Watch What Crappens - RHOD: The Mother of All Premieres
Episode Date: August 17, 2018"Real Housewives of Dallas" is back, and the storms are already brewin'. LeeAnne is trying to tame her amygdala, Brandi is trying to tame her kids, and D'Andra is trying to tame Dee. Don't th...ink any of those things are going to happen anytime soon. Come join us as we recap this hilarious show! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Christy Wowardy-Dowardy!
Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger!
Just saying, okay.
Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!
Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Back in the Slayer Taylor.
Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson.
Susie, going to the Tobin.
Hava, Nagila Weber.
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant,
the Grant Master.
Give them whole,
Miss Noel,
The incredible, edible Matthews sisters,
And Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f-
Watch what crap bins, watch what crap bins,
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins,
What crap bins, what crap bins, Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Hey everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we
love to watch.
I'm Ben Mantleker, and joining me as usual is my feisty and lovable co-host, Ronnie
Karam, who can also be found on Roseprix, Bachelor Rose podcast.
What's up Ronnie?
Poppin!
How's it going?
Oh, I'm so excited, you know, I love a Texas show girl.
It's been a long time since I've had a show with some statues of bulls all over
a town.
I know, this is very exciting.
Our second podcast of the day, Wednesday night on Bravo was just Monumentos.
You had the season finale of New York, one of our favorite, if not our favorite, Bravo
shows, and the season premiere of Dallas, another one of our favorite, if not our favorite, Bravo shows, and the season premiere of Dallas,
another one of our favorites.
So it's kind of like the Ben and Ronny night,
because I'm from New York, you're from Texas,
you know, how perfect.
Yeah, it's like the perfect meeting of the geography.
So we are doing an extra episode this week for you guys
because we are gonna still do shots tomorrow. Next week are schedules weird, because we are going to still do shots tomorrow.
Next week are schedules weird, because we're going to be
traveling.
But we did finally decide what we're going to do.
So Thursday night in West Palm Beach, we're doing the first
reunion episode of Real Housewives of New York.
It's going to be amazing.
Get your asses to West Palm.
We also have a special little somebody's going to
combine, say, hi, we're not going to tell you who.
Yeah.
Probably guess, but whatever.
Come. And then we're going gonna go to Atlanta for two shows
and one night, the early show is going to be Real Housewives
of Dallas, ReK, up.
Yeah, the last episode.
Even if, even for people who don't watch Dallas,
those live shows, we've done them as live shows before,
they're really, really fun live shows,
do all the characters are super fun.
And then our late show that night is going to be a recap
of the first episode ever of Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So we're going to get everybody's original faces,
straight turning away, Neemie at a party.
Part of the things.
Yes, it is.
We wanted to do an iconic episode for Atlanta in Atlanta.
And what better episode to choose than the rich?
Why not go back to where it all started?
And on top of it, it's going to be your birthday.
So it's going to be Ronnie's birthday night.
We're going to be celebrating Ronnie, all things rondel.
And then on top of that, we're going to be celebrating
all things Atlanta in Atlanta.
So the Dallas show, the early show, that's already sold out.
But there are still tickets available for the Dallas show, the early show, that's already sold out, but there are still tickets available for the late show where we'll be talking about the Atlanta series premiere.
So it's going to be a special night. It's going to be a fun night, and it's going to be a drunk a night, and I think everyone should come. So go to watchacrapans.com to get those tickets.
And of course, goes without saying, also get tickets for Thursday in Palm Beach, because that's going to be amazing and special to very
blessed to be having these shows at this time in history of Bravo.
Yeah, we are loving these shows.
We're going to be in Denver in September.
So just keep keep your loins girded for that show link, which will be coming soon.
Okay.
Now for now also your Garshti shirts go get it.
Watch what crap and stuff.
Comment well.
Come on guys.
Garsht. It's available to the end of the month gosh you know the
the the board game of the year
was announced like two or three weeks ago and the designer of one of the board
games his name is wolf gang gosh
not even a man
you see
it was totally fate i made a board game
gosh It was totally fate. I made a poor game. Gar-shh.
Okay, so real housewives of Dallas came back.
I was a little bit worried because on my DVR or what, my YouTube TV that I watched, I turned it on and the shot that they use,
where you're picking your shows where it's like, here's what's in your line.
I feel like real housewives of New York.
It's a picture of Durinda drunk real housewives of Dallas. I was hoping it would be Leanne with like a broken piece of glass threatening to murder somebody
But it was a picture of Brandy holding a newborn and I was like, okay, this is not a good sign. Yeah, I was concerned
I mean, I would have been concerned as well. I mean, I was concerned
I was concerned when the when the episode description was Brandy adopts a baby boy. I was like,
how about the description says, Leanne's the neck of like a donkey or something. Like that's
what I'm tuning in for. Yeah, I'm not here to watch Whisper Ginger, you know, Whisper to
baby Ginger. Also people who are ginger, you don't get offended. My mom's the ginger,
and I'm a ginger. I was a ginger, so whatever. And one of my favorite ingredients is ginger. Also people who are gingeries don't get offended. My mom's the ginger and I'm a ginger.
I was a ginger's a baby, so whatever.
And one of my favorite ingredients is ginger.
So, oh my god, also cookies, ginger snap.
Whoa, what an attitude.
I also just want to say in general,
if you're not watching Real Housewives of Dallas,
you really should because the first season was good.
It wasn't great.
It was solid.
Season two was phenomenal. And honestly, you should be watching.
You should be throwing it onto your DVR, it's so good and you need to be part of this experience when we recap it.
Yes, so here we are, recapping it.
It's Texas!
Which means there's freeways, there's dogs and glitter cowboy hats. That was really like, like breakout star of the episode,
that dog with a little purple hat.
Statue of a bull, a statue of a horse.
I mean, we're back, exactly.
So should we, let's go through the new taglines, shall we?
Oh, let's do it.
I said taglines and then I said, Google that, Ronnie.
So let me look it up. I, okay, you can Google it. I have them ready if you want it. I said tag lines and then I said Google that Ronnie. So let me look it up. I okay, you can Google it
I have them ready if you want or do you want? Yeah, let's let's go over him come on
Okay, so the first one that we see is Brandy who's like this isn't my first rodeo
So I'm not taking your bull, which I like I think that's a good one. I
Mean, okay, she's got a lot. She's got a lot of room to grow for me.
Back girl. I know I agree, but I think it's a good line. I appreciate that line.
And Stephanie is investing in drama is not my budget.
So I forgot her good.
Your Stephanie impersonation is and it makes me laugh.
Actually, my favorite and person, not my favorite, but I feel like one of your low-key great impersonations is caring.
Like, you have a surprisingly extremely strong carry.
It's because I just crossed my eyes.
Now I'm nervous. I don't even want to do it because I don't remember having an impersonation of her.
Well, because she's sort of, she sounds mostly normal, but you add that Texas thing that only a Texan can add.
That like... She sounds mostly normal, but you add that Texas thing that only a Texan can add that like she's succing her cheeks
Yeah, but my wife gets messy just build a bigger closet
All of her tag lines are about closets by the way. Yeah, why is that when you have a husband who's accused of being gay constantly?
Like maybe move out of the closet. Yeah, that was my first my first thought was
maybe move out of the closet. Yeah, that was my first thought was,
if you wanna put this chapter behind you
of Leanne accusing Mark of being gay,
getting his dick soaked at the roundup
and you know what the God would do it.
So then why would you have your tagline
being like just build a bigger closet?
Just go have a bigger, deeper closet
to burrow yourself into.
Yeah, closet line after closet line.
So why don't you take over Deandra?
Well Deandra, running a family business is a job for one tough mother. Who ya hey? Who ya hey?
Hersh should have been like, I don't die in my sleep. I'll die alive by mother. I don't even know,
but hers are always about her mother too, which I really love the continuing storyline of the
mother just being the biggest ballbuster in the world. I love it. I love it. I
feel like her, but I feel like her taglines have been like, what the hell did
I say? I need my big black glasses. What's the set? It's just that's
every episode. It's just come out saying that. Yeah, Dandra has the
Dandra has the best glass readers out of any housewife and they've all got
readers. Like we've seen them all with their readers.
I mean, Dorenda really, really up to game
earlier in the evening, but yeah, I agree.
Dandra, when she busts out those things
that are like five inches thick, you know,
and she just puts them on like,
she looks like she's about to make a jeweled ring
or something, you know?
Yeah. And now for one of your best camera in favorite
You know, Cameron my love for Cameron is so deep and so strong even when others hate her
I can't I can't help but love her she goes I've got heels that are higher than your standards
Looking Cameron so fucking Cameron
Because of course last year was dumb
blondes get wait dumb blondes get attention get noticed smart blondes get
everything and then we get Leanne he's like you don't mess with Texas and you don't mess with me.
I'm so glad that Leanne's is based off of a slogan from Texas's sanitation department.
Totally, totally. It's a littering campaign, don't mess with Texas. I just like the idea of Leanne
standing there furious on a freeway and then somebody throwing like a Coke Canada head. Yeah.
Standing there furious on a freeway and then somebody throwing like a coke can at her head. Yeah
She's standing under one of those bet midler. I adopted this mile of highway signs
You missed her Texas and you missed me
I'm the wind beneath my own wings, okay. I just blow under my armpits
For God bet midler from a distance is the only way that andra can see me with those glasses. So then next up, let's see, okay, so we see the freeways, the dogs with the cowboy hats,
etc. So then we see all the ladies getting ready for their day.
And Carrius has been Mark is doing that thing where he's like, hey, it's another season. Let's try and convince people I still love you
And I'm not totally emotionally abusive to both you and our daughter
So he's bought her a new car
Of course. Yeah, of course and uh, this is this is how you homeschool your kid. What kind of corded mommy by daddy
Of course, okay, you're off for the right one
Mommy by daddy. Oh, boys.
OK, you're off for the right.
A loveless one.
So then we see Cameron and court with their daughter, Hilton.
And she's like, I'm first lady or whatever.
Like, here comes the first lady.
And court's like, oh, why don't you just be the present?
She's like, no, wait.
It's like, I always knew I like that girl
Yeah, so then Stephanie is in the car with her kid picking her nose
Yeah, he's picking his nose and the house her husband Travis is like he learned it from your side
As he like picks his nose out of his ear. I mean his nose. I size finger out of his ear. He would have his nose in his ear somehow.
Although I should mention again, I've mentioned this from time to time, but now that we're
back in Dallas, land officially, everyone should really look up Travis's brother, or maybe
it's a half brother or something like that.
He has a hot, hot, hot brother who has like an Australian or New Zealand accent.
And I think is like half Asian.
He's gorgeous.
So everyone's up.
All right, well thanks for bringing some redeeming qualities
to Travis to the table.
Yeah.
So the first full scene is what I feared.
It's Brambi with the screaming fucking baby.
Okay, listen people, we've been working on your ratings.
I want this show to be successful.
Nobody wants to look at a screaming fucking baby.
Okay, that is not how you open a shout
Yeah, and not only is this a screaming baby. There's also like a hyperactive dog named sugar on a chair vying for attention over the screaming
Baby, I'm like, oh
Please this is like I mean
Listen kids, I understand kids are kids at a certain point you can only do so much
But like every single scene we've ever seen
with Brandy at home are like children hanging off
of ceilings, you know, like jumping from couch to couch.
Like there's like silly string everywhere it feels like.
It's like I just get stressed watching her at home.
Yeah, because she says so calm in the middle of a storm.
It actually makes me nervous.
I don't like the calm in the eyes.
I don't like it.
I want people to be freaking out
If there's a storm you need to freak out. You're a human being. Yeah. Well, I would actually be okay with that if she was
If like she was slowly
internalizing all of that stress and then we just like would explode Liam Locke and style on a on a reliable
schedule, but she doesn't really she does that sometimes, but she doesn't really
She doesn't become like a monster the sometimes, but she doesn't really,
she doesn't become like a monster the way the way she should be turning into one.
Exactly.
Did you do to be more of a monster?
Yeah, please be more monstrous.
Please stop handling your stress so well.
You know that her husband still a monster because he named her child after a hockey team.
Or like a UCLA alum.
Oh, I put a Bruin, I looked at Bruin
because I was like, I know that something was sport.
So already I disapprove and I looked at refinance.
The Boston Bruins are a professional ice hockey team.
They are.
That is exactly true, but also it's the big thing here in LA
when UCLA goes up against USC, USC or the Trojans,
I believe, in UCLA or the Bruins, and they have a good fight.
But, I'm assuming one of them went to UCLA or is a huge hockey fan.
So either way, they have Bruin and Brooklyn, and what's the third child?
Oh, I forgot
Brigadier
Everyone's name on this show is fucked like court. There's like there are two different cruises
Yeah, what's court's brother's name? He has a brother named like
Like Tupperware something it's like some stupid name. So Brandy's like,
Surprise! Two weeks ago, I adopted a baby. Last year, I had fertility drama. This vagina
is closed for business. Then Stephanie texted me and said she found a baby, glued to a party
hat. That was sort of surprising when she first said that because I didn't realize that Stephanie had,
you know, a link to an adoption program.
So when she said, oh yeah, Stephanie found,
it's almost like, oh yeah, my friend was at Target
and saw that they have sconces on sale
and was like, do you wanna sconce?
Yeah.
Well, my friend Mercer has a large adoption agency,
so I met Mr. Spranti and I was like, my friend Mercer has a large adoption agency, so I messaged Brandy, and I was like,
my friend Mercer has a large adoption agency.
I actually like the text message they show it,
where Stephanie is like,
do you want a baby to adopt a baby boy?
And Brandy was like, what, like a dog or like a human?
Yeah, because he does that.
Yeah, I know.
But I actually thought, believe it or not, cuz y'all know,
something I talk Texas like, y'all know, you know,
like kids and babies are really not my thing, right?
But I actually thought it was really lovely
that Brandy adopted this baby boy.
I don't know, I think that like adoptions
a really important thing.
And I thought it was like, I was, I was, I was, I was touched
actually. Were you touched? I was so sweet. I was touched. Okay. So y'all just like appreciate
this moment when I'm being sympathetic. Yeah. I mean, look, I'm for adoption. I used to
always dream I was adopted because I love the movie Annie. So I'm like, actually tell us
of that red headed baby. I'm like, it's literally Annie. Why would you name it, Bruin?
Like you, you have Annie, the storyline,
dropped in your mouth.
What are you just gonna rewrite, Annie?
Like tomorrow, tomorrow, it's just like two days away?
That doesn't work.
Yeah, Annie's just happy.
She's like, today, today, today, today is a great day.
No.
Okay.
It's gonna be miserable.
It's gonna be miserable. It comes in with her notes. Okay. It's miserable.
It comes in with her notes. Okay. Here's what you got to do. You got to thank Annie. You have to thank the people that orphanage.
You have to thank other gingers. Okay. You have to thank other people. Green as
Mary D came to play. Oh, so Brandy's got her baby and she talks about like, wow. She's like, I knew it was my baby because the first time I held him, he grabbed my finger and pulled it and I farted. I knew I was. That's what I was.
That's what she does too.
I just, I love gripping your finger and farting.
So dumb. I've adopted Stephanie too.
Well, that's good. Hope you like swimming pool and you're living room.
That's what I've got.
So yeah, so she brandy is in the car and she's driving and she calls Stephanie and they're
just like talking about the baby.
Yeah.
Now this show, this happens over and over in this particular show.
People just drive very dangerous sleep Texas.
Like you've got a newborn and you're talking on speaker phone holding the phone.
You're like driving a bus with one hand.
You know, I need you to like, make more of an effort, okay?
Yeah, I feel like though,
that's like a Texas thing to do,
just to be like full of so much self confidence
that you're like,
people are just gonna get out of the way for me.
Yeah.
Cause like in New York,
we'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I've got to drive more mindfully, okay? So the baby is screaming and they're going to, they're going baby shopping.
Stephanie just happens to be right by the baby store. So they're going to meet up there. So then
we go to another scene and it's, you know, a big Texas office building and there's a sign-out
said that says pastoral counseling, Dallas yoga center, guaranteed fitness and nexus recovery center.
Yeah. I believe it to Texas.
It's like go to your pastor, do some yoga and guess what?
You are guaranteed to get fitness here.
And then you can recover.
I'm surprised it wasn't like a kinko is in there too.
I know it was just missing a chickfulay.
So this is where Leanne makes her star entrance for the season.
She arrives at mindful meditation with David.
That's what David.
David.
That's what it's called.
Mindful MMWD.
And here's where we knew that this series had been blessed by the Bravo gods because Leanne is
there and then Deandra enters she's just gonna join Leanne for meditation and
when Deandra shows up they play real housewives of New York jazz music in the
background sort of that like jazzy, Chimes, like a Pissoon, you know.
And I was like, this means, this is the seal of approval.
That's what that means right there.
Yeah, they're stealing music from Real Housewives of New York.
That means it's like made it in the Broadway universe.
Yeah, it's in good hands.
Yeah.
So Leanne explains to us, last year after the girls challenged me to change my behavior
I realized I don't want to keep going down the same rabbit hole and think I'll end up in a different destination
Like I've literally been going down rabbit holes. It's so dirty down there. I haven't found a rabbit. That's for sure
It's like water ship not down with that
So the way that she's changing herself is she's going to go to one mindfulness class
at the beginning of the season.
Yes, making it effort.
Yeah, Deandra's like, well, you know what, if Leanne finds a piece and she won't want to cut a bitch,
go to a bitch, throw a bitch, punch a bitch, touch a bitch, kick a bitch, slap a bitch, eat a bitch,
then I think that's good. I'm here for it.
So she's like, I'm here to support her, okay?
So David, the teacher appears, he's like, hi.
I'm David Sunshine.
What?
You look just like my yellow place.
And Liam's like, that's your real name, Sunshine.
I love that.
I want to change my name.
Leanne Sunshine would wake up and bird singing,
rainbows and butterflies and moonbeams
and all that shit I never had.
Fuck Leanne, sunshine, I'm gonna beat her up.
Fuck that bitch, is she down that rabbit hole again?
Okay, Leanne Sunshine, come on, come on, get it.
So he's like now to begin.
Why have you chosen mindfulness with David?
Well, I got angry issues and I learned recently about the amygdala.
They just cut to a dangerous face.
What?
Amygdala.
Here I am sitting in my zaffoos and my zappetans.
She's talking about having dollars. I mean come on in
So then it's like well if you suffer a lot of abuse especially abuse by a ginger with squinty eyes
Apparently your amigdalo gets oversized and I guess mine's just that the size of Texas itself
If you were tortured as a child or you're not the best at bobbin for apples at the carnival
Or if some redhead gives you shit
Where it's a poop pat to your friends party?
Your amigula gets abused
Cardney size amygdala, okay
Think I just think I hammered down on a thing of thing goes up in history amygdala
And danders like are you kidding me? I'm just cracking up.
She's like, I've learned that amygdala can be shrunken in months.
Munks do it. They do it through meditation, sitting.
There's most such pusses.
Honey, you need to learn to take responsibility. It's not your amygdala. It's you.
I am amygdala. Amygdala it's you. I am my amygdala and my amygdala is me okay. So Dan this is
I am a mech-dala. So I have to say this is the part in the show where I have to announce
according to the blogs, Dandra is much the season. Yeah I think that Dandra is like the big villain
this season and everybody turns on her and I'm so here for it because it's the second year
it's the year the bitch flower blooms for her and god I'm so here for it, because it's the second year, it's the year the bitch flower blooms for her.
And God, I'm here for it.
Because I know it's in there.
Oh yeah, I think she will make a great villain.
I don't want Leanne and Deandra to become enemies.
I think that they will, because there
was a scene in the trailer of them like fighting.
I love them together, but that being said,
I think Deandra will make
a fabulous villain. It actually makes just the prospect of it, it makes me even more
team Deandra, so I'm like very excited for all of this.
Yeah, me too.
So, now another thing I'm excited for is this whole entire season, because if the whole
season is like this moment, I'm just going to be just on my bed, a make-to-la exploding,
because we then see that the women now go into meditation
and like they have their eyes are closed and David Sunshine is like,
all right, we're now going to enter meditation and let's notice what sensations arise.
And then the camera zooms in onto Leanne's eyes and we just get this flashback of Leanne taking a glass from last season
and throwing it against the floor, being like, like bitch you and I will ever be friends.
So amazing.
And then Carrie like well you're telling people I solicited men for favors.
So and then Carrie you threaten to sprinkle me.
It was like a greatest.
There's not knobs.
There just hands. I think the view inside lands, Mikaela is like, is
glorious. Hmm. I just all that was missing was Marie Marie
carrying in the corner from Oh my God Marie, they need to bring
Marie back, but she overplayed her hand. She overplayed
it. She even have a hand. She overplayed. She overplayed
like she went to crazy on social. Yeah, she was she didn't her hand. She overplayed. She even have a hand. She overplayed. She overplayed. She went
too crazy on social. Yeah. She didn't. She doesn't know what she's doing. Yeah. So Shalma
Dia got her hands on her. She was done. Made her done. She had a fight with Shalma Dia
and the social media. So Leanne's like, when it comes to focusing, it's easy to focus
on. When it comes to those ladies, those three ladies, it's easy for them to focus on when it comes to those ladies those three ladies. It's easy for them to focus on me as an
Evil Ian, but I'm focusing on the side that no Sandra Bullock personally. Oh
Sandy, have you met my friend Amy G Dala? Huh? She's great
That he's like, okay, and I'm gonna stay. I'm out of here. Just touching
He's like, okay, and I'm gonna stay. I'm out of here. Just judging.
And the other way, bye.
She goes, I can see why they say it balances your amygdala.
The Andrews like you dumbass.
Yeah, so you brought me down here for this.
I could be yelling at my mother right now.
Every corner news is time for commercial break.
They'll just ads, but they work.
Wow, well.
Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
and insightful take on parenting.
Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident
not-so-expert experts.
Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.
Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
What would we do differently?
And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego
in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.
So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about
the hardest job in the world, listen to,
I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts,
you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app.
So Brandy and Stephanie are in the baby store and they're like finding their learning how a folding baby stroller thing works.
Yeah. And Brandy walks in with Brewin and Stephanie sees Brewin and just starts to cry.
Yeah. Oh my God.
It's a pretty.
So beautiful.
Why don't hold him.
Of course. Oh my God. He looks like you.
Oh my god, he looks like you. Oh my god.
Oh my god.
How is it keeping you?
It's a hard-knock life.
We got him.
He looks like you.
And he doesn't talk to you.
Just like Brian.
This is so sweet.
We got him.
So, yeah, Stephanie thinks that Brandy is like centered and with purpose right now, because that's the way she was when she first set Brooklyn
and now that she has brewed it,
we're seeing that now.
So, you know, that's what that is.
Yeah, and then Brandy's like,
I'm not gonna tell the girls until it's the right time.
When will that be?
Yeah.
I hope it's the annual dog park party.
Yeah, well, this will cause a fight,
because she's gonna tell Carrie, and then Carrie will be like,
wait, Stephanie's known for like three weeks and you haven't told me and she's like,
that's like kind of fucked up. I thought we were best friends.
That's what we're gonna get.
So, you know, we're gonna, that's what that's moving towards.
Yeah. So, let's see.
So, Dan and Jeremy.
Yes, Dan and Jeremy, they get together with some caterers because they're going to
be doing a big party for their fourth anniversary.
They do something every year for their anniversary because it keeps it exciting and stuff.
So they're going to have a party.
It keeps it in the honeymoon phase.
I love the honeymoon phase and the poor planner is like, okay. All right,
then. Thanks for the sex talk. Can we decide on salads? Do you want a crab cake or a
potato pancake? Please just tell us. Please stop masturbating at the table. So, Dandro explains,
in Dallas, divorce is normal. So we just keep talking each other once a year and to believe
in that this is real. And it's going to stay real as long as we just keep ordering salmon. Okay.
The five is gonna be between salmon and crab. What's it gonna be? You're gonna be mad,
but we're gonna compromise because this is year four and we are gonna make it mother. We are gonna make it mother.
Now I know Jeremy you want the crab cake instead of the potato pancake, but let's not forget that
crabs are equivalent to my mother. So I think about my mother every time you look at that crab
cake.
Now which one do you want?
Well, stir it up with a little mayonnaise.
Anything will taste good.
That's right, a little D-cake.
So, you know, Jeremy is so hot, by the way.
He's really hot, and he's a gentleman,
because when the carers left the table to go into another room,
he stood up, and I was like, wow, what a gentleman.
If you don't know that.
Oh, pfft.
So now they're talking about the guest list
for this party and all the people who are coming
and then when they talk about D,
they're like, oh, and D will be coming
and the music gets dramatic and Jeremy's like,
well, of course D is coming because of course,
we love her, she's your mother and she's like, yes, of course we
love her
She's my favorite person
But she's roller coaster, you know when my mom gave me the keys
I thought she was turned into over the rains, but turns out she changed the locks and I can't even get in the office now
So great, so we're not speaking anymore
to change the locks and I can't even get in the office now. So great.
So we're not speaking anymore.
And there you have it.
Turns out the key was one of those big ceremonial keys
that you get people, like when you become like a mayor
of honorary mayor of like Key West or something like that.
So turns out the key doesn't actually open anything.
So I've just been out to have the building the entire time
pounding on the windows.
Waiting for someone to tell me where the L22 is.
So gave me keys and then changed all the blocks to key cards
So that felt good that felt really good. What was the name of the lady?
The lady who worked at the company who like basically de-hundred took her job
My god about Sandra. What was your name? Jack Janet?
Jack Jack and Lanna. I don't remember
Someone tell ladies someone tell somebody
We can make more drinks about her so he's like calm down honey just calm down
You can have the salmon. I'm at a crosswords. I think she said crosswords. She's like I'm at a crosswords
I just have to stand up to mom. Okay, I can go for the damn 23 damn. I can't tell if I'm I can't tell if I'm a crosser down right now
I'm a word chumble
I'm right now that's what mothers tend to me. I feel like I'm one of those weird crosswords
where it's like all like horizontal and there's like circles in the middle and you're like what's up with this crossword
But it's like people still do it for some reason
I'm gonna see you do you so what I'm gonna do that bitch. Epi
you. So what I'm gonna do that bitch. Epi.
So Jeremy's like, you don't got to do anything but be yourself, honey. Just be
dandruff Simmons. There's just like a long pause as she looks around
and her readers like, that's what got me into this mess. Just like, I don't
have an identity as out of my mother. I don't. There's the worst thing you could
have said to me. So yeah, I just want D'Andra in the next scene to come out with like a little blonde wig and just scowling at everyone
Little Mima wig
Power me mom power me my hair. So next step is Cameron
Before Cameron, I mean the you know are standby or are the major major supporting star of this show a trolley
are the major major supporting star of this show. But trolley.
Trolley.
Trolley.
Trolley's like limping around because it's been hit so many times by the end.
It's dented and smoky.
Leanne's chasing it with like a broom.
Get back here.
I'm a dollar.
So we go to Cam's house and our friend, our friend Momo wrote us and she texted us during
this and she was like,
why does she live in a clown house?
I know.
And what a great way to describe it.
Because it really does look, it looks crazy.
It looks like one of those Las Vegas hotels.
You know, I think it's the kids room.
I think it's like the kids play a room that they were in
because the kids were bouncing off the walls.
I think they'd been hanging out with brandy's kids.
They were like, so amped up.
They had just taken a few pixie sticks.
So Cameron's talking to court.
She's like, I was just in my office going over my sparkle dog options,
which I can't even imagine what sparkle dog options actually consist of.
Like what are those?
What is a sparkle dog option?
And the kids keep interrupting them and the the
daughters like mommy why those crews have to be
potty trained.
And she is because if he wasn't potty trained,
you guys wouldn't be able to go in here,
which is hilarious.
The thought the camera just keeps her babies
outside until they can poop properly,
which I love actually
dumb children get potty trained smart children get everything
So she's Cameron's big thing is that for Sparkle dogs she needs a distributor
But she gives them she keeps them saying we need a distributor. Okay. Yeah, distributor. We really need a distributor right now
I wrote it D-S-T-R-I-B-T-E-R.
I wrote it as D-I-S-H-R-I-B-I-D-D-E-R.
Distributor.
We need a distributor.
I need a distributor right now.
Of course I understand this.
He's like, what's your goal?
Check, well, I started Sparkle Talk Food last year.
And right now, it's only been sold in a few boutiques
Amazon.
Which is amazing.
I never thought I had fans in South America.
Apparently, it's really popular with piranhas.
She's like, if court is going to continue to support this, you need to see a profit.
And I've got a lot of my shoulders.
I'm like, literally, you look like you've been toilet-papered.
You look like a house that has been toilet-papered.
Her, her, like, little boy is like tap dancing on her shoulders.
She's like, most people think I'm just this dumb blonde Barbie who loves pink
Anyway, no, but she goes but before I met court
I was planning on going to New York to go to design school
I'm like that's nice. That's a nice like that you had a goal
But doesn't necessarily make you smarter that you wanted to go to New York
But you never said if you got in
and like what design school it was and all that.
Yeah, I had a golden win at Tony,
guess what, my mantle still empty.
That's kind of how life works.
I've had a goal to have abs, guess what?
Don't see him.
Doesn't mean I'm in shape,
because I want to be.
So she's like, I gave up my masters in New York
for textiles for courts family.
Yeah.
And court is my having it.
He's like, well, either this needs to succeed,
or it needs to crash and burn.
Like, he's always exhausted, you know, by everything.
And she goes, well, guess what, court, I've been working on it.
Guess what, kids? Mommy is I've been working on it. Guess what,
kids? Mommy is going to have a tote bag.
Says sparkle dog on it. Guess what? I went to a cafe called
press today and they're going to make it for me.
Oh my God. This guy. So he's like, well, that's just spending more money, honey.
You need a retail presence. And she's like, I do have a retail presence.
Quartz. Okay. How did you heard of the Amazon River? This is marketing. I just need a
distributor. Helton goes, that's it, awkward.
And he goes, of course, like, well, if Mommy
doesn't get a distributor, Mommy is cut off.
And she's like, um, do you guys like,
sparkle dogs?
Who's voting for Mommy?
I was like, this seems really healthy.
Yeah.
You know, burdening your children with distributor
information stuff.
And then, like, and then,
and then courts like, who wants momy to stay home and spend more time with you and like,
love you and want to like hug you more, which is like so fucked up. It's not like, you
know, it's not like you can't do that if you guess because you want to like make a tote
bag.
Well, I could live this simple life and do nothing, but I don't want Hilton
to sit around and live off some man's money. What kind of example would that be?
Yeah, what sort of Hilton leads the simple life? Yeah.
See, by the way, you're literally begging your husband for money in front of your children right now. So. And so Leanne and Rich are next.
Yeah, time to go shopping.
Want to go shopping?
I'm going to go shopping.
I'm going to shop till I drop.
Release the brandy drops.
Hey Rich, you excited to go shopping?
He's like, I am a man.
A man is never excited to go shopping.
I'm going to act miseriously. Sorry, I was taking a sip. on man is never excited to go shopping. I can measure it.
Sorry, I was taking a sip and he's got a pirate patch on because his vision has gotten worse and worse.
And she goes, he wears a pirate badge now and for some reason he continues to believe pirates get more booty.
Even though I tell him they don't.
Oh, I'll say something about that, girls.
Somebody say pirate.
Wait, this person.
Hey.
1, 2, 3.
So, Lee is like, well, Rich,
the Andrews party is the first time I'm going to see everyone
see the reunion. And he's like, oh, women, girls keep
tracking that kind of stuff.
Don't think.
Yeah.
And just, Rich is just like every man.
He's like, I hate shopping and girl talk.
Yeah, exactly.
He's pretty much like not even paying attention during this scene.
And she's like, well, it's been the first time I see the girls, you know, and guess what?
I'm gonna own all my words.
I'm gonna own my words, which is Lance's favorite thing to do. Yeah, only. But she's like, and guess what? I'm gonna own all my words. I'm gonna own my words, which is Lance favorite thing to do
Yeah, only but she's like, you know what? I really want to have I really want to sit with Carrie before the party
You know because things are weird with this so he's like watch just call her she's like oh
Okay, so she she calls up they have to I have to add those part because it's one of my favorite clips because she goes
I'll need to talk to her because there's some stuff that shouldn't be said shouldn't be said
that I said you know she's making it sound like well we got a little fight and
then it shows the clip of her being like hands again what's they're gonna show
25 times and then carries like um you threaten to murder me so yeah there's
some things that shouldn't have been said and Lee and goes well
I wish I could tell you that you're the only person I threaten to kill
God, but
special
Okay, a lot of people I want to kill oh my god, they're so okay, so go ahead. Sorry. Yeah, it's like yeah
Caller collar just call her shit right now. I. So yeah, it's like, just call her, just call her, she's like, right now, she's like, yes.
She's like, okay.
So she calls it's like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
and then finally she answers, she goes, hey girl.
And that's pause, and then carry goes, hey girl.
And then just goes, make this face like,
oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Also, Leanne is calling, she's telling us
how not violent she's gonna be.
She's wearing like brass knuckles, you know, but they're, you know, Claire's diamonds or whatever, but they're covering
like four fingers, so funny.
Yeah, so it's like awkward between the two of them and basically Leanne's like, want to
get coffee and then Cara's like, um, yeah, okay, sure.
So they agree to get coffee and so the call goes surprisingly well and which is like they were just hands
So over at the nail salon
Brandy where everybody goes to relax here goes Brandy with her newborn
Yeah, she's there and Steph's already there so they like sit down and
Stephanie somehow manages to not cry in the presence of ruin. Yeah, and so we they're sitting there getting their many pennies
There's like I don't have you noticed this this I mean, it's probably fairly standard
But when they were like buffing Stephanie's nails there was so much stuff going up into the light
It was like were they like digging for dinosaur bones in her finger?
Yeah the light. It was like, were they like digging for dinosaur bones in her finger? Yeah.
And you know, it's like, Brandi was already driving one hand on the phone. And now she's
taking her baby into a fume tornado. You know, it's just like fumes and like dust flying
everywhere. Yeah, there was so much dust coming off those nails. It was like, anyway. So,
we learned that Brandi is not going to go to Deandre's anniversary party
because guess what Deandre has been doing hurtful things behind Brandy's back. What were
those things? Brandy goes, first Deandre said I have squinty eyes. I'm like have you seen your
show? You're like literally squinting right now while you tell us this? It's a pair. Like there's no son in this room and you're still squinting.
Ben, she said I abuse Adderall.
Which I'm like, I love that squint, she leads with squinty eyes.
I did like, oh, and then also called me a drug addict, but I've got squinty eyes.
You know, I had to buy a baby instead of adopting Gwen because she said I have Adderall.
So she's like, yes, bitch, I take Adderall and I have a prescription instead of adopting Gwen, because she said I have Natteral. So she's like, yes, bitch, I take Adderal
and I have a prescription.
Any questions?
Yes.
Why do you squint so much?
You know what?
Oh, but yeah, so I have a question.
Does Adderal make you squint?
Yeah.
I hear that squinting is from abusing Adderal,
is that true?
I mean, this is a woman who showed up at a party with like a shit hat.
She has mocked people so much.
And then Deandra says like, oh, she, she, I could, I could barely tell if she was awake because she was squinting so much.
That's like, really this, you're going to have, this is going to cause you to have
your food because of the squinty eyes.
I mean, yes.
And now, Rambi is going to do what she does every season, which is just team up with her
two girls and try to ignore the other girls, not show it for filming at other parties.
You know, she's going to try and pull the diva thing. And I have to say,
Brandy, I love that they've kept this cast the same. Me too. I really do. And just added
her ending, um, let your buns. I like that. I like that. The Brandy is still here, but they're not we're not watching for you
Like don't be a diva. We're watching for you to fight with Leanne. So you have to like show up to things
Well, I mean it looks like she will show up, but this but what's interesting is
Once again, we're starting off the season where Brandy is mad at Deandra and you know later on
We sort of realized that Deandra has no idea what Brandy is mad at her, which is exactly what Brandy
did to Stephanie last season.
Yeah, oh yeah, good point.
She gets mad.
She's one of those people who gets mad and then won't tell you.
And so you're just something like, oh, you're just not talking to me anymore.
But you can't, like, let me know so I can try to apologize, whatever.
Yeah, and actually, if you think about it, it's exactly the same as the last opening last year
because I'm sorry, Deandra's complaining about her mother.
Quart, what's your camera in is talking about
how she's blonde but not dumb or whatever.
Brandy is crying and squinting about something and Lance showing the head off a squirrel.
So again, so now speak of Leanne, they now start talking about Leanne and how,
oh, she's so awful.
She comes to people's families and Brandy's like, Leanne was never my friend,
which is like pretty nasty because you guys were actually friends last year.
Yeah, when you weren't talking to Stephanie, when you needed her.
Yeah.
And Brandy is like, well, she's trying to blame me and I don't want a friend like that.
She's negative and nasty and she'll hurt and come after you.
Um, hi.
I mean, it's true.
It's true.
And then Stephanie's like, well, I saw, um, I saw what she went through and that's a lot.
And you know, I do care if someone tries to ruin my family
like what Carrie went through because Carrie was really hurt.
Like she tried to ruin her family.
So, hmm.
Um.
So, she goes, I'm nervous about you.
I'm nervous about you.
Yeah, she's scary.
And I can't emotionally handle last year again.
It's like super unhealthy.
So, I hope she's saving therapy because she's a show.
I hope her $1 is not showing.
So, um, so now we then go to Leanne and Carrie meeting up at Dream Cafe on a rainy morning
and, um, so basically Carrie gets there and she's like, she tells us, I haven't seen Leanne
in months because unlike her, I don't need to go to every single charity event in Dallas.
I'm like, ooh, burn.
Oh, yeah, charity event burn.
You know that's her job, right?
Like, I don't feel the need to go to charities, you know, busy.
That was a random like, this.
Yeah, sick ignoring the starving children in Africa burn, Carrie.
It's also like, it felt like a year too late because season one was the one that
was all about charity like excessively about charities.
So the fact that she's like, oh, oh, I got one.
I remember how the end lights go into charities and stuff and say the charity
world's over, you know, I don't see her because I don't go to charities a
lot.
The charity world is over.
So she orders biscuits and gravy to go.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Because like, I don't know if I'm gonna have time to eat this
or like she's gonna try and choke me.
What, like she comes, oh, and that was the other thing
that's just like last year when Carrie and Leanne
met on that bridge.
Yeah.
We're gonna be not sweet childhood this year.
Yeah, I'm like I'm totally into that.
Yeah, exactly.
That worked out real well.
So Leon shows up.
You know, I mean, like,
Leon's ready for a fight if there's gonna be one.
She's wearing her Yeti sleeves, you know?
So she's ready to like, to claw at a bitch.
If she, if she needs...
It's like a Yeti jumpsuit.
It's so weird.
It's like an odd,
it's an odd outfit to have like fur on.
Yeah, especially when it's like raining, and it's like seven in the morning.
And they're at like just like a local diner.
Dream cafe.
Dreams.
Dreams can come true.
You know you got to have them.
And an amygdala too.
Well, my concern is Carrie's going to pretend she wants to move forward
and then talk shit about me on the phone.
So she sits down and lands like in like very like friendly mode She wants to move forward and then talk shit about me on the phone so
So she sits down and lands like and like very like friendly mode and she sees the she sees the waiter
And she's like this this face this is desperate for coffee
Afro ass will be get that coffee sir
I'm going to claw your face out. Mm. It's like I know the part is coming up. Not just want to see where we are.
And cares like, mm, mm.
Well, not at the point where I want to be friends.
So I'm still hurt.
So that's where we kind of are with at.
I mean, I don't want to be nervous to see you.
You know, I want to be able to be in the room with you
and not be scared, but at the same time,
you're dressed like a Yeti and it's alarming to me.
Yeah well I feel like I'm gonna say something and it's gonna spin round and round and round.
You know we've done this three years I just want better for I want you to be happy.
I want me to be happy. I want that waiter to be happy. You know what Mac you happy?
Bring a motion closet goddamn I'm gonna kill you.
Whatever I have, but a service around here.
Have you met David Sunshine?
I'll use it a lot.
He is a delight.
And Kerry's like, well, actions speak louder than words
and your actions spoke.
So that's all I can really say.
Hi, actions.
Hi, action.
What would it say if I flipped this table right now?
I'm punching the face.
What that action say now? You know what I don't even want to
talk about your actions because your actions are over. So they spoke already
they're done. They're not speaking. And then they have this like awkward moment
where like they're sort of they're they're kind of like dancing around the gay
rumors from last year and so they're both kind of like doing that stutter
interrupt where it's like uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh like let me cross my Yeti arms across my heart until you I'm genuinely sorry I'm genuinely sorry
the amygdala is a mysterious thing and it loves gay rumors and I can't control that but I've
told my amygdala stop that and David sunshine's working with me and we're working against It's a meantra driven gay rumors and I'll never do that again. Um, okay.
Okay.
Well, we have so many mutual friends.
I mean, can't we just have some decent seats?
Yeah, okay, fine.
I want to coexist.
Okay, fine.
Do I have lunch?
Catch up time?
Play some Nintendo Switch?
Yeah, no, not really.
Because last year I would have been like, yeah, that's like catch up. And then Leigh-Anne goes, oh yeah, you would have really because last year I would have been like yeah, let's like catch up and then Leigh-An goes
Oh, yeah, you would have done that last year
Which was a pet peeve of mine actually because I knew you were pissed and then you'd be like
Oh, I'd be like come on
You were such a fake ass bitch
She goes yeah, well I a look in the mirror and say, you know what, I'm not going to
sugar cut things this year.
So you know what, cheers to being honest, okay?
I'm just going to be honest and next time you're cut fitness, I'm just going to say you're
being good cut fitness, okay?
I like that.
I lay down my sword in the shape of a butter knife right here.
She's like, I'll do that too. I guess they're both pointed at me.
Ain't nothing I can handle for once.
She thinks I ain't going to kill her with the butternife.
That's exactly what I'm going to kill her with.
So how's your pasta arm going?
You guys still have the pots on the stove top.
Oh, good.
I feel like we're becoming friends now.
So do I.
And Carrie says, um, while Mark, you know, like he was so right about me,
not just like wanting to be home all the time, because like that was gross.
So he invested a million dollars for me to open a laser center for your face,
your neck, I mean, anything else that you have the laser.
Uh, so you know, now I'm a boss bitch.
Also, I asked for these biscuits and gravity go and they gave them to me in a bowl. So I guess I'll just eat them.
I'm like, I told them serve her the damn biscuits engraved to make her eat on camera.
She said that was that was good timing. She's like, I'm a boss bitch and her order's wrong.
And then she's like, well, grandma always said,
grandma always said, take one day at a time.
We're seeing a drunk.
No.
We're seeing a drunk.
She's a bony Franklin.
She's a bony Franklin.
Mackenzie Phillips.
This is it.
This is it.
This is life.
The one you got.
So let's just have a ball.
Let's give me a break. I sure could use it trying to get me to the top. So let's just have all
I sure could use it
Trying to get me to the top Okay, you take the good you take the bad taking both and there you have brandy
By the way, we haven't set on this show you're usually the one who I
Was going to mention in New York and I was like I'm not gonna bring down the going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to say I was going to Mrs. Garrett was first and I feel like porn Mrs. Garrett like she made it to 92 nobody even really cared and then Orita comes in and takes my
like
Excuse you so many problematic things with what you just said. I'm so furious at you. I care I care obviously I care
I'm just saying and you made it sound like Arita was like you know
Like Ruthie from the real world, Dyn, I'm like stealing from her. It was a Reath of Franklin.
She'll steal everyone's thunder.
Good for her.
I know, but wouldn't that suck to die
like right before a Reath of, it's like, damn it.
Well, it's like fair of faucet.
Where's my people cover, Judy?
How about fair of faucet?
Think about the fair of faucet.
Dyn, she died in the morning, and then like,
people were just starting to like,
like, write your obituaries, and then here comes Michael Jackson.
And be like, no, I'm gonna die today
Bye, I was there there was someone else in that three
Anyway, it's really sad so Mrs. Garrett aretha you're both my queens you're both two queens of mine and god bless you guys RIP
I know RIP. I mean I read the Franklin. Yeah
So some one check on Tina Turner because I could not.
I can't.
Don't you dare.
I can't.
Don't you dare.
I'm so mad that I've never seen Tina live.
That's like the one thing I really want to do
is see Tina Turner live.
And I think she's done.
I think she's retired.
She comes back every once in a while.
She's better.
She better.
She better.
So now that death is ever with, let's go to Dandra. She's better. She's better. She's better. So now that death is ever with let's go to
Dandra. She's all the families around. Well not her mom, but all Jeremy's extended family and she's in a
Camono and they're talking about what what everybody's gonna wear and where everybody's gonna sleep all their
Visiting. Her father-in-law by the way is basically Frazier's dad from Frazier. And he is good call.
Except not the real one because guess what John Mahoney died this year too. There he is. He is. Good call. Except not the real one because guess what?
John Mahoney died this year too.
There you go.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
Okay, let's just put this fucking recap.
All right.
Geez.
We're going to Denver soon.
Oh, John Denver's dead.
Okay, you know what?
Let's forget it.
Anyway, so Deandra, so she's got like extended family around.
And they're all just like chatting.
And Deandra is like very anxious about seeing her mom at the party.
So who's mother said you better go right upstairs and have sex now because you're married?
I couldn't tell. I had sounded almost like it was D but it also could have been.
Doesn't sound like D. It doesn't sound like D but I could also imagine D being like
clock second we need that baby. We need that baby. Yeah, Jeremy's like, well,
that was the best two minutes of my life.
God, I love fucking my wife.
I guess Jeremy's thing, that's all he talks about.
Yeah, and his son is like, yeah.
Yeah, she's like, well,
I'm really have to have his family,
but I love his family.
And there's substitution for power, we mall,
which all season night, and I have anxiety.
That's where I'm at. Thanks daddy.
So then we see this is Crosscut with Leanne and Richard
getting into their town car going to this big
anniversary party and you know they got engaged
last season but so far there is no wedding date
that has been set and Leanne is just like,
you know she's like I don't want to pressure
because I'm except I pressure then it's never gonna happen. But I don't want to pressure, because I'm going to, except I pressure, then it's never going to happen.
But yeah, I don't want to pressure you, but when we get married,
when we get married, that's like Leanne's version of not pressuring someone.
No pressure, but when we get married, motherfucker.
Yeah, exactly.
And just to show everybody that she's truly going to be nice this year,
she's wearing like some Catholic school girl uniform, it's weird.
She's like, I'm just going to stay at this party. If I see any animosity or negativity, I'm just
gonna stay center, just centered. And which is like, it's all good
in the hood.
What?
Yeah, it's kind of confusing the whole way around. So the party
dandra arrives and gets glam shots and staff. And then they're
going over seating. Yes. And she's like, we have to take these
two people off my table. And okay, this is over seating. Yes. And she's like, we have to take these two people off my table.
And OK, this is the gay pride table.
And let's put Stephanie with Leigh Ann's
so I can get to know each other.
I think they just need to get to know each other.
Yeah, I'm, yeah.
I'm like, oh god, that is impressive.
And she says, of course, I'm putting myself next to my mother.
Keep your friends close.
And your enemies close
It's gonna be me then D then a little tube TV VCR combination next so she loves that thing, okay
And then she gets the text that Brandy's not coming
Yeah, and that's when the end was like well, I guess we have an issue I didn't realize but apparently we have had an issue so there's that. Yeah Jeremy it's like it's our night
relax this is all about you and all of the food your mother just paid for. It's the
thing of which D event so people start to arrive it starts to fill up and D shows up with this
she has her big Texas smile like power me ma heat smile. Yeah so good smile that's such a good way
to put it because she totally does. Yeah. And
she's just, you know, she's getting drunk and she's just saying little shady things off to
the side. She's like, she has a date name, both. I'm like, young gay guy. And she's like,
you realize I was engaged 14 times, right? 14 times. He's like, yes, I've heard it.
And Cameron, I love, I love Cameron, her commentary.
She's like celebrating a four year anniversary is so odd,
but maybe Deandra celebrates anniversaries in dog years.
Happy 28th anniversary.
I was like, that's odd too.
Why doesn't it make any more sense?
That's definitely it's like, well, right now me and
Cam are in a good spot. My son was sick and she reached out. She's like a good doctor.
Dr. Cam medicine woman. And then D after the side D is really coming to play. She's off
to the side. She's like, I can't believe the end of still married because she has had some experiences though. Let me trust me. Trust me. I wish they do something. This is boring. What a
boring party. This is not sort of party that a head of a company would run. That's
for sure. This is the sort of party that, you know, a secretary does. Okay. I'm just
going to put it out there. Support bow, port down trodden bow is like I'll get you a refill honey
So the girls all start gathering and debuts in saying hi darling. How are you? Oh?
D's I would I said deep because the andras talking and deep butts in and she's about to yell at Deandra until she realizes that Deandra is with the castmates
Because she goes hey, will you explain something to me? Oh, huh?
How are you darling? How are you, darling? How are they, Stephanie?
She goes, yep, it's me, Mama Day. You know, y'all need a Mama. Okay. Y'all need one.
I'm Mama Day. I'll be your Mama. I don't know. You're great, Mama. Oh, God. I love
people who appreciate Mama. Turnl instincts. You girls are just wonderful. I wish I had
daughters like you. It would be nice to have daughters like you live in breathing. Daughters instead
of the paperweight that came out of my vagina. Oh, there you are, Deandra. Hey, you know what
I'm going to do for all three of you girls? Guess what? Y'all get keys to the company.
Now Deandra, could I get another one of those potato pancakes? Oh, you don't have
you got crab cakes? Okay. So Liam is hugging carry and they're being really nice
to each other and Cam's like,
oh my, you guys are hugging close.
So this is new.
I'm so relieved they moved on
because they are exhausting.
Yeah.
Okay, it's like, we're moving forward.
So that's what we're gonna forward. So I took over going to do.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, yay.
And then here's today and we're finding happiness.
And he goes, I never thought she would.
I mean, let's be honest, she'll never be happy.
It's just an inconsolable little brat.
That's what I say.
Doesn't reflect my mother in the skills reflects her being un-appreciative. So they get their seating assignments and
Stephanie's like oh Jesus she sat next to Leanne and carries like um her
but hold just tight.
So he's like I had a dream last night that I said next to Leanne and I was
happening. So literally my dream is now my nightmare like am I being punk?
Leanne's like you still can't spell my name Jesus
Stephanie's like well, my name is spelled correctly
Well, fuck you mine has an a at the end a a a a
And Leanne is just off the charts already Dinner hasn't even started and she's like let's get a little bit right. Let's get cheers to the fun table. Let's turn up. Turn
down for one. Oh,
wait, nevermind. Sorry, Carrie. What aggressive wait never mind sorry Carrie
Own the aggression PTSD from the amygdala, okay
Magdala amygdala amygdala what is that anyway some sort of meek thing in my brain?
So meanwhile the Andres is just like trying to eat like her potato or something and he's like okay Now first of all, I got a thank you guest for coming and then you got a thing feel you got think alberto
And you got thank Thomas because Thomas worth the flowers and thank him for dot dot dot
I thank that motherfucker out on care what you do that that gay man the corner
You got to say something nice about him just do all that like you know if you do that
Maybe I'll promote you to like nothing because that's what you are yeah
I'm poor dandra just puts her face in her hands like Jesus Christ
So liana Stephanie are getting along.
Which is really weird. And Andrew is like, well, that's why I sat there together. Because I knew
they'd block each other if they were alone. And they do. They're thing, thing, thing, I win.
Yeah. And Stephanie's like, uh-huh. Leanne is like so nice tonight. And I think of her like,
issues with Brandy and
I think I'm gonna give her a chance like another brandy's not gonna like that but
I'm gonna give her a chance which is good because that means it could be craziness because
basically Stephanie is I think they'd be more fun together Stephanie and Liam
they would be Stephanie basically says you know maybe I missed judge her all these
years because Leanne had these issues with Brandy and Carrie but maybe I missed
judge her so also basically like last season that was Brandy was because Leanne had these issues with Brandy and Carrie, but maybe I missed your stir. So also basically like last season, that was Brandy was into Leanne, so now Stephanie's
going to give it a shot.
So we'll see how that works out.
Yeah.
So Leanne goes, you know, I bought some spanks to lift my butt.
They didn't lift my butt.
Stephanie's like, oh my god, she's like, no, I like her now.
Well, turned out it was a plastic bag from Ralph's, but I thought it was spanks.
Put my feet to go to handles.
So I didn't leak.
That was good.
I didn't pay the tan sands either.
So Kerry now is talking to Cameron about how things have been improving with Leanne.
They had a conversation and things were good and they're just gonna move forward.
And Cameron's like, yeah, I just had goosebumps.
How have you guys come this far so quickly?
If I wish I could come that far with sparkle dogs,
but I need to find a distributor.
I wish I could have come this far.
So next up, they have like some gnarly dude, I know, I wish I could have come this far.
So next up, they have like some gnarly dude named Bill Hutchinson.
Is that what mayor is something?
It's his house.
That's his house.
Oh, yeah.
So he's like, argh.
And he's like, Leanna Rich got, uh, oh, he goes, congratulations to that for a couple.
And he's like, here is my speech.
Thank you for coming.
But Leanna and Rich are going to get married right now. Right now. was that a couple and Deandre's like, here is my speech. Thank you for coming. But
Leanna and Richard are going to get married right now. Right now. Come on. Get up here.
Get up here. Right now. Actually, I think it was some random other lady who was doing that.
But then Deandre basically says, you know, if you, uh, if you're engaged, but there's no like
wedding day, if you're stalling off the wedding, then there's a bigger issue happening. Okay.
There's a bigger issue happening, which is probably going to be the seeds of their fight right there. Yeah. And then Rich is like, did you know about this?
His face is turning red. He's like uncomfortable. Leanne is like her heart is bouncing out
of her chest. She's so excited to be continued. Will they get married on the spot? Probably
not. Actually, you know, Leanne was fuming like what you think I'm gonna give up chance for a Bravo Bravo flint wedding
I don't think so. I'm having a wedding bitch. Yeah, yeah, and that brings us to the end of Delah. Yeah, so good
I love this show great season. Did you like the season premiere? Did you how did you feel about it?
Oh, yeah, I just love having them back. Yeah, so good. I like a season premiere with
Little Fighting or something. And I'm kind of annoyed that it's the exact same story of
I. It's like sparkle dog food. My mom said it kind of annoys me, but I think that they
need to reintroduce people because, you know, there's probably going to be a lot of new
viewers, hopefully, because they did something really nice to this show, which is they put
it on the same night as New York and change the time slot so people were tricked into watching
it.
Yeah, which is really nice.
And I think, you know, this is, I think it's going to work.
I think they're kind of like resuffling it a little bit, but sort of going with the
same things.
And I think it's such a strong cast, and the cast has great chemistry,
and there's a lot of frenemy vibes in this cast,
much in the same way that New York has that.
It's sort of, when I talked about the New York Jazz
playing in the beginning,
the truth is it is sort of moving in that direction
of like a bunch of outsized personalities,
a group of frenemies, as opposed to like Orange County, where it sort of like one group and then another group. There's like a lot of tangled
alliances in this show. And I think that's what makes it really, really strong and I just hope it
keeps moving in that direction. Yeah, girl. I love this show. So I'm glad it's back. We love you, Dallas.
Absolutely. I'm very excited to have it back. We'll be talking about next week's episode.
We're going to talk about in Atlanta.
Go to watchworkrappons.com to buy tickets for, well,
that show is sold out, but the next show is the work
I'm going to talk about in the first ever episode
of Real Housewives of Atlanta, series premiere
at our late show in Atlanta.
And of course, talking about a Palm Beach
we're going to discuss, New York reunion part
one.
So that's gonna be super fun and tomorrow we're gonna talk Shahza Sunset.
So there you go, everybody.
Great times.
Love you, Ronnie.
And we'll talk to everyone tomorrow.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
Hey, prime members.
You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus
in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short
survey at Wondry.com slash survey.