Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: Standing (St)wrong

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

Teresa tries to figure out what words are in the second part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion and Joe Gorga reminds graces the stage to remind his sister to use her vibrator. To hear this week's bonus episode about the Oscars and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And here I am with the gorgeous Talented, Ben Mantelkar of the B-side blog, and the cartoon, The Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which you can find on YouTube. Hi, Bian. Hi, I'm working on the next episode. I'm writing it. I'm very excited. I've basically drawn out my version of Sonya's townhouse. And I'm like, really, I don't say I just want to put up an image of that and just let it just be like nothing happened. You just look at it. It's a pretty good image. It's a pretty good image. I have to say. Thank you. I spent a lot of time on that.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show. We are excited because we're talking about the Jersey reunion today. But before we get into that, we are going to DC in about a week, basically next week, we're going to talk Real Housewives of New York season premiere there So they'll be super fun. We're really really excited for that And then after that we a week after that we'll be in Cincinnati Which will be great so everyone goes see us there two shows one of them sold out

But the other ones like a like a like an early show We're gonna have so much fun at that so come see us there and in between those two shows We are so excited. We're going to South by Southwest, which is like, oh my god, like this is like, that's like the biggest, this is the biggest thing, like festival, not festival, but like, it's just South by Southwest, okay? So we're really excited by it. But there's been some confusion about like when did tickets go on sale, whatever, whatever. So we went and we, we reached out to our people to find out what the deal is. So here is how to see us in South by Southwest. This is the process. Okay. So the event is free. If you have a South by Southwest badge, the event is free. Of

course, the badge itself is going to cost money. So obviously there's that. You have to also RSVP. I believe actually the RSVP thing has been, it's closed for now because there's that. You have to also RSVP. I believe actually the RSVP thing has been It's closed for now because there's like a thousand people who RSVP'd it might open up again Who knows but right now it's closed and the way it's gonna work is that? Seeding is on a first-come first-serve basis so the priority is if you have a badge and if you've RSVP'd You are going to be let in first if then if you have a badge and if you've RSVP'd you are going to be led in first. If then if you have a badge but you have not RSVP'd you will be led in next. And then finally people who have not RSVP'd and I'm sorry, then people who have RSVP'd and don't have a badge they are going in next.

Yeah, it's crazy but I don't know how many people with a badge are going to be there. So don't worry, if you've RSVP'd come. Yeah, give it a try. Yeah, come. It's going to be, it's going to be really fun. So and it'll probably be most of that. Yeah, I think so.

So that's just to answer the question. There's not like tickets that are individually sold for the show. Yeah, we're sorry it's so confusing, but it's a, you know, it's a big festival. And there's like, there's a lot going on. We're like, how do we do this? And there we, here's a simple way. It's very important for us to make sure we make it as difficult as possible at this,

not this world stage. No kidding, but people in Cincinnati get to that early show. Come on. That'll be a smaller show, but that's going to be super fun. So everybody, here we are on Jersey Day. Very exciting, James. I did think this was the last episode of Jersey. I didn't know that there were three.

I thought there were only two. So thanks a lot, Jarks. Yeah, this was sort of like the first episode was so amazing and this one was still good, but this one was very much like the filler-ish, like it was the transition into what clearly next week will be amazing because that's when Danielle stop comes out and there's just to be pure madness. But this was real, this was very fun too. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. And it opens up with Teresa still young. Yeah, I called out a bit and she grabs Andy's cards and tries to throw them across the room, but he grabs them back from her. Yeah, they need to put down, they need to make a segment of just Teresa getting violent in the

region. Because they're so funny, someone posted a gift yesterday of Andy holding back Teresa. Well, she's, well, she's trying to go after somebody at a reunion. And it's just, I mean, Andy being pushed down, there's so many great moments of, I don't know why she's not in like a animal lector mask, like a straight jacket. You know, it's like, it's like when you find out that people went to a zoo. Remember that story about those kids who got drunk and taunted a tiger and then the tiger jumped out of the zoo and killed them? It's like, that's basically what's happening with Teresa. Okay, don't taunt the tiger.

Yeah, don't taunt her with words. Yeah. Yeah, they need to have her just be like, tell me about the sheep's is. Clarita this. I love how the beans is. Silence of the sheep's is is. Yeah. The sheep's is. Hello Clarita.

So, uh, yeah, so she tries to throw those notes. And Jackie's like, oh, you're going to try throw something in me Theresa. Aren't you on parole? Which I like the idea that Theresa would like go back to jail for throwing index cards at someone. You can. That's assault. Yeah, this is 2019. That is assault, man. Assault with a casual weapon. Yeah, assault with, I was gonna say a tree because I was trying to think what is paper made out of then trees. I was like trees throwing a tree, but then that made it way more of my

Assault by flashcards. I like to also when Andy grabbed his his the notes back like there was a glimmer of triumph in his eyes Like I finally stood up for myself. He's like, wow, I'm getting stronger. Yeah, he's like, I'm finally ready to be a father, everybody. I can protect my baby because I can hold onto index cards. So, uh, Trees is like, you might trust me. Jackie goes, oh, I'm my trash. Which is hilarious. It's like the lady who's been to prison and is waiting for her husband to get out of prison. It's calling someone a white trash bitch. Yeah, she goes because you're disgusting.

I'm like, I like that she felt the need to define white trash for us just in case it didn't really land. Yeah, well, this is where Teresa tries to define words. This whole episode and it's really funny like she gives her version of what a word means and it's just it's just classic. So Jackie's like why are you saying I'm the sister to you every time I open my mouth you come for me and she's like you're like you guys you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like god so Ray must be at home like, I know. I know. I'm trying to make that shit with Marlo. I was going to say, this is basically the Jersey remake of that Africa trip.

You know, so finally Teresa lands on this is basically her, this is, this is her messaging. She's like, you know, I'm in the year kind of best sellers. You're a blogger. That's like, you know, which makes you so sad for the New York Times too, by the way. Well, they did it to themselves. It's really, you know, the book industry has basically done it to themselves and I don't feel bad.

When every time you walk into a bookstore, it's like, stand is strong. Is like the main book on, on the shelf that now screen did it to yourself. Yeah, I feel like it's like every time I go into Barnes Noble, there's like some like book reading slash signing by someone who like appeared in season seven in America's worst cooks, you know, on the food network, you know, and talking about their journey. I'm like, it's just really the best we can do in the literary world. Eric Adjave! I got two faces of the show in the house. It's just a book of all her sympathy cards. It's a leaflet essentially. Someone made an Instagram post of all the different cards she could have written people

and they are a hilarious Eric Adjave. Eric Adjave and sympathy cards. Eric Adjave, sorry you helped burn down. That sucks. Eric James sympathy guys. Hey, Camille, sorry, you have to write it down. That sucks. Eric Kitchin. I wish we could credit you did that, but I don't remember who did it to you. I didn't see it. I just think it's I'm just laughing because that's hilarious. It is funny, very creative.

Facebook, I mean, Instagram forever, whatever went into that post and I think into Eric James sympathy letter. Yeah, I'm kidding. So Pamela. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Teresa's like, I want you taking out this. You've been following it for 10 years. So Pamela from Houston says, what planet are you living on Jackie?

Do you really think it's okay to write a nathie article about someone who's you and who invited you into their home? So Jack is like Basically like Jennifer like preposterimitation with I guess maybe Margaret said this like well come to the largest house in parameters It's the Taj Mahal You know, but you know, but you bet but she admits it was like it was not an assi article, but in retrospect You probably should have given her a heads up. Yeah, because Jennifer is like, truthfully in check is I can't I answer? I want you to answer truthfully.

Yeah. But they've already made up. So this is kind of a no no no. Well, but I did think it was funny. It was like, like Jennifer, did you actually read the article? She's like, I read it word for word. And she does not say much children are spoiled, but she's critiquing my parenting.

And like, I'm like, she didn't, you just said it. She didn't say your children are spoiled. So what are you in such a stupid, stupid, little about, Jennifer? Try me not. Yeah, but she would've been okay if she was prepared, like you said. And then March is like, that's fair.

That's fair. You know what, that's fair. To be honest, like, that's fair. You know what, that's fair. To be honest, like, that's fair. See, or see, this is fair for me. Emma list is like, that's fair. I think that's fair. Okay, you two, like this is a judge show. It's the US open or something like that.

And Jack is like, you know, I didn't say anything, I didn't say anything other than complimentary things about her kid, about your kids. And Jennifer goes, but I can still be mad about it. I'm like, you're mad that she said complimentary things about her kid about your kids and Jennifer goes, but I can still be mad about it. I'm like your mad that she said complimentary things Jennifer is such a dope and I'm really loving her She does that that's why she's on Teresa's couch because she just hears triggering things But doesn't actually listen to what they are so she just reacts. Yeah, I don't think there's ever been another house I found the show that Teresa is like, and she reminds me of me.

And takes it as a compliment. Yeah. It's like it's like we said last week, if ever Teresa says that about you, you have to do some serious soul searching about what led you to that place in life. So then we go into a segment about why is Dolores a hypocrite? Because why is it okay for her to speak for Teresa, but it's not okay for Jackie to speak for Melissa. And Dolores is like, I wasn't trying to explain for Teresa, okay. I was just trying to explain things for Teresa. That's all, okay. It's not like I was trying to explain things. I was just trying to explain things. I don't understand

what the big deal is. You know, maybe Jackie doesn't understand a lot of the language that was used. I don't think she understands words and letters and things like that. I'm like, you were the one who got so mad last week when Jackie has the Theresa could read. And you're now saying, like, I was just trying to explain because I don't think she understands language.

She was trying to explain my languages. All I was trying to say was that, you know, like, you can persuade your husband to do things You know like you can persuade him you can persuade him do do that and he's like no persuade. Yeah, persuade Persuade It's no I don't like persuade if it's not good in waters. You got it treated with scotch god Yeah, yeah, like if you, and you can get it. I'm like, okay, Theresa, more Theresa English lessons.

Yeah, exactly. Know what it means Theresa. You're saying it wrong, okay? Yeah. Miss Marion Webster as Jackie called her. So then there's some talk about Jackie's parents and how they like live in separate houses. And she's like, no, no, no, I never said

that my parents went to prison My dad went to a halfway house and he was under house to rest and my mom was under house to rest and she went to halfway As now they live in two different halfway houses, which is sort of like they live in one whole way house I guess if you think about it. I don't know anyway my mom at least she doesn't eat cookies for breakfast And then the parent segment. It's like, aren't the parents wacky? God, remember that Vads Rejuvenation March? Yeah.

In Montenegro, she's trotted out. Like she's worked at. Yeah, Montenegro is an animal. All right, that's it. She's an animal. She's fucked up to town, basically, is what I'm trying to say. A Delta Ritz. A Delta Ritz. A Delta Ritz.

Quite over there, a cocktail. Cocktail queen over there. Okay, guess what? She looks, she does one word. Starts with letter A. Guess what? Let's take a long time for her to get to Z. No, I'm saying Eddie.

Classic Joan. Vocabulary joke for Joan. It's just with the game of cocktails you'd win cocktail queen, all right? Hey, hey, am I, is that time? I'm cruised over there? Is he flipping a shaker? Looks like I'm watching cocktail. It's a cocktail queen over there.

You know what I'm saying? Don't worry, be happy. Okay. Um, I'm scrolling through notes here. So basically, hey Dolores, how's your mom's health? Well, you know what? You can't teach an old dog new cookies, okay?

She's been eating this way her whole life and you know what I do is I call her up I say hey, ma don't eat that cookie put it down have something healthy for breakfast and I put down the phone And I walk over to the living room like hey no no one's over in here still an empty house I walk back to the living room walk back to the kitchen. I'm like my so on the phone. She hung up on me So now I'm fully eviscerated my mom won't even be on the phone me Frank's down in who knows where Florida doing who knows what so called Frank I'm like hey Frank you gotta call mom until I can stop eating the cookies turns out he's not even on Florida He's next door. He lied to me again. I don't know And then his gen's mom and he's like, Jen your mother is so fine. Was she fun growing up?

I'm trying to pretend like no She wasn't the anti she was only nice to me once I got married to someone that was to her liking because you know growing up all she would say is you've gained weight no one's gonna marry your fat ass. Everyone on the other side of the couch looks at each other as if they they could not such a thing. And I was like, my mom is a white lady and she, that's basically still what she tells me. So it sounds like a hug to me, you know? Yeah.

So then what does Jennifer's community think about her being on the show? Well, Andy, we're a very private culture, okay? Like we don't like to say how we got things, how much we spent on anything, but you know what, I can't help it, I wear my hat, I'm my sleeve. You know what you see is what you get.

I'm like, bitch, buying thrones from China is not wearing your heart on your sleeve, okay? Bragging about a sunset that the rest of the entire country can see, assuming that it's cloudy, is not wearing your heart on your sleeve, okay? you wear your douche-ness on your sleeve. Yeah, totally. I love that her heart is defined by her as what she can buy. Yeah, I think her heart is just like a Chanel pendant. That's what she means.

I have my brother made it. So it's Chanel's. So you know, it's sent out So you don't get sued and she smells Yeah, she's hilarious. She's so hilariously ridiculous and I I just can't tell if she's in on the I think she thinks she's in on the joke But she's not in on the joke. She it doesn't demand a bullshit that it comes flowing out But they private coach. I was like is that is that I just not something I've heard about being Turkish I don't think I don't I'm not, is that a, is that a, I just thought something I've heard about being Turkish. I don't think I'm not heard of that being Turkish. It's like a private or a public culture, but for her to see, I was like,

what are you talking about? Private culture. I'm your private culture. A culture for privacy. Do what you want me to keep inside. Yeah. Do what you want me to not tell anybody about. Dutch marks a dollar, American Express will do very nicely.

Thank you. I'll take that Chanel brother. Thank you. So Andy's like, um, so March, I would you describe the house? Andy's like not happy in case unless people are beating each other up, you know? Yeah. So March is like, you know, it's, it's very liberati. You know, as a compliment, I mean, I mean, the Michael Douglas version, you know, like keep paying back, so don't yell at me, you know. And Jennifer's like, well, at least I don't live in gum and racks. Okay. I mean, not that I would

ever brag about that. I'm very private culture. So Marge is like, listen, you know what, get what? Alright, you know what, we both paid the same amount for our houses. I live in England, right, by the city, and I just don't live in the Taj Mahal on a highway. Okay, that's it. Okay, that's Taj Mahalvern. Okay. And then she goes, you're sorry. I'm just because Jen's answer to that is, I'm hospitable.

Okay, I'm hospitable. I'm just like. Okay, I'm hospitable. I'm just like, you are, you know, it's like, it's beautiful. All right, it's beautiful. It's what I've tried to say. You have to make it. Okay, everyone has a different style. Some people like, you know, having tons of shinnies

overlooking cemetery, all right? I'm like having a house, you know, this great, this close to civilization. So you know, teach yourself. Yeah. So, um, uh, then it's like so, uh, you know, basically Jennifer got married to Bill after like 45 seconds and like, what would happen if Bill was smaller? He was bad and bad.

What would you do? Or you're like, Oh, it's okay. There was a lot of dry, humping. Yeah, it was like really exciting And every now and then he was like gonna try to show me and he'd be like, go friend. Take a look at this It's so hot and be like, no, don't show me that but go friend. I want to show you. He was so mask I loved it. And Melissa's only question is yeah But can he pull it out like does that count? Like if it doesn't go inside you, you could just pull it out.

Yeah, he pulled it out. We did it in a park and that's why we can't be close to public schools or anywhere children are. That's how we ended up over the cemetery basically. It's like that dams make it really dark back story to their mansion. Public and business, these cars have been pulled out all over the place so she can make

sure. So, it's basically like that share movie, it's all in his kiss, okay? I mean, so I hear, I've never actually seen it. He just resides it lined by line. So then it's like, why can you be a dominatrix? But you wouldn't even dress up like a cowboy dance. And she's like, because Auntie's being a dominatrix was before I was married. And it's just, I don't like a man in my space.

You know, especially prickly hairs on my body like cowboys have. I'm like, what is wrong with you? Like you know that like standing by a cowboy means that he's not going to be like naked with his like stubbly chest hairs pressed up against your bosom. I'm like turning into like a romance novel all of a sudden. She wishes. She wishes. It's like so you talk about your Turkish culture. Did you have sex with anyone before Bill? And she's like, um.

Wow. Hashtag private culture. Um. I was just counting all the dicks in those hums. Like, um, it's like, oh my god. She's had like 17 dicks. I was like counting all the dicks in those hums. Like, um, oh my god, she's had like 17 dicks. I was like, yeah. How many dicks can fill the space of these hums? She knew that there was a period of her life

where she would sneak into the city and bang some guy behind the limelight, you know? Yeah, good for her. Probably why clothes. Yeah, you go. Yeah. They finally got clothes for public indecency because she was making everyone pull it out

first so she could see it. So yeah, she's like, well, you know, speaking about anyone that I may have slept with and had just like an amazing orgasmic time with that I haven't experienced since would be just totally disrespectful to build. So I choose to plead the fifth. Thank you. So Andy's like, is your husband being nicer to you? Or is he still in the pool house?

And she's like, oh, he's much nicer to me ever since the show came on. Like if we're out in public, he'll put his hands all over me. I'm Melissa Gus. Like he's your prize. OK, Melissa, first of all, I don't know that you're the one to jump in and start talking about how it's been being disgusting.

Or famous. Exactly. I think it's just that he's seen. Nothing. Go ahead. I was just saying, the fact that he's like putting his hand on her more than now that she's been on TV. I was like, nothing really.

There's no better way to try to dispel any sort of rumors of whatever type of rumors they may be than by doing like very public displays of affection. Okay. Yeah. She's a mess. I mean, what she said about her mother was so sad. And now she's like, I'm on TV. So my husband's nice to me.

I get is pretty sad. And she's like, well, he just sees that sees the more capable of doing things without him now. And Melissa goes, it doesn't bother you that you have to be on TV to get respect from your husband. And she's like, you know, I'm really embracing it. Well, it's like, wait to wait to realize that being on TV makes you get less respect from your husband. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle.

And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. I also liked by the way that during this when when Jennifer was saying like out of respect for my husband not gonna answer that, Dolores is like this like very sad peanut gallery

nice or saying yeah, I get it. Yeah, Yeah. No. You can say whatever you want about the Laura's but she's very, very dedicated to just being a yes man when she's with somebody. She is with them for life. Like she's never ever. I can't even believe she divorced

Frank, which I mean, I guess she she didn't really all the way. But I feel like next season her tagline should be like, yeah, I get it. I get it. No, that wasn't right. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. You're that wasn't right. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, what? Just her with her hands on her hips saying, yeah, yeah, I get it. Yeah. I'll say that I speak for you if you tell me to.

She just comes up on screen, hands on her hips. No, I was just trying to explain it. Can we just take control out of it? Can we stop saying the word control? Okay, can we stop? I don't think the reason knows what it means every time she sees it on a keyboard she gets confused So guys now for the segment we've all been waiting for Teresa's huge victim in life, okay? It's very very exact and she she got a really dark spray tan and looks like, you know, a turkey, like Thanksgiving turkey now with her. So from packing lunches to being a mom with a six pack, we saw Teresa living her best life without Joe. He has to add in there. So as the segment goes on, and we see her doing her, like, weightlifting, whatever,

and he's like, look at that ass. It looks like you have implants, and she's, yeah, no. I don't know. I just, like, I don't know every time Andy says that I just, is my skin crawl, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Look at that ass. Wow, that's a great ass. Whoa, have you always had an ass like that Yeah, I had an ass like this ever since high school everyone live day. It was like the ass pounded What you say oh yeah, it was slamming and asking anyone's My brother loved it so and he's like wow. I'm just so impressed with your diet Wow like I didn't can't believe you stuck to that. She's like, wow, I'm just so impressed with your diet. Wow, like I hadn't come to you stuck to that. She's like, yeah, when I put my mind,

put something in my mind, I do it. Like going to jail. I did. Why in fact, that's not my mind, I persuade a compassionate. It's my language, Andy's mind. It's like one Christmas. I was like, this Christmas, no sprinkle cookies. So I see sprinkle cookies. I put him in a trash in my mind.

Well, power. So, uh, yeah, they talk about her ass and then Andy's like, uh, what a fun segment. Okay. So you're cheating on your husband, right? Yeah, everyone saw you can do the guy in Miami. She's, well, ass is new, okay? You took photos with him. I took photos a lot of people. He was touching your leg. A lot of people touched my leg.

You guys banged on the beach. I bang up each a lot of people's. Ask anyone. She think, yeah, what he goes. Well, on New Year's Eve, do you remember anybody touching your leg and she says Does the people and these it was me as I'm at on I don't want it to make out with me and then Melissa just rolls her eyes because you know Melissa is just ready to unload like a truckload full of shit, but she's like

We're shooting the season in two more weeks. I'll save it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly So us weekly says you weren't wearing your wedding ring. She's like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, yeah, yeah, that's what he said. I mean, who cares if I'm wearing my wedding ring and not? I mean, it's not like it's like some sacred battle that I seem to hide behind every time someone talks about Joe,

you know, like who cares? Like Joe never wear rings, you know, he calls me the seaworth, whether he's with us, I mean who is? And he's just like okay This is why Teresa went to jail. It's like she cannot lie for shit. And it's amazing to watch It is I mean I can't believe that Pumni tail is still on the top of her head. She was pulling it so hard

It's like pulling back pulling back pulling back Oh, yeah, I could just yeah, I'm just imagining Teresa Spinoe Kyo and just I don't know her terrible weave just keeps growing up the top of her head. She winds up on that island and just like that she just doesn't turn into a dog. She just everyone just leaves the island. Everyone's like, you know what, I think we're done with this island of the boys turning into Donky. Let's just let her. She can just have this space. She immediately gets spit out of the whale because he thinks it's a fingernail. The whale is just like not even bothering. Well, I was like, oh, no, I'm actually on a diet.

It's like, I was going to keep this in, but she tried putting giant angel wings on my mouth. So I had to spit around. Jimny Cricket just hangs himself. Jepetto's all. Why are you not saying more time with me? So then we move on to Melissa Gorka's terrible marriage. I guess I shouldn't say marriage, but husband. And Andy's like, so isn't that little guy you're married to Setting a bad example on how to treat a woman and she's like, well, Auntie, it's not always about the roles of man and woman Which is what I'm trying to teach my husband if he'll let me and he if he'll let me

Yeah And then There's like just talk about like the boutique and everything and envy. And he's like, yeah, I bought $700 worth of shitty bathing suits there for Gabriela and then I returned him and then paid another $500. And there were still shitties. And I was like, well, this is what you get when you buy a thing, something that you're a stupid sister in law, stupid store.

You know what I'm saying? And these like, do they get discounts and March goes very generous discounts. Very generous and Theresa gets more than me. And most of us like Jesus Christ. And she's like, I'm just kidding. Yeah. So now it's the Melissa segment.

And the first is to intro to Andy goes Melissa went from searching for her sister to finding herself without a sister still because her search was just a crappy test from the internet. Yeah, and also it was based on literally nothing just with some kooky lady from Jersey said to her once. So yeah, I guess watch talk'm still looking for a storyline. All right, Melissa. Yeah.

Yeah, so, uh, shocker, her 23 and me kit, uh, produced no results, except that maybe she's like 5% canole or something. I don't know. But basically, she doesn't have a sister that she a love child sister And and she and of course she starts to cry about it She's like, I don't know. I just I get emotional when I talk about when I talk about my dad I said to get emotional like but you were talking about an imaginary sister that like literally does not exist Okay, and if she does exist, I'm happy to eat my words. Okay, cuz I'm very hungry right now But honestly like are you really making a sit-out are you really gonna make make us watch you cry about a sister who doesn't exist

because you saw someone crying at your dad's funeral no yeah well it's because they said dad so she's crying because of that and so then Andy's like well how old were you when your dad died and she's like 17 Andy and I will see the way you grow up really affects you and daddy issues and Tracy goes yeah That's why my kids need their dad to come home and not be deported Like Jesus Teresa could you get the woman one minute? I know that's why my kids need their dad to come home because their daddy issues We're just about to go away and they need to revive them, okay? I because their daddy issues were just about to go away and they need to revive them, okay? I think we should build a wall, Andy.

Walsh so high that planes can't fly over and they deported it to husbandsies. A wall that keeps in all the good little girls and keeps their daddy issues on the other side, okay? So Andy's like, so what's your reaction to Melissa searching for a sister? She's just, yeah, she has a sister right here, so. And Melissa goes, wait a minute, you're taking offense to me looking for my sister.

And she's like, no, I'm just saying you got a sister in law, you should treat more like a sister than you do. Yeah. By the way, though, it's funny because the the psychic said your dad wants to know the oven other sister and like that could have been interpreted as guess what like Teresa is really like you know consider you should be treating Teresa like your sister, but it's that Melissa get very literally I mean which is probably for the best I think probably the option of a ghost sister is Probably better than still having Teresa who is an actual tangible person in your life. Yeah. I mean Teresa just doesn't stop, you know.

Yeah. You should be on this side of the couch. Just on your stands. And Melissa's like, oh my god Teresa, I did not make the seating chart. Tell Andy if you want the choice to change. And she's like, yeah, but you side and with people against me. Hello. She was actually answering her cell phone at that moment. That's how she answers it. Hello. This is like, I'm literally sitting here talking about my dead father and my invisible sister. Okay. And she's like, I just saying, you side with people against me.

Please, you're side with Dolores against me. And Dolores, because I wasn't against you. I'm not against, uh, Tari- uh, Melissa to be in my Tari's. You know what I'm against? Peppletile, okay? I'll just say it. Can we talk about Peppletile? And you're just like, no. Um, you know what I'm not for, but I'm not against Scyther? Cookies. There. I said it. I made a stand. You know what I'm not for, but I'm not against either cookies. There. I said it. I made a stand. You know what? There's a time and a place for everything Melissa, like cookies after lunch, but not cookies for breakfast. Okay. By the way, I have to say also, as ridiculous as Teresa is being, and as much as I'm super into Melissa this season, Melissa is hilariously taking any chance she can to be outraged at Teresa to make Teresa the villain. Like Teresa is like,

I had a, I had a piece of butter today. Oh butter. Now you get to eat butter. But before when I served you butter, you wouldn't eat the butter. So I'm the villain now Teresa. Is that the way it's gonna be? I'm like, okay, pop down Melissa. She is but Teresa like literally can't even let her talk about her dead dad. Why am I saying literally so much today? Literally. Literally. Literally. Yeah. So yeah, so Teresa's like, when Jackie was coming after me, you said it's sticking up for me, you just sat there. And Melissa's like, yeah, but I don't know if you did you just say this when Dolores went after me instead of sticking up for me, you just sat there and must have said, yeah, but what I don't know if you did you just say this when Dolores went after me instead of sticking up for me and

she's like, but Dolores has been around for 20 years and you could just see Dolores just sitting there. I can just imagine Dolores just sitting around for 20 years. Yeah, I'm right here. 20 years. I've been sitting here. It's comfortable. It's comfortable, Chair, but you know, sometimes you got to move on. You know what? I don't want to move on when I'm in a vulnerable place, though. So I'm just going to sit here for 20 more years. Okay. I'm still here. Right. And it's like that on John's on when I'm in a vulnerable place, though. So I'm just gonna sit here for 20 more years. Okay. All right. I'm still here. All right.

And Teresa goes down. It's like that on John's song. I'm still standing, but you know what? I'm sitting. I'm still sitting. Better song. I've seen good times, bad times. I've seen them all, but my dear, my mom's

really cookies for breakfast. Like what are we gonna do? So Marge, I know you were just about to make a point, but I'm fired up and I have to say this. We can't afford it. In the middle of all this, when Teresa is, again, attacking Melissa for not adequately defending her honor to Jackie, Marge is like, you know what, Jennifer tried to cut you with the glass and she didn't stick up for you.

And I'm like, you know what, thank you, Marge, because I almost forgot about that. And that's way worse than anything that Jennifer said about Joe. Yeah, that's way worse than anything that Jennifer said about Joe. Yeah, that's true. But you know, nothing can win in a fight about years because that's what this is. It's like, to rea. She's like, well, Dolores stuck up for you

and Trees is like, this one's been here 20 years. And she goes, that one's been here five minutes. Like, oh my God. I can see Trees are just basing everything on her life based on time. Like this pizza's better because it took longer to get here It's little ceases okay, it's been around since Caesar was around Little Caesar's the best because it don't even come to you. It's not like dominoes as quick that shitty It's not like Papa Johnson takes forever to get a little

season. You actually have to go pick it up. Here's why I like little season is more because it's not just pizza. It's pizza pizza. So it has more pizza in it. So Teresa's like, don't look at half I am. Oh, so now no one can look at me Teresa. What you got to control everything and to Laura's because there she is with that word control thing It can we stop with the word control? Teresa's like I hate that shit when she says controls

You know what the other day I turn on the radio Janet Jackson. I know what she's saying control She just had control. I think you know what Janet. Do we have to sing this song right now? It's it's not the right time Janet She didn't answer, it was weird. Then Melissa, for no reason, it's like, good job, sister-in-law, good job. Take a shot, right at your sister-in-law, that's good, that's good. No wonder why I'm looking for another sister.

And the tree said just blinks. Like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blinks like I learned it from you Okay you too This is my favorite part of the whole thing and it goes on a lighter topic Melissa's gonna turn 40 you know the f-word and trees because no F words remember Different doesn't like the F was no fucking F words. You're bubba.

He don't like it. They don't like F words. I'm like, baby, it's not all F words. 40 is not the real F word. Okay. She's so dumb. I love it. I know.

No F words. So then we go to commercial break and we come back. But he and he's like, you know, Teresa, you know, I just have to say that when you said, you have a sister right here, that was like a pretty lovely moment. Yeah, right. Yeah, I was sweet. That's why I was like, you're sweet. But it, but it took a right turn and you could just imagine. Dries, I mean, like, I didn't, but how did I take a right turn? I was sitting right here. I didn't but how to take a right turn

I was sitting right here is it a she's like looking behind the couch where it goes she's like what do you mean how did I terms is and Melissa goes maybe I know we're better than you Andy because that was not her being nice she She was being nasty. She was, how's that being nasty? She goes, oh my god. Here we are into Reese's world part two. Yes, my fucking world. Yeah, that's my fucking world. Oh, you're cursing like a psycho. Oh, I forgot your butt buddy. Don't my cursing effort. Teresa is just at that point where she just kind of repeats what Melissa says, but with like a sarcastic agreement.

Like, oh, okay. And now I gotta go turn on my car because it's cold outside. Yeah, you better, that's right, it is cold outside. You know what else it is? Super cold outside. All right, okay, well, I gotta go, hold on, I gotta text Joe Gorgher.

Yeah, you do, yeah, you gotta text him, huh? Huh? I'm just saying that you're supposed to be my do. Yeah, you got a text, huh? Huh? I'm just saying that you're supposed to be my sister. Yeah, I was saying, am I sister? And I got like laughing in my sister's. And this goes, yeah, I really feel that my heart to reset you. You do?

Because I don't. And then so, yeah, there's like a lot of like talk again about the cursing or whatever. And then so yeah, there's like a lot of like talk again about the cursing or whatever and then so Teresa's like Melissa should be on my couch like she brings us up like for the 10th time and he's like okay, okay Listen Melissa didn't choose where she's sitting and she's just goes Andy just watch the season Which I love because it's like even evident to Teresa the Andy hasn't been watching even Teresa can pick that up Yeah even evident at Teresa that Andy hasn't been watching, even Teresa can pick that up. Yeah, yeah. And Marge is sitting there whispering things

such cracks in me up, because Marge's like, well, she's not like the other one. So at least let them have their segments, you know? Yeah. And Melissa's like, I feel like I'm going fucking crazy right now. And Andy's like, well, do you feel it? And Marge goes, no to self, she doesn't feel it.

Right. Like no to self, like seriously, literally, I'm taking a note to myself right now and I'm, she doesn't feel it. Right, like no to self, like seriously, literally, I'm taking a note to myself right now and I'm saying she doesn't feel it. Anybody else have a question? Andy's like, oh, classic Molly. Watch the season, Andy. Watch the season.

Like I do, there's Janelle and Janice. And Denise, D'N, DeLue, Splendifer. So now they bring out Joe Gorka. He comes out looking like he's a balancer at like one of TNX newest nightclubs. So he comes out looking like he's a bouncer at like one of T-necks newest nightclubs. So he comes out, he's got a stupid sculpted beard. You know what? That's one of my least favorite things is when a guy does like a highly manicured sculpted beard. Hate it. I hate when guys do events that cost $10,000 to go to. Have you heard of his event thing that he's doing? He's like, Joe, lift like Joe Gorga, be a Gorga. Oh, I've noticed that on Instagram,

he's been posting inspirational things that are poorly stated. So he had one that said, be nice to people on your way up because you'll never know who you're going to run into on the way down when you're heading down and you might see them again. I'm like, this is a better way to say that. And then he's had, he's like hashtag positive validity.

Like, it's really this misguided thing where he's kind of trying to be like the Tony Robbins of House flipping like we buy a glee out. He's literally hashtagging we buy ugly houses. Yeah, like you sell them too. He's going to be teaching a seminar at the unlearning annex So he's giving up. It's so funny. You charge us $10,000 to go learn to be a gorgah I'm like babe you remember when your marble in your house was made out of like foam and it was fake I mean come on you can't even sell the house that you built because I feel like they should come on now, come on.

I feel like that Teresa and Joe should do like a seminar like I do like a Ted Talk, but instead of be called like a Ted to Ted talk, you know, and he's like, yeah, she was on this season. She was great. Ted to Ted. Oh, Ted to Ted. Yeah, she was great. She opened up that Pizzeria fashion store, right?

Oh, man. So Andy's like, oh, by the way, also Joe Gorgher looks fucking wasted out of his mind, okay? Yeah, I was really hot by the way. Yeah, completely be your hot. So Andy's like, so Gorgher, you're hot. Did you have deja vu about spending time with your dad when Theresa gave you that shit at the christening? And he goes, here we go again, Andy. Ha! It's also one of his defaults. It's like, so Joe Gorgah, did you just jerk off in that plant because we just saw you

do it and there's still some sploge in the back of Jackie's head. Ah, here we go again. Huh? Okay, Tony Sloppens, your balls are hanging out of your zipper. Here we go again, am I right? Am I right? Trees is like, eh. So hey, does Joe Gorgah think that Trees

was using Joju Dice as a puppet with No-No? Because the whole one of the issues was that. Oh, was that the Joe Gudeis was getting into Nono's ear to be anti-Joe Gorgah. And so was that like was Joe, was juicy Joe basically tree's puppet. And basically Joe Gorgah was like, no, he wasn't a puppet, this was all Joe Gudeis. And I did enjoy this. I liked the shade that Joe Gorgah was trying to be subtle about whereas was like, no, he wasn't a puppet. This was all Joe Judice. And I did enjoy this. I liked the shade that Joe Gorgas was trying to be subtle about where he was like, you know what?

I mean, look at him and look at me. Okay, I'm jerking off into the back of Jackie's head right now. Joe Gorgas jerking off into, you know, someone who's met last name is... Bubba. Bubba. Like, I don't know where I'm going with that one, but either way. that last name is uh... tethered tethered like i don't know where i'm going with that one either way

but he was basically like look i was out working bust in my ass trying to build my life and he was out playing and join himself you know i bust in my ass the hard way you understand you know what i'm saying? you know what i'm saying? you understand what i'm saying here and and he's like uh... you're saying he didn't have anything else to do so he spent time with your dad he's like no look what i'm saying you understand what I'm saying here. And Andy's like, uh, you're saying he didn't have anything else to do. So he spent time with your dad. He's like, no, look what I'm saying is I was busted.

My ass. Well, he, you get it, Andy, you get what I'm trying to say. He Andy. And Andy's like, uh, you're saying you're a legit businessman. And Jackie is trying to not bust out laughing. She's, it's like she's on a Broadway stage looking up at the balcony. Like she's like, is everybody seeing this right now? She's like I couldn't help but wonder.

Can you be a legitimate businessman when your man is in business legitimately? Hashtag carry Bradshaw really really Miranda. She's like I'm saving all of this up when I have to go off to Melissa next season. Sex in the suburbs So Andy's like why don't you just spend more time with your dad? What is so wrong with that? I'm listening if you ask everyone here who spends time with their parents nobody spends more time with their parents than Teresa and Joe Okay, like look he come no no complaints about everything if Teresa's not there

He says oh But he comes, no no complains about everything. It's Teresa's my day, he says, oh, he's at never home! I think the kid, she at the gym! And I don't throw her under the bus now, too. Why? Like you just did. Ha ha ha. So listen, listen. Have you ever hung out with a hair dryer? Okay, that's what it's like to be with no no.

It's just like, oh! It's like a hair dryer with motion control Andy, okay? Every time you see somebody move in the room all you hear You ever wonder what it sounds like when Tarzan gets really old. Okay, that's no no One I got with that all the time okay Have you ever heard a chair squeak Andy? Now imagine that chair squeak never stopping. All right, that's no no. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo You want to hang out with a loading door? Hmm. So then Andy's like, so,

Patuki from Tawuki wants to know Teresa. You made a big deal about spending time with your dad with Teresa or Melissa and Joe, but you're working out two times today and shooting a TV show. It's not a little hypocritical. And she's like, I got four kids, is I buy myself, I gotta work. I'm like they're

not talking about you. I'm not talking about a job. They're talking about you going to the gym twice a day. I know she goes I'm by myself. I'm providing for my families. Okay, like thank God for me. Thank God for the kids. Huh? Thank God for the kids. What are they working to? Thank God for me. So funny. That's gonna be her musical. Thank God for me.

The Teresa, Judy's story. So then Gorgah, of course, like to cement this fight. He's like, hey, Teresa, huh? You using that thing in the drawer? That rabbit? And Andy goes, he's like hey Teresa, huh you using that thing in the drawer that rabbit and Andy goes He's talking about your vibrator It's real subtle Andy He's like use your rabbit Teresa use your rabbit. His name is Livo

Which is the funniest like you think to know ever like if anybody Oh, is that guys remember that, because you're gonna need that for house-wise trivia one day. Teresa's rabbit is named Lilo. So there you go. That's a lot of interesting implications there. I dream of the other caprio marrying Lindsay Lohan. That's her name to get up.

Lilo! So, uh, can a wife control her husband? Can we stop saying control? There's that word again. Oh my God. Oh, I tell Frank, can we just get rid of the word control? Can you issue a motion in the assembly? And he's like, guess what?

I've been disbarred. I'm like, I can't. How could you tell me that? I thought you were a lawyer again. You told me you got a lawyer. Turns out he likes me twice. Because I'm not wearing pantyhose huh because they call control tops I'm not even gonna deal with it right

just like I don't know if you can control your wife your husband I mean it depends on your husband right if you got a husband without balls like Marty maybe but you can't control me you can't control me at all it's like all you have to do is like take a hustle magazine and wagon in front of you And you'll do whatever is needed And then Teresa tries to explain what she means which is hilarious because Andy's like but Teresa could you guys control you? She's like you know I if you toss to me sweet he can get what he wants and Jen's like oh God just without the work control You see after he did it and Laura's cuz yeah down with the work control. I hate the word

So you see I ain't tell my dad what to say like he says he needs more time with them and he said that on his own and Jen goes I can help here Andy My husband had two surgeries, but he canceled them, so he could be here to love me today. Also because there's cameras here, which he also loves, and I'm embracing it, okay? The other day, he had five surgeries, and I was like, guess what? I got two tickets to see the lives of Menelini.

He said, okay, I guess I'll go to that instead. See, real easy, real easy. You know, now I say when you want to go on a date and he says, no, I say you want to go see Mama Mia again. And he's rubbing all over me and the whole way, the whole way he's rubbing on me saying, this is what it's going to be like. Hans, I think he calls me Hans for fun. I don't really get it. He just keeps saying, here we go again. My mind.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Look at that for that too. You're my dad. St. Green, green. So Trees was like, please, if you want something from my brother, you know how to get a honey.

When I said control, you knew it's exactly what I I was talking about, right? I didn't mean control You know what I mean you know my language. You know even this one. There's my language She's been around here for four minutes at that that that's splendid girl And these you know my language and you know my language when I say control I mean like I don't mean control. I mean like having the ability to have like To like control someone Yeah, I mean fuck them. That's what Teresa saying She's like if you want to control your brother

It was do you want to control my brother you fuck him? So basically Teresa's like core yourself out for for time for my father like yeah Fuck your husband when you don't want to so that my father can get some more time while I'm at the gym three times a day. I mean, come on. Exactly. And Joe Gorgas, like, listen, I'll suck my wife's toes.

I'll stick my tongue right in between each little piggy right there, okay? Guess what? This piggy went to market and this piggy went into my rectum, okay? And I'll work my way from the toes all the way up from the kneecap to the boobs to her tongue to her eyebrows. I'll do all of it and I'll make little swirling patterns

like I'm fucking, you know, like a figure skater right on her stomach with my dick, okay? And I'm gonna place the lean deans who really sets the mood. I'm gonna be like, catarina fucking fit with my dick all over her. But you can't tell me what to do. Thanks. Thanks for the image.

Yeah, thanks, Joe. And so Andy's like, hmm, people aren't fighting enough. So Jackie, Kimmelissa control Joe, and Jackie's like, now. That's your opinions, because you're best friends, huh, buddy? Huh? Melissa's like, what are we, 12? And she goes, we are. your opinions because you're best friends. Have a buddy. Have. Listen, what are we 12 and she's we are we are 12 because you like a bright right you like a bright right you like a you like a back back to nonsensical agreements.

Yeah, we are 12. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. I'm listening like she just died. Yeah, but dinosaur. Because listen I'm a listen like that. She just keeps it down to her soul. Yeah, I'm a dinosaur. Because I'm listening to this. You don't like her obviously in treason. Obviously, I don't like her.

See, if I put the obviously in the front of the end, it's scary, huh? She goes, I don't like us because she came between us to did. I'm listening to this like you came between us. You suck as a sister in law. Joe Gorgas, I came on both of you. Yeah.

The Lord says, OK, here I am. Resetta Drone. OK, this is what Theresa meant when she said that. She's just saying she didn't like that she came for Joe because she said something about a husband. She goes, well, I'm saying is family. She said sick with family. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. She's really good about family. She's sick with family. And then, but when Jennifer breaks a glass and is like going to go shank to shank Melissa, suddenly family isn't such about, isn't all about standing with family. Yeah. Well, what did she say about Melissa one year? It's like I didn't stick it in it. It's like she's

she's she's fat by marriage or something like she's only family by marriage, you know. Yeah, exactly. So trees. So trees is like, Melissa, your set of sets, when Jackie said those things about George, you should have said Jackie, don't speak to her like that. She's my sister in law, she's the greatest person. I know if she gets a great discount, better discount than everyone else at MV. And you shouldn't be saying that because she's living it in the moment. It baddened me.

Well, what about when Dolores said that I should have been there on the dead mom's anniversary? That wasn't cool like gilting us about that. She goes, I suck up to use, ask anyone. Absolutely. Dolores is like, mmm, all I can think about is telling my mom catch you want a cookie and throw in a carrot and see if she'll catch it That might actually be a good idea. I'm gonna try that. Yeah, I try to sneak a carrot into a cookie

You know like with dogs you put a pill into their kibble. You know what you put a carrot into a cookie Doesn't always work doesn't always work if they want me to say something They're gonna have to use the word control the tip. I'm triggered. This is me triggered right now. No, I'm on triggered. You know what? That was nice. I like actually being triggered for a second there felt good to be vital, you know. So then Teresa pulls out her, you know, her baby props again. She's like, well, this, your nieces have no fight here. I think I know. This's like, well, this, uh, your nieces have no fight it here. I think I know far. This is like, you know what? That is low. You're saying

nothing but bullshit on that cast. You are a mega bully. You're embarrassing. Why make up? I'm better. So many. I want, I want to make a bully. No, not the mega billions, the mega bully, mega bully no not the mega billions the mega bully mega bully So Gorda of course, uh, you know tries to end this like every five on here and she's like can I say something? Huh listen family family. We're not perfect. We make mistakes. You make mistakes You make mistakes people make mistakes in home blind, but they can fix them if they come to my, if they come to my tattoo, hashtag, we buy ugly houses, hashtag, you're a ugly hooker. Just shut up, use your rabbit, okay, family, right? Family. So, Melissa, do you think that Teresa just tolerates you?

She was like, you know what? For a moment there, I really thought things had changed, but honestly, I think she just tolerates me and then he's like well do you just tolerate Melissa and Teresa's like last time I mean again Blink blink yeah Teresa's just trying to figure out what tolerance I like to use I don't like public transportation no not trolleys you't take it. Not take a trolley tolerate ah I have an easy pass not no not tolls

No, and I know you're not told last cookies either I will never come on this is short no not tall tolerate So it doesn't mean to make someone taller to tolerate them I told that go to the Rafa So Teresa's like look, I don't think she's all lovey-dovey to me either Okay, the way she treats me is the way I treat her and Andy goes would you guys be friends off the show like would you be friends and Teresa's Teresa doesn't know if this is a good or a bad thing. So she's like, I don't know.

Maybe we would be friends. Like, she can't tell if he's trying to get her to insult Melissa or not. So then Kathy from the Hamptons, it has a theory. I don't know what Kathy's doing with the Hamptons, but she goes, Kathy's theory is that the tension between Theresa and Melissa is sexual God, I mean, it's a kid. Do they need to make this show grosser with?

I know it's already bad enough that we have a brother and sister have sexual attention And now we have sister-in-law that have sexual tension Yeah, no, Kathy pass. I pass. We know that was Ina Garten by the way right writing an under a pseudonym Just like oh, it'd be wonderful Just watching them to the gay from the home office wants to know. If you have a sister-in-law who's vile and lies and spent a year in jail, that's great.

But sure, Bob's fine. So then their answer is like, trees are like, yeah, she always does grab me ass. And Joe's like, uh, Trees is like, yeah, she always does grab me ass. And Joe's like, yeah, they love each other. Fambly. Fambly. Oh, so then the next questions are, how does Joe text the girls? Does he have a cell phone in prison?

Like, how big is his cornhole? Is it an iPhone X or a jitter bag? She's like, no, I text his and then the computers is like, oh, Joe, he is what's your wife is asses and stuff. So then we have the JoJo dies moment where Bravo once again tries to make us feel any sort of sadness for this family of frauds. So we see a very long montage of the history of Joe and Teresa and going to jail And then in a little box down in the corner where they see like live reactions

You know, it's just like a series of these people like the women like touching the corner of their eyes Make it's like they're crying as if like half the people here give a shit, you know, yeah, they're like I book or check I book or check Yeah, they're like, I book her check. I book her check. Yeah. And then so, because Andy goes, but, you know, Teresa, Mike, are you mad? And she goes, yeah, I went to jail. So of course I'm mad.

And you're like, but before when I was asking you, you wouldn't even say that you were angry. You've evolved. What? She went from Crow Magnent to the Ender's Vault. Doesn't mean she's arrived. You went from lying about not being angry to lying about not fucking somebody in my army when you were basically cold, holding his hand constantly on your sleeve. So she goes, yeah, but that time Andy, I didn't lose my family at the time. Like, I got a small family my mother my dad my girls Joe

So when is that like wow way to just leave out everybody else in your family? Yeah So yeah, so she feels like Jojo guys took away time with her mom and and so and he's like so do you guys fight about that? They're like no, we don't fight about it, but I like to throw it in his face. I'm like, yeah, so you fight about it. Yes. I throw it in his face when I'm mad. That's okay. You fight about it. Yes.

Yeah. So he's just doing strong though, guys. So Andy's like, but if he's deported, will he go directly from prison to an airplane? How does that work? What are the logistics of that? He's like, I don't know exactly the technicalities of that, but I'm a large.

So hopefully we don't have to cross that bridge because I got my easy pass revoked. Actually, remember when I said easy pass, I don't have no easy pass. And then he's like, well, I'll have lawyers given you even a sense of his chances for appeal. She's like, they're trying their best, the air. And that's a big question.

You've been so right or die with Joe and so devoted to him. Do you not remember just asking you about the affair that she's blatantly having right now? Yeah. I'm on. So you're going to go to Italy with Joe. She's like, ah, no, I probably wouldn't go and he's like, so what you're saying is You're gonna go your separate ways and she's like

And then it's like next week on the on the reunion. So that's our cliffhanger. Yeah, she's like not having that dad is bad But not having an American malls is worse. Keeping my kids here, Andy. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that was it. And that fillers in her cheekbones so she basically looks truly like an alien. God bless her. God bless her. Same. Yeah. So that's it for today. We will be back to model with our first recap of Mexican dynasties. Oh, so exciting. Go come to CS and Southwest Southwest next week, guys. For five minutes to see you and go get your tickets for that early Cincinnati shows. 5 p.m. in Simpson, Daddy.

It's gonna be a happy hour show. We're gonna get drunk. Okay, everybody, home with us. Be fun times, okay? See you everyone tomorrow. Bye. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.