Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Justice Lip Clip
Episode Date: August 8, 2017The Real Housewives of Orange County take us on a journey through a tweety car unveiling and an old folks home. ALSO ANNOUNCEMENT! Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our ...special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
For all of our bonus episodes and premium content,
become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends
That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends
You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends
We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors me a handsome low-hawk
Kristie Dowerty just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson
We love you girls
Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap
We love to talk about on yeah old bras. I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast and here I am with my
gorgeous hilarious talented handsome and beautifully poured friend Ben Mantelker of the Beside
blog in the Bans of Blinter. Hello, Ben. Oh Ronnie. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm doing so good.
I'm like so excited to be alive.
I'm so excited.
It's Tuesday.
I'm so excited to have an episode of Rock.
Rahos was born to be a new into it.
I know.
I am bursting with excitement.
I'm still sort of like on the high of announcing yesterday
that our three special guests for our LA show in September or
September 2nd are Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenny Poulos, three of the stars
of flipping out. They rarely do live shows if ever. So the fact that we have all
three is so amazing. If Leo Black, Leo Black, Real Hostes of Miami to thank for
putting us all together. So thank you back excited.
So everyone go you have to buy our tickets because now we actually think.
Like these tickets are now going to go I think really flying up the shelf.
So we already there's already tickets are already running out as is.
And now they're going to super run out.
Like they're in some really great cardio.
So go to watch crappens.com.
Ticket links are there.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
I'm so excited.
I'm really thrilled.
But you know what's even more exciting
than all this Jeff Lewis, Jenny Poulos,
and Gage Edward News running?
Well, you're wrong.
There's something even more exciting.
What?
Well, anyone who has gone to watch
for a crap in his website over the past four days or so four or five days may have noticed
That we had a little something up there that said that we have a new live show coming up on September 27th
And today we can finally announce the details of our brand new live show. Are you ready?
I'm so ready do it. So right. Okay. This is very exciting
We've been leaving hints about this on social
media all weekend long. On September 27th, we're not doing one. We're doing two back-to-back
live shows in Chicago at Lincoln Hall. Tickets are going to go on sale this Friday. They'll
go on sale at 10 a.m. Chicago time. So that means 11 a.m. in on the East Coast, 8 a.m. on the West Coast.
There's going to be a 630 show. There's going to be a 9 p.m. show. And I think what we'll just be
covering two different things. So that way, it's not just like sale. So for all of you in the Midwest,
who have been clamoring for a Chicago show. We have listened and we will be heading
there September 27th tickets on sale on Friday. And you know, I'm thrilled because not only
is Chicago one of my favorite musicals and not is not only is Chicago one of the strongholds
of America. Yeah, but Chicago is also where the good wife takes place. And you know what? I love me some good wife, you guys.
It gave me pride.
It made me smarter.
Yeah.
And I love that Juliana Martin Leaves turned out
to be a bigger dick than everybody else in the end.
So you guys, let's all bond together
and enjoy Chicago together.
And of course, Chicago is home to one of my favorite
sitcoms of all time.
Happy endings.
So yeah, we are actually so excited about this.
Yep, we posted a whole bunch of gifts on Friday,
pretty much all weekend and they all were Chicago themed
or they all had something to do with Chicago.
And I was all excited, I was like,
this will be fun dropping little bread crumbs
and then no one noticed.
So then we had to be like, guys,
we have an announcement coming up, we're leaving clues and people still were like huh I was
like gosh dammit I want to be like I want to be like twin peaks or loss for
people looking for details but twin peaks last yeah I didn't get it like I
don't pick I know Ronnie's all I was like wow perfect stranger so that's cute
it's like oh Ben that's nice that you that you're saying that we're like Like I don't pick. I know Ronnie's all I was like wow perfect strangers. That's cute
It's like oh Ben. That's nice that you that you're saying that we're like Athens-Eighted Jones and Renee's Eliger and Chicago Yeah, cuz I love that musical so I saw those tweets and I was like wow Ben it must be coffee cracked out today
He's just like tweeting and doing so much social and I was like I love it. I'm down
And I thought I was being later and I was like I'm so stupid. I thought I was no I was I was like, I love it. I'm down. And they just plain later. And I was like, I'm so stupid.
I thought I was, no, I was, I was being ridiculous,
because I thought I was being so clever and I was posting like Michael Jordan doing a slam dunk
and all this stuff. And I realized I probably was high on coffee.
But it takes no, I'm not saying you are.
It's just that it takes a clever person to realize that you're being clever and I'm not clever.
I was just like, Ben's having so much fun on Twitter today.
But I'm also, this is also not a podcast
where we have hidden clues everywhere.
So I don't think I'm, it's not that people
weren't smart enough to pick up on it.
People just don't think to look for clues
when we talk about stuff.
So it was just like, oh cool, another gift, you know.
We're the kind of family. We're the kind of parents who will hide Easter eggs and then forget where we hid them.
Exactly. Exactly. Or people won't even realize there is an Easter egg hunt a foot.
They're like, why hasn't anyone looked for the Easter eggs? Because no one knows that Easter eggs.
Because we're Jewish and it should be passed over.
Yeah, the house will be all smelly. We're like, what is that smell?
What does it smell like a dead person?
Where are we getting rats?
It's like no one found that Easter egg,
the couch cushions.
So this is just an elaborate way of saying,
yes, we are coming to Chicago September 27th.
So don't miss out on your tickets.
You know, New York sold out in half a day.
We anticipate that Chicago will sell out
Probably in the same amount of time. So those tickets go on to participate. We mean hope and pray. Hope and pray
Hope and pray guys
Hope and pray. I'm so excited to go out there and do I'm loving these live shows
Let's just look a million more. Let's do it. Tell us where you want us to come. We will be there, okay?
Yeah, we would love to
keep booking more. We're looking into places like DC and San Francisco and all that. We just have to
find the venues, you know. Yeah, we're doing this shit anyway. We might as well be doing it with you
guys. Yeah. And it's fun that way. Yeah, we have so much. So let's talk about today's show.
So let's talk about today's show.
It doesn't take place real housewives of Chicago.
No, not yet.
No.
Although, uh, everyone's having.
Yeah, real houses are Orange County, um, which opens up almost with an ode to the Chicago Cubs.
It's Vicky playing baseball with little baby Troy and she throws a ball right in his face.
baseball. Oh, yeah. Vicky playing baseball with a little baby Troy and she throws a ball right in his face. Baseball! Baseball!
Oh yeah!
She's like, okay, you ready?
Here comes the ball and just get some right in the nose.
How they learned to be a bad.
Okay.
Man, have you noticed that Vicky has a muppet voice this year?
I've added it a little bit into my Vicky voice.
But there's something about a voice this year.
It's like up here now.
Have you noticed something like that?
You will never unhear it after you heard me say it.
I'm gonna have to listen to for it.
It's sort of like when we notice that Wes's face
looks like Lisa Vanderpump on blow deck Mediterranean.
And once you see it, you can't go back.
Exactly, it's like that because what've I heard it it like she used to do it when she was yeah my
she's got my back but now she's kind of talking like that and I don't know if she's just like
friendly destroyed all of her dates or cavities but still like go up into that throaty
well it makes sense she does have like the physical movements of say a rulf the dog or a fosy bear
you know that hergy jerky left to right thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah She does have the physical movements of, say, a rulf, the dog or a fosy bear.
You know, that hergy jerky left to right thing.
Yeah, it's also like, yeah, it's mad.
Yes, yes.
It's like they're stiff because there's an arm up their ass, but their ears will still
like move.
Is there being moved back and forward back and forth?
And then you're staring at her hands to see where the little poles are.
Yes, exactly.
You're like, who's got their hand up, Vicki this season?
And when she walks from like across a yard, it's like hermit that up and down walk that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thing. Yeah. Yeah, like she's just
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like when the arm is moving up and down,
and her hair is moving a little bit. You never fully see her legs unless she's sitting down.
When she lasts, it's just that wide head all the way back to the throat open gaping mouth.
Thing.
She's always trying to steal baseball diamonds from London.
Don't hit that now.
So I do the baseball diamond at toy.
You know, there's always speculation on these shows like
whose husband is gay? Like there
has been so gay. You know,
everybody likes to comment on
whose husband is gay. I don't
know if Lydia's husband is gay.
I don't know if Lydia's kids
will be gay one day in the
future. I don't know that one
of Lydia's kids is a real house
was a Beverly Hills season one
or two fan because he is drunk
impacting himself in a suitcase like Taylor Armstrong.
Yes, but he does it with so much more flair.
Yes, and it was season two and he wasn't drunk and he didn't sit in there and cry.
And Kim didn't try and fit some toothpaste into him thinking that he was, you know, like
the, the bathing.
What do you call this?
But Adrian Maloof did appear out of nowhere and said, you're having a nervous breakdown.
They're like, who is this lady? Get out of here.
This has got to stop.
I think you have an a nervous breakdown.
Yeah, he, uh, the little kid climbed into the luggage, which was cute.
And, uh, and then, um, at Log Last, we got to see something
that we've been waiting for for perhaps eight years,
which is the animal kingdom turning against Tamra.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ugh.
Because Tamra walks into a restaurant
and there's like a giant macaque parrot out there
that goes, old, old bitch, old bitch.
This was so good.
And she just stops on the steps and she just looks at it
She just did she say oh, bitch
And Stan sir just looking at it for a really long time because mother fuck our back
You know she was actively angry. She was not being funny for camera. She said some bitch parrot. Just called me all bitch
What do you think the parrot would have said to Shannon Bedouard?
Damn it.
C-C-C-C-C-Don't need a 40 pounds heavier. C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. right? No, no, no, you're right. Oh, yeah, there was Bridget. And Nanny, right? She goes, Hey, Tamra, this is my baby, and this is Nanny.
This is my cousin, Nanny, Bridget. Another baby. I don't even think she said her name. I think she
was like, this is Nanny. And it was a good, my, it's callback because we just saw two giant legs
with stripe socks.
And then suddenly Megan went into a fancy sequence where she was in a jungle.
But skater and scooter.
That's right.
I'll take it to muppet babies.
And yes, you know, the kitchen rats were dancing around on pieces of toast on the grill.
That's like that.
Baby Ralph was on a little toy piano. That's my Megan.
That's my impersonation of Megan King Edmond singing Muppet Babies at karaoke.
My baby.
Daddy.
Why is she always coming here? baby
Why she always come in here. I just realized that my baby Troy and and Megan Fate voices are exactly the same baseball
Nanny baseball
Nanny
I imagine Megan King Edmunds ruins all of them up at baby's adventures. They're like
Oh, look skater. We have to go into the jungle guys. It's not a real jungle. They're like, oh, look, Skeeter, we have to go into the jungle.
Guys, it's not a real jungle. We're just in a room. And then it comes back to reality.
Like, oh, guys, we're in the nursery. Oh, thanks. Like credits roll.
Guys, someone has to like give animal a baby shot. He's like, weird.
I'm not sick. She gets animal fixed. Animals like hello
everyone. Like what happened to
animal? Guys, I got him fixed.
I'm animal. Please, and thank
you, ma'am. It's like, oh, this
just sex. Like Megan, why did you
fix animal? Because he's out of
control.
He needs just to admit what he does.
I know play drums right.
I never played drums right.
I bang on things.
I'm sorry.
I really thought that by fixing animal, he would hang around a lot more,
but he's still traveling just as much
I like that Megan is at least she's aware of everything going on around her But she's also aware of what's going on at her own home, you know like I did trying I did her that was recess
Sorry, I did try and trick trick Jim into you know staying home more and having a baby, but it didn't work
to, uh, you know, staying home more and having a baby, but it didn't work.
It still hates me.
So speaking of muppets, in lock Shannon into the restaurant, after she's probably been harassed by the parrot, obviously, David, David, there's a
pilot out there who's saying, messy things to me.
What do you have?
David, the parrot said that was just terrible things to be.
David,
Tamara, I'm in a good place too.
I just wanted to let you know that this parodot side is calling you old.
Here lies Shannem-Bador killed by the mockery of a parrot.
The parrot said I should eat more.
So I thru a plate at it.
So Megan's like, guys, I'm so honest.
I have to be honest, I'm so honest.
I have to be honest.
I'm so glad to be here with you.
Like, I was out of life.
How do people do this?
This is hard.
And Tim was like, um, can she have a bab-a-batt?
She had like a bab-a-batt.
She fell out on the table.
Did you poop?
Oh god.
And then Shannon is like looking at the baby. and she's like, oh, she's so
precious and mangoes it's genetic.
It was keeping her in that trash can and the freezer for so long that did it.
It's like marinated.
And Shannon also knows how to please a baby so well because I feel like people who know how to please babies like me
Really just want to be pleased in a very simple way. We just want to be understood in the same way which is hi
How are you you're so cute? You're so sweet and then walk away. Yeah, that's basically what people like us need
30 to 40 negative burp ups.
Well, how did you make the baby smile? She's never smiled at me one time.
Channs like, well, I'm just a little extra roly pony, I guess.
So they're all got, they're all gathering and she, Shannon takes a seat and
she's like, seriously, someone left a cocktail menu open for me.
Gosh, come on.
Okay, I'll take a pinnacle out of margarita
with a scoop of ice cream.
It's like 900 calories, that's crazy.
Okay, tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow.
I don't have a mudslide on top of that.
I like a drink that explains my physical appearance,
just a big mudslide.
Like Shannon, stop being so hard on yourself.
In a season where Shannon is wearing the little orphan antedress in the opening, it's
perfect for her just to keep eating, well complaining about being fat.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll die tomorrow.
You're only a day away.
To be fair, that is the story of Ben Mandelgur.
You know, I have everybody on the diet ever.
Exactly.
So we get it, Shannon, we get it and we support your month slide
I support your fucking pinnacle out of mud slide with the side of your life stand and adore, okay?
Exactly and Tamra's like alcohol is the worst
When you're trying to lose weight. I'm like camera. That's only true for skinny people
Okay, if you get truly Overweight people who need to lose weight in avocado and
can you kill us?
A French for Hank can you kill us at the beginning stages.
We just need to stop eating dominoes at two in the morning.
Okay. Yeah.
We'll move on to tequila when we need to cut out those final calories.
Yeah.
We're going to wait up to tequila.
Yes.
A watch board wasn't built in a day.
So Shannon is now doing her spiel
about well I found out that here lies Shannon but or here killed by 40% body fat which is now what I
carry along with me David. David. I don't know where I got this weight. I mean I'm so happy.
What's David? So happy. But Vicki Gomez doesn't trust me out. I love how Shannon puts everything.
Megan's like yeah so I'm a. What's been going on with you?
Well, I've gained 40 pounds.
And it's because I went through a moment of misery
caused by Vicki Gumbelcent.
It's like this whole monologue.
And they get to the end.
She's like, and it ends with Vicki Gumbelcent ruining my life.
And Megan goes, come on.
I mean, what Vicki did was bad,
but it's not 40 pounds bad.
Clearly. Clearly, I'm going to be a little bit more my life. And Megan goes, come on. I mean, what Vicki did was bad, but it's not 40 pounds bad.
Clearly, clearly she has something going on. Maybe to do with dot, dot, dot her marriage.
Like, thank God, Megan came back and she came back looking for hashtag justice. Yes.
Even her baby is wearing a just a hashtag justice headband. The baby has printouts from like the Mayo clinic.
We've looked into it and
It's not from Vicki. It's from David. Hey guys. I've been keeping a trapper keeper full of the baby's medical history. That's how it's done.
So Megan
Announces that she's gonna have a sip and see and she'll be inviting Vicki to it.
So, you know, the women are already not happy bad as the term is like, okay, batch.
I'll go for you, thought, and then Megan's like, I hope you'll go for Aspen.
Oh, God.
This one.
I hope you'll go for Aspen and the love of candles.
Made by Jim in the kitchen. I hope you'll go for Aspin and the love of candles
Made by Jim in the kitchen
Oh my god. Did you see girls strip by the way because there's a very funny candle bitten that and I'm not so long gonna say no But everybody is loving that movie. I've got to go see it's actually awesome super hilarious
So she's like, okay, well, I hope you'd come for Aspin and then they both just look at her like
She's like you'd come for a spin? And then they both just look at her like, ah, ah. Yeah.
She's like, you guys, come on.
They're like, wow, I didn't do anything.
Gosh.
She goes, she goes, geez, it's not like
Vicki can harm my baby.
And then they just look at her like,
going somewhere in that power.
It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh baby got a baby. Well, if
you can't harm your baby, then why is
it chubby? They shouldn't call it
baby fat. They should call it
licky did this to me fat. Just a
said band. I love the baby's
justice headband. It's like
every scene. Megan has an obsession with that shit. Yeah, Megan has a very unique fashion sense. That's how long I'm gonna say headbands
I feel like she has like a lot of little ties on her thing. Yeah, what did you say in
Bits dance
That's like when you see two Tathas are talking in in
Goblety Goop does what that was.
That little twins movie where they put that jam with the
twins nursery.
And my people that that's pretty much the same as Megan
can you had been talking about headbands with try about
espals.
So Lydia goes on vacation with her husband.
Don't worry that we're only on the third scene because this one was extremely boring.
I don't think it'll take that long.
Roddy, you're live.
We're only on the second scene.
So yeah, so they're going to, they're going to be going to Hawaii.
So Lydia's like, uh, wow, lady, the bus has stopped. Okay. Hello! Hello! Hello!
Like wow lady, the bus has stopped okay?
Yeah, they're in Hawaii and they're like,
they're doing that standing surfing thing,
whatever you call that,
paddle surfing sporting, whatever.
And it is like, look at the fish!
Look at the fish!
Look at the fish!
I'm like, look at the goddamn fish!
Someone, someone look at the fish! Guys, we really need to talk like look at the goddamn fish someone someone look at the fish
Guys, we really need to talk. Okay, mom Will you take the youngest one away so we could have an important talk with our older son
She's like, I'm gonna see how long he can hold his head under the water
So she goes off like to drown the baby and then
Lydia tells us or Lydia tells the older kids you we remember, we heard you guys talking about kissing
lady, lady sexy time or something.
What did you say?
It was called sexy lady.
And they have a flashback of, I guess,
when Maverick had said sexy lady and they're like,
what does Maverick, what does sexy lady mean?
And he goes, this is the flashback.
He goes, kissing a lady when you're naked. And as he says that, the little toddler
next to him goes, hey!
Like, oh!
Hey!
He went there!
He went there!
The toddler's like, oh, shit!
Yeah!
Yeah!
He said it!
Laysa Malajan mom!
It was actually an amazing little moment right there.
Not that kid.
He raised his hand up. He's like, hey! Hey! It was actually an amazing little moment right there. Not the kid.
He raised his hand up.
He's like, hey, hey.
Lydia tells us as a Christian, it's up to me to give him sex.
I don't trust me.
So many of us have been totally traumatized by Christian sex.
How about we don't be that?
Okay.
She's like, all right, learn, let's look at the fish.
Now, when one fish meets another fish and falls in love
with that fish before they get married,
then the humo humo nukakuapua fish says,
do you wanna make another little humo humo nukakuapua fish?
That's the state fish of Hawaii, everyone.
I learned that when I went to Hawaii once.
He's ingrained in me.
Oh, oh my God.
So Lydia's, Lydia's still like, please, Ben,
stop having us, stop making us have negative ticket sales.
No, I was actually thinking about how smart you are
that you know that fish.
I was like, I wish I could make a joke about that,
but I make no big because when I went,
my friend, like every hour on the hour said,
hey, Ben remind me, he's like, she was quizzing me,
nonstop.
What's the state fish of wine?
I was like, I don't know, but after five days,
I was like,
you can you can you can you can you can you can you can you
can you can you can you can you can you can you
can you can you can you can you can you can you can you well for anybody that doesn't know that fish whatever. It's a lot of syllables. It's a new canoe, a new coco, a poo.
Well, for anybody that doesn't know that fish or hasn't had
Christian sex said, let's explain what it is.
Yeah.
As a Christian.
Jesus loves sex.
Like he made it.
And I just think it's great.
Well, maybe he was a virgin, maybe.
So maybe he hadn't had sex.
I roll it back.
Roll it back.
So she basically forces dog topic conversation he's like hey buddy so you know how certain things are public like our lives
on reality TV and certain things are private like when you go to the bathroom so sex something
you do in private. I like the compared sex to pooping.
Well, it's sort of similar. I know, especially when people are like,
is her husband gay?
I think it depends on what sort of sex you're having too.
Yeah.
So yeah, so they're having this awkward conversation
in Africa's like, can you just get to the point please?
Oh, that's also like sex sometimes too.
He's like the important thing is that we met and then fell in love and waited to have sex until we were married. Like, these kids have the internet. They know what sex is, okay. He's like,
he just wants to go swimming. Please, he's like, can dad, I don't really know what this conversation
is about, but I know I should feel embarrassed. So can we just can we just move on? Yeah, I love that the kid did say that because is there any more to it or do you just move on with it?
You know, I feel like Ronnie we should have a talk about something actually maybe talk about something with with our audience
Oh, no you guys as a Christian
It's important that we have this talk with you
Yeah, we need to have this talk because there's certain things that you do in public
Like talk about real housewives, but there's certain things you might want to do in private like
Cook yourself dinner. Right. Sometimes in public you'll go to a grocery store
Yeah, private you'll call Hello
Fresh. You don't have to leave your goddamn house ever. For any of your friends. We don't
really call Hello Fresh. You just more order Hello Fresh. And what's good is that you
can make your own meal in the privacy of your own home and it turns out deliciously.
Yeah, it's amazing. Hello Fresh is the meal kit delivery service. It makes cooking
fun. Easy and convenient. Here's life Shannon Bedward, bed from happiness at not having to go to the
grocery store. Now those nosy parrots don't have to look at you and shame you for what you're
reading at the quiet woman. You can just stay in the comfort of your own home and unpack a box
of full of ingredients that have been sourced by professionals and you can make your own
dinner and know what has to know how
much sugar is in the glaze.
Hello Frash Crate's new delicious recipes
with step by step instructions designed
to take around 30 minutes for everyone
from novices to seasoned home cooks
short on time like that box gets to
door and I stare that for a minute and I say did you call me old bat? to season to home cooks short on time. Like that box gets too door
and I stare at it for a minute
and I say,
did you call me old bat?
Yeah, bat.
Our recipes will make you feel unstoppable,
bat. It's like you'll have your own personal Mia
encouraging you along,
but instead of Mia,
it's a box for living ingredients.
And your taste buds?
Well, thank you, bat.
I have been fired from this show.
So I will not be in this ad, but I will say,
I am so embarrassed to leave my house now,
the Dubro Mallhouse, that I have hello fresh delivered
to my doors so my cooks can make my children something decent
while I'm recovering with my germal eyes in bed.
children something decent while I'm recovering with my durable eyes in bed. $10 a meal. Show your love by having food already prepped for you. Go to HelloFresh.com and use the promo code Crapins30.
That's HelloFresh.com use promo code Crapins30.
And if you use that promo code, you'll get $30 off your first week of HelloFresh.
That means you'll have more money to spend to make David happy with you again.
We love you, HelloFresh. Yeah, HelloFresh is good. Go do it guys. It's super fun. Hello
brushes. It's not just an amazing mailbox. It's a way of life batch. Yeah, batch. So then
speaking of Peggy, we cut to Peggy's house
where Coco has walked in the front door, dribbling a ball
and Peggy is like, Coco, we don't play ball in house.
I'm like, I love that.
This is Peggy's arc,
is making her son stop playing ball in the house.
Like the season finale, the Coco's gonna finally say,
Mom, I just realized, I don't need to play ball in the house
She's like arms so proud. I
Know every episode no
No
No play ball in house
So because like hey So, how's Daddy? Daddy's home, what's going on?
It's Daddy.
It's Daddy.
And see, Vag is making dinner and she goes,
let me tell you about Armenian cooking.
It's called cooking with love.
No, she doesn't even say that.
Sorry, but she goes, let me tell you something about Armenian cooking. It's called love. No, she doesn't even say that. Sorry, but she goes, let me tell you something about Armenian cooking.
It's called love.
That's what I wrote and I thought
that sentence doesn't make sense.
I really need to work on actually
getting the full sentences out.
But she didn't say, yeah,
because there's something different to say
it's called cooking with love.
She says, it's called love.
Like, she dropped the mic right there.
So that's what you call an ominia burn.
Like the only culture ever.
I like when everybody says that.
In my culture, we cook with love.
It's like, oh, yes.
Like, yes.
Americans whose mother cooked with hate.
Yeah.
What are you saying?
My grandma boiled a roast every week out of hatred now.
Yeah.
I mean, I love the cooking I grew up with, but it wasn't cooked love.
It's really, it's just a shame.
Mine wasn't either, actually.
Mine was like microwaved with resentment.
No, I was just kidding.
Mine was, I guess we're coming over.
But I just love that people, like you said, I like that people always declare
that as if it's some novelty.
I mean, I was just watching the great British Bake-Off
and this lady was like,
the key is that when I cook, I always cook with a little bit of love.
So even though I leave here today, I'm happy
because you all got a bit of my love.
Oh my God, okay, great, there's love in the food, got it.
My mom is just an honest chef.
She's like, fuck love, okay?
I cook with the hope that my son will eventually lose weight. That's why I cook.
The key to Armenian cooking is that I cook
with the hope that Coco stops playing ball.
The key to ronda cooking is, you know,
stop eating little debies and put the Susperius
in your fucking mouth,
or you're not coming out of your room till tomorrow.
What the Susperius is your fucking mouth?
That is love. She's cooks with love.
Yeah, no, I just, I love that Peggy burn.
She's like, it's called love.
But then she goes, yes, proud meals from mom is our culture.
I want to cook.
Yeah.
So they were also doing the family sitting around and Peggy's daughter. I think this one is Geo and she gets into fashion, fashion school in New York, which is an inventory.
Yeah. Well, first she gets, look, I got in and everyone's in, you got in, you got in.
I'm so excited.
She was so not excited.
She was looking at her like, fuck you, you little nerd.
Look at you.
You know how hard I work to get a rich husband.
And she goes, this is a laboratory of institute of advertising.
I'm like, wait, does this take place in the bathroom?
Because I'm pretty sure she decided it takes place in the lavatory.
I'm so excited that you now are on the first steps towards a future in a livelihood and
a career.
Meanwhile, I'm getting Lamborghini.
The first woman in our family to poop.
I don't want to, you know, overshadow your daughter, but I'm getting a whenever kind of a
beginning soul.
Sort of a big deal.
The kid gets in the college, okay.
And everyone's like, wow, good for you.
And then Tika's like, okay, family time now this weekend. We're busy. Okay, it's gonna be family time cuz they're unveiling the brand new
Lamborghini blah blah blah and then they show a clip of Peggy flipping through the the catalog at the dealer and she goes I want yellow
And he's like, oh, it doesn't come in that. I want yellow
I want Lamborghini that look like Bumblebee. I like this former.
I like this Tweety Bird.
Always being chased by stupid cat.
Oh, stupid cat.
Coco, like Paul in the house.
Coco.
So, I custom designed it. Coco, they ball in the house. Coco. So she's like, oh, I custom designed it.
And then everyone's like, ma, look at you.
You custom designed an Lamborghini.
This is cost for celebration.
And it's like, you're a great mom.
And the poor smart kids sitting there like, what the fuck do I have to do?
I can't, I can't even have one moment of pride in this family without this bit of staging it.
The Lamborghini.
Like good news everyone we just found out Lamborghini also get in college.
Wow Lamborghini.
Do anything you can't do.
Good work mom.
You really made a great Lamborghini.
Oh announcement. This Lamborghini unveiling will happen not in a lavatory.
You guys, I didn't want to say nothing, but this dinner was cooked by the new Lamborghini.
Wow, I'm wondering why I was saying so good. Don't you think it tastes good, Gio?
She's like, so sticking out. Lamborghini can play ball in house.
It's like ring, ring, ring, ring.
You can answer your phone.
Ring, ring, answer.
It's me, a Shannon Channing be door.
Ring, ring, I start charities, Peggy.
Ring.
Who's this?
So Peggy calls up Shannon,
because she wants to invite Shannon to the Lamborghini event.
And so she's Peggy Kall Shannon,
Shannon answers by going like this.
Hi, oh, you know what's so funny?
I'm with Megan.
She's in the bathroom right now.
What?
She doesn't even know Megan.
Peggy hasn't met Megan, right?
I just like to get on sort of information.
She just starts going on this monologue.
Well, I wanted to tell you that the other day
at the quiet woman,
I am sorry, I've let Vicki Gumbelson's hatred
and Kelly Dodd's ignorance ruined our meal.
And when I threw that plate, it was just because I was villainized
from the time I arrived on this television show
by someone who doesn't even understand.
It's like, well, she doesn't know she's on speaker
and the kids are like whoa
This is like you to phone like oh my god. I know and she's like I'm sorry
It's just that Vicky gommelson is caused so much stress and I've been forced to saying how much I would just love Vicky gommelson's
Hey, I'm a platter and I saw a dish and
Something took over me just threw it cuz I thought I saw Vicky's head out of plate and I couldn't out myself and it's really hard fossil. I apologize for being reactive.
Um, I wanted to invite you to unveiling of my new car that costs more than all of your children combined.
Oh, I thought you were going to say the unveiling of my tombstone, which is where I lied because I was killed by Vicki Gumbelson and David and the
power of the restaurant. Oh god. Say hi to Shannon. They're like, hi. Uh, and she's like, oh, I'm on
speaker. Well, you know, thanks, but if Vicki's there and Kelly Dodd is there, I must decline.
Because Vicki is a woman who's spread nasty rumors about my marriage. Vicki's like, I mean, Peggy's like, no, no, no, don't say, don't say.
Please, you don't need to say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't say.
It's water under the rug.
What under the rug?
And Janet just keeps going and the family's cringing.
Yeah.
Like around the paper table.
And Peggy tells us, this is an A to B
conversation so I can get out of it. Yes we are hanging up. No you're just
gonna hang up now. Yes. Goodbye, Cheylin. Oh, while the entire family is hanging
up on me, not just you. Hey, anyone voting to listen to the entire story any of the kids and lady desk in the last house. No respect!
Is the operator there? Operator? I have something to say operator. Huh? Operator, well, you'll never
believe what this petty woman know. Hello? Lily Tomlin? No. Movie phone? Hello? All right, I
press three. Please tell me that is Vicki Gumbelson, his role in Channingie Doris Life, Renault reason at all.
Now, can you tell me when Dunkirk is playing, no?
David, Dunkirk?
So next up, Kelly.
We should mention that when Peggy hung up the entire film
and went, oh my God.
They all put their head in their hands.
It was like a collective family, you know, the head in hands moment.
Yes.
It was so funny.
So people, you know, Kelly is a blithering asshole, okay?
Like no one's gonna deny that on this show, but God damn, she's a funny one.
She certainly is.
She told her mom she wants her to get a hobby last week.
And the mom was like, no, I just want to lay around.
What's wrong with that?
What if I just watch house lunch or soul date long?
I'm watching TV. I'm not grabbing a bit. I'm not hurting nobody. I call my wig.
So Kelly's like, nope, I'm taking to a senior center. So she drags Bobby along this
place. Bobby looks so scared. She looks like the one mirror cat who left the matter to join
a new one. And it's like, I don't like
this matter. Can I just have my own
private matter?
Like just let me take a nap, okay?
What is wrong with that? And then the
lady who's showing them around is
like, oh, well, here's the, here's
the land. There's the apartment.
Everyone has their own little plot
and Kelly goes like a cemetery.
Sorry.
The lady was not amused. And I love it. You know, I love the little things that producers do. They start playing this ridiculous music while they're going on the tour. It sounded like Mario Cart Rainbow Road. It's like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da rainbow brood really did Kelly goes look just get her in here okay I just
needed to get laid I mean even if she dates a girl I don't care so they sit
down you know with an ear shot of this like senior ping pong moment which I'm
sure Vita was very jealous that she could not be a part of and Kelly and Bob
you just start to pick her about you know know, she's like, Mom, you want to fuck one of those guys.
It's like Kelly, they're like 80. Leave your mom alone.
Yeah. And so basically, Kelly is like, she's just sitting around, she's doing
nothing. I want to be young. And Bob is saying, like, oh, yo, you know,
best, you know, best, you're always telling me what to do. And I said, no, I'm not
telling you what to do. It's just that like, it's funny because I'm the parent and you're the child now. She's like, I'm the parent and you're the child. No, best, you know, best rose, tell me what to do. And I said, no, I'm not telling you what to do. It's just like, it's funny because I'm the parent
and you're the child now.
You're like, I'm the parent and you're the child.
No, mom, dad, and then they just start
fighting right from this lady.
But then you start seeing, like, we've always
kind of seen Bobby's ish, but you really,
it's really highlighted here.
Kelly is totally gaslighting her.
Like, who wouldn't be a nutty drunk if you praised Kelly?
But Kelly is like, you tell me what to do.
And she goes, I do not, I do not, I do not, I do not.
I do not.
She tells me what to do.
She tells I do not just for me.
And Kelly just going, yes, you do.
Yes, you do.
And it's just back and forth for five minutes.
I do not, yes, you do.
I do not.
Yes, you do.
I don't know.
It was making me laugh so hard.
And the lady goes, now, look, checking in here,
that's the adult's choice
And she has no because she's so old she's turning into a baby again
You know how that happens like you're a baby and you're down the people clean up your shit and you're barfing
You're drooling. You don't know what she's like that now. It's like it's like Benjamin button
You know all the way to the end and then the sequel where it goes from the middle to the end again
You know what I mean?
Listen everyone loves my decisions decisions I make for people.
It's like my daughter. She really wants to go to theater camp
and I forced her to do tennis instead and she's so happy.
So then Kelly starts to cry.
She's like, it's sad. It's sad for me.
It's sad.
I have to for it out because Kelly is such an asshole.
The lady goes, well, what did you do, hun, before you retired?
And she's like, I wasn't the Arnold.
She doesn't want me to just relax.
She says, you need to join a class or something, mom.
She goes, stop, Kelly, stop.
Just stop.
And the Kelly goes, look, you see?
Look what I have to deal with.
She's pathetic.
Look at her.
She doesn't even know what she's saying.
She gets like, shut up, Kelly. She's just blabbering.
She's blabbering now.
Is there a bad man in here?
She's a mathematician or something.
I've seen it happen before.
Even the power that side that restaurant knows she's in trouble.
Even the power.
Bob, you know your name.
She doesn't.
I'm telling you.
Everything Kelly is like, by the way way I want to go to pancake day
And Bob is like oh no she won't even eat a pancake I
Pancakes she won't even eat one I'll go to pancake day
No, you won't mom. Yes, I I'm gonna go you know what? I'm gonna join this senior center right now
I'm gonna join that pancake day. I need a pancake
senior center right now I'm gonna join that pancake day. You need a pancake.
I'll eat a pancake.
It's like okay.
This lady who's watching is just like I don't know if it was worth it to have these cameras
come in here today.
Yeah.
This lady's like at least the people in here are losing their minds you know I'm accident.
You two are too far gone to fix.
And then the producers finish off the scene by giving us an extended montage of the
old men playing ping pong.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellas-I.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It's no-bought into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya
It's like Ivan Lendle and John McEnroe
She won't even need a pancake. I'll you the pancake. I'm like wait a make your case
But it's kind of funny because in the end it almost made it seem like Bobby was gonna join despite
Kelly like all right, you know what?
I'm making a decision around here and I'm gonna to come just to show that Ali, the pancake,
and she won't.
Well, once you realize is that once you're in the home, people do leave you alone to just
watch TV.
I think she'll be so actually go.
I think she thinks that an old folks home they're going to make her do something.
They don't make you.
If you don't want to play Bingo, you can stay in your own damn room.
And by the way, it looked awesome.
I want to go there.
It wasn't, it's not even an old age home.
It's just a senior center.
It's just a place you just go and hang out during the day.
Oh, I thought it was, well then why did they have their own
plats?
I think that you move in there.
No, because they had a community garden.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
I don't know.
I could be wrong.
So many different things to pay for when you age.
They are, they're just so many layers to the senior center center and you have to forgive me if I just can't fully process all of them.
So let's go over to Vicki.
She's her office.
Senior center. She's with Michael.
Yeah.
Well, they're unpacking at the new place now.
Oh, they're at the new place.
She's like, look at me.
A packy with my set.
This is what a Strugg World bitbid dance was just texted the road.
But we're back together.
These pictures broke with, oh god, I work so hard for this.
I work so hard for this glass plaque.
Look at that when it's broken.
You know, that's the one I paid for was presented
with in my backyard.
And then they give a flashback of Vicky falling over after she gets her award and then
Jeanne going, oh, there's a tip there.
Oh, maybe Vicky wouldn't have been so upset about her plaques if it had been insured.
Exactly.
Package sure it's.
That's why I started my new business, Package sure it's.
Right, I just went to write out the how from
cool to sack insurance.
I'm not sure if I trust an
insurance agency that doesn't
even know how to pack up their
own awards.
Or a lady who sells it that
names cancer insurance
CAC. Well, there's that too.
So the insurance not going to
work forever.
So Vicki is talking to Michael
though who's like the senior vice president
of this firm, amazingly.
And because she wants the firm to be his,
so I get that, that he's her legacy.
And it's actually probably for the best
because he seems to be the most responsible person
there at the moment.
And talking about Michael,
Michael has a new, has a girlfriend
who he's been dating for the past year.
And so she's giving him a talk about safe sex and doesn't want him to have any babies crawling around and says
Make sure you have drugs inside of her. Yeah, exactly. I don't think you're a lot of the lecture anybody on anything sexual
But really just anything anything of her. Yeah, she's like well, you gotta be careful with the safe sex because
It's my hard work. It's going to make you future
Mage so if you get married and you know, you have to have a prenup, you know, we had a prenup and
We had a prenup mailed to you just the case because you know after 30 years of being working hard and earning these broken plaques
I've been fucked over you know the last guy dated one that he was about $100,000 worth of
teeth. And then she starts lecturing about the pull out method. She's like, because you
know, you know, when it's spur meets an egg, it's like, Ningo, baby born. So, you know, like
just and just remember the pull out method doesn't work. You know, a sneaker might come
out and then all of a sudden, it's like, where's the egg? Where's the egg? I was like,
what sort of sexual practices are you discussing? The sneaker?
Now, I don't know what people have told you, but you can't get pregnant through your throat.
Okay. Pull it out.
You got to be careful. You get onto a polka ball and then next thing you know, you're pregnant.
Look at Briata. She just tripped and fell over it up in an arby bar.
She got pregnant with a little baby abusive guy.
You go to the circus and you try to juggle some balls and next thing you know, five children.
I like that she keeps like, pre-dub. Pre-dub.
I'm napping everything. I'm napping it all.
He's like, I know how to use protection, mom.
She's like, okay, well, thanks for having to the subpacking seed.
I think I work here. It's dead 30 years, 30 years. I'm going back to Lake Havasu. Kack.
Kack.
So, so now we have making tea because she's just gone to the old folks home.
So she's like, you know, a tea sounds good.
And then she walks out.
It's a method.
Yeah.
To pose on her balcony over sunset to remind her, I'm winning.
Okay, I'm rich.
I live right on the beach.
It's sunset.
I've got tea.
I'm about to get my mother shipped away okay I'm rich I live right on the beach
it's sunset I've got tea I'm about to get my mother shipped away Shannon cannot get to me right now okay
I'll try I'll call Shannon yeah well so she well she's tell you is trying to earn her place back with
this cast because she doesn't want to be isolated in filming I imagine so later after last week's
bombshell revelation that Tamara is the real problem here. She realizes now that if she
wants to be good with Shannon, that she has to be good with Tamara first. And
once she's good with Tamara, then she can work on Shannon and Tamara will
help her. So she calls up Tamara and invites her to coffee the next day. And
they're basically like, Batch, I don't want to fight anymore Batch. I don't want to fight.
I'm like Tina Turner. I don't want to fight it more Batch. I don't want to fight. I'm like Tina Turner. I don't want to fight it more Batch.
I don't want to be friends with everyone.
Then she tells us, yeah,
that I have the idea to call Tamra to go through her
to get Shannon because I'm going to out pop up that
pop up master.
You're so dumb.
It's really perfect on an episode about Muppets, right?
I'm off topic. It's really perfect on an episode about Muppets, right? Bob!
By the way, off topic, I really like the fact that Tamara has persimmons in her kitchen.
I like that.
Makes me respect her more.
I feel like those are like 20-year-olds old and they're plastic and they were from Ross.
And she probably thought they were apples.
Batch, these apples are strange.
I know. She's got a lot of fruit in there for someone who probably doesn't eat fruit.
I feel like she works out too much.
That sugar batch.
I like the way it looks batch.
So healthy that an orange is equal to a snickers bar.
Like you've gone too far people.
I know.
So after Tamara speaks with Kelly about doing copy, Tamara of course calls up Shannon and I just I don't even know why
Shannon doing the simplest things makes me laugh because Shannon answers the phone going hey
She's just like
Clearly in the middle of an argument with David and totally overcomensating Oh, hi! Hi! Hey! Who is this? Just kidding!
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, gee!
David!
It's you again!
Ha!
I was just on a steric climber being admired by my husband.
Ha!
Um, I just got back and I wasn't bothered at all by a parrot that said nothing to me.
Ha!
I'm fine. Wasn't she a parrot? Wasn't it all? You're talking like one. What?
Uh-huh. Talking like one.
And this is like Kelly's like, Kelly's like, well, my mom told me to
get you cameras, her idea. And then the mom goes, Tamer, the
easiest one to talk to. And then we get a montage of Tamer defending the little person.
And she's like, listen, bat, shimmy to me, a bat, shimmy.
She always cheeses after just dragging everybody through the mud
that she'll say what nice thing about them.
So I can keep filming before she tries to ruin them again.
It was the best montage ever.
Yeah, it's true.
So Tamer's talking to Shannon and says, well, Kelly,
it's like, Kelly wants to go to a coffee.
It's sort of weird.
And then, and she has like, because Tamer keeps saying,
it's funny because I liked her until things got weird.
And she has like, well, things got weird because she
attacked your daughter in Ireland.
And hey, you know, my phone is ringing off the hook
with an apology from Kelly.
It's like, it's almost like she just
like took that plate and ran with it. I'm happy, I'm happy. Well, you know, like things happen and sometimes you have to forgive.
Oh, I believe in forgiveness. It's just so hard when someone throws a life of your child.
Ha! Now, if you're happy with it, if you're okay with betraying your daughter,
so that Kelly Dodd can shoot a scene in a T-shop then. Good for you, Tamara.
Maybe Kelly Dodd should have taken Kataliaillion class just the way I like my grandmother's
ticket and my mother's ticket and I took it and now Sophie's taking it and Catillion
and Catillion and I used all my second play bitch!
Well, my phone sure isn't ringing off the hook with Kelly Dodd calls.
Tell you that much.
Do I think Kelly Dodd should be calling me?
Yep Yeah, but maybe not in the kitchen because it's a setting with cups and plates to throw around
To be fair, I have blocked Kelly Dodd
But if Kelly Dodd were a true friend she would find a way to unblock me or have me unblock her
I don't know. I don't know David David fix the phone. Should Kelly Dodd have paid
block her. I don't know. I don't know. David, David, fix the phone. Shed Kelly. has paid $9.99 to an online private, private detective agency to find out my
new number. You? Things have been strange between me and David since I caught him dialing
Star 69 to people all the time. I'm not good enough for you. Why can't you star 69 me, David?
Now suddenly David's bringing four bottles of wine to dinner parties instead of three strange
Lydia's like Jesus started star 69
Yeah speaking of which Lydia and Doug are a dinner and Lydia wants dough to get a vasectomy
And of course because you know, he's such a manly man
Well Lydia being Lydia's dumb
She's like I think we have to cut your balls off
And to cook an ounce. Yeah, he's like well look. You know what I meld a horse is called a stallion
Because that's where his manly disc comes from his fucking ability or whatever
You two are both too stupid to live and then then he's like, you know what they call
a horse that's been neutered, they call it a gildy. She's like, well, you'll be my gildy.
Well, noblemen have cars now. So, it's like, I need to process this. We're both too stupid
to finish this conversation on camera. He's like, can we not discuss this while coconuts are falling from the sky? Thank you.
So then we go to pretend that I'm a pit bull that was found wandering the streets.
So then we go to Megan at home with her baby and Bridget is just hating her life. She's like,
why did I create to be her nanny? I should have just gone to Cosmetology school or whatever like anything but this
God, you tell the person you've been to great stones and next thing in there you're clea-clean shit diapers 20 times a day for the rest of your life
Yeah, cuz Brigitte has to stand there and listen as Megan's like
Which soap do you like I like this one? Do you like this one smell this one smells like old people right
huh just dispose hey aspen what do you think you went because you're wearing a justice
bow I like Irish spring or as I call it spring are you know a tool soap I can understand
when a woman gets jealous of her baby because shit like this happens. Jim comes home who's always like
uh every time Megan's like welcome home honey he's like uh gross you're here but then when he comes
home and sees the baby he's like oh hi do I get a little smile oh you're smiling I love you my little
baby yeah where that is like where's my where is my Chinese food from the microwave?
What was it that she was making last season all the time? It was like rice or
rye or hockey chicken. Well, she made a few chicken. I think that she can't
how to make teriyaki chicken. Hannah's like $10. And then she made rice
minute rice or something. You kicked it for like 30 minutes. How do you make
minute rice? How do you make microwave? I. She's like, how do you make minute rice?
How do you make my brother love to cook? Yeah
Yeah, so Jim shows up and then that's when Megan says that she thought
When she had the baby that Jim would be around more, but he's actually traveling more first I tricked him into marrying me. He still hated me
Then I tricked him into getting pregnant still hates me. What do I have to do?
Hey, why won't this baby ever smile at me hi baby smile smile she's like get the
fucking bow off my hand you stupid bitch so sick fucking soaps I thought that
maybe if I added more ties to my shirt that Jim would stay more you know
subliminal messaging ties to home but it just turns out that now I just have a lot of ties. I'm not sure.
You notice that she has all those little dangling ties.
Yes, she's not like certain fashion things. Yeah, she likes her ties and she likes her headbands.
Mm-hmm. A lot, odd girl this one.
So then we have a very intense chest montage,
which is exciting because I didn't know people should play chest down there. And then we see a very intense chess montage, which is exciting, because I don't know
people should play chess down there.
And then we see Kelly and Tamara going to have their garbage coffee.
Girl, haven't we learned to not take Kelly to T places yet?
Isn't that what happened when she fought last year with Heather?
She's like, which is in the T place?
Oh, yes.
How dare you order green tea?
Then treat me like this
I thought that was what when she was with Shannon which took Shannon to get off it was it was with Shannon
weren't they like that garden center or something?
Yeah, they were home people with the garden
It was like a hardware store that had like a t-shop out back and they were just sitting there amongst all this stuff
And then Shannon flipped out and people from other tables were like
I was hoping since they said they were gonna meet for coffee at in Laguna Beach. I was really hoping that goes to
What was it called?
Heidelberg's or something like that?
Or is that breaking bad? But there was like that place that always goes to on Laguna Beach. Anyone remember anyone?
I don't remember. I felt creepy.
Or the coffee clutch.
Like there's two older watches. Okay. Coffee clutch, anyone? Coffee clutch. No. Coffee to look. Anyone remember anyone I don't remember I felt creepy where the coffee clatch like her too old to watch this
Coffee clatch anyone coffee coffee to look so
Tamar arrives and she's like
And Kelly's like I'm gonna out puppet the puppet master. I'm gonna be like the master puppet master president of master
Puppeting guy
She'll be the one pulling the strings now like no it doesn't work that way Kelly you're the ones supposed to be pulling the strings and
Tamer's like well there's something about Calabat
She's like she's just stupid and like uncontrollable and like mean and vicious
But for some reason I want to give her a chance
Yeah, I wonder why
And she's like she's like you know, it's just crazy. Because Kelly has to switch.
That just turns her back.
Shit.
Crazy.
I'm like, have you seen the last eight years that you've been on this show?
I would say it's safe to a tamer montage for this.
She's like, I just don't know what it is about her.
I want to help.
And this is why we love your tamer, by the way.
This is not criticism.
This is actually praise.
This is praise for you.
And you should see that Kelly should,
you should take Kelly under your wing
because the two of you could be like this wonderful
two-headed trash monster.
And we would just bow down at your altar.
Yeah, is that trash can lonely?
It would be so cute with two.
What are their names?
The green guy who's in the trash can in the Muppet?
Oscar Grouch. Well, once again, we're coming back to the Muppets. Yeah, but why not?
We'll just keep it there, but you know, maybe it wouldn't be so grouchy if you had a little friend in there
Just just think the
Exactly
Imagine them both coming out of the trash can together going I I love trash, batch. I love it because it's trash, batch.
Batch.
It's a Kelly's like, I don't want to fight.
And Tim is like, well, I don't want to fight either.
It's just that like when you come at me,
hard batch, my claws fly out batch.
I'm like, you're both the same.
So.
Yeah.
She goes, will I apologize?
But after my apology, all hell broke loose
on social media. And Tim was like, yeah, but that hurt me. apology, all hell broke loose on social media.
And Tim was like, yeah, but that hurt me.
And she's like, yes, I did.
Because I'm the best apologizer on any housewives show ever.
And there is no excuse for what I did.
She's like, but you talked about my son and my husband,
that she's like, yes, yes, I did.
I'm so sorry.
I did.
But I couldn't control myself.
She's like, I don't understand.
I'm not being able to control yourself.
You stupid bitch. I'm gonna throw to control you. It's not stupid.
But I'm going to throw this cup and cut your bread with it.
Oh my god. I see what you mean.
That's my opinion.
Yeah. So they finally, after saying about a million times, I just, I don't want to go back.
I don't want to go back.
I think you're like me because like when it's done, it's done.
When you're over, it's over.
Yeah. When it's over, it's over.
Yeah. It's over.
I'm like, please
Enough with his bullshit. We spend half the season watching you guys hash out your rages for past four years. Okay, when it's over, it's not over
But I appreciate this charade and just go on and and and start a new feed with someone else
Well, it's much nicer to say that then
And also like being the only person that Shannon feels comfortable calling and ranting for four hours about how fat and mad she is is not as fun as it sounds. So get back on the call list.
Okay, Batch.
Okay, Batch.
So now that we've buried the hatchet for now, Batch, what else is going on?
And Kelly's like, um, my Vag is tightened.
And see Tamra and her are perfect friends because she's like my badger science
like oh my god I'm jealous because remember when we fought in Ireland like I can't
even control it I literally peed when we got in that way I peed myself I peed I
peed my pants like literally I did which was pretty funny actually so then we have a
four car garage after my kids and Kelly's like I literally have a Farcar Garage after my kids. And Kelly's like, I literally have a Farcar Garage.
So, she's like, she's not like that.
That's, yeah.
So we, speaking of Garage, we then go to Peggy.
And Peggy's getting ready for the big Lamborghini event.
And she tells us that this event is important
because they're, you know, she and Diko
are in the car industry.
And she's like, our reputation is glassy,
a professional.
I'm like, have you seen your black wine cookie car?
Yeah, all of those really important reputations
in the car dealer industry.
Exactly.
Yeah, there's something you gotta keep up.
Yeah, by the way, I'm respectable
than a car dealer, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm like, if they're doing everything to be like a medic and rich. Like, oh, Lamborghini yellow.
Oh, babe, I designed a closet, but the roof is so high.
I'm going to have to use a stick to get my shirts off the hanger.
Did you notice that?
I did.
It's like as high as the tall cave.
And there's a bar up there that he had to use a bar to put his shirts up
There so she could help him choose one. No, it looked like a laundromat
so
Yeah, so then what's funny is that you know when when once they're all dressed up
She's in heels and her hair is up so he she's like an inch taller than Diko and he's like what babe
You're taller than me. That's crazy. She's like, oh, you want me to tease your hair for you? Come come
I just like it was like a natural response. It was both very nurturing and loving but also ridiculous that clearly this happens a lot like babe
Tease alert tease alert. Come on. Do the hair make it all I
Made this house with tall enough ceilings that everybody looks poor in here or everybody looks short in here
But it's not gonna work at the dealership. I have a reputation to protect.
Yeah.
So, it's not that becoming a cheat.
And don't worry everybody, I hear it,
but I don't know how to stop it.
So, yes, and by the way, we're not even touching
this crazy scandal because they're all sorts of sides coming out.
So, I know everyone keeps messaging us and tweeting at us about this Peggy business with
her brother. And we keep saying all sorts of stuff.
We're just not going to touch it.
We're not going to touch it.
Yeah.
Lydia Peggy is one of those people that if she's a vile human being with a terrible side,
it will come out and it will come out soon.
So I figure we'll save the we'll save the hatred for actual things that are happening
on the show. And stuff that are happening on the show and
Not stuff that no one knows the truth of yeah. Yeah, I mean after all
I mean if we if we looked at every single thing these people did off camera
I mean we wouldn't be able to talk about anyone
I would be screaming the entire show and we'd never even get to the T-shot
Yes, so instead we're gonna head over to the Lamborghini of Newport Beach
Where everyone has assembled for this very important moment the unveiling of a new Lamborghini because
That's a very important thing for people to see it's a huge moment for Peggy
She's been practicing for this. I mean they're acting like it's her first time in a lead role to community theater
You know
What are you guys? She's gonna pull a sheet off a car like yeah calm down
So everyone's showing up and Lydia and Doug are there and and they meet Lydia's daughters and Lydia goes
And then Megan and Jim show up and Megan's like it's really crowded
And then Megan and Jim Shaw the Megan's like it's really crowded
So Lydia Peggy party coming what Peggy how old how old Lydia? Oh, yeah, whatever So Lydia goes to know Peggy a little bit more and she's making fun of her for being 36 and
Lydia's like you look young. I'm not and she is well
I'm gonna cut off my husband's balls and she's like they cut off balls in America. Why they got a why do Armenians you need balls
And she goes why would your husband do this? You know some men would not do this for fear of being less of a man
And she goes so would your husband doing it Would your husband do it? She's like,
like I said, some men would find this a masculating.
With men.
On Tuesdays, our husbands grow third ball.
That's joke. That's joke.
Armenian joke. This, this extra ball is why they beat us. Oh, it's a joke.
What is this? That's a good.
I like that now. A third of the cast thinks that to get a second me and Ben get their balls taken
out. Yes. So Vicki enters. Oh, hi. Hi. Oh, hi, Vicki, the gumball said, hello, cat cold attack. Oh, yeah,
the other kind of cat insurance got to work. Why is no one
here working? Why is everyone here standing around? Where
is anyone working? I'll tell you what everyone with a
Lamborghini needs insurance. That's why it's the
lie. She's like, so we're gonna announce something important,
just a new type of Lamborghini. Oh, so
That you look at you your real mom now now you understand. Wow great to see you looking great looking thin
Nice if you did rest like an orca for tonight very nice
so So then they're like Peggy we need Peggy. It's time to do the unveiling
There's not even a speech. There is nothing. It's literally peggy yanking the sheet
off. The thing's like three, two, one. And she like pulls the thing off and everyone's
like, yay. Peggy is like, there's like just this kind of, oh, because this is just this
bright yellow Lamborghini. It looks like every other Lamborghini. And he goes, it's a bright yellow car.
Wow.
What's the big deal?
Shut up, you're stupid.
You're stupid.
They know that the Toyota Fiesta comes in this color
already, don't they?
You know the Transformer movie has this car,
ain't it already, right, huh?
Wow, a Transformer, it's too stupid to transform. You sure so that's
rich lady. Congratulations, will
you share the buff now? Megan is
hilarious. She's like, yay!
You're like I'm rich! So
fuck you! Yeah, Megan was not
happy with that. Because
she'll see her Kevin to rad to quarter.
Well, at least they kept the whole thing one color, you know, but of course, Vicki
acts awesome.
But what's the first thing she says out loud to her family?
How about wide?
Yes.
Typical Vicki.
Also, I don't know if you heard that after Peggy pulled off the sheet Lydia literally goes good job Peggy
I'm like it's the equivalent of
Changing the sheets on your bed. You just pull a shit off Peggy was so nervous. She chugged her
He's like baby a sign. I don't even to get the five minutes
Like chugs her drink like she's about to you know sing don't cry for me. I've gentina is just Friday's.
Oh my goodness.
And then they cut to Jim and Megan, just boring people and separately.
Because Jim is somewhere talking about like the baby.
He's like, yeah, Megan's a real shuper.
Like, we'll wake up in the morning and then the baby will be crying.
And I'll be like, mom, I'm gonna do it gonna do it and Megan be like no, I'll do it
So I'll go back to the event shall I deal with the baby then she gets back into bed
I mean like sometimes I wake up something I don't but usually I'll like wake up a few hours later
And then the baby's crying again, so I'll like go back to see and this was like oh my god
Yeah, I've been in doubt enough. I've been in doubt enough to realize not my fucking job
And Megan's like, you know like sometimes I have to like feed the baby and
Like sometimes she gets hungry, but sometimes she cries And she's like a baby and she's like, she smiles and like I'll ask her do you like this soap and I'm like, you know tool and she's like, yes, I am because me or baby
I'm like, oh yeah, hey, do you guys meet nanny like she's awesome. I'm so lucky. I'm after like in Ireland last year
I just kept saying are you from Graystone? Are you from Graystone? And she said yes, and so I brought her back
Her dad was the one who helped me find Greystones. He worked at the kinkos. He helped me make all those
flyers. You guys come into the sippincy. You're coming to sippincy. And then Peggy, the worst actress
ever is like, oh, you went to Ireland because like, yeah, yeah, we were last year we are with Ireland. Oh, you're both wet to Ireland.
I was like Peggy, stop, stop talking so animatedly. You're making everybody uncomfortable.
What is this Ireland? So, um, so then uh Vicki, so they're gonna come to the Sip and Sea and Megan
Basie doesn't want Vicki to make a scene and Vicki's like, oh, would I ever make a scene in a siphoncy with a baby and they're like, I was like, yes, you would.
Yeah.
Yes, you would.
Yeah.
And then, in fact, he's like, well, maybe all you need, check, you know what, we don't
want to talk about, you don't even know anything about it, okay?
You don't need to know about Ireland for real.
And then he, and someone says, well, Shanah's going to be there and Vicky's like, who cares? Like, it's over. Like, I don't need to know about Ireland for real and Lydia and Someone says what Shanna's gonna be there and think it's like who cares like it's over like I don't care
I don't care and Lydia says oh see you're mentally prepared because a quiet woman I was not mentally prepared
So Salon Tamra go on a couple's date with their husbands who look like they both hate them both
Yes
So they bit they they Tamer and Eddie show but Shannon's place and their tamer is like hi batches
So like Peggy's husband's getting her a Lamborghini. So what are you betcha's gonna get for us batches?
And so then
He's like in an even floor
Yeah, and Eddie was like well, I got you a bike,
and then Shana goes, well, David got me an elliptical machine.
Oh.
At least there were me a lot of light-hearted conversations.
I miss that.
Oh, yeah, no, she's like, well, David got me an elliptical machine.
That is so cold.
And then Tamer goes, yeah, bike batch.
You know, I give you a ride sometimes,
and they just look at her like, oh, and they walk away. cool and then Tamragas yeah bite-batch you know I give you a ride sometimes and
they just look at her like and they walk away. Tamrags like this is more fun we
don't need to be at like the event with the Lamborghini and like with drinks and
fun times and talking whatever and Shana's like yeah this is great I'm having so much fun! What a great time, because we're so happy, we're happy to have happy times.
Tim Rathas, I feel really good after having tea with Calibats and Shana goes,
Oh I'm glad you feel good about it.
I would have joined if I'd been invited, but it's good because I spent all that time on the elliptical machine that David got me because I'm a fat pig
Apparently some
So you're gonna make calm right when we go to the step-and-save
That's right like you're gonna be calm right like Vicky can't make him
I might even say hello, which means she's gonna go start a fight with Vicki.
And Sam was like no! No! Do not do it around famous bats. Well, if you help me say calm with my
green-eyed monster and I'll help you say calm with your Satan. Yeah, I'm expressive. I'm reactive. That's all I'm I'm I'm lovable. I'm sweetheart.
When Satan tries to crawl right back into your soul and pretend like he had never left in the first
place, I will say no sir! Not not today, Satan. Not today. Let me let me drop some pounds first
and then we can talk.
I'm going to tell Peggy's entire family about this over speaker phone.
And then we can talk to that parrot and talk some sense into it.
I'm rude parrot.
So back at the Lamborghini party,
Vicki's like, I would never do that front of the child.
And Meg is like, yes, you would.
And Vicki, then we get a montage of Vicki being mean about Megan to Jim. She's like, well, you're
very do it idiot. So there you go.
For versus saying to them. Yeah, she said, she's like, like, enjoyed getting, enjoyed
getting divorced. Yeah. I give you guys five years. Yeah, I'm fighting with him. And
Jim's like, so then Vicki's like, look, we've all been beat to each other.
That's what's happened here.
We've all been beat to each other, you know?
And she's like, look, I have issues with these girls.
They just, they don't understand where I'm coming from
because they have no empathy.
And sometimes I don't understand where they're coming from
because I don't understand how beat people work, you know?
So it's kind of confusing, I have to feel bad for them And Megan's like no specifically like remember it's not like like a general thing that we don't understand
We understand because in in Ireland like you and Shannon got along and then Kelly said all that stuff and then you got mad
I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
Look, I can't just be the only wedo apologize for the opposite. Okay. Americans, actually you can.
Usually that's the way apologies work.
Yeah, but I apologize and I just don't get anything back.
I get nothing back from Shannon.
Americans, isn't that the point of an apology that you're not
supposed to expect anything back?
No.
Usually when you apologize, what you do is you say things happen and then they're supposed to apologize to you. That's how it works
Yeah, normally you just tell them like I'm sorry that you're so emotionally secure that you're bad about something as nothing to do with you
You know, is that the way no like you're supposed to say like I'm sorry for being a dumb slut who like light about cancer and trick everyone
Okay
I think he just starts getting so pissed. And he's like,
you know what? You said it already. Sometimes it's better close your mouth. Okay. She just
close your mouth. And Megan's like, huh. And she's like, okay, here's what you do. Take your lips,
close your lips like this. Okay. Now watch. And then she just pinches Megan's lips closed,
which admittedly if someone did that to me, I would be really annoyed,
but it was kind of hilarious watching it happen.
It was good.
And it was.
Baggy was basically like a sober, boring,
Armanian to Rindah.
She's like, Glipp.
Glipp, Glipp, Glipp, Glipp, Glipp.
What is Glipp?
Glipp.
I mean, basically, Peggy was saying,
the more you talk about it, the more it's become a thing.
So just be quiet and just move on.
And then some egg was like, oh, why did you do that? I don't understand. What? What just happened?
I was physically assaulted. Like Megan's trying to compute how offended she's allowed to be,
how offended she's going to be and how many episodes this is going to last her. Yeah. And Vicki's
just like, shut up Megan. Shut up. Yeah. Just shut up. I love you Peggy. You nailed it. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna get some
lip clip justice
Megan is gonna get some justice now. Yeah, it's not for a very important reason, but I don't care
I need Megan seeking justice for something at all times. Yeah, we gave Megan her her dud season where she got pregnant.
It's time for her to get mad about things now. Okay. And she is coming right back in.
Last season, she was like, I don't want to fight this season. She's like, I want to fight.
I mean, I also want to smell soaps. Soaps smell like a good arc. Yeah. I mean,
smell these different soaps for about five episodes. That fun. Is that good?
I mean, it's not like I'm going to get a lot of work. Yeah, I'm going to
smell these different soaps for
about five episodes. That fun. Is
that good? A willingness to just
be, you know, as honest as
possible while also letting your
husband emotionally abuse you on
television. I mean, it's a perfect
combination. It really is. And I
just I really, really hope that
Megan gets in touch with her
shit stirring side because she was so good at it her first season.
This see this shows hilarious. Love your real housewives of Orange County.
Tomorrow we will be back here with our below deck mid finale.
Yeah.
Don't forget to go to watch what crap and
stop calm to get your live show ticket September 2nd with Jeff Lewis,
Jenny Bullows and Gage Edward for a flipping out panel.
And also we'll be recapping the famous Real Housewives of New York episode of Scary
Ireland.
Yes, sir.
And then we're doing archa-cago show.
That's when?
Yeah.
You say that stuff.
Um, the Chicago shows are on September 27th.
There are going to be two shows in one night at Lincoln Hall
and tickets go on sale this Friday at 11 a.m. Eastern 8 a.m. Pacific and 10 a.m. Chicago
time. So we will be recapping two different shows. So we'll be doing two shows that night
and they'll be different. So yeah, we don't really know how we're going to do it or what's
going to happen. It all depends on what shows are airing and probably at that time, but either way, two
different shows, it'll be amazing. Yes, everybody, we love you. Thanks for all you do for us.
Thanks for the support. Go to Patreon for bonus episodes, et cetera. And we will talk to you later.
Bye.
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about
yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
at 1dry.com slash survey.