Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The Elephant in the Duomo

Episode Date: December 15, 2017

The Real Housewives of New Jersey head to Italy! They throw glasses, scream, and sob. The ush. This week's bonus is about Ronnie's Austin performance as Bobby Bender, Ben's birthday weekend, and Married to Medicine! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, DC, and Houston! Tickets on sale Friday at 10AM. Find links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Okay. Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high. Christy Dowdy, the OG Prem Suprins. And our super duper premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the most gorgeous girl in Texas. We love you. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens Podcast. The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yale Brawbs.

I'm Ronnie Karem from Trash Talk TV, and the newly returned Riz Pricks Bachelor podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous little friend, a year older, but always as young and fresh and as hard as he was when he was 11 years old. Mr. Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog, Handa Pantse, Blinta, Hello, Bean. Hello, you know, today is actually the 26th anniversary of my bar mitzvah.

So you were really close when you said at like 11 years old, I was like, that was almost very timely. But it is timely that we will happy discussing anti-Semitism later today on. The anniversary of my ball minutes Ben has been alive for a long time, but he's been a man for 26 years today Happy Bar Miss today, Ben December 14th 1991, which I believe is 26 years ago. Oh my god Coins on the ground. I'm eating cold chocolate covered coins off the tables. It's like I was 13 all over again. Yes. 13 going on 30. So, um, yeah, welcome back to LA, Ronnie. Oh my God,

so good to be back. Leaving my family. It's sad, you know, because I'm like, I miss you. We got along so well. Um, and then I get home and I'm like, uh, boom. That's a lot of energy having to be awake and like talking to people in real life all day. There's a lot. We have something kind of like fun to announce today, by the way. I just want to get right into it. I'm like, that's nice pattern. Let's move on to an announcement. Yeah, you don't want to let that pattern go too far.

Well, I haven't had, I didn't get coffee today. So I'm like, listen, we got to use my energy while I still have it. Okay. Um, uh, this is something fun that we're going to be doing. Every year we do the golden crappies where we, um, it's our, uh, little watch. Oh, wait a minute. You really need to have more energy for this. This is an amazing an announcement. Okay. Whoa. Every year we do the golden guys. Okay, every year, every single year since we've started the show, we've ended the year with the Golden Crapie Awards. Ben, take it away.

Well, this year we decided to do something a little different, a little more exciting, a little bit more, whoa, this is crazy. This year we're going to do the Golden Cppies in front of a live studio audio. It's gonna be live. You are gonna see Ramona Singer there giving awards away. All the nominee clips that we play throughout the show, you're gonna be able to see them live people. Well, I'm not gonna commit to that because I'm not looking, I'm not gonna try to source

all those clips, but we can reenact them. That's for sure. And they will be reenacted. Many times. Yeah, that's what I meant. We never source shit. Oh, okay, I got nervous. I think we're actually gonna go find clips for things. No people. I was afraid. Yeah, well, because I know you love a project. So I was like, we had a second Roddy. No, no, no. I love a project, but I hate finishing them and living in them. Okay, but I love the idea of projects. I have a hot glue gun So that's right this year there will not be Fake applause sound effects. We will have real applause sound effects

We are going to be doing the Golden Crappies on January 31st at the lab at the Hollywood in Prove January 31st at the lab at the Hollywood improv. Tickets should be going on sale very soon. They might get the link during this podcast. We were actually supposed to have the link last night, but I was slow in getting assets over to the improv. Okay, so I'm sorry, I'm sorry, the maybe a small delay, okay? If you're late getting your assets to people, maybe you should realize you're your own asset, okay?

Look, I like to go to a bar, I like to put three assets out a tall asset, a short asset, and an asset that's medium sized with three lines in it. I just drink what I do like I'm pantomime drinking from a straw so that men will know that I'm thirsty, okay? So yeah, we're gonna be doing this January 31st, which admittedly is a little bit late for an end of your wrap up But it's still part of Hollywood award season. So we feel like it works We're right in between the Golden Clobes and the Academy of what's the golden crappies Don't worry. We'll slight Merrill Streep too. The year for it, okay, people. But here's the thing, it's a small venue.

It's only like 55, 60 people. We did not want to do a whole 200, 300 person thing, and then you have to hear us once again, be like, guys, buy the tickets, because we already have enough shows where we're we're saying that about like for instance Detroit Houston Boston and Chicago so buy those tickets because those are on sale. Yes and we also talked with the tour booker today who's amazing we're going to be on tour all the way through 2018 so we'll be announcing a whole list of shows way later in the year. But if you want us to come to your

town, just tell us on the Twitter or on our watch what happens. A crap ends. I'm so sorry. Watch what crap ends Facebook. Watch what happens live and loving it. It's a private group. Come in there. Talk to us. Let us know. Yeah. By the way, you should join that group. Anyway, watch what crap happens live and loving it because that's where we put all our updates about shows that we are thinking about doing, shows that we are doing. That's where we put information about like this,

where we'll be doing a meetup, et cetera. There's sometimes you put a poll where it's really important for us to get feedback from the listeners to know where we're gonna go, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, and it's where you guys meet each other and make plans to party together, get your party buses together. If people have extra tickets they're trying to sell or if people need tickets, it's a good

resource. It's what I'm saying. Exactly. So, be like classic mod and just be like all over it. Everyone, be sure to, I hope you're all paying attention to our social media because the moment these crapens, these golden crappies tickets go on sale There's only gonna be about 60 of them and they're going to be gone very quickly So the best way to make sure you know when that those tickets are on sale is to follow us on social media and make sure you put your alerts on for us to

Do it everybody. We're so excited. I'm tired. That's we think about 2018 Okay, cuz we don't know we shall show until 2018 and I'm tired. That's being about 2018, because we don't have another so until 2018. And I'm already like, I tired. I tired. We should also mention the fact that the golden crappies will be formal wear. I think I'm going to wear a tuxedo in fact. So that's I'm going to be black tie. I don't think everyone else has to be black tie, but I'm going to be black tie.

I'm going to be in jeans and a button down. Okay. There's that. It will be a, everyone a button down. Okay. There's that. It will be a... Everyone can do their own thing, but we encourage people to come in dresses and shirt and tie because it's a orcho. Yeah, it's going to be very fancy. That they're both...

I'm going to do it like below Deck Reunion where the girls are all in ball gowns and the guys are in jeans. Basically, I'm going to be the guys. You know my favorite part about the blow deck reunion was what? I don't know because Bravo decided to classify it as a watch what happens live special, which means it's not a record on my DVR. And then to make matters worse, if you go on to their website, they do not have it listed up there. It says full episode and you click on it says, here's a preview and I'm like, no, I want the full episode.

And then on demand, it's not there. And then on the Bravo app on Apple TV, also not there. So I am bitter. Well, we will be talking about that tomorrow with our top chef recap to get some people caught up. I personally record what happens live. You never know what's gonna happen. Yeah, guys. Oh, gotta have it. So I'm just I'm bitter. I'm sour. I'm not happy. I don't like when there are sneaky things with the DVR. I don't like when a network changes the name of something and then my DVR doesn't pick it up. I feel like that's on the network. They shouldn't do that. Well Bravo is the queen of sneak. Like they DVR doesn't pick it up. I feel like that's on the network. They shouldn't do that. Well Bravo is the queen of sneak like they'll release things and say it's real housewives of Atlanta,

Collin, whatever spinoff it is so that your DVR automatically records it and it gets good ratings. They are tricky tricky people over there. They are. They're so tricky. You know who else is tricky? Elephants. The real housewives else is tricky? Elephants. The real house of New Jersey. Elephants in the room. Elephants are always getting in the room. What sort of room are these women in? That there's always an elephant in there.

The elephants in New Jersey are so tricky. They're always finding their way into rooms. Well, that's what happens when you have like a foyer that's like five stories high. Elephants just come walking in. Send in the elephants. send in the elephants. Bring in the elephants. Yeah, it is a lot of elephants today.

Everybody says elephant in the room. I think five times, at least five times. And they're really setting me up to wait for an elephant. And when an elephant doesn't come in the room, I'm at. Like I didn't really expect an elephant to come in the room. But I thought if they keep saying it, maybe there's an elephant that will come in a room Who would be like, oh my god, that's why they said it 20 times. They were setting us up. Yeah, yeah, spoiler alert. No elephants came in any Elephants. Yeah, not no no elephants, which is a shame

I was really looking for looking forward to like a moment where some like I'd see a giant trunk and some tusks comparing through a wall in Milan. And unfortunately, it just never happened. Yeah, also, they weren't really in rooms that much. They were in that. Maybe they just got the Duomo confused with Dumbo. Yes, Duomo clown room. It's going to be so hard to not use Dumbo in the graphic for this, you know?

But Dumbo never showed up. So thanks a lot, Dumbo. So I'm calling this elephant in the room. So we start at Dumbo. Elephant in Milan. Elephant in Milan. So we start this with everybody doing their traditional housewives packing segments.

Yeah, it's basically, and then it's like Joe Gorgah who's like, oh my god packing again I feel like it's deja vu. It's like just relax sir. Just throw some tortellini at the wall or something Women in the packing they're always packing these women. What is it with women suitcases? Packings go in places, huh? I'm a list of like well, this is very important, Joe, because I really want envy to be more, okay? I just see more for envy. Well, it's living up to the name, I guess. This little envy word play, envy word play for the people. Did I just speak too shortly?

Were you trying to sip something? Yeah, I was sipping a gallon of water. You're like, Ben will have you're like, here, I'm going to set up Ben to talk about envy and wanting things. Shirley, he'll talk for about two minutes about something philosophical. Instead, I'm like, yeah, lives up to the name. You're turning on. It's like the biggest expectation ever for talking about the real house.

Well, I said, New Jersey. So she's in her closet. And, you know, we get a nice close up of that sexy picture she took of her Delegant her pink underwear and then little Joe's in there playing with some phallic light symbol some like I don't know like sword or something Light saber if you will lightsaber. Yeah, and he's like And I'm loving little snarky Joe Yeah, and then on top of that then he mocks his mom and goes I'm loving little snarky Joe. Yeah, and then on top of that, then he mocks his mom again. I'm a little girl. Nice to meet you. I was like, that's pretty much like better than any of our impersonations.

No, singer song on display, on display, on display. That's actually more keys than she ever sang in that song. So good job, little. Good job. Yeah, we also see our classic marriage packing. And she's very good. I haven't seen these girls since we all went, we all went to posh fashion show. We also had that turned out Joe's just like very difficult. Was she a pack the confetti, should put confetti on the duomo floor?

Should I do that? It's very, very classic march. What if I, I mean, what if our ovens don't work? Was Shishana gonna be like, do you think there's going to be a Shishana down the hall? I can borrow an oven from like, what are we going to do with the waffle fries? It's crazy. It's like literally crazy here. Do we think that do we think that Melissa will be mad if we're behind by Jody and Jody number two along? You know because we know you never know if the let's go out you

know Jody two she's always good for changing the light bulb. She's good for it. It's just what she does. I'm glad to Jody two. What are you doing? You're going to tell you you're gonna gain that Italian 10 pounds look Joe seriously Joe Like get over it Joe like you're making me crazy every time I go to Italy, which is every year like guess who else her name was Rivers Okay, like she'd love to go into a place with canals and when they're there when she's there They just call them the rivers. Okay, the rivers of Italy Joe went every year. Okay, I don't gain weight Joe., Joe. I don't gain weight because I'm thinking of shoes. Okay, look, how about this bag? There's no business like shoe business, okay?

There's no, and apparently the no business like shoe business bag wouldn't sign a release form because it's all over it out. Yeah, it's like we, we are not allowing our widestism onto this show. Yeah. By the way, I have to say, you know, you gotta give some props to our classic

marriage because people online keep posting things where they're like, well, I was looking through my class and I've got this radial sweat around. I looked, hey, it's Macbeth Collection. And someone else was like, I found an old can. It's like, De Kupage can. And I looked underneath and it said Macbeth Collection. And everyone's like, Macbeth Collection has quietly infiltrated all our listeners lives. And it sells everything like yeah the McBeth collection you can get anything people are like oh my god I got a new bagel knife shocker. It's

a McBeth collection. Yeah it's a McBeth collection. I mean Marcos everywhere. She's like okay we get to talk about shoes like seriously we, we're talking about shoes now. Now where's the big on life section? Do you guys have any of those big magnet things you can screw to the wall and then dive stick to them? That's what the big, big, best collection needs, okay? I'm very interested in light bulbs now. I want to have big, best light bulbs and they turn on, but they also turn off. It's like, they're called like smart bulbs, but they're not even smart bulbs. They're just sort of like mediocre intelligence bulbs. Like they sometimes work, They sometimes don't but I consider them at Ross and that's all that matters the classic March bulbs Classic you turn on you turn on the lights

She's like, uh, you just got jumped You he has to hear the way the classic March Bob works. Okay, you turn on the light It goes on for a second and it goes off and you have to call Jody down the street and she shows up And she's like I got a call Margot and Margot shows up. The two of them changed the light and next you know you're having fun. Next thing they know they're walking right here. They're walking out with makeup bags. They say there's no she no business like she business, okay. So over at Siggie's house she's like, Michael Campanella come help me.

He's like, could you packing? I hate packing. I'm a husband. Husbands don't pack. Come on, Elf. Me, I'm fine now. So he's forced into another scene. Yes, looking miserable.

He's like, I just put on my nan talk at sweatshirt. I'm not ready for this yet. So he's like, I don't know how you're going to leave the country with this woman. Because of course, now March is the biggest villain in Siggie's life again Yes, because she mentioned the word Hitler. Yeah, yeah exactly. Yeah, using the word Hitler is bad in so many different ways This is probably one of the few times when saying the word Hitler is probably okay

Yeah, I thought you too. I didn't take offense to it. I don't think anyone did except for Siggie But we will get into that surely later on. And he's like, you got to stay away from the toxicity. I'm like, you're talking, you just paid for like her fourth face lift, okay? There's nothing more toxic than like, cock in your face, okay? Well, I won't be stopped from friendship.

Okay, I gotta go just to bring up how insensitive it was to bring up Hitler. You're gonna go all the way to Italy to say that that was insensitive. Well, she at first she says she's not gonna bring it up. She's like, well, there's an elephant in the room, and I don't think that Italy is the place to bring up the huge Hitler elephant. I'm like, that's correct because it was more of a Mussolini kind of place, but anyway. How are we gonna get the elephant on the plane, Campanella? There's no elephant on the plane? Camping that up. There's no offense on the plane.

So she probably would have enjoyed the movie Operation Dumbot Drop, which I actually saw on an airplane. It all comes in full circle. Full circle. So speaking of Dumbot's dropping, let's go over to Trees House. That's not making any sense, but you know, we got to get there sometime. So she's like, black is mean. No, no, it's going to take care of the kids Puerto Rico mommy. And he's like, oh, last time I take care of these kids, I charged $300 next time.

Yeah, yeah. So it's basically just like a nothing packing scene. And then we find we go over to the airport and we see everyone's arriving at I'm assuming it's JFK. And my favorite part was this quick shot of like Daniels Uber driving away and the driver left the bags on like the asphalt instead of putting them up on the sidewalk. She's like, that's not exactly curbside. Like the lack of Daniel.

I know. I can pick it up the one inch. Yeah, I'm proud of you for springing for the Uber X, but still, that's not part of Uber X, and I'll do that, okay. Yeah, exactly. You're not exactly... I mean, I just... I think it's pretty curbside, Danielle.

It's about an inch away from full curbside, but I think it's like... I think it's acceptable. She's like, that's not exactly curbside up into the compartment above my head. Like, okay, you're expecting too much, okay? So then we see footage in the airplane and like cell phone footage,

and there's this one shot of Marge walking up the aisle, and I was like, you know, classic Marge is so that woman who's always walking up and down the aisle on an airplane You know, there's always a lady who is like, I just want to go stretch my feet and she goes She walks up and down the aisle and then she gets stuck behind the beverage cart And then she like talks to people from like like from the aisle, you know like look at me I'm stuck here. It's like it's like you know what I'm doing. It's like I'm in the waiting pants like I'm like a horse Waited go to waiting to feed, you know like

It's her doing Bethany there, but you know, she's like that one. Yeah, she's the one that minute it goes, ding, and the seatbelt light is off. She's walking around like, oh, hey, how you doing? What do you think? Why do you have to get up? Yeah. You like those, you know, comfortable? You like those, she's, what's your favorite thing

about those shoes? I'm doing some research on. All right, tell me your favorite thing. Try them out, try them out. Get up, get up, try it. Get up, walk up and down. Yeah, walk up and down. You got the chips or you get the cookies.

I got the cookies. I like the cookies personally, but that's, I don't know. I say the chips for Joe. He Joe is very much into the chips, but I'm very much a cookie person. What can I say? I eat in some wheat thins. You know, I really appreciate how they did that for the people who died from the peanut smell. But like now you're giving wheat thins and peanuts. It's like you can't win, right? Like what about the people who are going to start dying when they smell a wheat fin? You know, like what happened to those people? You just got jumped. That's a very good movie you're watching, by the way.

I saw it in the theaters. It's a Nicholas Sparkbook origin. It's called the Shaq. But guess what? It's actually about much more than a Shaq. You'll really like it. It's classic much. A baby driver.

Who would hire a baby driver? Am I right? Like who does that? It's like the most unsafe movie of the year. Hey, is there an award ceremony for the most unsafe movie of the year? Because that's ridiculous. I mean, these people at this point, they should just be getting out an Uber. You know, why do they have to drive everywhere, especially with a baby,

but a ridiculous thing? I don't know. I liked it. That was a good movie. Enjoy it. You'll have good flight. Have a good flight. See you later.

You know what? There's no business like the shoe business. Oh, you. Oh, you're watching at MSNBC. There are very, I like them, but you know, I don't know how I feel about Rachel Maddow. You know, she takes so long to get to the point. Anyway, have a safe flight. I think the government number between one and a hundred who ever gets it. It's a person with seahorse is kissing.

Okay. Thank you. Time. I just want you to let you know that you press fill into the aisle. Just here it is. Do you have you to have you shop for the Macbeth collection? It's it's just very great. You trade tables not all the way up which is hilarious.

That's what I do too. It's hilarious. I mean why they have us put it up. Put that the trade table goes up it goes down. I mean at this point they should just have it diagonally midway through you know. It's a good point. At this point they should just have one of those tables where the feet go under the couch so that it like reaches you while you're watching TV.

Am I right? Anyone? It's the Macbeth collection. You can get it in the grass right now. Look, I think your husband's asleep. Look, he's sleeping right there. He looks cute. He's adorable. Look, he's got a little blanket on. That's adorable. He's got the noise. The noise cancelling work. Do they work? Hold on. Let me try something. Hey, hey, hey, they work. Have a wonderful flight. He didn't wake up. I guess he's work. Okay, everybody go back to bed. Okay, go back to bed. I'm done here. So, uh, Sikki's just like, I want chocolate cake. I'm like, you're everyone's asking for too much on this flight already. Okay. Yeah. Everybody needs to be quiet. And Dolores is like, listen, this trip means a lot to me. One, I never been

to Italy. Two, I'm going with friends and people that might be my friends after they stop being mean. Three, I don't know what three is, but I'm on a plane and I've got a list. Four, countertops. Anybody? A countertops. I really like this plane because I can see, you know, the overhead compartments, they sort of remind me of cabinets. And I just did new cabinets and Frank is there and Frank is trying to put together a chair. And so I see these overhead apartments I think it's like Frank and Frank you're here with me right now and man's it's a city of love and I'm in love with the dog main boom so they arrive finally in Milan and they're in a van as usual and they get to the they get to the hotel and molasses like

hi I have six rooms. I'm like, this is Marge's trip. Don't not your rooms, they're Marge's rooms. And Melissa's doing that thing where she's like, I'm sexy, everybody. So here's how I envision Italy. You just stand around and hot men pop mozzarella in your mouth and Danielle's like,

yeah, you leave it open, lung and nothing. They'll pop in other things. Oh, Daniel, just be quiet over there, okay? It's not a costume. Sorry, I'm a little salty. I didn't get the curbside service. I ordered earlier. Would you apologize to my children?

Because they were embarrassed. I didn't get curbside assistance. I told my children that my bags be put on the sidewalk and they weren't. So I'd like you to come over and explain this to them, Uber driver. So they do that thing where they have to explain everything that they're doing because no one's really friends. I don't think that anyone in this gas is really friends because they're trying to set every single thing up so hard. Teresa's like, I don't even know. And then Marge is like, me and Melissa are gonna work. Okay? We're gonna go look at a shoe factory. I can't wait till they see my makeup back. Am I right?

And then Dolores and Siggy are like, we're gonna have fun. Just the two of us to prove that we're fun people. So yeah, they get to the hotel and Danielle, they're getting a tour of the hotel. And of course, it's, you know, pretty, but like very Italian. And Dan, he was like, now this is Italy. When you're here, you're family. Um, Danielle was also cracking me up because they, so they, they all, um, they all gone to their rooms and, uh, Dolores gave up her room, basically, so that way she could room with Ziggy, of course. And, um, after they've got their, their rooms situated, Danielle and Teresa were walking around and Danielle's like, it's been a lot of years since I was here.

I modeled here when I was younger. I was like, what? Good Danielle's job model in Milan. I'm sorry. I do not see that. I used to work at one of those shops that sold tiny little Michelangelo statues. I would give a see a slinky. Yeah, I used to model for slinky here in Milan. Yeah. And then of course, Teresa's not even listening. She's like, I was here twice as and then put a week on mommy. Just one time I had a kid and then one time I had a kid

inside of me and then one time I had another kid. Look, that place is called the Wal-Modern Milano. It's like beautiful. And Danielle, because I know I just can't. Not even enjoying it. And that you know, when you have, when you've had substandard curbside service, you really come to appreciate the beauty in this world.

You've had so much denied from you. I look around Italy, and I don't see curbs. So that means that the service is always good here. And I appreciate that. OK. I appreciate that. Dup-dup-dup, it's a musical break. And a du-dup-d, do do with the musical break and a doop, do do with the musical break. It's a doop, do do musical break.

So Melissa and Mars drive off to work and then see you in Dolores, go to the gallery of Victoria, whatever it's called. And they are all, you know, they're all just doing their own thing, having fun. And eventually Teresa settles down with Danielle for lunch, and she tries to drink her apparel spritzer through her Winster, which is funny. She's like, hey, I thought it was this draws, but it's actually a stick of wood and yet, yeah, yeah.

It's like trying to get water from a wood, you know? She's like, I got a, I got a Rosa R and says from my mommy because she's beside me right now. And I'm like, well, who's cooking ghost eggs for Melania? Like, you can't just take your mother, okay? Yeah, yeah. Ghost eggs back at home Melania sitting there waiting for Nana to take her turn at Rummy Cube. She's like, when she go? Ghost Nana's walking around wondering who stole her rosary. She's like, what the hell?

So Danielle kisses the rosary, it breaks out in scabs. And they're pretending to be really close here, you know? Trees. Last time I was here, it was under construction. It's like 10,000 years ago, Teresa was here. So Danielle, isn't that fun? Like, I can't believe ago Teresa was here. And Daniel, like, isn't that fun? Like, I can't believe that we're here. So elephants in rooms, you heard of them?

Yeah. I feel like there's an elephant in the room with Dolores and Siggie. It's like, oh, the elephant has come with ghost grandma to Italy. Yes. Ghost grandma was writing on ghost elephant. So what, this is now we get like a lot lot of cross cutting between all three sets of women. So, SIGGI is now saying, you know, things are good with Teresa, but now Danielle is always into Teresa's ear.

And that's the problem Michael can't vanilla. And Danielle, meanwhile, she's, you know, she's starting to pop because everything's fine with Teresa and SIGGI, but now Daniel is like, I just can't believe that Sigi didn't go off on Kim D at the Posh Fashion Show. I mean, that's not a true friend. That's like having roadside service instead of curbside service.

Not the same Teresa, not the same. It's like if that Uber guy, it's like if that Uber guy said, I'm leaving your your thing on not on the curb, but then later says I didn't mean to like what the hell you left on the curb. And that's my point. Trees like, so they're all trying to remind us why they're fighting, which we've been watching the show. We all know. But he's like, I'm having so much fun. Lunch is his. I sucked on wood. And then they have to talk about all this shit. And you can tell they don't want to, you're like can we just go do Italy things

Yeah, so over with Dolores and Sigi Dolores and Sigi everywhere they go. They're like it's beautiful We're having more fun than anybody and Dolores is like yeah, you know, I don't even want to hang out with anybody else So it's like ooh, they're gonna make a meeting the same restaurant, but they did and so this they're talking about Hitler and Well, because Siggy says I cannot believe that Danielle is the enemy for years and years of hatred and now she's like a bridge over troubled water You know, and now Marge is their super friend and Siggy goes well for her say Hitler, when she knows I'm a super Jew.

My father's a Holocaust survivor. What? And then, Lord, it's like, what kind of person has Hitler run their mind? I'm like, you know, just because you hear the word Hitler does not mean they were saying, Heil Hitler, like kill all the Jews. Like Hitler can be used as an example of extreme terribleness. It's not directed at you because you're Jewish. And I'm a Jew. And it's my bar mitzvah-aniversari today, OK? Where's my bar mitzvah-aniversari cake?

Yeah. So then it turns to Melissa. And she's like, I'm telling you, there's a ticking time bomb in an elephant is going tick tick tick tick tick So March takes her to this show room and she's like come on so feel the rent Now you do it. Oh, no, she's like come on, Sophia LeRent, we're here. Margaret Joseph's nice to meet you. And I like her business voice. She's like, Margaret Joseph's nice to meet you.

Are you taking more seriously that way? Love your business voice, babe. And Melissa tells her, well, at Posh, we have a lot of empty floor space because of Jackie. So thanks, Jackie. And also a lot of, oh, envy. Also a lot of ready to wear, you know, things you wear from day to night.

You know, we're like sexy with classy. Oh my God, this you don't see in Jersey and it's a sweater with fur on it. Like, yes you do. Yeah, yeah. I feel like besides anything that she gets there that looks like sort of fashionable or she will not fly off the shelves at envy.

People be like, I don't get it. We're all the cutouts in the fur. guess that looks like sort of fashionable or she will not fly off the shelves at envy. People be like, I don't get it. We're all the cutouts in the first. Where are the pirate shirt cutouts? You know, they had much better, they had much better inventory over a cafes. You know what? I really like the sweater with fur. It could use some exalad.

That's a cafes. Yes. So, meanwhile, then later that evening, we're back over at the hotel and Marge is trying to pop a champagne bottle, which she apparently has never done in all of her life, despite everything she's done. She's never, never once popped a cork off of something.

Classic Modge. So she's like trying to do it with the metal foil salana, which seems problematic. And it is because then sort of like, the cork pops off and then like gets it first. Oh my god, it's all over my phone. I never popped up a chef out of champagne before. Like would you believe this?

Like if Joan Rivers will live right now, she'd be laughing at me, turning me into a joke and be just like massively popular line of jokes that she would just say about my friend Maj with who can't do champagne. I mean, it's like classic Joan, classic mod, Maj Jen. If Joan was here, she would be face-Timing me right now because I finally learned how to hang up on that. And you know, she'd be on the FaceTimed on me. Oh my god, classic

March, classic Joan, classic March. And then the phone would break because it doesn't work because I didn't know how to open champagne. What an idiot. Guess what? Now I've got a new coaster idea. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, great, Jesus' coaster is old iPhones that I've just poured champagne onto. It's a pretty glamorous actually. I kind of like it. It's like a high-low coach. Very cool. A breath collection. So Danielle comes over and she's like, wow, look at you.

My Bubbies were out today and yours are out tonight. Ooh, look at that booty. OK, well, thanks for coming by, Danielle. Did you bring cookies? Anything useful, you know? And then to Marcia is talking to Oh, I'm sorry. What marched you? No, no, it's fine. You could go on.

Tree went over to a Mell's room and she's like, we went to the Duma Malka theme rolls. And Melissa's like, isn't that in Rome? They have those here too. Teresa's like, bramets, but she's just like, it's not making me look like this not when he is. I sucked out of a wood straw that wasn't the straw it's not making me look like the smart one. He is. I sucked out of a wood straw that wasn't the straw.

And you're making me look like the smart ones. Mwah. It's funny. Teresa's look, the look she gets on her face when there's someone else stupid in the room. She's like, yeah, man, and I'm not used to this. The tables have turned it again.

So then Danielle's like, well, I'm seeing you with Marge and you know, it would be a good time to talk good thing to talk about right now. The elephant in the room. Sure not. It's in this room. Do you feel it's spirit? Marge is like, well, you know, you know, what I say to elephants, I say, you're great. I love how you can just sit there on a rope that could not possibly hold you. But you think you're captured in any way. So you just sit there. I know the feeling like, look, Look, look, look, I'm sitting here. I'm going to be at that dinner. Was I captured? Probably. Can I run? I don't even know. I'm sick of

dry. So, um, so now because Danielle got into Teresa's ear about this whole thing about how like Sige was not vocal enough against Kim D. Teresa is is back to being mad at Sige. And now she's like really fired up that she feels like Sige shifts it up for her with Kim D, etc., etc. So basically going into dinner. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. They're all mad at each other all over again. Yes, and my title of this scene is Dimner because I misspelled it, but it is very Teresa.

Like, that's gonna dim. Also, they gave a letting was dim. Yes, and it was dim, yes. To hide all the wine stains on the wall from retakes when somebody throws a wine class at the wall They gave up their jazz music and I was really loving the like Like the 50s music and now it's all this dareps music, which is weird because we're in Italy anyway Yeah, all those statues of really depressed people hiding from the gods that are striking them all dead I was looking at all those statues on the Duomo and I'm like oh my god

Everyone looks terrified and they're running away from something and it's probably Joe asking them for money Which Joe oh, yeah, that's true So Siggie's like oh my my god, this place is so big. Beautiful. I'm going to pop a squat right here, like this joke. So classy. So the way they're, oh, what are we going to say? Go on.

Because these are all just such random things I'm spitting out. And I know it. So I'm like, I don't want to torture Ben with this. So I'm like, the speed. No, I'm just having a trouble. I'm having trouble getting a word and edge wise today. I feel like you're really excited about this episode. I guess I am.

You know what? It's Ronny loves a good millen, millenase backdrop. You promised me an elephant in a room. I'm excited. But can I tell you it's my childhood? Anyway, so go on. Sorry. Um, really, I was just going to say the

waiter came over and he's like, we're going to have a Milano style meal with a special drink. I'm like, okay, so some pasta. It's just like Melissa's restaurant. Live along. Yeah. Um, but before they got to the restaurant, they had this van ride, which I thought was funny because first of all, Delora skits in the van and she's like, well, you know, it's weird. I don't have a pit in my stomach today, so I guess that means that things are pretty good. You know, I don't have no pits. Everything is good, but you never know with this crowd.

It's like feeding time at the zoo. I'm like, oh, Delora. She's like, if Danielle's gonna talk about the elephant, I'm bringing the zoo back, okay? Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you for at least adding something to it, you know? Like, I've been in this neighborhood in the zoo before, let me tell you something that elephant in the room. He's got some big trouble. Maybe it's not an elephant in the room. Maybe you're just at the zoo. Have you thought about that?

Have you ever thought that we're all in a room inside of an elephant? Has anybody even considered that? Maybe we're just in a giant building that's shaped like an elephant. So then Dolores, and then in the car Dolores is, everyone's hungry and Dolores is like, well, nobody gets hangry like Melissa Goga and Melissa's like, especially when she's hungry. And Dolores is like, well, hangry me and Sangry.

So I let that one pass. I am here to teach her things, but you know, baby steps. Baby steps. Yeah, Melissa's really struggling in Italy, I think. It's when hanging people is still hungry. Okay. Porn Melissa. Yeah, it's me.

So back at the restaurant, which is where you were. I just had to, I just had to, I just had to, Maron. So then it's Reese's pouring wax from a candle on her hands. I actually wrote on her handles Which is kind of funny. She's like I love waxes and I don't know if people do that But I've never seen people go into a restaurant and pour the wax from the candle on their Really? Oh my god, of course people do it when they're five. Oh Snap. Yeah, I did it as a kid all the time. Me and my sister would be like,

Oh, oh my gosh, now look, it's cresting. Look, I made a version of my finger because you put your finger in the wax and then you can pull it off once it cools. I mean, we were very impressed with ourselves. But, you know, we were children. So. Yes, yeah, exactly.

So then Danielle then does a, then does a demonstration on how to give someone a rainbow. She's like, what you do is you put your lipstick on your lips and it should be easily accessible because your bags have not been put on the curb. So you just reach down instead of reaching across over to the curb. You put your lipstick on and then you just do some deep, throwing a little deep turns involved and they leave a little mark at the base of the penis. I was like, oh Daniel, I don't, not only do I not want to hear this from you, I don't need to see the demonstration on like the water bottle that you're doing. I know, and she was putting on fresh lipstick. She's like, okay girls. Here's my empowerment seminar. It's the rain.

Has anyone given an elephant a rainbow before just want to know There's an elephant with a rainbow in the room, okay? Who gave it to me? Okay, you start with this lipstick then you put on this color lipstick then you put on this like what is going on in here? Melissa's like well, I couldn't do that to Joe because I would choke. It's huge. I'm just saying like Joe Joe is the elephant in the room just saying I'm just saying like Joe Joe was the elephant in the room just saying Yeah, and the Lord is like please give me drinks

Yeah, so a Tarius Trees is like oh my god my husband email didn't means he's like what's the weather? How's Don't mask a T-drolls? Where's your state cheaters? Don't ask a T-droll Melissa's like oh because you told him that Kim is calling you a cheater. That's funny He does. Oh, I'm going to ask at the age of eight. Yeah. Melissa's like, Oh, because you told him that Kim is calling you a cheater. That's funny. So they're all having a great time. They're drinking even even classic marshes, a few sips. They're getting drunk.

Everything is fun. But then when this text comes through by mentioning the cheater situation that inspired Sigi to want to address nothing else but the elephant to the room. The elephant to the room. Obviously, we gotta talk about the elephant. That is in this room. I'm Melissa Gus. I told you tick, tick, boom.

Now first of all, I thought Sigi was not gonna talk about the elephant in the room, but apparently she can't help herself. She must, she sees an elephant, she must talk about it. Second of all, just second of all, I don't know, like it's kind of sad. They're all having fun time that has to go in this direction, but thank God it does because things get real spicy real quickly. I'm starting to think it's just an excuse for them not to ever have to eat anything. Yeah, because it might get you're going to fight wait till dessert, you know, like can we get one goddamn meal in on this show, you know? Yeah, but if you wait,

sorry, you wait for dessert, then the dessert might get thrown across the floor. She cracked the top of it against the wall. So the reason why Sige brings us up now is because the cheater comment that Joe Judas made segues into this talk of Kim D claiming that Theresa is a cheater. So Sige starts saying how she defended Teresa. 100% I 100% defended you. I said, listen, Kim D put those hair fangs down. I will not stand for this sort of character assassination. There's an elephant here and he does not want to hear it

because he will always remember the elephant never forgets. How about we start calling this elephant Smarro instead of Dumbo and give it a positive slay. Tell about that, ladies. Um, I'm like, I defended you 100%. And 5% of that went to charity. And Danielle's like, um, I did not see you do it. So I don't know when you did it, but I wasn't there to see it.

Yeah. I, I don't know. And she does that thing where she puckers her lips and then like that hurt eyes flare and then she like looks down at her bread plate. Like, I don't know. I didn't see anything. Kim, I mean, Danielle really thinks that trees don't fall home to forest unless she's there to see them. At this point, make a sound probably not. I wasn't there. I believe it's a very strong philosophical question and I believe the tree did not make a sound because I wasn't there. I know a tree fell in the forest and I heard

that the sound it made was that you know you're not a good friend to Teresa. If a tree cheats in the forest and no one was there to see it, did it really happen? If a tree if a tree is being leaned against while a husband talks to his mistress and calls his wife to see word on TV. Did it happen? Did it happen? So at this point, they're all like doing some weird whack them all thing where like different ladies are standing up for no reason. Like one goes up and then to go down the three go up and to go down. It's just like this up and down up and down.

And Melissa starts three hash her situation. She's like, let me tell you what happened at the Posh Fashion Show. I turned to you too, and I was like, are you still gonna walk in this show based on what she's saying? And Dolores, you got in my face, and you screamed at me and belittled me in torsions. And I felt very bad that that when that was over,

I felt very bad. Well, I wasn't there to see that. I wasn't there to see her feeling bad. So I don't know if it happened. I'm always just like well I haven't heard that you felt bad and she was we haven't seen each other. I mean now we're face to face Yeah, glad we're still reenacting everything like Dr. Vicki told us Yeah, she's like most is like you know I got shamed and schooled like a young child and it's not fair. It's not fair at all

I don't want to be treated like a young child You don't know what a bar mitzvah is, okay? You need to be schooled like a child. Like, let's start to go find me to get Melissa's schooled like a child. You need the portmanteau of hangry deconstructed for you to for it to make sense. Single-poor math, go. It's a spinoff. Yeah. So then Siggie's like, okay, well elephants elephants, etc. Here we go. So they are going to be people who don't like me in our life and vice versa. And of course, I don't know if you heard it, but the producer's been a little ssh sound effect, which was like, that's not a way the way you say it, Siggie. It was like, that was messed up, but

it was also a burn. Yeah. And three, like, what do you mean like she's Jewish so oh no because no no so Sigi Sigi says how could you bring up so Sigi says yeah well Sigi basically is like for instance hit for instance Margaret over there she says crazy things for instance she brought up she she brought up the wood Hitler when we're having discussion. And who does that? And Mark was like, what's going on?

I was just texting with Mark on number one. And I was like, could you believe the craziest thing? I opened up some champagne for myself the first thing. Next thing you know, you're talking about Hitler? Like, what's going on here? This is crazy. I wish Joan Rivers were alive to see this right now, because you'd die all over again. But she said Hitler at Fresco.

She said it at fresco. And markets like, uh, it was analogy. Okay. I said Hitler would be good to me. But that doesn't mean I would stand by him because he wouldn't be nice to you. Okay. Like, what's going on here? Like, why are we talking about this? And see he goes, unless we're discussing the Holocaust Hitler is never okay to bring up. Right, which is so crazy. Like that's such a crazy idea that like,

it's actually annoying. What I don't, I hate that. Like I am someone we talk about this with children too, Hitler and children. Like just because someone mentions or references a child, it's like don't talk about my child, don't let's like, don't talk about my child. Don't you ever talk about my child? It's like, you know what?

Listen to the context of the sentence before you totally become bonkers. Okay, it's not always like an attack on you. It was tough being so sensitive. Yeah, because March was just saying, like, I would have stood up for you, you know, because you're my question. It was a dumb way to put it, but I just can't.

I wasn't even I wasn't even that dumb. It was fine. It was honestly, it was fine. It was analogy, as they say, as even Danielle says, you're getting off track. It's an analogy. I'm like, whenever you have Danielle having to school you on grammar, that's a problem. Melissa Techno. Yeah.

So it's a syntax addiction. So Sigi, Ziggy is saying how our parents are survivors. But I like the markets. I'm sorry. I just have to get this thing because markets has a but look how am I supposed to use examples of

the evil people if I can't use the examples of the evil people I don't get it. Like what is this? Like what is this? She's right. She's totally right. Yeah. And trees like, yeah, she's Jewish. And sherees like, yeah, she's Jewish. And she's like, well, I'm not.

But my son is Jewish, my children are Jewish, and Sikki goes, well, look, I know many people who marry Jews who can't stand Jews. And then that's when Daniel goes, O-L, off limits, and Melissa stands and goes, below the belt, below the belt, which it was. And then Margaret's like, how dare you say can't stand juice? The how many times I've told you, Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers.

I'm basically Joan Rivers. How could you say I don't like juice? I'm trying to be friends with someone named Judeis. Like, what are you even talking about? I can't stand juice. Like now it's her turn to totally overreact because I don't think she is. Now, I think that was not an overreaction. I think that was actually a very suitable reaction. I think that's Ciggy with way out of line and she gets even more out of line when she goes,

you're anti-submatic. I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, Lord, I have defended you pretty much all season. I really enjoy you, Ciggy. I actually, I like you on the show. I, despite your craziness, there's something I really love about you. That was totally uncalled for. It's not right. And it's bad. I think it's, it gives a bad name to Jews. When you do that, when you just like, just because someone says something that you don't like that you would say anti-Semitic, that's bad.

It makes Jews look like we're all over sensitive. And if like someone happens to say something, well, if that's anti-Semitic. I don't like that. And I think it's, it also is, it undermines the things that really are anti-Semitic in the world. So maybe you don't like hearing the word Hitler, but if you actually stopped and listened to what she was trying to say, you see that it was not anti-Semitic, it was not anti-Jew, it was not anti-Siggy, it was not anti her family or her parents or anything that her bloodline went through. Okay. And it really, really bothers me that that's you would say that. Yeah. Agreed. But the

word, my bomb, it's for anniversary. The word anti-Semitic is like the ding in the cake walk because suddenly they all stared up like they they're gonna have to start walking around the table until the chair is missing. Yeah, they're all standing up now and in each other's face about the word anti-Semitic. And Marge is going crazy over there and then Danielle's like, shush! And think he's like, I'm not listening to you Danielle. Okay, you shush! And Danielle's like, what? Hitler is part of history Josh and Danielle's like what Hitler is part of history and she's like set up set up Abraham Lincoln okay so then

Seagull tells Danielle Seagull because at this point she's like tell the bitch to sit down don't tell me the shush and so Seagull basically tells Danielle that she doesn't matter and that's one of Danielle's triggers she does not like being dismissed and so Seagull's Seagull is like you know what know what, you know what, Daniela, you're fucked

up. You're fucked up. And Daniela's like, you bitch, you're a fucking bitch. You probably get curbside and then you don't even use it. You bitch, you're a hypocrite and a fucking liar. And then the best part, Daniela just starts picking up random shenanigans and throwing it back down. There's like water flying, rolls, forks.

She knocks over a chair. Who? You know, then she sort of wet. She sort of, and then when she, she just becomes like this rabid animal and they grab her Theresa grabs her and then she's being pulled out of the restaurant and it's everyone staring.

Danielle just yells, you fucking whore! You fucking whore! And she's like go to jail you loser act like a lady I'm putting that on a shirt and you will get a percentage of the proceeds okay yeah so yeah Danielle's throwing all this stuff look these ladies can hate each other all they want stop hating the bus boys okay it's the bus boys who have to deal with the repercussions of your image. Ernie, all of you, all of you listen to that. Exactly. I also appreciated Dolores's secondary chair flip. I don't know if you

saw that, but she was like, okay, I'm gonna throw a chair also because you know what? I've been in the zoo. I know how they throw chairs in the zoo. Now seals do it with their noses. It's actually quite fascinating. So Danielle is now outside the restaurant. She's still a few minutes. She's actually quite fascinating. So Daniel is now outside the restaurant. She's still a few minutes. She's like, how do you say who I'm fucking Italian? Punta, Punta! She's like yelling it over the entire restaurant. And inside Sigi, you know, in her defense, is still eating her potatoes or whatever,

which I like. She's like, I'm still gonna eat. She's like, I'm not apologizing. You guys have to stick up for me with the Hitler thing. Yeah, she's going to just hold onto that. Yeah. Yeah. So Dolores is saying that Margaret and Danielle are constantly attacking them. And Theresa and Melissa are yet to be empathetic. And that's actually, I feel like a decent point because here

they are complaining that those women are complaining that Sige and Dolores do not defend them in front of Kim D. But the truth is that Theresa and Melissa are not terribly loyal to Sige and Dolores whenever Danielle or Margaret talk shit about them. Yeah, that's true, but you know, Sige and Dolores are kind of on an odd team this year. Sige's doing a lot of stuff, is pissing everybody off.

So it's like, what do you do? Yeah. And so outside Sige goes out there, and Danielle's like trying to throw invisible glasses. She's like trying to take out bricks from the building to throw them. She's going nuts, and Dolores and Sige come out and Sige decides to go nuts and she's like,

what garbage, whatever. And Dolores is like, get over here Sige. You're gonna take a walk with me. You're not gonna let this person get to you She's like, but that's not a lot Listen pretend you're in a zoo. Okay, we're going for a long walk from the elephant cage to the monkey cage, okay? Do we need to go underground through the aquariums because we can do it, okay? Yeah, uh until Tree is telling Mart. Uh, Don't worry. I know you're

not anti-slime Jimmy. I mean, beef is good. It's even dry. Like, why is it bad to love slim jeans? Yeah, stupid. And, uh, and see, you're still going off about like tree won't stand up for me and it is shocking. I'm like, don't you realize that's her whole issue with you? Like, you, I'm sorry, Sige, you're not allowed to pull that argument. I had no issue with Sige and Dolores walking in the fashion show. Sure, it's a little iffy considering the situation, but you can't be like, well, Teresa's crazy for being upset at us just because we did Defender and why she upset that we didn't defend her in front of her face to Kim D

Whatever and then she's basically pulling the same thing that Teresa has been saying, which is like I can't believe that Teresa Do not stand up to to Margaret, etc. So I'm like, oh hypocrisy is happening right now with Ziggy Well, whatever at least is good at something good comes out of it because it really pisses Marjoff So the next day Margaret is just pissed now, okay. She's like, I tried to be nice. You know, see who's this kissing. Like, what more could I do, you know, and I even called Joe, you know, I even sat there and watched Joe trying to hang up on FaceTime. It was hilarious. I'm not gonna lie. You know, it's like, look, I thought we were great. Even though Danielle said it wasn't a genuine makeup and now I believe you Danielle, now I believe you. Yeah.

Prophetic Danielle. Yeah. So Teresa's like, I went and talking about candy and then she started talking about antistimatics. And I'm like, no, no. Antisimistic. Antisimistic. What's it called? Who wouldn't be antisimatic?

No, everybody wants to breathe. They're like, don't even try explaining, you know. So Danielle's like, look, I don't like being dismissed. It's a trigger. And when you dismiss me, I start calling you a whore and a slut in Italian. Like, how has anything Danielle said better? Like, one person said, you're not acting nice.

And she gets a trigger. And I was happy for Danielle because she finally, after all all these years got to call someone else a prostitution whore basically. She's like, I've been waiting for this moment for years. I thought I wasn't going to happen after that whole curbside dilemma, but I finally got to call someone a who. My trigger and then they go into this montage of Danielle being triggered and one of the

scenes is Caroline going you know what you are you're a clown family your whole life is a joke she's like trigger trigger trigger trigger dismissed dismissed I mean even with the school bell rang and they said dismissed I would get triggered and throw a desk at my teacher calm down over there so Sige and Dolores S acting like, you know, at the end of last season, remember when everybody was fighting on that trip, on Jackie and everybody. And Sige's like, I can't get out of bed. I'm gonna wear my robe and cry. So she's doing that whole thing. Yeah, she's very serious. She's sitting there like, I don't think I could look at canals today.

It's just too much. I already have tears going down my cheeks and I want those canals enough. And she also used the word triggered. I was triggered. It's like did someone let the elephant out of the room? Not a triggered now. The elephant's already on his way to Rome. So Melissa, by to visit Dolores and Ziggy and Ziggy is like, Hi, Melissa. Thank you for coming to my Shiva. Like, gosh, like relax, Ziggy is like, you have to get over yourself now, Ziggy. This is enough with this stupidity.

Melissa's like, I booked a canal to where it doesn't that sound fun. No, you know what sounds fun to me right now. stupidity. Melissa's like I booked a canal to where it doesn't sound fun. No, you know what sounds fun to me right now. Nothing and it will never seem fun ever again. Someone, someone left the cake out in the rain. And I don't think that I can take it because I'll never be able to bake it again. Again. Melissa's like oh God, more cake. I'm out of here.

So both Danielle and Sigi have decided they're too depressed to leave. And you know who else decided that? The bus boy who had to work last night. He's like, I'm not leaving my room. Too many of me to borrow pick up on the floor. So basically, Sigi calls Daniels like, I think we should need it. We should have a talk. Let's meet at the terrace. Okay. It's like, I'm really glad the terrace is fine. So then in the van Dolores, the rest of the leaders going on their canals towards Doloresores apologize to Melissa. Like, by the way, I never forgot to finish a apologizing to your stupid face about getting

into your stupid face the other night at that stupid face show. So sorry about that. I got too free tickets to the zoo for you if you want. It was not a proud moment, but I did buy you some popcorn to walk through my neighborhood in the zoo. Okay. So I hope you'll accept that. I'll tell you what's also not a proud moment.

Sitting and watching the husbands gather at a restaurant in Jersey, be like, daughters, am I right? Daughters, just you wait. My daughter is eight. I don't know what's going on. Well, my daughter is 27. Mine is 31.

Let me tell you something about daughters. You can't even lock them up because they're just gonna get out the window with a rope. Oh my God, you see that movie Rapunzel? Oh, it's the story of my life except my daughter had short hair. Oh my goodness. And Gorgas, like, look, it's like the tree, you know, you bend it when it's young because when it's old, it'll, you know, hopefully it'll be bent over all the time.

It's like, you can't bend it no more. So what are you talking about? Stop bending your daughter. You fucking weirdo. He's like women. Am I right? Let's have another drink. Ah, chicks. You can't trust him, but can't live with him. Can't live with Adam. Am I right guys? Yeah We done with our contractually obligated scene yet. All right. Oh, no. Okay. I'll have a pizza pizza. I love pizza Wait a minute. I'm supposed to pay for my own Calamari, huh?

So the tourist trips so now all the girls in Italy are doing their you know touristy things and Melissa's like what's your name? Antonio oh Child bellow oh By Antonio by we love you what's your name a manual? Oh a manual a manual so cute and Teresa's like Yeah, you got hands take off your hat you well? Oh, a man you well. A man you well so cute. And Teresa's like, yeah, cute. You got hands, take off your hat. You're both gross. And Melissa's like, but John, no, senior Rita. You're margis like, I think that's a little Spanish in there. Okay. Now, it's just, you know, Joan would appreciate that. You know,

she's a lot of good comedy, but I think they're probably the talents don't like it very much. I'm most lenient. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. Technically, you're trialing well now. So you're going to talents don't like it very much. I'm a sliny. Oh, I didn't mean to say that That can't be your tri-lingual now. So you're gonna do right here, okay? Yeah So Danielle and Ziggy have their terrace talk and Ziggy is to be fair. Ziggy was good. She came on there and she was like I Apologize from the bottom of my heart. I was so terrible to you and I was so angry I was triggered by the elephant known as mod that was in the room and I took it all out on you and you did not deserve that I should have never this missed you Danielle.

Stop. Danielle's like well you hurt my feelings before but last night young hinged me. Now I'm just a door leaning on a wall. Do I open? Do I close? I don't know what to do. A door is nothing without hinges, okay? I saw red and I don't want to see red again

Hey, how about apologizing for all the drinks you threw like what are these apologies? The worst apologies I've ever seen Yeah, I have an apologizing for starting the pot constantly with Teresa, but also thank you Thank you for doing that I'm super fun. Great job. Yeah, you're doing great job Danielle. I don't know why you're not a full-time cast member So see oh, I do do't know why you're not a full-time cast member. So see, oh, I do. Do you know why she's not? Is there something is there something about a racist ranch? She had yeah She was breaking up with one of her boyfriends or something and went on a racist rant against him and all the ladies were like We don't want to film with her. We don't want to be seen with her

So they tried cutting her out, but you know, she's in everything. Yeah, that's ridiculous. So she gets forgiveness, but Sige is still in her Jerry Springer, like hidden voice behind the sheet. You only see her shadow. She's like, I understand. I'm like, oh my god. I understand.

I brought you have to understand where I'm coming from. I brought Modge to this group with good intentions and she's done nothing but attack me. And Daniel's like, honestly, I don't see that. Now it might be because I'm behind the tour because I'm off my hinges. Like I don't even know what to do right now. Can someone help get this door off me?

Like seriously. And so Sigi goes, her knowing that I had a hysterectomy and then calling me soggy flika. I was blindsided I was like now I'm not gonna try to sound ignorant here, but I don't understand the link between hysterectomy and soggy flicker Is there like a soggyness a lady's sagginess that happens when you have a hysterectomy? She made fun of my lady-ness and then she made fun of Hitler

Yeah, like I don't understand I just don't understand why having hysterectomy like precludes you from being called soggy But unless like soggyness was like sensitivity hashtag general insensitivity towards siggy flick Well, that fit on the hat But I'm but I'm open to being educated on this point because you know, it's like There's I don't know a lot of things. So if you say yeah, no, it's insensitive because like you're called soggy because I don't know your Philopian tube sag or I don't know what I don't know like I'll like tell me but I personally from what I know I don't see why you can't call someone who's had a

Historic to me soggy instead of sicky sicky because it's like wordplay, but please educate me listeners, please. You're the only person in this cast to ask for an education. Sikki, Sikki, because it's like wordplay, but please educate me listeners, please. You're the only person in this cast to ask for an education. So Danielle's like, look, because she's not here and she can't stand up for herself, I would like to manually move this door aside and tell you she has no intentions to demean you. It's a general analogy. Okay, now could she have picked a better analogy? Sure, maybe I mean, I couldn't because you know, I'm not good off the cuff like that. Just don't call me garbage.

I will see red. I'm telling you right now. Well, Danielle was the voice of reason because she was the one who was like, you know what? It would have been better if you just said, don't like the analogy. Pick another. And Danielle's right. Like if that was what like, Sikki just heard Hitler and was like, and Iysamatism, but you really should have been like, you know what, that's a tasteless analogy, like pick another, you know, but Siggy of course would never do that. And Danielle will never just take an apology either.

She's like, you know what, I've heard your apologies and I accept them, but I'm still hurt and it will take me time to get over being called whatever it is you called me last night, which I don't remember, but baby steps. Now you want to hug. Yeah. You want to hug? You ride the wheelchair. Sigg is like, of course I want to hug. Can I call you Michael? Campanella. Michael. God. So over at lunch, Margaret is telling Dolores, or no, Melissa is telling Dolores,

look, there's got to be a way that someone can speak to Siggy like you can speak to her. You just do it for everybody else. And Teresa's like, do you think that she's really anti-smama mack tics? Yeah, Dolores is like, no, I don't think she's anti-smatic, but do I think it was tasteless. It was stupid. It was a dumb ass with stupid pigtails and a stupid face and doesn't know what a zoo is. Yeah, I think that. And it was definitely anti-siggy. Well, thankfully, that's not a hate crime. Okay.

Can we move on? Mother-wrecking mind-wrecker. Marge is like, yeah, well, I am anti-siggy. She called me an anti-siggy. You know, she was, I was trying to make a persuasive comment. It's like, when I told Joan Vivas, hey, guess what? You should buy something in the McBeth, she was, I was trying to make a persuasive comment. It's like, when I told Joan Rivers, hey, guess what? You should buy something in the McBeth collection. Look, read on you.

That's a persuasive comment, that's all. But what you did was you jumped in and you made points about stuff you know nothing of. That was not your place to be making a point. Do you have something to say about my countertops? Now's not the time, but I'll bet you got something to say. Do you? Do you?

I see you ticking. I see you ticking I see you ticking no don't say it she's like I was just trying to say granted is very popular these days what do you want from me like even Joan had it you don't know the history that I have with granted okay you don't know Frank I caught Frank cheating on granted okay he was banging a girl on a granite countertop and every day when I see Frank, he spilled pasta on the granted countertop. You know what I have to think of? How his father bones someone on that very same countertop. And then of course I think about boo, you know,

because I love boo and he died about a year ago. So I stopped and I got rid of that. And then there's Mads. And I think about the paper bags I got from the grocery store and whether I'm going to recycle them or use them for something else interesting. I don't know. Frank took me for granted and that's none of your business, okay? Marge is like wait a minute

So Delores is like I would have been upset too and I would have said the same thing that she did and Marge goes You know, I just I know your nature. I don't believe it's in your nature to act like that I just don't believe it and she goes now you're getting me with this now you're getting me, okay? Okay, what are you looking at Teresa for what are you looking at me. Okay. Okay. What are you looking at Teresa for? What are you looking at her for? She's like, I'm just looking at Teresa to see if she's like hearing the same thing I am because like I don't even know what's going on right now. Like seriously, it's like berserk. Okay. It's like, it's like, I'm out.

Do I'm out? She's like, you know, they're just nuts going to get back together well because they're just like oil and vinegar. Two things that never go well together. It was a gift to Melissa because she got to feel smart. She was like, oh, Theresa, oil and vinegar go to well, very, go together very well. Thank, and what is it then? Now can we just like stop talking about this

because I'm very hungry and angry and I think I'm gonna get hungry soon. Okay, guys. You don't want to see me hungry, angered. All right, we're not putting that on a makeup back, but we'll keep working on it. So, Siggie's on the phone with Michael Campanella and he's like, I think you gotta take some of your advice and just like leave a toxic

situation. You got to come home. I got to come home. And you got to leave that most Alini country. Oh my God, even you Michael Campanella, even you. You got to cut the cancer out. Okay, that's an odd way to put it. And he's like, I'm emotionally drained. I'm done. That's it. And he's like, if you won't stop it, I'm going to have to. He's going to fly to Italy. Okay, once you get there, please clean the wine off the walls.

That's all I ask. Like, please make America look slightly more polite than we did this episode. Yes. And so that was pretty much it for this Italian episode. What a great episode. What a great season for New Jersey. I'm so happy that it's rebounding so well. I hope people are watching it because we are loving it. And by the way, as promised, as hoped for our ticket link for the Golden Crappies arrived while we were recording this episode, which means that these tickets will be on sale by the time this show goes live Watch what crap is calm by the way is where she got the links to all the tickets and the merch as you were about to say yes merch is back. We've got wine glass glasses stocked and

pint glasses will be in in a couple of days and coffee mugs to go get them. Yeah. Everyone, we love you so much. Thanks for all you do for us. Thank you for being here. We will be back tomorrow with Tulp Shiff. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Hi everyone. Hi, everybody. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.