Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Bizarre Friend Triangle
Episode Date: April 25, 2018Time for part 1 of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" reunion. Who will earn the title of LVP's BFF? Who will piss off Erika the most? And who will Nell Carter yell at the most? All the a...nswers in our recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. I've been spread this so much that it's happened. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch or Crap Ins.
A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch and talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlock.com and the Banta Blender podcast and joining me on this
Happy Humpty is the super charismatic, super funny, super lovely, super patient, super joyous, super human, super
chuckley.
I love that I can be joyous and patient.
That's a good mix that you just gave me.
Yeah.
Well, it's Ronnie Carram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Prince Bachelor podcast.
Ironically, you were not patient enough to let me finish the platitudes.
They were good though.
But still joyous.
Still joyous.
You're just making shit out.
Once you went from patient to joyous,
I was like, only he's just stretching now.
You are patient.
I was on you blowing my nose.
Oh, yes.
Anybody who is still, anybody who's listening to this podcast right now is patient because
you probably watched Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1 and we'll probably watch until Reunion
Part 3.
Why are any of us doing this?
I don't know.
I'm doing it because Goddamnit, I still love this show.
I don't care even if it's boring and it sucks right now because I believe it's going to
get better.
But Jesus Christ, talk about a stretch.
I had to do it like five times
in the middle of this episode.
Yeah, I mean, I love Beverly Hills too.
They definitely had an off season.
It was, I'd said it for the past like three weeks in a row.
It wasn't as off as I think the final,
the final sort of perception of it is. It's just that it peaked, it peaked and then had
like the four more episodes, like everything from Berlin on was just boring and it just
left us all with a blah. I mean it was already like, it was only an okay season but it
had such a bad ending that's just like this was a really boring season. I actually feel
like it was more boring than Orange County last season.
In Orange County got a lot of life
for being a terrible season,
but I think Orange County at least had
some really funny moments, iconic moments, quiet woman.
Quiet woman was like an iconic episode,
and that was in what is viewed as one of the worst episodes,
what were seasons of that show.
This Beverly Hills this season had no iconic moments.
Well, we had a lot of fun with Orange County, no matter what anybody says. Yeah. That was a really fun season for us.
And this season was really fun.
I mean, even these lame episodes have been pretty fun.
I think last week was the first time that I felt fatigued.
Yeah. Why?
When it just turns into Kyle, well, you know what?
Why even talk about because we're going to go
about again 30 fucking times today. But before we do that, you guys tickets are on sale now for our second
Philadelphia show. Go to watchacrapans.com to buy tickets there because Philly was so popular. We
added a second one. And if you are going to be on the West Coast as we've been mentioning
We have shows and Phoenix and San Francisco coming up in June
That's gonna be amazing the San Fran ones on gay pride and the Arizona one is gonna be on rattlesnake pride
I believe so
Very important days for both cities
Dirt and clay pride. I love me some Arizona. I do. Arizona is a beautiful state. You
know, we make fun of it a lot because it sort of gets lumped in as like viewed as the
Florida of the West. It is actually a beautiful, beautiful state. And it's like I said yesterday,
I had so much fun when I was there on a little family vacay. And I'm excited to be there
with you, Ronnie. I think we're going to have fun time and Phoenix together together. Will you do shake with me? Will you get a date shake with me? Oh yeah, I'm very
excited. You're gonna date days. Yeah, so I'm very into smoothies. Date day to days. Yeah, okay.
I'm drinking a mango spinach and coconut water smoothie right there. Coconut melts smoothie right
now and it's just delicious. Can I just tell you my health has completely turned to rain? Oh yeah,
you're on your smoothie kick. I'm gonna get a smoothie later today. I've decided.'s just delicious. You know, I just tell you, my health has completely turned to rain. Oh yeah, you're on your smoothie kick.
I'm gonna get a smoothie later today, I've decided.
It's delicious, like my body is freaking out
that it has so many nutrients in it.
It's so weird.
But you probably have a healthy smoothie,
the only smoothies I ever get are ones
that are like chocolate peanut butter banana.
Well, I make those a lot too,
but I get the chocolate pat, the peanut butter powder.
Oh, so it's way lower.
It doesn't have hardly any fatter calories or health or nutrition actually, but I do mix
it with some kale and some girl.
I don't know.
I'm like on a nutrient drug addiction.
Good for you.
Good for you.
I don't know, Ben, because when you have a lot of nutrients, you're awake more.
And I'm really not sure what to do.
Like I'm not tired.
I'm not really pissy. I don't want to take an nap or sleep all day I've been sleeping like six
hours a night it's disgusting what do people do with this much time you are
almost sounding like the lyrics to David Bowie's seminal 80s classic modern love
I don't want to go out but I don't want to stay in I want a mango smoothie with K-Lan coke and...
Mango smoothie gets me to the mango smoothie
with the dark crystal filled with mango and kale and spinach and coconut milk
Well soon Ronnie with enough smoothies under your belt you will have a buff body
much like Andy Cohen in his little black t-shirt as he walked around the women backstage
before the reunion.
He was like, so tell me about, I'm not listening, I'm just showing up my biceps.
He's like, hey, Erica, you look really great today.
And she goes, yeah, it's okay.
Bouncing on behavior.
Yeah, the original car.
It's like her car car is the original what musical
now Carter musical.
See, we've already brought no car to rent. Okay, I have to say, I don't know how much of this
reunion is going to be truthful because you know know even if I'm taking really good notes
I lie half the time and I have a feeling we're gonna be making a lot of this and no let's make up shit
Let's make up shit. Let's spice it up because I
I mean I took a lot of notes but I didn't take as many notes because a lot of times I was just like watching I was staring out and I was just like
Sometimes I couldn't follow sometimes I could and a lot of times I like, I don't know if I need to take a note about this.
I think I'll just sort of like capture the spirit of it.
So with that being said, given that I did not write a lot of notes, the show opens
up with Nell Carter walking in on stage, dropping a, dropping a dust
buster into a fish tank.
I like that she's modernized to a dustbuster.
No, she wasn't a dustbuster in the fish tank.
No, it was a long vacuum.
Oh, she was vacuuming in there.
Oh, it's like a long vacuum.
You're right.
I thought that she dropped the dustbuster.
I got a dustbin in the fish tank.
Give me a break.
No, I know what it takes. Give me a break. Now I know what it takes.
Give me a back. Give me a shock.
It's using.
So Andy's like, whoa,
Rina, Lisa Rina, you've been Yoda all season.
Will it last?
Um, that killed off Yoda.
So I think we should stop.
We should stop talking.
She's like, we should stop Holly Gritty Yoda.
She's like, we should stop Holly Gritty Yoda. She's like, forever last it will. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hello, hi, hello, hi. Hi, how are you?
You are hi, hello.
I'm giving you a right now.
Hustle don't hustler the.
Baby hustle, baby hustle.
Lies of our days. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's like, wow Kyle, you really got a haircut. That is a real one.
That's not a pretend haircut.
Like when you cut off an inch and then talk about it
on this screen for a year and a half.
This is an actual haircut.
Louwearing pops up behind the couch.
She's like, it's my nanny.
So I'd like to say Kyle, you're welcome.
You're welcome for that haircut.
You're welcome Kyle.
It looks good on you considering that it's my haircut,
but it looks good on you too., considering that it's my hair cut, but it looks good on you too.
Anyway, I'm gonna disappear now, she just throws something down as a poof of smoke.
Turns into Nell Carter.
Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay. By the way, I do wanna give an update that I have put, I've got a Pandora station.
I have, I've submitted it through CD Baby
to whatever and I will let everyone know
once it's on iTunes because do popular band,
AKA like one person, I'm like, okay, well,
everyone wants it.
I guess I'll put it on iTunes.
Everyone wants it, I want it. I might even pay for Pandora. Just kidding.
Well, it's being submitted to Pandora.
Well, I already have it on my computer.
Siri, play that song.
Hey, Siri, give Kyle my haircut.
She deserves a break today.
Play that funky music, Siri.
Okay, so here we are at the opening. We did it still.
Yeah, we did it, guys. So Vanderfums like, where are you now? And it's my favorite time
of, yeah. And he's like, yeah, well, it's when our relationship went on this kids to
you, huh? And they're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, but it was
not a joke. Yeah, yeah, exactly. This is when it always gets, this is, she probably has
like a little bit, she gives him the silent treatment for bad and month, except she can't
because she has to do band and pump rules reunion too. Yeah. Do you remember when you attacked
me during two seasons ago? Because I leaned, talked to you into it. Oh, Andy.
The grids that never ends. He's like, Oh, it's funny, right?
She's like, no, it's not.
He's he's been fired and she's never tired. It's least a
van the pub the new host of watch what happens.
He was irritating people, especially Erica, which was kind of funny.
It actually was like, I kind of like it when Andy does that, so he did a pretty good job in this one.
He was just pissing everybody.
I remember Atlanta too.
Oh, by the way, this, you know, it's really hard for this show to put on this reunion
on the same week that Atlanta had their Kim Zolciak tape take down episode.
It was the Kim Zolsiak farewell party.
And it just, how do you have a reunion the same week?
How can you even think of airing one the same week?
Just let Atlanta take this week.
Just they get the win, they won the week, okay?
Yeah, don't go, don't put reunion up against reunion.
It's like the widest show ever.
It's like your Atlanta followed by this.
Yeah, and also to everyone who's been tweeting at us and emailing us and commenting, yes,
we have heard the news. Sugarloaf is a neighborhood in Georgia outside of Atlanta that we did
not know about. We thought it was either the Brazilian mountain or the ski slope or
we know it's just a funny name. I didn't know. I didn't know.
We'll see from Cicero loaf so well I mean I knew that she wasn't I knew they weren't referring to
Brazil where Kim mountain is. Even though her plastic surgery is kind of like in the movie Brazil.
Except not as demure. Yeah not as stretchy as we saw by the hard nose filler bone. I saw that.
I saw the filler knob that you were talking about. It's like a marble got stuck there.
It's like when you get too upset, your boat toxic is crazy and then just starts popping
out filler ping-pong all over the place. Like in one of those alien movies where a worm
crawls up their skin and then you see it crawling
around their face.
It's like tremors for where the actual worm is like, I don't want to emerge.
I'm embarrassed that this is where I chose to be a parasite.
I chose to be a parasite in the real house.
I have some Beverly Hills for you, you know.
It's a lantern.
So anyway, it's me and Beverly Hills.
We then see Doreet. She looks
like she's wearing some sort of like satin or satin bathrobe. It was like this purple shiny
mylar-esque something another. She's very intense. It's like if she was going to be in Spartacus,
but it's like she's a little kid doing Spartacus, but she doesn't have any money. So she's wearing
a bathrobe and then Bobby Pins is her little head shield thing. You, but she doesn't have any money, so she's wearing a bathrobe,
and then Bobby Pins is her little headshield thing.
You know, she's got tons of Bobby Pins.
Look at the pins, it's like a shield from the brain.
Guys, I'm Spartacus.
Guys, no, I'm Spartacus.
Guys, I'm Spartacus.
To read is already killing me because when he went to a dressing room before he
goes to read do you feel misunderstood which is the most hilarious question
because she's more misunderstood than the little monkey in door of the
explore it's like what the best thing to talk and she goes she tells them today
isn't that heaven of us and this is heaven of all. And then now she says, he goes,
are you excited to read?
She goes, I look forward to get through it.
If I'm quite honest, what does that even mean to read?
She doesn't even know.
She's busy like a doll that you like pull the string
and she has a different saying, you know,
Beverly Beach.
So then he's like, so Rena, you've gotten new hair too. She's like,
you've seen it before in Playboy.
My muffler's a style
And Erica goes bouncing and behaving bouncing and behaving
in the shock. Yeah.
Yeah, now Carter jumps in.
Guess bartender that goes to Nell Carter.
Give me a break.
So the Doreet comes up because Kyle's like, of course, you know, now I'm picturing you naked, Rina, thanks.
And Doreet's like, of course, you're able to do it, babe.
10 years ago, she used to read what a slam, you know.
So then then Andy turns to Erica and was like, Hey, Erica, you got the high pony today.
All the high teardrop ponies. Yeah, it's bouncing on behavior.
I'm like, you just said that about Rena's hair. Like, obviously,
some want one of the guys said it's bouncing and behaving batch.
And she's like, okay, that's what I'm gonna say. And she's like, that's
your bounce. She calls her hair. She like oh okay so now let's do an Erica montage
Girl from sugar loaf which is outside of Atlanta and
Not to be confused with a mountain in Reildersnaal or skislope up a
main or maybe even one in California. Put it far I'll be here.
Smith Shuster. Who the fuck?
So it's not just Eric it's about how all the ladies are working this season.
They're all so so busy.
Ladies and efforties.
Five days on days.
And then... It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like And Kyle's like, also I got mom hair dentures and I don't have periods anymore, so there's that.
Like, yay, you did it!
You did it!
And he's like, so Erika, how's your book, the Pintin?
Like, he's like, oh, okay.
Erika's like, oh, I mean, you've written this like,
that means it's a lot selling out.
Ha!
Best New York seller times list.
Ha! They wouldn't just keep it printing.
I guess that's still makes sense even in that way.
So Andy's like, well, I was looking over the pamphlet that my interns at me of your
shit book.
And there was a passage about your mom and it says, I picked up my mom's having the same
hateful things. And I don't want to be like that
and he's like are you saying we've never seen you lose your temper I mean even with I lean on that junk
book or with Teddy like I don't know all the time she's like I don't think so and back
so with I lean it was out of fear for what I go through it not. And with Teddy, it was, you know, she's Teddy looking at it. Look at that. She's wearing a white dress. Well, purple
sequins, this bitch is in a white dress. What do you want me to say? It's like someone
put a carrot on the couch over there. My mother just knocked it over, turned into a
soup. You know what I'm saying? Oh, that temper, there goes that temper. I feed my horses
carrots. I'm Teddy.
You know what? I just got a text message, which I think is very important,
which is that we are doing a second Atlanta show everyone a second Atlanta show. We probably already announced it, but
Atlanta loses its temper.
It's like my mama.
That's exciting. Yeah, that's exciting.
Yeah, it's my aunt's that go to watch your crap and calm.
Okay.
So, uh, Vanderpump is like, well, I'm there.
So Vanderpump is in that mode where she's like,
this season is terrible.
No one let me manipulate anything.
And now I'm taking the reins.
Get off Teddy.
Not you.
I'm taking the reins of this reunion. And not you. I'm taking the reins of the reunion.
And so she's like, well, Erica has triggers.
That's also the name of the horse.
Shut up!
Ah!
The chest triggers, we get the horse.
Yes, we do.
Just be wary of how that temper affects people.
People who love people are the luckiest people,
except for when they lose their temper.
People, people, people, people, a Kangelkata.
People, people, people. So the N.E.S. My mother and brother Carter and Broadway on Abby. This is how she sings Little Girls.
She goes, let her go, let her go.
And rock'n'-man, I can feel.
I was just reading about Mel Carter yesterday because I was looking up baby's kids because of
Atlanta on Sunday and she was a voice in baby's kids so there. So um, um, so then Andy's like,
hey, so, uh, why did Brian Moylan, when he was writing your book, he talked to everyone
in your life except for Tom. Why didn't you have him talk to Tom about your book? She's
like, well, uh, I wanted to write about Tom. You know, it was a book about me, so then
naturally I want to write about Tom, you know, uh was a book about me, so then naturally, I want to write about Tom.
You know, don't want him to talk about me.
I want to talk about him, you know?
No, that makes no sense.
Like, I understand you want to give like your impressions of Tom,
but it's a book about you.
Well, don't you want to hear like when I first met Erica, X, Y, and Z?
Or...
Hell no, no way.
What is he going to come with some delert receipts?
And Tom was probably like, I'm right in My own god damn book when it's time,
America. Go to your room. He's like my like still broken. So
yeah, Aaron is like, he wouldn't let me is basically the answer. And also,
Andy did not name Jack Brian Moilin. He said you co-wrote it with someone,
which is very rude Andy. It's Brian Moilin. Dan Broad Moilin, he is a
national treasure. It's a threat. Yeah., so Andy's like has your mom read it
She's like, who knows? I mean she helped me write it, but I didn't send it to a right away. And he's like why just glad
He didn't even think about it. Who cares? He's like, well did Tom read it just no one's read it
Did your husband read it? No
Did Mike you read it? I don't know. I don't think he can read.
What about the other guys?
I don't know, maybe.
That was just and didn't even read it.
Then just printed it, put it out there.
Three times.
It was a lot.
It was a lot of books.
So did the guy at the car?
Cardiola's ship read it?
I don't know, Andy.
Did he read it?
You know if you read it?
No, ladies.
Welcome to the kitchen.
Sorry.
Memories. I haven't read it. Talk know if he read it? Oh, ladies! Yeah! Welcome to the kitchen!
Sorry, memories.
Oh, I read it!
Talked about how Kyle made things up.
He was being such a pest.
It was so hilarious.
He was like, why don't you read it?
I mean, I've written three books,
and the first thing I would do with my books
is I give it to my parents.
Why don't you do that?
What doesn't mean they read it?
Yeah.
Yeah. And he's like, she's like. Why don't you do that? What doesn't mean they read it? Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like, she's like, I don't know.
No one's in my family's read it.
How about that?
No one's read it in my family.
He's like, I think that's weird.
It is weird.
It's fucking weird.
If she won't answer, she won't answer.
It is.
It's hard to take time to read a book sometimes.
And your own wife, your own daughter writes a book,
and you're not going to read it. I mean, you might be scared to read a book sometimes. Stand your own wife, your own daughter writes a book, and you're not going to read it.
I mean, you might be scared to read it.
They should be.
And he's like, well, but you talked about Tom.
He didn't want to know what you said.
And she goes, yeah, I talked about him.
And I made him sound great, didn't I?
Like, okay.
And Andy even goes, okay.
Like, she is not happy with Andy.
Like I'm the heel of this tempered discussion.
She's like, shut the fuck up your little fru-fra
No Carter has to like get in like all right everyone
I have to with these situations before
My second I'm giving break
You apologize Andy and at your podcast Erica and I make everything better
And I make everything better
Give me a break now, I know what it takes
Give me a break time shock
So Andy's like so Rina would you go back to days of our our lives? And she's like, hey, Lmo, it used to be no money, now it's zero money. It used to be none.
Hi, now it's zero.
Hey, Erica, how many fucks do you get in the air?
That's exactly it.
That's what they offered to pay me for today.
She sold a lot of books, Andy.
A lot.
And then what about Beverly Beach?
She's like, well, Beverly Beach.
We sold out of the LVP guys.
I don't know how we do with the coil. I don't think it sells as well.
It might be a little jealous of the LVP.
And of course there's no Teddy Camille.
I mean, that's, I'm sorry. She's new.
I can't make everyone. She's new.
Yeah. And he's like, that sounds...
Shady, and she's like, Shady. When the Shady is lately,
she's, Shady lately, Shady, and she's like, Shady, when the shady, Shady lately, she's shady lately, Shady, Shady, Shady.
Hmm, some shady.
So I don't have to make excuses for it.
It's my loin, and I'm going to name it after women who really brings something to my life.
And Teddy does neither.
Then they cut to Teddy, who's over there in her t-shirt dress, and she's like...
Ah!
Ah!
She looks like she's been running a mile.
She's just like really?
She's like panting over there.
And she's like, he goes, what do you think of that, Teddy?
And she's like, I was left on a purpose,
so that wasn't great.
And I didn't even realize we were in a place we were in
until I saw her take my calls and all of those scenes.
Like, how many scenes do you guys need
of Doreet being annoyed with my calls?
Like, she seems of Doreet being annoyed with my calls? What is he saying?
He seems like Doreet being like,
Oh, what?
Dady!
Meanwhile, Teddy is fully doing her simple hands, you know, as Dureet says monkey chimes, maybe.
It's a monkey chimes or monkey chimes?
Monkey chimes, but Dureet would be like, it's called monkey chimes!
It's also a delicious cereal!
Magically delicious, magically!
So yeah, Dureet's whole thing is, because Dureet is like,
I don't know what it's being annoying.
I thought we were friends until I saw her saw how many times she was rolling her eyes
And she's like well Teddy Teddy is one person to your face and then another behind your back
I'm like, that's you to read that's a hundred percent you that's exactly what they're saying you are right now to read
Okay, and it's funny that this came right after Atlanta because Kim is the biggest lying monster ever.
And Teddy's just doing, I mean,
Derriets just doing the exact same thing.
Whatever they say to her, she's like,
you are, you are.
Look, well, what do you think about being Kim?
She's like, you are.
You are, that's where we're going after you, laden.
You're right, though, no, every time she's saying, you are to every, well, she, were going after you laden. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha emotion. You were texting me asking me to herpia for back for brilliant. Ask a profession. It's three.
Or Teddy. And Teddy is like, I just, you know, Doreet, the way you talk to me is so dismissive. She's like, Oh, come on, Teddy.
Like, yeah, that's that right there.
She's like, ring the schools out, Teddy.
Teddy, you've been dismissed. And I say that as a friend in a non-dismissive tone. I'm speaking of dismissed.
I've been kind to you, stupid little mole.
Speaking of dismissed, she's like, I'm not on trial here.
And Vanderpump's like, where we are all on trial in a way
I was dream poetry poetry and dreams like when it's not a titty trial
American crime story the daddy trial
daddy trial inherent the boringness. You know, um, Chattra Volta is playing Teddy. He's like, hi, I'm Teddy.
Drung, can you please take a look?
No, he's probably like, hi, I'm Tadee.
Okay, stop showing up the scenery.
So Teddy's like, well, I apologize.
And Jury's like, we're, because I've only been canned.
And you pretended to be my friend.
I'm hurt by you.
I'm only even talking about the repossibly hurt by Teddy from.
I mean, like Teddy is the most innocuous person on this cast.
I know.
No kidding.
She's wearing white toilet paper right now, okay?
And she said, he's like, well, I apologize.
I had no idea how dismissive and just like the you were of me. And he's like, well, I apologize. I had no idea how dismissive
and just like the you were of me. And he's like, well, sounds like you all watched the same
show that we did. Next. Yeah. So now we get into the Teddy segment, which is, goes on for
like five minutes. Another way you can tell they're stretching it out when these little segments
last more than 10 seconds. And this one was going for like two minutes. It's like, look, there's
Teddy opening up a peanut butter and jelly jar. Oh, yeah, she has a jar for both of them. Um, look, there's Teddy opening
a door. Hey, there's Teddy like walking. Oh, Teddy telling the story.
Oh, Teddy.
But then they so Kyle, she's like, we'd love to exercise when I saw that she had lost 90
pounds. I was like, wait a minute. And then they showed the before and after picture in
America's, I mean, um, God, all these white women look the same as sort of God.
Teddy is just pushing out her stomach.
That is not 90 pounds worth of stomach.
Well, I love that picture of Teddy when she was 21.
They always show it.
She's just like, you know, Teddy.
So Teddy, when it comes out, they start asking about her in vitro. I forgot there was this whole thing where she had trouble giving birth
and then she felt like all of her sons issues were because they had chosen a boy, embryo, instead of a girl one, and they didn't like God
choose his way. I'm like this was such a small part of her entire season, and then they're they're leading with this,
not to take anything away from it, but it kind of also shows how uneven this show is.
It also shows really that there was nothing going on with Teddy except reacting to people
which I don't necessarily have a problem with, but I was like, gosh, I totally forgot
that this was even a thing for her.
So she starts talking about it.
Does Teddy want to have another baby and her daughter, right?
It was like, yeah, you want to have another baby and her kids her daughter her her daughter? Right?
It was like, yeah, I want to have another baby. Yeah, why don't you have another baby and treats like you should get a dog from then
Van the pump dogs rescues
Which was a kind of like insulting and be like okay? You don't have to start kissing ass just like you can kiss ass later to at least I know
It's a slam get a dog
or to Lisa. I know it's a slam. Get a dog. I have root who says that. And I like that it's a end of that clip back in. She's obviously not watched one minute of this whole fucking season,
which is hilarious. She's like, whoa, from from what I see of that, you seem to have guilt
about picking the boy. Nothing I've seen it. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Nothing I've seen it. Yeah, exactly.
Rin is just fast-forwarding through all of Teddy's scenes too.
We've got to sit as hilarious.
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And then they're like, well, someone is like, Sheila from Tangello, Texas.
Is like, hey, Teddy, you know,
the only thing you've done in your life is ride horses
and being accountability coach.
It sounds like those are like not real jobs.
There's like rich people activities.
Like, have you ever worked a job in your life?
And Teddy is like, yeah, actually,
I worked in the middle of CIA and like worked my way up
to the department. up to the lit department
They had a lit department and then I was at UTA working for Lisa's agent and I was waitress
So I have to say I was like well that's impressive because working in those agencies is not easy
And how are you and how is one of waitress and working at CIA at the same time? Is that even possible?
I don't know she needs to fuck more strangers in Hollywood because that sounds like too much work to be in this town
It's like you're young then and you come from famous people stop working so much. Why are you working at CIA?
It's terrible. Where did the name slate come from she's like oh like countertops
So I'm part of the beginning of a movie when they go action. I like slates
So and he's like okay, let's get to the real reason you were hired.
John, Kougar, Mel and Cam. What about him? Does he watch it? Does he like me? Does he think
I like tall? Do I look better in a black t-shirt or like a full suit? What does he think?
Tell me what he thinks. Yeah, we're just like, yeah, we're having to make your dad and
Meg Ryan. And Erica goes, that's so offensive. She goes, that's so fucking forward. I'm like Erica
Do you even know what your persona is?
Dollars with your try. I'm yeah miss. I don't give a fuck cuz I'm like I can't believe you ask about Meg Ryan
He's like you laugh. I'm like no, we won't I can't get that scared
I can't believe that's guaranteed. She's like, um, my dad was at this art show, and he thought someone was coming up to
ask for his autograph, but they really wanted to ask about me and to read.
Oh, and Andy's like, so make right watches.
Oh, my God.
Then she still use AOL to see here.
You've got mail.
That's my favorite part.
I love that movie.
Has she been able to sleep yet? that she still use a well to see here you've got mail. That's my favorite part. I love that movie.
Has she been able to sleep yet?
Philly, Crystal, big one or little one?
Tell me the truth.
Does she remember Paris or no?
So, Tady's like, well, I can tell you she watched it
with all of us at Christmas.
And he's like, oh my god, cuz of Operation.
And Erica goes, with a dad, he's in the rock and roll holiday. I mean, he doesn't have to collaborate with anyone.
Yeah.
Yeah. Understanding up for the real artist here, Erica.
Yeah, Erica really is an asshole in this.
She was really not happy with that. She was, well, she was still mad that Andy said it was
weird that she didn't give her book to her mom. She was like, oh. Well, would he collaborate with you?
Lose that.
Here's the Rockwell whole of play.
It doesn't need to collaborate with me.
It doesn't not, too.
AKA, I don't want him hearing my music.
No Carter's like sleep, listen to ya, no.
That was Anthelma.
What was Anthelma?
Anthelma was on give me a break also.
Aunt Thelma from Family Matters.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
So, um, uh, I have a question.
Sure.
Um, is Meg Ryan married to John Cougar Melon camp or something?
I guess they're together.
Yeah, I don't know if they're married.
I don't know if you ever get married again after Dennis.
I'm gonna look it up because it's weird. Yeah, you don doing it not after him, but it's weird to think that Meg Ryan
could be Teddy's stepmom. That's like a weird concept for me to grok. It really is because I feel
like Teddy was probably like, don't do a remake of the women. Why would you do that? That's a horrible
idea. Meg Ryan was like, shut up, step kid, And she did it anyway. And so now every Christmas Teddy's like, told you so.
I just, it's weird.
I feel like Meg Ryan, if anything, should be on Real House House of Beverly Hills.
Um, yes, hopefully she lives outside a, in a 65 acre out, a state outside Bloomington,
Indiana.
Well, wait, John Melon Campdes.
Wait, that's in 2013,
because I think he moved someplace else
because I saw his house on Pinterest.
She, well, I don't know.
I didn't do it on purpose, okay.
Here's what's good for Meg Ryan, okay?
Here's why I think, first of all,
we need a Meg Ryan to come back anyway.
And here's why it can happen.
Because when she messed up her face and everything
with plastic surgery, everyone was like, Meg Ryan,
why would you do that to your face?
But now that 12 or 15 years have passed
and she did that, people have gotten used
to really stupid looking plastic surgery.
And so now she doesn't look as much of an aberration.
So people can be like, oh, okay, I can accept that.
So I think actually the world is ready for Meg Ryan to come back because we have just lowered
our standards.
Well, what makes us think something is weird?
Well, yeah, we're used to rubbery ball faces.
I mean, look at that poor reiki chick on Vanderpump rules.
I'm like, what's wrong with her face?
Because I'm not used to seeing a face in this town without Botox. I'm like, where does she live? So John
Melon Camp and Meg Ryan might be finally tying to not says page six on March 6, 2018.
It's because Meg Ryan finally listened to me. Okay. So then is a renomontage. And it's basically days of our lives.
Not a lot.
And let's see, really dancing,
which is always the best part of a really season.
It's an Erika party, it's an Erika party.
Ha ha.
Yeah, it's basically like, hey, Lisa,
you were really reserved to season. She's like, hey, Lisa, you were really reserved to see this and she's like,
well, Andy, I chose to react differently.
I reacted off camera when we weren't shooting.
But she was like, I'm gonna stop yelling and start slashing tires, Amy.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
I'm kidding, not.
Well, she said something about like somewhere in here about, she, there was a I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Not.
Well, she said something about like somewhere in here about she like there was a
or either she said it or someone said it that she was nice this season instead of being a
bitch. I was like, I don't think she was ever a bitch to be honest. I think that she just,
she was like nosy and she butted in and stirred shit up, but she wasn't like a
bitch. So I feel like that's wrong to say that she was a bitch.
I think she just stirred shit.
And I missed the shit stirring that she did.
Well, his question was,
so you spent a few seasons being vocal,
and you got hammered and she's like,
hammered, hammered, anti-hammered.
And it's like, so that just basically killed
your entire show personality.
And she's like, I didn't like me behavior.
I mean, well, I slept up.
Of course, thank you. Fuck you, stupid queer. I mean, I'm just kidding, can't. See, I didn't like me behavior. I mean, well, that's the pop. Of course. Thank you.
Fuck you. It's different. Quarered. I mean, I'm just kidding.
See, I slipped up right now.
That was it. That was me.
I think I panty.
Yeah, because like Jeremy from Queen says, hey, Lisa, you were really lame this season.
She's like, fuck you, Jeremy.
I'm like, yeah, fuck you, Jeremy.
That was the slip up Andy.
And she goes, she goes, I have daughters and I want to be a good
role model. And so he goes, well, Marco from Marco Polo, Willa, NOAA, I want to know what you say
you want to be a good role model, but what happened at age just 19 and 16 to suddenly make you a good
role model to your kids? Shouldn't you have thought of that at a younger age? Yeah.
to suddenly make you a good role model to your kids. Shouldn't you have thought of that at a younger age?
Yeah.
And then there was a question about like,
so has any of your behavior blown,
blown back on Delilah and affected her job opportunities?
At least it's like, I'm not gonna go into it,
but yeah, yeah.
And to reach this goes,
oh,
it's not like she's like an empathetic soul.
They've really, really hurt Delilah Bell's career with Lisa's talking.
Like, well, that's the reason she has a career too. So what's all bond, you know, give credit where credit is to you.
So then is the blowjob techniques and the book and stuff.
And she's like, well, you know, people got mad.
I mean, you wouldn't believe it, Abby.
Hammered, but you know what? That book sold. It sold that on Amazon.
14th printing. Right, Erica. And Erica's like, oh, they love blowing you up those kids.
And she sold some books. Man, red out of a vicious circle. Don't they pop a vicious circle of
man red out? The difference is I give my book to my family members,
like my daughters.
I used to read it before bedtime when they were little girls.
At least we know someone's family reads their books.
Their kids learn how to deep live jobs.
Yeah, you know.
So there's talk about Rina and Teddy
because was Rina being shady to Teddy because when
Rinna was on watch what happens, someone asked a question and like what do you think
about Teddy and she's like, huh?
You like she's like shrugged or something?
And so Rinna's like, well, it's just that like Teddy was on there.
And they asked Teddy, what do you think about Rinna?
And Teddy was like, huh?
So I thought, you know, I'm not gonna give her anything back.
He's like, Teddy was like, but yeah, but thought, you know, I'm not gonna give her anything back.
He's like, Teddy was like, but yeah, but that was my first time a watch would happen. And they said, like, who do you talk to? And I said, I talk to you.
She's like, I don't have an issue with you. I was just being a brat.
I slept up. See, Annie, I slept up.
And then Teddy was, and then Teddy was, they mentioned like, oh, that was the same episode.
Where Megan McCain came up to you, Teddy. And they showed that Lisa Vanderfump did. She said, well, isn't that the same episode where Megan McCain came up to you Teddy and they showed the Lisa Vanderfump then she said wasn't that the same episode Megan McCain said it's like you
a little sister Lisa and they showed a clip of Megan McCain me like I don't know why keep casting
boring people handy. Teddy is boring she's boring she doesn't do anything she's lame she's
stupid I hate her and and then Teddy's like yeah yeah, I mean, she really had it out.
I wasn't, I'm not in a feud with her.
I'm just like, okay, you think I'm boring.
And she just like keeps talking shit about me.
Like, she went on like a podcast.
I'm talking shit about me.
I'm like, excuse me.
That's Danny Pellegrino's podcast.
And you were on it.
Don't say a podcast.
You know exactly which podcast it was.
You were a guest.
And it's the second time they've not named
check somebody.
Why do you act like it was some random thing you were on it
Yeah, and so then Andy asked Lisa Rina about the Instagram story she did of making fun of because she watched all of season one of Beverly Hills
Yeah, I was making really rude
Really rude in the stories which were hilarious and even though sorry. They were just funny, but they weren't that rude
They were pretty rude
But hilarious, you know, and then they kept she they kept showing pictures of it
And it was like Lisa Vanderpump's old face and stuff and and really it's like who is this?
No seriously who is this?
Like picture after picture, which I mean we've said a million times. So yeah, so then
picture after picture, which I mean, we said a million times. So yeah.
So then the question is, you know, on your on your Instagram, you said that you love
the Cedric and you think he should visit.
Lisa, when did you last hear from Cedric?
And Lisa's like, well, that was a really nasty thing for Lisa Rina to say.
So nasty.
The damage that Cedetric did to my family. He
almost caused us to have
something happen to us but it
never happened. The damage.
And Rinda is like, I don't
know what he what damage he
caused. How would I know? I don't
want to show. And she goes it
was on the show. So what did
she the whole thing? I mean,
and Karla's like, well, you did have a go at her.
And a Vanderpump goes, yes, Kyle told me all about your
insta's having a go at me.
And she's like, it was jibs.
It was jibs.
Jimstabs.
Jibs.
It was jibs.
You came in me hard, Vanderpump.
So you know, what's the big deal?
And she's like, well, I heard about it.
It was not there. She's like, Vanderpump so you know what's the big deal? And she's like well I heard about it. It was not there
She's like
Vanderpump
You should have a sense of humor. You should have a sense of humor about it. It was just funny stuff
I do have a sense of humor. I mean, I didn't even see it. I'm just saying I heard well
It was fine. You would have laughed at it, but there was mean. I was like, but you didn't read it
Ah, I'm like this is a stupidest fight of all time and finally ready goes well unless it goes, well, unless you saw, you should just shut up.
Which is good.
She's like, are you kidding me right now?
Who cares?
An Instagram story that expires in 24 hours.
Watch her to shut up.
Then they just cut to Banner from space.
And she's like, oh.
And note that of course it was Kyle
who was in the middle of all this.
Kyle is the one who got Lisa mad because I think I
Don't think at least the ones that we saw nothing was like really too mean
It was just snarky and I think Vanderpump would have either had fun with it or like responded back with her own ship
But Kyle made it as usual made it seem so bad
Yeah, so then Andy asked I read in
You know car wash magazine the van
Might be running for the governor and she's like who would you have as you're running me and Erica's like
Oh, you think reality sucks wait until you're in politics all these losers asking John Melanchamp to come on the show
Oh, sorry
The next my next song is called politics it's called Gavol Gavol,
Lawson Session, Passing the Bill,
and the Bill is fuck.
My pussy objects, my pussy objects,
fucking my pussy objects, fuck you.
Hanging child.
Hanging child.
So, um...
His name is Heng Chad, his name is Heng Chad. Oh. So, um.
His name is hung chat.
Let's see, let's see.
So Lisa says, well, I see Kyle and Doreet has my equals.
So, as you see, neither of them would be my running mate, which is her play way of saying, I ain't running for office with these two dumb-dums.
Yeah.
Um, and Erica's like, well, it should be Doree.
She'd be perfect because this could put current political climate.
Nobody knows what the fuck is going on.
She'd confuse everyone.
No, that's Doree.
If I were Lisa Vanderpump, I would, you know, my running mate would be, probably
a Catherine, what's her face?
Catherine Edwards from like three seasons to three seasons ago.
Cause that woman, she, like, doesn't have all of her hearing and she's like really
when she can't hear things. She just gets really blunt and she just sort of be like little
Joe Bideny slash like scared Mochish. She'd be like so Catherine Edwards what do you have to say
about this scandal that Lisa Vanderpump was not paying her waiters it's her. What?
What are you talking about huh huh huh she's done that really old things
She's like I think the gates and have the rights to get married
That's already happened. Oh anyone else my life was ruined by a OJ ruined
Whoa, I want to pass the lock is pay resident
She's already not on this show. Oh, okay anything else
So let's see Andy. Okay. Now we enter into
The soul sucking segment from hell and he's like to reek came along and not only put Bobby pins all over her head for no reason
But change Kyle and Lisa
Vanderpump's relationship forever.
Yeah.
And at this point, I went on Amazon and started perusing the Nudler section.
There was a big board game sale on Amazon this week.
You should bruise that.
So, um, so Lisa, they showed this whole sequence, this whole set, they're like a recap of all the squabbling,
which wins all condensed together, is just even petier and more immature than you can even imagine,
which is what I love, I do love that part.
And so Andy basically is like,
so the consensus is that basically to read and collaborate,
fighting over your friendship, Lisa, how's you feel?
Will you were eating it all up?
Because now my feelings have been really hurt in this situation.
When they're competing to have said the least offensive thing to me when they both said
offensive things are hurt, Sandy.
It hurts.
It hurts like hearing that Nick Allen will will be returning my cause by sh-t-roo.
It hurts almost as much as it hurt knowing I wouldn't have a pendulum to swing from this reunion.
And then she does a single, she keeps trying to yell at who being in the middle about who hurt me the worst
Isn't a great place to be
Erica and then it's just this long pause and Erica's looking at her with her cold face and she's like
Okay, but I'll give you a book I
Get it
I get it. Consolation class.
So, first we started talking about the Pally House dinner,
which the whole impetus for that dinner
was that Lisa had a core case thrown out.
So she was very happy.
And the reason why she got so mad was that she had waited
30 minutes for these bitches to show up.
And then when they do, before she can even celebrate,
Kyle starts complaining about the PK's party and the wine glass fight and all that, whatever.
So Kyle has this cockamami explanation, which I barely followed. He correct me if I'm
wrong. She's just like, well, you know, on this show, when stuff happens in the press,
you know, we talk about it privately. we don't talk about it on camera,
we like get together one on one.
So when Lisa gathered us together,
you know, we toasted and then I thought,
there, it's over, we celebrated,
because we'll talk about it one on one later.
I was like, mm, I don't think that's how it works.
Yeah, I didn't understand any of this,
but then Andy goes,
Erica, where are you laughing?
Oh, no, Vanderpump.
Yes, Andy, why are you laughing?
And he goes, because Erica gave me a look.
And so I'm laughing and she's,
well, I have smiling, I am.
Because you do have a decade of history.
And it's just how Latin.
Vanderbilt, because this shut up
and let me keep on that Erica.
I was, I was waiting half an hour at Polly House.
Oh, no.
And then you started.
And then it's this glass scenario
And it's like Jesus
Yeah, yeah
So Lisa now was insulted
I was very insulting, very insulting
That you would say, that Kyle, that you would say
That Doreen and I ganged up on you
But the glasses and Kyle's like no, I don't mean that you guys ganged up on me. I was saying that at that night, you guys were obviously
sticking together, so I wanted it like to have that teddy's back. She's like sticking
together, that means ganging up. I'm like, okay, it doesn't actually, and that actually
was a really good insight into the way Lisa thinks, you know, at the moment that two people
are just decides like
ally for a second, they're ganging up because it's not the same thing.
Yeah, I was like, uh, and then, uh, then they start squabbling amongst themselves, you
know, Vanderpump and Kyle, and it's so childish and Kyle starts talking like a child and
Vanderpump starts screaming like a grandma, you know, and then Kyle's like, let me finish.
She says, no.
And it's like cut the commercial.
But it was also breaking in the fourth wall because Kyle basically said, well,
you guys, like the way you guys were sticking together, the way you said, you,
you said you were going to stick together with the re it sounded like you had made a
plan to stick together with her, which I think was her way of saying it sounded like
you had made, like a decision before the show started that you guys were going to stick together
And you guys were gonna be in an alliance. So I decided since I was not in the alliance
I was you know whatever so it was just ganging up
Well, it's not necessarily getting up, but it could turn into gaining up
It could lead to gaining up but being allies with someone does not automatically mean getting up
But if you're insecure then yes, it does mean that
My head.
So Kyle's like, you call me out for every teeny,
weenie little thing.
And I hadn't even heard Doreet's name
until she came on this show.
Not once in all these years.
I've never heard her name,
and then suddenly she's your best friend.
She's like, well look, obviously we know that Doreet
was a little economical with the truth in the park.
And Teddy's like, finally a conversation
I can understand economics.
You know, it rains today. It's sunny tomorrow. Say for the day. And then there's a hurricane.
Everybody get it. So yeah, it's an alkyl is, you know, giving further examples of how she
feels like she's at a different standard than to read and to read as new and because she's
new Lisa likes her more. And she's like, yeah, like after that Pally House meal like you know, you know like when you stormed off
I was like don't call Lisa. She's not gonna answer the phone because that's what she does
She doesn't answer the phone right away and then Dorita called you and you answered the phone
I was like oh my god and it must be because of this relationship with PK and if Lisa's upset with you
She won't pick up the phone and pen and, well, sometimes I take a day or two.
And Kyle goes, or I'm up.
But also Kyle, this is exactly what you've done
to everybody else's and you get mad
then you don't answer your phone.
And then they show later a clip of her doing that
to Erica, but it's like, okay,
we, and also you harping on the phone call is the exact,
like when you say, Lisa, you heart,
like you, you call me out on every single little stupid thing. I'm like, what do you think you're doing when you're talking on the phone call is the exact like when you say Lisa you heart like you you call me out on every single little stupid thing
I'm like, what do you think you're doing when you're talking about this phone call like she didn't answer the call for you
But she did for a Doreet that's called harping on every little stupid little thing
so
Yeah, so Doreet's like I cherish Lisa and I would never ever ever want to hurt her
Especially because you told me secretly she's afraid of being abandoned by her ever ever want to hurt her especially because she told me
secretly she's afraid of being abandoned by her friends and having them hurt
her because of something that happened with Nanny K back in 1932.
Well I wasn't upset about that but then once I saw it and then we've had tears
and she's been remorseful and he'd read she's cried
She's grown herself in my driveway and then at some point you have to move on will be accused of holding a grudge
Which I hold a grudge about to this day. I was about to say I love that like in
In her shaming Kyle for for accusing Lisa of holding a grudge that in and of itself is a grudge. Yes, and guys like, oh God, I'm still being punished for that. And then Vanderpump goes,
you know I'm a very good friend to you, Kyle. I talked to you Adam for nine time about you.
And Erica goes, Adam, what the fuck is that?
Not a word. And everyone starts, everyone starts sh saving her like that's not a word and it actually is a word. It is
You dumb asses. I don't know how it's pronounced though. I think I assumed it was ad infinitum and finite them
I don't know I mean, I was a Latin. I was a Latin student, but I don't know how you say I'm gonna say infinite
I'm out of it. I don't know that either actually. I knew it was a word, but I didn't know how to say that I looked it up
His ad infinitum I didn't know that either actually I knew it was a word but I didn't know how to say that I looked it up His as infant item
Mm-hmm listen when a British person bus out Latin believe them. Yes, believe British people. They're generally smarter
I mean not about dental care but everything else about Latin. They are yes, and then
Erick is like what the fuck is that so they start all shaming her
They're like that's not a word and she's okay fine
Ad nausea and then Eric is like, yeah, ad nauseam. Kind of like now.
I don't give a no.
So, um, so Dorit's, so Dorit. Okay. This is the most confusing note that I've ever written.
I've ever wrote. Dorit says Kyle says LVP controls to read.
wrote. Dereet says Kyle says LVP controls Dereet.
That's not a bad time.
At the beginning of the season, Carl told me Lisa van der Prom thinks that she controls me. And van der Prom like oh god even your husband can't control you turning
You're like a big deal going down your driveway
Just rolling out of control because it's a 48 degree drop
And they stab through the heart and kind of like I don't remember ever saying something like that
Which means she totally said it
Of course otherwise she would have said you're a fucking liar Camilla. Yeah, exactly. She would have
Exactly and that's totally Kyle and Lisa by the way
I think they're both telling the truth. I think that Kyle did tell her that she's like watch out
This is these are the warning signs of anterpromp. She's controlling you and blah blah blah
And I do believe that Lisa and to read we were like, we're together no matter what.
This is what works on this show.
We're going to stick together no matter what.
Yeah, and that's the thing is that there's a whole meta game at play here, which is that
before the season begins, they all decide their alliances and Kyle has worked really hard
to be like, okay, it's going to be number one, number two.
I'm going to be your sidekick.
It's going to be the Lisa and Kyle show.
And she got it for like one season,
one and a half seasons finally.
And then income to eat and then to eat gets the prime spot.
And then Kyle is like, I'm not sure,
do I still have a slot with Lisa?
Like what's going on?
It's like on Survivor when all of a sudden the alliance is shipped.
So she's like insecure about that,
but you can't talk about that stuff on these shows
because you're not allowed to.
So it just gets turned into this weird discussion about control in general, this sort of vague
discussion about control.
Yeah.
So then Andy's like, okay, okay, we'll talk about this for five more hours.
In the meantime, remember when Doree was in Berlin and got upset about you ruining her
Bella magazine party after her whatever, after Berlin, she got upset about you ruining her Bella magazine party after whatever after Berlin.
She got mad that you ruined her Bella magazine party.
And he goes, with all due respect to Bella, it's not Vogue.
Like, damn.
And then Dorito took it in stride.
She goes, well, Andy, yes, it's not Vogue.
And I'll never be a, I'll never be a Mylon Vogue.
But it's still a cover.
He he he. She does like this weird little laugh.
And to read psychology, uncomfortable debate charts, because they have a conversation that
happened a lot before and I didn't come to her.
It's not like I went up to air, and said,
Iroku, Carl said so and so.
I didn't do that!
So then they cut to a footage of her doing exactly that.
Exactly.
In like different wording, but she's like, everyone was talking about you.
Everyone was talking about you.
And I was like, who? Kyle!
Oh, so good.
So Kyle said, if I'm going to bring it to, so you just say,
not better, remember, everyone, have a said.
And Kyle's like, well, if you're going to bring it up on camera you just say not better remember everyone ever said and Carl's like well
If you're gonna bring it up on camera you better and Rina goes yeah
You need proceeds right Auntie
Receipts receipts
That's why I was saying Delilah
Receipts you can write this all off but um yeah Kyle basically says listen to read the thing is what's annoying is that that
Beach House moment is that you pulled Erica aside and made it sound like I was talking all this shit about her when like the truth was
I wasn't talking a lot of shit and you can see because they showed they showed the most damning
thing I said because they would have if I said something worse they would have shown it but there
was nothing worse and you're exaggerating you're exaggerating and just goes nice try coil nice try nice try coil yeah guys my Troy nice
Troy coil guys look at a Troy coil it was on camera and because we get it We can and are ready. And they're gonna go mama. Drain is worth.
Mama.
So then the hour sort of comes to conclusion with the resurrection yet again of Pantigate.
Oh geez, which is basically what we just did
all over again.
Yeah, so basically, you know, it's like,
so when you brought a Pantigate,
I don't even know why they started talking about Pantigate. Like like I mean, I know why I don't know how that transitioned into it
but Dorita is like
Kyle I I always said that you had nothing to do with pantygate
I always said that Kyle and they're like no you were heavily implying that when you left the room in
pantygate's origins that
that when you left the room in Pantigate's origins
that Erica was in a good mood and when you came back
Erica was pissed at you and you imply it was because of Kyle and she's like
no, no
I was just merely using as an example of what
of me walking out of a room like
remember the time I walked out of a room
and everyone was happy and then Kyle started talking and then everyone was mad
that's a perfect example of me walking out of a room, me physically walking into a room,
that's all.
Oh, I was trying to say, ever since I've been a little girl, I've dreamt of bikinis, and
here I am with my dream coming true, and then I walk out of a room and Kyle dashes it.
Hey, you just said I dashed your dreams.
Now I didn't cow, that's completely made up of the way.
I was just giving an example of what it's like to have your dreams dashed.
I wasn't saying that you dashed my dreams.
I'm saying that you were practicing Morse code and you wrote a dash.
And then you wrote dreams in dashes.
And then my dreams were dashed.
And I don't know why you call it Morse code when you just tap on things.
Morse is a cat!
He's a good cat.
Then Luan pops up again.
Oh, that's me.
Morris the cat.
Morris the cat.
I'm here for my food.
So then Eric was like, did I miss something off camera?
Is that what you're insinuating?
Because I've never had a problem with this woman Kyle
And if there's something else that happens just say that
Doreet's like no
I've been throwing a comparison to having your bikini dreams dust in a heap of fire a heap of Kyle fire
More of the cats. It's like what?
What are you talking about? Yeah, so inell Carter was like, I'm not following anymore.
She just drops the mic and the fish tank can leave.
She's like, you are all misbehaving.
So then, it's a Nell Kyle.
Because Kyle's big thing is that no one
stood up for her about the pantygate thing,
that Deread made this heavy implication.
And no one said Deread, that's ridiculous. Kyle had nothing to do with it everyone was silent so then everyone
starts doing this thing of like especially Erica like well I didn't say anything because
I was confused I don't know what's going on I had to process I was writing my own book
in my head I was a lot to take in because because obviously if she had said that you
would have done it I would have been like no no kind of do the but I was confused I was
confused and then Kyle's like but I just needed you to explain to me to me to me to If she had said that you would do that, I would have been like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Panigate had legs, no pun intended. And Erica could have been like,
no, no, no, to read, stop that.
Yeah, but Erica, I mean, I don't know.
Erica's probably just as sick as I am, evolve this shit.
But I like when Kyle's like,
me, me, me, me, and Erica goes,
look, Kyle, we've never had an issue, okay?
And if we do, I'll bring it up at the moment
like I did at the big house.
So why don't you self have a problem with me?
We've never had one, baby.
We've never had one, baby.
Well then why didn't you ever give me a book?
Well, I don't give it up on a book, baby.
So then the question is like, to read,
could you see how Kyle could have been upset?
Do you understand now why she was upset?
Does this make sense to you?
And she's like, I mean, Kyle, I've said it numerous times now
that it's not what I intended.
I'm like, no, Doreed, that's not the question.
They all said it.
Doreed, it's not the question.
It's not like, did you intend to do this?
Do you understand why Kyle felt this way?
And she's like,
have I talked about my Moroccan beans yet? And then in the background,
you just hear Teddy go,
there's a pattern here.
And no one listens to her.
And Kyle's like, yeah, but to read,
that's why I apologize to you.
And Andy's like, looks like he's falling asleep.
He's like, to read, why didn't you just accept the apology?
And she goes, because then I think friend said, was fraction of a certain
thing. The real victim. The real victim is to reach as always. Oh my God. And then
they're trying to explain to her. Eric is like, she's just saying that you don't understand
what she's upset. And Rinnik goes you guys you just you just need to go things let
go
go move
bring so it
Dary I am your father
which is nothing that Yoda ever said but let's why not why not.
Oh yeah!
So um...
So that brings us the end of part one.
We've got our Philly tickets on sale and now we've got an Atlanta situation.
Those tickets go on sale on Thursday.
There's a pre-sale going on now though.
So go enjoy that.
And then you guys, oh my God, tomorrow
is Bill Househouse in New York City.
Yay.
Oh, there.
Very good.
Hey everybody, thanks so much for being here.
We'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, prime members. You can listen to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. slash survey.