Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Cry Me A Joan River
Episode Date: October 20, 2017The feud between Siggy and Margaret reaches epic new levels on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey. It can only lead to one thing: bragging about Joan Rivers. Come join us as we recap... this madness. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch what happens with like to think it's premium sponsors!
Kelly Grant, The Grant Master!
Cindy Berges-Gurson, What an amazing person!
Just saying, Okay!
Kelly Barlow, When she goes Barlow, We go High-Lo!
Jason Andrews, The King of the Upside Down Twitter Pick,
and Kristi D'Awardy, the OG Prem-Supreme.
Watch what crap bins, watch what crap bins,
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins.
Poppins, poppins, to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com
slash watch what crap ends.
And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapans.com to find all our social media links.
And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over
at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what
crap ends. Hey everyone welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap on bravo
that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Madelker from bshablog.com and the banter blender podcast and
joining me is a man who might be as funny as Joan Rivers. I don't know maybe maybe I'm funny
with the new Joan Rivers
Maybe he is maybe Joan Rivers is funny with them both of us hard to say
But it's Ronnie Karen from trash talk TV and the Rose Frick's bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie?
Hi there, man. How are you?
I'm so good. How are you doing, baby? I'm great. I'm thoroughly entertained after having just watched this week's real house
I was a New Jersey episode We are about to get to that in one second. We're going to be
recapping that. And of course, though, we must always plug our San Francisco show. We
decided to do something special for our show on November 4th at Social Hall San Francisco.
Go to tickets at watchacrapans.com. The links are there, they're not a lot of tickets left.
Like, as of like five days ago, there were about 35 left, so I don't know how many left now.
But obviously we're doing a podcast, a lot of podcasts in the Bay Area, and the Bay Area has been pretty much ravaged
northern California by these horrific fires. So we are putting together
something so we can donate some proceeds to the recovery of the regions that have been
hit by those fires. So we're working on that. So if you come, you will not only be thoroughly
entertained by us, but you will actually be doing something good for the local community
there. So that's that.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we wish we could just take everybody
to a diner to cry about this.
Because that's the best way to get through everything.
She's fries at an omelet.
That's what this world needs.
You know what?
You bring everyone to a diner,
cry it out, compare yourselves to Joan Rivers, then compare how well you know Joan Rivers.
Or use more like Joan Rivers. That's the best. I'm more of a Joan.
I'm more of a Joan.
You guys know that Joan Rivers has passed away, right?
You're both zombie Joan Rivers.
Okay, congratulations to both win.
Exactly.
You know, you know, maybe Joan had the right idea.
She's like, you know what?
I think Donald Trump might be heading to the presidency
and I don't want to be in a situation where I have to defend him
because he made me win.
He allowed me to win.
Slubbity apprentice.
So I think I'm just going to check out.
Check it out.
She probably will be the one in charge of dealing with Putin.
You know me like Secretary of State or some shit.
If Joan Rivers were so alive, maybe she could keep President Trump a little bit in order
there.
Maybe you could fix things.
I don't know, but you know, maybe Trump could call upon SIGGI and Margaret because they're
both so Joan Riversy.
Yeah. To fix things.
Well, so much has changed in modern politics.
It might not be bad for everybody to just be like, man, you are.
No, you are.
No, you are.
Okay, let's be friends.
Let's just not nuke each other.
We all enjoy cheese fries.
What a SIGGI were president.
I mean, her state of the union would be epic.
Okay, I have to say, this is wonderful.
We have the Democrats. We have the Republicans. There's some sort of tea party that's happening. It's a wonderful time. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry
What about the city?
This is all I want to!
It's all I want to!
That filibuster. It was so rude. It hurt me so deeply. So deep way you would never stop talking I couldn't I couldn't I could have
Listen buster. I'm talking about you filibuster
So many bills why can't we just send each other love?
I'm actually looking up a state of the union transcript
And I can't I can't find one to run to stupid
the union transcript. And I can't find one. Jolentie stupid.
You know what I'd like to veto? Joshua going off to college is my baby.
I'd like to feed them locks on teenage boys doors.
You know what I'd like to veto throwing cakes at a restaurant across the floor.
Just rude. Just brewed.
Oh, my good.
Yeah, loving New Jersey this season, loving it.
Another like to me, another thoroughly entertaining episode.
Three to row.
Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, the first lady of the United States
and citizens of America.
Are you watching in your homes right now?
That's all I wanted.
You're not that disgusting.
I'm not trying to inspire you.
I'm trying to ruin you.
When they go low, I get very sad.
I'm very emotional.
That's from her convention speech.
Oh my goodness.
So this episode opens up with Margaret walking into her home office with all her mom and all the super-s me.
She's like, hey guys, what's going on?
I have Exhaustion from that trip, I tell you one thing.
It's a micro-jossips.
Okay, you know what? I'm just, you know what?
It's very, very difficult for me.
It's a lot going on.
A guy like Zazia.
Why not?
Okay, see how's this?
What are you going to say?
I was going to say how we both have been trying to work
on our margarits in the past week.
Guy, for bit, I have the ballroom ready.
It's very difficult, because we were talking the other day
about how you can work on it as much as you want the night we were talking the other day about how you
can work on it as much as you want the night before, but the next day it's kind of all gone.
Yeah, and I was like working on it like an hour ago, and I'm really trying because I feel
like I could get it. I feel like this one is within my grasp, but something I could get
to.
Yeah, that's a bit I have the ballroom ready. Well, because I can't really do it because
she doesn't have the like full on Dorenta tongue. It's like in the back from now. Well, because I really do it because she doesn't have the like Full on to rent a tongue it's like in the back from now. Well, she talks in the from she does something very strange
She's manages to talk from the back and the front of her mouth at the same time
So it sounds like there's like a bubble back there, but she's also talking from the front
It's a very strange thing Michael Joseph's I
Just always say Michael Joseph's together
I'm gonna go hey, much, much, I've got a good job right now.
It's just very difficult for me.
I've got a new line of some of the eggs.
We have to do a launch party.
And of course, Super Joe said it's going to be a quick turnaround.
But guess what? Six months is not back.
Classic Mods.
Classic Mods.
Classic Mods. she loves doing that.
Did you notice, by the way, that her dress, which I'm assuming is from the Macbeth collection,
in the opening, like in her title thing where she like turns around and is like,
yeah, I am, my grotesque. It's, it looks like an old lady couch covered in plastic.
It's like she literally went to Boca, cut a cushion and wrap herself in it I don't get it
Plastic she should cover herself in plastic
I mean when you're named after McDowell Macbeth you're just begging for your clothes to have spots all over him
Lady Macbeth probably started wrapping her plastic encounters. Let me take let me taste him
Let me taste him with my own good justice collection. Okay, you don't even get a spot in the first place because
covered in plastic. Okay, you don't even have to say add out dance spots. I'm more like, uh-oh,
damn spot. It's off me already. Okay, that's what that's what Shakespeare's gonna be like.
It's gonna be very very very easy clothing. You know what, if that was my play,
it would be called out damn Joe. Okay, because Joe is like ridiculous. Joe. Joe. Joe is very ridiculous. You know it would be called it would be called
Bubble bubble toilet. You know what? I don't want to do this this called you anymore. That's what it be called
I don't want why do I want to be in a cauldron? I want to be you know what?
I don't even barely cook I cook like five times a year
I'm gonna get I'm gonna toil over over a call called you know, I'm gonna do I'm just gonna sit around and wait for
Duncan to show up. What was his name again? What was the name of the guy from Macbeth Duncan?
McDougall Mac Duncan Macdog look there's no one character I care about this lady Macbeth, okay? Who else was wearing fur around the shoulders?
But everything lady
You know who I you know who I don't trust at all is that a fulia?
Is she even in Macbeth is she in hamlet? I don't know what she's in
You know what though, but you know what though she is a spot. She needs to get out of here
You know hack even Macbeth back. I was so crazy. You know what I call him crack bath
That's what I call him. That's so much
So much. It's so much. You know what like Macbeth, you know absolute power corrupts absolutely. That's so much. That's a march right there
like Macbeth, you know, absolute power. Correps, absolutely.
That's so much.
That's a mod right there.
You know, Joe, we're trying to get this ballroom ready.
Joe, how long is this ballroom gonna take?
Six months, I got a party tonight
to celebrate my elephant and duck skin cosmetic bags.
Joe, I'm making it look like I'm the bad one, okay?
Joe won't let me have any construction workers
anymore over here because like he knows,
he just knows they want me
You know one day he said I saw how they was looking at those pig tails. He's crazy. He's crazy
He's crazy. No, he's like in a mid-Summer night dream. That's what he's in right now
Okay, you know what though my pigtails and my signature. You know what's like people can look at them
I like that. So you're making me crazy. It's like a mid-Summer night screen
Okay, you know it's just classic match. Classic match. You know what I love. I love that she has this crazy assistant lady who has a very fake, well, it's not that
I can't tell what's going on with her accent, but I assume it's a fake British accent because
her jersey accent keeps popping out because she's like large March where the cosmetic samples have
arrived so it's all about whipping out a party in four days. Yeah, I think that she's from England
and she's been and she moved here probably younger and so she's getting the Jersey accent.
Would you like to have some tea time? My the fucker. It's like it's weird because it's not even
it's not degrading the London accent
It's still like posh, but in the Jersey accent way. It's very confusing. It's like almost Madonna, you know, but it's not quite
Either way, I was really I really enjoyed it and it was weird how it would switch off on certain words
You know, yeah, oh is it time for tea because I'm getting very thirsty
Are we gonna have those makeup bags ready for your pay
I was just a tape recorder slowing down
Daisy
Daisy I
Just love how crazy Joe is thinking, oh my god, Margaret and those sexy pig tails.
They're never going to be another construction worker is here.
They're going to look at her old couch dress and say, I want to get onto those covers.
I want to be posted at bitch if you know what I'm saying.
One man doesn't want to come home and rest his
rest his head next to a pig tail on some fur, huh? Hey, you know what? I may be
I may look like an easy chair, but guess what? This bitch isn't easy at all, okay?
So Marga's telling her crazy, accented assistant and all her employees and
Marge senior, who I guess could be large March, except she's already on real
housewives of Beverly Hills, but she's telling them large again.
That's got the
large march is Kathy Hilton. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
That's I always forget because that's from it's from trash talk TV right.
Yeah, but I've been saying it since the beginning of real house I said Beverly Hills.
I don't really know why. It took me like four years from even understand why you said it.
I mean, I don't know why you say because she's scary because she's so scary
She's like telling dodge march saying you it's like she bosses the whole family around yeah
But anyway, so she's telling everybody like sticky is unhinged
see like I
Don't even know I can't even think of something great. She's like a door. You know what she is? She's like a sliding door. There's no hinges there.
She just slides. You know that was right there. Do you see the timing on that joke?
It was hilarious. You know I would have said that to Joan but she died
die before I could go to my million dinner party at her house and look how
sliding doors affected Gwyneth Paltrow's life. There it is. Another, that's another classic match right there.
She's classic. My she says, she also says, by the way,
that she always hosts her parties at her house for her,
she's like, this is just how I do it.
It's very, she goes, I always host these parties in my home.
It's just classic match.
I'm like, you know, it's called classic cheap.
That's what it is.
Yeah, it's called don't want to pay the very ballroom.
So we intercut with her talking about SIGGI to all of her employees to SIGGI talking
to Michael Campanella.
And she's rolling meatballs and she's like, oh, it's so slimy.
So slimy.
Just like Margaret.
And Michael's like, so how's it been going?
I know that on this trip to Boca, your town, otherwise known as your town.
You wanted to make it nice for Teresa, and I know it was Melissa's birthday as well.
Okay, Michael Campanela. We know that you've talked about this before you've rolled 100 meatballs.
Like, we're even going to use that many meatballs? They were rolling an army of meatballs.
Oh God. Yeah, they were making it. Yeah, where were those meatballs for? He's like, now hurry up,
Sige. You don't want these to get soggy. Now, Michael, not you, A2, Brutay.
That would be our fourth Shakespeare reference in this ridiculous recap. That's right everyone. We're doing hello today
Classic man
So Siggie's like well, I'm upset with Teresa and I'm upset with Melissa
But I am living with my I brought margin and then we cut back to March and she's like
I didn't even know they was coming, okay?
We were at the beach. I looked around. They weren't there. I mean, it didn't even click with me to cool them.
Yeah, I don't want to hear about you missing uterus. Look, Marciina doesn't have a missing uterus and she doesn't cry every day.
She's right. I don't
But she's like, you know what? Like, you know, it's like Well, did I do anything that was so bad? You know what this is what I did
I said I read it and I said, you know, it's like your soggy soggy, you know like basically classic match
You call the soggy and you lose the mind and everyone's like
Oh
Classic man and it cuts it. I got the city be like she called me soggy flicker
And then she almost cries like way to prove her wrong, Siggie. Oh my god, my dad.
And then March Senior's like,
look, this much I know about you.
Okay, you don't hold grudges,
except against your mother.
And everyone's like,
hmm,
like the time you didn't invite me
a Joan Rivers house.
I still remember, I guess that's me with the grudge
So then we go over to Dolores where she's doing something very exciting. She's got she got new clothes
Frank's like you got new clothes. Yeah, I got new clothes like you know, what's the deal?
I got new clothes new time for my life. No boosted. You know new cap and it's got getting you close to Frank
Like what's the deal? You know you're living here. you haven't been here 18 years, but guess what, I get
new clothes, Frank.
Yeah, you haven't noticed because you haven't been around for like almost the age of a child,
Frank, okay, but guess what, the Laura's also gets new clothes.
Hey, did you know I got three jobs now, Frank?
Did you know that?
Hey, Frank, this new silverware, can you believe it when no longer using sports?
I mean, Frank, it's like he leaves. He leaves for 18 years and then he's shocked that we
now fold our clothes in this household. It's like he can't even believe that his absence
can now vote in America now. He's been gone that long. It's crazy. I got my new clothes
booze gone. You know, it's crazy. Maz. And there's just clothes all over the kitchen counter.
Yeah. Frank's like, this is what happens when I'm gone. The clothes don't get folded. I'm telling you, the whole thing just went
to poop. The whole, the second I left the house. And he's folding the shirt on the, the
counter. He's like, you don't do it right. He did fold it very nicely, by the way. I was
like, I'm taking tips. I'm going to change my folding technique. I'm going to, I'm
going to do the Frank method. So now she's like, did you, did you mess with Frankie when
I was gone? What did you do to him? What did you do to him? He's like, did you, did you mess with Frankie when I was gone? What did
you do to him? What did you do to him? He's like, what did I do? I didn't do any, what,
what, what, because I have a perfect fold. What is that a sign of guilt? And she's like,
listen here, Frankie, better say, did you call him an embarrassment? And he's like, well,
okay, maybe I did say that. You want him and a apology, Frank? Okay. You overreact
to Frank. I'm like, he's the parent and the son
did not turn in his college applications. I don't think it was an overreaction.
Yeah, and I like that. Frank is just going with it because he didn't say you're an embarrassment.
He said, don't embarrass me and your mother. That's what he said. And wasn't even that bad.
And also, this was after Frankie spilled dry pasta all over the countertop. Okay, he didn't get yelled out for that.
Exactly.
So he's like, look, if he's got you, parent, and one day, me, parent, and another day,
who's going to be his real parent?
And she's like, oh, well, I can see why he had a breakdown, Frank.
You see, that's what happens.
One parent says one thing, another parent says one thing, then boom, you got breakdowns.
It's happening all over America, Frank.
That's why kids are going kukku, Frank.
Delores figures it out. Yeah, she's like, let's meet in the middle. Okay. We'll stand
in the middle of the road on every situation. Every time Frankie's, you know, does something
wrong. We'll just say, you know, I'm not happy. That's the beat him. Beat Frank. Yeah.
Exactly. Please.
Frank is literally built for this.
This is his moment.
You brought him back.
Now let him beat him.
He's an adult.
It's not abuse anymore.
In him.
So Teresa and Mel are moving their dad into Teresa's house.
And you know, of course, the way that you make someone
feel comfortable is to not take
them away from their plastic-coded furniture.
Yeah, I like that.
Oh, look, is this the McBeth collection?
Oh, no, it's just no, no, it's bad.
So they're pulling in all this furniture and then eventually Melissa, Tree and Joe
wind up upstairs putting together this bed.
And Joe's like, so tell me about Boko Raton.
And they're like, ah well, you know like you know
Sikki was like crazy and everything and you know she's crazy and like Dolores was on her side and it's like we you know Dolores has always been our friend
We know in a sense we're a little like where's the loyalty with Dolores, you know, they're just looking for a reason to get upset.
Yeah, you gotta love Joe.
She's not Dolores one year. She's known us forever. Where's the loyalty?
It's like you didn't speak to your own sister who you're talking to right now for like years and years
Your sister solely came on this show took drag her ass through the mud. Yeah, please not talk about
Yeah, loyalty so there was just some back and forth with Dolores and Frank and then the the gorga is about like you know
Like where's the loyalty and the l's being like, you know what, it was terrible, you know, there was so many like,
the way she brought her into this, like, you know, sort of back and forth.
Nothing.
My friend used to like a tool, Frank.
He's like, I got tools.
All right, Frank, I read just a bit of my way.
We all know Frank, okay.
Well Frank, I got new clothes, okay, because this is what happens.
You've been gone for 18 years.
You don't know how it works, okay.
It's called Amazon.
It's a new thing.
It's not even reinforced anymore.
It's not just a river.
It's also a way of getting clothes, okay. Okay, Frank, like, you know what, it's called Amazon. It's a new thing. It's not even it's not even reinforced anymore. It's not just a river It's it's also a way getting close. Okay, okay Frank. Like you know what it's crazy. Mass
so
Then we go over to envy and
Macrick shows up and Macrick's like oh look at this fabulous place. I love it. I love it
It's just like I love a good Chachka tour shop
This is actually a boutique. Oh
Okay, well, this is nice
Did I hear boo? He's got a teeth now.
God, I miss boo.
Have I mentioned boo?
Like get out of this scene to Laura, it's okay.
You're still folding shirts in your kitchen.
So Margaret's like, everything's mentioned as beautifully.
Beautifully, beautifully mentioned as I love it.
It's very beautiful right now.
I love it.
I love it so much right now.
It's wonderful.
He's like, people are talking about Dolores being up,
Ziggy's ass.
Margaret is up.
All these people's ass.
Yes, and Melissa is crawling.
It's wonderful design of the price tags.
I love it.
Great.
Yes, it's like a 69 of up the ass because Melissa is so
a perass due because Margaret's like, oh my God, these
patterns.
Look at these patterns.
And she goes, oh, yeah, you have patterns too.
Where do you get your patterns?
And she's like, well, basically have patterns too. Like, where do you get your patterns?
And she's like, well, basically what we do for our patterns
is that we make them ourselves and then we copy our item.
And Melissa's like, oh my God, we like bounded
over being in the same industry.
And she has a lot to teach me.
I'm all eyes and ears on Margaret.
To be fair, everyone in the world
has a lot to teach Melissa Gorgah.
She's just like, oh,
like everything to her is like going to the learning annex.
She's like, have you seen Frank full of shirt?
My eyes and ears are on Frank.
Okay.
So Danielle comes in, sweet can go fashion in a hot pink.
That only means it's hot pink. It's like baby
pink or something. Leather jacket with huge shoulder pads. And she's wearing this necklace
that's got like a layered ribbon thing on it. It was all very confusing. It's like if you
just pull that string, everything comes off. I don't know. It was an odd outfit, but it's
Danielle. Yeah. And so they're talking about how wonderful envy is.
And Margaret's like, she has the best stuff.
The best stuff, great merchandising, great mention.
I love it.
Look, look at that hefty bag and the trash can.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Do you buy any chance, sell cosmetic bags made out
of elephant nuts, sacks?
Have you heard of those yet?
They're the next big thing. We're going to be celebrating them at my ball.
I'll tell you one thing, you know, anyone who comes in here and buys a dress from
from envy, they're never going to be caught by the fashion police, which was Joan Rivers
show.
Oh my god, Joan Rivers, she was a friend of mine.
I went to a place like a thousand times.
We're the best, very close.
Very close.
Yeah, well, what would Joan say?
What would Joan do? It's time to jump to the dance. It's excellent. You know, and my time is excellent too. Yeah, what would Jones say? What would Jones do? It's time to jump. It's excellent.
You know, and my time is excellent too.
You know what? Like that's what I'm saying right now.
W W J B. What would jump do?
I mean, I think it's amazing that so many Americans have that.
What would Jones do on their cars?
You know, on their risks.
That was funny. That was a classic match right there.
Everyone.
Jones would probably say this exact same thing that I would say.
So, Mueller, she's like speaking to M.V. I'm not sure if you're going to be able's been closed down for a year and a half.
And then I was like, I was like looking for her.
It was gone.
Now you're on CISO, also closed down.
So she, Daniel, was like, well,
I think I understand what the problem is.
I think it's that she feels that she brought you in
and you could have maybe taken her side a little bit,
which Danielle being the voice of reason
is absolutely fucking hilarious.
I don't know what Kuku Land this show was filmed in this year,
but I'm loving every second of it.
And she goes, yeah, but she, I got it, I got that.
But she behaved over the top. She said to me. Fuck you. She said to me
You know, but I'm so gonna invite her because I can move on like my ass crack is sweating right now like a trucker on a marathon
Anybody else by the way classic match, you know the thing is you know, I get over things so quickly
I just wish she would understand that like I well, I don't know why she can't get over things quickly. Like, look how quickly I got over.
When she said, go fuck yourself,
look how quickly I got over it.
That it only took me, you know, 18 hours to not be mad.
Although admittedly, I did call a soggy flico
when I was still mad at her.
So I guess I don't get over things quickly.
You know what, I'm a plexing, I'm a puzzle.
I'm classic match.
What am I supposed to get over a brilliant joke
the same way I get over a fuck you?
I don't think so.
That wouldn't be classic. That wouldn't be classic. That would be some kind a fuck you. I don't think so. That wouldn't be classic.
That wouldn't be classic. That would be some kind of new march. I don't even understand.
You know, it's a classic joke throw throw and get cake across the floor. That's hilarious. I'm sorry,
it's hilarious. So she's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm a bigger person. So I'm going to
call her right now on the speaker phone from MVP with all with all the Eelist. Okay, if she doesn't like that, she's not
going to like anything. So she calls her and she's like, hello, this
is classic minds. Okay, please do not operate your phone operating
system right now. Is this is like iOS classic badge, okay,
module, West, this is like you went to new match and then he
didn't like the way it tasted.
It's nowhere back to Classic Marge and it's calling you right now.
Like if you want to go back to, if you want to get a new fangled
Marge where you can download apps, okay fine.
But this is Classic Marge with this typical strange old phone call, okay?
Would you believe it goes?
Look, she's laughing so hard you can't even get a sound at listen to that silence.
She just she can't she's laughing so hard
The timing is magnificent like honestly so funny so funny right now classic merge
Man, look I just wanted to tell you we're having a ball for elephant not that cosmetic bags
It's all the rage this summer
So would you like to come Siggie? I'd love to have you and Siggie's like oh well
Huh classic I have to decline, okay?
So much happened to Boca, but I hope your party
is a huge success.
I hope that you have cakes that bounce.
Pfft.
I hope you sterilize the floor,
so that way when you throw the expensive cake on it,
you can still eat it off the floor,
unlike at a restaurant where they would never think to do such a thing, because they wouldn't
normally have those sort of animals at their tables.
I hope that you have some bulletproof glass surrounding the cake, like they have in a
check cashing place, so that no one can get to the cake and throw it on the floor of your
new ball, bro.
And Marge is just like, uh, really?
Seriously, you don't think we could just get past this?
And she's like, I know.
You know, and then we go to commercial and we come back and it's still SIGGI going,
I know.
Look, I feel like you slided me and you didn't care about your friend SIGGI.
And on top of that, you're calling me SIGGI.
So the next to the call, Margaret's like, can of the call Margaret's like can I just say one thing?
Can I just say one thing? She's really got to grow up. Okay, you know what?
Like you know, you know, I'm gonna appreciate a classic mod if you don't grow up. Okay. I'm sorry
I won't just have to grow up here like if we're gonna be here in an envy boutique
Okay, like everyone needs to be grown up. Okay, cuz you get large margin your presence and she's making some perfectly timed jokes, okay?
I love how she hangs up to you cuz she because she's not even gonna fight with Ziggy.
She's like,
songy, okay, okay,
I hope we can get past Dick click.
No, you know what?
We have to rename it.
She's not Salgy Flicka.
She's signing off Flicka.
I said she just signed up the phone call
without asking if I want to.
You know what I'm saying?
She goes, sign off Flicka.
It works, it works.
Think about it. It works. It about it works. It's I know
That classic marriage
So Marge mind's like I don't get this girl. I thought she thinks she owns me. I'm like what the hell
So Danielle of course ever the shitster. She's like, you know, I get it
But that's Ziggy. What about Dolores? Okay, what about to like let's all turn this on Dolores like the nicest person
who hasn't done anything to anybody ever ever ever. I mean her story arc is getting cabinets
and unpacking shirts from the mail. Okay, she's and in fact we go over to Dolores at a
stake house with the Franks as in Frankie and Frank and there's they all sit down and Dolores
like she's sitting right next to Frankie and she's like's they all sit down and the Lord is like what she's sitting right next to Frankie
And she's like so what do you think and Frankie? Huh? Are you laughing at me? What are you laughing out?
What are you laughing at is it you laughing at me because I don't know how to open up my mail? Huh? No? Oh, you're not laughing at me. Oh, I'm sorry
Like this what are you laughing at me because I have like a little dried pasta on the shirt that I folded on the counter
That's somebody spilled dried pasta on. Huh?
I guess these things happen one more way.
You know, I got a lot to think about boo.
And Frank's like, what?
Why would he be laughing?
She's like, because listen, Frank, OK?
The kids aren't babies anymore.
When you leave, they're just like, wah, wah, wah.
OK?
It's 18 years later.
OK?
They speak now, Frank.
OK?
They make fun of their mother now, Frank.
Now, Frank, open your mouth. Here comes the plane. OK? Ready? Here we go. Frank, they're now Frank. Okay, they make fun of their mother now Frank now Frankie open your mouth here comes the plane
Okay, ready here we go Frank. They're not babies anymore. Okay, open up the hanger open up the hanger Frankie
Frankie ordered a cowboy steak. I mean what mother is prouder than me
So yeah, Frankie's like he's basically like dad you have OCD like it's too much
I can't deal with it. He's like, he's basically like, dad, you have OCD, like it's too much, I can't deal with it.
And he's like, me?
I got OCD.
Could you show in your napkin, please?
Thank you.
You got something on your nose.
No, it's not a joke.
You really do.
Goddamn it, kid.
You're in a baritone.
So this, you know, I hate calling anybody a bad parent
because like I ain't ever puttin' in the work.
And also, this seems like a very happy family. Like, I love to see a family like laugh together and have fun. I don ain't ever putting in the work. And also this seems like a very happy family.
Like I love to see a family like laugh together and have fun.
I don't care what happened in the past,
but Frank doesn't know how to hold a fork.
Okay.
I mean, Franky doesn't know how to hold a fork.
Franky doesn't know how to hold a fork.
He's holding it like a gorgah.
Like it's like a one fisted like just stabbing the cowboy steak.
Yeah, you're not killing your own steak, Franky, okay?
He'd look like he was trying to climb a mountain. He was like
But it wasn't climbing anything. Give him time. It's only been 18 years. Let's go back to the Chuchu
You know what you know he thinks he thinks it's a vampire and I think it's very bold of him that he wants to kill the vampire protect his parents
I think he's a wonderful child
We get some real silver over here?
So they just have like a nice little time.
And Frankie wants to bring his girlfriend to college
and they're like, it's never gonna work out don't do it.
He's like, you don't know.
I'm not like dad, dad likes to surround a bunch of girls.
I'm a one woman sort of guy.
Like yeah, yeah, don't do it.
Yeah, don't do it.
So Mel and Joe, Joe's like, this is one of us. Yeah, don't do it. Yeah, don't do it.
So Mel and Joe, Joe's like,
I don't know if I can tolerate calling her Mel.
It's just like my abbreviation.
It just sounds like too, it makes her sound too,
like someone I'd want to hang out with.
Yeah, sometimes I'd kind of prefer that she was Mel
from Mel's diner instead of Melissa Gorgah.
He would be the best housewife. He's just like rumpy, he's like ding ding.
Well, this is Melissa and Melissa and Joe in the morning.
Yeah, so basically Joe was coming up with words to put on the mausoleum for his mom.
And he's talking about how he goes there and when he goes, he starts to cry.
And she's talking about how the pain never goes away,
but you have to make yourself busy
and you have to be there for your family
and start living.
Yeah, it's really sad.
It was really not that sad.
It was not that good to say without.
Yeah, he's like, well, it's gonna say,
amore, post-sure, campantos, sure, lacroy,
pizza sauce. I'm like, wait a minute, you're just looking at this. You're just looking at brand of Italian words. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. and Ziggy have lunch and you know this is going to be like the classiest place we've been to so far this year because they have those runner Christmas lights to light everything
and they're just like hanging off the shelves.
I mean, it's no rails with their patented rails teeny, but it's pretty good.
And by people are like, well, what they had Christmas lights.
Why do you have to take every petty little thing?
It's not that they have Christmas lights.
They're using those things that you use behind the glass
to kind of light for cheap.
You know what I mean?
The runners.
And they're just like up with them tax.
I don't know why it bothered me so much.
It shouldn't.
The wood, the wood shelving for the wine racks or whatever.
It's so nice.
I'm like, guys, all this takes is a little bit of masking, OK?
OK.
It's New Jersey, OK? Like their best contractor is the Jonas brother that didn't make it.
Joe. Remember he made Kathie's living room or something?
Yes. Jonas. Oh my God. How could I ever? Kevin. Kevin.
Yeah. The quitter Jonas. The one who's like, you know what? I do need a day job, Dad.
Oh, you quitter. So yeah, Trees.
Trees like, thanks for the, I mean, a lot.
Because last time my stores used it and walls, okay?
Yeah.
So they actually have a perfectly fine conversation.
They hash it out.
Because at this point, Trees is used to doing this.
She knows how to apologize.
After all these years, she finally figured out. She's like, well, I guess it drinks is with sort of a lot for me and I wasn't
really thinking and like, and so like, I wasn't like saying the things I'm going to say.
But then the next day's used with like, you know, you're so buzzed and you told me how
to like act and I thought that was strange is because you didn't have any drinks as he's
like, well, you know, as my friend, It was a lot to take in and everything. So eventually, Trees, like, I was a little bit bubbleer.
In my town, bokeh!
So then Trees would like you.
So then Trees would like you.
So if that thinks you didn't mean, and I threw things,
I didn't mean.
I was like, say you didn't mean to throw the cake.
I was like, is that how it works?
Like, are they on the same level? You said things you didn't mean. I threw a cake. I didn't mean. Yeah, a cake. I was like, is that how it works? Like, is there on the same level you said things you didn't mean I
threw a cake? I didn't mean. Yeah, cake Teresa is just so
used to the topology by now. I threw things like that and
mean. And she's like, okay, you I get, but Margaret, Margaret
could have picked up the phone like this. And she picks up her
phone and she puts it to her ear. She's like, hello, yes, I forgive you, Margaret.
It was horrible, Margaret.
Thank you for thanking me, Margaret.
She didn't even do that.
She wanted Margaret to call her about the memorial.
So she's like, yes.
She's like, she didn't even call me about that.
I mean, I'm crying and she's saying,
soggy, syga, I want to take her and pull those big
tails out of the head I swear I swear that would be classic mod right there.
They go through this whole montage it's like it makes it look like Teresa's sitting there
for three hours because every time they cut it's just Ziggy still going off about something else.
Yeah, I mean, Ziggy, Ziggy, think tales tails the party. I can't stand the bitch the way she's
She had a tough side I can't
Tata knots, and now that would be classic March. Who's who's the jump now? She drives around trash can lives
So if I just go I can't stand the bitch
So Trees like I don't know if this is a psychophlica that she's unhinged now when did these ladies get so winter hinges
It's like a couple of remodel jobs and suddenly everybody's under hinges. Kevin Jonas effect
So Trees like no, why don't you come with a part you should come to the party and he's like I hate the fucking bitch
Which is great.
And Jerry's a ghost.
Mom, mommy.
I love the fact that the stupid ass or mark,
soggy flicker, I mean, it's the stupidest joke,
but Ziggy's making such a huge deal about it
that it's gonna stick now.
Now it's like soggy flickers, just gonna stay.
Yes, and they just keep repeating it over and over.
So, this is the speaking of classic march, we go over to Magrath's house and she's in curlers.
And one thing we should mention is, oh, actually, this is before the curlers.
She's just inspecting the house because her house has been going through this renovation
that her husband Joe said would be done.
He said it'd be done in like two weeks, to be fast turned around.
I went down there, guess what, six months later. It's not a fast turn around
You know what's you know what I call it a starting around the classic march right there
So I look at my Joe Joe Joe. I mean Joe. I can't live like this Joe
Like what are you doing here? You know in the ladder right now like we can do you fix this? He's like
Two months at least two months. Okay, you know what you know what I call that not so classic march right there
You know what I call this I'm supposed to be like stylish fabulous. This is not the way it works. Okay, Joe
Joe look you know what I call this I'm supposed to be like stylish fabulous this is not the way it works okay Joe Joe look you know I've got sweet potato waffle fries for this party and you're gonna make me look like I'm not prepared okay
It's like having pigs and blanket but that's blanket okay what do you call this hot dog it's not the same okay I want pigs and blanket
Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life but come on
Someday's parenting is unbearable.
I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt
Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,
oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
What would we do differently?
And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego
in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.
So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about
the hardest job in the world, listen to,
I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon
music or Wondery app.
What would you do if the blankets were like, you know, not warming?
Okay, like what if the picks were cold, still in the blankets?
What do you do now?
You put on the comfort, picks the comfort, it's not a thing, Joe.
Classic Mod right there.
Joe, we've got, we've got mac and cheese in the kitchen, okay?
It's waiting. It's like thanks to the waffle fries. It's gonna be the classic party. Okay, Joe
Like when everybody comes to my house and they say mods nailed it. How come Joe couldn't nail it?
You know what I'm seeing you see what I did there because I said nail while you're holding a nail gum while doing nothing
It's like so many what you want, Joe, but that's classic mod
It's like so many levels Joe like so many Joe's going on there like the timing was perfect
I don't think even laughed at maybe you would laughing in the inside because it was so perfectly time
But like I don't think me understand what's going on here right now Joe. I can't live like this. You're not laughing my jokes
So back the bags
So Melissa and Joe are in the car and she's like, whoa, I am starving. I am so glad you finally want to go to lunch
I am so hungry and he's like, oh, yeah, I am so glad you finally want to go to lunch. I am so hungry and he's like oh yeah, I am so hungry too
Whoa, I just wish it was somewhere to eat. Yeah, I'm really really hungry
Yeah, so they drive up to this like pizza pasta place and they get in and Joe's like so guess what?
I
Like it in here. It's nice, right? I bought it, which is like I feel like they do this every single season So I guess what I just bought a paper shredding business guess what I just bought a box store
Wait, we just sell boxes you want to sit in there like around a bunch of cardboard
So she's like yeah literally happened with Joe with Joe
What's this one? She dies because they they literally got a pizza place remember
Yeah, and then whatever happened to that we never heard too
two Joe's a Melissa and the pizza place, remember? Yeah. And then whatever happened to that, we never heard. Two joes of Melissa and the pizza place.
So my stomach is growling like hunger.
This is basically just an obvious money laundering joint.
Every pizza place is, we all know it.
That's why there's so many in New Jersey.
Joe's like, hey, look, this would be a good place.
Look, you got Nikki there.
I know him from back in the day. He's a chef's a chef. This guy's a chef and they cut to this guy
And it's like oversized pull the walking in circles in the kitchen like what up with that spoon
And he looks like he's already wanting to kill Gorgah because you know Gorgah is like you know what we make this better
Garlic yeah, there's already garlic in it. I write it's tomato sauce. Yeah, yeah, but what I'm saying like the way we do it
You know the way my mind does it garlic more right? It's tomato sauce. Yeah, yeah, but what I'm saying, like the way we do it, you know, the way my mind does it,
garlic, more garlic, it's like, shut up Joe.
Okay, this guy's not saying, he's out of his mind.
Welcome to the restaurant.
To be fair, the pasta that he served looked delicious.
And I was, have you ever seen a pasta
that hasn't looked delicious?
Yes, I actually have, because believe it or not,
I, you know, I obviously like pasta, but but you know pasta and red sauce does not like make me like excited
You know like a lot of people they see a lot of people they see pasta and red sauce
They're like mmm comfort food, but I'm more of like I like a white like a white sauce
So I like other pasta's more
But when I saw that pasta in that red sauce, I was like, I am ready for some pasta in red sauce.
I'm sure for this pasta in red sauce
also because you put some green on top.
I think that always.
That's what we love.
The green is the green, it looked like elevated.
You know what restaurant I used to love?
And I don't know if it still exists,
but Pomodoro, I loved Pomodoro.
Oh, it meets you.
The one that was in the target or outside the target.
It was like, you could get like a nice like $12
Played of pasta that was really delicious. It wasn't you didn't feel like you were at like Olive Garden
It was tasty. It was elevated for what it was bring it back bring back Pomodoro
No, don't say that because now it's the hot and juicicroffish
Well, I love what does that you back in that place too? It doesn't have to be back in that space
I'm just saying just bring it back in life. I'm surprised that you really love that I love it too
I love Pomodoro and in fact I used to go there like every week
Maybe multiple times a week and when Joe Fos and I were roommates because Joe Fos
Co-founder of TV guys and are when how we all know each other we used to go to Pomodoro all the time
Or how we all know each other we used to go to Pomodoro all the time
Man, I'm telling you I lived in that I went there the opening day. I met the owner of all the Pomodoro's I met the king of so funny. I went there
I went there always on my days off
I would go to Ross and then that target center and before I went into Target
I would go to Starbucks and then I would go shopping target for an hour and then I would go to Dandruff Pomodoro
And they serve a little bread basket with the little sauce
severity not the sauce of air day the um they had an oil and the oil and uh
they there was oil vinegar and then there was like a basil one too yeah but I
would all the time all the time I would go to all the Pomodoro's I went to the
ones and up in like the barrier I went I was looking to be we beach. We weren't blindsided, okay, in a Pomodoro.
They didn't come out and they were like, they're like,
okay, you should probably stop this Pomodoro.
They're like, hey, B side and J unit.
Congratulations, you now own this Pomodoro.
Congratulations, congratulations,
you're a gay guy who likes pasta.
You know what, you get the large amount of water for excellence,
okay, because there's no one like you, okay,
cops, I don't know what that is
so this is a good actor and I cannot tell if she's really surprised I can't believe
that she would actually be surprised and he's doing the sun camera I mean I
think that she would know but she's really making me buy it but she gets
mad because she's like you're blindsided me you know we had this whole thing
with envy and I told you every step of the way remember how you would not would knock your dragon knuckles and tell me that I'm just a woman,
remember?
And then now here we are and I didn't even know anything and he's like, yeah, but you
know why?
Because it gives my father something to do.
Like he can see the recipes.
He can come in for three or four hours a day.
I'm like, okay, now you're using your dad's sadness to get past a fight.
I can't with these people. So then we go to Teresa in New York City with her lawyer and they go, I love like the
the scenes that they're in every season of Teresa meeting with her publishers in New York City.
It's such a culture clash because they sit down at a table and they come and they're like, hi Theresa, how are you?
Oh, they're like, so you have a new book.
She's like, yeah, I think I'm gonna call it standing strong.
Oh, that is a great title.
Wonderful work, wonderful.
Yeah, I was thinking like we could be doing the tree pose
because you know my name is Tree, you know?
Oh, the word play I mean is this
is this Teresa Drew Dice or is this Joan Diddy and I can't tell will you be
punching the tree or no no no yoga's I can't see their like yogurt you're
a yogurt now yeah you guys can have the sand for me all right can't see my plans
the Dartmouth Club tonight we are getting drinks tonight at Applebees.
So she's like, she's like, now listen, tree, may I call you tree? It's just so adorable.
Tree, listen, last time in your book, you went, you went deep, you went deep, I guess.
I think you can go deeper. So for instance, in the last book, you wrote a chapter on how you like brushing your teeth.
This book, we wanna hear how you cry every morning
when you wake up.
Is that okay?
But I went deepses.
And you know, like what about my story
about stocking the refrigerator?
That was deepses.
I brushed my teeth, deepses, Lee's.
She, Teresa's response is funny to you
because she'll try and class it up for these ladies.
Well, first of all, we have to mention there's a gay in like a a green and black
He's dressed like a circus suit like a circus suit. Not just like that. It looks like the tent
And they like wearing one of those military like it's a military hat, right?
I'm happy that it was just like a gay trying extremely too hard
And I don't know whether to applaud him for it like he's thinking like I don't know
He was said to his friends, you know guys. I'm going on camera tomorrow
What Teresa do you guys real house with New Jersey? How hilarious it would be if I dressed up like a ringleader and did a handle bar mustache and put a stupid cap on like
Yeah, it's like it's fabulous
He's like the guy who's calling people in to see the bearded lady, you know
But Teresa does class it up when she's around classier people because she's like, well, you see the thing
is, I thought I went deep, and then you thought I didn't go deep. And they're like, yes,
well, that's called communication. And you're learning it. So the problem was in the last
book, you had your guard up. She's like, oh, no
That was a chapter on the guard because she was always up
But I was singing this time since I got out of a way you know what I went to the dentist
They gave me a mouth guard so I thought I could write about being God
It's still being guarded but it'd be like my mouth like mouth guards
She's like look here's what we need. We need a draft.
And he's like, I'm drafted girl. Okay, look, your army outfit does not make you part of
the draft gay person. Please just sit there and twirl your mustache. Well, it is, there's
an air conditioner right there. We can send that on if you want the draft. You know, I'll
find a window. Just go, just go deeper. Okay, God got out all right about my pool and then we're not every and we want you to go deeper
out the nut kick in every kindle around the world we heard at the same time
when she's like the last book went to number two this time let's hit number
one okay how did this happen that the only people in America reading anymore
are like real housewives people I don't know how did this happen that the only people in America reading anymore are like real housewives people?
I don't know how did that happen?
Like doesn't reading make you smarter?
Like don't smart people read more?
I just don't understand!
Did they say the New York Times bestseller list?
Because if they were talking about like Penny Saber bestseller list, that makes more sense.
I think it was the New York Times bestseller list.
Yeah, it wasn't like the Amazon Kindle under a dollar list.
You know, and look, I'm not taking away from anybody
who's been on that.
Well, then it's official.
We're going to write a book because if Teresa
is getting to number two, we need to get on there also.
Let's make a tree pal.
Tree pal.
We'll call it tree pal.
Tree pal. I bet in Ronnie. No, We'll call it tree pales As I've been in Ronnie
No, we'll call it tree pros get it. Oh
We're gonna elevate the city housewives books, okay, so now we speak of elevated concepts
We then go to migrates house it's time for her party and she like walks into the living room area
Where there's what is the bottom that she has?
Which is still totally under construction is like okay you know that
the room needs this this one is confetti okay this one is confetti i'm like
wow this is
it sounds like
you know i i mean i've heard that Alexander McQueen did the same thing
during his living days
and i think that i think that i mean i know chanford he just loves a pinwheel
that she's basically opening up five guys.
Yeah.
Or do you fear, I mean, if you nuts and throw the shells
on the ground, to be fair, her room is.
It's under construction.
So I understand it's just a mask it,
but the place looks like a junior prom.
There's like mile hour on the walls, like streamers.
She would open up five guys and be like,
this was the five guys, but we changed it to a one guy,
because it's just very jealous of the other guys
It's classic match so
You know what you know what I can't find my spanks and the other oven isn't working
Yeah, I'm not this class
I'm a shaking wreck. I have static. I can't find my spanks and I can have a mental blow at any second
I'm not just not in the mood. Okay. I've got static. They went that look at don't touch me
You're gonna get zapped. Okay. You got got static you can get zapped by me and my humor
Okay, that's you know, that's a good joke. It's a good joke. I static. Oh
Hello classic man
It has been an hour and a whole and nothing is on that inside
Avan hey Joe come fix the ovens come and Joe Joe fix the ovens here
Just like if you ever even used these?
She goes, what, I hate their French fries once.
I use it for my stiff as mac and cheese, it's delicious.
It was both hilarious, but also when we saw the food,
she's literally heating up waffle fries
from literally the pork caterer.
Pork caterer is like mortified
because the caterer is staring there like,
oh my god, I can't believe this is my moment on TV
and she ordered waffle fries. And on top of that, they're not it being a come out well because the caterer's staring. They're like, oh my god. I can't believe this is my moment on TV And she ordered waffle fries and on top of that
They're not even gonna come out well because the oven's not working
so so while they're picking up oven crisis
It's like makeup time and everyone's all the ladies are getting their makeup done and over at the gorga's house
Joe's like, I don't want to go to gym. I don't want to go to the party
He's some time for the restaurant Some Melissa's all annoyed because yeah,
you should be like, it's a new friend and she could be great for my business. I need
support. And he's like, yeah, who wants espresso? It's what Italians do. Expresso. Expresso.
We're going to serve lots of espresso at my pasta shop. So then the makeup gaze like,
Melissa's like, what else are you gonna show?
Show your abs Joe and the gaze like,
what else are you gonna show?
Just say in.
I was very supportive of that.
And I thank a gay for finally doing that to Joe Gorgah.
But he didn't show anything.
I love Joe's little naked scenes.
He's one of the only people on Bravo that I don't scream
first whenever they have their shower scene
with the season.
Yeah, he's hot.
He's hot.
I love a crazy-eyed little guy who works out, but has a big one.
So now the party is starting and Margaret still has her curlers in and people are starting
to show up and she's like, she's hugging everyone.
She's like, who could be the guest in rollers?
You know, only the march, only the march, she just does that.
Only man. No, she's the March. She's now the March. She's now given herself a definite
Oracle and we hear somewhere from Springfield
You know what this maroon for this room for two mages here, okay?
You know what like your hair your hair is tall my hands and big deals. That's's great about mages right now. That's you know classic mag both times times to personally
I think I'm more March Simpson than you
So March is like calm Marco Taka
Mago Mago is me mad. No, no classic march. Okay. Yeah. Hi honey. Yeah, look
Mago. I love you. I need you. You're not going to believe it.
My oven's a broken. Okay. The waffle fries are wilting on their road. They're just like standing there.
Like it's like they came out from, they came out from the cold and they're by, they're by like a tiny fire.
And they're dripping all over the confetti. They're titting into lockers at this point. Okay.
Jody said I should call you and you live down up the street. Can you just save my life right now, Margot? Okay. Great.
Thank you so much. Margot, it's wonderful. It's wonderful thing
So while they're fear while Margaret while Margaret talking to Margaret
Mom, Margaret Jess is talking to Margaret Tekka then we go over to Seaguse House
where Dolora shows up in Piggtails and Seaguse is basically like
Margaret and a Piggale can go fuck themselves. That's right. We're having a slumber
body. Yeah, we're mocking her. We're mocking Margaret. Like, okay, Ziggy. So they're trying
really, really, really hard and Ziggy and Dolores. So like, we're gonna have our own scene
just at our house. We're gonna laugh the whole time really loudly and do facial masks and
then laugh really loudly and then do a dance
like little girls and just so how hard we're laughing.
Now I felt a little sad because Dolores was saying how Sigi was such a good friend to her
last year and really detected the sadness and she's and Dolores basically says that she'll
have Sigi's back forever no matter what and I don't know about you, but I had some flashbacks to Vicki Gunnville's in skipping out
on I think it was Megan King Edmund's party to hang out with Shannon at that bar because
Shannon was not invited and Vicki was like, well fuck them.
I'm going to hang out with you, Shannon.
And they're like, this is what true friendship really is about, David.
Yeah, and that's also, wasn't that the same dinner?
Wasn't that the Brooks dinner or was that a different dinner?
Where they went on the double date and she started bringing up Brooks. No, that must have been a different
No, this was a whole this was like around like when Megan had just shown up and and she was fighting with Shannon
And Shannon was like so Vicky was like I'm gonna hang out with Shannon and they had more fun
Everyone was bored of Megan's house, but Vicki had more fun.
And then people left Megan's house to go to Shannon.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.
And it's what's always get cited.
Like, remember Shannon, when Vicki was by your side,
when you were all alone, you know,
that's like the famous thing that people
cite on their friendship.
I was just trying to help her find a doctor.
So now we're seeing that here with Dolores and Ziggy.
I'm like, I hope this one turns out better.
Yeah, and we're also still seeing this on Orange County because Tamara did it this year.
The stay was Shannon because Shannon didn't want to go to the other party, even though Tamara
didn't really either.
Because Shannon's always finding parties to miss and try and have her own fund, her own
fund despite the party, but
she never does have fun.
She always just sits there like, well, this is fun.
So, she's having a great time.
So, Sigi and Dolores are just like hanging out.
They decided to put on a mask, but I felt it was a slightly problematic mask because these
women have been really putting on a lot of masks lately, but this is the most black-facing
mask we've seen so far,
and I was like,
uh, I feel like we should be moving away
from this mask thing that we're seeing so much on these shows.
Yeah, that's too black-facing. I mean, I know it's not black-facing,
but it looks a little black-facing, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, and it feels like maybe they're selling it
because they're all over the place those black face masks
So I'm not really sure if they're like selling it on their Instagrams
We should do some research, but I'm exhausted. It's a problematic face mask for me. Yeah, it could be for sure
So over at the party
Joyce Joyce so good to see you Joyce Joyce
Look at the beauty have met Jody Maga Joyce Joyce. Hi
Jody Jody
Jody Joyce Joyce knows that March is crazy and
And Joyce knows that Jody knows that the March is in that okay like speaking of like is anybody else have
Hit sweat dripping down the belly button because seriously. I'm like wet as a wet white
It's very wet down there. You know what it is. It's like you know what it's like down there
It's like soggy flicker down there
soggy magra midsection so
I mean my oven's broken. I mean what's going on here?
This is a classic party confetti in the floor and the oven's broken
What a crazy thing that magos saved it saved the entire party, but you know, it's a fabulous. It is what we do here. So
Yeah, this is when I noticed that they're waffle fries or waffle fries. I was dying. She goes over to the caterer, she's like,
hey, did you see Jowdy? Did you see Judy? Did you see Bubbola? Did you see
my, they need a dervish. Are we okay with your dervish over here? And then you
look down and it's like mac and cheese in a big pan and waffle fries.
What the hell is going on over here and why wasn't I invited? I mean that is my party.
I mean I get it. It's like a quote unquote beach party but I just had some I had some trouble
understanding the fat velocity part about it. Also one thing I noticed, did you notice the way that Margaret greets everyone?
She puts her hands and everyone's shoulder and then she kisses them.
I don't know why, she just kept on doing it over and over again.
She's about to fall into them. She's been like a one person trust fall.
I don't know why. It's not a problem.
You know what you just felt? You know what you just felt?
Unadulter adult rated uninterrupted
Energy from the March from five seconds before I move on okay enjoy yourself love you
You know who taught me how to know who taught me how to say hello to people like this Joan
Oh Joan Rivers that's what I'm talking about I've been to have like a thousand times very very good friends before she passed on
It's where I got this shoulder fur. Okay, tell your friends when I put my hands on you
It's like saying you now you two have a
shoulder fur from the MacroJesis collection. I mean, the Macbeth
collection. So everybody starts everybody starts arriving and
Melissa is the one who brings up the fabulosity, right? She's
like, this house is nuts, like the windows are so tall. I mean,
look at this door. I'm sorry, though, it makes door just
feeling even shorter. Oh, look at this door. I'm sorry, Joe, it makes sure it just feels even shorter.
Oh, this house is perfect velocity.
Okay.
So I actually like the house, by the way,
I actually think it's, I really like how it's like a tutor house
but has a modern wing to it.
So I'm from Texas.
I love an extremely tall door.
That's a very Texas thing.
Everyone has like a 30 foot tall door.
Oh my goodness.
I don't know why.
It's like your Alice in Wonderland
who ate the wrong piece of candy every day.
Speaking of Texas, my goodness.
We hung out with Leon Locke on the other night.
For those nails, man, when she says just her hands, wow, my shoulder got all scratched up.
She's like, hey you, every time she broke my shoulder, I was like, ow.
She'll hurt you.
I was like, oh my god, thank god you can trim my you can trim my chest hairs with your nails.
Please see that. She also showed us close-up photos of her flushing bacteria. It was a mess.
She's like, look at this. I was like, let's see. That's why I love her.
She'll show you that and we're like, oh, yeah, no. God, bro. She's like, look at it.
True story. We're not lying.
So, disturbing.
So then, Sigi and Dolores are so bored, we're still trying to have fun.
And they're sitting in these big leather recliner chairs.
And Dolores is like, oh my god, these are ridiculous.
Like, how do you even do these?
And Sigi's like, here's what you got to do.
You got to make them go back like this.
and say he's like, here's what you got to do. You got to make him go back like this.
Ugh!
Ah!
Ah!
Look at that!
What an amazing time exploring the nuances
of a Bach lounger.
Ha!
Ha!
They're acting like going back,
and the Dolores literally says,
you see, this is way better than any old party
that that horse throwing, or whatever she says.
Let's put that one when the planetarium now whoa
so um and think it's like well I hope over at that party they're reclining
comfortably funnily getting the skin so awfully and I hope they're standing up
for us if anybody says anything bad and Dolores is like well after all we've
done for everyone else they better look what was that again yeah good luck with that if
there's ever been a crew of people who do not defend people it's the cast of real house on New Jersey
not kidding if there if ever there was a cast of deserters yeah so over over
making a bunch pops so yeah the the ladies over at the party they could they move into the library because production is like a tool out here
You need to go to a quieter room
So they go into like a library room and they're all sitting there and now
Teresa is annoyed that Dolores isn't coming because she's now saying that Dolores is Siggy's minion and up Siggy's ass
I'm like no, it's not so much that she's up Siggy's ass. She just doesn't like Margaret
Which I think it's too very important dist, or one is distinction, that's important.
Well, you know Teresa is the same as she's always been.
She only thinks about who treats her the best.
Yeah, exactly.
She's like someone else's eyes.
Now, also they're in a library, hilarious.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
So Dolores is like, they actually might not be in the library at this point, but forgive us if we're not totally in a library hilarious. Yeah, that's hilarious. So Dolores is like, they actually might not be
in the library at this point, but forgive us if we're
not totally out there.
They go to the library, I wrote it too.
They go to the library to talk only in Jersey,
do people say, hey, you know what, we need to go talk.
Let's go into a library.
It's like, that's not what libraries are for ladies.
Yeah.
So Margaret's like, well, would you believe it?
Does the craziest thing ever happen to me right now in my life?
Okay, I went into my text messages application, and I look and guess what?
Delores sent me a text, and you know what it said?
It said, okay, you know what?
I'm not coming because there's too much things went down, and you know what?
It's a loyalty thing. Something I'm sure you're not familiar with.
I'm going to believe this thing. This is like not classic.
Okay, this is not classic mod right here.
I don't understand this thing. This is like not classic. Okay, this is not classic. I'm out here. I don't understand this. Dolores. And then Dan yells like, Oh, now
Dolores, are you sure that's not SIGGI? It's like Jesus, Dan, one minute she's talking about
the other one. You're like blaming the other one. Then she's talking about the opposite
one. You're like, it's the other one. Like Daniel is only happy if she's getting someone
mad at every single person who's not there.
Exactly.
Meanwhile, Siggies at home teaching Dolores some weird like pseudo-dab kind of dance.
She's like, you raise your hands up this way.
And then you wave that way.
Up here, wave to the side.
And then you duck because there's a cake of comin'.
Ah!
So then back at the party, it's Joe's talkin' to all the other husbands and he's like,
whoa, what's up with these ladies these fucking women right like the crazy?
It's like blah blah blah. I'm glad I got bulls instead of whatever yeah Joe's like I'm I'm glad I peace standing up
I'm just glad I got balls, you know, I love them. I'm glad I don't have a vagina. I'm glad I got a penis
I could rub one out right now. What do you say you guys all go upstairs
and maybe rub one out together?
What do you think?
I don't know.
I'm sort of feeling it.
Like a feeling of laughter.
No, no, no, no.
It's what dudes do.
So in the library, Teresa being very helpful
after her lunch was Ziggy.
She's like, I'm at what Ziggy.
And she says she hate this fucking bitch.
Thanks. That's very helpful. So then it just basically
cuts back and forth. Yeah. So Margaret's Margaret's Margaret's just like
they tell her like why don't you send a text that one just send a text
to Siggy's like okay I'll send a text you know I get over things very quickly
you know it's classic much to get over things very very quickly. So
Mark she sends it and um Siggy's at home which is like oh okay hold on okay, hold on a second, I got a text, maybe it's from Joshua!
No, it's not from Joshua. Oh, it's from Siggy. Huh, I mean, it's from Margaret. Margaret just checked me.
I'm like, what? I mean, checked in on me. Excuse me.
So, because it's like, it's like, checking someone is very different from checking in, and's basically what Margot was doing Margot was basically Margaret sent actually I thought a pretty nice text saying like I'm sorry you're not here at this classic match potty
We having great time we miss you. I hope we can get over this. Let's get together and talk it over and Dolores goes
That was the most insincere fucking text I ever heard
Functury okay, it's perfunctuary.
And Sticky's like, what is perfunctuary?
It means she has to, okay.
Like now it's awkward, how about it was awkward
when we were having raw juice while use people
with like, you know, having a memorial on a beach.
How about that talk, right?
And Sticky's like, well, look,
it's the first time she's ever been nice to me. I went to myself to go to a tina. I love dynas. And she's
like, you oh, no one nothing. Okay? You oh, no one nothing. Look, all things are pointing
to the fact that mom that March is, is a sneak and she wants to take Ziggy's place in
the group. Yeah, as well. That's true too. So Siggie is like no I'm gonna text it back like okay let's meet at the diner but I don't put exo Siggie
because that's phony no exo exo gossip Siggie. I'm a de loresist man she's like I
skipped a party like now you're just gonna make up with them and then I'm gonna
be behind. Yeah she's like that text made me more mad than the act itself I'm like
okay de lores settle down. So Margaret gets and she's like, that text made me more mad than the act itself. I'm like, okay, Dolores, settle down.
So Margaret gets and she's like, you know, that's really big of a big ass issue. She was having a stage five.
Let me tell you something. Stage five, get it. She's like a hurricane. Too timely, too soon. I'm sorry.
Stage five, that girl's an orange alert.
So the next day after this whole party thing, we go to the 10-of-flight classic Dynah off of, I don't
know, Garnet Say turnpike, New Jersey, like New Jersey Road.
Garnet, it's just like a dump truck boulevard.
Yeah, it's like between a truck stop and like an outlet mall.
We all know this Dynah.
Yeah, so it's like it's rainy out... there's something about this this diner meeting that
inspired them both to wear pink jackets
of course
magretz was where she was she was a big feathery jacket it was like you know
it's a classic match classic matches lots of feathers everywhere
well hers was like the dirty shaggy dog hers wasn't pink i don't think it was
like this like dirty gray you know the shaggy dog is not a mystery the shaggy dog
movies well there's a shaggy dog story which is a big long
story but there was a Disney movie called the shaggy dog where I think a guy
turned into a shaggy dog yeah well it's funny because I thought it was a
gray jacket also but then in certain light it looked pink but who knows
well that's what you need to go take your goddamn long hair and shag jacket to get washed, okay?
Maybe it's hyper-color, you know, classic match.
Classic match.
So she comes in first as the shaggy dog and she's trying to get her umbrella between the
vans.
She's like, I can't do it.
I already I knew.
I was like, this is going to be a classic fucking scene.
Starting with umbrella drama. I'm upset that I somehow miss the umbrella thing
I think I was already like writing down like pink jackets must mention that on the podcast
She's just like scratching two delivery vans for different money laundering pizza joints at the same time
I'm like how about you just leave people's cards alone Margaret, okay? How about that here?
So she comes in and she she's like I'll just have some water with lemon that's so much.
I can add whatever I want to it.
Who's gonna complain?
No one.
No one would ever thought to put lemon in water.
It's like a very original thing.
It's like very much like Beth Collection.
It's fabulosity, but it's very simple.
Like two ingredients.
What a lemon.
I love it so much.
I've great rich ones.
I've seen Jones house.
She did it through the end of the life.
Water and lemon.
You heard it from here first. I learned everything from Jones. Great, but you want to know how she did it through the end of the life. Water and lemon.
You heard everything here first.
I learned everything from Joan. What put lemon and water?
You never, you never had a water, more refreshing than that.
I'm telling you right now.
So Sigi comes in and you know, Sigi is like morbidly depressed because she
doesn't come in like, hi, hi, Joe! Hi, Maryann!
Hi!
This is my Diner!
Meet me at the SIGGI Diner!
I'm joking!
Hi, Joe!
I went to prom with him!
So, she comes in and they're sitting at the Steiner table.
Everyone's already looking at them like, oh Jesus.
You know, it's like the housewives, cameras.
Everybody's totally disapproving.
They keep showing this old lady who's like,
I'm gonna send back my grits to these ladies,
even start during my brunch.
So Ziggy's like, hello, after Boca. I was very very hard because Margaret's like we miss
Yeah, we miss. Yeah, guess what you miss waffle fries mac and cheese. I don't know been it was not
Siggy's acting like she just came back from four tours in Afghanistan
It was dramatic
I'm gonna be profiled in cereal, which is a new podcast about kicks cereal.
I almost couldn't come here and face these waffle fries. After all of those roadside waffle
bombs, I just went it's like okay, Siggie, calm down over there. My hand was permanently
maimed when I reached out for a rock and five waffle fries exploded out of it!
Don't even get me started on how much anti-mame hurt my feelings.
Well, those years ago, so I wanted to do with bringing cake to the good people of Afghanistan
and you know what they did? They said, get the hell out of here, you crazy bitch.
did they said get the hell out of here you crazy bitch. I got back from that vacation and I learned that I cis to credit for the entire planning of it. They
beheaded my cake. So Margaret is Margaret's like oh yeah you know I don't
understand the depth of the anger. So maybe you could tell me,
by the way, she's ordered like an omelet
with mushy avocado and cheese,
like string cheese on top and like muffin crumbles.
I don't even know what the hell this thing was,
but it looks delicious.
It looks delicious.
And it looks like,
it's like cheese fries, cheese fries, table nine,
table nine.
So Sigi tries to play. You know that's why everyone, you know that's why everyone was looking at them so angrily
They're all like like crows on the side of the road
Just like hovering over their food before Ziggy steals a plate and brings it to her table
I brought this I took this new lady down there. Her name's Sue. We go way back five minutes
So he's like is someone gonna pay my jack
Someone stole my cheese fries. So Ziggy's like here's the problem after that night in
Boca you didn't think to call me to code the beach to memorialize the recess
Well, I realized once I got to the beach that you weren't there. It didn't even join on me
Didn't even click you know, but why is it on me? Why isn? Why is it on me to call and not everybody else? I don't get
it easy. You know, like, like, I do a very, I do a very good thing. I put a whole
like memorial together. Why is it on me to do it? I'm like, because you're the one who
arranged my memorial and no one else knew is going to be more than just like stupid
beats yoga.
Yeah, Maro and Ziggy, yeah, and Ziggy's like, well, because it was a friend I introduced
you to. And she goes, yes, to and she goes gas why so big deal
So big deal. This isn't high school
Look, I'm leaving a heart shaped imprint on this booth because my ass crack is sweating so much
What's a big deal like honestly listen? This isn't high school. So actually it is. This is where I got my diploma in the stiner
That's why everyone in here saying hi Chad I Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so what? Okay, and she's like, you're right. You're right. It's no big deal. Why is it a big deal?
I don't know. Is that a big deal? No, it's not a big deal. Okay. Thank you for my cheese fries.
Not a big deal. It's not. And she's like trying to have a fit, but Margaret won't just stop smiling
and continuing to talk and saying it's not a big deal. Yeah. She's like basically trying to
brainwash Ziggy. And it actually is kind of working.
Yeah, because she's like, I feel like action a weird way they were communicating very clearly
to each other. They were speaking each other's strange language. Because the Margaret, you know,
Ziggy's like the things you guys, the things you said and she's like, when you talk about, you know,
you call the girls classless, you call them trash, you call them ice queens. She's like, but you
called me soggy flicker. She's like, soggy's not bad. What's bad about soggy?
Sacky now that would have been bad like me yesterday when I couldn't find my spanks like who loses?
Spanks, literally I had a category five. I had a category five. I couldn't find my spanks
I was like, what's going on here? I was like, you know what? You know what they're under a pile of waffle fries
Looks it turns out Joe my husband the contractor the guy left my other husband for us
I'm not the best to xwife you've ever met before the guy
I left Joe he takes the entire thing entire chains of waffle fries. No, he does he dumped them on my spanks
I can't even find my office my spanks down to the waffle fries. I'd eat my way to get to my spanks category five
Yeah, the song is not so bad. I mean you said you wanted to fucking kill me and I'm a bitch with pig tails and
Siggy's like well I was hurt
I'm not gonna say the woman who
created the Macbeth collection I'm going to say the bitch with pigtails who I fucking
hate that's not very women empowering when I'm angry I'm not trying to empower you I'm
trying to destroy you I mean what's going on here even this is you know I need I need
to have empowerment with my omelette okay and now I'm getting just like a side of just like bitch right now like you know what like do you hear that?
That was a very good joke. Well timed do you hear it?
Honestly my timing's perfect every single time
You know what you don't walk the walk you don't talk the talk you don't talk the walk you don't walk the talk
Talk walk, you know, it's like walk you want to understand what I mean. I mean that's classic joke
You have a rhyme walk with walk.'s great it's great joke Joe knows he'd be like Joe Jones had to do that one again do that one again
I'm like I can walk walk walk walk and talk
squawk walk and talk just like Joan I put all of my best jokes on note cards
and then I put them in those library tours
and they're in my study right now that's what we go to talk
the light in my bed of athletic you have a hit my study right now that's what we go to talk the line my bed of that lady you have a bit about epilates great so then
siggy's like epilates because the very first of my side general is to stand
up when i was a little kid she did a joke about epilates and general i don't
remember the joke that she's like it's like an epilates out out out out
that's like oh my god this is the funniest woman ever met
that never matter
uh... but uh... so then see he starts doing the kelly Benson on thing you know Oh my god, this is the funniest woman I ever met. Who I never met her. Um, but...
So then, so he starts doing the Kelly Benson on thing, you know?
Except with a fruit, except with a roll-up and a fork.
And going the wrong way, because Kelly Benson
was like, I'm up here, you're down here,
and then she does the scales of justice, up and down, up and down.
But, but, she's like, I'm here, you're here, left, right, left, right, left, right.
She's like, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, rob, yeah, left right, left right, left right. She's like, dong dong dong dong.
Rob, rob, rob.
dong dong.
You see what I'm doing?
It's like, you're kind of doing the mashed potato.
Like, what are you trying to do?
Now look what I'm doing.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look what I'm doing my feet.
You're denying it in the sort of the Roger Rabbit?
Yeah, like you've moved on to the monster mash.
Like I don't even know what to make of it. I think you're doing a stationary, electric slide. Oh yeah, like you've moved on to the monster mash. Like I don't even know what to make of it.
I think you're doing a stationary, electric slide.
Oh yeah, now you're turned fully to the left,
so you're definitely doing that.
So Margaret is just watching her do this weird arm dance.
And she goes,
Is that what you're about?
Is that what you're about?
I mean, the woman who says to avoid toxic people
and she wants to destroy me,
like she's the highest level of insanity
if you wanna know my honest opinion and she tells her,
look, Sikki, you gotta learn to laugh at yourself.
That's what you do.
You think I like that my ballroom's not done?
No, I make a blowjob, Joe with Joe.
Joe with Joe, I get some waffle fries.
I move on.
What's the big deal?
And Sikki's like, I could laugh at myself,
but your timing is bad and timing is everything and that's when that's a mark
Mara goes, you know my timing is fucking perfect. I'm like fucking Joan Rivers. Okay. I'm sorry. It's funny. It's funny
My joking is hilarious
Actually I'm more of a Joan than you
This is great because by the way when she said the Joan Rivers thing
I thought it was like a throwaway line. I'm like, oh no, we're actually gonna go into we're gonna explore this aren't we?
Cuz we're gonna have a who's more like Joan fire. Oh
Sagi flicka is a Joan Rivers line. Okay, you saw you flick as a Joan Rivers line. Okay great great
She goes this is what Joan is
This is where you are way down here, and this is where I am
So like now we're doing the Kelly Benson on treatment
to potential Joan Rivers qualities.
I got it.
And Margaret's like, well, I'm just saying
I've been to parties at a house many times.
Do you know what?
She was actually, yes, I've met at three times.
Okay, she was quite a lot into a million parties.
And she was like, okay, Margaret, okay. You know into a million parties Okay, okay, you know Joe Reva's bad
Okay, I'm just saying you know we talk
Do you get that that was a journalist reference? I mean, you know it's like it would have been funny
Just to give you a better time. Yeah, like my time is perfect. What can I say classic much?
And sticky goes you know what, you need medication.
And Margaret goes, you know, someone who cries so much,
that's your needs medication.
Are you on medication?
And she goes, I am.
I'm on hormone replacement.
I get pellets on my ass.
Would you like to come?
And she goes, now, not yet, but that's amazing.
And then Sikki goes, you have no heart.
I'm like, oh wait, so was that it?
That was actually a sincere invitation, wasn't it?
She was like, listen, we could make it all better if you come and watch me get pellets in
my ass.
I don't think so.
You have no heart.
You devil woman.
And the Laura's just last.
She's like, look, pellet ass look here.
I'm going to tell you the way that it is, is and you're gonna tell me like it is for you.
Okay, like you are, but you don't need another deloris in your life. Like who needs another
deloris? Really? And then Ziggy's response goes, she's like, yes, person. What color is this?
It's obvious that this is yellow, right? And she holds up a lemon. I'm like, I don't even know
what's happening. I maybe should find out like I won pig's fly thing
or like is the sky still up or whatever,
but she's like, oh, if a lemon's still yellow,
then Dolores is not a yes person.
How they like Dolores is not a yes.
Dolores is yellow, yes.
Dolores, you're not, ah.
She said yes then, but she didn't mean it.
Yeah, that is a yellow lemon.
You just made me say yes.
I see what you did there.
What am I?
Dolores now?
It's like Ziggy's not making your point at all.
And Marge is like, OK, look, look, OK, yellow lemon,
I get it.
But look, we talked about you at the party.
OK, we talked about you.
I'm not going to lie.
Like Theresa Melissa, they couldn't even
understand this deep sea that you had with me.
Is this avocado or cheese?
Things change.
How are you when you're eating?
It's not crazy.
She's like, you know what?
It's like they all think the law is to yes or men too.
When we don't understand what's going on with you right now,
like it doesn't make sense.
And then, so then, so then so you just start to cry.
Like don't talk about other people's feelings. How about we talk about all feelings?
She goes, don't tell me what they talk about.
What what you're going to tell me what's it's
to talk about now? Hey, do you want me to change my line to
Ziggy? Ziggy, Sag? No, I'm not going to. It's called Joan
River's Macbeth collection. And that's what it's going to
say. Okay. That's what it's going to say. It's just what's
going to be. Okay? So she's like,
the Margaret tells us, you know,
when Ziggy cries and crooks, it's theatrical,
but in person, it's sad.
Listen, I'm not trying to make a girl cry.
That's not very woman empowering.
You know, I want to be happy.
And like, we just, you know, we, I don't know you about,
I didn't know you as well as I thought,
I knew you and you didn't know me as well. And it's like, we and it's like a dating like that's for true. We're like dating right now
so
Somehow like by a sickie starting to cry they just kind of soften up and like finally
Things relax and just yeah, they're both just obnoxious with each other knowing I just love how they were
This was one of my favorite all-time Jersey scenes. I thought it was so good.
She's like, Siggie goes,
you know, you just don't understand how sensitive I am.
Like, I thought to myself, Margaret doesn't know me.
And she don't.
And guess what?
I don't know you.
Margaret's like, look, I don't wanna hurt you.
Okay, like I'm sorry.
I wanna be funny, which I am.
I mean, I don't care what you say. I'm gonna be funny. My attention is to be funny. And I am funny. I don't want to hurt you okay like I'm sorry. I want to be funny, which I am I mean I don't care what you say
I'm going my attention to be my attention to be funny and I am funny. I don't fucking care
I'm funny. I'm like hilarious aren't you see laughing right now aren't you I'm crying
Just look I don't want to be the girl that brings the girl down. Okay, look what can it be in advance
I'm as smart as I'm gonna always say my things just don't get so mad and sicky goes well
Maybe now that I know, just don't get so mad. And Sikki goes, well, maybe now that I know that,
I won't get offended.
Just, yeah, and maybe I could toughen up a bit, huh?
And she goes, hopefully next time you see me,
I'll have pellets up my ass.
So yeah, it's kind of funny.
One of our listeners said on Facebook
that this is like a rare thing where it's like only
on your jersey,
do they actually sit and eat their way
through their fight, and they weren't even saying it
like a fat, shaming thing or anything like that,
it's that most other shows, someone gets up and storms out,
and here they just were like, no,
well, even though you're saying crazy things,
and I'm saying crazy things,
we're gonna talk our way through it,
and they kind of did, and I actually really appreciated it.
I thought, like I said, I think they were communicating in a strange way. And most other people like
Melissa Gorego have been like, you know what? I don't have to take this from you. I don't
get talked this way by my friends. Why'd I even come yet? I'm going back to my pasta place,
you know? But they were just refusing. Yeah, they were refusing to not be themselves with
each other, which is how you become friends. You know, it's like, okay, Siggy's going to
cry and be over dramatic. You know, it's like, okay, Siggy's gonna cry and be over dramatic.
You know, Margaret's gonna say annoying things is gonna piss her off and then they're
gonna fight with each other and then they're gonna still be friends up after which is a beautiful
friendship.
I cannot wait to see this unfold.
And I love that everybody was gone by the time this finished.
It was a full diner when it started and by the time they've made up everyone's gone.
They're like, well, at least we're happy. You've cleared the entire diner.
And then when they left all of a sudden the camera panned the left and behind a bush was Melissa
Rivers. Also, anybody who's ever waited tables on the East Coast or actually just is from the East
Coast knows that this is really a good relationship because this is how couples talk.
It is.
It's dirty or in New York City.
It is a lot of what you're crazy.
You're crazy and I don't appreciate you calling me crazy.
What are you trying to always make me look bad?
No, you always making yourself look bad.
You're an idiot.
Now I'm an idiot.
Yeah, you're a goddamn idiot.
What are you going to eat that?
Now you can have some.
Okay, thank you. I love you. God, you're a goddamn baby. What are you gonna eat that night? You'd have some okay? I love you God. I'd love you to what a lovely night
It was very funny what just happened here and that is Jersey loves
Yeah, I mean, I think I do suspect that Margaret is like I think she is upwardly mobile
I think she's trying to
Get weasel her way in
and get a spot on this group.
But I actually,
Well, she's already got one.
I mean, she's lary is.
The audience loves her.
She almost single-handedly has changed Jersey around.
I mean, what does Danielle do?
Except go,
I bet,
bitches.
I'm okay with you.
I'm okay with you.
Danielle has, I think she has,
I am Danielle.
I'm not saying she won't do with her. I'm not saying she won't be good on the season.
Don't go in the trash.
I'm saying that so far, Danielle has tried, but no one has
engaged yet.
And Margaret did.
Margaret did.
And she's not only engaging in a fight way.
She's engaging in a way, like, what?
Tell you shut the fuck up because I want to shut the fuck up.
Like, what's the problem?
It's funny.
I don't, I don't, I don't, is obliting from listening to her.
Anybody else?
Anybody.
I don't actually find Margaret to be funny, but I, I, I find her to be animated, which I like.
And she's, you know, it's like I, I, I feel like, you know, last, these, last week, I was like, I hate her.
And this week I, I feel like I like her and I hate her at the same time which is what you exactly what you need and want from a real housewife.
Oh I knew I was gonna love her the second she came out of that Tweety Bird car and like
yanked up her spanks.
Like this is my kind of girl right?
Either way good casting decision great work to the producers who have finally after many
many years and like shorten like abbreviated stupid seasons like tree checks in have finally gotten everything right.
And also congratulations on your good luck.
And Sige, you should be saying thank you too, because it's another season where she's where a housewife never going to work. You're never going to win this one. And also just
Margaret not making it a huge housewife idiotic fight means that Sigi will, Sigi and Dolores
will now be with the rest of the cast, hopefully. And they can just continue fighting together
and having fun. I'm in. And I'm looking forward to next week when Dolores goes off on
Danielle and says, welcome back scumbag. Whatever she says.
Yeah, Danielle is just going to go for anybody she can at this point.
She's like, did you see my new house?
Well, that's what she always did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that brings us to the end of another watch.
We'll crap in.
Everybody.
Yeah.
So, um, tune in tomorrow.
We will be talking about below deck.
And of course, by tickets to our San Francisco show before they are gone.
We love you all.
And I'm going to have to choose fries and waffle fries all together.
I'll write everybody go out there and be less like Joan Demaim.
Okay.
Alright, goodbye everyone.
It's a perfect timing. Perfect timing to end the podcast. Bye.
To do.
Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens. Time it, perfect time for them to podcast by. Tudududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududududud survey.