Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Rules of Engagement
Episode Date: November 1, 2017The Real Housewives of Dallas ends its season by celebrating a carnie engagement! Will everyone follow the rules? Will L22 show itself? Will anyone’s throat get slit? This week’s bonus is... a shot by shot breakdown of the new Vanderpump Rules trailer for season 6. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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We'll see you there I have cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramp Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Cindy Burgess Gerson was an amazing person Jason our gay son Andrews just saying okay
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch a crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch
I'm Ben Mantleker from bsublog.com and the Banderblender podcast and joining me as usual is
the wonderful glorious gentleman who will
never ever have a late ingredient for his skin care line.
It's Ronnie Karrum from www.mattrashtalktv.com and the Rose Prick's Bachelor podcast.
What's up Ronnie?
Well you know what I always say.
It's not that I'm mind beingbeaming 42, but I'm mind-looking 42. We are here to discuss the epic season finale
to an even more epic season two of Real Housewives of Dallas,
which just thoroughly entertaining every episode.
Can't wait for this to come back.
I mean, I'm hoping it comes back,
but I can't wait for it to come back. I mean, I'm hoping it comes back, but I can't wait for it to come back. And I hope that
Um, I hope that everyone when they come back, they are like just as entertaining. Yeah, this was a really fun season. So this is a very exciting day
because you know, we get to recap it, but it's a very sad day because it's like the last time, except for the month of, you know, reunions reunions were about to sit through. I know we have a lot of reunions ahead of ahead of ourselves we have a lot of next week
oh my god we have so many shows to recap let next.
Don't don't don't think about it because I don't like stressing so early about.
I know spill the milk later spill the milk.
Actually we only have one extra show to recap next week next week.
Now I think about it.
I think that unfortunately we may have to, I really wanted to cover the escape show, but I just don't know if we have the bandwidth
for it. Yeah, I think we'll just have to come in every week and say, candy!
Just do a little mama Joyce, and you can do some Riley's and you know, we'll be good.
We'll be good. You know, you're right. You-hmm. So, but this is for today right now,
speaking of Atlanta, I have to mention
that Real House of Dallas opened up
with some classy candy burrs.
Real House of Atlanta, you know, stock music. I was like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Don't don't don't don't don able to stop. It's like our Halloween joy
Yeah, it's you know, I think it's just we're just gonna be singing more and more and more
more more more
How do you like it? How do you like it?
Hot or hot just kidding. It's my favorite commercial that comes on Bravo
Okay, everybody. Let's get into this finale. Let's get into this finale.
Leon is on the high leather boots.
Yeah.
The high leather boots. Candy music is playing, which to me is a vote of confidence in this franchise.
And basically, Leon meets up with the Andra to go to Prash to go plan her engagement party.
Yeah, Prash and Chance.
It just goes to show you that Dallas is really committed
to their stupid names.
Well, I think Prash is actually the name of the designer or the party planner,
but I didn't realize that because it's because apparently it's also her business.
So it's called Prash.
Prash and Chance, the event coordinator.
And Leanne's like, literally me and Rich have been together almost eight years.
It's like that's not a literal thing, but I love the commitment to literally.
Yeah, because I actually is a little bit literally.
We've been together almost literally almost.
Yeah, because they're eight year anniversary has not happened yet.
So they are literally almost eight years.
It's actually probably the most accurate use of literally
that we've seen on this show at a long time. Well, what is the chance is a chance get
it chance the event coordinator. Oh, oh, crush your mouth. So either way, so they're going
to plan the engagement party and then like, well, there's going to be a theme and Deandra's
like there's a theme. There's a theme. Do you know this?
Is a theme hard and not good in the good morning?
Because it better be that.
It's the theme.
I don't mind being 72, but I don't want to look 72.
Because that is the thing I can get behind.
Is the theme that I'm not sure if I can handle
with the keys to this engagement party.
Do you lean?
Because I can get behind that too.
I understand that one.
And Pasha's like, it's a carnival theme.
D'Angers is like, um, we're thinking the Cirque de Soleil
and not the Iowa State Fair.
Am I right?
Okay.
Yeah.
And then goes, Dan to grow up with a silver spoon
in her mouth, but I grew up with a corn dog in mine.
Yeah, I will do some Cirque de Soleil.
Karen can get up here and put her wrinkles behind her head.
I'll tell you that much. Mark can she ping pong balls out of his butt. I know the boys who did it. I'm going to do a handstand. I need a corn dog from the floor.
So they'll be an edible cotton candy wall.
And you know, it's to be a Ferris wheel and you know, horseshoe.
Like this is our state fair after all.
And Andrew is like, I am always going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam.
I'm going to be here for Liam. I'm going to be here for Liam. I'm going to be here for Liam. I'm going to be here for Liam. I'm's to be a Ferris wheel and you know where she was like, this is our state fair after all.
And Dan was like, I am always going to be here for Liam because she's always had
my back at my wedding, the unity candle disappeared.
And she went to Jackie's purse and found it and dug it out and brought it back to
me. And my mother told me that is a true friend.
And she's like, speaking to your mom and your memories,
how come your mom didn't RSVP? And she's like, speaking to your mom and your memories,
how come your mom didn't our SVP?
And she's like, she has a date.
I was like, okay, you can't go from the story
of how your mom loves Lee Ann so much too.
She has a date.
Yeah.
And will not be jumping.
Yeah, exactly.
I was like, it's an engagement party
for the woman that's like your daughter's best friend.
I like it.
I appreciate you keeping yourself at a respectful distance.
Yeah, it's like, well, to come to your party.
The mom who hates you and come in, but the mom who hates me is, I've been seeing my mom
in two years.
We had a little scuff.
I'm like, a little scuff.
It's like, maybe that time I tried to bury my mom alive.
I was just kidding.
I was kidding, mom.
Just kidding, mom.
Just kidding.
It's all good times.
So then we go over to Stephanie's new home,
where the pool in the foyer has been drained.
And it's like, it's like the pool of Berk and Dreams.
So Travis is looking at it like,
well, we'll refill this pool with my tears.
Cause you really like that pool.
So then they go into this kitchen.
And Travis is leaning on the electric range
and he's like almost lights himself on fire
or whatever electric range can do.
Cause he's like turns it on with his belly
while his hands like sitting on the electric range.
And it's like,
heavy man on me, heavy man on me.
You know Margaret's at home in New Jersey
like wow, that's an oven that works. You know what that that's a what you know what that that's an
oven what I call that you know what I call that stove I call it a stove top like
it's it's not a stove bottom okay this is stove top it dominates okay that's
what it does is what I did did the joke for the gaze okay it's been joked classic
much classic much. He almost died on a stove classic ranch that is classic
wine. You know he needs a hamburger helper right now you know what yeah the
stove top stove top stuffing anyway so so but the good news is because I was just That is the classic one. You know, he needs a handbook of help right now. You know what, still top, still top, still topic.
Anyway, so, so, but the good news is,
because I was just about to be shady about that electric range again,
because I think I think a few episodes ago,
I was like, you spent $5 million on this house,
and you only have an electric range.
But, Steph did say that they're going to get rid of the island,
because it's too big, and then they do a wide shot of the kitchen.
And not only is the island huge, it's disgusting.
It's like this nasty faux, like, temp palace of Versailles, sort of like wavy wooden
rococo disaster.
And the entire kitchen is just like drab and it was hideous.
I'm like, why did you get the lights on?
Yeah, it's really dark. But this is Stephanie's feminism, you know, because she's like he may have got this house out of foreclosure for a bargain
But now this house is my bitch. I'm gonna do whatever I want. It's gonna take him another million and a half to redo
feminism
And he's like, oh
You're a fan what on this what what I was like, you know what? Shut the fuck up Travis, because you spent $5 million
behind your wife's back, or so we're supposed to believe.
I don't actually believe that.
But you bought it behind her back.
And now, like, she's like, okay, well, I'm gonna put,
I want to put some money into like making this place look good.
And you're like, oh, there she is spending money again.
You spent $5 million on a house you didn't need.
Well, but he did, he was just going with it.
He's like, okay, okay, do whatever you want to do whatever you want. money again, you spent five million dollars on a house you didn't need. Well, but he did. He was just going with it.
He's like, okay, okay, do whatever you want to do whatever you want.
I guess I need to go sell some blockers.
Yeah, but it's like that condescending like, oh, ladies, you know,
women just spending their money, just their trivial went on their trivial things.
That's what ladies do.
And I'm like, no, but you're the one who spent five million dollars on this
mansion that you didn't need it.
And she actually is right. Even though she was like, I'm adding value, but she actually is adding value. So
You know, she's gonna build a playground over the swamp land over the Indian burial swamp land that Heidi pointed out
Listen, you're building out a swamp. Okay
Listen, you presented an electric range to me and I get very heated.
Ha, pun intended.
This house was my bitch.
So, Leon Rich, Leon and Rich over at their house, she's like, are you excited about
Mama coming?
She's literally on the way in the car right now, literally in a car.
And he's like, no, she's not excited.
She's coming directly from the wind, lose her draw, revival.
She's Vicky Lawrence, you know, my mom's Vicky Lawrence.
My mom is literally Vicky Lawrence.
You excited?
We are literally Mama's family.
So Ding Dong, she's like, you get the door.
He's like, no.
He's like, I am an experienced SWAT team officer.
I have been in the darkest places of Dallas, and I will not open the door for your mother,
because she is too scared even for me.
We haven't found a way to communicate in a peaceful manner in over 20 years.
Last time was difficult.
I want to know what happened last time, because all she probably...
She probably...
All she probably...
...cops recalls.
Uh, Leanne probably threw a glass and got in mother's face and her mom was like you know that carry lady
She really is right your pretzels not like dog shit. She's like well, you're gonna breathe it mother
Gonna breathe it hard
Take it there just hands
So mom comes over and of course she's like hi
Like she's trying to do her best to just be like, hi, honey,
because she knows that Leanne has been saying what a miserable abuser she is.
She's like, I will not be that woman today, Leanne.
These are just hands, but they're your mother's hands.
Oh, mom, I've never been more proud than when you said that.
So she's like, I have a bag.
Hi, babies.
He's like, oh, hi, beautiful.
I guess I'll be taking that bag.
She's like, yes, yes, you will.
Emily ends not smiling.
And the mom's trying to smile.
And she's like, well, you smell like cats to the dog.
Emily ends like, what did that mean, by the way?
I think she said you smell my cats. Oh, I thought she was like, you smell like cats. And I was like, I love this relationship. I'm like, what did that mean? I think she said you smell my cats. Oh, I thought she
was like, you smell like cats. And I was like, I love this relationship. I'm obsessed. So gaslighting
the dog. Here, here kitty, kitty, here's always like, what? You can not miss with my children.
So they're showing the ring to this like oh,
mother look at my engagement ring and
that could have been a 9-11 in my garage.
I was like, what is happening to your garage?
Took me like a second to know he was talking
about a vehicle of some sort.
I'm like a 9-11 in your garage.
Yeah, can we not?
He's like, I would literally antitarrorism.
He's like, I kind of want to have a terrorist attack on my garage, but then I thought,
hmm, I guess I could get engaged to Leanne instead.
And his mom's like, well, now you just have to save up for a 9-11.
I was like, this conversation is super awkward.
Yeah.
I feel strange watching it.
And I feel like I'm going to get like, hate mail.
So, like, look, it's hard.
And she's like, well, those are two hearts together is one. Leanne. Wow. Just like Stacy Q want sang. I'm like, these
two are gonna rip each other's heads off. Please do it. Please do it. I was so excited
for a mom fight. Leanne's like, Freud would blow his brains out. I assume I had strangled him already.
So over at Brandy's house, she's making cake pops with her kids who are basically like,
here, right disaster.
She did know that Brandy was wearing a hoodie that said, but first, Jesus juice.
Is she selling those?
Because I will buy that.
She might be.
She might be. So anyway, so she might be she might be so anyway
So she's she's poking around with these undercooked cake pop cake pop things because they're like coming out like stringy
Like like string cheese. She's like they're done. I'm like as Mary Berry would say not a good bake on those
I think Brooklyn should be on the great
British the great British baking so so just be like that's disgusting
British the great British baking so so just be like that's disgusting with every snark of everyone's cakes and they'd be like oh what a charming
charming child that was that was only my hopes and dreams that you tossed on the
floor that's all right that's all right I'll just make another one I'm not the
eye can't handle so Brandy's, we're gonna make a magical party for Brinkley.
And Brinkley's like, I want Elf on the shelf to come to my party.
Brandy tells us that when Brinkley sees a little person,
she assumes that they're elves spying on her for Santa.
And she does.
Now to be fair, their dad does look like a Christmas self,
so I get it.
The dad's just sitting on different shelves.
He looks exactly like a Disney character. He sort of has like that with the nose and it's just the coloration, everything.
Just just right.
He looks just like a set like one of the seven dwarves.
I just love that Brandy is fine with sending her child out being the most
defensive little thing.
She's like, when is the last time you saw a little elf and she's like, um, last week?
Where? That kind of week of love. What was he doing? Goffing. Oh my god.
She's just like terrorizing short people.
Mommy, why is the elf on the shelf in the black lodge? Uh, it's speaking backwards,
Mommy. Elf on the shelf is speaking backwards. I'm not sure if you're gonna be watching this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this.
I'm not sure if you're watching
this. I'm not sure if you're watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this. doppelganger doppelganger kids. Brandy is always the one who's like, okay, my kids are playing in boxes.
Her like my kids are playing in the plastic bags
that the dry cleaning came in.
Hey kids, here's some fireworks.
You're like setting up the firework
companies in the house and spring stuff.
Yeah, there's these all over.
Silly string everywhere.
I was like, oh my goodness,
this is gonna be a panic attack.
Oh.
So Brian comes in and they talk about trying for a baby again.
And she's like, I spoke with the doctor and he said my fertility is on the decline.
But we can try it.
I'm only laughing because only brand you would have a scene with the kids are like playing with silly string.
And it's like, yeah, cake pox silly string string. Yay, confetti, my fertility's on the decline.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
and he's like, so I'll be jerking off in a cup
or having sex with you.
What's the other choice?
She's like, that's it.
Okay, great, great seeing you guys.
You get to it.
Yeah, so now we go back to Leanne with her mom
and they're opening up boxes
because it gets Leanne's mom ships and boxes
And I'm like, I got a box cutter. I'm like, oh my goodness. We just like
Not good on this path. Let's leave mine 11 alone people
But you got a love that they have a theme. She's like, hey mom look under your seat
I taped a box cutter to it. It's not enough
They're not knives just hands and my hands. I mean box cutters
Hands box cutters they call me land box cutter hands. Sequel. It's just box cutters.
So landsake my mom's house. I don't go there much, but it's like a shrine to me.
I mean, you think I was dead if you walked in there. There's crowns, there's sashes.
So she's like, I'm a job.
He's a job. We have to bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit
of a little bit of a little bit of
a little bit of a little bit of
a little bit of a little bit of
a little bit of a little bit of
a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a like, yes, and here's a sash. Sorry, it smells like my perfume. I don't know why.
You know what I love about the Miss Arizona apparel is that it takes me back very quickly to game of crowns series premiere when those two ladies Susan and Vanessa both wore two hideous jumpsuits
to Tucson to go with the biggest fight, biggest fight of the entire series.
And they fought at the baggage claim of like Tucson International Airport or whatever it was.
And I was like, this is the most amazing show that Bravo has ever put on.
And side note yesterday, because I'm because I was like moving and everything.
Their directives give me like a new DVR.
So I had to like write down what all my season passes were.
And like I was looking and the and went on the list was Game of Crowns upcoming episodes zero and I like nearly cried.
It never stops her and does it? Never. Never. It just never stops. I was abandoned by Game of Crowns.
So Leanne is telling us more of her abandonedment stuff. She's like, sometimes my mom would come from a birthday.
Sometimes she wouldn't, you know, it's her, you know,
sometimes she felt like a nut.
Sometimes she don't.
Apparently, Um and Joyce got nuts, but now it's done.
He knew.
There's just mom.
Wow.
This is why I wanted all these pictures,
so we could have an authentic conversation.
Now, do you feel like a nut or do you not, mother?
Isn't coconut nut, mother.
How do you think does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie pop mother?
Mother.
These melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Cause they're just hands.
Mom's like,
Nick or sad as fine.
She so love it.
Like, um, mom, I feel like we have a real surface relationship.
And I would like a better relationship.
And the mom's like, well, I would to you.
It's just, you know, that whole, don't talk about a mother
threatening to kill.
Don't say it.
Murder me in my sleep.
Don't say a mother.
I'm just, I'm a little scared.. Remember when you dragged me down to that gutter
after I was chasing after that little paper boat I made? I just never really got
over that. She's like some maybe she's like well last year Rich said I was sad
and I needed to get a therapist. So I did haven't listened to her yet. But I did
get an appointment for us. She gave me a great Halloween costume idea, that's for sure.
I was like, um, actually, no, I told you not to do that.
Yeah, I'll listen to her scene.
But I thought we could use one, you know, one day there together to get over all of our problems
that have stemmed since childhood and have controlled my brain forever.
And the mom's like, okay, but as long as we get to talk about how your perception and my perception might not be the same, she's
like, okay, mama, just say the truth. You just say the truth. Yeah, she's like,
okay, as long as I can just sort of say something without you trying to kill
me, that'd be great. That's all I want. All right, we won't take the box
cutters. She's like, okay, it's a deal. It's a deal.
God, I hope you have a good therapist.
Speaking of therapy, I think nothing could be more therapeutic than a good night's sleep. Am I right, Ronnie? Of course I'm right.
It is one thing that keeps me sane. You know, I don't know that I'm sane, but I'm not on medication at the moment I'm not in therapy because I know how to sleep people.
vacation at the moment. I'm not in therapy because I know how to sleep people.
That's right. Because I know with my Casper Mantris that I'm going to get myself a good night's sleep. Okay. Hard, hard not good morning. That's the truth of Casper Mantris. Okay.
Casper is a sleep brand that created that regionally comfortable mattress,
sold directly to consumers. And they had all their ingredients lined up and they had a proper launch.
Okay. Eliminating commission driven inflated prices.
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It was almost like DCMens was there herself, and has a sleep design and it's delivered in a small...
How'd they do that, size box?
In addition to the mattress, Casper also offers an adaptive pillow and soft, breathable sheets.
Casper makes a premium mattress and sells it online for a fraction of what it would cost in a store.
Their business works by continuously developing their mattress using feedback of nearly half a million customers. Um, um, um, Tom customers get bad mattresses.
Real customers have said the mattress is like sleeping
on a reo shouldn't like being created by the dinkling
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Buying the cat.
So they get everything like that.
Buying the Casper is as easy as all these ladies say,
I am, okay.
You order it online.
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It's like free shipping free returns. It's in the US, Canada and now the UK.
And considering we spend one third of our lives on our mattress, like especially me,
because Mark cannot keep his hands off of me, like seriously, it's nuts.
It's so important to truly sleep on a mattress before committing, okay?
That's why I named it.
It was a trial period, okay?
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gives you 100 nights to try it out. All right. Now, I'm gonna listen up. Okay, Mama therapist,
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And if you decide to use a different promo code,
I will split your throat.
Thank you, Casper.
That was, I think one of my favorite Casper spots
we've ever done. I'm just putting it out there
I just really enjoyed doing that one
Casper moments are some of our finest moments on this show
our finest bonding moments
Casper has you know what they've been with us for a while now and I really appreciate that I really really do
I do too Casper. We love you. We love you, Casper. Thank you, Casper. Thank you.
So also who we love besides Casper is we love Randy and we don't want to see her get hurt.
So we've decided to have a lunch where we can tell her how she's about to get hurt by being
friends with the crazy person. Yeah. So basically Stephanie and Carrie, they go to a restaurant called 31 and they sit down
and they're pretty much like, as soon as they sit down, they're already talking about Leanne
and how healthy Brande's relationship is with her and their whole plan is to confront Brande
and be like, why are you friends with Leanne?
You're crazy.
Yeah, Stephanie's like, the nanny comment, that was a wake up call for me because there was obvious intent to hurt and that's out of
Character for Brandy, but it sounds just like flian so Leanne must have made her do it, which is why we're all here
Okay, this meeting is going to begin so Brandy's like
Can we have three shots at Keela? I'm like you guys are at a nice restaurant to see this is your action at a nice restaurant for once
Kila I'm like you guys are at a nice restaurant to see this is your action a nice restaurant for once
Just like can we get it on a shatsky
The hello's on this show are always my favorite halos because they're always like oh hello pretty in pink whoa You are beautiful. Oh my god. You're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen you guys are like the prettiest
Okay, let's top some shit
Yeah, exactly so brain is like god, let me put on my squinty eyes.
So, she's like, I've already told you, Kerry, that I am very, very sorry for what I said
to you.
I was ashamed of myself and I would like to apologize again.
And here's like, I'm sorry.
Because it's obvious that you don't even, you don't even laugh like the nanny.
She's like, I can't even do it. Mr. Shafield.
It's like, no, that's not working. But look, I accept and I appreciate your apology,
but it's unclear because like, I've never seen that out of you. So like, were you possessed?
Was there a ghost inside of you? What happened? Did someone make you do it? Show me on this bear where Leanne made you do that.
Show me on the tequila shot where Leanne touched you with her soul. Hi, can I have my next tequila shot
with a worm? I met a Leanne in the bottom. Get it, everybody. Get it. So Stephanie is like, yeah, I
mean, basically that like mini comment, that was like, you was like chirping in and Brandy's like, no, it was me
I take full responsibility for it. They're like, hmm, how do we break her?
I was so proud of her when she did that. Yeah, that was me
Possibility because I thought, oh, this is gonna be so good. It's like yeah, I like when people just stay on sides, you know, I like when people
loyal on these shows. Or when they like, you know, they like act like adults and like,
no, well, you know, that came from me and it was from a dark side of me and that was all
me and there's nothing more to say for us. So they care is like, well, I apologize
for saying I would never be friends with you guys. That was all me too. Except for the
fact that basically like after you guys were
Tremending Cameron with that dildo on the boat like I went to the the dock and Cameron was crying and Leanne was all
dramatic and basically saying how you guys were acting away that would ruin her reputation and like the charity world and I I got caught up
But I couldn't help myself and I just said I could never be friends them and then lean smirked and I realized she got me. She got me
I'm like what did she get you at all? She wasn't trying to trap you
She was just like you know what they have to like calm down because they're being ridiculous and they're gonna make us look bad
That's all the game was saying and I love that they made at the end of a mystery season
He's like let me tell you what really happened that night
He's like, let me tell you what really happened that night. Duh, duh's embarrassing. And we have it's like yeah, like that ruin our reputations.
Yeah, you know, which is like in the charity world.
Charity world, which is not over, but it could be over.
My charity world is almost over.
It wasn't like, however, Leanne did just threaten
that I think chop someone's head off or something.
So she's not really willing to talk, but you know,
I can see. I know like when I saw it, I just thought it was like,
fully benign.
And again, sometimes I feel like I have to say,
this is not like because, you know, we've met Leanne
and she came to our Chicago show.
There's not like a bias in this.
It's just like looking at it.
It's like, she basically was just like, you know, like, yeah.
Back, like, they need to calm down. Like they, they're being ridiculous. It's gonna make our, she basically was just like, you know, like, yeah, back, like they need to calm down.
Like they, they're being ridiculous,
it's gonna make our, it's gonna really like start
impacting our reputation, you know?
There's nothing shady about that.
I don't even know what it's like about the technical things
they're saying, they're just like, look,
the three of us decided to be friends at the beginning
of the season and we are gonna finish that way.
And you are not playing defense brandy,
like you can't just bring everybody down
and then, you know, not blame somebody else.
Yeah. And you know, Carrie, Carrie is actually not owning her ship because the truth is she was mad at those girls at that point because she because they she felt they didn't have her back because
Brandy was Brandy who had, you know, accused Carrie of this whole like doctor thing her doctor
brand. Carrie is the brand is doctor killed someone in the operating room and Brandy came at
Carrie and Carrie felt attacked.
So Carrie was feeling like,
they might even friends with these people,
and so she was sensitive,
and then she was standing up for Cameron
because Carrie's friends with Cameron,
and Carrie came off the boat,
and was like, you know what,
I'm not sure if I could be friends with these girls, you know?
It was like, it was like,
it was like, nothing to do was like,
Leanne, like manipulating her into suddenly being,
like, saying something like this, and they'm like, ah, she got me.
I was like, come on.
And the funny thing about that, she's saying, oh, Liam is smirking.
And like, it's like, oh, she got me.
She got me.
And then we cut to Stephanie saying like, yeah, I just like, I don't know how like
Brandy could trust Leon.
I don't know if anyone can trust Leon.
And you see Carrie smirking exactly the way she said that Leon was smirking.
Yeah. So this is classic.
It's like the two girls manipulating the dumb one into going after the enemy by saying that
she's being manipulated by the enemy.
It's like so housewives.
I love it.
Yeah.
It's like you're being manipulated.
So yell at her.
So you see Brandy have that switch flip in her head where she's like, okay, I guess I
need to make a choice.
Okay, it's time to be honest.
Do do do do do do. Here's what really happened. She said she wanted us to be friends and
that is not the case. She would call and say, you're not my friend and Carrie doesn't
give two shits about me. Okay, okay, I'm sure that's true, but that's what you tell a good
friend when they're fighting with somebody else. Yes.
Yes.
And stuff.
Exactly.
That's everything.
That's manipulation.
I'm gonna build an island in her house to get back at her.
We know the thing.
The thing is that like,
like we know we have said that Brandi
is quite possibly manipulating this entire situation,
but it's also possible that Brandi's just so gullible.
People tell her something and she's like
Wait a second and then she just goes in, you know, and it's like Brandi
Maybe you should like start giving people more benefits to the doubt
She's got that Rina thing where they're like okay
That's true and they press the button on the back of her head and she will just go off and do it
You know and she'll commit to it, but then she can also be talked into the other way and then she's like, okay
I'll fight for that person.
And then she's yelled at everybody and it's kind of all her fault now.
Yeah, you know, that's true. That's true.
It's okay. I'm actually okay with that then.
So now you have to never do the office.
Yes. So now we're going over to the office.
Deandra shows up at the new offices for hard-knocked morning.
And I love that.
Andrew shows up, she has to ring the bell, the service bell.
I'm like, you are like a hear away
from taking over this company
and you still have to like,
you're like, you're not allowed to actually just walk back there.
And then she glances at the awkward picture of her and her mom
that's on the desk.
She's like, oh.
Well, this is gonna be the use, it's gonna be the late.
And I'm gonna get in trouble because Jack is a fuck with god damn it
Mother is gonna lose confidence in me
Said my mother look at this this place and then he's like well
We did move did you not get the memo? Were you being lazy again?
Trying to sell those gowns. Oh, I wish you had more initiative
Well, welcome to the office that door locks at 9 a.m
Which means you're here after 9 a.m. Hey, wait a minute.
Can you see the shock on my face?
No, you can't because I use my own products.
Now let's watch some old Susan powder videos to inspire us.
So so damper whips out some like dollar, you know, dollar target
aisle size samples of the stuff. She's like, well, is it a product mother?
She's like, give it over, hand it over, squirt, squirt.
And then she just, and we should mention that Deandra is very nervous because the missing
because it's supposed to be rolled out in two weeks, but the, but the, the L22
ingredient is delayed by four weeks.
Yes. And so she has to tell me this.
So D squirts a little on her hand and she just rubs it just looking at her with like a harsh look like mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
She goes.
Mm-hmm.
Well, it could be thicker.
I'm surprised the angel was like, thicker, you know, you're absolutely right.
You know what?
Let's roll this out in four weeks instead.
You're a great, you're a genius model.
You're a genius.
Four weeks it is.
That's what I told Jackie.
That's what I told Jackie.
And then two weeks and all this and a while, D.
But she doesn't. I like that comes and she'll just take the plane
But the mom's like hmm smells good. They have great free
She's like yes in Bergamo
Mm-hmm, and so we're right on schedule
launches in two weeks correct
She's just looking with her head down in her eyes like ready to go there
with her head down in her eyes, I'm like ready to go. And Dan just like, well, there was a snafu and he's like, what's your snafu or whatever
you're calling it?
Word, I don't understand.
The snafu is in your new words, snafu.
Is that something you get at a restaurant?
Is the snafu kuhl?
Is it kuhl to these kids?
So then basically, Dan, you have to her, like, well, you know, the
product, there's a product that we're missing. It's delayed. And it's like, well, what product
is it? Well, it's the ingredient that's missing is L22. And D just loses the name of the
product, the main ingredient that we're missing. The main ingredient, she's like, well, it
fell through the cracks from other, she like oh what is that new slang?
That new kids lying fallen through cracks you kids. I don't know where crack is you see the skin
No cracks here she goes that is a very expensive mistake that someone made
The Andrews eyes are just and the Andrew like they then they cut to Deandra and her eyes are just going up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down like oh oh oh oh oh oh
Do I escape now's my chance I can go to Mexico. I'm wearing my big giant glasses. Why aren't they working? Where are they working?
I do not understand Andrew
It was you know, it's some little drop of something. I don't understand and she's like well mother
It has to come from Europe, but there are no excuses.
The bottom line is someone made a mistake
and that someone is me and it won't happen again.
And you just, they're staring at her.
Yeah, and he looks extra scary
because there's some like very skinny vertical blinds
that are up somewhere and the light coming in,
it's just like this harsh diagonal shadows,
it's just like film noir,
like it's like this, some film noir realness.
It's just like hitting D. Like,'s like this some film noir realness. It's just like hitting D.
Like, oh, you didn't have the L22.
You're supposed to be my sat on.
It's just that little sliver of land on her face.
Like she's looking through the closet.
How many to get you?
Still rubbing her hand.
So not like the grapefruit.
But then she has this really weird turn.
And she's like, you know what?
Deandra or Matt call you by your Christian name failure.
You know what?
Failure failure.
I am going to be turning 77.
I'm a birthday and I'm tired.
I am tired.
I'm ready for you to take these keys.
She pulls out the keys.
One thing I like is you took responsibility.
Congratulations, you win some keys.
You turned that lemon into lemonade,
which is wonderful for people like drinking sugar
or drinks like your sale.
Fine. I just drink water.
Can't cry over spilt milk.
Why would you?
You could stop it up with a paper towel,
rub it into your face, and you'd have a nice, cheap facial.
I said that on the 700 Club.
People liked it and our stock went through the roof, Sandra.
Deandra, I am giving you this key.
I think you are, you are ready to take this key because I am tired.
I do not want this key.
But this key is for you.
She's like, mother, that key is I get to run the company.
Oh, hell no, this is just our storage locker.
You get this now.
That's actually the locker to the garage downstairs.
Okay, could you go in there and make sure you sweep it up for you, Leaf?
I think you're ready to do that.
But notice how she worded it because she's like, I'm ready for you to take these keys
and I'm ready to tell you they are yours. But you have to take that responsibility, which means
I'm ready to give these to you and I have the prop ready, but you have to take that responsibility, which means I'm ready to give these to you,
and I have the prop ready, but you're not getting them today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the only way to carry on the legacy that mother has built.
I love the idea that you're first to herself as mother, like that they're in third person
mother.
Who is going to sit in this office chair and tell people what to do with lemons if not for me
I need you to be able to say if you got lemon you better make some lemonade because that is the deep way
Now let's get some more of that honesty up in here, you know that brand of iced tea. It's called honest tea
That's clever. That's a lot more clever than L22. You know what I'm saying?
I was at their launch party and guess what? The product was there.
No fans. No fans.
So now let's go over to Carrie because this season really is making an effort.
So they're like, let's tie up every story loose and dandruff.
Yeah, by the way, yes, yes, I was just going to say that I was very mad that we still have not seen any camera at this point of the episode.
But go on. Oh, yeah, we didn't. Um, but also didn't really take like half an hour like we're taking.
Yeah, this is probably like five minutes at the show. But um,
Kerry is with Zuri and Zuri's like, I love you staying home all day.
Here's like, really? That's great. This is awesome. Are you drawing? What are you drawing? Do you want me to draw a triangle?
She's like, I'm going to draw my own.
Here he's like, well, so I chose to be a stay at home
home and it turns out that she's a mini mark.
So great.
Now I'm stuck with Mark for no money.
I feel awesome about this.
Now that's two pairs of feet.
I have to coordinate the left and right socks with.
So I love this end of the storyline. She's like staying at home sucks. to coordinate the left and right socks with.
So I love this end of the storyline. She's like staying at home sucks.
So I'm going to at least go get paid by that atleast.
So basically Mark comes in.
He's like happy on aversary, honey.
I got you a gift.
Is there any I picked it out for you, honey?
So they go, they get the gift that you know,
is like, get surprised.
So he's like, they, they give her basically an
Hermes wallet. He's like, well, we couldn't decide if you want to get you
a wallet or bag. So we thought, why not get you both. And so
carries like, oh my God, you got me $20,000 worth of accessories.
I love you.
Well, it's been seven long years. And I've got the seven year it should not be itchy.
Well, I'm not itchy.
So anymore because crabs have a cure.
So, which is surprising considering how much Mark goes to the year roundup.
I thought I'd be a cheer by that one.
But okay.
Shocker turns out that the crabs Mark got it roundup were cured by something called roundup.
What a shock.
At least I got a broken.
So that's great. So now Leanne and
her mom at the therapist. Now you know your therapist is serious when she shows up in a pink
skin tight spandex shirt that's like showing her shoulders. I was impressed at this therapist
to not show up in full hockey goalie, you know, forming
like pads and masks and like maybe even a stick because Leanne and her mom hashing things
out.
Good old corny traumas.
I would be very scared.
Well, maybe that's why she's like, okay, both of you stop looking at me and look at each
other.
Yeah, it's me.
It's each other.
Okay.
If you hit anybody, hit each other. Yeah, this isn't me. It's each other. Okay. If you hit anybody, hit each other.
So I was like, so motherly and, um, what, what are your, what are your feelings, Margaret,
on therapy? She's like, I have mixed feelings, which is her way of being like, I can't believe
I'm fucking your end on TV on double everything else. I would feel better about it if I was wearing
a miss Arizona shawl. I feel better about it if I was wearing a Miss Arizona shawl.
I would feel better about it if I could be wearing my white wig and my little floral dress.
I know people love that.
And the therapist is like, um, can I just point out, do you guys notice that there's no connection between you two?
You're like sitting there, you're staring at my dress, which I know is very pretty.
But, um, you need to talk to each other because we only practice healthy things in here.
Okay, anybody want a pretzel or a carrot
because they're healthy things?
Wanna practice?
Hey, Margaret's like, well, honestly,
I'm afraid to talk to a Leanne.
She never was happy for my success
when I released my hit song,
but not the lights went out in Georgia.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on
Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasive.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no
bald into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selina and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.
And Leanne's like, well doc, it's ground zero, we're standing at. an ad free on the Amazon music or wonder yet. or a broken bottle. Me and it's like, well, we can't have a relationship with the sealed.
The mom's like, but I don't want to bleed.
And she's like, okay, I won't hurt you, mother.
So the mom said, but I will remind you of the bathroom moments.
Oh my god.
What's the bad?
So sad.
I was like, what happened in the bathroom?
Yeah, what happened in the bathroom?
What happened in the bathroom?
It's like one of those like like those domestic dramas,
whereas like the bathroom, the bathroom,
and then it's like Dolores Claiborne, you know?
It's like finally we find out what happened in the bathroom.
And the mom just looks at her and she's like,
and here's what really happened.
It's like all these flashbacks at the end of the mystery season.
So the bathroom moments are that when the mom,
when Margaret would would drop Leanne off to be with the grandparents,
she would, they would cry, Leon would cry to her mom and the bathroom would be like,
don't leave me, don't leave me, and I cried, and I cried, and you didn't care.
And Margaret's like, you think I didn't care?
I went to the car and I cried, and I cried.
It's like, you cried too.
We both cried.
We were crying at the same time.
Um, and this was so sad because it was so sad
One of the scenes that's made me cry the most in any movie ever is that scene from Hope floats
Where a Santa Claus is living in Texas and she gets a check out of this one now
And then the kid is like don't go dad
And she's trying to chase the car and the dad's just driving off and she's just sobbing and screaming and chasing the dad
I picture that little girl, but with an apple in her mouth that she's just bobbed and some knives that she's about to, you
know, throw it aboard and it turns into lian and it makes me so sad. Oh, I know I know we're
we're like, you know, telling the story and like a lighthearted funny way, but it was actually very sad
and very moving and basically the mom was like, I was young, I was 19. I didn't know
what to do. I have a baby. I didn't even have a job. I didn't know what to do. And Leon's
like, I didn't know that anyone wanted me. And basically they both realized that they
do love each other. And that Leon was wanted. But the mom didn't couldn't do it.
Well, this was the times, too. I mean, this happened in my family. My sister, my mom's sister had a baby at the same time
my mom did, but my mom was married and like ready to do it.
But the sister wasn't.
And back then, it was, you don't even think,
or they weren't even allowed to think of abortion.
It was just like, you know, the grandparents will raise it.
Let's keep the baby and the family.
And me, Mom Papa will help and the mom will see.
And so sad because the mom was, you know, like I can't take care of you
right, but I'll give you to someone who can and so sad. I know it's like this, this like one
woman and I was once watching this thing, this woman's less and like she had a baby and
like with this guy named Jeffrey and but it was going to ruin her career. So she left
the baby off with her like sister and like the, the, the, the,
this girl, Lori always grew up with an aunt Celeste
and then Lori came to New York City
to be on a soap opera with aunt Celeste
and it turns out that Lori was actually
aunt Celeste's daughter and Jeffrey the guy
that she's someone can make out with his or dad.
I was like, I mean, I never cried as much
as when I watched Soapdash.
Uh, I mean, that girl had she not moved to New York
to be an actress.
She never would have met her mother and all she would have had for fun is adventures
and babysitting.
She never would have become a star.
I mean, like, you know, she just would have like next year now, she's just like a hooker
in Vegas, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I mean, you think your life is fixed once you make up with your mom and then you up and end up as a hooker and Vegas watching Nicholas, what's his face, kill himself with
fire, you know?
Well, you know, the sad thing is that she almost, she came down with some brain fever, but
luckily she was saved.
I'd never go without shoes.
My name is Elizabeth Shoe.
I never walk barefoot, mother.
Hugs.
Also, apologies for turning your family drama into just a prolonged joke about soap dish.
I'm sorry, Ronnie.
Well, I did launch into family drama during a housewife show,
which I think is a big enough kick in the balls to the family that this won't even matter.
Anything after that won't matter.
What will matter is that it's time for liens engagement party.
It's all black and white. It's like a fair but in England and it's a horse race and we're all
dressed in black and white and it's the second act of my fair lady.
And the biggest twist of all is that Cameron showed up not wearing pink and then she had the balls
to say wow this this party looks great but
there's not enough pink I was like Cameron that's your job and you're not wearing the pink.
But it's a black and white party you can't. Oh I didn't realize it was black and white party.
Yeah everyone's in black and white and she's like um this is fabulous and I'm blown away. Jump carnivals get cotton candy.
Smart carnivals get everything.
So Rich is the sweetest guy.
He's standing at the door.
So sweet.
This is Applebee's and he's like, take this buzzer and we,
we are ready for you to sit down at your black and white table.
It will buzz.
You can thought with my fiance when this buzzes.
Yeah, it's like numbers for basket. Robins on people lining up to tell off Leanne. So everyone shows up because
this is ostensibly like the season finale party. Everyone Brandy is there and I have to
say I thought Brandy looked great, but her mom was there too and her mom looked great.
So Brandy gives some, give some props to your mom for the great at this party.
So Brandi's like, I know that this is a party for my friend,
but in my head, all I can hear is what the girls said at lunch.
And then we see a clip of what the girls said at lunch.
I'm like, guys, it was five minutes ago, okay?
We're still here.
We're still with you.
She's like, I know that they only have my best interest at heart.
And then Tiffany's there like, I know that they only have my best interest at heart. And then Tiffany's
there like, do is being. Do is being. And we see her boyfriend, what's his name Keith
suburban before calling him? Oh, yeah, was he there? I didn't see him. Yes, he was in his
quilted pleather TJ Max jacket. Oh, good. Good. I'm so glad that Keith suburban is doing
well. I can't be the only one who was singing October the rest of the night.
His famous song from last season.
October.
So we got a little update on camera
which is that the sparkle food is on the way.
It's doing well and now court is eating his words.
And so basically that sparkle dog food is happening, which is hilarious because
she's getting totally spammed on Amazon, a terrible reviews. And someone wrote a review about
like that mentioned us, which was hilarious.
But it wasn't us, Cameron. It wasn't us, okay? Because we're husband gets pissed. He's responding
to all of those. He's like, you're an idiot. And this wasn't even a verified purchase
to go fuck yourself for whatever.
Well, also at the party was Dr. True, which reminds me that we didn't really get a follow-up to
hands flesh eating bacteria, which as far as we know is still there because we never got any
resolution on that front. But do we mention this on the podcast that when we hung out with Leanne
about two weeks ago, she was, Hey, look at this. And then she like shoves her phone in our
faces. And I was like, look at my flesh eating bacteria. We're like, Oh, yeah, please put that away.
We're like, look, look at it. Take it in. They cut it out of the show. This was my chance to teach
people. It's like, no one wants to learn about flesh eating bacteria on the housewife
So okay, there's other ways to teach but God bless this show that there's so much going on that there's just not enough time for flesh eating bacteria
And of course Leanne got of course. Oh, I have to say that I liked when Cameron was like oh my god
And I got my first store and then they cut to a dog store that spot her dog food
and the dogs are all gonna taste it and her dog is in this little pink sparkle outfit
and it goes ape shit on the other dogs and tries to bite everyone and she's like
Louie, Louie, I love that the dogs are fighting over the food.
So good. That's her big ending to the show. She's like, yeah, really happened when I got my store.
And then the dogs got fleshed in back bacteria also.
Yeah. And here's a picture of Cameron's dog.
Louis, he got it too.
So Karen Mark show up and they're like, well, we are here for rich because that's a that's a thing.
Like half the people they don't want to be there, but they keep saying, well,
we like rich. So we'll are here for rich because that's a thing. Like half the people, they don't want to be there, but they keep saying, well, we like rich. So we'll come here for rich. So so they show up. And I love that we riches so good. He's like, good to see you, Ding Dong.
And Mark's like, uh, nice suit. And he goes, yeah, it's pretty amazing what you could do
with the Sears card. I love. Mark is like, I cannot be part of this party anymore. We
are going to sit on this bench for the rest of the time.
We will be watching this from outside the court. We are out of bounds for this. Okay. Sears card.
So carries like, yay!
Okay, how many times do you think Leanne has threatened to kill?
Rich, which was funny. And she's like, um, honey, should we join the party?
He's like, I don't know. She's like, well, look, we're here because we're going to take the high road and we're better people and the
way that you're better people is you go to their engagement party and just give them dirty looks
from the slide counts. Okay? Bigger person than bigger person trained.
So then we got a flash of Heidi Dylan herself and Tiffany again. And then it was time for Toast.
So Deandra gives a Toast like,
I love this girl, she found me a Unity candle.
I don't even know what a Unity candle is.
I just know I was supposed to have one,
so I had a candle and Liam brought it.
I was like, great candle, Liam, that's great.
What's wonderful job.
And he was like, I like her more than you.
And I was like, great mother,
why don't you just give her the business?
Like, maybe I will.
And so I was like, okay, I'm just joking mother.
She's like, at the two late,
I already give it to Liam.
I'm like, okay mother, I'm just gonna cry right now
and like, go sell things on eBay.
I just want to give a little advice to this Mary Kepel.
Once you get married, you're gonna be invited,
so you're not gonna be able to control.
Do not say bad words in the house.
And if you ever do get any fights, it's Jackie's fault.
Okay, Jackie's fault.
So Lingann gets up for her toast
and she's kind of got an English accent for this,
which I guess she's been that little girl
who's been dreaming of marriage for a long time and so she's doing the whole princess thing
anything she's like life is filled with ups and dance I'm not only grateful to have you as friends. I'm also grateful for my hums.
Like, okay, Queen of England.
And she's just like, I'm just so happy that everyone here just loves me.
And they cut to carry me like, mmm, and the music gives that.
Tsh, which I love.
And Leon's like, this is like a cherry on top of a delicious Sunday
So speech over so Leanne takes Randy aside and she's like I am so glad you are here
You are the most forgiving and tender person and I'm really glad where we are and if there's ever anything I did to offend you
Please just tell me and don't fuck me over I'll slit your little throat
I have taken my heart and given it to you I
Give it to very few people because my heart's actually a time bomb so
blow up in your face the hard I gave you has a little
Sensor inside and when I put a coat into my
off phone, it blows up.
It's actually funny, Cam.
I can see everything you're doing.
I see it all.
They're just us.
I'm Brandy's like, I know she's kidding about slitting my throat, but what if she does?
Okay, okay.
Here we go.
Even though I feel like Brandy has made that joke many times,
like I'm gonna fucking kill you,
not fucking kill you, but like don't fuck me over.
Like she'll make jokes like that.
So, but you know, it's just that she's in like,
she's like especially primed to take that the wrong way
because she just had this conversation with Stephanie and Carrie.
It's not even that she took it the wrong way.
It's more that she is like, hmm, what is Leanne really saying?
Although to be fair, it's probably fair.
I think it's probably a fair assessment on Brandy's partly and probably will kill you if
you cross her.
Yeah, at some point, you know, you got to know your friends.
So Leanne is playing this really well because she's made the finale party, her engagement
party, so no one can yell at her, right?
Because it would just be mean. So she's going around and tying up all her lease and she's like I've really
like you Brandy don't make me murder you and then she goes over to her mom and she's like mother
I am so glad we had therapy because it is another brick in the foundation and I will lay you in
the foundation if you fuck with me again, mother.
Final threats of the season.
Exactly. So then the next day, Deandra decides to have a brunch for Leanne's engagement.
So it's like sort of like just in case we didn't fight enough the night before,
because we didn't, let's just, let's fight over this table now.
So she has this, she has brunch.
And then Leanne, Leanne goes over first and she's talking with
the Andrews.
She's like, I just can't believe that Mark and Carol were so standoff and shut my party.
I'm like, Leanne, you said that he gets a dick, so get the round up.
What do you expect him to do?
Like, give you a giant hug and like parade you around the party?
Come on.
She's like, I don't want any drama there and I don't want it at this brunch and I don't
want it on the drive to the next party or at the next party or the after party of the next
party or in the Uber line leaving the next party okay or at the drive through
at Waterburger so of course standards like I do not want
fighting in my house so I will keep it peaceful so all the ladies start uh
getting ready to go and Brandy and Stephanie are over it. One of their homes. Take it to Keela shots.
And Brandy's like, well, I talked to Leanne.
And she said she loved me.
But also that she'll slip my throat.
Who makes a joke about harming someone?
Okay, if this was like episode one of season one, okay.
But yeah, you're you're fully now at the end of your season
of the second season. You know this. You know, this was like episode one of season one. Okay, but yeah, you're you're fully now at the
end of your season of the second season. You know this. You know this. It's like watching
a commercial and being like, who gets mad that someone is upset that pace Paconis sauce
is made in New York City. It's like who had threatened to get a rope? It's like this
commercial has been on for years.
I don't know if I've seen that commercial to be honest, I would be eating the salsa. And they're like, is this from old El Paso or something? They're like, that's from New York City. New York City.
Get a rope.
I have not seen that at all.
Okay, well, the one person out there who got that your welcome.
Okay, well the one person out there who got that you're welcome. It's like saying who really believes that
Hershey's kisses are actually bells You know because they're Hershey guesses that do that. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So basically the girls are like yeah, she's a murderer. That's confront her. So Cameron is arriving. I guess at the party right at DeAndras and for whatever reason she arrives to a deep clarinet funk.
I'd never heard this, but I liked camera and clarinet music.
Oh, dumb girls get regular clarinet, smart girls get every clarinet.
You guys I'm still recovering from yesterday.
I mean, it was just so fun.
I ate gold sprinkles and I was like, wow, next dog food line. So all the other girls arrive and
carries like well I really don't want to be at this brunch but I like dandra so
I'm here for dandra because I respect her and I don't want to be disrespectful to her so
you know what the high road I'm on the high road right now it's awkward it's bumpy it's
swarvy it's high like it's really high the high road but here I am so all
the poor excuses that Kerry has to manufacture just to say instead of saying well
the producers are making me go to this so here I am
you know like they would just like well I didn't I didn't want to go to this but it
turns out Deander has this new spatula and I just want to check it out for myself
because I was thinking about getting it also. So, you know, here I am.
Hopefully she's got the L22 because I'm here for that.
That's no algae spatula.
So, this, so after Deandra is like, well,
there will be no fight in my house.
Hey, carry in Leanne.
I hope you guys can get along, right?
Can you guys get along?
Can you get along?
And of course, this starts the fight. Okay. So here we go. So Leanne says, Leanne's like, honestly,
Kerry, I thought you and Mark were staying off as yet the party last night. And Kerry's
like, um, yeah, because, you know, you said that he gets his day soaked at the roundup.
Remember?
And Leanne's like, well, I can tell you that when I got back from Mexico,
Rich was not happy either.
Okay. And I thought Rich was mad at her for misbehaving and starting all this trouble,
but no, he was mad about the small penis thing.
She's like, and I had to hear about it for the next 48 hours, his small penis.
Do you know how hard it is convincing a man that his penis is small?
And cares like, well, that's nice and everything, but I have had to deal with it with Mark for two years. And then they just cut to this montage of Leanne talking shit about Mark. He's like,
Hey, guess his dick. He's like a chop shop. He killed Bobcat. It was last night. They didn't even
belong to him. And I know the boys who did it
It's my favorite part. Yeah, so she's like well, I feel like you are dismissing my pain because it did last for two years
You're dismissing my two days because it wasn't two years. I'm like yeah, that's usually the way that I think that's pretty
That's that'll work
So we are just gonna try and get out of this by using therapy talk, but she can't remember it
She's like now listen carry in our relationship That's that'll work. That'll be how I'm gonna try and get out of this by using therapy talk, but she can't remember it.
She's like, now listen, Kerry, in our relationship,
there have been volcanoes.
Volcanoes hurt.
And Stephanie's like, I don't know what that means,
but it's not easy to be ridiculed.
So I'm just like, I don't think I've ever even had a chance
with you.
She's like, well, it's always awkward
because I'm afraid to die.
So I don't know what to do.
You could basically, Lian says that the reason why they ever
have these big fights is because Kerry's been saying
hurtful things.
So when Kerry says hurtful things, Lian reacts.
That's what Lian's whole thing is.
She's basically putting it all on to Kerry.
And that's when Steph is like, no,
but you shut up at my house,
dressed as like two-faced and everything.
And that's when Lian is like, well,
I never had a chance with you.
And curious like, Leanne, you must be tired from talking so much shit.
In Leanne's like, when I'm not with you, I don't think about any of that.
I only talk shit when I'm with you, but when I'm not with you, I do things like go to charities
and do hot air balloons.
I'm talking to Joan London.
Like, Leanne, are you just looking at a clar and commercial? Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
Right now I'm twirling in the field. Let me be.
So Brandi decides it now. It's the time. Brandi's timing is always a
little weird, but, but yeah, it's like, okay, it's time to go.
So she's like, I'm calling bullshit on you not talking about any of
that because you say honesty is important, but it's not
because you said you wanted me to be friends with these girls, but the truth is you didn't
want that for me.
You said you didn't want us to be friends.
And so I said, no, I didn't.
And then it becomes the she said she said she said she said she said she said because
Lian says, I didn't land like I wanted you to be friends with them.
If it was good for you, that's what I want.
She's like, no, you said you should never be friends with them.
And so Lance, like, I honestly don't remember saying that because it doesn't sound like me,
which of course it sounds exactly like Leanne, but I actually also believe Leanne.
And I believe that Randy believes that what she's saying is the truth too.
Because I think it's that sort of thing that's easily misinterpreted.
If she's saying, like, listen, like you should be friends with them, but they have to treat you right,
you know, and like right now, like
Stephanie is being a bitch or a carry's being a bitch or something like that, you know, like, like she does not have a few go to somebody and bitch about your friend and they're like supporting you by being like, yeah, they
were mean to you. They're supporting you. It's not fair to take that stuff and throw it in their face later. Yeah, exactly.
their face later. Yeah, exactly. You know, this is this is the housewife. So I won't so dwell too much. But Brandy is like, and then this is what really happened on the
dock. Do do do do. She's like, you said you were going to ruin their relationship.
Your reputation. Yeah, you were the one that went up. She goes, because now she's saying
she accuses Leanna manipulating the carry and Cameron situation on that dock. And she's
like, you
are the one that went up and said that we would ruin your reputations.
And it's like, so what?
I mean, I guess what Brandy's reacting to is that like, you're supposed to be my friend.
And so if you're sitting there on the doc saying that they're going to ruin our reputations,
that's like not a very nice thing to say about your friend.
And so then Leon's like, oh, never said that.
And he was like, she never said that.
That was a misquote.
Cause it like misquoted it just a little bit.
So it sounded different.
Because yeah, we see that we see the flashback to her.
Leon saying it, but you also can see it's like just like a throw a comment.
Like you're just like, yeah, no, she'll like like, to me, it's just so obvious.
It was like a big nothing, right?
And that like now Brandy has it on her head because it's been put in her head
that Leanne manipulated a whole diabolical situation
on this doc to get Carrie to side with Leanne
to only use it against Carrie.
Also getting mad about reputation talk is hilarious.
You've been slapping someone with the big dildo all day.
Like, come on you guys. And Karen, it's like, no, I was there. And that is not what was said.
That was not what was said. And Liam's like, can I call a witness to the stand? She's like,
I'm already up here. Like, I'm on the stand. Okay.
Who was get every stand?
Who was the bird that told you that because that's crazy.
I didn't know birds could talk like that.
Cheers like I was the bird and I'm going to say that I was the bird because I was like a slender,
you know, heron basically because I'm very skinny right now.
Then, uh, Lian's like, so you're saying that I said reputation blah blah blah.
And she's like, look, I'm not going to go like for a badam.
Like, I don't even want to talk about it for badam.
She's like, well, you better say for a badam because you're saying something for a badam.
For a badam.
I just wrote down for a badam fight.
Well, it's kind of silly that that carries like, well, I'm not going to talk about
verbatim when they are talking about semantics right now.
They are talking about semantics and curious saying, well, this was, this,
I was manipulated into saying this thing
because Leanne said that.
Well, if you're going to say that, then you are being verbatim essentially.
You know, it's like, I don't know.
Obviously, it was just all so stupid.
But hilarious.
Brandi is ready to go.
And she's prepared.
So even if it's going off badly because the start of the fight didn't live up to what she had planned.
She's still gonna go on her monologue.
So she's like, you know what else?
You faster on negativity and you step and step in
on people's weak moments and then you use them against them.
But she's like, but I don't, I don't.
Bathroom moment, bathroom moment.
Yeah.
That brandy's like, you got off on the fact
that we weren't friends.
And she's like, flush the toilet, flush the toilet, mother.
Lanzler. Yeah. She's like, I wanted you and Stephanie to be friends. And they show like a montage
of like the whole season of, of Leanne kind of cock blocking. We're basically Stephanie tries to
talk to Brandy at the season premiere. And Leanne's like, she don't want to talk to
you right now.
Call again later.
Beep.
Sorry.
But again, but I don't know.
Like, I mean, that is, that is pretty damning, but I also feel like again, it's sort of what
you were saying that like Brandy was probably bitching about Stephanie to Leanne and firing
Leanne up and firing Leanne up.
And then Leanne's like, well, I'm going to protect you.
You know, like she's going to come through this part and protect you.
You know, the clip that they showed was Leanne being honest, you know, which is why I like Leanne
because no matter what everyone likes her, she's just honest.
You know, she's wrong.
She's honest, whatever.
You could tell her anything.
She'll talk it through, you know, and she's like, okay, they showed the Halloween thing and Brandy making up or whatever. And she's like, well,
here's my worry that you guys are going to make up. And then you're just going to leave me out
the cold again, you know, when they showed that. And it's true, you know, and at least she said it,
and they did end up doing it. Yeah. And I don't think that again, I don't think that Brandy's
lying. I don't actually don't think that any of them
are lying because I think they all believe it to be true.
But I think there's very obvious nuances to this
that they're not willing to explore.
Like, oh, when I said this, this is how I felt.
Oh, I see.
So when I said this, I thought it was just this,
but I didn't realize it was affecting you like this.
And all I was saying was it's so that they're just requires a few clarifications
But none of them are willing to make it so then all of a sudden brandy is screaming and she's like I swear to God
He said you said you didn't want me to be friends with Stephanie and they was like oh swear on my grandma's Bible
Which is at home? So I'm willing to go and drive and get it. Okay. Can you wait down?
I'm it's I gotta be charging my easy pass that okay
I'm gonna take my mind to mail it to me because it's mine. It is mine. I deserve it
I like that she includes her logistics and her swearing on the Bible
So then let's see here brand new no
Oh, oh, so I suppose I'm just like your grandmother and I'm lying to you. And you know what, you're delusional and to your liar and to your bitch and you're gonna
kill her and you're gonna kill her and you're gonna slip my throat if we don't agree
with you.
And then she storms that.
She's like, thank you for having me robot, Dandra.
Well, what I loved about it was that when my brain is like, you're a fucking liar and
a fucking bitch and you're gonna kill her, you're gonna kill Marie.
And now you're gonna slip my throat.
I was like, oh wow, I like how Marie sort of slid it right in there. It was like justice for Marie
Justice for Marie got on Twitter immediately like I'm back in her up. That was true. Remember everybody. I have the test
Marie was probably like in a bar somewhere in the middle of Montana with a new blonde Bob wig
You know witness protection and then like Marie though like who? And they've put like a picture of her face.
She was like totally afraid.
They're gonna put a picture of her face.
And then like people in the bar,
they're like, wait a second, that's you.
Oh my God, I'm going back on the road.
I thought all the safe.
Oh my God.
So the three-giggle girls leave.
And inside, Leanne's like,
I've never done nothing to no one,
you know, like overdoing her victim thing a little bit.
So then outside Deandra comes out and it's like,
my favorite thing though before Deandra comes out though,
was back in there when Leon's like,
oh, that carry turns to Leanne.
And he was like, you know, you can't threaten to kill people.
And then Leon goes, oh, we're back to that.
And then the best thing is then on top of that, Cameron goes, you know,
she's not going to kill you.
You know that.
I mean, right?
Yeah, it was the longest pause.
Gary's like, do I answer the seriously?
She's like, I mean, right?
Karen just turns and walks off.
So funny. And we have like, I mean, right? Karen just turns and walks off. So funny.
And we have like, that is heartbreaking.
Cam's like, you are not a liar.
OK.
I have never heard you lie in the entire time
that I've met you.
And she had, I had to quote that because I
liked it that to her this whole thing
has just been beating people.
Yeah.
She's just still being like, hi, you look so pretty.
I love your dress.
I'm Cameron Westcott.
Yeah, we've met about 10 times now.
We are still meeting.
Have I touched about the golden spark sprinkles I had yesterday?
They're so good.
Reminds me of the food from Cabo San Lucas.
Like, it was so good.
I just kept eating it
when I got back here.
So the girls are outside and Dan's where comes out
to say, buy or whatever and she's like,
look, I cannot say that I know what you guys are talking
about in there because I was not there.
So you know what, maybe it would help if you guys could
write it down, could you write this stuff down?
So we could put it into evidence.
I still have my gamble.
Okay?
And Kerry's like, girl, I'm not writing things down.
Are you crazy?
What are we doing at journal?
And she's like, oh, well, I do write things down.
Actually, we're doing all the time.
It's the best way to keep track of grudges.
That's called mother.
We had never talked about the fact that Deandra's
wearing some crazy, like, I don't know what,
like, Jiquita Banana sort of outfit and has like a huge bow on it that looks like a plane
propeller. It's madness, probably cost like $35,000.
Well, they're all trying to end as the victim, which is hilarious, because Lee is inside sobbing.
And Cameron wasn't being a victim. She's just trying to do that thing where she's pretending she understands the fights, but she's just saying really shallow, needless things like sometimes like you have to understand that there's only so much you can do to fix the situation.
Okay, great advice, Cameron. Thanks.
Sometimes what I like to do is give them the power,
but I have the power.
And then let's see, Brandy is pretending to cry.
And she's like, I just, at the end of the day,
like if she wants to slit my throat
because I was honest, then just slit my throat.
Like I don't wanna be a nasty, negative person
who turns on people.
Like, what did you just do?
What have you been doing all season long?
You turned on Stephanie, you turned on Carrie,
you turned on Leanne.
Yeah.
It's literally every single person.
Like, no one ever stands our own storyline.
Stephanie goes, you can't just take other people's problems
and make them your own.
Honey, you just moved into a house that caught foreclosed on. You're literally living inside
someone else's problem. You truly, truly are. So much problem with an electric range.
So I have to give props to this show because even with their low budget and having to use
music from other shows and kind of patch stuff together, me and Ben have been having a really musical fun
week. And the end of the show of Dallas, the very last montage where they're putting up
their pictures and what they're doing right now and stuff, they timed everything to this
really dramatic music. And they timed all of their speaking lines to the music and I could not stop listening to it last night.
So we're going to do to thank Real Housewives of Dallas. We're going to give Real Housewives of Dallas a musical send-off ending.
The one that it that it finally truly deserves.
Turn those lemons into lemonade.
I'm sorry mom, it's my fault. Hark, they good night. I'm sorry mom. I don't want to look sympathy to you.
It's my fault.
It's heck right through.
We will not use that word in my house.
That's the point you're in fight with your friends.
Period.
Every girl has skeletons in her closet.
Eventually, one of them will be mine.
I've been walking in circles all day long
because of these left, left socks carry.
But I got a Birkin.
I did not do anything that she said I did.
You have to understand there's only sokin! I did not do anything that she said I did!
You have to understand there's only so much you can do to think the situation.
Dum lamp shades get put on lamps, guacamole, sparkle food, oh smart lamp shades get everything. You can't take on other people's problems and meet them your own.
Sephilim and Brandi.
Whoop up.
Bart.
Boop.
I'm gonna draw.
I don't wanna be somebody that's negative and nasty and below the belt.
GOODDAY!
Hey, I'm a zip code rapper!
The carnival has come into town!
I wanted to show her what real friends behave like!
The end!
Flashing bacteria!
Why, mate?
Gonna slit that little throat, mimic her.
And I know the poison's done there.
Just hang, co-eat me.
I feel like I've torn between my two worlds.
It's like they're never ending battle.
So dramatic.
Why, I love you, real housewives of Dallas.
Well, guess what?
We don't have to end things here because you know the other thing that we love here on this
podcast.
We love ourselves some of our listeners.
So let's do some listener spotlight.
Spotlight.
Okay, so listener spotlight is essentially when we turn the podcast over to our listeners
for two minutes.
If you go to patreon.com slash watch for crap ins, you can, if you support the podcast
at the listener spotlight level or above, then you have an opportunity to record two minutes
of stuff and we'll play it on the air.
This week we have Danielle Rally, who we haven't heard from since March, and here's what
she has to say.
Hey guys, it's Danielle Rally.
Rally, I'm looking forward to real housewives of Atlanta coming back for that.
So thank you for letting me do a listener's ballet again. I love being able to do this.
My favorite bravo show of all time is really hard for me because I do have so many favorites,
but I did have this as old school so look out. Blow out, which on at the Anten. I know it's so lame, but I absolutely
love that show. It was ridiculous how much I watched it. It was like when I first got
cable and I could watch whatever I wanted to watch when my parents watched or whatever.
But actually, he was also on the show but not till later she or genius was like
my jam and I don't know why but one of the best things that ever came out of
that was Tabitha obviously and her catchphrase you know big jam oh yeah
fuck I'm great just ask me when my, I still use that to this day, which is lame, but I don't know.
I'm not lame at all, ma'am.
Anyways, that's probably my favorite show
and also currently Southern Term is my favorite show.
But anyways, I just wanna say thank you
and I also wanted to give a quick shout out
to the Facebook group.
I recently posted on there about
Leanne's Necrotizing, Fashiatus, whatever.
I also had that this summer,
and mine was a lot worse than hers.
I had like 15 surgeries,
and I was in the hospital for 25 days.
Oh my God.
And rehab for 40 days,
and I'm just barely like getting back into my life.
Three months of my life was gone because of that.
And I just want to say thank you to everyone
in the Facebook group who was so super awesome and nice to me.
So anyways, as always, love you guys, love the show.
And I appreciate this group of people
that you guys have put together.
Thanks so much.
Wow, Danielle, well, we're glad you're on the mend.
Leigh-end did tell us that hers was really bad,
and that the show just did not even, like, get into it,
but it was really, really bad.
I mean, I don't think that any time anyone has that,
it's ever, I don't think it's ever like a light thing.
But she said she had, I think she had like,
well, I guess what they said about on the show, she had like an IV for six
months, but man, glad you're okay. So are you had to lose three
months of your summer? And I'm glad you're alive. Yeah, no
kidding. And I agree with you about all the people who tend to
come together for this show. We love it. And having those
Facebook groups where people can just say whatever they want
and have it not appear on their wall, I think is really helpful because it leads to a lot more commenting. And I have
been reading that thing all weekend through all of the bravo drama that we've touched upon.
I've loved going in there and reading all the hilarious comments. So thank you everybody
who's part of that. Well, thanks to everyone who is in that group or any of the groups
or on the Reddit page, you know, there's all these communities out there on various different Facebook groups and pages,
etc. So all that support that we get from you guys really means a lot to us. And we're like,
uh, we're just like super stoked for all you people. We love you guys. We love you. We get to
us. We love you. Real Housewives of Dallas. Goodbye Dallas. We'll see you for the you next week.
Yeah, have a hard night, but a good morning, okay?
Bye everyone.
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