Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Introducing Fun Shannon!
Episode Date: October 24, 2018It's the "Real Housewives of Orange County" episode we've been waiting for: Shannon losing her mind for 45 minutes! What a gift this was (although, we probably could have done without Vicki t...werking). We recap every shrill, screaming moment. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Happens
I have come, I have come, I have come
I've been looking for happiness
I've come, I have come
Kids, what happens when there's so much that happens
Oh, when people are looking for happiness
Kids, what happens when there's so much that happens Hey everyone, welcome to WaterCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just
love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this lovely day is a man who is always fun Ronnie.
It is Ronnie himself, Ronnie Caram from Rose Prick Spatcher, Rose Podcast and TrashTalkTV.com. What's going fun Ronnie? It is Ronnie himself Ronnie Carram from Rose Prick Spatcher Rose podcast and trash talk TV.com
What's going on Ronnie? Well, how are you today? Good. How's everything going babe?
I am on the edge of my seat because two things are about to arrive at my apartment.
The new bear for contestant cookbook and
The Nintendo the classic Nintendo that I bought for myself
when I was drunk when we were on a pub crawl this weekend.
So, wow, nice.
I'm very, very excited today.
I'm also excited because in about two weeks, we are doing a show and see at all, and there
are tickets available, so go to watchcrapins.com for those.
And then there we are on low ticket alert for our Nashville show in December. I think that's December 6th.
You guys got to come because I'll be celebrating my 40th birthday and that's a milestone.
And y'all got to be part of my milestone birthday.
And if you're not, then I will be sad because it's going to be hard enough turning 40 as
it is.
So come to Nashville, watch, watchrocrapins.com.
And don't forget while you're on the website you can buy a
king of snorkism
t-shirt
um those are really fun so y'all have to do that today is going to be epic
because we're talking about an absolutely fantastic orange
county episode. Rare words these days. But before we do that, Ronnie, one thing I
do want to address really, really quickly is that Bravo has sort of like
turned out a few, like very quietly a bunch of little shows. And one of them
that they they premiered on Friday last week was get a room with Carson and Tom.
Did you get a chance to see that?
Love it!
Loved it from the depth of my core.
Loved it.
You sound like them.
I know.
Here's the thing.
Okay, so the new queer eye, you know, I really enjoy the new queer eye quite a bit.
But seeing Carson and Tom in action reminds you like,
oh these guys, these guys are the
real deal. You know, like, you know, Jonathan Manness can be, can be very funny, but he can
also be a lot. And watching Carson Cressley like in his zone, you're like, oh, that's right,
Carson Cressley is so good. So good. I thought the entire thing was fantastic. I cannot wait
to watch it so many more episodes of it.
Yeah, that was a great one. I'm they're perfect together and I think they were the perfect ones to
choose from that show and just kind of get rid of everybody else, even though I liked all the other
ones. But you know, heads like in in choppery ghost town over at chop. He's like,
Hi, my name is Ted. Welcome to chop time. which I kind of feel bad for him every time I see Chop, because I'm like,
that more guy looks like he's just stuck in hell.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, good job, it looks like a decent job hell, you know.
Yeah.
But I still feel really bad for him.
And then this week, the first week, they actually talked to a medium.
And I was like, oh, my God, what a fits head that comes through.
Like, getting the other chopped.
Yeah, please. Well, I mean, on the original queer eye, oh my god, what a fits head that comes through. Like, get me out of the job. Yeah, please.
Well, I mean, on the original queer eye, it's secretly, and even on the current queer eye,
sometimes the best part is seeing the fashion transformation and the living space transformation.
The hair transformation is good too, but I think, you know, I like the key in the original
one, but I think ultimately it was about Carson and Tom.
Those were truly our favorites back then.
And seeing them now, they just, they speak with such authority
and they have such a good rapport.
And I just, I just like thoroughly enjoyed it.
I was laughing the entire time,
but I also really enjoyed watching their choices
and decisions that they made.
And it's nice also to have like a higher
and home renovation show, you know,
because we're sort of get stuck watching these little
ranch homes on each TV get like a new, you know,
a new lampshade.
And so here it was like, oh, here's a $150,000 budget
for a giant house in Scar'sdale.
I like that a lot.
Well, that was pretty crazy when they came up with the budget.
He's like, well, for the living room, I would say a hundred.
And then for the patio, which what were they calling the patio?
Like the mad grotto.
The mad grotto.
It's just so them.
So for the patio, I'm gassing another 50. the guy's like, okay, just get it done.
Yeah, it was a little shocking. I mean, I have to say some of that stuff I would not have paid
all that money for, like especially outdoor furniture. They had like chairs that were like
$3,500 a piece for the outdoors in, you know, in New York where it kept like the weather is like
it's rainy and snowy, it's hot and cold. I mean, and then a ping pong table that was like $10,000 or something.
I was like, okay, you know what, like we could, we could save a little bit of money around here.
Well, you know, when you're not rich, sometimes it's really fun to watch rich, rich people take it up the butt.
Yeah, you know, it's like, yeah, they're getting hosed.
And so that's part of it too, you know, like some of the HD TV shows are really most of the Bravo fashion shows or design shows too. It's poor people. So you're kind of
rooting for them more. Yeah. But this one was like this rich couple with this house. It was
like just too much. I mean, that living room was too big. Pacific center. You know, it was
like too big. And so part of me was just like, fuck you. You know, I'm glad to watch you get
hosed with a table. You know, and I'm glad to watch you get host with a table
You know, and I'm glad that these two did it in such a funny way and they did and and just in case you haven't seen it
They also they not only did they do this giant mansion a living huge living room in a mansion
They also
Redid a little parlor in more like a townhouse
It looked like it was in Brooklyn's Brooklyn or something like that and that, the budget was 5,000, so that was much more modest.
I actually liked the way that one turned out more, because I just thought it was a more
interesting room.
So they did do something that was smaller, and I wonder if that's going to be what's going
to happen going forward, like a small project in a big one.
Yeah, rich people, not as rich people.
Yeah, exactly.
But I loved it.
I just thought the rapport was so good.
And I kind of actually really dig that Bravo
was doing this thing on Fridays, this home by Bravo.
Like, I like that.
I think that's actually what they've been overdue for that.
I think at one point, do we ever talk about,
I feel like we've talked about why does Bravo not have any
cooking shows.
It seems like it would actually really match their mandate.
So maybe they're going to get around to that.
Well, it's depressing when you read the ratings and you see HGTV winning with like some
of their $5 shows and they're like doubling some housewives numbers. I mean, they'd be
amazing. You among us numbers. And so I think Bravo is getting in on that sweet, sweet
housewares money. Absolutely. And you know what though when we went to New York last week or we can have to go
One of our listeners was a producer on one of those HE TV shows
So I'm happy I'm happy that like you know, I'm glad she's doing well
I'm glad she's doing well, but I agree like we should bravo should have have some of have a slice of that cake
I can't buy that that HGTB pie. Get it girl.
Get it.
Popcorn ceiling pie.
Yeah, and also some things on food.
Now, there are some things that are just very surprising to me.
I'm like, how are people watching this over, you know,
Tamra be able to share on it?
Like, what the hell people?
Oh, come on.
Great segue.
Great segue.
Well, you were saying a couple new shows.
I haven't watched this.
Welcome to Waverly.
Yeah, I started watching it because because brother did that fucking tricky thing
You know what have the guts to stand behind your shows and stop trying to trick people into watching them by doubling up my DVR space, okay?
Oh, Dirk did it. Oh mine didn't do that. I was I didn't I didn't get like a little hint of Waverly
They automatically look for the Waverly for you. Yeah, and they're like, oh my god, we're so liberal
I can't believe we're in a small town. It's like the walking dead
And I was like, yeah, so I didn't watch it yet
That's probably their their attempt to sort of do a career. I like to you know
The the new career I vibe, but I feel like it's not gonna be good shows
I think they're gonna like burn it off because they're doing for episodes this week
Well the reaction seems to be pretty good on L intraneto.
Well, that's nice.
People seem to be into it.
So that's good.
So I'll watch it later.
I'm going to the dentist today to get my whole fucking face taken off apparently.
So I'll watch it today when I'm in pain.
And I'm sure that'll add, add to my vitriol.
Next time we come back to it, I'll be like, damn that's showing its caps.
Well, speaking of the dentist,
we should probably get this show on the road,
Charlie, why don't we pivot over
to Real House of Orange County,
which finally gave us the fireworks
we've been so desperately needing
from these crazy, crazy ladies.
Look, when in doubt, just to make Shannon feel
like she's absolutely insane.
Yes.
And also Shannon is absolutely insane.
Now, here we are.
We're in the middle of two seasons, right?
Well, we're towards the end of Dallas.
So we were talking about this last week on Dallas.
How we're at that part of the season
where everybody's just wrong, right?
And now we're kind of on that part of Real House
was a foreign Academy, too.
Yes.
Because Shannon is acting like just Cucula Rue, you know,
she's nuts.
Yes.
But then everybody keeps pushing her and pushing her
and trying to make her act crazier.
And then they're like, what?
Yeah.
What'd we do?
Yeah, I mean, Tamra really got to be Evil Tamra,
this episode.
And it was nice to have Evil Tamra back.
You know, we always knew she would turn on Shannon.
And it finally came to fruition.
So this week's episode opens up,
it's night two in Jamaica.
There's still no air conditioning,
they're all miserable still,
and they're now getting ready to go out to dinner
and whatever.
And Shannon is like, she's trying to get ready,
but she's like in a towel, but she's like,
hey, well, David, David, there's no air conditioning
and I'm sweating.
I don't know how I could be cute if there's no air conditioning sort of like being in a marriage with no love, David there's no air conditioning and I'm sweating. I don't know how I could be cute if there's no air conditioning
Sort of like being in a marriage with no love David David
It is one hundred degrees
You try to look your best and everyone's like oh Jesus just get ready would you yeah?
Exactly put on the tube dress and get done with it. Well, I don't know if I don't know if tube dresses are really shiny
I'm a tube dress. I don't know what I don't know That's dresses are really shaneless. I don't know what I don't know.
I don't know that's where I went.
I think I just was thinking of Tamra.
I was like, put on a tube dress, batch.
So the kids, as they like to refer to themselves,
now on this show, go get on their bus.
And Tamra's like, oh my God,
no one wants swam bass on the way to dinner, batch.
Yeah.
No, no climbing onto the bus.
And Tamra is the first of the penthouse A, the choice A penthouse to get on the bus.
Yeah.
And she's like, oh my god, Shannon is taking forever.
Her hair's not done.
She's sweating.
Let's just go.
There'll be at least 20 minutes.
I'm like, okay.
So we know where Tamra's going with this because she's already complaining about her
impacing everybody off. Then she's leaving them there, which is classic
house wise for fuck you, let's fight later. Yeah, exactly. So because here's the
thing, if she didn't want to fight, she would have hung out with them and she
would have had cocktails with them. She's like, let's just go for a while. I mean, who cares about them?
But the fact that she's getting on the bus with them and going off the restaurant, yes.
A bad line has been drawn in the proverbial sand.
And so-
She's also beginning the storyline
that she's gonna hammer home all day,
which is, guys, Shannon's drinking.
And she's like, is this tonight
I'm gonna be ready to party?
This is the night because now I'm drinking.
It's not fun, you guys.
It's not fun that she's getting drunk enough
to be able to handle you.
Yeah, exactly.
And Emily's like, well, I'm excited
because I'm gonna finally get to see
Fun Shannon tonight and I was like, uh-oh.
And by the way, you know that Tamer knows,
well, we don't for sure that Kelly knows
that Shannon hates being called Fun Shannon these days.
And Tamer knows too.
And Tamara's perfectly happy to let Emily walk right into that trap.
Yeah.
And Gina's ready too.
She's like ready to fight every time Shannon comes in.
Because Gina, the younger women, and I noticed this especially right in a row with Gina and
Lydia, they are just ready to fight with their mom.
Yeah.
That's how Lydia seemed last year when she was trying to start a fight
every single time she saw Shannon.
And that's Gina's too.
You know, she's like, you know, like what?
Tonight she decides we could fun Shannon instead of
rude Shannon.
Like I'm fun Gina all the time.
Okay, name one.
Name one time, please.
Yeah, exactly.
She's like, I'm fun Gina all the time.
Like the other day I was like, oh my God,
I'm getting divorced.
Isn't that fun?
Fungina is getting divorced, but we have a great relationship.
And I live in a casino.
Oh my god, Fungina lives in a casino now.
Fungina.
I have the most of voice ever when I'm crying.
So now that the restaurant, the women,
the first batch of women arrive, Kelly wants, Kelly orders a mojito, but she wants vodka instead
of rum, which I feel like it's a completely different cocktail. Am I crazy?
Just pour some sugar in some vodka. We've a little bit there.
What vodka? I'll suck on some miking, I guess, while I drink some vodka.
So now it's 9.30 pm, and Vicki and Shannon are finally ready to leave their hotel room. Meanwhile the
ladies left like an hour ago, okay. So Shannon is, again the van and Shannon's like, she
is ready to be fun Shannon. She's like, huh, well I'm practicing my crazy Shannonism's
looking me. I'm, I've been drinking so much I can't even drink this cocktail in the van.
I've just been it back in the glass because I'm crazy. Fun shinin! Fun!
I just almost swallowed ice!
FINE!
HAHA!
HAHA!
HAHA!
I think that's like a palaton.
I'm dehydrated. Oh my god, I'm dehydrated. Yeah, we know Vicki. You're not wearing a shirt.
Okay.
Poor Vicki, whatever look she was going for within three minutes of stepping out of that hotel, it was already gone.
She looked like a melting candle all episode.
She looked like a citronella candle, you know, and you're like, what is that weird medicinal
smell?
And then you're still getting eaten alive by mosquito, or alive by mosquitoes, you know?
Yeah, it's like really like this is, this is what society has given us to deal with mosquitoes,
a giant bucket with a wheel smelling candle
Yeah, we just want to put Vicki in our backyard the scare way the mosquitoes
I guess I mean some I guess it helps a little bit
But I feel like we could do better right now the mosquitoes are like that lady is tricking in macrame
So let's try the next backyard
There's a mosquito like hey hey guys, come on, go lay circle around.
Can we just like, just you want, you just realize, you know what would be good, let's just
go inside.
Um, let's just go into hibernation now.
Yeah, like, you know, why don't, let's just, let's just go.
So the, uh, it's important to know that Shannon Vicki both show up wasted, okay?
Yes.
Because later in the episode, Vicki's like, oh my god, we were diva drunk.
We had like, I don't know, like, we thought of a drink.
We didn't, we barely even had one.
Like, maybe we had a drink.
You liar, you're both showing wasted, showing up wasted, and letting us know you're
wasted on purpose.
Yeah, exactly.
Which is great.
Good for you.
I'm only bringing you that because it becomes a thing later.
So Gina's like, what the kitchen react in
It's a fun person and her name is Shannon
So they all is gonna be hateful this whole time and this is why it's hard to come on Shannon's side because Shannon just starts to say
Hopefully she walks in she's like huh, we're very very sorry
I guess
Huh, we're very, very sorry. Mm-hmm.
I don't like this.
One more best thing here.
Huh.
And sort of looks like a gastropob
and we know how my feelings are on gastropob
saying there are sugary sauces.
Shannon is like one of the few people
who could really exhibit very hateful behavior.
And for some reason, I just like her more and more.
Like the crazier she gets, the more the more like
unwound she becomes, the more I just really enjoy her.
You know?
Well yeah, it's like she's earning her paycheck. And I read the internet comments sometimes
and I think, oh my god, it's like people really do forget, real housewives memory, how
we forget. You guys always remember that Shannon is the one who had emotional debris stuck up her
butt as a storyline that she had to get pulled out by David, okay?
It wasn't even anything real.
It was emotional debris.
Why is anybody surprised?
Yeah, exactly.
So, Vicki and Shannon joined the table and we learned that in next week, Shannon is going
to be getting her eyelids done.
And so, I guess this night is her last night to drink
because you can't drink for a week
before the surgery or something like that.
So she's ready to partay.
Fun Shannon might be coming out at last.
Yeah.
And she even starts criticizing the mojitos.
She's like, oh, there's a mojito.
Oh, she's all mad.
Yeah.
And then there's also like some mysterious special on the menu, because when the waitress comes
over, it's like, oh, hey, man, what do you want to have for dinner?
I'll have this special, all of this special.
I don't really guess I'll have the special.
I like this special, please.
It's like everyone was obsessed with the special.
Was the special?
We never know. Yeah. And so
Tamer's like, sa, color, what guys have you talked to since you've been here? And
Kelly's like, not a toe stottle. Alright, girls, we need to learn how to
rope in the talent. Oh, I gotta show you some of my moves. Okay, here's one.
See a hot guy and go, Hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I see
myself in your
band.
You little bitch.
You're a dork with a mirror.
Who doesn't need your pants?
You're a dork.
You're a dork.
You're a dork.
Why do you have a million of pants?
Chad, I'm just a 60s cuz I'm voting for dick.
You know, arms tired.
Looks like you just flew in here. Oh, I got that wrong. So um
Sandin just sitting there drinking while Kelly's talking about her moves and she's
This is a ball of fun. Yeah, not like a cheese ball of fun, which I could totally go for right now, but it's a regular ball of fun
Wow, this is what I consider a real good night out
follow fun. Wow, this is what I consider a real good night out. Wow. And then Tamara,
even when Tamara's being innocent and you can't find fault with her, I can't. Okay? Because she's like, so Cali, but she's a dating service. As we know, Tamara has hoots
shannon up with the dating service and Kelly. Yeah. No, I'm scared of that. And Tamara
goes, yeah, that be scary.
Like you just sat Shannon up on wood.
Exactly.
You're an awful human being and thank you for at least coming to make your money today,
okay?
Exactly and Shannon's continuing to modder.
Well, because, well, because I know it's so riveting, so riveting.
This is a fun dinner.
Not.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Oh, there he is.
Um, the conversation's not revolving. Um, and the little Ann.
The conversation's not revolving around her, so she's bored.
You know, maybe she should join into the conversation.
Uh-oh, actually, she said, the conversation isn't revolving her.
I'm like, do conversations literally need to turn Chairman in her chair?
David, oh my god.
That's a circle!
Huh?
We're jerking!
Archie! Hold your music in.
Coming around again.
Oh, it's like that Carly's singing song.
Coming around again.
I know nothing seems same, but it will be coming around.
Oh god.
Oh my circle.
I'm gonna circle.
I'm gonna have this conversation if I can sit on a lazy Susan while I do it.
You know, he could add a little needle to my butt and make a play a song on the thing below me. Round round baby round round like a Shannon player.
Look at me just like a little I feel like I'm a cake and a dying
turn just going around and around.
Speaking of which I will have a slice of cake thank you.
Well here's to fun Shannon and I because everyone says fun
Shannon is coming out so here's to Fun Shannon and I, because everyone says Fun Shannon is coming out, so here's
to Fun Shannon.
Let's be clear.
Shannon is always Fun Shannon.
Let's get that straight, guys.
I am never not fun.
Even though I am going through a terrible divorce right now and David is he's berating
me, but I'm fun. Uh-huh. Fun, fun, Shannon, fun.
I think it's fun with everyone else.
So I'm just waiting to meet Shannon.
That's fun for me.
Because everyone else seems to have met
Fun Shannon, but I have it.
So I'd like to meet her.
She's like, oh, wow, it's OK.
OK, Feetus.
The tamer tell you how bad I am with chains.
I am taking this on the chain.
Okay, I am not gonna get mad about this.
David?
David, I think it's time to go to commercial.
Do you wanna go to commercial, David?
David?
David.
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Uh, so, so, uh, Jammer's like, yeah, but the girls, the thing that you bum even give them a chance.
And she's, I gave her a chance, we had a lovely dinner together.
And then it's like six weeks ago, Shannon and Gina just sitting there dinner staring
at their plates.
Yeah, exactly.
Like I said, it was a great dinner.
She didn't say a word.
They use this music queue a lot in this show, which is one of my all-time classic favorite
R.O.J.'s R.H.O.C. cues. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom like an episode one, these people are consistent. There's a whole article in The New York Times this weekend about the music and the real housewives.
I didn't actually read it yet,
but like a million people sent it to us.
But it is kind of funny how like all these musical signatures,
you know, for each counter.
Oh, recognize them.
Mm-hmm.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Bam!
So now, so now Shannon starts going to her new default
argument, she's like, well, you know, I have, there's a lot going on in my life these days. A lot.
I have a dog. I have to stuff a lot of cream cheese in a lot of salmon flays. It's a lot.
Archie has laid a lot of landmines in that backyard. Archie, what are you eating?
I was so happy. What are all the stuff going on in my life? Huh.
Huh.
Yeah, you know what?
That's a lot of new things, too.
China.
She's got tons of stuff.
She's got just tons of new stuff.
And China's like, yeah, I got new stuff, too.
I'm scared.
Let's hang out.
Let's get you together.
Let's do new together.
Which sounds like a weird pop song from the 80s
Just like well, man
Whatever your name is down there at the end of the table
Was it marina? Oh marina. I apologize, but I am also justified because I have to make a future for myself
I am Shenabeador making a future for the future shannins of the bedores
and Archie's and
Sammons and of the bedoors and Archie's and Sam and Sam have a cocktail.
I can't breathe.
Did you notice when they cut back to Sam and she was on from her pink drink to
downing a full martini? I did not notice that.
They're evil on this show. So Emily's like, look at a mother of three toddlers
and say,
I have too much on my plate to say hello.
That's the biggest bunch of BS I've ever heard.
And I'm very dishaned, okay?
Shannon's like, okay, all right, let's just nip this in the invisible girl at the end of the tape.
If I haven't given enough attention to you, Casper, I am sorry,
but I am justified in where I have to fight it my time because I have to make a few terms for my children.
This is cool. She thinks she doesn't have time for you.
Don't you put quite some of my mouth. Don't you dare!
But wait, in my mouth!
I will take a tortilla chip though. I will.
Now nachos, you can put in my mouth. That would be great.
Okay, um, if your words happen to be made of corn flour and have been fried into little
adorable triangles, then yes, you can put your words in my mouth.
So Gina's like, you know what, it's not so hard.
I mean, you could just say, hey, how are you?
Like, how is your day?
And she's like, yeah, they were telling me today I probably a rough day at the fetch that you don't even talk to them and look to the eye batch
And she's like oh, I love people in the eye for example just tortilla
This tortilla is a great friend of mine and I'd look it in the eye all the time
I say hey mr. Tortilla enjoy this last moment of happiness cuz you're going down the
Mr. Tortilla enjoy this last moment of happiness because you're going down the
And Gina says with camera like she's my friend, okay, and she gives me the time of day. Tell me it's like yeah
Let her see
Yeah, and then and then Gina's like yeah, but you don't check in with her when her husband is hot surgery, so what kind of a good friend are you?
At which point, it is now like Shannon does a full on like loony tunes, like the red comes
up from her feet all the way up to her forehead, and then the steam just comes out of her ears.
She's like, ah!
I'm trying to be fun Shannon because everyone's like, where's fun Shannon?
Well, where's fun Emily?
Okay, because fun Emily has one fucking glass champagne a night and we're when we go out
That's not fun. That's sad. Sad Emily. What is my champagne have to do with anything?
I don't need drinks to be fun Emily or like have friendships with people. So, oh, thank you. Yeah, wait,
fun Emily. In defensive fun Emily, what is my champagne have to do with anything? Wait,
to prove your fun Emily. Samem is going through all movements of Sam and fighting. Okay. She started
with her looking at the table passive aggressively whispering stuff. Then she looked at looking at
you past your head,
and pretending to talk to you quietly with this thing,
even though she's not really talked to you.
Then she moved on to the workout part,
which was karate hand chop talking.
You know, where she's like,
well, this is what I do here.
With her karate hands.
And now she's into Bandito shooting Shannon,
where her fingers are just pointing at the sky.
Yes.
She's fully doing music. into Bandito shooting Shannon, where her fingers are just pointing at the sky. Yes.
She is fully doing music.
And then every so often, my favorite part is throughout all this, they've just like cut to
Vicki, who is just fully melting.
Like just like her hair or his like become crimped, you know, like, or there's like parts
she's got red patches on her skin.
You know, she's like, I think I'm going to talk about the big bunny we see in the corner
of the room is like, no, you're hallucinating and you need some water.
So now they've got Shannon where they've been trying to gather this whole time, which
is just going fucking crazy. I mean, there's always one episode of season where they just
try and put Shannon in the same asylum and this is it. So they've got Shannon doing Bantito fingers
and she's like screaming, so now Tamara goes, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, right now, Tamra will tell you right now I'm a very good friend to her.
Like Silo. Yeah. Come on Tamra. Say it. Say I'm a good friend. Tamra, like, go ahead Tamra. Tell it.
I want to have a good friend, like, call you at midnight to check in on you by crying.
Gellie's like, yeah, come on Tamra. Come on.
And Tamra is just quite in shenan's Shannon starts doing her head shake after Sias, you know?
I have a rapid job, I have a bit of a shot this guy, and no, I'm just down the head shake.
I am leaving!
That cream cheese is starting to leak out of the salmon, the cream cheese is leaking, the cream cheese!
So Tamra's like, so is Shannon a good friend, and Tamra's like, I mean, fuck'm like, my cream just... So, Tamar is like, like, so is Shannon a good friend and Tamar's like, I mean, fuck me!
Fuck me!
You know, which then is like, Tamar's like, oh, great, great.
Excuse me, if you don't mind, I will just stand up very calmly, because I am an adult,
and this is what adults do, and I am just going to walk into another room and have a very quiet moment in
the bathroom where I shall not be screaming. I will simply dab my eyes with a
cloth and be very civil, right? I will find me, you can find me in Shannon's
morning place which is called the local bathroom. I will just go right over here. And she sure does support of the child attendant runs out of there like dropping
Tootsie pops from her pocket. She's like, oh my god, that lady's crazy. Yeah. So
Gina's like, what did I do? Like, I'm not a lot to say the truth. That's not fair I was just trying to say
Island we just talk so yeah Shannon's the bathroom now she's ranting which is the best
I mean Shannon ranting in the bathroom is what we live for every season
How dare she say I'm not a good friend you I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it
God dammit. I have so much shit on my plate! Like, even you made me so much selfish night, it's not fair!
I drop everything! I drop everything! I have so much on my plate!
I have tortillas, I have guacamole, I have... I have...
K so, I have a lot of things, and I have to decide how I'm gonna eat them in what order!
How?
Jammer's like, we all have a lot on our plates, batch the differences that...
The rest of us don't eat what's on the plate, okay?
Then we cut back to the table and think he's just sitting there like kind of twirling her straw hair
Like and she is she's doing it in Gina's face, you know, cuz she's like, oh my god. What do I do?
Do I go to the back? I don't really have to eat like I don't want to have to sit the bathroom with her to get
Yeah, fuck it chatted, you know, like fuck it. What am I supposed to be nice to cast over there?
At this point Vicky's like left eyeball is down by her chin.
Her nose is drifted to her ear.
She just looks like a Picasso.
So, yeah.
You're like, uh, everybody, if you look at the window,
you can see an entire swarm of mosquitoes
that have left a restaurant we'd like to think
to scratch the lady here.
If anyone would like to have a scoop of this oversized ice cream sundae, oh I'm sorry Mrs.
Montgomery.
I don't even know what accent that was.
That was definitely not a shaker.
I'm not sound to Vicki, okay.
Sunday face.
So we're back in the bathroom.
Vicki's like, wrap it up.
Wrap it up.
Okay, because this is like enough.
It's like talking about Shedded.
Like who's going to get in trouble later?
Me like I've never counted. He will be in my life. Okay. Wrap it up. So we're back in the bathroom. Okay, because this like enough is like talking about Shedded like who's gonna get trouble later be like a never-counter
He will be dead by life, okay?
The wrap it up. So back in the bathroom, Shan, it's like
Ha, she's a cock!
You said I'm not that frank! You call me and I drop everything to answer that phone for you!
In terms of like I drop everything to Batch, what's your point?
And do you know how many simons with cream cheese I have trapped on the floor when that phone rings?
Not because you never call me. I call you
Can it turn it around the new tamer
Yeah, but look at Janice has been like he left her like she's the chef's bettas
She's like what her husband isn't be writing her every day like minus. I mean, oh, she's having sex with her It's rough up her face with her her powder thingy whatever you call it powder puff
She's like oh
40 to 15 negative powder puffs
She just looks like she's in Amadeus at the end. I wanted this to be different with David
She's think I wanted David to sit there and eat chips. That's aggressively while I made King well
No, I tried to hang out with him like her Sunday beach dinners or whatever.
Like oh my god.
Yeah.
You think I wanted this for myself? You think I wanted to be the marriage with a
husband who brings two bottles of wine for ten people at a dinner party? No! No!
So I'm back at the dinner table because I'm like, all right, all right, wrap it up. Put it
bit of it. Put it pin in it up, put it in it, put it in it.
And Gina got put it in it.
Oh my god, okay, Gina's just repeating point.
Yeah, she's like,
and then he's like,
that's all so great.
I love the show.
That's all.
And then that special spirit.
I see yourself in my crop.
I see myself in your crop.
So Vicki's like, okay, okay, guys, guess what?
You can be a specialist, okay?
Because I'm not fighting. I've stayed in the middle. Plus, there are fewer regulations
on herbal cancer treatments for dytete rubles so much. Okay, copy. Hey, look at me. Do I look
like I've got marshmallow swirling around in me? I do. Because I'm Swiss mess. Okay, I'm
Swiss. Swiss, Switzerland. Depends on a little, a little, a little, a tadter. Okay. Does anyone
want me to make them a clock? Okay, good, cuz I'm sweat, Switzerland.
I have eaten the holes in all of your cheese, okay? I'm sweat, I'm sweat All right. Well, what do you want me to put my makeup on in the dark?
That means positive attack.
Yeah. She's like, I am positive. Do you know how many times I wake up in the
morning and I go, I am blessed. I don't wake up in a bad mood in the morning.
It's I wake up and then I get overwhelmed because I've got so many great things.
I have 30 to 40 happy switches inside me. It's like
click click click click happy happy happy. Ah, I was so happy.
Do I do I want to say negative? No, no, no, no. So Kelly and Vicki come in and
they're like, we got to switch to the CV. The shuntarman's like, I love how they're dashing about the constant
negativities and the dwelling on the negative.
Look, that's all you've done.
That's all you literally do.
This entire time is talk about what a negative person Shannon is.
Like, uh, doesn't make you more negative.
Exactly.
And I love Shannon, who's now still trying to convince us that she's super positive.
She's like, I pinch myself when I wake myself up in the morning
Because I'm so happy and Kelly just goes what are you saying? What are you saying? She's like so confused about where the conversation has gone in the bathroom?
You pinch yourself. That's stupid. You mean to yourself. You mean
Oh, you mean to yourself. You mean you mean
So then So then restaurants closed so the ladies start boarding the van and tamar's like oh my god
Just the best man. I'm just trying to make up in possesses and then Shannon is with Kelly outside and Kelly's like wait
Stop bitching yourself and Shannon's like this girl trying say, I'm not a good friend to Tamra, that is bullshit.
Kelly goes, well yeah, but it's because Tamra says that.
Oh.
Kelly was great this episode.
So Shannon's like, huh?
Well, I thought that was squashed.
I mean, I thought we were going to be getting a squash puree.
Do we get that?
Or is the restaurant still closed?
OK, all right.
Anyway.
So then we see a flashback of, you know,
because they did squash it when they went to that garden
place like several episodes ago.
But now we have a flashback of Tamra bitching about Shannon
being a bad friend on that river thing they went to yesterday.
So clearly it's not squash because it is Tamra.
So nothing's ever squashed with Tamra.
Yeah, and then in the van everyone's like,
oh, Shannon's coming.
Like, you guys did this, okay?
It's like, I'm not saying that Shannon has just a total free pass
to be a Kuku bird.
She overreacts to everything and she's always done it
ever since she's been on the show.
And the stuff that they're complaining about,
I think is legit.
I think they're all right with their saying to Shannon.
Yeah.
They know she's like this.
And if they really think that she's got mental issues,
then why are they all going after her
and trying to make her scream on purpose?
You guys are the worst.
Yeah, and Tamra is an under minor
and she will kick someone when they're down
and make it look like she's trying to support them.
And so, so now...
Well, she pushed them down first
and then she'll kick them.
Yeah, she's the worst.
So now they're on the buzz and it's awkward.
And Tamra's doing this thing like,
Fit this switch. Now that's hundra, Fit this switch. and they shall kick them. Yeah. That's just worse. So now they're on the bus and it's awkward and Timer's doing this thing like,
fit this switch.
Now that's the time to fit this switch.
All I'm saying is stop being
not gonna have you get a bit positive.
And she was like,
well, I can try to be positive,
but apparently I thought we had an issue
that we resolved.
Not to go and you still have an issue.
Your life Shambodora killed by a tamer's grudges.
Ah! I shouldn't known when we were at
Tom's plants, but broken ankles smelling manure. It's just with shit, shit, camera back.
And so then Shanna just puts her face in her phone. You know she's got that glow in her face.
And Gina's like, I'm the victim. I'm going to go play some words with friends, which I guess doesn't apply to anyone in this fan because I don't see a friend here
So enjoy playing your fix gravel with that me
Tim was like I am not gonna be a hot punching bag
I'm punching bag. It's like if only oh my god that would really give the show good ratings
Yeah, so in Vicki was like okay look I'm gonna say this shed it for a lady punching bag. It's like if only, oh my God, that would really give the show good reigning.
So in Vicky, he was like, okay, look, I'm going to say this, shed it for a lady.
I think Gita was coming from a good place.
She said that.
That's hot.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm so, it's Switzerland calling, okay?
I've got to get off the phone quickly, because it's like that $10 a bit.
It's a hot tooth over here.
Okay.
Wow.
That's a big nut and something.
Can we, can we just say a prayer? I just, I just need a breath. Okay, that was three. mountains. I'm just like, can we just take a breath?
I'm just like, just gonna breath.
Okay, that was three.
Can we just have like just a few more breaths like that?
And like maybe, maybe some, maybe, maybe a cheeto in there too.
I'd like to say, Vicki, thank you so much for saying that.
This is so true.
Thank you.
Okay, thank you.
I would just like to tell Shannon that I'm
thinking Vicki right now that's standing up for me and get Shannon and you
get that you hear that lady and then she does this thing I'm like you know I don't
want you to be upset I feel really bad now I'm feel really bad because in
Long Island this is just talking but here this is crime making so I feel bad
This is the awkward bus
Super fun Emily. Yeah, fun Emily. So Vicki's like okay. Well, here we are the that's epic you guys better that cat
How about you guys stay down to some minute. I'm completely, non-crazyly and non-emotionally wash my face with very hot room. I just...
I just...
Oh wait, from here.
I just... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, moment and I will be seen and as I am a good friend I will probably then call
from that bathroom and check in on tamer to see how she's feeling.
That's true because you know she totally whatever they just let her go.
Stash you've been like, think, think, think, think, think,
how dare you! I'm gonna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, no, no, we stay together. We stay together. Otherwise you get killed. Michael Myers is up there. Be careful.
Michael Myers. Michael Myers. Michael Myers. Michael Myers.
Why are you gonna go watch your face?
You look good, Shannon. You look good.
Oh.
Kelly, I just need to go.
I mean, stop. No, stop.
I mean, stop, stop following me. Stop. No, no, no.
No.
Because, Dan, we're like, you can't do it fast.
I'm like, is she about to jump into a volcano?
Why is everybody acting like this?
They're so savage now!
I have, I have made my decision and I am joining the Bob Slat team, goodbye!
Cool running's my ass!
I'm cool running away from you.
Which is ironic, because there's no air conditioning. Ha! Ha! I'm getting running away from you. What she is ironic because there's no air conditioning
So she's trying to run away and she said you better stop following me. I'm gonna take off this microphone
So then she stops to take off her microphone, but it's like she can't get it out of her spanks
Which I was dying because that is so me
This is like like she's gonna like, like,
be a non-memory is back to, like, being stuck in her spin bike.
Huh? Well, I just have to just extract myself.
This should be easy. I'll just take this one wire
and clearly it's just plugged in right here.
I mean, surely it's not tangled on anything, but...
Oh, okay. Well, maybe a little bit.
Okay, well, let's get...
Alright, anyway, I guess there's a lot more wire here than I expected
I
I'm not gonna look now
Shinnopoulos now
The the trauma of that bike so she's trying to run. She's like getting her mic off humble and can't and Tamra's chasing her
She's gone
fun ball and can't and Tamer is chasing her she's going you can't tell that you're con shenan stop freaking out what do you keep freaking out with just time to help
you you oh damn wrong I feel blank side and I need a minute and I deserve it
so Tamer goes back to the girls and she's like, this is exactly but I never
confront Shannon. She's scrimving your cover.
It's not much.
Yeah, which is a funny invitation.
Kelly's like, yeah, but how can you have a friendship like that?
We can't even say anything because you're scared.
You're scared.
You're scared.
Look at your.
You're scared.
You're scared.
Bitch. That's what you are. You're scared of Look at you. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared bitch. That's what you are. You're scared bitch.
Scary bitch
Shannon me while I was like I need to decompress
How do you think I press? Huh? Do you compress Shannon? Do you compress Shannon? Hmm?
Just die she put up the podcast just decompress there. Oh
I was waiting for the end
Sorry, I was letting for the end. Sorry.
I was listening.
There was no end.
That was just saying that she needs to decompress.
Fun Channel is decompressed.
So, Gina's like, I feel completely responsible that I
and Chantis B, she's changed up so tightly.
I mean, this is another level for someone from Long Island.
Okay, I just thought we was on vacation.
Like you little A whole.
And I say thank you, Gina.
Thank you for unleashing the beast
because it is what we needed right now.
Like this, this season was really,
was really starting to head towards a big L
and you just saved the season.
Yeah, so they go into the bar and they're in,
and Gina's like, God, this is boring.
Is it music?
Like can someone just find me an older woman to wind up and play a great? So they go into the bar and they're in tune and they're like, God, this is boring. Is it music?
Can someone just find me an older woman to wind up and play a great?
So now it's like time to really pile on to Shannon while she's upstairs doing whatever.
So Tammy's like, you know the thing with Shannon's is she never works.
She doesn't even work.
She doesn't work.
Get a job.
Get some insurance.
I'll sell insurance. Because I think you're doing my part. Sorry.
It's my line.
Think you're reading my off my q-code.
And then they, yeah, Tamara Kelly and Vicki are all going in because like who drives the kids to school?
What do you care?
You're a weird thing to ask, you know?
Yeah, and they're making fun of Shannon for complaining about her $13,000 rent
and how apparently Shannon called up Tamra.
And was like, huh, did I have to pick up the kids
from school and get the mail?
They're like, that's all we, I'll do a batch.
Kelly's like, oh my God, she has so much money, yeah.
Do you know there are people in the world
who are starving me waiter
Hotels she needs to go to Compton. I like that's Kelly's new thing
She's got a Compton she's joined the Crips join the Crips and then she'll know
Then Vicki rewriting history. She's like, you know, we're dead that I got a divorce I cried every day
I had to get medicine and then it got me through the bumps.
And so now they're on this medication kick like Shannon needs to go on medication, which
I'm no doctor, but hey, if it'll help you go for it.
I mean, I just think it's the big deal is Shannon has a fit about it, but Shannon takes more pills than
anybody I've ever seen. Exactly. And you know, a really good way to prove that you don't need medication is to throw a full
on-danger room in your room.
I mean, she's up there probably like throwing plates against the wall.
Yeah, pretty much.
Or like beating a PA or whatever.
And so, this is where they really get in trouble, these three.
And they're going to have some Santa Storms.
This is going to be a reunion.
Yeah.
This is going to be a reunion fodder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vicki's like, I remember with David said that like she'd sleep till 10 or 11 at the boarding
and I was like, who takes the kids to school?
And Kelly goes, it's depression.
And most of the, he must have been a saint to stay with her that long.
Like don't get me wrong.
Like she's a good girl, but to deal with that day in day out
it must be draining yeah that's gonna be a reunion moment like yeah I guess I guess
the same here I guess I guess I'm just like a new sense I guess I'm just a burden to all of you
I get it Kelly I get it burden Shannon is here yeah and know, I have to not be a total hypocrite and just
remind myself that that's what I said last year. It's like David may be an asshole, but
it's still like it's so much every day. Shannon is so much just like harping, harping,
going, going. Oh, yeah, always mad. Always mad. But then I really turned the corner when
David just went off like that once he did leave like it what a monster
I mean he was a monster enough when they lived together. They were both at fault
Yeah, she's not have cheated like the thing is this like I do I do imagine that Shannon is probably a very
emotionally needy friend and spouse, but it's at the same time
Kimarator and like you
You it probably was a lot, but then you like you settle up and you like you move, it probably was a lot,
but then you like, you settle up and you like,
you move on, you don't cheat.
That's what I say.
Although I guess you know, it's easier
to always say those things, but,
well, I mean, after, oh my God.
He really, like now he's got long hair.
He was a prick during a bit.
That was like passive aggressive dick.
Now he's just like aggressively a monster. He's like everywhere you turn. Yeah, yeah. Now he's just like aggressively a monster.
He's like everywhere you're in.
Yeah, yeah.
Now he's the Kraken.
So now, the Kraken.
So now after this bar, now we go up to Penthouse A
and the girls are back up there.
And Vicki Shannon is like doing something.
She was like puddling around, you know.
And Vicki's like, hey, Switzerland calling big news
from Lake Geneva.
Do you wanna go next door?
It's cool, I got air conditioning in a villa
and she goes, what do you mean next door?
I was like, oh God, she is on a tear.
She's even angry about the prospect of air conditioning.
Yeah, she's like, who is air conditioning
and why should I hang out with her?
I don't even know her.
Are you saying that I'm cold?
Am I cold?
Yeah.
And she's like, guys, guys, especially with you,
Damrock, I am so hurt. So beyond, beyond.
He's like, stop.
Stop.
We Chris off in M.H.U. in Tom's plants when our ankles are broken and you talk about
them to these girls and Kelly and you can ask me go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go that she won't even pack up her side I can't pack I hate change I can't I'm used to pantowze I'm used to it but she's just so she's just like
who's there conditioning when you've got somebody cold shoulders
well maybe I'll just take a page out of trader Tamers book and just open up the
fridge and stand in that cool air which would actually be good because I do
believe there are some nice yogurts in there and I do love my activity so excuse me while I go get a snack
that refrigerator tastes water to women's bus girls this morning I will never
talk to that refrigerator
I am a good friend to that refrigerator I check in on it I drop everything to
fix that refrigerator. Everything.
So they are, she's just freaking out now, okay?
And they've got all these fans hung in the room,
so they all look like they're trying to be Beyonce,
because they're like streaming and fighting,
but then their hair's like,
PEE!
It starts blowing back like they're all surfing
on a show in the 50s.
It's like Alvin and the Chipmunks win.
Alvin's like on a little surfboard in the opening
credits and he's like oh wow Alvin surfing out of way but then it turns out they're just blowing a fan in the bathtub.
Yeah. And Vicki's like rap it up. Rap it up chipmunks.
Or rap it up out. Because here I come.
Sorry to beat the Dave with the group but let's rap it up. Okay let's rap it up.
Really Vicki. Really Vicki? Oh I only talk about myself and not you.
Are you kidding me right now?
At this point, she's added. I love you. I care about you, but I've
David and Switzerland. And I've got four little chipmunks to take care of.
Who's he really pretty? So I could lead out.
Yeah, at this point, this is when fully Transitions into Celeste Halpert from Soapdash think and you and you
So so then yeah Kelly's like you're getting defensive
And she's like I help you
I am a kind I'm getting defensive because I- I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I I have done nothing but stand up for you and defend you to the death and the the clips
So the reunion where she's like you are fucking
Disciple and we will never be friends
And then he and Ricky's like no no no no no no no no no Switzerland now backs out Switzerland out Switzerland out
Well, well, well, well, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And then when she was saying,
I was wearing heads.
And then when Shannon's like,
you're gonna turn on me, Vicki, you're gonna turn.
And he was like, she's not.
Aww, she's not.
And Vicki's like, please, you did a face type
saying I'm a cod, whoop it.
I've never codded anybody my life.
I was like, okay, let's not take this too far now.
Okay, Shannon being an asshole doesn't mean that's not take this too far now. Okay. Here again
I'm being an asshole doesn't mean that you didn't do all that stuff. Okay, and then Shannon's like, oh you want to go there
Vicky's like whoa whoa that really put me there for big head. Where are you there? You never helped me you never hug me
Then Tamer is just like, why are you making out?
Now I just saw screaming at each other in front of these fans again.
Exactly.
And Shannon really is like, whoever's in front of her, she's gonna yell at.
Like she is really fully like, that's why she's like that, and you see, you know?
It's like, and you, and you, and then, you know, like, leave me out of it, and you,
and you.
So Kelly's like, calm down.
You're gonna give yourself a fucking heart attack.
You need to relax.
You need to relax.
How many 10,000 times?
I could have told you to calm down.
It's like, you actually have to calm down. You're gonna give yourself a fucking heart attack. You need to relax. You need to relax.
How many 10,000 times?
I could have told you to calm down.
It's like you actually told her that many times
and it's been fine, you know.
So, Kelly doesn't really funny impersonation of Shannon.
She's like, there is nothing you can say to this woman.
She's just like, I can never tell you.
You have no idea what I go through.
I was like, we know, we've been through it.
I don't share.
Half the shit I go through.
Half, you know what I share?
I share 100%, 100%.
And Kelly's like, we know what you've gone through.
We've been through it.
And then Tamara goes, I've been a braist.
Okay?
I've been a bravest. So whatever.
Like, girls, I tried to wet up with the rain.
But the time was like, you cry every single night.
It's like, I do not cry every single night anymore.
So then they start this medication thing.
And Kelly's like, but if you just go on some medications,
I am not going on medication.
Like, hmm, you have like an entire suitcase dedicated to pills.
Even Dr. Moon is like, I can't do anything with this.
Like, just go back to Eastern Western medicine right now.
So, I mean, she's like, I'm entitled to my pain.
I'm entitled to feel what I'm feeling.
She's doing this whole thing.
And now Tam tamers just getting
her sick. Yeah, I don't care anymore. I don't care anymore
Which you know then chance like you know what?
You know what then tamers just like
Just listen just listen
Subscribe if I want goddamn suck. I just listen had listen
I'm just like I do listen
I love one Shannon all of a sudden gets like super super calm. I am listening. What are you talking about here?
I have
Can you call them?
I'm listening
I'm medication
Yeah, so I'm not
I have kept my head together to launch a business and yeah
I want your business in five months in five months
Yeah, you saw you said I was a QVC and they said well
I've never seen someone launch a business within five months. I didn't pick up a no card from the floor like that
Tell me the only one with a business
Jesus and Santa's like oh wow, you know what?
Okay, you know what I am so happy I go through so much. I'm so happy I go through so much
And Kelly's like oh my god, we know
Yeah, and then Tamara just goes to her room and starts throwing things in her suitcase check
Get up on her to help
Like screaming get her suitcase and meanwhile by the way
Don't forget that only like 10 minutes ago
Tamara's like you need to flip the switch and be more positive in here, Sean's like, I'm excited about my life.
So don't say I'm crying because I'm excited.
She's like, fun bet you're not being honest.
Well, do you want to flip the switch or not, Tamra?
She's flipping the switch a lot.
She's, yeah, there's like, she's going to start electrical fire.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's going to short out this apartment.
So Kelly's like, Tamra and Kelly are both telling us,
it's cutting back and forth.
Tammer's like,
share Cosmic Effort morning in the middle of the night
at lunchtime at snack time.
Have Thermacle.
I mean, she's kind of,
she doesn't get a big hot bread.
And Kelly's like, yeah, she'll call Tammer,
and then she'll call me if Tammer doesn't answer.
And then if I don't answer, she calls Damra,
trying to find out, well, I'm not answering,
and she gets a seracle!
It sounds like a nightmare, honestly.
It does.
I mean, we've all had this friend.
We have.
It's awful.
It's so awful.
But even as awful as it is,
I love watching this happen on the show.
And then we've also had this friend,
who's just Vicky walking around and then finally she goes,
so please just sit me up, die.
Like she's been trying to answer her address like for two hours.
She, I think that's probably me that friend who's like, oh my god, we're so funny for two
seconds.
I'm going to throw up of herself.
Okay, great.
Go back to it.
Back to it.
She's just like, she's just like grabbed a corner of the paper towels in the kitchen and
has been wrapping herself up in it like a mummy just trying grabbed a corner of the paper towels in the kitchen and has been wrapping her some up in it like a mummy
Just trying to sap up on the sweat
So Kelly's telling Vicki. There's nothing wrong with medication. She's like God. I need some at this point and then
Tamra passes by and goes into Vicki's room and Shanna starts screaming again
She was just in her calm mode, but now she's like oh, oh Now you're going to Vicki's room and Shanah started screaming again. She was just in her calm mode, but now she's like, oh, oh, now you're going to Vicky's room.
She's talking about me.
Bye, my back.
Ha, no cream cheese salmon for you, tamarind judge.
Traitor.
Oh, gross.
And now they're screaming at each other over who said
that Shannon needs medication.
And Tamah's like, over there, I said that.
You know, fuck it, because I never said said that that and then they cut to Kelly saying it and then
Vicki agreeing with it and Tamra being like uh-huh uh-huh so it's okay you
don't say the exact words but like here we go it's like a typical housewise
right keep stirring the pot Tamra keep stirring the pot keep stirring it keep stirring that pot
and let me know what it's done because it actually smells delicious. I would love to have some of that chili. Thank you very much.
Keep stirring the issets cilantro in that pot. God I love that pot!
There's not that much sugar in the pot, is there? Because I do not like a sugary sauce.
So the next morning, Vicki wakes up with like a beard of nonzema.
Yeah, she's really weird in a law's face. It's like, ah, Switzerland's tough.
I've swissed in a Santa class.
You know, I got every little kid on Christmas board
and get a go.
I don't know.
Bad, don't pity 90 gift, okay?
They tell me I'm crampist, actually.
I don't know what that means.
So, you know, so she fully has like a weird Homer Simpson,
like a white Homer Simpson thing going on around her mouth.
And Kelly calls up Jolie.
You know, Jolie is just like, um, um, whatever.
I don't actually remember what Jolie is.
Yeah, she's just like, so then Tamer comes into Vicky's bed
and Vicky's like, hey, have a purchase.
You have a notice of breakfast for the phone.
Hi, it's me, Vika.
My princess wants egg wats and I would like eggs with the yellow parts and the white parts and
probably cheese too. Maybe fruit plate. Uh, yeah, so scrabble eggs. Okay, do you think shadow will
like bananas today? And Jammer's like, who are you talking to, that's me at the phone because
that lady does it now. She's like, okay. Okay. Meanwhile, it's like Kelly and her other friend be like,
okay, order up.
Kelly went downstairs and joined.
She's like, I want to show you how to work.
So I don't forget there's a work.
So now Vicki is very confident in her.
I've got Tabra back.
We could be like best friends laughing all the time.
Nobody could ever break us apart.
Yeah, which is every other season of this show and Shannon meanwhile is doing something that I don't advise
Which is she's taking a page out of the Peggy Peggy playbook from Iceland
Which is she shut herself in her room and is not answering any calls or texts?
Yeah, yeah, I said talk to my door
So Vicki is now turning the tide, okay?
Cause she's just been, everyone's just been yielded
up by Shannon.
So now she's like,
well, have you talked to Shattered?
She's like, I have the wedge for her.
I mean, she said she'd drank a lot.
That was her excuse, but I didn't even see her drink a lot.
And she goes, well, you know, yeah,
at the hotel we had like, what drink?
So what's that much?
I'm like, you were stumbling out of the hotel, you liar.
Yeah. And then, you know, did I like So what's in that much? Like you were stumbling out of the hotel you liar. Yes.
And then you know, did I actually do drink that much?
Which we saw her down like three drinks,
at least one of those was a huge martini.
Yeah, because, but then we got back.
I would have been to be like,
how's Shadit?
I just want to check on you that you know
that I love you no matter how mean you are to me.
And she was having vodka alone in the kitchen.
With a candlestick. I have nolestick I have no words I have no
words also I have a very limited vocabulary so I literally ran out of words
hmm I said he would see Kurobusted so yeah so now they're like gonna go and
have a fun day or whatever and theicky gets into some like macromame on
Strasity. I don't know what it is. And time is like, oh my god, you're like Beyoncé's or Jelluz or Jellanos.
I can't know what's right now. Or a Fadred Romana mash up that nobody needs to relive.
Yeah, exactly. It was nobody. It was not it was not pleasant Yeah, I was not cute, but so there like let's have fun
It's work and cause shattering alcohol the cold day
Let's do this and tamer of course is going to again undermine Vicky's just like to Vicky
I get but implants the cheat you some of this but I'm like it's called casseroles, okay?
Lots and lots of casseroles was Steve
That's what I can do. So Vicki calls Shannon on the bus. They're all the best neck-going. She's like, okay
I'm like God it was straight to voicemail. That's so weird. What does that mean? What it doesn't even rig?
That's so weird. She must be drunk. It didn't even rig. She has her phone off. You guys stop. Okay. Yeah
It's Vicki. We're going Babs that eat you know what If you don't want to go to Bob's study, I can stay back.
Okay, just something to know because we're out of the bus right now leaving you.
So, what was funny is they're on this bus or heading to this Bob's letting thing.
And I guess they're talking about various religions that are, I guess, on the island or in
Bob's letting or whatever. And they're like, is's wedding or whatever and they're like is it like
Cheshire, England or is it like Catholics and you know that the guy is saying and like what about Mormons?
He's like, oh yeah, we got Mormons and he goes my people he goes, yes white people
She's like no, no
Which is like I would never she's like basically she's, could you imagine if I just screamed out white people?
Oh, that was funny.
So then evil camera, here she is.
Like, it's not enough.
You've already got the woman barricaded in her room,
refusing to come out.
Let's just keep digging, Tamara.
So she's like, oh my god, you got this is crazy.
I got this text from Eddie, because I said I had it out with Shannon and then Eddie was like good for you, babe. You go girl
Like she has so much negative energy. I'm glad you got that out because all she does is complain and
Mud and bitch and she tried to do like shit. I'm glad you finally got it out. I was like wow
So you're betraying your husband at the same time as your best friend who does that?
they got it out. I was like, wow, so you're betraying your husband at the same time as your best friend. Who does that?
Yeah, exactly. And of course Eddie's gonna say finally because that's his role is that he just agrees with anything you do unless it's
telling him to take his medication.
Yeah.
Yeah, so they go to the Bob's letting place. Vicki serves the twerk, which is really like a
low moment for twerking. Everyone at the Miley Cyrus was the low moment. No, no, Vicky Gumbelsen's working in her macrame.
I think that we all need to agree.
Someone commented on our Facebook page,
and I thought it was hilarious, and all caps, she goes,
that is not twerking.
Yeah, which I think is such a good point.
I think we all need to agree what twerking is and isn't.
Okay, because we call it a lot of things twerking
on these housewives shows.
And no.
That's not working.
And it takes a lot of balls and a tin ear
to go to Jamaica of all places and then say, oh, I'm
working.
And you're like a six-year-old white lady who
is basically moving her butt like an inch up and down
in Macro May.
OK, like don't do that in Jamaica of all places. Okay, like don't do that in Jamaica of all places.
Okay, like don't do that in the West Indies where like people
can really to work. Okay.
And you're like, oh my God, I was tricky.
Huh, grab other shit.
Don't be tricky.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I was partying.
Fun Vicky, fun Vicky.
I love how they just keep, they're all declared.
They all have like this weird superhero side,
like fun, fun Emily, fun Shannon, fun Shannon fun Vicki. I don't know if any of these people are fun right now.
Yeah it's almost like they've all watched the past season in a half. Yeah. I
promise that's fun to bra. So then Tamer starts hitting again. She's like oh that
god look at this figure. This is the hands of I love, this is the hand, this one. Did she get about left?
So they go on this ski lift thing and then they get on their bob sled, they all start going down.
And Emily's like, I don't even know what I'm doing.
Fun Emily, fun Emily, don't need champagne.
Just need a bob sled that I don't know how to use.
Whoa. champion just need a Bob sled that I don't know how to use whoa so basically
they're all yay Bob sleds except Gina who's in the back alone she gets stuck on
the Bob sled alone it's over now I never I never always got by by myself
for that sucks that was really awkward alone thanks guys thanks thanks that
was a fun Bob Slade by myself
I was like a one-man Bob Slade team. That's it. A long island. We do it for people
Let's go get sure to that shop. Okay. I want to go get sure to that shop. Hey, hey guy who works here at the store
I want to get shattered. I want to get an extra large is something
It's actually a lot of you tell me you guys forget tell me
And she goes no no is for shattered Shattered okay like she's extra large
extra large extra large I'm a friend who's an extra large
anyone extra large extra large hey does this top
come and cream cheese stuffed in salmon size
anyone extra large my friend is extra large I really
want to support her extra large she's an extra
she might even be double XL I don't know
time to say we need to get that
fan-shap shorts like um well they are short
short it's also not a thing yeah they act like they're hugging you but by the
end they're just giving you a wedging on purpose okay those are like
perfect hammer friendship shorts yeah yeah exactly um so now they are like
sitting there and like they're getting to the they're gonna have lunch and
time was like did you get a Brazilian botlifika?
She's like, she goes, I'm sorry, she goes,
did you get a, but did you get a Brazilian botlif?
And he's like, yeah, she said so.
And she's like, oh, I thought it's just because she can't wait.
Jesus, like how many different ways can you criticize
one person at a time?
Exactly.
So if it's like, no, I've just been to a Gino,
but booties, like, butteggies.
You know, this thing is you do.
Don't be like, ever see that D-D-D don't be, Biddy.
Oh.
Yeah, it's like totally, it's just totally exercise.
Look at that, look at that.
And then Tamer's such a bitch.
They're just sitting there, she's like,
wait, they're ordering and she's like,
wait, we're missing someone, we're missing,
oh yeah, that's right, Shannon,
our friend who wears extra-liled shirts, our friend. She's not here. Oh my god. I already forgot about her. Is that crazy? Oh my god
I'm just so much can I order the jerk chicken just so I can feel like she's at the table
It's so weird. I guess the moment she stops calling every five minutes. You just forget about her
Wow, but it went this in this is a jerk and a chicken
Chrissy crazy Chrissy.
Just call this the Shannon.
Oh, good. So Gina's like, oh, God, why are we talking about Shannon again?
It's the Shannon show. Okay.
Why do we all feel sorry for Shannon?
She's a guy that a lot of money. She's got business deals.
She's got, quote, unquote, best friends. Okay.
Get 10 pounds off of waking
over it. You're not bedridden. Yeah, well, she's probably in bed at the moment though. So, yeah,
so then, then comes the bomb show. Like, guess what? Shana was pouring herself a glass of
alcohol. I said, I said it, extra large shit, please. Is that how it's that coming in yet?
And then Tamera has to add alone.
And then she's like, yeah, it sounds like self-medicating.
Yeah, so drinking yourself to bed, that's normal.
It's like you all drank yourselves to bed last night.
How are you all going to get wasted and then call one person
a drunk?
OK, you get, oh my god.
I mean, we always talk about Shannon drinking alone,
but no one talks about the fact that I took a bobsled alone
So like we're all going through stuff
And then because I guess
Shannon needs that
Yeah, I'm not sure if I think Shannon
Shannon probably needs a lot of things, but a group of undermining ladies probably not
Yeah, a bunch of people trying to convince everybody
that she's an alcoholic while she's kind of
in the middle of a crazy divorce still.
Shannon needs, what Shannon needs is the two of us,
because we love her.
We love her unconditionally, no matter how kukus she gets.
Yeah, this was one of those episodes
where you guys even made me stick up for Shannon. Shannon was totally and that Mike you guys were right about your
Points you still made me stick up for Shannon. Yeah, terrible you are God, I love that Shannon. I just love this was a great episode. So thank you
This I think I think this will be a classic episode because it was essentially a fight from beginning to end
Yeah, and I had Bob's letting. A lot of Jamaican Bob's letting.
Yeah, but that brings us to the end of another episode of that batch of the batch, batch,
crap, and batch.
Yeah.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
Come see us in Seattle and Nashville in November and December, respectively.
It's the last week to get your kongles, snorkelles, and you can do all of that.
Watch what crap and stuff. and you can do all of that, watch whatcraftens.com. We also did an amazing top chef,
cast bio rip just reds a party thingy
on our Patreon bonus episodes to go get that.
And a week from today, we are doing our Google Hangout
on Patreon.
So if you wanna join us for that video chat party,
go sign up to Patreon, the meantime,
boi, bye everyone.
Love you guys.
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