Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Race to the Finish

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

David joins a couples date/self torture race alone as Shannon mourns his romance with her greatest enemy. Some ho named Gym.  ** Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I'm just saying, Kelly Barlow and Christy Dowerty, we love you girls! Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on ye old brawls. I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rosebrick Spachler Podcast and Tierra and with my gorgeous busy to-do list full friend. Then Mantelgir the V-side blog and the banter blender. Hello, bin.

Oh hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good, I just walked in the door to my apartment. I went to sleep last night right after we recorded late night And so I have much more energy today. Oh good. Well, I'm glad you had energy because This Monday was hard for me. I was really dragging and thank God we had orange County on tonight Yeah, I have to say that saws recap. That was the most tired I think I've ever done a recap. I heard you were really tired. I know. Yeah. I'm so sorry everybody, but you know, at least we showed up and did it. Yeah, no, you were, it was actually kind of weird for me. I was like, oh gosh, I have to really, I'm gonna have to like step it up. I'm like, I'm already tired

myself. I don't have Vegas as an excuse. So I have to find inner strength like I didn't I wouldn't expect you to have the inner strength I'm talking like a madman. Oh my goodness. Wow. I just realized this cold brew. I'm drinking right now Ooh We're both cracked out. I went straight to Starbucks Mm-hmm and came here so let's crack it out Let's crack it out You know what I feel like cracking out? I feel like cracking out the fact that we are like four days more live show. So get your tickets and get them

while they last because in four days now we are making history in Los Angeles. Don't miss your chance to be part of it. Yes. We're going to have so much fun. Our to-do list is long, but it's really a fun to-do list. Yeah. It's like Gary wanted me to see Abby and write, you know, get some stuff done. Like, that's a dream life. We, yeah, we have, we're going to come up with the clues for the scavenger hunt. And by the way, just a warning ahead of time, we've never put together scavenger hunt. So if it's sucks, we're sorry. But that's also a spirit of bravo, right? If it sucks, you guys could just walk around talking about how

much we suck while you're laughing with each other. Yeah, exactly. We're not the only ones you get to talk about how much Steph sucks. Yeah. And Ronnie, you have been working your tail off getting some merchandise ready for this show. So, you know, after our New York show, everyone was like, where can I get that glass? Where can I get this? So, Ronnie and Ronnie has been, Ronnie and also Katie at Podcast Spotlight. They have been working up a storm. So people... And Jenna are a little one. And Jenna, partner my cousin, my favorite little sister, Twayne. Yeah. Really, already giving like an Oscar's thank you, like an award speech. I want to thank Jenna, I want to thank Katie, I want to thank Ronnie.

No, but for real, the reason why I'm saying this is because at the end of a New York show, we gave some, some crap and swag to VIP people. And I was like, where can I buy it? Well, it's coming. And it's coming this weekend. It we have t-shirts, right? T-shirts and glasses, right? Right? Right? We have our first ever crap and t-shirts. It has taken us six years to get t-shirts done. Six fucking years, okay? Yeah.

These are first edition t-shirts people and to order t-shirts you have to do, you know, so many different sizes and it really is like having a job getting all this shit done. I'm like, I haven't worked like a real kind of job in a long time because we so much respect for people. Yeah, it's the merchandising is a pain. I mean, the only thing that I did with merchandising was the crap and poetry. And I thought that was going to be the hardest thing. And that was actually incredibly easy to do. So, it's list, list, list, list. Make a list. Talk to people, email, email, email and then things are like, ding, ding, ding, ding, email, email, email. I mean, I'm exhausted. Give me back my fucking life, you know. I know. Seriously, we want to be lazy podcasters again, but anyway, all that good stuff is going to be on sale.

Next week, we return to going back to bed after saying. Yeah, but this is just a long way of saying that like the T-shirts, the glasses, the crap and poetry, it's all going to be on sale at the LA show. The one thing though to keep in mind is that the crap and poetry is a limited run at least for right now. So you can only get it at the live show. And once it's gone, it's gone. So like, we're having new guests and their new friends with ours.

And so they're emailing us like, what is this again? Like, what are we supposed to do? Yeah. And they're so excited to be doing the show and like coming up with stuff to do and talk about, which is nice because I was like, we don't really prep. You just show up and then we, you know, talk shit. And they're like, uh, and did we mention that we're also going to be giving away a flight voucher on Delta courtesy of orbits? I don't think we mentioned that, but we will be. So we're giving away a flight.

We're giving a flight at this show and a pillow from Craig. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah, and we're still trying to find other interesting ways to like add to it. Like try to find some other like celebrity cameos. Who knows what we can actually do. Maybe it might just be like a cardboard cut out of a potato. I don't know. We'll have a big cardboard cut out of Liam Lackin that we're just going to take everywhere we go. Also, remember everybody who's coming to that show. This is a evergreen show and we are going to be recapping the classic episode of scary island. So get your bet on iTunes or wherever you buy your TV shows and watch that episode. Yeah, and if you're wondering why one of our listeners asked why we why are we doing scary island instead of something more current like Orange County the

reason why is we're recording on Saturday and so if we were to recap our Orange County basically what we're doing today if we're wait until Saturday to record it I don't think everyone would be too happy with us So we figured we would just use something that is classic and beloved by all aka scary island So that's the answer that's that if anyone's curious about that That's why we're just decide that and also we get to bring back so many impersonations and like people we haven't made fun of for years Mm-hmm. It's gonna be for at least three days It's gonna be so fun. So at least three days. Yeah. It's going to be so fun.

So anyway, let's get on with this because these shows are so good this week. Real Housewives of Orange County. What did you think? I loved it. I enjoyed it. I didn't love it, but I enjoyed it. I was, you know, I am like Shannon Bedou, and I'm not so into these Spartan races. So the fact that there was so much attention given to it,

it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. Well, I like it because it made Shannon cry. It's like Shannon can use anything as an excuse to cry. Like my guess. That was working out. Do you know how that makes me feel? He loves exercise.

Mhhhh. David brought home a new vacuum cleaner today. I wonder if that's a commentary on how much our relationship sucks these days. You're into Spartan, so you don't like that I'm finishing our new home, eh? I don't know how I feel about David watching 300 so much, is that a commentary on my weight?

Or the amount of negative thoughts I have every single day? 300. David is watching 300, which gives me 300 negative thoughts today. Way up. Way up, my best partner. I'm that's part of. I'm no. Are you a part of?

No. No. Are you a part of? No. Well, there's mixed feelings online about Orange County as we've talked about a little bit before. Some people are like, there's mixed feelings online about Orange County as we've talked about a little bit before. Some people are like, it's so boring because if people aren't fighting, people find it

boring. I can see it sometimes, you know, last week I was a little bored. But how can you not be enjoying a show when it says previously on the Real Housewives of Betts County? Megan is like, does the baby have gas and it's like, hard, she and it's like do you like the Kenwa David David is it too much she David what do you think of the Kenwa and he's like it's not a master of steak beer and then she came up the Kenwa moment was wonderful I mean that was that was like some searing I don't know Edward Albe shit

right there yeah that's Edward Albe 2017 baby forks and Kenwa crying Who's afraid of Virginia Kenwa? Who's afraid of Kenwa wolf The drug-king wall fights would guess her over because Shannon is similar if you guys have never seen who's afraid of Virginia wolf It's this alcoholic, violent couple who just goes at each other, while this really sweet couple is over for dinner. And that's the whole play. But then the alcohol, but the terrible couple

manages to basically destroy the sweet couple, and then we find out that basically the terrible couple, they're happy, they're happy all along. And that actually made them even happier. Yeah, they enjoy their negativity. And there's a baby issue too. And that's kind of how Orange County started. Do you remember the first time Shannon had people over the house and she's like, look, that's a basketball court. And then she was in the kitchen. She's like, David, how could you say that in front of people?

Just bitching at David and bringing him down. So good. fair she She had really raised the bar in terms of potato souffle expectations or potato gritan and There was an issue and she had to microwave them. So understandably she was in a state She always has in this she I burnt the toast now. I have to cook fresh bread. I can't stop eating it damn picky David always likes burnt toast and now all of a sudden he doesn't want burn on it Now I have to cook fresh bread. I can't stop eating ya damn picky guffa said. David always likes burnt toast and now all of a sudden he doesn't want burnt on it. I don't get it and I don't accept it. This toast is a symbol of our relationship. I'm the frozen butter tearing a hole in it. And David is the toast adding weight onto me.

David. David. So we opened this episode at the gym, the, um, member of this gym with Eddie and Tamara. And she's like, yeah, she's like, let's do some batch ups. Bet. Uh, bet.

Ah, bet. Ah. And he's like, babe, you're doing the spartan competition. Why do you need to do your hair like you're on toddlers and TRIs? And she's like, I woke up like this. Bet. I'm like, doesn't Beyonce already have enough on her mind between Jay-Z and

the terrible things happening in Houston. The last thing she needs is for you to appropriate her signature line. No kidding. Leave Beyonce alone, okay? Yeah. And by the way, to our listeners in Houston, stay strong. I hope you everyone's okay. God, can you believe that? Would you believe it? Oh, okay. And Hed Houston. I hope you everyone's okay. God, can you believe that? Would you believe it? Oh, okay, and he Houston. I know it's terrible and they name it Harvey I feel like there's I feel like people named Harvey are so nice and now they're forever marred The name Harvey is forever marred So thanks. Oh, man. I mean you never Harvey Katrina. Oh, man Sandy these you know, someone.

These are such benign names and they come and they do terrible thing. Well, Katrina's not as benign, but Sandy is definitely Sandy. Like, oh, here comes Sandy. Sandy, could you imagine if you invite Sandy over and she comes and destroys your house? Like, now I was not expecting that from Sandy. I thought she's bringing some weathens over. I know, Sandy is like the nice girl from Greece. Yeah, and Harvey is like Harvey Firestein. Yeah, I feel like every hurricane should be named Pam. Well, have I told you the story? I think I have about Typhoon Feng Shen, which is that I went to college with a girl named Finchen.

Her first name was Fin and her last name was Shen. And she just was had this person and I was like, ah! And so when like nine years ago, there was a typhoon that went through Rift through Southeast Asia and it was called typhoon Finchen. And I couldn't stop laughing because it was

literally her entire name. It would be like the same as if there was a hurricane, Ronnie Carram. Like you were specifically called out by the hurricane. It's like the slowest hurricane ever. It only sucks up the dominoes in like the Ross houseware section. Hurricane Ben Mandelker came through and it's like, gosh, we were expecting a lot of damage, but it was just a lot of chatter and an occasional celebrity name drop. I'm sorry. I was like, holy crap, looking at those pictures. My God, you guys. Yeah, I didn't realize it was that serious as it was until, like, yes, share today.

So, stay strong. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I heard it. You know, I kept hearing the news, but I was having a crazy weekend. And today I actually read the news. And I was like, holy crap, looking at those pictures.

My God, you guys. Yeah, I didn't realize it was that serious as it wasn't to like, you know, yes, share today. So stay strong with you, everybody. And he's there. Yeah, our hearts are with you. But they are not with cut fitness, which is where Tamra and Eddie are dark dark dark hearts are with you. But right now our minds are in the terrible Grand Canyon painting. Cut, cut fitness. The empty gym known as Cut Fitness. I'm, yeah, so Tamara has weird charo here. And then they cut Shannon,

and she's standing on two things that look like breast and plants, which I thought was her passive aggressive way to go after David and his mistress. And she's, she starts talking, already she's talking about how the Spartan race has taken David away from her family He's just at the gym so much this Spartan race. It's making my heart spark Mm-hmm. I asked him how many he did last year in his first year eight

It's a lot. It's a lot. I Well, he's destroyed these implants Yeah, he did eight weight. What was your... A Tuff Mutter race is, I guess. Oh, I thought she meant like eight pull-ups or something. Oh, at the start. You know what, I'm actually on Shannon's side because I think the reason why I actually really hate

Spartan races and tough motors and things like that is that when people do them, they cannot stop announcing that they're doing them. It's like, hey, do you wanna get brunch? Oh, sorry, I'm doing Tough Mudder. Oh, how about this day? Sorry, I'm training for Tough Mudder. What about this?

Us, Spartan race, a triathlon. It's like, shut up. You're famous. You're famous, OK? Congratulations. I'll be eating lunch while you're over there. I don't get offended while they're doing them. It's just something that I don't quite understand.

You know? It's like when someone's like, I on my you know high school trip to Israel It sounds fun and stuff and they all come back with pictures and they're bonded and happy, but I just don't get it You know, I didn't get to do it. I feel like I feel like it's a commentary on like post 9-11 social media age Where people just need to feel something so they run out in the middle of the desert and climb up obstacles and hurt Themselves and jump through fire just so they know what living means again. Well, at least they do something to earn that. Today I was at the airport and a guy was taking a selfie of himself, obviously.

He was taking a selfie while he was getting his luggage. He's like, my luggage is here. He's like, wow, Instagram is on fire. My phone is burning up. That's called content. So the trainer, his name is Tim, apparently he's like, Hey, fatty, come on, do it. What's wrong with doing eight? And she's like, well, it's a, it's a, it's a lot, Tim. It's a lot. It is a lot. I'm sorry. That's, that's a lot of race is to do. And then my favorite scene of the year,

Tamer running up to a wall and just crashing into it like the coyote, where are we coyote? Yeah, she was trying to do one of those walls, the sparn wall things, the like ropes course things, where you run right up to it and jump over it and she just runs right into it. Yeah, it's like splat. And then you just hear me. It's uncool made cool uncooled. I should say it's like the Kool-Aid girl who can't. It's like the saddest story ever, the little Kool-Aid girl who can't. So on the other side of wall are two children just feeling very sad. We're waiting, waiting to be cheered up by a cool aid picture that will never

arrive. So is this the third the third mud thing we've seen because didn't they do another thing where they were in mud? Well they did one a few years ago. Remember where Heather twisted her ankle and she's like I'm a joiner. I'm a joiner client client client. And then they did they did one of these races on Real House of New York where Kristen and take man got suckered into it by Josh and then they were going to do it together and she didn't want to do it and he's like no no I'll be by your side and they start doing it he ran away and then she was stuck in the race having to do it and she hated it and she was crying and lying the whole time and all of America was like she's such a whiner and

I was like no no I support Kristen take man because she was like, she's such a whiner. And I was like, no, no. I support Kristen Takeman because she was promised that she didn't want to do it. And her husband said, I'll be by your side. And he'd left her and I know that feeling and that sucks. So I've always supported her. Well, don't trust a man in a fedora. It's just like more proof. No fights.

That's true too. Yeah, fedora. So, take her. So take her. So take her. So I can't get over it. Like if I see a tiny fedora like we saw in saws yesterday It will stay in my mind for a week. I'll be mad for a week. I don't know why I'm sorry everybody

It's okay, but tamer is like he was supportive of me last year. So this year. I'm gonna do it with arm And then Eddie is like, huh? You know, that's not how you climb the wall. You know, you just splatted yourself. Here's how you do it You know, that's not how you climb the wall. You know, you just splatted yourself. Here's how you do it. First, you have to lift yourself up and then you push yourself up with your arms and then you gracefully sit on it, okay?

Just do it like that. You're as big as like three people. So, yeah. If he literally just like, we should just hand up and his elbow is like draping over the wall. Yeah, like you're the mountain from Game of Thrones with Hairgel. So I don't think it's going to be the same for everybody jerk. I wish I got that reference.

As we, he's just huge. He's a huge dead person. Okay, so as we do, as we exercise, you know, and can't climb up walls, we talk about our gossip from parties last night. Yes. I can't climb up walls. We talk about our gossip from parties last night. Yes Peggy came at me as if I have a big anapology and she has this look on her like Like this like like a shit doesn't stink You mean I like to call it the camera look personally, but that's fine. It is. She gives that like Elvis snarl with her face. But it's also like, Tamara, you need to settle down. All that Peggy Day would say, you know what?

You're dwelling on it. You need to move on. That's not coming for someone, okay? Coming for someone is like any one of your montages, okay? The coming for someone is like showing up at the reunion with a folder of information about how some guy called your house and is having an affair with Gretchen.

That's coming for someone. Seeing, you know what, maybe you should just move on, is not coming for someone. Yeah, but that was B.C. That was before Christ. So it doesn't count. This is New Testament camera. Okay. If we can only bring up New Testament issues.

That's true. That's true. And also, I would like to make a bet. I don't know if anybody can approve me right on this, but I will bet a lot of money. Let's say a hundred bucks, that Peggy's shit does not stink. I'll bet it literally doesn't stink. I'll bet that Peggy eats something that's like, it makes my shit not stink. It's like cardamom or something.

Yes, you know she's got like some anacid that she takes to make her poop smell like licorice. You heard her first. Peggy's shit does not think. So where is Jesus trainer? I don't know where Jesus she I miss Mia. I do too because now Tamra has Eddie for spiritual guidance and it's not good. He's like babe you don't need to attack people for giving you a shitty look. Some people just have a shitty look on their face and she's like good. He's like, babe, you don't need to attack people for giving you a shitty look. Some people just have a shitty look on their face. And she's like, but it was shitty. And Ficket hasn't called me. And then they're there. And he's like, don't let that bitch affect you. She's affecting you through this other girl's snarl face.

She's like, I hate when he tries to solve my problems. I don't want a solution. I just want to fat. I'm like, you just want to yell at people at parties. Yeah, isn't that the worst when people try to solve things Well, I'm a Ronnie splainer, so I can't say anything about that. It would be hypocritical No, I I think I think Tamron needs to settle down. She's getting a I don't know I thought she's being in her wheels a little bit too much. Mm-hmm Well, if Shannon, I mean if Tamron decides that she's going to go to a party and yell at somebody and she doesn't get the opportunity, it's like Tommy from the

Shadows Sunset, when he's like, I haven't had sex in the week. I need to stick in something. It's like Tamara, you know, she's got to let it out somehow. That's true. That's true. So then we go over to Shannon, who is having lunch at a restaurant with Peggy. And so Shannon shows up and just everything she does. Even if something as simple as getting into a chair is hilarious because she, I guess it's like lower than she thought. She's like, whoa, that's a lower chair. David.

I just had to fall into that chair. Huh. Who's like Zipline. That was like Ziplining somebody text David. Maybe I'll love me again. I fell in that chair. The way David falls into a slot on the beach. A reason that I can never truly love Peggy yet is because she orders vodka with four lines and that side work to await her. That's like a lot of cunning Peggy.

It's a lot of line. Why does she need so many lines? At that point, she's asked for a gimlet. She just wants to be a pain in the ass. That's why. So they talk and Shan is like, well, did you stay late at the party? Math and I falling down into this chair? Down that well, like that poor little Jessica girl.

I don't know why people fall into wells. I mean, like, if they put a fence around it, you think they'll be ample warning, but I guess not everything in life gets a warning sort of like when I found out that David was cheating on me, it came out of left field. You know what left field means, don't you? I can never really, I never really felt bad for that girl in the well, but now I know where she's coming from. Late apologies. Just because like thank you she somewhere at home watching this like thank you thank you thank you thank you so Peggy's like no I did not stay late did you have fun well yes but I talked to Tamer the car and she was really upset and Peggy so now Peggy is doing this whole thing of she's upset why you you not sitting in front of me for lunch? Why are you not talking to me? Call me.

We're adults. Because you already had plans for Shannon, that's why. And you're already accusing somebody else of breaking their phone, or breaking your phone because they did call you. You can't have it both ways. Your phone doesn't like receiving calls. My phone was on the edge of the table.

She should have called me. The phone was on the edge of the table. She should have called me. The phone was holding a gun to its head. She should have called. Tell her to call me when the iPhone 8 comes out so I can get free phone from her. She's just using all the phone calls she gets as a free upgrade. She's just putting her phone in one of her black my cars and drink on the engine and something out of her ass. So she's like she think I was siding. I'm no siding. Okay. I'm no make side.

She's like thinking she's like siding on a house. I cannot keep the rain out. I'm only one woman. You need four women and that's only four or four sides of the house. So they're in the problem. So she's like, well, this reminds me of a story of a meeting a girl named Kelly. And we had to tell her, Kelly, do not get involved in our relationship with Vicki. Don't butt in.

You guys are forcing everybody to butt in like the woman you didn't even give the woman a chance. And Tam was like, that's spatch within the middle of my marriage. Yeah, seriously. How about if you stop feuding that way, no one can be stuck in the middle. Because the thing is, as everyone always says, they don't want to put people in the middle.

But the moment that one person refused to talk to another person, and so then having to figure out a social calendar becomes like a game of chess, that's when you put people in the middle. Yeah, like Sam is getting you put people in the middle. Yeah, like Sam and it's getting the entire family in the middle. Remember that speaker call when she called the whole family? And she's like, oh, I'm out speaker.

Well, let me tell you what Vicki Gumbels did to me. Are you hanging up? Are you hanging up? Yes, I have to go. Must go now. It's Friday. Husband beat me now. It's a joke, Shannon, not a comment on Vicky Luma. Yeah, and Sarah

And it's like, well, I hear that you're getting close with Vicky and all I say to you is be careful and all I say that this waiter is more artichoke than please Just give me a soup spoon and a giant bowl of it. We'll just call it our choke chowder, okay? When the rescue people come to get me out of this Well, tell them I'm busy Tell them I'm done with it. We'll just call it our choke chowder, okay? When the rescue people come to get me out of this well, tell them I'm busy. Tell them I'm done with my side of toasts, which I've tried to make unsuccessfully. I have a question, Peggy. How many sides of toast do you have to have before it becomes your main? I'm no side. I'm no side. I have no side. No side.

So Peggy's like, well, I have to tell you, Vicky was very beautiful to me. She offered me CAC. And she's like, because I went into surgery, breast. She's like, oh, well, you had cancer? Well, yes, no. No, yes. Cancer, cancer kind of, no, maybe, almost.

And she's like, oh, you I get tested for the for the brackaging Oh, yes, it was negative, but my mom died of cancer. I'm like wait a minute Okay, now I'm kind of getting where they're coming from Even though I do agree with David later. He's like well, maybe that she's just doing preventive dear Yeah, yeah, because Shannon already her eyes are trying to do Felix the the cat and it's sort of like, tiktok, tiktok, wait a second. Am I having deja vu here?

What's going on? Oh, it was negative. Oh, but you had the surgery anyway. It seems like a lot of precaution. It's almost like preheating the oven in case that nails aren't ready at the dinner party. What am I doing in Ferris, bea'llers day off. Look to the side, look to the side, Look to the side, look to the side,

look to the side, look to the side. I love that cat clock. I love that cat clock. So Shannon, you know this is going to come back later because Shannon is traumatized by almost cancer and so she's just like, wow. Whoa? Whoa? And she's like, well, the MRI didn't pick it up, but another test picked it up, a health test. I don't know, some other kind of test I didn't write it down. Yeah, and you could see Shannon's like, okay, choose yours carefully. Don't get into a problem here, but this is clearly an issue. Oh my god, David Do you have a Trapper keeper? Yes or no, Missy?

Yeah, she's saving it till she gets Tamber her backup So she repeats it in front of her. She's like you didn't see it in MRI, but you did see it in your vote personality test She's like yes Yes, so let me get this straight you did not see the cancer in MRI it in your Vogue personality test. She's like, yes. Yes. So let me get this straight. You did not see the cancer in MRI, but it did show up on BuzzFeed, which Beyonce are you test? Which breast job are you going to get test? The kind that you want, the kind that you need or the kind that you almost

have cancer for, but papers in a fake trap are keeping them. No one's ever seen. Now you know that when you find cancer in a horoscope, it's actually supposed to be there, right? She's like decent, sad, at least she showed me was worth a million bucks half of one of my cars. And salmon is being shady here. She's like, well, she's a good to talk to you because she was very sad about Brux's

cancer And it's good that your friends are because she needs friends right now because she's pushed all her old friends away And Peggy is getting it because Vicki was the first one to be nice to her so she's like You know, I am with her because it's touchy subject. She is going to stand up for the man she loves and I think that you got mad because I think with my head you think with your emotions. She's like how dare you I'm not emotional. I'm reactive For instance when I go home and see David my reaction is happy and see David, my reaction is, Happy!

Ah! That's so happy! Ah! David? Are you happy too? David? David? Keny, are you happy?

Keny! Anybody? Anybody? Is that my home? Archie? Archie, Archie, no! Toast, were you happy when you burned to death? Tell me the truth!

So, basically, she just, any other conversation Shannon would have gone off about 20 times anything that Peggy said, but because she's you know not able to shoot anymore on the show she's like well just don't make criminal allegations about my husband and we'll be good. Okay, but I'm no sighting. Yeah. So Vicki and the kids. Boom!

This is pretty funny actually because Owen was just sort of standing there and browns like, Owen, what's wrong? He's like, I'm being, I'm being! And you just hear trickle, trickle, trickle. I didn't even flinch, they're like, oh, okay. So Vicki is like, well, Shannon, Vicki Shannon. Vicki's like, last night I went out after work. Yes, Vicki, we know you have a job. It's like, but after work, after I worked really hard to keep this family going,

I went to this place called Sushi Roku, and I couldn't even say how did anybody. And Brie, I was like, I really don't want to hear this, please. And then they just show this montage of Vicki just not shutting up. They keep cutting and cutting like it's, you know, till midnight that she's talking. Yeah. And she's saying all these ridiculous things. She's like, Oh, yeah. You know, I asked Siri how many times you forgive someone in series that said, you know, because seven's in the Bible in the 70s and we can send in Bibles and seven Apostles

and seven pages in the Bible too and 70. And Brian was like, Oh my God. in the Bible in the 70s and we can send in Bibles and seven Apostles and seven pages in the Bible too and 70 and Browse like oh my god She's like did I see her he have any addibles get on the boat It's like two by two, you know like what am I supposed to do with that? I don't want to be on the boat with those bitches Okay, he's we wonder two by two by two by two times seven like how many is that that's what's that like four attempts at 28 like 28 28 days 20 days early zombies. I don't know I love that Vicki's fighting back this episode with the Bible. She's mentioning the Bible now every scene too. She's like, well, where did the Bible? Seven seven hundred and 77 type seven. That's how many times you need to forgive somebody like I've done that. I've done that.

Cut it together. Cut it together. Whoever's doing that. Cut it together. And here's another thing. What happened to 777 film, huh? Well, I'm going to move the phone to hear Vicki compare her struggles to the animals on Noah's Ark press one. That's the only option. For the honest like shit. That's all I get to do. They really need to get more movies down here to Orange County. like it to do. They really need to get more movies down here to Orange County. So, Brianna says there's a lot of ingredients in this shit recipe and I'm over it. Like, not one of these ingredients is pepperoni. So just take some fireball shots.

Please. Thankfully, there's no salsa in the recipe either because poor Steve just got a sure cleaned. Well, I tried to get it with that with that spudge, but you know, we had to take it to one of the cleaners. That reminds me of Tabray. You know, it tried to take me to the cleaners. It's like, oh, geez. She just goes on and on and on. I liked when they showed that clip of the gay rumors when thinking it's like, I think I picked up that ruber. I heard it, and then I said it. And Tamra goes, yeah, she loves gay people. Yeah, that was yeah, so then and then Vicky all of a sudden remember that she forgot to pick up lunch that she had ordered Which I don't know was funny to me Free honest like Jesus Christ you're not even gonna feed me

Yes, seriously, I literally came here for a free lunch Yeah, and she's gonna be having to pick up the pee in the pool built. Yeah for the pool cleaner P in the pool So then we had like a funky little tennis match remix music moment. Did you notice that with the tennis balls? Like The other the editors. It's like we create a stomp montage out of tennis right now. Let's try it. See if anyone notices. Could we do the big littleized theme as told through tennis balls? Well, the good news is that we then moved on to a super exciting scene of Megan and Aspen

at a photo shoot. I know it wasn't even tennis. That was the best part. It's like you guys put all that work in it No one was even playing tennis. I know so Megan is there. She's she's she's on this whole cake of like I'm like ready to come back. I'm like I'm back. I got my body back. I'm like a mom justice Justice I used to be a model So now I'm gonna be a model again to prove that I'm still the same person I'm like you're literally not. I don't know what kind of model you were before, but I'm not sure about this guy She was like in landz end of Bosnia or something. I don't know what it was. She's like a model baby justice headband

So this guy named Shah who who was like a designer who who came to basically style her for this shoot. He, he, he comes into the shoot and she's like, Shah, does my body look different from the last time? He's like, I don't know, he still sort of look like a praying mantis, I guess. Is this and is this going to be different than my praying mantis shoot? Because I want to make sure that people still know that I'm a praying mantis. I pray too. Just like popping up from behind.

I just prayed right now. Like literally I just prayed. I just bit up Brooks's head. I prayed seven times. Seven times. I have 7 leaves. I have waited 7-9 more days. And now I'm eating up seven stocks. Oh, that's so stupid.

So I like the idea of Vicky wanting to be a printing, praying mantis also. She's jealous. I was like, all right, I've already, I've already got granted to kid. So someone should be having to get a break back to his face. What doctors do I need to call Sorry, you are merely a gypsy mom

So Megan's last line will make this scene and Quickly you're welcome She's like I can't wait to talk about adult things again. My good luck Maybe you should start like what like the way you can start talking about adult things is to stop talking about your baby all the time. That's an adult thing. Hey, handles. My baby is like really mad at Kelly. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less

alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then we go. Sorry, I just build a diet coke on a power strip. So I'm waiting to see if things are going to blow up. How did you do that? Because I have big ham hands.

Oh man. So Peggy, V-Kore. She's like, Peggy and Diko are having lunch someplace. And Peggy's like, please do butterfly. Please do it. Do butterfly.

The waitress is coming to do it. And he's like, no, come on, babe. No, do it. Do it. So he puts his hands over his nose and claps him really fast. I don't know. What the fuck is that?

It was apparently what butterflies do. I guess. In Ormedia, when we say do butterfly, that means bang me under table. The way this is coming, bang me under table, butterfly. Do the butterfly means what are you having for dinner? But then we get to see what it is because the way through says like, what the f? She's just looking at them like, I was supposed to be auditioning with my model I got right now to become a real TV actress. And she's just looking at them and she goes, he is in different world right now.

He thinks he is butterfly he want to fly away she's like he in different world Sinbad is coming over soon Sinbad no the one with a boat where is Jasmine guy is a different world. Yeah, so then this she gives that she gives the by the way she gives the origin story of the butterfly. She's like Diko learned butterfly from friend and when friend isn't here to make us laugh with butterfly I say Diko do butterfly and he does butterfly. I think it's the first time we've seen Peggy laugh like legit laugh and it's fucking with a poor person It's true. That is so Peggy. She's like oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I love I love fucking with poor people via pantomime These girl probably drives Honda, huh? Oh

One color Honda, huh? Uh, uh, uh, uh. What is your car? Black or white? Mine is and. I'm not siding. My conjunction is better than yours. She's like laughing is not a secret to marriage,

but it is necessity. Okay. Glad you cleared that up for us. Yeah. So it's money, lots and lots of money. So she started talking about how her lunch was Shannon and how she learned that Tamara was upset with her and she's like, that came out of the what's left field what is this left field and he goes like you know it's unexpected oh but then what is the right field I'm in immigrant what do I know huh in my country left field is where husband beat wives on Fridays.

Joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. Did you? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, So Kelly and Vicki, Kelly and Vicki just shop. They go to a really do. Yeah, they walk into a store and he's like, oh Vicki, this is my friend Gloriana. I'm like, Vicki, you're like, Brianna? She's like, no, no, no, Gloriana.

Oh, okay. Yeah, she's like, Brianna, I bought you a car. Remember that? Remember how I bought you a car? All right, find this in my size. Yeah, so they just shop and literally do nothing. I mean, find this in my size. Yeah, so they just shop and literally do nothing. I mean, they use an aura machine.

I have to say, Vicki's wearing a swim cover up to this store. She's wearing a swimsuit cover up and like a witch hat. What the fuck is happening? I noticed the witch, the witch thing was very strong. It was a very strong witch. It was, it was very strong. It's a very strong which is it was Salem chic So you're gonna give me a trial. Do I get a trial? You just gonna burn me you gonna burn me at the stake. I came in my queue discover up to get burned at the stake for She's like or a machines. Ah or a machines are bullshit, okay? Aura Shibora. Oh, that rhymed.

You know what, I believe in Jesus, okay? Get the other crap out of here. I'm surprised Aura, Vicky's aura was not just jet black. It's a jet black cloud around her body for that machine. She's not even wearing any clothes. Like her swimsuit black cover up is her aura. It's that dark. She wears aura. She's like dark. She wears a aura.

She's like, well, we take the voodoo chives out of the office. Because you know what? It's crap. Hey, you know what? I see a lot of times Jesus got his aura red. That's how many times he wrote. It's crap. So yeah, so now Vicky, Vicky starts talking about how Shannon has been terrible to her

and that basically she thinks that Shannon drank Tamer's Kool-Aid. And then Kelly says, when Kelly's tells Vicki that Tamer apologized to her, Vicki gets all mad because she's like, well, she's only known you for two years and you've got an apology. She's not even me for 10 years. I still haven't gotten an apology. And you know, all this stuff that Vicki's saying about Tamer's motives and all that, it's correct. Yeah.

But it's also what Vicki does every single time. Yeah, that's the thing that's tricky. For both of them, they don't seem to realize that what they're accusing each other of doing, they also do. So Vicki is correct when she says that Tamer is going to use Kelly as a pawn, but Vicki doesn't, you know, take any responsibility, not responsibility, but she doesn't see how she fits into that equation because she does the same thing and that you can't play chess by herself. You guys are

both using these people as pawns. I don't know. I've watched Big Brother. True. But we talked about Virginia Woolf jokingly earlier, but that is kind of Tamer Vicki. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is true. And I think this is the first time where we've seen their pattern get messed up because normally it's friends, friends,

friends, batch, batch, batch, friends, friends, friends, batch, batch, it's always like, there's always like every two or three seasons, there is the fight season where they're mad. But then they come back together. But now it's two seasons in a row where they've been angry at each other. And it's not right. We need them to only have one season of fight. Yeah, we need some private time and a wine cellar in Heather's house. Yeah, that's what we need. Doobie beat.

Yeah, doobie. So now we cut to Shannon and David driving to dinner and Shannon is in the process of boring David to death. And she's like, wow, my stamina. Well, my stamina is going up and I'm losing weight. And he's just like, yes, dear, yes, dear, yes, dear. She's like, I did squats for the first time. Oh, I mean, I'm happy, but I still hate it. And he's like, you need to switch your mindset, dear. And she says, well, well, there's things you do that you don't like. Should I tell you to flip the switch next time?

And you see just laughing like, hey, hey, that's definitely true, dear. David has learned how to be married to Shannon. Just say, yes, smile. Just say you're right. David never. And you never used to agree with me before. David, David, he must be up to something. David, you just used to agree with me before, David. David. He must be up to something. David, you just used to turn signals.

Does that mean you're trying to turn away from me? David. So then they show up at Mashtros, where you can see already. I mean, this is really passive-aggressive. Going back to that quinoa thing. It's like, well, dear, you served me enough quinoa that wasn't Mashtros. I thought I'd show you what the real thing tastes like.

Oh, God. Oh, well, it's crunchy. Well, I'm glad that the maestro's could make you happy. I guess the only way that I could make you happy is if I served you hand-in-foot and gave you slices of beef, huh, David? Is that what you want? Actually, yes. So Eddie's like, we'll take the seafood tower, OK?

And she's like, well, thank you very much, Mr. Eddie, face, because that is very low calorie. Did you also notice that when Eddie and David greet each other, they went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they barked at each other. And then later on, we found out that that bark is basically the bark of the Spartan race, which made it even do sheer.

But it's also like guys being like, we're guys. And these are the guys who spend the most time in the steam room, Sith to Jim. So you always got to wonder. It's like a little overcompensation there, boys. I'm really enthralled by their budding bromance. And I'm not going to say, you know, just two guys are allowed to bark at each other and just love being around each other and not be gay. I think it's great.

That's like being bros. But the thought that they actually might be severely gay together is really fun. I think they're just like people on the army, you know, when people come back and they've been stationed in different places But they've both seen the real thing, you know similar things and only they can understand Yeah, you know, I think that they're just two guys who are over 45 and want to feel young again So they do things going like going I I Think it's that when they stare into each other's eyes it may look to us like they want to give blood jobs

But they're really just seeing purple hearts in each other's eyes like I'm surviving Surviving too. I think actually it's basically a secret code Which is that if Eddie says Aru it means should I get the seafood tower? We'll shine and be cool that and David if he goes Aru it'll drive her nuts. Let's do it just a fuck with her Who's a ru? Who's a ru? Why are you barking like a dog? David do you want another dog? Is Archie not good enough? Am I not good enough? David. David. So we start to see a little souring in this friendship because Tamra is annoyed with Janet. We've seen it a few times and a few of the testimonials this season where Tamra is like, wow, I don't approve that.

Um, there's been a huge weight gain and tamer, you know, is like really obsessed with dieting and stuff. So there's that. And now there's this, um, well, David, David loves to spartan race. And you know, it happened every since the last one. Eddie. So thanks a lot because then he got obsessed and he started going to the gym every night. And now coming home until the gym closes.

And like David looks exactly the same. So he really does. Not that he was ever fat or looked, you know, bad or anything, but he doesn't look like he's been spending like six hours a day at the gym. So you might need to find out this gym's name and where she lives. Jim's name and where she lives. And then didn't what was it here? Because at one point they say, well, why don't you go to Jim with him or why don't you go?

I don't I forget what it was. I think it was why don't you go on on the Spartan races too? And then he said he really enjoys it. And that's something you guys could do together. And David's like, well, look at that beer. And was this where Shannon goes, well, I'm not going on a romantic trip with my husband so we can run a Spartan race. Well, this is also where she was crying.

And she's like, David has been obsessed with working out. Ma. It's like you're crying about your husband working out. Come on now. She has this, like, she starts, like, they go to a confessional and she's, you know, choked up doing that, that fragile thing that we love. And she's like, a week before I were found renewal. Eddie ran his first, I mean, I mean, David ran his first Spartan race with

Eddie. And ever since then, it's become an obsession with him. It's like normally when you start off like a week before the vowel, vowel, vowel renewal, you know, I found out that David had been cheating again and it turns out he has not been truthful because he's been, it's just, he ran a Spartan race. Yeah. Now she's mad at Eddie. It's like she doesn't even think of the guy or the girl on the beach anymore. Now it's all Eddie's fault.

I saw how you arude Eddie, whatever that means. Your life, Shannon Badoore killed by a wall of fire she had to jump through in an effort to participate with David's stupid race. And Tim was like, well, one thing I don't do is amasculate my husband that that's not a good marriage, which you know when Shannon sees that when Shannon watches episode is probably immediately crying on Facebook live like did you see sh- uh did you see Tamra eat the last crab leg? it's like she's mad about something totally inconsequential. Batch I'll never amasculate my husband by the way Batch do I tell you about how

we had sex for six hours? The lady Gaga has requests to batch. Oh, Tamara. So Tamara seems like she's starting to turn a little bit. And this is a long time for Tamara to be nice to one person. It's really weird. It's got to be making her feel awkward. Well, I think she's confused because the audience loves Shannon Badoor. So she's like, okay, I want to be friends with Shannon Badoor. But the, I feel like the audience also wants Tamara

to get back together with Vicki instead. So I think her brain is a little scrambled at the moment. Yeah, more than usual, poor Tamara. But I just wanna put everything that Shannon has cried about the season into one clip because it's all ridiculous. It's Kenwa, her husband working out too much. And what's the other one we were talking about?

I came home and I turned on the TV, or at least I tried to, I pressed the TV button, the universal remote had been reprogrammed. Imagine that. Now I don't know how to turn on the TV. How do I do it? I don't know. Can David me? No, he's exercising So I just stare at a black TV. I know what I don't know what's on Do I know what's plugged into input one? No? I tried to unplug it and I got a little shock I was like, oh It's you my or hdm you David Wow! H-D-M-I or H-D-M-U, David. H-D-M-T-M-I, am I right?

It would be nice to have an H-D-M-I plug-in that could be about I for once. David, maybe our marriage should be universal, like our amount. David, I've bought us a harmony remote. I can't help but feel like the universal remote represents our marriage. It's neither useful nor close.

It's remote, get it? Ha! Ha! Yoke! Remote! Even the remote, because he's working out. Ha! So, Sharon and his called Tamara and told her, well, I spoke with Peggy and she just snarled at me and acted stupid,

or whatever. So Tamara goes to lunch with Peggy. She doesn't even understand a simple baseball metaphor. Can you imagine? Uh-uh-uh-uh. I thought we'd go to an angel's game. She thought I was trying to kill her. What the hell is right, Field? I mean, three strikes you're out with her, huh?

Tamer shows up to... Peanut's... What is it? Packer's peanuts, cracker jacks. What is it? Packers peanuts, cracker jacks. What is it? Hot dogs peanuts, cracker jacks. Well, thanks a lot, Peggy. Thanks a lot for the support.

Thanks a lot, you know. And now when I say three strikes around, I'm not encouraging a labor movement. So Tamra arrives at lunch and she's like, I have a reservation for two on her batch. And they're like, okay, so they're kind of icy with each other at first. Well, Peggy, you really can't tell because like her face really doesn't move. She's like, pretty colored outside, huh?

So happy today. Look at the outside, what a color. And Tamra's like, well, you know, first, I thought when Peggy came from me at that party at Roku or whatever, I was like, fuck her. But now I understand she's gone through a lot of not cancer and I need to give her another chance. Did you notice that when Tamra was ordering egg whites and vegetables, Peggy was staring at her like, I see egg whites.

This is how she does it. If you eat the yellow, you get the energy from the baby, which makes you happy. Make an effort. What is this egg whites? Aren't they all white? What is why you have to say whites? I don't get it. I would like egg Armenian

Please So Tamra says that she will forgive Peggy bunch of fixes that resting batch face Which Tamra think just heard the term resting batch face because she just keeps using it like it's yeah most hilarious things She's ever heard yeah, it's true It's like during it's like during the bad room and not to make a goggah call back, but during the bad romance period of when that song was out, she can't tell I'm right, I'm saying, I'm a bad Dutch baby. Okay, calm down, we've all heard the song too.

She's like, I'm like a virgin, bad. Pretty Dutch baby. So then I like when Peggy goes when she's like, I don't understand why you act so dramatically when I said get over it. And Tamara's like, I was not dramatic. And then you montage of her being like, if you say, I have to get over it one more time. I'm going to let myself have an environment.

That was on the milk. Do you want to be friends? It's like Jesus, now you're yelling at somebody. Like it's an honor to be your friend anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's a asshole and she's ready to yell again, but Peggy doesn't let her because Peggy just keeps looking at her and she goes, well, you don't know me, you know?

So when I said get over it, I didn't mean it like that. I meant get over it. And she's like, how do I hit this lady? Should I stab her with the fork? I need a reason. Well, Peggy comes to my philosophical place where she says, when our minions have conflict, they kind of deflate the situation. I mean, what's the point of yelling? Yelling is only telling the other person what you want heard. You must not yell, text, text. You yell come to the side and we don't need that.

And she's trying to tell Tamra that she's not being offensive, but Tamra is taking it all offensively still, because she just keeps repeating the same thing. She's like, all I was saying to you is, it is hurting you to rob it. And she's like, look, I don't know your personality, but I told someone, like who was that? Who was that? I'm like the entire'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, and I won't give you the face. That's a paralyzed bitch face. She's like my face does not move.

Facial movement gives you wrinkles. Okay. Yeah, she even says she doesn't like to smile. She's like, I don't like to smile. Yeah, smiling is for people who are weak. Look at this waitress. She smiles. Is she a waitress because she smiles?

Or does she smile because she is a waitress I would be in right field maybe I would not have resting bitch face if you do more butterfly do the butterfly time I do it your face I'll try it your face your arms no sorry batch I don't even know what a butterfly is, Batch. All your face needs is in the app. You would have resting, Batch Phase II if Coco was always playing ball in house. My husband beats me. Is it Friday? Lefty, at the minute. It's a swing in a miss, which as we all know, is a good old fashioned dancing, saying. So I was typing these notes really fast and I made a mistake, but it actually kind of

fits. It says Lydia Doe closet. The widest husband in the franchise. Yeah, Doe. Yeah, so Lydia and Doe, they're getting ready for this Spartan race. And Lydia's whole story, this episode was, Oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this race. I'm scared. Look at me. Look at my skinny arms.

Woo! I know she's got like huge guns. Yes. Also, I liked when they showed her practicing for the Spartan. And she was like, what? Jesus. Well, this zoom was actually surprisingly hilarious because she's showing pictures to her kids at the crazy things she'll have to do, like, jump through a wall of fire and go through a lake or whatever. And Maverick just starts to

ball. He's just crying. He's like, will you be dead in the fire though? And she's like, no. in the fire though. And she's like, no. What about the lake? What about that scary woman chasing that's Tamra honey? Still ruined our lives, but she won't kill me. But what if it's not your plate? No, no, no, Shannon won't be there. Lydia's only positive up swing to her kid. I love that she just laughs as her kid is sobbing. She's like, ah! And she says, uh, well, maybe he's a prophet! Maybe he's the next prophet! Watch out, Jesus! I'm like, oh my god. This show has become the most twisted, like, church after party I've ever seen. Like, everybody is talking about Jesus all the time.

No. And I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, oh my god. the most twisted church after party I've ever seen. Like everybody is talking about Jesus all the time. No, at all times, all times. What if he was the second coming? He was a prophet and he's stuck with nobleman magazine. It's like I told everybody the truth, but nobody reads nobleman magazine. It's gotta choose better outlets. It's like I'm Jesus. I don't know about the internet.

Like I'm still working with magazine. It's okay people. So then we go over to the Spartan race and we, you know, the various couples arrived. Tamer Eddie, Lydia Doug and David Allone, because Shannon will not go to the Spartan race. And you know, I honestly don't blame her. Why would she want a drive to Arizona just to watch a whole bunch of people go through an obstacle course? Well, I would be supportive, but apparently they don't have artichoke dip. Thanks a lot, David. Well, I, I have to say, home and make a week's worth of King Wow, which apparently that goes up Mashra's seafood tower.

She's just sitting at home watching her lemons in a bowl, like just staring at them like, Well, what do you have to say for yourselves? Or she just like has her arms crossed in the bathroom staring at the toilet that's in her relationship corner? You're ruining this for me. You're the one who told him to do this, partly, isn't it? Isn't it you, huh?

Well, I suppose the floating bull glade did nothing. So thanks a lot. She has a little fly swat her. She's ready for those like 10,000 flushes. Things to come out of the toilet. Yeah, one so little guys come out of this swatting. She's every one of them. So Lydia's telling Tamra, I'm surprised she didn't come. And Tamra says, yeah, she's a god stat. She hates that patch. And Lydia's like, well, there's so much worse he could be doing. For example, that lady from the beach. It's like we're not talking about that, Lydia. And I have a feeling there is something much worse that he's doing. Like that man, you better, you better get on his eye cloud and figure out where his find my friends has been at or

call you some 24 hour fitness because I can almost guarantee you that man has not been at the gym Yeah, I don't know wedding vow renewal is always It's not a good sign people should not be happy someone never says we're gonna renew our wedding vows You should you should be very concerned that's when you should start calling up the lawyers It means the end is not yeah, and also she you know She's with a man who wishes that Keen Wat takes it like steak. It's like, I don't know that that's somebody you could please. You know, can we just give a shout out to Spartan race participant

number 9161? He deserves a special shout out. He was the muscle de Torso that the camera zoomed in on and I Yeah, remember that guy they just like showed him and then there was actually a wide shot where you could see him again And I was like, wow Yes, I love a 16 pack on a man Who's shaved his entire body because it's like effort but like just too much Yeah, like there's just enough self-doubt there to make him attainable. So thank you But he kept a little happy trail, which is nice. Yeah, it's it just works It works on so many different levels and you know he's from Orange County

So it's sort of douchey but like hot douchey so we appreciate that yeah, and has a job because I feel like everybody there works You know well, but it's like a job like doing things like um selling like Like motorcycles or something or motifs, you know, it's like not like it's not like a Fancy job. It's just a job that pays the bills and then he goes to Huntington Beach and drinks beers and gets in a bar fights No, he doesn't drink beers. It's not with that stomach. Maybe like he does. He does and soda Ah, you're right. I'm in the line. I'm officially in love. My kind of guy.

Number 9161, please make yourself know and make yourself. If someone can find out, if someone can track down number 9161, please, everyone, crap and army, the crap anders, the Joell Deans, go get them. Also it is a good shout out from the editors to you because they sexually harassed him and didn't show his face because they do, they show boobs a lot, you know, just like close ups of boobs and they did it with a man to you.

So thanks for spreading their harassment around. Thank you, thank you. So then we see these jokers all running through this this obstacle course, which actually looked really fun. I couldn't believe it. I was sitting here hating on the Spartan race and then when they were doing it, I was like, this actually looks fun. I could conce believe it. I was sitting here, hating on the Spartan race and then when they were doing it, I was like, this actually looks fun. I could

conceivably see myself maybe doing this. But the best part, of course, there was one part where they all had to climb a rope gym class style, climb it all the way to the top. And they just have a close up on Tamra squatting nearby, croaking, perhaps on the verge of vomiting on camera. Yeah, it's been me happy. Just made me happy. She's like lifting weights is so much easier about. Yeah, and then she like prayed a little and she was okay.

So next step is Saint Patrick's Day. Now, this is a terrifying time of year. Not only does the local dance catalog have to come up with a glitter tap dance green outfit for Shannon to wear But it's terrifying for anybody who owns a pub Yes, yes, this is true. So Megan has all the well not all the girls. She has Kelly and Nanny and Shannon come over and they're gonna go to a pub and Before they come over, Kelly comes over first and Megan has done some weird stuff on her eyes.

Like she called them one eye, looks sort of green and I guess the other has some sort of rainbow thing. It looked like her right eye was moldy bread. It looked like she had just contracted mold all around her eye. And she goes, I'm a leprechaun. And I found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And Kelly just goes, oh, how smart.

Still got it, you see guys? Like I'm still on the doll. Yeah, I'm talking about adult things, you know? Like, rainbow and leprechauns, get it? How smart, Kelly. I had a face painter come over and pretend it was my birthday. Adult. Adult justice. So then Shannon shows up in her sparkly green shirt from last year from Ireland. And she's like

and then we get a montage of Shannon's terrible Irish accent. Top of the morning till yeah. morning to ya. Tap morning to ya. Tap and it morning. Like it's not you with bunker day. Is it the bottom of the morning? No. No. 8 to 10 shots of whiskey. That's how many I'll take today. Shannon cannot walk. She's wearing these stiletto heels, which I don't know why she keeps doing this to herself. She's like, well, I can't walk. These are kind of like little baby crutches, but they're treating the opposite of helping me. Just get me a jazzy. Just get me a jazzy.

Where are my crocs? So they go over to the bar and they're just having fun. And Megan is drinking whiskey, she's trying to out the bottle and she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then Kelly starts doing it. So the Shannon starts doing that like, that over excited laugh that she does

when she tried to prove to people that she and David are really happy. She's like, ha, ha, ha, oh, what? Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The way you're drinking for, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Having fun with Kelly, I'm the bigger person. Ha, look at that picky gongle, son. I canall sin. I can have fun, I can't be by hands. Ha!

We're having a full kick in time. Ha! Ha! Happy morning, Ha! Ha! Island, Thailand. I'm not a no-tool, Megan. No, no. Still not a no-tool. Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha! So they give her the drink and she won't touch it to her lips, but they get wasted. Everybody gets wasted. And it turns into nice wasted because Kelly wasted does not necessarily mean nice wasted. No, but this time it is. And she also pokes it Shannon a lot. Shannon could have gone off two times this episode and hasn't done it. Yeah, she didn't.

It was actually shocking because basically Kelly starts talking about what what Vicki said to her at at Gloriana's store where Vicki said that that Tamer gets in Shannon's ear and and sways her. And so Shannon's like, no, that's a mouth. I can't be brainwashed. I'm not brainwashedable. Yeah, I have 30 to 40 negative thoughts and know him for anything else. not pretty washable. Yeah, I have 30 to 40 negative thoughts and know for anything else. Well, she got, you know, she, she made up stories of my husband is beating the shit out of me and that's not true. Now, I want to say something here, I'm not saying David ever beat the shit out of

her anything like that. But those stories were from a blog from police reports. And Shannon explained what happened. He just broke down the door to the private room, the hidden room or whatever, which was still pretty bad. But it's not like the police weren't called. It wasn't a total lie. So Shannon needs to just stop bringing it up. There's some...

I wasn't her excuse that like she... They were having a fight, so she went into the private room or something. What was it again? It was so weird. It was like her response was so strange. It was like, I don't... This is weird. It was like her response was so strange. It was like I don't this is weird Yeah, they were having like some kind of violent fight and really getting into it and down and dirty And so she ran into the private room and he was like us trying to kick the door down or bust the door down and Someone called the police which I mean who I don't know who would have been I don't remember

But she just just stopped bringing it up because we'd never would have even said that. You see that? I had the, I had hashing the truth of the whole thing. And I'll say, I had forgotten. This is actually a place where Bethany's whole thing about new cycles makes sense. Because I had forgotten about that rumor. I feel like actually the people who keep these rumors,

as you just said, in the public's mind set is Shannon, all these ladies. I, you know, I can't remember, you know, that was six months ago. That's an eternity in podcasting life. You know, it's hard for me to remember anything. I remember weird shit, but, but sometimes these rumors that come and go, they're so frequent, I don't even remember half the stuff. So they, they need to take Peggy's advice and stop talking about it. Yeah. But what's it just cut it out? But what's funny is that Kelly was like well to be fair. I was the one who said the stuff about your husband

Yeah, she's like, no, that's okay because it was Mickey told you about it. Yeah, and then she did her whole Well, you know, Megan first of all but just English some more she goes Ficky's ammo is that she'll like pit people against each other. I'm like her ammo her M O Megan. And then she's an I'm an adult adult justice. Western sticks and your justice. ammo is something that you put in a gun. So Shannon is like, well, you know, like that night, for example, that night night night, I just wanted to have fun with you. But then Ficky got in your ear and told you that we're gonna try and get you to drink.

And it just wasn't true. And then we see the cliff of Sanhed literally doing the Felix cat eyes looking back and forth and then getting up and sneaking to the waiter and whispering. We're gonna want some to make it a double, make it have a bus boy come over have her mouth held open with something And then poor liquor down it, okay? It's that and then also film it on your cell phone camera, so it can't be cut out later got that So then So then of course then Shannon launches into her favorite string or favorite line of self-pity. She's like, you know what, I gain my weight from Ireland.

I didn't know. Are people going to find out about this allegation? And as my daughter going to be affected, so I just have to eat donuts until I can forget about it. And guess what I haven't forgotten. So more donuts, please. These are on Ficky. That child did was because of Ficky gumbelson. Call Domino's you see the first Domino was Ficky saying something and it

hit another Domino. What's hit another Domino? Now look at me. Do you know how many free pizzas I have earned this this week alone? Kelly I have tried to avoid the noise several times and I just simply can't do it anymore. So Kelly is drunk. And when Kelly gets drunk, that's usually when she's like, eat something or whatever, she gets horrible. But this time she does the crying thing, which is my favorite Kelly apology,

a drunken crying apology. Shannon's like, I get it. I was embarrassed and Kelly's like, I believe you because maybe that time that you had your friend come after me. That was so embarrassing. And that was in the public. And she's like, I didn't when my friend came after you at that 80s party where David looked like the most handsome version of Mr. Roper ever created. And I heard that lady say that after I told her to come over there and say it. I was just so shocked. And Kelly's like, I believe you even though we see the clips of Shannon just lying her

ass off, you know. And she's like, I opted wrong to go and I opted wrong today, man. I'm so sorry for that. Do you think my mom should move into a home? Like how much can someone watch Matt Lager? So they're drunk and they're crying and they hug and they just, they have a truce. But as Megan says, we'll see just how long this shoes last. And as we all know from Twitter and Instagram, not very long.

Yes, thankfully. As everybody has been posting on each other since to Graham Eat something just go ahead and eat something They're all big real classy right now And that brings us to an end to this episode. That was fun fun time Talking about real houses of Orange County still so fun and I can't wait for next week when Crazy Kelly returns her first return since quite woman. So it looks like she's gonna go after Megan this time around. And this time it stresses a man in hamburger marries.

Oh, remember who did we get a chance? Well, when that happened, did someone invite us to that? Oh, no, someone told us like the day after it was like, oh, Katie, Katie, because Orla did. Remember, she's like, I'm on my way us to that. Oh no, someone told us like the day after it was like, Oh, Katie, Katie, because Orla did. Remember, she's like, I'm on my way down to a hamburger. I think it was her. No, that was very recent. That was a different thing.

That was recently with the surre cast. This was for, this was like, you know what it was? We didn't get invited to it, but like someone, it's one of our listeners said, oh my God, they're all at hamburger marries. You guys should go now, but we already were out and about doing something else. Also, like I don't care. I mean, but thanks for telling us, that Did Vicky build this restaurant? Alright everybody, we will see you tomorrow with the Real Housewives of Dallas.

Oh my goodness, I can't wait. Thanks everyone for listening. Chat tomorrow. Bye. Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrap and Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.