Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Rubber Panda Don't Give a F**k

Episode Date: April 11, 2018

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spend their final day in Berlin hanging out with a panda bear and waiting on Erika to lube herself into a rubber top. This week's bonus is a chat about RH...OP and the return of Trading Spaces. For all of our bonus episodes and other goodies, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to Chicago, San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and Atlanta! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Starting point is 00:00:13 Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. So, this is the very beginning of the podcast, where I usually come on here and chill about our Instagrams and all that crap forget that today today You know my cousin Jenna. She has a fine husband named Reed R E ID read umstata Read umstat is on the voice this season and he is killing it go onto iTunes and download his stuff He's doing so good voting is not begun yet, but when it has begun,
Starting point is 00:00:46 I will come back and beg you to vote. But no begging is required, the man is amazing. And he's hot, so go to iTunes, go to the voice stuff, it's in the rock section, it's number two today, which is amazing in rock. Read Amstata, I love you brother, win it, win it. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past.
Starting point is 00:01:12 I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. I've been running for the past. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Christy Wowardy-Dowardy.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Bird. He can't have a burger without the bird. Jess Sayon. OK. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. And our super premium Patreon subscribers
Starting point is 00:01:48 Kelly Grant big grand master give them home miss no well and Lizzie Drucker a fun mother fuck. We love you guys Hello and welcome to watch what crappin's the podcast aboutie Brister. Ben Mandelker, the Beeside blog and the Banta Blender. Hello, urban. Howdy, duty. How's it going? I don't know, Mr. Starrpicky! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this podcast don't let it get dirty before you put it back up again, P.K. I'm in a crazy place right now and I don't even know what's going to come out of my mouth over the course of the next hour and change for this podcast. But what I can say while I still have a little shred of sanity P.K. is that we are doing a live show this Sunday at the Irvine improv in Southern California, Orange County in fact, which is why we are going to be covering
Starting point is 00:03:15 a classic episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, one famously colloquially known as the Naked Wasted dinner party, where Tamara gets Gretchen wasted and tries to get her to spill the beans about who knows what. Amazing episode, we're covering it. If you want to come see us, we still have some tickets on sale for this Sunday April 15th. Go to watchacrapans.com and find the links there to buy yo tickets. Yes. And for today we have the real housewives of Beverly Eulin here. Beverly Eulin, oh.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Darling, as they sing and belin. Duzzing! I love dogs, but I'll make tacos with bitches, darling. Um, I love dogs, but I'll make tacos with bitches telling I love dogs. I'm just don't care much for schnitzels So we open still in Berlin and you know we're in for a really exciting episode When the editors are like forced, just are making threes come for these storylines to open the show.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Because all we hear is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like sex. And Mr. Ferley is listening at the door of a Berlin spa, thinking that Jack is actually having a threesome with the girls and he's gonna find a way to get them evicted. Just kidding, it just turns out we're in a spa
Starting point is 00:04:43 and running to read or getting a massage. That's right. One of those crazy high jinx guys. It sounds like a masturbation scene, but it's really just the fluid massage. Yes. I don't know if anybody told Brennan because she's like leaking her lips when she is in a parno, which was weird. Masterbait baby. We have no Lisa Vanderpump for the first half of this episode because she left early for you And although I tend to think she left because she found out that that Berlin is the home of Stasi Stasi's yeah, okay, I'm leaving Oh, Stasi after all you've done, you know and
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yelling at me and What you did in World War II and like, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's like, what this starcy's been listening to everything I've said? Well, that's enough I'm leaving. Well I know Stasi wasn't responsible for this because the last thing she can do is keep her secret. Get it, service! keep on secret. I have destroyed the stasi with my own logic. Guaranteed. I'll show the secret police who's the secret police because all my information's in my manila folder. Business.
Starting point is 00:06:00 I was going to say secret service which makes no sense No The most stossiest battered secrets and service Which is why she doesn't guard the president while he's in Berlin And she serves terrible gazpacho No, at least that's the gaztapo Well neither one was very tasty, let's face it Chef Joe, change that item on menu We are no longer serving Gestapo. It's Gestapo. Gestapo Super sir. I just want to make sure it's as cold and lifeless.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Any K would be so happy. Wow so that's what you're in for guys. Yeah, we're coming at all. Two different types of secret police. Yeah, and the secret service. And Gaspacha. So welcome. Welcome to what happens. So to re-attack, yes, boy, Linus. Like you're not spoiling us.
Starting point is 00:06:58 You need to get the shit off my scene. And for those of you who keep constantly saying Vanderpunt needs to be off the show, this is what happens. Even the editors are like, fuck this. Let's just play some bass-soon music. It's like, yeah. And there's Kyle and Teddy in the lobby waiting for Erica. And I'm like, like, let's just revisit that scene from 20 million episodes ago. Teddy waiting for someone. Let's make it Erika at this time. And they're like, ah, waiting for Erika.
Starting point is 00:07:29 They gotta go to the zoo. This is what the show has come to. Erika invited us to the zoo, but she's like late, so relate to the zoo. I'm like, wow, what a centrelating episode so far. Yes. And Teddy's, of course, upset, which, I mean, the whole reunion is gonna be Teddy just giving
Starting point is 00:07:47 people dirty looks for being late with her little dinosaur hands, and that's it. Yeah, so I'm going through something weird right now. Have you ever had a dream about someone Ronnie and then like, the whole next day when you think about that person because it's like a vivid dream, you like, it like creates an emotional response, you know, like you feel like you're the warm about them or whatever, because you're like, oh, what, you feel like you just hung out with them had a great day, let's say,
Starting point is 00:08:12 and you're like, oh, no, that was my dream. So I had a dream that I went to, Palm Springs with Kyle Richards. So every time we mentioned Kyle, I'm like, oh, Kyle, my friend Kyle. Oh, my God. You know, I'm getting that feeling. I'm like, Listen, I'm going to defend Kyle today because she's my friend in my dream. She's like, welcome to Palm Springs. It's so good to be friends with you. Here's your, here's your party favor. It's Kim's house. We put agency signs all over it.
Starting point is 00:08:42 So back to the spa to reach like, just here I like the spa and Rene is like Harry Harry's a wilderness man if he could live out in the wilderness without us He would I mean maybe miss us but I mean the wilderness I mean the best I mean there's the best right there there's a target spot It's you're talking about Canada could you stop acting like it's a wilderness, please? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Jim. Yeah, she, I mean, she thinks going on like Beverly Boulevard
Starting point is 00:09:14 instead of Beverly Drive is the wilderness. She's like the other day, he insisted on driving on rodeo instead of rodeo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I was like, ring, don't forget your first aid kit out there in the wilderness. And to read it's like, well, a PK is more of a five star hotel. The sound is the only place he likes to be alone. I'm like, really? Do you have one of those host things in there? I would figure he'd love some help in there.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Yeah, and then we cut to a scene of Doreet being interviewed and she has to she's interrupted by PK and she's like, all right, PK. I need to call you later because I'm doing something right now. He's like, all right, babe, you call me about five minutes, five minutes. I think it might just be a call, babe. I didn't get the text this morning. I can't even get through with my day change the bikinis again. All right. Bye. Never. Never. I've changed your bikini line into a book. I like that's all right. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:12 All right. Go on. Bye. Bye. I think that's a good book. A line and the reeds like so they're so bored. I mean they're talking about their husbands and neither one of them seemed to even know their husband. Harry's like in a rift somewhere in PK's like sleeping in the backyard. And the rate's like, it's nice that you know, have a moment to ourselves with each other. Look at this, me and you. Don't you think we've earned it?
Starting point is 00:10:37 I'm like, you sure have. Yeah. Lane-ass. So then we go to the zoo where we see buffaloes and seals and everything like that and then Kyle and Teddy they're still winning for Erica because basically they decided they decided just to leave the hotel. They're like all right we're leaving the hotel and now 20 minutes later in the earth the zoo just waiting for Erica to come more and like the the story continues though I'm on the edge of my seat will they ever make it inside the zoo? I don't know. Yeah. How is it showing anybody any kind of lesson when you're just waiting for them in a different location?
Starting point is 00:11:10 Let's just wait for there instead of here. At least you have air conditioning and leather chairs to sit in over there. There's a gun of ranger 10 that's like well, they said they were gonna be at my cage at 12 30, but they're not here yet. I wonder what I should do. I'm a ranger 10. at 1230, but they're not here yet. I wonder what I should do. I'm a ringer, Tim. I mean, the fact that Kyle stands out there and takes selfies with statues of elephants and doesn't even bother attacking them large march. I mean, look, what a waste of time, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:11:33 You're wasting my time. So Erica does show up and she's like, I'm sick of the dog. Get it? That's an animal reference. Cuezzoo. Hey. Someone call.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Just a projection of Lisa Vanderpump and the clouds. Here I am looking over you. Where is the sick dog show her to me? So there you go, so there you go. Well, I have to go because the Zoo has pandas on loan from China. Who can resist the panda? No, Grylls, likeuhas pandas on loan from China and who can resist the panda. No, Kyle's like how many pandas are left in the world? And he's like it in a hundred and she's like oh my god only 1800 pandas left. Oh my god only 1800 pandas
Starting point is 00:12:18 left. Because they're really picking this so up huh? You're really ending up You're really ending this season with the bang, eh? Well, they're gonna do their part and I'm gonna do my part by going to Panda Express after this That counts maybe that city meant there's only 1800 Panda Express is left in food courts across the country No So sad Well, they're bad don't be fooled. They made me cute about the really fierce You can call me fierce all day long Can we just wrap this up can we have this be a 13 episode season please? Errocas pontificating about panda bears. Well, the thing is with panda bears, the black and the white.
Starting point is 00:13:08 And occasionally they're even red. That's not the top of panda bear we're talking about. We're talking about the black wild ones. They like to eat bamboo, the bears. The black and white, like a black and white cookie. I bet it a Jewish guy once. So he'd be like, oh, I hated my slong dog. No such thing as a chip-to-hawai, man, but maybe we just haven't discovered it yet.
Starting point is 00:13:30 There's fierce bears and bears in a fierce which way does the bear chuck chuck wood? What chuck, man? Now there's also a black bear. Was a black. Guys, I can't really black bear so much in the world just make this episode and already so we go over to Road the episode the episode is just Eric are going on going on a safari looking for bears one two well
Starting point is 00:14:02 Oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the
Starting point is 00:14:20 the the the the the the the the Um, I play with bears. Bears scenes when I go on bears. So far, it's not a real thing. But we're gonna bring it to Alaska. We call it Erica James. Bats. I'm gonna go and go look at bears and look at fish. Looking at fish jumping in the bears mouth.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I feel like you're super fish. Why are you jumping in the bears mouth? That's what fish do, you see? Have you ever tried to do a triple time step and piece up? Mom, I'm picking up a piece of bamboo with the opposing in front of a bear shell. Huh? Have you?
Starting point is 00:14:45 You have to start about the three bears There are three bears one two three they actually have bad their comfortable beds You're about to bear You got cut off skype was like I'm sick of your bear chick Well, to go Ben Ben you left to me? Is your my keep for I just for that. Oh there you go. Yeah, my little bears return to the cave I'm here. Did I lose you? I'm here did I lose you I?
Starting point is 00:15:18 Didn't hear you I was just going on Jewish bears Did you hear me? Well your Jewish bear segment has been cut from the show. I just had a whole really wonderful rant about how the balancing bears were Jewish bears. They sell the Russian on the New Year's and September. But I did an arachijane voice, which is funnier than me doing it like this. Oh, for Christ's sake, well, everything's ruined now. So I know. We're going to the spa.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Let's go back to the spa. There's no hope left for me. Let's go back to the spa. There's no hope left for me. Wow. Ren and Dorita are just like, okay, there's like literally no treatments left in the spa. So now what should we do? Let's just light on on craftmatic adjustable beds. Yeah, I mean, that's more entertaining.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Like, what's your sleep number? I really want to know, you know? So Ren is like, how do you feel right now about everything? And Dorita's like, I feel good, Ren now about everything? And to read psych, I feel good. Rinna, but I don't know how Kyle feels. I feel she wants to sort things out with me. Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Denna. So go, oh my God, please, let's not talk about this anymore.
Starting point is 00:16:16 So I love you. I love this. So and it's killing me. Yeah. It's the show is kind of like Stalled out here and it's in its final victory lap before the season ends and I'm like or you know the final chapter I should say like it was I thought was going what going well all season and just kind of is Sort of teetered out here and I'm like lumping to the finish line
Starting point is 00:16:41 But either way, I mean the good news is For all the talk about pandas, we did get to see a really adorable panda, which made me happy. Yeah, I'm really like, Oh, God, we have to go on another boat. I hate boats. So Teddy and Kyle put on robes in their room and Kyle's like, I ordered his food just in case we get hungry. Now this is why Kyle, you know, as much shit as I give Kyle on
Starting point is 00:17:05 this show, this is why I know that we'd be friends in real life. She's always thinking of the good things in life. Like, yeah, we need, what if we want to eat before dinner? Yeah. That's my girl. Yeah, exactly. So Kyle's doing Teddy's makeup, which, you know, that's, that's what this show is come to. There's not even a glam squad it's Kyle it's like I don't know I uh there's just something sad to it just they had nothing left to do except do each other's makeup and that'll tell a room yeah and then Teddy's like yeah I'm Teddy so it's like so nice that someone do my makeup yeah I wonder if Erica wants to talk to me because she said she did want to talk to me but I don't know if it's about you know fake amizzo or if it's about making me cry that time on my kitchen when she moved to a double tree But she was she was nice at the zoo, but you know if you're nice to me. I'll be nice back
Starting point is 00:17:56 Like you know a panda bear isn't like a real like vicious bear, but I'll take it. I'll take it So dinner time and Rina has a little black dress on and a jacket or something I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the
Starting point is 00:18:18 music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music, but I'm not a fan of the music but I'm like Teddy, why are you making even this moment boring? Why are you doing this to us Teddy? Yeah, you don't need to bore up this moment, okay. We're just like, I'll just wear a blazer. I thought it's a blazer.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I don't make it a dress. It's not a blaster. It's a pair of freight spree-dispheres. No, not still a blazer. Not quite a buster. It's a paraphrase pretty spears. No. Not still, not still a blazer. Not quite a duster. I'm I place it again. Hit me blazer one more time. So they're waiting for Erica again who's like an hour late and Teddy's like, I mean, thanks for providing us. We loved coming on this trip, but at a certain point there has to be a level of respect.
Starting point is 00:19:10 You know what I mean? Like you already ate Teddy. Just shut up over there. Like Erica's more interesting and she's not even on the screen. Yeah. And read so why do they put some us in the drinks in Germany Yeah, yeah, the big drama is so You disappeared again from me Ben what's going on over there? You'd disappear to again Ben I think connection issues you've disappeared like five times on me already you disappeared on me Now you're on me Well, we had some technical difficulties, but here we are back in the share. Oh my goodness Oh my goodness. I'm glad we got that fixed up and you know it while while we're having that break fixing our technical difficulties
Starting point is 00:19:55 I'm proud to announce I got looped up and put the baby pattern on so I'm ready to go So I'm ready to go. Oh, well, you know what to do? A little maybe fatty, you know, ready for rubber drives. Oh. So anyway, so the big drama is, are they going to make it to the boat? Are they going to make it to the boat? Because Eric is not there. And we don't know where Eric is.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Should we leave now? Should we wait? Should we leave? I'm like, the boat's not going to leave without you. Okay. You guys are the only guests on it. It's been chartered by Bravo. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:20:24 They want you all to bore us at the same time They don't want to have a separate vote for her good before us, okay? So they even the poor editors have to make that a drama because Kyle's like boat people We have a friend and she's late can we wait for her and then goes DUN DUN And then it looks at the there's like a close up of the people who work at the boat and they're like sure Great drama like you guys got that women there
Starting point is 00:20:49 So then we go to Meanwhile on the drive over to the boat Kyle and Doreen start hashing out their issues The it's and it wasn't like even the hash it was like are you fine Kyle? It's like yeah, I mean I feel like I'm fine. I feel like you're fine. I'm fine. So we're fine, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. I was like, I've just considered it clear, but please never talk about it again. And I'm like, okay, she's going to talk about it in five minutes. Yeah. It's like, I'll end to reach the two who will never, ever, ever let anything go ever. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:20 So air comes out finally and she's like, leave it up to me. You know what, a pull out latex in belib. Like, yeah, you know that crazy personality of yours. And then my favorite moment of the entire episode. So Erica emerges from her car in this bright red latex thing. She's got like a very austere haircut, like these bangs and a ponytail. And she's just her makeup is all done and she's just
Starting point is 00:21:46 she's just very like German avant-garde artistic you know ready to make a statement. She steps out of her her car the car and starts walking towards the boat and like the moment she takes one step you're and some guy on a bike just like nearly just rams into her and she just sort of stops and he just continues on and she just sort of says I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, she just gets like the dirtiest look ever like, the one respects rubber, the style. It was really, really like the autostro. This is the most relatable latex, the powder. It just was one of those great moments of like everyday life,
Starting point is 00:22:29 deflating what was supposed to be a grand artistic entrance. Yes. Oh, it's so Erika's life, you know. That's how everybody's life on this show lately, which is kind of enjoyable, I have to say. They're like, look at the skyline, isn't it gorgeous? And Rin is like, God, I hate boats. I hope it's different thing, Hong Kong.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I'm like, you are the one who started everything on that fucking boat. Can we pretend, can we just stop pretending that you did not start all of that? Boats, right? Am I right? Guys, boats. Like you are the boat terrorist, okay?
Starting point is 00:23:02 It's like the villain in Speed 2 being like, God, I hate boats. The party trying to crash the boat terrorist, okay? It's like the villain in speed two being like god I hate boats They're why are you trying to crash the boat villain in speed two? Hey villain in speed two How about you get a license before you start taking over cruises, okay? It should be called speed to cruise in control So they're like Erica came and say I made it I'm about everything's fine Everything's fine And Teddy's like um, I'm just a regular person. So like I see rubber and I think of sweat
Starting point is 00:23:38 Great thanks. So it's kind of like sorry. We left you there. She's like sorry We left you there and Erica's like sorry we left you there and Eric is like Here's the thing you had to do what you had to know it's my fault not yours Okay, we're gonna all just keep acting like this. This shows canceled. Okay. I know it's like a little bit too much accountability coaching going on here Yes, so Eric is like I'm clearance people to travel your Your mind grows, your heart grows. You nipple shrink from the rubber, but, yeah, that's up to you. That's a, it's a personal creature month.
Starting point is 00:24:12 What, Eric is just like that to advice to the people. Yes. That in this rough oil travel ball. It's like, girl, we all, we don't all look out on our denny shifts, like you did. If you're looking to be part of the Kim Kardashian extended universe you just have to travel more and I see a note there's a drawing of you in a game on a phone. You don't really know what to do with it but there's there there is
Starting point is 00:24:36 little girls all over the world have paid for me to be on their phones. So the boat starts heading down the spree and Teddy's like, I love how much they light up the city. I was like, okay, this is the most boring boat ride we've ever had. It's official. Teddy's like, anybody want to guess what the electric bills are in this city? Look, light. Then Erica, as if she knows that everybody's falling asleep at home, she goes, Oh, my nipples. Oh, I
Starting point is 00:25:07 I I I hope we're something like that. Yeah, what happened to Erica? I don't know. Well, it takes a lot. You know, yeah, about two of the guys holding up like a nipple strip, my nipples are hard. They're straight. They're quick as round.
Starting point is 00:25:20 It's, uh, it's all it's fashion. It's palette. Yeah, I have a gaze. Live up my nipples. That was funny. And I keep showing, uh, it's odd, it's fashion, it's palette. Yeah, I have a gay, it's live up my nipples. That was funny. And I keep showing, um, a close-up of the bartenders pouring shots, like one after the other, which usually on these shows implies, uh-oh, the women are getting drunk, it's about to turn into something, someone's about to say something, but it's like, hey, Riddah, take off that coat, let's see what's under the blazer. And we're like, oh, wait, why are we having so much fun on the boat? Is it because Lisa found their pompous and here?
Starting point is 00:26:13 Like no, Lisa, it's because we're not having fun on the bed. And be because you're not accusing people of having co-cabits. Please go back to that, Lisa. That would be great. Please come back. So the women get off the boat and they wind up walking down a dark alley Rina's like, you know, I know my outfit looks like a lady in the night, but I wasn't expecting to really Walked to a dark alley. I had enough it last week at the Holocaust Memorial. I'm in an alley. What is it with this trip?
Starting point is 00:26:43 Dark dark alleys. Get it. Allys is the only place PK likes being alone. So they're all like freaking out because it's a dark alley. And Erica's like, you gotta have to be in that old bitch. If you want to know, if you want to know what they're not known, restaurant is where a way to draw people from the sprockets from Santa That love the right bitch which was mentioned That they do who are contained was all right Mike Erica you have Erica just cuz you have a copy of like
Starting point is 00:27:17 Berlin 2016 voters does not mean that you're in the know. Yeah I'm in the know Lady at the hotel told me about it. I have a, I have a little insight and information from someone in the got. And it says that this restaurant is quote unquote fun and quote quote good for groups, but quote unquote be careful if you want to quote unquote each dinner in a quote unquote time of fashion because quote unquote the cocktail hour is quote unquote awesome quote unquote bitch it's expensive to have a
Starting point is 00:27:53 zagas you guys would be able to find it out of your own if you were in tight with a playbops I have a little something I call Google Maps. It's a special service that's why, hey Erica, you want to know how to get somewhere? I know it takes us 0.3 miles to walk from you to there, but be careful, don't put it off, bubble trot. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast
Starting point is 00:28:27 from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
Starting point is 00:28:48 We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. That's a sensation. Give it a different route.
Starting point is 00:29:12 So they end up in some schrockets restaurant and the waiters were hilarious. When is like a bowl cut and then the other, they were just so funny. They're like German performers artists like hello, do you like the food when you like to look into food and everyone's like what's that what is this what is a something that is all right baby real love of yeah they're like yeah we have a we have lovely drinks here we have something called gin bass or do you want gin bass on do it's like chin, bae-sa? Chin, bae-sa? What's a chin, bae-sa? Chin, bae-sa? Chin, bae-sa? What is this?
Starting point is 00:29:48 What is this? I'm like, listen to you. You're the one with the Jack to back set, not him, okay? No kidding. Why is this everyone in term, and it's Speak Black, then, Mexico? I mean, while they're at this again, very like chic, artsy restaurant offering a chin, bae-sa, special, and cause like, can I have a margarita?
Starting point is 00:30:06 I just like to feel like I'm more at home back where there's a new agency branch opened up. Well just ask him not to make it with the gin cow. I don't mind gin drinks. Now I know that everyone can make a margarita. It just takes squeeze in some limes, making some simple syrup, some tequila tequila things like that salt, you know Etc. But why is it to me the idea of ordering a margarita in Germany sound scary? I feel like it's gonna come out like It'll just be like some lime wedges with like a spritz of
Starting point is 00:30:38 Of tequila on top like you'll have to you'll have to breathe in the tequila first and then bite the limes. Yeah, at this place, it's just probably some sad, strong-out drag queen, Nina Margarita. Yeah, like a really bad black. Yeah, bad breastplate that doesn't match her skin. Waring a bowler hat on her elbow. It is odd. So, Rinna, you know, for someone who accuses people of doing Cocoal of the time, every time they go to lunch, Rin is like, I'll be in the bathroom. Uh, so she goes to the bathroom and Kyle and Erica are left alone at the table and Kyle's like, you're like rubber. And you're glow. Whatever matters off of you goes into me and I don't give a fuck if that is a drive.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Alright, bitch. Yeah, they, they hog as I'm more, I was expecting Kyle to get zapped by every metallic object for us tonight. Sort of like you in Detroit. Wasn't Detroit? Something was going on. You were magnified in Detroit. Yes, I kept getting shocked on everything and they were so loud.
Starting point is 00:31:38 You could see like a little spark on a couple of them. Okay, they were scared. It was at the majestic like like everything Ronnie touched. I think it's my new shoes because it was happening in DC to. Oh, no, I think it's my stupid sketchers that I got. And you know, I cannot find shoes to fit my feet. So I have to wear whatever there is, which is why I wear round shoes that only come out once every 10 years. Maybe it's that battery pack you installed in your
Starting point is 00:32:01 side. Like I knew I should have installed a module socket in me. I know after all of that tour for being shocked, I actually go by a shocker that shocks me. Like it's a dick, I can get addicted to anything apparently. So they're eating dinner and they're like, guys, guys, I do feel like we need to have candles lit. I don't like unlit candles, right? And he's like, oh my god, that's so funny because like I'm so normal and right horses like all my life that like I can give a fuck if the candles were lit and that's like funny because I'm gonna give you shit for that all our lives
Starting point is 00:32:38 And you're gonna give me a shit for not caring and that's just like the way it goes Yeah, that's gonna be our friendship forever. Candle fights. Oh man, it's just gonna be great. And Darius just looking at her like, trash, you trash. She's like wax on, wax off, get it? Candles. So then everybody is totally bored, right?
Starting point is 00:32:59 So she goes, yeah, everybody is so bored. And they're like, where are we? And what is this Margarita like everyone's confused? What is my Margarita have spits all in it? Girl, I love a spetzal Me too. So I'll make you I'll make you some one day being really you could do call under spetzal. I have no I use Racer spetzal I use a racer. You know what I just got. Sorry. I'mle I use a rice you know what I just got sorry I'm your friend. Can I
Starting point is 00:33:28 tell you what I just got? Oh no, there's so much happening on Beverly Hills. You get possibly let this be it's actually something else. It's actually funny because it's like right before something does actually happen for like a
Starting point is 00:33:37 second, but I'm just gonna say it because I want to say it. I want to share. I want to welcome people into my life. Um, on Saturday, I need to I needed to order something from Amazon and have it be though the same day, so I had to fill out my one day order to get a $35 and I was only at 30. So, I bought a cookbook called Kachka, and it's a Russian cookbook, and it's supposed to be awesome.
Starting point is 00:33:59 And I kind of want to have a Russian dinner party now and finally make use of all those Russian markets between you and me. You know, the world has just become crazy. Now you're actually endorsing colluding with Russians for it. I will. I mean, for a ton of, listen, if, if Donald Trump were working with the Russians to like, maybe get some cookbooks on the market, fine, that's okay with me. Yes, if, was the collusion turned out to be about Papusas.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Yeah. Well, that's Colombian. Well, I think, well, Papus is American Indian and Papusas are actually Colombian, I think. Well, they all store some Russian, they're Southamers. Any potato dish was from the Northamers. That's all the corn. Give credit where credit is due. Russian potato. Russian. No, Russian. Oh, you're the in parogies parogies are Russian Brogie wasn't really no, that's what I was saying I got a side of it because my world making all her dogs food names I know but parogies are spelled weird. They're spelled like
Starting point is 00:35:03 P-I-R-O-S-H-K-I or something like that. Like that doesn't look anything like it. Why would you do that? Except after seeing parogies. Guys, guys, I'm terribly sorry. I just, I don't like spelling parogies with an S-H-K-I. Guys. Can we add an R-O-G-I to that? Thanks guys. Oh my god. That's what we're so different. I love the normal spelling of things I'm like I'm like who's a dumpling like really? Bernstein or Bernstein. I mean Thank you for that call back Thank you for bringing the Bernstein but bearers back into this because I needed that guys that all those bears are like in a hot air balloon. Let's
Starting point is 00:35:43 up with that because I needed that. Guys, all those bears are like in a hot air balloon. Let's put that up. No. Guys, is anyone looking at the hot air balloon? There's like bears above us. Teddy, I'm Teddy. You have distracting from the candle issue. I'm just like so normal. I like normal air balloons, you know?
Starting point is 00:35:57 Just like normal. I'm like, listen, if you're a bear and you want to open a balloon, have fun. Have at it. I'm going to stay down here because I'm normal. But you bears going to balloon have fun. Okay. I'll take it. My favorite... My favorite bear,
Starting point is 00:36:30 Gawse, is the bear that has all that money and goes swimming through it and has the three little duck nephews. Scrooge McBair. Scrooge McBair! Mickey Bear. Bear tails, a woo-woo. Oh, good. OK, so next up is the biggest scene, which is, is Erica on drugs, and how does she always
Starting point is 00:36:52 find them out of town? Because at this point, I'm like Erica's on drugs. Because this is when Erica just loses it for no reason in her calm icy way. So that's what she does in this. She could do it. It's like, I'm bored. Anybody want to fight about anything? And have you seen that magic a dispel? She's rather violent, I think. I think she's needy. I think she needs
Starting point is 00:37:15 love. Candle fight ding ding. What do you... Candle fight, ding-ding? Do you like a Shabbat Candle or a Hanukkah Candle more? Oh, I have what I shall... pretend I'm these... Amdysa? Sure, pretend I don't. I just don't. And then she starts giving these evil eyes to Teddy and just shaking her bangs Where is wrong with you? I know I bet you thought about you I bet you thought I forgot about the pretend amnesia issue, but I didn't that's because I have neither amnesia pretend Or will I'll map everything like an elephant and then Teddy's like well my issue was how you talked to me and she's I don't care You call me a liar. She's like, you said I'm sorry. Do you remember like when when you got mad at me and then I said I'm sorry? She is. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
Starting point is 00:38:13 know. Do you remember when you were at the double tree in the middle of the diet? No. Do you remember putting on rubber? I'm not wearing rubber how they Double tree. I don't remember the double tree, but I do remember seeing some of the gene triple horn That way you're talking about I love gene triple horn Sounds the same double tree gene triple horn gene triple double tree. I can understand the confusion teller So Teddy's like well look here's the problem. I'm not used to people being so aggressive Okay, you have a big ask go ahead say presents. Oh Well, that's boring. I love big presents. I'd be like big presents As time I got me a jet and he's like okay. I got you a jet and you got me a subscription to jet magazine. I was like Tom
Starting point is 00:39:03 You want to come to the center? You want me a subscription to jet magazine I was like Tom You want to copy your liar? Copy your lie, dear. A day, a triple dog day, yeah? Erica, I mean, thank you for making an effort. Triple dog you said, get out of here. Boys, boys, I hear they have panda dogs at the zoo. I didn't get to go because because I was getting the manicure. Are there any that are really cute, but have a limp?
Starting point is 00:39:32 PK, I'm like, PK, life is like a hurricane here in Dogburg, PK. Base cause lasers aeroplanes. It's a dark blur. Get me on an arrow plane. I don't know when I'll be back again. Surely you can't be serious. I'm out of songs already. That's what the show is done to be okay. Excuse me Erica. I speak Jolves Said I went over to airplane the movie I'll do the hand job, baby Erica you scare her you scare the living shit out of her And then Eric is just like
Starting point is 00:40:24 She's like program Mike. He is programmed into her little microwave compartment. You are furious bats You are gonna save this show that she has that right. Thank you. Tell her things about Mikey's controlling her like the giant wooden rat at the end of the great mouse detective They're like why is why is Erica swallowing her fist right now? Mikey's like the mother buzz not wearing that's mother buzz. So there's this really long pause while Erica's giving her crazy robot eyeglair just staring at her and then Rin is like, oh my god She's triggered She's triggered.
Starting point is 00:41:06 I'm not on the boat anymore. How did this happen? And then Eric is like, All right, well, here's the thing. My issue was pretend. My issue was the word pretend, okay? I was hot on ya. I had fun at the zoo with the pandals.
Starting point is 00:41:20 I don't wanna scare ya sweetheart. I'm just a panda. But just believe me in the cage. Don't try and hand me bamboo with your bare hands. I don't want to scare you sweetheart. I'm just a panda. But just believe me in the cage. Don't try and hand me bamboo with your bare hands. You'll lose it. You'll lose it. You see what I mean? You see what I'm saying? You don't know what I sleep with at night. You don't know what sort of pandas I sleep with. And I- But this is why Erica can make you hate her. But then she'll turn it around to loving her right again. Because she goes, well, well she's true I can't shut that tip her off brother I'm adult enough to
Starting point is 00:41:47 know that I'm an asshole yes I I have a wild wild temper just sometimes I just can't help but keep my mouth closed and stare at someone I'm 10 buzz out of control I wish I could turn it Up so daddy's like well she's no really throwing me in all of branch, but maybe it's like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree branch Oh Take it she literally said I'll take it. Yeah She'll literally take it. She's like yeah, I will I want to make some decor So what an air why did Erica say take my play sweet heart and then sucks them? Oh Yeah, I will. I want to make some decor. So what did Erica say take my play sweet heart and then sucks them? Oh, the guy came to take her plate. And she's like, thank you sweet heart. And then she
Starting point is 00:42:33 six or whole thumb and her mouth and sucks it off. It's a kind of misplass. The class. Okay. And then Doreet's like, where wasn't that a delicious meal? Kendra fight and I thought it was delicious meal, Kendall fightin' The blind lie I thought it was... I thought it was a delicious meal. I mean, as delicious as it could be, as a meal in the dark could be. I mean, I assumed I was eating food. I could just be eating my napkin and that dark table without the candlelight.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Anybody know how to spell out lit candles? I'm writing in my trip, not advising it. I wonder if this candle took time, you feel awesome. Seems a bit off. So back in Merca, John is with Vanderpromp of Vanderpromp-Dog. She's like, hello, little gay. And he's like, hi, Lisa.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Just edited a movie, made you an album, built you a new house, and took a hole. Just for no reason. I just like taking holes. It's shaped like Vanderpompos. It's a Vanderpompole I was thinking we could start a new business. You do everything that could get everything I've ever dreamed You're everything Ah do me little mishap branch parody music. I hope you enjoy that go publish it Just how she talks is so funny. I love that she's always in her own self published book, you know with a pink cover She's like
Starting point is 00:43:56 Berlin was a fun trip. It was pep out with differences of opinion and all the occasions Were you writing this for? I'm not even talking about. She's just talking about how she has poo on her hands. She's like, I remember when life was just diamonds and rosé's and that was just poo and Eulin. Diamonds and rosé only poop. Like that's a bad analogy.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Those are her horses. The salt and worts is stupid shit all over the place., John's like, I want to talk about your compassion award and he's like, I don't like awards. I'm just a humble lady with three swans in her front moat and two miniature ponies I got on a cross-country trip I didn't afternoon and a few you know Paws and animals and restaurants and the sun Yes, I don't like awards, which is why it's going to be rough for me to accept the least of Van der Pum compassion of not manipulating things or making spider webs ever award Presented by Vanantapump dogs
Starting point is 00:45:07 I will say it is quite an honor to be receiving the compassionate water As it's been called the least of antipumped compassionate war for least of antipump. It's great honor So glad I created this award by campaign. They give you to me Hit me that dog and your puppy drugs. Mubby drugs, is this a corder, a boy? I don't want to look like I'm rubbing winkies. It's not his birthday. And John's like, we've been on a journey girl.
Starting point is 00:45:35 I'm gonna cry. She's like, oh, shut up, John. Oh my god. That compassionate. So PK and Doreet, PK's like, has my little entrepreneur, baby. Yeah, she's like, P.K. guys, I do see a plane in your future, as in I'm gonna get you some plane yogurt.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Do you like that, don't you, P.K.? This is so weird. What was this? She goes, she goes, I'm completely exhausted thinking about Navabitch. And he's like cannot retire babe And she's like I'll see a plane in your future and he's like champagne and she's like no plane champagne What are you two talking about cut? They're just rhyming. They're just rhyming at that point. They're playing a drink that drinking game
Starting point is 00:46:18 We have to rhyme with everything and then they show everybody's back in town now So they're just like do do do do do do dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Erica's gonna study outfit with Kate surrounding her going, wow! She's like, she is Tanae on the crotch because her thing is like really close on the crotch. And then thank you editors. They cut to an extended crotch shot of a guy at running Canyon. I'm like, thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:41 It's about Tom, we linger down someone's junk. Okay, we see too many breasts and we really need to be seeing more peens shaking around, okay? This is Bravo, okay? No, who your audience is. Thank you for finally showing us some peen bobbin' around that running canyon. That's what the people working on this season are like
Starting point is 00:46:57 left to. It's like, let's just at least see if we can get some B-roll of some, you know, dicks. Yeah, and then we see a little bit too late, I think, some favorite, Nick. It's Kyle's packing up her home and favorite Nick is like, I found some rumpled pink paper. I think this will be great and porous as bedroom. Yeah, I was like, wow, Kyle, not only backing, but backing
Starting point is 00:47:20 with Faye, wow, up to your game. So the song, the song while this is happening is, I don't want to look away. Don't want to look away. I'm in. I'm like, what are you going to miss? Look away. If there's ever an episode to look away, it's this one. And then right when you think it can't get worse, Rin is making tea with her dog. Like, yeah, I really. Are you in Rap Patrol? Here's Rap Patrol? Seriously, I want to eat rats. I'm running over my feet while I drink my tea. The rat is late for our meeting.
Starting point is 00:47:54 He's late for the cheese. He's being cheesy. Get it, dog. Get it. The dog's like, I'm even leaving the room. Okay. The dog. I'm waiting for the rat. I'm waiting for the rat to tell me how my tea is. Here's a really good food critic Get it ready to eat
Starting point is 00:48:12 So Krausek moving his heart is this has been a good luck house. What's that called and face like juju Okay, so let's go to Teddy and her family. This should be exciting We should wait we do have to give a shout out to the editors for giving us a random memory of Kim Richards being like, I love turtle shells because we'll cop with the turtle shells on her ceiling. I love turtles, Kyle. You know, Kim hasn't even had to do anything and I'm sure the whole internet is begging for her back. At this point, bring Kim back, okay? As a matter of fact, just shoot with the whole first season again. Yeah, well, she's probably playing pinball on an unplugged machine somewhere.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Exactly. Bring her back. Just hitting those flippers. Those flippers are. Guess him. I've got your idea, Kyle. I'm just waiting for the ball to come down. I mean, Kim is the only thing in Kyle. Kim is the only interesting thing in Kyle's entire memory sequence. She's like, this is these are the memories of my house. And she's like, hi, Porsche, you want dinner? Look, we sleep in a bed. There's a dog. Yeah, it's like the worst. I mean, Karnie Wilson didn't even make
Starting point is 00:49:15 this cut. I know. And she's cake factory party. Okay. So Teddy and her family, she's like, yes, I may hungry hungry hippo. Get a kids, but I will only be having a salad Accountability They were at ill-tremizino which Ill-tremizino has a great chicken sandwich. It's like what they're known for like if you go to ill-tremizino you get the sandwich and First of all the kids won a pasta which is very on brand for Bravo and second of all, the kids won a pasta, which is very on brand for Bravo. And second of all, Teddy got like a salad and Edwin got like a grilled chicken breast.
Starting point is 00:49:51 I'm like, you guys are doing a little trimisina wrong. You might as well just be somewhere else. And then he's like, Edwin's like, so tell me about Berlin and Teddy's like, oh, there was never a dull moment. Let's just say that. I'm like, it was never a dull moment. Let's just say that. I'm like, it was all a dull moment.
Starting point is 00:50:07 What do you mean there was never a dull moment? And there was mostly because of you. Yeah, and then there was a close up of the pasta. I was like, Bravo editors at work. They know, they know what's up. And she's like, I guess we can stop trying to afford a horse. Yeah, she's like, that's line, that's my God fast forward. FF she just goes, you know, I'm not sure if I want to invest in a horse anymore.
Starting point is 00:50:33 I'm like, well, thank you for introducing this arc and ending it right away. I know she's like, Fanderpump's loading me her thing. And well, I'm just glad it wasn't like a whole season of her horse shopping and thinking about horses and buying horses It was just like okay. We're introducing the fact that she's thinking about getting horse and now she doesn't want anymore great So next actually thank this episode for putting in my favorite character Hanky and showing him just chasing Kyle's gankles Cuz Kyle's walking across the bridge at Villa Rosa and Hanky just stalks her ass the whole way. Did you notice that? Yes, thank you just floats right next to her the whole way and he always does that with Kyle.
Starting point is 00:51:10 He hates Kyle. He hates Kyle. I love it. It's my favorite continuous storyline. So Kyle's like, oh my god, look at this little Ken. It's like Shnucky. Shnucka or whatever. It was. She thought it was a pillow. Oh no, I'm sorry. She thought the other dog was a pillow the first one came up And it's like she's called Ken and the other one she's like, oh my god. I thought this is part of the chair It's an actual dog. It's meckums. Yeah, Kyle
Starting point is 00:51:35 Vanderpromps like I just got back from sad Do you want to say agency a couple of times to make it fair? I got an award for compassion. Compassion, you know what compassion starts with, it starts with a cup as in nanny K. And I was like, well, too bad. You know, I'm compassion for me. I'll be dogs. I'm like, oh, yeah, Kyle, you've really been through a lot. You have shit starter. So are shit, stir fire. Yeah. Kyle's like, well, Lisa, not to make a jealous or anything but while you were gone
Starting point is 00:52:06 We got to meet a panda at least it goes a panda Did you touch it's a wing key? Oh? Did you touch it's a wing? It's a wing key and it's a wing okay I'll never forgive you for seeing a panda without me never Did you tell that panda he wasn't allowed to buy the same jacket as me? Because I did the same for you with a reach, Kongrashon. Ka, Lisa, I just want you to know the panda was saying you were really needy. And I just, I just want you to know that.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Well, that's all right. No, weren't you mad at the panda? Well, our pandas, you know, they're their opinions don't matter. I just think of opinions don't matter. My opinions don't matter. No, think a pin you don't matter. My opinion so much. No, the panda be mad at the panda. Oh, should I be mad at the I'm mad at the panda now? I'm the real victim here.
Starting point is 00:52:52 I'm the one that had the panda saying such terrible things about me. Yeah. The pandas like, can we take a walk? The panda. I'm only here because of your twin brother, PK. Anyway, here's your dress. You start at Sir tomorrow. Panda's like, oh, okay. Where are pussy god?
Starting point is 00:53:16 So proud, cows, cows like, oh, I'm a mess. I'm sad. Everything's just a blur. I'm like, it's because you're shooting advanced pumps house, okay? So only let cameras in when they're covered in Vaseline. It's like, I don't even know how anybody sees in that place. It's like tripping all over the damn place. Sorry. I was looking at a hot guy outside my window. I was like, Hey, well, perfect time to say sure. That's actually bad. Sure. Because fear your brass. Oh, so you see perfect timing for a hot guy to be there. So now all of a sudden, we cut to New York City where
Starting point is 00:53:49 Erica is doing a show at a club. And they're backstage. And we learned that they can't use the smoke that they want to do. And Mikey is just becoming furious. And he's talking to the manager of this gay bar and he's basically dressed like Amadeus like female Amadeus like a lady's and a Marie Antoinette. Oh, it was probably that yeah. They're all dressed like creepy bloody clowns and like this was weird. What was this Halloween
Starting point is 00:54:19 or just like a regular night at the gay bar? Like what is happening? And I've not been that long since I've been out my god. They're all like vampires. Look, I'm a walking one-legged bloody bear eating a baby. Like what the fuck kind of bar is this? I just thought it was funny that this guy was like, can we just do the glitter cannons this time? Do we really need to have smoke with Erica Jane?
Starting point is 00:54:41 And like he's like, no. Yeah. And they're like, well, we make it so special, you know, need to have smoke with Erica Jane and like he's like no yeah and Eric is like well we make it so special you know I'm like a smoke machine Erica come on now and she's like guys you know the book the game everything that's happening to me none of it came to me without being a performer first okay Debbie Reynolds yeah she's like it's really that's a little performance like a fucking Grammy's. I'm like, you're performing at a gay bar. I mean, I, I think it's great that she
Starting point is 00:55:09 takes pride in what she does, but she really, she really acts like she's opening up at Massesward and Harden sometimes. They paid to see me. What do I do? Sell them sure? It's hot and sweaty in here. It smells like a butt cracking. It needs to be wiped out. This is the life of a not club People take top out of the day to come see me like yeah That that guy dressed like an it with a dick in his mouth probably had a really busy schedule today Let me make it with a dick in his mouth Both it's cousin it's and clown it and it's and clown it.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Yeah, so she performs Mike is like, we need towels, nap, bitches, everything. And so she performs everyone's like, yay. And then we go to a place called the trunk club, which is where the Beverly Beach fashion show is going to be and Dreet is stressed. In fact, baby, I'm beyond stressed. I'm beyond stress. I'm beyond stress. I'm beyond say, baby. I'm beyond say. I'm beyond say. Make me some lemonade, becazzy!
Starting point is 00:56:26 Blue Ivy is my daughter. Cory, her blue-havvy. Nah, don't believe in blue-havvy on a dinner table. So Cory, her event planner is like, um, walk me through why you're stressed. As you've been out of town and I've done everything and you've done nothing. Even when you haven't even drawn your own baby suits. What the fuck are you stressed about? Beats, but he didn't say that. He just said, what made you why you're stressed? And she's like, this is the probably the most important function you've done for me. Period. At least since that time we pretended that we had a mold it she could hide boy George which is basically the exact same thing
Starting point is 00:57:06 She's like yeah, I want there to be a curtain and then will tell people that Jennifer Lopez is back there with mold And then will tear down the curtain and that'll be excited that it's boy George, but disappointed the Jennifer Lopez doesn't have mold And then I'll sing Fever. So basically, like, okay, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna have this big thing of fabric up. And then we're going to drop the fabric on the reveal, but we're gonna rehearse it to make sure it works. Guys, guys, what I see is fabric getting dirty. And I don't know if I want the fabric to be dirty. Like, okay, then we won't rehearse
Starting point is 00:57:45 And we'll just we'll do it on a way, man If it doesn't work, we'll just part it. It's like guys no no no guys It's like the most simple reverse psychology totally worked on her But okay, we won't do it. No, we have to guys. We have to Just make sure the curtains cleaned Like country so because like well look here's how I look at it if it didn't drop no one would know is supposed to drop and she's like I want it to drop I promise you'll practice I was like wow they tricked you and well and then I'll claim it real good and she goes is this insane it isn't
Starting point is 00:58:18 seen I want me come back to be noticed to have a big bang theory. I'm like, well, now you're just giving yourself a sitcom. Who are you, Ken? You're more. Yeah. So then Corey breaks the news that the runways are going to be 44 feet instead of 52 or whatever. And she's like, hello, telephones. They exist now.
Starting point is 00:58:39 I'm back from Europe. I'm back from a continent where they don't have candle lights. But we do have telephones. You could do this now, Corey. I could have sworn he said, your runway is here it's gonna be 48 feet and she said on the phone you said 52 hello fancoals and then she goes runways at time if I lost eight feet on the runway it's a big deal and I just wrote that that is such to read math. No she's he said 44 feet. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Yeah, her math was on point. It was a solid display of mathematics. Oh, I'm proud of you Doreet. Yeah, so that was the season finale is next week where we'll see our Beverly Beach fashion show. At long last, I'm sure everyone's excited for that. So we have that. And then this show will most sort of quietly go out into
Starting point is 00:59:27 few reunion episodes and we can sort of put it out to pasture. I think it's, I enjoyed the season but I think it's overstaying it's welcome just a tad. Yeah, I need to rest. Yeah, but before we go tonight or today, we have a listener spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. a listener spotlight. Oh, sweet. Spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. Um, uh, listener spotlight is when we turn the podcast over to you.
Starting point is 00:59:51 We, um, if you support us, uh, at patreon patreon.com slash watch or crap ends at the listener spotlight level or beyond, um, you can send in a nice little two minute clip of yourself talking about, you know, Bravo podcast, whatever. So this is from Mary Hardigan. I love that name because it sounds like a sitcom character. So, I'm so proud again. And who doesn't love a good sweater? That's what I always say.
Starting point is 01:00:16 So let's hear what Mary has to say, all right? Hi, I'm Mary. I'm just kidding. But I am Mary. I'm just kidding, but I am Mary. I'm just as boring as Teddy is. So sorry, I had to start it off that way. I want to say I started listening about a year and a half ago and I absolutely loved everything about it.
Starting point is 01:00:39 That so much that I went back and started re-watching all of the Vanderbilt rules in Real House Ropes New York City back from whatever you guys were recapping and it used to get me through like every single day but it took me a year and I got through all 500 plus episodes and I miss it but now I'm current and I wait for it every single day to pop up on a notification on my phone. And even my over six foot bearded burly man, he also used to kind of watch the shows, but now he watches them even more because he hears the podcast too and it makes him laugh. And it's so hilarious to see this big huge bearded ginger beard actually laughing about it. I love it. And I think it's funny because the one thing that we were on our way to the movies the other day and he was like after he had said when we were
Starting point is 01:01:41 watching it how much he looked like Jacks was doing cocaine. I was like, oh, just wait till you hear them recap this episode. Good job. And he was laughing his ass off. I'm gonna try to cut this short now. I'm coming to the San Francisco show. I am bringing my bestie with me that has been watching these Real Housewives shows also, but she's never heard the podcast.
Starting point is 01:02:07 I got a SPIP tickets. We're coming. Our boyfriends recently decided to come because they thought that we couldn't protect ourselves on Pride weekend over that time, but I think they just want to come to hear about everything. Yes, thank you. I love you. And I'll hug you soon. Okay. Okay. Thank you, Mary. That was sweet. I love that they're like, you're not safe on
Starting point is 01:02:36 gay pride week. No one is safer on gay pride week. What are you going to get hit with a penis? Maybe. The only one who aren't safe with a gay is, you know, gay basures. I liked how Mary's spotlight had a whole like side story going on with the sound effects in the background. And first it was just like gentle birds tweeting. I was like, wow, I was imagining her just being out in the lovely garden. And then all of a sudden it sounded like an Uber arrived. And then there was like metallic stuff happening. I was like, I liked how my vision of where she was was ever evolving as it went along. I know it's like first she was Snow White and then she was Snow White working in like a getting a factory. The like the it was almost like it was Snow White and then like the the seven dwarves arrived and they're in their the seven dwarves arrived and they're like their ride share van, you know, their band pool arrived. Ride share. And then they were like, and but they had like all their lunches, like their bag lunches.
Starting point is 01:03:32 And they were like, oh wait, before we go inside, let's put them in the garbage right here. So good. And I love Mary's little boy. So cute. We'll see you in San Francisco. Mary. And you're not, you're not boring. Don't say you're boring. You're not boring at all. Yeah, I love that she started like that She's like hi, I'm Mary. I'm Mary. I am daddy. So So I'm the big show I think I've been disappeared. I'm here. I'm here. Oh you disappeared for a minute Oh, sorry. Thanks so much for listening today We will talk to you tomorrow
Starting point is 01:04:04 and Oh, sorry, thanks so much for listening today. We will talk to you tomorrow with a recap of Real House was New York City. And don't forget to buy tickets to our Irvine show. And we, of course, are idiots. We forgot to mention the fact that we have all those Taco Bell giveaways. Like there's gonna be a Taco Bell truck there. We're gonna have those Taco Bell sweatshirts
Starting point is 01:04:19 as made famous by Jax. It's gonna be amazing. Taco Bell giveaways all out of Irvine show. We know you want those. Free stuff. Yay! Yeah, everybody. We will see you there. Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about
Starting point is 01:04:56 yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. slash survey.

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