Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Know Your Whine Glasses
Episode Date: January 25, 2018Teddi throws a glam party for the ladies, but things start off on a rocky note when Dorit suffers the indignity of having her Vanderpump Rosé served in a champagne glass. It's all downhill f...rom there. Come check out our recap of the episode followed by the return of Listener Spotlight!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crap Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch A Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that
we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantrop Lender.
And joining me today is a man who only drinks champagne out of champagne glasses.
It's Ronny Carram from TrashTalkTV.com and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast.
What's up, Ronny?
Well, hello, man.
How's it going?
So good. I love me some Beverly Hills girl I love a petty fight
yes me too well we're gonna get into a whole bunch of petty fights today not
you and me we're just gonna talk about other people's petty fights but before we
do that go to watercrapins.com to buy your tickets to our live shows in
Houston and Detroit in March if you speak to anyone in Boston they'll tell you
it was a fun time so go have a fun time too
So if you're in Texas, if you're in Dallas, make the drive if you're in Cleveland
Go drive around that like the Detroit or if you're from Toronto go do it
Watercrapins.com to buy tickets for those shows. Unfortunately our New York show in February is sold out so
You can't buy tickets for that one, but March, you're up next. That's it.
March is coming up next. We're doing a show once or twice a month through the entire year
of 2018 people. That's right. That's right. So Ronnie, shall we talk?
End of the league. Shall we discuss something housewives of Beverly Hills?
We search in the shirt darling so I had already forgotten this because so little has happened on the season that I forget And like what happened when Dorit's when they were gambling a Doreet one and she's like oh one and it's me birthday
It's a good here we go. I'm ready.
Hahaha!
Hahaha!
Sorry, I just gonna say, I thought we were meeting before between 413 and 513.
T.T.
T.T.
Why would we do that?
So far.
So the episode opens up at Vanderpump dogs or at least some walks
and you just woof woof. Hello, doggies. Woof woof.
Dogs and tutes. There's some spaz dog jumping all over the place. Hello! And she's like, what's it say?
It's kind of a cross between my terrible de-reate
and prist nason and also like a cat being put
through a meat grinder.
Lisa's wine.
What is that?
It makes me feel like I'm seeing a broken bird,
but it looks like a dog.
Good.
I'm at Spana. The guy's like, it's Sp Good. I'm at Spina.
The guy's like, it's Spina.
His name is Spina.
We got it from a hoarder.
Sounds good.
Like congratulations on it not being crushed between two books and flattened over time.
I like that Lisa is forcing her gay to dress like he's a waiter at pump.
It's like it gives her a certain amount of power, I think.
Please, please,
where are pink button down? That's open down to your navel and perhaps a loose tie. Yes,
I'm in control now. Now this is the craziest thing we've done so far, this phantom pump
bets. So, can this putting puppies down the front of his shirt, which is probably the cutest
thing I've ever seen, not really for the puppy. The puppy is probably like, I love a hairy
breast, but even this is a bit much for me. But they're talking about how they want to
clone Jiggy. Yeah, yeah, because Ken wants to clone jiggy although my autorec says piggy which I think is so rude to jiggy
It's rude. It's it's $50,000 to clone jiggy and
And the game's like it's like Ken is it worth it to clone?
She just started he's sorry. He just is like is it worth it to clone jiggy and before he can even finish saying what he's gonna say
Lisa better. I was like no, let's not talk about that
Let's talk about the lawsuit silence pump waiter silence
We could give that money to the center
Oh to Lala who apparently means it anyone want to buy Lala range Rover anyone
But oh Rains Rover anyone, but
Say you got fuel or stop
You guys would have been a pump dogs. I have
Bueller I've ordered so many things from Amazon one day. I'm so sorry This is like the second time today. Bueller's had a coughing fit. It's because I'm basically a shopping addict
Okay, did you get stuff from Amazon Prime Riss just now? Yes, like, Prime-Azont.
Prime-Azont, it's where you get my thoughts.
If you wanna get a carriage, go to Pramazon.com.
I'm Pramazon.com.
Yeah, I just keep ordering things from there
because I don't know, I don't wanna leave my house ever.
And so they keep dropping stuff off
and Bueller just, it's like his moment of shine, you know.
Do you wanna get the box?
I can vamp while you go get your box.
No, I'm not gonna get it because then I'm going to open it and then he's going to be
like, oh, I did the right thing.
I don't want him to have any reaction other than mental emotional abuse when he does that.
That's good.
That's good.
You're teaching him.
Just like Ken is teaching the dog in his little kangaroo sack to become and be like a Joey.
So Joey isn't like a baby kangaroo, not Joey from friends.
So he's similar to a baby kangaroo, intelligence wise.
Exactly.
So Lisa, they had a pump I started to talk about this other rescue
center that they're having a controversy with and saying how
they were going to merge with them.
But she's like, but things weren't quite the way we wanted it.
There, they didn't have the way we wanted it. They didn't
have a place for broken birds, just perfectly fine birds. I wasn't comfortable.
I only wanted birds that were perfect after I fixed them. We had to disengage.
I was like, what was this this a military act? I consulted my men in the folder and it turns out that Ken gave them $40,000 for rent.
And the next thing you know, they're suing him saying that Ken reneged on being a partner.
Wrong!
Ken not paid an almost full jiggy to that center.
Why would you want to clone a dog with a skin disease?
No offense jiggie like he's really cute, but wouldn't he be born with the same alopecia?
Because that's a cute alopecia and then and then Jonathan's just like what?
Holding jiggy telling
Jonathan's like it's terrible. He doesn't even talk like that. It's our default voice brigade people are.
It's Mikey. Mikey is basically working there.
He's like me and that Yacht's bad. This dog is named Pima. Yacht's bad to everything.
So Ken has apparently very hurt by having this integrity brought into question, which I understand. I understand.
Yeah, so then he just goes on sucking out the brains of those puppies in his shirt
It's like brain sense. Oh, I love the awesome spinal fluid. She keep me young from an iron
The other rescue center was probably like listen
We wanted to work with you, but Ken kept stealing puppies in his shirt. So next up we go over to Teddy
I'm Teddy where she's seeing her estimation. And it's also Mikey and the
gay preventive problem. All rolled into one. But it's like he went to the plastic surgeon was like,
can I have Carson Cressley's face? It's like, why would you do that?
He's like, I want my face to look like Carson Cressley mixed with my friend Abbey from middle school.
So he kind of talks like Billy Lee. He does.
Like Billy Lee from Danny Pemprus.
And he's like, keep video.
Okay.
And she's like, um, my, my name is Teddy.
Hi.
I'm into preservation not plastic.
Okay.
So I get facial someone I can and I make sure not to fill myself with
Anything like those coquins from dyke folks because that's how dolphins die. I'm not super into fashion or shopping
Well, I'm like, well, why are you on this show?
Teddy this is real house of Beverly Hills
Not real people who walk down the sidewalks of Beverly Hills, okay?
So I'm here the fuck do you think you're kidding You have some guy with Carson Cressley's old face
like putting goo all over your face with a big stick.
So, I think you are.
I think you are Smoddy, Teddy.
Well, she does face.
She's into wellness and preservation.
So, he's like, well, Teddy, I want to do something new
on you today.
I want to do the Venus legacy skin tightening.
I'm like, I don't know what that is,
but it does not sound like something
that should be happening to anyone's face. Venus legacy. I'm like, it's like a, oh, the Venus legacy skin tightening? I'm like, I don't know what that is, but it does not sound like something that should be happening to anyone's face.
Venus legacy.
I'm like, it's like, oh, the Venus legacy.
Venus legacy skin tightening.
What is the Venus legacy?
Is it like a legacy of banana ramma?
It's lots of fucking, Venus is the planet of fucking.
Yeah.
Lots of old dried out Venus legacy.
It's like, it's exhausted.
It's the most exhausted sexual energy you've ever felt.
You know one thing that Hay did say that I appreciate was her saying, you know, I'm not a fan of
filler. I've seen a lot of scary filler so I'm gonna lay off that for as long as I can, but I'm
gonna do Botox. I'm like good for you because we have not seen many good examples of filler. I think
that filler is a science
that has yet to be perfected. Have we ever seen any filler that looks particularly good
ever? No, I think filler was invented by a fat person who realized that when you start
losing weight, when you're old, you just look really old and then so people will get fat
just out of their face, look normal again. So someone who was like, if only my face could
be fat again, but my body could
be thin. I've got it. I'll go get some coke from Home Depot and shove it into my face.
They haven't really perfected it yet. Yeah. I mean, not even Shemar Moore can pull
it off. And if Shemar Moore can't pull off filler, then honestly, no one can. So Teddy
is like, well, me and these girls don't really connect on anything except our appearance.
So queer eye for the straight guy, I'm going to bring you over to this party, okay?
And he's like, okay, but we just want to make an environment of love and connection.
Okay.
Sounds great.
Because she wants to do like a glamour day as a thank you for the girls bringing her to
Vegas.
And they show a flashback of Teddy on the phone calling Lisa Vanderpump and some others and being like, yeah
Hey guys, I want to invite you all over to a glam circle at my house and Lisa Vanderpump just goes what?
And then the flashback ends like what a ridiculous who
glam circle a drum circle. What are we hippies?
glam
glam circle
Bam bam circle What are we doing here? Glam, glam circle. Bam, bam circle. What are we doing here, Teddy?
What is this ridiculousness?
Now, by the way, to be fair, Teddy's skin actually looks really amazing afterwards.
So I'm going to give credit where credit is due.
Teddy, your skin looks wonderful.
Your gay is doing wonderful things for you, okay?
Yes.
So let's go to Warner Brothers.
Kyle is with Ginny and Lizzy the editors Kyle is dressed like
Cruella Deville goes corporate. She's like I'm gonna wear a blazer, but it's black and white. It's very
Cruella Deville. She goes, what are we working on girls? And she's like we're working on episode 105 and
Carl goes, I love this episode. I didn't know what this and then she's like, oh my god, I love this episode. I didn't know what the scene, and then she's like, oh, my God, I love this.
My favorite scene, and we see a scene, and it's Alicia Silverstone, Alicia Silverstone
telling Young Kyle saying, just remember, you were picked out because you're better than
all the other girls.
I was like, that's my favorite scene.
No, Katie, do you think this is kind of a dream version of Kyle's childhood?
She's like, I'm gonna rewrite the whole thing.
I'm the star now.
Wow.
The clip is really odd.
First of all, why is Alicia Silverstone
talking like Doreet?
Did you notice that?
She's got some accent.
Yeah, she's like, you were picked out.
Have lots and lots of girls.
We can be home right now if you don't love it.
She's saying these lines,
which I think whenever they show a picture
of Battle Ack's March, you know, Kyle's mom,
she doesn't look like she's this nice.
And I think she probably said these lines like,
you were picked out of lots and lots of girls.
We can go home right now if you don't love it.
Now be sure to introduce
yourself and look them straight in the eye. Okay, this is how she probably really said it.
Listen, I brought you here out a lot and lots of girls. I could have brought Kathy. I could
have brought Cam. Look, we'll go home right now if you don't want it. Now introduce yourself
and look them straight in the eye so they know you're not a pussy. Ah, you know, that
is one of the most accurate things you've ever said.
That is so true, it is so 100% true.
And also, like, is this show supposed to be a comedy
because the scene was like, look at him in the eyes and shake their hands.
I was like, waiting for the bunch of lines.
I'll never get hired on it as a writer.
Sam.
Yeah, it's the show about getting a bank.
So, let's read a little bit there.
Um, so anyway, so Kyle is just reflecting on her mom and, uh, she's saying how modern age for baby baby bird feeding her child,
which is where you chew, chew up your food and then you feed your baby with it.
And I just imagine that Kyle's mom really put that like, yeah, I don't want this.
Eat it, Kyle. your baby with it and I just imagine that Kyle's mom really put that like yeah I don't want this eat it Kyle
I mean you know that that Kyle's mom was like was tough because she even says that
Kyle even says that when she was she would be walking around and she would see a toy that she wanted
or a dress her mom would say well you can get a job and work for it. I mean, the girl was like seven years old. That's crazy, right? I
know. It sounds like Erica's mom because Erica said that to you. She's like, remember,
when you made me get a job and tell me to work for Bob. Like, what is this season in mommy
issues? Exactly. And also, you're talking to the right person. We all get it. Speaking of Erica, speaking of Erica, Erica arrives at Doreet's place, which is, you know,
a season ago, this is not something we would have expected, but Erica arrives to hang out
with Doreet.
Yes, and I think it's funny that for Doreet, you know, when they put all those funny intros
for things, they're like, look, it's dogs and tutus, or it's ladies with thag app in bikinis,
walking around Beverly Hills or whatever,
for their, they give those really old hoverboards,
but those things that you stand on
and like mall cops use them.
Yeah, yeah, that's.
And what was, Segways?
Yeah, the Segways.
I thought that was such a funny way to come into Duret.
Like everyone else has moved on to hoverboards, but she's like, look at us with a segue with
the rich.
It's nice to see you, Erica.
It's so nice to see you guys.
Erica's here.
Guys, so nice to see you.
Thanks for coming.
Erica has to walk up all those stairs.
Poor Erica just can't catch a break. It's like, walk drive here from
Pasadena for 45 minutes and then walk up five flights of
stairs to see Dorech. Yeah, exactly. And her Rapunzel tower.
So their Erica is there because they're going to go pick out a
birthday gift for PK because his big 50th birthday is coming
up soon. And, you know, they're like, like, what do I
thought? You know, it's sort of surprising, but now we're gonna start our friendship oval.
You know, be friends now, but from a place of truth, you know, things like that.
I love Erica's trying to be more animated, but I just don't buy it.
I mean, she's saying things like this.
I was thrilled to get the call from Duret to pick out a gift for PK.
So, maybe you weren't.
Who are you?
What are you trying to pull over our eyes here lady well
should I be excited to get out of the house you know I've been seeing more of Mr. Gerard
who more than I've ever seen before and while I love how they're around it's uh it's
nice to escape once in a while uh yeah once they get hurt they're like infancies man he's
pooping himself he's eating bush food Oh wait here with hours doing that never mind
He's just how more he's just tell more. I like it with because they're driving to this car place in America saying that stuff about how Tom
As turns into an infant and Dorita's clearly not paying attention because she just keeps going like this
totally
Totally
Also, I like that
Totally Tattly. Also, I like that. Tattly.
Tattly!
Tattly.
Tattly.
I like that Erica got in some light shade there, because she's like,
well, this could be a chance for us to communicate what on what,
without outside influences for words.
I was like, outside like Vandapum.
Are you making fun of Vandapum dolls when not having a kettle run?
You know, maybe we'll have a chance to talk to each other without spatters,
we even weds and cool enough, you know what I'm saying, Charlotte.
So, okay, so this season Dereet has already given us one of my favorite audio clips of all
time and I will play it now in case anyone forgot.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Soft clap, soft clap.
So here comes another, I feel like, instant classic.
Erica and Doreet enter this car place and the guy who works there he goes young ladies welcome
And Dorit lets out a scream like she just got gutted with a machete. Did you notice that?
No play it. Okay. This is what it was
Oh
Chazzle seem jagger and so long she thinks it's him
But it's like such a
horrifying Scream the depths of her soul like Freddie Krueger himself reached out from one of these sports cars and
Stabbed her before she could talk to the split of the salesman
you get talked to the split of the salesman Ladies Ladies Ladies
Ladies Ladies
Ladies
Ladies Ladies
Ladies
Nothing like sounding
Nothing like sounding young by screaming like that
MAAAAA
MAAAAA
MAAAAA
MAAAAA
I can't even, you did it well
I can't even replicate it
Oh my god
One more time, can we do it one more time?
Please
Ladies
Ladies
Ladies Ladies Ladies Oh my god do it one more time. Please. No, ladies. Yeah. Oh, my God. I when I I just started to die with laughter.
Well, what a funny ass. That is so Beverly Hills to be like, hey, young ladies.
Like, it's like two people from Chuck E. Cheese. The Chuck E. Cheese.
Matt Naseau are walking in here. What are you talking about?
It's like reverse. It's like reverse of what you do to kids. You know, to kids, you go,
hey, big guy. Yeah, exactly. Just tell them what they need and maybe
with the better thing on TV. Because you know, PK, I'm paying $3 million for a car.
So it's like, bread and PK have! No need to have a long time! Zombrette convinced me that pique gets a becotti?
It's a stretch!
A pegane is the perfect gift for pique.
It's only 25 in the US, and they cost nearly $3 million.
It's perfect for pique, guys.
It's perfect. It's perfect.
Yeah, I'm sure, yeah.
Fucking Dorit.
At least everyone else is kind of pretending they're rich
Yeah, Dorit's like three million dollars. No problem. Could I get it for two? You've got to deal
I'm like I can get out of here ain't nobody believe in man. Yeah, and they walk out to this stupid car
I mean this is like this is a car where your penis is so small. It's action-verted. I actually think this is like
It's like going back up into you.
Like maybe it's like, I don't know,
it's just,
people are paying a lot of money to get that done, bin.
I know, I was like,
I kind of shy go there.
I won't.
Let's make fun of the car.
It looks stupid.
Okay, first of all, all the doors are up,
like a pseudo Lamborghini.
It looks like a fly that's been startled, okay?
It's like a Batmobile, and you're like, wait a minute.
How does a Batmobile go underground?
I'm like, caves and stuff.
It's like it's always hitting the ceiling.
It's like, if the Batmobile were commissioned
to tunnel for a subway, it's like, okay,
I guess we use this car.
I'm sorry, it's just because it's expensive,
and it has like an aerodynamic look and doors
that open in all directions.
Doesn't mean that it's worth $3 million in my humble view.
Get a Toyota Camry, that's a sensible car.
Well, it's for your, for their budget, you know they don't show that sit brown Rolls-Royce
or what of that rose gold one that he gave for last year, because there's like a car
max sticker on the back that they can't get. No, well, no, they, that's what they, they drove in that, that rose
gold thing over to this place, the begonny place. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You never see
it from the back because you know, there's like one of those little car max imprints.
It's like, how's my driving car? I started doing Australian now called 555 fix my car.
I'm sorry doing Australian now call 5 5 5 5 fix my car. I don't know boys guys
Call 5 5 5 5 guys
Goys this is basically
The way that she's paying for that car that she's driving the the regular car that she has. Because you know they ain't paying for that shit either.
She's like, okay, we're filming something that's a little batma bit of stone.
If you keep giving us the hurt rental for another three months of filming, Brits.
So, to read, so to read an error, I'm gonna give it a test drive, but to read it's like,
I'm not equipped to drive this car.
I'm doing a show in there. reach like I'm not equipped to drive this car. I'm doing
Australian now. I think I'm all turned around. I think sometimes like if I hear too much
Mrs. Padmore I just become Australian. That's a very strange thing. Oh blame me, blame you.
Oh, it's my fault, didn't it? I said that I'll shrily any extent get out of my border
to walk this instant. She's like I I'm not a quick to drive this car.
My airbags make me quick to crash it though. You want to try a vehicle?
I feel like we're going to take off or something.
Go to the moon or something. Wouldn't that be exciting, Erica?
Go to the moon. I could sell my bathing suits there.
Sell them to moon men. That'd be the most popular thing.
And I'm going to win an MTV award because that's a mean man get it Erica.
Then Erica and her 10 pounds of makeup face and her pig tails is like I don't even know
the fastest car I've been in the forgot the book I am the poop even long got in the
little and bloody little glottie I don't even know.
Raylionna.
So yeah.
But this blows away my little Ferrari.
I've like the Paul sister here. So, this blows away my little Ferrari.
I have like the Paul Assistie here.
I'm like Hannah and whatever those other Paul Assistists
remain.
The Pauls have those.
And then Doreet's like, then suddenly I was thinking, I mean as much as I love this
kind and I just don't think that PK would be able to enjoy it because he's been thinking,
it's my wife, seriously mental right now. I mean am I mental? I just can't pay three million dollars on this. You won't be able to enjoy it because he'd be thinking, is my wife seriously mental right now? I mean, am I mental? I just can't pay
three million dollars on this, you won't be able to enjoy it. So I decided not
to spend the three million dollars on it. Also, we don't have three million dollars.
Also, Erica's paying for Lone John to ego.
Magic. Hard in the sky.
Dereet's like, I swear to God, I'm six-lay-ra!
Actually Dereet was driving it, and I say that Dereeturet's like, I swear to God, I'm sixly razz. Actually Duret was driving it.
Did I say that Duret wasn't driving it?
She was driving it because Eric was driving it.
Yeah, she was driving it.
Sort of like, she's giving like a tender drive along the down
like, man, he's bull of art or wherever they look.
She said she got sexually razzed in America's like,
I told you, but dick guy, huh?
And Mark had told me to say that. I said, I would play well with the guys. Sexually roused America's like I told you're my dick guy
My could tell me to say that I said what play well with the games
All right, look let's get multiple things to cross out in the scene okay. I'm rich I'm rich and I'm a gay dude with a dick. Oh
My god, I just realized it's my ballad
These guys So hard I just realized it's my ballad. Pagani's got me so hot in the legs.
Bubby, good-hi-
In the bottom.
It's like a really sad ballad.
It's like a dirge.
Bubby, got a hot in the gull. How the Smurper Ghaniel. Ha ha ha ha.
Send exoscoverda.
Hi, hi, hi.
How the oh, hi.
Hi.
Oh, look, it's Harry Hamlin.
Hi, Harry Hamlin.
Hi, how are you?
What?
It's like a tea, Harry.
Yes.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Who?
Oh, so she's pretending.
And she admits it, at least, which I always love about her, but she's like at least admitting
she and ever making him tea. She's like, look, Harry, I put cream in your teeth. Look, I don't even know what
happened. It curdles, but heavy cream and built. It's like, I don't belong in the kitchen and he's like,
oh, there's a reason I cook here. You want a sugar free apple pie? I'm working on the Menendez brothers right now.
That was my attempt at a Harry Helmland impersonation
never tried it before.
He's like, it's a law and order.
Menendez brothers, criminal minds, SVU menendez order law and.
He's like, whoa!
Intense.
Tell me, you go on vacay and you'll get booked.
I mean, it's very common for us to go to Canada.
Have I mentioned Canada?
We love Canada.
Forstars, what a country.
Listen, baby, remember when Amelia had a spitting phase?
I was like, uh, a spitting phase.
Listen, I told her you keep spitting and you're going to grow a penis.
Baby, she never spat again or grew a penis
Well, I'm glad she didn't say that in front of Eric. I Erica would have just started spitting look a grilled dick at a time
Yes, yes, while away you spit new ballot
Who know if I do this I wouldn't have been swallowed in the whole time got a dick
So Harry turned down work to raise the kids. I don't know why I wrote that down like that such a fascinating point
He turned on work Harry Hamlin
But the main thing is that they start talking about the kid and she's like I just want to stay normal
I just want our kids to stay like normal girls,
going to NYU being normal, supermodel, being normal.
Yeah, normal, we're totally normal.
Yeah, like carrying 20 bags for her children.
And they're worried that Delilah, you know,
because she's moving to New York City
in advance of starting at NYU in the spring.
And they're afraid that she's gonna have,
like be too unstructured and get into bad scenes, et and Harry is really concerned you know he's like because because
Lisa's like well you know at a certain point they just have to learn the
hard way and he's like well I don't want her to learn the hard way you know
like what if she gets hooked on drugs she's like oh I just meant just getting
her heart broken
he's like do you live in a real world? She's like, look, Harry Hamlin, I have a bubble of white light around both of them, okay?
It's a bubble of white light.
Think it be it, be it, think it, think good, get good.
My right, Harry Hamlin, bubble, bubble.
He's like, well, what happens when a creek comes up to the
bubbles? Is he just bounce off? You should sell bubbles. You can sell everything.
I'm just like, I can sell bubbles. I can sell bubbles. Bubbles of white light. Oh,
battery.
It leaves the redness. She is yourself pop off the floor now girl
She's like watching the 10,000 flushes commercial with those little subs
So like doing a doing like a NASCAR 500 around the toilet. She's like whoa. Oh my god bubbles so fast
Baby
Man, we're really back to place
So back over it, Vanda pump dogs.
Kyle comes in with her giant dog.
You know, Kyle tries with her dogs,
but they're just too big.
She's very, very big.
She means little dogs, okay?
Yeah.
So her big dog, Storm, and Portia brings a friend
and Vanda prompts me Storm and she goes,
oh, which is very different from,
oh, which means she hates Kyle's dog. Woooow! Which is very different from... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Not yet darling he's got two more days of trying to get sold
So he's like you guys are you dad because Lisa didn't completely make you a grooming appointment and we're like completely short of groomer
So that's like one completely and one not completely which complete are you are you completely you're not completely I
Didn't know you needed grooming for your dog
Kyle I love to mess with Kyle Richards.
Little does Kyle know I left a note in the miller folder to say fuck with Kyle today.
To do.
S number two with number three. Kyle Richards! That's right! Be here all week.
Get it!
So...
She's almost funny, she's like...
I didn't forget, of course, that the dog needed grooming.
I just wanted to see Kyle on a handson ease.
Wouldn't be the first time, am I right?
She literally says,
I just love to fuck with Kyle.
Winder up and really have a bit of a laugh at her expense.
Is that wrong?
No, it's not.
I don't love you.
It's why I used to give Kim drugs to do in the bathroom.
It was so fun watching Kyle get upset.
Get it?
Like, well, well, that was not funny, OK.
So, Storm, poor Storm, he is not only to have to deal with the indignity of an ugly pool shape
But now I've got to come here. He's like
Sounds like Doreet
That's like they're like hi
Guys, don't leave me. Like a lot.
Shoot.
Oh, I was like, I haven't heard that name since someone read my first pilot.
Hey, Storm, I'm gonna take you to least see at least a van their plane.
Like a lot.
Shoot.
Like darling, it's very important for you to stick your finger up to retain your gland.
Get into it!
So, I like, so the first to start until like wash poor storm and they're like hosing them down and these are like,
Oh darling, my rear edge, oh I'm sorry Kyle, I just poured water from this hose on your air.
She's like, Lisa, I just blew dry this.
This dog is a ratic and matty, like his own a getty!
Don't defend a pump dogs for the grooming, stay for the comedy.
And so then they're like, oh, sorry babe.
No, so I was just gonna say, then then they take storm over to the dry bar
and they are like they have like these these like blow dryer things and Lisa's cracking me up, but this is I mean
This is I was genuinely laughing at this because Lisa's just taking the the blow dryer thing
I just putting it in Kyle's face and Kyle's hair is just like going all over the place and she's like Lisa stop
Yes blow in the face And Kyle's hair is just like going all over the place and she's like Lisa stop stop
Yes blow in the face
I'm not even gonna say we're Lucy in it though because you don't have to say it if you are
I've got a wacky thing. I'm gonna miss me. It may be late today. I've seen with Kyle and Lisa together with the tall groomers
Oh my god Ronnie. I just looked at my next note,
because no storm starts going, listen to him,
I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah.
My next note was,
Storm is like doing in a dog-reat-in-personation.
Oh my god.
He is in the same wavelength, the same wavelength.
And it's so true.
So after, she's like, wasn't that a fun wacky scene,
a merciless.
All right, let's have a seat, Kyle.
And Kyle goes, I feel bad because I got stormed from that same lady who's like making accusations about you guys.
At least it's like, that is why he got an ooo instead of a... Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Did you notice that sitting behind Kyle was a giant portrait of jiggy that was clearly from the same Shina print-to-canvas
Yes, it was like the glamour shot. Yeah, so
So the next they're sitting there. They're talking and they start talking about this rescue center and now it's getting dramatic
You know because and Lisa talking about how it's affected can and everything and she's like, it just takes a toll, really?
Oh, dramatic, dramatic, I was worried about Ken.
And then she looks out the window.
She's just like doing that staring out the window.
And Kyle's, and of course, guess what?
Kyle told Lisa that we're gonna brought it up a dinner. Of course, Kyle did. The little gossip.
Yes, and Vanderpump's like, listen, we all know what it's like to fight with Lisa Rina, and there are in fact lots of people doing
Coke in my bathroom. So instead of getting upset, I'm going to say, you know, at Lisa Rina, it was in page six, which is better than you for the past year and it's up for public consumption
go for it go for it so then they then they decide to change topics to something much more interesting
teddy
she's like now before I bring my horse to run with Teddy's horse I need to have a better understanding of why
Teddy is upset with Dorit. Am I because Dorit was late. There you go.
Self.
Dorit was late. Dorit was really late and then acted like she wasn't late.
That's what the problem is.
Kyle does a pretty killer impression of Dorit too.
Oh my God. It's amazing. Her impersonation is the best of at of anyone.
It's it's it's anyone, it's just perfect.
You know what it's odd?
She does the best impersonations of any housewife
and we don't even have an impersonation, Kyle.
Yeah, there is none.
It's like sort of like, no, we don't, we have none.
It's like in Kyle and Nini,
there's just no impersonations for them.
But you know what I thought was funny was
when they're talking about this Teddy Duret issue,
Kyle's like, yeah, it's like becoming a whole thing.
Like now it's become a whole,
you're just disrespectful of my time thing.
It's like blowing up out of a portion.
I'm like, that's because you've gone back and forth
to both women and keep telling them what they keep
and saying to each other.
You're the one who turned it into something.
Thank you.
Yeah, someone wrote on the Facebook group last week
after watching that episode.
They're like, do you love that Kyle went from place
to place trying to start shit
and then Rina just walks in
and upstate just her in a few seconds?
So I can't have seen someone in the jog shelter.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Hello.
She's efficient.
She is one efficient lady.
Hello, this is Lisa Van der Pum.
We are taking a commercial break now,
but if you don't hear one, don't worry.
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Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
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And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and
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What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
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It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
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So, hey, I'm Teddy.
Teddy's at home with the baseball cap on,
because I'm totally normal,
and that's what people do.
They like watch baseball.
Yeah, by the way, Teddy, later on when you say,
I don't like going someplace,
and everyone has to dress like certain thing,
and I don't like doing that.
It makes me feel weird.
I'm like, well, guess what?
You're doing with your baseball cap.
Dressing like every other person in baseball cap.
Yes.
Like there.
Oh my God, guys, I'm so glad I got that impromptu baseball cap.
Adam.
I just thought of it.
And I was like, I'm gonna bust her.
Bust her the baseball cap.
Release the baseball cap, Enga.
So Doreet's like, I mean, Teddy calls Doreet.
She's like, well, I just wanted to make sure I talked to Doreet about this one more time
before we all talked about it again together.
Hey, it's Teddy.
Hi, it's Teddy.
I just wanted to chat before the other ladies arrived.
And Doreet goes, oh, what time?
It's like, okay, Miss Haverson.
What do you have something else to do?
Yeah, but the thing is this, the event is at 4.30, apparently a controversial time on this show.
And, and then he's like, could you just come in like 4.15 just to chat real quickly?
And Doreet tells us, she's like, really? Sure, I guess I can be there a little earlier than I'm supposed to be there.
I'm like, don't act so put out of place.
It's like a 15 minutes earlier, you know?
Like when she says I have to be there even earlier
than I'm supposed to be there.
Yeah, even earlier.
That's just a little bit earlier than on time.
It's not like you've been summoned an hour early already
and then another hour before that.
Yeah, because she's stating her for the time
she's having her event too.
She's like, even earlier?
Even earlier than 430-530?
Who's through an event?
This time in life!
I worry about the traffic though, Teddy.
I'm just not sure I can get there on time.
I mean, at best case scenario, maybe 5 minutes late, so maybe 8pm.
So Teddy is like, I maybe 8 p.m.
So Teddy is like, I'm prepping, I'm prepping for this party because like, I don't know how to do this.
I'm just like a normal person. How do you throw a party?
I know this girl named Janie. She's my, Jamie, she's my party planner.
Like we grew up writing horses together. Thank God for her.
Oh, hi, I'm Teddy.
Yeah, I mean, like, now you're dragging Jamie into like the horse memories.
Like, is everything revolved around horses? Everything? Yeah, I mean like now you're dragging Jamie into like the horse memories
like Everything revolved around horses everything and he knows is probably Jamie's horse
He's had he didn't even own a horse
So you're probably like this is the girl who loaned me a horse all the time now I'm making her put together a party
And Jamie's like we'll have a flower station where we can all make crowns
police of and her poem
Crown a crown of roses. I've never even heard of that. I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm just a girl which glasses go with what? Oh, there's certain glasses for just diet coats
This is crazy. You know those flower crowns somewhere Caroline Fleming was having an orgasm
I
Can't help but notice a reference to midsummer Swedish midsummer flower crowns
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Comte oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh to have me to inspire you to make a flower crown. Flower crown. So the facialist is there. He's like,
Hey, how are you still facialist? And she has him doing pillowcases.
She's like, I don't even know which pillows go on which cases,
in which cases go on which pillows. I'm like, there's square pillows.
And you're putting fucking bed pillowcases on them. It's not about being richer poor. Don't you know you're
shapes. Words to live by. That's gonna. If we're still with her. If we if there were still
that Twitter account that did our quotes, I think that would go on there. Rapins quotes
or whatever. Like one thing to be perfect. She's ridiculous. Like one thing to be perfect
is on very particular, but also normal.
So it's like, I don't even know what to be particular about.
Just an idiot.
So Doree shows up and her hair, like she has,
there's been a miscalculation with her Bob.
Now, it's a very severe Bob, it's well, it's sharp,
it's just right, but it is so short.
She looks like that meme with, you know the meme
of the kitten wearing the pumpkin helmet.
That's what she looks like.
She looks like she's wearing a blonde pumpkin helmet.
I think she looks like she's auditioning
for the El Paso Dmitrieta version of Sally Bulls in Capricote.
I was about to say, that's the next one.
She's like, look at this, some Sally Bulls.
Laughter's a camera or a chair.
I'm a boy, did you baby, hope you don't mind.
Maybe next time, I'll be early. Maybe next time
PK will be there. Maybe next time
Teddy will just relax a little bit. It was only six minutes the Nazis will never come
Anyway, so to read his leg. That is so hard to yeah, I mean yeah to read really is basically cabaret guys
I'm gonna stay here. I'm sure we find guys come on
Let's sing cabaret. You know, I love putting on a show with pk
Everyone come on. Oh look at all these men. They're all in such a beautiful uniform. Come on, it's the MC
They're coming in beyond the new welcome get it
Welcome everyone's welcome you especially broken
First they came for the Jews then they came for the puppies
It's all about like that little puppies
Whiff it right so
So it's like Teddy I'm here bright and early Teddy these you see what I've done here. I'm early
I get time Teddy I understood it this time today's like yeah, yeah, well, um, cool, come on in, like you want something to drink.
And-
Out of this glass!
Am I supposed to just drink champagne out of whichever glass I want, Teddy?
Well, to be fair, Dread's like, well, I'll have some Fanta Pump Rose, you know, because I know where my bread is butted.
Fanta Pump Rose, please, it's the best Rose.
I love how I have to drink it out of a champagne glass.
Oh, that's the most hilarious thing you've ever done.
Teddy, you're just, you have, you have a wicked wit about you.
Teddy, oh, this wasn't a joke, no?
Oh.
Wrong glass, Teddy, what a joke.
Oh, you went kidding.
I'll take back the t-shirts. I have ordered for you.
So, uh...
Different glasses for different kinds of drinks for a reason.
Because what's the point of buying champagne glasses
if you can't see the champagne in them? Am I right?
I didn't make it up, but just know the difference.
So, in the backyard, she's like, uh,
because Teddy is being nice.
She's like, you know, I nice. She's like you know I just
wanted you to come over because I'm Teddy. Look that lady loved me a horse one time and Dorees just
trying to. Dorees just trying to fuck with her at every turn and she's like oh it isn't just proper
where you know I'm not gonna let anyone touch my face
You know how to is to the you have your people I don't know what your people are capable of
And then Teddy of course Teddy Teddy Teddy
Because it rhymes and it's a dream. Yeah, she's like like, well, I laid out a text. If you're not interested in a facialist, you should have sent a text and said, I don't let people
touch me. It's as simple as that. You know, to be fair, to read complaining about the glasses,
she just being accountable, Teddy has accountability codes. And so she should totally get it,
you know, as you have the right to that. That is a really good point. Yeah, I mean, for every time the
Teddy's like, I mean, I don't get these things. Listen, if the if the dress code is
is black tie, you got to wear black tie Teddy, because otherwise you're doing it
wrong and we're holding you accountable. Oh my God, that's really a good
awful point. At the same time, I love it. It's a bit awful point. Just like, look how many wrong glasses there are.
One, two, three, four, five.
I'm holding the accountable, Teddy.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Like you're doing it wrong, I actually.
Teddy, you know, Llan, you know Llan,
I thought you said you were an accountability coach.
No, she's a counter us and has nothing to do
with the accountability.
It was accountability.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.. Now did you do your taxes?
I did because I'm accountability.
So tell me I cannot wait to try your burgers.
No, that's the counter.
That's a restaurant called the counter.
Not countable the coach.
Well, I love wearing you to bed.
No, that's an actual teddy.
I bought it for you cousin. No, that's an actual teddy. I bought it for you cousin. No, that's teddy
comedy. You know, I think that flashlights are terrible. I
loved using what you use. No, that's a candle. It's not
even sounds.
It's not for the sea, though.
So stupid. So Teddy goes, no, look, here's the thing that we're actually talking. Did you see
Terrarium's out there? They're on all of Lisa Vanderbump paper colors. I don't watch real
houses New Jersey. Go on. That's too mean so. I don't stand behind the people who did the tears to tax. It's like no, that's terrorism. I'm terribly afraid of fish
I'm sorry, so I can't go near to her. I'm sorry. Who would invite to terrorism to a party? It's a terrarium Teddy
Who's Terry Ariam?
so
So Teddy is
I'm horrified with myself. I'm just backing away from the mic.
What? What?
What?
I think I'm making terrorism.
We need to terrarium.
We've already made Nazi jokes. So hey, let's go down the whole rabbit hole. So rabbit hole.
So Teddy is, Teddy's like, like, you've got the rabbit hole no
The rabbit hole
Okay, I'm gonna be quiet. No, I'm just like laughing at how we're just ridiculous because we've started and stopped this episode so many times with technical issues at this point we've now just like lost our minds somewhere just
Just being ridiculous. So Teddy is like listen, I don't actually care that you left me at the restaurant for 54 minutes.
And he's like, really? Because that's a pretty specific not caring.
Yeah, she's like, I didn't leave you for 54 minutes, 5.4 seconds, I think, it's the proper term.
Gone in 60 seconds, you were?
Just like the movie. So she's like, no, I didn't,'s like no I didn't she goes I didn't
leave you there and she goes yes she did to read yes she did she goes I was
at a meeting I just I get so lazy focused you know when I'm designing my
bikinis and such it's just it's hard for me to look at clocks I don't understand
numbers anyway that's why I'm not an accountability coach and so it's very
difficult and so when you said and I was
like well I've only six minutes after 4.30 when we're really only supposed to meet
at 5 anyway so guys I think you cut me some slack.
We're supposed to meet between 4.30 and 5.
So she's like look I don't even care but like the thing I care about is that you
told Kyle you were six minutes late and then they so clip of her telling Kyle
that she was 20 minutes late.
And I'm like, okay, now you're both wrong.
I can't even follow this now.
It gets so confusing.
It does.
Today's like the one thing I'm never wrong about
is what time I'm supposed to do something.
I'm gonna count the bill of the coach.
You're so boring, even in what you're right about.
And then she goes, it was an hour.
I was like, okay, now it's an hour.
Near the one trying to be so specific.
So then they're like, if it was an hour,
why would I have said 10 minutes on the phone?
You think I believed it was four o'clock
and I'm saying 4.30?
You believe I don't know how to tell the time,
is that what you're saying, Tiddy?
And then it just turns into this mobius strip of an SAT question, she's like,
Tuddy, Tuddy.
You told me on the phone, it's been 30 minutes, and I said, Tuddy, it's been 18 minutes since
I was supposed to meet you, and if 18 minus 30 minutes is 5 minutes, and I don't know
math, and maybe I don't know math, but what time would the train have arrived in Syracuse?
If one rocket ship was going faster than a Batman bill, how mad would PKB if I spent
$3 million?
$3 billion times the $5 we have left in our account equals how many speeds per hour for a train going north and a balloon going south.
He's like, look, okay. I don't know, but I'm defending myself for something I didn't do.
And now I'm talking about you to somebody else. I don't like talking about you to other people. I'm doing it because...
Exactly!
And you're like, I don't know how I became the feeling in all of this. I'm like, because you were late.
You were nearly an hour late. That's how everyone always becomes a villain. The moment you're late for anything is the moment that you become the villain.
And by the way, you know, by the way, that these are the producers that did this.
You know that, like, that, that Teddy was like, okay, so when we want to shoot today, they're like 4 p.m.
You'll meet her at 4 p.m. and then, you know, Dread was like, okay, so when we want to shoot today, they're like 4 p.m., you'll meet her at 4 p.m. And then, you know, Doreet was like,
darling, where am I supposed to meet with that boring girl?
And they're like 4.30 to reach.
She's like, great.
So you know what the producers who did this all?
The producers hate themselves.
So like, let's set ourselves up to just sit there
and watch this boring girl sit out of a water glass
for an hour.
It feels like the saddest new person has to take that gig.
So, uh...
To read, yeah, so then to read, it's like,
Teddy, Teddy.
It's a little overly sensitive, don't you think?
I mean, it's a very American of you, I think.
You're just so over sensitive.
There's a joke about a pussy, that's all.
She's like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
So I called you a poop in front of David.
She's like, no, that was Camille.
Oh, jeez, now I've gotta go there. Yeah She's like, no, that was cameo. Oh jeez, now we've got to go there.
Yeah, just like, don't be ridiculous Teddy.
These are my friends.
No, I can't.
They keep cutting these clips, which is so funny.
Could Teddy's like, it just shouldn't have been
a conversation with you and Kyle,
and then they cut to her telling Kyle,
oh, can you believe it?
Six to 20 minutes balloons?
Whatever.
And then she's like,
my point is I had a conversation with another woman
about you and I put a bad taste to my math
and she goes, a bad taste.
It wasn't to call me.
I'm actually dead.
She calls you like five times.
Chetty, maybe the reason why you're bad tasting your mouth is because you're serving things in the wrong vessels.
That's why you don't drink champagne out of a pot glass, did he?
The bubbles would go all the way and then you just drink flat grape water.
Tetsu-Terry finally goes, wait!
Now what's he saying that did wrong?
She says she can't she goes look I have to admit you came up a dinner and the reason it came out is because well I'll let the other girl tell you but like you heard another girl's feelings and she's like
geez
Teddy goes look I'm fine to just let it go and she goes oh
Thank the Lord!
Like she's not the one, yeah, so...
And then Doreet's like, I think I'm going to change my glass now.
Look at this thing.
Oh my goodness.
I'm drinking Rise out of a wine and glass.
Rise out of a wine and glass.
Rise out of a wine glass.
Welcome to the...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, hello! So in to save the day day comes Rima.
Hi, hi.
Hello.
Wow, five stars.
What a backyard.
Those charariums.
Harry Hamlin was also on a was almost in a Jurassic show on TV, but it was that fax he was
in Canada that day.
Missed it And then it got to Doree who's now be like do you mind if I switch glasses and drinks and pump rosé
I just I feel like I shouldn't be drinking wine out of a champion glass
Is that okay? I'm like she's really looking for this glass. I mean weird
It's like trying to rely and Rin is like oh I get it. I would feel the same to read like yeah
It's the wrong glass. I mean I guess I get it. You know same to read. Like, yeah, it's the wrong glass.
I mean, I guess I get it. You know, I'm with you to, would you? It's the wrong glass
I'm modified. Okay. Well, I'm with you there. Thinking that she just made a mistake. I think
and got the wrong glasses. She's totally agree. Rina does not agree to it. She just brought
over a bottle of wine with a wine stopper. Yeah. It was, it wasn't even wine.
It was schlitz.
And Rinno's basically like, I would feel the same, I think.
And by, I think, meaning if I were a dumb idiot, like you,
Dread, I also would feel the same.
She goes, I understand things in glasses, but I don't give a shit.
Plus, I'm from Oregon, so I drank my alcohol out of a red
solo cup. Ha never find him again.
So, Dorit's like, you guys, I'm gonna rent out a yacht for PK's 50th birthday.
Would you believe it?
He's never had anyone plan a party for him his entire life.
Not once has anyone ever done anything for him on his birthday.
I'm like, listen to it, I hate to break it to you, but you've been margine for a few years, so...
Yeah, it's a bit your fault.
It's a bit your fault.
Yeah, you're confessing to be a horrible fucking wife.
He's never had anyone plan a birthday for a minisolive!
I'm getting to York, Frank Sinatra, a bat car!
It's gonna cost 19 trillion dollars!
Oh my god.
You guys, here's the plan.
I want to put up black curtains all around.
Marina Del Rey, and we'll tell everyone that part is closed because there's a huge mold issue.
Okay? And then we'll arrive.
And when PK gets there, we'll drop the curtains and we'll be like,
Boy George, mold is not there, passing birthday.
You know she's just going to be standing in front of an aquarium at Red Lobster.
This was $18,000,000,000,000.
It's for the seafood lover and you guys.
And the dessert, uh, Rena.
Oh, thank you.
Cheesy biscuits.
We're gonna have a pop star there.
Popcorn shrimp,imp as a name.
So we're invited over a friend.
Doesn't normally perform at Red Lobster,
but his name is Blue Man onion.
His great, great band.
Hopefully his brother Long John can stop by.
I'm saying that.
Hopefully it won't be too cold in there.
I hate it when it gets too chillies.
Mm.
You know, the apple never falls far from the tree.
Doesn't go to the beach.
Applebee, we're like, okay, don't read.
Applebee.
Applebee.
Applebee.
So yeah, she says.
Remin's just trying to be supportive. She's like, last time I called Lisa's
A.B. role replacement and woman abuser. So I'm just gonna go along with whatever you say.
P.K. is gonna love that and she goes, it's gonna so bad.
I love to see my husband cry. So yeah, yeah, so she's like, gosh, it's gonna
be. You're so stupid. So stupid. I know my cousin Jenna's over. She just came here to visit
from Austin. I'm like, this will take 10 more minutes. So dude, it's like, guys, it's
gonna be like, God, it's gonna be black. It's gonna be black. It's gonna be black.
And Teddy's like, yeah, I'm uncomfortable with black.
I'm like, shut the fuck up, Teddy.
You're uncomfortable with black.
And why?
And why?
Yeah, and why?
Tell the people around.
Why?
Because I'm not a person who focuses on aesthetics.
I'm like, you have an aesthetician here.
What are you fucking talking about? She's like, so if it's about a certain
look, I'm really uncomfortable. I'm like, you're having a Botox party lady. Yeah.
You're talking about it. This is not like no one's asking to like put up a giant painting
of vagina on your wall and like making you feel uncomfortable about, you know,
you know, art or something. It's just a dress code. It's just black tie. It's nice. It's
nice dress up once in a while. It doesn't mean anything about like, it's not, it doesn't,
no one's having to say like that when you show up, you have to admit that you are from,
you know, the wealthy part of Hiltonette. It's okay. You can get into a tux or you're not
even in the tux. It's Edwin. Okay. You're just going to wear a black dress. Okay. Just
come on. Or you're not even in the talks it's Edwin okay, you're just gonna wear a black dress okay just come in the word shirt That says how I'm cutting and then Rina of course is like oh
Yes, I love black tie
I love black
Big big
Time I love like she's cheering
She literally won't shut up about how much she loves black tie
She's like there's a grasshopper. Yes, baby. I love a grasshopper. You don't like a grasshopper. I hate grasshoppers, dude, baby
Chimney cricket baby
So
Vanderpuff arrives and she's like hello. How are you look to reach us here on time if he calls Danny shit to read give it
Look to reach is here on time if he calls then he shit to read give it
Oh my god, I wonder what's a literal literally sir. I got it
so So yeah, so so so so band-a-pum makes a joke about to be being on time and Rena is basically like
I'm staying out of it wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there was about me
It's not about me. No, no wouldn't me like the song
The closet
Shaggy
Shaggy the shag I got the Rina shag
So Vander Prompers like that never stopped that never stopped you before, not being about
you. And she's like, oh, I don't know what you mean. I'm good for the moment. How good?
How dare you give how dare you give Lisa Vander Promp to read's voice? Oh, did I? Yes. Sorry.
I was getting hot. So I turned on a fan. I was concentrating. And then I was like, well,
I'd have one cancer because this is blowing out like black sand at me. And then I was
like, you have five vapes in front of you and a whole pack of cigarettes.
Might have some brain fever.
With me.
It wasn't me in the closet.
It wasn't me.
It's like past that.
It wasn't me.
54 minutes for Teddy.
It wasn't me.
Yeah, so Rina is just on this weird repeat thing.
Like she's way too excited about Black Tie.
She's just acting like typical cuckoo bird.
So she's like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
I'm good. Lisa Vanderpump. I'm good.
Vanderpump goes, what does that mean?
She goes, I have no beef. I don't have beef with anyone. I don't want to be weird about food
So maybe pretend I said like I have no problem, but nope. I have no beef with anybody
So so Vanderbump is basically I have a beef with you
Ta ta Now a Vanderbump bump is basically like, well I have I read about it. I probably isn't
public consumption. You know, you know, you know, Vanderpump's like, no, no, because she goes,
when is going husband, husband, what your husband?
One that I bring up your husband. When you talking about who?
You're married. Hi, my name is Lisa Runa.
What are you? She's like so obviously, Polish it. Yeah. And Vanderpump's like, look Polish it yeah and bandar pumps like look it's okay darling
It was it was the page 16 it's public consumption now
So if you want to look publicly like you have consumption then that's fine by me darling
You're married. How congratulations. How long has it been what's his name?
So bandar pumps like it's typical old Rina and then Rina's like she doesn't want me to talk about it baby
But you better believe I'm gonna talk about it. She's so upset about coffee
That starbucks. It's like well. I don't know cuz it was a clear starbucks
So I don't know I'm hoping potatoes, but who is? Yeah.
But I love that Vander Prumse are we so wounded.
She's like, typical Rina bringing up something so hurtful.
Oh my God.
Okay.
It'll be fine.
Yeah, it'll be fine.
I know it's a lot of, if like someone you know is in the news,
you're allowed to show up.
Did you guys see this thing?
But I guess it's pretty nice. Hi, hi, hi, sorry, like for much. Okay, you're a lot to show. Be like, did you guys see this thing? But I guess I'm pretty much like.
Hi, hi, hi, sorry, like for much.
Okay, these are Vanderbilt from the beat.
Somebody is getting sued.
Okay, thanks for having me by now.
So Kyle shows up.
She's like, she shows up with basically Erica.
I think she's like, well, I'm not sure I'm sure
I'm gonna put Erica, I might as well make a fashion statement.
So she's in mustard colored pajamas.
And like Erica, it's like a miss to me.
Well, that's Kyle for you.
And then Erica's wearing sweatpants
that probably costs like $90 billion.
And Rin is like,
Oh, you guys are so amazing.
Whoa, look at you.
It's supposed to be casual, look at you.
They're not casual.
What is this, you Oscars?
Yeah. be casual look at you they're not casual what is this y'all scares
I'd like to congratulate the lady from fences
her complex sweats sweats are angry about stupid party so vander punk us how's party. So Vanderpump goes, House Tom, a pain in the ass. When Ken broke his leg, I must break the other one. Get it.
Like,
Yeah,
there's a lot of company.
Gadgets misery.
So,
this is actually when Eric was,
go talk to somebody else, alright?
So this is when Eric was doing that thing, but, well,
it's nice to get over her, so much time.
Not all of them say, um, too many times.
So, uh, and then we cut over to Doreet,
she was like walking up to Kyle,
she's like, Teddy told me that you said that I said
that I left after six minutes,
but I don't understand why does it take so long
for a truck going west to go meet a truck going north?
She's like, look, finally, for the first time in my life, Why does it take so long for a truck going west to go meet a truck going north?
She's like, look, finally, for the first time in my life, I'm not having to talk to Kim.
Wow, when you get stuck in these conversations. Hey, Kyle!
Alright, we'll see, it's trying to go on 50 miles an hour.
But then it ran over a squirrel.
And a rocket ship passed it.
How the-
The balloon! And so Kyle is now just like, I don't want to talk about this. But then it ran over a squirrel and a rock should pass the alpha the balloon
And so Kyle is now just like I don't want to talk about this So she just puts on some octagon sunglasses that make her look like a house fly
So next up is Camille who shows up
Hi
Terrarium eyes
I'm high, I'm high, I'm high, I'm scrolling down to Camille. Where do I have Cam?
I have the queen going.
That's good for the neck.
And then they're fighting about, Rina is like, maybe we should do Phantom from too long.
So Camille walks up and Eric has getting a treatment or whatever,
but Camille goes up to Erica.
I don't know what Erica was really doing.
It doesn't matter.
And she just goes, hi, are you okay?
Yeah, thank you.
I'm okay.
Thank you very much.
Tom's Michael's healing.
Thank you.
Yo, well, here I am time to cut a broken ankle. He's getting on my goddamn day
Rin is like I could use a who-ha tightening
Better pumps like I could help I mean I'm no miracle worker, but had me needed a thread and
Get anything done, darling. Get it!
And somewhere, I just have this, I don't remember the context of why Doreet was saying this, but I just wrote down this quote, Doreet just goes,
honestly, it's the most childish thing I've ever had a conversation about.
I'm like, are you still going on about this?
Are you talking about the glasses or the time?
What are you talking about to read now?
She is still going on because when Camille comes in,
she's being offered service.
Well, they make a bunch of sex jokes, you know?
And then, which I'll just skip over,
because I think we've already made a bunch of sex jokes
in this recap in general.
But while Rin is over there, it's a terrarium section going,
cute, oh my God, terrariums at the terrarium section going cute. Oh my god terrariums hi terrarium
Those are crazy
It's like a little world which is flowers
What she's doing that Doree is talking to somebody and she's like, I think I need to pull over
Can he for a talk is it bad when she's getting services
for a talk? Is it bad when she's getting services? Doreet is now wasted. So whatever glass who was drinking out of got her just as drunk
as normal four glasses of champagne would get her.
Yeah, exactly. So she just walks up to Camille. Who's trying to relax? And she's like,
Camille, you know, I've got this stupid sense of humor. It's just a stupid silly sense
of humor. Camille's like, yes, your hair is just very stupid. Yeah, I agree. No, it's not a sense of humor.
No, I would never ever ever ever. I mean, I didn't mean anything guys. I totally appreciate you being upset.
But just a silly moment in a silly joke and I just have very do your opinion sense of humor guys
And I'm sorry, I can feel come you my humor's like one toilet for a million people on one floor to share at the end of the whole way
It's your opinion get it came you
Come you'll say good geez came you'll sit up. She's like I'm not gonna have this conversation lying down
Okay, I learned that with Frazier you you are not gonna trick me to becoming season one Camille
Yeah, exactly. Camille's like, you know the real problem was it was to see word and you know the godfather thing
And she's like the godfather. I love that move
What's it out of Puccino women do to you?
Most of the Acropolis still being ricks the crust the gold for that one
It was when you said be a godfather and get a strap on
Got to do read just
Do you think oh would you like me to take the orange out of my mouth? I thought I would try to put the cardfather.
She's like the cardfather.
Well, if we're not at PK's birthday yet.
Camille, leave the gun, take the canoley. That's my advice to you.
She goes, she actually goes, oh, that's silly joke.
Well, when I say dumb things that have been someone I apologize?
So here I am, the codfather of apologizing to you, Tata Sas.
And Camille goes, you know, Camille's like,
it seems sincere.
I mean, she seems shamed,
but I don't know if I could have a relationship with her.
I don't know if I could have a relationship with her. I don't know if I could trust this woman.
Like, welcome back, Season 1.
Exactly.
Maw. Maw.
Maw.
Obserting.
And then Doree goes,
Well, that wasn't the coldness glamour circle I've ever been to.
Meanwhile, Lisa van from still lying there. Did you know that she goes,
she tells you a situation,
I'm just here to relax,
just a hand massage is fine.
Yeah, I'm here to help.
Yeah, because you're really uptight.
She goes, I'm not a tight.
You asked for only a hand massage.
That's like the least the smallest thing that they could do.
And no one ever saw that as a petition again.
Yes.
That bit is dead now. It's like dried beef jerky being served to,
you know, adopt e-dogs. Yes, exactly. Well, um, oh my god, you know what? We did it.
But you know what though? We really, we didn't really finish it. You thought we,
you thought we did it. It didn't show. Oh, what? What? Today is Wednesday. and on Wednesdays we have
Listen to spotlights. Oh, nice. Hell yes. Okay. Well now I have an I love it. Let me actually download the listeners
I know I just remembered right now. It's a very professional podcast
This has been just one of the most difficult recordings of all time because I everything here
It is my name is Benjamin O'Toole, King Edmunds Cohen.
And from the victims of Geraldine Parts and Smith board where I published nonsense,
a lot, I'm pretty prolific with that.
You may know me from the crap in Mailbag where I have submitted such questions as, well,
what does Juliet and Giselle like?
And how do I tell my whistling co-worker to shut the fuck up?
Just like that?
Yes, I know. Everybody loves it.
Wow.
I just wanted to say that my fan for Ben and Ronnie goes back to 2015.
I was working at a hospital in Boston and I needed something to do and I
was reading stupid housewives and they recommended watch what crap ends and that's how I fell in love.
I used to listen when they were two days a week and let me tell you, their affinity for going on about nothing is as strong as ever.
It happened during the Boston show.
They hit the hard out at one hour and 15 minutes and we didn't even get to finish the episode
because it was so much fun.
Crappin's fans are the hype-est fans.
I actually let you know that if you haven't been around them. We were
allowed, we were grooving out to Sheik Say Lovee and Good is Gold before the show. After the show,
we bond the Sinclair where the show was and the management wasn't happy. One of the security
guys was like I've never seen so many people take a hard right which is where the restaurant was
was like, I've never seen so many people take a hard right, which is where the restaurant was after a show.
Yeah.
And Ronnie are rock stars.
And if you don't believe it, watch them enter a room and then watch everyone in the bar
run to them.
Like the freaking beetle showed up.
Well, I think that's about my time.
That's two minutes.
So I want to plug my podcast. I got a podcast
I'll be always posting on the Facebook page and
Hopefully I'll see Ben and Ronnie in Denver. Oh
The next show I hope to go to so
Toodles, toodles well love your Benjamin Cohen and we love you to Lisa's walk to Rets over at trash talk TV
And those two yeah
They have a podcast called daggers out podcast. Yes, everyone go listen to that podcast
I think the name is funny, which is why I left when he said daggers out podcast
I like that because you like daggers reminds me of New Zealand diggers diggers
Yeah, we we always support our listeners. We have their own podcast etc
We support them so go listen because a rising tide lifts all the boats
And it was really cool to find I like that saying
It's a really rising tives rising tives are not good. Well, they let all the boats
Like this world. Yeah
In this world of natural disasters happening every other week
Yeah, probably not good.
Well, just not too high, but you know what, we're here for high boats.
High boats.
We're here for you Ben Cohen.
Thank you for all the support over the years and it was so great to meet you in real
life this week.
Yeah, he was slow adorbs.
Yeah, thank you for, thank you Ben and everyone for coming to that Boston show and for anyone
who's interested in doing the listener spotlight
We kind of kind of fell right into this segment today because the audio started playing very quickly faster than I was expecting
You just go to patreon.com slash watch or watch or crap ends
And if you support the show at the listener spotlight level
You two can have your voice heard on the podcast. So that was it for this week's Listen Spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. I didn't want Ben going to
not get the theme music. So you guys, Mr. Spotlight's back.
What feel renewed? Thank you so much for that Ben. This was super fun. We'll be
back tomorrow to discuss the premiere of Summer. We love you everybody.
Thank you so much.
Bye everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
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