Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Don't Cry For Me Kyle-gentina

Episode Date: February 22, 2018

This week's "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" is a battle Royale to find out who's the biggest victim: Dorit, for having her big night ruined? Kyle, for perceived snubs? Or Lisa Vanderpump, ...for being called insecure and jealous? It's a magnificent carousel of self-pity and accusations, and we're here to recap it all! Be sure to buy tickets to our live shows at watchwhatcrappens.com! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Starting point is 00:00:24 Just saying, okay! Can't have a burger without Megan Burg, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low, and Kristi D'Aurry, the OG Prem Supreme! Plus our super premium sponsors, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master, and Lizzie Drucker, a fine about all that crap on Bravo that we
Starting point is 00:01:23 just love to watch I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the Bantre Blender podcast and joining me on this lovely day is a wonderful fabulous Excitable hilarious joyous, beautiful Just all together perfect person My co-host Ronnie Caram from trash talk TVtv.com and the Rose Fricks Bachelor podcast. Hi Ronnie. Wow. Wow Ben, thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Thank you so much. Welcome. You're welcome. How are you today? What a lovely way to be in TRODE. Yeah, well you deserve it. You deserve it after all we've been through. Ah.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Ah. How are you doing? We are both in New York. We're both in New York. We had a live show earlier this week and it was phenomenal. Life-changing. Life-changing, but we're still here in New York and the action never ends. The live shows never end. Go to watchocrapins.com so that way you can go buy tickets to our upcoming live shows, places like Houston, Detroit, Irvine. We're going to have a lot of fun with those. Don't want you to miss out, so buy your tickets now and submerge too while you're there, you know? Support the podcast, huh? So today we're gonna be talking.
Starting point is 00:02:46 It's not like a squeak toy, right? It's, but like a squeak toy with like some pointy hair. That always tells the truth. So we are talking to some real housewives of Beverly Hills. And oh my God, this episode had me cracking up the entire time and I haven't been able to talk about it, and finally, it's time to talk about it. Well, real housewives of Beverly Hills, it's almost like they've decided to just lean
Starting point is 00:03:12 into the petty. Yes. I feel like sometimes they just accidentally get stuck in it where it's like, oh, God, we're fighting about a vagina all year. Yeah. Or they get dragged into it and they just make the best of it. We're this year, they're like, oh my God, least ofander pump, look to each sideways, it is an elevator.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Let's talk about it all year. And then they're like, oh my God, and they really get mad. And they're just like going for it 100%. It's my favorite kind of petty because it's slowly escalating petty, right? It starts off with Dorit being late to Teddy's house oh Teddy's to meet with Teddy and then Teddy and Dorit have to talk about it and then Dorit is complaining about wine glasses and then they have to talk about it again and now slowly Lisa and Kyle get drawn into
Starting point is 00:03:59 that and then they are at dinner and then Kyle is talking about that issue and then Lisa is like all right I'm going and then they're at dinner and then Kyle is talking about that issue and then Lisa is like, all right, I'm going and then they're mad at then there's an issue at least and then to reach start talking about it's just been like the snowball of pettyness. And now we've like reached this episode and we it's like we have reached the Super Bowl of petty now. No. Just and by the way, it's like a Super Bowl where literally nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:04:23 It's like if the Super Bowl was just guys crying and like, you know, getting drunk, basically, and it's amazing. And one thing we didn't mention last week or I didn't mention last week is that I'm seen with Eric and Tom, which seemed like we got to do it. Come on Tom, get out of bed. Like that one thing that they're going to do all year. Yeah. He does. Simon is Shuster.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Now that's a deal. That's a deal. And when they said Simon Shuster on this, again, just showing Tom going, Simon Shuster, I'm like, I'll pour a thing, just put him back in bed. Yeah, he's got a broken ankle in the football and just let him just rest in bed and play with Tom's mind. Yeah, yes. When Tom's mind even putting his teeth into film a scene, it's just time to put Tom to bed. Okay. Yeah. So we're back in New York. It's fashion week. And we just hear Dureko. Why Lisa? Why? If all days that we're here, it has to be a rainy day for the actual party for me. Lisa. Well, the very first shot of this episode, and it's a long shot too. It's just a squirrel eating a net. It squirrels like, I can sense there's some petty in town. So I'm just gonna have a snack
Starting point is 00:05:38 and watch. It's just eating it round and round and round. Just a squirrel too. Lisa, that squirrel has a nut. Guys, should we get nuts also? Lisa, can you believe it's a rainy day for the Bella cover party? Bella. So yeah, so Doreet is going to be on the cover of Bella magazine. And they're going to have a big party for it. And so she's talking about Lisa,
Starting point is 00:06:04 the band of pumpers are walking through like, Brandt Park or something. And Lisa's like, well, to have a cover on a magazine is something special. It's something you can pass down to your grandchildren. And I guess now would be a really good time to mention that Ronnie and I are gonna be on the cover of the Penny Savor next week.
Starting point is 00:06:21 So everyone, please get it and pass it down to your grandchildren. Following in your footsteps Lisa. And she's like it's true. I remember my Bella magazine cover party. Everyone left me alone in the Hampton so I pointed out instantly that I lean as a whore. Oh enjoy that grand son.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Enjoy it. Yes, it's quiet and honor. I remember when I made the original footsteps that you're following in and I was on the cover of that magazine watching it go out to a circulation of 45 people was such a profound moment for me. By the way, I am still in this bunk bed in my loft hotel and so home. For anyone wondering why my sound is crazy, okay? That's what I am back in my childhood bedroom with my parents puddling around, sure to interrupt soon enough.
Starting point is 00:07:14 And I feel so bella just being on the bottom bone. I'm like, uh, I'm about to other one. The other one. The other bed. Well, speaking about the other magazine, so to read is now like complimenting herself. She's saying, Bella magazine is a fashion magazine. They are well aware that I'm a designer
Starting point is 00:07:34 and that they say, I embody what the magazine represents. I'm like, if you embody what the magazine represents, then what is this magazine really about? Is it about like, her a thick singing with boy about? Is it about like, her affixing in with boy George? Is it about like, how to be 45 minutes on time and get out of it? Even if they're hurting your baby's brain. Remember when we accidentally broke off Jagger's head? You remember when Jagger had him but she had it helmet. It's just all ways to like hurt your trial Ted. Bella, the other one. And she is the other one in this one because Lisa was first.
Starting point is 00:08:14 So she's like the ada ada. The adakada, the adakada, adakada. And her friends like enjoying being the other one. Seems like Bella's enjoying it. Kidding get it. That was all miserable So next step is Teddy and Camille and Camille's like I'm so nervous because missing house of fedang I'm more nervous than Mason is I'm about Mason as you so many people at the fashion show it's gonna be like and that's just like too fast for me I'm exhausted from last night No, look here comes Kyle
Starting point is 00:08:59 I'm like I'll have the soup of the day and crudite But where wrote that down? By the way, I wrote it to you. I said Kyle's ordering soup of the day and cut it It's a little west coast rap My name is Kyle Riches, and I'm here to say I'm ordering soup of the day and crudite And you heard my feeling Like it doesn't rhyme that's how Kyle rubsattle and everything will rhyme and then it'll end. You heard my feelings.
Starting point is 00:09:29 She's jealous of the celebrity because the carrot likes it more. She's the three way fight with the crew today. So some of I guess Camille puts her her purse on the ground. And Kyle goes, don't put your purse on the ground. That's bad luck. And Daddy's like, what do I care? I'm poor. And she's like, look, no, Camille goes, so what? I've had bad luck for seven years. I'm like, uh, do you want to recount your past seven
Starting point is 00:09:54 years? You got done put national TV by Frazier. You got remarried. Then you dated some asshole who you filed abuse claims against. Is that like go on? And you lost your job. So I don't know, maybe keep a journal. So Camille, of course, no Camille hates to read, which is great. Cause I like when it's been seven years since Camille has hated someone and now she hates someone again, which is, you know, this is the classic Camille. So she is happy to just, you know, spill the teal that spill spill the teal spill the tea she'll spill teal also I spill the teal
Starting point is 00:10:30 sorry about your change bros I spill the teal oops so she started to spill the tea about dinner gets back on her feet sorry about the dime I think it rolled under the, under the couch. I have to look in the bank hat. Sorry. So give the bandie take a penny. I guess I spilled the penny. Penny saver comes back around every time everybody. Guys, let me be on the car. The penny saver comes back around every time everybody guys let me be on the car the penny saver gonna show it to Mason in 20 years I'm the past down next to a lot more ad
Starting point is 00:11:14 Well to be spoke the whole time last night and Ted goes yeah, she had the narration Yeah, she's talking about how to read, brought up the whole beach house situation. And they're all just like telling Kyle what she missed out. And Teddy says that to read through Lisa Vanitypum under the bus. And how Doreet said that, Lisa Vanitypum gets jealous of Doreet and Kyle's friendship
Starting point is 00:11:41 and all this. They're basically telling Kyle everything, which is nothing basically. The read basically, well, Doreet went Kyle's friendship and all this, they're basically telling Kyle everything. Which is nothing, basically. Doreet basically went to dinner and told everybody what happened, but she don't, I mean, it is what happened. But the thing is that Doreet brought it up in a gossipy way. Doreet was like, you guys, Lisa Thanda Pump,
Starting point is 00:12:00 is it literally, I think I may have said that she's jealous. I may have said she's a jealous wench. I don't remember, I don't remember quite well. I think her words are correct. I hate it when you and Carl hang out because I left. I feel left that I never got attention. I'm insecure and I'm a deeply unhappy person. I don't remember. Don't quote me guys. Teddy goes. Well, essentially she alluded that she gets jealous and then it custody going I think what she said she gets jealous oh my god Teddy it's like transcribing and
Starting point is 00:12:30 carls like well I will tell you that Lisa will be very very hurt by that yeah and then Teddy goes well hopefully she's telling Lisa today because like if that were my friend I would have empathy and I would call them and say, I messed up out, don't touch me. Ooh. Ooh. You know, take this and Teddy. I know you're an accountability coach, but most people don't operate like that. So I won't necessarily hold that against the read. What I will hold against the read is pretty much everything that happened in the next scene,
Starting point is 00:13:00 which is her pretending like she's being up front with Lisa, but she's not. So to read and Lisa are walking through the park. And I just have to set this up by saying Dorit's doing that nervous thing like she got when she was sitting in the kitchen with Erica while they were watching people exercise where she's like, yeah, I've got to see something. It's my duty. What do I do? And she just kind of paces back and forth going, no, what do I do? Lisa, I'm concerned.
Starting point is 00:13:27 I don't see Amy Adams, dance ground this park. Are we showering in-in-chent-ed? Lisa, what are you talking about? I'm sorry, I'm nervous. Lisa, I love you, and I value as one of my friends. So anytime any conversations happen, I want very much to be front and center. And they're like, Lisa's's like what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Darling you seem like a broken bird, but not and I'm I'm confused Speak you're a bird. It needs to be broken Please let me break you come here Lisa get all for me. I'm front and center now In that moment it was so abrupt and shocking and carlander with carlander. I was the laser focused on car. Laser focused on car and when you left it was the shock and laser. The shock in the way it's fine. I feel like you want to say something. Say it to read. Say something or you'll lose me forever
Starting point is 00:14:27 I Can not believe nobody has busted on my door yet Tell me you need to shut the fuck up if nobody is gonna bust on my door during real half-size of Atlanta the other day Or this one screaming out to read today. I can do whatever the fuck I want here. It's like a new freedom Well, this happening is the staff there are probably like, Oh, I guess the recums he's back and down. They're like the lady who keeps saying, Shocking is back. All right, everyone dust off the glasses.
Starting point is 00:14:55 So it's like recharping the door side to say, disturb me from to fit. Just to me. So just. So yeah, so basically, Dereet is essentially doing her version of a hominahama, except it's like, I'm so lazy to focus on Kyle, and I just, there were things happening, it was a shocking moment, it was very shocking, and I was thinking about PK, and I was thinking about classes, and I was thinking about being on time, because I was scheduled to be there between 4.30 and 5. And like Lisa's like say whatever it is say something and it's like I haven't gotten the chance I'm like to read you've been talking for
Starting point is 00:15:33 20 minutes of airtime already just say it's like what is a humminous and she's like I've just got to the chase to read we've moved on at the beach don't you remember? And to read it's like well I didn't say anything that you wouldn't want to be friends with me for again. I just say the corner, hands on head. Oh, she put her hands on head like... Oh! Won't you that kind of departure? And she's like... Departure, darling! This one you departed! I'm still with us, I'm still kicking. When you live, Lisa, when you live.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Lisa, what I'm trying to say is, I'm working for the mob and I know you're working for the police. We're both under, darling, we're not talking about the departed. Oh, yes, Lisa, I'm just so nervous. At least Lisa, guys, guys, all these guys. Come on, can we wrap this up to read the swans all around that I need to feed? Oh, guys, alright. That squirrel is finished with a stardust stomach, it's gonna explode, darling. I think that what I said was, I just feel like after you left, I think I said, you know, how one went a group, I ignore you sometimes, and she's like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I'm like, Dorita's so, I wanna shake her.
Starting point is 00:16:46 I don't know whether she's being shrewd or being just fully annoying because she's essentially preloading her excuse for later. She knows she messed up. So she's trying to run interference, you're gonna hear that I said some shit about you. And I'm now playing the acting as if I'm being totally responsible and coming to you like a good friend, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:07 When you're also doing that thing, you do when you craft your parents car when you're like, yes. Well, I hit the jury, you know, and think, I just wanted to be honest with you before you found out it happened accidentally scraped the thing. So when they go out and they see that you're missing
Starting point is 00:17:22 the entire bumper or their fender, you know, they can't be like well He lied. Yeah, you're like, oh, I didn't I didn't realize it was that bad. Oh, I feel terrible You don't see the difference between a bump on a fender So I mean with that with that dinner Lisa I mean when you left it was so abrupt and so shocking in that moment, but I'm over now But in that moment. But now, bring that moment into the shocking. I'm so little shocked, but I'm over it. I need some glam, rain glam. Shall we open umbrellas?
Starting point is 00:17:50 Oh, glamourous! But I don't think you understand Lisa. What I'm saying is, oh, that's glamourous. Ella, Ella, Ella. So I have to finish that. You know, my favorite musicologist is Rihanna because as we all know, she is the most broken bird of them all. You say her name, the same way the Dereet
Starting point is 00:18:11 pronounces rain coincidentally. Rihanna! It's Rihanna in that side. I just Lisa, I just want to make sure that I've said anything off the back of that moment when I was shocked but not angry, but I'm over it now. But if I said anything, then I've told you and I've been up front there. I've said it. She's like, well, the best part of Doreet is that she talks a lot. And the worst part of Doreet is that she talks a lot. And the mediocre part of Doreet, I'm serenining! Glam, glam, glam! And so this is like, all right, well, are there any other nuggets that you wanted to live up to me because clearly there are? And so Dread's like, well, I mean, I don't want things coming out, that's not straight
Starting point is 00:18:58 from the source. And I know that both Kyle and I had strong things to say. I'm like, oh, okay, here we go. Starting that transition to shift the shifting the blame to Kyle. Very good, very good. Let me look straight here in the sauce. It's not published yet because it's on the next cover of Bella magazine! Listen Lisa, as one cover model of Bella magazine to another, Let me just say, you know, I was afraid that I was ignoring you at Polly House, and I know that in your childhood,
Starting point is 00:19:32 you had no attention because no one liked you, and that's a hard thing for you. And this is like, I had attention. I'm not needy for attention to read. She gets so angry So she's like I don't Do read like I Don't need your attention. Oh, no, sorry Lisa. I'm like I don't need your attention and it's negative
Starting point is 00:19:57 And last year I stood up for you and didn't trash you over and over and it's a big moment And I'm here for you and you're in the other one magazine and I support you being fit Congratulations It's like away it's been lifted off mission almost like that it's been dropped It's so good. It's so good to clear. That's like getting Champagne and a proper champagne glass arriving at 4.30 and learning you are supposed to arrive at 4.30 And Vanderpump and this is why I always love Vanderpump. I don't care what anybody says. It's like you're a stupid cow to eat. Let's walk.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Let's walk in this ridiculous rain here I'm taking your umbrella I want you to stay see what I did there it's a mashup of Riyanna-na! Hello, this is Lisa Rina. We have an ad coming up, so you better listen to it, baby! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident
Starting point is 00:21:36 not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us
Starting point is 00:21:57 as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well, for any of you wondering, where the ma'am in short culotte is? Damn, Brian Moilin graces us with his Ella-Ella presents today with Eric a chain at Shimon and Shushka. How much do I love Brian Moilan? I just love him.
Starting point is 00:22:29 He's so wonderful, so funny, and I just love that he's getting these cameo moments on Real House Westerb havely hills. He's like, oh, Brad, oh, here we are, Shimon and Shushka. I want to feel the pressure. You know, I want to live in so important to me. He's like, you know, I'm writing this the pressure. You know, I want to deliver so important to me. He's like, you know, I'm writing this book, right? Yeah. I know.
Starting point is 00:22:49 That's, um, man, you know, on the one that's doing the typing and you're just calling and leaving me voicemails. I earned my short coup lops for this. So we just get to it. Yeah. So they walk in. It's like almost the same team as Teresa's team because the gay soldier is back.
Starting point is 00:23:04 And Erica's meeting all these publishers. She's I've never felt more unintelligent in my entire life, except for the last time I had coffee with the reeds. And they're like, uh, meet John the art director. And of course, he's like, I'm enough to work today. They're like, oh my God, he brought out the silver. They're like smart people, even though they've dealt with Theresa in the past. You know, it's only so serious that you can take these people. But she's like, I've got my sunglasses on because I'm an amateur. It's been also, I don't want them to say my fear. Like you look like an asshole, okay? You're sitting, the meeting with your sunglasses on and Barbie doll here and you're in a man, you're with a man with short coup lats.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Come on. And then she's like, she's giving like sage advice for how to deal with the situation. She goes, you know, you have to know when you're not the smartest guy in the room. And to read somewhere is like, I don't understand. Say that again. And one of the ladies is like, so Mrs. Jude is. Oh, stop. I'm trying to say is you're at the big boys table now. Oh, yeah, big boys. The same. My first time.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I'm thrilled. It's funny because my new ballad is going gonna be called big boy stable What's a table? That's a little higher than standard because it's got to fit the knees of all the big boys I don't even have to I just need a book to Who wants a hot top I want a hot top Give me a stool so she's like well we need an update on the book and Brian goes well I sent a chapter of madlibs for Eric and a fill out so just waiting for that to come back so like so I did just get something in here so like let's see let's see what she wrote. Okay, growing up my life was like living in a raisinette and my mother was always very plump and I was always a
Starting point is 00:25:15 fan of tenising. Oh okay. I mean I've been working for the pop-up. That's really hard to improvise a mad lad by the way. Are you okay over there? One collapse. Oh no, Ronnie is choking on the air. Ronnie, are you okay? That was so funny I had to mute my microphone. Are you okay Ronnie? I had to mute my microphone. Are you okay Ronnie? Ronnie. Yeah, I'm living in the apartment. No, just kidding. Oh my god. Funny. What's? You're sounding like Ziggy Flicker over there.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Come back to the light. Ronnie, come back to us. Come back. That's what I get for having a comeback. A mute button now. I just can start laughing that hard and just like press mute. Oh darling Darling get me a water front and center water glam glam We have a broken heart and shit. That was so funny. Well then I got a palm of gravity Lord The episode of Ronnie chokes on the air. Oh, I'm afraid this is time to die just laughing my ass off doing his stupid show.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Like he died with real house laughs. Doing what he loves the most. Not giving a fuck. Oh, that's me. Oh, um, I once, like, like, like two months ago, I almost drowned in orange juice by accident because I was ch drowned in orange juice by accident because I was chucking orange juice. I think I talked about this in the podcast, but I was
Starting point is 00:26:49 chucking orange juice. And then like something, I like had like a cough moment or whatever where I like inhaled. So instead of swallowing the orange juice, I started to like inhale and I can't inhale. Like it's like my lungs feel the orange juice. And you were waterboarding yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:01 But it was like, for a moment, I couldn't breathe. I was like, it was like, it was like a real choke. It wasn't like, oh, so a moment I couldn't breathe. I was like, it was like a real choke. It wasn't like, oh, it went down the wrong pipe. It was like, oh my God. I can't breathe. Nothing's coming in or out. And I had to like force this guttural cough out. And it was terrifying.
Starting point is 00:27:17 It was like three seconds of pure panic. And that's basically what just happened. I was like, oh my God, what if I die like this? I cannot die in an ericocene. Oh my God. No, let's go to let's go to do it. No, we have to finish because that shit was hilarious and then to go. So where are you at? And he's like, she goes, well, I told them some stuff. You know, about a bomb and oh, my god, I felt lovely. I'm like, so basically what you talked on the phone or what you talked about in that
Starting point is 00:27:45 one scene that you did. Have you done anything at all? Anything. Well, I, because we know and love Brian, I am not going to disparage his book because I know he's going to do a wonderful job with Erica's biography. Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not testing him. I'm just saying Erica. Like Erica's sitting there as a Barbie doll with sunglasses on
Starting point is 00:28:06 She's like we talked about the mom like you did that on the show and then lasted five minutes Are you even calling Brian back at this point? Well, excuse me Anyway, so we now go it's now it's like everyone's getting ready to go out at night and we see Doreet with her glam squad and she's like Guys, it's going to be a big night tonight and both these girls go inside and free. Thank you. Thanks guys.
Starting point is 00:28:34 It feels like brum! Oh, there's a fat guy to be nice to me. You know, it's sort of scary because having a cover, it's like you look at it 20, I want to show people 20 years from now be like this is what I looked like I used to look cute or Bubbly it might be one of those moments where I look back 20 years from and say what was I thinking? I'm like girl. You'll be thinking that by March weren't you married to pk five years ago? Do you remember the melted gold you wore in the season finale last season on your head?
Starting point is 00:29:04 ago. Do you remember the melted gold you wore in the season finale last season? On your head. Don't you remember the can of white beans you just poured over half cooked rice and called it a Moroccan dish? Don't you remember the white beans you poured onto some rubber cement on a dress and called it sequence? Totally, she's so obnoxious and these girls obviously hate her guts. And she she's like guess what girls? I'm the guest a honor because I'm on the cover of Bella magazine I need to have fashion top three ooze and from me Okay, and then they put a beret in her hair and she goes to a look and rauginess It's a beret
Starting point is 00:29:41 I'm so excited for my cover of Vogue magazine. I'm sorry, I think I mispronounced Vogue. Bella. It's like, no, don't try to say your own Vogue. I've got a bit of a bellyache. I wonder if it's nerves. What can I be nervous about? I'm like, shut up Doreet.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Stop fishing for people to say, oh, because you're going to be on like, you're going to have a party all for you Doreet. I guess it's because I'm without PK. Okay. I'm going to, let's call PK. Okay, I'm gonna let's call PK and he's like, all right. Well, hello there. Hi babe. Hi babe, don't worry. We've got five senior citizens and my test rabbits caring about the girls. What about Jacob? Oh, the kids in general. He's fine. I was like, show this up. Be proud. You own this. I'm like, you own this. First is your Baba. Now you're stealing it. No, no PK. I refuse. We're rocking
Starting point is 00:30:33 dish. So Rinna is getting her makeup done. And I think that her makeup people probably want to kill her too. Because she's just yammering on about nothing to you she's like look I'm kidding make up it's crazy I have two girls just schedules we shop for chock cheese and they deliver everything into your which is supposed to be so easy but then they send them to the delivery guy once robbed they took everything to like can we can you just close your eyes please? Yeah, because you just stay still. Keeps laughing for a second because we're creating Charlie Brown zig-zag on your mouth right now. I may call the Lila.
Starting point is 00:31:15 I'm not about to tell Jingman how much you're ready to wear. I'm ready to call. Get it. They're like the maker people are like ready just to quit and outside in the hallway, you can just see people with the priv people just lurking there like soon. Soon it'll be us. She will have no one left.
Starting point is 00:31:32 It'll be us. I feel great that I'm living in a gangy fest and say hello to my little friend, Cardito's way world. Raw, thumbs up baby. Thumbs up, my daughter's gonna die. So then Teddy is in here makeup. She's like let's call Edwin like I'm Teddy I'm Teddy. He's like I know Teddy Just keep it myself accountable. That's my name, you know, don't thank God
Starting point is 00:32:00 Guess who's there with you and she goes oh my god so and so and so and so and so and thank God for them. Okay. Because like I had to ask the makeup lady how to put on eyelashes. I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. I get that she's really, really going for it. But Teddy, you're just making yourself sound like a fucking moron at this point. I am starting to like Teddy more. I'm going to admit that. I don't love Teddy, but I am starting to like Teddy more. I'm going to admit that I don't love Teddy But I am starting to like her. She's like I'm so normal. I brought to you stylus with me. What the fuck are you talking about Teddy? Meanwhile Erica's got her crew going and Mike is like okay We got if she was gonna hear make up them and she's like don't touch me don't touch me that hurt me when you touch me Some people just don't like to be touched. Wait a minute No, Teddy likes she likes the touch. She was sad because she was not allowed to be touched. Oh, it was Erica
Starting point is 00:32:53 He doesn't like the death. Yeah, no, yeah, no, sorry I think that Teddy is like Teddy like she cries with happiness every time a cotton commercial comes on She's like the touch the feel of cotton. It's so real It's so real. It's a fabric of my life. I'm Teddy. I have bought every single era in level CD because of that commercial. My dad is so mad. I don't eat. I don't eat. I love this cotton candy.
Starting point is 00:33:17 I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. So over in Eric's room. We're so stupid. We are so stupid. We are officially so stupid, making it like a fan of cotton. And then we are continuing with the dumbest ongoing joke of all time. I'm Teddy. I'm almost tied in this. Okay. Maybe I'm just Ronnie's ghost. Who even knows if I'm here? I don't know. Would I know the difference? We'll see over again. Erica's
Starting point is 00:33:42 room with all of her gaze.. She's like, oh yeah baby No, I'm a baby no hooker. Mike is like, yes, the baby dog hookers. Yes, baby dog a batch baby dog. Goot. She's everything. Dog. Goot. Yeah, even Eric left it that even Even Erica was like, yeah, no. You know, she's like, she couldn't contain herself. Then, so Fanderpump comes over to Kyle's room who's getting done by her own stylists. And kind of like, yes, and she's, what kind of balky yes is that? I mean, I'm just like, sorry, geez, come in. She goes, I've ordered ordered tea would you like some ladies
Starting point is 00:34:26 Attending to kios every need and whim like it's nice that someone's nice to these make up people you know Did I say it right? I've ordered tea to be brought to the room. No, at least you're supposed to say I'm cure to spill the tea. Oh Who would do that? I Wouldn't want you to have to clean it up little darlings. I respect you too much. Alright, let's talk about really important things. The green tea, calamity. What's the flavor of the nava? I was like, I met, I met with the reatent Eddy, she was like, well, I met with the reat as well. We had a glamorous walk, we saw squarely nut. I had clamor in the rain, rain, glamoured me, or denied glamour to rain. I don't know. Anyway, Doreet mentioned
Starting point is 00:35:11 that she said negative things about mid-Bolly House, which I'm really sick of giving free advertising to thank you. I mean, the way she just talks and talks and talks, it's like she's the only girl in the world. Rihanna. I said, Doreet, are you sir? Doreet and I found love in a lonely place. If you will. Is the bad burning Doreet? Is the bad burning? I could use an M and M telling. Diamonds!
Starting point is 00:35:50 Diamonds! Do you eat does shine bright like a diamond? And by shining bright, I mean she's dull as a rock! Get it? It wasn't really a joke, I part as well, that tea. Listen, will I know we're not talking about any of my restaurants, so I might as well work from Ho-O-O-O-O-O-O-M When you work from Ho-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O That's what this experience is like. Rear. No. Alright, we have to brush up on your rean. She's a wonderful artist. Not the winehouse version. Alright, I guess it's time for this conversation to die, darling. So we know what I said to Rita.
Starting point is 00:36:33 I said, bitch, better have my money. She said, well, it wasn't that bad, really. You know, she said, my parents didn't give me attention. It's a trial to trial. A parent blah blah blah blah blah. And cargo she was lying. She felt the need to share private things Lisa. And to be honest, that might it. How we were pissed. But then she repeated things. She said in confidence, like insecure, needy, a lot of work types of things. And then it was like, ooh, so many things I'm trying to get mad at one
Starting point is 00:37:05 oh god god all my motions cannot escape this terry cloth robe so terry cloth I think it's a terry class so um yeah so basically Kyle first of all the underlying thing here is that Kyle is still mad that to read through her under the bus regarding the whole Erica Beach House thing. So she's already hurt. And now Lisa is like, what my feelings are her to am I really insecure? I don't think so. Did you notice I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but I have to point this out because it's
Starting point is 00:37:38 the kind of thing you love me for. Did you notice that Kyle brought this back to her season one fight? You're insecure without phrasier. That was the key word in Kyle's number one fight, which everybody, she insisted was a lie and she really didn't say it. But Camille was like, you said I'm insecure with that Frazier. And now Kyle is bringing it all the way back in season whatever to use against Lisa and say, well, she said you were insecure. And she's like, insecure. Why does that word royal up my soul? I don't understand. Who am I, Esa Ray? Get it? You know what? I'm sorry. I think I feel like I just like totally stomped on your joke. It wasn't even a joke. It was just I stomped on you first,
Starting point is 00:38:25 but I was just pointing out that it's just the keyword insecure brought back from season one. It's like Kyle can't get a reaction out of Lisa Vanderpump. And so she's like insecure. She's like, well, it was like, it was the first of many parallels to the fateful New York trip in season one, but we'll get to that when it gets to the get into.
Starting point is 00:38:44 So anyway, so Kyle, Kyle's like, to that when it gets to the get into so Anyway, so Kyle Kyle's like I feel like I need to say something I need to say something and I thought Lisa said Tonight tonight was I wrong? What did she say not tonight? No, I thought she said Kyle said she has to do say something to wait. Hold on and secure that or it's my feelings. Are we sure we know it's the truth, Kyle? I've been more than kind to a Ken and I I love her. And Carl's like, um, to a whole table,
Starting point is 00:39:11 it's a pattern now. I'm going to say something. Yes, and Vanderpump said tonight. To get by the same. Yeah, tonight tonight tonight. There's something about tonight. I don't remember because I don't live on the west side. Where are we? What are these stories from Santa Monica? I don't care about the west side
Starting point is 00:39:32 So the girls are now in the party bus headed to wherever this party dinner whatever and I was like wow everyone really brought their A game and these guys good job But good job everyone Erica go up. I was a savage shoe starch. It was intimidating Just people out the walls and then it reputtened and Vanderpring goes and now you My little Erica chain chain and she's like, well, I'm not going to win it. Whatever it's called. It treats because a Pulitzer. So how does Doreet know that?
Starting point is 00:40:10 That was like the biggest shock of this episode. I almost fell down. Yeah, that was, it's weird when Doreet knows things. So now we get to know you won't win a Pulitzer in Erica. Because, oh, yeah, I do. I'm not getting mad. She could have chosen so many better examples, like anything, anything. So now they get to the party, the Bella party, and this is the first time I feel like I noticed a retail outfit, which is at first I was like, wow, she looks like she's dressed
Starting point is 00:40:41 like late-era Madonna, you know, with sort of like a suit thing with a roughly tie, like a crevote. But then I realized she's just dressing like Lisa Vanderbump. That's how Lisa dresses on Vanderbump rules. And it blazes her with a pirate shirt underneath and ruffles that sneak out. I love that. That's true, actually. I didn't notice that. But I love when they were interviewing her on the red carpet and they were all way below
Starting point is 00:41:04 her. They had her on some kind of like stage or something. Yeah, so she had to hunch over and be like Well, hello, it's me, Dari. Are they supposed to be taking your picture right now because this should is hilarious. I know it was like Hi, this is Cammy Carlisle from Highlights Magazine. So what does it mean for you to be here? Well, Cammy, thank you so much for your contributions to journalism in this era of fake news. It means a lot. If I'm on the cover and spelling your name wrong, Cortanae. Please. Hi, this is Bobby from 321 Contact Magazine. What did you think about your cover photo? Well, to be honest, at first I thought they were doing a terrible job, but then I saw
Starting point is 00:41:54 it's like, it's quite lovely, and I just wish PK could be here. Isn't that certain? 321 Contact. I love what you do for my eyes. It's unimaginable. It's unimaginable to be thrilling a party when you're on the cover of the eyes. It's unimaginable. It's unimaginable to be thrown apart when you're on the cover of the magazine. It's my first time and it's nerve-wracking.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Because one, two, three, go! Step, step, red, step! Rover, red, rover! Let's do it! Come over! It's nerve-wracking. I'm the center of attention. It never happens. Yes, question from WF Magazine.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Yes. No, I don't know anything about iguanas. No, I'm sorry. I will take that question from WF Magazine. Why would you name yourself that? What kind of outfit is this? I'm going to thrash the link. That's sensible.
Starting point is 00:42:42 You didn't get what WF magazine when you were a little kid Ronnie World by life renovation no I took off the fucking I jerk off this national geographic No, I sped him to go that way And international male like a normal homosexual sir exactly So they go into the party and mark Bauer is there the designer and we're just like Mark Bauer. Hi. Hello. How are you? And Camilla goes oh, we go way back and she goes so do we. He loved me and dressed in 97. I was so blown away. So excited. I need to what's crazy. I remember I said I'm gonna stop opera. He could be at rest and he said oh yes. It was amazing. It was amazing. So upsetting. Yeah. I know. I like that bit of one-upsmanship by Rena. Grimio's like wow. Well, I didn't even know Frazier then yet, but I would love to continue to sentence.
Starting point is 00:43:48 I'll just keep my mouth open and not a lot. I've known Mark Bowers since 1993. I was dancing in Club MTV and I was like, I need a fatty pack. And he's like, I'll make you a fatty pack. Yeah, and he did. It was so nice of him Upsetting So Kyle sits down with Erica and it's like listen I want to talk about the BHS situation because I didn't really get a chance to talk to you about it
Starting point is 00:44:15 And like I just want to clear the error because you know to remake it sound like I was making a whole big deal about it That I was like enraged but it was like not a thing and I wasn't the whole big deal about it that I was like enraged, but it was like not a thing. And I wasn't the only one talking about it, but it wasn't a thing anyway. So like, I don't want you to get that impression about it. And Erica's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, yellow back red lines. Oh, I care about you too, Kyle. Okay, it's way out of proportion.
Starting point is 00:44:38 I was embarrassed to tell a shut up. And I was like, what the story was, you spearheaded it. And I know you, Mike Erica. And Kyle's like, well, I just had to say something Erica goes, what's he hear it? I didn't understand it. My don't want to talk about it again. I got nothing for love you now. Everybody Shut the fuck up. Yeah, the moment the Erica ever says I don't want to talk about it again means it's gonna come up about 10 more Times before the next commercial break. Yeah, means they're gonna rent a junk boat so she can pretend cry when tear on the front of it for the rest of the season. You don't know, I keep some you up late at night.
Starting point is 00:45:11 It's Brian Moilin, Texan B saying, could I get a little more information please? And I'm like, I gotta go to sleep Brian. What will find? Make something else up. What will find, Brad? What will find? something else up. Well, well, fine, Brad. Well, well, fine. So, um, so now Lisa, I think it's, Lisa Vanderpump is talking to Teddy about what to read, I think she's just trying to get more information from Teddy and Teddy is sort of like filling in all the details.
Starting point is 00:45:34 She's like, yeah, um, like, you know, to read, said this and that or whatever. She's just telling Lisa everything that, uhoreet said at that dinner the other night. Yeah, she's like, well, I don't think she's malicious, but I'm Teddy, you know, and like your friends with Doreet and Carl's not gonna exaggerate, but Clotton is the fabric of our lives, you know. And then she tells us she's like, it's gonna bite Doreet in the ass, okay? It's just what happens, okay? Because Doreet only cares about Doreet, okay? So it cuts back and she's like, she's not malicious. She just likes to put on a show when she tells a story
Starting point is 00:46:09 and random pumps like, a story, maybe. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do until it was realized he had a gimp. It's like snap out of it with sir. I bet she goes into mouth mode. Hello NPR, let me tell you a story about how it can be horse, spoiler. So then the women start to read. Juleian sea bass isn't just a Juleian sea bass. It is a story to tell your customer. Patagonian toothfish, are you intrigued? So the women start to relocate to
Starting point is 00:46:49 out of the party to a restaurant and to be like, guys, I'm on cloud nine right now. Cloud nine. Actually, she's on cloud nine. Cloud nine. Guys, I don't, I feel like in the moment that I got on this cloud, it was very shocking, but I'm over it shocking and I'm sorry. I thought I could have sworn that I had a reservation to be on cloud eight But I'm worried about traffic getting to cloud nine guys That's only one scene cloud nine. I want it to be front in center. I've accomplished something I want it to be front in Sinta. I've accomplished something.
Starting point is 00:47:24 The magazine. And so it looks like it's going to be a fun night because they leave the thing and Kyle and Vanderpomper, you know, under one shawl getting wet anyway and laughing and Kyle's like, you're an asshole. We just left everyone behind and then, you know, it looks like it's really fun. And then Erica, of course, has some gay immediately walk up to her to cover her. Oh, thank you very much. How the sexual person. She liked tiptoes very slowly to the car as the gay gets so. It's like you are too sweet. So real gentleman, baccalo, and she's like, she's about to be like, they actually they all got to the bus in like, like, it's the way
Starting point is 00:48:02 they all got the bus revealed aspects of their character because then Rina asked like a random stranger and she was like, hi, hi, can I borrow your umbrella? It's raining. I love you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. And you know what else? Thank you, Rain.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Thank you. And Teddy. And Teddy's like, I'm not a wicked witch. I mean, I'm not a melt. Oh. I think I'm male, twirls. She's like, well, I love the rain. Oh, it's like I'm a tongue.
Starting point is 00:48:33 It's like, I just want to kiss the rain. What? Ow. What? How does that taste funny? Maw. You know what my favorite song is? Pepper in. Pepper in. Maw. You know what my favorite song is? Pepper and pepper and...
Starting point is 00:48:46 Maw. Oh my god! Purple! That's the first rest that Mark Barrow gave me before you ever met you! I'm sorry, because he was like, I'll make you something purple. And don't tell anyone else I'm giving you something purple before someone else. So he gave me a purple, purple-pap shoes. Maw.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I love the rain. She's twirling my Canadian. I love the every episode Camille is either twirling or tripping over beach sand Some tragic aspect of Camille tried to be happy I Can't Keep falling on my forgot what I was talking about so they get to a restaurant and then they're like, I'm like, really? Look, it's a rat.
Starting point is 00:49:31 A golden rat. And then Eric is like, Oh, it's laugh, it's laughable. I'm laughing like I'm it. So they sit down and Teddy is a little exposed. Eric is like, Hey, Teddy, I can see the pus. You're not my one of the real just whatever. I'm just like, that's how you do it.
Starting point is 00:49:52 That's a girlfriend being a good girlfriend. Six of all, have a trouble. Then all you know. The, the, the, the, pussy. And Dorees just looking like, is she talking to me? Something... I can't clear it up here on Clouds 9. I'm on the cover of Cloud 9 magazine girls.
Starting point is 00:50:13 You know, I'd listen to what Herica says. She holds a lot of cloud. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a big surprise. Here on Cloud 9 with me is boy George like a no This isn't just mode it's a cloud. I just scooped Mario off of the racetrack I'm sorry I am like not letting any scene go without doing like a million tangents. I apologize. I apologize. I apologize I apologize. I apologize. I apologize. Just call myself down because my watch is going. You're dying.
Starting point is 00:50:50 My quote, like, you're about to die. To quote Lisa Rina as she says in this very moment, I'm not responsible for what comes out of my mouth after this drink. This is my favorite Rina. She goes, This is my favorite Rina. She goes, you guys know I never drink ever. Let's get drunk. Like you never drink What fucking soda you think you're on lady. Yeah, what would you throw down when you yelled at Kim Richards and answer to Remember when I threw that avian bubble and Amsterdam Well My favorite part about Rina getting busy is that she just starts to repeat whatever she's like a different take on Camille she just repeats everything but in a lot of ways
Starting point is 00:51:32 someone's like let's just get drunk. Yes, let's get drunk and cause like I'm here to have fun. Let's have fun. Does it do you want to order something? Let's order something Kyle and Dreeke goes with so much for a fun not an ordering something Okay, I was like I just wanted to say congratulations If I didn't like you I wouldn't say anything Dreeke, okay, but why was I single about it to be chous and then they show the clip? Yeah, cuz we need to see it again, and she's like, but you did make it a big deal. There was a lot to conversation call. And you have very outspoken. You, you, you were so outspoken. So cause like, well, now I feel fucked over. I feel fucked over. And when it's like, I speak in fucking, I need to go to bathroom, not to fuck, but to pee.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I'm drunk. I mean, her cuz like, hey guys, guess what? I just ordered some fucks and then sent them back cuz I don't give a fuck, I don't wanna, I don't care, I don't wanna fuck. Yeah, look at that. She's like, please, don't be longer than five seconds, Lisa Rina. And she's like, oh, I'm pretty drunk. Hi, I'm too cocked. I guess this ladies are missing out on RinaFon!
Starting point is 00:52:47 This is a good stuff, baby. It's like a hairy hamlin' pie, and human form, baby. Hustle, don't hustle the hustler, the bathroom. Drunk. So easy here. So easy here in New York City. You're gonna get drunk. You go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:53:04 So easy. So in Kyle does her typical Kyle like cool girl saying, which it's always made me crazy about Kyle. Now I have to say, the past couple of years, I've actually really liked Kyle and I went from loving her a season lend a hating her and then now I'm back to liking her and I'm even liking this really immature Kyle. I love the immature art Kyle. Yeah, I get so fatty and she's like, okay,
Starting point is 00:53:26 three, just say it. Who would you say are you two top here or your top two here? And she's like, well, he's a vendor, boom. And Kyle, the child, she's like, yeah, exactly. So why would you go to the heart to the first trend? Her and she is vendor, from like, why is Kyle doing this now? When I said tonight, I meant it the better magazine fifth anniversary party. Not now.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Yeah, I was confused at least I was saying that. Like if do it speak night, I'm like, first of all, Doritos Big Night is a Super Bowl. Second of all, you were the one who said tonight, you said tonight. Do it tonight. So now- I just meant because we were on the west side and I love the story of tonight, tonight. Do it tonight. So now- I just met because we were on the west side and I love the story of tonight, tonight. Mumbo! So this is where we start to do a flashback to season one because now Kyle is not mad
Starting point is 00:54:18 at Duret. Now she's getting mad at Lisa for not speaking up and being mad at Duret. So we are getting a flashback to Kyle basically saying to Camille, you're such a fucking liar Camille and then turning to Kim to be like, can you back me up and come say, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah. So this is like considers it friendship. Okay. Here's the thing that's so fucked up about this a the biggest fucked up thing is that I'm even about to go in this depth. It's it's about it. Do it. I do it. Lisa Vanderpump proves her friendship on the show by going to bat for her friends no matter what. She will stand up against them to that stupid lady last year, whatever her name was when she's like, I would break your legs if you come from
Starting point is 00:54:59 my go Kyle or whatever. She will stand up for people when they're completely wrong just because that's allegiance, right? So Kyle knows that. And Kyle's mad at least isn't supposedly not showing her allegiance. And now she's going to try and really fuck up Vanderpump by trying to force her to show who her allegiance really belongs to by who she stands up for over a fight that she doesn't even understand or give a fuck about. Well, the way Kyle says that is that Kyle feels like she's held to a different standard with Lisa. And this is like her deep issue, which is that if Kyle had said these things about Lisa behind her back, then Lisa would have iced her out and would have just made her life hell.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I would have been like a two or three year thing. But to recon say it and Lisa doesn't get mad. She's just such a sister. Well, yes, I think that your analysis is correct. That's what I was going to tell Kyle. I know I'm not arguing with you. I'm arguing with Kyle because Kyle, when she said shit about Lisa Vanderpump, it was mean horrible shit. And she accused Vanderpump of going to like the blogs and tabling about Mauricio's supposed to fear. Like she was saying way harsh.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Well, A and B, when Vanderpump sees us, she will make the repaid for the next seven years. She will. I mean, the work, but to be fair, I mean, Lisa Vanderpump really, really, you know,
Starting point is 00:56:14 held a grudge about Kyle making that stupid Bobby Fisher remark in the season one reunion. And like, Kyle really had to dig herself out of a hole for that for a long time, you know, and that whole like tabloid issue. That's a hole for that for a long time. And that whole tabloid issue. That's true, but that was a bigger deal. I mean, when you say that, it's saying you're being manipulative,
Starting point is 00:56:31 and our whole friendship is you trying to make moves against other people. That's way meaner than Dorit saying, well, Lisa gets jealous. Yeah. Kyle's trying to equate two things that don't make any sense. It's like, the whole thing is better than that. You in the past, but you were a nasty fucking bitch behind her back And she found out Doree wasn't really nasty. She was repeating stuff She's already said even though she's a dumb bubble head Doree, you know, yeah
Starting point is 00:56:55 I think ultimately Kyle just wanted credit for basically outing Doree for talking shit about Vanderpump and that Vanderpump just didn't seem to be phased by it. And then that's just like really frustrating. Like she's basically fighting for Vanderpump's ring. And Vanderpump's not giving it to her. And she's like, huh? Huh? Well, she knows she's not going to you because she's got her in a corner.
Starting point is 00:57:16 It's like she's, she knows that she's not gonna just turn against her friend. Cause one is Vanderpump ever done that in a fight. Just been like, and suddenly I'm against a reat now publicly. Like she's not gonna do that. Well, she's also, fight. Just been like, and suddenly, I'm against a reate now publicly. Like she's not going to do that. Well, she's also, she's like, steamy, or, you know, well, he says also just sitting and taking it all in,
Starting point is 00:57:31 she's just listening, which is actually the, what most normal people will do, just like listen and take in all the information to what people are saying. She doesn't even know what this fight is about. She's like, what did she supposedly say that I was, that I got jealous or I didn't pay enough attention to her? I did say all those things. I'm confused about what I'm supposed to be mad about. She's like, what did she supposedly say that I was that I got jealous or I didn't pay enough attention to her? I did say all those things. I'm confused about what I'm supposed to be mad about. So Teddy starts to, Teddy is like again like the witness for the dinner table. She's
Starting point is 00:57:54 saying all the stuff that Duretse of the dinner. And so for like literally the 12th time this episode, we see Duret at the dinner table again saying, I mean, I may have said that she's jealous, I may have said, I don't, I don't really remember. You know, so we see that clip so many times. And so Doreet's like, all right, now you're truly making, you're just making stuff up now. I'm but Erica backs up Teddy. So Lisa, for the first time, starts to get a little mad.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Yeah. And then she's like, nothing that D Dorit explained to me in the rain gland land rain park implied the severity of these statements don't don't don't But now she's getting paranoid over nothing. It's like literally the dumbest thing And then you've got Dorit waving her hands like she's doing wings like she's got Well she's acting like she goes well now you're making the mountain out of the boo hill And I can assure you guys that this mountain cannot reach clap nine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:49 But so meanwhile, me, while Rina is just like drunk and she's just like leaning back and like, Erica, I love you. I love you. You put on your makeup. You put on your makeup. I'm drunk. Did you notice when Rina came back to the couch? She couldn't get in. So she just like slid back into the couch and like kind of rolls over just laughs.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Yeah, she was flopping around over there. And then Tarekas. Tadek, first you take down your tune. Tadek, down your tune. Tadek, down your tune. Tadek. And then Erica goes, na-na, Dorek, don't run away with theary, don't run away with the story. Don't run away with the story. What were you watching? Newsies like what the fuck are any of you even talking about right now? I went to Simon and Shuster and now I know things about running away with the story. And you don't want to do that. The plot pickens, if you know what I'm saying, that's a callback.
Starting point is 00:59:39 So back to the back, greetings to him. Whatever. I don't come a fuck. So maybe I will. Will. Maybe I win, will a pool, it's a, so to be like, I love one of your accountability clouds today. And Teddy's like, Oh, yeah, bring my career into it. All you want, honey, okay, this my career, all you want.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I was like, Okay, you're all, you're all too much. Right. And by the way, there could be nothing more obvious than to read saying that she's not an accountability client because if there's anyone who's not accountable, it's to read. As she says, they're saying when they're saying, no, you said that at least if Vanderpump was jealous, I say, no, I'm afraid you're making it up girls. I never said that. I don't know what this is coming from. It's like, okay, come on. Miss short-term memory strikes again.
Starting point is 01:00:26 So Rina's like, Rina is not drunk. She's like, you know what? We need it. We need a minute. We need a minute. Camille, what's the issue? What's the issue? What's going on? What's, what's the issue? What's happening? What's going on? What's, hey, babies, babies, what's what's going on here? I don't, I don't, baby. She's, she's slurring. She's like, why are we going around and around? Bibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibbibb things were said about her and Lisa Vanderpump that shouldn't have been said and Kyle's just saying how she feels all totally fucked over and she's like I can't
Starting point is 01:01:10 understand this rage for the life of me not for the life of me I'm like oh my god Dory I just want to shake you but also hug you for making this so hilariously petty. This was so good and Kyle sobbing in her cuz like step up that bad delete and Kyle's like no no no I'm trying to stand up for band about me and then Renna goes you know what We are mothers Camille has a big show with her daughter tomorrow. Let's go Camille. We have children Yeah, I don't know I don't know so now, Erica seems drunk at this point because she's trying to play a peacemaker, release a van a pomp and Kyle and Doree and
Starting point is 01:01:49 base that she's trying to get in there and then they're all standing talking and cause like, listen, if you release a, wouldn't you feel fucked over right now and Erica's like, may I redirect? What exactly are you talking about right now? Are you taking redirects like Mr. Tom Gerardi what a handsome mother fucker. She's a god damn it Lisa Vanderbilt. I was like I thought we were fine. She's like I don't give a shit. Oh, but I'll hear about you and then the poops, whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:18 No. Kinda like honest question. If you release her or to read would you feel fucked over? She's oh yeah, that's what you just said She's but I like that she's like let me really act What are we talking about? You're drunk. You're drunk right now. Didn't her eat passes them and then makes a you turn to go up to the stairs Yes, she's like
Starting point is 01:02:48 Yes, she's like, God, I am so hit by what Kyle has done tonight on my night on the cover of Bella magazine two years after Lisa van der Pomp was on the cover of Bella magazine. So I dress like her. And then, uh, Teddy goes, well, you have to think about it. Like, would you feel fucked over and Erica goes, well, this is why I hang out with Gays. And she says, well, you avoided that question. October and Erica goes well, this is why hang out with gays and she is will you have ordered that question? And she goes yes, yes That's gonna fuck the bed I can't take it anymore. Yeah, that was a funny moment though And that's probably gonna become a gift when when Erica jangles this is what I got with gays because then she's sort of like does a fast pivot and just like walks away Like please your hair and just walks away. You know that's accountability.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Accountability Accountability Accountability So now I'm I'm ill So now Lisa Vanderpom is like Wait a second. I have a dog in this race. Oh, wasn't this race. I'm drunk. I have a hostess race And it's a beautiful loss. I mean, I can't write it as well as Teddy can But anyway, I don't feel good that anyone is talking shit about me. I'm the real victim here.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Well, you're trying to make her fight. It's so ridiculous. She's like, Jason, why don't you care? I don't know what to care about. And she's like, yeah, my nut is ruined. So they keep going going. And she's like, well, I'm the one who should be mad. Everybody's talking about me now. I'm supposed to be the one. And then who's the one telling her we need you to feel something Lisa. Feel something and she's like, I'm trying to cry. I don't remember that. It was probably Teddy.
Starting point is 01:04:18 She's the one who was. Oh, it's Teddy. She's like, don't she's like, I'm leaving. And Teddy's like, no Lisa, don't leave. I need you to be here with her and her to be here with you. And she's like, but I've already told her, I love her. She's like, but you need to tell her in a different way. She's like, no, Teddy.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Teddy is like, this is my moment. All my accountability training is led to this moment. Oh my God, you've been with her. You've been with her. You guys are friends. You guys all get out. Different approach. Oh my God, it's all happening.
Starting point is 01:04:42 I was dying when Teddy goes, but we need to see some emotion from you Lisa and she goes Yeah, you're not you're just making sounds like a lamb So Doriko's I'm going in a cab and Kyle goes, A cab? Why? It's like the horror. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- I'm gonna if Dread's going to cap I'm going with her and cause like what Take a horrible horrible like twist it's in an Edward Albu play She's taking the cab to they're all taking the cab
Starting point is 01:05:42 Please just wally proud the rate don't bring it Cat don't bring it down to calves Don't really happen to this. She's like why are you making me do this, Erika? I don't want to conversation in a pretty bad I want to feel bad in a sticky little Bezant driven yellow thing How many toes off to tell you just cuz your mad doesn't mean you can get into a cab and drive off to tune town It's not a real place Gonna like leave me the fuck alone. You're on loyal Which is not a word and Vanderpump's like I'm not a loyal no one is because it's not English I just don't want to read to be upset
Starting point is 01:06:19 But I don't want clown to be upset. What do I do? Pain strains automobiles, help me, peasant transportation, help me. I know, I'll get a handsome cab because it's driven by a horse. So Lisa's like, you have a limping horse. I think you take her some. Where's Ariana?
Starting point is 01:06:39 Ariana, bring your horse over here. So she's like, she's basically saying how, Lisa says some relationship with the reed, she proceeds basically any gossip in the group and that's like she's basically saying how Lisa says her relationship but to read supersedes basically any gossip in the group and that's why she's gonna go in the cap with her. So now Kyle starts to stomp off. She's like I'm leaving. I'm gonna go by myself. So she just stumps off onto the party bus. Has a total tantrum and it's like such an immature petty moment and yet I felt like I had never felt so close to Kyle as that moment because I know I would I would that's what I want to have those tantrums so many times and like I I miss
Starting point is 01:07:11 being young enough to have a tantrum and it's what people would expect of me and like now I'm too old to have a proper tantrum and like the fact that she can still have a tantrum. They're all older than us they're having them and Dorit's like oh cows mad because Lisa didn't want me to be a learn. It's a weird thing to be mad at that. Why would she want me to be a learn? Yeah, that's I love that. That's what she turns it into. Like, why would you want me to be a learn like no, this is where,
Starting point is 01:07:40 you know, this is where Kyle is crying on the hotel couch or whatever. And well, she's on the, well, they're on the bus. is crying on the hotel couch or whatever and well she's on the well they're on the bus They're on the bus. Oh my god. This is all like the same thing to me because it's just Kyle sobbing I can clear up I do love you and I do appreciate you because well because basically what happens is that Erica grabs to read and say no You have to go on the party bus just be the bigger woman. I got deep breaths suck it up swallow your pride. Get out of the bus. Get out of the bus She's like forced everyone to then Kyle's crying at least Savannah pompist like she just Lisa has this weird Like faux sob. What was she like?
Starting point is 01:08:15 Cole I don't want you to cry. I don't want you to cry Call but inside she's like oh yes She's what broken they never before the most broken he bit of all time Do you broken births and one mother bed and cars like leave me alone Leave me alone To read say call appreciate me. I do love you. I do appreciate you look at me hugging you Just like I never got from my mother wait
Starting point is 01:08:46 Wait a minute, yes, I did reach out up You're my new panda now and reads like Kyle Why are you trying to divide Lisa and I why Kyle why and Teddy's like my feelings are hurt too Do you get Teddy this isn't about you? about you. I don't love you, Kyle. I don't want you to cry. Stop. This is just fucking ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:09:11 So finally, Vanderpump is doing everything Kyle leads, but Kyle is just so worked up that she's not going to listen to any of it. She's just kind of on a tantrum. So that's when Vanderpump is like, fun, then I'm leaving. Well, he's like, we need a motion. And that's when she's like, look at me. I'm crying. No, Ted, he's like, we need a motion. And that's when she's like, look at me. I'm crying. No, no, that was all before this was all on the you this is this is when I don't know actually you could be right but either way I think it all happened 20 times. Well, on the then she walks away and Ted, he's like
Starting point is 01:09:38 No, she holds members. She grabs Kyle. She's like, I do love you guys. Yeah, I'm kind of like, let go of me. Kyle goes, energy in the wrong direction. She goes, but I love you, Kyle. It's a show hit me. I can't breathe. And Kyle goes, sitting in your chair Lisa, you're full of shit in America goes, no, no, no, no. She's like, you can't unsee those things.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Be careful. It's like you crossed the lines and go spas. No, Kyle, no, don't say it don't say I read the elevator yet we're No, I've already recapped it I recapped it to you early. Sorry, everything you were you've gone out of sequence. I so So to read So this is where this is where to readet says that thing about like Lisa's my friend and she said it's your night and I don't want you to go home alone. It's weird to be mad
Starting point is 01:10:29 at that. So yeah, she says who would be mad to see me go who would want to see me go alone. So so basically Kyle what comes out is that Kyle says that Lisa Vanderpump kisses the ass of the wrong people and she's telling us to Lisa on the van. She's like sobbing and she's basically saying that Lisa kisses the ass of the wrong people and she's telling us to Lisa on the van She's like sobbing and she's basically saying that Lisa kisses the ass of wrong people She's like I've been here for 10 years. I've been here for 10 years, which is her way of saying I've been on this show longer. I've been your friend longer and you're being like so much of a better friend to DeRite and it's not fair Which I actually really get and I think that's actually a really real emotion
Starting point is 01:11:03 But it's also a selfish emotion because it is possible to meet someone new and just connect with them so much faster. I mean, that's what happens in life, but I felt like Kyle's pain right there. That's like that real petty pain. That's what you get, you know? Well, yeah, because Lisa didn't even do anything wrong. I mean, if she's saying like you're choosing her over me and it was some real fight, but it wasn't. It was so stupid. Vanderpump forgave everybody. What's the big deal? Erica's not mad that Kyle said something. She's not holding all this shit. I mean, it's just ridiculous. It's like, I only used to have this fight with
Starting point is 01:11:36 Lisa Vanderpump about whatever it is. They need to have it over something real because Lisa Vanderpump just can't chew on this. She's like, what is everyone even talking about? Yeah. Specials for this evening. It's something we invented at Sir. So at the hotel, so they get to the hotel and college is like runs off to a bank cat. She just sits in the bank cat with Teddy. She's like, I never feel appreciated, but Lisa Vanderpump all these years. I never feel appreciated. And Teddy's like, I think that Lisa just doesn't know how to process people talking shit about her, which I think is a very mature and insightful thing,
Starting point is 01:12:11 which I think Lisa was just processing in this whole thing, you know. And then, Well, she doesn't know what anybody said still. Yeah, well, I mean, at this point, she should know because Erica and Teddy backed up what Kyle was saying, you know, and Doreet's like, meanwhile Doreet's talking to Lisa and he's like, Lisa, everything I said to you in the park was exactly what was said, nothing more, nothing less, it was
Starting point is 01:12:36 exactly that and possibly something else, but I don't remember what it was, it was exactly that. Didn't you remember Rihanna Lisa? I do, I'm exhausted. So now Lisa joins Teddy Erica and Kyle on the bank cat. And so Lisa's like, so now there's a problem between us? Nobody seems to take an account of the fact that maybe I don't like sitting there all night listening to shit talk about me.
Starting point is 01:12:58 So Lisa's like back in her like, I'm the real victim place now, you know? But Kyle's not gonna allow that to happen because like it feels like a slap in the face at least I want to admit that what Doreet said was wrong and at which point Lisa turns to Teddy goes how do you think I feel I was like oh my god this is where Teddy starts all her accountability shit she's like now you do this and then you do this me she's She's like, I'm leaving now, I've hooked a guy out to you, why don't you still won't take it? No, Teddy. Yeah, this is when Lisa just starts suffocating Kyle. I'm like, I love you.
Starting point is 01:13:32 I love you because I'm leaving you alone. I can't breathe. I love you. I love you. Let my bosom heal your broken wing, my little broken, my love. Why isn't this working? Why isn't this working? Well, guess what?
Starting point is 01:13:44 It's no great picnic for me. You're telling me that one of my best friends is talking shit about me. I'm the victim again. See, I did it again. Yeah. So she leaves them tennis. Like, come on. Come on. It's important. But wait, before she leaves though, it's the world. I finished this. Hold on, I'm trying to see where I actually got out of order in your notes, Ronnie. I'm just trying to, because I know there's so much stuff in here. There is. There is so much stuff. In my mind, Lisa Vanderpump has gotten on the elevator 10 times by now. Just let me, just let me drive. Okay. Okay. You drove off the road by accident. I'm just going to
Starting point is 01:14:19 drive you a little bit. That's all. Okay. I'll support you from the ditch'm supporting. I'm supporting you from the ditch. We're close to the destination, okay? But like here's, so it's this amazing tug of war between Lisa and Kyle over who's the biggest victim in New York, because Lisa's like, it's like how do you think I feel learning that one of my best friends is talking to you about me. So Kyle's like, wait, no, I can be the victim out of this.
Starting point is 01:14:43 So she's like, one of your best friends, what am I? What am I? I'm like, oh my god. How, how, like they are so adept at turning every word into like some, something to become a victim over. It's like, well, I'm gonna go get some pretzels, a pretzel. Well, what am I gonna get? P nuts, is that what I am?
Starting point is 01:15:02 Just P nuts to you. So now, well, I will give you a chocolate covered pretzel, well what am I gonna get? P-nuts is that what I am? Just P-nuts to you. So now... Well I will give you a chocolate covered pretzel. It's called an M&M. Well who's M and who's M? Best of you are M. Which is the first M. Oh, I'm going to bed. How do you think I feel having to give away all my M&Ms?
Starting point is 01:15:23 Yes, and now these systems are way in. Teddy Chase is after Lisa and she's like, you're a friend who's to see that your friendship is important. I told her. Now, excuse me, I'm getting into this, Ella, V, tall. And now the episode ends, Romney. But importantly, the scenes for next week look amazing because Kyle's not fucking around in this war for Lisa Vanderbump, because she brings in the big guns,
Starting point is 01:15:51 aka Bethany Frankel. Oh my God. Yeah, that's not wise. And then Vanderpump already knows Bethany Frankel. She's like, well, I have no problem going up against Bethany Frankel. And then they show Bethany being like, Oh, yeah, I bet you're whatever. Is she just good? Oh, my God, it was such a good episode. Yeah, really was. This was classic Beverly Hills right here. Soup's classic.
Starting point is 01:16:16 Hello, everyone. I hope everyone else is on the cloud nine. Which is by the way that's the same noise that Lisa Vanderpump made at the very end of the previews for next week. So you guys this has been so fun. We're gonna be back to talk some top chef on our next episode. We always love doing that. And go to watchrocrapins.com to buy... You love you, and love you, Beverly Hills. What a fudge, though.
Starting point is 01:16:55 Yeah, super fun. Ron, I hope you're feeling better after you nearly died on the podcast. I did, I'm so sorry, I died and then crashed into a ditch, babe. It's okay. That's why there are two of us. That's why every plane is have a pilot and a co-pilot. Which one's the pilot? You guys have a great have a great night. We'll be back with a new episode tomorrow. Talk to you later. Bye.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Bye. Hey prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins. Add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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