Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Friedzilla VS Dong

Episode Date: December 14, 2018

It's time for Danielle's Bachelorette Party on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Will she throw her bougie crystal at a betch in the Great Room? This week's bonus is dedicated to Top Chef, Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Ben's fortieth birthday celebration. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live has added a second show to Dallas on Feb 8, plus announced shows in Vancouver, Irvine, Boston and DC! Find ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com **All of this year's Limited Edition tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com until Christmas! You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying, okay? Crispy, wow-ordy, dourty. Asli Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Bird, he can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

Megan the Slayer Taylor. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson! Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Lisa Wallent, now that's what I call wallentainment. Hava Negila Weber! And our super premium Patreon subscribers.

Susie, go unto Toe to Tobin! Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Kelly Grant, the Grant Master! Give them hell, Miss Noel! Let's get racy with Miss Stacey Shannon out of a cannon Anthony incredible edible Matthew sisters and Lizzie Drucker a fine mother we love you guys I'm Ronny Caramam I'm also from the Rosepricks bachelor roast podcast and here I am with Ben Mantelkov the real house swears of kids in Ireland. You can find them on YouTube hello Ben. How's it going?

Good what's going on babe? Oh I am excited. We're at the end of our little work week here. It's been a huge week for us. Been so many different ways. Today, we'll be talking about Real House, House of New Jersey, and doing crap in its mailbag. But before we do that, wow, we've had all these shows go on sale, and it's been so cool. It's always so, that first, those first few days when a show goes on sale, it's so exciting for us. It's like, who's going to buy the tickets? Who's going to buy the tickets? So, like, we're excited Boston was an out of the gate success to the point where we had to add a second show

like within like two hours of the first show. So that was super exciting. So buyer tickets for that. We also have a show in DC at the 930 Club. The famous 930 Club. You guys have to come see us there. And then we have our second show in Dallas because the first show sold out,

the second show is on sale. We got our show down in Orange County that's happening. That one's already halfway sold out. And then we also have, we're going to Just for Laffes in Vancouver. And we had so much fun over the summer at the Montreal version. We're really excited to go to the Vancouver one

and be with famous people. Oh, did you see this runny? Antony from Queer Eye is going to be just for laughs, Vancouver. Did you see that? Oh, fun times. He's the hot one, you know, who makes like avocado and he's like, he sizes an avocado. It's like here, I taught you how to cook. So he's going to be at just for laughs also. So don't come for us. Come to look at Antony because he is an Ivo in the best way Watch or crap is calm go there scroll down you'll find all the links to all the tickets and your dreams will come true And we're all gonna like do a group hug at every show and cry and become best friends. Well, so sounds good to me I'm in yeah Boston DC Irvine, all those tickets are up for sale.

Yeah. In Texas, Dallas, Dallas, your home state, home state. Dallas, Texas. So now we are onto a city where not a state we're not playing him quite yet. Real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm like into this season Ronnie. I have to say Well, I'm glad you're enjoying something. Thank you. Thank you. It feels so good to enjoy something I'm I'm still like But you know, I always love doing these recaps and stuff But sometimes I'm watching the show and I'm like why why am I watching it? Why am I here? But this one was really cracking yet because they brought crazy ass down the L back tack like a crazy

ass. And you know, she did a good job just being a complete lunatic. And classic margin came right out and didn't take any of this bullshit, which I also loved. So it was kind of a win, win episode for everybody involved. Exactly. Like I feel like some of our favorite housewives franchises are missing some of the crazy that Danielle stop rings and having her on screen. It's like that's what we need, a little bolt of electricity or a jolt in a bolt.

So, I'll give you a jolt in your bolt. Let's start at a dildo store, shall we? We haven't done that enough on the housewives lately, you know? I just hope someone's going to get their vagina tightened today. And because it's a Jersey dildo store, there's like errant balloons on the floor, which was nice, because it's like it probably like doubles as like a dildo store and like a chokishis, you know? You have to be careful, which side your kids are on.

So they go to this place. It's Marge. Classic Marge and Teresa are at this adult store because they've got to pick out novelty toys for Danielle's matcha red party coming up. Yes, and I love how Marge walks through a store in this very jersey, but also has LA at the very end. Because she's like, just a good way to do it. Waiting for my friends to get set for the best and the right party. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thank you. It's just a really pronunciation. Exactly. I mean, this place is perfect for Daniel. I mean, look at this. Can you about him to say bitch and spank me on it?

I mean, I can't. Plastic match. That's my job. I'm tree's like, yeah, I'm going to get this one when job gets home. Just like shoving it in her purse. I know. I was hoping it was like a financial planner, like a ledger. Um, so, yeah. So basically Danielle's been super demanding and margin. Like, I mean, I don't think Meghan Markle was this demanding. And my, my, my right

everyone is classic Meghan Markle joke. Okay. That's for Jen up in heaven. And my my right everyone is classic mega Marko joke. Okay. That's for Joe up in heaven And then she tells us what a nightmare Danielle is being she's calling me to approve everything I don't think mega Marko was just a bad. Oh, yeah. Can anyone take this delta? Can anyone take this delta? Anyone can anybody take this delta? Am I right classic Joe's a huge filter is bigger this bigger than Danielle is bigger than Danielle It's a huge stilta is bigger this big of the dead yell is big of the dead. Yeah, it's a huge huge stilta It's like let's take a pic So naturally Teresa starts talking about Jackie who she now hates because she had the audacity to bring up Jail's is is last well on last week's episode

Yeah, which was great. This is my great. She refers to someone is that woman Yeah, that's Teresa anger right there classic anger. Yeah, she's that woman. She's been around for two minutes two minutes Like okay, and she pipes up and Marge is like a she was to say you can't control your bad I mean, that's all she said you can't control your bad She's like you want to control you man? You know how to control your man. Okay. I'm like, this is the woman who just told everybody last week that her husband locked her in a closet. Okay. Yeah. I don't know that anybody on this cast. That's very tough. Yeah, to say that they know how to control your man. Also, Teresa,

you went to jail because of your man. So if you know how to control your man. Also Teresa, you went to jail because of your man. So if you know how to control your man again, I mean Jackie is a point. Yeah, Jackie is a point. So now Teresa, so and this is the best because Teresa is just like so good at playing the victim and so good at turning literally everything into an anti-malissa thing that she's like, you know, a Jackie set of setzes is she, she said, hey, don't say that to my sisters-in-laws, okay? But it says she just sat there. I'm like, now you're met. Like, what do you want from Melissa at this point? Like, literally everything is like a Melissa problem at this point. She's like, you know, I see there wasn't enough salt on

the on the chicken cotlet. You know what she should have done. She just said, Hey, my sister needs salts and you didn't get she didn't stand up for me for needing salts in my cutlets. Yeah, she's mad at Melissa for not standing up with her with Jackie who she's mad at for not sticking up for her with Melissa. Like what? You're nuts. So large is is like listen here's what I would say I would say Melissa look you look here's what I will say this is what I would say she said listen I will say Melissa said that you don't love her that's how she feels she feels like you don't love her and I've got the clip from a bail of hay to show you to show you right now can we roll the clip clip from where we're at the bail of hey?

And she's like, I don't feel like she's, Melissa's like, I don't feel like Teresa really loves me. I feel like she just puts up with me. And then Teresa totally changes. And she's like, whatever, I don't got a fuck of my brother does. Five seconds ago, you were just saying how you're family.

Yeah. And how you want her to stand up for you. And now you're saying like, whatever. I don't have to fuck her I don't have to do anything and then she goes the way you treat me is the way I treat you Kapish. I'm like, oh my god. We're doing this Kapish thing again that fucking trainer God dammit for introducing Kapish into Teresa's vocabulary. How has Teresa made it this long in faux How has Theresa made it this long in faux, faux Italian culture to not know Kapiche? Yeah, and now it's like non-stop. It's like

Anyway, let's buy some presents for for Danielle. Kapiche No, it doesn't work in every situation. Kapiche. Stop it. Kapiche. I want that to help us. Kapiche It's like no, not so now this is now I love this. The post production department. I love when the post production department does something shady because March goes, okay, it's all right. So what do you need to listen to to make you feel the way you want to be felt? You know, and Teresa goes, she knows what she has to do. And then they cut to two sex toys.

One's called the accommodator and one's a submission mask. I was like, that is amazing. Did you notice that? I didn't put it together like you just did. She's literally gonna buy those toys from Melissa. I'm like, yes, but I want you to do it to me. Do you want me to put this in your ass? No, I want you to accommodate me.

The march is like, all right, well, like, I'm holding dicks in my arms. So. But then you can, you can tell by the way that like. So the editor, the produce, the editors do like a really shady cut away. And then they're like, okay, we're done for the week because then when the scene ends, they cut to this like old stock footage of Jersey. There's like a movie theater and it's playing the big short and Star Wars, like the Force Awakens.

I was like, that's from 2015. The big sort. Yeah, I'm like, I'm surprised it wasn't like, you know, Rain Man and Out of Africa. I mean, can you at least try to update your B-roll footage? I mean, but if they're going to use it, the big shorts are really good one to do it on. It's like, this Joe, he is a big short. It both describes what he looks like physically and career wise.

Yeah. God, he wishes. Man, those people in the big short made out like bandits. Yeah. The Force Awakens is also what happens when you wake up in the morning. The Force Awakens, the Force, Capiche. Okay, so Salaretta, let's go to a strip mall stool called Salaretta. Because Melissa cannot even pay for her own kids' fucking suit. This family, I sort of got everything they get

as free, secondKryl Richards. You know what? It's okay because it meant we got to meet George of Salarada and George. I like, but still my heart. I was like, hello, George. I like George. It's a fan of George. You're like, ah, how can I help you out? But you sort of have like that mussely Italian sort of look, but he was in like a suit that he could barely fit into. I was like, whoo, he's getting hot here at Salaretta. So God help us. So Melissa's like, you can't get married to a woman and let's have a Catholic cat, a kids in Joey.

And he's like, she better be hot, mom like. It was like, well, great. You're raising a little sexual assaultor. Congratulations. Congratulations. This is really not that anyone shocked that these sewer are raising like the classiest fucking kid on the block. Exactly. And she's like, OK, first I need you to try this on.

And she's like, first, can I go choke myself? I was like, Joey. Be nice. She's like, I was a little bright. I look like a little bride in my community. You know how sad it makes me that my dad isn't here to see nothing? I'm like, oh, God, yes, we know you're sad that your dad isn't here for Christ's sake. Get out of the suit store and do something with your life. Can you please go into therapy, Melissa? Like, this is going... I am totally

sympathetic to, you know, the loss of your father. I think that's a trauma it's sad and everything. But now it's like everything. You're like, I can't believe my dad isn't here to hear my little son make his first choking joke. It's like, okay, we need to start. Like furious with the father now because we just found out that the father was constantly cheating on the mother.

It was never even home because he's always off fucking someone else with a mom and some crying so now I'm not really feeling that bad for your father you know but I feel bad for this me off and then yeah but I feel bad for those daughters because they I they clearly idolize me like my dad did nothing but love us they absolutely love that same time he's cheating on the mom like this is like we need therapy. These ladies have had a little bit of a mind-fuck from this whole situation, which is fine. But you just start getting treated, because you're about to go on some crazy dog and pony

show, search for a sister who probably doesn't even exist. Okay, I think... I hope it's Rosie. I hope the end is just Rosie. Oh, fuck it. I hope it's Kim D. I hope it's Kim D or Kim G Both of whom we got clips of this this week. Wait, did we? I don't think I felt like it Facebook guests, you know when I see those dead trees in the old stock footage of New Jersey I'm like, oh my god. Look at all those Kim Dees. Oh wait, those are trees. So then Melissa, you know, because Melissa is really only wanting to bring everything to positive places. She's like, hey, Joey, doesn't this remind

you of the chrysaning? And then we get a clip of that epic episode where Joe and Melissa were introduced to us at their daughter's christening and uh sorry, their son's christening. Oh, it's Joey's, it's little Joey's. Yeah. I'm just like, walk on, walk on garbage to Teresa. Great family values here. Yeah. So now speaking of family, we now go to powerhouse gym, which I believe is, it's the Laura's is gym that she has with mass and she's entering. She's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, like to every customer who walks by. Hi, hi, hi, hi, you know what?

I'm going to get a protein shake and dot this cookie. See what I'm doing here, ma'am. I'm saying no to the cookie. And the mom's like, I already had breakfast anyway. So. Okay, ma'am, what are we going to do with this shake? I'm going to put it on a cookie. No, ma, no, ma, no, what are we gonna do with this shake? Gonna put it on a cookie. No, Ma, no, Ma.

You can't even put a shake on a cookie anyway. Huh? Well, I thought I'd try. And I love that she's expecting her mom to resist everything, but her mom doesn't. She's like, her mom goes, what is it? What is in here? She says, it's chocolate, way with almond milk and ice, Ma. She's like, it's good. Yeah, it's good. It's like a little cookie.

It's somewhere between cookie and cupcake. I like it. I also get the feeling though that Valerie pleasantly enjoys anything she eats. She's just, you know, you give her a sparrows. This is good. I like it. This is very nice. Give her like some like unformed cement. I like this. It's got a good crunch to it Thank you. Thank you. It's like casually. It's like a video game character. This is good too. It's like feed balleray. I like it This is nice. This is nice. Confirms her storyline for the season. I have to teach my mom what's healthy eating to eat? her storyline for the season. I have to teach my mom what's healthy eating to eat. She has no idea, but she knows life better than anyone. Don't ask me how. She's never left the same 15 square mile. She

was born in, but she is very smart. I was like, okay, so we went from your season of redoing the kitchen to the season of trying to tell your mom what to eat. Yeah. She's basically like, so I mean, I got this new game called Necko Valerie and you put out food and toys on the backyard and you just wait for your mom to show up and play with the balls and stuff and take pictures.

You know, I don't know. My mom hasn't traveled very much but she's amazing at Miss Pac-Man. So. You ever played River Raid? she's amazing at Miss Pac-Man. So you have a play Rither Raid? She's great at it. So then Dolores, her B storyline comes up. She's like Frankie's coming home ma and Valor is like how about David? Doesn't he make you happy when he gets home? Don't you got somebody to make you happy?

She's like well he's not a big help. he comes home one day a week at 9.30. Then he works so 1.30. He's married to his work on his married to his work, with despite the way it's delicious. It's good. Yeah, but you know what? He has a motorcycle in his living room. It's very modern.

He thinks that's the box. You know what I got to say? You know what I have in my living room? Nothing. Emptiness. Because no one's here to visit me. Frank's always in Florida and Frank. He's in college. I just got my kitchen island and honestly, it's not so bad sometimes, but lots of times I got lonely like where's man's where's boo? Where are you? Where's anyone? Okay. I'm alone. I'm alone. It's hard to think of my pretzel shake is half full. You know what I'm saying? I have that half.

I have that half. You know what I do, ma? I go up into my bedroom and I look at the poster for Ben is back and pretend it's anyone. And I say anyone is back and I just miss it. I print it. Pretend it's me hugging anything, anything, anyone in that poster. So next we go to Jackie and her hot husband. And she's just unwrapping shit she bought to feed her family from the Greek restaurant

down the street or whatever. I say, I don't got a passion for cooking. I'm not putting a nice warm meal out for my family every night, but my kids are showering a fed. So what are you going to do? Take them away. Go ahead. Yeah. So she's like, she's like dumping all this food into plates and everything because Joe and Melissa come over for dinner. And they're like, it's so quiet. Where are your animal children? Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? We're on Bravo. All the children are supposed to be animals. She's like, nah, have the nanny take them to the diner. That's like, it's like heaven on earth. And they're like, they're happiest place in the world as the diner.

And when she said that, I actually got like so felt so warm inside because I remember being a kid. And like, when you're a kid going to the diner truly is the best place on earth. So when she said that, I was like, oh my god, she really gets it. Like I'm really loving Jackie. Well, Mel and Joe, they come over and Joe's like, I need to drink. Whoa, those are come fuck me, boo, family. Like you were a fucking pig, dude. You're disgusting. I miss that. And she goes, oh stop. We don't even even know these people please don't talk to sex talk so then jacky answers the door and he's like and he sticks his finger up her ass i mean he's fucking he's disgusting how is no one protesting in the streets

over the show yet because we're too busy having sexual fantasies about him instead we're objectify that's the revenge that we all objectify him we're objectifying the object's the revenge that we all objectify him. We're objectifying the objectifier. Now lose the soul. You learn just got up off the cap scared and ran to the bedroom. You're like, I'm doing it too. You said Joe, Joe, Gorgah is like, when am I going to get used to this? So now they start talking about the drama from last week's episode when Jackie spoke up to To Theresa and Jack is like listen. I'm a professional journalist. Okay, I'm used to people not liking what I write

I'm like, okay Jackie. I like you, but you like right like a column and like You know the penny saver Like let's settle down Diane Sawyer Yeah, she's like I get off on it. I get off when people don't like what I say. And she's like, well, look, here's, then she tells that she has a sister. She's like, I don't get into family drama

because me and my sister are four years and so we never got along. We took like sibling fights times 10, like to the different level, like new levels of instability. And after a while, I decided it was easy. I just not to have that tension. And Melissa's like, you don't talk. And she's like, now she goes, well, no one has a perfect family.

You know, but if Joe and his sister get in an argument, it falls back on mean, that's what I don't like. That is, you know, it's, it was so funny because there's something like seriously fucked up when Jackie said that she doesn't talk with her sister. And at this point, we don't even realize it's been 15 years. But she based is like quietly like, yeah, I don't have a relationship with my sister. Emma says, like, you don't talk. Anyway, back to me, I think she just like exposed some craziness in her family. I didn't even hear

it. Yeah, but it's her house-wise plot line. So we'll get to hear it 97,000 more times. But Melissa, Joe, don't care anyway. So then Joe, when Melissa was trying not to tell Joe about the fight last week, she doesn't, quote unquote, want to make it worse for him and his sister. But of course it comes out now. And so then we cut away to Joe and like super close up again. And he's like, you know what? It doesn't surprise me that my sister was running a mouth again.

That's all she does is run a mouth. And you know what? I'm so used to it just goes over my head. It just goes over my head. I'm like, well, to be fair, I think pretty much everything goes over your head. Um, yeah. Pretty much. Because he's sure. That's pretty much. That guy close.

Because he's sure. That's why the camera's so close. They're like, this is much of your head as we could possibly get on camera without buying a new tripod. There. They're literally using the special cameras from Planet Earth to be like the caterpillar.

How does it nest? Whatever. So, no, it's so mean. We should be making fun of the caterpillar has a nest. Whatever. So, you know, it's so mean. We should be making fun of the fact that he's short, but at least he's mousely. Well, hey, I make up for it by dating short guys. I love short guys. I don't understand short guy rage, you know.

Like, short guys are all upset about it. And then people, girls are always like, I'll only date someone six four at a time. And I've never understood that. Like, what the hell is wrong with short guys? Well, whatever. Yeah, I don't, yeah, when I was dating, I never had a problem dating short.

I once, when I hooked up with a guy who was like, five, one, whatever, it's, you know what happens, it's fine. It's not, it's not a deal breaker for me. Yeah, it's just weird, it's just so, height, it's just a weird thing to be weird. High, am I right? High, my right. So just like, it's just a, it's a height. It's just a weird thing to be weird. Hi, am I right? Hi, my right. Hi, my right.

So, it's like, well, good luck. Cause she's probably got voodoo dolls. Are you a Melissa right now? And then he starts ripping off the bread. Yeah. I secretly was so amused by Joe's reaction when he heard what Jackie said to me. So he's like, oh shit.

He's like, oh no. I can't believe she said this to my sister. Oh, this will be hilarious. Yeah, she's like I'm not afraid of her all New York times harassing the hot beat. So Dolores is at home. Guess what? Cooking cooking something for a man. Look what the hell steaming something for a man. Well, you know, that's what I do every day. I put something on the stove and cook and maybe someone shows up and you know what, you know, 12 days out of the year, it actually works. So, Frankie has officially turned into his father.

He comes home. He's humongous. He can't fit in any kind of car that's on the market. He's way too big, like literally too big for real. Really on the charts. He's even talking like this now like his dad. He's got a little... I know.

It makes me sad because he was so cute and like he was musely but cute also but now he's just turned into a big old like he literally looks like something from like that's made by hostess you know and so he apparently is bulking because he's going to be in the same like fitness bodybuilding show that trees his in and they made it sound like maybe I heard it wrong they made it sound like, maybe I heard it wrong, they made it sound like the show is like next week, but it can't be, right? It's soon, it's like within, I don't know,

because when did they say, when did they say Teresa's thing for 30 days or something? Hers is after Daniel's wedding, that's wise. But either way, I'm like, because he's like shoving live alligators into his mouth. And it's like, I feel like, um, like, he's like, you know, shoving, you know, live alligators into his mouth. And it's like, I feel like you should be at the cutting stage, not the bulking stage. You have a show coming up. Even I know this because, you know, we saw those two crazy trainers.

Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure what he's supposed to be doing, but I do know he has trouble going upstairs. I do know that if he were a fallover and hit some pins, there's a good chance you could say strike. Yeah. Wreck it Ralphie. So he's like, yeah, ma. I wait, nine hundred pounds, yeah.

I'm like, oh my God, someone is gonna have to start hosting you down. Like you're gonna have to move home soon. And so she's so proud of him because he's finally ready for a show. And then Dolores is like, yeah, big Frank, like he hates kids. He doesn't really like babies when they come out of the vagina. Like, he basically waits until they're old and they can worried out.

Now, now he's friends with Frankie. I'm like, this is the saddest storyline I've ever heard. Okay. And we've seen a lot of sadness on Jersey. Yeah. This is true. So, you know, while they're talking, Frankie casually mentions, like, yeah, dad told me when he was this barred, like, as soon as it happened, he called me up, I mean, he pretty much skyped me into the session when he lost his lot of license.

And he was like, what? Frank said, he didn't tell anyone, but he told Frankie, yeah, once again, my trust is broken. He's like my cabinet's broken at all times. Yeah, and he's like, look, I'm like you. I don't like to get disrespected. And she's like, yeah, well, you're dead to be able

to fight that one, that scumbag piece of shit. So next up is Marge getting picked up by Melissa and her new rental. Melissa, look, no one believes that you got a damn dime in your bank account. You don't have to pretend with us, okay? Get yourself something you can forget at Toyota, something or a highlander maybe. That's like something upper middle class.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, but no one believes that you own a Bentley, okay? Yeah. So stop. Yeah. So they're're gonna go, they're heading over to see Danielle and Melissa saying how she hasn't really talked to Teresa because there's tension, et cetera. And Margaret tells Melissa that Teresa is all pissed at her for not standing up for her or to Jackie. You know, it's like catching up, catching up with, you know, all the gossip, et cetera. And Margin has now decided that she's

going to host a brunch because she thinks it'll be therapeutic for everyone, which I don't think in the history of anything, um, Bravo has a brunch ever been therapeutic for anyone or anything. But I think the cast is this problematic as we are. I thought it might be fed to do something where we could all wear dark facial masks together. Yeah, really put you up. Yeah. I'll blow up here. So then we see Danielle, a K Miss Habersham, basically looking through her like champions was like, well, this is nice. Champagne.

I think I'll use this. Yeah. She's nice and crystal. I'm sure. Yeah. She's like, I mean, come on. Like it was just so like, it was just hilarious how she was like, hand picking out every flute, you know, for the, for fine company coming.

Very ridiculous. I was so happy. Like I was like, just laughing. I just saw her with that intensity staring at, she was staring at those champion flutes like it was Caroline Manzo. And the way she just stared at it, I was like, Daniel stop is full on trash. And I love her for it. Like I am like, she stop is full on trash and I love her for it.

Like I am like, she's exhausting trash. So she's exhausting. She's like when you order too much from Amazon and then you have all these boxes, you have to figure out what to do with exhausting trash. Yeah. Yeah. No, she's literally like the, yeah, exhausting trash. Exhausting trash.

I'm like you're checking your crystal. Last time you checked crystal was in this strip club doing a polyp check on a girl named Crystal. Like please stop acting like you're in Bout-Mabbie. Okay, ma'am. I know. Mrs. Oh, I forgot all their names now. O'Brien, I don't know.

I thought like your members O'Brien. O'Brien and- No, that was the maid. I know. Oh, you think I'm elevating her to upstairs? Well, she's elevating herself to upstairs. No, she's the maid, Jack and the mage are us queens. I just sound dead, mage. Okay, fine. She's-

That's Mrs. O'Brien. Miss Grant them. What's her face? Lord Grant them- the American. That's what she is. Never truly accepted. Oh, Lord. Oh, what was his name? Grant and Moses. It's ruining my entire impersonation. I just want you to know. I had a great one line.

I haven't finished out in Abby's. I refuse to learn. I know. There's a different from a housewife. So I ain't going to learn their names until like season two. Okay. Oh, Isabella. Okay okay so Teresa comes over I'm just they get they get to they get to Marjor to Danielle's house and Melissa is just full-on giving Danielle what she needs you know she's like hello Miss broad congrats on this house yeah thank you all that. Merge is like, I've played that, I've played that. And she's like, this is what we call the blue room. Thanks, Picasso. And I love him, Melissa says it's so you.

It's so you, just sort of cold and sad and oddly themed. Cause when material was pornographic, they used to call it blue back in the day. Like, oh, that was a really cool blue joke, man. So Danielle's like, should we should we pull some line and go into the great room? The great room. That's the room that has like three extra pieces from Marshalls in it. I don't want a good room. I want a great room. Why am I over here feeling like the scum of the earth on the bottom of your shoe just waiting to get picked off? Oh, I see. So suddenly you're in my house and you're going to just take all the seats on the Jennifer convertible. Okay, when do I get to feel like the pride. By the way, for those of you who don't keep up with our good friends, Sashamadiyah, Danielle's husband left her and has been trying to get her kicked

out of this house for months now, and she's refusing to leave claiming squatters rights. So just, you know, spoil alert. Welcome to my blue room. It's where I do all my best squatting. So then she makes Melissa open wine because every little thing is going to make her feel powerful and she's she's finally back on house to have she thinks she's getting finally getting a bravo wedding that's paid for and she's going to just really make everyone pay. Yeah, so they're there to talk about the Basharrett party and Marge wants to do a great Gatsby theme at which point I'm surprised Danielle was like great Gatsby. I want the best Gatsby

It's like I don't know Danielle The great room Gatsby I'm in I want everybody to dress like slutty versions of my couch pillows I'm surprised her couch pillows don't have feathers. I'm actually surprised that she doesn't dress her couch pillows up like they're flappers. No kidding. Well, my mom actually does have feathers all over her pillow. So keep my, stop calling my mother an extrepper, dad. So she's like, she's like, okay, this great, whatever you're going to call it party, I need to be perfect. Okay, I only want dairy and gluten-free options.

And at first when she said that, I thought she wanted only dairy and then also gluten-free options, I was like, well, it's a really specific request. I want, I realize. I want a non-bredable, farty party. Okay, so what I want. I want long tubes of pasta that are made with chickpea flour.

It's like the environment for my party needs to be expensive. And I have a tough list, ladies. Like, who are you and why are you wearing dustpans as eyelashes, man? You just get a smile. It's just like, I want really nice gifts. And you know what? It's just time to be kicking into high gear. You know, you need to be texting me in the morning and saying, count down now. Okay, I need to know how much time is left.

Okay. And most of us is like so as servants. She's like, yes. I need someone every single day to come to my house and tear off the latest page of my far side calendar, okay? That's when the cows talk anyway. I'll tell you the far side. It's the great side. So she's like Melissa right now. Did you see what she asked me? She said what do I do? I told the run screw wine

You ladies you answer the phone every time I call And you give me yeah, so before we get to March She also says that she has a red a bridal registry that's only Chanel Versace and like, it was, yeah, I mean. So, you know what, she needs, I think that March really needs to, needs to really see got different bridal registry options. If you know what I'm saying, Ronnie, you know what I'm saying? It's time for commercial. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a

full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. The crap in's commercial. Zola takes the stress out of wedding planning with free wedding websites. You dream wedding registry, affordable safety data invitations, and easy to use planning

tools. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, conveniently manage everything online in one place. Save so much time for couples. Like I don't even know I do this stuff for Danielle. Okay, when there's a lot here for me to do it for me. Okay, like first of all, you can start with a free wedding website. It's like it's so easy. It takes just like minutes to set up.

But there's like a hundred beautiful wedding website designs to choose from that for any couple of styles, even every type of wedding, even Danielle's. Okay, it's crazy. Okay, and you can put your Zola registry on your wedding website so guests can get all the details they need and buy your wedding gift in one convenient and beautiful place. I'd like to add beautiful, beautiful, okay.

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crap ends Thanks, Zola Okay, so back here, so Daniel's like you need to call me you need to answer every time I call you girl you I'm upset with she tells smarts Oh my gosh, she goes like my expectations with that you would check in and make sure that I'm doing okay.

I'm getting married and let me tell you something. It was a really lonely day when I had my fitting and my alterations all by myself in the back of the Stein mart. And they're like, what are you talking about? Like we're all with you. There's literally like, we have photographic evidence that we all went with you to get the gown She's like no our wedding got a second gown. I know it was all alone for my alterations

Most likely didn't even know it's like you should a call It would be nice to get a call asking if I'm getting a new trance. Hello Like completely Newtrads hello! Hello! She's like completely cuckoo. The fact that she's channeling Ziggy Flicker is so delicious to me, like, get the best of the best slash worst of Ziggy Flicker but put it into Danielle form, that's all I need. That's all I want, dude! The marght is like, how the fuck was I supposed to know you was getting alterations? So I'm supposed to know you're getting a second draft, she goes, you know I was getting

a new count. When I would get alterations on it, did you think about that? I want to be cool. I want to be checked on. When do I get to feel like a bride? Is that a getting attacked? And not at like a dog with a fucking ball? I'm like she literally was not there to oversee a tailor sticking a pen in your dress

And she's like why not call me why not break this silence and call the bride She's literally acting like like she's talking about like breaking the silence of like physical assault on women or something like like It's just like it's like how like hilariously self-involved. Yeah, she is really going nuts. So then Marge just loses. She's like, you know what, the way you just spoke to me is disgusting. Just disgusting.

So I shouldn't register as a bride. You know what, no, no, you should say is no gifts and loof gifts I'm gonna donate to charity because you have a house full of shit and this is such a shit. And it's your second wedding. So yeah, you're a fucking bride-zilla and you're being an asshole. I'm filming. I'm fucking human. That's it. That's it. I can't do it anymore.

Classic Joan, classic Joan Ranch right there. Yeah, and I'm glad she said that because that is major balls having your second wedding and asking for gifts when you're living in a fucking. That's not what it is. Gifts are supposed to be given on what it's like to build your first home together, you know, that tradition comes from like 20 year olds getting probably 15 year olds getting together and needing some needing some donkeys in the yard to make milk or whatever. You heard it your first people, the history of guests. So so now but somehow like Danielle like springs up. I started with Donkey milk people. So Danielle springs up. I started with Donkie milk people

So Danielle springs up because she realizes that she pushed a little too hard She's like no, no, I'm sore. I'm sorry and so then they're like hugging and like marbles like yelling at her But she's sort of smiling too, so I wasn't laughing that it's because she has nowhere to go Like she literally doesn't know how to get out of this house She's there. I've got the great room into the blue room and I don't even know what to do I'll tell you what I blew my my chance to have any good friendship with this woman. That would just pass back and forth. I'm literally pacing a wall of horse.

You know, I'm laughing. You're towards painting somewhere. Oh, of course. I don't know whether to laugh or cry right now, because Danielle's stupid, great room is finished before Joe's even finished ours. I can't. And Danielle's like I'm like listen you dried up engaged 19 goddamn time racist

You were picked up like a piece of squashed gum under a bowling alley ball rack and given a house and a second chance at life. How about you stop your fucking crying and get down on your knees and thank Jesus right now. Okay. Yeah. Or as Teresa said, when they made up, I'm happy. So now, I was like, wow, we haven't seen enough awful people this episode. Let's go over to Jennifer's house, where her kids are just screaming, being just awful trolls right now, just spoiled brats,

because it's almost dinner time, but they're waiting for Bill to come home. He's like, ooh, what's the office there? Ooh there it looks like it'll be a little bit late I'm sorry I'm late but I was at the office waiting for a permission slept to give a woman new facial features from her husband most important person in the family I would come home but I'm eagerly waiting the next issue of entertainment weekly to put in the waiting room. Park kids are monsters, okay? They're running around squealing and screaming like little consumers they are. And one of the kids comes up to her and he's like,

and I have a snack, I'm hot. Which is hilarious. I predict heart trouble in your future. Okay. Yeah. So she calm you down after playing too much. So she takes them all outside. So that would think it's like run off their energy.

They're on sort of like the tennis court basketball court, whatever it is. And she has this one girl who's like, like a hilarious little demon. She's like the second coming of Milan yet in sort of the best way and she's like okay go now okay go like I'm gonna throw the ball at you and you catch it little girl and the girl is like no girls don't play basketball. And she's like what do you who told you that? And she goes I'm learning how to be a princess. Like so like demonic and spoiled but I like just could not stop laughing. And she's wearing a little Jackie O dress with little pearl necklace.

I mean, so funny. So then Jennifer's like, okay, kids, here's what we're going to do. Three first person to get three shots in her nose and get anything they want from Amazon. The kids of course line up and like her one kid gets like right under the basket and does three easy layups. And like when he hits the third one, he isn't like, yes, oh my god, yay. And like no one's like, oh my god, you did it. He just like gets it and he turns and goes, mom, what do I get from Amazon?

I was like, you little turpish. You can ask kicking from Amazon. Okay. God, this woman is why everyone hates America. Which seriously, you see never really about her. I know, but you know what though? Can you help it if it goes to your head having that beautiful view of Paramis and the mall?

The sun sets. Oh, yeah, it's just terrible. So Dolores is over at home steaming some food for another man. This one big Frank and he's like, hey, oh Looks great So healthy look at that. She's just not What's going on? You want to know the truth? I'm having a bad day. Yeah, I said it. Can you believe it? I said it Yeah, cuz I was talking to Frankie and I didn't realize you told him before me about

the set and he's like, I didn't tell you because you took a worse than the kids and she just, I've been through everything with you. You should get me the common respect and it's like, now you're talking at you, right? See, they ain't about respect. And he goes, Frank, I tell you everything. I tell you whether I'm hot, whether I'm cold. He's like, yes, you really do. And we have to talk about that.

I don't really need to know what temperature you're at because I've gotten my 35-tex from you today. Hey, Frank, that's a little warm right now. Hey, Frank, I'm in a new room. I feel okay. Mm. He's like, you've breached the trust again, Frank. And he's like, there's no sense.

All right, you know what? I gotta go. Because I got got to go. Because I got stuff to do. Mostly passing a kidney stone through this 19 pound hemorrhoid I've had. If it's a star working out with us four years old. Hey, you need this toaster? My Frank, well, I'm gonna sort of separate the wires and go upstairs and have a hard attack. I need to sort of revive me a little bit with myself a little zap. And then he leaves and she's left all mad in her new kitchen. It's like, great. I got two men in my life and I never felt so low. What the fuck am I doing wrong?

I'm eviscerated, eviscerated. So now we go over to Jackie's house. And this is sort of to me very funny and telling. And I think this is why this stuff was, this is why the Jennifer scene was edited into this episode because Jackie's kids are all there and she's got all this food because this could be a big family dinner and she's got stuff from a Greek restaurant and there's a big chaffer full of pizzas and so she gives her son who's probably I don't know eight or something like that she gives him the chaffer or the tin and she's like all right you think

you can bring that all the way to the table? He's like, oh, he like picks it up. He's like, oh, he gets it to the table. And they're like, yeah, they're like all cheer. And I was like, see, now this is how it's supposed to be. Like, they kids are cheering each other on. He's like happy to do the tour without a complaint, not asking for like a reward, bringing Peter to the table.

Yeah, he thought was really cute. And I will add for no reason at all, that something good about these two new families is that they are definitely products of their parents. You know? Jennifer's kids. Oh my god. No one is gonna think they came from anyone with those two.

And Jackie's kids are the same way. I mean, that little kid looks exactly like his dad. I mean, it's creepy almost like his little tiny version of it. Well, the thing is that like that Jackie and her husband sort of look alike. So it's like, it just looks like one like common gene pool and speaking of which. So there's an knock at the door and Jackie's dad shows up. Barry Mock and I'm like, who is this person just watching this house? This guy is hilarious.

This like multicolored jacket in a hat and this facial hair in the glasses. What? It looked like a saxophone. It's from the subway just wandered in. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, green and blue, I just kept writing them, everything I saw coming onto my TV. Like keep writing, keep writing. It was a lot to take in. It was a lot and it was hilarious.

And then just when we'd had, we'd like sort of like grown accustomed to Barry Mark. Here comes his wife and B Mark, which I mean, they should just be doing like some lounge somewhere. Like they should be performing like keys Hey, welcome to the welcome to the musical styleings of the max starring Barry Mackin is lovely wife and be Mac And be Mac the knife yeah, they are married and very happily married

But they live separately because they don't like living with each other So don't tell Deandra that God, I would get married if that could be the case She's like I love my parents, but this slightly banana Yeah, and then her brother comes over Eric and he's really cute. He's learning disabled and he seems like a really nice guy comes over with his wife or girlfriend. I mean, it's the whole family. I was like, whoa. It's the wife and she's sort of cookie too.

Like, I feel like if you go over to the brother in the sister-in-law's house, like you go in and there's like weird shoe boxes stacked up and like sheet music around for no good reason. Like, like, like, ride bread on tables. Like, I just think like this, I want to see their house. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, she seems to have like a really cool big family. And he's like,

quirky. Like, quirky, but I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm out of the table and he's like, hey guys, the head of the table, get it. That was like, yep, that's definitely an uncle right there. Yeah, I've got those uncle's jokes right now. I need some salsa, someone get me the salsa. I need the salsa.

Hey, someone get me on B-marks and salsa. I need the salsa. Oh, that was good, good salsa. Good salsa. Thank you for it. She's like, thanks for dinner, honey. She's like, oh, in the fairness, I didn't make a thing. And Eric's like, we're happy you ordered.

Trust me. Like, they are on their own little, like, cable accessor right now that plays in the cat skills. Truly. So she's going to give her mama makeover. And then she takes her mom to the kitchen. And she's like, I want your opinion my Seriously, I'm thinking of recon filing with my sister and she's like, oh, I would love All I've been hoping for if I knew was just gonna take a camera crew

I would add air I put a couple of ballerets. Yeah, he is the girl You know what family is so important. You know, I lost all my family in the Holocaust So why it's important for me to have a big family That's why you're a father and I don't live in the same house But we learned that so Jackie I thought it was just that she and her sister weren't close But they haven't talked in 15 years which is that's really crazy. I can't even imagine that Sounds nice. Hey I can't even imagine that.

Sounds nice, eh? I mean, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding my sister's my best friend. So more, no offense. So, Morris have the welcome to the historic classy town of Morris town New Jersey. I know. It's time for the classiest, best rep party you've ever been to. Helded in an event space called space. Is it?

I thought it said space outside, but I could be wrong. You know, there's a lot of complexities. held in an event space called space. Is it? I thought it said space outside, but I could be wrong. You know, there's a lot of complexities. So they're there. It's been put together by El Vierre, the party planner. I think we've seen El Vierre before in past seasons of New Jersey. I think there was even rumors

she could become a cast member. Well, I guess time will tell El Vierre. Well, no, it was like a few seasons ago, she's gonna be a cast member. I could be wrong, but that seems like it was triggering something in me now. It was too lazy to look it up. So I thought I would just spout it out on the podcast

and let everyone else correct me. Well, it looks very Jersey in here. It looks very photon. In all past, so that was like the laser tag place. It looks very like laser tagging in there. And everyone's got their great, great Gatsbyby clothes on and there's a sign that says find last one penis forever or something and I was like have you guys met Danielle? Yeah yeah that's not gonna last I know this is kind of a cover all sign but it doesn't cover all okay

yeah so we see Karen and Laura. Why did I write down Karen and Laura? Who's a who are Karen and Laura? Because anything, Marge says I write it down to you. Cause I'm like, I'm sleeping somewhere, but it doesn't. She's like,

do you know Karen and Laura? Does that look amazing? Come, come on. Put a tick in the mouth. Look, we brought Jody number one and Jody number two. And then Marge senior comes in and she's like, Hi, I was gonna use this straw, but it doesn't go with wine. It's like, he just goes swabbled with everything by.

He does. And then I forgot to check in with you, because I was afraid you would get very, very triggered at what happened next. What happened? Did you notice? I don't think you noticed. I don't think I did either. Because you would have definitely noticed.

I got my extra surprise. If you had noticed, you would have been screaming right now. Oh, it was it Jill Zarian. Yes. You know, I did not notice that. Jill Zarian was there. I did not notice that, but somebody told me on the TV party stream, they're like,

did you see Jill Zarian? And I was triggered. I started screaming and yelling. I was like, Jill Zarian, get a job. Yeah, Jill Zaren was there, but they didn't give her, they didn't say something, they didn't even do something like Danny L's friend Jill. She just was there. And I think you spotted her. You spotted her. It was easy to miss her because everyone there sort of looked like Jill Zaren. So, yeah, Trees shows up. And's like I have no wonder we as on

I don't know on the way I speak Blink blink blink blink. We say healthy stuff to eat because I can't have rice They're like well, there's mac and cheese and you see a guy like the chef stirring some mac and cheese in the middle of like a Parmesan round She's like Yeah, that looks exactly like what I can't have. Like the first time ever that Teresa actually showed a spark of judgment.

Well, it's gluten and dairy-free mac and cheese. That seems like an on-off shift. It's true. Yeah. So then speaking of cameos from the past, none other than Christine arrives. Christine, we hadn't seen her in many, many years. We saw Christine's sister, whose name I forgot last season when Teresa had to go apologize

to her. And Christine hates Teresa as of last year. I don't know what her feeling is now, but Christine showed up looking, I mean, gorgeous. I mean, this girl is, she is beautiful. And she looked like she hated everything about this party. Yeah, she's like Why do I why is my mother doing this again? And now she's wearing some other loser. This is awesome guys. Thanks for celebrating Yeah, and Teresa's like wow look at you Christine's just staring at her like your garbage. You're pure garbage. Yeah,'s like, it's amazing how time can change everything.

Blink, blink, blink. Like a hard time. So this is a school and basically yeah, there's a friend who's like, I'll write everybody guys around. That's Elvira. Yeah. Daniel, let's introduce Daniel. and the sheet doesn't come down So she's like yeah, yeah

And then there's the sheet drops and there's Danielle on a hoop It's like my super sweet 61, you know, so she's just like descending down on you know this like Stupid thing and then it's like dancing fun times, Basher at party, at which point then Melissa starts talking to Danielle and asking her about how the wedding is going and everything. And Danielle's like, well, I'm nervous. You know, with Marty, the peaks and their valleys, and when you come together at our age, there are lots of peaks and lots of valleys. Mainly valleys, deep, wide, instrumentable valleys. And when you come together at, you know, at our age, there are lots of peaks and lots of valleys, mainly valleys, deep, wide, instrumentable valleys. Can't wait to get married. You know, I was really having a problem with him when he literally called my

vagina a valley. They said, boy, he is that how you want to start this one? You know, I really didn't like it when he said how deep is your valley. And I, you know, I really didn't like it when he said, how deep is your valley? And I, you know, I thought he was making a VHS recommendation, turns out he was making a value judgment on my vagina. Didn't appreciate it. Didn't appreciate it. So I got cut off for the last minute here. What happened to the last minute?

Oh, oh, well, let me tell you. So first, the strippers come out. They're all very thick, thick strippers come out. They're all very thick strippers. They were like, there's one guy puts Daniel in a chair and then just starts swinging Daniel around in her chair. I mean, I thought she was going to go flying into a wall. And he's wearing like not stripper underwear. He's like just wearing his Calvin Klein's and like Black Sox. It was like the most low-rent stripper. They were all sort of like, you might have liked them because I know you said you like a guy with like a little some on them, you

know. So they all definitely had a little some on them. Marge senior was like shoving dollars into this. There's this one sexy black stripper that she was shoving dollars into. And then eventually Danielle finds Teresa and she starts, you know, basically poking at Teresa. I mean, like, so what's going on with you and Melissa? And so Teresa starts bitching to Danielle about how Joe doesn't visit and help out with no-no and Danielle's like, and you have a lot on your plate. You've got four kids and you've got in Joe's and jail.

You know, you need Joey to help you out. I can't believe that you, you know, if you basically, you need Joey to help you out. I can't believe that she basically is like kissing up to reason everything. And then Teresa's like, and then now we got this bitch Jackie, and she tells the Jackie story, and Danielle's like, way to overstep, she really overstepped.

I'm shocked, I'm shocked. I just saying everything. And then Danielle literally goes, well if Melissa's not gonna stand up for you I got you baby, which oh no it was just like a such a transparent like I'm on your side keep me on this show Melissa's bad for you. Let's do this So it was hilariously like clunky Kate like asking to be on the show and I loved every second of it. Oh my god Well, that was a fun episode

That was why don't we move on to crap and mailbag real quickly because we haven't done this in a little bit And we have questions that we still have to answer. Okay, ready to do this. Yeah One dang dang dang dang dang dang dang dang dang dang dang I One ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding it wasn't playing. It was playing. That is. Yeah, see me over here dancing in my cubicle, but oh, yeah, that is like, honestly, the root of thing that's ever happened that the music will play for you and not for me. Yeah, whatever. Okay. So crap, it's mail bag, questions from everyone. We have so many questions. We're going to get through them all, everyone. So we had like Thanksgiving and a Nashville. So we're going to keep we're going gonna keep plugging through everyone.

So here we go. This is from Christine Zerkelbach. She says, I decided to rephrase this since I'm new at Mailbag. Dueling meltdowns along the lines of Dueling Banjos, Bethany versus Shannon. So let's do a Bethany and Shannon meltdown in the style of dueling banjos. Which one do you want to be? Bethany and Shannon, I'll be, I don't know, those are both bent classics. Well, they're both Ronnie classics. So I would say you take which you'd prefer. Um, I'll do Shannon. Okay. Um, you were cheated, cheated, cheated, brand. I need my salmon salmon with cream cheese. Skinny girl, a skinny girl. David David. Who's the new woman David? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm trying to be better to myself. I'm trying hard not to be mad at David, but at the same time I have 30 to 40 negative thoughts about David every single day.

And I guess I think about David every day. And he has my children on some days and I'm very happy. And I'm not going to be like that. I'm a very good friend and I didn't realize that my friend will be so hard on you, Cameron. I'm just trying to be better and better and better. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. He happy happy happy. He I'm on my bike. I work at my extra side. I love how the weight I'm not happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. Here's a light champagne. But or killed by a banjo. I'm not a banjo. But the salmon. Well, it's inside for cream. She's turned that was a banjo.

With a second sign, I got beat out, damn it. What's the matter? What's happening? What's going on? Literally seriously. But don't. I think that really I think captured that song quite well. Thank you, Christine Zartobach.

Your first question was so abstract that it became amazing. Okay, I feel like some of these questions I've asked but I can't tell. Let's see. Oh, as long as we're doing musicals, why don't we go to Jessica Raleigh who says, can you perform, can't help falling in love as your favorite proper celebrity fool rushing in? fool rushing in. Um, I can't help falling in love. Wise men say only fools rush into y'alls, but I can't help falling in love with Cabaret! Go cheese bowls and a pen julam. I swing back and forth, falling in love with Shaggy who's not fuzzy, but a newer version

of Jiggy that doesn't have alopecia but a little heavier to hold which will probably kill can early. Some people say that you only drink out of a wine glass with no stem but I always say I want one wine glass with a stem and another 12 glass with a lime inside and another glass with water and oyes. So in the end, my couch got redine. Oh! Hey, baby, then baby, then baby, baby! Hey, eggs! Well, it loves with a marathon! Hey! I met you like these songs, they make me sing.

Okay, you remember. Okay, let's do one more. Let's see. I'm not sure if you're going to be playing with me. Let's do one more. Let's see. Okay. Alison King has a very straightforward question. What do you think puppy the buffalo has been up too lately? Puppy the buffalo has been really trying to avoid all of the

Danny cams and stuff that's in the room because ever since puppy buffalo happened, Jimmy has been trying to figure out whether baby is so smart and how he can seem to see into other worlds. Yeah. And so puppy buffaloes had to be much sneakier. I feel like puppy the buffalo has been advising Jolie lately because Jolie has been like before going to bed saying little prayers like, dear God, I don't know if anyone's there to listen to me, but I wish we could solve the homeless problem, and I wish I could get a part in next year's musical. It means a lot to me. If you could send a sign,

I don't know. I feel like I'm losing hope, and then puppy the buffalo appears before Jolie, it says, Jolie, don't worry, there's much hope to be heard. You will have a beautiful part, there's much hope to be had. You will have a beautiful part, and I'm going to give you a beautiful musical singing voice right now. Let's get sparkle.

And then it works and Kelly's like, you're a doorknow. Look, she seems like a buffalo. She could show these like, thanks mom, and then we can set the camera and puppet buffalo nods like, yup. Oh, puppy. What else is in there? We've got a lot more, but I think that's it for today. We will circle back next week for more mailbag, everyone. Oh my god, everybody. what a fun episode. Okay. Super super fun. That brings us to the end of our

week here at Watch What Crappens. Go get our live show tickets. Our first Boston show sold out. So we added a second one. We also added a second show in Dallas. So go get your tickets. We can also get them for Irvine Vancouver for the just for last comedy festival and There's one more Washington Boston Boston I said Boston already So go get those tickets. Just go to watch what crap is comms go down to our calendar There's a ticket link for all of the different theaters Um, and go get your t-shirts all are limited to dirt for all of the different theaters. And co-get your t-shirts, all are limited adj-

Adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- They're limited adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj- adj-

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