Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Danes & Confused - Live From Seattle

Episode Date: November 11, 2018

The ladies of "Real Housewives of Dallas" head to Copenhagen, and to celebrate, we also trek to the North — specifically Seattle. Check out our recap of this hilarious episode live from Was...hington Hall. Thanks to everyone who showed up - it was an amazing time, but now we're exhausted. Our weave is exhausted. The panty liner on our underwear is exhausted. But we'd do it all over again! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson. Susie, going to the Tobin. Hava Nagila Webber. Hey, the Parker, the Parker Soros.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Ashley Savonis, she don't take no baloney. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! The incredible edible Matthews sisters. Give them ho! Mith Noel, Meena Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f- Watch what happens, what you're trying to do
Starting point is 00:01:25 It's killing stuff, I've been trying to do so much that happens I've been trying to do so much that happens I've been trying to do so much that happens I've been trying to do so much that happens I've been trying to do so much that happens It's than I do I'm a little bit more than I do I'm a little bit more than I do I'm a little bit more than I do I'm a little bit more than I do
Starting point is 00:01:52 I'm a little bit more than I do Oh my God, it's really good Oh my God, it's really good Oh my God, it's really good Oh my God, it's really good Oh my God, Seattle! You bitches are crazy! You are crazy! I mean, back there dying laughing, you guys are hilarious!
Starting point is 00:02:23 Thank you so much for bringing it Seattle. Oh my god I have to tell you the sea hawks have nothing on this place right now Wow I used to you choreograph for the all-girl school in El Paso Loreto Academy. And all of our men since, I mean, I know you'll never forget it, guys, but a lot of little girls in El Paso know how to do wings because of me.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Woo! And just standing there listening to you guys talk, I was like, listen to all these girls. It like brings me back to Loretto. This is cool you guys really brought I didn't know to expect a Seattle what do you think about Seattle? I mean I love Seattle. True story true story back in 2009. I came out of the closet here in Seattle. It's true. We actually, we went to the restaurant that Ben came out of the closet at, because you know, like I'm a tourist, I want to see his face needle.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Yeah. I want to see where Ben got his dick set for the first time. I'm just kidding, guys. I'm sure that happened before. You don't come out of the closet until you've heard you do exoct a few things. So, we went to this restaurant. It's called Elliott's. And I was like, you classy bitch. Of course, you come out where it's like $50 crap. Okay?
Starting point is 00:04:00 I didn't even have a taco. Am I coming out, okay? It was cheaper in 2009. It was cheaper. It was cheaper. $50 crab, okay? I didn't even have a taco. Am I coming out, okay? It was cheaper in 2009. It was cheaper. It was cheaper. We're not, we all. I know.
Starting point is 00:04:12 But we've only been here for basically 24 hours, but we've had so much fun here. Oh my God. Well, we've had everywhere. You guys, this is really teaching me to like, you know, leave the house, okay? Because it's been about a year since we've been everywhere. You guys, this is really teaching me to leave the house. Because it's been about a year, so we've been coming out. And the first, I would say 11 months. I was like, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:04:35 I'll have, I go to a CVS when I first get here. I stock up with any car by can with some Diet Coke. Yeah. I stay inside until I come here. But you know, I feel bad, because Ben goes around and he's like, look, I'm Instagramming by myself in front of the St. Louis Arch. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:53 This is so fun. It's like sad. It's like a sad version of Omelie. Did you ever see that name? It's like just on the sad version of Omelie? Well, it was because you're like the garden known from Omelie that they just send around from place to place. I'm basically the travelosity commercial.
Starting point is 00:05:09 There's ban at the Empire State Building. There's ban at the Golden Arches. I like that it's Shannon Bedore who is like following my journey. How about that? Well, that is the sad thing from Omelie. She's adding Bedore. Oh, here I am! I started up a bakery, but all I serve is salmon with cream cheese. And I would totally go to that bakery.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Huh, picks up blanket in Paris. David's here with his new whore. I'm sure that he's getting plenty of that. Huh, huh, huh. Anyway, welcome to Watch or Crappens. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We look to watch. We are recording this bullshit.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Yes. We are recording. We're still shocked that people will listen to it. But we do still record it every time we talk on the phone. We also love to it, but we do still record it every time we talk on the phone We also love to party Party I will have some vodka's up here right like seriously So we're gonna be drinking with you, but we are recording and this is an auditorium and you'll a red obituse will get loud
Starting point is 00:06:26 Yeah, feel free if the if the lady next to you says, shut the fuck up, someone's husband, and get your hand off my ass. Listen, you know, we're all together, guys. Don't be afraid to tell someone to shut up. It's okay, it's welcomed, et cetera. Okay. Another thing, these are little ducks. I bring it all the life says that my niece Cadence makes.
Starting point is 00:06:43 She learned how to, the difference between you and your after she made like a hefty bag full of these. But they're just kindness ducks. And then there's two condoms from Beaver Lickers. So those will be coming. See you throughout the show. And you know, before we get started, we just have to say this Seattle crowd already, I can tell, is like insane.
Starting point is 00:07:04 There's like a full on Captain Lee saying, God damn it over there. Before we get started, we just have to say this Seattle crowd already, I can tell, is insane. There's a full-on captain Lee saying, God damn it over there! Look at that! Look at that! We have shirts that are lit up, we have a Leuandh that's lit up. I mean, it's just like, you guys really, really brought it. So thank you, Seattle, for... Already, thank you Seattle for already. Thank you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Hey, oh, and by the way, there's an after party tonight at the Rhyne House. So just be aware. Judge Rhyne holds what an amazing actor from the 80s. Whoa, he's a very smart man. He went to police academy. That was Steve Gutenberg. What? He's a very smart man. He went to police academy. That was Steve Gutenberg. What? Okay, this is so unprofessional, and I'm so sorry Corey. Can I have like lots of vodka? Where's the I need some vodka? I'm not used to having color. I like color.
Starting point is 00:08:07 I like color. So many empty calories. Oh. I have to say there's this beer up here. It says Rogue Honey Colch. And what's funny is, I just read this right now. I'm like this is totally like on the WAN beer. Because it goes, dare, risk, dream, cabaret!
Starting point is 00:08:24 Go Rogue, am I right, girls? Just go rogue. Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks for adding me in there at the end. We love you, babe! Jesus Christ. Like all those other people with Jesus Christ. Yeah. No one was like people with Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:45 No one was like, we love you, Matthew. We also, by the way, wait, one last thing before we get to Dallas is that we have actually two of our premium Patreon sponsors here. We have, we have. Megan can't have the burger without the burger. Megan burger, Megan burger. And we also have Susie going toe to toe to toe, babe.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah. Both hot, both hot. That was, okay, I will never ever start talking about this show I just like coming out and being like Seattle on my right rain. Am I right guys? Puget sound, right? Can we Can we please talk about seasonal depression? Because I have a lot of questions, okay? A lot of questions we got here at Sunset yesterday. We were like, we are moving here.
Starting point is 00:09:45 This is the most amazing thing. I woke up today, I was like, fuck this place, this friend of mine. Hey. Oh. I'm still bitter that I cost $22 to go to the space needle. I'm sorry, it's an elevator. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:00 So who will your watch real last? Why's the Dallas last night? Oh my god, I Don't know about you guys, but I fucking love real house was a Dallas. I love it So good, I mean this show is possibly the widest thing that's ever been put on television. I mean, yeah. It's like winning a competition. It gets wider every week when they brought up wrap this week.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Yeah. Oh. And Cameron. Cameron is the one that they bring it up with. Well, anyway, there's only one way to make the real house as a Dallas more white and that is to put them in Denmark. That actually looked like they added Tam in Denmark. That was actually a smart vacation move.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Yeah, so anyway, so the real house as a Dallas, Dallas the cast they've headed off to Copenhagen Which is in Denmark in case anyone aside from Stephanie this confused on that location So it's their big cast trip and I'm excited for them because where did they go on their cast trip last year? Do we remember like a 7-Eleven and like a like big hippsy? I mean God bless this show And I think that they really are like having baked sales to pay for these trips. Like, they're the saddest trips I've ever heard. We're gonna go see my cousin sing it
Starting point is 00:11:31 and open Mike and Denmark. What? They were singing the saddest Airbnb I've ever seen in my life. It's like, have you guys heard of Patreon? Because the real housewives of Dallas? So they arrive at the airport and there's like an Uber or something ready to pick them up and someone has a sign out for Kerry and her, I guess her like maiden name is like Stevenson or something. Stevenson or whatever she's like, oh that's my Danish name and then I don't know if you guys heard this but in the background, Cameron just starts going, I love it.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Such a pretty name. It's such a good name for a Danish. Oh my God, they named their Danishes here. Does that Danish have a distributor? So amazing. Does that Danish have a disroberer? Because that's how we do in Texas, you know if you get a new shirt We're like Leanne everybody in Texas is like Leanne you do this when someone gets a new shirt I'm not sure. Our mouth is huge.
Starting point is 00:12:51 So, I just wrote the circuses in town. I mean, even the guy holding the chrysons inside, they're like, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's me, that's, that. No, no. We don't have enough for the eyelashes. There was a flurry of flash photography and then Caroline. Caroline Fleming walks by. I'm terribly sorry for my photography disrupting this trip right now. She's naked. She's like, this is my naked airport picture. This airport's great, great, great, this is my naked airport picture.
Starting point is 00:13:26 This airport's great, great, great, great, great, grandfather was killed by my great, great, great, great, grandfather. Isn't that funny? So they get onto their party van and now after having gone through about four or five weeks of lian being like like brandy as a drinking problem The very first thing Leanne says is I got to go to sleep next to the booze Well, you know, that's how you help your friend with the drinking problem. You know, you have drinks that way They don't have a problem, you know, trust me
Starting point is 00:14:01 You know that I know a lot of people are drinking problems and you know that I most likely have a drinking problem, right? Yeah. Yeah. So in all of my testing out in the world, I've realized there's nothing harder than a drinking problem than not having a drink. That's a much bigger problem, okay? Trust. That was actually very deep in many different ways. Well, welcome. Yeah. Welcome to listening.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Welcome to Crappens. Well, welcome. Welcome to Listening. Welcome to Grappens. Makes a think. So they're in the bus and they're talking about what their itinerary is going to be because tomorrow they're going to come to Los Album Launch. And Cameron's very excited. She's like, I'm going to wear a leather jacket to be hip.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Choose your clothes carefully. And we have like, who are you, camera man? Can your leather jacket be turned into a cape and then a wedding dress and then an apron? Someone look into that. Today you wear an animal print, tomorrow you're wearing leather. You know girls, I always say that we should turn Cameron into a rapper.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'm like, what? I just want a dresser like a rapper, one time, one time. How did we go from leopard print to leather to rap, you know, and then camera needs to just clarify something so she goes Like a gangster rapper With a grill I Love I think it's so nice that so many gangster rappers like to barbecue with their grills nice that so many gangster rappers like to barbecue with their grills. Yo girl, how rap I say it?
Starting point is 00:15:49 Yo girl. Yo girl. Yo girl. What up? What up? What up? What up? Girl.
Starting point is 00:15:57 What up? She just kept going. What up? So then we find out that she's just really fucking wasted. And that's how Cameron gets wasted. Like, that's it. She's still totally, she's just like, What? Uh. And Leanne's like, no, to be a rapper you say,
Starting point is 00:16:16 Hiho. Hiho. I'm like only in Denmark, we have such a disillusioned view on rap. Whoa. I took a pill on the plane that would make me sleep because of that loud motor sound. So loud. Next time could you use as someone who pedals, thank you. She's like on one of those old fashioned.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Just. And then, Carrie. Just like, girl, that's called taking a Xanax, she'll be fine. Carrie's got like a heroin needle sticking out of her arm. She's like, it'll be fine. Shut up, we're in Denmark. Shut up, we're in Denmark. Shut up, we're in Denmark. So then, like, Cameron's like champagne, like,
Starting point is 00:17:12 knocks over and skulls all over Deandra. And I just laugh because you just know that Leanne's going to be like, oh, yeah, that Deandra. She's such an alcoholic. She peed all over herself on the bus. I saw it happen myself. Her piece smells like champagne Yeah, and now we begin the storyline that is our through line. You guys this is art. Let's face it, okay?
Starting point is 00:17:37 It's plotting art Because when they're all drinking in the limo Brandy is like all have some champagne because that's all I really do All I wake up in the morning and I like to think about it I just want to have some Oh Because sometimes the brew and I just develop it a bit of a picnic Just a little bit of a picnic sometimes because like I don't know the adoption process isn't done through you She's got like her suspicious squinty eyes little how dare you Ronny how dare you say
Starting point is 00:18:06 to squinty eyes like no one can tell you're up to something she's like she's also like sitting in the back seats or head just sort of like comes up from behind like golem like I want to have a drink please thank you okay so we got a hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot
Starting point is 00:18:40 and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and hoot and ho like in pajamas or something. They all, so first of all, I want you guys to notice how often the producers cut all the booze that they were all drinking the entire time. Because it was like, here's the aqua Vee. Like, hey, is this booze? Yeah, okay, good. It was like, they literally go five feet and there's like another waiter with like a glass of vodka and cranberry. And then there's just like a moonshine or something like down the hallway.
Starting point is 00:19:03 It's also extremely budge this hotel. And they're trying to make us think, oh, it's Dunmark, and that's why they have funny stirrers. This goes, it's like foreign. I'm like, no, it's because you all are cheap. Okay. Those chairs are like cardboard boxes piled on top of each other.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Okay, they're not even real stairs. I was scared. So they're just trying to get them wasted, because you know, going to New York and being from New York for a long time, youth hostels, I mean, we've all dated a hostile guy, am I right? Girl, I know a hostile when I see one. They're like, take down the curtain walls.
Starting point is 00:19:39 We've got lots of ladies coming in. I don't understand that. You don't? In like many different ways. Hi, welcome to the image of privilege. Okay? Never been to a youth hospital. Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Where'd you get dick? I've been around hostile youths. You guys, I'm sorry. Ellie, I'm so alive so so I'm closer than usual. Yeah, it's okay, it's fine, let's see how old. It's just security. So yeah, and then of course, they're having a funny named alcohol.
Starting point is 00:20:13 The lady's like, would you like some aqua-veeat and cameras like, what? Wow. Wow. Yeah, girl. So then they get... Like a burrito? Huh, then they get to the drink and the waiter's like oh They're like it's so pretty
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah, like you ladies. I was like okay. Keep it in your pants there buddy Like what's in this drink and he's like a vodka lemon strawberry blueberry grip Mically traverse Luberse All emins, rob a blueberry grape, midly. Strawberry, blueberry. I remember plucking mushrooms in a field with mother. I'm putting them in this cocktail. Those are the days. Mid summers, mid-winter, sourced this. Reels of Comte cheese.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Hashtag, me, brace. How lucky are you to have me serve AquaV to you. Don't you just love the flavor that AquaV is? Don't you just love the flavor of that aquavine ladies? Don't you just love that flavor? If you guys have any idea what we're talking about by the way you all owe yourself to watch ladies of London There will watch ladies of London and still not know what the fuck we're talking about We that's true to every corner news time for commercial break. They're just ads, but they work. Wah, wah. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
Starting point is 00:21:52 But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident, not-so-expert-experts. Each week, we'll share a parenting story
Starting point is 00:22:15 that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh, yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:22:39 You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder e app. And then, so we list all the ingredients of the drinks and he's like, and plus a literal magic spaco. He's like, all right. And you're going to jail soon, sir. We've already seen this happen in America. No one can even watch the Cosby show anymore. Okay, and we what happened to Rudy a new room, am I right?
Starting point is 00:23:05 Okay. So, let's see, Cameron's like, oh my God, chocolate, in a pink pan. They didn't even have these at the global Pad Expo. So Cameron starts to unpack. They've now like separated into the rooms, and Cameron starts to unpack, and've now like separated into the rooms and Cameron starts to unpack and she just has tons of luggage and she's like, on she's everything in land just looking at her like, can you believe this bitch? She's like, I brought three pairs of pajamas and she's like, wow, I can't sleep in one pair of pajamas while we're here. Lens like, I can. Hey, give me a burlap sack and a few dead leaves. I call that a pajamas for new years.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Call it a one to it. Turns into a wet and dress. Give me a penny saver and some yarn. I call that onesy. Give me a little gum from behind your ear. It's a bikini top. All right. Let's do this She's like and then one suitcase is only for shoes because I have Jimmy shoes But I have a time limit of only two hours per pair of shoes Here's my under words and my socks andves, my gloves, and my huts.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Just feel like there's some hut in Afghanistan where a bunch of terrorists are gathered around this TV. Like, you see, this is what they do. This is what they do. She's like the out of the action in the video. She's like the out of the action in the video. Now, go get your virgins. That's terrible.
Starting point is 00:24:45 You guys, the world is literally falling apart. I'm like, ah, terrorism. Ah! You know, dare risk dream, everyone. Talk about going rogue in my right, ladies. Put it boys, I went rogue in Seattle. So then we get to see my favorite part on every episode, down to our putting on makeup.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Okay, sir. It's like here comes the shovel. It's like, good. Yeah, she is. It's like bringing Brian from Peppin' Higgin'. All right, Brian. All right. It's like going to Cold Stone Creamery, Ryan. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. She's, you know, Carrie's just acting like she does in every scene. She's acting by talking to somebody else. She's not even there. I love that Carrie's disinterest has gone to pure hate. Like, she's just like, fuck you. Like, everybody is in the scene with her. She's like, ah, I just'll turn away, just do her makeup at the wall.
Starting point is 00:26:00 She doesn't even care. No, I would be angry, too, if I were a married to Mark, honestly. I spent their money on a restaurant stove for their kitchen that's going to burn their house down. I'll be very angry. But I got another closet. Oh. So anyway.
Starting point is 00:26:17 What does Carrie's face? So Deandra. Oh. It's a pig. Far. So Deandra is like really nervous because she knows she's going to have to talk to Leanne then she just had a thing with Cameron at her husband's meal reveal and so she's not happy and she's like she's really upset because Cameron's saying that people are talking
Starting point is 00:26:44 and how would people be talking if someone didn't if someone didn't tell them that What happened? Leave or create? Wait, wait, I'm an alcoholic, I'm a goddamn alcoholic. What the fuck said that? I'll tell you you said that. One of the six people who were there, that's who said it. That is who said it.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Because one of the six people who were there, that is the only person. Now she's figured this out after what, two weeks? Like it's been like two weeks. And I think her mom was like, well who the fuck told her, stupid? Yeah. A camera man or one of the ladies there is like, you are right, man, you are right.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Just like man. I also just love when people are like, there were only six people there. There were only six people there. I'm like, there was an entire camera crew and producers and soundguys. And also one of those people was Leigh-Anne. Let's face it.
Starting point is 00:27:29 And Cameron didn't deny that she said anything. She's like, people are talking on people. Nice to meet you. People are saying you're gross and that you wouldn't even make it as a rapper. Yo, what up? Hey, ho. So, meanwhile, meanwhile, over in the other room, Brandy and
Starting point is 00:27:53 Step are hanging out. Hi, BD. BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! It sounds like a 1942, like, newsreel. Like, the Allies have come in.
Starting point is 00:28:13 BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! It's in the radio. BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! So anyway, um, this is where we learn one of the most hilariously misguided plots in the history
Starting point is 00:28:31 of all housewives. So basically, Brandi is like the emnight shaman, you know, episode of Dallas. This was like, remember that movie The Core? It's like the only way out is to go in so basically She's like Leanne's been going around telling people I'm an alcoholic so what know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna get wasted and make her call me an alcoholic I was like
Starting point is 00:29:00 It's definitely like I mean I get a idea like I guess like wanting to get like really drunk but like I would ask Travis but he's at HBS. I mean I feel like usually when people are being accused of being an alcoholic, you just, the last thing you want to do is get like beyond wasted on camera for every adoption agency to see in the world and to be on record.
Starting point is 00:29:43 I love it. But I love it. It's like making me like Brandy. And you know where I stand with that heffa. You know, I have to say, I don't disagree. I was laughing. I was laughing. OK, now, can we please do as this is their Copenhagen thing?
Starting point is 00:29:59 I think where they're like, guys, this is a house wash show. And it's a goddamn glamorous one. So every time they enter anywhere, this is how they do it. And they're up, it's let's do it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on-sla- It was on Like, wait, you're gonna go with the sale. So now they now head to a Michelin star restaurant in the hotel. I'm already mortified. Like I'm already just like, no, Michelin stars and these women, these are two things
Starting point is 00:30:53 that should not be going existing right now. This is gonna go bad, really, really quickly. Copenhagen is a trendy, it's like a trendy food spot. I'm like, no, it's not. It actually is. No, it's not, okay? The world's like, let-foot spot. I'm like, no, it's not. It actually is. No, it's not, okay? The world's like a- Best snitch will, it's a cold river, okay?
Starting point is 00:31:10 It's so ignorant. I'm just like tripling down on my ignorance. Look, it's snitch-align liver. That's it, okay? Whoa, everyone knows the best restaurant for a few teak-on-the-up-er-e the upper east soil, okay? Sorry, I'm sorry. Whoa, this reminds me of this one time when I was a little girl. I was like, I wanna, I wanna go have lunch.
Starting point is 00:31:37 I wanna have lunch so I opened up to the gats. And I was like, whoa, they say this restaurant has a nice ambience. And it looks like a good place for food. And then Joe in Parsley middle is like no You don't get any food. You're not allowed to eat because you're a fat little girl to this day. I've never eaten a thing. Okay. I Sorry And the way it is like oh, hello welcome would you like some sweet bread and Cameras like is it a Christian's in sweet bread? I'm gonna go for only last name of carbs to all eat and
Starting point is 00:32:15 Care is like oh, it's not bread. It's a fine-miss plant. So I'm a foodie. So I'm a foodie, so. What? What? What? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, But they haven't because Texas and look you go eat in Texas here's what you get meat Bread macaroni and cheese. How are you like to make that? Straws so fuck the rest of you by the way still straws and Like mayonnaise mayonnaise you get a lot of mayonnaise. So that's all they want right?
Starting point is 00:33:02 So Kerry's like docks not gave me ducks. Doc's not gay me. She's like, um, here's the deal. Fancy food is like disgusting. It's like seriously. It's like all it is is like people pretending they know what they're talking about, but they really don't. Pretending they don't. And then like eating it to impress each other. That's that's also when we found out that all this time she thought fancy food was fancy feast. It's like, oh, of course that's not for you. That's my competition.
Starting point is 00:33:29 How could you bring that up during dinner? Sparkles, sparkle, sheba. You know, remember sheba, the cat food, I don't know. Those were the commercials, like some lady, it was like a Nigella Lawson who's like at home and then her cat comes up to her like knuckles are with the face She's like there you deserve sheba Why why find it to be so your cat that's like man That's like
Starting point is 00:33:55 Under seven men like she McCapin she know Rob come a cat food in seven minutes or less She would have... Rob can make cat food in seven minutes or less. For your cat that starts to death because it can't stop staring at itself in the reflection of its own water. It's like... I think it's funny. All the cats died before we could sell them sheen and cat food.
Starting point is 00:34:21 They all drowned. I think you have one of each of the fancy feasts. Um, I don't know. I don't know. This is just like one of these things. Like, it's not, it's not even like a joke. I just, for some reason, I was so deeply amused watching Leanne order in this restaurant. And she's like, she has her like readers on.
Starting point is 00:34:38 She's like, oh, yes, this is Leanne Lock and now Queen of the Show. All right. I would like the beef tartar. And also the cod. Thank you. Oh, and do you have any brains that can go with that? Thank you so much. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:56 I know, I just like it when the end gets fancier. Scouts are phenomenal. And Cameron's like, I can't do raw That's not what courts said I said that's not what courts said I was just being salacious for the fun of it there Just a tiny person He's like, raw booty. So Cameron's like, I want a quesadilla.
Starting point is 00:35:29 You know, we went to Cabo San Lucas. Yeah. Oh, we had amazing burritos and quesadillas. We just want more and more of them. I hope you don't mind if I order in Spanish. Shhh. Ha ha ha ha. Blimp your my casina por favor. Eee, necessita en quesadolong. Okay. They're like, uh, we're not cleaning your kitchen bitch.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Do you want thymus glands or not? Okay. Do you have humbiter or snow? Okay. So this is where Brandy's like, I'm gonna get so wasted. This is gonna be so crazy. Give me one of those shots. Ah!
Starting point is 00:36:11 You know? Yeah. Well, she's like taking Liam's shots. Like give me your shot, Liam. Whoa! And Liam. Love you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Thank you for not including Ben as even. Oh! So, uh, and Leanne. Love you, thank you. Thank you for not including band as even. So, oh my god, I lost my train of thought. I practiced this all day. This is the way out, of course. I didn't know that brandy. Calle Ethopsione, please. Mrs. Garrett, listen here. I got another kid for your born to school, right? Her name is Bruin.
Starting point is 00:37:08 You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both in there. Brandy Redmond. Mostly the bad. Mostly the bad. Do I look younger because I've been drinking Diamond Water. Bad, bad, bad, you look great, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. So, Leanne's like, you think thirsty, Brandy wants some of my Elkeho. No.
Starting point is 00:37:36 This was like an inverse Ireland trip, you know, like an Ireland. They were all trying to get Kelly Todd wasted. She's like, no, no, but now it's like brandy is like guys get me wasted Give me wasted. They're like nothing It's fun. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun. Brandy is so evil that she's being her own shanning be door Here lies Brandy Redmond Redmond. So, uh, then of course, and I guess her point was she wanted Leanne to admit that she was saying the actual word alcoholic, this is so stupid, I love it.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah. She was trying to entrap her. Yeah. Well, it doesn't work. Trust me. Yeah. All you have to say is, you're not a cop, right? And then if they don't answer you properly, they don't get that 20 back and I don't go to
Starting point is 00:38:24 prison. So. I don't get that 20 back and I don't go to prison. I don't know, but then she starts stacking up these like winding glasses. I'm like, you are like in a fancy restaurant right now. Like I was like, I was like, I was mortified because you guys know me. Like that's the thing that gets me mortified. I was like, I cannot watch this crazy lady, even though I think it's hilarious that she's getting herself wasted so she can be called an alcoholic. I still cannot abide by a pyramid of wine glasses at a mission's art restaurant.
Starting point is 00:38:49 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm taking a stand. Yeah. And then Brandy says she's making the pyramid. She's like, in case you forgot, I'm a dollar cheerleader. I'm like, you know what? Everyone forgot.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Like I'm so sorry. You can say that all you want. But no one is going home and spanking to you on the TV. Okay, it's over. Get a job. Get a real job. So poor Brandy, she thought she was going to have the big scene, the big fight, the big drunken interaction with Lann.
Starting point is 00:39:23 She thought that. But then came along Deandra and came to derail the whole thing. Oh, so good. Okay, so Kerry, he doesn't want anything to happen on her trip to Denmark. Yes, he's one of my family's friends, and I want my dad to be proud of me. So Kerry is like, okay, this is boring, no one's even time in Scotland. So, why didn't you go dress shopping down-draub with Leon? I mean, the woman only gets married at 57 once. So... He's so rude.
Starting point is 00:39:54 It was rude, you know? I'm just an exaggerator, I like adding ears to things. I'm like the opposite of a housewife. So care, yeah. I add as many ears as they take off, you know? You know, carry know carry carry like slips So carry carry skates by by the way this entire episode When she is the one who serves the pot so much in this scene on a thymus
Starting point is 00:40:19 She's like all girl girl girl Girl, I wish you could have gone dress shopping. That would have been great. That would have been great if you guys just done that dress shopping. That would have been good. Do you ever think about it like that? Do you guys are best friends, right? Right, girl?
Starting point is 00:40:37 John Cacaholich, she said it. Just like enjoying her time just having everyone else dance around. She was like, I don't cause trouble on the show until I show it to reunion and then I start solving and blaming you for every problem I've ever had. So, see you in two weeks. I'm eating thymus. So Deandra's like, well, I wasn't invited until 9 o'clock the night before at the wedding restaurant because I have a busy, I'm a busy executive.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Okay, I spend my entire day sitting in my mom's chair and crying, okay? Can't interrupt that. Do you know how many people in the office I have to say hello to to get mother off my ass for saying hello wrong when I arrive at the office? Okay, I'm a business woman. You cannot and find me to something at 9 p.m. That is when I'm having my statistically hard night. And Karen, Karen, it's like, but why Hard Matt And care cameras like but why didn't you call her and ask her when her wedding dress fitting was gonna be I run a business I'm run a, I'm like, oh, oh, oh. Like when she just keeps her eyes closed, like, so disappointed. And so, Dander is like, I run business every day,
Starting point is 00:42:00 and I play everything I did. And Dander is like, hmm. Global peddix pose. Yeah. Kind of understand what it's like being a mover and a sugar. OK. Moomerer sugar. I want to be a rapper someday, like, to fuck sugar.
Starting point is 00:42:20 So, to carry this like, OK, so why are you guys having such a hard time communicating? Talk. You too. Now Cameron, you talk so I can hide away. That's talk. And they're like, oh! It's just a new thing.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, Cameron, Cameron. You try and get someone to television so get them a little notoriety Roddy and suddenly they're turning around and stepping butter not in your back But guess you didn't say that me. I'm standing with my face Big face And Tanner's like I don't know and Cameron's like don't even ask that because I was asking questions about I call placements And I was gonna have chopped I-Cal placements and I was going to have chopped on. So don't do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:09 And yeah. Dan just basically like, Cameron, the reason why you had your head chopped off is because it's not of your business. It was not of your business in Cameron's like, mm-hmm. But it was a question. Yeah, it was a question. So. I'm sitting here and I think I should be included because it was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. So. I'm sitting here and I think I should be included because it was a question.
Starting point is 00:43:26 It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. I'm like, I would love to see Cameron at the way that I was press-gore. I'm sorry, Mr. President. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question.
Starting point is 00:43:37 It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. It was a question. I Just asked the president question got my head chopped off
Starting point is 00:43:48 Literally, she's like like now I'm and believe her I just want jeopardy Is that a question? Many Alex Traback He's like, please put your head back on your body. You're gonna ruin this stuff. I like that beheaded Cameron went on Jeopardy and one. I got my head off of the stream.
Starting point is 00:44:14 This show builds dreams, okay? Zombie Cameron is a great a jeopardy. The zombie Cameron. Now that's when people will run. People on Walking Dead still too stupid run from zombies. They're like, oh they're moving fairly slowly, their arms are falling off. They can't kill us. Cameron's coming. He was a question. He was a question. Global bad experience. The distributor, distributor, distributor.
Starting point is 00:44:38 It's like the whole town is cleared out. He's a question. Okay. So back to the thymus fight. Yeah. Guys, there's a question. Okay, so back to the thymus fight. Yeah, guys, there's a fight. So, yeah, so now they're trying to figure out who's going to fight, right? But can everyone keep taking every big fight and ignoring it and going for the tiny little baby? Yeah, but remember when I asked a question, that's literally the fight now, okay? See how to question?
Starting point is 00:45:04 So Deandra is now going to take, she's's gonna go for an age-old housewife tactic, which she says, I feel ganged up on by Cameron and Lee Ann. I feel ganged up on. I'm like, you're the one who brought your mom to a party, to talk shit to Lee Ann and everything. So, I'm not gonna be a fan, okay? Don't bring an I've to a defite. No. Bring a D.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Okay? Oh, yeah, I said, you got your gang, you were dang it up on me. And Cameron's like, it was a gang, it was a gang of questions. Okay? And Carrie's like, oh, Cameron loves pushing buttons. And Danter's like the dashboard of a 747. Oh, it's a great47. He's pressing buttons.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Just imagining an airplane with just giant eyelashes in the sky. It's like that Denzel Washington movie except Brandy's the one driving the plane drunk. D kind of is like every flight attendant I've ever met, like all rolled into one, so it's sort of makes sense. Okay. So hold on, we need a moment. Here's a duck. That was just a duck, that was a positive thinking duck break, and also Cory, I love,
Starting point is 00:46:21 someone back there, can I have a thing of vodka and ice, but that's it. None of the juice. The juice is delicious, but just a vodka and ice, please. Okay, everybody, simmer down now. I was just asking you a question. It's just a question. Okay. So, Dandra is screaming and yelling like sharia Terry between the two, like, headbopping guys on us.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Yeah. The big, because now they're both accusing each other of attacking each other. Like you're attacking me. I wasn't attacking you. You're attacking me. I wasn't attacking you, you know? And then it's like, past the question.
Starting point is 00:46:53 And like, and then she's like, I'm having a conference. I'm trying to have a conversation with Leanne. And Cameron's like, no, you were actually attacking me. And not having a conversation with Leanne. So they're just going in circles at this point. Is this how your mom yells at you? That was some varsity level real house lab shit. That was varsity level. You know Cameron does not always get the credit she deserves. That's Cory.
Starting point is 00:47:27 I love this place. Sometimes after live shows we'll read the comments and I'm like, why were people mad that they didn't understand what was happening on the stage? Like stripping, like walking off, talking to somebody. I'm just like having a cigarette in the back alley over there. Sorry people at home. So now, so Cameron says, this is how your mother yells at you.
Starting point is 00:47:53 And Deandra's like, goes, my mother, my mother. And for some reason, she says mother, could she just says it in this way? That's like, you feel a saltage. Just my mother, my mother, my mother. You know, it's all the Danish people in the restaurant are staring at them now, which is, listen, you can't spell
Starting point is 00:48:08 disdain without dain, right? So it is like, you feel it. You feel like they're staring at you, like you're watching this, you know. These people are disdain-ish. So, Dianne, it's like the energy in here guys, Just finish. Oh. Oh. So, do you have the energy in here, guys? The energy?
Starting point is 00:48:29 It's a lot. It's a lot. Like, this is one of the first restaurants you've been to, that there's not like a dead bus boy in the back for not bringing your water on time. You know what I mean? You can calm down there, okay? Yeah, you humped the floor in a radio, so
Starting point is 00:48:47 My chair just broke Look at that wouldn't mean I'm sorry you guys Now I'm living without a bad that is officially a crap and curse that's happened about the best now at least it What you weren't sitting on nails remember that time my I was like oh my butt hurts I don't even know why you guys. I was sitting on nails, like literal nails. This chair is literally shaming me for my posture. I get it, I get it guys. Okay, so Cameron, okay, so now Cameron and Deandre are yelling at each other. And she's like, oh, I want you to the truth. Oh, my God. Captain Lee is here to save the day. God, dammit. Thank you, Captain Lee. Oh, my God. Look, everybody. It's heavenly from Mary to medicine. Uh-oh. Who that chair? Grandma! Grandma! That was just trying to be better.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Ooh, this one's more comfortable too. People at home are now fully confused. Okay, cheer up, bro. Just turn it off. So a lady dresses Captain Lee came up to the stage with a chair and gave it to me. And now we're going back to talk about Danish things. So now, Danter and Cameron are yelling each other and they don't know why.
Starting point is 00:50:07 And Danter is like, I'm dead, I'm done painting everything and I'm done being bullied, mother. And Cameron's like, what have I done to you, Danter? What have I done to you? Danter. Yeah, Cameron has now gone fully diagonal, which is a really bad sign when she's just like, what have I done to you?
Starting point is 00:50:24 What have I done to you, Dandra? Dandra. What? Dandra. And she goes, okay, well, here's what she did. Okay? Here's what she did, and you see Dandra like winding up, like, oh shit, it's time for facts.
Starting point is 00:50:39 What she's bad with, you know? Because Cameron is like the girl from Lee Lee Blonde. She'll just confuse you until you're like, not with, you know? Because Cameron is like the girl from Lee Lee Blonde. She'll just confuse you until you're like, not guilty, you know? This is also like every marketing presentation she's ever had to do for her mother. I'll tell you mother, what we can do with her shoes. What I need.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I don't know mother, just take it back. Take the keys back. So she's like, okay, here's what she did. Here's what she did. Mural, mural reveal. my husband had mural reveal, I was about my husband, it was, it was supposed to be a mom about, but then it was about Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:51:10 What did he happen? Where am I? What's going on here in my Shameless? Cameron has a much clearer return. She's just like, honey, you attacked me and my mother-in-law. You know, and now it becomes this whole thing about like, did Deandra attack Jimmy?
Starting point is 00:51:28 You know, so now Deandra's like, I never attacked Jimmy. I never attacked my mother-in-law. I'm just like going back and forth. And I asked my mother-in-law by saying that she attacked you. Like, Cameron, that's how she is. It's like a circle, you know? And Carrie's now like, she's like blowing a socket or something.
Starting point is 00:51:47 She's just going, Dandra, Dandra, Dandra, Dandra. It's like, can we reboot her please? Dandra. And Dandra was like, I'm not even doing anything wrong. I don't know what you're mad at. So what, we were having a divinity party. I put a cake cup up my butt, who cares?
Starting point is 00:52:07 And Karen Rangas, it's a slippery slip from a cake cup to a butt dart. Wait, where did the butt darts come from, by the way? It was always like, she's got her cake cups. Trashy. K-Cups and Bett darts. I mean, seriously, that little, that little curicub is the gift that keeps on giving on this show, you know? So they fight, and Cameron's like, I am leaving.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Adios, Porfa Bourd, Necesito, and comma, Maas Grande. He's got some room service, guys. So she says up here and was like, BAH! BAH! BAH! And then we see, and then we cut to Brandi, who's sitting there like this, like, Is it my turn yet? Is it my story?
Starting point is 00:53:04 My story? Brin, Bruin. It's a my turn yet There's a my story my story Brin ruin Brandy's like nursing her under arm like Okay, everything's going great. That was gonna take you from me. I've stopped them all So she's like they ruined my plan to get called a drunk. We can happen. So now they're trying to get Brandy to put down glasses, right? No, Brandy, no! Because she's still drinking everything on the table.
Starting point is 00:53:34 So now is the elevator fight. Cameron's waiting by the elevator. No Cameron is. Whoever. Because Cameron likes to stormed off, but then apparently they could not find the elevator. Yeah, he's like, good. Bye! So probably like the staircase up to a room is like all these staggered stairs. She's like, how do I get up this? It's a question.
Starting point is 00:53:52 It finally goes to service elevator. It's like waiting for the elevator. Like, hmmm. So then Deandra comes by because Cameron is still there inexplicably. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Okay, I'm not even gonna be in the st. elevator as you. Instead of like, bye, okay, let's start first. You acted crazy at the mural reveal. That was supposed to be a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:32 I spent, I spent, I spent, I'm like, what did you, how did you, how did you get the bad dreamy now? You are psycho. Like you are literally psycho. Oh my god. You're psycho. Oh my god Oh my god
Starting point is 00:54:51 Starring her Delusional on psycho So let's see so Brandi and they're fighting in the elevator doors because the andros just still going Brandy and they're fighting in the elevator doors because the Andoros just still going No! I nearly came in the mirror! Mother and I'm your own. You know like she's screaming. Brandy's in the middle of them and she just has her clutch up her eyes like
Starting point is 00:55:13 That's how I feel. She's like stop! The drunkard is putting a stop to the spine! And everyone's like whoa that was badass but then is putting a stop to the spine! And everyone's like, whoa, that was bad ass. But then she puts her hand in the middle of the elevator so the door just opens again. It's like it's the most awkward elevator scene we've had in house-life history. And we've had Ramona going up and down. Remember when Ramona? Whoa! Hello! How do I get down?
Starting point is 00:55:47 Dude, we just started doing this thing. Hello. We push the button. His buttons here. Hello. How do I get down? Did someone call Avery? Someone called Avery. She's my daughter, but looks like my sister. Hello.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Whoa. This elevator is really showing its age, unlike me, because I'm ageless. Romano pretending she doesn't know elevators have buttons. I mean, these shows, seriously. And we buy it. We're like, oh, totally been there. Yeah. It works. So, next up, we have another hallway fight, right? So now Cameron is Christ squealing to Brandy and she goes, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my body. I have to remove. They were hurting my rib. I'm basically just an
Starting point is 00:56:47 invertebrate. So she's like I wouldn't have heard anyone and Liam is just talking behind their going. She wouldn't! She'd never heard anyone. He didn't do anything. Look at him. Thank you, because you know how difficult it is for me to walk like that many cases. I know, I'm so proud of you. That was like relay races, you guys. That was a lot. That was a lot.
Starting point is 00:57:26 You're OK. I'm like literally exhausted. It's a lot. That's a lot. So Leandra is like just ready to pop off, you know? So Deandra comes in, and Leandra is going to be all David Sunshine right now. And she's like, now Deandra, you're
Starting point is 00:57:41 responsible for yourself and your actions, no matter how much people push your buttons, Ms. 747? Sometimes people try and get you mad. Don't get mad, get glad. Don't, don't. Like Oliver at Dimes' door psychology that she's learned in the past five minutes, you know.
Starting point is 00:58:07 And yellow and blue makes green, Dandro. Yeah, yellow and blue, zip it. Zip it, Dandro. Now, I may not have been doing this for long, but I think I'll get Naples stuff for A-plus. A-plus, I haven't threatened to kill anybody in about two months, you know. And Dandro is like, oh really? You've been doing really good at it for like past month Really and then and Lee I was like that That's
Starting point is 00:58:35 You know what that was you all know what that was I'll give you a hint it rhymes with bin salt I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with bin salt. It was an insult. It was an insult to your hand, Dr. It was an insult. So, Deandra tries to start walking it back. And she's like, no, I'm ant like, I didn't realize you had gone crazy in like, and like nine months.
Starting point is 00:58:55 I was like, I don't know. I don't know. It was nice. Mother, step in, mother, step in. I found that to be insulting. And I will tell you this is the owner of this town. You are welcome here, but you're gonna need to follow by the nice people rules. I'm gonna fucking kill this bitch.
Starting point is 00:59:10 And you just see her walking back and forth like, I'm gonna kill her. We're all sitting there like, please let this happen, please. So now, Leon's like, Dandro, oh, it has to be right. Oh, it has to be right. Oh, it has to be right. I didn't say I was right. You, I didn't like it.
Starting point is 00:59:29 So then we got a camera and he's being the biggest drama queen. She's literally holding the girl's hand. She's like, I would never hurt anyone girls. Girl. Never wrong, girl. It's like a prayer circle about what a good person camera is, you know. And Leanne comes in and she's like, she always has to be right and Kim goes, let her be right all she wants. I could care less.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Well, if you could care less, then care less. Pepe, pepe. Ho, Ben's, me. Put in care less. So go grab her lesson. Pepe, Pepe, Pepe, Pepe. Put in care less. So little grammar lesson. So Cam tells us, Deandra, you've been poking and poking at Liam for months.
Starting point is 01:00:15 But if you mess with her, her friend. Better watch out. Watch out. So Dandra comes in. She's like, all right, all right, all right. I see how things maybe got a little out of control here. Okay, so I've made PowerPoint, mother. Someone make the projection work. It works. It works. It works.
Starting point is 01:00:39 It works. It works. It's so angry. So then Dandra goes, okay, Cameron. So when people are talking, and you and Jimmy are talking, and Cameron just interrupts her, goes,
Starting point is 01:00:51 it was the butt darts. It was the butt darts girl. Again, this is why I love this show, that you can have two lines of dialogue, like that, that go right after each other. They truly make no sense together, and yet in this show, they do. I love it.
Starting point is 01:01:04 And this is Dero's big scene Where it's like the end of Matlock and she's got the mystery figured out and she's like and you girls She wouldn't end anybody was even doing K cups after but homeless when you told them because there were six people there Six people how many girls are here? How many and their cameras like oh Yeah, I told her. Yeah, my mother lost my best friend. You were the first person I'd ever seen do this to themselves. Blic, boom, boom. Boom.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Intola Laude came out to Andra. Of course I told her. You made a latte with your cornhole, okay? It was impressive. I've told everybody I've seen. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen to Andra. So Cameron's like, why are you bringing my mother-in-law into this? And Andra's like, I am not bringing your mother-in-law into it.
Starting point is 01:02:06 I'm like, you literally just said you and Jimmy were talking about me, so whatever. You are bringing her into it, and she's like, I'm not. She's like, UGH! I like Leanne makes like an old-time in 1920s boxer thing like Mimic her oh God, I mean did anyone else just get like feel like a jolt of electricity when they I'm got up on that So far back like that. Oh So good the antra could you just get out of our room? Please just get out of our room
Starting point is 01:02:57 Don't put your finger in my face and tell me to shut up That's what she says. I was like, whoa, that felt weird. Well, I am leaving, because some people are acting aggressively. And that's how we do things in my time, what? And then Carrie starts talking, trying to like talk down Deandra. And she starts talking to Deandra like a horse. She's like, hey, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, good girl, girl, girl, girl. And we have a carrot girl, carrot.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Whoa. Okay, all right, that's a good girl. So, Lea and, and, and Brandi is just mad because no one is called her an alcoholic. Yeah, okay. She's still what she's saying. Like she still wants someone to call her an alcoholic. I still what she's saying like she still wants someone to call her an alcoholic. So she's like, Leanne, you can't leave Leanne, don't call me Anne, Leanne,
Starting point is 01:03:52 where are you going? Like she cares, she just wants her to call her a drunk. Yeah, I mean this is it. Because Leanne has now gone upstairs. I'm surprised we didn't hear like, I am going downstairs. Some Danish stairs, a little tricky. Sorry about that everyone. So at the beginning of every season, we do a preview of the trailer, right? We watch a trailer and we break them down, seen by scene. So this one came out, and I was like, OK,
Starting point is 01:04:14 Leon is obviously in her closet. Yes. She's like, where did she get her this closet with two stories? Like, where is it? Like, is she in a barn? They're in fucking Copenhagen. They're in Copenhagen. They're a barn they're in fucking Copenhagen There's a Utah still in Copenhagen. I think that's a great answer to that question all these months later And so Brand is trying to get land to come back in the fight and last we get the line
Starting point is 01:04:35 We've been waiting for all season long, which is I'm exhausted My weave is exhausted. The pantyliner on my underwear is exhausted. I'm exhausted. There's these two words. I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I'm sorry, Leon. Leon, you were correct. I like beans, I'm like, that's so many words. I like beans. Panty liners, is that a panty? Is that an exhausted panty liner?
Starting point is 01:05:14 My panty liner is literally... I don't know what this is. I literally have... I'm exhausted branded panty. And it's a housewives, so you know she will come out with that. I feel like hearing Leanne say that line, it was like the equivalent, that was like the Jennifer Hudson moment in Dream Girls, you know, it's like I just wanted to give like a standing ovation to my TV, like I've heard about this moment for so long and now it's
Starting point is 01:05:40 finally here, I was so happy. Jennifer Hudson got kicked out of Dream Girls because she kept trying to stab people with broken wine glasses. Honestly, that would have made that movie better. Let's be honest. You know she's wanted to do that ever since Fantasia took American Idol away. I'm here for it, Jen. I'm here for it, Hudson.
Starting point is 01:06:01 So now, like, Deandra's gone into different room, and now Leanna's talking to Brandy and Cameron. She's like, she's insane. She's lost her marbles. And you know, Cameron's probably like, why would she bring marbles to Denmark? Especially if she can't keep them. She didn't lose her marbles. Marbles. So the next morning, well, no, then Brandy, Brandy is like, a brandy man. I like this.
Starting point is 01:06:30 That's your best friend. And then I'm like, no, she is not. I'm her best friend. I've always been her best friend. I've always given and taken an A, that she's wanted to say about me. You know what? I love her anyway.
Starting point is 01:06:43 And I'm done. Thank you. Good night, everyone. Good night. She's so dramatic. So the next morning they're getting ready because some of them are going to the brewery. A brewery. And we're going to brewery. A brewery. He's going to go to the brewery.
Starting point is 01:07:01 How do you go to the brewery? And some girls are going some other. What is that? A cooking class. A cooking class. How dare you go to a cooking class right after Mama be shared her dreams of ambitions with you? Dan just like, where is the catcher?
Starting point is 01:07:17 Did they do hands of some catcher? Didn't count. How much catcher do we put in this Danish? Jeff, fun and copen, snobbing, vandrum. So Carrie is like learning languages. You know how Carrie learns every language. She's like, fluting, flogging, teething, schlocked.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Teething, schlocked. Cup and Haken series, so lame. I feel like I would do that. So yeah, so now they're going, they're all talking about, like Cameron and Leanne are talking about the night before, they're doing like my favorite thing, which is after night of drama, you do like the post-game report in the morning, you know, and like, everything becomes crazy. Like, Deandra was like, and I was like, and she was like And you're like yeah totally
Starting point is 01:08:07 Leanne's like I know the angels crazy. It's like okay extra since 18 Been and wouldn't all season to use that joke camera to laugh a little bit, huh? If your head turns all the way around girl It's just a possession. So now, there's a demon in her body. There's a demon in her body. Why would you get possessed?
Starting point is 01:08:40 Why would you do that? The power of questions compels you. Why would you do that? The power of questions compels you. The power of the Christians in Danish compels you to tell me. So then Stephanie and Danielle, Stephanie's like, I'm down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down like I'm cut his shot. I'm shot, and don't want me wearing paint from head to toe. He doesn't have to pronounce basic words like girl. Would support somebody to try to clock me. Did you see her wanting that giant clock behind her?
Starting point is 01:09:17 Wanted it? Get ready, what was she gonna do? Punch me in the clock. I'll tell you what she is, she is like, Kuku clock, get it. Get it, mother. Get it. So let's take a break in the show for Lisa Van Depamp to update you. So we were filming a new season of the real housewives of Beverly Hills
Starting point is 01:09:47 When everybody I thought was close near and dear to me heard my theories At least I'll always have chef Penny old me chef Penny There's no problem that tuna There's no problem that tuna ta ta, our cat fix. She's sparkling it on her house. I am living for the return of Beverly Hills. I cannot wait. That show has been crawling. It has been crawling along. And Lisa Rinne has just been standing on the side of the road kicking it as it crawls. Slowly. But girl, they finally hurt Lisa Vanderp I'm excited to hear PK sing Happy Birthday again. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you.
Starting point is 01:10:52 Perfect. I played it at the start. Oh, bubbly! Hey! Bubbly! I'm gonna have to do some vocal warmups before the repeat kids as a mixer. I don't give a fuck. Lisa Vanderpump gave me a puppy.
Starting point is 01:11:09 It beat my baby in his face. What's me composing puppy? Hey, if Lisa Vanderpump doesn't want you to open credits, I'll take it. Yeah, Teddy's like, your puppy was late. Okay. So now the women go to this brewery. And I'm like cracking up because the bartender at this brewery, like doesn't give a fuck about these girls.
Starting point is 01:11:38 And she's just fucking with him. She's like, oh, good day. How about to go to beer? Do you want? Like, we'll just like to try something. Oh, fl could you, could you, could you, could you, could. Except he's like, uh, what, what, what was, what was, what, Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you speak English. I'm like, how do you forget they speak English?
Starting point is 01:11:53 They just spoke English when they came in. How did you not know those two were American? Yeah. I mean, even wheat, yummy, it's embarrassing for us, you know? So then they, they're looking at, you know, all the beer names. Like what were Austin's on Southern Charm? What's his? It's like, it's like, badass peach bra.
Starting point is 01:12:11 Or what was it? It's like, three-day soup or something. Yeah, it's like pumpkin mice or whatever. But they're reading all the names of the loggers and Stephanie's like, ah, Jerry's whole. Jerry, Jerry's whole. I haven't had that in my mouth since college. Yeah. Jerry's whole.
Starting point is 01:12:34 It's like it's like a butthole. And then she orders it and she's like it's like a butthole. And then she orders it and she's like, Jerry Solism is good as I remember. Isn't that the truth? So let's go over to the Nuna, the culinary instructor. And Gray, okay, every man that carries shoots a scene with him, like she's fuck that guy, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Like, has he fucked him or is he a mountain fuck him? There's always so, right? Because this guy, Gray, she's like, I'll take that one. The other girl was like from Top Chef season three, you know? Ha, ha, ha, ha. And he's like, I'll take that one. He's like, oh, you want to learn how to make the twisty of the twisty and the cheese and the whole?
Starting point is 01:13:27 Yeah, you did right. Yeah, I make some things. I've bitten Glishmuffins and then toaster. So, so yet, are you okay? Be careful. The cheer might break. I have to make it. It's a rolly. It happens to rolly chairs. And these, it's like, it's, am I going to throw out my back? Like, what's gonna happen? I did it. So, there, there. So anyway, so now there's like a back and forth thing that some girls at the cooking class, some girls at the brewery, they're talking about the night before and everything and you know, brandy saying that Deandre's
Starting point is 01:13:56 in a better place now this morning. She's calm, or she's calm, or, and Leon's like, well, as long as she's not gonna poke me in the chest and make me thought her, I work so hard not to gonna poke me the chest of it, it's not her. It works so hard not to be that person I went and saw David Sunshine about a little bowl from Marshall's and doing it every now and then. I work so hard PTSD carnivals.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Scramble her. And Stephanie is like, did you call your family camera? And because you know that camera, I'm like, calls everybody who's in her like, or her iPhone just like, you will not believe it happened to me girl. And I think they meant, did you tattle tell the Jimmy yet?
Starting point is 01:14:32 You know? Yeah. She's like, yeah, I called Kour. I was like, Kour, you won't believe it. We got into a fight and they're like, what did he say? Well, he just made a sound and like, farted in the phone and then just hung up. I think it's bad service.
Starting point is 01:14:49 He's bad service girl. Of course, like, why the fuck are you calling me? Of course, got like three hookers around, you know? I'm like a gigantic TV. He's got like a drink on the coffee table with no coaster. He's like, yeah, yeah. So Leanne's like, you know the thing is, if you trigger the amygdala, you don't know what monsters gonna come out.
Starting point is 01:15:16 Don't touch the amygdala, thank God, carry my arm. Cause I was going on that path, I just was seeing red. I was seeing a giant bell on top of the thing in a hammer, and I was just about to hammer it down. You were a triggered girl. My favorite defense coming from Camin. You were a triggered, a kangaroo.
Starting point is 01:15:38 Who wouldn't be mad when they're triggered in the quesadilla, a kangaroo? And then I was like, it's unfair! It is unfair! I feel like my standards are the top of the statue of Liberty and hers were at the base! Tourism, tourism guilt. Like, tourism is like a big thing. Don't drag me into this. I actually feel like the statue of Liberty has to be Leigh Ann's favorite statue,
Starting point is 01:16:04 not because it's like in epic landmark Just because it has like all these knives coming out of its skull. I love it. I was born with knives in my skull Stephanie, she's like I'm doing amazing job look at me. I haven't tried to hurt anybody No, please man have come up and ask me why I'm standing in front of the store I'm doing great. Stephanie's like, yeah, you've been holding your temper so well. It's been going so great. And Brandy's just doing that. She's like, that's the Stephanie.
Starting point is 01:16:29 It's like, Brandy, isn't she doing great with her temper, Brandy? And Brandy's like, and then Cameron went like this. To Brandy's passive aggressive move, Cameron went like this. And then Cameron went like this.
Starting point is 01:16:41 And then Cameron went like this. And then Cameron went like this. And then Cameron went like this. And then Cameron went like this. and Brandy's like, and then Cameron went like this, to Brandy's passive aggressive move, Cameron went like this. I like that. It's like she's doing the long jump with her head. She does. She did like a full tilt and foot.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Taken off and never landing. So then, now Deandra and Carrie, they've made their little Danishes and twists and whatever. And they're talking about it and Deandra saying, you know, every time Leanne starts to say, like every time she has an issue, Leanne can't even search herself and vice versa.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Yada, yada, yada. And Carrie is just like, yeah, I'm gonna tell my dad I made Danishes. This means a lot to me right now. I was like, this is a sad state of your relationship with your dad. Like, you made a Danish and that's gonna make... That's like, she just needs the approval from a Danish. I think it's sad.
Starting point is 01:17:35 I got to tell it's sad for her. So, they go back to Rast before dinner, because God forbid you go a God damn hour without eating something on a real housewife, so I mean, these people are more aggressive than me, even I skip breakfast. How do these women stay so thin? All they do. So another resting is time for dinner and now it's raining.
Starting point is 01:17:52 And so there's all these red umbrellas, and Leanne's like, oh, red umbrella. Never know when you're gonna need a good weapon, covered in blood. And then the cameras under her, and she looks at the camera like this. She's like,
Starting point is 01:18:05 I mean, people think that we exaggerate when we do Leanne, but she literally said that shit. She did, and she looks at the camera just, I love that Leanne's even friends with the floor camera guy. Because you know how that's like a job. There's like the poor guy who's always on the, it's Jeremy, you know? It's like, Jeremy, it's like, am I on the floor again? Why am I always on the floor? They're like, aren't your stripes Jeremy? This is good by pictures, okay? We'll tell you when it's hello to standing, okay Jeremy?
Starting point is 01:18:33 So I can see you Jeremy. I see you kid. Leave my husband out of this. So, so now that there's, now the ladies go to this like, artsy hip district with this graffiti because they're gonna go see Camilla for her album launch. Oh my God. What do we like five minutes into this show?
Starting point is 01:18:52 You brought things. There's not a lot left. So they go to see Camilla, they go and carries like, oh my God, it's my cousin Lottie and there's Camilla and there's Florgen and stuff. So they're all happy and she's like, actually, Eugenia is not just a runner's up on America's next top model. Eugenia's actually like a really well-known indie pop band in a certain counties in Denmark.
Starting point is 01:19:16 You know that she's really famous because they have great coffee where she is. So then we get like the Eugenia concert and we are actually very lucky because we actually have a Eugenia recording here. We thought we'd play the eugenia recording for everyone So just so you can understand who this is this is just like a you know like a cute cup and haggie girl and then her husband Who's like the Danish Carson Cressley cute cup and Hagen girl and then her husband who's like the Danish Carson Cressley. Okay, let me press play on this.
Starting point is 01:19:49 You're doing it. I'm just gonna lay living, living I'm just gonna lay on screen I'm just gonna lay living, living I'm just gonna lay 아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아아 오
Starting point is 01:20:54 아 One, two, one. But I'm... No! No! No, been again! That was really good. That was really good.
Starting point is 01:21:23 And Leanne actually did this very, and of course she was like, I just, I just want everyone to know that I actually accidentally hit record on that. So we have actually recorded all those ethereal tones. And I just want everyone to know that I actually, I just want everyone to know that I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually,
Starting point is 01:21:39 I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I know that I actually accidentally hit record on that, so we have actually recorded all those ethereal tones. Cameron's like, I was Ortsian College, so I totally belong here. I was going to use Laces, and they would play music, and then I would go to these lasers and they would play music and then I would do this. Does anyone remember gallery girls?
Starting point is 01:22:14 We all, how much, when Cameron said she went to art school, how much is it so clear that Cameron is clearly the Liz of whatever art school she went to, right? All right. Remember Liz on Gallagher Girls? She goes, some Asian steps on my canvas. So like, Asian is like kids, and they like to step on my canvas with them. It's like, what? God, I'm mad about that show all over again. I'm still hating that girl. She's like 50 with like kids now, you know, like she's fine.
Starting point is 01:22:44 Okay, so Carrie is like, you know, like she's fine. Okay, so Carrie is like, oh my God, this was amazing. It's like no, it wasn't. You just scared the hell out of your entire family. And then you've got all these ladies in this poor little coffee shop. Like the end was like, shh, shh, shh, shh, they're all crazy.
Starting point is 01:23:02 So they go back to the hotel, bar lounge. And I'm carrying like, guys, I wanted to say churs because like, thank you so much for everything you did. Because this is like, there was a girl I saw when I was eight. Now I saw her when I'm like, I don't know, 40 something. And like, we saw each other and we're like, hey girl. It's gonna like change my relationship with my dad. So thanks guys.
Starting point is 01:23:23 Yeah, thanks, thanks. Thanks, girl. Thanks, chairs, chairs, chairs. So Brandy is like, is it finally my turn to start a fight? So she's tried everything, so now she's just gonna come out and say it. She's like, Leanne, Mama Dee told me that you called me an alcoholic. Um, what do you have to say?
Starting point is 01:23:47 This is like no legs to stand on at this point. Like the day after last night where she drank the entire hotel clear and had barfed all day everywhere they went. She's like, did you tell someone I'm an alcohol addict? Man's like, I don't believe I said alcohol. I think not saying that word. Alcohol. I may have said alcohol is Zoom. I don't recall.
Starting point is 01:24:15 But not alcohol addict. No, I don't know. I don't remember. Mm. She said yes, you did. And man, Leann's like, well, you know, Leann starts her normal thing. But then she tells that,anne's like, well, you know, Leanne starts her normal thing, but then she tells that, she's like,
Starting point is 01:24:26 look, I don't think Brandy's even sophisticated enough to be an alcoholic, okay? I mean, alcoholics are smart people, okay? They have to hide the fact that they're alcoholics. That bitch is a drunk, okay? That was honestly one of Leon's greatest lines. Not sophisticated enough to be an alcoholic. And Cameron, of course, is like, you know, alcoholic, that's a big word.
Starting point is 01:24:56 Like, little one. That's like one, two, five, four syllables. That's my incase idea slices. Of a five syllable word. So Brandy is now like, the thing is, Leanne, is that like, my adoption isn't final. My adoption is not final. So I came to go up and again, and I got wasted for three days on national television.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Like, would you like some meth with that? Anything I can help with this application, Brandy? Now, I'm not one to judge. I am not an alcoholism, counselor, or whatever, whoever does the official judgments, but... Other drunks, of course, who else? Here's a really nice to meet you. Here's a really bad way to defend your sobriety.
Starting point is 01:25:45 I was never an alcoholic, but when Brian and I were at our lowest point, I was drinking a bottle of wine every night just to numb myself to get through it. And Leanne triggered that. My girl, you just said that on TV. I'm not alcoholic, I just drink so I don't have to feel things. They better not take away my baby because of Leanne. And then everyone goes, everyone's like, brandy, that was really brave of you to share that. Thank you, brandy. And Leanne, they got to Leanne be like, you're all just here with Iroh? Yeah, Leanne's like, I win, right? And she
Starting point is 01:26:24 tells us she has, who's gonna call the alcoholic people? Who's gonna call the adoption people? Me? What am I supposed to say? Hi, adoption people. I'm just here. Oh, I really dialed that. Hi, yes, it's Leanne. Yeah, we spoke last week. Okay, yeah. I faxxed you over those pictures.
Starting point is 01:26:43 It is hard finding effects from scene. My ex-friends mother has one so I use that. You'll get it. She's drunk. All right good luck. If you need me to sneak in there in the middle of the night pack it up in a cardboard box and put it out in front of the fire station so you can wait for it. Okay I'll do that. Thank you. How do you even know how to call the adoption agency? That is great. I mean, you know what's funny? Not how to think about adoption agency. I guess if you shorten that, you just call it A-A, huh? You can call America Airlines, get a new baby,
Starting point is 01:27:17 and fix your drinking problem all on one website. God bless America and God bless Texas, right? And that brings us to the end of the real hit. Thank you guys. We're going to go to a after party. Thanks to our friends for making it. Right now. Right now. You guys.
Starting point is 01:27:39 Thank you guys for making it such a special night here. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you too to come back, good night everyone! Hey bitch, if you don't know me you'll welcome me to blow me back. Hey bitch, hey bitch, everyday's a parade don't keep it by the shape. Back in the clouds we're in a face of bucket bids, but I build them all cause when I play I win. People might think content said I'm the man, asking need lots of questions, I answered everyone head back Head back, head back Pretend not to love me, don't think you're above me
Starting point is 01:28:33 Head back, head back You could try to hate me, but life celebrates me Boy, another boat, all around the world Even track celebrates me Boy, bad girl, bad Another boat, bad sped All around the world, even track Such a stretch, bad mommy, bad daddy You know, baby, bad sped We can't be the holy book, even God said, direct sped BITCH! Blazing deals, boundless options. Its hot grill summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14 through July 4.
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