Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Chocolate Hearted Snakes
Episode Date: February 20, 2019The Real Housewives have a chocolate heart party and we try to figure out what DNA repair is as we get to know Denise. To hear this week's bonus episode previewing the new show Mexican Dynast...ies and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Dallas next week on Feb 8 and 9, then we're hitting up the Just For Laughs Comedy fest in Vancouver. Then Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
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Watch what I'm crappin'
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Hello and welcome to Watch Well Crappens! The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yo Bros!
I'm Ronny Cara, I'm also from the Roseprix Bachelor roast podcast.
And here I am with our gorgeous, talented, not ever broken little bird.
His name is Ben Mantelka.
He's created a show on El YouTube, oh,
called the Real Housewives of Kitchen Island,
Hello Ben.
Oh, hi, how are you?
Good, how are you doing, baby?
Uh, I'm great.
It's Wednesday, it's Humpty.
Made it mostly through the week.
And then, uh, Maniana, we are taking a plane up to Vancouver, British Columbia.
I've not been to Vancouver since first grade
and I'm very excited to go back.
I've never been there and I'm fine.
I'm super, super excited.
You know, I got a memory on Facebook.
I was like, this is what you're doing nine years ago.
Like, I guess my memories are in Jen Aiden voice,
but it was like, this is what you're doing nine years ago,
and it was like a picture of me
when I was at a club med with my family
in nine years ago, and I just remember
being trapped at that club med,
it was like a family med, it was like all families,
and then me, and it was like 30 degrees out,
even though it's Florida, and I was like,
what hell am I in?
And I was during the Winter Olympics
that were taking place in Vancouver, and I remember because I spent a lot of time
in Climat just watching the Olympics trying to make the time pass. And who would have thought,
nine years later, that we'd be heading up to Vancouver itself to reenact the Olympics
in the form of us doing our show and making fun of the real housewives of Vancouver.
Yes. And I will be wearing a speed hat just to traumatize Ben for a story in nine more years.
I'm going to actually reenact Kitty Lang,
performing at the opening ceremony of those on the back.
So I remember that too.
So everybody get your butts over to Vancouver.
We're so excited to go and perform there
and do this real housewives of Vancouver.
Season one, episode one.
Yeah, so and then we- Watch on Slice. Or episode one. Yeah, so and then watch us live.
Yeah, watch it on slice and then right after that we are going to be
in Austin for South by Southwest, which we're all
DC super excited about.
We're going to DC first.
DC first DC first and then South by Southwest.
Okay, and then from there, we're going to Cincinnati,
and we added the show in Cincinnati earlier in the day
of the other show, so come to that if you want.
That's gonna be great.
And then after that, we're gonna go to lots of other places,
okay?
Well, we're gonna go Portman, Phoenix.
Other places, Milwaukee, Minnesota,
and then we're also gonna good goat Irvine, California.
Did you say Portland and Phoenix already were going so many places, could be like going
on a college tour with Avery, it's like Avery.
You want to look at colleges in Portland and Phoenix, Irvine in Milwaukee in Minnesota,
and she's like no mom, why should I go to college when I already look like a young,
sophisticated lady?
And I was like that's funny because I look like a young sophisticated lady. And I was like, that's funny because I look like a young sophisticated lady. And that's when I realized that I basically
look like my daughter's sister, okay?
Okay.
So go get tickets for life just watch whatcraftus.com
to scroll down.
Also on that website,
you can find links to our Lou Am show
to count as Lou Am and be world-hauled pop art.
They're also available as leggings.
So go get those. And that is it for
Shillin' Get Today. I mean, who needs a soup cam? And you can have me, a loo cam. Get it?
You can have it on your real cam, my face. Um, because we have leggings. So go get those.
So today is the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Or as I like to call it the very beginning of when everyone
started to mistreat me horribly. Oh, Beverly Hills. I'm fully involved in this season again.
I'm like, even though not much happened this episode, I was like really enjoying it.
I felt overall a little lag. I thought it's like dessert party at
Rene's was a bunch of ladies who really didn't want to be around each other. They were just
like, Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing with your wig? Well, I'm, I'm too errands.
Oh, I'm gonna fuck. I don't know. I'm not really sure. But my love for Denise Richards was born this week.
Came out kicking and screaming. She is like Kim Richards. You know, it's funny because I was going to say,
I'm not sold on Denise Richards at all. But I think her love story is like going to be an endless font of entertainment for us because
Things are not adding up in my brain and I was like well, we'll get to it
But I was like oh what?
Uh-huh wait, huh? And by the way I
Could have sworn Ronnie at some point over the past nine months when we talked about
Regiguring the the franchise and in fact
Maybe when we even heard
that Denise Richards was gonna be on the show,
I feel like we had a moment where we said,
you know who should have been on the show?
Nicolette Sheridan.
We said that, did we not?
Yes, and I don't remember if it's because of her.
I don't remember.
No, not because of her,
because I didn't even,
I had forgotten that that guy was Marinette
Nicolette Sheridan. But I think we were talking about how like, you know Denise her, because I didn't even, I had forgotten that that guy was Marinette and Nicolette Sheridan.
But I think we were talking about how like, you know, Denise Richards, that's fine.
But we want someone who's like a little older, a little crazier, but surpasses this, like
someone who's like famously difficult and is like a pastor prime.
And then we just, I think I am feel so certain, because I think we said Sean Young at one point
and then we landed on Nicolette Sheridan.
I really feel like that's true. And Nicolette Sheridan was actually in desperate house wise which real housewives was based on
So it would be a really cool full full circle in pop culture history
Yeah, and so even though we got Denise Richards instead
I'm actually hopeful that maybe next season we're gonna maybe we'll get some Nicolette Sheridan
Well, I didn't Well I didn't expect any
Richards to just be so like trailer and I just I think it's hilarious.
She's like yeah say it. She cursed us like a sailor. She's actually smoked about 20 cigarettes a day.
Kind of slow words again. She only taxed out a half for mouth.
Yeah, she sure has a casual Midwest accent too. I was like, wait, am I getting some Midwest accent from Dean's Richards?
And I looked it up. She's from Illinois. I was like, aha. Yeah, I was like that. I like that. I could just use Captain Lee and Kim Richards kind of in one impersonation, you know,
Yeah, just add to my terrible impersonation, you know, Canon. Yeah, it's nice to have a Richards back on the show.
I guess we already have Kyle, but you know, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, two or a horrible one. Yeah. So we got opening lines today, which we
did last week. Have we already done the opening lines? I don't think we did. I
don't think so. Well, let's do it. Do them anyway, because why not?
It's tradition. I love it. Neither one of us can remember. We can't
remember anything. I can only remember things about Nicholas Sharjant, apparently.
So Rin has the first one.
In the game of life, it's Rinna take-off, baby.
I like that one.
That's a good pun.
I like it.
That sounds like Quinn.
It's like, I saw that pun and I was like, hi.
How are you?
How are you, pun?
Um, then is Eric up?
Most people will talk about their fantasies.
I'm living mine.
And she's like rubbing her tit in her opening.
I'm like, okay, Eric up.
It's a little generic.
It's fine, but it's a little generic, like anyone could have said it.
I don't know.
I feel like we, I feel like she should have done something like, but it's a little like anyone can have said it. I don't know. I feel like we I feel like
She should have done something like
Like it should have been something like where you thought she was gonna say I don't give a fuck, but she says she says
Like like like like like both people spend a fortune in life, but for me. I don't give a buck
Something like that, you know, I have a lot of money to give but zero fun. Yeah, there you're welcome, Erica. Okay. That was a freebie from a gay. I know you're not used to those. Okay. Yeah. So I'm good. I'm one gay guy who will give you something for free. Okay. There you go. Yeah.
Why don't we have to eat? She's like in business and in life, I went many heads and hair styles and implants and babies
And hair under hats
I know you know this was you know I get she has different hair styles
But this would been a great time to do something like like you know some people see the glass is half empty I see it as
half full or whatever like something about like the glass I see the glass as
being half half full but only if it's the right glass I don't know some that's
opposition glass term I'm saying like she should've done something but like glasses
you know yeah love is like a glass of champagne.
Even if it's in a tumbler to pour a person's home.
I would have liked it all.
So if her line was just Lisa, Lisa,
coil, PK.
She just asking people where people are like,
she's just lost looking around.
Boys, boys, boys. Also, I don't like her being like in business in life
I wear many hats. Yeah, you don't pay for any of them. Okay, they're about to all get repossessed
In business and in life
A!
Bob-O-L-E! Bob-O-L-E!
I'm going to you.
I'm going to you.
I'm going to you.
Never, never gets old.
And the Vanderpump is next.
Do you want to do Vanderpump?
Go for it.
You can stab me in the back, but whilst you're there,
kiss my ass. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, it's good. It's good. I like it. Then Teddy. I'm not afraid of hard work, but I'll never do your dirty work.
I'm Teddy. I'm not just hard work, because I'm okay with that.
I'm Teddy. Hi, I'm Teddy.
I'll never do your dirty work, but I'll insist that you text me every day to make sure that you're doing it.
Denise, my problem with the tabloids, my real life is so much juicier.
I fucked a guy in the back with DNA frequency lab.
Yeah, Denise.
She's like, I loved the lot of sex juices in the workout room, so.
There's that one.
And then finally, Kyle's. and they work out room self. There's that one.
And then finally Kyle's. Oh God, Beverly Hills.
That's so Kyle.
And then I went back while I was watching this
and watched every opening line
and I'll tell you why in a second.
But Kyle was always like,
in Beverly Hills, in this town,
I grew up in this town.
Beverly Hills is my playground.
It's like so Kyle, you know. And I'm sorry, but I'm already in this town. Beverly Hills is my playground.
It's like so Kyle, you know?
And I'm sorry, but I'm already in full on rage for Kyle
at the beginning of the season.
I think this is the first episode.
And she's like, in Beverly Hills,
the truth always has a way of rising to the top.
And then it shows her swinging back and forth
on her fucking pink swing, which I had to go back
because I knew that Lisa Vanderbump hadn't opened
and where she's swinging back and forth on her pink swing. Yeah I had to go back because I knew that Lisa Vanderpump hadn't opened, and where she's swinging back
and forth on her pink swing. Yeah. And she did. And Lisa
Vanderpump's swing is, of course, like gorgeous, you know, I mean,
tacky as fuck, but yeah, house is like a low-righten version. So
have fun with that Kyle. Okay, I've got the video proof. I will
say this. I actually think it's a great line. Really? It's really really hills the truth has a way of rising to the top. I mean well, it's it's a little clunky because it's not like
I mean you always say the cream rises to the top right yeah, so I mean Kyle is sort of like cream
So you know, but I think that truth I think it's because she basis like I'm gonna win this season
You know or I'm finally kicking Lisa out so I I
I'm gonna win this season, you know, or I'm finally kicking Lisa out. So I, I,
regardless of what side you are with Kyle, I respect the word play on that one. Although she's have a really good one. What was her really good one? About luxury or something. She had a few
really stupid ones, she had a few seasons where she was like, in this town, family is everything,
and I have everything. Or something like stupid like that like that you know like me and Kay Kyle relax.
Okay Kyle calm down.
You've got a family got it.
Now she's basically like a cup of coffee.
The cream always has a way of rising to the top.
Then um, Villa Rosa.
Yeah, this is a great opening.
Great opening because um, we start with Kyle visiting Lisa at the La Rosa and and so Kyle is like
she's like shaming Lisa for not having guard dogs or something like that like because they're
about to go off going to adventure and we get what we love the most which is one of the swans
attacking Kyle. I can watch Kyle and we always joke about Hanky going for Kyle's cancels.
And I just love that Hanky went for Kyle's cancels.
I was dying.
Cause Vanderpasta, let your serving my down to you.
Did you get past security?
Hanky and Panky, the lost prevention specialist.
Oh my god.
But it was like, well, it was so great was that it was such a full on,
like I am a swan and I am reaching a crawl.
I'm like, I'm attacking your cancle.
You know, I'm going for your cancle
and I'm gonna quack while I do it.
Well, what's so good is that Kyle comes in,
they see you're coming, obviously.
And then they just wait at the door
for Kyle to come out again.
That's what cracks me up.
It's like they hate Kyle,
Hanky hate, Skarl's guts.
And I think they're like dogs, you know,
they can just smell terrorists.
Yeah. Yeah, they get,
I like the trick that they pull on her,
which is like, oh, we're cool now.
Yeah, come on in, enter.
Yeah, you're cool with you.
We're cool. No problem, no problem.
Yeah, and, you know, I'm sure you'll have a lovely exit from Villarosa too.
Yeah, nothing bad will ever happen. And then they just fall on attack the cancels.
The car was like, how you fucker!
And reds away, do not call my swan a fucker after all can and I have done for you.
But we're not at that point in the season yet. There's still like, well wacky friends, look at me. Le Verne and the other one.
Le Verne and Blurry Mass.
Yes, that one is gone.
So, Le Verne and the Cataraxia,
a case of example, to make it feel less cloudy.
Le Verne and unremarkable space.
So, what I'm also loving is that the editors know that this shit's going down, so they're
just like, applying us full with shit that is not going to last.
Like, they're just giving us also some bullshit lines, because Kyle goes, I love Lisa.
I think right now
she's going through a hard time, but Lisa and I can laugh anywhere we go anytime forever. Never gonna
change because in this town, I can laugh with Lisa wherever. I love Clueless Kyle. I think right now
she's going through a hard time. Yeah, Kyle, do you think?
Oh, I finally remember. In this town, I can laugh with Lisa.
Especially in this town, because it's my town.
I think the tagline she had that I liked was,
I'm an expert in luxury and I can always spot a fake.
I liked that one.
Yeah.
Well, unfortunately for you, so could the people who are up to your house.
I'm by the way, I just want to say you're welcome audience. I know you're all wondering,
what was that tagline been really liked from Car Richards? And I know you guys were just sitting there like,
oh, I hope you can figure it out.
So. You're welcome. Oh, I hope you can figure it out. So you're
the need to sort of like Kyle's, yeah, we can laugh anywhere, right? Kyle.
So Kyle and Vander Prump go to the the doctor to get their yearly, you know,
Vagery, Juvenation or facial rejuvenation or Turkey, neck,
Rejuvenation, whatever they're going to do.
Yeah, the message, changing the batteries in their face cars.
And this place is their face car.
This place is like one valve away from being Epinene
in Leimitz-Rob.
And I thought this is so typical
because Epinene totally died getting screwed over.
Okay, that's fine.
Was Epinene,
which is Epinene and Fantene, is Fantene likeen is fanteen like the daughter up of that team is the mother
So fanteen is the the
Pony character who dies in the beginning and that is a poor set is the little poor girl
Who has to live with the people who run that hotel she sings
Lana Cloud, then the castle Lana Cloud, she's the heroine and because that's like her rival because that loses the end.
Guys, I just had like a vision of Lisa Vanderpump sitting lay mids for the first time and I
can just imagine her doing that Lisa Vanderpump cry where her lips tremble and then she uses
her pinky to like wipe away a tear that's not there by her nose.
Yes, she shows a paper towel in her eye. It was absolutely beautiful.
A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now.
After all, can and I have done for you.
Master of the house.
That's what Gen thinks he is. Hey, be quiet out there,
audience member. She clearly saw the Australian production, by the way. So nice of them to
stage this at the Sydney Opera House. Quiet, quiet, I said quiet. You'll see crowd tells us,
we're in a town where no one ages. So you have to come to get rubberized every week.
I'm like, I don't know who told you that no one in that town, you know, ages, but have
we started covering our mirrors in Los Angeles now?
We're in a town where no one tries to age.
They try to fake it and then they just look older.
In this town, no one ages and I know because this is my town.
Yeah, one of my eyes is totally not closing at the same time as the other one for no reason.
I would love for Kim Richards to star in a production of like the like a local production of my town
and just our town and watch Kyle just lose her shit. I mean, it's my town really,
and I don't know why she would do this to me.
It seems like I'm starting a TV show.
It's about an alcoholic doing a play called My Town.
Kyle.
So I'm stealing other people's lives for TV.
That's a production of our town.
You stole my goddamn town. Oh, okay.
So after my Oklahoma.
We're just cracking ourselves out.
That's actually Taylor.
Taylor's like, oh, I'm going to do that too.
In this town, okay, LAHOM. H.O. and May, Oklahoma.
Am I right, everyone?
Am I right?
Taylor, actually, because I was watching all the opening
to get my nonsense evidence that Kyle was just trying
to be least fan of him.
Which like literally, what am I even gonna use that evidence?
It's so stupid.
Was it worth it?
It was.
Yeah, it was.
But then I saw Taylor Armstrong and she's like, I worked hard for this zip code.
And I was like, God, she did.
Looking at all those tag lines in the future is so creepy, you know, sound like the things
that they were talking about.
And finding out how hard Taylor really did, like after we found out she was a con woman
and all that other stuff.
Yeah.
She, she, she really, you know, I want her back.
I'm sorry.
I want her back on the show.
I need to know what happened to Snowball 2.
Snowball 1.
Snowball 1, sorry.
Yeah, I want to know what happened to Snowball.
I want to see what's going on with Madison.
I want to just see if like a suitcase will trigger her, you know?
Maybe one day she should be back.
So they go to see this plastic surgery, whose face is terrifying?
Yeah, Dr. Eugene.
Yeah, there's a lot going on there.
I just wrote terrifying face Jesus.
And then Vanderpump is there for a turkey neck rejuvenation.
Yeah.
And he's going to fill her neck with filler.
Fillers, which I guess is like the same as implanting alien eggs around your
larynx. I don't know.
I don't really see how that was helpful, but I guess it does help some way.
Is implanting frog embryos into your neck?
And then I'm just planning it rest for a while apparently.
And Lisa requests some laughing gas for the occasion.
I don't know if she even needs it for some shots, but she's like, rest for a while apparently. And Lisa requests some laughing gas for the occasion.
I don't know if she even needs it for some shots, but she's like,
God, I have a laughing gas.
Oh, good.
Oh, I feel like it is air.
Look at Carl.
Look how silly she is.
It's like the state for my professional man with a bad wig.
Am I right, everyone?
He's so...
He's so...
He's so...
He's so...
He's so...
He's one of Carl's eyes, Bralkin' Talked. Look how small one of Carlos eyes, Braykin, Doctor.
Look how small one of her eyes is.
Oh, don't be self-conscious about it, Kyle.
So they're like, uh-huh, we're wacky. We're friends. We are wacky friends.
And I was just like, mm-hmm. I was sitting up and I'm like, mm-hmm.
It's like on the TV. I could hear your arms crossing right now. As you said that, I could hear your arms crossing right now as you said that.
I could hear this.
I could hear you leaning back and crossing arms.
This show, like I've been triggered for months about this show.
And now that it's back on, I'm just furious through the whole thing.
I love it.
And once again, sort of what you were saying, Lisa goes,
Kyle and I love to have a love together.
Like, yeah, just lay it on, think editors, lay it on, we love it.
Bring it on.
With everything I'm dealing with, this respite is important to me.
I'm like, Lisa Vanderpump is the only person who can make people Google on Bravo, you know?
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, I just love a good laugh with Kyle Richards.
Sometimes, I'll just smuggle in the hanky just a terrorizer at the facial place
So she tells Kyle she goes what are you gonna do Kyle get an eye patch?
The doctor is like well, we could put some Scotch tape on it
Kyle looks like one of those emoji
But guy looks like one of those emoticons, you know, where it's like a lowercase zero, lowercase zero with like an underscore and then a big O, it's like, that's what it means,
but it's actually got his face.
That was really hard for me to get out.
Thank you everyone for your patience.
That was a, I was like, wow, I'm quite a journey when I was a journey and it was like
not going anywhere.
I was like, but I have to, I have to, because I have to paint the picture
that's in my head for everyone.
So now we go over to a restaurant in West Hollywood called Nora.
Nora, what the beauty for restaurant?
Yes, so Erica's there.
She's at a table and then Rena comes in and Rena does,
like, you know, she does her special type of hello,
which is like, she's about to start her ho-down,
where she puts her both her,
she slaps both her hands onto her, onto her thighs, like,
hello!
But she never actually does the ho-down.
She's like about to, like,
you know, like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,
you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know Hello It's a hello down
Josie dough am I right?
Oh no, Josie don't it
Look at you you and your your story dress
I'm wearing gold pants you ordered an Arnold Palmer
My okay, you two need to calm down you're having lunch and you saw each other yesterday, okay? I don't know so Doreet walks in so they're all happy and they're ordering like I have a wine please and then
Lisa orders a wine to anark is like I think I'm gonna have
Obia in a bottle and to reach you cuz love that
Doreet just kept dropping her mouth going
Oh! Oh!
Everything was being said
I don't think that she's been that excited
since the time she walked into a carjula ship
She made it!
Yeah!
Oh!
I think I'm gonna have a bottle of beer.
Yeah!
She did.
She did.
She dropped her jar all the way to the floor.
She goes,
Oh, I drank young beer as a young girl.
I drank beer in a bottle.
As a girl.
P.K., you will not believe what Erica did today.
Oh, did she take off her panties again? No, better.
She had a beer in a bottle. Love that. Love that. That's what I said too.
Did she shoot it out of her vagina?
PIGGIE!
So you're talking about yet.
You did? Because in high school we had kegs of beer.
So, oh yes!
High school was all about the kiggas wasn't it?
And the head stands on the kegas!
When I was in high school, I was just like...
I was like, I did keg head stands.
I'm like bitch, you've never been to a riddler because no one calls it a keg head stands keg head stands I'm like bitch you've never been to a rich or cuz no one calls it a keg head stand
Kegs and she said she did a keg stand, but then she goes oh
I'm gasp herself in her testimony. Oh, not that me
I would do I would I would drink food beer is very fast. I was a fast swallow, no bitch, it's called a chug.
Oh, I would go to Raging's, Raging's, they're called Ragers.
I would go to Pete's.
Parties.
Pete's living all over the world, they're worth it, tell ya.
parties. It's a living all over the world, I have to tell ya.
So then Rin is like, so what's been happening?
Like she's a kindergarten teacher trying to get everybody involved and to read it's like,
well, he's Serena with a very big rubber air.
Dun dun dun. I think that's a dark you That's next for you
America's like yeah, I mean that shepherd really goes or a that shepherd
Wow, that's everything to say about Yolanda so
To read like I think it's safe to say the chems these are going to put the dog
How only a dog on the back burner? I was like see this is the problem. You're not supposed to put dogs on burners
Don't burn to do it to well, it's a said not to bring it back sounds like made food to me
God
So Durin does during that Doreet. Sorry. I write down the first three letters of their names
And I'm very excited for New York if
you can't talk. So she's like I can't even talk about it. You
know when it just gets to be too much. Yes, do it. Yes, this
when you have nothing happening except what you give a dog to
a family and something to back up so much you have to go to
the Bahamas for that. Yeah, first got stolen. So she's like, how could you use a trip?
A good trip.
Good guys.
We need to try out a Beverly Beach Beachwack guys.
So they are so basically, yeah, so she's
based, she's introducing the, you know,
the early season cash trip, which also we then get our first
time seeing Erica's one of her interview
looks where she has this big sort of like sort of a drag queen 80s hair, which I thoroughly
enjoyed.
I didn't.
I mean, I'm sorry.
I knew you were that was set in a way that's like, I don't mean to discount your feelings,
my friend.
But to me, I'm like, listen, the drag queens already have the market on this.
You're not just suddenly going to be a drag queen to make gay people happy.
Okay. They're already doing it.
Stop taking our shit.
Okay.
Yeah.
You have enough shit straight white lady.
Like you have enough shit.
I like, yeah.
I'm a private jet.
Leave the drag queen.
They're, they're huge wigs.
Like she literally looks like someone on drag race.
Yeah, but for some reason, it's in bother me.
I enjoy it.
I'm just thinking terrible music.
I mean, come on.
But they all look like people from drag race. So I in bother me. I enjoy it. I just think terrible music. I mean, come on. They all look like people from Drag Race.
So I don't know.
I liked it personally.
I know it's shocking, but I did like it.
And then while she's talking to us,
we get a clip.
She's like, oh yeah.
Oh, you know, I've got everything.
Because everywhere they mentioned,
Dary once a trip, so Rin is like, maybe Tahoe.
I don't love Tahoe.
I think we have a place.
I can't remember.
Or Palm Death.
Oh, yeah.
We got a place to pump.
Desert.
Heck yeah.
I don't have that pen.
Uh, this is my mom.
Staten Island.
Yeah.
We got a house to that island.
It's a nice volcano over there.
So the editor is slipping in a clip of her and season one
begging for a budget to replace one pool tile in her house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then they start talking about the Bahamas and the reads like, I would like to go to
a place.
It's new.
It's called Bahama.
It's supposed to be exquisite.
I'm like, oh my God, please tell me they're going to fire fast.
Please tell me they're going to fire fast.
Well, something was going on there because this is the trip that we all saw. Well,
any of us on who know the sweet sweet is ever sushal Medea, the main housewife of all the shows.
Anybody who's talked to her knows that they went to the Bahamas and that's when that reality
star started screaming at Doreet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, robed my friend.
Yeah, I really hope that makes him out of the show because that was a very fun moment on Twitter. I take the credit from the show because that girl said that nobody asked her to sign a release.
So either it's probably too late.
It's too late legally.
It's just blurred it out or something.
Yeah, I think it's probably like too much legal shit that maybe Robert doesn't want to get involved with,
but that's too bad because I would love to know what's what's up with that. I just wait. Yeah, I turned it out. Oh my god.
You guys I'm getting dumber by the day. She's okay. Yeah. So anyway, Doreet's like we have to go to
to Bahama. They have VIP tents. Blink 182 is going to be performing and they're going to have
the most exquisite food from the best chefs and I believe that all the hadids will be there and that girl from that movie.
I'm gonna blow some manifestant board water just like the old days.
It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial.
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle
between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking
about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying
any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a
carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your
podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Now we go to Malibu,
and Denise Richards is there.
And she's at home with her hot boyfriend and her kids.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
So, I'm like, do I really need to argue
with everything you say they think?
You don't have to.
We can accept that Aaron's hot.
I mean, he may not be hot to you.
He's hot to me.
And he's like very...
I think he's like on the verge of being a super creep.
Oh, 100%. Like, I mean, I think this guy is shady as fuck, but he's hot You can be shady and hot sometimes the shadyest people are the hottest people so he's like and he's like very much like
Just a hot muscular bro. He's like I'll make this day tonight
Yeah, cuz there are options are burgers and steak. Yeah, I'm a man.
So, um, Denise's daughter failed English. Yeah, so she has to get a tutor and she's I'm just cracking up because I'm reading the notes.
I know it's like just read all of this is her lines, but she's like, you failed English? You think a tutor would help?
Like yes, Denise.
Like obvious questions.
So she's like, yeah, doing my past, you know, doing wild things and being provocative
on the cover of TIP Mags.
I obviously didn't think back then of being a mom, but you know, yeah, I am.
See, I mean, Lola, her dad is a Charlie Sheen, and you know, her parents are both nuts,
a good look with that bitch. And then, you know, Eloise, this little fucker's adapted as a babyen and you know her parents are both nuts a good luck with that bitch And then you know Eloise this little fuckers adapted as a baby and you know
I was a single mom there's rumors that charles. She's Charlie's kids from a hooker about that's false
And I was like okay, this one was a escort
Yeah, she was affiliated with a company called Craigslist.
Right. Yeah.
She was a model who performed exclusively on Webcams.
This monologue was just fucking perfect.
Okay. Two daughters with Charlie Sheen.
And then an adopted baby everyone thinks Charlie secretly had with a hooker.
I was like, how were you not hired 10 years ago?
Because you were perfect for this.
So Denise and Aaron have been together for a year,
and he's already living in her place,
and honestly, we know they're getting married
during the season, so this is a pretty quick relationship.
And the way that Denise met Aaron is because
she went to his clinic
because he was doing a lot of frequency work and balancing the body.
So already I'm like...
Just got to know you have this guy's a grifter.
Yeah, he is a grifter because, first of all, I don't even know what frequency work even truly means.
Like is he like banging, is he doing like raky shit or whatever, or like banging little symbols,
balancing the body and then of conveniently within a year
he has moved in with a celebrity.
Yeah, after being with Nicholas, oh no.
Yeah, well sort of, they're sort of, yeah.
I was like this guy, this guy, yeah, he's a fuck boy.
Yeah, it's a total fuck boy.
And he also scares me because she's, you know,
she's like, look how happy I am at home.
It does not feel happy.
I have to say that.
It feels like a very tense, awkward situation in there.
And he's like, God, you put the clean force in
with the dirty force.
And I was like, uh-oh, like he's on camera. Like if he was pitching like this on camera about clean forks
What does he like off camera? Yeah, what's his frequency?
Kenneth
Yeah, work on your own frequency your fork freak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
So that she tells us about how it's so nice being with him and she goes, can't get a sound like such a fucking flake saying that,
but you gotta see it on video, okay?
I mean, I didn't understand what it was either,
but yeah, it's pretty fascinating.
And then with my ex-husband Charlie,
if I put the toy that paper on Ragged,
burn the fucking ass down,
so I got damn grateful for my relationship
with mother fucking Aaron a lot.
And I was like, okay, so you went from Charlie's scene
who is obsessive- compulsive to a guy
who's worrying about the forks.
Yeah, exactly.
And who's also a con artist probably.
Yeah.
Lateral.
I mean, yeah, he was like balancing,
he's using tuning forks and next thing you know,
he's like living in Malibu with a starlet, no.
Yeah, or maybe not starlet, but you know what I'm saying.
Rich is fuck lady.
Let's just see that. A lady, yeah. Yeah, or maybe not starlet, but, you know what I'm saying? I'll riches fuck lady. Let's just do that.
A lady, yeah.
A famous lady.
Yeah, so they have to call Charlie
because she doesn't want her kid going to homecoming
because she can't date till 16.
Even though I, you know, I date my mom
kept me from dating and look what happened to me.
So I tried to do me any time.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like, you actually,
you're laughing at oftenies, but really think about that because
you were married to Charlie Sheen.
And now you're with a grifter.
So when you, like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't be laughing off that.
Like maybe you should do everything the other way around.
Yeah.
So they call him and he's like, hi, sweetie.
And I was like, oh, this is Charlie's like evidence.
You know, he's going to use in court with me. Like, like, I was totally fine on the phone that time.
Yeah.
She probably called Emilio.
She's like, I need to prove to America that, like, Charlie
is a good father, but he's not.
So I'm just gonna call it Emilio.
It just happened pretend to be Charlie.
He's like, hi.
This is Charlie Sheen.
Totally not the star of Angels in the outfield.
May I help you?
Hi, this is Charlie Sheen.
If you hear a certain twang in my voice, it's because I watch young guns so much because
a great movie with a great leading actor who should be working more, shouldn't he?
Shouldn't he?
Yes, thank you.
Anyway, your father, Charlie Sheen, is here to talk.
Hey, this is Charlie Sheen.
I've just pressed pause on the breakfast club.
If you need me, think. Hey, this is Charlie Sheen. I've just pressed pause on the breakfast club. If you need me thing.
Hey, this is Charlie Sheen. Hi, daughter. You just interrupted me while I was watching my favorite scene in St. Elmo's Fire, which is any scene that involved that hot tub and endemic dowel and a certain person
who should be working a lot more, but enough about him. Let's talk about me, your father, Charlie Sheen.
By the way, side note, I just remembered,
I saw Andy McDowell this weekend.
How exciting is that?
You did, we're just like,
see her at.
I went to the theater and she was there.
And I was like, wow, it's Andy McDowell.
And I really want to go up to her and ask her questions
about Green Card, but I didn't.
But I was like, Ronnie is going to really appreciate
that I saw Andy McDowell. And it was really exciting for me. And I just want to say that. Yeah, Ronnie is going to really appreciate that I signed in McDowell and it was really exciting for me. I just want to say that.
Yeah, I would, if I ever got to see any McDowell, I'd say listen, congratulations. You'll
like the first person I've ever seen turned from a terrible actor into a semi-decent actor
by the time Magic Mike came around. Congratulations, Magic On. Congratulations, Magic On.
Being that happy medium between Mimi Rogers and Nancy Travis. Thank you.
So what was it like having Gerard Deppardew on top of you?
What was it like having to create romantic chemistry between you and Gerard Deppardew?
When you were shooting Grandhog Day, did it really feel like the same day over and over again?
Like how many times can you say good morning to Michael Keaton, am I right? Would you prefer it if Bill Murray were in green green card
and draw Deppardew is in Groundhog Day, to be honest. That would be amazing actually to write
Deppardew in multiplicity. Well, that's the whole other movie too. Just multiplying jar to produce.
Okay, people.
So then Charlie's like, I don't care, I trust your judgment.
Do you have any change in the couch trying to breath in crack?
Okay, so then we go over to Dorit and Pique.
Pique has a lot of aggravation.
I'm very tired.
I've been on that two aggravation today, babe.
I'm tired.
Very tired.
I've been on that two or three or four weeks and it takes its toll on you, you know what?
Getting on planes, getting off of them, sleeping a lot, eating on someone else's time.
You know how it is, babe.
Such a difficult tour going on that boring, George tour, you know, having to go to Long Beach, Dando Beach,
Huntington Beach, Tustin.
Then, you know, then it was the Long Feather Casino, Casino Marondo.
But Changa, it's hard, babe, it's hard being on the road. Yeah, and then she's like, where have you both had a couple of rough weeks?
Seven three?
Oh, my purse is so she walks into the other room.
Her purse is.
And he's like, is it wrong for your husband to clock her ass, babe?
I'm like, well, you bought it.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
You might as well get a good look, but good look before that shit's repossessed, too.
So she's like, PK, I have this great idea
that we're gonna go to the Bahamas
and spend a lot of money and have a great time
and we're gonna have the odd girls.
He's like, well, I hope you're not inviting Teddy, are you?
Actually, PK, I think I am going to invite Teddy, which is, you know, like a big deal,
a big moment for them. We've taken a baby step. I hope she doesn't interfere in the business
and make a mountain out of a doggy mole hill. I'm like, that's kind of your thing to reach,
to interfere and make huge mountains out of nothing. Yeah. So then he gave us a memory of her fighting with Teddy when she was late to lunch that time
and she goes,
Tiddy, you really believe that I knew it was four o'clock when I said it was four thirty?
That is a funny, a smoking-to-reat memory of all of them.
I know.
Teddy's like, I am Teddy so
Because like well honey. I think that
Here dig here dig he just sticks his entire index finger into his ear and just like scratches for like two seconds
It pulls in I guess
Super cool of you
Good rock LVP obviously and is that clean slate and all that you know
You just get a clean slate and then move forward and then to read has us listeners me. I hope deep in her heart
She believes I had good intentions with giving that puppy to that wonderful lady I met named Sellator
Sellator
name she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a lovely family she's a I'm gonna call everyone. Wish me luck, he's like, you don't need luck. And then I cut to a sign that says, danger rattles nicks.
Yeah, he's like, you're calling to invite people
to the most fabulous place on earth.
They're the lucky ones.
He's like, okay.
Here's what we do.
We fly them to the Bahamas.
We put them in a small room and say,
sorry, the island is closed from mold.
And then after 10 minutes, we lift a curtain and say,
guess what?
There is an island after all.
And there's no mold, just boy George.
So then we got a Rin-Ante-Tedi.
And they exercise.
And this is when I start losing hope.
No offense anybody in the show.
But I started losing a little help in Beverly Hills this season
I'm like really Teddy she's like we've never done this trail and
Rina's like oh
Harry Hammond hike this trail baby
And then they just like kind of sit there. I was more I
Don't I was more upset that Teddy goes. I missed you at soul
Which is her way of saying I didn't see it so psycho
I just hate the idea of calling Seoul Psycho Seoul.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Teddy, no, no, Teddy, say Seoul Psycho fully.
I can't deal with Seoul abbreviated.
I don't, I, a Seoul Psycho abbreviated to Seoul.
I can't.
It's just funny how Teddy acts like she's built this.
She's like, oh yeah, look at my company.
You know, it's like crazy that my company's grown some I'm such a success it's like yeah you're on a fucking
national TV show Teddy you know which I still don't be grudge her her success
but she's kind of acting like she just like miraculously built this whole thing up
you know I'm kind of getting annoyed I don't like watching people hike trails
there yeah I think that's what it is and I did like that they see a rattlesnake.
Whoa.
Hello, rattlesnake.
Hold down.
Rattlesnake, that's a big one.
That's a that's like the Harry Hamlin of Rattlesnakes.
And all right, I mean, I'm not lying.
If you want to see Harry Hamlin, his snake form, there he is.
Here he is.
It's like, they're bigger.
My they're not as big at my house,
but we have them.
Herring loves them.
And then we see a clip of Harry catching
a rattlesnake in the house.
Yeah.
So then they're talking, yeah,
Teddy talks about how her business is growing.
And then she's like, apparently she was in a movie.
She's like, yo, it's in a movie.
I just did it for fun.
And then we see a flashback of Teddy's moment on the movie.
She's like, do you want me to help you bring in this bag?
Okay Yeah, it's really heavy
These bags are heavy
I'm Teddy
It took me three months to get into the mind of a porter. Yeah
And Brenna's like oh
So you want to be an actor?
Oh yes
Like trying to take it really seriously and it's like well used to but you know
I had these big dreams and I moved out here and I got an agent and then I put on like 10 pounds or something
And then they sent me out my manager called me and said you're gonna have to lose weight and Brenda's like oh
God
That is detrimental
God.
That is detrimental.
Meanwhile, later on the episode, she's like, well, I can't hear anything because it's my job.
Yeah, this had a lot of mixed messages in it, didn't it?
Yeah, this is the sad.
There were weird things,
because then Rina's starting like,
you know, we all have issues with our bodies,
you know, and we see a flashback.
I forgot about this.
Love like, Rina and Catherine Edwards,
Reda Party and a cocktail waiter has a thankless job of offering
an order of to Rina. He's like, would you like a cocktail? She's
like, Oh, I would like to, but I'm just like, but she doesn't
eat. I said, I'm gonna get you for that. I do not like you saying
that. Okay, you want a hug?
I'm gonna get you for that. I do not like you saying that. Okay, you want a hug?
It was a tuned to tartar and a wanton crisp. I just thought that was a funny thing and she's like, you know, um,
Yeah, and but she does say like in this business you have to look a certain way. That's just the truth, you know, and daddy's like, yeah, but you know, it doesn't define me, but it defines what I do. I'm like, it defines you. You're literally, you're literally about losing weight. Your whole business is built again about it, you know. But why can't I just
welcome to a room and say, hi, I'm Teddy. Yeah, she's like, I have five women because they
keep them for keep them for now. I'm like, a lot of mixed messages this episode.
Yeah.
My chair is freaking so much by the way.
I'm sorry.
I'm noticing like it's like making,
I think it's time for me to get a new chair, guys.
But fit, do it.
I'm gonna be accountable.
You could talk about it for three hours
and it'll be more interesting than that scene.
So next, let's go, let's talk about either.
The agency.
Let's talk about cows money, guys.'s talk about crowds money guys. Okay. Yeah
At the agency some ratios on the phone like all right like I really stay really stay really stay
Let's call David. Okay done. All right real estate real estate closing mortgage closing mortgage closing on sale
Okay real estate done
He's the bet that's basically the whole thing. That's the truth
Yeah, I'm just high quiet. He did, that's basically the whole thing, that's the truth. Yeah, that's like, hi, quiet in here, huh?
And he's like, it's Tuesday, Kera, then, you know,
if people are here, then they're not working.
I'm like, yeah.
So what are you doing here?
I'm basically not working.
I'm just on the phone, I'm talking to Taco Bell,
saying, real estate, saying real estate real estate mortgage
Kyle's like have you sent the tow truck over to take Kim's lay the stouse
please
So then she's my town
In my town so then she's telling him
He's like my neck is hurting me because I was sleeping in the bed so that Portia could cuddle with us and it made my neck hurt.
And she's like, oh my god, honey, your neck and my eye. Honey, look, one eye blink slow.
And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I mean, Kyle, this has been happening for a decade, okay?
We've only had this show on the air nine years, and I can guarantee I've got the stills to prove from every single season that has been happening for that amount of time, okay?
Yeah.
And she's like, don't laugh at me.
And then she goes, I'm a hypercontract there.
I said it.
I'm like, no, hypercontractor people who think they have real things wrong with them.
Your eyes are literally blinking slower than the other eyes.
So real mental thing.
Okay.
I also like the way that she said it is, if it was a brave admission, like, like, she came
out of the hypercontract closet.
I'm like, listen Kyle, we're all hyper-conjurex.
I mean, I'm a huge one myself.
So, yeah, so now Kyle's crying
because Sophie has been leaving for college soon,
so she's crying and everything.
And, you know, she's like, you know,
as a mom in this town, I feel complete.
When I have my kids and my husband together,
that's when I feel a hundred percent Kyle
I'm just imagining like her CPU be like
100% Kyle
And I like how he responds because he's like babe you always worry about these things
But it always works out the same. They leave then they come back then they leave then they come back
That's what it's like being really rich where the hell are they
gonna go they're gonna they're gonna live like this huh that's exactly what I was gonna say yeah
just it's like yeah like did you forget we're rich so like they're just gonna come back yeah you
can't keep your you can't keep the chord tied to them forever but you can't keep the Wells Fargo
account hard to them forever double back I be back. I promise you. Yeah.
They're going to want to be famous,
like everyone else in your family.
Yeah.
So let's see.
So that's pretty much that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That was it.
I don't really mind.
I mean, I actually did feel a shred of sadness,
or I don't know if that's even makes sense.
I did feel a little bit of sadness for Kyle,
because that sucks.
You know, you're talking going off to college, but then I was like, hmm, you're rich. So then, uh, Rina,
uh, is now at home. Uh, she's like, with, she has like two dogs and like one is trying,
she's like trying to teach one how to like eat food. I'm like, wow, they're really, like,
really bringing this theme to every scene here, you know, she's like, no, let me let him run, but I'm not a fight. No.
Please let him have some of Harry animals pie. Please.
Yeah, cuz her daughter's her models now so they both have little fucking dogs
Yeah, cuz that's how it is. They're both carrying grand puppies everywhere. Yeah, wow, so she has a scene with Amelia
Wow. Wow.
So, she has a scene with Amelia.
We're Amelia's like, mom, it is time to have a talk.
A talk about anorexia.
Anorexia, which I had.
And anorexia, I need to talk about it.
I was like, okay, so her story line is for daughter Santa Rexia.
I'm losing more hope.
Okay.
Well, I'm not losing hope.
I just feel like it just like, you know,
they had to throw in this.
I think they're throwing in these sort of things that like,
like add the emotional underpinnings of the season
before they end the real shit.
But like, yeah, I mean, I was talking about anorexia, you know.
It was, you know, emotional and nice, you know.
And then anorexia is not nice, but like the journey,
you know, that she came through it and she's inspiring others.
Lovely. I was honestly more focused on like the fact that there were like about 35 big
white pillows in the background that had all been given that chop. So they all just look
like giant teeth that had been pulled out of someone's mouth and put upside down. Like, it
looked like the entire living room was full of giant teeth. I was like, this is terrifying.
It's terrifying.
If you go back, go back, look at that scene.
It was like a four to five.
It's just like a horrifying crest commercial.
God, that is so creepy.
It's like that they were overly chopped.
They were overly chopped.
So it's just like the corners come up and it's like,
dude, like, tooth.
I know this probably resonates with you in a very particular way, since you just had a lot of dentistry done.
So I apologize.
But it feels great now.
So you know what?
Happy about teeth again.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's just like the living room is going through like a very like
tooth chic moment.
So they talk about this, you know, how she fixed, you know, they, it was
obvious that she had it, because, you know, Instagram, we saw some Instagram
pictures, which were horrifying. And Amelia's like, like, all your friends, like, you
go out and like, you're with all your friends, you're all like just staring at
that bread basket, you know, and Rin is like, we all do, we all do.
And it's just such an odd conversation because it is a struggle. I mean, I'm not saying it's
a struggle with Rina anorexia. And she even says, people are going to say that my kids are fucked
up because I had anorexia, but I never had anorexia. But then that's always been the thing that
everyone's thrown at her on the show that she does meet. She's got anorexia and then, you know, then she has like a big dessert party.
Like, you know, which is kind of, as we learned on real housewives of New York City,
another, I don't think that it has anorexic, by the way.
It should be anorexic. I wouldn't know. I don't understand anorex. I don't understand it.
I just feel like if you've ever had it. I mean, understand Anna, I don't understand it. It's a way to have ever had it.
I mean, I've had some friends who had eating disorders
or everything and I'm not making light of this at all,
but I just don't think, honestly, I think that if she were
anorexic all this time, like she would not be with us,
you know, like it's not like you can,
you don't maintain anorexia for like years and years and years.
It's like, it's a really like, you know,
it really messes up your body.
So I think she's just skinny and I think she just doesn't eat a lot to keep her, keep her weight down, but I don't think that she's at, like what, you know, it really messes up your body. So I think I think she's just skinny and I think she just doesn't eat a lot to keep her, keep her weight down, but I don't think
that she's at like what, you know, I mean, who am I to say, right? Like, I'm not, I'm not
sure what I'm saying. I mean, I'm, I think if someone says they're not, I know she said
they're not, but, um, yeah, it's just a weird, it's just such a mixed message episode
because it's all about body issues. And then it's like, it's a sort of party.
Is this such a mixed message episode because it's all about body issues and then it's like a dessert party?
Well, that's about having it.
I guess maybe about having a healthy relationship with food maybe.
I don't know.
I think that sometimes when it comes to these sort of things, like Bravo is maybe not the
best educator.
So then they talk a little bit about Teddy and stuff and, uh, you
know, her own stuff, just being an actor and having to keep them all the time and stuff
like that. Yep. So then we go over to Doreet's house, uh, where there's a much different,
uh, conversation going on. It's basically Jagger saying, you're my robot, mommy. And she's
like, I am your robot. I am a hundred percent to read
He's like okay, I want peanut butter
Which is you know a great wish I love that kid. Yeah, so then fan of pumping Canada her driving and she's like
Can you rear end people too much?
She's not they should get out of the way that you know, it's like
Sorry, the Meyer sensors don not going off all the time. It's like if you rear end someone, it's always your fault
because you're driving too fast.
And if you end up in battery-rending someone, that means it's your fault.
GET IT!
So then we see Kyle with Mauricio and Sophia comes in and she's like, oh, oh, like I feel bad
about going to my home is right now.
She's like, oh my god, mom, please go.
Just go.
I can't, I can't do this anymore.
Just get out of my face.
Yeah.
Sophia's over it for sure.
No, she's, she's done. She's done. So then we wind up at
Ren at his house again
And Teddy and Teddy is there and this is the the party the food the the dessert party with they make chocolate hearts and stuff
and so they're they're coming over and
Everyone is like
Harry's away, they can't throw away.
I can only post so many big,
but it was an Instagram to get a tangent.
I might so have the ladies over.
And of course, to reach late because that's to eat.
She's the last one there.
So she's like, Camilla goes,
where is the other pump? And she pump? Oh, I don't think she
can come because something's wrong with Chicky. And Camille is like, oh, yeah. Oh, really?
Well, you were kind enough to furnish me with an audio clip. So I'll just play it right
now. I don't hear it. Is it playing? Oh, well, it was theoretically playing,
but I guess it didn't play. Here, I'll try one more time.
I think something's wrong with jiggies. Something's wrong with jiggies. I know. Did you hear it?
I think something's wrong with jiggies. Something's wrong with jiggies.
I know.
I also want to point out by the way, it's being all this body issue stuff, which of course
we love to talk about.
It doesn't everyone love one too, guys.
Talk about women's body issues.
But honestly, after all this talk, Erica walks in, sees Rinna and goes, oh, you look
minuscule and it's fab
Like maybe
The right time
So
Vanderpump and canner at Villa Rosa and he's like paper what paper what paper
Vanderpump and canner at Villa Rossa and he's like paper what paper what paper
photo Business business business man. Elephoto and she's like hello. Do I hear the sound of a rustling manilla
Please take me to table 44 of business business business
Please take me to the sound of business in industry thank you table 44 is alive with the sound of business manena manela paper
paper paper so she's like oh waitress what's your face non-catie please I must
have that dazzling new dish what is is it? It is so innovative. Avocado and mango and avocado tartar.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ravish me with its flavors.
Everything is fucking tartar with her.
She loves her tartar this woman.
I'll have the chicken tartar, please.
So then she's like, well,
tennis,
Medingo, but don't go.
What do you think about me going to the Bahamas?
I mean, I think it's a must you must go.
We like trying to start going to the business.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ken, stop rear-ending that chair.
Ken, oh, I'm so emotional lately.
I mean, as we all know, the islands are no place for emotions. No, I cannot I must not
And she's like, but what about you puppy should I call and Harrison's like please just leave me alone
She's like Ken
Please you must promise since chicken needs a pacemaker. I want you to promise you will be by a side every waking moment
I'm like what else what like what else does Gendu?
Yeah, Ken like the dogs and can dress exactly the same outfits, okay
Like I'm sure that jiki will be taken care of
He has like a notch that's been etched into his like side where where jiki just sits
Yeah, so then we get this the shade the Lisa shade. He's like a notch that's been etched into his side where Jiggy just sits.
Yeah, so then we get this, the shade, the Lisa shade. He's like, she goes,
well, I could use a break here, God.
And he's like, oh, you know, you have carol there.
She's always good for loft, then you'll have Dorit.
That'll be great.
And she's like, oh, I love Dorit.
But sometimes he calls it wrong.
And sometimes it's hard to defend her if you get my drift.
Yeah, sometimes it's hard to defend her.
Is that what you mean?
Well, what?
You get my drift.
Yeah, something literal.
You get my drift.
Well, and then she's like, you know, to read, you know, she, this whole thing could have
been avoided.
She just needed to give the dog back to us.
But I love her anyway. And maybe that's just how to read roles, you know, just this whole thing could have been avoided. She just needed to give the dog back to us, but I love her anyway.
And maybe that's just how to eat rose, you know,
just giving innocent animals to kill shelters.
Oh, oh, I do want to say actually,
we got a message from someone on Instagram,
someone who works at a shelter,
and I didn't pull up the message,
so I'm not, I'm gonna paraphrase,
but this person was was very adamant.
She's like, you know, we work at a shelter, and we sometimes our shelters get a bad rap.
We just get dogs and just immediately kill them.
That's not what we do.
We do a lot of outreach.
We try to find homes for these dogs.
And the first thing we always do is reach out to these adoption agencies or whatever.
And so she just really wants, and I was like, you know what,
I will let the audience know.
I will speak up for Shelley to her.
And she was just like, you know, like we're not like,
we're not like some incinerator,
or we just toss animals into it.
Like they do do a lot of work and,
and like, you know, it's not like, you know,
they make it sound like the shelters is like,
I wish I had pulled up her message.
I probably have been doing a massive disturbance right now.
Yeah, but the thing is that they don't save them.
Then the dogs do, you know, get put down and kill shelters.
And this dog had already been saved by the Vanderpump, whatever foundation or whatever it
is.
Vanderpump dogs.
And so to treat to a save dog who's already been through all that and then put it back
into that process, you know, but yeah, I'm not villainizing his shelter, but yeah,
the no, I know you were. I'm just saying, I just felt like what this woman
wrote was here. Let's see, she said, I did find it. She said that the fact that the shelter or
contact with van der Pomp dogs because the microchip let them back
is 100% standard practice and not because Vandipump dogs
is some fantastic cutting edge rescue.
Practically all shelters and rescues ask adopters for
return animals if they can no longer.
Well anyway, anyway, I just want I wanted to be a voice
of the shelters.
Okay.
So she's like, yeah, maybe there's just how to reach Rose.
And then she decides she's gonna have fun and it's like, here's the fun.
She's like, you're not having fun while I'm gone.
You're working.
Ah.
After then we move on to Dereet finally arriving at this.
I'm going to take the Blunge at having fun again.
And I know just how to have fun.
It's called pin the pussy bow on the donkey.
So then to read arrives and everyone's really up to chefs.
Everyone's wearing the chefs little aprons from his store
or whatever.
And they're making chocolate hearts with stuff stuffed in
and the guy goes, OK, so we know we're gonna stuff these for our loved ones
and then I thought you could write a note and we're gonna put it on top and read goes, so we're gonna write a note
to whoever we want!
I'm fucked up.
I'm gonna read, yes.
I like to write a note to Teddy and say, Teddy, who the fuck do you think you are here?
I'm just gonna add on that card.
It's four o'clock.
I'm seeing if she gets some ads about it.
And then so they're filling the hearts and he goes,
and then we're gonna put those nits on top of the hearts in
America because on top of the hearts,
it's like, is this the dumbest cast ever?
Are you guys just totally out of things to say?
And so then I love how angry Denise Richards got about it.
She's like, I don't like this is supposed to be some sort of baking.
Like, there's no fucking dough.
I don't even know why they call it pastry.
This isn't pastry.
This is melting chocolate on chocolate.
You know what I'm saying?
And there's a no means.
You can get chocolate all over it.
You know what?
This, you know what?
This needs a frequency adjustment.
As in like, what's the frequency with this Kenneth?
Did someone say that already on this podcast? Was it me? I said that already didn't I?
Yes, the saddest sorry. Yeah. I like that she's like really like, she's basically,
she has, she has very strict interpretations of pastry, pastry shopping.
Not a lot of that stuff.
Pastry.
So then the chef takes them into the next room to have,
he's like, okay, well now you guys just get to enjoy chocolate.
These are hand-painted flower petals.
And one of them's like,
it's hand-painted.
Is it like, yep.
Is it edible?
Yes.
No, it's toxic.
He painted it with lead paint.
And now you can eat it to read.
So the guy's, by the way, his business was called like butter, love, and hard work.
I'm like, this is such like a food network star concept.
Like my concept is butter, love, and hard work.
Because there's the three things that go together and make some good food.
Like, shut up.
Go away.
Karney Wilson back.
I know. I need Karnie Wilson back in my life.
Uh, so then Erica's like, Oh, yeah, can't be.
I haven't eaten anything but can't be the day.
I insert every day in my life.
Because it's one of the oldest things that brings pleasure.
I'm like, it's one of the only things that brings you pleasure.
Erica really, like, Erica leads a life of leisure tolling.
And then they cut to her in her first season eating like a slab of chocolate cake and Beverly Hills.
I was like, God damn it.
It's taken me four years to stop craving that piece of chocolate cake.
And now you brought it back.
My member would see it like one bite.
She's like, oh, yeah, I really, I like dessert.
She's like, um, delicious.
Done.
Yeah.
Ninja drinks her champagne,
she goes, so pup.
This is my fucking life,
and I'm not the power-chasing, sorry.
Yeah, she's like, you know what, Eda?
Cause you know what, you put it on?
And you take it off, just work out.
I'm like, okay, now you lost me there,
because guess what, I'm eating fucking rice cakes,
and I'm gaining 45 pounds
every time I do it so stop.
D'Eleso!
I think I can drop the chocolate flowers with a trip to the Bahamas!
Oh!
So, they start asking Denise, they all want to know about Aaron.
So, she starts saying, like, yeah, I'm mad, Aaron.
I made him when I was doing DNA repair, and I had sex in one of his room.
I'm like, wait, DNA repair?
That doesn't even make sense.
See, like, working at, like, Caltech?
No, DNA repair.
Frequency and, oh, please, I can't.
That's amazing. I'm with Guy as such a repair. DNA repair frequency and Dean. Oh, please. I can't I was guy is such a picture DNA repair. No girl I could have hair and like
Toes and aren't stuck together
It's you like making dinosaurs down in Culver City wherever his thing is. I don't know like
No DNA repair. He's not DNA repairing anything. Is he the one who gave goose knuckles?
No to eat So Is he the one who gave goose knuckles? No, Dorite.
So Cam, Cam goes, wow, that was some treat, Matt.
By the way, Camille is giving Denise the dirtiest looks. Did you catch it?
No, but I believe it.
I believe 100% especially, especially when Denise, I imagine when she says, I mean,
technically, he's still married.
I was like, okay, I mean,
I'm done. Yeah, because Camille goes, okay. So I was like, oh, Camille's gonna hate this person.
And yeah, the girl, the picture in you there and having sex is right out there with my favorite polaro.
Because I watch polaro and the chocolate, that's right. Mm.
Oh, look.
And Denise is like, I'm flattered that Erica thinks of me and Erin having sex.
It's definitely a turn on.
I was like, who is this woman?
She needs to be on every house live show, okay?
I don't even care.
I heard that she's probably going to be really boring from some old queen who works so much.
But man, I don't think so. I think I'm going to love her.
I think she's going to be boring, but whatever. She's still, I mean, I'm just fascinated by
this whole situation here. Like, she fell in love with this big, hunky DNA repairman who
works with frequency and balancing the body
and who's still marriage neglects charity and even though he hasn't officially been divorced
from her that they, like within a year, he's now shacked up with another famous actress.
I don't know.
This is like so many red flags.
And so Harry Rinna is like, well, Harry was a married to her for 11 months.
And Aaron was married to her what six and came to those the same person.
She's like, you didn't know that and Camille jumps.
I'm sick.
I did not know that.
It's like the lab is Camille has spoken in nine years.
Yeah. Probably triggered some flashback has spoken in nine years. Yeah.
Probably triggered some flashback to Frasier.
Yeah, she's all excited now.
So then Rinna tells the story and she's like, Harry was married to her 30 years ago and
he went to Canada because Harry always in Canada doing something to this day.
And she wanted to go see a Michael Bolton concert and then left with Michael Bolton and
Carrie or Harry found out when he was in Canada.
And to this day, I say thank you, Nicola Sheridan.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Stay away from my man, you bitch.
Cheers to Michael Bolton.
And yeah. So then Teddy's like, well, I really never thought that with Michael Bolton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and uh, yeah.
So then Teddy's like, wow, I really never thought that with Michael Bolton with all that
hair.
Uh, I mean, to be fair, I don't really think about Michael Bolton at all.
Hi, I'm Teddy.
That's Teddy.
That's Teddy's opening line. I never think of Michael Bolton at all. I'm Teddy.
And then she starts talking about how she met Edwin, which is that he was going to go
into a club and then he didn't go into the club he didn't say he went and had sex with
Teddy instead. So then, I was like, we have sex twice a week. Yeah, it's always like, two ZZ 11 and Thursday at 3 p.m.
And I'm always like, hi, I'm Teddy, it's time for sex.
Do you try to tell him when it's 11 in the morning?
That's it for 30!
Or am I the only one who gets that kind of treatment
from you, Teddy?
Yeah.
And Denise is like, oh, Aaron and I,
we have sex every single day.
I mean, and if we're not around with some time of feast time, I mean, it is just like
bang and banging and banging and banging.
And you know, it's like my DNA is not only repaired, it is set for life.
I mean, I like that she says that like, oh, we have the best relationship.
Babe, you've been together five minutes, okay?
Yeah.
Your relationship as, as far as we can tell your relationship is based on
having sex or him probably putting his hands all over your body to adjust quote unquote frequencies
and to repair DNA. Yeah. I mean, sounds good to me. I mean, he basically sounds like a good
conditioner, you know. Yeah. Hey, listen, he's hot. So I say more power to him. I'm just saying just make sure there's a prenup. Yeah. So then everyone's basically packing. Yeah. And it's the usual packing montage. And of course,
we see like Erica with Mikey and he pulls some shirt out that has tiger. She goes, oh, it says,
I am tigers, but tropical. What does that mean? And then this one's a kind of a phobia girl.
And he's like, yeah, this one's life.
That is a moment.
Like a Mikey still miking.
He really is.
And now it's like everyone's going to LAX.
We have a cute moment with Kyle.
Like her dog, Storm, was on the floor just like playing dead,
which, you know, probably happens a lot in that house.
And then they're all in, they're all in LAX and she's like, and they go from LAX to Florida, and then they get onto like this
PJ private jet. And she's like, I want this trip to be glamorous, luxurious, and fun. And if it's not, I'm just gonna give it to someone else.
And then Erica is like, oh yeah, not a lot of people get the experience to go on the
private jet.
But one day you're on the Gulf Stream, and the next day you can be in coach.
But it doesn't matter how you got there, honey, it's that you got there.
She sounds like a beer commercial now.
Oh, a bottle beer.
She sounds like she's making taglines for a serious Budweiser commercial.
You know what Budweiser was like?
Yeah, Budweiser, Budweiser, Budweiser.
And now we'll be serious, horses.
It doesn't matter how you got here on horses or by foot,
as long as you got here, Budweiser.
Budweiser.
Now go to your room, Erica.
So then Kyle's like oh my god, I have fears about things and a walkie-eye. I am a mess
And then someone goes okay now the 7F has the sound of the fluke of the brakes and Teddy goes oh god
You got to love the sound of the word fluke when I'm flying.
I'm Teddy. Oh, it sounds like some safety inspector was not being held accountable. Hi, I'm
Teddy, and I'm all in this plane. I would ask that your fluke have some accountability.
That would be great. I'm Teddy. Yeah, yeah, I'm Teddy. So we have now reached an altitude of 20,000 feet and I'd like to say it's safe to take
off your seatbelt and say hi I'm Teddy.
So Vanderpromp's like Kyle, oh, to read analysis.
She's like, yeah.
I'm with, I'm black soon now.
How are we doing the rooms?
Kyle, your own room.
Ericka, your own room Ericka your own room everyone the room and Lisa Vander Poompas
I thought you could share my beautiful sweet with me
Yeah, which
Lisa does not want to do it all yeah gross. She's like no
She's like but it's nice. She's like you have a snoworing problem and a gas problem. I gotta want that.
And everyone's like, Lisa Vanderpump is evil again.
One bar that goes too far, saying that Doreet has a gas problem. Yeah, that's Kyle. She goes, it's all funny games. And then when JAP goes too far, I'm like,
yeah, a fart joke. Oh, God, here we go. Oh, So that was that and that was the episode. Yeah, not
too much happened, but fun nonetheless. Why don't we jump over to listeners spotlight?
Do we have to where I dare you double dare me double dare me double dog.
dog. Okay, here we go. So this one is from the lovely and glamorous Rota. Are you ready? Yeah.
Hey, Ben and Ronnie. This is Rota from Queen's New York. My nom de plume is our Simone. It's usually what I rant under in the comment section on the patron.
Initially, I was going to speak about what I'm excited about watching on Bravo this spring and why has suggested.
But I decided that I wanted to speak about why I'm excited about watch what crap ends all year long.
wanted to speak about why I'm excited about watch what crap ends all year long. Here's a great example. Today was not a great day for me. I'm naturally an anxious person. Well, not easily annoyed,
just generally annoyed by nature. I guess I'm a stereotype in that way, being from New York.
I guess I'm a stereotype in that way, being from New York. The end of the episode and realized that I had just witnessed two grown men, not even
tag-taming, working in unison to create one brilliant impression of an imaginary cruel, bizzaro pad malakshmi.
They came together and did one impression
of this woman using a microphone, brilliant, brilliant.
And you know what, it's not solving my problems.
I'm still gonna have a zombie,
I'm still gonna worry about my family,
I'm still gonna worry about the rant,
I'm still gonna worry about my health,
they're gonna worry about the future, Eddie Vetter. I'm still going to worry about my family, I'm still going to worry about the rent, I'm still going to worry about my health, they're going to worry about the future, Eddie Vetter.
I'm still going to worry, but it did make me smile.
And you know what, that's worth a lot.
A lot of people don't have things to smile about.
So I'm grateful for you guys.
You guys are interesting and funny and seemingly kind.
And I'm really happy that I found this podcast.
Love you guys and until you guys show me otherwise.
Thank you for not being assholes.
Thank you.
Wait, we haven't shown her that we're assholes yet.
Thank you so much for that.
And it's really great reading all of your comments because people don't
really comment on Patreon a lot.
So it's really fun to read all your comments on there.
It's like your play grand over there are.
And did you mean to leave a comment?
Awesome.
Yeah, it's really been great,
getting to know you on there.
And thank you so much for the support.
And everybody, thank you so much for all you do for us.
Yeah, that was great.
And we're glad that we're able to provide like an hour.
Respite from the anxiety.
You know, it's just an hour, you know.
Hey, so yeah, thanks, thanks for, thanks for that.
That was really nice.
Thanks everybody.
We will be back tomorrow with some real house of new jails.
Recap of the reunion part one, we will see you tomorrow guys.
Bye everyone! you. you Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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