Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Noblebetch
Episode Date: August 22, 2017The Real Housewives of Orange County gather to celebrate Nobleman Magazine, but will Tamra be lucky enough to fight with? Fingers crossed! Enjoy! ** Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos ...are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some
ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins.
That's patreon.com-watch-watch-what-crapins.
You can also find this on social media.
On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins.
We'll see you there. I'm going to watch what
crap ends would like to think
it's premium sponsors.
Kelly Grant Cindy Burgess
Gerson. Just saying Kelly
Barlow and Christy Dowerty.
We love you girls.
Hello and welcome to watch what
crap ends the podcast about all
that crap we love to talk about on Yeal Broves.
I'm Ronnie Carram from the Rose Pricks Bachelor in Paradise podcast now.
Yeah.
It's your aim with my gorgeous talented little friend, Mr. Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the Banta Blinda.
Hello, Ben.
Hi, Ronnie. What's up?
How are you doing baby?
Oh, I feel spectacular.
We are, it's a beautiful Tuesday,
ready to embrace all the Tuesday things of Tuesday's.
I'm happy, I'm ready, I'm excited.
We spent the first couple hours
of our crap in Tuesday meeting and talking about stuff
and planning stuff because our life has got our
lives have become busier but so much more fun. It is weird talking about real-life
things like I know how do we organize this and then yeah because we're because now
we're like doing live shows and now it's like oh we got to figure out how to do
this with the merchandise and how we do that and how we do this and where do we get that.
And like we, we should probably mention that we're doing, can we officially mention the SCAV
thing that we're, I like I'm spelling it out as if no one, it's like everyone's like
a toddler.
Okay, yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
We should mention it.
So, I think it's time.
Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. We should mention it. So I think it's time. Yeah, okay. So for the
September 2nd show here
Here in Los Angeles. It's it's gonna be a huge shows gonna be a ton of people. We're so excited
Jeff Lewis, it said we're a flipping out panel scary. I've learned to recap. It's gonna be great Craig pillow pillow from Craig that we're gonna wrap a lot
Oh, it's wrong. It's wrong. You have to get raffle tickets now. Oh, and Jesus. OK, so that's going to be big.
So because it's a holiday weekend,
people are going to be traveling into LA.
And we said we try and come up with something fun send
day to do for the people that are here and just want
to hang out and have fun.
So we thought instead of just having a party where we all
get drunk, we would do
something really, really fun. Or in addition to, you should say, well, yeah, in addition
to we are going to get drunk. Yeah, we are going to get drunk. But like instead of like renting
out an entire restaurant and blah, blah, blah, I'm like having to worry, but we're like,
look, what we all like to do is laugh our asses off together. We all love meeting each other at these shows because we're all like my did people, the listeners.
Yes.
So we all get along.
And I thought one of my favorite things to do in LA has been the scavenger hunt.
Yes.
So we're going to be doing a Bravo themed team scavenger hunt.
Yeah. Where everybody is going to be team debt, teams of four,
walk running around West Hollywood and parts of Beverly Hills,
uh, figuring out clues. So yeah, like doing that,
separately take pictures, next to things, you know, and then at the
end, where everyone's going to sort of show up at one place,
probably a bar, probably West Hollywood, and everyone's going to show up.
And the winners are going to get some cool crap and swag.
And I am on a one man mission with Ronnie's input.
So it's really a two man's mission to make some custom metals.
Watch our crap and limited, like one of a kind metals that will hopefully be super sparkly and the rest of the the rest of the the rest of the
the rest of the the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the
the rest of the the rest of the the rest of the the rest of the the rest of the the rest of the Those of you who are coming alone or think that you can't be a part of this because you
don't know anybody, that's the point.
We're all gonna gather together and we're gonna make our team so as we get there and just
go for it.
And then we're gonna end up at a great spot where we can start bar hopping for whoever
just wants to keep going and going with us.
So definitely go to watch it crapens.com
if you want tickets for the live show
and everything else will announce as it comes along, everybody.
Yeah, and a lot of you people have seen
our crapens magnetic poetry on our social media
and everyone's like, oh my god, I want that,
which is really cool.
The only way you're gonna get it is to become the LA show.
That's the only place we're selling it for right now.
So, you know, we're basically just trying to throw it. We it is to become the LA show. That's the only place we're selling it for right now. So
You know, we're basically just trying to throw it. We're throwing everything at this LA show. We're doing everything. We got St. Louis, we got scavenger hunt. We made crap. We bought crap. It's my neck poetry. We bought a custom tablecloth people a custom tablecloth.
I mean, come on.
Yeah, and they're getting Craig from Southern charm. He's he's actually sewn the pillow and it is in transit
To Los Angeles, and so many people that we've made friends with over the years here
Producasters that we all love will be there. It's a bunch of bravo people are gonna be there in the audience
It's just gonna be a really really fun weekend, so good news
Who knows who might show up? Who knows?
I'm not saying, I'm not saying either because, girl, we live in a town of flakes.
You never know who's going to actually come.
It's like, I want to come to your show and then they'll be, you know, emailing us two
years later, like, when was your show again?
Yeah.
But we have a potential in a town full of snakes.
We have a potential huge snowflake full of snakes. We have a potential
huge snuff like. Love them, Smith, like Skurr. All right, well let's get on with the real
haswazaavones, Cammy, shall we been? I think that's a swell idea. Lydia waving her hands like that and her opening is ridiculous. Oh,
get on my rain,
but
Lydia's arms are like they move in the wobbly motion of like anti goodbye arms,
just under arms, and I don't mean that she has flabby under arms. I just mean her whole movement.
It's like does she have bones? How does she move like that? Yeah, she's just, you know, she just, she just has very soft
cartilage. I don't think she has bones. Just a smooth, eel-like quality, you know. It just made me laugh.
Yeah, that's my room! Oh my god, Lydia, she's even doing it. The
off the big. Yeah, very bossy rainbow, by the way, very bossy. I don't like that
mandate. If you can't sit in my sparkle, get off my rainbow. Maybe some of us
want to be on a sparkle free rainbow. How about that? Well, we don't want
sparkle in our eyes. Don't even lean rainbow. We're gay, man. Okay, we've already messed with the rainbow enough this year. It's like, don't even rainbow. We're gay man. Okay. We've already messed with the rainbow enough this year.
It's like don't even start your rainbow bullshit with us,
because we'll go in.
We'll do it.
There's a strong opinions in the gay community about the rainbow
Lydia.
Yeah.
So don't don't even.
Okay.
The easy room for everyone on your start.
Hey, don't get me started.
Don't even get me started.
Yeah, we are on your rainbow road
and we are not driving off of it.
And if we do a little like lock a two guy in a cloud
with a camera, it's going to hoist us back up
and put us back on the track.
OK.
So we opened this episode over Vicky's.
Where Brianna and the boys are coming over.
No, no, no, no.
We know if you say those kids are off the wall, it's actually not an insult.
It's literally describing what they're doing. They're literally climbing her walls.
They, one of them looked like when a Carol's cat just hanging on the curtains.
Except it was like the refrigerator handles or something.
It reminded me of the scene in Gremlins when they come into the kitchen and like everything is going
bonkers and there's like a Gremlin swinging on the ceiling fan and making toast and the other one
in a blender like the kids are just climbing everywhere. They're soon they're gonna be like driving
around a toy store and a little like Malibu Barbie car.
And Vicki's son, Mike, can be Phoebe Kate's.
Just like slightly bewildered.
But not really knowing what to do, you know?
Well, because I could totally imagine Vicki being the one
who gets sent out the window on her chair
that goes up the staircase.
What? I feel like Vicki's the one who, goes up the staircase. Wow.
I feel like Vicki's the one who ends up in the blender.
I just want Mikey's milk back.
That's what she's saying. It's just what make us go back.
David, David, they're crab months all over the house.
David, what are you doing?
30 to 40 negative crab months.
I touched water.
That Vicky splattered on me.
Now I am a chunky bin.
A chunky gremlin.
I touched the water.
Next thing I knew, a little thing around my back and another little small evil version of me popped out.
I knew it was.
That Phoebe Kates would have given me more than a bite of swordfish to make it
through this experience. It's not my where but you fucking bitch.
Throw his grandma across the crowd woman. Quite lady. Quite woman. Quite woman.
Big does bacon. Uncle Mike making bacon. So I don't know why I'm even writing every little thing from the scene, but Brianna's like,
God damn it.
How much longer do I have to do this myself?
It's exhausting.
I'm like excuse me.
Vicki does a lot, okay.
I've heard her say it.
She's done a lot for your kids.
So Vicki's like, oh, you know how people put little
marks to see when the kids are growing up? Well, we've got them all over the house. Look,
the foot print on the walls from when he was two and his brother threw him across the
room.
Vicki wants more grandkids. So she's already pressuring Michael with his lady, his name
Danny or something like that. So she's already pressuring Michael with his his lady surname Danny or something like that
So she's she's already pressuring in you got a date to make and then
But but of course it only takes a sort of out of time before talk gets over to about Shannon Badoor and Tamara
And because of the sippincy Mike's like did you go see the sipping? Oh, no, because they saw the sippincy and Mike's like
So that's like
a shower and a see my baby thing all in one. It's like, no, it's a bloody of thing.
Brianna's like, Brianna's like, uh-huh, they should have sipping seas for toddlers and
we just sit around and watch them break stuff. This is why Ryan needs to get back from
Oklahoma because you know if Ryan's there, those kids aren't even allowed to put their feet on the couch
Okay, those kids will be standing straight. Oh, I have a feeling he's had to change his outlook on that one
Oh, yeah, probably yeah, suddenly the importance of a white couch
Fades yeah, so Vicki is basically saying she's once again
Casting herself as the victim somehow and she's like oh oh yeah, Shannon needs to stop blaming me for her problems
You know, although I'm flat. I'm flat at that Shannon thinks of me when she's eating her food and not exercising
Yeah, but she has something to do was she's just sitting there eating
Geez, it makes it makes sense that she eats so much because you know, she is crazy for Cocoa buffs and I bet she eats them too
You know, I got that syip and C. Shadd is hide behind the hot dog.
I think Shadd thought it was called a Gorgian C.
You know, Shadd, the original Peter.
It's not called a Bingen C.
Hey, does she get a gift? So, by the way, Vicki, what an asshole. You know, Vicki has remained
close with Kelly, I guess, in the offseason. These two are really monsters, okay? Someone put up a
Vicki Gumbelsen Instagram post, and it's a room service for two where I guess her and Kelly are splitting a club sandwich
and it says we are hungry all we want to do is eat who does this sound like oh
That's obnoxious. Yes, and then Kelly put up something where she was eating it
But deals
But yes, that's all that and she wrote a tam Tamara Judge wrote, keep eating that, that, that, that, that, like
Shaki face. Like now you're all calling each other fat. This is great. It's great, guys.
Yeah. Great. Great. Great to see that they've got. No, I wish they would have brought
some of their anger from Instagram onto the show because I mean, I'm still enjoying
the show quite a bit. I really do. I mean, I love it. A lot of people online are like, this show is so boring.
And it really isn't boring because we had that amazing Q-Dub scene.
The problem is what's boring is that we're still kind of in the same quagmire we were last
year.
Like no one likes to see a feud that leads to a second season of the same feud.
You know, it's what happened on Jersey.
It happened on some of these other shows. You know, it's time to get it going. At least the Shah's, a sunset, have the good
sense to wipe the slate every year. You know, they're like, GG's family now. Oh, that's
so Persian. You know, these girls like, I love it. Peggy's got the right idea. Like, we
got to like move on from this feud because it's not as interesting as it was last year.
And even if they want to keep fighting about the same shit,
at this point, I'll even take that, but you have to shoot together.
Like you have to talk.
Yeah. I mean, how many times can Megan, which is the next, uh, the next scene?
But I mean, Megan, how, how much can she talk to this fucking Annie?
You know, like what the hell exactly exactly?
And Megan, by the way, you're back, you got to bring something more to the table
than face timing with Jimmy every episode and talking about candles.
Okay, like please, please, there's more to life than wax.
She's putting her dog girl, girl. She's putting girly girl's face through the manny or through the Megan cut out from the sipping scene
She's like isn't that hilarious and the man is like yeah
She's like I like to put my head through that also except instead of that could be a news because I'm really gonna kill myself right now
I have to listen anymore of this I've
Literally sucked on your tip through this entire season so far.
So, can we get a farewell picture?
What last time?
So Megan's like, what did you think of the party?
I think that everyone got along.
I mean, you know, of course they avoided each other.
Did you see how nervous Sharon was?
I've never seen a hotdog blend used like that.
Edible armor, every army ever would have been defended.
I didn't know how to tell Shannon that it wasn't July 4th, so why was she eating so many
hotdogs?
Not Kony Island. So why was she eating so many hot dogs? Not on the island and she does this impression of Sam and she goes I'm
anxious
It's like terrible like that was too good when they just did and the man he goes that was actually a really got an impression of her
She's like can I go now or do I have to eat more of your rice
surrounding?
Yay, crunchy minute rice.
Outweigh for lunch.
Oh, are we going to discuss how good your chicken teriyaki was?
That's exciting.
That's cool.
That girl is both of the PBS ladies from Saturday, Matt Lai.
Rolled into one blonde girl.
She's like, that was a really good impression of her.
She's so bored. Oh, so now it's time for Megan to do her favorite thing, which is FaceTime Jimmy,
while he's doing something significantly more interesting to him. Look C. Look at this, isn't it cute? Look at the stress, isn't it cute? Look at
these shoes, isn't it cute? He's like, uh, he's like, yeah, hey, uh, I'm at the DMV, so
you mind if I do this, it's just a little more interesting being here at the DMV, than
talking to you. Even better, he's, he's got his phone on his desk, so he doesn't give
a shit. You only see it like his chin. And then he's got his sandwich next to his phone on his desk. So he doesn't give a shit. You only see it like his chin.
And then he's got his sandwich next to his phone.
And he keeps putting his phone down on the desk
to grab a sandwich and eat it.
So I'll see really see his second chin.
Like, whoa.
Hey, babe.
Sorry, I got to finish the tuna sandwich
and then I'm in an epic game of mine, see Reaper.
So I can't go back. She's like, look at girly girl. Sorry, I got to finish the tuna sandwich and then like I'm in an epic game of mine see Reaper so like
Can I go back? She's like look at look at girly girl. He's like I don't need to see the dog
And she's like believe it or not ever since we had the baby. He's really softened up I'm like I actually don't believe that because it's like a 10th kid. Okay. He's not gonna saw it
Like it's one thing after the first kid you soften up, But not like now like child number seven like you'd really believe it
But he's really sweet. I'm like out of the baby. We've seen it. We've never seen him treat you like that ever
Ever okay, but you know what if you're happy on board, so
You're happy. You're happy.
I'm bored.
Jimmy's really sweet.
Believe it or not.
Knowledge.
Knowledge.
No, it's true.
I was pretty knowledge.
Private.
Just in his sweetness.
Private.
Love for my husband, Justice.
When he's not being, he's like a huge utter asshole.
He's really sweet.
I'm like, you could say that pretty much bad, everyone.
You know what I heard about Pull Pot? When he wasn't being just the worst person that Cambodia ever saw
He was really sweet. Yeah
Kim Chun-Joon probably like sleeps with a teddy bear
That's usually the way it works when you're not being an asshole then you're usually nice
That's what being an asshole is is when you're not being nice. You're an asshole
Then you're usually nice. That's what being an asshole is is when you're not being nice. You're an asshole
Yep, pretty much. He's like God even Putin picks a flower once in a while am I right guys?
Putin's like how dare you
He's like ah flower gay I kill some
Okay, so Lydia and Doug
He they're doing the obligatory the housewife has nothing to say. So let's let her husband lease her a card to pretend that they're really rich enough to be on this show. Exactly. So
they walk out to the front yard and like blind like Doug leads he's like I'm gonna blindfold you and she's like
and they get there to the driveway and there's like this new infinity SUV and she's like oh it's my SUV mom car and she's all excited because she always used to have these sporty little
cars but now she needs to have an SUV but she's gonna have it in style and then he's like
but now she needs to have an SUV, but she's gonna have it in style and then he's like,
wait, honey, one more surprise, and he opens up the garage and rolls out and asks him, Martin.
Now, here's the thing. Did you notice the street there were living out? Do you notice these are like houses that are like cheek by-jaw? And I'm sure they're all extremely expensive,
but girl, like, save that money for like a larger backyard. I mean, you guys are like in like a,
like, what are you doing with an asks-am an ASMR and an infinity when you guys are basically like, it's like ranch or
cook a monger or something like that.
You guys are right next to each other.
And he's like, look, and it's also got rims.
I was like, oh geez, you guys even let Diko in on this.
It's like, why don't you just start shooting from a fucking Honda dealership?
Okay, you too.
I know.
Are you buying that shit?
Seriously, I was actually sad.
I thought that Lydia and Doug were above this sort of charade.
Well, there was a blind item and the blindy itemy website, whatever.
And it was saying that they're not, they haven't been doing so well.
And even though she comes from a really rich family, they have to make money on their own and blah blah blah and she's back and she's willing to move back to do it and blah blah blah
So you know for Lydia this is making an effort like we're gonna do the car scene
But now we'll get to cars and then like when she starts on her whole, you know ever since I was a little girl
My birthdays are so important.
Then she goes to a birthday lunch or has been made or whatever over the ocean with all this jewelry and like more boxes.
And I'm like, girl, I know, buddy, buy it.
It's just it's a sad day when Lydia falls in the footsteps of Slate and Gretchen.
It's just it shouldn't be that way. It should not be that way.
Oh my god. I hope one day karaoke, Lydia sings Gretchen song.
She wrote for Slate.
What was that? So I forgot.
Some sort of like low rent.
Yeah. Linda Ronstadt asks,
Travesty.
Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up
on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellas-I.
And I'm Sydney Battle,
and we're the hosts of WonderZnew Podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud
from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Beaver,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon,
despite both Selina and the Bebers making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.
I don't know much, but I know I'm proposing to you
yeah oh god these two so she's like hey daddy and I are gonna go for a drive
you all get a statement grandma and Lydia's there and she's like I'm gonna take
these monkeys and sugar up which now it sounds just fucking creepy lady yeah please don't
sugar the babies okay Peggy oh Peggy Peggy would you like some coffee daughter
before you go to work you must have coffee daughter my my daughters don't need to work, but they choose to work.
I work.
Sort of like a way.
No, ask, I just make some strange joke about Coco playing ball in the house.
Like Coco.
Like Coco. He chooses to play ball in the house.
Coco is playing horse in the house and then we beat it.
In my country when we say you play horse that means you actually get a prostitute and you play with her.
It's a joke.
It's a joke.
I worked for six months when I was sixteen but I had to quit because she told me to clean toilets.
I know clean toilets. Two rules. No clean toilets,
no ball in house, no beach or wife on Thursday. No dwelling. All right, four rules.
No talk about it. Coco, oh, I have hot flash.
Even her hot flashes was making me laugh.
She's like, oh, I old lady, I have hot flash.
Are we done? Are we done? Are we done?
Let us sit. I talked to Vicki and we had a little bit discussion.
And I sent from her tired over and the daughter's like
maybe she's avoiding confrontation because she doesn't want to be in it. I mean, but if they don't
talk and she goes, oh, talking. Everyone has opinions and we just keep opening the warm up.
You know, like in seventh grade, when you die
sight worm, and it's a miserable experience, you get bad grades,
that's what I'm talking about. Oh, I never got that far. They
told me to clean toilet. I said, no, I say, well, I say, I
don't need science. The daughter goes, you're an English major,
and you can't tell me one fucking story are you kidding me?
I don't know they're stabbing, conniving, get over it! Next chapter!
It's like, oh you are never ever gonna get over what happens to you on this show.
I have not seen any advanced copies
or heard anything, but I can guarantee you it. You will never get over it. Yes, you will
have a grudge. You will definitely be terrible. Yeah, she keeps saying all the fighting is
petty and stupid, but wait till she gets, you know, dragging to something and then she'll
she'll be hanging on to it for four years. I guarantee. Well, yeah, she makes it to a fourth
season. Yeah, you know, someone's going to, Vicki's going to be for four years. I guarantee. Well, yeah, it makes it to a fourth season.
Yeah, you know, someone's gonna,
Vicki's gonna be a huge ole.
Tab is the one who attacked your brother,
got all that whole before the stuff,
but all the whatever.
So then we go over to Lidian Duck.
Oh, wait, one quick thing we forgot to mention this.
Remember on last week, we happily announce
that Katie Kizorler from Second Wives Club would be doing our merch table. She's not.
You know, I texted her, I texted her right after we announced that because I was like,
if we announce it, she has to do it, right? Because that makes it official. And I was like,
we announced that you have to do it. She's like, whoops.
Yeah, she'd go, I'm actually out of town. I don't know why I just thought of it, that
I was like, I'm not going to remember later. So I'm just saying, right, I'm actually out of town. I don't know why I just thought of it that I was like I'm not gonna remember later
So I'm just saying it right. I'm inserting it right now sneak attack. Oh
Okay, classic speaking of sneak attacks Lydia and Doug now go on this is my note
I say Lydia and Doug go on a hell ride. Oh hell it. Hellie. I
Was it a hell ride for us
That's a hell ride for us. Oh, right.
Hell, I can't believe it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, whoa, waving her hands up in the air. I'm fighting with you. Go with totally all ER on her.
Oh, these two.
Also, we have to note that Gretchen and Slade also,
helicopter ride, don't forget that engage me.
This is very creepy.
This is like one of those horror movies when you realize
that someone's acting out the guy's turning into the serial killer.
It's like the shining.
It's like, you know what?
He's getting possessed with all the spirits, the dougies, and the people who died at the
overlook hotel.
Except they're not the overlook hotel.
They're just poor men from Orange County.
However!
Oh, Gretchen, we miss you, bitch.
I'll work, and no play makes Doug a very
boring guy.
The dirty pretty dull, okay?
I also want to say this. What what person in 2017 a launches a magazine and be launches a magazine and then buys an ass in Martin
That does not seem like proper financial planning. Considering that magazines are a dying industry.
And this one's $20 an issue.
Yeah, Orange County man's guy to being a gentleman.
I have got concerns.
I'm an email.
I have his card.
I'm literally staring at his card right here
in front of me.
Why do you have his card?
Because when I met Lydia at the airport,
and I was like, oh, let me email.
She's like, she gave me her husband's card
And it's by the way
For everything for all this shit talk we're talking about Doug right now, and he is such a sweetheart
But for all his talk this shit talk this card is like one of the best cards business cards
I've ever ever held on my hand. It is so
thick and
sturdy and
like well-constructed and looks the graphic design on it is excellent. I take it all back his magazines could be magnificent
It's gonna be noble. Okay, can you can you hear this? You hear that noise? Yes, is that the card?
That's the card. Do that do you hear that construction?
That is Doug
Glockland with Loflins card
Wow
That's a big tool. Yeah, now I Now here as now I also have Judy's card.
Judy gave me her card. This is hers. She has a heavy card to you. No, no, hers is this.
This is Doug's. Well, now I don't even know the business. This is Doug. This is Judy.
Oh my gosh. Do you hear the difference? I mean, I you should next time you do this, This is Doug. This is Judy.
Oh my gosh. Do you hear the difference?
I mean, you should, next time you do this,
to somebody just leave out hers.
Here, wait.
Here, this is now, that was on the side.
This is the other side of them clapping.
This is Doug.
This is Judy.
Oh my God.
Oh my God. Welcome to Watch Your Crappin, the only podcast where we do a cover,
where we do an in-depth comparison between business cards of two Ancillary characters
of Real House of Arms Academy. Card slamming. A Watch Your Crappin spin-off. Please send in your cards.
Now this one here, that's my laundry card. Okay, that was heavy, right? That
was the heavy. Well, that's a credit card. It literally has a credit card. And this one
here, guess what this one is? What? That's my Dave and Buster's Batman rechargeable
power card. Oh, for Christ's sake. Look, did you hear that? Was that the sound of all of our listeners dropping,
dropping their subscription to our podcast? Yeah. Okay. So Lydia, that was my iPhone by the way.
Which could have shattered and I totally would have blamed Megan King Edvin's myself.
So, uh, they're now at this, you know,
chain restaurant talking about their launch party. And Lili is like, thank you so
much for all my presents. Okay, we're getting your balls chopped off next week.
And Doug, Doug, who still thinks he's about to get his balls chopped off.
It's like, yes, Is it really still that hard?
I thought there would be like a laser by now.
You know, he won his way back into my heart
if this Asa Martin fiasco by saying
that there's going to be a balls voyage party.
I was like, I respect that.
It wasn't a full success, but I appreciate,
I appreciate the sentiment behind that pun.
Yeah, especially when the cake that came out was for her birthday, and it was like a fucking fire work on top of it.
It's like, don't tell me I'm about to get my nuts cut off when like you're bringing out some firecracker.
You know, it's like, leave the guy alone.
He just gave you two cars, five things from Cartier, you know, and got you away
from your kids for the day. Like, geez, even till tomorrow.
And then she's like, push my face in the cake. I was like, that's a strange request. I
mean, I know people like at wedding, as they do that, which is by the way, one of my
least favorite traditions was like, oh, we're married. Let's put in my, let's put our hands in this $5,000 cake and ruin it. Yeah. But like, it's not for birthday.
Well, start the abuse off with fun. I am, I'm, I don't know what happened, Ronnie. I have entered a
state. I have entered a state and I have issues with everything right now because, you know,
why we're talking about this episode, Like we're very patient people, okay?
We love whatever we're, well,
we try to love whatever we're covering,
but we both genuinely love this show.
But man, they're making it hard today.
The next scene is time to batch.
Sitting with Eddie and some fucking restaurant.
And top us, Bouch.
Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Bouch. She's watching him while he orders. Top of that
She's watching him while he orders means like Shoshito peppers
Kalamari and Savi which I wrote down just because I'm like that's how to stay thin
It's also gonna be would have been the name of their four daughters if they have her had children Shoshito peppers Kalamari and Savi
Batsido. Batsh. Can we have some Chichito better and some Batsh-Mari and Batsh-Micha, please?
He's like, we'll have some Edimami.
Why does the old Edimami have to be about you?
No, it's called Edimami. It's not saying I want Edimami for me.
Oh, sorry. Batcha mama.
Pat.
It's a batcha mama.
Is this lasagna come with a batcha, Mel sauce? Batch.
So I've, I've really made an effort this year to come into even though I think Tamer's,
you know, an awful human being.
And I've ranted and raped.
I'm like, you know what, look,
if she's gonna stick with this whole like,
I'm a nice Christian thing now,
then okay, all learn to do what we always want,
which is to just start with a fairly new slate, right?
But God, she's just fucking with me too much to believe it,
because he's like, you know what, we came here, babe?
I wanted you to take you to Spain again.
And she's like, oh, God, that sounds kind of bad.
And then he's really romantic.
And then she starts doing this whole victim thing.
And I'm like, yeah.
By the way, can you believe that at least been around for eight years already?
I feel like he was like five years ago.
I can't believe it's been eight.
That's crazy.
It's on the reason I can tell is because he looks like a president.
You know how they say like once you've been in something eight years, you've aged like 50 or
whatever. And he looks great to me wrong, but his eyes, I mean his eyes are like literally half
closed now. Yeah, he definitely, he got the presidential aging syndrome for sure after being on this show. Well accomplishing nothing. Sounds about right.
Well, he built a,
he built a questionable infrastructure
in his cut fitness studio, work floors.
Yeah, and he's also decided to start kind of showcasing Arizona
as much as he used to.
Yeah, so he loves spending all his time with her.
He's like, I love working with you and eating with you and sleeping with you,
all this stuff. And then so now Tamra goes into victim mode,
because she is still really bummed that her mom did not come see her at her
gala. That was held at like the back room of, you know,
Benihana or wherever it was. So if you remember, the gala was for victims of...
Erasure. Not the band, but the act of being erased
by people like children who are like,
well, I'm here, where's the racer?
I have something to tell them off the map.
I actually really like Erasure because I really
understand that song
a little respect. Asian, David, why don't you give me a little respect?
Oh, I don't know any racer songs. Isn't that terrible? I can't even play around with you.
I can't help but feel like David has found me, has been on me up in some chains of love.
but feel like David has been me up in some chains of love.
David, didn't you say you love me?
David.
How can I explain when there are a few things to explain? David, David can explain things for me.
David.
Wow, there's also the erasure party.
Fill us with fire. huh, erasure?
Oh, there goes Erasure.
Miss Judgy Band.
My body's a wonderland, not anymore.
Thanks for bringing up wonderland again, Erasure.
Oh, Lamor.
That's what I wish David would say to me.
Is that I have to go turn to Erasure to hear those words?
I say, I say David would say to me said I have to go turn to a racer to hear those words. I say I say I say
Did she did she suddenly turn into that?
What's his name was that cartoon? Oh
I say what's his name again. Oh, yeah, you're 70 Sam right or wait not you say many Sam the big reaster right yeah, I say I say I say I want I want to say like Bailey something
He's basically played by Thomas Ravennell and JD at the same time
Okay, so back to this exciting scene Oh, sir. Ah. Oh. Um, okay.
So, back to this exciting scene.
Uh, she's like, my mom like, shush, I know, but I bat slide.
I cord leg one.
Fog horn leg horn.
Oh, yeah.
He plays the president in House of Cards.
He's really good.
Really good to go.
Anyway, so she's like, after all all this time it's been three and a
Batch years of dealing with this eraser shed.
My mom hasn't even tried to call Sydney or help.
Like if Eva was doing that to Ryan, I wouldn't give up.
I'd be like, Eva batch batch batch batch ever ever
ever it's like sudden death okay it's like they just walk out the door you never see it again
and I know I'm supposed to feel super bad for Tamra I know because I kind of do pardon me
does I do I actually do feel bad I genuinely feel bad about the situation but the way I can't
feel bad about it is because she or the reason I can't feel bad about it is because then
She does this whole thing where she takes no responsibility
Eddie goes
Well, it's nothing you did because you know
He knows how to keep his marriage to this monster going and she goes well
You know, I don't know and I was like oh my gosh, she's gonna take responsibility press pause call everyone you know
She's like well the truth is she left for months after we got married
Mike, oh, okay, so Sadie's fault now. I mean come on
Well, I think that I mean I actually think what she was saying was was not crazy
She basically was saying, I got married,
and I was so self-absorbed in that.
I even have my own spin-off TV show
that I wasn't giving her the attention
that she needed and now she hates me.
So I actually think she was taking more responsibility
than you may be giving her credit for.
Well, she doesn't in a way of saying like,
maybe I was just so wrapped up in my fairytale life or whatever.
Yeah.
That she couldn't, I don't know, it implies like the kid was just mad about the divorce
and took sides when that wasn't really the case.
At least, look, there's two sides to every story.
You can just read about Sidney's if you want to solve over the damn internet by now.
And then there's cameras.
And Sidney is definitely Tamar's child
where she can come out and be totally vicious
and break a person down.
So, you know, I get that there's that relationship
and I don't understand.
I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I've only read a little bit about it
because the truth is outside of this show,
I don't only care about the gossip about Sydney and Tamar,
like it's to me, it's like, it's like a little too real and I kind of feel bad about that situation and I don't want care about the gossip about Sydney and Tamer. Like it's to me, it's like, it's like a little too real
and I kind of feel bad about that situation
and I don't want to excite.
But from what I've read from Sydney is that like,
she basically has said, you know,
I tried to mend fences.
My mom, I said, just don't bring it up on the TV.
I don't want to be on TV.
And then Tamer, he's bringing it up on TV.
So that's what she's saying her issue is.
So I was doing some of the recent stuff.
And then Gretchen's like commenting like,
Oh dear,
it's so hard when monsters come out from under the bed and try and ruin your life.
I know the feeling.
Call if you want to talk.
And Tamer, it's like, listen, here you stupid batch.
Kill you, you stupid bat. Kill you. Crashed.
And so it's like Facebook wars in the comment section of these
things between Brett and Tamra. And it's like, Oh, good.
Yeah, actually more interesting than what's happening on the show.
But it is gross. And my only point coming back to all of this is
you're it's not just because you got married like shit that you need to take
responsibility for. I'm sure it's so much bigger you got married. Like shit that you need to take responsibility for.
I'm sure it's so much bigger than that.
And you guys can talk, but just it's just tamarins.
Like how she makes it like,
well, I was so happy that maybe she just like,
couldn't be happy for her feelings
that I finally found happiness.
I don't know if she words it in a way that just grosses me out.
But so I mean, I definitely
this is a point that I'm going to circle back to later in this recap, but you know, my
feeling is this, I mean, I don't even know what I don't know what Sydney is like at all,
but what I would imagine is she's about like 1819.
She's like a teenager whose parents got divorced and you know and you know
Simon is like a piece of work to and you know she probably was poisoned against her mom and
Even though now Simon and Tamra are better. It's probably like the damage is done
And she's just like probably a sorely teenager right now who's just like
About everything and that's just like you know, that's what teenagers do. I'm not saying it's fun or even acceptable
It's just a certain extent like, you know, that's what teenagers do. I'm not saying it's fun, or even acceptable, it's just a certain extent.
But, you know, that's how teenagers do.
So, it's like, to me, it doesn't seem to be a huge amount
of mystery around it, but then again, I'm also talking
in a very uninformed place, where I'm only
yearning to Amricide, and I'm, you know, taking,
all my input is from casually skimming these things
from Sydney and Gretchen and Tamra.
So who knows?
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
But right now it's just like, okay, Tamra.
She's like, oh, my husband's obsessed with me.
We're going to span.
And eventually that bitch will have to get over
and I happen to have to.
Or whatever.
Next up is Kelly and her husband. Michael. Now this is a relationship I can get behind.
Yes. I think it's hilarious. Yeah, she's like they get they got to some restaurant and she's like
all right we're gonna have the lobster mac and cheese, the big ricotta, we're gonna have the lobster
with the ricotta, the mac and cheese with with cheddar cheese on top of that. We'll have the cheese curds that are like on a bed of blopster and we'll have mac and cheese
with some ricotta, the curds on top of that.
Um, yeah, this, this chick and she's yelling because they're in the noise you've stressed
for whenever.
So it's been worth.
It's like, like her mouth isn't big enough already.
She's like,
Mopster mac and cheese.
It's like cheese lady.
And he's like, can we just get like a salad or something
smaller? Because she wanted to top a style and she just ignores him and then orders without
asking him one thing like to give him no choice. Yes. So she's like, so it's going to be
your 60th birthday. And he's like, can we just call it the 50th? And she tells us at first,
you know, the age difference wasn't that big of a deal. But like now he's like, can we just call it the 50th? And she tells us at first, you know,
the age difference wasn't that big of a deal.
But like now he's an old man.
And I'm like, he just wants to sit there like my fucking mom, you know.
Yeah, she's like, you're old.
And, um, yes.
So now she goes, you should go see the senior center.
I took my mom to and his face lit up.
And he's like, is it nice?
He waited. Can I nice? He waited.
Get excited.
He did.
And then she was like, you know, now I understand Shannon because I know I'm having the same issues in my
marriage.
I was like, maybe not quite the same issues, but yeah,
Samson's husband was willing to go out just not with her.
So anyway, we then, speaking of Shannon, we then go over to Shannon
in her kitchen cooking a low calorie meal, chicken and buttermilk.
And then David's like, um, dear, is that really low calorie with buttermilk?
She's like, well, a lot of people say that if you're going to cook with dairy,
buttermilk is the best for you.
There's a lot of people say it.
People say it.
What you, what you like a shot a lot of people say it, people say it. What's
you, what's you like a shot of? Um, coconut oil, David? Very good. How else will be cooking
with some lard and some duck fat? It's supposed to be very good. You know, we're out of
popsicles, so I'm looking to stick a butter, which I hear that if organic is actually quite
healthy. I've actually put some marshmallow fluff in the salad.
I've heard from some people that that's also very low calorie.
I think it's supposed to be good for you.
And he's looking at her like that's exactly what she's saying.
He's like, er, so he just like walks away from her, goes into a cup and pulls out some
chips and then chan is like, ass, he goes for the chips.
There he goes. goes for the chips. There he goes.
Going for the chips.
Here lies Chatton Bador killed by Chips Fomo killed by the
quench of the chip.
Yeah, she looks at him as if every bite of chip is a
massive betrayal.
It's like worse than his affair.
She did.
Uh, uh, uh. It's like worse than his affair. She did. She's like, maa. Mm-hmm.
Uh.
And I think that lockshed right a song about this.
She tells him.
I need for myself to eat less, David.
And he's like, well, I need chips, dear.
And then he's stares her, they stare each other in the eyes.
Her face is shaking like she's going to start crying
or, you know, like calling Dr. Moon,
like she's about to have a breakdown.
And he's just staring at her with those David eyes,
like just cold, like, dear.
Like, do you really wanna fight me on this dear?
Do you really wanna fight me?
And she's like, after she's singing me into a smile.
I can't tell you how frustrating it is when you try to serve a healthy dinner and your
husband comes in and tries to cram his face as many chips as possible before dinner gets
out of the table.
But you know that's just the way dinner goes when you're so happy.
Happy family, happy dinner, happy meal, happy dinner, happy meal, happy dinner. Happy meal. I'm gonna call my God. I'm gonna say happy meal.
You know, I've been on so many diets, some for some not over the course of my life.
I get Shannon's struggle.
But girl, everyone ain't on your diet.
The rest of your family is fine.
Make yourself the healthy dinner and let them just eat pizza.
You need to be able to sit there and not freak out with someone needs a chip, okay? It's like a be part of this struggle. We thought it was
gonna be this new drama with Shannon and her husband this year because things
seem so weird, weird over there. And it is. And it's about chips. It's like,
hands in the air. I just threw my hands in the air. So she feeds their all
at family dinner. You know, everyone sits down for dinner. She's like, this meal is 300 and easy calories.
I believe those 383 calories. Just to be just to be you know, when the kids are looking
at her, like, girl, and they're trying to heat heat it and then one of the kids just puts her hands up and she goes I'm not
Well, she was feeding the dog no cuz oh
I'm just feeling like I can't I can't with this anymore
No, she's Adeline was feeding the dog and then Chan goes Adeline and she goes I'm not I'm not
What does that mean messy? I'm not what is that mean?
13 year old I'm not can mean so many different things can't I think I'm not proud of my that mean? Missed 13-year-old? I'm not can mean so many different things. Can't you take it?
I'm I'm not proud of my mother. Is that what yours?
I see with this fat mother. Is that what you're seeing out on your
You don't want to be doing me anymore? I'm not
Gonna respect the 300-may-the-three calorie dinner that my mother so lovingly made while my father sat there and put
dinner that my mother so lovingly made while my father sat there and put single chips into his mouth making eye contact seeing his wife about to have a nervous breakdown.
Is that what you mean by I not?
So then Shannon reveals that she's going to be opening up a restaurant with the president
of Z Pizza, which is I don't know how big Z Pizza is. It's like a local chain up here in LA, I don't know how big it
is outside of LA. It's gonna be Pizza's biggest a couch! That's the Z Gallery beer.
These pizzas are gonna have a zebra pattern on them and you might be able to get lampshades too!
No, that's still Z-Gallery.
Huh?
I've always dreamed of having a healthy couch.
That's the man that a healthy...
No, oh, I'm just gonna talk to the talk about Z-Gallery.
Well, David, stop stepping in my way, okay?
I'm gonna have a restaurant where couches can lose weight.
Okay, that's it.
I just need just a board, David.
So she is going to be... I've always had this dream of opening up a healthy restaurant.
So she's talking about it and she's like, you know what, David? This is a very unique concept. Affordable, healthy eating, very unique. I'm like, ooh. Have you heard of Wabah Grill?
No.
Yeah.
And she's like, everything will be organic and very good.
Look, and I'm like, you know that shit goes down in like two days, right?
That's the way there aren't that many of those restaurants around.
You know that right, Chairman?
And he's like, well, maybe Orange County.
Maybe it's like a novelty in Orange County.
Well, you know, she's like, I'm sorry, I forgot what I was going to say.
Well, Shannon says the profit margins may not be high.
And David's like, well dear, you have to have profitability to sustain yourself and the
music gets really tense.
Like, how dare you say that?
How dare you say that?
I can't sustain myself.
Are you talking about my eating?
Are you talking about sustainability?
Are you saying I'm not getting sustainable fish?
Because I really have a fish right now.
I'm so well.
Wow. David. David called me unsustainable this week.
He says our marriage is unsustainable. I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm having 40 to 50 negative thoughts per day.
And I can sustain myself on that, if he can't I don't know.
And she says, well you know it's something I've been wanting to do you know since they were kids right kids right I've always talked about it healthy healthy restaurant right kids and they're like
they're just looking at her like oh god can we leave the table before your head pops off please
it or like, oh god, can we leave the table before your head pops off? Please.
I get, I, he thinks I'm a loco.
He, you don't have a lot of faith in me, do you, David?
No.
It's like, yes, dear, I have faith.
David?
David?
How much faith do you have, David?
30 to 40 faithful thoughts about me, David?
David.
Well, like you raise your one thing.
Faith, faith, faith.
You gotta have faith, faith, faith.
That was George Michael the heir, and he's dead.
Oh God!
David said our relationship is dead.
Oh, David, well, that's a good, you know, that's a good, you know.
That's a good, you know, that's a good, you know, so, David, I hear you calling.
Oh baby, please give a little respect to me David!
David just stabbed himself in the temple.
Oh there goes Shannon, Senior Ratio again.
I just wished that David could encourage me, the way I encouraged him when he was first
starting. For example, I'd stare at him until he woke up and then I'd say, were you
thinking about me, David? What were you dreaming? I dreamt about you. Did you see me in the
dream? What was I wearing? David, where are you walking away? David, get back into this
bed, David! Like that, you know. You know, my next note says,
Tamer at home with a banana batch.
She's like,
Ha, spotted banana batch.
You intend to be my mom and all pretend to be me.
You're a batch.
You know, right?
That's where you stink quacks.
You don't know how to communicate, right? right spotted mom. I always keep bananas around her
Mommy and my favorite band banana ramah batch. Why does it break up? Why I've been erased from banana ramah's band group.
It is a cool summer batch. She has those tamarara squinty possum eyes where she's like I'm gonna be evil and while I do it I'm gonna
eat peanut butter and bananas. Because I could be healthy well I'm evil right Shannon oh no
she's eating match potatoes get that's what she calls and the voice she gets voice mail it's like
hi Sandy from work and just leave a message, you know, got to do stuff.
And if this is Tamra, you've been erased.
I mean, by the call it blocking on these phones or whatever.
So whoever gave you my number, just telling me to screw you, buddy.
Mom, that is so cruel that you have a ratio as your ringtone so cruel
she probably does I would
girl I mean I would just in general because I love it ratio
I would have tamar as you raise your speech where she's like I'm gonna punch them in the throat batch. Yeah, okay. That's my ringtone. Okay. So Sandy calls back. She's like,
hi, it's me, your mom. Sandy, I'm calling from work. I'm on a break. So, you
know, make a quick or whatever. Team Ra. Team Ra.
Hey, right, team Ra. What you got for me?
She's like, well, batch, you didn't come to my gala, batch. Let me tell you
about it.
And that's when Sandy starts basically.
It's actually really sad, Sandy is like.
She's like, I was really looking forward to the egg rolls.
You know how much I love a lettuce cap.
It was too hard.
It was too hard.
I just couldn't.
It's almost worse than a death.
A party with a bunch of raised people talk about finding someone to date finally.
So sad though. It was sad though. She's she just basically is like, I can go.
This thing is so hard on me. It's like a death. It's like a death.
Damn, Ron. You lift me up and you chop me down, it's like a death, dam, run,
and you blip me up and you chop me down.
Like that's tamer for you.
So then Tamer is saying how she didn't talk to her dad
for 10 years and she's like, you know,
divorced, divorced is Troy's family's batch.
But I also, I wonder like, I mean, that sucks.
And it sucks that this pattern has continued.
But I wonder like, like knowing how she treated her dad,
maybe like, I wonder if she's able to bring, like,
get any perspective from that.
Like, so she sort of understands what's
needs going through and sort of like, okay, give her,
like, you know, I hope that she can do that.
Well, she seems to be saying that.
I mean, she's saying, I did the same thing
to my dad and it's karma, you know?
So, you know, I mean, look, I feel like Tamara, okay,
whatever you're doing, it's worked.
Like, I kind of feel things and it makes me feel weird.
So I'd rather just like, yeah, I wanna think of Tamara.
I'm just like pure evil and it's weird
to feel sympathy for her and like
empathy and understand, understand where
she's coming from. It's so weird. It's
weird. I don't like it. I would rather her
be the possible on top of the trash can
on the rainy day. They're teasing me for
trying to throw away Domino's box, you
know? But the thing is that when you
throw away the Domino's box, the
possums actually happy. So the hiss is that when you throw away the dominoes box the possums actually happy so the hiss is happiness
It's like they're dumb. They don't know that you're actually trying to help them like
Tamara
So over at Lidius party. Oh in case you guys were wondering what sushi Roku's happening
Like what's going on is sushi Roku night. Let's go over there. She's
like, we want to give everyone the
experience of being a noble man. Yeah, which
apparently involves Doug slowly hugging you
over and over again. You know, he's a very slow
hugger. He's a very slow talker, low talker,
slow hugger. Yeah, watch the way he hugs. He sort of lifts his hands up, but then he has a very slow approach
You'll see slow hugger
Well, you have to be cautious after being married to someone with such herky jerky arms for so long
I know like can I hug you? I'm coming in. Oh, okay
Well, yeah, that's why he's slow because he's used like he's like he can't he's whiffed so many times with those with her flapping arms that he knows okay, don't do don't do anything
sudden just sort of slowly wrap around and I got her locked in.
He's like remember that time I almost lost an eye.
Doing it slowly.
He's hiking like he's putting a blanket over a struggling like stray.
Exactly.
He's like trapping a bear or a raccoon or like, all right, like everyone.
So everybody starts to arrive and Jim says hi to him and he's like, I was just admiring how thick your magazine was.
Thanks, thinner. Bratium, thanks.
So Tamra with this tar, oh yeah, Tamra brings in the taro ponytails.
So we know something bad's gonna happen.
And Shannon's like, I, all I want to do
is drink a cocktail, hopefully with food in it,
possibly olives with blue tits.
God, there's a whole bowl of chips over there.
Hmm.
How mean can Lydia be?
I thought we were on a good foot.
Fitting.
Fitting.
Fitting.
Fitting.
Fitting.
I'm too hungry to say my words properly, David.
David?
Yeah, this is where she starts her like, well, gosh, I have not had anything today.
I am starving!
I wish I had known that there was,
this was such a small, you know,
small little face, a little piece of swordfish on a tray.
And I am starving to death.
That is what's happening right now.
Am I able to sustain myself with this amount of calories?
No, no, no. I haven't eaten since noon. Did I have anything? I haven't eaten, no, no.
Have I, after 12 o'clock today, noon? No. I haven't eaten since that eclipse last year. So now Doug gives a speech. Peggy and Diko show up. We love seeing a photo in the magazine.
So then Tamra and Megan are talking,
and Tamra sort of mentions Peggy's double misectomy
because Megan had some incident with Peggy in the bathroom
where Peggy was like, watch out for my bris,
and then Megan's like, huh!
She's like, nevermind.
She goes, oh, you don't know.
And Megan's like, no, what?
Nevermind, it's my con. Peggy has to make it the most dramatic thing ever, what? She never mind. That's what I'm talking about.
Peggy has to make it the most dramatic thing ever, you know, every time.
She's like, what is she talking about?
Time was like, what's she hasn't told me about?
She's just like told everybody else.
She had double sex makes like cancer or something.
I'm like, I don't know.
And then Megan goes, did she have breast cancer?
And I was like, uh-oh.
No, Megan.
She had brain cancer.
We have, no, but we, the moment She had brain cancer. She had brain cancer.
No, but we, the moment when Megan starts asking questions about cancer, the beast has
been summoned and her fingers crossed.
She's back.
And Bravo too, because Megan is thinking what a lot of us were thinking in the beginning,
which was like, wait, did she have cancer?
Or she's like, well, I don't know, like, gene, like something, I don't know.
She goes, well, yeah, but my, you know, like, some people have cancer.
She's like, yeah, we know.
So now it's going to become a mystery.
Like, why did you get your boobs locked off?
And we've seen it on Twitter, which is how we know it's going to happen, because she
put Megan posted a few weeks ago at the beginning beginning like, I'm sorry, but it's
already have sympathy when my mom had breast cancer. And we all thought she didn't understand
what sympathy meant because I figured it was a typo like, it's hard for me not to have sympathy
because my mom had cancer. No, she meant it. How she wrote it. Yeah.
So Vicki shows up and you know, there's like, you know, a nice
whole, it's not like a montage, but we see a lot of scenes of Vicki, um, ignoring Tamra and Shannon
and vice versa. And the music's tense. Like they're in a cocktail party together, but they're not
talking. Tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun And Tamra is ready and Vicki's afraid that they're gonna come
And Vicki's wearing leather and lace, which I don't know why I find it so funny
But I like that she comes all bad ass and she's like
You know, it's like everywhere I go, it's like shatter at tabra
Follow me around like the lants
Just little tidgets
Follow me around
To be fair, they were at the party before you but that's mine and you're like the
Band you like the big slice of watermelon tip like a whole line of ants is carrying in a cartoon
You're yeah, you're like a slice of watermelon that has low self-esteem and takes itself to the ant hill just so you can get the attention
Exactly the only way this good work is if you're the mess that the answer flocking to. Oh, actually that works. Yeah, that works. So then Vicki
Vicki is talking to Lydia about the situation and you know, because I think it lady says that you say hi to them and she's like, no, she's like I said bye to them last time. I'm not gonna play a game. I'm not playing a game. I'm like you by you
Remembering that you were the one to say bye last time.'s the game you're playing the game you know it's their surf
So there you go. I'm not gonna play a game
It's the default like literally like they
Like they served it incorrectly and they hit the they hit the net, but let's not dwell on it, okay
Don't say love we're not tied I'm. I'm winning in this not game, OK?
You know, it didn't die our conversation's very base.
And she goes, I'm still very hurt by what she did to me.
OK?
And then when you say she's going to have some excuse,
she's going to go on and out.
And I can't get it yet.
But I promise you by the end of the season I will have Vicki's weird muppet
Random and flexor I can my Vicki's all messed up this season
I've not been able to do a proper Vicki at all. I'm like
Well, I've never done a proper Vicki, but God I keep met
Hearing these
It's really hard to do way you do the other
Yeah, when you exactly it's really hard to do where you do eat the other Pedra. Yeah, when she's exactly weird because it's one thing to do at Midwest accent
But it's another to do a screaming Midwest accent. It's really hard. Yeah, it's one thing to be like all the way
You know, but it's not gonna be like oh you know, I guess I sort of did that
But yeah, I think that didn't sound like Vicky though. Just sounded like a crazy person. Well, yeah, Vicky's screaming, you know
That that's hard to do.
But she's really hurt.
I have to step with multiple paydays.
Yeah.
Still one of my favorite Vicki, it is ski, it is ski outfit.
Okay, so Lydia's like, but you guys were like sisters in the Tamara family, okay?
Yeah.
Not like regular ones.
These bitches have been trying to erase each other for years, okay? Yeah
Yeah, exactly so
Yeah, so Lydia is like she's just some mad that they're not friends like because they're like
It's thinking tamar it brings a tear to her eye that they're not friends
So she's gonna she is going to try to bring them together which I
Mean god bless her. It's never gonna work
No, it's not gonna work.
Um, so Tamara, uh, she's talking to Peggy and Diko and Tamara's got those evil eyes.
And she's also got that eyeliner.
Like when Tamara comes with that eyeliner, watch a fuck out, okay.
She's ready to attack you.
So Diko's like, that's her version of a clip's glasses.
She's like, all right, batch.
We're putting these down to protect my eyes.
Diko's like, have we talked about reams?
Oh my God, who told you that about Eddie?
God damn it, Vicki.
Vicki again, Vicki's like, no for your car.
Oh, so Vicki's behind, she's like, you know, I gotta go.
I've got drunk, but these girls are baggy me
and I'm getting dirty look so I'm out.
I'm out. I'm out.
Vicky out. Vicky out.
You're served, Chambera.
I'm out.
So then Shannon's like, well, you know what?
It doesn't matter to me that Vicky left early
because I said I want what I wanted to say
and I'm done with her.
I'm done. I don't meet her. Mm-hmm.
David.
Bye.
No, that's what she said.
Yeah, she's like, bye.
Vicki's gone faster than that little tiny pot of sea bass I was passed after not eating all day long.
I just wish I had more than half a skewer of sea bass and just a little bit more.
So literally, get some sea bass or some
patigotian toothpick.
Or like I like to call it these days, see,
ask since my ass is as big as a sea.
I hate myself. I'm just going to cry in the bathroom.
Anybody want to come? Anybody?
David. David.
David.
Are they seeing the sea level is rising? Because I went waiting in the beach, David? That's the favorite!
Um, let's see here. So Lidian Tamer, up next, and Lidia's like,
I talked to Vicky, she'd be open to meeting. And Tamer's like, oh my god, I love that so much. Batch and hug, Sarah.
It's like, yeah, it's so naive.
Like, Lily just doesn't understand.
But like, in my head, Vika's down.
So this is where I wanted to circle back to.
Remember before I said I'm going to circle back
to the Erasier thing in the recap?
Yeah.
It's no mistake that the editors, you know,
front loaded this episode with Tamer going through her
her erasure issue because here she is.
One half the episode talking about how, you know,
her daughter won't talk to her.
It sucks that, you know, that they can't move on and all this
stuff and how painful it is.
And then, she or it is at the other part of the episode,
she refuses to talk to Vicki, she's not gonna talk.
She doesn't want to move on.
She's that much she's need to say, she's hurt all this stuff. I'm like you realize what
you're doing, you have erased Vicki. Vicki is your mother and you have erased her.
Yeah, you wonder where the pattern comes from. I'm not even trying to be like snarky or mean.
It's like it's right here on display. You're showing it on display,
on display. Yep. And it's also been and it's like groupy racer because she's trying to get
everyone to do it, you know. And that's yeah, that scorched earth policy is she's always had it.
And it's killing the fucking show. I mean, they did it last year too, where they all teamed up to
try and get certain people off did not work. They look entertaining. Yeah, it worked last year too, where they all teamed up to try and get certain people off did not work. They looked like they're entertaining.
It worked last year because it was a reaction to the season before, but this is just a continuation.
Yeah.
And it's, you can't have a fight where you're just going to try and do your own scenes with
shaman.
We saw that workout last week with your like little party instead of the sipin or whatever
party they ignored last week to just hang out together.
And it was literally them sitting there chewing on crackers awkwardly
and staring at each other like, now what do we do?
Yeah, like this is winning really?
Yeah, that was for the, that was, I believe that was for Peggy's
Porsche.
And the Ferrari of a Lamborghini,
where she pulled the sheet off and they're like,
good job Peggy.
Uh-huh.
So yeah, Tamara starts her whole shit.
I've talked to my badge badge.
She's talking about my house.
But my, ah!
And then he's like, oh well, you have a story.
She has a story.
I have a story.
We can put all the stories together.
Oh my God, please stop pitching this like a Bible book, okay?
And then Shannon walks over and she's like,
Oh, what's up? What's going on?
Any sea bass over here?
And Tamara's like, hi, Batch.
We were just talking about how Vicki would like to
meet with me. And then Shannon was like,
Oh, but not with me.
Is that because I'm fat?
And Lydia's like, that bitch got my head off. But not with me is it because I'm fat?
Lydia's like that bitch cut my head off last time she's Kuku. I'm not even gonna start there You know and then she tells Shannon. Um, well nervous talking about it with you check. Oh
Come on, that was just
Was a fun night was That was crazy! I just...
I don't have to worry.
I mean, look at me!
Do they look like someone you need to be worried about?
Like, I'm like the paragraph of being...
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
It's so happy!
If you're not gonna worry, maybe it'd be...
Because I'm gonna die of hunger, okay?
Ha! Ha!
I shouldn't have been so surprised.
I should have been so surprised. I should have been so surprised. I should have been so surprised. I should have die of hunger. Okay. I shouldn't have survived on a body of sea bass alone.
Okay.
Listen, I think you'd also flip your lid
if you've only had half a seabass all day long too.
Miss Twiggy face.
Ugh.
That guy's...
Um.
So Peggy shows up.
So fun.
Peggy jumps in, she's like,
hello, I'm in the cast too now, remember?
So then Peggy's like, what are you talking about?
Is it about Coco playing ball indoors? I know, so terrible.
Yeah.
Did he make a basket?
Did he make a horse?
Shall we wait for it to die and kick it together?
Our husband's all beaten us today, It is Friday. Yes, joke.
Joking culture.
So...
Oh, not funny!
Peggy, thank you.
Can you only beat me with tortilla chips that he eats?
It's not a physical beating.
It's just a...
just a hunger beating.
So, let's see.
So, Tamara's...
Yeah, Tamara basically agrees, right?
She's going to do it.
But she's talking about Tategi about, because Tategi is like, you guys have to move on.
And Tamera's like, have bats, she attacked my marriage, she attacked my husband, she attacked her marriage, her husband.
Tategi's like, it's not worth it.
She dwelling on it. And that's honestly, do you want to be
friends with me? Are you kidding me about? Do you want to be a fan? And she throws her
hands up. But I have to say that right before this, when before they even talked about it,
Peggy approaches her and she's like, oh my god, all these ladies. And Peggy goes, yes,
did you see what I did to Megan?
Glipp, like she showed her the finger on her lips and
Tamragas
Well, it looks like you want to say something just say it
So she tells her to just say it and then Peggy does just say it and Tamrag's like, are you kidding?
That's yeah her full on like Ron Pearlman Beauty and the Beast Mullet was shaking like crazy.
When Tamra has eyes like that, just stay away from her because she's gonna fight with someone and now Vicky's gone and they're all fun.
And when Tamra doesn't get to fight, oh my god.
Yeah, so Peggy's like, just move on.
It's hot for- don't rehash it. Let it go. Let it go.
Queen Elsa, let it go.
I don't know her story.
She's like, well, you should have a lot of say about a batch.
She's like, I'm just discussing with you.
You are attacking that.
I want you to be comfortable.
Oh, really?
What do you want me to do to be comfortable about batch?
She's like, be happy.
I wrote down this whole thing I was crying up.
But this is the way it was.
It was like this. It was. It was nuts. And Tamar was like thing I was crying. But this is the way it was. It was like this.
It was nuts.
And Tamara was like, I am a habit.
But like, just I hit Becca, but I'm like, I'm a habit.
I feel bad for you.
I feel bad for her.
Why have you felt bad for her, bad?
Maybe she wants friends.
She has my number.
And you have her number.
Did I mention Megan broke my iPhone when she called me?
It made me suicide.
And then Tamra is like, you'll get your turn, okay?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Which is also probably true.
Yeah, that was very true.
It is very true earlier, you know.
So get her turn.
She will.
She will get her turn.
But Peggy is just sort of like, why are you, this seems so stupid.
Why are you guys fighting right now?
And you're about your trash, you're all trash.
I got drinks! Come on! Just have some drinks!
She's like, please take, take Diko's, he will go get another drink.
Do it. He doesn't like this drink anyway because he's not have black halfway.
And then Sam and Tamer, Tamer goes over the chance. She's like, sitting anywhere because he's not have black halfway.
And then Sam and Tamer goes over to Sam. She's like, thank you for being honest,
found a good friend and a best friend.
Bitch.
She's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like,
she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, hardest and you're in a confident pal bitch. I think it was confident. I don't want to correct you.
And if you're through a party and invited everyone you know, you would see the biggest
secure of sea bass would be for me and the cut-attached would say, I'll be hiding behind this hot dog.
But when you are ready to apologize. That's it. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da that she does that when she walks into her house. She hasn't established shot in her life.
I'll bet she walks in there and she's just like the the tears theme song to herself.
Wow, where everybody knows your name I can get for. I guess I'm warm.
Not quite nice. I don't like to think that this is the norm, but I'm still the norm now.
It's like norm watching. It's like norm marrying Sam. Watching him go live his life. Okay, well, I just sit here. You think I like being Nell Carter and my Gimia break fan fiction?
I don't. I will vacuum you right out of that aquarium, Missy. David makes me feel like dry fish and empty nests.
It's not very kind.
Ooh.
So, Shannon's, I mean, Tamer's piss.
She didn't get to yell it, uh, uh, Vicki.
And then she tried to, yeah, and then she tried to yell it,
Peggy, and Peggy wasn't going to have it.
She's not going to fight with her.
She's got no, you know, dog in that fight or whatever.
So now Tamer Tamer's piss and this drink tray is next to her and it's a bus boy who's been picking up drinks
Tamer goes to it and takes a drink off and I don't think it was the same drink. I think Tamer was so mad that she just picked a drink off
It was just reminiscent of my one of my favorite scenes in Blitz over Broadway, which is
like, I have too much, he needs extra dry.
Oh, you know exactly what I want.
Okay, make it three.
So they get in the car and they're so pissed.
And now Tamer has another drink.
This one's pink.
Like, Tamer really came out to get drunk and rumbled tonight.
Nobody helped her. So now she's yelling at Shannon it's like what the
fuck did she just say that I'm like whoa she's like she has a bitch
ass
you don't know me Batch and you don't know
big gumball said Batch Batch.
Yes, and then she goes low as Tamrit does.
Every time she lets the lid off her,
a little good Christian.
She's like, wouldn't you think a woman with breast cancer
would like be more fended and she's like,
whoa, whoa, no wonder Vicky glums onto her.
She can finally know someone with cancer.
Yeah. Friends with a woman who lies about, Wonderficking Lambs on to her, she can finally know someone with cancer! Aaaaah! Yeah!
Friends with a woman who vites about...
I'll tell you one thing, I certainly won't be making referrals to City of Hope, but I
will be looking for a Bethanyah Hope.
I funded an almost cancer charity called City of...
Nope! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha charity called city of nope
See nope we could just take everyone who pretends to have cancer put them on a room together and
Make them eat red M&Ms until they can move to city of hope
My goodness that was amazing. Oh guys that brings us to the end of the Real Housewives of Olms Canyon. Oh yeah, what an episode.
So guess what, we're back tomorrow to discuss.
What are we discussing tomorrow?
Oh, Real Housewives of Dallas.
Mimicur.
Mimicur.
Oh by the way, and Leanne Lachin, I actually love for Leanne Lachin.
She was fully having her crapppins moment the other day.
So you know what God bless her. Yeah, we'll talk about it on that show because that shit was so
fun. We were so excited. Yeah. Everyone, we love you. Thanks for everything you do for us for being
thank you for being our friends. Everybody, first of all. Yeah. Also, you know, the drill, come to
the shows, all that good stuff. And if you do want to talk to other people coming to the live show and meet up or make plans or whatever,
we have a private group just for that.
And you can find it on our Facebook page.
Just scroll down a bit and you'll see it.
But Ben, what is a private group called?
It's called, um, watch a crap and live and loving it.
And that's where you can like meet up with, you can like arrange to meet up with other people who are going the shows and
it's also a place where you can vote on make your voice heard if you want us to
come to your city there's a poll that we've pinned to the top of the page just
go there and just say you know we have as we mentioned yesterday we have a
lead on potential venues in Minnesota of all places and also Las Vegas. So if you would see us, if you are, if you would come to a show there, let us know because if we get enough people, then we'll try to make it happen.
Alright, everybody, we'll talk to you later.
Bye.
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us
about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
1dry.com slash survey.