Watch What Crappens - RHOD: I Can't Feel My Two-Face When I'm With You

Episode Date: August 30, 2017

Halloween means so many things to the women of Real Housewives of Dallas. It's a time for forgiveness, for Mexican food, and for LeeAnne to dress up like Two-Face. Yes, it's another excitin...g episode of RHOD's triumphant second season, and we are here for it. Come listen to our recap and then stick around for Listener Spotlight! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crap-ins listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch a crapens dot com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends.
Starting point is 00:01:21 Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantra Blender podcast. Joining me as usual on this marvelous hump day is the man of 1,000 emotions and joys. It's Ronnie Carram from TreshtalkTV.com. And there was Prick Spencer podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:43 What is up, Ronnie? Well, hello, Ben. Hello, hello. Cycling through my thousands of emotions. Yes, all in a three-pig in this day. And if you look over a second, I'm on one of my hundreds of emotions. I'm excited because we got a nice little write-up
Starting point is 00:01:58 in LA Weekly. We got a nice little write-up on KTLA about our live show this Saturday. Oh, cool. Yeah, did you see them? It's awesome. Really awesome. So we're really excited about that.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Of course, buy your tickets. Go to watchcraftpist.com, find ticket links there. It's going to be an amazing, amazing show. We're doing scavenger hunt the next day, do an after party, all that good stuff, selling cool exclusive merchandise. And of course, we have superstar guests, all that good stuff, selling the cool exclusive merchandise. And of course we have superstar guests, Jeff Lewis and Jenny Poulos and Gage Edward from flipping out.
Starting point is 00:02:31 What more could you ask for, right? Oh, and by the way, we're also giving away a flight from orbits. So like, well, yep, it's going to be flying around. Someone's going to fly. What more can I ask for? I can ask for Keaton to do his eBay job Okay That's what I can ask for Ben. Oh, yes, well, we've all had Keaton's in our lives before have we not We've all been Keaton's in our life. Have we not oh, yeah, I've been super hard. Yeah, I've been to when I was younger
Starting point is 00:03:04 Wow gosh so many things that like my parents would be like here been like talk have we not. Oh yeah, I've been super hard. Yeah, I've been to when I was younger. Wow, gosh, so many things that like my parents would be like, here Ben, like, talk, this person's like pulling a huge favor from me for it's that way you could be an intern. All you have to do is call her and then I would never call. And then all you have to do is get out of bed. And I'm like, no, no, I mean, at least Keaton was out of bed. And, you know, it looked like he had taken a shower and he has glasses, which makes him smart. So I feel like he's still a better son than I ever was to be fair.
Starting point is 00:03:33 She'll Deandra only started complaining like a half an hour after she gave him directions to sell stuff on eBay. So let's give it a shot. Let's give you a shot. All we're saying is give Keaton a chance. I know, but in her defense, it was half an hour after she'd left the room and he was already gone. He hadn't even tried. He went back to his room to not eat.
Starting point is 00:03:54 So we're talking about Real Housewives of Dallas, by the way, in case you're wondering. And that's what we're talking about today, as it is Wednesday. Today is our Real Housewives of Dallas Day and also our listener spotlight day. So, hey, yeah, yeah, it's exciting. And we're also going to be doing listener spotlight our live show too. So some of you are going to be able to come up on stage. Yes, let's get into Dallas, shall we? Sure. Leanne's no bull, but all horns. It just hit me that she's still fucking with the trolley even in her opening line because trolley's don't have horns.
Starting point is 00:04:31 It's like every, every time I see something new, it's about Leanne starting a fight on the show. Hong, hong. I'm all horns. I'm like you, trolley, little dinger. Little dinger, Drowley. Why don't you be a real car? Real bus is doing it, get stuck on tracks. Oh, so we opened with a close up of a big rubber witch.
Starting point is 00:04:56 And I thought, oh my god, finally, they're getting a real woman to be on this show. It's like the before picture of Carrie's office. Yeah. So it's Halloween time in Dallas and it's getting spooky around these parts because Stephanie is going to be having a big Halloween party and she's, we see her at home trying to make a signature cocktail which apparently tastes disgusting. I don't even know what's in it but I'm sure it's a vile.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Um, I make, I, I mean, I don't day drink. Well, I do day drink, but only when I have friends over. I'm not like a sad person. Well, I mean, I am sad about Brandy, but only just because I can't talk about poop with anyone else, so I have a drink in the day. So that makes me bad. I love neurotic stuff, and I know.
Starting point is 00:05:41 So then her party plan on Rachel comes over and they're trying to figure out what the plan is for the Halloween party and Rachel's like, I have this idea. How about the theme of bad romance? It's like really glamorous but really scary and dark. I'm like, what does any of that have to do with any of it? None of those words are going together right now. No kidding.
Starting point is 00:06:04 She's just throwing out words. She just got out of the car and Spotify was playing bad romance. She's like, okay, let's just go with that. She's like, how about the theme is look at what you made me do. And it's just like a very half-ass party theme. How about that? How about a theme of we built this city? And we'll just have broken light bulbs every place. And she's like, it's going to cost you like $9 million trillion to get those special light bulbs. And she's like, it's okay because Travis spent millions on a house without telling me so I can spend thousands on a party with that telling him. which sounds not only completely unhealthy and a marriage but also
Starting point is 00:06:48 like the worst revenge ever it's like hey surprise it's a surprise party as you're got you yeah I mean we all you know we all remember that song by of course the woman whose name I can't remember is like hey ladies did it it it it was like all about like bring up your Nordstrom car when your man treats you wrong but I feel like this is a blue can't help but I feel like this is a this ladies, it was like, oh, about like, ring up your Nordstrom car when your man treats you wrong. But I feel like this is a blue Cantrell. But I feel like this is a bad path. I feel like fighting money fire with money fire
Starting point is 00:07:14 is just gonna lead to poor fire. But it's like fighting fire with like a little tiny sparkler. You should say. I mean, at least like a big fire would make a, you know, huge fire, but she's just like, I'm fighting fire with, you know, I don't even know just fire. Like a fire, a little tiny match or something. Why don't you really twist the knife and get a macaque too? Yeah. So, so the party planner building onto her grand idea of bad romance, which is glamour, but dark. She's like, let's just have a bunch of chandeliers, but on the ground, it'll be like a chandelier graveyard.
Starting point is 00:07:54 I'm like, this is now like Phantom of the Opera. I don't understand where this is going. It's also just another bad, kind of older pop song. Like chandelier here. It's like, did you just do all of your work on the way here or what? also just another bad kind of older pop song. Like, sandalier here. It's like, did you just do all of your work on the way here? What? She just really wants popular songs from like three or four years ago. But it's like Liam heard them because she came dressed like a black and white cookie like, see, yeah. Here's what I'm thinking. We're going to just like put a lot of red on the walls. This way, this party's team is bad blood because now we got bad blood, right?
Starting point is 00:08:28 Oh My god this planner She's just like rolled out of bed and showed up in her robe. She's like all right life's bad romance Everybody here here. I broke my Nokia film put on the floor. I say call me maybe theme Phone graveyard The theme is cold brew. Yes, I'm drinking when But it is a good idea the theme is Machiato because I just got one from my reward at the drive-through You know what's scary than smart water am I right? Okay, that's the theme of the party
Starting point is 00:09:04 The theme is is literally I cannot like just please be quiet. That's the entire theme. Literally I cannot just be the be quiet right now. So then we skip over to Carrie's house and Carrie's really working her domesticity story line this year. She's like, look, I have a kitchen eight. Wow. You really are a real mom. Yeah, you're doing it all. Yeah, she's making cookies with Zuri. And the OCD and me got very, had some problems with the scene because Zuri cranked up the kitchen eight to 10
Starting point is 00:09:39 and the flower went everywhere. I was like, that's what you get for being domestic. She can't know kidding. And Carrie is still can't escape it. Like she's trying not to be Mark's aid at the office, but she's like using her kitchen aid. It's like just stop being an assistant. Okay. Go get another job if you want independence.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Please, please. So, um, Carrie's like, Mommy, you don't even know how to do it. She's like, you think I'm an idiot. God, it's like you're a tiny version of your daddy. She's a biscuit and I'm her gravy. And I don't eat biscuits. We're gravy. We're gravy.
Starting point is 00:10:12 So, by the way, I have to say, I was kind of jealous of that completely unnecessary feature in their kitchen, which was a water spigot over there or stovetop. Did you notice that? Yeah, I've seen those. That's a rich house thing. Yeah, it's like totally unnecessary, but like watching that, like, that thick, powerful stream of water come out of the nozzle.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I was like, that probably fills up a pot so fast. I'm so jealous. Yeah, that's why they haven't like, they're always serving the entire doubt. Mabbi cast. It's like, well, we must have a spigot so we can get enough water for the bot without breaking the cooks back. Okay, okay, no.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Okay, Gary. God forbid you carry the pot from the sink, from the kitchen island over to the stove top. Rich women everywhere in Texas would be dead under like just huge pots of water. I mean granted, it looked ugly as hell. It looked really ugly, but the shoe of water. I mean granted it looked ugly as hell. It looked really ugly, but the shoe of water
Starting point is 00:11:06 was just so impressive. It's not that I will boil 13,000 pounds of penne, but I can. I can't mother fuckers. That's the thing that bothers me is that you know they're not having any of that pasta that they're gonna be filling up a pasta pot for. I mean, what else are you gonna fill up
Starting point is 00:11:21 a giant pot of water for? No one boils anything to pasta these days, right? Everyone roast their vegetables. No one boils their meats anymore. Maybe chicken stock. I don't like chicken stock. I like Dallas for making your think about stuff like that. And I like you that you both, you both notice the spigot, the stove top spigot.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Yeah, because that is like a regional thing. I see those all over the place in Texas, like every rich lady has a spigot over the over the stove. It's weird. And isn't that like basically asking for grease fire, right? That's bigger. You like hit that spigot back. Sit in the water splashes down and then all of a sudden that hot of it goes everywhere. Oh my god. I mean, still obsessed with like who's using these and why? What kind of parties? And who caters their own parties? And is that for the caterer?
Starting point is 00:12:08 I just want to know who's boiling that much water if they're not making pasta. Like literally, what are you boiling these days? I'm not even trying to be like, what are you boiling? I'm actually curious what is being boiled other than if you're making a stock. And I don't believe Carrie Dubor is the type to make her own chicken stock. No, I don't think so either. Thank you. I don't know, but I need to move on from the pop because I'm like
Starting point is 00:12:30 obsessing over it now. Now I'm really thinking about pods. I'm actually a little like potatoes. Yeah. I know I'll buy a big giant pot. Like where's the bread maker in this kitchen? Yeah, you know, we're obsessing over it because we started with Dallas today. Normally we start recording on Tuesdays with our bonus episode. I just realized we're
Starting point is 00:12:47 starting with Dallas. Oh yeah, we went backwards. Normally we have time to like shake it out. Yeah. So we don't have to. That's our third Taylor Swift reference in this episode. She's like, Boila pot. Boila pot. So next step is Cameron. She's like, she'll never go out of style. Damn it. Sorry, I got T-swift on the brain. Oh, she's like, we are never, ever, ever getting back together. Okay. Yeah. Cameron, but can we just say how amazing is Cameron?
Starting point is 00:13:24 Cameron is so hilarious. Ever seen with her is the best. And you can tell she's always like this in real life because her husband is just beyond frustrated already. That's just the beginning of the day. He looks like he wants to kill himself. Absolutely. She's like, because they're driving to Mexican restaurant with their daughter, Hilton. And she's like, Hilton and I were watching purses to dinner tonight, court. Did you see that court? Do you know where we're going tonight? We're going to an authentic Mexican restaurant where they only speak
Starting point is 00:14:02 Spanish. And I want to watch you order in 12 different languages. So I'm not the only one confused at the table. Okay, honey. Yeah. Cabo was amazing. And we're just craving more and more Mexican food ever since we went to Cabo San Lucas. Also to hear Spanish. It's like music to my baby's ears. Mariyachi music. I love that gentleman in studded shirts and big hats. Like music I don't understand. I'm confused but I get chips. So I like it. But they're so adorable. I wish I could roll them all up in their own tortilla and then have my own Mariyachi burrito. She's so proud of her ignorance.
Starting point is 00:14:46 It's embarrassing. The kids like, oh, por favor, necesito coca cola por favor. You know, she's like, despacito, but Cameron's like in the car, she's talking about how Stephanie's
Starting point is 00:14:57 could be having a Halloween party and courts like, oh, what night is it? She's like, it's on Halloween, it's a Halloween party. And he's like, oh, babe, I have that other event. You know, the one I just came up with right now, it's really important. It's really, really important, babe. Yeah, you know that other party where everyone's not going to come up to me,
Starting point is 00:15:17 asking me if I'm dressed like Danny DeVito. Okay. That party. You know that other party where people aren't gonna say, hey, are you here for the My Cousin Vinny Revival party? And you know that party where people aren't asking me where the pot of ring, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is. You know that party where people don't keep coming up to me and saying, hey weren't you the door guy from business? I mean, that guy's black. People still see
Starting point is 00:15:46 if I ask me if I'm that guy. You know, a party where people aren't going to come up and ask me the ending to twin peaks. Oh my god, two weeks was so good this week. Anyway, she's like, but you are speaking backwards. He's like, I'm speaking Spanish. Do you mind if I call you Bob? Can I put up some red curtains in Hilton's room? So the kid is like speaking Spanish fluently to the waitress and the dad's like, wait a minute. Is sprito sprite?
Starting point is 00:16:19 Damn, like you are sneaky. Now what's your mommy order a ticotto? Does that sound good? A ticotto? How about a nacho? I'm like, come on now. How do you say chicken to cuito in Spanish? To cuito?
Starting point is 00:16:36 To cuito? By the way, I'd like some binos. I would love some binos. They actually bring her bino. I, by the way, I loved the way she walked into the restaurant. It was sort of like nightmare before Christmas, but it was like gay Christmas. She's just sort of like teeters in with her head sort of like tilted to the right. Like all those Tim Burton, like stick figure dolls. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:16:58 That's a really good way to put it because she does do that all the time. She walks, she talks and walks with her head tilted and her eyes really wide open and her lips burst and her eyes are always kind of rolling back in her head. But she's quietly amazed by every room she walks into like how? Look, they're people in this room too. I like when she said, um, Mike daughter feels like she's so powerful because she knows a language that mommy doesn't. And I love when she's standing in a place of power. Okay. She's like, I brought a colorez book. She's like, oh, and her husband's just rolling his eyes. Like there's not enough fucking mojito in the world to get me through this on Bucco desk caloro And she's trying to speak Spanish and she winds up saying my mother. I want to keto in Spanish
Starting point is 00:17:55 And then she's like how do I ask for chicken taco? How do I ask for chicken taco? The kids like los siento mi madre es un puta gringo do pira Do I say yo kiro polo taco? The kid is like, I'm sorry, I'm not a fucking gringo, stupid guy. Do I say, Yo-Kiru Polotaco? Can you ask that nice lady if her chick wore way would like some pink dog food? El-Daw-Foot, El-Daw-Foot, Del Pinto.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Dog food, come on, Pinto, dog food, dog, dog dog dog dog, dog comedie, essay, pinko. Oh, honey, I love that you're standing in your place of power. Now, could you please press your powerful finger to press two so mummy can speak in English? I really want to know if they have a tuna sandwich. Tunacito del sandwich. She's like, now what is this? She's like, it's hamburger. Well, way to appropriate. What is they, hey, Tari yet vegetarian only? It's in English.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Tell Daddy and Espanol that pink dog food would be fabulous. She tells us, she tells us, I want to show my daughter that you can be a great wife and a mother and a brilliant business woman. I want to pass it on to her. You're begging your husband for some money for a really terrible, unmarketable idea that makes zero sense. And it sounds toxic. It's just like Boca Raton Chipotle guacamole. Also included in this lesson, Mary Rich and do whatever you want. And he won't leave you because divorce is mutual expensive. Okay. Isn't that right?
Starting point is 00:19:45 Frida Cita. And I'm just like, that's not even my name. Okay. I'm speaking English now. Get out of the restaurant. So next up, back at Carrey's house, she's like, Hey, honey, I used to kitchen thing. Well, but you didn't come to the office again. I hope dinner's going to be good.
Starting point is 00:20:04 I thought you said you'd have a glass of wine for me. I guess I'll get myself one. Oh, can I even walk there because I'm wearing our arsox? I don't even know. I just keep making laps around the kitchen island. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
Starting point is 00:20:41 We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:21:14 You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Did you wipe off the spigot after you used it? I can see it dripping. She's like, well, trying not to let your kids set herself on fire. So that was pretty important. You know how many kids die every year and kitchen aid accidents, Carrie?
Starting point is 00:21:33 Okay. And then she serves dinner and he's like, well, not a very big dinner, baby, but I had a late lunch, that's okay. And she's like, yeah, well, you just lost 200 pounds. So I'm trying to keep you on the straightener, okay? Okay. So she's like, she just wants to annoy him. You know she's pretty much over him this week.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Last week, she was way over excited about him entering a dress-o-manicum show. Yeah. And this week, she can barely take him. So she says, well, watch how we eat green beans. Let's show him. And so she does the lady in the tramp green bean thing after picking up food with her hands with her kid. And he's just like, is it really? This woman's trying to make me crazy.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Yeah. We then go over to a restaurant where Brandy walks in. And I'm getting really tired of Brandy's like hushed voice because she's like, hi, table for two please. I'm like, could you just like try to put some energy into the most basic communication. And when you're like, I have those same exact boots, like the complete opposite. Yeah, exactly. And now I'm like, okay, I take it back because she needs to like counterbalance the lia. So they exactly. And now I'm like, okay, I take it back because she needs to counterbalance Leanne
Starting point is 00:22:48 so they can find a happy medium of energy between them. I love your gorilla boots. We call it gorilla boots. You get a gorilla? That was a fun gorilla. When Leanne orders, you know, I always love a Bravo star that will order really fat ming shit That was a fong gorilla. Wimlian orders. You know, I always love a Bravo star that will order really fat ming shit
Starting point is 00:23:09 and actually eat it. She's like shrimp and grits, please. Which made me so homesick. And then Brandy's like, I'll have shrimp and grits too, but not that much. Maybe just a little bit. Not that much.
Starting point is 00:23:21 They're not going to reportion shrimp and grits for you, Brandy. Yeah, just don't finish the plate. Give the rest to Leanne. You don't know shrimp and grits. I could have some rotten. Now, so how's Rich doing? Well, it's nice to have him home, you
Starting point is 00:23:36 know, ever since that I problem, you can't see me. So we hear me better. Them wonders for our communication. The other day, I thought I heard him playing the piano, but it was just, you know, it was just the radio. He was just sitting there tapping the table. Every time I go into the hardware drawer he gets so scared.
Starting point is 00:23:55 I'm like, Rich, I'm not taking out the sandpaper. Here's that rustling. He can't even go to staples anymore because all that that paper sound You will not believe what happened this morning. I caught an email about Steph's Halloween party in an email this morning Okay, the type of list post is that a commentary about my sign paper issues The restaurant clears out like scandal An email to a Halloween party
Starting point is 00:24:26 It's crazy. She's like me too. She invited me. I don't get it. I mean, one minute. She's texting about me. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, click, click, click, click, click. And now I'm invited. Yeah, it's the Twilight Zone.
Starting point is 00:24:41 It was all just about, you know, people being confused about manners. Wait a minute. And then she also set herself up. She's like, which Stephanie is this? She's being too faced with me. So I hope you heard that because I'm going to take that too, Facelight. I'm going to run to the rest of the episode. She's going to have a costume every week to get her point across. Last week, she just wanted to call somebody a dick. So she wore a hot dog. And this week, she's calling her two-faced.
Starting point is 00:25:11 So she's dressing literally as two-faced. She's going to run out of money, you know? She's just not the richest housewife in the world. She can't be spending, she can't be blowing her load every week at the party store. She's very literal. She's kind of like the therapist in the starting overhouse.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Do you remember that show? When it was like, you have a lot of baggage. So to help you get rid of your baggage, we've brought you six pieces of baggage, and you have to put them in a truck and send them away. I'm like, is this really supposed to help? She's very literal. Or the time that one woman,
Starting point is 00:25:40 I forget her name, it was her name Joy, or something like that. She had to go on trial against herself, so they brought her to a courtroom and they put up, they put a mannequin, that the prosecutor was a mannequin and the mannequin was her and the judge is Deli Rees. And Carrie just makes the mannequin look as gay as possible. It changes the whole court case. as possible. It changes the whole court case. Objection. I would like to defend the mannequin, please. Joy. Your honor. Joy is the real criminal here, not the mannequin version of joy. Don't judge me. I'm the judge here. It's like, no, you're just wearing a judges robe.
Starting point is 00:26:22 You can't just keep doing this inherit the lian so Brandy's like yeah that's crazy that email I haven't replied either she's coming over tomorrow she's like well I was like oh and Brandy like, do you really not know what you've done? It's just like, actually she doesn't know because she's emailed you and calls you like 10 times. You won't respond. So yes, she has no idea. I just want her to hear me.
Starting point is 00:27:00 It's like no one can hear you. Like you're literally unhearable What What Spin it out trolle I wanted to hear me but I want like how she wants her to hear she wants Steph to hear her and yet She won't actually talk to Steph. Yeah. I want her to hear me. That's why I won't speak.
Starting point is 00:27:31 So Leigh Ann's like, well, now this is trouble. Big trouble right here in River City. She's like, I would never stand between their friendship. Now, I will send it down to a toothpick size and stab her in the throat and she tries to ditch me. Where are those shrimp and grits? Speaking of shrimp and grits. Speaking of shrimp and grits. You know, it's funny how you said how they are so high in calorie and how like, you know,
Starting point is 00:28:00 you respect on these shows when someone orders something that's high in calorie and actually eats it. Well, for a lot of us, we've been eating things that are way too high in calorie and we need a little bit of a lifestyle change. Am I right, Ronnie? All I want to do is eat. David, I lost four pounds today. Well, if you've tried to lose weight, you know how crash diets don't work. But is it really better to chain yourself at the same outdated program for the rest of your life? David?
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Starting point is 00:30:22 the chat and adore impersonation. Our copy says 10%, but we're supposed to have updated copy, so I apologize. It's supposed to be 50% off. Well, isn't that nice? You just started to change the rates, right? In the middle of the average. Yeah. David, did you know that you're
Starting point is 00:30:40 be changing the rates in the average? No, no. Oh, for sure. I'm No, no. For sure. It's just you guys. It's new. It go to newm.com slash slash crap ends. And you'll get your two week free trial and get 50% off your subscription. Newm.com slash crap ends.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Well, we really stumbled our way through that and we need everyone. Actually, we went on to the website because, you know, we checked it out and like you you enter into stuff and they like figure out a whole plan for you. It's actually really cool. And as I am trying to tone up a little bit, I'm going to use it and, you know, I'm going to get some results out of it, baby. I'm making some changes. Baby. No shrimp and grits for me, baby. Well, but see, that's the thing. You can't have shrimp and grits for me, baby! Well, but see, that's the thing. You can't have shrimp and grits.
Starting point is 00:31:27 You just, you know, you can't be like me in order shrimp and grits with the side of French fries and a starter salad with blue cheese, extra croutons, and lots of bread with butter. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and it's like, it actually is, like, they're all about, like, not being like a diet. There's like a lifestyle. So once you, like, you go on this program and then when you're done after, we'll close it like two or three weeks. But it says on the website, but once you're done, it's like, oh, this is my life.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yes, this is my life and my new life style. My new life. I saw I gained a British accent by using name. So next up, we go over to Jeremy and Andrews has. Yes. And he's like, babe, I'm going to make some lobster. Now here's what you do. You get lobster tail on a pan. And then you put some butter on it and then a little paprika here on the bottom with some water on the bottom of the pan. And I think I'm going to put it on the top of the oven like last time. Look, I know you're new to TV,
Starting point is 00:32:25 but please don't feel the need to do this for TV. You're not on the food network. Okay. This is not watching someone's like kind of hot husband cooking lobster tail. Yeah, it was. That being said, I was watching it. I was like salivating.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I was like, I want lobster tail. I want someone to make me lobster tail Me too. Who's also hot? Yeah, exactly. So dandruff is like oh that that is so sexy I'll never forget the first time I introduced him to my folks He was all over me my mom loved it. Let me tell you that he was an octopus around my dad I suddenly realized how this relationship works. She basically decided to marry this guy who she knew would piss off her mom
Starting point is 00:33:12 for the rest of her mom's living days, which will be probably for about 45 more years. She's never gonna die. Yeah, her mom will never die. And then when dandruff dies, so gonna happen and her mom will be the one with the gates. You think I'm gonna sit here playing a horn waiting for you, Missy? No. Hey, you're not getting in here until you are ready, okay? Fine, I'm gonna have anybody.
Starting point is 00:33:35 No, you're not going to hell, either, okay? You don't get to go anywhere. Per-got-tory. Where are your African hidesods now, huh? You better get a hair net on, Missy. You're gonna need it. But you're absolutely right what you're saying, because if you look at Dan Dra's life choices, her lifestyle choices, they're all to piss off her mom. Like she is with a guy who is already married or whatever,
Starting point is 00:34:02 which you know, moms like that. That's a big deal. Yeah. She is, has, you know, animal peltz all over her house. She's designed her house like Africa, which you know, that makes her mom crazy. Yes. Yeah, she's really going there with every single choice, trying to piss off her mom. And I like, yeah, and then it's like a it's her husband is is a creative type, you know, taking photos He's not he doesn't work in an office per se all the things that he hates. It's great. He's a poor He's a poor in the mind of you know her mom He's probably I don't he probably has some progressive views on things
Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah, he probably refuses to like exfoliate or something He's like damn it. That is the last straw. So we meet one of DeAndras or DeAndras, Stepson's Keaton, the famous Keaton that we're discussing. He's 21. He, we learned that he went to college in South Carolina, but just was not for him. And now he's here in Texas, he's going to start over and just try to figure things out for himself. Apparently he has an eating issue,
Starting point is 00:35:08 because they keep on saying to him, like, did you eat today? He's like, I had a bowl of cereal 12 hours ago. You need to eat. So, yeah, and then when you do see him eating, he's eating like, it's not comfortable to eat. He's like, I'm making my mouth move. Things are moving around in it, do not comfortable to eat. Yeah, he's like I'm making my mouth move Things are moving around in it do not like this feeling. Yeah, he may have a male eating disorder
Starting point is 00:35:30 We do not know but um, yeah, so his whole thing is that he's doing nothing with himself And he doesn't have a job so Deandra's like well, I can give you a job because I like to give I like to push all the people that I love You know like my stepchildren and my dogs and my employees. You know, they're all on the same level, if you know what I'm saying. Hey, you wanna know someone who's being pushed? Her name is Jackie, go ask her what that's like. We're Jackie's at the factory, like, ah, here she comes again.
Starting point is 00:35:57 She's coming over here to push me. I mean, the job that I worked 25 years to get and I still don't have. Yes, now this parenting style is, you know, I'm not sure about this because she's like, well, he tried college, but he didn't, it wasn't for him. And now, you know, then he went nowhere in a dead end job. So we said, you know, what, we're going to give you the chance to start all over. So this is not, how is that teaching anybody anything? I know.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Now, I wasn't the best kid with a ton of self, not dependence. What am I trying to say? Control. Discipline? Yes. Either a Soviet judge, but I don't think this is going to help. Because they said, so what were you doing today?
Starting point is 00:36:40 What did you do all day? And he's like, I was upstairs doing online applications. It's like I'm looking for a blockbuster to work at. Well, that's closed. Well, it's baby steps, you know? Baby steps. So the big push is to get him out in the real world, is to propose this idea that he'll go
Starting point is 00:37:02 and sell a lot of dandruff clothing on eBay because she needs more space in her closet. So they're like, we were thinking that maybe you could get, because I don't know really how to use eBay, but so you can get on eBay, I just made my account. And you can get on there, and you can auction off my clothing. Do you think you can do that, Keene? Will you do it? And then the music's like,
Starting point is 00:37:20 dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Everyone's looking like, Will Keene sells stuff on eBay. And he's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Everyone's looking like, will Keaton sell stuff on eBay? And he's like, yeah, that's fine. There's like a huge long pause. And he's still chewing his first bite of food, like slowly. And he's like, do you have any count already? She's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Okay. Great news, Ma. Keaton's gonna sell stuff on eBay for us. I know, put it in the monthly family newsletter. And the dad's like, okay, Keaton, you know, it's out of love, son, because we want to better yourself. So he's gonna be working out of the garage on eBay. Come on.
Starting point is 00:38:03 So then we go higher. So then we go over to Brandy's house, where Stephanie has shown up. It's time for the big Brandy's Stephanie confrontation where they're gonna finally air out all their grievances. So they can't even play the drama music too loudly because neither one of these bitches can speak. They broke the whisper.
Starting point is 00:38:21 It's like the big whisper war of 2017. I wrote down in my note the battle of the hush voices. The music's like, Hi, hi, thanks for coming over. Thanks for having me want to come in. I'll come in. Do you want some iced tea? Okay. And then it shows the montage of their beautiful friendship. And it's like Stephanie popping
Starting point is 00:39:00 a quirk in her eye. And then then putting bandanas on bowl statues, laughing at poop jokes. Oh, how far they've fallen. It's like beaches. Yeah, so they go outside to the back and they start talking and Brandy's like, well, I was really hurt. You know what father's day? What are you were yelling? I really hurt. And know, and then that day, I just couldn't get out of bed. So I was so depressed.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Okay. But it was Father's Day. So I had to go. She's like, well, I think we're a lot alike, but it's like you're disassociating with me because you're embarrassed. Now they don't cut to clips of them laughing about poop or brandy stripping in that club or whatever. They cut to a clip of Leanne yelling yelling her against that brick wall with that party
Starting point is 00:40:07 Where she's like your charity world is over like throws glass How is that brandy's fault? No, because no because the whole point was that Leanne goes you keep hanging out with her and your charity world Gonna go down the toilet. Oh, okay, so it's all think it's like what the hell? How's on her bottom? That makes a lot more sense. The editors just wanted to throw in a flashback of Leon losing her shit, which I respect. Yeah, me too. And she said, um, you said my marriage was like watching a slow car crash. Well, to be fair, I was talking about bumper cars, you know, because they're made for kids and they're not as violent, but they're just I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going Oh, and then she goes Stephanie reads it because she brings up the thing. She's like, you had this published in the media.
Starting point is 00:41:07 It not only hurt me, it hurt my husband. He didn't let me order appetizers for a whole year. It's definitely like, well, um, that was my block. So it's like, it wasn't rude. It was my block. It's my block. You can't get mad at blogs. So you're with saying like, um, well, listen, bitch, we're both on Bravo and they make us write these
Starting point is 00:41:28 blogs and I had to say how I felt and that's how I felt and that's what happened. And by the way, it was incidentally, when Stephanie was showing Stephanie the blog, it was kind of funny because you could see the Bravo blog on her phone. I was like, this is getting so meta right now. Yeah. It was my blog. And if you were mad, this was like an easy conversation to have.
Starting point is 00:41:47 You know, like maybe it's going to be my morning once I've had my second drink. And if you heard you, you could have talked to me a long time ago. I just don't get it. I was trying to be there for your manage, but it was like a difficult position to be in, you know, because you were whispering.
Starting point is 00:41:59 And then he was like mad. Remember when he lost that restaurant? It was like, it was like basically a car crash, but slow. Like you did it again. I'm sorry. But I mean, Stephanie's right. I think this could have been squash in one conversation. Like, it's so ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:42:16 It's so ridiculous. It's also very confusing because Brandy says, and also a news person told me that you confirmed that my kids were kicked out of their school. Well, we knew about that on the reunion last year. You know, I remember because member Andy was like, well, we hear that you've had some problems, not only in your marriage, but also with your family. She's like, yeah, my kids were kicked out of school because they, you know, it's a very Christian school
Starting point is 00:42:48 in Plano and they didn't really like my behavior on the show. And it was sad. Like you're really bringing up, you're bringing up pre-reunionship from last year. It's not gonna work. And well, then also she's like, then Brandy starts to choke up and she's like,
Starting point is 00:43:04 and then Carrie, I mean, she called you, ride and die. I'm like bitch, you have to relax, okay? Other people can call other people, people's ride or die as it's okay. If you still wanted to be Stephanie's ride or die, you should have responded to her phone call. Yeah, and stuff's like,
Starting point is 00:43:24 well, I called her my ride or die because it's like right or die. Like with you, it would have been right and die because you know, so the car crashes and I could die, you know, even though it's a slow car crash, I could still die in it. You know what I mean? So at this point, Brandy does not shed one tear, by the way, through this whole thing. And she has like a million bright when she says right or die, she goes, you said right or die. But she doesn't cry. when she says writer Dish, she goes, you said writer Dish!
Starting point is 00:43:45 But she doesn't cry, she just makes that like, squiddy face. And Stephanie's legit crying. Yeah, well the thing that's funny is that, you know, right now it's like, Brandy's talking about saying everything that Stephanie did wrong. So then finally Stephanie started saying,
Starting point is 00:43:59 it's like, I just, I kind of feel like, you know, you threw me away like a piece of trash and like, I felt like I was just so discarded, so quickly And they just cut to brandy and her eyes just like they turned these like evil slits of darkness Did you notice that like because when she when she gets upset she's squins and all you see is her mascara So it just looks like two black holes of evil. I'm not saying she's evil But her her look at that moment was pure evil. She does get a scary look when she's angry.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Yeah. And then she's like, I needed to pull away to see if you valued our friendship. And stuff. And he's like, I mean, I called you nine times. I mean, how many times have to call you before you see that I thought you are friendship. By the way, I also like that when Stephanie starts to cry she sounds like she's losing soul reception. I just say, well I have so many feelings. I'm just gonna take you.
Starting point is 00:44:53 And then so they decide to make up and they hug really hard and she goes, I snotted on your hair. It's like it's okay. I need to wash it anyways. It was a hard summer. I feel like you died I just like I kind of did inside the first time I couldn't order fried calamarik as my husband was so mad Well, we miss big things huge things big things. I have a pool in my living room now
Starting point is 00:45:18 She's like really? That's great. I had a miscarriage. It's like oh my god I actually thought this sequence, believe it or not, because we've seen people fight in the makeup. I actually thought this was a very genuine, truly emotional moment. I thought it was moving when they finally, I think actually you said Brandon didn't shed a tear. I actually think she did shed tears.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Because when she finally was like, I miss you or whatever, whatever was, at one point she just like, she just broke down into sobs. I thought that was like a very sincere moment. And I thought that was really nice when they hugged and you know, they were like, let's never fight again. I mean, hopefully it will, hopefully it will last. So then when she said that I had a miscarriage, I thought that was actually like really, really, really sad moment because like this, she went through something traumatic and she didn't have her best friend for it. I was like that was sad. I know, but she was the one who was ditching her friend. So like, oh my god, but I do, I mean, obviously, like that's incredibly painful.
Starting point is 00:46:14 But it probably explains a lot of why she was so upset too. Yeah, there probably was like, is probably that was probably really. Yeah, it probably affected. It's never really issue, okay? Is it a issue behind the show? Yeah. Right. God.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Well, actually, it's probably the issue behind the issue because it's definitely is like, how is Brian about it? And she's like, we don't really talk about it. It's like, oh, great. Glad to see things are going well in your marriage, still. I think we've seen her husband say like three words to her this entire show. Yeah. So I'm not surprised.
Starting point is 00:46:46 You don't talk about anything. So then we go over to Deandra's closet and she's showing keyed in all her clothes and she's like, this one cost three thousand. How much do you want to think this one cost? He's like $50. No, it's $18,000. But I can't really wear the game. It's like, we need to research this because I paid $3,000, $19,000, $57 million. He's like, for that. If I didn't eat anything today, I would have thrown up. He's like, I have spinach in the back of my tooth
Starting point is 00:47:22 and it's disgusting me. I need to take a sick day. He's like, I have spinach in the back of my tooth and it's disgusting me. I need to take a sick day. I had to have a tick-tax before. I am disgusted in myself. So he's like, how do you slide all these expensive dresses by my cheap ass dad? And she's like, sexy time. He's like awkward, you know, Keaton's like, I have wanted to throw up ever since I moved back here. This is not helping.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah. So then one of our favorite things is a scene of Leanne going to therapy, which I just love. I think Leanne and therapy is the best. I think Leanne is, you know, whenever people go to therapy on the show or on these shows, it's such bullshit. It's like, okay, they need something to do. They're not really whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:12 This is not bullshit because Leanne does therapy the way that we all do therapy, which is you go in, you tell your side of the story to make yourself look better, and then you take zero advice into what you want anyway. I mean, that what therapy is. Welcome to America. Yeah, exactly. So she comes in and she tells the therapist that she's concerned that brandy and staff have made up so quickly and she's basically, she's concerned because she thinks it's fake and she thinks she's gonna push it out again and be the outside and the crazy human of the group. Like, Leanne, don't worry, you already are. So don't worry about that. Yeah, and we'd love you for it. I love that the life coach loves her to have so much because Lee is like, I have so much to talk about. And she's like, I'd like that. If
Starting point is 00:48:51 there were no messes, the bounty man would be at work. Just be like an imprant on empty plastic. She's all excited to get this mess cleaned up. And Lee and it's like, well, there's a Halloween party. I found out on an email. That's like not weird at all. Well, it is, okay. Coach. And I don't get it. Do I have to go? Oh, no, no.
Starting point is 00:49:15 She goes, I'm going to go. Stephanie's inspired me to go with two face. Yeah. The not-nice side of me has allowed Stephanie to inspire my costume. I'm throwing the two face. And they're like, okay. I don't get me has allowed Stephanie to inspire my costume. I'm throwing this to face. And they're like, okay, I don't get it. You have to. And she goes, okay, well this is what two faces,
Starting point is 00:49:32 one side of their face is like, ah, I'm Stephanie, I'm an idiot, I'm dumb, I talk like a baby, I'm trying to ruin your life for no reason. I said, Jean tells you don't understand. And then the dark side is like, Ha, I'm stifling. I'm a jerk.
Starting point is 00:49:48 I hate everybody. I'm gonna be mean to Louang. It's like that's like the same thing. I don't get this. Okay, let me put it this way. Two faces like, one half is like, Ha, um, public transportation,
Starting point is 00:50:02 um, help in America, and Dallas. And the other half is like, Ha, I'm a trolley. Just getting your way and just slap me. Yeah, on public transportation, on help in America and Dallas. And the other half is like, ha, I'm a troll. I just getting your way to slam it. And the life coach is like sipping her coffee like, mm, that's not who you are. You know, the costume mixed with the attitude,
Starting point is 00:50:19 mixed with the anger, mixed with the alcohol and liangas. It's a recipe for destruction. A destruction Rita, if you will, selt it up. I want it extra salty frozen, not on the rocks. Like how can you say that's not who she is? Like literally if Leanne had ingredients listed on the back of her, it would be costume mixed with with attitude, mixed with anger, mixed with alcohol, mixed with sodium nitrate because she does preserve well. And Carnies. Carnie trauma. And a perfect aim with the dart. And amazing boss sets from being able to hit that thing with a hammer, make the thing go all the way up to the top. Ding!
Starting point is 00:51:09 Don't be a float napple in and buck it because you could get bit. Hahaha. Be- Hahaha. Don't go Bob and if you don't want to be bit. Hahaha. So she's like, um, you know what you need to do? You need to just walk away. This is a terrible idea.
Starting point is 00:51:21 She's like, but it was gonna be cute. And hateful kind of a way. Hahaha. But still cute. She's like, but it was gonna be cute and hateful kind of away. But still cute. She's like, no, it's gonna be terrifying. She's like, but cutely terrifying. Okay. She's not even pretending that she'll listen. I just like how in this entire episode, no one seems that be aware of what two faces. It's like a lot of Batman the literacy going on.
Starting point is 00:51:42 She's also kind of looking like Corella Deville, which is just making, yeah, just kind of making everyone else's point. Yeah, this is a Victor Victoria, but don't meet, she just can't tell. So, hey guys, I know you were wondering about this. Don't worry, there are still tons of bull statues in everybody's yard in Texas.
Starting point is 00:52:02 So the next shot, it's like bull statues. Yeah that's the next shot. It's like, bull statues. Yeah, we're over at DeAndre's house. She's dressing like Monica Lewinsky for the party. Although she didn't really look like Monica Lewinsky to me, she just sort of looked like Valerie Bernelli in France. She did, or like Mariazman. Yeah, probably Mariazman's a better call. I had to pause it just to look at her and be like,
Starting point is 00:52:25 who is that? Oh, so the husband guy is like, who are you? She's like, I'll give you a hint. Happy birthday, Mr. President, Wink. And he's like, Marilyn Monroe? No, Monica. No, it's actually Marilyn Monroe. You actually made the Marilyn Monroe reference.
Starting point is 00:52:43 She just said I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Or it depends on what the definition of it is or whatever is on what was it? Is is if yeah, depends on what the definition is. Is and he's like, where's the stain on your dress? And she's like, well, you know that if my mom saw a stain on my dress, she would be for your yes. Don't worry, I can take care of that. Yeah, which is why I'm bringing the jar of nannies in my purse.
Starting point is 00:53:12 So he puts on a gray, uh, gray wig and he just keeps trying to say the Bill Clinton line. He's like, I will not have sexual relationships with you. That's how old this is. No one even remembers the lines anymore. She's gonna be jumping out of a cake, looking like Valerie Bertinelli in France. So they go into the closet and she's like, now I do have an issue because look at this.
Starting point is 00:53:41 He's like, yeah, lots of clothing. No, the issue is that it's not gone. Keaton hasn't sold it on eBay yet And in my mind, I'm like okay a few things first of all you assigned it to him this morning second of all It takes like most eBay auctions take like a week Third of all that's assuming anyone wants to buy your your dress and fourth of all And I don't have a fourth of all that probably goes on a roll I felt very empowered I love an improvised list yeah
Starting point is 00:54:09 fourth of all your ebay world is over but the same orange dress that she pulled out was still there she's like what did he leave the second I left yes he did yeah you started talking about fucking his dad and he took a sick day yeah you can't blame him, you know? Yeah, exactly. So then we go over to like a little production facility in Dallas. Where Carrie and Mark have arrived to shoot on some videos for their website. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:54:37 And Carrie is still pissed. Yeah. She's like, Mark wants to do our online videos and it takes time. And you know what? You know what else takes time? Spending time with my daughter. videos and it takes time. And you know what, you know what else takes time? Spending time with my daughter. That's what takes time. A whole lot of pressure.
Starting point is 00:54:50 You think it's easy to pull down that kitchen aid from the top shelf without a maid there? It was hard. It's gonna take time. A whole lot of patience of time. My daughter almost started herself on fire, mixing cookies. To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, it to do it to do it to do it to do it right
Starting point is 00:55:07 now. Thank you Ronnie. I thought I was gonna get lost in the ether but you're almost dead. I'm going back to you. I'm going back to you. It almost did with my big mouth but then the song started playing in my head and I was like we're going back circle around. That's right. I'm putting that ear worm in everyone's like Alexa played George Harrison Sorry, everyone Um, I came up with an idea for a George Harrison party Okay, the Halloween theme is gonna be Got my mindset on you and we're just gonna put a bunch of dead Shandleers everywhere and you're just gonna say to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it right
Starting point is 00:55:44 Shandleers everywhere and you're just gonna say to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it right So they have to do these online videos for their business or whatever and she's hateful and he's like hating that she's hating him and not even trying to hide it She's like what are we supposed to do again Mark? He's like we talked about this come on and the director goes um now as a husband and wife It's gonna be great to see everybody to see how you're working together. And she's like, why are you glaring at me, Mark? Yeah, it's like, well, you don't wanna work with me these days. So, it's not a glare, it's more like sadness.
Starting point is 00:56:16 It's like you don't wanna come to work, you can't get dinner done right, can't pour a glass of wine. She's like, oh, I wanna raise my kid, God forbid. Yeah, it was basically watching them do this video, was like watching a local news channel where the two anchors hate each other because You know, he's you start talking about how they work together and she's like, yeah, we are always together always He's like, yes, it's great being with a woman. He thinks that it's acceptable for me to walk around in socks that say LL Because it's acceptable for me to walk around and socks that say LL. Because it's not cool, Jay. I feel like I made that joke last week. I'll probably make it every week, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:56:52 We're gonna, like, I mean, when is that any different? Like we're gonna make those sock jokes all week because that's my favorite thing I've ever heard on this show. Honey, tell them made, I don't like when she balls up to our our socks. And then he can't do anything about it. He just is like, ah, well, I guess I just have to go to work. What is the point of labeling things? Yeah. So they're just getting annoyed at each other and being passive and their video and the director is just smiling politely, wondering where her dreams went after she graduated from Tish. How did her life end up like this?
Starting point is 00:57:26 She's like, I'm sitting in front of a large screen TV with a Chromecast. Like, we don't even have an Apple TV in here. My life sucks. I should have studied harder. She's like, I once applied to Sundance. Mark was saying, well, you know, all these ladies go out and they get Botox and then their brows look funny, you know, because it gives them this arch.
Starting point is 00:57:51 And in some women, it makes them look angry. It's like, Kerry's like, Kerry. God. Kerry whose face is now turning into spy versus spy. Yes. She's like, well, I do tell some women who have Arby's face that they just need a brow fix, you know, or a husband transplant. And he's like, well, Botox is overused,
Starting point is 00:58:12 just like transplant jokes. And then they stamp the ladies like great, you really make everybody want to cut off their face. So good job, guys. Gonna sell a lot of lifts. So we then go to the big Halloween party. And Carrie Mark show up first, they're dressed. He's a trainer and she's a Tigress, but she's in that body painting situation. So she's basically naked. Yeah, Carrie just walks in naked. And Stephanie's like, oh my
Starting point is 00:58:42 god, it looks like you have a costume on. Are you naked? I'm not depressed. I didn't drink today. Oh, well, I did drink today. Right now I'm drinking. You're naked, aren't you? She's like, look at my nipples. Mark's like, eh. And then Brandy and Brian show up as Mr. Mrs. Skelliboner, which is like, oh, good. Now that they're not, not that Brandy and Stephanie aren't fighting anymore, it's like back to the really, really really stupid like basic jokes. Skeleton and Ryan had like weird skeleton cornrows spray painted into his head. It didn't really make sense. Yeah. I it's a lot of effort. You know normally when people come with skeletons, it's just like I got this at target. Yeah. But they actually have like
Starting point is 00:59:22 yeah, cornrows painted onto their head. That's it. It took some time. It was, yeah, I mean, it was definitely an elevated skeleton situation. So I understand the need to be more than just Mr. Misses skeleton. It was like to be there were scallop owners, you know, and camera in this pink princess. Yes, of course. And Liam's like, well, there's carries but. First thing I see is carries but and I see that from both of my faces because I'm too face to face Everyone's like, what?
Starting point is 00:59:51 What's that? Are you Krulla Deville? No. Are you an old movie? No. Are you a newspaper? No. Do you see red all over? What's black?
Starting point is 01:00:01 Because I'm not black and white and red all over. I was just gonna say that. I'll give you a hint. What's black and white and red all over? Newspaper? No! Two-faced! Are you a Picasso penguin? No! Steamboat, Willie? No! Brandy goes, what's two-faced? She has has two face, you know, is that a movie? No one gets it. Well, I was warned against this, but I couldn't resist. I'm Stephanie. And then carries on the other side of the room like, look, it's my nipples.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Everyone has nipples. Kid you milk me. out of the room like, what? It's my nipples. Look at my nipples. Everyone has nipples. Kid, you milk me. So then in one in one like section of the room, there's the girls are talking, including, basically brandy and Cameron.
Starting point is 01:00:52 And they're talking about pageants and what their talents would be, what Cameron's talent would be. They tell Cameron, she looks like she's in a beauty pageant because of her princess dress. And so Cameron says her talent would be going on a shopping spree and see who could go the fastest. And then Brandy is like, okay, well, maybe we'll just enroll you in a page that requires no talent. Cameron's like, I can't believe she said that.
Starting point is 01:01:17 She thinks I'm that dumb to not understand what she just said, honestly. understand what she just said, honestly. Tractor, that's what I do. I pretend that I'm dumb and then people fall for it. But then I'm really smart. So joke is on you, Brady. Okay, joke is on you. And she's like, well, what's your talent? I hear that she's good in a strip club
Starting point is 01:01:42 or making poopy jokes and having potty mouth. Or speaking really quietly, I wonder if that counts in Miss America's. I wonder if that counts as a talent. She's like, I wonder if she can even order a koka kolo in Spanish. Probably doesn't even know what a concital is. Or how about a PAPC?
Starting point is 01:02:11 Bern. That's your pay. Mark goes up to Leanne. He's like, uh, who are you? And she goes to face. And he's like, I don't get that. What's off. And she as well. You can save whatever you want to about Mark. But hey, sure knows his fashion.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Like, okay, okay, man. We got that. Did you see the Tiffany Hendra cameo appearance? Yes. She was like a sexy cop or some sort. It's wondering where her where her fake Johnny Resnick boyfriend was. Or kind of a portif. For me, like she didn't she didn't even get to say hardly anything.
Starting point is 01:02:54 She's like, hi y'all, I'm dressed as October. Sanctuary of style, y'all. I'm gonna do video about this in my closet later. So Travis was really good. Because someone showed me where the kitchen is, I think I'm gonna do video about this in my closet later. So Travis was someone show me where the kitchen is. I think I'm gonna do some lines. Looking for a new date. I'll be on the bathroom. I'll be on the floor of bathroom.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Or I'll be on the bathroom with the God damn it. I'll be on the floor in the bathroom. Looking for a new date. I dumb dumb. So Travis goes over to Stephanie and he's like, Leanne is telling people she's you because she's too faced. I'm going to throw a route. She's like, no, don't ignore her.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Just ignore her. Pretend she's Tiffany. Who? Exactly. Gosh, I wish we had a pool in this living room. We'd throw it right in there. So then it comes this weird calm fight that we saw in the sneak peeks a few weeks ago. They're like, we're housewives of Danish returns.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Like these ladies have this conversation all fight. It was so weird. And we are sitting there in her crazy outfit. But Stephanie's like, um, and Leigh Ann goes, well, you know what? I do have issues. I do still have issues. Because a lot of things you've done confuse me. Like, hmm, you're like, like your costume. Yeah. And she's like, if you think I'm a bad person, I just want you to tell me to tell me to my face. I'm like, I think that's what she's sort of doing right think I'm a bad person, I just want you to tell me to tell me to my face. I'm like, I think that's what she's sort of doing right now.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Leanne does it. Because I'm nice to you. Like I always come up and I say, how do you? I'm like, hello Leanne. She's like, well, yeah, to my face. Then you go behind my back. I mean, say what you want to my face. And she goes, well, I'm scared of you. And you know, I get really hard to talk to you because you're really, really, really scary. She's like, look at you right now. You're scary. I don't think you get much clearer than that. I think she's pretty much saying it to your face.
Starting point is 01:04:55 And she's like, watch your words. Because when you stand out words, they go spinning. They spin through families. Like a trolley that's out of control. You know, I feel about them drollies. And Brandy's like, guys, I think this should be a private conversation. And carries like, um, yeah, because like, uh, now I feel awkward. I'm like, now you feel awkward. You're walking around a party naked. This is what it took. Oh my goodness.
Starting point is 01:05:27 And then I love in the corner, Deandra and Cameron, basically the newbies are just talking to themselves and being like, those are the girls over there are ridiculous. They just like getting together and creating, create drama. That's like, what is wrong with them? Those stupid idiots.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Yeah, it's called being on a housewives show. Yeah, exactly. But then of course, yeah, then of course they walk right over and start gossiping with the rest of them. But Dandra goes, well, Leanne basically got used by Brandi like as a summer fling or whatever.
Starting point is 01:05:56 And I just think that she's testing Brandi right now to see what side she takes, which is, you know, she is a friend of Leanne's because she knows her very well. Oh yeah, that's right. Because Leanne, who doesn't even try to hide her intentions because she can't.
Starting point is 01:06:07 She's just like, she'll say whatever's on her mind. So she takes a brandy outside and she's like, well, I saw you in Stephanie hug. She's like, yeah, but we did, but you know, you know me, I'm not one to hold back. It's just a woman who refused to speak her mind for a year. Yeah, and then I was like, I listen to you cry, and it broke my fucking heart.
Starting point is 01:06:34 I don't want you to get hurt again, y'all. Meanwhile, the girls are inside gossiping. And Stephanie is like, yeah, Leanne apparently was telling everybody that Leanne is me because she's sufaced. But she said, I don't mind, I totally don't mind. I totally don't mind at all. And the ender was like, that is so rude. You don't do that when someone else is house.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Yeah, but it's okay. No, it's not because you live here. No, that's all right. No, it's not all right. It's like having a zebra pelts and somebody judging it. This is my house. Right. I wonder if Deandra is going to turn on Leanne because I forgot that they were like really close friends and Deandra was pretty vocal against Leanne during the scene. Yeah. Well, I think they just will fight it out. Yeah. That's probably how it was.
Starting point is 01:07:23 With that first scene scene we saw Dan Jordan Leanne together where they were having dinner with their husbands. They were giving each other some pretty harsh shit. I thought and they haven't really hung out. For how some by the way, you know, like we saw that first scene. But since then Leanne's just been hanging around like carrying brandy. Yeah. But I think we will because these these new girls, I think are going to come
Starting point is 01:07:44 out swinging in a couple of weeks. there both like okay we're mad now bring it on but you know what's great is that they are so entertaining i mean i think camera is just entertaining everything that comes out of her mouth is hilarious d'andra on her own is maybe not as entertaining but her mom is so amazing her relationship with her mom so what i like is that they bring they don't bring like combativeness necessarily but they bring something interesting to watch. Yeah. And Stephanie
Starting point is 01:08:10 is telling us, she's like, well, like at the end, it's obvious she's up to her old ways. I'm like, ding, ding, ding. This is just what you got in trouble for texting last time. Like the same quote, Stephanie. Yeah. Oh my God. And she tells Travis. Travis, don't kick her out. Let me fix it. Okay. Let me fix it. There's a pool in the living room.
Starting point is 01:08:32 I can't fix that. So let me at least fix the other big pool of leaky mess. Brandy. Okay. I'll fix her. And then Brandy's like, well, I saw I saw you throw Diggs Leann Brandy's like, well, I saw I saw you throw the X-Liam and she's like, yeah, but you felt like she was this too, right?
Starting point is 01:08:56 Like if this was like before your whisper fight, you would have like been into this costume. Wouldn't you? Like, why are you pretending you don't know what two faces will not send you that movie? Batman forever. Okay, it's supposed to be forever remember forever Tomilee Jones and Leanne can be a violent insecure mess but I like that she does just say what's on her mind because she says look I've really enjoyed being friends with you and I heard you met and made up and And you know, I think that's great, but I just worry, is it gonna be everyone against Leanne again? Do I need to worry?
Starting point is 01:09:29 Oh my God, wait a little lay it out there. Yeah, exactly. Brandy does maps her. She just looks at her like, I'm a skeleton. Skelet boner. Ha ha ha. Look, you can poop in my little pumpkin.
Starting point is 01:09:45 So, another episode in the can for Dallas, I'm really, really loving Dallas this season. I think it's really come so far. I think it's I was only like 15 minutes in and I was already tweeting last night that I feel like it's in like in a different league this this year. It's just it's some whatever's happening, whatever's happening behind the scenes in terms of whoever's producing it or just the chemistry of the cast,
Starting point is 01:10:10 it's like working for me right now. Yeah, me too. I'm loving this show. I feel like people are watching it too. It's not weird. I feel like season one, I feel like people weren't really watching it, but this season I feel like I'm seeing videos of it
Starting point is 01:10:23 on social media and like gifts and everything. It seems like people are like, it's, people are watching. So it's like really cool. Yeah. Good. I hope so because I love this show. Yeah, I hope there really is. And now, let's get over to some listener spotlights.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Say how we be? Yeah. listener spotlights is a segment that we do when we turn the podcast over to the listeners for about two minutes and they tell us about themselves if you want to be one of those lucky people it was lucky people you go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ins and support the podcast at the listener spotlight level all All the details are there. Today we have Mary Ahanyol. I hope I said that right. I probably put your name, but we'll see.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Okay, everyone ready? Here comes Mary. Hi, Ben and Ronnie. This is Mary Aiongo. I live in Indianapolis, Indiana. I am such a huge fan of you too. I found you first on TV Gasm and Housewives' Hode-Down. So I've been reading and following you for a long time.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Wow. I work from home, so I basically have bravo shows on in the background all day and then wait for you to put out a new podcast. I have two kids so whenever Ben makes fun of mom hair I always get a little nervous and think, wait is he talking about me and then realize of course he is I'm a Midwestern mom and the literal definition of mom hair. Sorry. Somehow the face led me to watch the very first episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, the first time it was on, and I have been hooked on the Housewives ever since. I drew the line at watching any other shows on Bravo, keeping up with all the different cities was enough, but I would still listen to your recaps of other shows, and you have sucked
Starting point is 01:12:02 me in to so many of them. I literally listened to the first two seasons of Southern Charm recaps before I finally gave in and watched them. I had to see if Thomas and Catherine were real. I feel like this season of OC is such a snooze, but hearing your Shannon and David makes it worth it and I just can't stop watching. I'm obsessed with Lewin and I can't wait for her interview with Andy. You guys make me laugh so hard and I get so excited every day when a new episode magically appears in my podcast. I don't have a super sweet heartwarming story about how listening to you got me through
Starting point is 01:12:34 a tough time, but you guys bring me so much happiness and joy I feel like we are friends. I'm so excited you're coming to the Midwest. I am coming to the Chicago show by myself. I've already found some people in the Facebook group who are going solo too. So I'm not worried about it, even with my mom hair. Love you guys. Oh, Mary, we love your mom hair.
Starting point is 01:12:55 We love it. We love you. That was a good one. And I also did miss pronounce your name. So I'm sorry about that. That was so sweet. Wow, I can't believe that you've been around since TV guys have been house up,
Starting point is 01:13:04 hold down. That's so amazing when there are these listeners who that. That was so sweet. Wow, I can't believe that you've been around since TV guys have been house I've put down. That's so amazing when there are these listeners who've been around for so long, and then you finally get to hear their voices. It's so, so cool. And you don't have to have a whole, you know, serious story behind why you listen, you know, just saying that it's just something that entertains you.
Starting point is 01:13:23 It's good enough, you know? So. Yeah, that was a really good one. It was good to hears you. It's good enough, you know? So. Yeah, that was a really good one. It was good to hear from you. And I'm like, is he talking about me? Of course he is. I'm a mom in the Midwest. So funny.
Starting point is 01:13:36 It is. Thank you for that, Mary. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Oh, it's fun. And that's the end of our Wednesday show. We made it through Wednesday. Tomorrow, we're back with our third and final real housewives of New York City reunion episode recap so that will be fabulous. You know next week, uh, below deck classic starts up. So so we'll I'm assuming that we'll just plug that in where New York is is vacating, right?
Starting point is 01:14:03 Yeah, and where, um, York is vacating, right? Yeah. And where when is that, Lewand interview? Sometime next week. I don't know. Find out. We'll know. We'll get. We'll get to get that one in there too. Obviously. Yeah. Absolutely. Um, very excited for all that. So you guys go to watch crap is calm. Go buy tickets to our show. Go to LA weekly and read a little right up there. That was super cool. And we'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks everybody. Bye. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and
Starting point is 01:14:37 support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo, you mentioned the podcast. Spreading the word really helps us grow, and it means the world to us. Also check us out on Instagram and at Twitter. On Instagram, we're at Watch Where Crapins. On Twitter, we're at What Crapins. You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Karam on both Instagram and Twitter, and I'm at B side blog on Instagram and Twitter.
Starting point is 01:15:08 Really, thank you guys so much. We really mean it. We appreciate the support. And even if you do none of those things, we're just happy you're listening. Thanks. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watercraft and add free on Amazon Music.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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