Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Live from Boston - Can't Fight Foyer with Foyer
Episode Date: January 21, 2018We're live in Boston for a second night, and this time we're talking the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion part 1. Come listen to See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information....Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some raunchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,
or wherever you get your podcasts. That's what it's called, the banter of rules
I'm going out the round and make all of his moves
And I guess the problem of the blood-red problem
That's how very many problems I've all
Much what happens, much what happens
Kids what happens, but there's so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that This one, if that man's a fruit, you're a man. It's a woman who's a man.
It's a man who's a man.
It's a man who's a man.
It's so much that that man's.
Oh, oh, oh.
What's up?
What's up?
What's up? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh women better March! Yes! Just setting up the Facebook line.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
All Navy Slider on you.
Pre-advout apologies to R.A.
Our Goldjust stage manager for the ass crack she's going to get for the next hour and a half.
There.
I mean, mom jeans are coming back, but they're not to old Navy up for men.
So far all we get a really low-waisted fucking jeans girl.
Hi Boston!
What's up Boston?
Oh my god, there's so many people here.
Oh my god.
Classic March.
Look at those shirts up there.
Classic March.
Classic March, shirts up there.
There's three classic margins out there.
Yes.
Oh my God, it's like they've known me for years here at this place.
Look at that.
That's hell.
This is our second show here in Boston.
We sold out Saturday night.
You guys, we got some vanilla envelopes from right down here.
From Nicole, thank you Nicole.
Vanilla envelopes, they say.
Lisa's vanilla folder.
Spreadsheets work.
More work business.
All the information about broken birds.
The secret about Billy Lee.
She spoiled that one.
So earlier this morning, I went back to my new favorite place, Bagel Sores.
He mostly went there because he likes hearing the woo when he says Bagel Sores.
I live for the rush of Bagel Sores.
So I went there and there were these two college students
standing behind me in the line.
And they were talking to each other.
And then she was like, I really have to clean up all the
podcasts on my phone.
And the guy was like, oh, what podcast are you listening to?
She's like, well, you know, like, Pod Save America,
and this American Live, and then just some like really
trashy podcasts.
And he goes, what are your trashy podcast
You're like I don't want to say and he's like what are they?
She's like I don't want to say and I was like I want to turn around be like bitch. Please tell me please tell me we're on there, please
I want to be your trashy podcast
Let this be part of your embarrassing trash
It is funny because when we meet you guys so many of you were like,
hmm, so embarrassed.
What do you embarrassed about?
We actually do this shit.
Yeah.
We actually put our real names on the Facebook, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're the ones limiting our careers here with us.
So women's march, Amiga.
Yeah.
Who wants the women's march?
Now you know my ass is Amiga. Yeah, who wants the Women's March? Yeah.
Now, you know my ass is lazy girl.
Yeah.
I'm marching anywhere.
But I was like, hey, women, I told them
we do a Bravo podcast.
Yeah.
How much more supportive of women can you be?
Yeah.
Well, we also should be supportive of some of the shrek eyes
that were dragged here tonight. I see one right here. Wait, of some of the shrek eyes that were dragged here tonight.
I see one right here.
Wait, this is for the shrek eyes.
Real men watch Bravo, so what that says.
Real men watch Bravo.
That was a t-shirt that was actually given to us by Bravo.
So we just basically fulfilled their marketing ploy.
But anyway, yes, the women's march.
Ronny.
So people are marching this stuff, and I was like,
I'm very tired, and I haven't entered a switch.
So no.
But yay women, I was out the window like, love your bitches.
So we met a couple of friends before this,
and we're like, let's just meet for coffee down the street.
Well, were you marching or having coffee?
What were you doing?
Because every place was full.
We couldn't get in any place.
I was like, you're a better march.
Yeah.
This is not the women's lunch.
Good job, asses out there.
So we just walked and walked.
And so we walked upon the women's rally.
Yeah.
And it was amazing.
And I was like, we should have been here the whole time
because we saw so many real housewives there.
Yeah, we did.
It was amazing.
We saw, well, first of all, at one point,
someone was speaking and was getting really into it.
And I was actually surprised that none other than
Camille Grammer was there.
And it was amazing because I really liked watching the speaker
because when you looked at what the speaker was talking,
it was so upsetting.
I watched this when the speaker was talking. It was so upsetting.
What a monopathy.
It's like, guess what?
I'd like to wish everyone a happy March.
Watch is my favorite month.
It comes right after February.
February was when I first became single and ready to mingle.
I thought it was really rude though
when Doree rushed the stage.
I was like,
guys, guys.
This much.
I mean, did it start just now?
I'm sorry, I was under the...
I worry about the traffic around this much.
I had it slated for a 1230 to 130.
Did it just start now?
I'm terribly sorry.
And then we thought, you know, the Australian house was they're never going to make it here, but they did. Did it just start now? I'm terribly sorry.
And then we thought, you know, the Australian housewives are never going to make it here, but they did.
Yeah.
And I was like, is that Geneleon or heavy switch?
I was like, listen, women.
Sometimes I'm right.
Sometimes I'm wrong.
Sometimes I'm a woman. Sometimes I'm a man.
Sometimes I'm hot. Sometimes I'm cold. I'm
fearless. I'm jean. Oh, I looked at that. I looked at that. I looked at that patriarchy right
in the eyes and I said get out of my body. Get out of my body. Get out, Patriarch.
But I think the person who summed it up the best
was probably when Candy Burfs came to the stage.
And she was just like, say, now, rally.
Rally.
I don't know if a woman's rally.
Because there's so much truth here.
That is wrong, women's march.
That is wrong. So march. That is wrong.
So I'm a choice lost to wig.
Good day.
I think it was a good day for women all the way around.
So we, there's actually another act following us tonight.
Too many zoos.
Too many zoos.
And the act.
Too many zoos.
So we actually have a tie of timeline.
So how about we just get right into some real house
on New Jersey, we're in the recap.
All right.
We've been in this zoo before.
Too many zoos.
I've been in this private zoo before.
I've been in this pad of too many zoos before.
So real housewives of New Jersey.
Now first of all, since we talk about the time you shit on these shit shows, we have to talk about the set.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like an open floor plan.
It's the weirdest open floor plan model home
I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
They're each sitting in front of things that are important to them.
Theresa, of course, has pots and pans behind her head.
I'm like, that stew pot is less hollow than your head, Theresa. Good stupat burn.
You see just when you thought it couldn't get me stu-wea.
Yeah, you know obviously you have to take stock of how everyone looked, etc. I thought I was
looking, I thought I was being like very original when I was like, I was like, I was thinking
it looks like she's dressed like Bill from Beauty and the Beast.
And then she actually tweeted out about it.
I was like, oh, everyone says I look like Bill.
Is it so wrong that I want you to be my guest?
I thought I was like, I thought I was being like,
very original when I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, she's dressed like Bill,
from Beauty and the Beast.
I thought I was like, I thought I was being like,
very original when I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like,
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like wow. But I think my steopop burn was good.
I was like, really singing.
I could actually imagine her and beat in a beast, you know?
I could imagine her like walking around.
Okay. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Oh, I love this song. Oh, I love Baker.
We're all sorry for what we did to you.
Look, there it goes.
That girl, she's so strange and soggy.
Classic magic, but that ain't you just a movie.
That, that, that, that, that.
How could you?
She's never part of any crowd.
Siggy's just sobbing at every person she has.
There's the baker! How could you?
The beast is like, you know what? I'm good. I'll just say a beast. I'm fine.
Would you like another book today, Belle? What kind of monster are you?
How could you talk about books when books were burned in a Holocaust?
Yes. I'm Jewish, everyone.
Yeah, Jew.
Someone just yelled, yeah, Jew?
I mean, I don't want to steal the spotlight from women, but we can have a Jewish march right
now.
Hey, Jew.
So, they're like tonight. Tonight, on the real housewives of New Jersey, we can have a Jewish march right now, I do. Hey, two. So they're like, tonight, tonight,
on the real housewives of New Jersey,
we're union part one.
Andy, which is also the same as my James Kennedy
with the different boys.
Just had to show out that terrible,
facial impression while I'm here.
But he's like, tonight, on the real housewives,
it's just all blow up doll mouths.
This is every cut they showed with this,
every woman was doing this.
Yeah.
I was so sad that Dolores went down that path.
Honestly, I know it's a day of women empowerment
and whatever makes you feel happy and strong
or whatever, but Dolores, I was sad about that.
I actually really was.
I mean, look, I enjoy a good blow up lip.
I've come from the town where I don't even notice it anymore
You know like people with wrinkles. I'm like oh
Yeah, it's weird to see people walking around the streets and they don't look like you know pool toys
Didn't I meet you in you know
How many lassoots you got like a geez. It's like the trash people are coming
It's like six in the morning and you're like what is all that noise
That's what it sounded like the coming up clips on real house us in New Jersey
So Andy greets everyone as usual and he's like this season we say goodbye to Jacqueline. And Teresa was like, hey, thank God.
And I was like, oh my God, Teresa and I actually agree on something.
And he goes, oh, you're happy about that Teresa?
And she's like, no, I want to come back, because Danielle.
Blink, blink, blink, blink.
Like, you don't even know what you're saying.
Stick with one.
It's been 10 seconds, Tari.
So I think, I'm not thank god.
I mean, let's do your bit, Tari.
You know, by the way, I just want to give a shout out
to one of our listeners who's here tonight online.
She goes by Boston, baby Mama, who is wearing a tank top
that has one of my favorite things come out of the season.
Posh spelled out properly, which is piece of shit, cocoa,
haom reka every day.
Yeah.
Great take tough.
Great take tough.
Also, thank you for going by the name of my favorite
Fantasia song.
This girl that's all my boss and baby mama.
This girl's us.
Not enough Fantasia lovers in the world, you guys.
Any woman who sings a song about mashed potatoes?
That's my heart forever.
Love you Fantasia.
She's like, ah!
Fantasia's at home right now, like, oh, my heart's warm.
I love to think of Fantasia watching the livestream on Facebook.
Hi, Facebook people.
Hi.
Fantasia.
So Andy's like, so much has changed.
And the Lord's was like, right?
I don't know what you're talking about Frank's still dead, boost still dead, I don't know
what you're talking about.
Everything's the same.
Well you know they each had a part representing their personality on the stage and Andy is
sitting next to this frozen dog.
Okay it's like this little silver dog, it looks like it's from Ross, you know like one
of those little things you buy at Ross.
Who has that kind of dog, It's like a little pug.
Does somebody actually have a pug?
Andy got a beagle.
And Dolores is like, how could you?
Too soon.
Too soon.
Too soon.
Too soon.
Too soon.
Too soon.
Bo.
Oh, I wanted to talk about the countertops in here.
I mean, they look really good.
Lots of goodness.
Nice coming.
Nice coming.
I don't see any past on the floor. It really good. Yeah. Lots of goodness. Nice job, nice job. Nice job, nice job. So I don't see any past on the floor.
It looks good.
So Andy is going down the list.
And Andy asks, Ziggy's like, is it true that you drove out
to UPent or Penn State just to do Joshua's laundry?
She's like, no, no, that's ridiculous lie.
Here's what really happened.
I went to Penn State.
I saw Joshua.
I reminded him he came from my cookie.
I said, look at the cookie, look at the cookie.
And then I said, I'm taking your laundry, I took the laundry back to Jersey with me, I did it, and I mailed it back to him the next day.
I don't even know what to say to that.
I mean, it's cool if you've got the time and the money or whatever, but let his laundry
wings wet or shy.
Yeah, you're sure of that.
You're sure of parenting that, man.
I love the aunties just such a bitch.
He can't stop it.
You're not supposed to be like, oh my god, you got new tits.
Like who does that?
He's the only person in the world who does that.
But this time, he's like, Dolores, hey, looks like you got a little tune up. She's like, really? She's like, yeah, I thought it was just an oil change and some
man I freeze, but then, you know, I got with them. My belts are broken, you know, my radiate
is leaking, my turn signals are backwards. I got new friends. My windshield wipers are
rot, my horns are ticking time, bomb. And he's like, hey Teresa, you're
full blonde now. She's like, eh, you like it. I'm like, it
looks like someone spilled a little bit of cheese on your head.
Yeah, I can't. He's like, you belong to have more fun. And
he's like, how much fun can I have? Joe's not here. I'm sure
your whole life was a barrel of monkeys.
So then he's like moving on to the next topic.
He's like, you didn't say how I looked Andy.
I told you you look great.
Do you like my dress?
He's like, please don't get off the couch.
You want to kiss me? I want to make out with you.
And he's like, please stay there, security.
Security.
So, Melissa, is that dress off the rack?
I'm like, who raised you?
Who says that?
Oh, man.
So, so now we, they started to see Melissa go from a stripper
to a waiter on the sword, a mom at a christening,
to a mom trying to ruin her sister and mom's wife,
to a half-dress shop kind of rentered.
Whatever you're trying to convey this year,
am I right, Melissa?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Then we get a montage of Melissa,
you know, like refusing to do fork roll ups
or whatever her plot was this whole year.
I'm not gonna wait tables.
Again.
You're never too good to wait tables.
Trust.
Yeah, trust, trust, trust, trust.
Yeah, like crumb my table.
Excuse me, sir.
So, you know, the, it starts off like in a pretty easy going
place, you know, like, hey, Melissa,
what do you think about that comment when Teresa says
you're just like, gorgah by injection? And she's like, well, I do you think about that comment when Teresa says you're just like Gorga by injection and she's like
Well, I did think that she sees me as family, but you know
She just I think she says a lot of stupid shit sometimes and then she's like man you say less stupid shit
I'm like yeah, I know but I think you say more stupid shit than I do
I don't know and she's like do you think you speak more stupid shit than she does?
I don't know just like a little bit more than stupid. I was like oh my god
What is happening to my brain right now?
I don't know, it's just like a little bit more than Super Show. I was like, oh my god.
What is happening to my brain right now?
It's like at the fair when they have like those gigantic jar
of jelly beans and they're like, count them.
You're like, how?
This is countless.
Like, who said the dumber things?
How many dumb things have been said?
I like that Teresa's just ready to be stupid,
angry, no matter what's happening.
She's like, I'm not the only one who doesn't always say the right thing.
And I'm like, I'm not the only one who doesn't always say the right thing. And I'm like, okay, okay Theresa.
Nothing bad is happening.
She's like, all right, you want to make counting?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
He's like, so bar mitzvahs, you're rounder, yes.
Oh, running.
Oh shit, I'm so sorry.
I know.
Hello, this is Ronnie.
Hello, who am I speaking with?
Oh, I just said, my name is Ronnie.
Is this Ramona singer?
Yes, it is.
May I ask who I'm speaking with, please?
This is Ronnie.
Why are you calling me right now?
I am calling because I'd like to order a pizza for Mario.
I think he might be coming over tonight.
I'll have a pepperoni, large-sized extra chicken.
We are in the middle of a live show in Boston.
Oh my god.
Ronnie, you're crazy right now.
Whoa, whoa. this is crazy.
You're the live show in Boston?
This reminds me of this one time,
I'm a little girl.
I was like, I was like, yeah,
I want to go to Boston and see the tea party, okay?
And Geraldine Pazismith came to me and said,
no, you don't get to learn about the revolutionary world because you're not a revolutionary girl, okay? And Geraldine Pazismith came to me and said, no, you don't get to learn about the revolutionary world
because you're not a revolutionary girl, okay?
And to this day, I've never been to Boston
and I have never had tea, okay?
Oh, wow.
Wow, a lot of those.
That was so awkward.
I'm so professional.
Yeah, please, please.
Roddy, could you put your phone in the airplane mode?
Please, thank you.
I wouldn't want that to happen again.
I don't know how it happened.
I don't know.
What did it in airplane mode?
So Andy's like, so Melissa, how's Envy doing?
Did you just go to Italy just to buy all that clothes?
I'm like, first of all, even though we know it's not a real boutique and even though she
bought one shoe, it's not a crazy thing for someone who has a boutique to go somewhere
to buy clothes.
It's like, that's crazy.
That's what a strange thing, Melissa Gorga.
Why would you buy clothes for envy not not an envy? Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, March, what do you think about Melissa,
how she's running envy?
And March is like, oh, you know,
it's almost like you're going into Melissa Gurg,
it's closet.
I was like, oh, it reminds me of like,
you're taking me back for that scene
and from Poltergeist, we're like a giant skull, it comes out.
I don't want to go into Melissa Gorge's gloss again.
It's like one little backpack for my niece's American Girl Doll.
It's like the American Horde Girl Doll.
It's like this big.
It's just full of condoms.
Yeah.
I've never seen Pans Labyrinth, but that's what I imagine.
Melissa Gorge's closet looks like.
Something going like this.
You know.
It's like, Ther Teresa's like the dumbest
Um, so let's see, I'm still on, I wrote five paragraphs
Go back, it's fine, go back
I'm stupid things and I did, it's that stupid thing
Like Bar Mitzvah
Some of us is like, yeah, exactly, like Bar Mitzvah's like, aren't once a year
Y'all ain't I'm not wrong on me
And this is like like that Like what is she even saying like that? Y'all ain't got my rollin' on me.
This is like like that.
Like what is she even saying like that?
What is that? A beef side dish?
Is that a musical?
What is that? What is she talking about?
Hi, she's a John Wayne. Hey see, watch or crap ends is pain.
It's pain.
It's like you to Davis said in the long-cused good night,
life is pain, so suck it up.
Thor birch.
Tree just goes, hey, let's not go there.
And Melissa goes, yeah, this relationship,
this is what we have.
We're like sisters now.
Notice that I haven't shown my sister's
even one time
for two seconds and higher season.
I don't want anyone to come in between us ever again.
And you know, it's like literally Teresa, Melissa,
and Andy Cohen right in between them.
I was like, it was the biggest foreshadowing
of the reunion.
And Andy Gus, so glorious.
You know these two for a long time.
Do you like the way that they're getting along now?
And dearest is like, oh yeah, you know that fight they just had?
Like before it would have been a pot to the head, it would have been a baseball bat coming
out, it would have been a break through the windshield, it would have been a notch in
your gut.
I mean, they would have started each other on fire, Andy.
This would have been terrible every time.
Kicked each other in the womb.
I mean, it's never going to end with these girls the way it used to be.
Andy's like, damn.
I wish that happened.
Uh, so...
We could tell he's like, we got to fix things next season.
Get him fighting again. Oh yeah, finally I'm getting to envy.
That's why you're saying, go back. I'm still on the same note from Minute 2.
It's fine. This is where the podcast is.
I like to say... I'm like, so sorry to too many zoos or whatever you're called.
Too many zoos. Too many zoos.
Let's talk about the backpack. Anybody? So he's like, yeah, envy, and Margaret goes,
oh yeah, that's what's great about Melissa, the envy thing. It's like her personal style.
It's like her closet. You walk into her closet, there's bath drivers and janitors, you know? From Buffalo, just making it rain, just making it rain. Like that,
wherever she goes. What is classic march? Could any of you like a classic march? No, you
could. Classic march. By the way, does everyone, how does everyone feel about classic march?
Are we happy that she's there? I, at the beginning of the season, I was like, this lady just
came on to stir up shit, and then by episode two, I was like, never mind season I was like this lady just came on to stir up shit and then by episode to us like never mind
I'm fully on board the classic watchtower team stirring it classic much. It's just crazy. She's just so much like Joan
Jeannie from jilluded jump to host of hat wants to know are those big tails for real
The hard-hunga to actually have an email said it are those big tails for real
The hard thing about that is that we have an email set it. Are those pigtails for real?
She's like, what the long ones are extensions.
They get extensions for everything these days.
That's why it always tells Joe.
It's like, we have to have an extension in your life already,
Joe, before you die.
And she's like, I never met her.
Can we talk?
I was like, oh my god, Joe.
That's a hilarious line you should use that.
She's like, oh, good.
Classic, Joe, classic, much.
I mean, we're such a, I'm such a Joe.
You know?
Eventually those pigtails are growing, you know.
I've been waiting for them for like seven years.
It's like waiting for Joe to finish the ballroom.
I'm like, seriously?
Like, how long is this gonna take?
I'm gonna be like 70 before I get real pigtails.
I'm like, Mago, I need to get your pigtails.
I need to get your pigtails.
Then, Joe need to be like, you know,
pigtails are in the oven.
It doesn't work.
This way, you say, you just pigtails storage in my oven.
You know, it's crazy.
It's classic John.
Classic much.
So, I don't even understand this note.
But I wrote, she's like, this is Pigtail Extensions.
Oh yeah, I get it now.
She goes, these are Pigtail Extensions.
And Andy goes, I didn't know there were Pigtail Extensions.
And then Siggie goes, this is extensions for everything.
Siggie says, you're so mad about everything.
Because she hasn't really talked yet, so at this point,
it's just bubbling over everything's making her mad.
Pick, Dale, I don't wanna water.
I'm gonna say I wanna water.
How could you call me the televopic?
It's about extent to the exact exact from everywhere.
Ziggy's, at this point, Ziggy is fully losing it,
because we see a picture about how Betsy Johnson
is a big classic march fan and, you know,
Marge is like, oh yeah, she's, she rushed me off.
She direct message me and just says she could be like,
ah, anti-Joshua.
He's sweet and he's emailing me, she tweeted me,
she Facebooked me, she texted me,
that's Betsy Johnson, like what are you gonna do, classic months?
Snap publicly, privately, added me in an instant, you've met me in the snail mail,
snail mail me about it, she really loves picked up,
for the longest time I thought she was, how would Johnson's, I was like, what's this hotel,
how do you emailing me, this hotel from the 80s, and then I was going to get Betsy Johnson classic much. And then Trey hasn't gotten to talk enough,
so she's like,
Ha ha, you remind me of Betsy Johnson's. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She also says the clouds. Yeah. That's a giant.
Cute tips from Johnson and Johnson.
She's like, ah!
I never knew we had so much Johnson material.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
This season, we met a lady in picktails.
Look, this is the saddest season ever.
So basically, the sad part comes.
He's like, so marns.
Did the kids reach out?
Jeez, lady.
Yeah, they're just like, no, they haven't reached out.
But you know what, this part of this bitch
who takes crumbs at this point, which
is what I would get at Sikki's house if she ever
stood in for once.
Oh, Kajo!
I served you our cake. Ha!
He's like, what would you say to him right now
after raising him for 24 years?
And Teresa's like,
Ha, 24 years, huh?
It's crazy if you're raising him for 24.
Oh, look.
Well, welcome to the show, Teresa.
Yeah.
And Ziggy's doing this thing where she's like,
I've just yelled about big tales.
Now we're talking about children.
I mean, look at the floor.
I'm not doing things.
She's like, like folding an invisible napkin on her lap.
She's like,
she's a turkey!
She really was doing that.
She kept like smoothing down her glitter dress.
I was like, you've got the third husband named Joe.
I know, through your contractors.
I know, kill me right now.
Seriously, you know, it's just my big mouth got me in trouble.
So, oh, Olivia, Olivia, Olivia from Annapolis.
Yeah, I guess I could be offensive sometimes.
I agree, but I think that's like my general humor.
It's like, you know, making wordplay, like saying soggy
instead of siggy, I mean, hilarious, soggy, you know,
soggy, siggy, it's classic Joan.
I mean, like, if you ever replace the different vowel
with another vowel, I mean, it's hilarious.
Hellerious dub, Joan, if you love what you dov, we're talking about children. I made a swan
It's like, okay, Ziggy you can talk now, okay
So the question is like from I don't know like I'm elder from DeMarco
So wherever and they're like so
Boris don't you think that Margot is funny? And Tiggie's like, oh!
Oh!
Oh!
She's fully having the extra system on her seat right now.
There's like, peace suit everywhere.
Margot's, she's like, well, I think she's okay,
but she just, she doesn't handle Ziggy well.
And Margot's like, I've apologized like 500 times.
And Tiggie goes, your apologies are like this.
One Mrs. Cippy, two Mrs. Cippy, three Mrs. Cippy, four Mrs. Cippy, five Mrs. Cippy, six Mrs.
Where are we going with this?
I did what are you doing?
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, back again.
I'm sick of it like I said.
What did Bam Bam ever do, but trying to support his family by learning a drum.
She's like playing a pelvic bone.
He's still brought home to bacon.
Am I right?
Classic zone.
At least band band appreciated his mother.
All you do is throw pebbles at me.
Like hey Fred, did you call me?
Hey Fred.
Every single night I come to Margaret's house
and she slams the door on my face
and puts Dino in instead.
I can't deal anymore.
I knock on that door every single time.
Sometimes they put a cat out.
The Margaret never lets me into a house.
And now Margaret is ready.
Margaret's like a big giant.
What was that?
What was that?
I think it was like a really madç”·.
Really madç”·.
She's like, oh, boom.
Oh! You're tipping over my car.
Who throws a dinosaur rib across the kitchen floor?
I spent 1,500 dollars on those dinosaur ribs.
Sorry about that.
So Marge is ready to fight.
OK, she's like, I'm not here inigtails today, I'll tell you that, day.
So, she's just here ready to fight instead of being nice.
She's like, you know what?
You said this to me the entire season, you counted the Mississippi's, okay?
You counted the Mississippi's all season, and you said you were going to ruin me.
You said, all you want to do is ruin me, all right?
Yes, I have.
Yes, yes, I have.
And then you tried to ruin me, you tried to do it over and over. Yes, yes, yes Yes, I have. Yes, I have. Yes, I have. Yes, I have.
And then you tried to ruin me.
You tried to do it over and over.
Yes.
Yes, yes, that's true.
Yes.
Yes.
And what you made fun of Mississippi, and the fact that I've never been there, one Mississippi,
two Mississippi.
18 Mississippi, they're all excited.
It's like, okay, Reen and Sover, let's see.
I just love by way and somebody else is like, yes, three Mississippi. She's like, said it's like, okay, Reen and sober. Let's just love by way somebody else is what yes
Mississippi
I did that for my nieces recently. They're like do it again uncle
Modern education in my rung
So she's like you want to destroy me you? You set it over in Hover and Sikki goes, I have, you know why? Cos I'm in Australia!
It's like you're messing with the wrong girl.
I'm like, girl, you left Israel, okay?
I'm in Australia.
It's like, what is that? The couscous defense?
I'm Peter, you're hummus, whatever you say.
Bounces off me and sticks to you.
It's like I think you got that wrong and see.
But it sounds delicious.
I'm Israeli, couscous, I'm round, and when you throw me, even the wine round, I'll still
stick to you.
Am I accession, so I'm praying, praying, praying, praying, praying.
So Margot's like, bring it.
Bring it right now.
Bring it is real, bring it. Bring it right now. Bring it is real, bring it.
And see it is real.
And see it goes, oh yeah.
And Margot goes, go ahead.
And see he goes, when Andy says, ready, we're ready,
honey, and she goes, don't worry.
OK, bring it again.
I'm about to.
It's already been broadened.
I'm supposed to say that.
Oh, you really?
Who's speaking?
I don't know.
Wait, hold on, wait? I don't know.
Wait, hold on, wait, I don't know.
Bring it, part five.
I was like, I wish that the producers
would bring it, didn't already have this conversation
like a million times.
Let's bring it again.
Guess what?
Don't.
Stop bringing it.
Bring it on.
And Andy goes, I think we'll go to a commercial break
and then he just heard DeLores go, this isn't gonna go well.
What?
What?
She gets up and starts wiping down the fake countertop
and the fake kitchen of the model home set.
And all the fake pasta.
So, hey, you guys can't agree on anything,
but one thing we can all agree on,
your children suck.
We're like, yeah.
So it's like a montage of all the children being like,
fuck you, mom.
You're embarrassing me.
Yeah.
So what's the update on Frankie's love life?
To look, ooh, Frankie.
To Laura says, well, he has a very nice girlfriend and this goes so sweet she sort of she just recently got a tune up
She
She's still living with her husband and it's me. It's me. I'm just kind of guys like she's safe
She's safe for the road
But Dolores really was like well this one's nice
He got a new one and this one's really great. I was like, what did the girl in like
to see through wedding dress for prom?
Like, no, that was Joshua.
No, that was Joshua.
That was Joshua's hot day of humor.
I'm so sorry.
How dare you?
My God.
Delete, delete, delete, delete.
Cut that out, cut that out guy behind the apple.
So Clarence from Burbank, that's a question.
I hate that you can hear that shit.
I'm used to my mic.
My mic at home, you have to talk like this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's weird to speak.
My party, you know, it's like a disco like going.
I'm like, yes, I'm listening.
I'm totally listening. This know, it's like a disco like going, and I'm like, yes, I'm listening, I'm totally listening.
This one, you hear me go, I'm a trailer trash that I am.
So there's this question from Clarence from Burbank, who says, it's like, it's, it's
this March thinks that he was being inappropriate for talking about her cookies so much and Joshua
coming out of it, et cetera.
And apparently, apparently, Marge made a comment in her bravo blog
about saying, no, if I said the same thing,
might someone ignore me too.
I mean, he already is doing it, so it's almost like
already did it.
But that was so awkward.
It's like, if I talked about my sense cookie,
I'm like, why does your son have a cookie?
And your son's already ignoring you.
Yeah, this is so awkward.
Let's just wrap it.
Pre-cooky.
Pre-cooky.
Wrap up the cookie slam.
So then, Ziggy is like, I think it's more appalling that she's talking about
marinated hopelessly at bot. I was like, is that what is that?
I think it's bad. I read that ask Ben. I was like marrying.
Was it the beginning of the season? Wasn't she saying what you do is you put
a little bit of marijuana in there
And you put it all around your cookie and right either way
I was like this does not need to be brought back to our attention Bravo
She went to LA once and had a marijuana cookie. Yeah, I know how to do. I know how we're back classic jump
I'm just like first of all I said pus not pussy so it's very important
very important delineation
Very poindillination.
Very tasteful. It's the show. We're actually doing the most tasteful person of real house
passing through Jersey ever.
Okay.
Once I'll stick his like pot,
pulse,
mouthing,
so he get a little bit,
it gets juicy,
chicken,
I was like,
whoa, whoa, whoa,
we're doing a show at 6.30 pm, okay?
We can't just work. You're making the women's march.
Let's not talk about this on Women's March Day, okay? Yeah
We're gonna make Wattswell Crap and students on the women's march days. See how they like it
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Hello, this has been. Hello, who am I speaking to? Oh, I'm good, man.
Hello, this is Ben. Hello, who am I speaking to?
Uh, this is Ben.
Ben, what are you doing in the house?
Uh, well, I'm actually recording the fucking watch or crap ins live podcasts about the real house of New Jersey.
Don't!
Breathe!
Hey?
This is not crazy. Like, I'm talking to you right now, I'm a so New Jersey. So, great. Hey, this is not crazy.
Like, I'm talking to you right now on the speaker phone.
Like, right now, I'm speaking, but it's on the speaker phone.
It's like two speakers in one phone.
It's nothing.
It's like literally nothing.
I...
Do you know how to take off the speaker phone?
I have no idea.
I don't even know.
Right now I headed up to my ear and I was like, oh!
You didn't know how to have, okay, it was nuts.
I took it away and it was loud.
I was like, oh my god, it's speakerphone.
And then every was like, mom, you want to speak a phone?
I was like, yeah, I guess so.
And she's like, oh my god, you're like one of us.
You're like 20 years old.
And I was like, I know, right?
Hey, Bandy, I've got three drinks in front of you right now.
I know.
Got one with a lid, so people will know I'm not trying
to spread germs to the male community, OK?
I've got one that's kind of pre-opened,
which I don't really trust because you know,
dating this day ages, right?
I've got one that looks like a Starbucks,
but it's really booze,
because I'm getting wasted on the job.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Ramona, I think I gotta get back to the show,
but good luck with that.
Thank you. Thank you, Ramona.
Tamula, say hello.
I love that when Ramona calls.
This is when Ramona actually calls on the...
Dolores, we're just... Oh my God, she's obsessed with her.
Ramona is stocking Melissa Gorga.
That's hilarious to me.
Ring ring.
It's Ramona. What are you doing?
Can you believe me? I'm set? I got a new carpet.
Okay? I got a group on for envy. Can I come and use it right now?
I do love it. I've been making fun of it already. I got a new carpet, okay? I got a group on for envy. Can I come and use it right now?
I do love it.
I've been making fun of it already,
but I love when Andy answers is like,
Ramona, and then she's like,
yes, who am I speaking with?
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, is always like, You treat everybody like crap, okay? It's disgusting, like seriously, the way you talk to everybody, like literally, seriously,
literally, it's like, my assistant's right next to you when you're getting the elevator and then you're like,
I'm like, you didn't even look at them, so why didn't they look at me first?
Well, I can imagine why Ramona is confused, because she's used to, you know, the way Beth and me would answer the phone,
which probably would just be like, what's going on, what's the matter?
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
And then already just to hang up.
You have like three seconds of Bethany shangs up.
When, when, go to the trolley,
ding, ding, ding, ding, gums about,
you rank what he want, what he want,
literally seriously, seriously,
even have five more seconds, seriously, seriously,
I'm rolling over to my dad,
I'm rolling over to my dad.
Do I like coming out, like I'm rolling over to my dad?
I need a message after the beep, beep, okay, go, bye.
Or Jorinda, I can imagine what Jorinda
would be like, answer the phone. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh my god, you guys.
Prop comedy makes it really hard.
And I'm like, what do I do?
The phones are already right here.
Hello.
Who the hell is this?
Me?
Who the hell is this?
Hey, you know what I want to say fuck you? Who the hell is this me?
Hey, you know what I'm gonna say for you?
How can you come for me like this?
Pull the press on that pussy all the time.
Pull the pussy, what's your word?
Oh well, let me see, right now I just be friends.
Let's just be friends, me?
That was the sweetest pinpad ever.
Sorry, anyway, so her mother is like, oh my god, Andy, why are we answering the phone?
It's crazy.
I've never seen anything like it.
No, it's almost day-class say.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's day-class say-to-man, someone else's phone.
Man, please have the front desk of envy.
Thank you. I would like to order a cup of time's phone, man, please have the front desk of envy, thank you.
I would like to order a cup of time,
chow to please, have it sent up to Ruma Mona.
He's like, this is your boss, bitch.
Yeah.
So he goes, I just want you to know Ruma Mona.
And her phone, and well, it's his phone,
your name is Romana.
Well, there's only Lumaena, not Romana.
It's like birds just sitting on Andy's head.
It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like birds just sitting on Andy's head.
It's so stupid.
It shows over.
Yeah.
We'll just bring in Ramona during the Embatini no matter what fucking show it is.
Yeah, we'll just bring him in.
Yeah.
We'll just bring him in.
Yeah.
Like we're covering the food network today.
Well, it's funny that you should say that.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ramona, no, just saying.
Well, we brought her here right now.
I didn't like Kim D. walks out instead.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here. Come here. Come here. then like Kim D walks out instead. I'm here! Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick!
I'm here!
I'm here!
All the fashion show.
Andy just pats himself on the back,
himself on the back no matter what's happening.
He's like, oh, that was a reunion first.
I'm like, so is having a garbage disposal on set.
Yes. Who cares? Be not safe from Bayhead wants to know. I'm like so is having a garbage disposal on set
Who cares Be not say from bayhead wants to know if you're disciplining your children now or if you're waiting for your husband to get out of jail
Thank me
They've been through a lot of you know done a lot of book covers. It's like a tree pose. I've they seen me do tree poses and like
Agreances. Yeah, that Joe. What a disciplinarian. Yeah It's like a tree pose, if they see me do tree poses and like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, ingredients.
Yeah, that Joe, what a disciplinarian.
Yeah.
They've been doing not-lead-leash, you know, it's the tightsens for them, stuff, and things like that.
When he put his four-year-old on a three-wheeler, yeah, that guy's strict.
He's like, hey, here, he has a straight razor, shaved my back, my line, he shut the fuck off,
my line, yeah, huh?
Shut up, just shut up, my lineia.
Let's shave it.
And now, all right, try again.
I also liked, like, Joanne from Scranton Pennsylvania
called in.
It was like, hey, Theresa and Melissa, are you guys really friends now?
Or are you guys just allies?
And Theresa's like, no, no.
That's what sister's doing. You know, we fight sometimes, but we're friends now. no, no, no. That's what's his to do.
You know, we fight sometimes, but with friends, not, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
If you take the allies, like, you'll poop out all the fat,
then it'll be disgusting, it'll be liquidy.
I don't do that.
He's like, no, no.
Allies, like friends.
Ah, that show.
What happened to Ross and Monica?
They ended up together. Oh, that's a lot of fun.
I banned Chandlatham Jail's.
I mean, he only had a retreat, so she actually is being more accountable than she ever has been in the past.
Like, it really has.
Because when he's like, and he was like last year, you said that Melissa wasn't banned from seeing you at jail.
And then in your book, you said she was. So what she seeing you at jail. And then in your book you said she was. So which is it?
She's like, hey, yeah.
I banned the bitch.
I was actually at least she owned up to it.
She actually said, I was trying to be nice.
That is kind of nice.
Wait, since when is it like the friendly thing to do to allow someone come to your jail?
The nice thing is be like, you don't have to come all the way up to Danbury.
By the Danbury Fairball, I know we got someone from Connecticut in here.
It is by the Danbury Fairball, actually.
I'm an ambient sensitive, he's like,
well, I mean, Theresa, you've got a husband and jail.
You were in jail yourself.
You can barely hold up your eyelids
because your eyelashes are so heavy.
Your hair lines about to take cover your entire head.
I mean, your kids hate you. because the right lashes are so heavy. Your hair line's about to take over your entire head. Why me?
Your kids hate you.
Your mom died.
Your father and mom died.
I was snowing outside only your house right now.
You sure stayed Jersey strong.
She's like, eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Yeah.
You want to make a cow?
So then it was like an actual sad thing. I'm not gonna make fun of it.
Like her mom died and it was like,
and that was all by the way,
very sad and moving all season long.
And you know, she's talking about how her dad
goes to the cemetery every day.
And then Andy goes,
how old was she?
And she goes,
yeah, 66 and he goes,
oh my god.
That's so true.
It's like, wow! Like, do you know what I'm saying? and he goes, oh my God. That's so true.
He's like, wow.
Do you even watch this show?
He's like, you lost your mother?
Let's red that on the cue cards.
That is crazy.
We are never going to be part of this I watch what happens live now
Who needs it we're gonna be bartenders right here in Boston
I'd rather have bartenders
All right. Oh, I like it there. It's like a bartender.
Kim D. No.
Kling, Kling.
It's like, Kim D.
Carrie, the glass is on a tray.
She's like the worst bartender ever.
She's like, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling,
just spelling all over the place.
She's a terrible version of Antiproprioles.
Kim G is behind the bar.
Just pouring the drink properly.
It's like, no, that's not how it works.
It's very on the mountain.
I just keep doing that. That's my favorite. It's very odd, man. No, very odd, man.
I just keep doing that.
That's my favorite thing is Ariana, just a tower, just smiling.
So now look, Caroline Manzo, I loved you in Beethoven.
One day at a time, there's a great showcase for her hair. Colombo.
I mean, I've lived so much of your work.
And I've been a total dick.
But I have to give some amla credit, work credit to do.
And she's like, oh yeah, she's not going to leave Joe.
You know what she's going to do?
She's going to wait until he's in jail, and she's going to divorce his ass.
And she's going to write a fucking book about it. Watch. Watch.
I've never had to do Almanza live, hold on.
Listen, Caroline was always the smartest of the group anyway.
She knew.
Who?
I like Caroline. I actually do.
I just didn't like her spin-off.
Yeah, Caroline's like, look at you pretending you're rich.
You ain't got no money.
You're about to go to jail.
I'm saying, I can't do this.
She's leaving.
It's like, throwy seven.
She got nice purse.
Let me tell you a little something about my family.
With Thicca's thieves, and we have a terrible spin-off.
OK?
Come to the face closing out sale chickens
Exiled for everyone
Exiled everyone the front row gets some kaffa chai ex salad, okay
Exiled so yeah, so Andy you know what struck my heart watching your dad cry for that. What's your dad, right?
Thank me.
All right, so Andy's like,
so you blamed Joe for the year you lost with your mom?
It's like I'm trying to help you here.
He's like pushing her towards a divorce line.
He's like, we need something here.
Your ratings are, oh, oh, oh, come on.
You're gonna leave him, right?
You're gonna leave him, right? She's like, a lot of Angus came out, but it's all in the books.
It's on page 845.
It's a thousand pages long because it's written in large font.
And Andy is like, it was surprising to see you access that anger.
I'm like you're talking to Teresa Joyce.
How many times do you have to show that table flip in an episode before you realize you can get angry?
She doesn't even that...
Teresa's so good, she'll access other people's anger, that fucking crook.
She'll take an anger from across the street.
She's accessing shit, she's like, what?
Pin number, blub, blub, blub, blub, did it, man!
They're like, wow, how are you a criminal mastermind?
Yeah, I got it from a Catholic street, I don't even know where I got that.
So there are some questions about, you know,
what are the other women, like would you say
with your men?
Oh yeah, they're all so strong.
Yeah.
Little Melissa's like, no, fuck that.
If you did this to me, I'd be gone, you know?
Yeah, your husband opened a restaurant
without telling you.
Yeah.
So Dolores is like, she's like judging silently.
I'm like, uh, the husband who cheated on you
is getting free rent at your house.
And claiming up your boyfriend's motorcycle prints
that it's in the living room.
Stop acting like you guys all these,
you're so much stronger than Teresa.
You just wish you knew how to guess pin numbers, okay?
Give credit what credit does do.
So, uh, so did Teresa think about divorcing Joe?
And she's like, no, no, no, he's different now.
He changed a lot.
He's like, how did he change?
You're like, well, he watches the show now.
I thought she was going to say, you know,
he's more spiritually thinks about things.
He upgraded his cable package in jail.
He thinks about the batches.
Like his different A's chain talk a whole spectrum.
Meeeee.
Meeeee.
Like he's getting, yeah.
What the fuck kind of jails do these people go to?
Do you remember when Teresa came out of jail and he's like, oh, jail, right?
Mmm, if you were in jail, I just heard.
And she's like, yeah, man.
He goes, let's a daily schedule, like, saying,
well, I wake up, I let snow with my masterbates
with a screwdriver.
Then I go to yoghors.
Then I watch some lifetime.
Then I have lunch.
Then I get a massage.
Then I go back to yoghors again.
Mm-hmm.
It's like, what the fuck kind of Jill chill is this and where do I sign up?
Oh my god, it's like free blow jobs in cable.
I'm in!
I love mushy food.
I wish I could say I was ill, but it's cigarettes.
Oh god, damn it Ben.
Hello. Hi, who am I speaking with?
This is Rondle, who is this?
Would you believe it girls? It's me, Countess LeLem.
Oh my god.
I'm calling from a very special resort in West Palm Beach.
Is it West Palm Beach or Palm Beach?
I mean they're both the same basically.
They're not. They're really not.
Did you have a good Christmas break?
I don't celebrate that.
But I did fuck some twinks at the end of December.
Would you believe it girls? We got the Twinks!
How are you, Luan?
Oh, I'm great. I checked into this wonderful place.
It's called the Rose and Thorn Recovery.
It's both my rose and my thorn.
Really? So, what's your...
Okay, if you had to choose what's your rose and what's your thorn?
Are they both? Come on, choose. Choose.
You can't be the same.
Well, I think it's pretty evident that the rose is me inventing skinny girl margaritas.
That was pretty good.
And my thorn is that bitch Ramona singer.
Hold on, I'm gonna hurt you all right
Excuse me, okay
Hello, who am I speaking with?
Ramona singer may ask why I'm speaking with okay
This is Luandela Seps my god, the wean I'm calling from the penthouse of the first floor.
Listen, congratulations on being in the magazine that Mario Red, every night before he went to bed.
Hey!
Look, what are you doing in here? You're a drunk.
Remember that time you went into a hotel room? And it wasn't yours, but you started some fucking random guy
And then the mate came in and she was like poor K. A. Stoke chilly con case out
And you were like, I don't even like chilly con case out and then you kicked her in the face and called her a
Then you got thrown in jail. I don't remember any of this just just please tell me it's not about Tom
I don't remember any of this. Just please tell me it's not about Tom. It is about Tom. He taught me how to play.
I think there's someone on the line. Maybe you should confirm.
Hold on.
Luminian.
Luminian.
Hello? Who's this?
Who told you about a piece of bitch?
Luminian. How are you calling me up to? I bet
The wind how are you calling me up to different? I you rude
Roo trash trash. I'm trembling my boots. I'm trembling my socks
I think we lost them all so weird. I don't know why people keep interrupting us that way
Well, I think we should I think we should move forward
people keep interrupting us. That Ray. Well I think we should move forward to the studio. Okay he's like we have 40 minutes left we cannot keep talking about
March. We have 20 minutes out. We have a hard out at 7.45 so I'm like let's just
get to the meat of this. Which is a siggy and large. That's the best part. It's the best part.
It was the next part anyway.
I mean, I have some
Ziggy in caps literally 5,000 times.
I'm going to need, oh my god, his typing is so small.
My typing is like, there's a giant E at the very back of the house.
It's like an I thing.
I'm like, oh look, I can see.
His is like this big.
So the best part, we finally get to the big clip package
showing the growing robbery of classic March and SIGI. And we get to see all these clips
and in the corner. In the corner there's SIGI watching it. She just goes like this.
Poking. Poking. Poking it is really. Who pokes cous cous? Okay, here's what I have. Montage lost love when she's trying to
siggy literally. What does that mean? Saga, sig.
You have no compassion.
Siggy, I hate the fucking bitch. Marge, she cries hysterically.
She says this because she has a new year dress. I mean, this one has to get up.
Here we go a little too fast here, Ronnie. We got a little bit of it.
I'm trying to skip over.
If we want to stop.
Stop.
Stop.
I'm there.
We skipped over nothing.
OK, by the way, for those of you keeping score.
So, I mean, basically, so Andy first asks, so like,
Sikki, what was the deal with you selling the soggy t-shirts?
You hated the soggy things so much.
Why are you selling your t-shirts?
And she's like, I like to take a negative, positive.
Now when people call me soggy flicka,
I don't mind it that much.
And it's like, okay, soggy, like, how dare you?
How dare you?
Now when people call me soggy flicka,
I get 10 cents from a t-shirt sale.
Like, you know that bitch trademarked it too.
Yeah. Like, that's the girl to go trademark McDonald's. Like, you know that bitch trademarked it too. Yeah.
Like, that's the girl to go trademark McDonald's.
Like, you can't just trademark something
that's not yours, Sigi.
It's like Burger King.
I know.
That's me.
It's like those people who copyright or trademarked
the Happy Birthday song, which is so obnoxious.
Thankfully, you know that exercise.
Yeah, thanks a lot, Rihanna.
Well, I'm glad it expires how we could do things
like play this
By the way, there are some people who are here who don't watch bravo who've been dragged along
I'm so sorry. Yours must be so confused.
So so confused. Bless your hearts.
Well, here I'll give you a gift. For those of you who just came here to see something sexy.
Here we go. On Facebook.
That's Rob. That was a love handle.
Ronnie has just revealed his rondon.
Rondon Dolly, baby. Oh, dolly shirt.
Thank you for listening at home across the world.
Girl, I told you, I'm the only person
who sweats and busts it.
So, it was 20 degrees.
I was like, football.
Look at that.
So Andy asked, like, so Theresa, what
did you think about this whole ordeal? It's a sort of like that. And she's like, yeah, they both hit below the belts.
And think is like, no, I'm defending myself. I don't start it. I'm like, okay,
say you just have to relax because you guys did have a summit at a diner over cheesy fries.
And you guys both apologize. And then it was like the next episode where you were like,
I will never forgive her. She's an evil person for making fun of me!
One Mississippi to Mississippi, three myths.
Those disco fries were delicious.
Do you have any of this gravy to go for Mississippi?
Come on. So we start, we go into the origins of the show.
Yoga, what?
Yoga guys.
So remember that time when they went out of town,
and then Ziggy was like,
I'm not about cake!
And then Dolores and Ziggy stayed in.
They're still mad.
Ziggy's like, how could you do this?
Someone's mother dies and you don't tell your friends
to come to the re-thing on the beach
where Theresa swam, even though she's scared to death of water.
She's like, oh my god, I'm so scared of water.
Like surfing out there with her mom's re-
And Marge is like, what? I didn't know they weren't gonna come. I'm like, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Like, I said, you wanna come to yoga?
I didn't even know.
I said, yeah, I just wear the girl.
I got into a van, okay?
I don't know.
It was crazy.
I didn't think that these flower wreaths
were gonna turn into a world worth three
over here all of a sudden.
It's like, I gotta call it now.
What are we gonna do next?
Call it much senior and to grow with the British accent.
I'm in jail, what about Margo number two
and the Margo number three?
What about Shoshana and Jody number one through five?
They all have to come to Memorial 2 now.
I mean, give me a break already.
What's the difference?
Classic Mods, okay.
It's like yoga or a funeral.
Like what's the difference?
They should have totally known the difference.
It's like, I didn't do it in me, and so,
Sikki's like, oh really?
You just found a wreath?
Where'd you get a wreath? And Margot like, uh, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Who's Kanye and who's Serge?
So I mean I love I love when I think we cannot outstupid each other. No, we're always gonna ask stupid
Okay, I will say this okay. I'm gonna say something controversial which is I mean I'm very upset with Siggy because wheat like Tyra bangs. We were rooting for you
because wheat, like tire bags, we were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you.
We were all rooting for you.
And you have made it hard for me to love you the way I want
to love you, Sige.
OK, and the truth is, when this fight first started,
I kind of understood Sige's point of view.
I mean, it really wouldn't have been so hard for Mars
to just text Sige and be like, hey, I'm going to do a memorial
thing.
I think that Sige actually has a point about that.
But maybe the rest of the stuff know.
I have to say at first I did,
because it's like you wanna go to yoga's and she's like,
no, but look, she could have been like,
I'm mad at you or be.
I don't wanna go to fucking yoga.
Listen, I love all of you here.
I'm so sorry if your mom died yesterday. I ain't going to yoga to fucking yoga. Listen, I love all of you here. I'm so sorry if your mom died yesterday.
I ain't going to yoga for your ass, okay?
I'll send you a card, I'll hug you.
I'll eat an entire pizza with you while we cry
to like reruns of Melrose place.
I'm not going to yoga for your ass, I don't care.
So if she's saying like, you want to kind of yoga?
Not.
I'm like, no, I won't because I'm hurt.
And also, somebody had a shape. Like or not? I'm like, no, I won't because I'm hurt.
And also, somebody had a shape.
Like, what am I going to put my ankle behind my ear?
No, what are you monster?
OK, no.
But she said it and I'm like, what?
The lady with the ankles behind the ears told me,
they're not going to come.
But I ordered a reach from the concierge.
Like, OK, I can see that.
But also, she's like, I brought you in.
Now you didn't use central casting bitch, shut up, Ziggy.
Well, I-
Ziggy did not cast anybody.
Well, I appreciate the listener, her name is Charlotte,
from, I don't know, from Acton Massage.
She sits from the web.
Yeah, I know my areas.
And she's basically like, you know,
Ziggy you're supposed to be a relationship person,
whatever, you know, having a pigtails party
to mock Marge is as mean girls as you can get.
And Sigi goes, no, that's fighting back.
I'm like, okay, this is not like,
this is not the women's march, okay?
The pigtail party was you mocking.
And I think that's the thing that's been really
annoying me about Sigi all the time.
Like I don't mind, you know,
someone who's super petty on these shows.
But what I do mind is that when you then say that you relationship counselor and then you're gonna help people come together and then you're such a
Hip-a-crit about this bullshit
Just just lean into the patty-ness and then I'll I'll love you forever
But has anybody ever known an emotionally stable counselor? Let's be honest
Trust me. I've been to ten of them. The best thing I ever got out of them
was an Ambien prescription.
No offense.
No offense if you're currently listening.
Love you, mean it, call me with Ambien.
So Margaret, it's like, okay, look.
Like, I can't even win here, okay?
I'm like a soccer ball that no one'll kick.
I'm not gonna win anything.
So that's like, Ambien, Ambien, just tell her,
I'm sorry for anything I ever did. I'm not going to win anything. So that's what Andy, Andy, just tell her, I'm sorry for anything I ever did.
I'm really sorry.
What about the uterus?
I mean, Jesus, literally.
What about the uterus?
I'm making fun of my uterus's emotions.
What about my emotional uterus?
I was thinking about behavior.
It's behavior, behavior.
What about my uterus's behavior? So. What about my universe's behavior?
So what about making fun on Manipur's? And then Martin, she's obviously been taking
the shit on Twitter the whole season.
So she's got a defense now, you know.
So she's like the good fight, not the good wife,
but the good fight where they're like poor lawyers
who have to take anybody in.
And they're like, okay, we've seen this battery thing a million times.
We can defend it.
That's her.
So she's like, you know what I think?
I think that bringing up your uterus and menopause
when to excuse your behavior is offensive
to women everywhere.
Okay, that's what I think.
Classic Joan.
I was like, oh my God, speak at the woman's march.
Yes.
That's it.
I hope Classic March though, get a rally. Because march. Yes. That's it. I hope classic march though get a rally
because I support it.
I support it 100%.
Men of pause does not last three seasons or whatever.
Like two years, two and a half years.
It doesn't, okay.
My mom got a hysterectomy
and still was an A-hole for five years after, okay?
You don't just get the blame that forever.
Sorry, mom, I know you're not listening.
You don't get to use that forever.
I'm like, I'm gay, I'm defensive.
I've been gay since I was 15 and 42.
Like, how long do I get to use that?
I feel like, how lucky are you to have us?
Have two gay men talk about women reproductive system
to you?
Oh my God, girl.
I didn't even know what a pussy hat was.
I saw one today, and I've seen these online before,
because you know we walk through the women's march.
And I was like, what are all those hats?
They're like, duh.
They're pussy, he's like the kitty cats.
He's like, what are those now pink teeth hats?
So I thought they were the best to be like literal,
the shape of, they were right when they first came out
the pussy hat.
I feel like I saw them on Facebook
and I was like oh my god that's an actual pussy but like how would I know?
No, like as far as I'm concerned it's an exit sign. Here's right there. Do you not enter? Here's what we know.
Okay. We just we've learned a long time ago not to talk about women We have whatever I'll be have never the long minutes lift no
We have 20 right
20 minutes right?
745 I'm sure no no no before we get to Danielle. We have to get to this. This is very important
Margaret your brain was getting death threats
From Pita Margaret was getting death threats from PETA.
Oh my god, the PETA.
Okay, so I'm gonna say that.
Because sticky called PETA, right, you're right.
Look, I rearranged.
I'm like, I'm gonna sit up not straight still, but I'll rearrange.
I'll slouch in this position.
Okay, so this PETA.
I love that they actually showed the thing.
Yeah, because he goes, look, I mean, she's been attacking me.
I got death threats, okay?
She called Pita on me and thinking,
goes, Pita, I don't even know their number.
I don't even know.
And then they showed that Sigi had retweeted,
she had tweeted something that was a comparison of Sigi's
foyer, which has all these pictures
of her and then like a bearer, a taxidermy bearer in Margaret's.
And it basically says something, her tweet says, photos of me gifted by my husband to display
are overbearing and the shrine, but the stuffed dead caucus of an innocent bearer is acceptable
they call pure evil must be stopped at Peter.
So she's like, I didn't call them, but I retweeted them.
Like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I say gay.
That's overbearing.
And also, she's like, I just retweeted it.
And then they show this paragraph long tweet of Sigis.
And it's like the bear and the four, you're like,
eh.
And also, it wasn't in the four year, wasn't at the top of her bedroom stairs or whatever
For you to foyer you make fun of my foyer. Oh make funny. Yeah, for you don't talk about my foyer
Must be stopped at Peter
So of course Peter girl Peter. I don't know what their social media person is doing,
but they're like, all right, kill them,
act kill them, kill them.
I'm like, well, PETA.
Okay.
So there are different shades of crime.
So Margaret has the best defense.
She goes, oh yeah, oh yeah.
What about Veele?
What about Veele?
Oh, okay, okay.
I feel and wear leather shoes in a fur.
Like, okay, wait and erase your argument.
Yeah.
She's like, oh, it's just no big deal.
I only eat animals and wear them for luxury.
Oh, really?
I really did you ever see a little Vio?
Did you ever see it?
It self-led off.
It's an aluminum case.
It's a metal aluminum case.
It's a metal aluminum case.
It's a metal aluminum case.
Not even like metal metal.
Like a lemon.
It's like he didn't engage me that of Diet Coke cans.
Basically a little deal.
Yo, it's been killed a bear.
Little deal.
Little deal.
Did you see the tiny feel?
They just keep repeating it back and forth.
I'm not sure that but your husband stabbed a bear in the head and gutted it.
And got sped all over.
By the way, sorry to the forest,
who has big guts all over it.
Marikos, the bear ran.
A lovely life.
The bear ran.
The bear ran.
The little wheel.
It was an aluminum cage.
How about that?
The bear ran, it was happy.
It's like, and then you gutted it.
Oh yeah, what about the wheel?
And today we were talking about this.
And he's like, is real and animal?
It's like, I was like, you know, a little tiny view.
Walking around.
Yes, not like, it's like rolled up with Parmesan. And it's like, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man comes Daniel Stov. Oh my god. Okay, real quick, are we broke?
Oh, who is here is happy that Daniel Stov is back.
Who is anti Daniel Stov?
But who is anti, but happy that she's here.
Right?
I'm very happy with this development.
I think Daniel Stov is iconic in all the wrong ways.
Of course, true to Andy, tradition. He's like, so now, let's welcome Daniel Stobb.
I'm like, what? This is not even how you say it, Andy.
So embarrassed. He's like, I'd like to welcome Sarah Struthers.
She's like, my name is Daniel Stombs.
Daniel Stalves.
She's like, are you fucking with me now Andy?
Are you?
She emerges like shrouded in shadows.
And Dolores is like, you know what I have to say?
You know what I think about you?
I think you're like a piece of shit.
But you look amazing.
You better be glad you're not Mexican.
OK, so some of the reasons people still like Daniel
is because they didn't release so much of the shit
that happened this season.
She went on this racist rant against some guy
she was dating that was caught on tape.
This is not just made up by reality.
One Mr. Cipi, two Mr. Tepi.
It's real.
She was so nasty and so racist and awful.
So that's why people are still like, yay!
You're all racist.
I hope you're happy, I'm just kidding.
To them like, how dare you, ma'am.
So she comes on into Jessica Rabbit thing
and he's like, very understated.
And you built a model home for this show, Shut Up Andy.
And Andy goes, Danielle, last time you were on a house
as reunion, Teresa pushed me.
And of all the things, it's not like, oh my god,
remember when Andy was lightly pushed in film
to a chair?
Oh my god.
It's like a way to bring up the heroic thing Hitler did.
He's like, hey, Hitler, remember that time
you saved a dog from getting run over?
Thanks.
He's like, wait a minute, stop getting us to try and hitler,
OK?
You guys said no whether the were not right means I'm doing my job
So there are a bunch of questions about Danielle and you're like Mexican racism
What no, I'm just like oh my god. We have so much good
No, it's them. Oh, damn them. I'm not you. I'm just like to do I know I'm just like oh my god, we have so much good
I'm not you I'm just like to do I know I'm like mute delete delete delete delete
Shut up on a bottle
Too many Hollywood's or whoever
Should we talk about cake gate?
Cake gate?
Cake gate, do it.
I'm sitting back to like signal that I'm quiet.
I'm so happy.
Who here actually enjoyed cake gate?
Because I did.
I did.
I loved it.
I love a few that revolves around a baked good.
That's very important to me.
This is Teresa.
You remember how earlier, like, Teresa's really
accepting responsibility.
Okay, this is Teresa.
They're like, cake, ape.
Remember when you see that cake?
And she's like, oh, no, bacon.
And then Teresa's like, you know what?
It was like, plastic, that came. It was like, this much came. And Matrice was like, you know what? It was like plastic. I came.
And it was like this much cane.
And then it was plastic.
And I got mad because it was plastic.
So I threw it.
I was like, what are you going to throw
the entire cast over the couch?
So what do we judge on that?
So one thing that I really annoyed me here with Sigi was that she was not taking any
Responsibility, you know like I get why she was angry
But like like so why did you pour the wine out?
She's like well, I was with my friends can't I be with my friends like well, then what about the cake thing? Well
That was different. Yeah, but the wine she's like, okay, a wine is like this.
It's on a table like this.
It's a table. The cake was like that.
You see, it was like that.
She goes, wine was like this.
I know she does this catch all things and saying,
listen, I'm a human being, but you know what I do?
I own it. I own it. I'm like, listen Lisa, Runa.
You don't own it.
Baby, you don't. Because everything that she answered after that was like, I was drunk. I was drunk. I don't really remember. I don't even know. I was like, that's not only it.
Okay, this is Lisa Rina.
She's like, Hi, how are you?
I'm so sorry, I'm late.
I'm so sorry, I'm late.
Lisa's husband abused a person in the dog store.
He did coconut bath in the room, and your daughter's a heroin addict.
Okay, hi.
Hey, listen guys.
Gauze. Gauze.
So here's the deal. Here's the deal. We have to wrap this up, but, but I've got
an idea. There's a rest, awesome restaurant, like literally across the hall over there.
We're gonna all go over there and how about we just finish it up there?
Alright, let's get it. So, meet us, give us like 10 or fifteen minutes. We'll go there. There's a restaurant
It's like the Sinclair restaurant. It's the Sinclair
We got a clear this out. There's not a band so don't linger in this bar area. Just go to the restaurant
I'm gonna see you over there. Everybody love you
We love you. Thank you for coming. Thank you
Thank you
I don't know bye everyone on Facebook
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