Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Fall From Grace

Episode Date: January 12, 2018

On the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersy, Siggy's credibility - and body - takes a tumble. Yes, she's fallen, and she can't get up. Come listen to our recap of this disco-inferno...-turned-ambulatory-care saga. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ranchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crapens. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over
Starting point is 00:01:15 at patreon.com slash watch what crapens. That's patreon.com slash watch what crapens. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crapens. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantra Blender podcast. And joining me on this lovely morning
Starting point is 00:01:34 is the one, the only, the hilarious, the lovable, the hugable Ronnie Carrom from trashtalktv.com and the Roast Pricks Bachelor podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Oh, hello! What a lovely intro, Bianne. Oh, well, it's my pleasure. How are you doing on this fine morning?
Starting point is 00:01:49 Good. Yeah. I'm so happy to be here real housewives of New Jersey. He's really come through this year. Bam. It really has. It's revived. It's back, it's back in prime form. Yeah, it's just, it's a great way to kick off this, this day. I've already had a pre-specacular day. I got stuck in traffic, by Mary J. Blige.
Starting point is 00:02:08 So there you go. It's a very early day, sort of day. What's, why is there a traffic jam? Oh, Mary J. Blige. She was getting a star on the walk of fame. And I was just trying to get home from Toyota of Hollywood. And, you know, I don't know. I like, I cannot but feel like there was more drama
Starting point is 00:02:24 in my life because of Mary J. Lodge. Yeah, and it's very fitting for Crappens that on a Crappens day MJ is getting in your goddamn way. Like another MJ, it's a different MJ, but still. Yes, and, you know, I want to give a big shout out to one of our fellow member of our Crappens family. He has a podcast out, and fact it just came out yesterday and this is astounding.
Starting point is 00:02:50 It is the number three podcast in all the podcast universe according to iTunes. Ira Madison, his new podcast. Whoa. It's number three, not unlike TV and film, not on gossip, not on this or that. It's TV, it's number three overall. It's higher than Oprah, okay? Holy mother, Ira. Sarah G's.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Ira, he was a guest on our show. Actually, at this point is about two years ago, but he's come to our live shows, he supports. So we want to support back and not that he really needs it because in one day his podcast is totally a clip star. God no shit. Congrats. I run damn.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Yeah. He's with crooked media. So that's that's, you know, he's he those are good people to have. So anyway, I wrote congrats. Everyone goes subscribe to his show because he's a doll. Even if even if he seems rather by day, he's a doll. He's a biting doll. He's a biting. He's a biting doll. He's a biting.
Starting point is 00:03:45 He's a doll that bites his name is Annemelle. It's very 2018, a biting doll. And also we have a very late birthday wish. To Shuki Katoria. Shuki turned 40 December 19th. Okay. And look what we're doing. We're saying happy 40th birthday in 2018.
Starting point is 00:04:03 But Shuki, your sister loves you so much. Gigi, Gigi and Shooky. We love you both. Happy birthday. Happy late-ass birthday, girl. Yeah, you know, it's not a real birthday until it's been like three weeks later. That's that's when he knows real. So happy belated. You know, I just said when I realized it's my birthday It's always a damn month later where I'm like wait, why am am I depressed? Oh yeah, this is my birthday a month ago. Listen to this segue. December 19th happens to also be the birthday of my childhood friend Whitney O'Lant
Starting point is 00:04:34 and Whitney O'Lant lives in Boston. And in fact, she is coming to our Boston show. That was my transition. You sort of set it up perfectly with that December 19th reference there. So we have. Well, you set me up perfectly with that December 19th reference there. Um, so, uh, we have- You set me up for, I believe in you and me. Whitney, oh Whitney, Bobby Schott.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Oh. So come see me, Ronnie and Whitney. We will all be in Boston. Next week, uh, are showing the 20th of sold out. We will be talking about Real Housewives of New Jersey on the 20th, okay? At that show, we're talking about the latest episode, which will be the first reunion episode, which looks amazing. And then on on Thursday show, which is on January 18th,
Starting point is 00:05:16 we will be discussing the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules. So if you want to hear all our Vanderpump Rules-en-ess live, come to our Boston show on January 18th. Go to watchrocrapins.com to buy your tickets. Maybe even some merchandise if you're feeling it. You could be like Matt Garcia, who just received a whole box of birthday merchandise from us. That is his boyfriend bought, which is so sweet. So anyway, that's the news. PhantomPump Rules recap on Thursday show in New Jersey,
Starting point is 00:05:48 on the Saturday show, watchrocarpens.com for tickets. And now, let's talk some real housewives of New Jersey. Oh my God, Jersey, Jersey, Jersey. I'm throwing myself down the stairs, so I don't have to do this recap. Are you really though? Is that just an excuse to't have to do this recap. Are you really though? Is that just an excuse to not have to do the recap? Look, I'm going to prove it by having a camera crew at the bottom of the stairs.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Hey, camera crew, where were you when she was at the top of the stairs? How did you miss that? How did you miss the Seagull Flickr falling down a staircase? And I love the Bravo universe because people really are fighting online today. Like, did she fall down the stairs on purpose? Did she not fall down the stairs on purpose? I mean, you just gotta love this world, we love it. Um, let's just take a moment to reflect on what a wonderful season of New Jersey this was
Starting point is 00:06:37 and how I feel like we've been rewarded for our patience through terrible, terrible seasons of the show. That now it has finally come back to the holy land of being peak Bravo TV. Yes, guys, it's called season. Season's change. Feeling's changed. Season's change. Nice expose, reference, Ronnie. You see you like.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I'm in a singing mood today. So it started off with this season on the real high-end and in Jeremy and you can tell how good the season was because it started with Hi everybody with Sikki walking into that restaurant in Boca and just screaming at everybody Hi Tina, hi Jeff, I went to prom with him and I think that that was a very very good representation of the season Yeah, I mean who would have thought that stupid cake incident really would have set the tone for the entire season
Starting point is 00:07:34 It was the season was seven eight. I don't know. What is eight? Wow? Yeah, yeah, wow You know, I hope people get back on the Jersey train. I hope the word is out that the show is good again and that you shall be watching again because it was hilarious. Every single episode, something absolutely hilarious went on. I don't think there was a single episode that felt like dumb filler. I just thought it was great. It also helps that it was 13 episodes this season. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Because when it shows in trouble on Bravo, or it's just getting a second chance, or fourth chance, whatever you want to call this one, they'll shorten the season. Yeah. And I think it works like that. It works when you're not watching this, at least a quarter of your year.
Starting point is 00:08:21 It does. And it felt like a full season. I remember when I read that they were doing their reunion, I was like, already, I feel like we're only halfway through the season. But by the time now that the show is ended, I feel like, no, it felt like a full season. It was a good length. I mean, it was about the same length as Dallas, right? I think they're both 13 episodes.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Uh-huh. Felt. It's actually, you know, certain shows like New York, give York, or Vanderpump Rules, give me 20 episodes, because I love it. I want more and more of it. But a nice 13 episode order for something like Jersey or Dallas is perfection. Yeah, no complaints here.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And also if you keep them to 13, you can do every city in the world. Every city in America at least. Get to it. Get to it. Keep adding them on. I don't like when people say, oh, the housewives are dying,
Starting point is 00:09:06 it's all going away. No, it's not. I'll tell you when it's dying. Yeah, I mean, you know, Jezebel tries to get that old, I forget the expression that you would say, I wanna say Battle Axe, it's not Battle Chestnut. Chestnut, Battle Chestnut.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Axe Ground, whatever it is. Like Grind the Axe, whatever it is. Like grind the ax, whatever it is. I know that there's always gonna be some sort of like contrarian think piece that comes out to the guys. The house ones are over, let's just face it. Like it ended a long time ago. When Jill's Aaron left, the franchise left. It's like, okay, you get over yourself.
Starting point is 00:09:40 We're all still watching, okay? Yeah, okay. So thanks for using your source as Jill Zerrim's voice mail that she left here. It's like Gretchen says, a source close to Gretchen says, the housewives are dying. Now everyone's watching Jersey Licious, the reboot. Oh, trust. We will tell you when it's dying, okay? We will tell you. We will change the so titled to something else. We'll be making fun of something else when the time is right. But it till then we've got So we open this episode with the breakout stars of the season.
Starting point is 00:10:20 The March, who's not even classic March. Now She's just the March. Yeah, the March. Well, she's always the March. Okay. But you know, calling her the March is very classic March. Okay. I'm sorry. That's just where it goes. That's the Nomenclature for Classic March and March senior. Okay. They go in the size. I'm so excited to see my dress. She could go crazy. Well, would you see this dress? It's an app. This dress is going to be crazy. It's going to be see through which Joe would have done. That would have been so. Joe actually worked out like me a little bit or get Spakes you know like get some skink color Spakes because my butt my butt is huge. It's like a junk of my truck You know what I mean mom this dress is actually too small for me mom. It's actually choke me right now
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's like I choke my neck right now. It's like what am I like you what am I in some sort of like self masturbation where you where you choke yourself like the guy from NXS I'll tell you what's excessive is the tightness of this. Okay. It's a okay classic mark does a lot of jokes right there that's like a Joan that's a big Joan sequence right there three one two three Joan jokes right in the row the lady is like do you want to get an interest and she's like well wait yeah I do want to get addressed but dad yells coming is she's my friend okay but dad yells coming she's my friend okay but dad yells coming here mom mom it's a C3 dress but the truth is I feel like I'm a young girl because I'm delusional. Okay, that's why I'm delusional. Like forever, my mind, I'm young, like Goldie Hawn. Yeah, I mean it's sort of like a classic Goldie Hawn. Like what do you do when you put Goldie Hawn
Starting point is 00:11:34 and Joan Rivers together? You get classic merch, that's what you get right there. Like throw me overboard because that's what I am right now. Do you see what I did there? You get golden rivers. I'm like first wife's club, okay, except on all the wife's clubs. There's another Joan right there. It makes sense. The first contract is club. The first contract is club.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Start Jo Jo Jo with Jo. You know, it's not death doesn't become me, but I'll tell you what does become me. A new floor in the ballroom, okay? New floor in the ballroom becomes me. That's my movie with Mel Street. Hey Goldie, don't feel bad. Barrel Streep still looks doors by cause too. Like it's crazy. She doesn't know who't feel bad. Barrel's Streep still looked towards my closet too. Like it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:12:05 She doesn't know who it's calling her. So she's laughing. I hope you're laughing right now. See what I did to get left in. Get it Goldie on. Don't move. It's a lot of humor happening. It's a lot happening right now.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Okay, and you know, it gives like, I think some anti-Semitic, but I tell jokes just as good as the Jews, okay? She's always on. She's even in the dressing room trying on her dress. It's like uh... what's the noise in there what is that work it on a new set that you said try to squeeze it this dress
Starting point is 00:12:35 this is the barge fly get it back look at the whole i'm doing a whole line of jetsons clothes okay it's called the mcbeth jetson clothes okay it it's called the Judy Judy Jetson collection. Okay, I gotta workshop the joke. Okay, just let me workshop a little bit mom. Okay Did you hear the Danielle's coming? Okay? Tell Danielle like Goldie Horns getting dressed see what she says. Oh my god Danielle's coming You know what get her bebe hubbebe hubbebe get over here. We got issues with the dress the poop the poop A hubby ball the poop of a hubby balla come on. It's like it's like it's like boot up sacks of rice over here. We got issues with the dress the boop the boop Allah Habibullah the boop Allah Habibullah come on It's like it's like brutal up sacks of rice over here
Starting point is 00:13:07 And her beef like we will take care of this in five minutes. She's like five minutes seriously How are you gonna do this for five minutes? Look at this part this back it up back it up Habib back it up Habib This could take more work than the renovations in my in my ball room Have you spoken to him? He's talking to Joe about this. Oh my god, Joe He can you can't do it for the life of me I got a party going on two days of beep. Okay. You have how long is he gonna take you to do this dress five days I mean nothing goes on schedule anymore. I mean why might as well not even throw a party
Starting point is 00:13:31 Might as well just turn on the TV and watch sign felt Joe should take notes. I mean her baby has been here like less than two minutes and he's already pulled out the spackle Okay, back'll be up. I mean back'll be up. Hey classic joke. That's classic joke I'm gonna show up with whole filler at bio party. Okay, classic Joe. So Danielle comes in and she sees she sees a margin. This crazy dress. She's like, oh, it's stunning though. Oh, you naked. Look at that. You naked. She's like, yeah, well, you've seen the barge before. You've seen the barge you naked before. Happy. Yeah. You remember that? You've that you've seen the module of the bubble of the modular. She's like I have and it's gorgeous I
Starting point is 00:14:11 Have a question since we're talking about Danielle There was some chatter on the internet about some scene with Danielle that was cut out on last week's episode Where she's supposed to have she apparently had sex with Marty at the Goraga Pizza opening, and then was like, I have seen him on my shoe. Did, what is this? Did you hear about this? Yeah, so what I'm understanding from the season is that Danielle's the one who's really getting fucked over.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Okay, she comes on, she's trying to start fights with everybody, she's fucking somebody in a bathroom and getting sperm on somebody's shoe. Like, I don't know who's shoe, probably the Laura's. That's what I bred in the comment. I don't know if that's true because you know, I'm not a real news source. Like I don't know all about the tea or reality tea or TT, you know, green tea. Camma mealt.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Green tea. Is it green tea news? Daniel Scott got cement on the Laura's shoe. Yes. So I don't know who's shoe it was, but she got in trouble for that. She got in trouble for some racist rant against her ex-boyfriend and was calling them all sort of like, uh, Hispanic slurs and stuff to the point where all the other housewives were refusing to shoot with her. And they tried cutting her out of the season, which apparently
Starting point is 00:15:20 didn't work. So Danielle, you know, we see you making an effort. Oh, I say she didn't work out She needs to be she needs to be fully promoted if you ask me No, I mean she's been part of all the all the drama she and Margaret have been you know MVP's of this season I mean you can even make an argument for For for singing and all her craziness, you know, you can't have enough you can't have these arguments without a crazy person Yes, exactly. So we reward you, okay? Here's some huts.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Not too close. I do not want your man Seaman on my crock, so I'm staying kind of over here, but like air hugs. Yeah, air hugs. So yeah, Marge and Danielle are talking about this upcoming birthday party for her because Marge was turning 50 and she's having a studio 54 party and You know she's like look you know what you know I have manners and I'm not gonna
Starting point is 00:16:12 I'm not gonna like not invite see you're not gonna just disinvite him get invited because I got manners But you know though like if she makes a scene you know what my party plan of Larry's just gonna kick her right out Like don't you don't want to mess with Larry, okay? You know he sells mattresses. You know he's killing me not every all the time Killin me Larry I love that Larry my party planner will kick her ass out I've never been so excited to meet a character as I have Larry the party planner. I know Have you also noticed that Margaret always looks like she's blowing on hot tea to cool it down? No matter where she's walking she's like
Starting point is 00:16:43 to cool it down. No matter where she's walking, she's like, but not with the U-Blow. Yeah, not U-Blow. The Grimmis below. It's like it's right below her lips. Like she's like, it's like staged and ready to be sipped from, but she's like, you know what, let me just give this one more, let me give it one more below because I don't want to burn my tongue. Okay, I got a sharp tongue, but I don't want to have a burn tongue. Just a bit of a ditch. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, because it's a tongue-humour. I don't know why I thought it was funny that she was shopping at Versailles, but I did. I laughed, I wrote a cap. I was like, is every place in Jersey named something like that?
Starting point is 00:17:13 I know. And every place that's named Versailles has the same font, whether it's the Cuban chicken place here in LA or the furniture shop, not furniture shop, but probably is a furniture shop in Jersey. Yeah, it's like fancy, but also hard rock. Yeah, like it's a little, it's got a little bit of that like gothic font, dramatic font to it, but it's also got some zap chancery for some zazzle. Yes, I like that.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Habib went all the way out for the font. Yeah, he really killed it. Give me five minutes. I need more than five minutes for this font. Okay. So March isn't the only one shopping Sink-y self-wermit Rothman Josh you see these t-shirts. He's like, well you get me this flask. It's for water ma
Starting point is 00:17:54 But I'm going to college now. She's like oh, it's like a steak in my heart I'm not getting you a flask, but I will get you a cookie jaw to remind you that you came out of my cookie! You want to stop by the cookie store? I wonder by you a cookie cake! Joshua Hoi. It's my favorite cookie. I almost drank some water and glad I waited. Thanks, I was really excited to drop a good Chipsa Hoi joke on the podcast. Josh is Barry!
Starting point is 00:18:32 Yeah. Josh is Barry Cookies. Okay, so we're ridiculous. Josh Wano! That's like a Molana when Joshua's together. It's when Josh is like small and dry with me. He's charging me more money on my credit card because he's a little more dry than a cheap cookie. Oh, are you Joshua?
Starting point is 00:18:58 So they're basically shopping for prom and he's like, look at me. I'm going to college and she's like, I'm dying. Rodrigo, come here. Rodrigo, do you sell life jackets? Get me in life jacket because I'm drowning in despair, Rodrigo. He's like, oh my god. Jesus Christ. Isn't it bad enough I'm copying your suit? Yeah, and Josh was like, well, I think this scarf would look good with me because it'll look really good at Penn State. Oh! He's going to a college where he's gonna learn about pensmanship.
Starting point is 00:19:31 No, ma'am. I'm going to Penn State. Oh! He's gonna learn about animals and keep him in a pen. My brave Joshua. He's gonna tilt the land like a farmer. No, um, Pennsylvania state. Oh, Okay, can I drive there? I'm in Joshua. I'm in. I'll never have to get on the plane to see my child. Like well, Southwest. Thanks you Okay, everybody in the live Southwest Airlines. Thanks you. I can't even imagine seeing on Southwest. First of all, you know
Starting point is 00:20:01 She would get into the wrong letter parts should be like, hello. I'm gonna stand right here. Hello, I'm Siggy Flicka. Is this section A 14? Like, no, man, this is C 35. Okay, I'm sorry. There's she would be a C because she would always forget to do it on time like me. Yeah. And then she would try and go in every time they call the boarding call. They'd be like boarding call for special people, you know, where people with children or limbs or whatever. And she'd be like, it for special people, you know, where people with children or limbs or whatever and she'd like It's me. I've been stabbed through the heart the second to Joshua left me my heart is leaking It's like no man that doesn't count. No, but I have a child at his name is Joshua is younger than three months
Starting point is 00:20:40 Well, he's basically two months plus 18 years But I still think of him as my little two month. I remember him in my hands right here. If you can remember your child with these two months, can you go in ahead of everyone else? Because I remember very well. Where's the line for people who grew up in a salad? Where's the line for people who drive over garbage caned lids when they drive their cars. So that's pretty much it. He's like, please do not come visit me without texting first. She's like, I'm going to every football game. Why does he want to go to every football game? He don't play football, does he?
Starting point is 00:21:16 No, but like Penn State has a huge football program. Yeah, that sounds like the most horrible thing. My mom's like, we're going to football every week. Unless you're not my brother. Get out. Penn State is not Joe Paterno or the late Joe Yeah, that sounds like the most horrible thing. My mom's like, we're going to football every week. Unless you're not my mother. Get out. Penn State is not Joe Paterno or the late Joe Paterno and the scandalous Jerry Sandoski, isn't that Penn State right there? Wow, we're already talking about, we're already talking about
Starting point is 00:21:37 Siggie's awkward cookie remarks. Okay, we don't need to make this more awkward. We don't have to bring Jerry Sandoski into this. Sandoski cookie. No, no, no, no, you started it. Okay, asking that over. Let's go over to Nona. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's basically SIGGY. Yeah he's never realized that. No, right. Joshua. Well, no, no, no, it's his grandchildren because when he wants help in the kitchen, look, he knows who to assign what, right? He just hands a millennia, a millennia, the big old hammer to
Starting point is 00:22:17 like beat the beef. He's like, here, beat the beef. It's like, all right. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Yeah, he's good for that. So basically, it's Teresa's birthday. And if you may remember from a previous episode, Joe Gorgah wants the kids to surprise her and everything. So Joe Gorgah and Melissa and their kids arrive and it's like cooking the meat and they're signing these little cards and it's really cute. And then Teresa has the right letters, which thank God no homeschool teachers around
Starting point is 00:22:47 to read those out loud, because I have a feeling they're horrifying. Did you notice that Melissa said right when she got to the door, oh my God, as soon as she get to this door, you smell garlic. I didn't notice that she said that. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Yeah, I'm sure those kids have our good at writing letters. I think they've had a lot of experience with their parents over the past two years or so. Oh, it's true. They write letters to their parents in prison. Whenever it takes to increase the income to improve your penmanship, right?
Starting point is 00:23:15 A little call back to Penn State. Oh man! I love when you can make me clutch the perils. Listen, I'm not the one who made the joke about Jerry Sanduskin. You teed it up! You can't start a T-ball game and get mad at someone swings at the ball, okay? Either way, the kids write their letters and then, um, then Teresa shows up like, oh everyone hides in the corner and she shows up to the kitchen and they're like,
Starting point is 00:23:44 surprise! And she's like, and she's like which was cute But also like only Teresa would be surprised by her own children being around us It's like what are you doing here? Also Teresa is the only person on this show who doesn't get the irony of wearing black and white stripes and get the irony of wearing black and white stripes. She's like, hey guys, I was gonna take us out, but then I wanna make a break for it. Man. I tell some cookies, can I have the cookie crunch?
Starting point is 00:24:17 See, it all comes back. Cookies and jail, it all comes back together in a cereal. Siggie's hanging from a beamer or a rafter. Like, whoa, don't talk about cookies. So she had that. Just answer magic words, Siggie and cookies. Come on, it's the season finale. Yeah, so Siggies are not long for this world.
Starting point is 00:24:39 I want her popping up in every scene, big and large. Yeah, we only have, this is basically like, we only have a few episodes left of Sigala before she's gone from the Housewives universe. Oh, Sigala, blah, blah, blah, blah. So they start reading their letters and Melania is like, I couldn't describe in words what I think of you. So I just wrote a middle finger being put up.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Love your favorite daughter, Beladia. So here's... No. So I put a lot of gum in here instead. So Teresa's like, oh my daughter's been through a lot. They do, you know, but they wow me, you know, because like, your question yourself, like, is I doing a good job? So is this? And then you come home and you see this and like Melania come right like I didn't do so bad Joe did all of this okay, so credit Joe for being a good brother
Starting point is 00:25:32 But also it is my seat your kids didn't like you know attack you with bats or whatever Yeah, yeah, you never know what those kids. Yeah, I think I think they're all moving in the right direction So we learned that Teresa is gonna go see Joe this weekend for the first time in about seven or eight months And she's bringing Melania and Adriana to the to the prison And she just really wants an apology. She wants the apology. She feels like she lost time with her mom and She feels like he never really apologized. So that's she hasn't been there in like eight months. That's crazy, right? Yeah, and she's like yeah, you know, like I'm nervous, because I, I want to hear what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I'm sorry, because like it's festering in my brain. Like if I keep it inside, it's not going to be a good thing. There's something there. So on these shows, you know, everybody gets faceless and I'm not going to faceless shame anybody. But the, my favorite thing to point out is that you can lift your face but it keeps moving your hairline back, you know? So people just like get these huge foreheads
Starting point is 00:26:30 and then like you've got a ponytail starting in the middle of your head, it looks crazy. But it's going opposite for Theresa, have you noticed? It's weird, it's like they're lifting that up but then pulling the other part down. I'm not really sure what's happening, but it's fundamentally turning into senior wensis at this point. Wait, who? Senior wensis? Like wenseless wintid town? No, like when you make a hoppa with your hand, you know, to make your hand, you put your make it
Starting point is 00:26:55 like and you turn your hand, you make a fist and then you put it on inside and make the thumb is like the lower jaw and go, bruh, br rrr rrr rrr Senior Wences, no one. This is BrainFaster. Hello, this is Uncle BrainFaster. So next up, the Laura is Frankie and Frank. Ha! Well, we got 70th moments. You guys save this moment, you know,
Starting point is 00:27:19 because Frank's gonna go off to save it hot. And Frankie, he's still here. Which one's Frank? Which one's Frankie? Well, one of them's going off to college. one of them's banging me in the bedroom. Okay, so let's bowl Let's bowl. Do I look pretty? I didn't wear makeup. Okay. Yeah, I do. Okay, great So this is where you spend the weekends with your friends I thought you was gonna be taking us to a strip club. It's something look. I raised him Frank. I raised him I'm the one who raised him. I mean that's pasta still on the camera. Look, there's pasta on your lane.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Is this your lane? There's some pasta dropped on this lane. You know, I was afraid when Frank moved into the house. I thought he was not... I wasn't sure if you'd get along with Frankie. But it turns out two guys who only care about lifting weights and not going to head and spill in pasta everywhere. Everywhere.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Huh, they get along. Who the thought? And Dolores even can give some bowling shades. She's like, yeah, you know, I got the boyfriend at home kind of, you know, I see him sometimes when he's not saving lives. And then I got Frank to boss around the suite for the kitchen, you know, like people ask questions, but look, I'm not wearing makeup. I'm still gorgeous. And I know this. We're happier than a lot of people I know. I'm like, ooh, holy shade. Listen, everyone wants to put our relationship in a box, but they can't put it in a box
Starting point is 00:28:27 You know why cuz we're already in a zoo, so we're in a cage Don't close me up, you know why cuz I got an open kitchen now, okay Listen, I got an open kitchen the last thing I wanted is the box okay I spent all this time doing cabinets and you know there's boo that was there for a long time And now Frank is here and they're just filling pasta everywhere and they got the new chairs. I think I want a box, I want a box, I want a bowl. I want a big large countertop that I can have somebody come over and beat the meat.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I'm calling my lotty, just large enough with the hammer. I like that when they tie up story lines and it's like, now we're bowling. The end, thanks for watching. Thanks for watching. Thanks for watching. I did this without bumpers. Okay. We've come a long way. Frank used to bowl with actual kitchen bowls. It's disaster every single day. Why do you think we need a new cabin if you put locks on them to save the bowls?
Starting point is 00:29:17 Talk about a swiffer. Geez, we'd be up and down these lanes like crazy people. Hello, this is Ziggy Flickr. We are going to pause to take a commercial break. Some of you will hear an ad. Some of you won't. But one thing is for sure. I miss my Joshua. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid,
Starting point is 00:29:49 but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,
Starting point is 00:30:09 oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:30:29 You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So next is March. Now, March has been hiding gifts in her basement. Yes. And this one's name is Marlena. Not Marlena Evans, but you never know what this shows. I think it was actually Marlene. I mean, it was spelled Marlene. No, no, you're right. Never mind. It's Marlena, but she calls her Marlene. She's like Marlene.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Marlene. Marlene. Marlene. Where's my sexy girl? Marlene. Where's my sexy girl? And she folding the leopard print towels. I hope so. Marlene, get up here, Marlene. She's like, oh, t t t t you know she's like a pixie and she's she just comes in and she's like All right, that's enough disco diva. Okay, what are you gonna wear you gonna dance go this school? Where is she been all my life? Yeah, why have we not been seeing? I mean, I understand that March Senior needs a lot of time on screen as the Kookie, Kookie, and Slary character to March, March, Junior, Classic March.
Starting point is 00:31:39 But we need some Marleney also. Yes, Marleney needs to be on this show every episode. And hell, Marlene needs to just go talk to Ziggy. Just have her do it. Yeah, she would solve everything. She could yeah. Six seagulls, six seagulls, girl, la la la la la la. This school comes down. Are you saying I'm anti-discope? Because you're wrong. Disco, this, like the whole season is solved in what Marlene has seen. She's very enchanting. I understand everything now. So Marge is like, all right, come on. Like,
Starting point is 00:32:14 Joyce is coming over with the rendering, okay? I put Joe through the ringer with this room renovation, but we're going to get a rendering, okay? Because when he sees the renderings, it's going to kick him into gear, okay? Like, if it's my 70th birthday party with this room is done like he's gonna He's gonna be dead. Okay, we're gonna die in a rented room I don't even care if I have to move into this cardboard box. Joyce come in here. Hold on a second. Hold on Maga number three is on the foot. Maga number three. Okay. This is crazy. Okay. This is Goldie Hahn by way of Joan Rivers calling you Okay, Joyce is coming over. We can do some render. It's just be amazing I don't even know how Joe's can handle it.
Starting point is 00:32:45 He's been taking so long on this ballroom. I don't even know if he'll ever finish it. But he's been getting some renderings. We'll put the rendings up on the wall. Be like that show with Res of Farahand. What's it called? You know, it's mine and ours. There's more like you as mine and Joyce.
Starting point is 00:32:55 You know what I'm saying? I'm kind of Joe out. No, classic Joan. Well, I'm glad that for Joyce, they hired Dana from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah. She's like, Dana, look, I feel bad for you, Dana. Okay, I don't like to see anybody's downfall.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Okay, the game night episode, it was a classic. So I'm giving you another chance. Your name is Joyce now. Okay. Just coming with a red ring and talk, five, and so Joyce comes in. She's like, oh my God, 25,000 am I right? Am I right, 20,000?
Starting point is 00:33:20 My baby speaks Thai. All right, you know, listen, come here. Look out for the stairs. I don't want to break a cancule or anything like that You know Michael Joseph, that's a classic classic word of mine. I'd say cancule cancule is like a very good It's a buzzword. It's a buzzword with a Beth Collection We actually have like a cancule cancule koolats. Yeah, you put a koolat on your cancules. It looks very stylish Get them in Italy Milan. We've got a change first from Milan that says cancule crossing, okay? Have you ever seen that before? the back? It's too see what's his kissing
Starting point is 00:33:51 Cancel on board so I really like that Margaret didn't do a property brothers Where it's like we can't finish on time so just you know tape some shit to the walls and let's leave and move on to the next house Yeah, she's like okay Here's a rendering that's what it looked like hopefully hopefully by next season. Until then, here's what we get. Now, let's call party plan to Larry in here and he'll tape some shit on the floor. Okay. Yeah. Joy, I see a great job. I'm not going to pay for any of this, but it looks great. Thank you so much. And Joe's like, please don't paint that wall white. Please for all that totally. And she's like Joyce goes, it'll look amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. at this point margis in full
Starting point is 00:34:26 It's just sort of like Raja hot team mode where her hands are out like a Hindu god, but she's blowing tea below her chin. She's like Joe Joe it looks amazing. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, Joe. I've had enough This hole's in the floor. Okay, Joe Joe this literally holds this like a hole a flow is actually hold this pit. It's a pit to hell in here Okay, Joe is and there's no this is Lily Holtz. This is like a floor is actually, this is a pit to hell in here. Okay, Joe, and there's no confetti. I'll see a hose, no confetti. I love that party planner Larry is coming and filling holes.
Starting point is 00:34:53 That's what you do in your name is party planner Larry. You know what else you do? Sometimes you just drive to prison. It's like, hey party planner Larry, we need to make this a fun day. You want to get the card of prison with us? It's gonna be great. It's like, hey, party plan to layer. We need to make this a fun day. You want to get the car to prison with us? It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. So Trey is going off to visit Joe
Starting point is 00:35:10 and she's with Adriana and Melania. And one of the girls is like, I wish I could rewind time, which is really sad. And Teresa's still really mad at Joe. And she's saying, again, she's talking about, I really want my apologies is and stuff. So, will she get her apology? We're not sure because the car pulls up and then this big text on screen is like, no
Starting point is 00:35:33 cameras were allowed inside the prison. I'm like, yeah, we've, I'd like to lower us. I've been in this part of the zoo before. We get how it works. Yeah, we figured. It was sad when she's like, hey girls, what are you gonna tell daddy? And the kids like, well, I'm gonna tell them about my recital and my communion and my sleepover. She's like, oh my god, I didn't even know about that stuff.
Starting point is 00:35:54 You should write that down. So after, it's like no cameras allowed in prison. So after, she's like, wasn't that fun kid and they're like it was amazing Which is cute. I mean those kids really do put up with a lot of shit and what is Melania's phone cover? Did you notice that? I know it was like a Jesus it wasn't a Jesus, but there was like a priest on it Well, at first I was gonna make a comment about it. I was like look at her her like super religious phone cover But then I started thinking that it wasn't a phone cover. I started to wonder if there was a little pocket
Starting point is 00:36:30 that you could put stuff in and maybe there was some prayer that had been slipped in there. So then I was like, oh, that's not as crazy. I mean, I think it's Sean Connery. It's like Sean Connery playing a saint. It's like an odd eBay phone cover. And I was like, oh, Sean Connery is playing St. I think it's a saint of missing things, whatever that saint's name is.
Starting point is 00:36:49 But I was like, that's a, that's a, Marlini. He's called this girl. I find it for you. So the gorgas are over at the Jonathan Adless door. Yeah, and I love the later decorator. See a later decorator. Do you remember that? Yeah, so I recap that show TV guys. Oh,
Starting point is 00:37:10 course, I remember. Oh, the way he would say it was get that sad look on his face and say, see a later decorator. And yes, I am John Thaugh, they're being forced to sing this ridiculous tagline. See a later decorator. I'm sorry, but your your paint is not dry whatever they said I know I know I really loved when they brought an India Hicks and they upgraded from See a later decorator to something like you don't fit in you're going home Yeah, I'm like you're ugly India Hicks is like you're ugly and you limp You're going home
Starting point is 00:37:42 ugly India Hicks is like you're ugly and you limp You're going home You're not fit in with us. You're going home You smell funny to rich people get out Whatever happened to the sweet see you later decorator. You're going home God I miss that show. They're like all right today's challenge You've got one little white room that turned it into a three room diving room. Wait, that's impossible. Not a few of Ricky Schroeder's wife.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Oh my God, that's so easy. Members, she was always like, I don't wanna tell people this, but I'm Ricky Schroeder's wife. And I'm afraid that once the word gets out, I'll be treated differently. Oh my God girl. She's like, I don't want people to take me less seriously than they already do.
Starting point is 00:38:26 I don't want people who think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Oh damn it! She's like damn it. It takes different strokes to rule the world. Why couldn't I be married to one of those guys? I always did have a thing for Conrad Bane. Oh top design. Yeah so speaking so anyway so we're at Joe Joe Adler, Jonathan Adler's store and I guess New York City or something and Melissa and Joe were there they're browsing for a gift for classic Marge's birthday party coming up and then Teresa joins Melissa let's us know this cracked me up because she's like, oh, here we are, Jonathan Adler. Margaret requested that all of her gifts come from here, which is hilarious.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Like, okay, I'm not going to register. Just get everything from Jonathan Adler. I love him. He's like so jump that guy. Like he gets it. He gets it. So, John is so John. What are the odds that anyone's actually going to go to Jonathan Adler's store in the
Starting point is 00:39:23 city versus like going to local synagogue But like hello, it's Jonathan Adler here. It was supposed to get a gift from him You know that if you don't bring a gift from him see a later decorator, okay? That's all I'm saying to you, okay You know they're like besting some 13 year old boy in a synagogue in West Orange New Jersey Be like hey, we have a gift. He's like, I'm just starting my half Torah We have a gift. He's like, I'm just studying my half Torah. Like that. Oh.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And Melissa doesn't know what to do in the store. She's like, oh, that March, she's so psychedelic. Okay. And then Joe picks up a giant glass nose and starts like, pumping it. He's like, look, it's a nose dick. This is the definition of like, bulls, let loose in the China shop. This is like, it made me actually want to go to the Jonathan Adler store in Milrose, isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 00:40:08 I was like, talk about, like, talk about good marketing. I was like, oh my god, these people are ridiculous in this store. I want to go and get a Chachki. I want to know how many giant glass noses she got. Because like, someone had to buy that giant glass nose. Someone had to. Someone had to. Well, well, Teresa and Melissa Melissa when have these on a little bar set right because one of them bought the ice bucket the other one got the glasses and it's like a set.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Now here's something weird now they're saying. Oh, here's something weird. If they don't get an apology after fucking the nose. If she don't get an apology, she's walking and Melissa's like it sounds like she's going to walk. Well, when Teresa got out of the prison, she was saying, I got emotional and a minute I saw my got choked up and I didn't have the courage to ask for an apology anymore. But then at this scene, she says that he did apologize. Yes. If you listen carefully, she didn't say, I didn't, I didn't say I didn't I didn't I like I couldn't I couldn't ask for the apology
Starting point is 00:41:07 She said when I saw him I just got so choked up scissor and stuff So I you know I just couldn't even ask she didn't say I couldn't ask just all that all that confidence that I was working on It all just went away. That's all you heard But that doesn't mean that she didn't ask for it. Just meant that it was harder for her Oh, I see I got she wasn't saying it encouraged to ask for an apology when a way is what I wrote down now I'm not transcribing the courage went away, but she still asked I think that's what the point is oh Okay, cuz I thought she said she didn't ask and then when she saw them She's like oh, it's okay apologize and he's like he did and she's like yeah and then he said he's really sorry nothing
Starting point is 00:41:45 I'll have him like this again and he was like don't you read the letters I sent you like all the stuff I sent you from from the camps and I was like I'm busy you know because you know she doesn't she's like us another letter well because she was because she said sort of more to your point she she goes yeah I'm still really mad about what happened and everythings and I lost time with my mom's and stuff. And I just wanted a poetry and then he was like, don't you read my letters and emails? And I was like, yeah, but it's weird with words that I want to see face to face. So then he was like, yeah, I'm sorry. And so I was like, oh, okay. I was like, oh, the way she said it was like, oh, yeah, okay, fine, I'm sorry. And just like, I'm amazed
Starting point is 00:42:21 the apologize. Like, he's hot hot hardcore old school. That's crazy He wrote a letter like what a man wrote a letter to a woman what this is crazier than this giant glass nose I'm picking this nose with my dick babe. She's like, I Joe So then Teresa's like, yeah, no like I just it's just like everyone makes mistakes. I'm list is like, yeah, that was a pretty big mistake. And she's like, yeah, but yeah, Joe, get your dick out of that nose. Joe. There's something sort of super hot about the idea of Joe Gorgah just disroping in a Jonathan Adler store. I still think he's hot too. Yeah. I can't help it. He's super hot. I'm sorry. He's super hot. Oh, I can't help it. He's super. I'm sorry. He's super. I can't help thinking he's so hot. He's like the only bravo guy I like to see do those
Starting point is 00:43:10 thirsty scenes where he's like, oh, hey, Canberra crew. Look at me take a shower. Look at that. And then they have to like blur out his dick. Usually that's a jack's move that I'm like, oh, the thirst. Yeah, but I love when he does it. Yeah, I would have liked it if Apollo did that more in his prime. Oh, Apollo is also a big rar And you know who never really you know who is like a roar but didn't really we didn't really get to spend enough time in his Rareness was Donnie Edwards Catherine Edwards's husband Hmm. He's raw. He's Rarish. I've actually seen him in person and he is very raw in person. I don't think a lot of them are raw But definitely Joe do you guys and I think it's no Joe gorgas
Starting point is 00:43:52 Joe do you guys I think it's kind of hot too. There's something about these like goomba type guys You know it's like you don't go I'm not gonna. He's not as hot as gorgas But I could see the I could see the oh my god. Why are we talking? Joe Gorga is is like hot. He is just He's muscular, but he there's something about he you know It is he really does exude a sexuality. You know, he really it seems like a sexual Creature, you know, and that's hot you can sort you can sense it Also, I love crazy eyes, but you know what I have? I like short guys. But you know what I hate? Anytime we start thinking about sexy husbands, etc.
Starting point is 00:44:29 No matter what, inevitably the boner killer is thinking of Ramona massaging Mario with your oil. It always pops up every single time. Yeah, like if you ever have a trouble, if you're ever having trouble in real life with like getting boners, and this is, you know, this is a hint for everybody out there. You know, you can't just be walking around with boners, okay? But it's kind of normal for that to happen to a guy. If that happens, just think of that Ramona scene with Mario, where she's like poking him in the chest, like is that sexy?
Starting point is 00:44:58 Okay, sexy, okay? Right? It's romantic, right? He's just like, I looped up for this. He's like, shaved chest. okay, let's change the subject. Did we ever do a list of top 10 hottest husbands on the Housewives? Did we ever do that? No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:45:16 We have been done like a ton of top 10 lists. All right, why don't we add a top 10? Well, let's do a top 10 hottest husbands on one of our live shows. Okay, I'm down. That's fun. I like doing that. We'll do it. We'll figure a top 10. Well, let's do a top 10 hottest husbands on one of our live shows. Okay, I'm down. This is fun. I like doing that. We'll figure out which one. All right, well, that was a nice break
Starting point is 00:45:31 through some sexual harassment of husbands. Now let's go to something. Now let's go to Sikki sexually harassing her son, Josh. Yeah, Joshua emerges looking like he's about to go to funeral. He's wearing like a black suit with a black tie White shirt. I was like, where where's he going? He's like the prom. I dressed him like the funeral because it's the death of his childhood I want to go to prom with Joshua. We know, Sighi. We know, okay, and her mom says Joshua I cannot believe it
Starting point is 00:46:05 Oh my little Joshua is cornered by a member when you game out of my daughter's cookie Mother my cookie Don't take it away So SIGGI comes to her ending her ending circle. She's like I realized a relationship relationship with him and just because he's leaving. It's a cycle of life. Okay, he's not dead. So it's not really. It's not really the circle of life. I wouldn't really hold up a baby line at this point, but okay, glad you're smiling for a scene. Everyone's coming up. Look, here's some photos. This is Joshua with his little piggy and his pacifier And now he's going to prom and before he goes to prom, I just want to say I've brought your piggy on your pacifier Please enjoy
Starting point is 00:46:59 We could do a mashup of circle of life and some of the sunset It's the cookie of life! Cookies are a circle! Is this my little circle of life I can't read? Uhhh... Sunrise cookie, Sunset cookie! So let's go... Let's go... Cookie-do-rise...
Starting point is 00:47:21 Cookie-do-set... Cookie-do-rise... Cookie-do-set... Disco-disco, disco-disco-disco... Let's go rise. Kikido set. Kikido rise. Kikido set. Disco disco disco disco disco. It's Marjus party. Marjus like, oh my god, I'm a trainback. It's I'm suffering from exhaust. Yeah, I have exorgia.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Okay, you know what exorgia is? It's when you're so tight and nauseous. It's it's it's it's like a potmanteau. I don't know like yes, Goldie Han all about it. She's young. She understands what it's like. Did you see that picture? Someone posted on Facebook of Goldie Han and Melanie Griffith both walking with giant sunglasses and full-length fur coats on New Year's. Just walking along Melanie Griffiths. Together. Yeah. And they're like, they're still friends. I was like, this needs to be a show immediately. Yeah, they're still friends. I didn't know they were friends in the first place
Starting point is 00:48:05 like either but it looks like friendship going should Still friends yeah from exhaust you okay. I'm excited, but I'm a little concerned But then you know what they were in my party plan to say don't worry He could do it. You know there were holes. There were literal holes in the ground He felt that like he felt them he covered them in black and white stripes I don't know did Jonathan Atlas send a nose. I don't know but there's one here. This one here, okay? Joe Joe Joe I want to leave the room just like this until we renovate okay
Starting point is 00:48:32 I just want like stripes everywhere. I just want a DJ booth up. It's gonna be cool It's like Macbeth collection parties look confident in the floor We'll tell Margot number three to heat up her oven. It's just be great. Joe Joe Tell Susanna was still waiting for the waffle fries and it's all gonna be perfect. Hey, Jody Jody you have the mac and cheese balls you think they can come easy oven warmed up for the mac and cheese ball Jody No, no, don't you call Jody number two. Maybe she hasn't no, okay Water water. I mean I could so keep talking I could still van by could talk about classic I mean I talk about I talk in classic mod voice all the time if I'm not talking classic my voice
Starting point is 00:49:07 I'm talking remote. I mean like honestly kill me now. I'm just basically just like Joe And I'm like non-stop 24 7 Joan classic Joan classic magic classic Goldie. No, I'm saying when you're in a when you're in a Marjorie Dolores, I'm like, oh drink. I'm like peeing I go on and on. I love it. I feel like my march is a little off today. I'm a little sad. I'm like, oh, it's like I really want. You know, some days, I don't know if you feel this way. Some days, you come into a podcast, doing an impersonation and you're in the zone
Starting point is 00:49:32 and you feel like everything you say, you're channeling that person. And today, I feel like I'm a little all over the map. Well, March, I've never really gotten a good march down. So I've never really had a good march. I love my march, but I don't really have a good win. So when it comes to that, I just like to sit back and listen to you.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Well, thank you. I feel like mine is pretty good, but I need it. I should have warmed up before the podcast because I feel like I'm sort of mixing a bunch of different housewives together. I'm like, whoa, this is classic March, okay. Well, it's hard, not too, because they even bring Ramona up later in the coming of clips. You know? Yeah,, I really appreciate that so anyway, so Marge's place actually looks really awesome
Starting point is 00:50:10 They did a really good job and and the graveyard are disco balls. I thought was was pretty cool You know, there's just like tons of disco balls ever. I don't know how they got so many disco balls I mean it's like crazy. I got exhausted just thinking about how those other disco balls get together I mean like if sticky flick over here should cry I mean the last thing I wanted to do to see a graveyard is disco balls And think it was what I hope she felt as dickies I'm not not case it's gonna be it's gonna be World War three in the graveyard at disco balls with that one like who knows Who even knows at least you'll be lit well? Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:50:38 Next thing I know should be calling me an anti-set might because I have a mask grave of disco balls So Trees getting her makeup done at her house. And she's like, five, five, I love his hands, you two girlfriends, man. And the two makeup girls are Luchia and Lashes. I don't know what the other one's name is,
Starting point is 00:50:56 but her lashes are so big. I'm like, how do you not hit passing birds with those lashes? They're huge. It's all right. I think her name is Priscilla. I could be wrong. All I know is that she appears to be transitioning
Starting point is 00:51:09 into a man who's transitioning into a woman. Yes, I'm decided. It's definitely like, Priscilla is just going, actually, she's not even really, does she doesn't look like she's transitioning. She just looks like she's moving into a drag space. And you know what, God bless Priscilla, if that's even your name. I think she's just working on really strong eyelids. She's like I'm gonna have the strongest eyelids in Jersey, okay
Starting point is 00:51:33 The first time this ever in an eye and lash. I'm gonna win it My my lashes do believe well in lash crossfit My lashes do really well in lash crossfit. Lash fit. My lashes picked up a huge tie it through it through it across the room. Hold on one second. My lashes need to do their burpees. So then Dolores is getting her makeup done too. And she's like, I'm gonna call David right now. No answer. Typical. Probably saving a baby. I mean, whatever. Look, I respect
Starting point is 00:52:05 the baby saving, but you know what? He has to have a life. I mean, there's a graveyard full of disco balls. I mean, I don't understand. Why does he not want to come to me to this party? Anyway, let's get into blackface. Oh, God. Yes, he has her big Diana Ross. I mean, I actually was. It's kind of funny because Luan, our dear Luan, also got into a dine of Ross get up. They kind of did the same thing, right? They just had the big wig and they put on a lot of bronzer, which I feel like takes it up the line.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I mean, I'm not a black person, so maybe a black person could really weigh in on whether or not they felt offended. But the way it looked to me is that it went up went right up the line with the ones went right up the line but it was was just on the list is dark skinned anyway right i think the lores is the lores is i actually thought did the same thing but then there was an instagram photo of her and i don't know if it's a lighting thing or the filter
Starting point is 00:53:03 but she looks like she's fully in black face. Oh no. Not really black face, you know, because black face is actually a very specific look. It looked like dark and I was like, uh, the Laura, the Laura, but yeah, she's already, she actually is already sort of naturally dark skinned. I take that Mediterranean Sicilian thing going on. She's like, I don't think she needed to do the bronzer. She could just have a wig.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Yeah. I didn't even know that she did bronzer. I don't even she needed to do the bronzer. She could just have a wig. Yeah. I didn't even know that she did bronzer. I don't even notice stuff like that. Oh yeah, just gay. I'm like a terrible, terrible gay with stuff like that. I'm like, you know, your husband's hot. That's all I notice. Yeah, there's just, there's, you, I think the key is when you do a look like that, you
Starting point is 00:53:38 put on a little bit of bronzer to allude to say it like, yes, I'm like, I'm not going to be so idiotic. She just claim to be Diana Ross while I'm fully white. But I'm putting a little bronzer on to sort of like, to acknowledge that this is a black woman, but I'm not putting on so much that I'm in black face, you know, and it's a non-offensive. Yeah, that's a key. Non-offensive nod. And the truth is, like, a little bit later on jumping ahead someone was it Sige I think it was like I always say you look like Diana Ross mixed with Sophia
Starting point is 00:54:09 Loren and I was like huh I know large large yes and she's actually totally right she's like hey Frank you know what I always say about her ask her ask it because I always say ask it the truth ask it ask it ask it ask it ask it ask it the truth you know I can ask her what like what's truth. Ask it. Ask it. Ask it. You know, are you going to ask her what? Like, what's going on here? It's like 60 minutes, except I've got only 60 seconds. Okay, just ask her already.
Starting point is 00:54:30 What a way I would say she looks like. Okay. How many times do I have to ask her? I've got to explore. Margot. Margot number one and Margot number two. Get her here right now. What are we going to do?
Starting point is 00:54:39 Come on. What are we going to say? Come on, give me a massage already. Just answer. What do you want? Jody. Jody. Jody. Get it. Well, everyone come around Jody Jody one Jody to Margo 3. All right everyone get here I wish this sauna could be here, but she's eating up the ovens Shana's on oven duty Piscilla. We're the good with the last Piscilla get over here. Okay. What is she look like?
Starting point is 00:54:57 Come on come on. I need nants. I need people in your net. Is anyone listening to what I say whenever I say what she looks like? Anyone okay? Renata was Renata Renata. I love that name. Renata. Joyce. I think Laura Jones winning all these awards mainly because her character's name was Renata. Yeah, it's a great name. Yeah, like they're like, oh, I'm not a horrible. I give the Oscar. Yeah, I've never met a horrible Renata. I've never stayed at a bad Ramata. Like I think it's just a good. You occasionally like to watch regatta.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Or enjoy some ricotta. Renata. a shashana get me a waffle fry so this party starts everybody's coming over and delores is use away siggy gets the makeup people after delores which means delores has had to walk around for hours as to hand a Ross god knows what she's been doing she's gone to the grocery stores Diana Ross like she had to to make people to sing. She's like, baby, baby. I've been to this part of the zoo before. Just doing Diana Ross in that part of the zoo.
Starting point is 00:55:52 She's just like, always, oh, I see, we're just, I think we're doing Justin Bieber there for a second. I was like, what? Upside down, you're turning me. Inside out. Yeah. And let's not commit it at all. And let's do, right?
Starting point is 00:56:06 That's the issue called in Lizzou, because I've been in this part of the zoo. They don't like the songs. OK, they don't like Diana Ross. The songs have been. I've been to this part of the zoo also. Yeah. If they're at Diana Ross, songwish,
Starting point is 00:56:15 she sings about open kitchens, because I want to sing that one tonight if this carry up. Making a new kitchen. I want the world to know So the makeup people are now at Siggie's house and they're like oh, we just came over from Dolores's house Bam, bam hit you in the face with my lashes So like so is it gonna be the drama the night and Siggie's like I don't know me in this Margaret person. We don't got great chemistry together. I mean the girl Margaret She's so in-sensitive. I can't even believe I'm going to a party I mean mean, if I have to go to another event, I'm just gonna throw myself down the stairs.
Starting point is 00:56:51 You can tell that New Jersey is low on Brava's priority list if the people have proved didn't even show up to give these women makeup. I mean, prove even went to summer house, okay? They didn't even go to New Jersey. Busy. So the even went to summer house, okay? Even go to New Jersey busy So the party arrival start happening and Danielle's like oh my god. I love it. I'm hard to go Oh, yeah, those are pictures of the March. That's the March. Hey look that picture. That's the March too Hey, with Joe Joe Joe, Deb Deb. What's going on? Thanks for coming Deb. Thanks for coming. What's going on? Joe? I think she actually said that. I wrote that as a quote by I actually don't understand.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I don't remember the context of it, but it just sounds like a large thing to say. I just look when she's walking around with the list of stuff to do. She's like, oh, look, there's the bot. There's this, there's that. And then the bar says Studio 54 and Theresa goes, oh, Studio 54.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Aw, Stity L54! I like to help, by the way, the inconsistency on how people were dressed for this party, because I feel like a third of them were dressed for a disco party, and then a third of them were dressed like they were going to a fundraiser, and a third looked like they were looking for the OTB, you know? It was just all over the map. The OTB. This time we're going to get it. This time we're going to get it. This time we're going to.
Starting point is 00:58:16 So they're all talking about this horse statue that she has outside Melissa's like, there's a horse outside. Can I get on it? She's like, oh my God, Melissa wants to get on the horse. I love that this show. They're always pointing out the obvious. And Teresa's like, it's studio 54. It's a horse. oh my God, Melissa wants to get on the horse. I love that this show, they're always pointing out the obvious. And Teresa's like, it's Studio 54, it's a horse. Oh my God, Melissa said she wants to get on the horse.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Like you guys are constantly writing her own autobiographies. It's a disco balls graveyard. So everyone's like outside. And Joe's like, she gets on the horse every night. Huh? Huh? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, she whilst us does the nose? The nose.
Starting point is 00:58:45 We bought that nose. It's our third. We're having an open relationship with the nose. With the nose. I feel like someone on the production team over there must listen to us because they wedged in an audio clip. I don't know if you heard it of Marge turning to someone going, Jody, you having fun?
Starting point is 00:59:03 I was like, oh, that had to be for us. Why would they else put that, that Jody, and they sliced in the Jody. You could hear the Jody was from a different part of audio. They put in a Jody, and then you having fun. I was like, that was for us. That had to be for us. What a gift.
Starting point is 00:59:18 I prefer a nose. No, listen, if you splice in a Jody, I'll be happy. I was happy. So Marcus, like, hey, if you splice in a Jodie, I'll be happy. I was happy. So Margaret's like, um, hey, uh, it's Ziggy coming because like it's perfect so far. You know, there's a graveyard already. It's Ziggy coming. The Lord says like, I mean, I heard she was, you know, she, I got my makeup done first, but, you know, two hours later, I think she was. I haven't talked to her since then, you know, getting her makeup done.
Starting point is 00:59:42 What? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I couldn't hear it over the sound of me chomping on my animal crackers that I got in the other part of the zoo Sorry, that was of course Carmel corn hurts the teeth have you been to that part of the zoo? Why would they why would they sell caramel corn around The mucky gauge like who wants to eat and smell that you know what I mean? So Jan's like I'm here didn't bring the kids. He is a kiss Thanks for coming. Happy birthday.
Starting point is 01:00:08 So now, what I love is that you can tell the limitations of this show's budget because on any other show, they would have given Margaret an actual horse to walk 10 feet on, which is, but in this one, they're like, okay, we're going to put Marge sort of awkwardly on this fake horse where she's gonna sit on her side and hold the main for dear life and then we're gonna have a bunch of guys lift it up like it's the chair at a bar mitzvah and glide it over five feet to a microphone like there's so much rage on the horse with wheels yeah what about a Trojan horse a Trojan horse that's where Ziggy comes in. She's like, I was here the whole time.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Shambler's like, oh, USC! You didn't even have to use a Trojan horse. You were invited. She's like, yeah, but it's better be in tricky about it. So she's, they put me in the belly of a horse. Is this what you're doing with your guests? Ooh, ooh, ooh. So she's making her grand entrance and Joe goes is that a real horse?
Starting point is 01:01:09 Look immediate. I love this guy. This is why I want to marry Joe. Okay. This is why he's excited by everything. Is that a real horse? Yes, Joe. Is it by Jonathan Adler? So Marge is like, you know, I just want to give a speech to everyone. You know that I'm 1050 and I'm like I'm so blessed I'm a blessed life. I've got my mother, mad senior. I've got my friends. I got my friend who's from Britain But sounds like she's from siase. I love her. What's her name? Lexi. She's here. All my friends. I got my new friends My new friends put me on TV. I got this fake horse. I named them horse for horse horsey I couldn't really think of anything good was off the top my head. I'm my brains full of goldie horn jokes and joe and joe and ribbist stuff Anyway, everything's wonderful except that no children. Anyway, thank you for
Starting point is 01:01:46 She's like I'd like to thank Shashana for her weapons. Okay. Thank you all for coming. Thank you. Where's Jody? Where's my good Jody? Jody? No, not Jody 2 Okay, I'm not talking to you Jody 2. Okay, Jody number one. Okay. There's my girl. That's my girl Jody number one over the thank you Jody She painted the horses hoofs So perfect timing right after the speech everybody everybody's cell phones start going off. It's like an amber alert, but for SIG, it's like a SIG alert. Yeah. SIG alert.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Yes, a SIG alert. It's the know your worth alert. Everyone's like, why am I getting a hashtag that says know your worth? Oh, it's from SIG. It's like, I just heard. I just heard. I just heard it.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Studio 54. Is that a horse? So Margaret's like, oh my god, I heard SIG. I just heard I just heard it studio 54 is that a voice Margaret's like oh my god, I heard sickies not coming. I heard she might be in the hospital What if Daniel's like oh my god give me a break? Yeah, give me a break here so then so while they're digesting this rumor we see Marlene dancing on the dance floor, which is great and while they're digesting this rumor, we see Marlene dancing on the dance floor, which is great. And-
Starting point is 01:02:44 Disco, Disco, Disco, Disco, Disco. Disco, Disco. And now the girls are all talking. And yes, the Siggies in the hospital, she fell, she has a swollen ankle, and Danielle, as you said, is like, oh please, she just wants to, you know, it's a deflection.
Starting point is 01:02:59 It's always a deflection with her. She's just deflecting, she's deflected, deflection, def, attention. That's what she wants. And the Laura's is like, oh really? All right. You're such a slob. You're such a slob. I'm like, you're the one blackface Dolores. I love how casual they've gotten with each other now.
Starting point is 01:03:17 She's like, oh, you're such a slob. Like they're just so comfortable just hating on each other. It's a scumbag. I still love that. Welcome back, sc each other. It's a scumbag. I still love that. Welcome back scumbag. Welcome back scumbag. So she's like, she fails. Well, I hope she's not her.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Oh, Melissa's Melissa's totally thinking she threw herself down the stairs to you know, which who didn't. I mean, that had to have crossed everybody's mind like said, she's fallen down the stairs or whatever. Yeah. And Dolores is like, well, she said they're taking X rays. And Teresa's like, yeah, well, then they're X rays, right? Like, you never fake an injury. And like, you don't question someone when they say they're in camps. So, yeah, people are still on
Starting point is 01:04:02 SIGGI side, which I don't, I don't know, even Margaret, Margaret's like, I'll cover the benefit of the doubt because, you know, even she's not crazy enough to fake this, right? Yeah. Right? Well, Margaret's like, like, I don't understand. She's texting everyone. She's going out of the way to text everyone, but she's not testing me.
Starting point is 01:04:17 And I'm the one who's like more of a Joan than anyone else here. So I don't know what she's not texting me. Which is true, but I mean it's Siggie. And then, you know, Sigggy shows her mature self in a minute. So let's see, Melissa and Joe have a talk about it. And Melissa's like, I'm getting wasted. And Joe goes, did Ziggy break a leg? And Melissa's basically in the mindset,
Starting point is 01:04:38 like, you know, I feel bad for thinking that she may have done this to herself, but then I think isn't it also weird that it's actually in the realm of possibilities, you know, I feel bad for thinking that she may have done this to herself, but then I think isn't it also weird that it's actually in the realm of possibilities, you know, or maybe that was a little bit later. But basically, because he's like, wait, so you're saying she threw herself down the stairs. She's like, I didn't say that, Joe, because well, look, let me tell you something about her. First, she does this. And then they show Sige, like screaming and yelling. Then she does this and then
Starting point is 01:05:05 they show her screaming and crying about a cake. And then she laid down in a party like that's all I wanted. And I just like that they told Joe, look, Siggy's not here and we need a good montage of her acting crazy. So could you just mention all of the things she does, you know, she's done this season? Yeah, exactly. And it's funny that you mentioned that because when they did that, I was thinking that we just weren't going to see Siggy for the rest of the episode. And so they were doing kind of like this because we wouldn't be seeing Siggy. This is how we were going to have Siggy's presence felt by having a gigantic montage of all her crazy moments.
Starting point is 01:05:42 But lo and behold, we then go to a hospital where she's being loaded up into a car and she's in a sling and she's like, I fell down the stairs. And they actually have like a flashback of her at the bottom of the stairs. We, you know, be like, oh, I counted each stairs I went down there were 18 18 stairs my back my arm my face my heel my thumb In between my fingers even it's been a nightmare just a soft landing. That's all I wanted And like we said before it was at the bottom of the stairs So I don't know what to think I don't think she would have thrown herself down the stairs No, I think she I think she fell for sure. I think she fell. I mean
Starting point is 01:06:31 For I mean I Don't think Sigi is going to go to that Like she said to herself If she wanted to come up with an excuse to not go she would have she would have done anything other than Throw herself down some stairs. Sgy's not going to throw herself downstairs. Yeah, but you know, I love a conspiracy. Like later someone said, well, she was planning on coming because look, here's her Instagram and she was posing with her husband in her outfit.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Right. So it's like, did she go back upstairs to get her shoes and put them on upstairs and then come back down? What's going on? What's happening? Well, she got decided to change her shoes or whatever. I mean, I don't know. I just think it's, I think it looked like from that footage, she looked severely shaken up. Like she had just fallen down some stairs. I don't think
Starting point is 01:07:13 she's gonna, I don't think anyone is gonna fling themselves down a staircase unless they're a part of some large insurance scam. Yeah, and I feel like they would have gotten it on camera. I wish that I wish we could have seen your fault on that staircase. I know that's terrible to save, but I kind of do too. I mean, could you imagine a single love falling down those here's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 01:07:39 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum She was the one, you know, the sister in the wheelchair, the John Crawford. And she's like, how dare you threatening violence? Saying that you're going to throw me down some stairs or something like that. And someone reposted it on Facebook and I was cracking up like, of course. Yeah. Now she gets so many meanings. It all comes full cookie guys. It all comes full cookie.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Well, she better not watch the Laurus Clayborn. Yes. Oh my god. Just a little L's clay one reference So the Laura's has been texting her like Danielle's talking all this kind of shit I don't care if you you know if a hand got chopped off you better get here So the Lord sick is like I gotta go. Okay. No one talks about sickie flicker that way Michael camp and Ella and talks about Siggie flicker that way Michael Campanella. Oh, geez. Like, everyone talks about you that way.
Starting point is 01:08:45 Unfortunately. And Dolores is great. She's like, well, I know that she's coming. I'm not going to tell anyone. They don't, the way these girls are talking about it, they don't deserve to know that she's coming. Let it let them be surprised. I was like, yes, Dolores, yes.
Starting point is 01:08:56 That's exactly what I would do. And typical, typical Siggie arrives. And she's like, driver. OK, I want to keep the car here. I want to still the car here. I want to still tree. Dolores Melissa. She's naming all the cast members. She wants to take away from the party. She's like, leave the gun. Take thick and only. Keep Campanella company. So she limps in on her cast and everybody kind of starts laughing because you know,
Starting point is 01:09:25 Ziggy limping like Whoa, yeah, they're like, whoa, yeah, and she's like six weeks like this six weeks And Melissa's like you really hurt yourself. I can't believe it. Oh my god And she's like what you think I faked it. What what are you saying? She's like well I mean come on and she's like I can't believe she showed up today is like right there. It shows you she wanted. She wants to make things better with Margaret. No, it doesn't. And so then it's like here comes the big confrontation. You know, you know, Danielle comes by. It's like, hello, Danielle. I heard you were thinking that I threw myself down the staircase intentionally. Is that true? And Danielle's like, yeah, I mean,
Starting point is 01:10:04 I figured you'd do anything to not come to this party, basically. And even Sikie had to laugh at that. Yeah, Melissa copped to it. She's like, look, I have to admit, I thought this bitch would throw herself down the stairs before she'd come here. And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 01:10:19 Well, I'm not surprised about, Danielle, the sperm on shoe thrower. But I am shocked that Melissa drank the Kool-Aid and I love that she said you know how much I love myself I wouldn't throw myself down the stairs I love the sig yeah and Marian so he was like I was scared to come and Margaret's like I don't know why she'd be scared to come I mean I've never publicly humiliated her I've never called her an anti-Semite.
Starting point is 01:10:46 I've never pushed her down a staircase. I've never made a whole scene on the floor. You know, I don't know why she'd be scared to come here. I mean, doesn't everyone want to come here? They get to meet all the jodies and all the margos and runata. And then on top of that, you get to hear all the jokes from Joan Rivers. I mean, it's a great party.
Starting point is 01:11:00 I'm the one who should be scared, okay? Like, it's me. I'm the one who should be scared. Like, your mortgown, then me. I'm on my 50 should be scared, okay? Like it's me, I'm the one who should be scared. Like you're more chill than me. I'm 50th birthday, come on. And she's like, well, you know, look, she goes, we could have had social graces, you know, and then we were nice that morning.
Starting point is 01:11:14 So like I wish I could when he didn't want to meet Marge Senior, okay? She goes, I never said I wanted to be friends. I don't want to be friends. Okay, so I came here to be with a recent Melissa and Teresa is trying to help her with Teresa has to send you the freaking life jacket. You're in trouble, you know. Yeah, well, I thought, but you came here to say happy birthday, right? Right? Just say happy birthday, right? Yeah. Margaret's like, no, she didn't. She just said it. Look,
Starting point is 01:11:39 I extended the olive branch and what's the point? Like she hits me in the face with it. Okay. Like I just got hit the face with it. Okay, like I just got hit in the face with them all. Okay. You know, this has been all of my martiniens that it's on my face right now. I can't deal with this. That was a Joan right there. Anyone here is a Joan joke about olives?
Starting point is 01:11:53 No, anyone? I mean, that was shaking not stirred and it was dirty. Okay. Which normally I like anybody now, like anybody on the board. So yeah, I thought we had a bond, James Bond. See what I did there? No.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Nobody seriously? Like is this even my 50th birthday party? I mean, had a bond, James Bond. See what I did there? No. No, buddy, seriously? Like is this even my 50th birthday party? I mean, it's like, some people have a license to drive. I have a license to kill, kill them with comedy. That's what I'm saying right now. I got skills, cat skills. Anybody? Still?
Starting point is 01:12:16 Anybody? Octopus, see anyone? And Dolores, of course. And Sikki's just digging her grave even more. She's like, well, yeah, I just came here for them because I love them. And I don't want to be your friend. And then in that, she's just being horrible, you know. You only obnoxious.
Starting point is 01:12:32 And it's even more obnoxious because she is a, you know, a lifestyle motivational speaker. You know, here's this woman who is going, having retrieved preaching about how to get, how to work through issues, how to deal with things. And I tell, I think it's totally fine to say I'm a work in progress, but I, I don't like taking people's money to get them advice that you are totally incapable of even trying to follow. I understand if you're trying, you fail, but the way you're, it's so rude to go there and be like, I don't even want to be friends. I'm, you know, I know you don't want to be a phony, but you, but you could at least say, you know, happy birthday. I would love to meet your mother. It's like multiple times
Starting point is 01:13:16 now where she's been, she's forgiven Margaret and they just decided, I take it back. Yeah, it's not there. What's even happening there? You can't do that, Siggie. And I love you. To me, take this as constructive advice. Biggie, we've been there for you. And I still will be there. I actually, I love Siggie Flaker. I love her.
Starting point is 01:13:34 I think she's great. I think she has galvanized this show for the past two seasons. I want her to come back. I'm not sure if she can or if she will, because she's quit. Maybe she was fired. Who knows what happened. But you got to go to some therapy. I'm not sure if she can or if she will because she's quit. Maybe she was fired. Who knows what happened? But
Starting point is 01:13:45 You know, but you got a you got a you got to go to some therapy I think it's like she's actively trying to make everybody hate her and it makes me crazy because it's starting to work Ziggy stop because I'm actively trying to like you and the Laura's makes excuses for every little thing which makes me crazy Yeah, she's like look. I mean, I know it's not great, but it's hard for sig in this frame of mind. I mean, 18 stairs, 18 stairs. Okay. Look, maybe we'll go down to 19. She found out it wasn't even hers. Just get it. Those are very forced, forced reference. Um, well, Teresa is, Teresa is like, don't worry. I'm not leaving. I'm just going walk around okay, but then she gets out there and because it's Jersey It's all about loyalty and who you leave with on this show and she's like well, you know like she's she's trying to talk to her
Starting point is 01:14:36 She's like hi and like you came from Margaret Margaret her own party like come on didn't you come to say happy birthday? No, I hate her like come on didn't she come to say happy birthday no I hate her. Um I don't. She literally says that and so finally Siggy is leaving and she's taking Dolores with her and it's funny because you say Dolores is making up every excuse for Siggy which she is but weirdly I find it in dearing because I feel like Dolores is a really good friend you know I just I love Dolores I just think she's great um but in this case, I think that she and Teresa should have been like, listen, Ziggy, be a grown-up right now. You're hurt. We all want you to be here.
Starting point is 01:15:12 Even Margaret wants you to be here on some level, so enjoy yourself. We're having a great time, but instead, Ziggy's like, I'm leaving. And she brings the Laura's and Teresa with her, and that sucks for March, you know? Because, you know, like two, like, three of the cast members just left. And on top of that, it's kind of like the most popular cast member left to, you know, doesn't that suck if you have a party and like, someone really popular comes and you're like,
Starting point is 01:15:33 wow, I can't believe they came to my party. And then someone makes them leave, that's not fair. Yeah, it's not, it's not cool. And it's not cool that Theresa did it. Like, I get that Dolores is gonna do it, even though I don't agree. But Theresa, that's not cool. But she's like, no, she was there for me. So I got to go to which I know she thinks she's doing the right thing.
Starting point is 01:15:51 But it's not doing the right thing is telling your friend you're acting like an asshole. People are going to hate you when they see this. Stop acting like a baby or you're going to ruin your own life. Okay. How about that? That's a good friend. And and and Marge was really annoyed that Theresa left with Sei. It was just frustrated.
Starting point is 01:16:06 So then we got to see the updates and everyone's lives as per tradition on a season finale. So, um, Theresa's update is that Theresa is loving Joe's new hotbot and he's transferred to a new prison. And she can't wait to see him once he's approved for visitations. And I'm like, what sort of update is this? All these updates were a little weird. Siggies cut back on work to spend more time with Kappa Nala. She has more time to visit Joshua. And the freedom to do is laundry.
Starting point is 01:16:35 Every time she stops by. I almost wondered if that was a coded way of saying that she's been dropped from the show. She's cut back on work. Cut back on work. Yeah. She's been dropped from the show. You know, she's got more work. You know, she's been forced to cut back on work. Yeah, because what was in her, I don't remember even what was in her quitting letter. Was it, did she say she wants to spend more time
Starting point is 01:16:57 with family? I don't remember. No, she said that at the reunion, Margaret admitted that production said that Sigi sucked and to go against her. And so Margaret was doing it for that and then had to apologize and blow, blow, blow, blow. I feel like this was their avail as a veiled, just sort of poke at Sige, basically not leaving the show. And then Dolores is updated.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Dolores is enjoying visiting Frankie at Sacred Hot and hanging with his new girlfriend. She helps they can do a double date with her and David if David is ever available Okay, great Melissa's sales have skyrocketed since the trip to Milan and V is keeping her busier than ever She's thankful that goga's restaurant delivers L.O.L I mean I read about L.O.L They closed they closed by the way they just closed like this week Yeah, so I'm glad they're delivering also deliver dead bills.
Starting point is 01:17:47 They're like Melissa sold 100% of her stock, which was that one backpack. She ordered from one backpack sales of skyrocketed. Well, when you go from zero to two, that is considered increasing your sales by 200% or I don't know. With zero, it's weird because math and zeros. I don't know Ask party planner Larry. Okay, if you want to know Margaret's home renovation is stalled. Joanne March senior want to keep the party decorations up for etha Margaret is finally considering calling in an outside contract. It named Larry the party planner get on it Just bring Larry in seriously You know, I have to say Margaret You know if her goal was to weasel her way into this cast, which it pretty much was,
Starting point is 01:18:29 as evidenced by the very first episode, when she got that whole arrangement of flowers for Teresa, which was kind of crazy, it worked, because she got the season finale party, and she also got the final update and the update thing, which is normally reserved for the big star right. So look at you.
Starting point is 01:18:48 I don't think she weaseled. I mean, she got cast and she did it right. She got lucky in a way with Ziggy because Ziggy victimized her for season which look the victim, the one who is bullied is always kind of a hero right. But Marge earned it. She brought us so many good margins, all of the extra characters. She was open and honest the whole time. It's fun. I say, yeah, she did a great job. That's a great example of how you how to make your presence known. I think you could also, you know, she is in from the Dorenda school
Starting point is 01:19:17 of coming in late in the show's run and just being herself and being outspoken and not being ridiculous where it's obvious she's trying to start a drama like an Amber Marquesi. She's just doing her, doing her, and by being just who she is, she clashed with someone else. Like Ziggy, he was just being herself, and you get great drama,
Starting point is 01:19:37 because these are two women that were, I feel we're just, can't, they can't get out of each other, anyone's, Ziggy can't get out of her own way, right? She can't help but be herself, and Marver can't, they can't get out of each other, out of anyone's, Sikki can't get out of her own way, right? She can't help up be herself and Margaret can't help up be herself and that's all we can ask for on these shows are people who don't overproduce themselves, they just, they just can't help themselves.
Starting point is 01:19:58 Yep, and next season is when the bitch flower blooms on this show we talk about season two is when the bitch flower blooms. So it'll be about season two is when the bitch flower blooms. So it'll be interesting to see if that happens with Margaret because Ziggy won't be there to take the time away. And we already saw at the end of this where she's like, Teresa better have a good excuse. That's all I could say, you know, where she has no problem getting pissed at who she needs to get pissed at. So, oh, I cannot wait to see it come back, girl. Yeah, it's really a shame that Sigi won't be back because I think the cast chemistry was really on point.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I feel like everyone played a part in the drama over the course of the season. I mean, those are the best seasons. Like Dallas also, right? Everyone was in the mix in some way. I mean, I think Dallas was kind of a master class this past season in how a housewives show could be, but I feel like every person on the cast this season played a part and was essential. I like when there's interlocking drama between people on a show
Starting point is 01:20:58 and so as a result, the season as a whole has something going on. As opposed to Atlanta right now, which is entertaining and stuff, but does Nini Porsche fight? This is supposed to be the feud that anchors this season. It's not, it feels stupid and fake, which is what happens with all of these things. Well, Atlanta is also like...
Starting point is 01:21:21 Atlanta is a classic at making you think nothing's gonna happen, nothing's gonna happen nothing's gonna happen and then boom It's like the craziest shit that's ever happened happens. Yeah, last season was a much better example though Where again more of the woman were sort of drawn into this mess where it was this Sheree situation Sheree had was gossiping and then phedra Phedra started talking shit with them, the Porsche versus can't, it just sort of spiraled out of control. Now, it was a great example of, again, an entire
Starting point is 01:21:49 cast getting embroiled in a drama, but right now it's, it's very one dimensional of Nini, Nini versus Porsche. It's like, it's an argument that doesn't really, it doesn't, it doesn't even make sense. It doesn't have any gravitas. It doesn't even make sense. Like the argument on this season was so petty, it was like cakes and it was the anti-Samite thing and all that. Like it was all petty and silly, but at least you could follow it. The meany Porsche thing doesn't even make any damn kind of sense. Well, again, and it's a fight about stuff to happen off camera in between seasons that pertains to their fame. As opposed to this one, which, yeah, you could probably put an interpretation that if you
Starting point is 01:22:27 read between the lines, it's, you know, Sigi getting mad that a new girl's coming in trying to take her place on a show. But it's really, you know, you can track it, like you said. It was a cake situation where Sigi felt disrespected, and she didn't get the apology that she felt she deserved, and they thought she was overreacting, and it goes up from there. And that's actually kind of, we've been in those situations before, right? Where you feel disrespected by someone, they think you're overreacting. That's much more relatable than, you know, these two men, you know, you said this about
Starting point is 01:22:57 me on Dish Nation. Well, you said this about me on Watcher Happens Live, you know? Yeah. And then the semantics of what was actually said. Yeah, this one was good. And then they showed clips of the reunion coming up and it looks so hilarious. Ramona told somebody something.
Starting point is 01:23:13 So Andy calls Ramona Singer and she's like, oh god, Andy. God, Andy. I know, I think Ramona calls Andy and he's like, I'm in the middle of the reunion, Ramona. Oh, I thought they call her to like a fact check something. Either way, it's great. The way you put it. And then they said, and someone is here. And Teresa's like, I'm out on or whatever. And then we actually see the heels walking in. Do you know who it is?
Starting point is 01:23:38 No, do you? Yes. Do you want to hear? They put it on, what Andy Cohen showed the clip. So Andy, they're talking about Kim D and Andy Cohen's like, well, she's actually here. Kim D and what our listeners were saying is it's funny because Andy Cohen always does that. Well, she's actually here and it's always a fake up. In this case, Kim D actually shows up and Andy Cohen says to Teresa, stay on the couch. And they start fighting and it's going to be great. And I'm hoping Kim D is going to be on this week. Because I really hope we get to talk about that at the Boston show.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Because we're going to be talking about the New Jersey reunion. And I hope the Ramona call happens in next week's show. And I hope that this Kim D thing happens on next week's show. Because I want to talk about that at our live show. That will be hilarious. So good. And yeah, and people are very opinionated about this season. So it'll be fun to have the live audience and hear the
Starting point is 01:24:35 yellbacks and all the opinions of people about Jersey. Because Jersey is the loudest damn show out there. Well, except for Atlanta, Atlanta can compete. Oh, yeah. I mean, except for Atlanta, Atlanta can compete. Oh yeah. I mean, this was Teresa's most innocent season, and she's still screamed through, tried to throw a chair and through a glass of wine. Did it all or whatever.
Starting point is 01:24:52 You know, you're right. This was, I actually think this was Teresa's best season of all time. It was the first time that she was sweet and tried to make amends with people, and seem to take personal responsibility for things. You know, I've always I've always disliked Teresa season one. I disliked her going forward. And this is the first season where I was like, you know, Teresa ain't half bad.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Yeah, so I like to grow in her own weird little way. And you're right. And it's her team of season. She threw a chair and a glass at the wall. Yeah, it's like her nice season if she's still the total monster, which I love. But then right after, she's like, that was fine. It's like, what do you talk? You just threw a chair. By the way, I know a lot of people have been clamoring for classic marriage to come to Boston, our Boston show. I don't know if that's going to happen. We'll try to make it happen, but don't get your hopes up too much by the way. I just don't want people to feel like that it's
Starting point is 01:25:50 gonna happen and then feel let down. I just want everyone to manage their expectations. Most of those guest things that happen at those shows really are just fun guest last minute things where we email people or tweet people or whatever because we're not allowed to really say, oh hey, someone says doing the show and then sell tickets because that becomes a whole other thing with the network. We'll get in trouble. Right, so we don't get in trouble. Right, and we don't want to cause trouble for these people. I mean, we cause enough trouble for them just by racking on them on the internet. Yeah. So, you know, anybody listening to Bravo always feel free to come to a show. We'll bring you up. We'll have fun with you. We'll bring
Starting point is 01:26:33 you on the stage. We'll have to be very careful about who we, you know, go after blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That said, classic march. We're obsessed. Yeah. We are. We're at New York the following month, so that's closer. Yeah, but I just wanted to kind of know there was a lot of scuttle about the Boston show, and I just want to manage expectations. I don't want people to think that like, you know, that we are just, that we're implicitly offering a classic march. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 01:27:01 But maybe we'll try. We'll try. But also, thank you to everybody who like tries to help with that stuff. We'd love you guys. We have the best listeners ever. You guys we really do we really we really do. I'm one so kind and reaching out and we're like you to play to stay and all that. It's so nice of you guys. It's a village takes a village to raise two shitty queens on a podcast. Okay. We've got a good village. Everyone, thank you so much for listening to this episode. We're going to be back tomorrow. Talk to the top chef, and then we'll be back next week to talk more about Bravo. Go to WatchCrafts.com to buy tickets and merchandise or just to book around for fun. It's your board. Talk to some people. Yeah, look at pictures. And we'll talk to you all tomorrow. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone.
Starting point is 01:27:45 Bye. by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.