Watch What Crappens - RHOD: I Can't Feel My Two-Face When I'm With You
Episode Date: August 30, 2017Halloween means so many things to the women of Real Housewives of Dallas. It's a time for forgiveness, for Mexican food, and for LeeAnne to dress up like Two-Face. Yes, it's another excitin...g episode of RHOD's triumphant second season, and we are here for it. Come listen to our recap and then stick around for Listener Spotlight! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about
on Bravo.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantra Blender
podcast.
Joining me as usual on this marvelous hump day
is the man of 1,000 emotions and joys.
It's Ronnie Carram from TreshtalkTV.com.
And there was Prick Spencer podcasts.
What is up, Ronnie?
Well, hello, Ben.
Hello, hello.
Cycling through my thousands of emotions.
Yes, all in a three-pig in this day.
And if you look over a second,
I'm on one of my hundreds of emotions.
I'm excited because we got a nice little write-up
in LA Weekly.
We got a nice little write-up on KTLA
about our live show this Saturday.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, did you see them?
It's awesome.
Really awesome.
So we're really excited about that.
Of course, buy your tickets.
Go to watchcraftpist.com, find ticket links there.
It's going to be an amazing, amazing show.
We're doing scavenger hunt the next day,
do an after party, all that good stuff,
selling cool exclusive merchandise. And of course, we have superstar guests, all that good stuff, selling the cool exclusive merchandise.
And of course we have superstar guests, Jeff Lewis and Jenny Poulos and Gage Edward from
flipping out.
What more could you ask for, right?
Oh, and by the way, we're also giving away a flight from orbits.
So like, well, yep, it's going to be flying around.
Someone's going to fly.
What more can I ask for? I can ask for Keaton to do his eBay job
Okay
That's what I can ask for Ben. Oh, yes, well, we've all had Keaton's in our lives before have we not
We've all been Keaton's in our life. Have we not oh, yeah, I've been super hard. Yeah, I've been to when I was younger
Wow gosh so many things that like my parents would be like here been like talk have we not. Oh yeah, I've been super hard. Yeah, I've been to when I was younger. Wow,
gosh, so many things that like my parents would be like, here Ben, like, talk, this person's
like pulling a huge favor from me for it's that way you could be an intern. All you have
to do is call her and then I would never call. And then all you have to do is get out of
bed. And I'm like, no, no, I mean, at least Keaton was out of bed. And, you know, it looked
like he had taken a shower and he has glasses,
which makes him smart.
So I feel like he's still a better son than I ever was to be fair.
She'll Deandra only started complaining like a half an hour after she
gave him directions to sell stuff on eBay.
So let's give it a shot.
Let's give you a shot.
All we're saying is give Keaton a chance.
I know, but in her defense, it was half an hour after she'd left the room and he was already gone.
He hadn't even tried.
He went back to his room to not eat.
So we're talking about Real Housewives of Dallas, by the way, in case you're wondering.
And that's what we're talking about today, as it is Wednesday.
Today is our Real Housewives of Dallas Day and also our listener spotlight day. So, hey, yeah,
yeah, it's exciting. And we're also going to be doing listener spotlight our live show too.
So some of you are going to be able to come up on stage. Yes, let's get into Dallas,
shall we? Sure.
Leanne's no bull, but all horns. It just hit me that she's still fucking with the trolley
even in her opening line because trolley's don't have horns.
It's like every, every time I see something new, it's about Leanne
starting a fight on the show.
Hong, hong.
I'm all horns.
I'm like you, trolley, little dinger. Little dinger, Drowley.
Why don't you be a real car?
Real bus is doing it, get stuck on tracks.
Oh, so we opened with a close up of a big rubber witch.
And I thought, oh my god, finally,
they're getting a real woman to be on this show.
It's like the before picture of Carrie's office.
Yeah.
So it's Halloween time in Dallas and it's getting spooky around these parts because Stephanie
is going to be having a big Halloween party and she's, we see her at home trying to make
a signature cocktail which apparently tastes disgusting.
I don't even know what's in it but I'm sure it's a vile.
Um, I make, I, I mean, I don't day drink.
Well, I do day drink, but only when I have friends over.
I'm not like a sad person.
Well, I mean, I am sad about Brandy,
but only just because I can't talk about poop
with anyone else, so I have a drink in the day.
So that makes me bad.
I love neurotic stuff, and I know.
So then her party plan on Rachel comes over
and they're trying to figure out what the
plan is for the Halloween party and Rachel's like, I have this idea.
How about the theme of bad romance?
It's like really glamorous but really scary and dark.
I'm like, what does any of that have to do with any of it?
None of those words are going together right now.
No kidding.
She's just throwing out words. She just got out of the car and
Spotify was playing bad romance. She's like, okay, let's just go with that.
She's like, how about the theme is look at what you made me do. And it's just
like a very half-ass party theme. How about that? How about a theme of we built this city? And we'll
just have broken light bulbs every place. And she's like, it's going to cost you like
$9 million trillion to get those special light bulbs. And she's like, it's okay because
Travis spent millions on a house without telling me so I can spend thousands on a party
with that telling him. which sounds not only completely unhealthy and a marriage but also
like the worst revenge ever it's like hey surprise it's a surprise party as
you're got you yeah I mean we all you know we all remember that song by of
course the woman whose name I can't remember is like hey ladies did it it it
it was like all about like bring up your Nordstrom car when your man treats you
wrong but I feel like this is a blue can't help but I feel like this is a this ladies, it was like, oh, about like, ring up your Nordstrom car when your man treats you wrong.
But I feel like this is a blue Cantrell.
But I feel like this is a bad path.
I feel like fighting money fire with money fire
is just gonna lead to poor fire.
But it's like fighting fire with like a little tiny sparkler.
You should say.
I mean, at least like a big fire would make a, you know, huge fire,
but she's just like, I'm fighting fire with, you know, I don't even know just fire.
Like a fire, a little tiny match or something. Why don't you really twist the knife and get
a macaque too? Yeah. So, so the party planner building onto her grand idea of bad romance, which is glamour, but dark.
She's like, let's just have a bunch of chandeliers, but on the ground, it'll be like a chandelier graveyard.
I'm like, this is now like Phantom of the Opera. I don't understand where this is going.
It's also just another bad, kind of older pop song. Like chandelier here.
It's like, did you just do all of your work on the way here or what? also just another bad kind of older pop song. Like, sandalier here.
It's like, did you just do all of your work on the way here? What?
She just really wants popular songs from like three or four years ago.
But it's like Liam heard them because she came dressed like a black and white cookie like, see, yeah.
Here's what I'm thinking. We're going to just like put a lot of red on the walls.
This way, this party's team is bad blood because now we got bad blood, right?
Oh
My god this planner
She's just like rolled out of bed and showed up in her robe. She's like all right life's bad romance
Everybody here here. I broke my Nokia film put on the floor. I say call me maybe theme
Phone graveyard
The theme is cold brew. Yes, I'm drinking when
But it is a good idea the theme is Machiato because I just got one from my reward at the drive-through
You know what's scary than smart water am I right? Okay, that's the theme of the party
The theme is is literally I cannot like just please be quiet. That's the entire theme.
Literally I cannot just be the be quiet right now.
So then we skip over to Carrie's house and Carrie's really working her domesticity story line
this year. She's like, look, I have a kitchen eight. Wow. You really are a real mom.
Yeah, you're doing it all.
Yeah, she's making cookies with Zuri.
And the OCD and me got very, had some problems with the scene
because Zuri cranked up the kitchen eight to 10
and the flower went everywhere.
I was like, that's what you get for being domestic.
She can't know kidding.
And Carrie is still can't escape it.
Like she's trying not to be Mark's aid at the office,
but she's like using her kitchen aid.
It's like just stop being an assistant.
Okay. Go get another job if you want independence.
Please, please.
So, um, Carrie's like, Mommy, you don't even know how to do it.
She's like, you think I'm an idiot.
God, it's like you're a tiny version of your daddy.
She's a biscuit and I'm her gravy.
And I don't eat biscuits.
We're gravy.
We're gravy.
So, by the way, I have to say, I was kind of jealous
of that completely unnecessary feature in their kitchen,
which was a water spigot over there or stovetop.
Did you notice that?
Yeah, I've seen those.
That's a rich house thing.
Yeah, it's like totally unnecessary, but like watching that, like, that thick,
powerful stream of water come out of the nozzle.
I was like, that probably fills up a pot so fast.
I'm so jealous.
Yeah, that's why they haven't like, they're always serving the entire doubt.
Mabbi cast.
It's like, well, we must have a spigot
so we can get enough water for the bot
without breaking the cooks back.
Okay, okay, no.
Okay, Gary.
God forbid you carry the pot from the sink,
from the kitchen island over to the stove top.
Rich women everywhere in Texas would be dead
under like just huge pots of water.
I mean granted, it looked ugly as hell.
It looked really ugly,
but the shoe of water. I mean granted it looked ugly as hell. It looked really ugly, but the shoe of water
was just so impressive.
It's not that I will boil 13,000 pounds of penne,
but I can.
I can't mother fuckers.
That's the thing that bothers me is that you know
they're not having any of that pasta
that they're gonna be filling up a pasta pot for.
I mean, what else are you gonna fill up
a giant pot of water for?
No one boils anything to pasta these days, right?
Everyone roast their vegetables.
No one boils their meats anymore.
Maybe chicken stock.
I don't like chicken stock.
I like Dallas for making your think about stuff like that.
And I like you that you both, you both notice the spigot, the stove top spigot.
Yeah, because that is like a regional thing.
I see those all over the place in Texas,
like every rich lady has a spigot over the over the stove. It's weird. And isn't that like
basically asking for grease fire, right? That's bigger. You like hit that spigot back.
Sit in the water splashes down and then all of a sudden that hot of it goes everywhere.
Oh my god. I mean, still obsessed with like who's using these and why? What kind of parties?
And who caters their own parties?
And is that for the caterer?
I just want to know who's boiling that much water if they're not making pasta.
Like literally, what are you boiling these days?
I'm not even trying to be like, what are you boiling?
I'm actually curious what is being boiled other than if you're making a stock.
And I don't believe Carrie Dubor is the type to make her own chicken stock.
No, I don't think so either.
Thank you.
I don't know, but I need to move on from the pop because I'm like
obsessing over it now.
Now I'm really thinking about
pods. I'm actually a little like potatoes.
Yeah.
I know I'll buy a big giant pot.
Like where's the bread maker in this kitchen?
Yeah, you know, we're obsessing over it because we started with Dallas today.
Normally we start recording on Tuesdays with our bonus episode. I just realized we're
starting with Dallas. Oh yeah, we went backwards. Normally we have time to like shake it out.
Yeah. So we don't have to. That's our third Taylor Swift reference in this episode.
She's like, Boila pot. Boila pot. So next step is Cameron. She's like, she'll never go out of style. Damn it.
Sorry, I got T-swift on the brain.
Oh, she's like, we are never, ever, ever getting back together.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cameron, but can we just say how amazing is Cameron?
Cameron is so hilarious.
Ever seen with her is the best. And you can tell she's always like this in real life
because her husband is just beyond frustrated already. That's just the beginning of the day.
He looks like he wants to kill himself. Absolutely. She's like, because they're driving to
Mexican restaurant with their daughter, Hilton. And she's like,
Hilton and I were watching purses to dinner tonight, court.
Did you see that court? Do you know where we're going tonight?
We're going to an authentic Mexican restaurant where they only speak
Spanish. And I want to watch you order in 12 different languages.
So I'm not the only one confused at the table. Okay, honey. Yeah. Cabo was amazing. And
we're just craving more and more Mexican food ever since we went to Cabo San Lucas.
Also to hear Spanish. It's like music to my baby's ears. Mariyachi music. I love that
gentleman in studded shirts and big hats. Like music I don't understand.
I'm confused but I get chips. So I like it. But they're so adorable. I wish I
could roll them all up in their own tortilla and then have my own Mariyachi
burrito. She's so proud of her ignorance.
It's embarrassing.
The kids like,
oh, por favor,
necesito coca cola por favor.
You know, she's like,
despacito,
but Cameron's like in the car,
she's talking about how Stephanie's
could be having a Halloween party
and courts like, oh, what night is it?
She's like, it's on Halloween,
it's a Halloween party.
And he's like, oh, babe, I have that other event.
You know, the one I just came up with right now, it's really important.
It's really, really important, babe.
Yeah, you know that other party where everyone's not going to come up to me,
asking me if I'm dressed like Danny DeVito.
Okay.
That party.
You know that other party where people aren't gonna say, hey, are you
here for the My Cousin Vinny Revival party? And you know that party where people
aren't asking me where the pot of ring, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
is. You know that party where people don't keep coming up to me and saying, hey
weren't you the door guy from business? I mean, that guy's black. People still see
if I ask me if I'm that guy. You know, a party where
people aren't going to come up and ask me the ending to
twin peaks. Oh my god, two weeks was so good this week.
Anyway, she's like, but you are speaking backwards. He's
like, I'm speaking Spanish. Do you mind if I call you Bob?
Can I put up some red curtains in Hilton's room?
So the kid is like speaking Spanish fluently to the waitress and the dad's like, wait a minute.
Is sprito sprite?
Damn, like you are sneaky.
Now what's your mommy order a ticotto?
Does that sound good?
A ticotto?
How about a nacho?
I'm like, come on now.
How do you say chicken to cuito in Spanish?
To cuito?
To cuito?
By the way, I'd like some binos.
I would love some binos.
They actually bring her bino.
I, by the way, I loved the way she walked into the restaurant. It was sort of like nightmare before Christmas, but it was like gay Christmas.
She's just sort of like teeters in with her head sort of like tilted to the right.
Like all those Tim Burton, like stick figure dolls.
I loved it.
That's a really good way to put it because she does do that all the time.
She walks, she talks and walks with her head tilted and her eyes really wide open and her lips burst and her eyes are
always kind of rolling back in her head. But she's quietly amazed by every room she walks
into like how? Look, they're people in this room too. I like when she said, um, Mike daughter feels like she's so powerful because she
knows a language that mommy doesn't. And I love when she's standing in a place of power.
Okay. She's like, I brought a colorez book. She's like, oh, and her husband's just rolling his
eyes. Like there's not enough fucking mojito in the world to get me through this on Bucco desk caloro
And she's trying to speak Spanish and she winds up saying my mother. I want to keto in Spanish
And then she's like how do I ask for chicken taco? How do I ask for chicken taco?
The kids like los siento mi madre es un puta gringo
do pira Do I say yo kiro polo taco? The kid is like, I'm sorry, I'm not a fucking gringo, stupid guy.
Do I say,
Yo-Kiru Polotaco?
Can you ask that nice lady if her chick wore way
would like some pink dog food?
El-Daw-Foot, El-Daw-Foot, Del Pinto.
Dog food, come on, Pinto, dog food, dog, dog dog dog dog, dog comedie, essay, pinko. Oh, honey, I love that you're
standing in your place of power. Now, could you please press your powerful finger to press
two so mummy can speak in English? I really want to know if they have a tuna sandwich. Tunacito del sandwich.
She's like, now what is this?
She's like, it's hamburger.
Well, way to appropriate.
What is they, hey, Tari yet vegetarian only?
It's in English.
Tell Daddy and Espanol that pink dog food would be fabulous.
She tells us, she tells us, I want to show my daughter that you can be a great wife
and a mother and a brilliant business woman. I want to pass it on to her.
You're begging your husband for some money for a really terrible, unmarketable
idea that makes zero sense. And it sounds toxic. It's just like Boca Raton Chipotle guacamole.
Also included in this lesson, Mary Rich and do whatever you want. And he won't leave
you because divorce is mutual expensive.
Okay. Isn't that right?
Frida Cita.
And I'm just like, that's not even my name.
Okay. I'm speaking English now.
Get out of the restaurant.
So next up, back at Carrey's house, she's like, Hey, honey, I used to kitchen thing.
Well,
but you didn't come to the office again.
I hope dinner's going to be good.
I thought you said you'd have a glass of wine for me. I guess I'll get myself one.
Oh, can I even walk there because I'm wearing our arsox? I don't even know. I
just keep making laps around the kitchen island. Celebrity beef, you never know
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Did you wipe off the spigot after you used it?
I can see it dripping.
She's like, well, trying not to let your kids
set herself on fire.
So that was pretty important.
You know how many kids die every year
and kitchen aid accidents, Carrie?
Okay.
And then she serves dinner and he's like,
well, not a very big dinner, baby,
but I had a late lunch, that's okay.
And she's like, yeah, well, you just lost 200 pounds.
So I'm trying to keep you on the straightener, okay?
Okay.
So she's like, she just wants to annoy him. You know she's pretty much over him this week.
Last week, she was way over excited about him entering a dress-o-manicum show.
Yeah.
And this week, she can barely take him. So she says, well, watch how we eat green beans.
Let's show him. And so she does the lady in the tramp green bean thing
after picking up food with her hands with her kid.
And he's just like,
is it really?
This woman's trying to make me crazy.
Yeah.
We then go over to a restaurant where Brandy walks in.
And I'm getting really tired of Brandy's like hushed voice
because she's like, hi, table for two please. I'm like, could you just like try to put
some energy into the most basic communication. And when you're like, I have those same
exact boots, like the complete opposite. Yeah, exactly. And now I'm like, okay, I take
it back because she needs to like counterbalance the lia. So they exactly. And now I'm like, okay, I take it back
because she needs to counterbalance Leanne
so they can find a happy medium of energy between them.
I love your gorilla boots.
We call it gorilla boots.
You get a gorilla?
That was a fun gorilla.
When Leanne orders, you know, I always love a Bravo star that will order really fat ming shit That was a fong gorilla. Wimlian orders.
You know, I always love a Bravo star
that will order really fat ming shit
and actually eat it.
She's like shrimp and grits, please.
Which made me so homesick.
And then Brandy's like,
I'll have shrimp and grits too,
but not that much.
Maybe just a little bit.
Not that much.
They're not going to reportion
shrimp and grits for you, Brandy.
Yeah, just don't finish the plate.
Give the rest to Leanne.
You don't know shrimp and grits.
I could have some rotten.
Now, so how's Rich doing?
Well, it's nice to have him home, you
know, ever since that I problem, you
can't see me.
So we hear me better.
Them wonders for our communication.
The other day, I thought I heard him playing the piano, but it was just, you know, it was
just the radio.
He was just sitting there tapping the table.
Every time I go into the hardware drawer he gets so scared.
I'm like, Rich, I'm not taking out the sandpaper.
Here's that rustling.
He can't even go to staples anymore because all that that paper sound You will not believe what happened this morning. I caught an email about
Steph's Halloween party in an email this morning
Okay, the type of list post is that a commentary about my sign paper issues
The restaurant clears out
like scandal
An email to a Halloween party
It's crazy. She's like me too.
She invited me.
I don't get it.
I mean, one minute.
She's texting about me.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, click, click, click, click, click.
And now I'm invited.
Yeah, it's the Twilight Zone.
It was all just about, you know, people being confused about manners.
Wait a minute. And then she also set herself up. She's like, which Stephanie is this? She's being
too faced with me. So I hope you heard that because I'm going to take that too, Facelight. I'm
going to run to the rest of the episode. She's going to have a costume every week
to get her point across.
Last week, she just wanted to call somebody a dick.
So she wore a hot dog.
And this week, she's calling her two-faced.
So she's dressing literally as two-faced.
She's going to run out of money, you know?
She's just not the richest housewife in the world.
She can't be spending, she can't be blowing her load
every week at the party store.
She's very literal.
She's kind of like the therapist
in the starting overhouse.
Do you remember that show?
When it was like, you have a lot of baggage.
So to help you get rid of your baggage,
we've brought you six pieces of baggage,
and you have to put them in a truck and send them away.
I'm like, is this really supposed to help?
She's very literal.
Or the time that one woman,
I forget her name, it was her name Joy, or something like that.
She had to go on trial against herself, so they brought her to a courtroom and they put up, they put a mannequin,
that the prosecutor was a mannequin and the mannequin was her and the judge is Deli Rees.
And Carrie just makes the mannequin look as gay as possible. It changes the whole court case.
as possible. It changes the whole court case.
Objection. I would like to defend the mannequin, please.
Joy. Your honor. Joy is the real criminal here, not the mannequin version of joy.
Don't judge me. I'm the judge here. It's like, no, you're just wearing a judges robe.
You can't just keep doing this inherit the lian
so Brandy's like yeah that's crazy that email I haven't replied either she's coming over tomorrow
she's like well I was like oh and Brandy like, do you really not know what you've done?
It's just like, actually she doesn't know
because she's emailed you and calls you like 10 times.
You won't respond.
So yes, she has no idea.
I just want her to hear me.
It's like no one can hear you.
Like you're literally unhearable
What What
Spin it out trolle
I wanted to hear me but I want like how she wants her to hear she wants Steph to hear her and yet
She won't actually talk to Steph. Yeah.
I want her to hear me.
That's why I won't speak.
So Leigh Ann's like, well, now this is trouble.
Big trouble right here in River City.
She's like, I would never stand between their friendship.
Now, I will send it down to a toothpick size and stab her in the throat and she tries to ditch me.
Where are those shrimp and grits?
Speaking of shrimp and grits.
Speaking of shrimp and grits.
You know, it's funny how you said how they are so high in calorie and how like, you know,
you respect on these shows when someone orders something that's high in calorie and actually eats it.
Well, for a lot of us, we've been eating things that are way too high in calorie and we need a little bit of a lifestyle change. Am I right, Ronnie?
All I want to do is eat.
David, I lost four pounds today.
Well, if you've tried to lose weight, you know how crash diets don't work.
But is it really better to chain yourself at the same outdated program for the rest of
your life?
David?
And get stuck in the same patterns every week?
David?
Stop that.
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Haha, if you're planning a party, but whatever.
David? David, I know we're in Douglas, but I feel it's important to discuss this because
I'm on my own weight loss journey right now, David. And did you know that if you just go to num.com slash crap ends right now to get your first two
weeks of Noom for free, then you get a 10% off your subscription that's Noom and OOM.com slash crap ends
to get started your two week. By the way, we had to call them, I believe it's at 50%. I have to stop
the chat and adore impersonation. Our copy says 10%, but we're supposed to have updated copy,
so I apologize.
It's supposed to be 50% off.
Well, isn't that nice?
You just started to change the rates, right?
In the middle of the average.
Yeah.
David, did you know that you're
be changing the rates in the average?
No, no.
Oh, for sure. I'm No, no. For sure.
It's just you guys.
It's new.
It go to newm.com slash slash crap ends.
And you'll get your two week free trial and get 50% off your subscription.
Newm.com slash crap ends.
Well, we really stumbled our way through that and we need everyone.
Actually, we went on to the website because, you know,
we checked it out and like you you enter into stuff and they like figure out a whole plan
for you. It's actually really cool. And as I am trying to tone up a little bit, I'm going
to use it and, you know, I'm going to get some results out of it, baby.
I'm making some changes. Baby. No shrimp and grits for me, baby.
Well, but see, that's the thing. You can't have shrimp and grits for me, baby! Well, but see, that's the thing.
You can't have shrimp and grits.
You just, you know, you can't be like me in order shrimp and grits with the side of French
fries and a starter salad with blue cheese, extra croutons, and lots of bread with butter.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, and it's like, it actually is, like, they're all about, like, not being like a diet.
There's like a lifestyle.
So once you, like, you go on this program and then when you're done after, we'll close it like two or three weeks.
But it says on the website, but once you're done, it's like,
oh, this is my life.
Yes, this is my life and my new life style.
My new life.
I saw I gained a British accent by using name.
So next up, we go over to Jeremy and Andrews has. Yes. And he's like, babe, I'm going
to make some lobster. Now here's what you do. You get lobster tail on a pan. And then you
put some butter on it and then a little paprika here on the bottom with some water on the
bottom of the pan. And I think I'm going to put it on the top of the oven like last
time. Look, I know you're new to TV,
but please don't feel the need to do this for TV.
You're not on the food network.
Okay.
This is not watching someone's like kind of
hot husband cooking lobster tail.
Yeah, it was.
That being said, I was watching it.
I was like salivating.
I was like, I want lobster tail.
I want someone to make me lobster tail
Me too. Who's also hot? Yeah, exactly. So dandruff is like oh that that is so sexy
I'll never forget the first time I introduced him to my folks
He was all over me my mom loved it. Let me tell you that he was an octopus around my dad
I suddenly realized how this relationship works.
She basically decided to marry this guy
who she knew would piss off her mom
for the rest of her mom's living days,
which will be probably for about 45 more years.
She's never gonna die.
Yeah, her mom will never die.
And then when dandruff dies,
so gonna happen and her mom will be the one with the gates.
You think I'm gonna sit here playing a horn waiting for you, Missy? No.
Hey, you're not getting in here until you are ready, okay? Fine, I'm gonna have anybody.
No, you're not going to hell, either, okay? You don't get to go anywhere. Per-got-tory.
Where are your African hidesods now, huh?
You better get a hair net on, Missy.
You're gonna need it.
But you're absolutely right what you're saying,
because if you look at Dan Dra's life choices,
her lifestyle choices, they're all to piss off her mom.
Like she is with a guy who is already married or whatever,
which you know, moms like that.
That's a big deal. Yeah.
She is, has, you know, animal peltz all over her house. She's designed her house like Africa,
which you know, that makes her mom crazy. Yes. Yeah, she's really going there with every single
choice, trying to piss off her mom. And I like, yeah, and then it's like a it's her husband is is a creative type, you know, taking photos
He's not he doesn't work in an office per se all the things that he hates. It's great. He's a poor
He's a poor in the mind of you know her mom
He's probably I don't he probably has some progressive views on things
Yeah, he probably refuses to like exfoliate or something
He's like damn it. That is the last straw.
So we meet one of DeAndras or DeAndras,
Stepson's Keaton, the famous Keaton that we're discussing.
He's 21.
He, we learned that he went to college in South Carolina, but just was not for him.
And now he's here in Texas, he's going to start over and just try to figure things out for himself.
Apparently he has an eating issue,
because they keep on saying to him,
like, did you eat today?
He's like, I had a bowl of cereal 12 hours ago.
You need to eat.
So, yeah, and then when you do see him eating,
he's eating like, it's not comfortable to eat.
He's like, I'm making my mouth move. Things are moving around in it, do not comfortable to eat. Yeah, he's like I'm making my mouth move
Things are moving around in it do not like this feeling. Yeah, he may have a male eating disorder
We do not know but um, yeah, so his whole thing is that he's doing nothing with himself
And he doesn't have a job so Deandra's like well, I can give you a job because I like to give I like to push all the people that I love
You know like my stepchildren and my dogs and my employees.
You know, they're all on the same level,
if you know what I'm saying.
Hey, you wanna know someone who's being pushed?
Her name is Jackie, go ask her what that's like.
We're Jackie's at the factory, like, ah, here she comes again.
She's coming over here to push me.
I mean, the job that I worked 25 years to get
and I still don't have.
Yes, now this parenting style is, you know, I'm not sure about this because she's like, well, he tried college, but he didn't, it wasn't for him.
And now, you know, then he went nowhere in a dead end job.
So we said, you know, what, we're going to give you the chance to start all over.
So this is not, how is that teaching anybody anything?
I know.
Now, I wasn't the best kid with a ton of self,
not dependence.
What am I trying to say?
Control.
Discipline?
Yes.
Either a Soviet judge, but I don't think this is going to help.
Because they said, so what were you doing today?
What did you do all day?
And he's like, I was upstairs doing online applications.
It's like I'm looking for a blockbuster to work at.
Well, that's closed.
Well, it's baby steps, you know?
Baby steps.
So the big push is to get him out in the real world,
is to propose this idea that he'll go
and sell a lot of dandruff clothing on eBay
because she needs more space in her closet.
So they're like, we were thinking that maybe you could get,
because I don't know really how to use eBay,
but so you can get on eBay, I just made my account.
And you can get on there, and you can auction off my clothing.
Do you think you can do that, Keene?
Will you do it? And then the music's like,
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Everyone's looking like,
Will Keene sells stuff on eBay. And he's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Everyone's looking like, will Keaton sell stuff on eBay?
And he's like, yeah, that's fine.
There's like a huge long pause.
And he's still chewing his first bite of food, like slowly.
And he's like, do you have any count already?
She's like, yeah.
Okay.
Great news, Ma.
Keaton's gonna sell stuff on eBay for us.
I know, put it in the monthly family newsletter.
And the dad's like, okay, Keaton, you know,
it's out of love, son, because we want to better yourself.
So he's gonna be working out of the garage on eBay.
Come on.
So then we go higher.
So then we go over to Brandy's house,
where Stephanie has shown up.
It's time for the big Brandy's Stephanie confrontation
where they're gonna finally air out all their grievances.
So they can't even play the drama music too loudly
because neither one of these bitches can speak.
They broke the whisper.
It's like the big whisper war of 2017.
I wrote down in my note the battle of the
hush voices.
The music's like,
Hi, hi, thanks for coming over. Thanks for having me want to
come in. I'll come in.
Do you want some iced tea? Okay.
And then it shows the montage of their beautiful friendship. And it's like Stephanie popping
a quirk in her eye. And then then putting bandanas on bowl statues, laughing at poop jokes.
Oh, how far they've fallen.
It's like beaches.
Yeah, so they go outside to the back and they start talking and Brandy's like, well,
I was really hurt.
You know what father's day?
What are you were yelling?
I really hurt. And know, and then that day, I just couldn't get out of bed. So I was so depressed.
Okay.
But it was Father's Day.
So I had to go.
She's like, well, I think we're a lot alike, but it's like you're disassociating with me
because you're embarrassed.
Now they don't cut to clips of them laughing about poop or brandy stripping in that club
or whatever.
They cut to a clip of Leanne yelling yelling her against that brick wall with that party
Where she's like your charity world is over like throws glass
How is that brandy's fault?
No, because no because the whole point was that Leanne goes you keep hanging out with her and your charity world
Gonna go down the toilet. Oh, okay, so it's all think it's like what the hell? How's on her
bottom? That makes a lot more sense. The editors just wanted to throw in a flashback
of Leon losing her shit, which I respect. Yeah, me too. And she said, um, you said my marriage
was like watching a slow car crash. Well, to be fair, I was talking about bumper cars,
you know, because they're made for kids and they're not as violent, but they're just I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going Oh, and then she goes Stephanie reads it because she brings up the thing. She's like, you had this published in the media.
It not only hurt me, it hurt my husband.
He didn't let me order appetizers for a whole year.
It's definitely like, well, um, that was my block.
So it's like, it wasn't rude.
It was my block.
It's my block.
You can't get mad at blogs.
So you're with saying like, um, well, listen, bitch, we're both on Bravo and they make us write these
blogs and I had to say how I felt and that's how I felt and that's what happened.
And by the way, it was incidentally, when Stephanie was showing Stephanie the blog, it was
kind of funny because you could see the Bravo blog on her phone.
I was like, this is getting so meta right now.
Yeah.
It was my blog.
And if you were mad, this was like an easy conversation
to have.
You know, like maybe it's going to be my morning once I've
had my second drink.
And if you heard you, you could have talked to me
a long time ago.
I just don't get it.
I was trying to be there for your manage,
but it was like a difficult position to be in, you know,
because you were whispering.
And then he was like mad.
Remember when he lost that restaurant?
It was like, it was like basically a car crash, but slow.
Like you did it again.
I'm sorry.
But I mean, Stephanie's right.
I think this could have been squash in one conversation.
Like, it's so ridiculous.
It's so ridiculous.
It's also very confusing because Brandy says,
and also a news person told me that you confirmed that my kids were kicked out of their school.
Well, we knew about that on the reunion last year.
You know,
I remember because member Andy was like, well, we hear that you've had some problems, not only in your marriage,
but also with your family. She's like, yeah, my kids were kicked out of school
because they, you know, it's a very Christian school
in Plano and they didn't really like my behavior
on the show.
And it was sad.
Like you're really bringing up,
you're bringing up pre-reunionship from last year.
It's not gonna work.
And well, then also she's like,
then Brandy starts to choke up and she's like,
and then Carrie, I mean, she called you,
ride and die.
I'm like bitch, you have to relax, okay?
Other people can call other people,
people's ride or die as it's okay.
If you still wanted to be Stephanie's ride or die,
you should have responded to her phone call.
Yeah, and stuff's like,
well, I called her my ride or die because it's like right or
die.
Like with you, it would have been right and die because you know, so the car crashes and
I could die, you know, even though it's a slow car crash, I could still die in it.
You know what I mean?
So at this point, Brandy does not shed one tear, by the way, through this whole thing.
And she has like a million bright when she says right or die, she goes, you said right
or die. But she doesn't cry. when she says writer Dish, she goes, you said writer Dish!
But she doesn't cry, she just makes that like,
squiddy face.
And Stephanie's legit crying.
Yeah, well the thing that's funny is that,
you know, right now it's like,
Brandy's talking about saying everything
that Stephanie did wrong.
So then finally Stephanie started saying,
it's like, I just, I kind of feel like,
you know, you threw me away like a piece of trash
and like, I felt like I was just so discarded,
so quickly
And they just cut to brandy and her eyes just like they turned these like evil slits of darkness
Did you notice that like because when she when she gets upset she's squins and all you see is her mascara
So it just looks like two black holes of evil. I'm not saying she's evil
But her her look at that moment was pure evil. She does get a scary look when she's angry.
Yeah.
And then she's like, I needed to pull away to see if you valued our friendship.
And stuff.
And he's like, I mean, I called you nine times.
I mean, how many times have to call you before you see that I thought you are friendship.
By the way, I also like that when Stephanie starts to cry she sounds like she's losing soul reception.
I just say, well I have so many feelings.
I'm just gonna take you.
And then so they decide to make up and they hug really hard and she goes, I snotted
on your hair.
It's like it's okay.
I need to wash it anyways.
It was a hard summer.
I feel like you died
I just like I kind of did inside the first time I couldn't order fried calamarik as my husband was so mad
Well, we miss big things huge things big things. I have a pool in my living room now
She's like really? That's great. I had a miscarriage. It's like oh my god
I actually thought this sequence, believe it or not,
because we've seen people fight in the makeup.
I actually thought this was a very genuine,
truly emotional moment.
I thought it was moving when they finally,
I think actually you said Brandon didn't shed a tear.
I actually think she did shed tears.
Because when she finally was like, I miss you
or whatever, whatever was, at one point she just like,
she just broke down into sobs. I thought that was like a very sincere moment.
And I thought that was really nice when they hugged and you know, they were like, let's never fight again.
I mean, hopefully it will, hopefully it will last. So then when she said that I had a miscarriage,
I thought that was actually like really, really, really sad moment because like this, she went through something traumatic and she didn't have her best friend for it. I was like that was sad.
I know, but she was the one who was ditching her friend.
So like, oh my god, but I do, I mean, obviously, like that's incredibly painful.
But it probably explains a lot of why she was so upset too.
Yeah, there probably was like, is probably that was probably really.
Yeah, it probably affected.
It's never really issue, okay?
Is it a issue behind the show?
Yeah.
Right.
God.
Well, actually, it's probably the issue behind the issue
because it's definitely is like, how is Brian about it?
And she's like, we don't really talk about it.
It's like, oh, great.
Glad to see things are going well in your marriage, still.
I think we've seen her husband say like three words to her
this entire show.
Yeah. So I'm not surprised.
You don't talk about anything. So then we go over to Deandra's closet and she's showing
keyed in all her clothes and she's like, this one cost three thousand. How much do you
want to think this one cost? He's like $50. No, it's $18,000. But I can't really wear
the game. It's like, we need to research this because I paid $3,000,
$19,000, $57 million.
He's like, for that.
If I didn't eat anything today, I would have thrown up.
He's like, I have spinach in the back of my tooth
and it's disgusting me.
I need to take a sick day. He's like, I have spinach in the back of my tooth and it's disgusting me.
I need to take a sick day. I had to have a tick-tax before. I am disgusted in myself.
So he's like, how do you slide all these expensive dresses by my cheap ass dad? And she's like,
sexy time. He's like awkward, you know,
Keaton's like, I have wanted to throw up ever
since I moved back here.
This is not helping.
Yeah.
So then one of our favorite things
is a scene of Leanne going to therapy,
which I just love.
I think Leanne and therapy is the best.
I think Leanne is, you know,
whenever people go to therapy on the show or on these shows,
it's such bullshit. It's like, okay, they need something to do. They're not really whatever.
This is not bullshit because Leanne does therapy the way that we all do therapy,
which is you go in, you tell your side of the story to make yourself look better,
and then you take zero advice into what you want anyway. I mean, that what therapy is.
Welcome to America. Yeah, exactly. So she comes in and she tells the therapist that she's
concerned that brandy and staff have made up so quickly and she's basically, she's concerned
because she thinks it's fake and she thinks she's gonna push it out again and be the outside
and the crazy human of the group. Like, Leanne, don't worry, you already are. So don't worry about that.
Yeah, and we'd love you for it. I love that the life coach loves her to have so much because Lee is like, I have so much to talk about. And she's like, I'd like that. If
there were no messes, the bounty man would be at work. Just be like an imprant on empty plastic.
She's all excited to get this mess cleaned up. And Lee and it's like, well, there's a Halloween party. I found out on an email.
That's like not weird at all.
Well, it is, okay.
Coach.
And I don't get it.
Do I have to go?
Oh, no, no.
She goes, I'm going to go.
Stephanie's inspired me to go with two face.
Yeah.
The not-nice side of me has allowed Stephanie to inspire my costume.
I'm throwing the two face. And they're like, okay. I don't get me has allowed Stephanie to inspire my costume. I'm throwing this to face.
And they're like, okay, I don't get it.
You have to.
And she goes, okay, well this is what two faces,
one side of their face is like,
ah, I'm Stephanie, I'm an idiot, I'm dumb,
I talk like a baby, I'm trying to ruin your life
for no reason.
I said, Jean tells you don't understand.
And then the dark side is like,
Ha, I'm stifling.
I'm a jerk.
I hate everybody. I'm gonna be mean to Louang.
It's like that's like the same thing.
I don't get this.
Okay, let me put it this way.
Two faces like,
one half is like,
Ha,
um, public transportation,
um, help in America,
and Dallas.
And the other half is like, Ha, I'm a trolley. Just getting your way and just slap me. Yeah, on public transportation, on help in America and Dallas.
And the other half is like, ha, I'm a troll.
I just getting your way to slam it.
And the life coach is like sipping her coffee like,
mm, that's not who you are.
You know, the costume mixed with the attitude,
mixed with the anger, mixed with the alcohol and liangas.
It's a recipe for destruction. A destruction
Rita, if you will, selt it up. I want it extra salty frozen, not on the rocks. Like how
can you say that's not who she is? Like literally if Leanne had ingredients listed on
the back of her, it would be costume mixed with with attitude, mixed with anger, mixed with alcohol,
mixed with sodium nitrate because she does preserve well. And Carnies. Carnie trauma.
And a perfect aim with the dart. And amazing boss sets from being able to hit that thing with
a hammer, make the thing go all the way up to the top. Ding!
Don't be a float napple in and buck it because you could get bit. Hahaha.
Be-
Hahaha.
Don't go Bob and if you don't want to be bit.
Hahaha.
So she's like, um, you know what you need to do?
You need to just walk away.
This is a terrible idea.
She's like, but it was gonna be cute.
And hateful kind of a way. Hahaha. But still cute. She's like, but it was gonna be cute and hateful kind of away.
But still cute. She's like, no, it's gonna be terrifying.
She's like, but cutely terrifying.
Okay. She's not even pretending that she'll listen.
I just like how in this entire episode, no one seems
that be aware of what two faces. It's like a lot of Batman
the literacy going on.
She's also kind of looking like Corella Deville,
which is just making, yeah,
just kind of making everyone else's point.
Yeah, this is a Victor Victoria,
but don't meet, she just can't tell.
So, hey guys, I know you were wondering about this.
Don't worry, there are still tons of bull statues
in everybody's yard in Texas.
So the next shot, it's like bull statues. Yeah that's the next shot. It's like, bull statues.
Yeah, we're over at DeAndre's house.
She's dressing like Monica Lewinsky for the party.
Although she didn't really look like Monica Lewinsky to me,
she just sort of looked like Valerie Bernelli in France.
She did, or like Mariazman.
Yeah, probably Mariazman's a better call.
I had to pause it just to look at her and be like,
who is that?
Oh, so the husband guy is like, who are you?
She's like, I'll give you a hint.
Happy birthday, Mr. President, Wink.
And he's like, Marilyn Monroe?
No, Monica.
No, it's actually Marilyn Monroe.
You actually made the Marilyn Monroe reference.
She just said I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
Or it depends on what the definition of it is or whatever is on what was it?
Is is if yeah, depends on what the definition is.
Is and he's like, where's the stain on your dress?
And she's like, well, you know that if my mom saw a stain on my dress, she would be
for your yes.
Don't worry, I can take care of that.
Yeah, which is why I'm bringing the jar of nannies in my purse.
So he puts on a gray, uh, gray wig and he just keeps trying to say the
Bill Clinton line. He's like, I will not have sexual relationships with you.
That's how old this is.
No one even remembers the lines anymore.
She's gonna be jumping out of a cake,
looking like Valerie Bertinelli in France.
So they go into the closet and she's like,
now I do have an issue because look at this.
He's like, yeah, lots of clothing.
No, the issue is that it's not gone.
Keaton hasn't sold it on eBay yet
And in my mind, I'm like okay a few things first of all you assigned it to him this morning second of all
It takes like most eBay auctions take like a week
Third of all that's assuming anyone wants to buy your your dress and fourth of all
And I don't have a fourth of all that
probably goes on a roll I felt very empowered I love an improvised list yeah
fourth of all your ebay world is over but the same orange dress that she pulled
out was still there she's like what did he leave the second I left yes he did
yeah you started talking about fucking his dad and he took a sick day
yeah you can't blame him, you know?
Yeah, exactly.
So then we go over to like a little production facility in Dallas.
Where Carrie and Mark have arrived to shoot on some videos for their website.
Oh my God.
And Carrie is still pissed.
Yeah.
She's like, Mark wants to do our online videos and it takes time.
And you know what?
You know what else takes time? Spending time with my daughter. videos and it takes time. And you know what, you know what else takes time?
Spending time with my daughter.
That's what takes time.
A whole lot of pressure.
You think it's easy to pull down that kitchen aid
from the top shelf without a maid there?
It was hard.
It's gonna take time.
A whole lot of patience of time.
My daughter almost started herself on fire,
mixing cookies.
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, it to do it to do it to do it to do it right
now. Thank you Ronnie. I thought I was gonna get lost in the ether but you're almost dead. I'm
going back to you. I'm going back to you. It almost did with my big mouth but then the song started
playing in my head and I was like we're going back circle around. That's right. I'm putting that ear worm in everyone's like Alexa played George
Harrison Sorry, everyone
Um, I came up with an idea for a George Harrison party
Okay, the Halloween theme is gonna be
Got my mindset on you and we're just gonna put a bunch of dead
Shandleers everywhere and you're just gonna say to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it right
Shandleers everywhere and you're just gonna say to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it right
So they have to do these online videos for their business or whatever and she's hateful and he's like hating that she's hating him and not even trying to hide it She's like what are we supposed to do again Mark?
He's like we talked about this come on and the director goes um now as a husband and wife
It's gonna be great to see everybody
to see how you're working together.
And she's like, why are you glaring at me, Mark?
Yeah, it's like, well, you don't wanna work with me these days.
So, it's not a glare, it's more like sadness.
It's like you don't wanna come to work,
you can't get dinner done right, can't pour a glass of wine.
She's like, oh, I wanna raise my kid, God forbid.
Yeah, it was basically watching them do this video, was like watching a local news channel where the two anchors hate each other because
You know, he's you start talking about how they work together and she's like, yeah, we are always together always
He's like, yes, it's great being with a woman. He thinks that it's acceptable for me to walk around in socks that say LL
Because it's acceptable for me to walk around and socks that say LL. Because it's not cool, Jay. I feel like I made that joke last week.
I'll probably make it every week, I'm sorry.
We're gonna, like, I mean, when is that any different?
Like we're gonna make those sock jokes all week because that's my favorite thing I've ever
heard on this show.
Honey, tell them made, I don't like when she balls up to our our socks.
And then he can't do anything about it. He just is like, ah, well, I guess I just have to go to work. What is the point of labeling things?
Yeah. So they're just getting annoyed at each other and being passive and their
video and the director is just smiling politely, wondering where her dreams went
after she graduated from Tish. How did her life end up like this?
She's like, I'm sitting in front of a large screen TV
with a Chromecast.
Like, we don't even have an Apple TV in here.
My life sucks.
I should have studied harder.
She's like, I once applied to Sundance.
Mark was saying, well, you know, all these ladies go out and they get Botox and then their
brows look funny, you know, because it gives them this arch.
And in some women, it makes them look angry.
It's like, Kerry's like, Kerry.
God.
Kerry whose face is now turning into spy versus spy.
Yes.
She's like, well, I do tell some women who have
Arby's face that they just need a brow fix, you know, or a
husband transplant. And he's like, well, Botox is overused,
just like transplant jokes. And then they stamp the ladies like
great, you really make everybody want to cut off their face.
So good job, guys.
Gonna sell a lot of lifts.
So we then go to the big Halloween party. And Carrie Mark show up first, they're dressed. He's a trainer and she's a
Tigress, but she's in that body painting situation. So she's
basically naked.
Yeah, Carrie just walks in naked. And Stephanie's like, oh my
god, it looks like you have a costume on. Are you naked? I'm not depressed. I didn't drink today. Oh, well, I did drink today. Right
now I'm drinking. You're naked, aren't you? She's like, look at my nipples. Mark's like,
eh. And then Brandy and Brian show up as Mr. Mrs. Skelliboner, which is like, oh, good.
Now that they're not, not that Brandy and Stephanie aren't fighting anymore, it's like
back to the really, really really stupid like basic jokes.
Skeleton and Ryan had like weird skeleton cornrows spray painted into his head. It didn't
really make sense. Yeah. I it's a lot of effort. You know normally when people come
with skeletons, it's just like I got this at target. Yeah. But they actually have like
yeah, cornrows painted onto their head. That's it.
It took some time.
It was, yeah, I mean, it was definitely an elevated skeleton situation.
So I understand the need to be more than just Mr. Misses skeleton.
It was like to be there were scallop owners, you know, and camera in this pink princess.
Yes, of course.
And Liam's like, well, there's carries but. First thing I see is carries but and I see that from both of my faces because I'm too face to face
Everyone's like, what?
What's that? Are you Krulla Deville?
No.
Are you an old movie?
No.
Are you a newspaper?
No.
Do you see red all over?
What's black?
Because I'm not black and white and red all over.
I was just gonna say that. I'll give you a hint. What's black and white and red all over?
Newspaper? No! Two-faced!
Are you a Picasso penguin? No!
Steamboat, Willie? No!
Brandy goes, what's two-faced? She has has two face, you know, is that a movie?
No one gets it. Well, I was warned against this, but I couldn't resist. I'm Stephanie.
And then carries on the other side of the room like, look, it's my nipples.
Everyone has nipples. Kid you milk me.
out of the room like, what? It's my nipples.
Look at my nipples.
Everyone has nipples.
Kid, you milk me.
So then in one in one like section of the room,
there's the girls are talking, including,
basically brandy and Cameron.
And they're talking about pageants
and what their talents would be,
what Cameron's talent would be.
They tell Cameron, she looks like she's in a beauty pageant
because of her princess dress.
And so Cameron says her talent would be going on a shopping spree and see who could go the fastest.
And then Brandy is like, okay, well, maybe we'll just enroll you in a page that requires no talent.
Cameron's like, I can't believe she said that.
She thinks I'm that dumb to not understand what she just said, honestly.
understand what she just said, honestly.
Tractor, that's what I do. I pretend that I'm dumb and then people fall for it.
But then I'm really smart.
So joke is on you, Brady.
Okay, joke is on you.
And she's like, well, what's your talent?
I hear that she's good in a strip club
or making poopy jokes and having potty mouth.
Or speaking really quietly,
I wonder if that counts in Miss America's.
I wonder if that counts as a talent.
She's like, I wonder if she can even order a
koka kolo in Spanish.
Probably doesn't even know what a
concital is. Or how about a PAPC?
Bern.
That's your pay.
Mark goes up to Leanne. He's like, uh, who are you?
And she goes to face. And he's like, I don't get that.
What's off.
And she as well.
You can save whatever you want to about Mark.
But hey, sure knows his fashion.
Like, okay, okay, man.
We got that.
Did you see the Tiffany Hendra cameo appearance?
Yes.
She was like a sexy cop or some sort.
It's wondering where her where her fake Johnny Resnick boyfriend was.
Or kind of a portif.
For me, like she didn't she didn't even get to say hardly anything.
She's like, hi y'all, I'm dressed as October.
Sanctuary of style, y'all.
I'm gonna do video about this in my closet later.
So Travis was really good. Because someone showed me where the kitchen is, I think I'm gonna do video about this in my closet later. So Travis was someone show me where the kitchen is.
I think I'm gonna do some lines.
Looking for a new date.
I'll be on the bathroom.
I'll be on the floor of bathroom.
Or I'll be on the bathroom with the God damn it.
I'll be on the floor in the bathroom.
Looking for a new date.
I dumb dumb.
So Travis goes over to Stephanie and he's like,
Leanne is telling people she's you because she's too faced.
I'm going to throw a route.
She's like, no, don't ignore her.
Just ignore her.
Pretend she's Tiffany.
Who?
Exactly.
Gosh, I wish we had a pool in this living room.
We'd throw it right in there.
So then it comes this weird calm fight that we saw in the sneak peeks a few weeks ago.
They're like, we're housewives of Danish returns.
Like these ladies have this conversation all fight.
It was so weird.
And we are sitting there in her crazy outfit. But Stephanie's like, um,
and Leigh Ann goes, well, you know what? I do have issues. I do still have issues.
Because a lot of things you've done confuse me. Like, hmm, you're like, like your costume.
Yeah. And she's like, if you think I'm a bad person, I just want you to tell me to tell me to
my face. I'm like, I think that's what she's sort of doing right think I'm a bad person, I just want you to tell me to tell me to my face.
I'm like, I think that's what she's sort of doing right now.
Leanne does it.
Because I'm nice to you. Like I always come up and I say, how do you? I'm like, hello Leanne.
She's like, well, yeah, to my face. Then you go behind my back. I mean, say what you want to my face.
And she goes, well, I'm scared of you. And you know, I get really hard to talk to you because you're really, really, really scary.
She's like, look at you right now.
You're scary.
I don't think you get much clearer than that.
I think she's pretty much saying it to your face.
And she's like, watch your words.
Because when you stand out words, they go spinning.
They spin through families.
Like a trolley that's out of control. You know,
I feel about them drollies. And Brandy's like, guys, I think this should be a private conversation.
And carries like, um, yeah, because like, uh, now I feel awkward. I'm like, now you feel
awkward. You're walking around a party naked. This is what it took.
Oh my goodness.
And then I love in the corner, Deandra and Cameron,
basically the newbies are just talking to themselves
and being like, those are the girls over there
are ridiculous.
They just like getting together and creating,
create drama.
That's like, what is wrong with them?
Those stupid idiots.
Yeah, it's called being on a housewives show.
Yeah, exactly.
But then of course,
yeah, then of course they walk right over
and start gossiping with the rest of them.
But Dandra goes,
well, Leanne basically got used by Brandi
like as a summer fling or whatever.
And I just think that she's testing Brandi right now
to see what side she takes,
which is, you know,
she is a friend of Leanne's
because she knows her very well.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Because Leanne, who doesn't even try to hide her intentions
because she can't.
She's just like, she'll say whatever's on her mind.
So she takes a brandy outside and she's like,
well, I saw you in Stephanie hug.
She's like, yeah, but we did, but you know,
you know me, I'm not one to hold back.
It's just a woman who refused to speak her mind for a year.
Yeah, and then I was like, I listen to you cry,
and it broke my fucking heart.
I don't want you to get hurt again, y'all.
Meanwhile, the girls are inside gossiping.
And Stephanie is like, yeah, Leanne apparently was telling everybody
that Leanne is me because she's sufaced.
But she said, I don't mind, I totally don't mind.
I totally don't mind at all.
And the ender was like, that is so rude.
You don't do that when someone else is house.
Yeah, but it's okay.
No, it's not because you live here.
No, that's all right.
No, it's not all right.
It's like having a zebra pelts and somebody judging it. This is my house.
Right. I wonder if Deandra is going to turn on Leanne because I forgot that they were
like really close friends and Deandra was pretty vocal against Leanne during the scene.
Yeah. Well, I think they just will fight it out. Yeah. That's probably how it was.
With that first scene scene we saw Dan
Jordan Leanne together where they were having dinner with their husbands.
They were giving each other some pretty harsh shit.
I thought and they haven't really hung out.
For how some by the way, you know, like we saw that first scene.
But since then Leanne's just been hanging around like carrying brandy.
Yeah.
But I think we will because these these new girls, I think are going to come
out swinging in a couple of weeks. there both like okay we're mad now
bring it on but you know what's great is that they are so entertaining
i mean i think camera is just entertaining everything that comes out of her
mouth is hilarious
d'andra on her own is maybe not as entertaining but her mom is so amazing
her relationship with her mom
so what i like is that they bring they don't bring like
combativeness necessarily but they bring something interesting to watch. Yeah. And Stephanie
is telling us, she's like, well, like at the end, it's obvious she's up to her old ways.
I'm like, ding, ding, ding. This is just what you got in trouble for texting last time.
Like the same quote, Stephanie. Yeah. Oh my God.
And she tells Travis.
Travis, don't kick her out.
Let me fix it.
Okay. Let me fix it.
There's a pool in the living room.
I can't fix that.
So let me at least fix the other big pool of leaky mess.
Brandy.
Okay. I'll fix her.
And then Brandy's like,
well, I saw I saw you throw
Diggs Leann Brandy's like, well, I saw I saw you throw
the X-Liam and she's like, yeah, but you felt like she was this too, right?
Like if this was like before your whisper fight, you would have like been into this costume.
Wouldn't you?
Like, why are you pretending you don't know what two faces will not send you that movie?
Batman forever. Okay, it's supposed to be forever remember forever Tomilee Jones and Leanne can be a violent insecure mess but I like that she does
just say what's on her mind because she says look I've really enjoyed being friends
with you and I heard you met and made up and And you know, I think that's great, but I just worry, is it gonna be everyone
against Leanne again?
Do I need to worry?
Oh my God, wait a little lay it out there.
Yeah, exactly.
Brandy does maps her.
She just looks at her like,
I'm a skeleton.
Skelet boner.
Ha ha ha.
Look, you can poop in my little pumpkin.
So, another episode in the can for Dallas, I'm really, really
loving Dallas this season. I think it's really come so far. I
think it's I was only like 15 minutes in and I was already
tweeting last night that I feel like it's in like in a
different league this this year. It's just it's some
whatever's happening, whatever's happening behind the scenes
in terms of whoever's producing it
or just the chemistry of the cast,
it's like working for me right now.
Yeah, me too.
I'm loving this show.
I feel like people are watching it too.
It's not weird.
I feel like season one,
I feel like people weren't really watching it,
but this season I feel like I'm seeing videos of it
on social media and like gifts and everything.
It seems like people are like, it's, people are watching.
So it's like really cool.
Yeah.
Good.
I hope so because I love this show.
Yeah, I hope there really is.
And now, let's get over to some listener spotlights.
Say how we be?
Yeah.
listener spotlights is a segment that we do when we turn the podcast over to the listeners for about two minutes
and they tell us about themselves if you want to be one of those lucky people
it was lucky people you go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ins and support the
podcast at the listener spotlight level all All the details are there. Today we have Mary Ahanyol.
I hope I said that right.
I probably put your name, but we'll see.
Okay, everyone ready?
Here comes Mary.
Hi, Ben and Ronnie.
This is Mary Aiongo.
I live in Indianapolis, Indiana.
I am such a huge fan of you too.
I found you first on TV Gasm and Housewives' Hode-Down.
So I've been reading and following you for a long time.
Wow. I work from home, so I basically have bravo shows on in the
background all day and then wait for you to put out a new podcast. I have two
kids so whenever Ben makes fun of mom hair I always get a little nervous and
think, wait is he talking about me and then realize of course he is I'm a Midwestern
mom and the literal definition of mom hair. Sorry. Somehow the face led me to watch the very first episode of Real Housewives of Orange County,
the first time it was on, and I have been hooked on the Housewives ever since.
I drew the line at watching any other shows on Bravo, keeping up with all the different
cities was enough, but I would still listen to your recaps of other shows, and you have sucked
me in to so many of them.
I literally listened to the first two seasons of Southern Charm recaps before I finally
gave in and watched them. I had to see if Thomas and Catherine were real.
I feel like this season of OC is such a snooze, but hearing your Shannon and David
makes it worth it and I just can't stop watching. I'm obsessed with Lewin and I
can't wait for her interview with Andy. You guys make me laugh so hard and I get so excited every day when a new episode magically
appears in my podcast.
I don't have a super sweet heartwarming story about how listening to you got me through
a tough time, but you guys bring me so much happiness and joy I feel like we are friends.
I'm so excited you're coming to the Midwest.
I am coming to the Chicago show by myself.
I've already found some people in the Facebook group
who are going solo too.
So I'm not worried about it, even with my mom hair.
Love you guys.
Oh, Mary, we love your mom hair.
We love it.
We love you.
That was a good one.
And I also did miss pronounce your name.
So I'm sorry about that.
That was so sweet.
Wow, I can't believe that you've been around
since TV guys have been house up,
hold down. That's so amazing when there are these listeners who that. That was so sweet. Wow, I can't believe that you've been around since TV guys have been house I've put down.
That's so amazing when there are these listeners
who've been around for so long,
and then you finally get to hear their voices.
It's so, so cool.
And you don't have to have a whole, you know,
serious story behind why you listen, you know,
just saying that it's just something that entertains you.
It's good enough, you know?
So. Yeah, that was a really good one. It was good to hears you. It's good enough, you know?
So. Yeah, that was a really good one.
It was good to hear from you.
And I'm like, is he talking about me?
Of course he is.
I'm a mom in the Midwest.
So funny.
It is. Thank you for that, Mary.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, it's fun.
And that's the end of our Wednesday show.
We made it through Wednesday. Tomorrow, we're back with our third and final real housewives of New York City
reunion episode recap so that will be fabulous. You know next week, uh,
below deck classic starts up. So so we'll I'm assuming that we'll just plug that in where New York is is vacating, right?
Yeah, and where, um, York is vacating, right? Yeah. And where when is that, Lewand interview?
Sometime next week. I don't know. Find out. We'll know. We'll get.
We'll get to get that one in there too. Obviously. Yeah.
Absolutely. Um, very excited for all that. So you guys go to watch
crap is calm. Go buy tickets to our show. Go to LA weekly and read a little
right up there. That was super cool. And we'll talk to you tomorrow.
Thanks everybody. Bye.
Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and
support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you
don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo, you mentioned the podcast.
Spreading the word really helps us grow, and it means the world to us.
Also check us out on Instagram and at Twitter.
On Instagram, we're at Watch Where Crapins.
On Twitter, we're at What Crapins.
You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms.
Ronnie is at Ronnie Karam on both Instagram and Twitter, and I'm at B side blog on Instagram and Twitter.
Really, thank you guys so much.
We really mean it.
We appreciate the support.
And even if you do none of those things,
we're just happy you're listening.
Thanks.
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