saray is very happy to receive a visitor and she's like, oh, I'm sorry. I started to talk to you about it. It's a fine line between Shiree and Tom Collickio. Yeah. In real life and in crap and choices. It's true. She's like, I'm just like, I'm going to turn bad.

My back is going to be, and I'm just doing Tom Collickio. I was like, I'm so not happy right now. Look at this room. And Ava goes, she's a little Collie, she's a little Collie j-it. And Shiree says, my back a little collete. She's a little collegiate. And she says, my back hurts. Yes, Sherrey, we get it. You're suing somebody for back money. Okay. Yeah. Apparently twin beds and Bravo stars do not mix or Sherrey and anything that she can sue you over because she will. She will. She's probably going to see this the owner of this

Airbnb for twin bed back issues. Yeah, exactly. If anyone can do that Shere Khan, okay. Yeah. I spent all last weeks sleeping in a twin bed and my back feels fine. My legs on the other hand, but that's a different issue. My legs already were hurting. I was in a twin bed. It was amazing. I had pillows lining either side of my body and I felt like I was in a coffin. It was basically, you know, death is just like a really long nap and I love nap. So you can't scare me, Dad. The only problem I have with a twin bed is that it's really easy to displace the mattress I found that like now that I'm a grown man, like I find that like when I turn

over, like the mattress, I sort of take the mattress with me a little bit of few inches. And so like by the end of the night, the mattress is like hanging over. And like, there were a few times when I almost, like the whole thing, we almost just were slid out of bed together. Well, not shrie. I slept on a cot, a cot in a room with bars on the windows. Tyrone is sleeping better than me. Tyrone's like, ooh, baby, I'll fix it for you, baby. Ooh, Tyrone. Click. Yeah. Tyrone's like, oh baby, I'll fix it for you baby.

Oh, Tyrone. Click. Yeah. Your time has run out. So this is the biggest shocker, I think so far. I mean, it's only one minute into the episode, but it's a huge shocker. Candy is first at the breakfast buffet. Okay.

Yeah. Eating some like potatoes. Thank you. Doing a close-up of Candy's plate, which is so shady, but it is really, I think on the top of everybody's mind, like, what the hell is candy eating and what, where can I get some? She's like a grape, a potato, an egg, a bagel, like that girl buffets like me. Yeah, she was, she was ready.

And I have to say the food did not look actually that good, but she was like whatever I'm serving I'm gonna eat this right now. Did you notice that she makes bed noises? She ate something that she went Is that what I do? Yeah, you burn sometimes and you eat it up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, you know the food sometimes I need it I need that food. I'm like candy. I do your voice and you do my voice. Look Brunch Buddy try not to overdo it breakfast brunch. Wow

Brunch, buddy. Try not to overdo it. Breakfast brunch. Right. Doesn't make sense. It's her new business. Breakfast brunch. So we get memories of real housewives of Beverly Hills a couple of weeks ago, where the camera crew, I guess, just went home or something because the ladies were all wasted until three a.m. where the camera crew I guess just went home or something because the ladies were all wasted until 3am Torqueing together on video crew on like cell phone cam. Yeah, I just having a fun time, you know the partying etc. And apparently

The this like late night twerk session smoothed over any tension between Cynthia and Portia because I'd forgotten that they'd gone to a fight I was like what attention did they have but I forgot that Cynthia sort of clapped back at Porsche last week about what Porsche like just in general. Not back. She just clapped at her. She's clapped. Cynthia does because she's too much of a pussy to fight with the real people. She's mad back. Yeah, because because Porsche like had the balls to say, oh, I heard that well as an opportunist. So Cynthia went after after Porsche. Yes. So but everything's fine. Now, everything's fine. There was a late everything's fine now. Everything's fine. There was a late night twerk session. And you know, life is good.

You're in Barcelona. There's life is too short. Well, it was, I am too fierce and too fabulous to be put. What was that one that life is? Why be petty and petty and then when you can be fierce and fabulous? Who was that? Anyone?

It was one of them at one point. I think there's tagline candies I Maybe It's just it's just an author eating plates of food Hers is like Please pass the butter It's just her she's like the camera just like we just see her name and she's like sitting in a table eating something reaching for some salts

to be able to eat something, reaching for some salts. I'm not going to find it sweet, but I'm all. I'm a look sweet, but I don't have any sugar. Please, that's a good, please. That's a clunky line. She goes, Cynthia's talking about her late and lesbianism a lot this episode. Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry her like twerking in the middle of the night and she's like you know nothing that nothing last night was that deep and candy goes. Andy for me. It was a pure candy squeal. Andy for me. Did you candy do her you know her skeptical laughries? Oh God I can't get that high on a... Oh God I can't get that higher on a I promised I promise myself I would reduce my candy impersonations episode I promise I made a pledge and already it's like we're five minutes and I'm like

That's like can be being chased down the street by heavenly with a rolling partner on your hand Okay, there go the last of our listeners It's me like laughing emphysema and everybody's face and you just squealing like squealing Scrailing people like me not have as much candy and all that squealing, squealing, people are like, we not have as much candy and all that squealing thanks. So candy's like, I'm not afraid of Marlowe. I don't give Marlowe. I don't give a fuck if she's still mad, you know. So Marlowe comes in and she's like, Hi, candy, we're good today. I still love my candy, yams. Candy's like, mm-hmm, I still love my amstu. Yeah, candy's like, let me just eat my potatoes and piece, please, thanks.

So they start talking about all the Kim News and Cynthia's like, look, what we got here isn't deep, but picks and vids and up kids to the side and say sorry rock's not coming and it's really like So he's like well the way that she said he she was just taking the selfie and candy goes that is no Sophie Yeah, that's bullshit. First of all there's also an adorable flashback to young Riley and young Arianna being friends together And I was like ohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo why she felt the need to take a selfie in Nini's bathroom is kind of hilarious. And the fact that she made a production about the fact that the fact that the fact the fact the fact the fact that she had to face her. I still said it, but she henceforth

the whole the whole snapchat was that she had to crouch down low because there's a mirror on the I don't like the the bathroom sink like cupboard or whatever and she's like, oh, if I want to take a bathroom Selfie I have to get this this far low because no bathrooms in here. So first of all why you just have to squat down with my Lights open and from the mirror Brieho. It's like why are you so desperate to take that selfie? Why is that like are you are you supposed to be like? Is every space supposed to be selfie friendly? Is this like a problem now? Like that there's not an ideal place for you to take a selfie, unfortunately, as opposed

to like two minutes to go into your last selfie. Like why does this have to be mentioned? Like why is it that you have to take a selfie in front of a mirror? That's the dumbest selfie ever. I hate when people do that. Yeah, that's the selfie of yourself. I don't want to look at you looking at yourself and the mirror taking a look.

Well, because you get a better angle when you do it through a mirror sometimes, because when you take it with yourself, it's like weird angles and whatever, but with a mirror you can get it the way you want to see it because you're used to seeing yourself in a mirror. That's what I'm saying. But the point is, just like hold on,

hold on because maybe there's another mirror you can do it in. I'm sorry there wasn't a mirror for you in this room and your great selfie opportunity has vanished but I think the people of Snapchat are going to survive if they don't see a new selfie from you within 10 minutes you know because you probably just took one two minutes ago in like the reflection of a vase because it looked slimming which is ridiculous because vases are never slimming. But, um, so it's already like, you really did get your coffee, damn boy. I wasn't gonna mention that, you better,

but maybe it was stronger than I realized. I, before the show began, I was like, well, I mean, I just made some coffee in my French press and it's really weak, but whatever. Meanwhile, I'm like, and she, so she could take a picture of Oz. No, but for real, she could take a picture of Oz. She could do it anywhere.

The point is like, it's not that clever or interesting of an observation that you have to crouch down to take your, like, oh, there's a mirror that's a little bit lower. Like it's not that interesting. It's not a fascinating point, Briel. And I say this as someone who makes a lot of very not interesting points on a podcast. But that's because we're talking for like, you know, six hours, six hours a week. Chances are sometimes we just have to make an

uninteresting comment just to get to the interesting stuff. You know, you gotta make a bridge that gimp. But you, you didn't have to do that. So this is bad content anyway. We're already on a foundation of bad content. And then- Don't talk about foundation, okay. Neenie's out there already in trouble. Oh, I thought you're

going to talk about the copious amounts on Brio's face. So, either way, I mean, seriously, it's like she took, she found like she went to Luria, I'll found that and like, dumped her head into as if she was bobbing for apples and walked around the rest of the day. So here's the thing. So she's already got like a stupid piece of content up. And then she has the nerve to tell the story like, oh, I didn't realize there were bugs in the background.

We saw the video. She full on zooms in and zooms out. That's not how you take a selfie. Here's how you don't take a selfie in a mirror. You don't train the lens onto the corner of the bathroom and zoom in on the baseboards where there's a bug crawling around, which incidentally was not even a roach. Incidentally, it was not even a roach. It was like a... some say what? Well, they were saying water bug. It was... to me, it looked like an ant. Like, you know when the ants have wings, that's what it looked like.

Oh my God. Yeah, I think it was just like a little water bug. But now, here's the... here's the trouble. There's so many videos, because Brio doesn't just go in and take one video. There have been multiple videos. One is Brio, they didn't show it on this, but I've seen it on LInterneto, where Brio is taking a selfie, videoing a selfie, and a flying roach flies on her nose.

Well, that good. And that's the phrase. Takes one to no one. So I saw that on e old internet. Okay, that's out there. So that's one of the videos that they didn't show. So they're shark-cuing, but it's hard because there's so many pieces of evidence out there. The fact is, I don't really care, but I'd love that Mandy, Mandy, candy. I would love if there's someone named man do you come

Hi, I'm Mandy When Tandy Newton came in this game, so candy Caught that it was double shade. She's like nasty. That's double shade Because she at first was showing that there were no mirrors And devastating shade of all. There's no mirrors. And Syracuse, well, I ain't talking to someone's kid. And Cynthia goes, that was in a Pope eat. Yeah, it was in a pro. You know, I was gonna write that down as a note, but I was like, I'm not gonna be that

petty today. But since you opened the door around a yes she did go since you said don't ask that inappropriate oh and a person think of Cynthia acting like she's so fucking nice and above everything and she's such an evil evil bad friend I hate her I've turned on you Cynthia I don't think that she acts like she's above anything I don't actually don't think that I think Cynthia is like Cynthia Cynthia you know listen she has already has enough to deal with which is the fact that she's attracted to terrible men. Okay, like she has to live with that.

She has to live with the fact that she had a super hot boyfriend, Noel's dad, what's his face, and she now, she wound up with Peter instead. Like that's a life just choice and decision. That's a hard, what do you mean, Fred? What do you mean, who? Peter's bro, thank you, Peter's bro. So, but Sndia is funny because she's like, it's kind of like,

she was like, it's inappropriate, inappropriate because especially given that Kim feels some sort of way about going to people's houses and they show a clip of remember from last year at the dueling at like the Chateau Shire thing when Kim was mad at Kenya for going into the basement and Kim's like, you don't just go into people's houses and go into the basement. You don't just do whatever you want, whatever.

So obviously she has some ideas about house etiquette, which her daughter didn't follow. Well, Kim is a trashy whore and Brielle is a trashy whore too. So there's my general statement on that. And she and Brielle turned 21, I think today, because I saw her crazy face holding up some balloons to say 21 and and like Kim was like happy birthday honey bunny buncle face and I don't I don't like the idea of Really going in on someone's child but real is 21 now and she has elected to turn her face into like a pop-slatex balloon

So that's on her at this point. That's on her. At least it's not on really. I'm really, I'm like state today. Wow. So we changed subject for a minute and Marlos like so Eva did you feel like we were grilling you? And Eva's like well being asked about my sexuality in front of everybody might not have been the coolest thing to do to me. And to me, it's like, um, we're like that in this group. Okay. It was already out there. It's not like I made it up. And she goes, well, it wasn't in Barcelona until you brought it here. Um, no, that Missy Elliott rumor had been there for like everyone about the Missy Elliott rumor. Also, I like when Shamiya said, this is how it goes in this group. I was like, oh, Shamiya, you think you're part of the group. I know.

They just let you come because Kenya and Ken backed out. Oh, of course, Shamiya. And she should be. So, sorry, Shamiya. I actually love Shamiya. I love Shamiya. I think Shamiya has been is really one of the great friends of in housewives lore. Not that she's like amazing. It's not that it's just she's just like solid and reliable reliable, you know, she's just all reliable. Yeah. So even like, she's better than I grow my OJ because she is thirsty and then they cut to Shamea who's drinking OJ. I'm like, Eva, you're really gonna have to try harder.

But wasn't there a, I'm sorry to go back to this for a second, but wasn't there a girl last year who was like, they were gonna like make her a friend of, I think they even took her on the trip. She said like nothing the entire time. Yeah, well they've had so many friends of on this, not Tammy, because she said a lot. Tammy, Tammy really.

Tammy was amazing. Tammy is like a little bit of a legend and she is, she's from the Fregan Kimfield season and she needs, which I think was a totally underrated season. I actually thought it was a fantastic season. I loved the Kimfield era. But yeah, there was a stuff that girl doesn't matter. She's Fregan.

Yeah, they do that a lot on this show. It's a constant audition on this show. So candy's like well to be fair Samo wouldn't have known your rule until you told her and even it's like I don't have rules or triggers But my boyfriend is running for a public office. I'm like bitch shut up with your fucking not even mayor And yeah getting on here acting all high and mighty. You are on the real housewives of Atlanta. Yeah. I mean, Eva, I, I'm, this is going from a place of love because I do love you, Eva, and I've supported you for many years.

But you have to know the moment you agreed to go on the real housewives of Atlanta, you have basically torpedoed his, his political career. Like it's over. He is not winning political office until he's done with you. Like it's done. I'm sorry. I don't know, because that's a very, I mean Atlanta, hello there, like a reality capital of America.

But here she is, but meaning that she's like, she's worried about like, oh my god, like my boyfriend's running for office and you're saying these things. You're going on Atlanta. They're gonna, this is like the lightest. This is the lightest. It's gonna get much worse for you. You will go through the ringer. And so, like, you- And they tell her and it's so good.

And she goes, well, if I'm ready to open up about something, and Marla goes, booh, booh, booh, booh, booh, booh, booh, booh, booh, there it is. Yeah, ask her nothing. I'm Marla. Jankin' it out. I guess Marlo really out shines Shania in the friend of department Marlo is actually probably Hall of Fame friend of oh yeah for sure You know up there with like the Kim D's and the Kim G's and Dana's

Well Marlo is one of those girls that you're like, I can, you know, she behaves herself for a while and it makes you think, Oh my gosh, she's so nice. And so fun. Why isn't she a regular? I forgot. And then this episode happens and you're like, they probably can't get her ass insured. Yeah.

Well, she's crazy. She's at disaster. Remember, she was going to come on to our show at one point. Remember, we were going to interview her. And then she just told her we cut her ass off because she was so fucking late. Yeah, yeah exactly Yeah, we don't wait and that was an episode like 23 so you can imagine now Yeah, that was when we were like We were just like happy if we could have interviewed the UPS guy

We're like hey, you wanna come on the podcast? Well, don't you remember that girl was like, okay, she's gonna be 50 minutes late. We're like, okay, she needs another 30 minutes. Okay, she needs an hour and I was like, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. We don't, we don't play that. Of course I remember because like pepper, pepper,

pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, farm, I always remember peppered farm remembers. Okay, I never forget. Like an elephant. I didn't know that peppered farm held such grudges. I was like, I was just eating some goldfish right before the podcast. And I was like, Oh, they remember they remember you eating them. Trust you will pay for that. There were extra cheesy. Do you know they have extra cheesy goldfish now? Yeah, but still if you eat too many of them, you're like, I'm basically eating cardboard dust.

Like you start tasting it through the fake cheese taste. Trust I have been on lots of goldfish. I think peppered farm, now that I think about it, maybe one of my favorite brands of all time. Oh my god, you're officially cracked out of your head. No, it is, think about it. Think about it, Ronnie. Geneva cookies, fabulous.

Brussels cookies, fabulous. Milano's cookies, they're so fabulous that there's like subsets. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Browneuller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

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It's a Milano's like art chocolate Milanas, min chocolate Milanas, double chocolate Milanas, all fabulous, fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. It's a great brand and that's just on their their fancy cookie division. They have all those chocolate cookies like the salsa leedos and the nantuckets. Oh my God.

You really love your cookies. It kind of makes me upset that you're that thin and you know this much about cookies. I'm like Milano, am I supposed to be saying which is better than what? I didn't know those are all owned by Pepperidge Farms. You lie. You lie.

I don't lie. You lie. You lie. Have you never gone to Pepper's Farm Variety Pack? Oh my God. Like what? Just kidding. Just kidding. Well, as Marlowe,

what's that Marlowe's face? That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That's Marlowe's face. That wait, don't before needy comes out Marlowe. So when, when, you know, they're saying like, oh, wow, well, even if it doesn't want to talk, Marlowe goes, well, the truth

always comes out. Borschen knows about this and Borschen just turns the camera goes, what? She goes, yeah, I said you're going to back battle. What, you know, what, why does every, I mean, we'll talk about this when the episode goes on and we'll hold it. So Nini comes out. She's like on in a moment. I'll hold it. Soon he comes out. She's like, hello everybody.

I am hosting breakfast. You are welcome for everything I've done for you. Now I know you have problems with this place, and I can't put it all on Cynthia, because you know she likes a bargain. I just like, what are you talking about? As she eats her off brand breakfast food. I got something called Oreos, a glorious. And she pulls that temperware from her purse

to take the rest of the breakfast in. By the way, I have to say before you, before you, I know you've been really trying to move into this niny part, but I just have to say with the backpedaling joke. So Portia Portia goes when Marlowe brings up the thing about backpettling, Portia's like, I don't want to be the butt of a backpettled joke because that's not me. And I was like, I love that. It's a very specific

request. I don't want to be the butt of a backpettled joke. And then Candy, this cracked me up. Candy goes, see, uh, rally. Portia backp back pedals so much. She might as well moonwalk out of the room. Somebody, anytime somebody asks you a question. And I just was imagining Porsche just like actually been walking out of a room every and every scene. You know, Candy's not the most gifted dancer. And you know that choreographers trying to teach her how to do the moon walker just like okay, it's like Walking backwards, but no candy. Okay, it's like backpedaling Like just go candy okay, just stand there and move back and forth so that's still her frame of reference So anyway, I just I just thought that line was very funny and needed to be highlighted on a podcast format. Well, Lini basically got everybody hotel rooms and then everybody is so rude.

They get up and start screaming like, woohoo, we get to leave this dump. You know that lady is going to come back tonight and be like, oh, oh, ladies, I made some paella. It's just like a giant paella pan and the whole bill is just like empty, like flapping curtains. It's all sad. The sad flight of the bill on lady. So now they all get on the bus to go sightseeing. And Cynthia is like resurrecting the 50 cent bucket list challenge by the way

Ronnie last week were you complaining that that Cynthia had misspelled 50 cent? Just don't like the way she spells it. It's okay. It's 5050 CY and T H. That's 50 cent like 5 0 C Y and T H. That's 50 synth. Yeah, no, I know someone was saying someone on Twitter was like just so you know the synth stands for Cynthia and I was like I know that but we were we complained that we didn't know that it stands for okay I just want to clarify that we know 50 synth 50 synth for Cynthia leave off the H Yeah, do not try and tell me I don't know what Cynthia's winner. You think I don't fucking know what means Cynthia Jesus Christ. I'm like so should be this right to be 50 cents.

Social media is coming for us this week. I'm telling you. I'm really telling you know who's coming for Marlo the gate. Marlo cracks me up. So they're about to get in this big van and the gate is closed and she goes the door is closed. And then the gate opens and she goes the door is closed and then the gate opens and she goes the door is open she's observing some basic things from our surroundings sky is blue today fair is soft oh my god okay so the 50 synth challenge. She's like, Hey, everybody, don't forget that I had these papers made that hashtag my Instagram. So please show them on close up. And Marlowe's

like, I did mine last night. And for she goes, it didn't count because it was not Instagram. I was like, that is basically this entire show. Yeah, exactly. That's here we are complaining about about Briel, but look what she was raised amongst. Yes, she was raised amongst the need for cup, cup, hearts. Briel should maybe transition over to Vanderpump rules. That might be good fit for her. Except the main thing that she actually have to do work. Um really? Fake work. Okay, she doesn't have to do anything. She could just stand around. Just, you know, sort of like refill the Taco Bell tower. So we get a bunch of butt dancing, tricking videos night before blah blah blah blah blah blah and then of course we get to

And then she's like well if I'm gonna tongue pick Tongue girl down I could to pick Can't because I am not kissing anymore girls in this circle I am not kissing anymore girls in this circle Yeah, so instead it's a Porsche volunteer to kiss Cynthia And then there's this whole dilemma of like is it going to be a regular? It's just like a normal kiss or is it gonna be a tongue? Etc. And so there's some miscommunication because Cynthia thinks it's with tongue and portion thinks it's not with tongue So start to kiss and then Cynthia like her mouth starts to open up a little bit and porch like, and candy's reaction

was amazing. She's like, stop playing your protest. Get over there and stick your tongue in the mouth just like you did me. So good. I'm trying not to have a link last. Sorry. No, there's so much happens in the show Candy was on fire her one line ours are really good this week So there was that weird statue guy. I don't know. Oh, yeah And Marla's like don't touch that thing Yeah, well because Cynthia was like, yeah, there's some cutie pies hanging around here. And then they cut to the guy who basically covered an oil and barnacles floating.

And it was like, I think Barcelona has some more to offer. Like what? These little yellow cars that you just drive around. And apparently, I guess they give little, like, it's like a tour. Like when you drive around certain areas, it's like, over here on the left is the touch and touch building. And over here on the right is the, it's like, right off of Melia, whatever.

And Shira just keeps slamming on her brakes, hoping someone will rear enter so she can see that But the best is Porsche and Shemia are laughing at Cynthia because Cynthia is wearing a shirt that says Naomi Cindy Linda Claudia Christy and Kate and Cynthia wrote in and Cynthia 50 cents 50 cents and and then there's like laughing that she wrote in her name with the others like super super super models. Yeah, of course, she's like, you go ahead and imagine the next thing I don't need care. I mean, Cynthia is a super model and she's great, beautiful, but I mean, Ciao, you're not at that level.

Ciao. I'm hoping that's some of your coughing. I know. Yeah, I died. I died. I'm dying coughing. I'm so sorry. Keep doing that.

No, it's like a really horrible like, just cough away from the mic. So that way people don't think it's dead air. That way, when I make my like really wonderful jokes, and then there's an awkward silence, I don't feel like oh my god This is it. This is the end of the podcast. Roni is like I don't want to do this anymore and I have like an instant micro spiral Don't do that to me

Anyways, speaking of micro spirals the street like that. Yeah, yeah, that was horrible. Who wants to listen to me hack? I think we want to be there for your journey to death That was horrible. Who wants to listen to me hack? I think we want to be there for your journey. To death. So, uh, they're, they're writing the cards and of course, Porsche rear end some dude and Candy goes, Candy goes, how do we think I do that? Now driving safety. Oh, I can't stop doing candy impersonations. Even though people say they got to know it with them, I can't help myself. Don't stop doing candy impersonations even though people say they got to know it with them I can't help myself don't want no candy a presentation don't need no candy impersonation It's really Forza goes

I can't get the brake not the gas is fed out of nowhere and it was a freak of nature and then I hit the car I swear Like I said just getting the other car and she goes could you check the brakes? I'm like, first of all, don't, like, how many times has she used these excuses? She's one of those people that uses these crazy cock-a-may-mix uses when she gets in trouble. First of all, she hit the camera guy, so it's like no big deal. Second of all, she's like, you just know anytime she gets pulled over. I was driving just right, but didn't know, like, I was trying to trust him yet, and then the road suddenly switched to the right, and I was like, was trying to drive to the other than the roads at least switching the right

I was like how the road change you got check the road We're in trouble moving on and so yeah check it There was a fork in the road like oh my god Porsche so Porsche because there's something wrong with that car Candy because yeah, you was driving it oh candy because yeah, you was driving it. Oh my God. So then Porsche starts driving again and she goes, Oh my God, the world is spitting in my face. And she opens her fan and covers her face with her fan while she's driving. So that's not going to help. That's that's really that's not how to knock it into

an accident. Oh my God. Yeah. So then they wind up at La Bocca dea market. And by the way, Shamiya looked crazy. I didn't realize until now, because she's wearing these like short shorts, but also these boots, not boots, but they're, what do you call them when you're wearing? Polio leg braces. Yeah. It's like the straps.

I don't know if it was a boot or like a gladiator thing, but like the straps go all the way up to your to your knees. They look sort of hooker-ish But like some would an anti-vaxxer because that girl got polio Since her last her last gas is going to level Korea, but she Like it's not that she looked like a hook. It's just it's not that It's not that only hookers wear those shoes. It's just that she looked like a hook, but it's not that only hooker is where those shoes, it's just that if not worn correctly, you look sort of like a hooker.

And by the way, I support prostitution. So there's that. But I'm just saying, she looked a little crazy. Yeah, she looked like a hooker with polio. Let's just, yeah, let's just compromise. Your real polio. My aunt Marcy had polio. How dare you? It's a hard knock life for

ow oh I thought of polio because who had polio and Annie oh I guess Roosevelt he didn't have polio my aunt Marcy my aunt Marcy my aunt Marcy is that we talking about Aunt Marcy oh my god I'm officially delirious. I'm sorry at Marcy. Rest in peace, Aunt Marcy. But anyway, so they get into this, it's like a market, it's like a grand central market here in LA, but like in the Barcelona version. And they sit down on the table and they've got a waiter and Porsche is trying to order basically Hennessy and Coke in Spanish. And she's like, I'm like,, uh, Tennessee, uh, Coca Cola Diablo, Necesito, or Pobordo. And she's looking on her phone. She's like,

do you have a blame the handy? Oh, blah. I got nothing gold in there. Cabaretto. There's sauce. And here we are again with the ignorant ass Americans eating. Okay, this is every bravo show. It's so embarrassing to watch them. All this food starts coming to the table and they get shrimp. We take that off. But she was actually really nice about it. She was, she said thank you so much. Thank you so much. She wasn't like doing a whole thing like, whoa, gross. She was really nice. Of course, I've made my, I've made my stance on shrimp heads very clear, which is that I love them. I love me a shrimp head. I do. Not that anyone asked. I just felt like offering that up because it seemed contextually important. I'm not ignoring you. I'm flipping through notes trying to see.

So well, yeah, it's all the support. All of this future and there's an octopus that comes and porous. Like, I love when I look at when I'm like, I have no idea where I am. And then I find it. No, but like I No, sometimes when you sometimes when you are like in your notes You like are you're like buried like in your notes because you'll just start saying something that I'm saying So I'm like so all this food comes you're like so all this food Ron is in the zone. Well, I write my notes like you speak here in my headband get out Okay, it's

all this because and Porsche is like, she gets a big ol' octopus and she goes, I'm a baby vegan, a baby vegan to backslip into this octopus. And I don't care. And yes, I'm defensive about it. And like, did you back pedal into it or backslip into it? I haven't, I haven't any thought that Pia was Papaya. She's like that PAO is papaya? Is that my papaya? Is that my papaya? And the producers actually put the subtitle on us, that we were sure to see that when they said,

and the PAO is, you know, she was like, that's my papaya? So what's the best thing to talk about when you're eating food? Roaches. So it's back to Roach conversation. And Shira's like, who even has Roaches anymore? You got Roaches? You got Roaches. So it's back to Roach, Roach conversation. And Shrezik, who even has Roaches anymore? You got Roaches? You got Roaches? I haven't seen nobody, but no Roaches a long time. And they cut Sheree killing a Roach as Shateo Sheree like last week. And screaming. It was like last season, which he couldn't even go in her house. He's just

filming on the porch sweeping like, oh, you can come in any moment, any moment now, cameras, you can leave, you can leave cameras. You can leave them. Yeah, there's the red and the enemy goes, do people even have roaches these days? No, riches have all gone extinct. Yeah, we finally fixed the roach problem. It only took about like 65 billion years, but we finally got rid of them. So Nini is like, Nini is talking about the Roach situation when Brioche is like, that is as low as you can possibly go.

I'm like, now I may be wrong, but I think we can go a lot lower than taking a Snapchat of a Roach in the bathroom. You know, like, it can get a lot nastier and a lot meaner, and you've probably been the one to do it. Yeah, exactly. You've personally gone way, way lower honey.

Yeah. And he is like, you know, I think it's, you know, it's up to a friend to go up to a friend and say, no, that's wrong. That's wrong. A friend should go up to a friend and say, that's wrong. I'm like, yeah, I mean, yes, you're right. But like, watch the day that someone does that to you, NeNeNeNeNe. Watch someone say toini, hey, Nini, that was wrong. And let's see how you react to that. This is so typical, Nini. She starts yelling at the whole table because they weren't standing up for her. And she's like, like, you poor, Sha. You were on the phone having that conversation, you know? I know we had our problems, but I'm like, oh, really, but you had your problems that weren't

even about you. You screamed and yelled at her about candy shift for the first two or three times she saw her, made her cry every single fucking time. Like you're making people feel sorry for Portia and there's no explaining what she did. So fuck you, you're such a fucking bitch, she's such a hypocrite. And like Portia's supposed to just start rolling over for Nini. Not gonna happen. But they all just start jumping on Portia.

What Portia do except get some eye glue in her, you know, I last glued her eye. Poor Porsche, I'm always here for you, Porsche. She broke the oath of being a baby vegan. That's what she did. She had octopus. She was feeling tentacles. She wants a tentacles, but she, you know, there will be tentacle temptation all your life.

But if you're gonna be a baby vegan, you need to stick to it, okay? Yeah. Poor Porsche. vegan, you need to you need to stick to it. Okay. Yeah. For poor. And then then you need to turn to attention to Shere because now at needy's sort of like in an alliance building mode because she wants people to turn against Kim. That's why she's being nice to Portia again. And so now she turns to Shere wants Shere to have a conversation with Kim.

And she's like, Mr. Ray Wigfield being the Wig that she is, trying to crawl out. She knows she's wrong. And then she's, because they're trying to make Sheray vow in front of the whole table that she's going to yell at Kim for them, right? Right. So she's like, Sheray, you're going to have a conversation with Kim, right? And Sheray is like, yes, of course, I'm going to have a conversation with Kim. Immediately. I'm recording this right now.

She's on FaceTime under the table. And Candy's like, and that it was wrong, what she did, because she reads, she's like, I just said I didn't have a conversation. That's all I told her everything you said. And she's like, well, I will say what we discussed. Yeah. Yeah.

So now Nini's, and then Nini starts saying how, Nini, of course, is not playing Miss Innocent. As far as I knew, I never had a beef with Kim. No, everything was fine. There was no beef. But when she took that picture, the handicap spot, when I parted the handicap spot, that was months ago before there was anything.

So she was just basically, she was going to take a picture and then she was gonna pull it out for when she needed it. And I'm like, I do believe that. I don't believe that they didn't have a beef. I believe that they did have a beef. I do believe that came with the type of person who's gonna get dirt whenever she sees it

and hold onto it. But at the same time, I think when your friends with Nini, you kind of have to have it because they have such nasty brutal fights that you just have to equip yourself whenever you can. Yeah, I think the only way that Neenie loses is that she actually says the words she was banking it and I'm like Kim doesn't bank anything. Yeah, which is why she will be the first rags to it or which is to rags housewife. Yeah, it's films like on her new reality show living behind a dumpster. That's important. Yeah, Kim doesn't understand the concept of depositing things unless it's

something involving her lips. Capital, what? What's in your wallet? No, seriously, what's in your wallet? Can I have it? She also grabs the American Express. Kim's like, I don't eat beef. That's why. I'm a vegan, a chicken vegan. So I have an American Express card. Don't leave home without it. And by American press, I mean, Kroi. American press press. And he's like, well, it turns out that we found three roaches. And their names are Kim K Kroy and Brielle.

Like, uh, Jesus, like, Jesus, I'm making it in quietly snickering to myself just because I like the idea of calling Kim a roach. I don't know why it's just simple. It's a simple pleasure. Um, I have a serious problem happening here. What's that? What's wrong? My call recorder is saying 12 minutes and 35 seconds. Okay, something happened at 147. I guess it skipped it. Okay, good. It looks like we still have our video. Okay, so we can finish.

Oh, yeah, because sometimes that happens where like it'll stop and it start up again. You want to check to see a wrap out of me? I know we want me to record something just in the back. I'll just say always when I'm recording, always record it back up because it's on again. I forget. I forget. I forget. Dulling. You have to talk real housewives of Atlanta again. My head will explode. But we're all so in touch. But you but we have all the audio or most the audio. Yeah, I think so. Oh, good. Good. Good. God. So now the conversation pivots to this Marlow situation. And now this is where it gets really good because we get one of our pettiest fights of all time. So, so now talking about this Kim Zolciak situation, Marlow wants to know if Porsche is going to talk to Kim

and and Porsche is like, I don't really want to talk to him about it She's like, you know, she's a new friend. I'm getting to know her. I don't want to hold her feet to the fire Etc. And Portia makes a really good point to us, I think it's a good, good logic on her part. But Marlow is now getting mad at Porsche because Porsche is saying he's just wanting to get involved. It's, it's, it's, there's a lot of crosstalk. It gets a little hard to follow, but Marlow was mad. Well, Marlow has learned that she is either Neenie's attack dog or she's not going to shoot on the show. And that's it. Yeah. You know, she can, she can either do it. Neenie says or she's out gonna shoot on the show and that's it. Yeah, you know she can she can either do it

Nini says or she's out so it's very publicly to everybody saying especially Porsche You're gonna say say something right you're gonna say something. No, why doesn't Nini fucking say something because Nini Will not ever fight with somebody who will fight back with her. She turns into a complete blobber bot can't make a damn sentence And just start shaking her finger and then lives. And Nini could have if Nini was actually like common mature and said, listen Kim, you know, I don't think it was right for your daughter to do that. Like she could have just said that. And I think maybe I don't know if Kim would have listened because you know she's like you know, it's Kim. She's a force unto herself. But I don't know why I don't know why Kim would listen

to anyone else. So Marlow, so Portia says something like, you want me to go talk with Kim and Marlow's like, no, I asked a question. I asked a question. I didn't say you have to do it. I said, I asked a question. You know, because these girls,

they love to get caught up in semantics, you know? And so Portia's like, you need to chill. And she's like, you need to eat a healthy, and gripping your fake vegan. So now it's all of a sudden, you know, now it's trying to get tense, right? Yeah, now it's more morals and veganism. Okay, let's remember the timeline of events here. They go to this party, the daughter takes pictures of roaches or whatever on the Snapchat.

They are not released. I don't think at that time. When this, when Neenie went off about Kim over and over over did want her to come on camera in front of everybody. Then was in the van going, well, she's had every kind of health issue ever as strong of this and that of this and that. Then they told Kim about that. That's when Kim went and got that video and put it out.

That's why Neenie is having a fucking count. Because don't you remember when Kim was on the phone? She goes, what, where's that video? I'm finding it right fucking now. And then she went and posted it. So fuck you, NeNe. And stop acting like you didn't start this whole thing. Yeah, well, but the thing is a brief,

but like it was still a Snapchat that Brielle made. Like it's so sad. I've read you as a NeNe's bathroom. So I mean, you can say her kids an asshole, but the only reason Kim did keep it in until Neenie fucked with her But you know what though Neenie, but by the way, she put it out there on the on the internet By the way, no, no, but it's not as simple as that because Neenie Neenie didn't fuck with Kim Neenie was just like, oh yeah Kim. She always has this or that or whatever like she was basically like

She was kind of saying what honestly anyone would say behind comes back in that situation, because Kim always has an excuse. It's not wrong at all. And she wasn't being nasty. I mean, maybe Kim would interpret as nasty because like those are my whole things. No, not any nastier than like, I mean, don't you have a friend? Don't you? I know plenty of people is like, they always have an excuse.

Why they can't do so every single time. And so you say, oh, they always have an excuse. So is this. So is that. That's what it was. I'm sorry, maybe it was a little nasser because there were some health things involved. But Kim, what Kim did was more outsized than what Nini was saying.

I don't listen. I'm going to explain this in Star Wars terms. The Kim Pyrostrox back. Well, either way, either way,ia thinks that Marlow should confront Kim because because Marlow's saying that Portia could talk to you talk to Kim and Portia's like, well, why don't why don't you do it? I'm not IG friends with her and then she said I'm She said aren't you friends? You can't get on she's on I'm Instagram friends with her. Yeah, but that's it, you know, and then she starts to sort of explain things like, you know,

like, you know, sometimes in life, you know, you don't like things, whatever. Like, there were certain things in your home that I didn't like. I felt your dormat should have been larger, but I would never be a messy bitch and take a picture of it. I was like, thanks for pointing. And in my mind, I'm like laughing. So I'm like, I can't believe that the dormat, the stupid throwaway comment about the dormat from last episode or a few episodes ago,

she's actually referencing that. Like she actually took mental note, be like, that dormat was not proportionally large. So that, as we say, in Hebrew at Passover, Dianu, that would have been enough. That would have been funny enough. But no, the dormat thing then took over. Yes, well, didn't Porsche say, well, you also said that Cynthia's house was furnished by

a key. Cynthia goes, um, pardon me, not all of my furniture came from Ikea. Okay. Not that I have a problem with Ikea. Yeah, not to Sweden. Okay. My furniture came from Sweden. Yeah. That was funny. It is kind of funny that she has that so much IKEA furniture

And then by the way when Marlow was saying about the the door mat. She goes well, that's nice I didn't have my feelings at all I'm like your feelings are heard about like her saying a door mat was slightly too small, you know Well, they need me starts going going I cannot believe people would criticize a house Crazy to me Yeah, I've told a not strong HGTV. She's just like fury for the house hunters. That is wrong Screaming at port wait. She's screaming at Kim when her friend Marlow just made friend of someone's milk and welcome Matt. So now Cynthia starts.

Cynthia starts rousing, Portia. She's like, no, she's like, no, Cha, Cha. Now I know I got my IKEA, but guess what? I kid's got a large dormat. You can get a larger, I'm just saying you can get a larger dormat at IKEA. He had a larger one there. And Portia just starts to cry. And I was like, wait, what?

Huh? And she's like, wait, what? And she's like, no, it's just that my mom got me the dormat. And it's just, it feels a lot to me. Like, my girl, she probably saw it at the supermarket and bought it for you. And probably says, welcome home. It's Santa Manitals. And he was like, who cares about the dormat?

I'm sorry, what's happening? What's happening? I wrote that down too, because she's is like, who cares about the doormat? I'm sorry, what's happening? What's happening? I wrote that down too, because she's just like, I'm sorry, what's happening? Does this have anything to do with local politics? Thought not, I will stick to my muscles. Okay, thanks. Does anyone want a coffee now?

So Marlo is like, uh, candy, candy knows what you went through. You know how you're crying now. You know, now you understand what candy went through when she was crying. It's like, wait, are you comparing porous tears over a welcome mat over a dorm mat To my candy went through well because Marlowe was saying you know when someone lied when someone attacks I mean that's very special to you now. You know it it feels like good Yeah, and porches starts just snapping back, but she does stay pretty calm which I'm impressed right and before we get into this big fan conversation I would like to say I was prepared for this because I saw that fan in porches hand but she does stay pretty calm, which I'm impressed by. And before we get into this big fan conversation, I would like to say I was prepared for this

because I saw that fan in Porsche's hand, and I thought, oh, she did not put that fan in Marlow's face. She did not even flick it outside of her own box of personal space. Mm, please continue. Oh, yeah, yeah. So yeah, so Porsche has this fan,

she's fanning, et cetera. And she's like, Portia's like, you want to shave me about what I put on my damn math? You want to talk about my damn dormat? And then you want to bring up this candy issue and act like you give it damn? I was like, I like that like the ascension, you know, but she's like listing the things that the Marlow's doing to her. And like the dormat's number two, like, like, it's like, oh, first, you talk about me not being a real vegan. You talk about my identity as a vegan, and then you insult my Dormat.

Like the Dormats, like, whoa, that's almost the final straw right there. But then it gets worse. You put that low in my low. I mean, that's impressive that she could, you know, spell that far into her name. I love Portia. Like, I don't care what anybody says. Hate me all you want people.

I said, far, far, far, far. I love Portia and but it's funny because Portia starts doing this whole victim thing. She's like, bitch let me tell you something. When you work really hard for something and you get something and your family's really proud. I'm like, please don't imbu all that into like into a door mat. Okay. Well that being said, that was the nicest way that she could not rip this lady's weave off Puncher in the face to say you listen to me you old fucking slag who's never gotten anything from a days work in your life You old man fucking Mansion swallowing well how dare you come at me?

Okay, how are you talking about? I'm talking about more of course. Yeah, well, yeah, because Marlow was like I came from five foster homes. So don't talk to me about like Like oh you worked your your ass off and then you got a dormat and the dorm I came from a lot of people came from bad childhood and still got goddamn jobs Marlow coming at anybody or their money when she's fucking some 80 year old for a Bentley. I just can't with that Listen, I can I I mean I honestly think like going through foster homes, that's not easy. That is, that's a hard thing to go through.

What are you saying it's easy? I'm saying like in a current fight about a welcome mat. I'm just saying, I'm just saying I feel like, if I'm gonna like, I mean, Marlow is no great upstanding citizen and she is not, she's not, she's not anything I ever aspire to be. But if you're going to like,

if you're going to compare like the pain that, and that the, the travails you've gone through to get a doormat versus what Marlow has gone through to get out of a faucet system. She's not comparing them. Marlow is attacking her at dinner for no reason over something that's not a for fucking business

and making her cry in front of her. Well, Marla saying that like when when Portia says like, you don't know it's like to work hard and you finally get to be nice. Well, Marla saying, no, I mean, I've been through shit too. I persevere too. Like don't talk to me about persevering because I persevered. Well, Marla started it and she should shut up. She's the one attacking.

Oh, yeah. Marla's down. So I'm not about to like jump on Marla aside from making somebody cry. Fuck her, man. I'm not going to take away what she went through as in her childhood or whatever. I don't know if you're gonna get a job. Well, I think that Marlow, I mean, Marlow totally started. And no, I'm not like, I'm actually, I actually defend poor, I actually, you know, Marlow is just trying to like get under porous skin, but I do think that Marlow is doing a job. I think Marlow is doing a job.

I think Marlow is doing a job. Well, I think that Marlow, I mean, Marlow totally started. And no, I'm not like, I'm actually, I actually defend poor, I actually, you know, Marlow is just trying to like get under Porsche's skin, but I do think that that when Porsche starts talking about like, you know, talking about hardship, I'm getting through hardship and then Marlow, you know, I think Marlow has a point when she says, I've been through five foster homes, like, don't talk to me about hardship

right now. Okay, although, although Porsche did go through that awful marriage with what's his face? I cannot with people using their past pain and current fights. Like that's a winning like that's an actual thing that's gonna win an argument. That's what Porsche is doing. No, she's not. She's saying, you don't know what she's being attacked. She's every time she shows up with these girls, she's trying to have a fun time and every time they make her fucking cry every single time. And now here comes Marlow making her cry again. That's gotta be fucking. Wait a second. Wait a second. Porsche is

crying because they shaded her door map. Okay. No, Porsche is crying because she's at her breaking point and they she's got five women screaming at her face that she's not a good friend because she didn't yell at Kim Zolciak for Neenie. That's why she's got five women screaming at her face that she's not a good friend because she didn't yell at Kim Zolciak for Neenie. That's why she's crying. She's crying because the breaking point was Cynthia say, I mean, yes, she is at her breaking point, but like, you know, she's still crying about a dormant. Like my mom gave me a dormant and sentimental. Like you just got that house, okay? If that dormant were from your childhood, maybe it was, maybe we need to know the story about the dormant, but I'm assuming it probably came

from Marshall's, like was recently purchased in the past four months. I just don't, I think what I took from it, I know this is going beyond words, but what I took from this is she's just is going beyond words, but what I took from this is she's just being attacked by events. I mean, fucking girls, you know, and that they're going down to even attacking or fucking welcome.

You know, it's like, fuck. I mean, you have a point. You do have a point. I mean, I could see myself. And she didn't hit anybody and she didn't drag anybody by the weave. And you know, Marla was waiting for that. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you do have a point. I mean, I could see myself crying if someone

made fun of some petty shit like that. And I'm like, my can't just let me live my life, you know, but that being said is that Porsche, when they do make these points, Porsche doesn't seem to ever understand the points, you know, they do seem to go out of their way to be like, well, this is what you did to Candy last year, but I think they keep saying it as we said later because business at this point Neenie's coming after her Marlos coming after her she's already spoken with it's at this point that is done It's between Candy and Porsche. I don't you don't just get to come at me for every fight I ever had with my roommate, you know from ten years ago, you know, that's not I like to my roommate, you know, from 10 years ago, you know, that's not like to.

By May, but it's, it's not marlotte's. That's true to I'm sick of hearing it from all these women, because I don't have enough fucking life to talk about on the wall, you know, I say that's, that's probably true to, but I also feel like Porsche probably has dragged them into it. And it's been like talking to them about I'm just trying to get in go with candy, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. And I'm going to go to lunch with Porsche. the rest of you all can stuff the fuck up. Okay, now all of that soap box that I and anger at that I just had this is like I said about Marlo when you're like they're so nice.

Why could anybody ever hate them? Then we get to the real Porsche under because she goes she's made Marlo lose it because now Marlo is just like saying nonsense, you know know like Needy when Needy gets to man she's like blu-brr-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk-dunk- hear out me and I could ruin her, but I won't. Because me need told me that in confidence. I was like, oh, so Porsche is holding out some well, but that was me. Oh, I thought that was later on, but either way, because they're talking and Marlo just loses it and she just grabbed Porsche's fan just pulls it out of her hand. And then it's like, oh, tense. And they all stand up and it's a whole bunch

of bunch of like, you know, chaos, et cetera. I never had to be separated. And, you know, and of course, candy is the first one to mention that when Marlow pulled the fan out of Portia's hand, that's exactly what Portia did when Kenya had the Scepter at the reunion, you know. So turn it up. But the Scepter was directly in Portia's face and the fan was directly in Portia's face. At least Portia had some personal space and I will stand by it. I mean, the fan was, it's hard to say, I don't think the fan was as rude as the scepter, but the fan was still, it was still pretty rude and especially when you're dealing with an animal like Marlow, you know, I mean there's no one is right in this situation,

no one is right. I'm not even sure if they were new what they were arguing about at that point, but all I know is the woman had to be separated outside and and Candy was, Candy was getting mad because she's like, see, no, right, I'm always getting dragged into a little situation no matter what they was making about me and I just want to eat my therapist, right. And then Marla is just spouting off nonsense. She goes, you can't even spell vegan backwards. I will. She does. It's on the on the welcome app. Maybe you should notice Dave. Why is that? Nega. But you know, the thing is, you know, the funny thing with Ken, with candy is that she's always

talking about how she's getting dragged into this because, as we've been saying, anytime anything happens, they're like, well, Porsche, like you should, like that's like what you do with candy. That out of candy with candy. Like, candy's always getting dragged into it. But the funny thing, and candy's like, I'm always getting dragged into it, but she doesn't do anything to stop being dragged. She doesn't say, listen, guys, leave me out of it.

It's my issue. She loves it. She loves it because this is all Porsche's punishment. That's the way, that's the way Candy operates. She's like, you made your bed and now you have to lie in it. And that's what happens. Yeah, from Candy's point of view, she deserves it. Yeah, I'll say that.

Probably does. Yeah. So, she raised like, oh, now Mothers trying to make it seem like he was to get anything. Oh, no. Oh, no. Malthus was wrong on all levels. Porsche can't catch break with these cars, which, you know, I kind of agree with. I mean, Porsche, I've already gone on about how right and or wrong Porsche is throughout the seasons, but this is just getting to be a little bit much of Porsche for me. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And by the way, while they're all like yapping away and screaming, et cetera, I love watching all the

Europeans walking by looking so confused like, what these people? Just like staring like walking by like what? Like just like like a European rubber necking. Yeah, there's like lots of the hell is happening here. I don't know why they're rushing their Russian. What's the hell is happening here? A bunch of Eastern European tourists. So some of them get in the car and go back to the hotel and candies are at the house and candy's walking in. She's, oh, we need to tell this lady to get a bigger mat.

So the funny thing is, by the way, is that I'm actually in the market for a dormant. So this was really hilarious to me. So after some talks with their significant others, it's a big, nice, hard-to-heart with Portia Nini, where Nini gives that face where she's just like her whole face is in her hand and she's like Like I'm exhausted Yeah So much like okay portion really didn't I'm not sure if I'm not

sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not

sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I'm not sure if I on me, because I'm a small dormant. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe That's the lesson that should be learned. And Neenie is saying things about sisterhood and going through the low points, the high points. At this point, Neenie is just thrilled because A, Porsche is showing that she needs her. So Neenie feels relevant. So she's happy with Porsche again.

And B, she's got to get her allies now. And she's got to win Porsche in the battle for, because Porsche is in between Kim and Neenie. So Neenie's got to win over Porsche again if she wants to go for the long haul against Kim. Yeah, none of those girls gonna stand by you girl. Nah, they won, I'm gonna win.

Yeah, so basically Portia wants to leave the trip and Nini tells Portia, listen, everyone just wants you to say, I fucked up. That's all you need to do. No one feels like you've really been accountable and you just have to say, I fucked up. And- As much as ever.

I said that once in this entire fucking St. Ross in 10 years, ever. Of course not. Of course not. I think she's right. I mean, I think they're both right because Portia's like, I went everyone individually. I thought that meant something.

But I, you know, there's just a way, there's just an intangible way of when someone takes ownership of something It's hard to say what it is But sometimes you just need to hear someone say listen, I fucked up lecture I fucked up and I think that she hasn't really Had that ownership so even though she did talk to candy one-on-one and she's like I accept whatever whatever She still is like I believe too hard a friend. I was like, I believe it. Just say you fucked up.

Just say you fucked up. Yeah. Well, good luck at the housewife, so you could be waiting a while. Yeah, exactly. So it looks like Porsche is leaving. Who knows? I hope she doesn't leave the trip.

I hope she's still around next week. But I do like that when the gang left the villa to go to the hotel. They all go, bye, Mildoo, bye, Mildoo. Thank you. Thank you. Bye, Jordan, babe. Bye, Jordan, babe.

Did I push together? Like I said, a lake house. Well, that brings us to the end of a really long-ass episode of Real Housewives of Vid Lanter. We sure love you at Lanter. Everybody, go over to watchupcrapins.com to get live show tickets and merch. And we will see you tomorrow with some Vandipump rules. Yeah. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

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