Watch What Crappens - RHOC: The Great Icelandic Casserole Run
Episode Date: October 25, 2017The Real Housewives of Orange County head to Iceland. Who will fall into a crevasse? Who will find themselves in a Lynchian dream state? Who will almost die right before our very eyes? Also, ...this week’s bonus episode is all about Stranger Things, Little Shop of Horrors, and fonts. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to watch what
crap ends the podcast about all that
crap we'd love to talk about on
Yale Bros. I'm Ronnie Karem from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast,
and here I am with the gorgeous talented,
well-rested and sparkly-eyed Ben Mantelker,
the Beside Blog and the Banta Blinta podcast.
Hello, Ben.
Oh, howdy, how's it going?
Oh, howdy, Ben.
Everything's just going fantastically over here. What's going on over there?
Well, all sorts of excitement over here.
I got a flu shot today, and now my left shoulder feels like someone punched it.
I read too many conspiracy theories to ever get shots at the doctor,
unless I'm dying from something.
I think they're trying to control me.
Are you an anti-vaxxer? Please don't tell me you're an anti-vaxer. No, I know I'm not.
I got my vaccinations as a kid.
Well, some of them need to be refreshed.
Yeah, I'm like my genitis.
Well, yeah, but someone like me, I can't be an anti-vaxer.
Like I'm going to be afraid of metals or whatever they're putting in my body.
You know, I put all kinds of things in my body.
Like it's only the ones that'll really help me
that I won't get.
I was just playing.
Um, so today is Real Housewives of Orange County,
which we're very excited to get to,
because you know, Black Sand and Castorals,
but also our show in San Francisco's coming up
on the 4th of November, at Social Hall,
we're so excited.
Can't wait to see you guys there.
Come.
Come be fun.
Come and let's like just have a San Francisco moment.
Let's let's create an app altogether.
We'll have like a Silicon Valley moment, but then we'll also celebrate
peace and love.
So it'll be like a retro 60s moment.
And then we'll all go to like a,
we'll get in leather stirrups.
And so it'll be like a full-sum moment.
Yeah, and also it's so close to Thanksgiving
that we can all be like, oh, I'm so thankful for you.
I'm so thankful for you.
And we can say things like, my mom used to say to us like,
hey, Turkey.
Hey, Turkey. Hey, Turkey. Hey, Turkey. Um, yeah, I'm like extraordinarily excited.
That's next week. That is next week. And I'm so excited.
Let's carry on up there with my boo. I know you're going to be up there with
your sister. It's going to be like a full, it will be a full house.
This is not my sister. This is my cousin Jenner.
Who is my sister?
But my sister, I will get up there one day, damn it, to one show.
And she's got a love act.
It's going to be a family affair.
It is.
That's going to be a good watch, would say.
It's going to be a kind of quick trip.
I was hoping to do like a really long time in San Francisco, but, girl, this Bravo schedule
is a killer, man.
It's like, okay, be home at seven to take.
You just five hours of hearing.
Yeah. Thanks, Bravo.
Yeah. Thanks for jumping.
Everything.
We're going to have to deal with like five new shows, five reunions.
Who knows what else?
But God, they're going to be fun.
And it's going to be a really great way to recover because we're both going to just
be getting home, sitting there with hangovers, possibly smoking gigantic blends to get us through the night of note-taking,
at least one of us. Yeah, it's going to be a fun week. But until then, we've got what we've got,
which is real house-wise of Orange County. Yeah, real house has a Orange County. I don't know if you
have noticed Amy Phillips's Instagram lately
or watch her on Watch What Happens Live,
but she has busted out her Kelly Dodd impersonation.
And it is so good.
Did you see it?
No, I haven't seen it yet.
I love her.
Oh, she is, I mean, she really is great with voices.
And her tamer impersonation is so funny.
She kind of really perfects the way that Kelly, how do you say it? She sort of
becomes not really nasal. I always feel like she squeezes out her words. She's like,
Timra, Timra, no, no. I've got to check that out. I love how I meet Phillips. She's so good.
Yeah, we need to call her and get her ass over here. She hasn't talked to us for a while and last time She did come my mic was so F that people probably turned that episode off in two seconds
I didn't realize I sounded satanic the whole time. Oh
It was like one of those days something was wrong with the Skype recorder or something. Yeah
That was I think during our
Five-year anniversary week. Yeah, and it's always
Times when we have really cool people on too.
It's like we did that with her or I did that with her because you weren't here.
And then we did one with Julie and Brandy that just sounded like dog shit.
Yeah, that was terrible.
Matt, we did one with this and it's like get it together over here.
Yeah, it's just a constant part of the crap and dialogue, which is,
yeah, we sound like crap at all times.
And yet, we persevere.
We will persevere because people, we went, Ron and I went to a panel at the writer's
guild a few years ago where we heard people weigh in on what makes a podcast successful.
And these guys were like, it has to sound amazing.
The audio quality has to be amazing well
We're here to show you you can have very mediocre audio quality and they'll have successful podcasts everyone you can do it too
We're so proud. We're so proud proud of mediocrity. So speaking of which orange County. Oh my gosh orange County so wow
You know someone could die This is someone wow, you know, someone could die.
Someone could die.
Yeah, someone could die dead.
Yeah, the sun always shines on these ladies, at least for this episode.
Yeah, guys, someone could be dead.
Let's appreciate all these housewives while we have them because you never know when Shannon and Tamer's meanness is going to give someone a stroke or a heart attack.
Yeah, exactly. Truth is organic.
Lies are members of the Gumbelson family.
They die because of lie, okay?
You heard it here first.
So for those people who are complaining that the season is moving at a glacial pace,
they finally decide to literalize that feeling by putting these women on a glacier this
week. Like, look, you keep saying we're moving at a glacial pace
But you see we're faster than the glacier look. They're climbing on it. We're a little faster than a glacier
Look there's some there's some quicksand to
Slowly drown in there everyone anyone want to go in there
My favorite part about a glacier is it reminds you my marriage sort of frozen over and
Descending very slowly down the mountainside and causing mass destruction and raising oceans
everywhere.
David frozen in a glacier.
His eyes would still be like kind of popping out and a chip would be halfway up to his
mouth.
I never felt more like a glacier than when Megan King Edmonds peed on it.
Sort of like me with David.
David. David. David. They're making that glacier fat with air. She's treating them.
I might. You see all the size. This is Mickey Gumbelsen.
So I was just a patch of ice before. Well, I really love when Vicky's like,
patch of ice before.
Well, I really love when Vicki's like, um,
don't let's get to understand this plat line.
Don't let's get it.
So as they're driving in the van around Isom, she's like, it's Iceland.
We're in Iceland.
Okay.
Thanks, Vicki.
Yeah.
Thanks for the update.
Thank you.
Glad you're here.
So Vicki is wearing some like, past me to think with a fur collar.
I don't know why that cracks me up.
It's just Vicki's dress like she's on a different show from everybody else at all times.
Well, she kind of is on a different show.
Like, she's, I don't even know what show she's on.
I think she's on an infomercial and it's playing late at night on like the DIY town,
not even HUTV DIY.
You know, the one that no one watches, but it's just there for some reason.
You know what that means? Die. It's a different way to smell like die, which I could do.
If everyone's, which I might do, if everyone's me to be through the little trip, I can't say everybody be.
Bjork. Sorry for sneezing by the way, I was looking for the mute button,
but it was so far to the left of my trackpad.
I didn't, I didn't even notice this, Nees.
I have a mute button right here on my microphone,
but this Yeti blue microphone, yeah,
I mentioned a brand because I'm calling the brand out.
Like, I would say two out of the seven times
you hit it, it doesn't actually mute.
So I'm like all ready to like blow my nose or cough
and like, damn it, work mute button work.
Oh, so you haven't been calling me that stupid little baguette on purpose that's
nice no it's aimed at my blue yeti microphone mute you son of a bitch what
did I ever start this with you it's classic sitcom moment um you didn't
change the phone line sorry I was trying to be bulky, but instead I was like, I'll honk on the
jet since. Okay, so just road runner actually to be fair. You guys might wonder why
we're talking about nothing. What are we talking about? We're talking about these
bitches in Iceland. I would really through most of it. And I love this show. I've
even liked this season, even though it's been mostly, you know, boring to most of the viewers.
I, I've liked it, but this one is really pushing me.
I have to say, it's really testing my patience.
Yeah.
In terms of, I mean, this episode,
or was making an effort on this goddamn trip,
not even one effort, okay?
Lydia is.
Lydia, I mean, she threw a menu,
but it was the dumbest fight ever.
It's like you can't go from throwing a plate to throwing a menu, like 15 episodes later.
It doesn't work like that. Yeah. If whatever your throat is laminated, it just does not have the
same effect. Yes, called heightening Lydia. Okay. That's what you're laminated.
Next week someone's gonna roll up some tin foil and toss it somewhere.
You can't just throw something that is easily wiped off.
Yeah.
Okay.
Something that has been like designed to not make a mess
for easy cleanup.
You can't, that cannot be a prop in a fight.
We need something that can shatter,
something that can spill, something that can get wet,
something that'll make someone wet, something that'll stain.
Yes, and she should know.
She should know.
She should.
She should know.
So the first thing the first place these girls go to
is a store.
And of course, Kelly's just walking through
I said being Kelly.
She's like, my girlfriend told me guys here
are big winners.
Yeah.
Classic Kelly.
Yeah, they go to a store for shop, to shop for gloves and boots or whatever.
Yes, and Vicki and Tamer are like being all joky.
You know, because Vicki is like, how do I put it out?
I don't know how to do it.
What would you, you know, because she does that thing where she becomes like,
where her silly mode is becoming totally defenseless and an idiot, you know, she's like putting a box on her head,
like, Tamara, this doesn't fit me right.
Hey, I've tried to make this hanger like,
stand by a buffet, like this is like, last is right.
It's like no, no, Vicki, that's a hanger.
Okay.
So Tamer's being joky with her, you know,
and they're both like, whoa, this is crazy.
Like, I'm having fun with Tamer.
And Tamer's like, I'm having fun with camera. And I'm having fun with that.
That's and Kelly is like, do I look like Kenny from South Park?
He's the other guy pulled all the way down.
And time was like, yeah, especially when you open your mouth, which
it was just you don't even know what South Park is, Tamara.
Just be quiet.
Okay.
You're talking about Cartman.
Kenny's the one that always had his face covered and they killed him every single
episode? Which kind of is like Kelly?
Yeah.
It's like season one, it's Kelly season one, where every time she showed up they're like
let's kill Kenny!
I did like that she brought out South Park because that's basically my tamer impression.
Yeah, I mean tamer is kind of like.
Fuck you mom!
Yeah, she really is Cartman, if you really think think about it and Cartman's greatest fear is being erased
So you see how it all comes together?
Yeah, exactly so of course that's part of this is Shannon trying things on because she's like well
Hello, I slained is there an XL here because this is a medium out. This isn't gonna work
Oh, geez. What am I supposed to do, too? Are people in eyesight just all small?
Am I the biggest thing here?
Do people think I'm a snowman?
Why are people running for me?
Can I get some help?
Yeah, because Peggy's like,
do you have extra, extra small?
And you can't say,
ah, well, the goodness is a shop of these girls.
I know there'll be plenty of largest and extra largest available on the rack for me.
48-15 negative hub. That's how you say that in Icelandic. Definitely good.
Thank God these snow suits are water resistant to resist the tears that will be shooting down them for the rest of the day. My tears will turn into miniature glaciers on my cheeks.
And Tamra's just going out of her way to make Shannon cry. I don't
care what anybody says. She's like, Oh my God, I remember that
time we shot in the other place. You don't even have a memory to
fill into sentence with. Tamar, stop trying to make a
Shannon cry on purpose. Yeah, I didn't like when she tried to
pay those shdened.
She's like, well, how much is this?
They're like, it is $99,000, $145 million trillion,
$18,9970, $40,000.
And she's like, what is that?
An American money, $9.50, okay.
I like, they're bad.
I had to go, how do I pay? How do I pay do I pay in like in do I in like fossils ice cubes
How do you do things here?
Please tell me that scales don't measure like that too
Thank you Iceland. I am now 47 trillion pounds
David David did you know that Iceland called me a 47 million pound drocha? David do you know up here they don't call it weight watchers they call it killer
whale watchers. Oh my god that killer whale. So Megan has brought the baby I totally
skipped a lot of stuff. Megan brought the baby and the nanny to breastfeed.
And she's like, I'm really glad I brought Aspen.
She really lightens the mood too.
And they just sit there while the baby is growing and kind of ignore her, which I think you
should do. You shouldn't just pick up your baby every single time it cries, right?
No, I mean, you know, it's called forborizing, I believe,
forborization. There's a doctor named Dr. Ferber who is like, ignoring your child. Although,
I don't understand what part of like, bring your child all the way to Iceland is involved
in forborization. But, but yeah, she's like, it's so calming
out of you, baby here. And the baby Kelly's like I think I need to throw up
So then they get back into the van after they go shopping and Kelly's just asking all these questions that ison
She's like so Iceland how big is it? How much light does it get are there UFOs here? Is it like their stonehenge?
The other mountains are the rivers?
Do you have anything else here?
Do you have your live?
Does anybody know anybody named Michael here and is he a prick?
Funny I think yes don't hedge our UFOs and he goes we have elves and Peggy's like quiet shut up
Bavik
Thank God Kelly's being obnoxious because it's the only time Peggy really gets a line
You know no questions in Bangkok. No questions in Van Gogh
Gellie talk like a ball bouncing in living room non stop
No, no
No, so they get to go write all these horses to take them to their
hotel and
Shannon, you know, everyone's like wow horses. I don't know. There's just so much exciting things going on
And these ladies I get that they just flew forever
But I also get that they have every prescription under the sign. Does nobody have Adderall to share?
I mean, make an effort.
You're on TV.
Yeah.
So they're like checking into their hotel and everyone is like everyone has a room that's
themed and Lydia is starts talking about how this this trip is full of adventure and
wilderness and she just really hopes that everyone's going to embrace it.
I'm like
You know who you're traveling with right? These are people who freaked out when they were sort of crawfish in a plastic bag If you see things ago, okay, do you think they're going to embrace the adventure of Iceland?
You were saddened to take it. Well, Sam and did try see it's like she did oh
Wow
Wow, this is so hip
So so hip. So, so hip.
Shannon was put in the penguin room.
Everything was black and white, and there
were little penguins around, which I thought was funny,
because you know that she was spiraling the moment
she saw the penguin.
She's like, hmm.
That's reminding the marshall of penguins.
That's when a mother of penguin and a father of penguin
they work together to raise a child in a larger community
of me. Stay together and the husband goes off and gets a fish and brings it back and the wife
goes off and gets a fish and they're just a very happy couple. I wonder what that's like to be a
penguin couple. Well, penguin aspirations. I love that movie where the penguin husband was actually happy to have a wife that waddled. Huh!
Buh! Buh! Buh!
I guess I don't know.
Oh, what a nightmare!
I'm refreshing!
What a refreshing concept!
A husband that goes off to provide instead of going off to a Spartan race.
A Spartan penguin race.
Oh, look at that! A husband who brings a fish home.
Instead of pretending he just met at the beach and left it there.
40 to 15 negative waddles. That's what I have right now. Waddle, waddle, waddle. Hang on,
well. Here I am one lonely little penguin, Anna. Glacier that's drifting away from everybody
and doesn't know why. Global warming. Will not bring me down!
You know, I'm a little sick of David hanging out with all those puffins.
Doesn't he know what a real penguin is? Doesn't he know he's got a real penguin at home?
Here, like Shandamador killed, why can I slow?
I feel something for this puffin because it's a normal little penguin
that was bullied when it was labeled a puffin, but the other normal little penguins.
Well, I'm sorry, you didn't fit in little puffin
Do I do I like it when David hangs out with weapons? No, no
Hmm, I'm really glad that Santa is getting some time away from David. I feel like
She really needs to be in a space where she's not hearing out
to be in a space where she's not hearing just staring at her, you know, like, abusively. And accusing her of being, accusing her of being raised with a silver spoon and they're
a person who's somehow less being less adequate.
Yes, I just, there are so many ways to abuse a person to use potato tips as one of your weapons.
That's just, that's just wrong, David. I will never ever be on David.
I'm sorry!
Be on David.
Especially because every potato chip is just a reminder of how she messed up the mashed potatoes
in her first season at the dinner party.
They normally turn out perfectly. I have to put them in the microwave. David.
David.
Oh, so they keep going around to look
at all these different places and the three ones.
It's like hello, I'm Friedrich.
Oh, you could sit in the bath with the doors open.
It's like, okay, Perv.
Yeah.
Vicky winds up in an African themed room,
which I just thought was hilarious.
I don't know why I just felt like.
Perhaps those were first like, perverse interaction with a black person or black culture in any sort of
way.
Until Steve, until Steve appropriaged that culture to win like the sheriff's vote next
time he ran.
And then Lydia was in the Royal Suite, which didn't really look very royal. It just was like
the one suite that didn't have all sorts of crazy cultural, you know, design and decor.
And it was just like couch and chairs.
Yeah, white plethora couches.
That's very Lydia.
Just like give the vanilla room to Lydia.
Yeah, exactly.
I was cracking up though
and Vicki got the African room
because it goes, this is the African room.
And she goes, yes, it is.
Well, I mean like
it's hilarious that Vicky is gonna be sleeping under all sorts of tribal masks. How in Iceland
how is this possible she's like this mess would talk to me whoever those girls are in my
room are really that treating me well. Okay I want to, I just want to, I'll be okay, masks.
The masks told me that they saw Eddie
giving a blow to someone.
Well, I spread it.
Well, I said, I just spread it.
I was just repeating it.
I wasn't spreading it.
I was just repeating it.
I just repeating when the masks told me
they got trouble masks.
I heard it for Africa.
So, the amount of Africa.
In the Asian room,
Tamara and Fickier cracking up,
because the
The bathtub is just this big square planter box like from us. Yeah, and Vicki's like oh my god Hold my back. What do you poop at this poop and like see squast a poop
Which you know is really like an olive branch to Tamra because that's what they did together
You know they make poop jokes and
And Vicki just she's just cracking up over the spot. She's like,
Tamara, what is this reminds you of? Valley, Valley, Valley, Valley, Tamara, Valley,
Valley. And then Tamara's joining in even though she's kind of faking it. She's like,
Oh, yes, bad. This is a lab. Yes. And they're both kind of like trying to follow all over each other,
laughing all the sudden. and Shannon's like, okay
Well, I see what's happening here, and I will make an effort so she comes in with these big wooden plank
Like flip flop things. Yeah, and she's like
Wow
And they just kind of look at her they They're like, we're not gonna get your joke.
We're talking about pooping and out.
What?
Back to the back.
And then Tamron, Vicki, get into,
there's like a little table where the,
the floors were sunken beneath the table.
So you can, you can sit at the table on the floor,
but your feet will still go down.
And they think this is like the most hilarious thing they've ever seen. They're seen like oh my god. Oh my god. And they're just like cracking up. So Peggy is like
Geos to you to being happy again, you know, and Chad is just like watching this from afar
Slowly getting angry or being well
I'm gonna go wind down
News flash you know what else is hilarious? I'm gonna lie down on my bed.
You know, it's so hip, my hip hangin' bed.
Anyone?
You know, waddle off and be alone on my glacier.
Like a poor sad little penguin who lost his mommy.
Anyone?
Okay.
And Tamra's like,
Of course you're gonna be dead.
Ehh.
Like you're really, I mean you got a hand at the camera at least she's like this
season is boring as Fox so maybe I'll try and start a fight with Shannon.
Let's make Shannon cry in the middle of nowhere that should be fun.
Well I'm, I'm Chilli Willie.
What can I say?
I shake and I'm blue.
Then Shannon's new song.
I got a light down.
Okay, gotta go to bed. Gotta light down. Pop,'s new song. I gotta lie down. OK, gotta go to bed.
Gotta lie down.
Pop, gotta lie down.
Gotta go to bed.
Gotta lie down.
I was like, OK, we heard you.
Here lies Shannon's door.
She needs to lie down.
Here's lying down, Shannon, bedore.
Hi, I'm so happy.
I love this.
I think this is a good trip.
This is a great trip.
I think it's wonderful that Mickey and Tamer
get along again.
I'm so is a good. He's a great trip. I think it's wonderful that Mickey and Tamer are getting along and I'm so happy.
Before I got a bed, has anybody breaking breaking breaking breaking breaking news.
Oh, please tell me someone didn't die.
I'll tell you what died.
People's chances of coming to our San Francisco show.
We are sold out.
We are sold out.
Oh my God.
This is the best news for everybody who's sick of us saying that shit.
The beginning of the show, including us, by the way.
I would like everybody back to the venue.
I'm so happy. I'm liking back to Ben you. So happy.
I'm liking to shout in the door, bud.
We didn't do it.
You did it, man.
You did it.
Crapeners.
You did it.
Geraldine's.
Ha!
Wow.
Look at that.
I have to come all the way to Iceland and put on some wood
flip-flops to feel some support.
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Thank you guys. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. That's that's that's all she hasn't sleeps in the paper bed.
50 so lots a year.
Okay, I have got.
Okay, that's not.
I have got even bigger news.
This is going to make every sit down everybody and if you're sitting down,
make sure you're in an armchair so you don't fall out of it.
I'm in an armchair.
Okay.
Doug's foe hawk is even dumber over FaceTime.
Yeah, yes it is.
It is and so glad you said that because I thought about saying something about it and I was like, I don't know.
What is wrong with him?
I get that you're supposed to be loving and kind to your brothers at church but someone has to be like dude.
He's looking like the aliens from Toy Story.
Stop it, Doug.
Stop it, you're cute.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
I'm like, he's like, don't worry, stupid foe hawk.
I'm here wrapping the magazine.
It's like, that's going to be a great menu flinging article that you write because I don't
know what the hell else you're going to talk about.
The aerodynamics of a diner menu in Iceland.
Oh, vegetable soup is okay, I guess.
So I'm waiting to see what kind of disease
has been catches on this trip.
Yeah, because the next scene is Megan in her room,
which I don't know what room, what theme she got,
but it's like there's a giant buffalo head on the wall
And she's like you want to play with a buffalo?
And she said, I thought she said, want to say hi to puppy and I was like, now I don't want to be one of these obnoxious people on the internet
It's like, um, it's a buffalo, not a puppy, but for real, it's a buffalo, not a puppy.
You want to play with puppy like bitch. You're gonna give girly girl a real-body issue
Poppy I want puppy. She's gonna just be crying all the time like where's my puppy? That's not a puppy. That's not a puppy
That's a puppy dry buffalo
Buffalo dundee so I feel like that's just not safe. Like baby, little newborn baby shouldn't be touching dirty buffaloes. I don't
care if they've been decapitated, cleaned, shoved on the wall, okay? We're co-pettin.
So notice that Megan is saying a lot of things now that she's with her young cousin. She's
saying like a lot of young things. Like she's just shortening words now. I haven't noticed it because I usually fall asleep during
her scenes, but go on. I mean, I do it, but I'm gay. She's doing things like I'm gonna take this
rote and then her girl or her cousin's like, oh, but earlier Megan was doing that too. They're like,
are you excited to be here? She's like, excited. Like, she just keeps sorting words.
And it's just some tiny little thing
that is cracking me up,
because Megan's so...
Mischievous.
Yeah, she's just strange girl to hear her saying things
like that cracks me.
For instance, after she's done groping the Buffalo beard
with Aspen, she then gives the baby to the nanny and then stomps off
dressed like in 1987 Russian hooker, you know, like she looks she has this big furry thing around her
head, but then she's got weird fur trim all over. It's just it was just she's really struggled with
fashion this season. Well, she's really I mean her life's goal is just headpieces. She loves them.
And I like that little Aspen has that little helmet.
It's so cute on her.
That is one of the cutest damn babies on TV, by the way.
So cute.
She's always seems to be smiling.
But she has these cute little helmets for her.
And she even puts the Justice headbands on that helmet.
Yes, she does.
She cracks me just like doing that.
Oh, it flew on that to the helmet.
Justice.
Justice helmet. So Megan goes off to meet with the girls because it's 9 o'clock, but the helmet. Trust is. Trust is home.
So so Megan goes off to meet with the girls because nine o'clock with the sun still up. It still looks like it's four in the afternoon.
And because like, why is he sent to that?
What's going on?
It's difficult.
The sun's up.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
I don't know.
So they're all total party.
It's that even if that even dark out here.
What is happening out here?
Is that even that?
So they're all just sitting in chairs. The Linde is like, um, Iceland sort of just looks like
Mississippi at 3 p.m. Which I thought was funny. I mean, I feel like that's probably not true,
but where they were sitting, I can sort of see it. Megan's like,
I'm really happy. She's in a sleep suit. And Lydia's like, well, Shannon said she was staying
in and that text that she said to everybody. Everybody got that right. Everybody got that
text right, right? Right? Right? Everybody? Everybody. Yeah, the thing is that Megan, when she
said that she's like, yeah, her husband's in a crib now, they cut to a photo of Aspen
in a crib. I'm like, I don't know if we really needed
the photographic evidence.
Like, I think we just go on, on megas,
is this season so boring that you have to fill time
in the episode showing a picture of Aspen in the crib?
I would have preferred to think that Aspen was like taped
to that Buffalo head while the cousins off like,
parting, you know, blowing the hot Icelandic man in the town.
We all know that Buffalo head comes alive at night
and plays with the babies and they have like a fundamental dance thing.
It's like where the wild things are.
Hello, Aspen. I am puppy.
I'm a Buffalo named puppy.
A-A-A is for Apple, Apple, Apple, and baby, baby, baby, baby, what be?
Do you want to come to my magical realm?
Follow me, husband, follow, get on back, the back of puppy, that's me, the buffalo,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Oh, this is Bjork. We lost baby. Bjork is trying to fly with her goose wings or his long wings.
Bjork's baby and puppy.
Bjork's baby.
And Fredrick's just standing under them with a little blink blink blink blink
and Megan's outside me like yeah she's probably just in the bed just like sleeping
the way through the night and chairman's like I saw baby I saw baby
Aspen she was walking through a wall with a buffalo puppy I thought I was
just tired I tried to follow but I'm on ice flowing
this round my water. That damn wooden flip flops wouldn't do anything. I was stuck
to the ground. I said, I said, Pappy, take me with you too. Come on, Pappy. Pappy,
Pappy just left me. Pappy? Puppy. 30 to 40.
Puppy.
Puppy?
Puppy?
Puppy?
Puppy, is there a shaker where you're going?
Puppy.
Puppy.
Do you see this dress?
This is Puppy.
It's right here.
Just this part right here is Puppy's dress,
because Puppy left me behind.
Oh my God.
That was our episode eight of Twin Peaks.
So, did you get to watch episode eight yet?
No, and I've read so much about it online
that I'm like afraid to watch it
because it's built up so much online.
That was our episode eight of Twin Peaks.
You know what it was?
That was actually our episode of one through 16 of Twin Peaks.
It's been going up with a Buffalo name puppy in New York
and Shannon watches on her penguin bed
drawing.
I'm trying to join, but Tal, it is left her behind.
Shannon, unable to make it through the wall.
So, people, the thing that we're having in real life, we're not that much crazier.
I know.
It's like now.
The third trick is like, let us have Black Death.
Now we are going to have one of our delicatessons. We are going to have something called Black Death. Now we are going to have one of our delicatessons.
We are going to have something called Black Death.
And I actually like this because, you know, Vicki of course loves playing up to him.
But in this case, I think this was natural because she tries the Black Death because she
goes,
Lalalalalala.
Lalalalalala.
Speaking of a Jettons car, it's like George Jettons running out of gas. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, poppy poppy do you think there's a there's something falling from the sky poppy do you think it maybe no okay who wants to eat black death
don't eat black death don't eat black death let me it don't do it if she can't hear me damn these wooden flip slops
so then um then Frederic's like. Excuse me. We have fermented shark.
Please don't smell it.
And Vicky said, yeah, I won't smell it
because that means I dealt it.
Get it.
Cool.
So they have to put it in their mouth
until they can't stand it
and then they drink the black death.
I was honestly very curious.
I would have totally tried this.
This fermented shark black death combo.
Yeah, and you know, it's a bravo trip,
so they have to do the obligatory Americans
are ignorant assholes.
Let's try funny things and pretend
they're gonna barf everywhere, seen.
So they all hate it, but then he brings out puffin'
and then Lydia's like, I feel kind of bad having puffin'
and Kelly eats it and she's like, oh, that's good.
That is fantastic. That is fantastic.
That's fantastic. If I were, if I were, what's a call, Zaggets, I would call it surprisingly
good. I was doing air quotes. Probably better if you could see me doing the air quotes. I was doing
like, Zaggett humor and then I realized, it Doesn't make any sense if you can't see the air quotes
Some people call it funky, but others call it fantastic
Hey said you know any guys ran here with big winners
So Peggy's like
She's like I've said nothing way, oh land everybody let us drink to Frederick
And he's like oh thank you didn't this remind you of the guy. He's always Thomas Keller
He reminds me or the guy
my
the guy from
Atlanta he was like sit down and oh, oh that guy. Oh Thomas Kramer Thomas K guy. Oh, Thomas Kramer. Thomas Kramer. Yeah, Thomas Kelly.
Shut up.
Oh, go home.
It was like him again, especially when they went into the African room. He's like, here we are in Africa.
Sit down. Shut up.
Oh, go home.
So by what we should mention that one of the reasons why Lydia did not eat the puffin is because when she was a little girl, there was an island called Puffin Island in Nova Scotia
where she was grew up.
And as she's talking about this,
the producers cut to up like a puffin flashback.
They do like the flash, the whole flashback
and went to go boom.
You know, like whenever they go to a flashback,
it goes boom.
And they just show a bunch of puffins on a rock.
And then it comes back.
That the jurors are having to really work hard.
Yes.
Fast view up the screen.
Whatever they can.
So Kelly, it's like literally smell my fingers.
I dare you.
So in Lydia's room, let's see.
They all sit down and Lydia is talking about the plan that they're going to, that the
next day, they're going to get on ATVs and then they're going to do a glacier hike.
And then this is when the bombshell the Icelandic bombshell falls
Lands explodes slides slides
It's in the freezing water in crushes a true pup puffins
And some shark that was already fermenting
So Vicki starts it off. She's like well
Shaddyset she was tired of that group text that group tax that we all got but what about tabra what about tabra
guys I want to ask tabra she remembers the valley when I got bug spread
Heather's eye and then Heather cried that was amazing I want to see if she's so
remembered it because we talked about it earlier but like we laughed so hard
maybe she forgot anybody anybody know what she is anybody
so uh Lydia's like wait there was, wait, there was a group text?
There was a group text?
I invited everyone here. Why am I not on it?
Oh!
And she's like, I'm tired of feeling that the ooooh!
Looks like someone got kicked off her own rainbow.
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But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
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that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.
Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
What would we do differently?
And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll
feel less alone.
So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,
I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wendry app. A care person. She's way aim grabbed her by the hair and threw the fuck off the rainbow.
I was just waiting for the cloud with the fishing rod, so like pick her back up and put her
back on the rainbow road.
For Lydia.
Oh, I'm in the place now.
For Lydia.
And I want to say at the very beginning of this, no matter what anybody thinks of Lydia out there, I believe it. I believe they totally left her out on purpose because we're talking about Tamra here. It's camera
It's Tamra. I remember that. I should have met you know, but those mistakes are usually planned the real mistakes are facial or
Hair hair related okay or like we've related in some way these kinds of mistakes are always planned with Tamra
Okay, or like we've related in some way these kinds of mistakes are always planned with Tama
Exactly, how do you say?
That's who put up it's never gonna get dark, you know, it's daylight that it's confusing me what it's a start
Okay, okay, you're lucky. We're even talking to you be quiet, please so the next day Peggy's like
How you doing Vicki and she's like oh my got accepted hour because you know what I like to do I like to whip it up.
Frederick told us whoop it up I put that Kelly whoops it up so we whoop it up
and then they cut to them eating a burger it's like the hotel bar. I look like
there were like a 7-11 or something like that and apparently they like made
their way to a bar where there was a class of 1987 reunion.
That was happening.
That was happening.
That was happening.
That was happening.
Class up, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, getting wasted last night. It's an important important plot point going forward. So Shannon and Tamara arrive in Viking hats because Shannon brought them in her suitcase.
And it's like this has Shannon be torn and all over it.
Literally her name tags on it.
It's has property of a shame, but or arg.
Still it and deal with the repercussions.
I would never, ever, ever use up valuable suitcase space on a Viking hat for Iceland.
Never, never.
Well, you missed the bad news. Fred Rick on Kukukukula Road or whatever.
Kukukukula.
What was she saying? She's like Kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuk Vicki just screaming and farting on people in public and like exactly slapped to the face by busboys in Mexico with their
producers are constantly trotting out these montages to remind us of days when the show is actually super funny and fun.
Yeah, she's like, but it's a different time now.
One day we were whipping it up and now I'm going to bed early with Shannon totally worth it.
Fucking at that.
Yeah, I mean like show would have been fun to crash like a class 987 reunion, but you know,
it also is fun.
A bugging hat.
Yeah.
You know what else is fun watching Shannon try and move in her dreams with wooden flip flops,
trying to chase a buffalo with a baby.
Batch.
That's fun.
Batch, I threw one of my wooden sandals at the Buffalo E fell into the ocean.
It was great. Batch, I wrote everyone's wooden sandals at the Buffalo a fell into the ocean. It was great
Batch I wrote everyone's dream. So here we go another van trip where no one has anything to say and
They're just sitting there in the silence staring at their phones
They need to outlaw phones by the way on these trips. So there's no one can just sit there and swipe through their shit
So they're all swiping through their phone and they're going through the swamp land. It basically looks like swamp, you know. Well, it's like water. Yeah, there's like a
big pool of water. Look at the water. Look. Oh, look. He's beautiful. Like the moment
Coco came into this world. Pure Doodie. So then they get to like they're going to go ATV
riding, which I always get very nervous on these shows
Do we not remember invite only Cabo come on now so which was follow up to real housewives of Orange County itself?
How many vehicular accidents do we need to have before they bravo like updates their their policies?
Well, we're on it that one was when when Tamer was driving a doomis crash the crash the
A.T. Glamis crash the
ATV and Vicki had to be helicoptered out and there was accused of taking selfies of herself later in the hospital without her neck brace
God I miss lassies and
It's so good sometimes they arrive in Haja Mar is there Oh god, I'm just gonna see it. This is so... Yeah, so sometimes.
So they arrive in Hajjah-Mah-R, is there...
Is there an instructor and they have to get into moon suits?
And, um...
You know, Shannon's like,
Hold on one second,
it's taking me a little longer,
because I'm in a medium!
Is this a big one?
You brought a big one, didn't you?
Oh, oh, great!
It's a medium!
Well, that's fantastic.
I wish you'd called a medium,
who could have told you that.
That version of Shannon is gone now. And new Shannon wants an extra large!
It's okay, now I had a heart to heart with Puppy the Buffalo. In my dreams last night and he said,
this dress will go away. The way will go away. Everything will be fine. It will be fine.
Ha! That's a happy! Thank you, Puppy. Ha!
Has anybody seen that baby with a helmet?
Because I think the puppy dog ate it.
The puppy dog puppy ate it.
So Vicky's like, so now Vicky is really going full force.
She's like, hey, Tama, member with her,
member that, member with the stall.
Hey, member with IP, you bet, put a VR in it too.
That was so funny. Do you remember that? Tama,ed in the store? Hey, remember when I peed on your bed and put over the Rna too? That was so funny. Do you remember that?
Timber, Timber! Timber! Timber!
Remember when I peed on your back porch two weeks ago? Oh, oh, I don't think you reported
that one. Hey, Timber. Remember that time we were in the
rest and we peed together? Oh, God.
It's like all of her memories have to do.
Hey, Timber, remember when the Steve Plantation we peed in the olives?
I think it's so awkward because Vicky can't
Repeat it be olives. I would believe that I've had the olives from soup plantation tastes like Vicky P Vicky P
Did no one's running to a soup plantation
You did I'm sorry I go into a few state when I have that many free corn muffins in front of me
It's like you give me 12 free corn muffins a brownie
Some blue cheese and like whatever whatever else they're piling on me there fugues state
It may not have been you it may have been my friend woe
woe
le
Who once had a so
I wish I could be like woe lay woley is like the cutest and the sweetest.
We're like nothing alike me and woley.
How could you confuse us?
I'm flattered.
I'm absolutely flattered.
So it's like, I don't think anybody said to me.
You guys would probably bond over
suplantation.
I've met woley.
I forgot.
I'm not woley.
Yeah.
Woley is just the best.
We love woley.
Love you, woley.
Woley, you keep doing you you you keep doing you. Yeah, well, I
That time we did that time we could be together the soup plantation.
Remember that. Hey, well,
well, hey, well, I remember me ate all those beats the soup
plantation and thought we were bleeding and I have a ass
later on. Remember that, well, I
So all this talk about being and Tamer is like, I'm not falling for this again.
Batch because Shannon cried all night when we were alone in our room.
So she just paused and she is, I guess that means somebody's gonna have to pee on something.
And then she goes, you know what? You know what? Batches. I best loose in Ethel.
I was like, you are no loose and Ethel, ma'am.
You are neither.
And unless you're the Ethel, okay?
And I don't remember anybody accusing Fred Mertz of being gay.
So, can I, I feel like Vicki and Tamra
watching those chocolate balls go down on the conveyor belt.
They would just watch them.
Like, what does this do?
And Vicki, like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what these chocolate balls are working. They need to work. Let's pee watching them. Like, what does this do? And Vicky's like, I don't know. I don't know why these chocolate balls are working.
They need to work.
Let's pee on them.
OK, bats.
They're just like standing over a whole assembly line
peeing on chocolates.
Like, you guys are getting the vats of grapes also.
Peeing all over Rikki's bandstand.
Hey, Vicky, check this out.
Oh,
Vicky.
So they go HVN and it's like the typical eight like Bravo HV montage,
like, driving, driving, I'm going fast, I'm going slow, driving,
driving, driving, and they like make their way to the coast and
they're just driving around. And at one point, they're off their HEVs
and they come across some bones.
And then they're like, oh yeah, they're like,
what is that?
They're like, it's whale bones.
And then Megan goes, that's a whale.
And he goes, actually, it is a killer whale.
And they're like, whoa. And the music stops and you just hear the wind like
You just stare as they just stare and they're like okay, let's go back
That was fun looking out a symbol of our season
They made it all the way there and that was our end point. They're like, okay, let's go back.
Hey, temperate, you want to pee on the whale? You want to pee on a no?
Okay, I'm gonna ask you to go back. It's a, it's a, it's a whale. It's got, it's, it's,
it's a whale. You could be on it. Sorry, fat. I don't support Sebald. No, no, temperate,
it wasn't Sebald. It's just, it's just a, it's just a natural kid that will. It's Norca.
Are you calling it Akka?
We call it Torca.
OK, Kelly, thanks for Chabu did there.
So, or can you?
All right, Kelly, that doesn't even make sense.
I'm glad we found another situation for Lydia
to be out of her element in.
She's like, this isn't biblical.
I have no references to what to be offended by.
There's no drag queens. There's nothing gay. I don't even know what to do.
Yeah. She's like, then she's bummed that the women don't seem to be as blown away by Iceland.
As she thought they would be, I'm like, these are like five ladies from Orange County.
They'd be more blown away by a new, you know, receipt styling on
a Neiman Marcus, you know.
Oh, so they go to have a lunch on top of a waterfall and because I will.
A stagophos waterfall.
Well, that is a big waterfall.
Could you go chasing it?
Get it.
That's a song.
Song with black people.
I know that's I'm in the African room.
Doke Tasty, what are you? Would you catch him? He get really wet.
I like that song because it's a song by a group called TLC. And that's how they want TLC and the C stands for casserole. That's what's the weed, right?
Don't think of that. Shut up. I just want TLC. I just want TLC.
So the music really isn't helping the fun level.
It's like, but I'm cheap.
Sallow, where's Sallow, where's Sallow, where's cheap?
And then on the end, you go.
Wow.
That's me doing Vicky singing, and go. Wow. That's me doing Vicky singing.
And yeah, wow.
So then immediately at lunch is the most awkward lunch ever because it's lunch in general and and everyone's bored.
And on top of that, you know, a tamarind chanada wearing their biking hats.
And I'm like, Oh, we're Americans.
I'm embarrassed now.
like in hats and I'm like, oh, we're Americans. I'm embarrassed now.
Yeah, well, we've all been to like Disneyland or the fair
or whatever when there's those dudes who wear the caps
with the beer cans on top and then they have straws
that come down to their mouths and they just look like
really bored and tired and like they just want to take an app
and you're like, your hat's not convincing anyone
that you're having fun.
It just makes the hat even sadder, you know? I know, I know. So at the restaurant some people get up to go to the bathroom and everyone's
pretty much sitting and settling down at the table. So Shad ends next to Tamer and she turns
to Tamer and she's like, all right. So I consulted with Papi the buffalo in my dream last night
and he said that there's a chance that Lydia might be a little frosty.
That's a nice, lind reference about the fact that you left her off the group text and I was looking through it and it turns out that you
was trying to group text and you left her out, which is hilarious to me, but it's gonna cause a problem.
I do not want to be the only puffing on a glacier, Tamra.
Please. Please. I can't get these strange catarollin' on a glacier, Tamara. Please.
Please, I can't get these strange catarolls out of my head.
York was in my dream.
It doesn't even sound like music, and yet I want to sing it.
Why does that woman have wings if she's not gonna fly?
Why is she doing in the dirt?
Why does she sing like that?
She was just singing off these things, puppy buffalo.
Wouldn't flip flops how
are those lyrics they don't even rhyme P.M. I don't even get it she looks Asian but
she's my sling so time was like I didn't even run yeah she did when you
posted that bathtub picture of yourself and Vika you didn't include her bitch. It's like, what am I?
She goes, squall up.
She's like, her name is right there.
And Lydia's like, well, I didn't even say anything about it.
I mean, it doesn't matter.
Don't say it made it up, though.
Oh.
Yeah.
So Lydia's now getting annoyed because,
I mean, she was already base level annoyed
about the whole thing, but she probably was going to let it just go.
But now that she's seeing Tamer's reaction, Tamer's like, what, you're mad because I left
you off a group text?
Like, Sarah Slay and Leo's now like, well, don't make a sound like I'm crazy.
You don't, you're just trying my feelings.
Also, she's mad because it's Shannon whispering about her again, even though she knows what
it's for, but it's like, shut up, mom.
Which is very sad. Which is, mom. Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad.
Which is very sad. Which is very sad. Which is very sad. Which is very sad. Which is very sad. The group text that you were involved on, that timer started. Yeah, she's like, in it for her tints.
Do you understand that word?
She's like, shut up, mom.
And Lydia's like, well, Lydia's saying right.
Exactly.
Well, because they're like, because the chance says,
well, I thought your films were hurt.
She's like, they are.
And then that's when Tamra is like, because you run on a group text,
I'm like, shut up Tamra.
You're just as petty as this, and if it was on the other end,
you would not only be making a big stink, you'd be causing an entire like war to brew and you
turn people against each other because of the tech.
So just for the mention your gaslighting her, I mean, everybody's saying that Lydia keeps
gaslighting Shannon.
This is total classic Tamara to gaslight somebody like this.
Like, oh, you weren't invited to that dinner.
Nobody knows why.
Nobody will admit why you weren't invited.
Oh, okay. Now you're off this group text and nobody knows why it was
just a mistake. It's just a random mistake. And so Sandin's like, well, I find that
childish that I would never act that childish.
And they got to the clip of Shannon going up the Heather and being like, this is my
chair, Heather. Yeah, I had forgotten about the chair fight and I can't believe it.
Cause one of the most amazing fights that ever happened on any of real housewives
franchise. Well, if you want to stay that chair, I'll take this chair.
I'm trying to figure out how old Lydia's Lydia is.
Give me back my chair Heather.
And Lydia Lydia is now saying like, yeah, this like, because they're like, it was just an
oversight bitch.
She's like, yeah, it wasn't oversight because you weren't thinking of me.
And then Tamara's like, why would I purposely leave you out, bitch?
I'm like, because you're a Tamara.
That's how you operate.
Yes.
How about, why can't Tamara just be like, oh, oh, geez, sorry, yeah, that was total accident.
Like, what?
I'm almost 50.
It's crazy.
Instead of being like, why are you upset? I'm just, just like, just, just say it's not my fault. That's all I need said here. Just say it's not my fault.
And Lydia's like, you're discounting me and acting like it's that big deal.
Oh, she throws the menus at camera.
And it's like not even a violent throw. The, the menu's just sort of like glide over softly
across the table and like, and like, land landed at little sort like that that laminate
attempt like that. No, that's actually too aggressive. Like that. Like that. You're bouncy
noise that laminated menus make. Yes. I'm like, boom, boom. Yeah, it's not even like a pen.
It's more like I don't even have how do I have nothing like a menu? Everyone knows what it sounds like.
So, um, salmon, I don't know, like we need an example immediately. Yes. Well, we become the
we should come to American life or whatever. Um, so Shannon's like, okay, I'm gonna take her chair
now that she's gone. No one minds. I'm surprised that Shannon's not like freak out. She threw
a menu at me. A menu. Is that a way of singing for it? Just take, I need too many of this order.
This is not my menu, bitch.
Ha, ha, ha.
Unfortunately, they were at a restaurant called the Kleegen Woman.
They have like some of my slandered guys sitting next to them
who has just disgusted.
He was like, did you see them draw the manual?
This is what started the first us land a quad menu troll
Look at this eruption they had a you like it that's Icelandic joke. Yeah volcano. We have enough black ash, okay?
So Lydia's like well, she's just so sad because she feels like she and Tamra have a bond because they They keep by the story
We share verses
I know I was like yeah, I've got it. I've got a verses mind your type on my car, right? No Bible verses
they cut to
The verses they've shared for Lydia's like Jesus please help Tamra be less erased and then you see a nobleman on the table.
It's like, there's nothing like, you know, promoting yourself as you pray.
Yeah. And so Lidio says that she's not bad.
She's not valid. I validated my feelings at all. I feel like I don't even know who she's being.
I'm like, she's being Tamra. That's what Tamra does. She does not validate feelings.
She causes them. She's like a terrible parking structure. There's no validation. Yeah, Tamer is that that
parking ticket machine that's like you
were one minute late. You owe me $20
batch. You're like, God damn it. I'm not
late. Yes, you are. She's she is 100%
the Kaiser Permanente parking
structure that I just went to today.
I had a physical and I was like, God
damn it. I spent $9 for an hour.
She's definitely not in Beverly Center, because Beverly Center, they're like, welcome to
Beverly Center. Please enter your ticket.
That's not that's not Tamara.
Yeah, it's not Tamara.
She's Tamara's that one that's like, pay before you get in your car.
And then you do.
She's like, you're too long to get to the to the bar.
Sorry, you have to pay again.
It's like wait a minute.
Tamara's the one that says, there are no attendance on duty batch.
Yeah, Timer is the one that's like a ticket that just disappears once it goes into your pocket.
And it's just like you are the $50 batch.
Mouse ticket.
Timer is the one that has a confusing diagram.
So you put your credit card in literally every orientation.
I can't read this card batch.
Please reinsert batch. Please reinsert Batch.
Please reinsert Batch.
Card unreadable Batch.
Or the $45 Batch.
Chambers that parking structure arm
that comes down too fast so you can't get out.
Oh.
The green man just set with your dumb Batch.
You have to pay a guy.
Batch.
You have to back up.
Your validation didn't work.
I can't reach your validation batch.
You have validation twice and you ruin your validation batch.
They're talking about Lydia while she's in the bathroom.
Like, why is she so sensitive?
I'll pour that little button.
And Nikki's a Vicky's like, you know what?
I'm 99% out this time so I can't say anything.
And then she throws a scarf on her head.
Yeah. You know know like Casper
Casper the woohoo ghost
Casper the Icelandic ghosts
Also known as puppy the buffalo
I was calling this episode Casper the wait Casper the casserole ghost that couldn't make it work
I couldn't wait no no don't call it Casper the casserole ghost that couldn't make it work. I couldn't wait no, no don't call it casserole
Don't love it. Yeah, no, no, I already didn't but I'm just telling you that that was just scarred a title
Okay, okay, I was trying to make I was trying to make Casper work because just the image of Vicki with that
stupid scarf on her head and
So Peggy goes to the bathroom to follow Lydia and Kelly, right? Who follows her?
Yeah, I think it's Vicki. Vicki and Peggy go to the bathroom door. I think it's Vicki. Maybe it's
Kelly. Yeah, I think it's Vicki and Peggy. It was Vicki and Peggy. They go to the door. They're like,
are you okay? She's fine. I'm just trying to pee. And they're like, are you sure? Yeah, I'm fine.
sure yeah I'm fine
It never feels good to be left out, but this is that by fight. They God. Yeah
Sorry, go ahead. I was just gonna say Vicky goes back to the table and then Peggy is like asking again and and Lydia's Like literally I'm just trying to pee like literally
The Peggy's like fine so that but then when Lydia comes I thought that it was so nice to peggy. Peggy's like, she wasn't like being too aggressive, but she's like, so you want to, you want
to go outside?
Get some fresh air, fresh air?
Because it looks like you may be holding ball.
So maybe we go outside.
We go outside.
You ball.
You ball outside.
Okay.
You ball outside.
And so she comes.
She comes.
She comes back to the table like, man. And you're like, and you fall outside. And so she comes back to the table like,
and she's like,
are you okay, honey?
She's like, well, I'm fine.
I just literally didn't like how you acted right now.
So I peed for 10 minutes.
It's done.
Totally.
I don't care.
I don't care, mom.
I'm here.
And make it like, but it's done, right?
Because I want to go on my baby.
Yeah, I don't care.
I don't care.
And they still have no service.
She's like, can we get some wine over here?
Yeah.
So then like this super rives.
And they're like, oh, it's vegetable soup.
And they're like, how is it?
And Lydia's like, it's good.
I don't know how to deal with this.
This isn't biblical.
And the waiter comes to check on them and Meg. It'sots like I'd like to order a kiss from my baby, please
Where's my baby?
It's hard. It's like really hard like I want to order a kiss from my baby, but it's not a little menu. Could you make that for me?
So this poor nanny comes like carrying like a million things like enters this
Enteres this place and make it like
She's like I'm gonna nurse the baby right here. They're like okay. We're gonna go on a hike
It's really hard being a mom like you know it used to be like what's Jim doing or like what's Hayley doing and now it's like
Who's watching the baby
It's like who's watching the baby?
You're looking so. Scheduling the nanny on your iCal.
It's like making your motherhood a living hell.
Yeah, exactly.
I love making some other head stories.
So the women go walking towards the waterfall
and they're all, I think it was Kelly, maybe,
who is the most know what you're like.
Where's the ice?
Where's Iceland?
I thought there's supposed to the ice here in Iceland.
Well, you know what my kids told me. They were like, yeah, I know. Yeah, well, they told me that
they call Greenland Iceland to get people to move there because it's really it's really icy.
And then they call Iceland. No, they call the Greenland Iceland so that no one will move here
because they want to keep all the green for themselves. Which is totally what I was taught as a kid too.
Yeah.
Huh, those Vikings, that sounds familiar.
Someone totally selfish, not thinking about others.
Not willing to make someone else happy for once.
Where have I heard that?
40 to 50 misled Vikings.
What did they used to call group text?
So so
so comes up to Lydia.
She's like, Oh, look, I thought this was a gold rig.
So I was going to give it to you, but it's just a piece of trash.
So you know what?
Look, I just want peace because I could die soon.
I'm old and I have heart troubles suddenly.
So I could have a stroke, you know, so that's right.
I just wanted to say, thank you for acknowledging your feelings because like the way that right now that you threw that
menu and acknowledged your feelings,
like you were like, I have feelings
and everybody was like, wow, you know?
And that would be friends.
And then he's like, well, I didn't want to make
a big deal because it is now, unfortunately,
because, you know, you threw the menu.
So-
It's basically like you order to hit
on one of the five families.
And you just, you don't throw many of the shenan.
That's all.
So before I die, I want to know that Shad is not
going to have bed you in Prince other head.
Okay.
It was really scary seeing the little maze
on the back of flying at such high speeds.
So Vicki and they even did the music thing when they were like, boom, when Vicki started
this, because obviously Vicki's like, okay, go fight some more.
You can't make up because they're going to fight with me again.
So go start some more fighting, okay, go over there.
Yeah, so Vicki, I can't believe that she, she's, she's, she's realizing that she overreacted
and she didn't, because she's like, I overreacted and she didn't because she's like I overreacted
He's a little bit
Yeah, right, you know, I want her to look for by mistakes. I was like those were not your mistakes
That requires like a master's degree. That's a lot of learning. Yes
So that's a whole college course
Yes. So that's a whole college course. So so Lydia goes over to Tamara to apologize for overreacting. And and Tamara, of course, is being such a bitch about it. She's like, well, you should have asked
me though first. Like you should have asked me first. Yes, because Vicki knows that Shannon, I mean,
Vicki knows very well that Tamara was ready to start a huge fucking fight about it.
You know, go over there to apologize.
It bricks me to her through a video, you know.
She knew that Tamro's gonna throw fit, and she was right, because Tamro was in her fit mode,
where she's like, yeah, you should have just talked about.
Yeah.
Hey guys, say hi to Michael.
Hey guys, say hi.
Say hi, because Kelly comes over with doing Snapchat or IG or something like that.
And like, Lee and Timer,
and like a low level fight here,
we're Timers like,
you should have talked to me first.
She just talked, hi, hi.
She talked to me first, Batch.
Yeah, she goes,
everyone do you a mat, but may a Batch.
So stop trying to turn your bullshit around
on everybody else,
because that's what she was mad about.
She didn't know everything that everyone else knew because of you.
So now she's taking the exact same thing that someone else has mad about that.
She actually did and throwing it back in their face.
I mean, what do you apologize?
And then Shannon just appears out of nowhere.
She's her, all I just said was that the fear of your feelings were hurt.
How's afraid?
They're puffins.
A lot of puffins around.
You know, the, the, the last person who knew that they were about to be eaten? That puffin. Is anybody calling them? Hey, last in my
check there was an puffin on our group text. So, Tamara obviously has no apology back. She's
just like, that's some comment. Ask me. But I guess it's okay. She Well she's she's I'm sorry if you're feeling hurt because I didn't mean to. Next
time just comment ask me Lydia's like
thanks. She's like I still can't get out of this
parking structure but at least I know that the
clear is still open. Next time I know to take a
new bird. So now they just they now they
all go glacier hiking on so the high medical glacier
spelled S.O.L.
E.H.E.I.M.A.J.O.K.U.L. at about a million accents.
Sort of high in my jacquole.
It's basically the L-Renton Ikea for anybody who's trying to match up.
It's my bookcase.
And so they get there, they have these instructors and they're like, look at the girls. She's so Iceland.
That is so Iceland.
I'm like, what do you think the girl's saying about you?
Hey, we're either one that caught puppy. We love him.
Thanks for putting him in the room.
He took, he took, I spent on a magical journey last night. They met Bjork.
And there was like a puffin island nearby. I think Shannon was there.
Good mother guys.
Like, I'm Olaf, like the snowman.
Shannon was like, oh my god, am I awake yet?
This is the best nap I've ever taken.
So, you're gonna keep us alive, right?
She's like, oh yes, until you fall into a crevice
and then we have safety equipment.
And Megan goes, what? you do people in crevices
Is that a store
Is that a hat store I could use a hat with a dent. Can we go to crevices?
It was joke Iceland joke our joke a very postmodern
So they start fitting on all their stuff and they're like, strap it on and can at least like strap on.
Oh, will you help?
I had a boom job.
And if it's not a job, I'm a work in progress.
And Olaf is like, oh, that is good.
So then they started climbing up the glacier,
which I was pretty impressed actually
because that was like a real hike
and they were all doing it.
And Shannon was like like she's like
my friend Spartan race Iceland I like it full of this
stopping as hard as I can I'm tough I might need to take a wrap cut to her on the
elliptical machine. God damn it.
And then Tamra just starts jogging after the rest of it.
She really wants to just make Shannon cry in the middle of a glacier.
That's like her goal.
And no one's giving Tamra what she wants, which bless all of you.
Yeah, exactly.
I feel like I'm in heaven right now.
Okay, who opens the gates?
Hello!
Hello, sweet Tamra! Thanks! I'm in heaven right now. Okay, who opens the gates? Hello.
Hello, sweet Tamra. Thanks.
So get to the top, Megan pees on the glacier.
And then they're like talking,
I don't remember if it was at the top or at the bottom,
but Megan's like,
it's climate change affecting Iceland.
And the guy's like, well, yeah, it's, you know,
like in 200 years, like no more glacier. And she's like, well, yeah, it's, you know, like a 200 years, like no more
glacier. And she's like, wow, great, great, great, grandkids. Don't even have this.
Yeah, they're gonna really miss this, especially once they've seen the real housewives of Orange
County do it. Yeah, exactly. They're gonna look back in the history books and be like,
remember when Shannon made it to the top of that glacier?
Unfortunately, our parents ruined it for us and we're now living on Mars.
So they come back down and it's like terrifying clown music while because it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And Shannon's like, well, coming up, you don't see this nonsense.
How it's all down.
No one looking at that.
I felt, I just, I got, I got tangled into my shoelace. That's all down. No one is looking at that. I felt I just I got I got
tangled I got tangled in my shoelace that's what happened. It's I wasn't feeling
some sort of out of body experience like I've been suddenly possessed by a puff
and I wasn't at all. They make it down and they're getting ready for dinner. Now in
one day, Kelly and Vicki have been so drunk.
You know how drunk they get when they're together.
Yeah, they've been out all day.
Then they had to climb a fucking glacier.
Okay, yes. So it's natural.
H-E-V-ing also, which is also a lot of energy.
Yes, and Vicki has dropped all day.
I don't feel good.
I don't feel good.
And this is a day they traveled across the world.
Yes.
So Vicki starts, you know,
her I've got well a week. Oh my god. Oh my god. I don't feel good. I don't feel good. And then we hear it. Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't And they opened this with a fog coming in over the city like it was once upon a time the great fog that changed everything forever in what's upon a time story land
I thought it was very lynchian honestly speaking to him to him beaks
I'm expecting to see a traffic light turning from like green to red or something
Vicki just staring at a waffle really closely. You're like, are those
tunnels people are going through? No, but it was just the pores of a waffle. But
Vicki has been staring at for five minutes as she tries to bar. Vicki is
Dicky. Is that what you're applying? I love it out letting him out of Dicky.
Yes, I love all of those David Lynch shots. It's like they're going through
tunnels. Deep mysterious tunnels. Oh, no, it was just the holes and a ceiling tile
So everybody's you know Kelly I couldn't tell
Kelly was a one he was trying to get to the hospital or Peggy. Yeah, no she did she did
But so Kelly and Peggy are taking her and get this point and you know Peggy's yeah, no she did she did but so Kelly and Peggy are taking her and we get this point and
You know Peggy's like oh no she played ball in house. She played ball in house after midnight
This is what I try to tell Coco Kelly's like you look like you're dying you look like shit
She's like that. I don't see that help. Hey Kelly's like okay. You're having anxiety attack. It's an anxiety attack It It's an anxiety attack. She's having an anxiety attack.
I'm so I know. I know.
It's an anxiety attack.
That is like she told me her arm went numb. Her heart is pumping.
And the only thing that will happen is something called catharol. What is this catharol?
Catharol. I make her raw meat gravely with catharol. I tell her Dolma and she says no, get the roll.
It turns out you cannot feed Vicky after midnight. She cannot see daylight.
And she cannot touch water and we did all three things.
Malshea is swinging from ceiling fan screaming, get the roll.
I don't know where she went last time I saw her, she was driving around Malibu Barbie Corvette.
I'm worried for her.
And Kelly's like, she has heart problems.
Yeah, my heart is racing.
My heart is racing.
Oh my God.
My heart is racing.
She's like, it's an anxiety attack.
I think we got to call an ambulance, alright?
It's almost time for dinner.
God.
And the ambulance comes with the hottest fucking ambulance. I love when it's
snowing and all the guys jump off the ambulance with like giant muscles and short sleeve shirts rolled
up. Rar. I know. They go, we up a lease and they go and they find Vicki. She's like in her bed.
They peel away the comforters and she's just like sweaty and the hair man down. She's like,
I felt good all day. I've been telling everyone all day. I don't feel good.
I've been telling everyone they all day. Yes, you said,
I'm having a hard attack. I'm having a hard attack.
Like Kelly just like pushes Kelly Peggy out of the way out of my way, bitch.
We were talking about shows the other day. I think on our bonus episode and we're
talking about how they drop storylines in at the very last minute and then try and make it seem
like it was planned all along.
It's just like poor writing,
and I feel like that's what Vicki's doing.
She's like, look, I have heart problems
two weeks before we're done shooting.
That I'm having a heart attack.
Will you ever fucking learn Vicki?
Jesus Christ.
I feel like that was the producer.
I actually suspect that this happened first,
and then they went back and shot the cardiologist scenes.
Oh my God, thank you.
Thank you for having more of a conspiracy theory than I would.
Yeah, because I like it.
It makes me feel less alone in this world.
Yeah, not by any.
Not by any Vicki, sorry.
But I hope you do get your cast role.
Look, it's the little girl who cried casserole, okay? I believe that she has hard issues.
You believe that she thinks she's having a hard attack right now?
No, no, I believe that she has hard issues. I'm just saying I
I don't I believe they went back to try to like make it more of a story. Yeah, well
I don't doubt that any of us have hard issues in America, but I do doubt that Vicki's like having a hard attack right now on a group trip
when she's got no attention from anybody. Yeah.
Don't buy it, Vicks. It is 104 degrees.
I know it was boiling hot outside.
Thank God I was able to get myself my Starbucks reward, which was this like
frappuccino thing. And I did it. You know what?
I especially did it today because one of our lovely And I did it, you know what, especially did it today because
one of our lovely listeners, RT, you know, RT,
I think that's how you say hi to RT.
She's so sweet and her friend,
I'm gonna give this podcast a real sad note here,
but it's a happy note.
She posted this thing, her friend is dying of cancer
and was moved into hospice care.
And the one thing that her friend really, really wanted was like a Starbucks with eggnog like the eggnog Starbucks
Whatever eggnog latte and she was afraid that she wasn't gonna be able to make it to Starbucks eggnog season
And so like a friend emailed someone that they knew at Starbucks and they referred someone someone else to like the Starbucks
President of US operations and they sent
this poor lovely lady in hospice and eggnog Starbucks out of out of season like today and so
RT was like that was so nice to Starbucks everyone go and get a Starbucks today so I was like you know
what I will do that even though it's gonna do it anyway but I will especially do it today so it's
not a it's like a it's a sad but nice story about how corporations can be nice sometimes.
Occasionally.
Feel better over there. God bless you.
Feel better, and everyone treat yourself to a Starbucks.
Love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.
Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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