Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Posche Spice

Episode Date: December 8, 2017

It's the most wonderful time of the year: the Posche Fashion Show! Come join us as we recap Tre's attempted shakedown of Kim D on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Plus, a frumpy medium! We're such a freakout over this. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens

Who cares what happens Who cares what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens Who cares what happens Kids want happiness when they're so happy. It's a brilliant crime. It's a brilliant crime. Kids want happiness when they're so much that's happy. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

come over to facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapans.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch a crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker from Beseblog.com and the band to blend a podcast and joining me on this lovely, beautiful Thursday is Ronny Karem from trashtalktv.com and the Roseprick Spatial Podcast. What's up, Ronny? Well, hello, Ben. Oh, you sound deep in Sullen. Did you like that?

I'm not sullen. I just thought I'd be sexy because the town's burning down and I'm going to use my sexy low oxygen voice for the intro. Well, you have the right idea. You got on a plane and headed to Texas while the rest of us are going to face the fury of all our sitting ways. Good, good, world. Yeah, this is just madness.

I hope everyone down the street from us is okay down in Belair and Brentwood, et cetera, and up in so much. That is crazy. This video footage looks like a movie. It looks nuts out there. It is absolutely, absolutely bonkers. Yeah, everyone, take care of yourself. It's like the world just ain't gonna stop.

Yes, it ain't gonna stop. I'll tell you what else won't stop. Massive self promotion. Tomorrow is a super exciting day for us because we are having like the water crappins, ticket blitz Friday, madness day. This is bonkers, okay? We have so many shows going on sale tomorrow. First we got at

10 a.m. Eastern. We have our second DC show going on sale. That's at the DC improv. So if you missed it the first time and a lot of people did, we're getting you're getting a second chance. Those tickets go on sale. Man, yeah, no, well, Friday, I should say, because who knows when you're listening to this? Friday at 10 a.m. Eastern, and then at 11 a.m. Eastern, to be a whole bunch of shows going on sale. New York City, Barry Barber, that goes on sale officially this time, last week was a fall start,

but this time it's a fish. That's going on sale. Two different Chicago sales are going, Chicago shows are going on sale at 11 a.m. Eastern. We also have... Let's see, we also have a second Boston show also that's going on sale at 11 a.m. Eastern. That's right, Boston is getting a second show because there are so many people who want to see Boston, do not get tickets, or just people who want to see it again. So a second Boston show is on the roster.

And because we just can't control ourselves, guess what? Also, it was going on sale tomorrow at 11 a.m. Eastern. The McGrib, the McGrib sandwich is back. The McGrib sandwich is going on sale. No, how about this? A Detroit show. Yes, we tested the waters earlier this week,

and we decided we're just going to go for it. I did a show at the in Detroit at the majestic tickets are going on sale 11 a.m. Lies. I said Detroit was going on sale at 11 a.m. Wrong Detroit is going on sale at 10 a.m. Wrong Detroit is going on sale at 10 a.m. DC and Detroit going on sale at 10 a.m. Everything else 11 a.m.

And you know what else is on sale 11 a.m. Houston Houston tickets get your Houston tickets. Actually, you can get it right now. Damn, I'm tired just from listening to that. I didn't even do anything. I feel like I was selling cars. Wow, that was fun. I mean, we have, I mean, if so, a watcher crappens out

car. Look, get on ya. Watcher crappens. You'd look great driving in the round. Don't know, watcher crappens. Yeah. Brand new watcher crappens. Right. An extra thousand. I'll put some plethora on the Ben seat. I just revamped the hour show schedule on our website. I revamped it like two days ago and I revamped the hour show schedule on our website. I revamped it like two days ago and I revamped it yesterday. So and all the entire schedule of hour shows and any new shows that come on will are at watchercrapins.com. And from there you have links to all the different ticket things.

And by the way, I should mention one last thing before we get into this New Jersey episode. The New York show, if you have an American Express, you can actually buy tickets already. There's an American Express pre-sale that's happening. Watch your crap and dot com. And that's all she wrote. That's it.

All the promotions done. Yeah. That's fun. That's fun. Detroit. I'm excited for Detroit. That's gonna be really cool. That's gonna be a Ah, man to Chicago to DC to Boston Detroit. I've never been to Detroit. I'm excited to see what it's like. I've been to the airport It was fun. Well, I saw it on The wonderful film Dreamgirls. I saw it on 8 Mile. I feel like my movie was more entertaining. Yours is a very sad video, okay? I can't imagine 8 Mile was a very happy movie.

I feel like I've seen Detroit in other movies. I mean, I'm sure we have. I can't think. I'm trying to think. But maybe I'll be able to name them once I go, they'll be like, oh my God, I remember that from whatever film Beyonce was in that one time. I mean, I saw Jim girls too. So I've also seen it from that. But I thought I thought of eight mile because eight mile is, you know, the name is from a part of Detroit.

I just don't like that it doesn't have an S at the air, but I just couldn't watch it. And then so much told me it's not supposed to. It's like, don't tell me it's not supposed to. We don't get to just change English, okay? You know, it's funny because the one movie that I don't remember, I'm not seeing Detroit from, is the movie Detroit, which came out like three months ago. Yeah, there's a movie called Detroit that came out.

I didn't even remember about that movie. I mean, it's Cather's Bealow. There's there's a movie called Detroit. I didn't even learn about that movie. I mean, get this cat and be on. Just be on say take a day. Yeah. That's my question. Well, either way, I'm going to watch Detroit on the plane to Detroit. But oh, by the way, we should probably tell people

that Detroit show is on March 24th. So that's going to be like two, except our Houston show. So March is going to be a little busy for us. Yeah, holler to the baller. Holler to the people. And we are still working on shows and other cities. We have been, now we're like on a roll.

So other venues are reaching out to us. So it's like a Seabes cool. We feel more like a- No, I'm tired now, that's it. I'm tired. I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. If you say I have to do one more thing. We're already talking about things to do. We're already talking about things to do.

The list is too long. I'm texting you every day like, now when is this show? Where is it? It's like go to watch it's crap and stuff. It's like the pre-short. The pre-show ritual is that Ronnie turns into like Pam at like customer service at Hertz. Like listen Pam, I ordered a mini van on April 3rd. Okay, now hold on, let me just write this down one second. It's hilarious.

But now you have to not only write things down, I have to write them down and then put an alert on the calendar. So it actually poses. Me too, it's just funny because you're always like, gosh, like you're always you're always like in the process of rewriting them down You're like okay hold on Ben. Let me get a pad. All right, I've been guess what I lose the pad or I lose the paper Well, you don't have to worry about it Ronny because it's all online It look it's I'm actually very proud of it. It looks like very profess. It does I like it I was like a table now classic match classic mod. Okay, you know it. It's like very professional. It does, I like it. I was like that. I was like a table now. Classic match.

Classic match. Okay, you know what? It's like the Big Beth collection, but in like calendar form. Let's talk about Real House, what's New Jersey. Okay, we can't deal with this anymore. It's like it's ridiculous. Talking about all these concert shows

when there's like a posh fashion show to be discussed. Like, what is this? Is this like some crazy Bizarre world where like we're getting beige walls on the walls? Okay, I don't get it. What was I going to say to you about that? Hold on, I didn't think about it. You're like, I wasn't ready to pivot. I wasn't ready to pivot.

You know what happened? I wrote half of these notes in bed. And then I emailed them to myself. So I got to the desk and I copy and pasted them in there. But I put them in the wrong spot. I'm trying to find where the beginning is. Well, while you look at that, I can lead your hand to the beginning of the episode. Do you want to do it like that movie that's backwards?

You just said it today. It goes backwards. Yeah. I meant, oh, yeah. Melissa, Joe, Margaret, Joe, Joe, Melissa, I'm just a simple girl who can speak to dead people and ask no dead people to love her. Okay. Anyway, so I'm just an odd lady with a zebra and pom tree shirt who's been talking to dead people that she was a baby.

I'm just a simple girl who wears lapis lazuli versions of the safari. I'm just a girl, a girl standing in a bookstore. Just a simple girl who wears lapis lazuli versions of the safari. I'm just a girl, a girl standing in a bookstore. I'm waiting for Hugh Grant to take her off a feet while she's talking to dead people. Okay. I'm just a girl standing in front of Hugh Grant asking Hugh Grant. Is your mother with us right now because I feel like... Anyway, asking Hugh Grant. Do you know Julie Roberts? What's her phone number?

I would love to talk to her dead people Hugh Grant, I want you to know I feel someone here It's divine brown, divine, say hi to you again Oh, so this episode opens up as all good New Jersey episodes With classic match We just hear her go, Jow, Jow, Jow

Oh, did I rip the sofa? Did I rip? I'm a freak out with these shoes with classic match. We just hear her go, Joe, Joe, Joe. Oh, did I rip the sofa? Did I, I'm a freak out with these shoes. This, you know, it's like, it's crazy. It's classic, it's classic match. I just, I put these shoes on this new couch. This couch cost me like $15,000. Very different.

It's very expensive and I put my shoes on. I just tear them, such a freak out. I'm a freak out. So I tell Joe and all the time, like I've got a joke for you and you're like, you're such a freak out. I'm like, I'm gonna take that. I'm gonna make a mind,

because what I'm gonna tell people came from you because I'm such a Joan Like seriously Joe. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be upset for the shoes of the couch Like they both cost so much money Joe. I'm a freak out. I'm like a total freak out right now You know what you know what I need to do? I need to like totally just like Emily Dickinson up with Sylvia Plathett I don't know which ones which but I'm gonna stick my head into an oven. Oh God. It doesn't work I'm like a freak out with the ovens too. It's like Joe it like never ends Joe I feel like she wouldn't know who either one of those people are but she's named like some kind of collection after them

The plath collection I think studio plath put her head in the oven, right? It was her right Emily J. Conson probably just laughed Charles I love him Emily J. Conson probably just laughed Charles. I love him Charles Dickinson oh the Christmas Carol rider Yes, listen, I'm coming up with a new line of shoes. I'm going to my lot. I'm hoping new new line of shoes It's called the missus have a shim collection, okay? You wear them. They're just like you just put them in your closet for 15 years You pull them out you put them on

So the door rings or knocks because I don't think anybody has a doorbell here in New Jersey because people are always knocking on these gigantic doors. It's very succumbed. It's very weird. And it's like, get the jaw gel. Like what are you doing here? Seriously, drop the confetti on the floor and get the door. So you go together and just joy see it.

Terri interior designer. Look, you wouldn't be a proper interior designer in New Jersey without a $10,000 purse that you've been dazzled. But what did that bitch glue on to her purse? It wasn't a little person. I'm a person. Is that a bump? It was like, Joyce, what are you doing? What are you bringing here? What are you smuggling in here? You're like, you're purse so bulky. I put a bump in on it. I'm a Jersey decorator. Classic badge. Oh, oh.

Joyce, I can't handle it. It's like this, this, this living room. It's like a ballroom meets a salon, meets another ballroom, meets a dining room, meets a living room, meets a den. It's like everything all in once. I want you to do something with it right now because Joe's out there's not gonna do anything with it. Well, she will do something with it.

She will glue a lot of plastic jewels to things because that's what she's done to her purse. Run away from Joyce. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You are supposed to judge books by their counter. Yeah.

Otherwise, you'll read terrible books. Okay. Well, it's funny as like up into this point, Joyce hasn't really talked and they're looking at this room and Joe's like, I think what I, my vision is I want to put in a whole bunch of beige walls that's what I want beige was he had this one beige was Joe you know what you're the contractor you execute the vision I I styled the vision that's what it was supposed to do I mean things are not moving as smoothly as planned with the margin the Joe but they are working well with the Joyce and then Joyce is like I mean I do have a few colors schemes and a measure of space.

Right now. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, things like Joyce I can't handle it like seriously I'm a freak out I can't handle it it's crazy I threatened Joe I've done every sexual favor for him you ever given a contractor a dirty son just like it's disgusting like we're not having beige walls okay I can't have a freak out classic mind let me ask you something Joyce you have you have a duct tape something like that I totally like ripped my $15,000 couch while I was just sitting putting my shoes on like who puts a shoe on an expensive couch Like it's what a very stupid thing. It's like am I like the creative the make Beth collection I'm at the creative just like the hamlet collection at this point like honestly. I don't even know Joyce like I'm such a freak out classic match And me oh hand over that shoe. I'll glue it to my purse

Like thank you. Thank you for making it all make sense again Joyce So Joe and Melissa Melissa's like you eat because know, everything has to be about how Melissa is either serving her husband or, you know, trying to be a feminist with a push up bra. Like every single scene, especially this season, she's like, did you eat? Can I make you something? He's like, yeah, make a salad.

Throw on some chicken. Like, yeah, you're still a man. Still got it, Joe. So Joe is sad. Joe sad now because he's sad. He misses his mom and he's not feeling better. So he wants to get a medium. And so he's like, he's like, listen, Melissa, I want to get a medium. And she's like, well, I'm glad you're not getting small anymore because honestly. So, um, he's like, all right, like I like to call him, magnums. It's like, oh, okay, we get it.

You've got a huge one. I love how this show goes from like, I'm really depressed. I can't stop thinking about mom. Hey, let's cut, it's like, then it turns all fine. So, he based it, he's like, he's like, I'm old school. Like, I'm old school. I don't believe in mediums. I believe in holding in your emotions and when they get drunk and dry

Humphengue statue with the olive garden. That's why I handle it. I don't believe in mediums, but I believe in spray on hair It's like I'm with you Joe. I'm with you. Okay, you can actually feel that on your scalp. I don't believe in mediums But I do believe in shmidians. Okay. I like Melissa. She says, you know, Joe's just going to miss his mom forever. And that's just how it's going to be. I know from experience, trust me. Like he lost his sock one time. He's still crying in the middle of the night. He wakes up.

He doesn't like losing things. Okay. So, so naturally, Melissa's like, oh, you're feeling things. Anyway, can I tell you about what Kim D did? Or actually, she's really talking about how Kim D started this. She starts rehashing. Kim D was talking to her, starting a rumor, and sinking into Laura's room in his shop, he couldn't believe it.

So then we cross. I love what these people keep saying, rekindling. You can tell us the first time they've ever heard this word, because everyone's saying it over and over. She's like rekindling. He's like, huh? Transpired. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just repeating it. She says, uh, she's rekindling things with an ex. So, so she says, and he's like, I'm not dating tree again. We broke up in junior high.

So then we go over to Marge who's talking to Joe about the whole situation. You know, Kim D. She's saying these terrible things. There's this big fight. And I was like, oh my god, this is just very difficult. It's like classic much. It's not funny. It's not like Joan Rivers. But she's like, guess what?

We heard, rekindling. Okay. And then Teresa threw a wine glass on a wall. That's why we're not getting white walls, Joe. Do you understand? We have a new friend now. wall. That's why we're not getting white walls, Joe. Do you understand? We have a new friend now, okay? They cannot come into library. Turns out that I went onto Amazon.com,

they're also rekindling. It's crazy, it's everywhere you go. You just, everywhere you look on there, like rekindle this, rekindle that. It's like I get it, Amazon.com, I'm not gonna go date you now, okay? Classic much. Why would I pay $300 for rekindling?

Like seriously, that's wacky dude. That's like freak out Amazon. Yeah, eminence like such a freak out right now. They're just trying to constantly rekindle things with me and like I moved on. And then Joe back at Joe's house, he's like, it's like supporting an animal. Which made me crack up.

I don't know why. Why do you have a dog? I'm sorry to leave hanging there. I was supporting animals. It wasn't bad. You muted to have a dog? I'm sorry to leave hanging there. I was supporting animals, isn't bad. You muted to eat a french fry. Damn you. I did because right before this podcast started,

my boyfriend walked in and gave me McDonald's french fries. And I cannot be a human being and let these fries get cold and nasty. So I'm trying to sneak them in on mute every now and then. It's like what you did earlier this week when you were like, you were like trying to sneak them in on mute every now and then it's like wait It's like what you did earlier this week when you were like you were like trying to take a sip of something So you muted me. I mean you made it yourself and you're like here bends about to have a monologue and I was like And she was funny

So Joe Joe and Mark I don't know they they're all talking She's like talking to recap. Oh, yeah, oh, when you go over there when you go over there You can't need to duck and weave because that sounds like some dramas She's like what we've what hitting me like I can out rent any women high heels Joe I even talking about Joe ducking and weaving look what are we like birds? We're like crafting now we can go to to Michaels and then like put on feathers, kind of get a joke, like you're just very ridiculous.

How about this, leave the jokes to me, Joe. I leave the jokes in the couch turned to me because I'm a freak out and I'm like a Joe. And I'm a Joan freak out. That's basically what I am, classic match. Feel free to fight about this when the camera's leave, Joe. Okay, Joe.

So, Sigi and Dolores go to Posh. And Sigi makes an entrance, like she always does she's like hold on I got weekend calls. I know wonderful Okay, just park your fucking car and give it to me then she walks in she's like Hello everybody Hello, like you're not the star on this movie set okay? Just go in there put on your spandex and shut up. It's hard to make an entrance at the posh fashion show

because everyone there is already in clown makeup. So to stand out, you have to really, you have to like arrive on like a Thanksgiving day, like float at that point. Like you need to be like singing to track with a giant balloon of Pikachu over your head and a big entrance at the Posh Fashion Show. I have a feeling that's how every woman entered the Posh Fashion Show.

Singing to track. Yeah, they're like, hello everybody! They're all probably singing like some 1992 Mariah. Like, it's like, make it happen. Yeah, like someone's coming in, you know, singing emotions. So Kim D enters basically the same way. like someone's coming in, you know, singing emotions. So Kim Deenters, basically the same way.

Hello everybody. Wow. Hello. Hello. No hair, thanks today girls. No hair, thanks today. They're long and soft today. We're doing today.

Today is today. We're doing today. I love your spandex, honey. Come on. Could you come up with something better? Both of these. I love your spandex honey. I'm like come on could you come up with something better Both of these ladies are wearing black spandex addresses and they had to provide their own fish nets Like what kind of matamari you? Maram the Laura's the Laura's I got a dress you have perfect for you. It's just like a tube dress But it has a parallelogram cut out

Can I wear a gold belt again? Can I wear a metal belt that has... Sure, sure. That might cut me if I'm ever in a wreck. Sure. Of course. I can't even really tell in my mind what the voice difference is between Sige and Kim D.

I just feel like I smoke a lot, but everyone in Jersey smokes more than me. I feel like Kim D is more like D. Kim D is more like this. Siggie is more like this. And Joyce and your designer is more like this. It's just like someone's trying to electricity up a little higher on Kim D with each one. By the way, I have to say, I've really grown to appreciate the way that Kim D holds court.

You know, we saw it last week at her shop. She just finds a stool or a chair. She crosses her legs, slings one hand over the back of the chair, and then just does not move. And she's just like, all right, I found my spot to sit. I'm going to sit here in spread room. It's what I'll do. Yeah, she's not even going to get up to fight.

She's like, look, no one's handing me a fucking zip lock ham sandwich to hold in the opening. And until they do, I'm staying seated ladies. Listen, these varicose veins won't heal themselves. I'm sitting down. So, Siggie's like, we wanted to tell you. We saw the girls. And Dolores is like, I told you I was gonna tell three guess what I told her and she's like okay Bring it when they say Well, she took a wine glass and she chucked it across the floor I'm still trying to find the wine glass maker to tell him I appreciate his spiritual creation

It's like they hate you so much Kim D that that's what they did to a brick wall Kim D is like well Let the records show that my strange girl right here Lena. She saw a tree Standing with the boy. How about that? Lena I get from here Lena is the girl that draped a Mateo played in surprise. Yeah She says totally based on her. Yes. She's like hey It was like this I was in the club and I saw Teresa and she went like this to a dude

She puts her arm around the guys waste. Oh my god I can stop the presses. Yeah, and see you and say you and Dolores are just basically like Like so what like it's no big deal like doesn't mean anything and she's not cheating like shut up crazy Lena I hug my banker like that. Did he stick anything inside of a it didn't count and when there's children Involved like oh, we all care about the children now and when that's children involved. Like, oh, we all care about the children, man. Theresa is Theresa on national TV, okay? I think we're past worrying about the children.

Exactly. And Kim D is just thinking to her line of defense, she's like, I heard Theresa's done with Joe anyway. So what's the big deal? What's the big deal? She's done with him anyway. And you know what, Kim D is probably right. Yeah, she's right.

I mean, we all have texture. We all know that. We all know that Kim D is right, right? Okay, good. Yeah, Kim D is correct. Look, a person who is incorrect would have stood up. She's like, no, I'm gonna sit here and just nod a lot and say, I don't care.

Okay, so a chef commercial came on. Okay, this is why this show, I haven't even been able to watch it yet, because these commercials, he goes, Gourish, she's not gonna chase moms, she's not gonna taste moms meatloaf anytime soon. Really fast forward, I hate you, please die. Okay.

Just make side of her top chef. Your mother does not make meatloaf, okay. Okay, Kim and Dolores. Oh, yeah. So we come back and Kim's like, what's the big friggin' deal? I'm saying she doesn't like a husband. She doesn't even date him anymore. He's like, he's in jail, Kim.

And Dolores is like, well, I don't want to walk in any one show. But you know what? I don't believe that about Teresa. So I'm going to walk because it's fecurity. And I I'm gonna walk because it's fecurity. And I love that they keep saying it's fecurity. She's getting her sunseats re-apholstered. Yeah. This is not fecurity.

This is for their egos. They just want to walk in a fashion show. Let's be honest. Yes. I mean, she's already making clothes for trashy poor people. What more can the woman do? Yeah, exactly.

So then we go to, then elsewhere you know Teresa shows at Melissa's house they're like gonna they're getting their hair and makeup there and meanwhile Daniel shows up in Marge's place and Marge is still not ready to sing hi hi hi I'm like I'm like half done in my rollers I should just go like this is like I'm a total freak out look like the look as freak sailor chic that's my that's my look right now like designer of McBeth Collection discovered at posh fashion show looking like a freak out. Honestly classic mod classic mod and she's standing next to an eight-foot tall stuffed bear Like a real bear. Oh, I didn't notice that looks like it's about to bite her head off It was the funny because she's just standing up there with girl who's in her hair and the bears like

In a tac mode, you know? Like this bear, this bear's a freak out. And it's a total freak out. It's like, you know, it's like, it's not my fault that like one bed was like too hard and one bed was too soft. And the next one was just, right, I'm sorry bears, that's just the way it is.

I like it, it's just, it's just very nice. Classic mod, classic mod. Hey, where's your brothers? The other bear and the other bear classic. I don't know. You got jumped bear. Hey, you just got jumped. You know, this bear, this bear, he has to go to synagogue soon.

You know, it's a baron scene bear, you know Jewish bear. Do not throw coins. It is had at the bottom. It's fine. He doesn't think it well. I don't think that it happens at the bottom. It's was I say it was a Jew throwing the bottom it's fine. I don't think that happens at our missus. I say that's a Jew throwing coins at people's heads. I think you throw coins on the ground, don't you?

That might have been 11. He's wedding. I was that like honestly, I was a child. I think I think you're thinking of public countenance. No, no, it's people on the dashboard. Everyone's throwing money on the ground. Maybe I just kept throwing them at the person's head. That's why I say that. It's not. I mean, there's all traditions.

I think El Paso, we just really make up our own rules at this point. It's like if the bar hits for throw coins at your friend's head. You should really consult with Teresa as she is the resident bar and bot. It's the expert on Bravo. Well, you know, we can say a lot about Teresa, but she is learning things like she said rekindling twice. So that use baby steps yeah so tree is like all ready to confront Kim D and Danielle you know she's happy to try to out you know her victimhood she's like well last time i went there you know what remember what happened last time and of course thank god

they showed this clip they showed the clip of Daniel getting your extensions pulled out by Jack Lens' ridiculous daughter. I was like, oh, you live. Yeah, we have to mention last week we were saying, yeah, that was sad that the kids were there and we really do feel for those kids because memories are short. But thankfully, there's the internet and people are like uh... no they tried to get the kids out of the room and she was like no they want to stay they want to see the deal me them stay yeah exactly it's like leaving skin amax unblocked and then getting getting mad that your teenage son is watching it in the middle of the well i still well i think my point still stands which is that like you know even though daniel made her daughter say to watch it which was not wise it still is like this great this like iconic moment that

everyone laughs oh the table flip and yet we all forget that there was like some serious childhood trauma like happening concurrently well I think that if Danielle didn't open the season with her ankles behind her ears I might feel sadder. But well, I will not. I'm kidding. That was yoga. I mean, this season, oh yeah, this season, which she was, uh, she is during yoga. I'm just playing. Uh, okay.

And I will. Slut shame Daniel, whatever. I don't worry about slut shaming Daniel. I'm not shaming her because she's a slut. I'm shaming a slut because she's a shameful bitch. Do you see? Is a difference? I'm not going to her because she's a slut. I'm shaming a slut because she's a shameful bitch. You see is a difference? I'm not gonna not shame someone just I'm not gonna shame someone because they're a slut. You know what I mean? And that makes sense. You're your person shaming her. Yes, I'm person shaming her. Thank you

Thank you and everybody spread that around so also as you're just shaming her you You're just just general shaming like classic shame. Yeah, it's not because she's a slut. It's because she's a horrible human being. Okay. All right. I want to ask my chicken. I was read those nasty rumors. If you don't guys have to nice to say then maybe you shouldn't say stuff and like, uh, Theresa, like, have you read your books? Isn't that what? I don kids Puerto Rico shut up Theresa fast forward So yeah, so now that is now it's like we get this like prolonged sequence of the girls other women like Drive into the posh fashion show and showing up and walking and they're walking and then they walk downstairs Then they stand outside and they think we should then they walk downstairs and then they stand outside

They think we should we go in and Melissa's like what do we do? What is this? What do we do? This is crazy. This is like a this is like a shake down. I don't know what to do Huh should I make us out loud and then she's like all right? I guess I was a wins and stuff and stuff so And trees like now because Melissa saying if you touch her if you get mad and like, you know, throw something out Or you might go back to prison, you know, she's like, it's called camps. Okay, but let's say she puts a hand on me. I'll walk away because like, I know history and every fashion show is something. Like that time Abraham Lincoln fell down the stairs. And then there was that she's just, she's just, Teresa don't bring up history, okay? Please. It's a sporsicals.

And then Mary and Twinet open the bakeries. Remember when the hippie movement started at posh? Like so. Remember when posh started Vietnam? Remember when the SLA moved me started at Posh? Ronald Reagan didn't do nothing's wrong, but he was there as on it Poshes. He was wearing his fan text black dress. I remember when President Roosevelt opened the New Deal in Poshes.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you

step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. She's still using that one, that's so old. Like when I pass Posh's, it says New Deal. PWA stands for Posh Works Association. Okay, what is Posh stand for?

P-A-T-C. It's not Patch Adams Theresa. Okay, I wonder how long it took Theresa to like write down Posh and then come up with something for it. I don't know, but she misspelled it and doing so. She had it on W, with something for it. I don't know, but she misspelled it in doing so. She had it on W, but we appreciate it. So anyway, so Kim Dees sitting there, still on her chair and she's, you know, talking, she's saying some bullshit like, turn around, let me see the back now.

And then she like turns and then she, she sees tree walking and she just has this look and she's like, what a terrible day to not wear the hair things Cuz you know they would have been like up in a wrecked like I spot a con so she does She does what she does best just being totally faceless. Hi ladies. Welcome to posh fund razor. How are you? How are you welcome to posh fund razor no longer a fashion show. It's a fundraiser. Welcome to posh fundraiser. It's Fajarity ladies. It's Fajarity funding raising. Okay. Stop taking pictures like you have a red carpet in there. She's got like some cardboard cut out

of herself. Like she's a blockbuster movie. That she's like taking pictures of people in front of. I don't even know what that thing was. As in when you say blockbuster movie, you mean a movie that she's like taking pictures of people in front of. I don't even know what that thing was. As in, when you say blockbuster movie, you mean a movie that was like produced like a blockbuster video. That's what I'm saying. I'm imagining that blockbuster video they decided that they wanted to get into the content business and they've like made a movie that stars Kim D and they're like, you know what, let's just shut down all the stores now. And that's how I was.

Oh, poshbuster. So let's see, it's so stupid. Yeah. It's a dad joke, you know, I'm going to Texas tomorrow, so I'm getting my dad jokes ready. So now, don't you mean you're in Texas today? So now, the best part is that when the women all walk in Dolores is like, all right, this is, you know what, this would be a great time to brush off my favorite

metaphor. You know what? I've lived in this part of the zoo a long time. I'm like, oh, Dolores in the zoo. She just loves that zoo. Yeah, she's probably still watching that Matt Damon movie over and over and over and over. The story of Dolores, also known as Webada Zoo. I've lived in this zoo for a long time. I'm not taking this shit, but it is better than Masses area. Dolores, why are you living in the zoo? Well, you know, I brought Frankie here and then Frankie got lost and I said, Frankie, okay,

I'm gonna wait right here. Let's meet right here and I'm just waiting for him. It's been about like five years, so I just decided to live here and I said, Frankie, okay, I'm gonna wait right here, let's meet right here and I'm just waiting for him, it's been about like five years. So I just decided to live here and I put some cabinets up in the eighth enclosure. He knows nice. Don't throw stones if you live in a glass aquarium. Frank said, you tell me you put some chairs up

in the lion pen. So that's nice, we put some chairs in there, you can sit there like have coffee with lions. Oh yeah, I'll tell you who's lions. Hey, I'm still talking about my zoo to reason. Okay, have some respect. If you want, we can give you some tickets for the girls. We got it was dwelling and that wasn't even water. That was just like regular spit. But it almost got caught. I really, really wish I had some water right now. So I just have salty fries

Salty salty. Yeah, that's what you get you see Helping you and now you're realizing he's trying to kill you. It's like that milk commercial Remember when the asshole gets sent it looks like it's heaven and there's like all these chocolate cookies And he eats all these chocolate cookies and he goes the fridge and it's like full of milk And he goes to pour the milk and I cartons empty and all the carons are empty and it turns out he's not in heaven He's in hell remember that car's good. Well, I hope they give out cookies in hell Well, it sounds way nicer than the hell I've always been threatened with as far as I can tell They're still selling cookies in Los Angeles. so I guess, yes, they probably do.

I will bring a bottle of water to hell. Okay, coming prepared. So she's like, I need to talk to you. And Kim's like, charity. Are we gonna speak alone? We gonna speak well together? We can all give to charity? You can have to charity separately.

What are you gonna do for the children? How do we wanna do this fight? How do we wanna do this fight? Okay, do we wanna do it like, we all scream all at once or you want to go at me first It'll be like one of those like ninja movies Well, you go at me first and I kill you and we go the next ninja and I go and kill you the next ninja. I go and kill you I meet the choreography here. I'm an artist Actually, you know what what's funny is that it actually reminded me of a video game because I've been playing this

Game on my phone tracking quest 8 and it's a role playing game and You know, I've got like a little party. I've got like a it's a I've got like you know You got like your adventure and your night and then your magician and you know this and that and then you go through like these Caverns and whatnot and eventually get to a boss. And then you have like, you're, and then everyone in your party, all your four little guys in your party, the warrior in the magician and the, and the lady in the, whatever, they're all casting spells and attacking the boss.

And you're like, oh no, I hope I win the boss. That's exactly what this was. It was you had your party of four, and Kim D was the boss, and they came in to go beat the boss. One question. Yeah. Was it for charity?

We're trying to save the kings and for charity. Now normally, normally I never would have hung out with that sorceress, but it was for charity. Normally I wouldn't have put on that band-a dress and gone after the boss but it's about Joe. So Tree comes at her with her big guns which Tree so really only knows a few things that she's allowed to be mad at. It's like she's only certain things set her off and they're always stupid. No one's gonna be talking about my husband's amies. Okay.

Too bad. Too bad. Too bad. You be like just sitting in her chair. me talking about my husband's and me's okay too bad too bad too bad you're like just sitting in her chair you be Trees L.B. Kim I'll be Kim D because it's pretty simple dialogue it's okay no one gonna talk about my husband to be too bad too bad I said no one's gonna talk about my house well guess what did you know it's gonna talk about my husband to me like she just keeps trying and gives like no what I say How you know I cheated did you see me cheat? Did you see me cheat?

Hey, what hey my husband it means all I know is what I saw and I saw a lot of things through my eye, both that were in someone else's face. You're confusing me. Well, why don't you talk to Lena, because Lena saw it all. I don't know, I don't like girls. Girls, girls don't like you. Too bad. Too bad.

And she's sitting in that chair, which is so hilarious. And everyone's surrounding her, and she's just sitting there going too bad. And then it gets to like real houses of Atlanta level because then trees like, you're a dirty bitch. And that's when Kim D's like, no, you're a dirty bitch. I was like, ooh. But at least she taught that.

She's like, you're a dirty bitch. It's a matter of fact. You're all dirty bitches. I extend the spell of dirty bitches to all of you. The entire party has cursed with dirty bitch dim. And I love her reasoning. She's like, you're all dirty bitches. You go to clubs. Yeah. And what's it goes? Well, you go to clubs. She goes, I ain't married. Huh? I ain't married. I'm listening to this. She goes, she just admitted that the whole basis is that someone saw Teresa at a club.

And it's still not enough to pitch off Sikhin to Laura's. Like, what are they supposed to be mad at? This fight doesn't even make sense. Teresa just keeps repeating the same thing and blinking really, really hard. Yeah, they're probably just trying to contain their laughter at this point. And honestly, Teresa, by the way,

doesn't deny anything. She deflects and says, who cares is what I do with my times is? Yeah, well, they've shown pictures of her on L.O.L. internet, if anybody would like to look of who this guy supposedly is. And he is kind of like a younger Joe. Oh, good for her.

She doesn't know the word. In other words, it deserves a piece of ass, I guess, but you know, so it'll be fun to watch people come after her with the pictures. Yeah. So then the fight continues. I'm gonna straighten you out. What?

Nobody's trying to move out to Lisa. Now you're just using prison guard language. She's like, like that. I said light down. Araka, Araka, you're going into thalataries. Let me tell you something. No one's treating me out. I stay wrinkled and on the floor. No one has to straighten me up because all of my clothes are spandex as you might see at this fashion show,

FUTURE EARRADTY! Let me tell you something Teresa, you're white trash, and you're the one who was in fucking jail, not me bitch, not me bitch, too bad. Yeah, because Teresa calls her white trash. That's really not where you wanna go. Yeah.

Listen. You were the jail. Too bad. When you're at a fashion show in North Bergen, you just don't get to call anyone white trash. Yeah. Give these like, I ordered these catering chairs, and I am sitting on them.

I'm getting my money's worth. They were spray-painted gold. Just for me. Hold on. Before you make another point, let me go in this chair so I get my money's worth here. Oh, there we go. And then Danielle's like, oh, they hurtly hurtly, neighbor. She has nothing to say, but she says something anyway. And then so she goes, Hey, Theresa, if you throw something at

me, you'll leave in here in handcuffs. And you, Danielle, last time I saw you, you was running through new, you were running through North Jersey with three following after you And Daniel's like yes, I'm still trying to get over that trauma basically But by the way, it was your fault and I would appreciate an apology to my daughters who would traumatize Well also when Kim D made the comment about like oh well if you try to throw something at me You're gonna be in handcuffs and going back into jail Margaret was like oh my god. This is my moment. This is my moment to prove my allegiance This is when I can get on the show

This is when I become an actual holder of a ham sandwich in the opening credits not just a friend up and march is like and And then she just starts to scream don't say that her, don't ever speak to her that way. I'm like, what, why are you so unpassioned? And the only reason why I'm not screaming, by the way, is because I feel like I have to respect my new neighbors, but the marriage was screaming at the top of her lungs. Well, I'm screaming because I've lived here six years and my neighbors already hate me. Like, what are they going to hate me more? I don't think they can.

But I respect your, I respect your choice. So, Dan Yogas, look, I know what Kim is capable of, but I also know what Theresa's capable of. And it's nice to be on this side of the Chet Caching Stores bulletproof glass. Okay. I'm not getting hurt by that.

So Theresa's like, hey everybody, stop yelling. This isrees like, hey everybody stop yelling. This is about me. This is my fine. Like she's mad because she can't keep saying my husband and means. So she's like, OK, hey, you know what, posh dance, fat? What I actually would like to know the answer to this.

Please go on. Peace, a share, home wrap, blink, blink, blink, blink. Peace, a share, a share, home, Mac, blink, blink, blink, blink, Peace, a share, home, Mac, a blink, blink, every day. What? You missed the cocoa part. Actually, technically, what really happened? Really hard.

Cocoa. Oh, because oh, she added that too. Where was that? I need to write it down because this is what I want to look at these notes and remember the good times. that I need to write it down because okay, this is what you're I want to look at these notes and Remember the good times and I need to have this exact Technically, this is how it played out tree goes hey, you know what you know a patch dance force Peace of shit and then Kim D and drop to go like you And then treat but Teresa on the turd goes

Cocoa homecker, every day. I'm like technically Kokoa is not a compound word, so you just spelled, pa, pasque, pasque, pasque, but we'll let it slide. Kim will probably open a store called the squasha, just to make Theresa a match. Piece of shit, Kokoa, home wrecker, every day,

hate your face, stupid face. Why don't you stand up? Oh, that's right, you don't have legs, don't you? Our next door is gonna be too bad. I'm just like you. I was like, you know what I wanted to happen at this moment? I wanted like the lights to flicker and like everything to shake and then all of a sudden like dust starts coming down

from the ceiling and then bursting through the windows, Kim Granitelle, that's what this moment needed. You know, like at the end of the day. Lord, she is drying. Did you read that story about her? Oh, I hate even bringing up her name because she's the worst. But she needs to come back. She needs to come back. Oh name because she's the worst. But she needs to come back. She needs to come back.

Oh, God, she's the worst. I need to look up the story to say it, right? But someone is suing one of these. Someone is suing Danielle for stealing appearance fees and never showing up. And she's paying for that person's legal fees. Like, oh my God, you're so thirsty. So she's come back.

I'm sorry, she needs to come back. It's time. Oh, hate. So Kim's like, it's my show. And Teresa is like, I love the gravity of my back and at hand. She's like, do it. You'll go to jail. So she finally gets up and walks off. And Teresa is like, it's called camps. And she just starts knocking the chair around. And she reaches for the drink. She wants to throw a drink at Kim D, but then she remembers like,

oh, this is a crazy bitch. She's gonna press charges if I do that. So I'm not going to, because her hand goes for it and then she pulls back. So she says she does the next best thing. She goes, home, rick, a fucking whore. I die,

did I mention what posh dance floor? Elephants in siasit, Did I mention what posh dance for? elephants in siasit like Taking the train to hos in 42nd street like what So let's see so is singing in Teresa next no so well there's a little bit of something So next what happens is that Kim D then goes upstairs and she finds fake Caroline Manzo And it's like all right, let's I'm gonna kick out Theresa and her friends. They're all gonna get out of here too bad too bad times to For bad

Too bad squared so now this is when Melissa's Namolissa of course gets sanctumized. She's like oh my god after all that Dolores and Ziggy You're still gonna walk in the show you can still walk in the this show and then this like gets Dolores's like that, like, she hates being told what to do. So she gets right up in Melissa's face with that finger and she's like, that's right and I, that's right I am and don't tell me what to do. And she's like, I've been in the zoo before. I'm staying in the zoo, okay. If you don't like being in the zoo, go to the aquarium, Melissa. Now either throw me a fish to catch in my mouth and get the hell out of here, Melissa.

Okay. My neighborhood in the zoo. I'm a little scared. You're supposed to be my friend. You're gonna walk in the show, you're supposed to be my friends, like shut up. And then we kind of, like kind of, no, she's not supposed to be your friend.

She can do whatever she wants. And then Teresa later in this episode does her normal. And then on my backs Friendships nuts to yeah, I mean I I don't I mean I wouldn't have walked in the show and I actually I do think that maybe to Laura's and see she should be like you know Maybe we shouldn't walk in the show, but it's also who the fuck cares. It's not a real fashion show It's not a real fun razor. It's not a real fashion show. It's not a real fun razor. It's not a real anything But it's for the show

Just someone tell me the name of this charity. Please let me look it up The best part is Teresa storming out of this room accusing Sige and Dolores of being puppets And then she literally has a line of women following her be like yeah your puppets your puppets your puppets your puppets I'm like I hate to be the one like the pot calling the kettle puppet but Okay, so what's next because the next thing I have is Sige and Teresa is that the next part? So now it's like the fashion show we see the fashion show and Kim De gets up there it's like, this is a fundraiser for families who lost their loved ones in a tragedy. And then the other ladies go back to Marge's house to do like a post game report, where they basically are doing,

they're rehashing everything, Teresa's like, ain't nobody's gonna talk about my husband. And they basically, they pretty much all come to an agreement that like, you know, they shouldn't have walked in the show, it's not right, and then tree even turns to Marge, and it's like, yeah, like they didn't seem to be mad and everything, like you said something, and I just met you, and I'm like, yeah, that's because Marge was trying to be on the show.

Yeah. Or she's gonna say something. And then the Melissa's like, isn't this crazy? Like, just yesterday, I invited them on my trip to Milan. It's like, that is the largest trip, man. Exactly. And now Melissa's the real victim here. She's like, and then Dolores got in my face.

Did you see that Dolores got in my face? My face, friends don't do that. Okay. So yeah. So yeah, basically Teresa's like, she wants wants to see and Dolores so apologize to her now Which is like the ongoing rhythm of these shows, right? She's like I see her patterns here. It's like Dolores doesn't got my backs and then they show a clip of Her being mad about Dolores because Dolores was being nice to Ziggy. Yeah, come on

She's like I see a patterns here. No, that's just my couch. It's crazy. It's like a big pattern couch. It's such a freak out in my couch at Postory. Classic much. So that couch has something about my husband's. So now is the next day.

And Marge goes and meets up with her posse. Hey, posse. Hey, make about the collection posse. And Marge goes and meets up with her posse. Hey posse, him make Beth a collection posse. And Marge senior is cold and ready to go on a date. Oh my god, this was so awkward. So I'm trying to find this fucking note. This is where my notes get fucked up. Oh my god, guys, gonna have to use my memory.

I watch his 10 minutes ago. It's gonna be really hard. So she goes and she's disgusting. Oh, no, no. So basically, this is their like, so Marge, so Marge, Marge, our Marge Margaret's like, Marge, you know, you look crazy.

You can't go in a day like that. You were like a jacket, your bangs are all like out of order. It's like, you look like like a rake on top. You gotta get fixed. Hey, you know what, you know what I'm gonna do? This is crazy, this is a very good idea, but I'm like, I'm just to forget about these things. You ever heard of this company named Pridz?

I'm like, oh, Jesus, how much money does that company give to this show? How, to all the bravo shows. I mean, they even did something on the summer house. I mean, what, what, what, Pridz, like, what is Pridz?et knockout? I'm sure I feel like I would turn on an old episode of there goes the mommyhood And there's could be something from priv on there. It's like what do they have no limits? So it's like an uber for hair And the assistant's like we've got a lot to catch up on

Really was like that. What's really late to hear something. So where it just goes all over the place. She's saying, yeah, all right, people, mom's going to have a day like, what are we working on here? Like, oh my God, sticking to Laura's walk in the show, it was disgraceful. It was disgraceful. Okay, tonight, tonight, my main goal is to get senior late. Okay. Anyone with me? Also public service announcement, don't wear shoes on a couch Okay, tonight my main goal is to get senior late. Okay? Anyone with me?

Also, public service announcement. Don't wear shoes on a couch, because you might tear it up, and it's just like you'll be such a freak out on the couch. Like, just don't do that. Classic much, very difficult, very hard lesson to learn, but a lesson learned on the less, okay? We gotta get you a nice old man, ma. So you can, you know, step on a banana peel

or something, gets you in that will, huh? So then then we go to Dolores who's over at a pizza parlor with Frank and You know what Frank? Yes, what I want to do I want to get Franky out of the house because I think he's got to learn that his life has that of having a girlfriend And this way also when he's not in the house And I can like put in some new cabinets and like change his bedroom into like maybe a little something for boo You know now the boo's gone. It's like sad. It's hard and the mask is like why don't you come to gym? And I'm like I'm trying to get my son out of the house. It's a lot a lot to take in Thanks, you're not old enough to fall in love with the countertop until after high school. That's it

That's what I'm told that's what I'm telling him hey Frank make yourself useful and build a chair for this pizza parlor Okay, Siggie's coming Dolores looks furious every time she talks about the girlfriend. She gets that really mean Dolores face. And I'm afraid for the girlfriend. I'm very, very afraid, especially because we later find out the girlfriend is Danielle's job. It's like, whoa, of course, now it all makes sense. Well, what does she say? She says she goes, high school relationships don't make sense, Frank. It's an anchor.

It's not a good thing. No, it's going to draw. I think she's going to. Well, around his neck, around his neck, but I mean, usually people are like, you're my anchor, you're my rock. Yeah. You make the buzz. She's like, look into a mountain.

Thanks. She's like, listen, I don't want someone who's a rocker, okay? I married Frank. You see how that turns out, all right? I want someone who's less of a, okay? I married Frank. You see how that turns out, all right? I want someone who's less of a rocker and more of a twig. I want just like a circular bowl of silly putty. That's basically what I want now, okay, Frank? So the waiter comes over and he's so weird and awkward,

like he doesn't want to be on TV. And he's like, hey, guys, I got some food coming out, some apps and stuff like that, okay? Okay, are you gonna ask them what they would like? What do you want to date with them and you're gonna order for them? Like, what the hell is happening at those restaurant? It's a taking menu at Pizza Hut. All right, the star we're going to do in a Moose Boosh, it's just a slice of pepperoni.

We call this a de-constructed pepperoni pizza. This is a fly that's covered in the blue cheese on the salad bar. Oh, sorry that. We, here is one of our 30 day aged celery stocks which is now pliable and we have bent it into a circle which will form the ring mold, into which we shall pour the cheese that normally goes into the cheesy crusts.

But here, that okay, that sound good. Stuff like that. It's like okay. So, Sikki comes in and she's like, hi, Margaret. Hi, Beth. Hi, Joe. Just sit your ass, Beth. Hi, little Sisa.

Big Sisa, little Sisa. Hi little C'sa. Big C'sa, little C'sa. Hi, Noid. Domino. John. Just sit. Papa John. So before she even says anything, Delores is like, hey, Sigg.

And she's like, I didn't even say a word. And you knew I was here. Am I that loud? Yes. The answer is yes. Say a word and you knew I was here. Am I that loud? Yes. The answer is yes. We heard the sound of a trash candle popping as you drove over it.

Yes. Everyone is shushing your inside voice. Okay, tone it down over there. So Frank, Everett Sharmer is like, you look stressed. Well, I do have pellets in my ass. So they tell him the whole story of what happened and she's like, things got so wiggly. Kim said, you're a criminal.

Also, too bad. Also, too loo. Also, it's for charity. Yeah, and pretty much Frank is pretty much like, yeah, you probably should've had her back. Now, you know, I'm just thinking of her perspective. Yeah, you probably should not have done that. And then Dolores is like, huh, you know, now that Frank says it, I guess he's right. I guess maybe I shouldn't have done that.

I'm like, what? What he said, any different is just that is it because he's like a guy or like he's an outside or like, because he's not Theresa. I mean, I think anything has more weight when it's not Teresa. That's true. And Ziggy's like, I have to admit Frank Katania makes sense. Everybody's husband has to have two names. Like she has to say their full name every time.

So she's like, you know what? I'm gonna go see Teresa and tell her I had a back. So then we got a commercial and there's a spray hair ad, a spray on hair ad, which thank you, Joel Gorgah, for making that so mainstream. Yeah. So Melissa, so the, this is the psychic scene. Yes. And Melissa just keeps saying the joke goes, Hey, man, you want to drink? I'm going to have a drink. You want one? She goes, OK, I like vodka. I wrote down vodka.

And then she says it like 10 times. Vodka. So Trey comes over. And then the medium conceda arrives. And she's wearing, as mentioned before, this blue and white safari shirt, which I kind of loved. It was like all these different animals and trees. And everything was blue and white.

And it was kind of bonkers, but sort of amazing. Yeah, and Melissa's like, you want Bacca? I thought you were in Bacca. I said it like five times. I never mix alcohol and dead people. They're like, oh, listen to her. She's funny. She's like, well, I learned it from Joan Rivers.

I was so drunk. She's here with us right now, by the way, Joan. Tell me a joke, I learned it from Joan Rivers. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Let's do this people. So she's like, look, my name is Concetta. And Joe's like, that's bread, right? No, so Concetta's like, look, I'm a simple girl who's her dead

people all her life. Okay. Now look, I know you lost your mom. I'm not going to pretend that I'm coming up with that. I know I get it. Okay. But she's in the air your breath. She's in your lungs right now. When you breathe her in, she's there. And she asks to stop breathing her in. She asked you to please have less garlic bread. You're making a smell. She says, Oh, my finger is getting inhaled into your lung. Please stop doing that, Joe. She says, what are your

children is sensitive to the other side? And she's like, yeah, I'm on you. Keep seeing that. She says, please ask Melania to just let a fucking cook already. You think it's not hard enough cooking ghost, ghost nookies without some kids sitting there judging you? Just like how do you know when they're done? They're already floating.

Tell Melania to stop sitting in the salad bowl. It's not funny anymore. I'm just trying to make ghost dinner. So is the usual stuff. So your mother's at home and she's at peace and she wants you to know that she hears all the support and all the love and she feels it feels adored and she's here right now and she loves you, etc. And so it's like it's sort of like a generic thing

and they're all crying. It is still nice. But then she goes, Jo, she's playing music for me and the song she's playing is interesting. It's called Mama as being sung by Connie Francis in Italian and Joe like loses it because that was actually the song at his wedding. So that's already pretty, that's pretty if she researched that far, that's impressive. So that was a good one. Good call. Yeah, and then she told her, also she wants you to know that she goes running every day or something. And Melissa's like, yeah, she's exercising. Because when she was in the hospital, Joe told her, go run.

Go run now. She would only know that if it was real. And then she said, your special mom dance with her, let me hear it. I'd like big butts. And I cannot lie. Oh my god, she's real. I'm hearing a song. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. I'm hearing a song hold on hold on

Okay, she's saying I'm blue data D W D Dabu D Dabu Dabu Oh, I think she's talking about oh, she I'm sorry. She's talking about my job. She likes my blazer Sorry, your mom and I having a long conversation now Wait, hold on she's telling me something she's saying get them to that as some baka Okay, she has a question. She me something. She's saying get consciousness and Baka. Okay. Okay, she has a question. She wants to, she says, how come when she turns on her ghost phone, sometimes she can't

get Uber to work? Does anyone know how to work ghost Uber? That's what your mother is asking why ghost iOS 11 is messing up her notifications. Because someone, because someone call apples. Oh wait, here we go, hold on. Okay, your mother wants to know every time, why is it that every time she types I, it comes in as a quote and then a box.

Does anyone have any answer for that? Anyone? That was a weird one, a barcode. Like, so what? I'm so glad that chapter in 2017 is over. Of all the things that we had to go through, that was just like the indignity that, I'm so glad that chapter in 2017 is over. All the things that we had to go through, that was just like the indignity that,

it's just like, why? Why have ever, we've already been through so much this year and now you're gonna do this to us. Yeah, in the future that probably is what we'll remember. We'll be like, remember how much 2017 sucked that iOS thing, huh? That was rough. It'll be on VH1, Like, hey, remember the 2010s?

So, um, Marge, then we cut to Classic Noj, and she's over with the proof people. They're like, yeah, we can fix your mom's hair. Okay, here we go. Here's a wig. So then we go to Sigi, who goes to visit with Trey. And, um, she like, she shows up. Hi, honey. Hi. Am I supposed to say, honey, would you?

Cause I don't even know now. up. Hi, honey. Hi. Am I supposed to say honey with you? Cause I don't even know now. Absolutely call me honey. I've never had such a nice thing that about in my life, not even by my god count, but no long. Listen, I'm so sorry about yesterday, but my love for Jeremy Wine. I didn't want to disappoint the victim's families. I could tell they were lining up to join my weekend's retreat. Hashtag I love charity. She says like, okay, as for charities, okay.

Wait a minute. You knew yesterday it was for charity. Kim D told you 30 times you were at a charity. Okay, it's okay now. I'll ask the girls if you could gums. Yeah, I mean, basically, I'm sure SIGU is like, listen, it's for charity and like these people came out to see real housewives of New Jersey people and like, I don't want to be a dick, let them see us walk and the thing. It's like, let's make them happy, et cetera.

You know, that's kind of what the implication was, right? No, the implication was if Ziggy didn't walk, the entire charity would fall down and those families would get nothing. Yeah, that's really true. She thinks of herself very highly, which, look, hey, who else is gonna, you know, you gotta love yourself. She, yeah.

Love the one you're with. She loves herself, guys. To be fair, Zigigi has a very strange grasp on reality, because then she starts saying how, you know, that, that, uh, Sigi and Dolores, it's hard for them to talk with Theresa when Theresa's around, um, Margaret and, um, Danielle, and she says it basically, Margin Danielle are up, Theresa's ass. And then that's the perfect time for Sgy to pivot into her new issue with Margaret. She's like, what I don't understand as we go out to a beautiful dinner at a place that's near, where Michael Campanella once went to in his life, and we're having a big fight. And who in a time

when your friends are fighting references Hitler. Hey reference Hitler, who does that? What was she said like I wish Hitler got you yeah or Hitler's behind you. Ha ha just kidding like what the hell She's like I was so blindsided that she would reference it. La she's missing a sensitivity chip You can say Hitler. It's okay. You can say Hitler. She wasn't saying Hylh Hitler She was saying if Hitler like Hitler would not have killed me because I'm not, because I'm not Jewish, it doesn't mean that he's a good person. Because he didn't kill me.

It was a bad, like it wasn't the smartest thing to say, but I don't think she was like coming after your Jewishness or Jewishness by thinking. Sorry, bad. See now that was rude, but I just messed up that's okay, because I chewed my french fry over and I forgot to put on my mutes. Did you mean you, Jude? You're, oh, your french fry.

It's okay. I'm Jewish everyone. I'm, I'm, I'm just kidding. I'm looking at him. Hitler, she said Hitler after I went to a charity. So she's like, do I hate her? No. I'm just over Hitler. I was like, well, where did take a stand? So Teresa's like, I got it. Where's this leave us? You just made up Teresa. She needed to write it down for you.

Do you want to tell her what post dance for again again? She's like I want to go to Milan but I will not go without the Laura not without my Dolores. I will wear a scarf on my head every day if I have to just to be a run my Dolores. So there we go on March. That's's what I took out about movie. That's all that like wow Sally feel really loves her daughter. So we're so far ahead. The best part is that movie that movie was like a feature film wasn't it? It wasn't even like a TV movie. It was like a full on movie in theaters. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like a lot got to love the early 90s. So on March. Senior goes on her day. It's a double day with Steve and also with,

with classic Marge Enjo. And they go to a place called Bidio Malleys, which I feel like is not, is not where most classic romances are born. I mean, it's Jersey. Yeah. You know, it's not behind the dumpster on prom night. So, yeah, that's true. You know, congrats. So Steve comes, the accountant Steve. Yeah. And, uh, she's like, yeah, hey Steve, we You know, congrats. So Steve comes, the accountant Steve, and she's like, hey Steve, we thought it was a good idea of classic March. Classic March and Joe, we thought it was a good idea if we came with you.

And he's like, is this a shaperone date? It's like, oh no, it's a bling. It's a bling, Joe. And Joe's like, yeah, cause March scene is a slut. And March is like, yeah, it means a hamsie slut, ain't ya, my? Like they were being so gross, which, you know, the mom really does like, being dirty instead. But it's different when the mom does it.

And it was, well, because March scene was like, well, I've been doing a lot of good things for myself. I gave up, I gave up chocolate. I don't do chocolate anymore. I'm eating better. I had no more sugars. And they're like, oh, did you give up all the fun stuff? Well, I didn't give up all the I think of all the fun stuff And March March junior goes hmm

She still swallows is that what you want to know Steve? She's so squash because great blow job And she's smudging tired thinking tired load goes right down. It's like a loading zone It's like honestly like she just have some yellow stripes on her at this point. Just take the load right? I know isn't that right mom? I'm going to laugh. It's true. I make Steve it's true. And then Steve says something like, so now Steve is getting dirty, which also please don't

do that. Like coming from you, it sounds assaulty. Just be quiet. So she's like, have you seen what to do? I can't do a hard senior's voice, So she's like, have you seen what to do? I can't do my senior's voice, but it's like, yeah, everything my cat girls, everything, everything before, he's like, how far down does it go? She's like, all the way down to my anus, Steve. Remember what I said about chocolate? There is a little bit of chocolate that I get into. Ew.

Ew. He's like, could I see it before the third day? And then Marge is like, well, that's TMI for me. Okay, that's TMI for me, Steve. Like you just talked about your mom's swallowing loads. Well, Margeeaner's like, I'm thinking about getting a new tattoo, but some place that you can only see when I'm nude. Talk about my vagina, Steve.

The giant name. It can be her boob crease, like we don't know. It's my under boob, Steve. So, Marge is like, so, Steve, what's your five-year plan, Steve? And he goes to be alive. Marge is like, well, you don't want to die alone. Who does?

Great date. Can we just say now this is a great date. They covered it all. I was like, you know, this is, you know, that poor waitress, she did her hair for this and this is what you give her. Did you see like whatever her name is Shannon or Shavan or whatever. She had her hair like a little blonde bob.

She was like, I am going to do my hair and not have it in a small ponytail. No, it will be out. It'll be blown out and it'd be combed lovely. Oh, this has been a great night. Thanks, guys. Best customers ever. And Steve's like, well, next time, can we go on our date alone? And Marge is like, well, you make your own cometocks? Or do we got to be here every time? Like, make me one promise, Steve. So now the episode pretty much ends with this kind of like whatever scene we're basically Melissa and Joe are in their closet.

And he hates these big golden sort of like J-Lo shoes. And she's like, you hate them. And then the kids like, I hate them too. They're like clown shoes. I was like, you hate them and then the kids are like, I hate them too, they're like clown shoes. I was like, okay. And then Teresa calls up and tells Melissa about our conversation with Ziggy. And really the only thing that was notable about this

is that we got to, as Melissa walked around her closet, we got to see all the oversized photos of herself that were everywhere. I hope she never lets Teresa in there. Teresa will be like, hey, where's my brother? Where's my brother? My brother's. So basically Teresa's like tells her, yeah, I'm good with Siggie, but Dolores, Dolores,

I will see what Dolores and Melissa says, well Dolores is on my shirt list. And we're all scared, Melissa. So that brings us to the end of Jersey. Wow. Well, Ronnie, have a wonderful time in Texas. But just because you're in Texas doesn't mean you're off the hook, because we are going to be back tomorrow to talk some top chef.

Yay. Thanks, you too. You're welcome. Top jump on. And everyone, we're so excited. All those tickets are going to go on sale. Thanks, yeah, come jump on and Everyone We're so excited all those tickets are gonna go on sale. I hope you can sell out At least one if not all those venues and if we do do that I'm really excited to see which one sells our first

Siding you guys we love you. Thanks for everything you do for us. We will talk to you tomorrow Thanks for everything you do for us. We will talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.