Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Candle With Care

Episode Date: November 15, 2017

The Real Housewives of Orange County finishes out their season at a candle party, in case you’re not already dozing off. This week’s bonus is a recap of our adventures in Mexico. To hear ...it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find this on social media.
Starting point is 00:00:38 On Twitter, we're at what-crapins. On Instagram and Facebook, at what-crapins. We'll see you there. What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Cindy Burgess-Gurson! What an amazing person! Just saying, okay!
Starting point is 00:01:17 Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, We go high-low. Christy Dowdy, the OG Prem Suprins. And our super duper premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the most gorgeous girl in Texas. We love you. Hello, and welcome to What's With Crappens,
Starting point is 00:01:37 the podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about Angiobrovs. I'm Ronny Karam from the Rosepricks bachelor podcast. And here I am, but the gorgeous and talented suite well rested and coming to America, Ben Mantelker of the B side blog and the Vantor blender. Hello, little being howdy duty. How's it going?
Starting point is 00:01:59 Good. I'm just rolling around in my chair and my kitchen for no reason. Like, is there something I like to the junk drawer? Sipping beverages and whatnot. Sipping my caffé bustello. Oh yeah, that's always nice. I just went to Squirrel for breakfast, which is a very L.A. thing to do. I treated myself to some squirrel and I had a nice lovely iced cappuccino that they
Starting point is 00:02:26 call the al puccino but the puccino is spelled like cappuccino. So that's been my morning. Oh, oh, L.A. Hey, would you like to have the sandwich the Maryland Monroe? I'm like, why is this like Turkey and Manny's? Why? I don't get it. How does that make any sense? To be fair, Squirrel also has a beverage called the Laura Palmer, which is their take on the Arnold Palmer, and I really appreciate that. I really, really do. You have to drink it backwards. When it comes to it's already spilled and you're wondering who spilled Laura Palmer? It takes two seasons to finish. So everybody, welcome to the show.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Today is Real Housewives of Orange County. It's the season finale. I feel like they pulled it out for the season finale. I mean, as much as you can at a candle party. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so this is the season finale. We'll be talking about the season finale of Real House as of Orange County, but of course
Starting point is 00:03:26 In case you missed it yesterday We first we started selling our crap as merchandise online. Just go to watchwrapins.com. You find the links to it It's fulfilled by Amazon Prime, which means that if you order it today You might get it as soon as tomorrow or the next day We're not gonna go a lot of you have requested coffee cups and those are coming to rad and like black coffee cups with the logo. So those will be coming in a couple of weeks and we are about to not today, but soon we're about to announce three more tour stops in the new year, which we're three and about.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Oh yeah, that reminds me. I got to send an email about that. Oh God, I'll do that this morning and then I got, I had to go to the doctors that I forgot to send the email. Oh God, I'll do that this morning. And then I got, I had to go to the doctors that I forgot to send the email. Oh gosh, I'll do that right after this. But yes, we are gonna be fingers crossed. We can announce that later this week. Fingers crossed.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Fingers crossed turkeys, because it's almost Thanksgiving. But you know what, you know what I give thanks for? I give thanks for people like Brian Moilin who is just effortlessly hilarious. He's come on our show a few times. He's also a writer for Vulture. He's actually going to be in Los Angeles this weekend as part of the Vulture Festival and he will be conducting a conversation with none other than Ronnie's new best friend, Erica Jane. I believe that's going to be the Roosevelt hotel. LOL.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Okay, for those of you who think that's serious, I chase the bitch down for a picture one time. Yeah. But anyway, if you want to buy tickets for that, Ronnie and I are going to go. And if you want to buy tickets for that, we have a 20% off code for our listeners. It's Erica, that's ERIK20, check out. And then the, there's a link. We'll post that, but basically look up Vultra Festival document. Just use Google, use Google, use Google. Use your Google, y'all. I have already already planned my question if there's a question and answer session. I'm gonna request the song Erica could you do a vocal warm up first please. Thank you
Starting point is 00:05:40 I'm like all stress because I forgot to send that email. Oh my god time is money or money is Girl if time was money we'd be rich as hell No meaning that I'm waste to get everyone's time because I didn't send the email Oh, and who cares emails are emails are for later guys Yeah, that's true. So anyway into this OC Shae away because there is so much to unpack here and our episodes Since we went five to eights a week. We are like, let's make these 45 minutes each. And they're going back to an hour and a half, two hours long. Well, uh, don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Well, I mean, how can one not just talk on and on and on when there's a candle party at play. Wait a minute guys spoiler alert there might be a sandalwood scent. You know Jim never played for the Yankees so why would I ever go to Yankee Candle Company? Yeah we're gonna like to have different team shirts. Yeah we're gonna call ours the carnal candle company. We don't need to be in the World Series. We're in the Card Shop Series. Okay. Well, before we get to candles, we should get to Cotto. No ball on house, Cotto.
Starting point is 00:06:54 No ball on house. Hashtag mom life. That was so... So, so the... So, the... So, the... I'm loving their font. They like took my dad's real estate company font, but then they added, I think a palm tree
Starting point is 00:07:04 to it or something. And I was like, you know what? What a creative use of an old font. They like took my dad's real estate company font, but then they added, I think a palm tree too, or something. So you know what, what a creative use of an old font. Well done, Cotto. Sometimes you just need an old font. It's sort of like at the end of this show, at the end of like real houses of Orange County where it says, Scott Dunlop Productions.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Scott Dunlop Productions is in like a circa 2000 impact font graphic design scheme with like a blue and green lettering. I'm like, okay, yeah, you hold on to that. That fonts that has now been co-opted by memes across the world, you do that. Hold on tight to your font. They're like, we were gonna go with charcoal,
Starting point is 00:07:37 but then we decided impact will be better. So we've been reading comments online and people are like, what the hell are they gonna do for the finale because not much has happened this season, et cetera, et cetera. So I was so happy when we opened with really high drama and Kodo insurance when Linda couldn't work her headset. And Vicki doesn't get it. She's like, my headset doesn't work, okay?
Starting point is 00:07:59 It works if I'm sitting over there, but if I'm walking around over here, how am I gonna get the phone over there? Like, I don't even get how I'm supposed to do this. And Vicky's like, everybody's the headset, that's it. That's it. I have a headset that doesn't work. What am I supposed to do?
Starting point is 00:08:12 Got water and not be on the headset. Like what am I supposed to do? I think there's a magnetic field. I think we need the oranges back, even though they're rotten. I think there were sort of like antennas for my headset, okay Vicky? Why don't you just get a chain and just chain me over there to that desk because that's what this headset is. It's a headset but it's with the wire that changed me. How am I supposed to answer my phone and Vicki's? I didn't want you to say.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I just want you to my as well duct tape a ham radio it's my head because that'd be more affected than this damn headset. Bloody happy. So Vicki's like I don't understand it's about $500 like what the hell? It was $500 asked work I can't answer the phone doesn't work it's your rage your rage must be off give it to me take mine and she goes I'm not wearing this thing she's it's your range when it goes what what it's gonna work better in your year what you think it's my ear fucking fucking after Vicki. Fuckin' out. My ears. I'm not. After Vicki, once Vicki finally gets hers in life, you know, which I'm not rooting for cause I love Vicki no matter what crime she commits.
Starting point is 00:09:13 But whenever she gets hers, I think it's gonna be Linda who does it. Everyone. Well, Linda was the original copyrighter for Verizon. Can you hear me now, Vicki? Can you hear me now? You can't, can you? You can't hear it. You know what?
Starting point is 00:09:27 I don't understand what this is. It's a Verizon. What is a Verizon anyway? Is it a heart-rising or is it vertical? Is this a tribute to vertical horizon? All these years, the telecom conglomerates are as a tribute to a 90s band vertical horizon. Is that what you're telling me, Vicki? Vertical horizon.
Starting point is 00:09:41 What are you talking about? Verizon. You think it's my ear? You think it's my ear? You think it's my ear you think it's my ear you think it's my ear. Why are you telling me to run what's this about sprints what's going on. I would throw back the day to my god damn headset. I don't you know I I've drink coffee I don't want to why you trying to give me some sort
Starting point is 00:09:59 of like mobile tea I don't get this. I was wondering like all of us where the Persian gay has been. So thank God he's here with his friend, Versaul. Oh yeah, yeah. I believe his name is Ali. And Ali has come in with very bright tie and suit. And he comes in and it's like, guess what emergency bird meeting as they all sit down. I think he just talked like everybody he has a meeting with.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I was pretending it was Vicki as in my mind, Ali was walking by and Vicki got out of her. It was like going into the headset. I was like emergency bird meeting. Someone tells him to her headset slash here isn't working. That damn it. Is that my headset? I'm trying to get a hearing.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Why didn't no one tell me about that? God damn, a emergency board meeting. How many times I gotta tell you my ears and my headset don't work. So I decided she's somewhere between Captain Lee and Bethany. I'm living for it. I'm with your evolutionary Linda scale. Like literally what's it going on?
Starting point is 00:11:10 I'm taking a big drink of water. I'm not ignoring you. No, it's okay because I could do Linda for a long time now. I feel like all I want to do is Linda at this point. If I had a nickel, I was this going to be when I get elected to the board of trustees for our coat of insurance. Oh, it's Michael. Oh, you're skipping me over for Michael.
Starting point is 00:11:30 By the way, it's not wearing a headset. I'd like to point out. This happened to my cousin Jackie over in Dallas. Let me guess, he found snow algae. What the new? Well, guess what, Vicki, Guess what I got here. I got a vial of L 22 and unless you make me board member some broads, some broads faceline and Dallas isn't going to get accepted and you wouldn't want that. Vicki, I don't know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:11:58 No, I really have no idea what you're talking about. It's your rage. It's your rage. It's a problem with your rage. It makes so much more sense. I thought they said we need L22 six weeks ago and I thought you need 22 people who are six years old. The headsets fault. Headetsets fault. Elise, like welcome to this board meeting. We've all decided it's the headsets fault.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Thank you, Elise. Is that, and they're like, well, we decided that we want to The Michael you're now a board of trustee for this and John's company, but not only that they replaced a current board member Who was that? I think it was Linda Turns out one of our our our COO is not very good with technology so we're gonna make you we're gonna you're the new Linda Michael president's gotta wear headsets I'm out of here give it to Mike give it to Mikey June so there's no
Starting point is 00:13:00 many in there basically at that this board and Mike's like gives the same look he always does, which is like, why the fuck am I here? And Vicki's like, oh, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. Be happy. Hey, what a shake. It's a big deal.
Starting point is 00:13:13 It's huge. Next he'll be a guest panelist on Guppy Tank. All right, I first think to cell is cack, okay? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da to have prostitution now? Like when did that happen? Seriously? Like literally kill me now. Like if I have to deal with a cat that's misspelled is like Rinder, because just with a cat, I don't get it. Like to want to call it a cat with this, but two K's just that's it. How about a third K in there? But then it's racist. You know what? Like honestly, I don't need your racist manifesto right now. Like, I can't like it'll be killed
Starting point is 00:13:54 now. How about just kill all skinny cat? Then then we can ran it. Yeah, skinny cat, all right? How about kill a Bethany? Okay, kill a Bethany, kill me now. Like literally just kill me now. But I'm in the floor and kill me with a shark, anything and so on. Like literally I can't give you a hammer at jerk. So Vicki to make us all cry at home She's like Mike really deserves it. He's been out of jurdy and then they showed this clip montage of Mike being like, oh mom Or just like sitting around staring at a wall Who's the most depressing montage of all time because it was sort of like the story?
Starting point is 00:14:22 I feel like of so many people's lives. Like, I just want to enjoy myself. I just want to enjoy myself. I mean, I guess I'll I'll answer the phone spine a little bit of money. I'm alright. Yes, this is my yes. Oh, oh god. This is what I do now. I'm running my mind. My insurance company now. No longer have joy in my life and I've become board of on the board of directors for something. I don't even want to be part of I just I just want to move to same parts get a little catamaran yeah well you know what it's a big deal okay you should be happy because you're the next legacy of my company like I don't think you know what legacy means and then she's like I wanted to know what it's like to carry a batad okay because this was
Starting point is 00:15:01 that by Bishop board it was about Bishop board Ali and he's like wow what a vision what was what else was on there She's like I had put a what in a man Which is landing has roll When I slenny casserole Some do cut out dresses With some So see three staff I Want a bathroom deck it really obscure my identity headsets. I want a headsets. That was
Starting point is 00:15:26 a my vision board. I mean, it should have been I'll be hearing board but who has that? There was come up with a hearing board yet. Wait a minute. I'll light up higher. I'm going to sell it. Hey Linda, Linda, can you write this down? I want a hearing board. Why was that? God. Linda's not the right CEO from this job. Let's remove her from the board. Okay. Who do we want to nominate to the hearing board? Bank, it's a big deal. Like they literally have a piece of cardboard on the floor and whoever's on the board is literally
Starting point is 00:15:51 on the board. We only have room for a little more person on the board. I back way back to Costco. Listen, this is an old Martin Ellie's board. Okay, like it had like 16 Martin Ellie's on it. It's all the room that we need. Okay, I'm not getting another Martin L.I.S.
Starting point is 00:16:08 So that's pretty much that congrats, Mike. I wonder why our episodes have been like an hour and 15 minutes. It's almost like we're spending 15 minutes just talking about Linda and her headset and creating fan fiction around it. We need to make a new vision board. A new succinct board. I still have three paragraphs of notes in that scene and I'm going to skip them because that's my vision board guys, an hour long podcast. So we then go to Kelly's house where Kelly and Jolie have surprised Bobby with a makeover from guess who priv
Starting point is 00:16:45 and somebody else there's like two days pretty good is the company oh okay i get it it's like today they do all the make up they do all the robber makeovers well i love that it was to instead of one because we didn't only get one i got to hi hi hi hi
Starting point is 00:17:03 it was very spice girls to become one We got to hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi I actually think Bob is for real problem. That hair or wig or whatever it is, it needs to go. This like the hair fangs, you know, short in the back, long in the front. It's not a good look. And the thing is, they did a nice job with their makeup, but the hair is what's aging in her. She needs to like maybe get like some sort of long, you know, maybe maybe take some inspiration from Judy,
Starting point is 00:17:41 Lydia's mom a little bit. I don't know. Here's the change up her the week game the weekend Here's the change I vote for for Bobby none ever She's my favorite with her dangly earrings just doing all of her talking. She's like hi honey. How are you like her earrings are dangling and Kelly My favorite mure cat for sure But she need I'm just saying if she wants to look younger or if Kelly wanted her to look younger, I think she needs to go longer, longer hair because nothing will age someone than getting like a short, a little, a
Starting point is 00:18:10 prim little short haircut. Well, like a middle song. I look totally different now. I gotta make over. Kelly's like, good mom. Now you can either go get a date, go to the old folks or just get cremated. All right. I'm sick. You sitting around. Yeah, mom. Also, my marriage is right? I'm sick you sitting around. Yeah mom. Also my marriage is Michael. I don't like it anymore mom. He's mean to me. And one of the gays is like, what's your goals with your makeover? And the other one's like, yeah, goals.
Starting point is 00:18:39 And she'll least like, tinter. Bobby's like, when about growler. I like the big boys. I love a bear guys No girl, no Kelly actually suggested grinder and that's not even a joke. She was like have a grinder Kelly's probably one of those girls who has a grinder account that's like just friends Yeah, actually call it What was that app that grinder came out with it was a-off of Grindr, but it was for straight people I don't think it lasted long. It was terrible pounder. It's like it asked me to do the hamburger meat wine steamer
Starting point is 00:19:14 Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
Starting point is 00:19:52 But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. That was not a dance spot. That was another large gulp of water, sorry.
Starting point is 00:20:20 You're like, I'm just gonna drink my capaibu d'Ello while I let that wine-steiner joke sink in. That wine-steamed joke needs some time to jerk off into a plant, okay? I'm just gonna give it this time. I'm glad the street sweeper is coming by because this joke needs to be swept on through. Ooh, there was my microphone. So anyway, Kelly is now talking about Michael and talking about how he's just like the worst and they don't like have sat. I think she was talking about that on sex. Maybe that was later, but either way, Bob, you think, well, you know, Cal, no marriages
Starting point is 00:20:54 perfect. And, you know, we can't all have priv for our marriages. So you just got to make it work out. I mean, look, I stayed in a loveless marriage for 45 years. So, you know, you still got 20 more years before you have to call it quits. I mean, mostly I just did it because the TV was real hard to move back then. They were so big. Look, hell, no one is perfect. There's only one perfect man. Jesus, no, matlock, okay. And not everybody can marry matlock. It's very, it's a win-out. What are you going to do? Lord knows I tried.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I certainly stand enough letters in my time. I also had a crush on PC Richard until I realized I don't think he was a real man. He got a virus, so those PCs. So let's see some more people surfing. Surfing, surfing, no one on the show serves by the way, but it's between every single thing. So, hashtag housewife, Tamara, I'm doing my pick up batch.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yeah, Tamra's doing a makeup and she's really excited because she's going to daughter's graduation. And so Ryan comes over and he's like watching. Yeah, it's all clean clean. Clean call, which is your almost beardless. I was like, you're not a little. You're almost beardless. I was like you're not hello Zing
Starting point is 00:22:11 So she's excited because she got two tickets to Lady Gaga Or a graduation which do you think is the true statement in that? Sydney is letting her come to her graduation now some of you guys will remember some of you won't who knows I'm here to remind you this is what started the online war with Tamra and Gretchen and Sydney and this is where Sydney went on Facebook and was like all I asked was not to be talked about on Facebook Batch You're the West mother in the world and then Gretchen was like I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the worst mother in the world And then Tamra's like, Batch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Yeah, it all stemmed from this thing because Tamara, I guess Tamara went to the graduation and posted a photo of it on social media and then Cindy was like, no, mama Batch. Yeah. And it all spiraled out of control, which is sad and also kind of getting ridiculous. But my Tamara is like very excited that she's going to this graduation and she's like, wow, this is like baby steps. But then she of course is like, wait, but I still want to cry. So I just, I wish I was there to help her get ready. I wish I could help her choose out her dress for graduation.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I'm like, well, she's wearing a robe. So that takes care of that. That was picked. Yeah. She's like, I just want to be there to pick out her mortar bought by her. Like, well, no, that's they're all sort of uniform. I just want to pick out her hat. Is that what a mortar port is? Yeah. Sorry. There's only like two pieces to a graduation outfit. I should have guessed. I just want to pick out her tassel. I want to turn her tassel from the left to the right. She's trying to cry really hard. And you know, part of me does feel for her because this is a sad story.
Starting point is 00:23:52 I do. But the other part of me is like, it's Tamra, don't fall for it. And Ryan goes, whoa, look at that. Feelings, that is hilarious. Am I really supposed to believe that you have feelings all of a sudden? She's like, stop it. I'm messing up my makeup. It's because you're dabbing it when there's no tears there.
Starting point is 00:24:06 It's just going to be prick marks. Prick marks. You know what else, my make-tammer cry. Some of the news in the world today, you know, terrible things happening. And God, Ben, wait a minute. I sell it. Well, but what she doesn't know is there's a lot of great stuff happening too. And she maybe would discover it if she had text shop.
Starting point is 00:24:33 It's an app that lets you basically read a gazillion magazines on your phone. And we've been, we've been hawking texture for a while and that's only because it's pretty darn awesome. Yes, and we were just flying and let me tell you, I whip out that texture in the airport just to feel better than other people who were paying ten damn dollars for a people, okay? Because I've already got the newest issue of people on Metixja and it's like a Netflix for magazine, so I pay one price and read whatever the hell I want to. Yeah, one of our friends who was on the plane with us, not Kenny G, but another friend was like pulled out like the Harvard Business Review and gave it to her. I was
Starting point is 00:25:09 like, do you want to read this? This is the only thing in English I could find in the airport. So if you don't want to be stuck reading only the Harvard Business Review, then you can get texture for those moments when you're in Xtapa and you really need some magazine love. Yeah, trust. English. The Texture app has begun beyond delivering just the magazine itself. That they've made it easy to find and enjoy the articles you want to read, but daily recommendations, exclusive interactive features, video and more. David.
Starting point is 00:25:41 David. Texture makes magazines easy, just sort of like you and your friend from the beach. And there are so many great ones out there and they make me so, ha, ha, ha, ha, happy. Like every time I read Fast Company, which is, I believe a magazine about your mistress David, or entertainment weekly, or have I sports illustrated, or Chatelaine French or clean, or clean eating. I love clean eating. Here, I shut him theayne French or clean eating. I love clean eating. Here
Starting point is 00:26:05 lies Chatea-Bador. Kill it by clean eating. Listen, Cali. Text to researchable. You can mark what you like. You can check out back issues. Food. View, bone, just video content. They even curate articles and magazines just for you or whoever you're giving texture to this year. Please let it be me because I need another reason to stay on this couch. Do not make me leave this house, Cali. Mom, I got texture for me.
Starting point is 00:26:32 I got texture for me, not from Michael, because texture is normally 99 and a month. And you get over 200 magazines, mom. But if you sign up right now at Texture.com slash Crappens, you get a 14 day free trial. Free mom, free, free. So, I subscribe to just a couple of the magazines, where you can have all your favorites on your smart photo tablet, all the time for way less.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Just go to, right now, Texture's OfferGardListors, a 14 day free trial. Just go to Texture.com slash Crappens. That's Texture.com slash Crappens. Use your headset and remember, it's a big deal. You know what makes me sad about our job here, Ronnie, is that the way it infiltrates our life, like I was in the radio, I was, I mean, I was driving in my car. And I was in the radio. You're like, I'm now living in the radio. Don't you hate how you just, just your soul just goes into the radio. And there was a commercial for, this is commercial for the Monarch Bay Resort. And I was like, Hey, that's where Megan King and Minne's had her candle party.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And I was like, oh my God, kill me now. Literally kill me now. Like, honestly, like, give me a headset and come in now. But don't say that to Brandy because she might take that a little too literally, that's for tomorrow's episode. Yeah, we got to hold the death threats for Dallas. Yeah. So Megan is having her candle party.
Starting point is 00:28:02 She's like, okay, this one's sandwich. This one is with it I'm trying to think of a blade plug and cents. I'm not very good with my Sine like fresh linen vanilla fresh grass Copper pennies This is our fresh linen scent smells like an oil slick Smells like an oil slick. Smells like shingles, both the kind you get and the kind that are on your roof. This smells like when they're making a new road and you're not allowed to step in it.
Starting point is 00:28:33 This smells like third floor of Kaiser Permanente. I'm gonna cry because this is so emotional because tonight is a launch of my line. A line I created. Yeah, we got it when you said it. Yeah, I was like, wow, I almost felt bad for Megan because this candle storyline is so dull that the producers barely even bothered to track it through the season.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Like I think the most it got, I think there was like a scene in episode three where Jim Edmond sniffed a, I think there was a scene in episode three where Jim Edmond sniffs a candle, and then there was a scene last week where they wrapped a candle, and now there's a candle launch party. Even the producers don't care. And the producers of the Real Housewives in general have followed a lot of really lame, stupid, entrepreneurial efforts. Yeah, it's almost like they're kidding when they said, hey, you guys want to do the finale party at the candle launch?
Starting point is 00:29:28 And then someone said, that's a great idea. They're like, wait, we were just joking. Oh, okay, I guess you already put down a deposit on our pay. Okay, great. They get a big ice candle sculpture thing. And she's like, it's a leave. And Jim's like, you can slide. I want to eat dessert.
Starting point is 00:29:44 It's like romance. So Vicki's over at home getting ready with Brianna and she calls Kelly on FaceTime and checks out her boobs. And she's like, both those are boobs. That's a reduction. Jesus. Yeah, they like God. They are so pretty big. And then Shannon and David are getting ready and David's like, hey, dear, I could wear this jacket if I want to be hip. And she's like, hmm, yeah, are you getting a little claustrophobic a little bit in it a little Custrophobic, huh? David? Because I certainly am with a tension in this room something hitting me right now.
Starting point is 00:30:15 He's like no, or she no don't come in here too much tension. It's claustrophobic No dear, I'm starting to sweat she goes ha No, dear, I'm starting to sweat and she goes ha It's like well with a light fun airy scene so Diko and Peggy are in their kitchen with their kid and she's he's like look I got you a ring it's so expensive. I spent so much money. We are so rich Diko we know Diko Peggy's like no, I'm not rich. Why my rich? I have my children. That's all the rich I need. It's like, no, Peg, you have to fight on everything. Yes, I'm rich on inside.
Starting point is 00:30:53 The Arminian started rich. What is this rich? What is this rich? With rich. So, Tamron, Eddie, you're doing their make out thing. Everybody's getting ready. Ready, ready, ready. Lydia Doe. Why did I write that? Oh, Doug. I literally wrote Doe.
Starting point is 00:31:08 I'm not kidding. Yeah, that's a big part of it. Oh, a dear. Yeah, yeah, they had a very, it was like, hey, Lydia, should I wear the blue suit or the purple suit? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh She's waving her arms so much that she just flies away. It makes sense that we are at the season finale because we are actually at the end of the rainbow. We're at Blues and Purples.
Starting point is 00:31:35 So Kelly is waiting for Michael or no, she's waiting for Vicki. Waiting for Vicki. She and Vicki are supposed to take a limo together, but Vicki is like an hour late because she's doing her privy make-up. And so, so, Kelly's just sitting there getting annoyed, Michael's getting, getting even more annoyed. And so, Kelly calls up Shannon and Shannon and she's like, wait, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, let me like, There may be enough room for you in it assuming that David doesn't bring in any mistresses from the beach. Ha! I can joke with an ox until happy! Ha! Ha! Why would you guys have an awkward couple ride to the party when you could have a double? Awkward couple ride to the party. Ha! Ha! We'll be right there! Do we know if there's going to be any short rib at this party? I'm concerned about sugar.
Starting point is 00:32:24 No? Okay. Does anybody know if short ribs has more calories than iceberg lettuce? Anybody? So, basically, what we learned is that Michael really does not want to be in a half-hour car ride with David, which I think is kind of hilarious. That like, Michael just, I never knew that they had tension, which I think is kind of hilarious. That like Michael just, I never knew that they had tension, but I guess it makes sense because there was that big fight
Starting point is 00:32:49 last year. But I also can see David just being really boring in a limo, but also leave it up to Michael to be the one who holds on to the drama because usually the husband's are like, okay, I forgive you. Yeah. And he's like mad forever. Yeah. So yeah, he doesn't want to be in the car and she's like, stop bitching Michael. Okay. You are disobeying me. What did she say earlier? It's like he's a disobeying baby. Yeah, something like that. There was just sort of like a constant dream of Loki, you know, insult hurled his way. So then Kelly and Michael just had to get an Uber. And so Shannon calls back to to announce what sort of car they have and Kelly's like, no, it's it's okay, Shannon. We're gonna get an Uber and so Shannon calls back to to announce what sort of car
Starting point is 00:33:25 They have and Kelly's like no, it's it's okay Shannon. We're gonna get an Uber and Shannon goes Uber I don't even know how to work Uber. What is that on your phone? I don't even know how to work a phone So then over with just David and here comes there here comes their limo outside. Hi Shannon, hi Kelly, hi David. Hi Michael. Nice gas guzzler guys. That's a huge limo out there. So the awkward ride with David and Shannon going to hit Kelly was so awkward and delicious and fun.
Starting point is 00:33:57 She's like, oh David, he's like, this will be fun, dear. As he looks out the window, wondering if he can jump or if there's child locks. She's like, well, look, I get that it's weird we're going with Kelly, but you know, it seems that when people first meet me, they get the wrong impression of me. And then after a while, they see I'm not so bad. And he's like, yes, dear. Sounds familiar.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And then we go through all the other cast member, by the way. Yes. And then we go through all of the people that she didn't get along with the first time meeting them. So brilliant. I mean, I know this this season has not been great, but the producers know this too, and they have been relying on these fabulous montages all season long. And you know, I'm not mad at the montages. They are great every single time. Yes, this one was perfect. I start charities, Megan. I am asking you to leave. I had no idea they knew you.
Starting point is 00:34:51 I'm not obsessing about anything. Yeah. So then it cuts to David and it goes, well, you certainly are direct beer. Yeah. I think he just zones off wondering how long he's in keep up the charade. So he goes, I'm not direct, I'm vocal. I was very vocal with you when I first met you. You knew where I stood. And he's like, yep. Exactly. He's like, so then excuse me, little coffee burp there. I come out by accident.
Starting point is 00:35:23 I'm sorry listeners at home. I know people don't like hearing I can't help but ask. I'm sorry listeners at home. I know people don't like hearing those things. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just want you to be polite tonight, Michael. Can you? Can you be polite tonight?
Starting point is 00:35:34 That was the next scene, Kelly telling Michael to not be an asshole in the limo. And he's like, you know what? I'm walking away from this. I'm not going to have enough. I'm thinking of all this. So he, you know, in an order to show that he can be polite, he really walks away. Yeah, it's like I didn't make it in business by being nice.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Okay. So basically it's a really long, awkward, double couple ride to the party. Yeah. And Shannon and Megan are drinking in the men aren't. And Shannon's like, whoa, well, the men aren't drinking. Huh, that's, that's great. Do you think they'll be shrimp at this party?
Starting point is 00:36:07 Maybe like a fried shrimp, like a crispy shrimp. Like maybe with like a little mango dipping sauce, that might be nice or coconut. A coconut, like something like this, there's a little yellow and creamy, but like tropics, something of the tropics. I'd like that Kelly, would you like, I'd like to help you with this, there, Kelly. We like that? You like that? You like that? You like that? You like that? You like that?
Starting point is 00:36:25 We just have to leave room for a really long awkward pause. Okay, that was the scene. So people started arriving at this party and, you know, Ryan and I, we love quoting big business and we love the special line where Batman there says, you look like you're dressed like a blood clot. Well, guess what? Tamara actually showed up dressed like a blood clot like a full-on platelet. This isn't my fucking platelet. Bitch. So he's like, babe, this reminds me of when we came down the stairs that are waiting member because it's at the same location. Wow, what a literal memory.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Yeah. It's not just any stairs. He flashbacks to these extra stairs. Although they did show the flashback. And to be fair, they were going down the other set of stairs. So next time, be more accurate with your literal flashbacks. I don't care. Because like C.I. told you, her husband goes the other way.
Starting point is 00:37:24 flashbacks out of here. Um, he's like, see, I told you, her husband goes the other way. And Shannon going down the stairs was also fun. She's like, okay, I'm going to take some tiny little steps, tiny steps, sort of like the tiny steps that David seemed to be making while I was trying to make large strides in our marriage. Just like the tiny steps I followed on the beach to find David. tiny steps I followed on the beach to find David. Hi everyone the the bedores are here and we're so happy. Is there shrimp shrimp David? How would this be if I fell and broke my neck? Please do it. I mean not because I want you to break your neck but something has to happen today. Yeah. Hey wait David, is there no vodka here David? David. Yeah because they have trays of champagne. she's like wait, there's no vodka
Starting point is 00:38:07 Everyone's like hi, hi, oh my god, hi Hi, hi, hi, this is Megan and she goes, oh look at me, I'm wearing my grandmother's dress And Megan goes, stop, stop being me to yourself And she says, no, literally, it's my grandmother's stress. It's vintage and she's like, oh, it's nice. She's like, I swear I'd only wear it to old lady things like going to a candle party. This actually still smells like my grandmother's candles. So Peggy and Diko are arriving next and Peggy is like, I'm looking forward to seeing the girls.
Starting point is 00:38:46 I mean, I have no problem seeing them. They're the ones who should be ashamed of themselves. Like, okay, Peggy. And Diko's like her boxing coach. He's like, you're going to do this, right, babe? I don't care. You're going to fight, right, babe? No, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Come on! And the funny thing is everyone's so cool to Peg you when shows up because we just seem to be like Hi, hi Kotot with hello, and then Peggy shows up. They're like oh, hi I guess like hi, let me like clear something on my tooth and I was like look at you pretty pretty so pretty Peggy They think he's already freaking out. She's like I don't even know. I don't even know what's going to happen. Not by conflict. Not by fight. Bulk at vault.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Did I tell you about bike? It's a big deal. So, uh, see, Vicky gets- We don't take advantage parties like this. We don't take advantage parties. Like, what are these Kendall parties? I don't get it. We don't do this like in the Midwest.
Starting point is 00:39:36 We do the cast arrows. Okay. Casted bodies. Casted parties. Like, what's the Kendall parties here? So, could you eat it? Could you eat it? So, Tamara talks about- she's mad at Vicki again
Starting point is 00:39:46 because I don't think Tamra, Tamra's like me, you know, you can't get too drunk when you're out because Lord knows what's gonna happen. In this case, Tamra made up of Vicki and that's her hangover the next day. You know she sobered up and was like, oh my God, what did I do?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Batch! Yeah, Tamra has suddenly changed her tune out of nowhere. This is very biblical. It was like the Pharaoh whose heart had been softened by the plagues, but then turned to stone again. And I guess that means that Vicky might be Moses. So that's weird. But by the way, did you see that Heather McDonald
Starting point is 00:40:17 was lingering around with Tamara and she was all over the background. Our man Batch had the McDonald. Heather McBetchdald. No, I didn't see here there. You didn't see how there she was every she was like in every shot. No, but I think it's because I was typing so much you've heard all my Linda typing like how did I how did I how did I see anything on this show. I have no idea. But it wasn't like she
Starting point is 00:40:37 was in the corner. I mean she was like fully well for those of us who saw Heather McDonald consider it acknowledged. Hello Heather. I was talking to you through my TV. I may not have been watching the TV when you were on it, but I acknowledge you batch So Tamer has decided that she still hates Vicki and she's like I haven't seen Becca since I slides, okay Like she didn't make any steps to make a better no apologies to any you know She runs away, but he's in the room, like seriously. Like, in Iceland, no stories came out about me, but then the day after a story came out about me from thickens friends about lies. It's like, you know what, Tamara, you need to relax. I'm sorry, relax. You know, it's these things take time, and I don't know, when did you guys get back from
Starting point is 00:41:22 my son like two weeks ago, just chill out. Yeah, she's like I'd rather back into the group after breakfast. I'm like you're also the one who brought Brooke's storyline to the forefront camera. Okay. Yeah, there's that too. I gave her another opportunity after I find which I don't remember which one that was. Tamra the mortar. Yeah, Tamra is I'm like you gave her another opportunity two weeks ago and you've already rescinded it. So yeah, just like Jesus said, now I know there's nothing I can do to make this girl change. I will never forget her. I'm like, wow, that's so that's so Jesusy. She's now let me show you a pic of my daughter. Way to be the one who can change Timra. So Vicki goes
Starting point is 00:42:02 over to Peggy because she's the only one who still likes her and staff. And she's like, oh hey Peggy, you know this party, I don't even know whether there's a party for candles, but we need to whoop it up. And Peggy goes, whoop whoop, just no, no, that's that it. Whoop it up, that whoop whoop it up. She's like, no, you say whoop it up, I say whoop whoop it up. And Judy is like, I like to say Yippee Skippy. Oh, no, see that's not even close no yippee
Starting point is 00:42:26 skippy in house Judy no yippee skippy in house what is yippee skippy are many and started skippy what is this what is this strange peanut butter so Shannon and Lydia are trying from the start. They're being nice to each other. And Shannon's like, wow, shrimp. Have you talked to Peggy? And Lydia's like, yeah, we went to lunch. It was really good. It's like not good enough to show because it's only a little clip. Yeah. And surprising to, yeah, about to say because they like after all that fighting with Peggy last episode, the fact that it was like resolved in like a two-second flashback of Peggy saying, no, you're a wonderful mother, wonderful mother and Megan's like, thank you. I was like, wow, you just really, really don't care about the storyline producers do you?
Starting point is 00:43:19 And Lydia's like, well, you know, you should try talking to her now because I think she has more of a clear mind. And Santa says, no, well, I told her I was done after what she did. Remember when I was like, pah, Peggy, pah, your name starts with a pah on purpose, pah, done with you, Peggy. How do you come back from that, really? So then Kelly is talking to the girls and Megan is oh so Michael is complaining that he can't play with Kelly's boobs anymore because they're still healing and Kelly's face is just like, ugh, like it's so funny her face. She's not even like, it's not even like an awkward tension.
Starting point is 00:44:02 She just, her face is like's just smells like dog shit somewhere. Can you believe he came with me? He came with me. Well, Kelly's getting her drink on now. Okay. Yeah. This is where Kelly will usually be like, fuck you. Do whoever's around. But she brought Michael. So she just beats him up for the whole mic, which is kind of disappointing. I've got to say. It was it was kind of fun though. I enjoyed it And then we see a quick shot of Shannon at the buffet. You're not just trying to get some quick shrimp And then Lydia and Shannon have this weird moment where Lydia was like Shannon you are so fun at Iceland like I couldn't believe have fun you were I'm like that is so condescending
Starting point is 00:44:44 I love it and Shannon's like yeah, it was crazy You're my favorite. How is this happening? This is strange chance like she like hug Shannon chance like This is if we could give a noise to Shannon's hug. This is what I would give it a noise to Shannon's hug. This is what I would give it. All right, all right. I still have some panko across the trip. In my hand, I need to get to it. Thank you. So Megan gives a speech. She's like four scored like 100 years ago. Jimmy made a candle. It was amazing. He's my king. King, as most of you know, is my maiden name. And it's also a spins middle name, uh, shut up. It's also the brand that kept Jim at home more than an hour this month. So it's also the, it's also the size of our mattress, which is kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Or you could call it double twin, you know, adjustable. Everyone's asleep on the ground. I'm co mattressing. So Kelly goes up to Peggy. And she's like, oh my ground. I'm co-matracing. Kelly goes up to Peggy and she's like, oh my god, I haven't talked to you. Why did you leave so early? Peggy's like, listen, I just got out of hospital. My dad passed and Kelly goes, yeah, I forgot. Honestly, I forgot about your dad. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:03 I was drunk. I was drunk. You know what, Peggy? It's just that like, I don't know, you're like baby. You're like, you're a baby. You're not a baby, but you're a baby. And she goes, oh, so you think I'm a baby? No, no. Oh, you think I'm a baby with cigar, like rabbits of Rogers?
Starting point is 00:46:21 No, no, I'm not saying no. Just your baby. You're spoiled. Oh, like milk? I'm like milk. You say I'm bland, like milk? No, no, I'm not saying no, just your baby. You're spoiled. Oh, like milk, I'm like milk, you say I'm bland like milk. No, no, it's inspiration, Peggy. How did you go to school, Peggy? So Peggy gets so mad, she's like work on your own relationship, don't bash on mine. So she goes, oh, so we're buried the hatchet. What is this hatchet? Why we bury hatchet? Why we have to dig holes and ground why can we walk on ground like a few people she just killed my father all over with hatchet So she's like listen you are nice. I like hanging with you Mr. Cooper Because defensive and Kelly's like yeah, that's true like I don't like when people bust me around
Starting point is 00:47:01 He's like, yeah, that's true. Like, I don't like when people bust me around. There's like something inside me. It snaps, okay? Like, even the GPS in the car, like, I've broken three of them. I'm like, don't bust me around. I'll make it right when I walk out. Like, literally, I can't even listen to Bruce Springsteen. Cause he's like the boss.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Um, yeah. No, I like the way when she sit by way. I like how, like, when Kelly is like saying how she just snaps when people boss around, she has a smile on her face. Like, isn't it hilarious? How crazy I am. No.
Starting point is 00:47:33 No. I'm going to shorten no ball in house. Coco to just know. By the way, I thought, um, I thought Kelly looked fantastic in this party. Did you notice that hair look great? Her mate wouldn't odd way to say that. I thought Kelly looked fantastic in this party. Did you notice that? Her hair looked great, her hair. What an odd way to say that. You're like, by the way, I feel like Kelly looked fantastic in this part.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Are you still in the radio, Ben? Come out of the radio, Ben. No! So, yeah, David and Diko were talking and David's like, well, what's the deal, dear? You went after Shannon, bro. David's like, well, what's the deal dear? You went after Shannon bro It was confusing bro dear and Diko was like, God was confusing. I said one thing you spread like wildfire I was just trying to squash it. He's like, well, that was it nice, bro. No, okay, we friends do you need rams? He's like, oh, I love rams
Starting point is 00:48:21 It's like how the guys fight it's over Yeah, you want to go on a Spartan race, Deer Diko? Yes! Okay, we're good. So Lydia and her mom, who cares? Yeah, Jayden. I don't think I'm going to do fairy just tonight. I don't think I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:48:37 It's a great. So then Tamra, now Tamra goes up to Diko and she wants to, she wants to apologize for, you know, just being generally Tamarish. So she's like, she's like, I think, she goes, I think that Diko's a bitch thing was a blood out of proportion. I'm like, how does that not have to be a lot more? Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Do I have to be here? She's like, no, go away, bitch. She's like, okay, and you leave. And she's, because she's like, I love, I love how someone could say, yeah, me calling you a bitch was blown out of proportion. I'm like, no, that was actually active insults, you know. And he doesn't lose. She stands by it. She's like, yeah, I apologize for saying because that bitch, but like I thought when you
Starting point is 00:49:20 like called her over to do what you were doing, that was a bitch man. That's okay. So you don, that's like, okay. So you don't apologize? Yeah, exactly. And how did you misinterpret it? You actually saw the whole thing happen. Yeah, but she basically was like, she's like, yeah, Shannon essentially overreacted
Starting point is 00:49:35 and I thought it was like much worse than it actually was. And he's like, she's like, so you're not a batch. And he's like, and Diko is funny about it. He's like, so I have to return the hat. How about to keep it for a little bit? I was like, that's a funny wrist. That's like a mature response, I thought. It's my first hashtag hat.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah, because someone else would have been like, I can't believe she called me a bitch. She said I was bitch. She wants to see a bitch. Now she sees bitch. He's like standing on the stairs, just tossing rims at her head. This is a bitch, bitch. He's like standing on the stairs just tossing rims at her head. This is a bitch, bitch.
Starting point is 00:50:08 So yeah, she's she's trying to turn this all on Shannon at the last moment too. I'm not really sure what Tamara's game plan is here except that next year she's going after Shannon obviously. But I'm not really sure what she's trying to set up here, but she basically is like yeah. So Shannon ever reacted is what you're saying, and he's like, I guess. So then, Tamara's like, okay, I'm gonna go talk to Pagan Outbatch. So, Batch, I talked with Tika Batch, and I understand his intention now, okay?
Starting point is 00:50:35 I always liked you, and even though we've been like this, eeehh, eeehh, eeehh, oh my God, you're thinking okay. I'm going to a hospital. Please, can we just check her out? Let's come up, please. So yeah, so basically, Tamer's telling Peggy what Shannon said about Diko. Like, she's just sort of like trying to clear the air, but actually just stirring the pot. So then they pull Shannon over.
Starting point is 00:51:01 She said that your husband came outside and made her crimes. Like totally it's saying all this means stuff and it made a crime. It made a sad. So that didn't happen. Yeah, it's like, how about we pull out a Shannon? So they pull Shannon over and they start to say what's going on. And she's like, you know what, Peggy? You know what?
Starting point is 00:51:17 I don't want to make a big deal of this. It never should have been involved. I never should have been involved. I don't want to make a big deal of this. I'm like, Shannon, you were the one who made the big deal in the first place. Diko is merely trying to like preemptively like squash something before being a big deal. And you started to cry in hyperventilates.
Starting point is 00:51:34 And you're saying I'm a big deal. Yeah, you're like, I don't want to make this a big deal. Hold on, I'm going to do wings. She's like throwing her hands out in circles like she does when she's so mad. I love her hand dancing. I, I, Peggy, this is, I don't, this is not a big deal. Okay. Is that like I'm suddenly a board member of Cotto Insurance? It's not a big deal. I was just thrown off the board
Starting point is 00:51:53 of Cotto Insurance and replaced by someone named Mike. So have some compassion. She goes, well, and then you have this nonsense. And said you trust your husband and then she starts waving her finger in a circle She goes you have the audacity and I'm not okay And Shannon's like wow or Tamer's like wow Shannon's the one who looks like an asshole a whole because she's doing wings on grass batch and Shannon's chooses Peggy of like at she says that Peggy at Peggy's anniversary, like she goes, yeah, yeah. This guy held up with tears saying,
Starting point is 00:52:30 David hurt me, David hurt me. And then they should have the clip of it. And it's like, because Peggy's like, no, that never happened. No, no, no. But then they should have the clip. And she wasn't, Peggy was just saying, yeah, like when, you know, to hear that David was saying
Starting point is 00:52:42 those things that hurt me, because she heard it incorrectly from Deco, so, but she wasn't like, bawling and being like, David hurt me bawling house, Coco. Yeah, she's like, you had those big, dough eyes with tears, well, up, and you said, David hurt me multiple times. And then they started going, you know, it hurts me. It's hurt me, it's hurt me, it's hurt me, it's hurt me.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Like in the way she's trying to come up with something else to say, but she knows what talent co-could have taken the ball outside. It's not the me. It's hurt to me. It's hurt to me. It's hurt to me. Like in the way she's trying to come up with something else to say But she knows what talent co could have taken the ball outside is not the thing right now She's like what else do I know what else can I say and And Shannon's like let the jury see that once again confusing Peggy isn't giving us a clear answer Catchy name and so then Peggy because at this point Shannon's doing like you said, she's doing the full on like Wings' hand dance thing Like it's like the tap dance thing like And so then she's then Peggy just does What she does best she just looks at Shannon goes are you okay?
Starting point is 00:53:37 Are you okay and Shannon's response so priceless? Oh? You have given me that fucking line one too many times girlfriend. It doesn't work now. You can't even keep a straight story confusing Peggy. So I'm walking on. I am done with you. Okay, I just have to point out that Shannon's evidence was all just proved wrong even to even down to it being outside. You said you came to me outside at your hookup party. They were inside. I was like, I don't think Sandwich should ever be on a journey.
Starting point is 00:54:09 I remember that day, it was yesterday we were there on an oil rig. And you said, I will never forgive you, Shannon. It was right before you started chewing that baby hamster's head off. Don't you remember? She's like, no. Weird Alcatan could think was there. But I don't like that Shannon goes,'s head off. Don't you remember? She's like, no. Where'd Alcatan could pick was there? But I don't like that Shannon goes,
Starting point is 00:54:28 no, Peggy, I'm done with you. I'm done. I wish you well. That's so nice. I wish you well. And I am done with you. I was like, well, I was done with you a long time ago. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:54:42 Because you told Lydia I was the only nice person to do at the end. And I was. That was a long time ago. That's what I meant. So Megan's like what's happening over there? Like did anybody break a candle? And they don't know the match. They don't have a match. I just realized we don't have matches for my candle party. So Peggy's like she needs drama. That is it it and he said it Kellie goes, save your drama for your mama. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Peggy was like, I feel bad for Shannon. You keep lashing out at your husband.
Starting point is 00:55:17 You keep lashing out and your husband's not going to be with you honey. I was like, if you're lashing out, you will have nothing to protect your eyes. Your lashes will all be out. What is this Maybelline? Maybe she's born with it? I don't understand how you born with Maybelline. Who is Neapot? Maybe Line? Maybe Circle. Who knows? Who is easy, breezy beautiful cover girl? You are, you're on the cover of Nobleman. And then everyone's like, and everyone's like,
Starting point is 00:55:51 Shad, Shad, Shad, are you crying? I'm not, I'm not crying, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not crying, I'm not, I'm not crying, I'm not, I'm not crying, I'm not, I'm not crying, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I bats. And she's like, she didn't, I'm not crying. And because she did get to you. No, I'm not. I'm not crying. She's, okay, you're not. So that's the only bar now. It's like if Shannon's crying or not.
Starting point is 00:56:14 They'll work on the yelling and screaming and doing like wings hands later. For now, she's just like, I'm not crying. Now does anyone have gracos? And back he's like, I want to go home. I don't like being yelled at. That's not my touch of class. Well, someone has to have the balls to tell her
Starting point is 00:56:31 she's a loony-bone TikTok cracker flock. Consuising Peggy, that's a trademark that one. If there was a street with all Peggy homes, it would be called confusing Peggy Holda sack. He he he he. It'd be like a Kolda sack, except you never get to the Kolda sack. It's like a normal road. with all Peggy Homes it would be called Confusing Peggy Holda Sack. Hehehehe. It'd be like a Kolda Sack except you never get to the Kolda Sack. It's like a normal road. And you're like, where's the Kolda Sack?
Starting point is 00:56:50 I need to turn around and I don't want to turn around and someone's driveway. Because what do they think I'm coming in? It'd be awkward. If you think sacks are cold, it is because you are not happy with your husband's cold sack. Wait a minute, I'm not falling for that one, Missy. Are you okay, Kolda to sack? Are you okay? So now Peggy and Diko get some time like coaching time and they're with Tamra. And Peggy's like, what the can we do? And
Starting point is 00:57:14 Diko's like, come on, go do it. We got rims to sell smile and get out there. Honey. Yeah, I don't want to give Shannon a hug. I think Tamra was there too. Like, come on, give Shannon a hug. Give Shannon a hug. And you know, it's funny because, come on, give Shannon a hug. Give Shannon a hug. And it's funny because Tamara is the one all season long who's been trying to broker peace with all these people. Come on, hug, apologize. It'd be nice.
Starting point is 00:57:34 And yet she's the one who refuses to let this Vicki situation just move forward. So yes, they probably give her hugs and she goes, she yields. So while they're deciding whether or not they're gonna pay you skin a hug shan and Vicki comes back from bathroom Cuz I was like where has Vicki been she's been like missing for like half an hour on this show So she comes back and Kelly's standing there and Vicki just starts to drink out her cow Tell his glass and I think don't barb don't book our my 1942 Vicki has it back. I didn't. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I just laughed because it was exactly like your impersonation of Vicki. She's turning more and more into it as time goes on for sure. Which I always live because I feel psychic, you know. Yeah. And she's like, Kelly's like, I want to make a tequila that says 1975 because that's when I was born. And she tells Shannon, and you could have a Mrs. Roper tequila.
Starting point is 00:58:28 And Shannon goes, yes, I'll have a Mrs. Roper tequila and that would accurately show the night, the 1975 and Kelly goes, that's funny. She goes, yeah, it was you. It was you. And then they show their clip of their fight last season. And then them cracking up now together and being friends. Yeah It was nice. It was nice. It was funny. Um, and then Peggy comes up. So just when they're having fun here comes Peggy
Starting point is 00:58:53 And she's like Genin, I think also Peggy was drunk at this point something happened because she's like Genin, you know, if you feel that Diko You know, if you feel that Diko attack you, then I apologize for you on behalf of me and Diko and my phone, which commit suicide. What she's trying. But she's trying to say is that she's sorry that your husband beat you that time and Vicki told everybody, right? Right Peggy?
Starting point is 00:59:21 No. And Shannon's like, Shannon's like, I appreciate you saying that. But you're saying it in that like Icelandic, I reject that apology, Vicky Utone. Yes, or a San Antonio. Well, no, no, she's saying like, when Vicky apologized to Shannon, and Shannon was like, thank you, I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:59:41 And she was like, I don't accept it. She's had to do that a lot, but big smile. I don't appreciate your behavior, your personality, your face, your attitude, or your husband, but thank you for the apology anyway. Is there a shrimp? And then there's all the way up to say thank you for bringing back the Peggy's phone committing suicide from episode one of this year. That was a full circle that it took me a minute to get.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Well done. Well done. Well done, sir. You're welcome. You're welcome. So then there's like awkward silence. And then eventually Kelly is like, I'm gonna complain about Michael in front of him. And so she complains about him.
Starting point is 01:00:19 And she's talking, I think she's talking to Vicki. And she's saying, we don't have sex. We don't have sex. And Vicki's like, well, you know what? If you don't have sex, like you need to have sex, you need to be intimate because with Don, he stopped having sex with me. He said I was untouchable. And I was like, I'm not some goddess. He's like, no, like literally, I can't touch you.
Starting point is 01:00:34 It's too scary. And that was the beginning of the verse. The beginning of the it. Look, don't ever get it Don Vorse. Okay. Don Vorse is the most expensive things ever. Like I should be retired right now, but I got it Don Vorse. He has stuff of everything. Hey, you want to lose Lake Havasu? Okay, get a divorce, do it. I dare you. Kelly said, I can't live like this. Yes, you can. Just cheat.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, cheat. Get a hotel room. Get a time share and cheat, okay? So then we started to get into the the epilogue statements. So we learn as we already knew that Kelly has filed for divorce from Michael, which Ryan and I found that. I think we mentioned it before, but we found that out in a very hilarious way, which is that when we went to Kelly Dodd's house, they were talking and talking and they're like, oh, by the way, we're getting divorced, you know. That's why I'm divorced in this one, huh? And then they're like, laugh. You're like, uh, no, I was telling them, don't get divorced. Like, you guys have such a nice rapport. I mean hating each other
Starting point is 01:01:26 Publicly that's the first step like being able to be fun at a party while you're talking about how much you hate each other I mean it's like it's heartwarming guys come on stay together. She's like you're dumb Then for Megan's final moment. She's like oh one other baby and then sure enough They're throwing out more of Jim sperm for another baby. So that'll be fun. I wonder if all that sperm is still in that giant like plastic trash can from Home Depot. Yeah, it has recently visited World War I.
Starting point is 01:01:55 It met Wonder Woman and it's come back now with stories. It's like this crazy lady went through the No Man's Land. So let's see, Jim kisses Megan and he's like, thanks for the went through the No Man's Land. So let's see, Jim Kisses, Megan, and he's like, thanks for the hard work. The dessert was great. And then Lydia, who cares? Well, Lydia, this actually bothered me because she's like, I feel like I stood up for myself this year. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Which is just kind of true. But the update on her is that she is now off the pill. And on top of that, she's wants to have a girl. So they are using his like, his store, his like frozen sperm to go for a girl. I was like, you know, that's so annoying. You made your husband go through a vasectomy and they're like, I want a kid now. Like, that's, that's annoying to me. That's really, really annoying. Well, you got to be able to time it when you want, you know, it's better to plan it than just to be like, what's its accident?
Starting point is 01:02:48 That's true. And I guess this way she doesn't have to be on the pill, you know, and this way, I guess then, actually, I guess since they did save the sperm, they save it for a reason, huh? Okay, I take it back. Well, I think that's the way you can also get a girl if you want want if you're doing it this way right because you can see what you're about to implant. I don't know if that works that way. Remember Asa said she did hers like she froze hers and they were all boys. I don't think you can choose your the gender.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Well a lot of I don't know. I mean you can choose it. Once you get the I know nothing. Maybe once you get your embryos. Well, once you get your embryos, you can decide which embryos I guess are going in you, but I don't think you can mastermind what type of embryos you're going to get. No, but if you make a bunch of embryos, you can be like, I want the girl. Yeah, I guess you could do that. I guess, I don't know. I guess,
Starting point is 01:03:40 I don't know either. I love when we wait into topics that we have no idea about, like involving female living. We know everything. I don't know bars, apples, huh? They freeze embryos for the same reason eye-fraised pancakes. You never know when you're gonna want one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:57 I'm gonna make a cheesecake. So Shannon, the Shannon update is, of course, what we all know, the bedoors have moved into separate houses. And then Vicki and Steve fought a vacation home together and Brianna and Ryan moved in North Carolina. So I'm sure Vicki is going to be a disaster about that. Um, yes.
Starting point is 01:04:21 And what else? Tamara had dinner with Tamara. And then they stopped spicking. Yeah, that exactly. Um, uh, and then Peggy, uh, her daughters are going to college in LA, which is the most boring update of all. I know. It's like Peggy got a new ring.
Starting point is 01:04:35 Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, it's like, hey, thanks for stopping by Peggy. And then they are all doing their toes at the end of the season. And Sean's like, time heals all wounds. And Vicky's like, oh please, there's no time. He has no time heals all wounds anywhere on Sean's body. She cups. Have you ever seen Cupig? Like it's the double thing I've ever seen.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Like at a top. So let's see here. Peggy. No, don't link so much Kelly. If you're like, stop telling me what to do. You're not my mother. I told you before. She goes, I am a mother.
Starting point is 01:05:08 No, you're always telling me what to do, Peggy. It's like the end, like, oh, okay. And Megan goes, I'm a mother too. Okay, shut up. Let's, now that this season is over, can we, I think Megan has Really she had a chance to redeem herself this season like last season. It's like, okay, you're pregnant this season She had a chance to come back to classic Megan form. She did not she needs to go. She needs to be fired
Starting point is 01:05:36 I'm sorry. It's over. It's done. I'm sorry, okay But I don't know because they ended this whole season with Megan going for more housewives go to bravo tv.com. That's not a good sign. When Megan's your sign off. That's true. What a fun season everybody. Yeah, super fun, Ish. Not as good as last three seasons, but you know, we still have a lot of fun with it. I guess now we start the three reunions. I'm sure there'll be three, although they were nice, they only give us two. Oh, that would be such a diss if they only gave them two yikes. I don't know if they have room in their schedule
Starting point is 01:06:13 for three reunions because the Bravo schedule is gonna explode in December. I mean, we're not gonna be able to cover all the shows that they have. Unfortunately, it's just too much. Too much. There will be an onslaught of new Bravo shows. I i was looking at the schedule i mean i was looking at the sort of shows you have to cover
Starting point is 01:06:30 there i think some shows like like maybe in like relationship i don't know if we're gonna be able to cover relationship running i mean we have to well as well these are the shows that are going to be on Atlanta marietta medicine band of rules real house was a bit of a hills relationship These are the shows that are going to be on. Atlanta, Maritum Medicine, Brand of Prophrils, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Relationship, Top Chef, Real Housewives of New Jersey. That's seven shows and we only have five slots.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Weee, sorry. Who knows, we'll take it one day at the time, okay? There's no reason to get stressed out right now. That's true, and Beverly Hills doesn't come back until December 19th, so we can cover a few weeks of relationship. Yeah, we'll see, guys, we'll see. But until then, you guys have a wonderful Tuesday or whatever day it is that you're listening to this. Thanks so much for listening to this show.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Go buy some merch. Go listen to the bonus episode. It was about our trip to Katie Kizorla's wedding in Mexico. So fun. For those of you waiting for Mary to medicine, we keep saying we're about to do it and we never do.
Starting point is 01:07:33 We're probably going to do that as a two-parllor next week because there's a blank slot next Tuesday. So we'll do it in place of Dallas next week. So just be patient. We're coming back. And everybody, we sure love you. Yeah, we'll talk to you tomorrow. It just be patient. We're coming back and everybody we sure love you. Yeah, we'll talk to you tomorrow. It was in Dallas. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Starting point is 01:08:11 Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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