Watch What Crappens - RHOAuckland: Bus Stop Models

Episode Date: July 28, 2017

We jump into the Real Housewives of Auckland pool and laugh our asses off today. These ladies are rich, tacky, and hilarious. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-slashwatch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there. What's what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors me a handsome low-hawk Kristie Dowardy just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson we love you girls Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about it on you'll brawl I'm Ronnie Karen from trash talk TV in the Rose Prick Spatula podcast and is used here I am with my little bestie Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blinter. Hello, Bean Hello, how are you today? I'm having such a good day. Bolly good I'm having such a good day, bully good. I'm so excited that we are finally covering the real housewives of Auckland. People have told us it's so

good, but we hadn't watched it until this week when it finally premiered on Bravo very quietly in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. And it was it was admittedly about six days ago. So certain are going to be a little hazy but what a fun way to end a week of crap and then by talking real house has a lot of this show you know the the imports are some of our favorite things to cover this one is new it's you know kiwi so the accents are a little different and all over and we're still getting to know the ladies We just had one I Warned everybody on shaw's on Monday. I don't know what the fuck they're saying a lot of the times and I didn't want to make

This a five hour event so I'm just gonna go with my notes even though they're probably completely wrong and crazy Yeah, no, that's fine. This this will be interesting Luckily we have below deck with its mix of South African, Australian, and British accents. So we've sort of, at this point, I feel like we've just kind of settled on a pan, a pan non-American English accent. That's a mix of, it's sort of just a little bit of everything. So I'm assuming that our New Zealand accents

are just gonna wind up sounding like bugsy and Wes at all time. Yeah, and a mixture because then everybody there is from someplace else. So they're mixing accents and we got to get better as the season goes on. They will get better. But for right now, they probably all like this. And actually it's funny because a lot of times when we do our Australian accents, people tell us that we sound more like New Zealand accents than Australians.

So maybe this is the show we've always been waiting for. Oh, well, yeah, then maybe we'll finally get it right. Yeah, on accident. Yeah, that being said, oh, God, did I love this episode? I was cracking up. I thought it moved briskly. I was thoroughly entertained by all the ladies. I thought they were funny, but most importantly, I felt invested in the big feud. I immediately was taking sides. There were immediately people I liked, people I disliked, and I loved it.

And then I was changing sides because then you kind of changed sides throughout the feud. I mean it has everything now every time a new housewife show comes on I love how they open it because you know every housewife show has to do that We're rich and in this town the rich are up here the polar down down Rich people have elevators poll people have stairs In this town is not what you know. It's who you know. And where can you get your scones? Cause rich people eat scones.

Poor people have furniture stores. Rich people have cretin' bearls. Some of them are like cretin' bearls, like demon markets or whatever. In this town, if you rich, sleepy two means check behind two people because they're the ones who are poor than you. In this town, rich drive rules roars. Paul people get driven over by rules, voices. Okay, ladies, okay. I like that this one starts at ghetto. They they warn us what they're getting us in to. They, okay, ladies, okay. I like that this one starts at ghetto. They they warn us what they're getting us into. They're like, okay, we could only find a few rich

people to do this. Because this one, the first line is, we're new money, mates old. And the attitude is everything. I'm like, uh, uh, they're warning us. They have poor people and poor people who survive on attitude alone. That's two out of three that are poor. Even the sheep wear jewelry here. I'm making a lot of sheep jokes. I'll tell you what the sheep here are not sheep. They're expensive. We don't have walls and sheep clothing. We have sheep and sheep clothing. chic clothing. For a home here you have to have kish but money alone won't open every door which is why rich people have keys. If you didn't have money you don't have a doorway

but if you have money you have a door. By the way I fully missed the opening thing where there's just talking about this is what was like and I'm just I'm just Making up what I imagined they were saying cuz I saw it happening But like we were I was watching with my friends Neil and me and we were sort of like Very excited and settling in so we sort of missed this first part. I saw I watched this and ticked notes on the entire Two-minute segment I figured you would Last week then that's why I didn't tell them to rewind.

I was like, you know what, Ronnie's riding it all down. In New Zealand, Wade, the rich don't have waxen worries. We have coins. So she's like, we're rich. And then they cut to like a party on a patio in the backyard. I was like, yeah, there you go, ladies, just dropping those coins everywhere you turn. And someone goes, you're a runt.

It's how you get it. And more importantly, hey, you spin deep. So funny. In New Zealand. That's it. that's it. What is it? Two ladies at the beginning of all names in and Z. Listen, we're not from Old Zealand. If there's not even an old Zealand, we're so rich we're always new. In a city of sales, you've got a weather in a storm.

If you can't navigate the waters, you'd bed at bat and band their hitches. It's like, okay, now we're getting into weather. Okay. Now we're getting into maritime weather. Can we scale it back later? In the city, in the city of sales, if you need to be towed along, then I'm not going to be a tugboat. So're opening lines are pretty amazing. Julia, who looks, Julia's the one who looks like the chick from Felicity and the Americans, right? With the real tight Joker smile.

You know what, let me bring up their names because I have their names, I have to remember their names, their faces. I just remember Louise is like the main one. Oh, Julia is the blonde one, right? She looks to me just like Carrie Russell, just like her. And she's got that creepy Joker smile like Carrie Russell has. Like they were taught when they were young.

Don't smile too big because you look poor or whatever. So they have that like real tight lip joker smile. Like that. But her line is, if people are talking behind you back, that means you're in front. Yes, I like that line actually. I was like, that's a good one. I like that.

Unless you're just walking in a circle in which case. Yeah, or unless you're like in a firing line or not always best to be in front. If your friends are always sitting to the left of you, that means you're always right. And then Misselle, the model, she's like, I used to strip myself and now on the model has wife. And Louise, he's like the older one from, um,

the weakest link. The weakest link. She's like, I made my money the old fashioned way. I inherited it. Which I think is a brilliant line. Yes. I'm so looking at the cast. No, it's okay. I have the every single thing.

Angela, who's the big football player model who's like being played by the same actor that played Hagrid in Harry Potter. And also what's her face from Melbourne? She looks just like, what does it look just like? But she looks like a Shine Shine Shine. Shine Shine Shine. Angels on the shoulder. Both of them, the shoulder pads sitting on angels

sitting on shoulder pads. Superior mid-avangials and shoulder pads. Shine Shine Shine. She looks like a giant version of her. And she's like, my name may be STEM, but everything I'll teach tunes to go. Except for stowns, which is sort of odd. Yeah, that turning everything into gold.

Remember that fable that didn't end well. Like he touched the stutter than she turned to gold. You know, like you can't masturbate. That story never ends well I don't know why people say that also next time you turn your leaves into gold You're gonna get yourself knocked out when you hook them on your head so that just then we've got killed that Yeah, oh, no, that's not guilt. No, it's like the I Yeah, she's Persian New Zealandish which makes for a very strange accent. Yeah, she's like I never

Did a fight I can't lean right? She's totally bored and non-energetic. She's like a whole girl so excited to be And I wrote down and I thought ends was funny because it like didn't didn't really have an arc to it. She's like I'm like a fine champagne I double a fees and I'm the life of the party I was like oh I thought it was gonna be like and I pop off or something and she's like the small one who poses really hard they're like okay give it give us two different poses because you know you move back and forth in your house while I was opening she's like oh man boom boom boom change shows a show the chin pelvic bone

she's just popping off all over I need I need that girl in every seat so there's two roles voices guilders in one and Louise is on the other. And Guilders like are Louise. Sorry, I'm going to be doing that the whole show. So it's like, I like my friend, Guilder. She's smart. She's stylish. And she's always invited to the Beast of Instant Town. And Guilder, there's a party, it's the party, it's a fishing party. Gildo, you want to go to the fishing party? Yes. Great, you're enthusiastic and infectious.

I don't go out much because I have the kids, etc. You remember what that is like, no, no, not really, darling. I really don't. So we start to learn a little bit about who Louise is and the very first thing she tells us is that most people remain in me because I was the hostess of the weakest link in New Zealand. And they show like footage of her being like, I'm sorry, you're the weakest link. Good boy.

Yeah. Which is something that should be said on these show as way more often than it is. Yeah, this show, it's about time we got a crossover with the weakest link in this show. It's like, sorry Joyce. She's like, a lot of people, a lot of people see me as just, they only have a good fun with it. I was just a, you know, it's the weakest link. What people don't know is that I'm a professionally trained actor from a top acting school in London.

I was in our house when I was 14 years old, so there, our house. People think that I'm just a lady on TV who says one line, have another thing come in. I've got a theatre company. And she's walking around a set and she's like, Er, it looks like the set's ready. He's like, yes, ma'am, the set's ready. She's like, what about the F word? Have I heard any complaints about that from the T.M. people? the sets ready. He's like, it's me. The sets ready. She's like, what about the F word? Have

I heard any complaints about that from the Tans people? Yes, well that's what we are. I'm like, oh, look at you. Having the balls to pull off the odd couple. Your community theater or whatever. I'm gonna stage my one lady production of Pretty and Pink, the musical. She says, I'm sure when people hear my name, they say Louise Wallace, that little bitch, well, they can think what they'd like. It doesn't bother me. Mikey, you know, you already have your opening line, right? Like everything she says is her opening line. She's like, I don't just go to fashion parties.

I am fishing fashion parties. I am fishing in parties. And then she said, then she's introducing us a little bit more to her life. She goes, we live in Auckland's most prestigious street, brush, brush, dry. I was like, what? Prussia, Harsha drive? What a whole drought. You ever been to Prussia, Harsha drive? I'm sorry, but your mother's turn afrazes the weakest link. Goodbye. Well, I have a lot of help. I've got me, Gardner Christine. Hello Christine. She's like, hello, mom. Those flowers for me, Christine. Are you alright? Christine, she's an absolute dig.

I just lied. Could you tell? I'm an actress. I just lied. Could you tell? I'm an actress. Hi, let me guess you're making your family lamb tonight. Had you know I was making lamb? That's all you make me. Yeah, dig. Yeah, dig Christine. Keep it up, Christine. This lamb material is going to play real well. Her list of employees is probably my favorite of all time. We always get a list of employees is probably my favorite of all time. We always get a list of employees from the rich ones. And she's like, I've got so much help being a Jones.

I've got the ironing lady. And it just cuts to a lady ironing. A pool boy, a hand man slash builder, and a guy who looks after the lawn. And what do I do? Nautilus. Like how much ironing do you have that you have an ironing way? Well, she's not so much that she does a lot of ironing. She just plays the role because guess what? They're all members of my acting trip. Everyone. Uncoordinated company. Am I right?

You're a dick! We're doing Oklahoma next week. She goes into her game-mute husband and she's like, which outfit is better, honey? And they're both hideous. They're both like, like, old lady clown costumes. They're both terrible. And she's like, what makes Scotty and me work? Is Scotty doesn't need to be a star as well. On the star. What's the thing?

And that's me. He's just an average link. And it works. He's strong enough to keep my chain together. Did you get that? Is that a go? Is that a go where it is? Is that a go? Alright, now let me introduce you to my two adult kids.

Let's have some fun with him. Hey, kids dating these days. Am I right? How do you learn? How do you meet people tender? Ha, I thought that was something you did together together together That's a smaller boat that takes it to a larger boat. That's a tender darling not a gender

Is playing well is this playing well? I isn't that what they reach into to give you ones from your 20 No, mom, that's a tinder. Kids. Kids, is that am I right? Acting. So we go back to the Soul Bar and Beastro where the fashion show is happening and Louise is there and Gilda shows up because she Louise hasn't finally gilded and some friends and Louise is very excited. She's like, it's going to be a glitzy. It's a ticket to the fair. Like all my productions at the Louise playhouse.

And of course it's another opening line. It's like, it's a ticket to the fair and of course I've got the top table. Got it boys. that worked for you boys. It's like how many seasons of openings are you gonna shoot tonight Louise and The top table they were basically in a CC's pizzeria, okay, and they cleared out an aisle Like I was surprised Kim D wasn't there walking down strung her stuff I'll tell you what's posh. I'll be the judge of that so Gilder comes in and she's like I'll be the judge of that. So, Gilder comes in and she's like, Gilder came from Iran years ago and she burst onto the social scene. I was like, you know what,

when someone comes from a land of war, you should not be using burst in any way to describe them. Okay. She's like, wow, I was worried that she bombed, but she made an explosion onto the scene. The girl is on fire. So now we get to meet Gilda. We learn that she has an ad agency, but she was also married to a super rich guy who was much, much older than her. And she was, he was

in her 70s when she was in her 20s, yikes. Yeah. And then they had, she waited until she was 29 to have kids, right? And she had two little kids. And but then they got divorced six, six years ago. And the kids are like seven. I'm sorry, that math is not adding up. I am sorry, Guilda. I like you a lot, but that is some funky math.

I'm glad you don't have an accounting firm because there's no way that that kid, like the older kid is six or seven and you had that kid when you were 29. No way. Yeah, no honey. No, no, no. Yeah. So she's like, wait, I had a very, I had a very dynamic childhood and then they show how the family picks and everybody's faces blurred out. I was like, okay, so everybody hates this bitch. Yeah, yeah. No one would be in a picture with Gilda, even in a memory. They're like, no.

Yeah. So then, unless it could be like some weird international format thing we're in New Zealand, it's okay to show family members, but in America, you can't so America had to blur them out. I don't know. But I just like to think that everybody hates her.

Because she doesn't have that kind of attitude where she's like, what did I say? What? What did I do? All I mean is that you should sit down some of the time. We're standing. It's like everything she says sounds so offensive. I know. So, so yeah.

So basically, her whole thing is that she came from Iran. She came to New Zealand after the revolution. She married Rich, has two kids now, and she looks thoroughly displeased with everything, which I sort of love. Yeah, she looks very El Paso's nudie to me. Like, really rich Mexican ladies from, you know, Mexico, like the nice place, I don't, you know what I'm trying to say, like the fancy part of Mexico who moved to El Paso and they're all smoothie at the country club and they're like, oh my God, these Mexicans. You're reminds me of one of those ladies.

Yeah. So Gild is like, you look like a bond girl. I don't know why I wrote that. I wrote down those for literally everything I'm so sorry. So Julia comes in, she's the one who looks like Carrie Russell to me. Yes, like, native wax. She's like, boy, my name is Julia.

And I like looking good. I walk into a room and people look at me. And I'll say, hello, it's me looking good. I feel like Julia is perpetually looking for the spotlight waiting for her big moment and it's always being stolen by someone else. You can just see she's like, here I am, here I am. Oh, oh, here comes someone else. All right, okay, fine.

Yeah, because she's the one who had the line like, if they're talking behind you back, it means you're in front. Wait, I was in front of someone else that stood in front of me. I'm all right now. I'll let them in front of someone else that stood in front of me. Hi, I'm all at them in front. But what happens if I'm looking in a mirror then who's really in front, all my the reflection, so many questions?

Who am I? We're doing that play next year, Julia. You should come audition. We meet Julia's gay, his name is Sid, and I was like, who does Sid look like? He looks like someone, and I realized Sid looks just like Anne Frank. But like a fabulous Anne Frank, a fabulous Anne Frank,

and skinny white capris and a headband and long hair. Yeah, he looked exactly like honestly, it's, it's, it's, I'm not even trying to be kind of also about, about Anne Frank. He just looks like honestly. It's it's it's I'm not even trying to be call us about about Anne Frank He just looks like Anne Frank. He's he's he's like Anne Frank She's so wet. She didn't just come out of the closet. She came out of the attic. Welcome any Frank So best on to the scene So the best part about Julia is that we then see her 80s commercials where she was a model.

Oh my God. So fabulous. Yes, it's just like a skinny girl and mom jeans and claw hair just leaning on things. So there she is leaning in a serial commercial. There she is leaning in a bug spray commercial. She's like, it's right. I was a model and man, my days are so full. There's a manicure, a pedicure. I can't keep up with his lesson. Julia, she lives some fabulous livestock. I wrote down this thing where her big story was,

you know, I went to Peru. I said, let's go to Peru. So we did. It's like a great story, Julia. Peru. I said let's go to Peru so we did. It's a great story Julia. And my daughter, she's at that age. Where she turned down Peru to get shopping at Nimhawket with her friends. The other day I was like I like this picture. I'm gonna print it out. So guess what I did? I printed it out. When we wanted to buy a knee pants from my daughter they said you're gonna have to pay for those at the cash register And I said I think I'm going to ink his what I did They said cash or credit. I say how I'll give you I'll want up here one more Apple pay. I guess what bought it

Hey, you got a paypal link I have pals and higher places like PayPal. She's trying on clothes with her daughter and her daughter's like you look stupid man. I've got the likes for this be nice to your mother. She's at that age. She thinks she knows about labels. So we meet her husband who's like I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that.

I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. They're like reanimating their faces to put them in a movie. It's like cocoon five electric blue.

The cocoons never open. Bigger longer more cocoonier. Yeah, he's definitely she's like he's a little older than me and then they show the pick and he's like show the pick and he's like, Oh, she's a she's in an art gallery now. She's like, we have a peach in for all. I have no idea how much we spend that's easier.

So then the final guest to show but the fashion show is Angie Stoun, who's this very tall, big presence with a crazy permissile at all times. And my favorite thing is they're like waiting for her and she just comes walking in, sontering up to this restaurant so slowly. I'm like, where is the urgency? I would get, I would go mad watching her walk up to a restaurant.

Like, come on, come on, you could do it. I'm like, I'm walking up there, clunking up there and your, um, bosom buddies, outfit or whatever. So she comes up and she's like, Oh, me and Jala. And she's all smiles and positive attitude all the time. Hello ladies.

She speaks like she's talking to a baby. An old time. And Louise, of course, She speaks like she's talking to a baby in all times. And Louise, of course, has the first of many attacks that come in just way. She's like, she's not either way, but she's a big unit. Speaking of boats, she walks like she's got a sail. Like damn, she's not the weakest link, but she's the one who's going to break the chain. And Gilda, yeah, she'd break any chain. No one would win my game. So if that girl was at the bottom of the chain, she's more like the wrecking ball.

I had a steady job on television until Angela played the weakest link. That's a big unit. So Gilda, who already knows that she hates her by the time they do this interview, goes, You know what I thought when I saw her? I said, wow, beautiful, tall, a lot of energy. She's amazing. You know, like when a big dump truck dumps a mental over something and you think, how will that mess ever build something positive? And yet somehow it does.

Like when you see Gilbert Grape for first time and you say, how amazing that someone could be that big, what a crazy world this is. Poor Johnny Depp. So, yeah, so, guilt. So, guilt. Angela, I lay these. When I meet people, I believe in giving gifts. So I've wrought you all a token. Just a little token.

It's a book that I've written because I'm a star list. And we should also mention when she shows up, sorry if I cut you off, but when Angela shows up, Gilda doesn't stand up or anything, she just sort of like turns, is like, how do you do? And so that's like, I mentioned that only because that becomes an issue later on. However, I believe, isn't it proper etiquette that women do not have to stand up to greet someone? Women remain seated if the men who stand up. I don't know.

I just don't think you stand up and hug a building. Yeah. You admire it and wonder how far up you want to go. I mean, it's like, yeah, I mean, I wouldn wouldn't want try to hug like Thanksgiving day float up. I came in I'm not saying that she's looking down at her like I mean yeah, I'm not saying that she's back. Yeah, she's not fast. She's literally is like a linebacker She's just tall. She's tall. She's a big unit and she has that crazy grin that only like parade floats have You know, yes, it's like she's colife is coming down the pike

Garfield or Something yeah, it's like you're checking to see if Snoopy has any bats in his cave, you know It's like I didn't want to get home So Angela we cut to her life because we're cutting back and forth between their real lives and she's like right on from Cris trades I live one wink from Oakland and one wink from Christ's trades I'm a serial commuter. No, it's not Christ. It's it's Christ church. Oh Christ church Yeah, which is actually like a city. Remember I got hit by an earthquake recently Well, she probably just fell down

You are what you we yeah By the way, we forgot to mention the sorry because I probably cut you off. But Angela was when she said, I describe myself as a life stylist. You are what you we are. I'm like, wow, you are what you wear. Where did you come up with that one, Angela? Every lifestyleist and that's her thing is about clothes. Yeah.

Like a lifestyleist would be like, it's not just what you wear. It's also what room you wear it in and how that's decorated. What's your mood? Let me see that through your plateware. It's not just like, I do the entire lifestyle. Do you like my pants? Hello.

So the important thing here, which I think you were about to get to, is you see Angela sitting in like a pile of dead leaves doing yoga with this crazy smile. It felt like it was one part shark tank bio, one part infomercial, and she's just smiling, like she's in some douche commercial, and like throwing the leaves up and they're like landing on her hair. She says, I'm really, I'm really spiritual. It's like this day's gonna be the worst. It's, I'm not now that I'm in my, I'm doing a long, long, long like throwing up the leaves.

It's like, nothing in my 40s. It's my duty to encourage women and their 40s to love themselves because style is about how you'd like others to perceive you. I'm like, way to go, dude. You're like helping people in their forties love themselves because of how they look. Like, you make no sense. I'm not bothered. So then, and we should mention the show is now,

like, only about seven minutes in. And I have just like been just cracking up, like amazing already. So when it comes back to the fashion show, show is now like only about seven minutes in and I have just like been just cracking up like amazing already. So when it comes back to the fashion show, and Angela is weighing in with her with her stylist eye on Auckland and she's like, you know, it's so funny. The women in Auckland, they dress so relaxed. They're in tunics all the time. I can't believe it. And like the ladies are getting totally totally offended. Like, are you serious? You know, Clint? Serious? I don't know how they do that. I need some jewels. Second, man. When the girl, they're like teenagers walking, right? And the

ladies are watching them like, wow, a flower dress. This is so original. And she goes, he's what I like clean lines. Ladies, everyone needs a great black dress. Don't buy like lady. This is not even a fashion advice. It's just like people need a good pair of pants. Don't they? Sleeves. They're great. This is a chance to actually she out my knowledge. You don't walk your breasts coming above your dress. Yeah, we know. Gild is getting so annoyed. Her eyelids are just like drooping down farther and farther and farther with disappointment. And she just wants to watch the fashion show. And Angela's talking through the entire show about every single thing. And Gild is just, she's like,

oh, I feel like I feel like Angel's commentary is like media rewards coming at me. My life being bombed in Iran was easier than a conversation with this woman. I just want to shove her into a hurt locker. So Angela I dress ladies for a living and season goes or not season the white late the white blonde lady Oh Louise oh Welcome Yeah and Guild is like you do everything. Oh no Guilda you do everything you model you style You dye your hair on the internet. Do you ever sleep girl? Yeah, she's so passive because she's like, wow, you're able to do everything. Is there anything you don't do?

Like, I don't know. She's up once in a while. Zip your lips. It's not in your repertoire. I take it. So Louise, Louise gets... Vocal media ward. You are vocally attacking Iran right now. So Louise is like, darling, who do you aspire to be? Martha Stewart type and she goes, well actually I love Oprah Winfrey. And Gilderga's, well if you want to be Oprah Winfrey, maybe you should talk less because Oprah lets people express their stories and I've only heard what you do.

And Angelica's, thanks, Guilder, wink. It was the most evil smile. Like the most evil of evil smiles. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view

from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So then we go over to Michelle. I think this is now the fashion shows over. We're just meeting Michelle right now and I really liked her immediately. Even though she wanted to be such a bitch later. So she's like, I love fashion. So I guess the angle on Auckland is fashion maybe? I'm not sure. Former models fashionistas. I guess it seems to be. She's like, it's my thing. I worked in fashion TV commercials,

posters. I've done quite a bit quite a bit like YouTube covers of like whatever She's like I've got a nice body of work. I'm married to David and their kid is just like oh kill me just fucking kill me He looks miserable. I know their kids are gonna be so hot when they grow up I'm not saying they're hot now, but you know you can tell when kids are gonna grow up and be hot Model kids saying they're hot now, but you know you can tell when kids are going to grow up and be hot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no They grow up to be hot super hot. Oh So she's like I'm in control of my house. I'm not gonna be bust around Hey David I'd really like proper handrails on these stairs Like you are you flex those muscles girl and then we see this home that they built Which is fucking amazing and these stairs are amazing? They're like a piece of art. He's like yeah, darling. We can can't, I didn't just buy the, I didn't just buy these stairs from Bunnings. And she's like, Oh, I'm like, sure of that, David. I'm like, yeah, you're really in control over there.

Meanwhile, there's a horse who really has the good, I, has the right idea about him, all these women, because she tries to get near the horse. Or so just like, just kicks her right. Yeah. It's like, get away from me. Yeah, she's like a little monster. And she goes, has he ever kicked you, honey? And her kickers. Well, he likes me because I actually spent time with him. It's not just pretend when cameras are around.

Look at her, little bitch. Good, I hope you fold down the stairs, then. So she meets Gild in the store to gossip. Yes. About pretty much about Angela. Yeah. And she goes, Save, tell me about the ladies and Gilders, like,

Well, I met this lady, Angela, who says she's in fashion. And she goes, Oh, fish, a Kiwi fashion design. I've never heard of such a thing. What you do, design costume for the hobbits? She's like she's a fashion lady, a cake maker, bus driver, castle design. I mean, just a fashion warden. A fashion warden?

And Michelle goes, here she's everything, everything but an Oprah. And Michelle, but an Oprah. I'm still such an asshole. I like a, I like looking at a model and then finding their fatal flaw because it makes me feel better because I'm not a model, you know, so I was trying to kick them down a peg in my mind. So hers is that she, her lower lip, when she's not paying attention, she judged her lower teeth out and they're all janky. And so she just has that like kind of lower, lower jinky teeth jawed,

that she doesn't notice until she's getting pictures taken. And they're like, could you please put your donkey jaw away? Sure thing. May be a little Alma model. So then we go over and meet our final, our final cast member could be now watching Julia. I said Julia visits old lady with champagne. And this is Ann. Ann is our old lady with champagne.

Oh, my favorite. My favorite. Ann is already by far my favorite. I don't need an excuse to part, but it's my, oh, no, that's not her first line. She's like, on the time of champagne, no, it's a butt. Oh no, that's not her first line. She's like, uh, on the time of champagne, no, it's a champagne lady. Indicate lady. Champagne of cats, you know, so here's the thing. I'm like, the whole thing about I just love

champagne. I love Bob, like, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, it's getting a little tired, but in this case, it works with this woman because she, I mean, she and her husband have a lot of money. Clearly, they have a huge estate. And when she says she likes champagne, this is not Shasha with her champagne room. This woman is like, she, she's got champagne.

And I was like, okay, this works. Yeah, this is just a rich lady really proud to be drunk at all times. So that's basically what she's saying. She's like, why don't you be so bad in a world of champagne? Don't be a bubble-head in the land of bulls. I've had about seven fion say's. There's Max and Tara and Michael and Julian and Julian too and Samuel and Roberta.

Yeah, that was a strange pure to my life and Robert which was formerly Roberta, also a strange pure to my life, of course. Oh and then there was Alvers, oh well I married that one, sorry, he was a nice guy, alright actually I forgot two, I forgot to mention two of them. You know we're so wild, sometimes my husband and I we just open up the French doors and just blast them, you know, they can just party. You know, nothing like an open French Dore party to get the party stuff going, right? Hence the sand control being called, we had it. We had it. We're so wild. We also live for cats.

Wait, can I say something about cats? Yeah. I feel like I'm having a Betty Buckley moment. My niece. My niece was recently introduced to cats and has been watching Betty Buckley's singing memory over and over again. Oh my God.

I learned that yesterday. And then when I was walking around in the Hamptons, yes, I'm sorry, not on Sunday, when I was walking around the Hamptons, there was a thing that says, Betty Buckley live sold out. I was like, Betty Buckley, that's so random. And then on the flight back, someone was watching thing that says, Betty Buckley live sold out. I was like, Betty Buckley, that's so random. And then on the flight back, someone was watching that movie's split,

that thriller that came out earlier this year. I just watched that on the planeback. Yeah, and it said, like third name in the credits, Betty Buckley. How was Betty Buckley? I was just about to say that too. I just watched her on the planeback in that movie's split.

Yeah, I was sort of like sort of watching it and then like, I was like, no, don't split yourself, split yourself then, and then as we're watching it, then not watching it. Yeah, she's the therapist. And I was like, oh my God,

the saddest cat ever became a therapist. Cause it's like, it's like such a nice arc to a career, you know? Yeah, I think I might watch that. It looked good. It's pretty decent. I liked it. I was just afraid,

I just didn't want to get startled on an airplane Especially during turbulence There's a little suspense. I mean it's suspenseful, but it's not disgusting Like no, it looks like it was more of a thriller like yeah, it looks good It's shaman and and secretly I thought James McAvoy looked really good with his shaved cereal killer hair Yeah, he's kind of hot. Yeah hair. Yeah, he's kind of hot. Yeah. So anyway, as James McAvoy said in split champagne, the only drink a woman can drink and still remain beautiful. Jim McAvoy said in split. As James McAvoy said in my favorite movie split, let's get more

cats than I write. I like that. She just keeps calling them pussy She's like my biggest challenge at the moment is getting the husband to accept more stray pussy's. I love pussy's I've set up a sanctuary for pussy Strays Straight pussy's and homeable pussy's pussy's from the street Pushing's without a hair. You love me right pussy and a claus there She's like hey whiskey your stagging the snuck ins I love pussy. They're so independent They they're what what did she said?

They go like I missed a lot of this show. I mean I was dying at her She's like the independent they go there and wait and they never come on they're called when I think about it on probably a pussy She's like I even had my garden Allen put a little tie I ended their cage that way they could pretend like they're going off into heaven Memories of yesterday when you almost took my stalking that I Keep collecting these cats, but none of them will sing for me I keep collecting these cats but none of them will sink for me. Alan the farm manager is probably like her second fiance that's just like I love you. I'm never leaving you. She's like, fine to the garden.

Also the dishes she just has them doing all of this stuff. And she's like, aliens sees me as a sister. I'm sure. I'm like, yeah, I'm sure every time every time you make him polish the random glass figurine he's like, ah, love my sister She's so funny. She puts on these little boots these little pink rain boots to walk through the backyard need to talk to you and to lay about the ground. Eileen, I put on my glasses. Eileen. And I love when it comes back to like present tense.

She just goes on a rant, much like we would about champagne glasses. Oh, hey, when people hold champagne glasses up here and I'm by the steam, warm it up those deep, it's slags. I know, season. Is it season? Sorry, I keep forgetting the white. Julia. Julia. by the stem warms it up those deepest flags I know season is it season sorry I keep forgetting the white Julia Julia she's like oh she's always talking even telling me how to hold a champagne glass or I don't hold it like that she

goes oh no you're busy but I hope you can come to me birthday because that's the only one day that can all be about me and it would be lovely if he could come. What I miss it! I'm literally doing nothing else right now. Oh, someone trying to see you, let's see. She's like, we went to a fashion parade and it was lovely, but Angela, she sure gave us a view. You don't give Guilda and Louise fashion guides. All right. They don't need fashion guides I'm trying to even read my nose. There's so many here

That I'm trying to connect the dots basically. Well, I see that they're basically they're they're talking about how Guilda is 40 years younger than her ex And they're like, man, can you believe it? She's 40 years younger. Wow. And then it's her laughing back older being a gold digger. They're like, well, I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she hasn't been with any broke, broke, broke. If you know what I mean. Mm-mm-mm.

She hasn't been with any broke pussy. So I'll tell you that much. If she's willing, Lord knows I've got one for her, then die, Shampas. So Susan's like, Lord News, I've got one for a damn time, Shampas. So Susan's like, well, maybe she think she won't call her Gold Digger. I wrote down a different white girl name every time she came on screen. I'm so sorry.

She's like, well, then, and it was cool or a Gold Digger, because maybe she thinks, I'm a Gold Digger as well. I'm like, you are. You are a Gold Digger as well. As'm like you are. You are a gold digger as well. As evidenced by you and your husband Mark walking around your vineyard and being like, I think I'm the perfect wife. I remember saying, perfect. That's how she's just perfect. Perfect. I was thinking of a girl's trip. I was like, I'd like to come on the girl's trip. She's like, no, it's not for the boys. What I thought would be nice for the

boys to come. I pay for the pants and I get into the pants that's my role. I was like, okay, old man. Keep it calm over there. So now they are, now they're going to go to, it's for Julia's birthday party. I think that's what they were talking about having a birthday party with just girls. And now it's the birthday party. And the women are showing up. And I think I may have heard this wrong, but did Anne's, as they are arriving for lunch, did Anne go, it's not Asian, is it? Yes.

It's not Asian, is it? It gives me a little bit of the woo-woo in the stomach. The only thing I'm not going to eat. So let's see, Angela. Oh, so yeah, they take a limo, right? They all get into a limo except for Michelle and Guilda who take a rolls to the party. Yeah, and Guilda's taking duck-faced selfies in the backseat. Yeah, they both get into the backseat

because one thing we didn't mention the Guilda said in the beginning. She's like, on Guer. I love social media. Why didn't you hear that? Yeah, and then she explains that she runs a PR for them and all this other stuff. So Michelle apparently loves social media too because they get in their car to go to a helicopter. Or they're like, there's the beast and then you just see them in the car and they're both on their phones. And the music goes, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And they're just silent looking at their phones, like an old married couple. We should probably mention the fact that Gilda has shoes that have lips on them. Yes. Did you notice that? And also, I'd like to thank Bruno Mars for showing up to play the helicopter pilot.

What was that? It was so crazy. Oh gosh. I don't even remember a helicopter. Yeah, they took a helicopter and killed us like, yeah, we don't want to be packed into a limelax audience. And why did they go into a helicopter? Maybe they just went into a nice car because I wrote down.

A real noise. Oh, so it was just the roles I thought they were gonna come in a helicopter. Maybe somebody wrote a joke set a joke about it and I took it as for real There was a Royce. I was like, I don't remember a helicopter So there weren't you know, they're already talking about this fucking Antelochic and missus like oh really want to meet Angela Who I'm really secretly excited to meet? Like she came out wait to dig into this girl.

I know and I also love that in this scene, I believe when the limo people show up, Angela and Ann are standing right next to each other. So you have Ann who was all of like three feet seven and then Angela who's seven foot nine. And they're just like walking next to each other like like a like a like a little toad stool in a redwood you know. It's different since all this makes me laugh.

Yeah and Angela's like well I'll be meeting Guild again. I'm just gonna have to take it one step at a time. It's like battling alcoholism. One very slow step at a time because I lock very, very slowly. Don't want to cause another Christ churchquake. So, um, so they are, so they're showing up and Julia has some anxiety about this luncheon because she doesn't want Angela to jeopardize her new friendships with Gilda and Michelle because I guess Gilda Michelle are newer and Julia really wants to be friends with him, but she's afraid that Angel is gonna ruin it all. Yeah, she just wants to be like tacky with the other ladies, but also still be my stand, and it And it's obviously not going to be possible. So they all now

they're all there. And, uh, and I'm like, lighties, why don't you come in the limo with us? What a time it was a car that was stretched out real long like we turn the music way up crazy. So I was pussed there. And I could have had so many cats in that car was so big. I'm just like, um, well, actually, I don uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, It's not taking easy. It's not taking that we took good to come here, is it? So then the best part happens, which is they're all talking about, you know, Michelle's new and they're talking about Michelle being a model because Michelle really was a model.

Michelle's gorgeous and everything. And so Michelle's talking about modeling and Julia being the parts der of the group. She's like, oh, you know that Angela's a model too. And so Michelle just goes, oh really? Plus size? Just comes right out with it. And Angela smile gets even bigger,

which means she's about to blow. She's like, clasps. And she's like, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Sorry, I'm just saying. To be fair, if Angela were a real model, I think that she wouldn't take any offense to that.

Angela is like, plus size model is a size 16. Do I look like a size 16? How dare she. And I was like, I was upset for if it was me out of a smak coming back. So Angela's, Angela goes, I are actually the face of tourism New Zealand. You may have seen their fall couture line in a drug store. And by couture, I mean a postcard. Tourism New Zealand and Gilder Girls. That's not close.

Zealand and Gilder goes that's not close Fashion it's fashion For example the last time I did a runway I was wearing a bus stop Everybody quite liked the film posted it was on the front of me Listen I'm on the side of a bus. I and uh I haven't already go with that. I'm on the side of a bus and I have nowhere to go with that. I'm sorry everyone. So I was in the new pot holes in the street one year. That went over real well. I'll get telling people watch out boys or I'll blow my lid, get it, get it, get it, everybody. It's fishin' and girl just like, oh I thought you meant that you were gonna do the, you know,

the finger like finger walk or whatever And she goes, you mean the catwalk is that what you mean because that's what we call it in fiction And it's like cats um, I like that Julia then tries to jump in it's gonna pushy walk And Julia goes, oh, I was a model to you and then everyone she's like all excited I was like really and then someone else is like well, I modeled also and I did too. And then everyone, she's like, all excited. I was like, really? And then someone else is like, well, I modeled also. And I did too. And just see it, they cut to her face. And her smile just descends into sadness. Like, oh, very well. They like, I guess, don't get back. I'm a model. Yeah. She's like, I

did modeling. And then everyone else says they did modeling. Would it be so hard for them to treat me like, on the model here? Since it's my birthday. Would it be so hard for them to treat me like on the moral here since it's my birthday? Everyone's like why is the bus lady singing I mean talking I mean, I don't know I don't know I met bus boy and see I can't get my words out Because well, you know one thing I've always believed I don't rely on my physical appearance to get anywhere I'm like oh really 20 year old who married a 70 year old rich fuck you think that was because you were so intelligent At 20 and he just couldn't stay away from your glittery personality you totally relied on your looks to get where you are So gildas are talking about like again how she doesn't use her she's never had to use her beauty professionally

And she's not an actress. She's not a model And she's very proud of the fact that she's neither of those things and then Angie starts to cry which is the classic I want to be a consent of attention and then Gildo's talking move you know, so she just starts to cry out of nowhere And go to the ghost What? There's just wrong big lady She just starts to cry out of nowhere and go to the ghost What? Wow She's wrong big lady. What is she? Why is she doing that and the miss oh go tourism model is crying?

Yeah, she's like crying oh Like myself basically laughing in her face classic plus size model cry I'll tell you what it's not making a thinner. Louise and birthday girl take her outside to cry on the balcony, even though it's right past the plate last window, so everybody's looking at them. And girls are like, I'm dumbfounded. I'm dumbfounded.

And Angus, I didn't say something did I? Like no, and like you have not said anything, okay? Yes, you're just being there drunk in the corner. We love that. That's good. Missed it. Missed it. It couldn't be the plus size modeling. That was ages ago. I mean that was five minutes ago. We all know any good model. Can't remember things past three minutes. Things that big don't have very large brains, very small memories, everyone knows it. Plus size model, minus size brain.

So outside, Angela is clutching her chest dramatically. And she's like, I just, I can't believe the plus size comment. I mean, here I am. A classic HOT KITUOR model who throws leaves on her head. How could you say those things to me? I'm model for tourism New Zealand. TORROWS, have you noticed how many people come to New Zealand? It's because of my vision. The way I hold up that brochure in the brochure photo is just simply amazing. I

can't believe she doesn't recognize that. I'm the weasers like I don't get glad I get glad. She's like I don't get mad I get glad. Sorry miss I want to help her with like feeling better. And she's like I don't think that woman thought you looked bad. I think she thought, holy crap, you're gorgeous. You're hugely gorgeous." Louise is like, I was acting. So, I mean, Perse, so here's my feeling. I mean, obviously, what Michelle said was super bitchy and passive-ressive and hilarious, but truthfully, you know, she was a model, and I actually think that if you're a plus-size model,

you're aware of what lane you're in and why you are a plus-size model and how you know the differences and you don't take it as an insult that you're a plus-size, you're actually probably pretty proud of it. Like, yeah, I found my thing here, I'm a plus-size, I'm curvier. So the fact that Angela got so upset

shows how diluted she is, I think. Yeah, because she isn't a normal size model. Yeah. And if she never said, if she never said she was a model and if Michelle just called her a plus size model, if Michelle said, you should model, you could be a plus size model.

Then she can cry all she wants. But don't say, yeah, I'm a model. And then she says, oh, plus size and then be upset about it. I'm a model and then she says oh plus size and and then be upset about it I'm sorry totally so on the inside guild is like well she might be tired maybe it's that time of the months and and and last and she goes that's too close to home honey took a lot of that and then killed it goes happens to everyone right and Michelle Michelle goes, no, and looks at Anne. She's like, no, this is the older one.

And she goes, I don't know what she's talking about, but I have no intention of going, ever, I never have, have any intention of going through my life's change, right? My mother went through Holmont's replacement so she was 83, and then she died. And she looked fabulous, dead. I said, listen to you eggs. you get right back into my body and you stay there until I die

So then so then Angela comes back in with a big smile and Michelle so bitchy is like Sorry, did we say anything to offend you? And so then Who's Michelle? I would sound the model Michelle's the the Michelle kill the friend. Yeah, sorry. I'm getting it the first episode. It's always a little tricky I know it's hard because I keep writing everybody like you like down wrong

Do you like how I said so Michelle says that and then Michelle wait who's Michelle? I know sometimes people listening to this show must just be banging their heads on the steering wheel. Especially the new show, my god. I know. So Angela's again doing this, you know, it's really really, you said, I was plus size, yard, yard, yard, yard. So Michelle goes, sweetie, with tits like that, you're not a normal size model, get over

it. Don't say I've offended you. I've already heard from Gildes so I can't do it to expect. But what about the tear thing? What about that tear thing you did? Was that pretend? Because then suddenly this tear is.

I mean, if somebody offended me, you know, I mean, look, Nash is not crying. You know, it's a show. It was a show that you were doing. I love how she just turned it around and started palting her. Like, you know, it's a show. It was a show that you were doing. I love how she just turned it around and started pouting her like you fake cried Yeah, she was wrong. She goes it was a performance No, and you know what just plus size model even mean and she goes it means like it sounds Are you plus because you know average size? That's what it means and Louise goes it means anorexic

because you're not average size. That's what it means. And Louis goes, it means anorexic. And Angela goes, I'll tell you what size I am. I'm woman sized. I'm New Zealand size. As you New Zealand tourism come to our country. We already live here, a stupid bitch. Next season, kayaks. Wait till you see me walk it down the runway, bitch. Ladies and gentlemen Peter Jackson I'm like trying to think of New Zealand stars. I like him think of his lord and Peter Jackson I'm sure there are others. I can't think of any of them So friends like oh well look. Oh your friend Rachel what? No, I was that's the only other person. I know from this your friend Rachel

Please make some friend Rachel references Here's my friend Rachel Julie's like I just want to enjoy my birthday What you have to thank it here's my birthday Some of Sheldon's like I'm like gold those tears to go now all day and seasons like or that white lady's like Julia back to me. It's the one day I get to celebrate my birthday, pay me compliments, not just in sorts to each other.

Could someone tell the candlesticks to stop talking? And then now Angela has decided that she's going to yell instead of cry because crying didn't work. And she doesn't really yell either, but in her positive throwing leaves up in the ear kind of a way. She's like, there was disgusting at the fashion show. So rude.

You didn't stand when I raved. It was the worst etiquette I've seen. It's disgusting. Gulda goes, I got up and said hi. She's like, no, you didn't. You shook my hand. And we said, goes, well, no, you didn't. You shook my hand. And we said goes, well, I can vouch for that. She is handshake.

Yeah. Yeah. Good old fish in here and shaker. And then end of this. You zip it. Why don't you zip it little, little minus side model? She's like, well, she's my friend. And I have her back crying lady.

And guilt is like, I'm not judgmental, but I observe and when people have smiled with everything they say and teeth is like always there these teeth. Like, don't you have emotions? Do you only have teeth? Why are you smiling? Which you know that's when Gilder became my bitch. Yes. No, Gilder from the beginning first scene, I was like, I thought I was going to hate her, but the way she reacted to Angela I was like oh I love Gilda and then they started talking about the Oprah thing again and they're just like you know Oprah, Oprah Winfrey you know she listens more you know you have to

listen more and speak less that's what you have to do listen more and speak less and then Louise trying to smooth over goes I think what Gilda is saying is, listen more and speak less. I'm like, yeah, she exactly, she said those exact words, Louise. I know, that was my Gilding personation acting. She's like, if you want to be like a brother, get a little red wagon and carry some of your fat around in it. That's what you should do. If you want to be more like Oprah, what you should do is throw yourself into the river and die, okay?

Goodbye. And poor Angela is just trying so hard to fight with Gilded because Gilded and Michelle were totally rude. They should be on the losing end of this, but Angie is making such an ass out of herself. She's like, well, all I'm doing is answering questions. It's like I'm on Oprah and not Oprah. And Gilded is like, all I said was it's not all about you if you're gonna be Oprah Okay, and she goes well look, you know, I am not that rude and she was oh, you're not rude You're rude enough to call me disgusting and rude enough to come after me and you are not rude

I'll use a loosen all and it's like And then this and this is it actually reminded me of Brian Smith's what was you know what's her name the the nemesis of Kristen Wigg's character in it. I can't even remember her real name in

real life the Irish actually great rose burn her character you know the way she was so perfect in the one upper. So here they are going just attacking Angela and then all of a sudden the waiter comes with this cake, an improperly iced cake, by the way. You're not supposed to be able to see the cake halves through the icing and it comes and Angela's like, here's something I try to do, try to do something nice for once, but I guess I'm just awful. And then the cake comes. It's like the worst birthday

ever. And it totally works for Julie though, because she's like, Angela, she arranged flowers for me. And now she's arranged a cake with flowers on top. She's adorable. It's like the only one who is nice to her on her birthday. It was so perfect. Like I love a passive aggressive. It wasn't even the cake was not even passive aggressive. It was just edited in so perfectly passive aggressive. Like oh I'm just a victim here. You guys are being up on me. But look I got a cake. And I love how she did it to you. She goes, well I'm not sure this is going to go well in the future. All then, I'll arrange something.

Yes, yes. Like, I get the last word and I brought a cake. And then it ends with Anne going, I'll tell you what, who would ever want a birthday like that? It's not the birthday from her. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And then the camera pans out and we see that she's just talking to a cat. In my life, listen to this?

This show is going to be amazing. It's going to be absolutely amazing and I promise to take better notes next week because I feel like I was constantly like, wait, oh yeah, that. Well, I took lots of notes, but when you don't remember, you can't do short hand for names, especially if I don't know them, you know, and I'm like wait a minute. What where am I they did a lot of jumping around in this episode like we're To try to take everything in and try to get a sense of what the show is all about So yeah, it'll get more legible next week. I'm sure So before we wrap up for the week, you know, it is Friday. So why don't we do a

Little crap in's mailbag? Shall we? Shall we? Shall we? A little bit of that? You know what I'm saying? So crap in's mailbag is where listeners get to write in questions and we read them on the air. If you want to write in your questions, go to patreon.com slash watch for crap and support us at the mailbag level or above. And then you can ask your question. We always really like this segment and we have a brand new mailbag filled with new questions. Let's see. Let's start with oh good old Mike Bowman. One of our favorites. Mike once sent me chocolates. It was very nice. So Mike asks, or he sort of says, hi guys, Luanne has her opinion, but I want to

know where does love start? Where does love start? Where does love start? You go first. I don't know how to answer that. How the hell would I know when you go adopt your dog? It starts on the yacht with elegant people all around. That's where love starts. Love starts when you see how cute your names look together in page six. Mike has probably so mad at us because he wrote this question

two weeks ago and it probably made more sense then because it was probably a reference to something that we said or was on the show but now it's two weeks later because we went to New York. He's probably like, you guys messed up my question. Yeah, thanks a lot, Jerks. I like that he's standing be doorkn your head. Yeah. Well, you know what, Mike? Love starts with you. It starts with you. It was Kansen. Mike, we love you. Love starts this Thursday, 16 Pacific time with the crap in time. Love. Well, that was yesterday. Oh, yeah. Love is.

You know what, it makes me want to sing that Vanessa Williams' Brian Mcnight song. Love takes. Yeah. I don't know the lyrics, so I'll just sort of mumble through them. Yeah, let's go. Let me stop you. It was from the 902 and 0 soundtrack. It's a great song. Great, great song.

So Mike, thanks for asking the questions. Are we just totally messed it up? So we go from one mic to another, Michael Horn. He says, so I just started a new job, and my boss's name is Shannon, which of course got me to thinking about what it would be like to have Shannon bedore as a boss. What type of boss do you guys think she would be like? Shannon bedore. Oh my gosh. Well, I'll just do it myself. It'll be that kind of boss.

So the alright staff we're going to have a meeting today. I want these Frappuccinos to be sure. You know what? I'm just going to make all the Frappuccinos. OK? I'll make them all myself because that's what I'm going to do. Should I write the names of the cups too? Should I do that too, David?

And every couple just say David. David. It's like, all right, we have coffees for David. David? David. She would be a passive aggressive micro manager without a doubt. OK, so do we have the expenses?

No, we don't have the expenses. No, we don't have the expense reports, son. OK, no, it's fine. I just thought that maybe they might be ready by now. I did ask for them two weeks ago, but no, that's fine. I'll just do them myself. Here, live Shambadourador killed by unfinished expense reports. Well, thank you for coming in for your employee review.

So the first thing I'd like to say is, do I look good? Tell me the truth. Do I look okay? Does this fit me right? I feel really weird in this. This is normally my type of suit wear. Do you like it? Do you really like it?

Do you love it? Or do you just like, are you saying that because I'm your boss or because you you like it? Do you really like it? Do you love it? Or do you just like, are you saying that because I'm your boss? Or because you really like it? If I hadn't asked you how this outfit looks on me, would you have told me? Or is it me listening a response from you? Because I would never want to do that. All right, well fine. All right, I guess I can get an F on my review. Thank you for coming in. Do you see the slump in sales? This slump in sales right here? That's the G. Gunvalson. All of this.

Uh, but we work in microprocessors. I don't care. I did Gunvalson. This now we're trying to do Gunvalson. David. David, here lies Shambler door. 40, 30 to 40 negative sales. She would just be the worst to work for.

Sam would be the worst. I think that's why they don't have any regular employees. Or she'd be that one he's always trying to tell a joke. Like, Hey, Marita. You're making eggs, huh? Hey, do you hear the one why the chicken didn't cross the road? All right, keep up the good work. Or she'd be like, you know, your work here has been so,

that makes me so so happy. Holy great. But I'm sorry, we won't be needing your services anymore. She's probably the first manager of like forever who enjoys doing expense reports. Let's look at this for a seat right here. All this is interesting, missy. Going charging this to the expense account, I wonder who paid for this sugar email. David.

David. Never used to like going to sushi zumba. I don't even know what that is. Sushi zumba. Sushi zumba. David. She's probably a lot of showing up into a room. So you're like, well, I don't like to talk to you

about your expenses. Can you explain this one, Lucy? Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. She's probably like, boop, Dolores. Hi. I'm just looking over this expense report you turned and you had a Caesar salad and a steak. Could you please tell me which have more calories? Is You're all fired. I don't think I'm one of them. I start CEOs.

I'm terrified of thinking, Shannon ever being in charge of anybody ever. You're so wispy, wispy, wispy. What else we got in that mail bag, being I think that's it for this week. So we will be back next week with more questions. And I would, I would play the closing music by my computer's frozen.

So that's just cool. Oh, well, there you go. There we go. Thank you so much. We will talk to you next week. Bye, everyone. Have a great weekend. Bye.

Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.