Watch What Crappens - RHONJ: The Grudgeatelli Pasta Station

Episode Date: January 5, 2018

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are close to the end of the season. What better way to start your goodbye than a good ole fashioned grudge in a second rate pasta shop? This week's bonus is a recap of our Holiday Vacations. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

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There's a whole new pack of hose to mock and here I am with my gorgeous and talented little bestie Ben Mandelker of the Beside blog and the parents of blinda. Hello, Bing. Hello, Ronnie. How are you? I just flew in from pass Just kidding. I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I started with some sort of Perth Tom Foulery. I guess I want people to think I'm a jet-center. But I'm a man of this world flying around, flying around, places like past. I was spending my first week of the new year getting as many dominoes points as I can't.

I had the same domino delivery guy yesterday as I did on New Year's Eve and he was looking at me like really. You're like doing the opposite of what most people do on New Year's. I've been killing it with my New Year's resolutions. For instance, I resolved Eat Healthy and this morning I had a breakfast burrito at Farm Boy Kitchen and It's done the resolution's done Yeah, I think it's good to fail early, you know, give the disappointment over with just start drinking again You know, I don't exactly who wants to live in a house without alcohol and pizza not ice

No exactly. Yeah, so um, yeah, I'm off the wagon and it feels great. Who needs a wagon? Hey, who need in 2017 who needs a wagon? How about like a truck? Yeah, you know what? Don't get a wagon. Get a car or a plane so you can come see us on tour We're going to be playing someplace new every month. It's nuts. We're going all over the damn country this this time Boston's coming up, that's coming up at the end of January, then we've got Chicago, New York. A lot of ones, I don't know if we've any DC. DC.

DC. They're gonna be amazing. Houston, Houston, we still have, there's still plenty of tickets at Houston, but like it's definitely, and that's not until March. So there's no real rush necessarily, but we are, we are, I think about three quarters sold out at it. It's used to know. We've got like a hundred something left. So get those tickets and to

get all those ticket links, just go to watchwitcrapants.com. That's also where you can go to get merch links, t-shirts, wine glasses, pint glasses, glasses glasses, glasses, glasses, just glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses,

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glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses, glasses glasses, glasses stuff which all our bonuses and all our extras are all on Patreon. So go over there. Our bonus this week was talking about our week off and Kind of catching up and stuff and some movie reviews. So go check that out. And I think that's it for the shills Well, I just want to say one thing which is that I just put in an order for a new batch of crap in poetry Which is like magnetic poetry essentially You put on your fridge except except all the poetry, all the words are pertained to our podcast or inside jokes, et cetera. We've been selling them at the live shows.

We don't sell them online. We just sell them only at the live shows. We are running out of the first batch. I've just put in an order realistically. It's probably not going to come into after the Boston show. So we're bringing what we have left to Boston. So people who are going to be going to the show on the 18th, if they buy all our magnet inventory

chances are that people on the 20th, it will not be there. So I'm saying that as a fitting factor. I'm saying that as a motivating factor to buy tickets at the 18th I'm not saying it to cast the call. Thanks for killing Tinkerbell right at the beginning of the show band. Hey My New Year's resolution keep Tinkerbell alive get it over with immediately. No, I'm just being realistic Okay, I'm leveling with you. Okay. This is class much. Okay. I don't I don't have relationships people in block Okay, so I just what I have for you though, it's some magnetic poetry. And hopefully, there'll be some left for the 20th, but there's realistically a chance that

it'll all go away on the agenda. Okay. Hopefully the, the, the, the, the factories in Italy can get it out in the right price. But like, what do I know? What do I care? You know who doesn't care? Joe. Joe, Joe wouldn't care. Okay. Yeah. Now, I'm just being very transparent. I'm being transparent with the audience. I don't want people to show up on the twenth and be like, oh my god, why didn't you bring the poetry to Boston? We are bringing the poetry to Boston, but I think there's I have a box right here. I think it has about 60, 60 of them. So. All right. Well, get over there. That's going to be fun. Boston. Two degrees. Can't wait. I know. Okay. I'm not so many coats from the old Navy. I'm going to look like just a discount rack in general. I'm just going to wear so many layers of like cheap

clothes. I'm Michael is to show up in Boston and be like 10 layers deep and still not cost over $100. All right, so today is real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah, they're continuing their, they're, oh, the penultimate. Yeah, and they're continuing their season long tradition of having like Cassio Keyboard, Louis Armstrong, music playing throughout the thing. It's that life's like, like Melissa's on a ranger over who cares? Why are you playing this music? Yeah, also maintaining their season long tradition of having events at this pizza ria.

Like every week it's another party at the pizza ria. Yeah, every week, Joe has to ask someone, did you believe that was a wall? Did you believe that's a brick wall? It's classic. Crazy, right? Crazy. So the episode opens up, they don't even do different like flashes and pops and where, what different women are doing. They just opens up with Melissa at Envy with her,

um, with her worker, Alyssa spelled with two L's. So it's all L uh, two L's, two S's, a Y, which is, feels like two letters to me. I am. All I said, baby. letters to me. I am. I said baby. She has two of every letter except for why. Why? See, when you ask the question, it's the second why. But is all is it in? Is all is it in? That's my question. So we start with what we all love doing, opening bills. Melissa doesn't even go to this store. She's like, hi, oh, this bill. Some good cheese. So she opens her package from Italy. She's ordered one little tiny backpack. One bag. She's got this big rumpled box.

You know, don't you hate that when a box comes up all at rumble? She gets this rumpled box. She's like, it's here. And it's just one little bag. Yeah, I was like Teresa trying to figure out how to rip off this purse. She's just like punching the box. Also got was a purse. She's selling for $30. So Joe comes in and he's like, you, which I don't know why you said that, but I agree. I agree with Jeff. And he's like, you went all the way to Malafa that. I would like to think this show for giving me

a brand new style of writing notes, because I write phonetically. I wrote, went all the way to Malone for that. You could have possibly done that in a Creole accent, I think, based on the phonetics or even Jamaican. Or I was taught away to Malone for that. Mine. You'll all the way end all the way to...

I don't even know what that is. That's just gonna be my new mate upon me. You'll only end all the way to there. That's actually almost Swedish, I think. That's eyelesses. That's all ISIS. She's all ISISes. The width of the ISISes.

All ISISes say, oh, you'll end all the way to that. Y'all, did you speak to my friend, Dagmar? So Melissa tells us, we got into an argument about me putting in time to this restaurant, you know, and he's like, I needed help! Then Melissa goes, going to Italy made me realize, I don't love serving food. You were serving, you were serving food at a strip club on the Jersey shore. And this is what made you realize you don't love serving food. I think it was watching Daniel Sob just terrorized entire restaurants that made her remember why she does not like being a waitress.

It's like getting glass shards in her ear bounced off that brick wall a few weeks ago. She's like, my real passion is squeezing rich fat people into size zero, okay? My real passion is taking casual bike rides along the canal Joe's like but look I got 15 different pizzas and a pasta station Wow, you sound like a regular CCC pizza. To be fair, it is a lot of work because his post-station is literally a station where pasta arrives by train. It's like it comes out with little hannamonical like we have arrived.

Little pastas. People are checking that they're with coke mirrors like I'm to silly. There was a terrorist threat at the post station so they have up security there are a lot of barriers now you can't park very close to it oh terri moor Icononi has is is often a target I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love their world. I'm listening to you. I'm listening to see if I hear any typing coming from your side seeing if you're googling types of pasta No, no, I have them in my brain. Oh, no, that was me. Sorry Feta chini They don't like Mrs. Feta chini. She's a gossip. No one wants to sit next to her on the train When she goes and she's always talking loudly in the quiet cabin wants to sit next to her on the train, when she goes and she's always talking loudly in the quiet cabin. Ravioli's so fat. Everyone's like, of course he's the middle seat. Of course it's fucking Ravioli.

But everyone wants to get with Pennay. Yeah, I know. Biggest hole on the thing. Biggest hole on the train is still everybody wants a piece. Well, better than that busy body, Mrs. Tortellini. She's always in the way. Yeah, she's always standing up. She's always talking about law, tort law. They're like, oh, she's so smart. She's so on the nose. She's like, I knew I was born to be a tort lawyer.

Liz, I'm a tortellini. Liz, the asshole is on you. It's like leaning back too far in her seat. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh is Rigatoni, okay? That's the hard one. Well, I'll tell you it doesn't fall for Rigatoni. Tagliatelle, ever since she gave him $1,000, so I launched his quote unquote business and never got any money back. She just tells everyone, she's like,

oh, you don't mess with Rigatoni, okay? Yeah, Tagliatelle is like, I've lost so much money. Let's play tag. Don't stop putting that different. We know it's like really a little high in mighty and everyone's like, like every time she starts talking and she's like, you know, try this new thing. It's really all like this yoga angel hair. It's like, it's like she thinks she's so great but she's really just got stringy hair.

Okay. She was like popular in high school and she's just like coosing off that. And so she's like, always just like chattering about something off that. And so she's like always just like chattering about something stupid. And you're like, I just wanna hang out with wagon wheel. Wagon wheels are when he always brings their dog. It's like, oh, this is not an emotional support animal. And then they're the shell sisters, small meeting in large.

It's like, they just only talk with themselves. They're like, did someone fart on this plane? Now that's just Vermicelli over there. Well, she's from a different country. She believes in different things. All right, well thank you for listening to Watch What Crappings. We just told a very evocative story about the various pasta patrons on the pasta train that arrives in those pasta. The real vermicelli. Vermicelli's the one who gets murdered. It's a corner.

We don't trust her. Oh my god. The real pasta station of New Jersey. By the way, for a typical train, there's a lot of acrimony on our pasta train. Like normally it's just people sitting reading newspapers, but here they all have issues. They're like mad at each other, like annoyed. They're all rolling at each other's eyes. Like who is role-putting their lasagna, putting their seat back too far?

Oh, hold on, I have to look at the names of the guys. Not sharing that. Well, the... Well, Ravioli is the fat one one who takes up too much time. And then, yeah, we don't need to go back. We don't need to go back, guys. Oh, LaZonya. LaZonya was playing with LaZonya.

What about, what do you, Manacotti? Do we have any thoughts on what Manacotti is doing? Manacotti is Joe. He's like, on the man, you can't quit the restaurant. We're the team. We focused together. You didn't tell her you were even buying that restaurant, sir. You can't just you can't just buy a football and then tell people on the random sidewalk that they're on your team now. Okay.

I didn't even realize that you had transitioned back into the show. I was thinking that on the train, Manacotti was making this complaint. And I was about to tell the time. I was like, well, you should hear what ZD has. I was like, oh, we're actually back to the recap. Okay. All right. You'll just have to wait to hear what ZD does. So yeah, this relationship is over. It's the point. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's no, it pissed me. That actually really annoyed me that he's like, oh, man, like it's not fair. She only wants to focus on envy. I'm like, that was her job. That was her very well-sated pet project

and you bought a restaurant without even telling her and now she just expected to just drop that to help you. No, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, welcome, welcome to Equal Rights Joe, although I don't think New Jersey's really caught up to that yet in general, but this little pasta shop and this little MV store. This is when equal rights comes to New Jersey equal rights told through pasta

Well, it's a great lesson to show that whether a man or a woman um your business can fail equally Oh, yeah, you could you could suck You could suck with a penis or without a penis Oh yeah, you could suck with the penis or without a penis. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, you can always have a terrible business idea. No matter if you're black or white. So, I'm like, I'm a black woman.

That whole song. Yeah, that's actually his song was actually really supposed to be a warning to bickering couples in New Jersey. Yes. So next up is much. Hey girl. Nice. Nice. Me.

It's me. It's my just watching back. I'm back. I'm back. You won't believe this. I'm back. I'm back. You know, it didn't quite work out with the factory. I couldn't.

I couldn't switch the gay bag. The gay guy took me. You know, we didn't get much done. We went to a factory, but the gay guy didn't leave his boyfriend for me. Sigi called me and that guy said, I might listen. I'm not someone who holds a crush. I see you're at the pasta station. I say hi.

You know, it's just so crazy in Italy. Like, you know, I like, she'd call me an anti-Semite. I'm like, what are we talking about an anti-Semite? Like all my friends are Jewish. I raised Jewish children. They don't talk to me anymore, but it's not because I'm an anti-Semite.

It's because I'm an anti, you know, faithfulness, light lady. You know, that's what, you should have that one. That was for Joan. That was, I'm workshopping that one. It's not quite where it needs to be, but like, give it another like week or so, be unfashionable, at least. That shows to a lot. I'm not quite where it needs to be, but give it another week or so, be unfashionable, that shows a lot.

I'm not sure if it is. Anyway, I took my pigtails out because I'm so angry. Anywho, what's going on with you British Jersey girl? The system's like, where are we going? Some good luggage. She's still like a busy girl in Christmas story. Not a Christmas story. What am I trying to say with Scrooge? Christmas. Charles Dickens Scrooge. Christmas story. Not a Christmas story. What am I trying to say with Scrooge?

Christmas. Charles Dickens Scrooge. Christmas Carol. Yeah, a Christmas Carol. Yeah, she's like Carol. Christmas Carol. What do you say? This Carol. You have a not only to spend with the babies. All right, let me tell you something about the Ghost of Christmas past present and future. Okay, they all want to be dressed. Okay, so I got them some Macbeth collection. Okay, I call it the Christmas Macbeth collection. Okay, it's like chains with glitter on them. It's wonderful.

I love it. Anyway, that's pretty much, she's like, because what we're getting, gold glitter luggage. Okay, you're going to find that on the luggage, the luggage carousel. Okay. So they have a full end line for Walmart. And she's like laundry handpills, wash be out. You know, getting all for Christmas to spend with my baby. Just like now. Sorry. Call me strange now. Oh, and guess what girls, we're still gonna do the gala.

We're gonna do the gal. Oh, the galah. I think that's how she said it. We've been doing galah. Studio 54 galah. It's gonna be what I already told Margo, like Margo down the street, heat up your ovens because you know what, mindset doesn't work. No, it's crazy. I got Shashana waiting my backups. Shashana's doing it. Jody number one, Jody number two. They're all getting their ovens ready. Because there'll be so many, there'll be so many little hot dogs coming out of those ovens. It's like you can't even, you can't even just rely on Margo. I'm all about the dancing girls. I'm all about the dancing girls and all about the dancing classic match. All right,

we're going to do that. We're going to do the Scrooge McDuck and the classic marger, right? So that's it. So, so Marv starts walking around her property showing where she gets it up, her whole, her whole gala and everything. She's like, Joe, you got to clean this up. I mean, it's everywhere. It's like it's ridiculous. It's like it's too much already. I was like, I won't, if I'm going to have confetti on the floor as I can have an interview at gas, can you get gas canisters? What's going on here? I don't know what's going on. But I like how her building on her house on the outside looks like a civic building from 1983. Like it reminds me of like the libraries I went to in my town. Yes. It reminds me my papa was like

this and everyone thought why are there gas cans everywhere? I mean, we know you have a gas station, but why are there like gas cans all over the garage? It's weird. Right? Yeah, there were a lot. There were, it was like, is there a lowkey arson operation happening here? Yeah. Who are you planning to take out next? I think this is evidence. It's like when they shot in, when they shot Fadre for the first time and she's handing someone cash in the parking lot. Like that can't be wise. Yeah, that doesn't seem wise. But either way, they are then harassed

by a bunch of bumblebees or carpenter bees. Couldn't really tell, that just so that they were hefty. And they're like, oh, the bees, the bees, and the British Jersey, and goes, hey, think some of Fleewa.

So Trees getting makeup from her stylist and the stylists is like, oh, what's this even for a new book? I love that What do you think it's for there's like big pic? There's like books everywhere What the fuck do you think you're here for I love that the stylist don't even ask? Yeah Yeah, that that that was, I appreciated by the way the guy in the oversized hat that made Farell's look to Mure. Did you notice that at the giant like- Like the, he's like- 30% down. Was it the same guy who was dressed as some sort of like gay soldier coming back

from Civil War? Oh, I don't know. Since Brian Moirlin came on real housewives of Beverly Hills, I picture everyone as Brian Moirlin now. Like those every time, like, you mentioned that shot in the book when he's wearing that, I think Brian Moirlin could pull off that look that like Oh, he definitely got the 30s or whatever. So now he's like every crazy styled gay crazy styled gay on housewives in my mind is

bright and white like that makes me love every one of them I'm like he's pulling it off good for him hey how many gallons does that have hold buddy so syge comes in and she's like So Ziggy comes in and she's like Hello, hello photo shoot. She's always just been shot in the side It's like no no trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night for a glass of water Hello, hello, this is my best friend of photographer. This is my best friend. The makeup lady. This is my best friend that's a hat. I'm a friend with a hat. Oh my god Is that the camera? My best friend. So she's like, how many times you have before the book comes out? She's like, it depends on when series is done finishing it. And she's like, oh, you got time. It'll definitely be number one. Every number one I hear is selling very well at the pasta station. It's a book about tree

with the tree pose and papers made with trees. It's bound to be a number one. So, this is like, yeah, my great. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you all know. Breaking news, breaking news story. I watch what crap is. Oh, my God, I can't believe there is another breaking news thing. I mean, we already had some breaking news this week. So apparently there's a press conference

going on yet again. Do we want to do what I'm listening? Everybody, hello, it's me, Siky Flicka. Hello, Fox. Hello, Fox and friends. Hello, Wolf. Hello, hello, people of America who are all tuning in. I can't believe this press conference is having 100 million of my very best friends listening to it at this moment. You might have read last week when it wasn't breaking news at all, that I quit the real housewives of New Jersey, but they had it in it, They had it in my words. Now they're trying to pretend that the SIGGY CROSS NEVER happened. But I won't have it. I have no patience for the deniers. This is the truth. I, Sigloflika, am. Real housewives of New Jersey law.

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of WonderZnew Podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin

and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.

I am grateful to Bravo for allowing me the opportunity. This year the job has taken a significant toll on my health and a cost-rement distress on me and my family because of the hostile working environment created by Sirens production. I cannot comprehend why sirens production felt the need to distort the truth to the point it is no longer true. False narratives have no place in reality TV. Question question question question question question question. Have you ever watched, have you ever watched reality TV before? Like seriously, what's the true narrative? Like what, you think people want to wake up and watch you poop in the morning?

That would be true. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. Raise your hands, Fox and friends. See, Fox and friends, what raise their hands for that? The only narrative I watch is Joshua in the morning, jerking off his little teenage penis because that little teenage penis came out of my cookie and I'm so proud of him for understanding what his

penis could do. It makes me cry. Question, question, question okay? The question okay? Yes, you hope that they have with the crazy eyes. I love cookies, okay? And when you mention cookies right now, here's the way I do it. I order one chocolate chip and then I order one sugar cookie and then I order one walnut cookie So all the guys around me see that I've got plenty of cookies But I never eat any of them because I want to stay thin. I don't even look my age. Do I? Ramona, I think what you were doing is wonderful and if it makes you happy, I hope you share how you feel With Avery because she deserves to know how you feel about your cookies

Just the way I tell Joshua every day that he came out of my cookie Okay, well unfortunately this news conference is coming to an end We'll have to find out later how the rest of this ends. mean, oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure we'll be going on. Yeah, I'm sure we'll be going on. We'll check in later Yeah, it's a really good idea. Yeah, we'll come back to that so anyway talking about Joe and whatever and she's like look Yes, I'm still mad at Margaret because I don't think it easily but life is short Let's move forward. I would get a re-cake But you monsters would probably disrespect a baker and throw it across the room

It's someone starting your car I don't know we've had a week off and my voices are completely out of control She's basically Barney rebel being put through a woodshipper. Very slowly. Friend, friend, friend, friend, don't fret, don't fret. Barney, Barney Rebel stars in Fargo. So then, yeah, it's just like photo shoot, Trey does the Trey pose. And then we go over to Dolores and her clan.

As they're in a car, she's in the car with the Franks, Franky in the front, Franky in the back, they're taking Franky on a college tour and he wants to have an aggressive finance program. That's what he's looking for. So they go to Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut and Laura's like, Matt, you know, I don't know if I'm ready for an empty nest It's like it's still too soon. You know Frank, he's moving out my daughter. She's going to veterinary school boo Boo's not even there anymore boo died a year and a half ago and I got my new cabinets by a mistake the old cabinets and math

He doesn't even call him more in Frank. You know what happens when he goes to home Depot I'm a home alone looking at empty chairs chairs that don't even stand up properly because they didn't finish making them I don't know what What am I supposed to do? I'm going to come home to this beautiful kitchen with no pasta shells just lying all over the countertops. Like seriously, what am I supposed to do with that, Frank? It's sad. It's sad, you know, kind of I kind of like having them around. I mean, you know, it's going to be hard having him go to Sacred Heart because he, you know, it kind of is my sacred heart. But you know what though? I wish you would go to you zoo university because

I've been to the zoo before, and I think he would fit in well. Frank's like, look at us. We like the Griswolds. No, you're not. Well, you're nothing like the Griswolds, okay? Where the Griswolds is in swingers. Maybe, maybe we just never saw that one.

So Franky is walking around sacred heart. And it's hilarious because he's wearing this like ribbed shirt with a leather jacket. He basically looks like he's there to kill someone. He's just going to he's going to like put out a hit on someone there. Pretty much. He'll probably kill his first girlfriend from protein shake parts. I mean, those are bad. Those are really bad. Those are really bad. I also appreciate that the college campus looked like the backyard of Marjor's house. It's like civic architecture. It's like, wait a minute. There's another one of those work out machines you buy in the middle of the night on TV.

You're like just pull down the pipes, just pull the bow flex. It's like as old as the Dead Sea Scrolls. So Dolores, I like how Dolores phrases it because she goes, I looked around the empty house and I felt a sense of emptiness. Because it was empty. Yeah. I was looking down the hallway, it was dark and I was like, wow, what a dark place I'm in. This woman probably has a breakdown every time she finishes a cereal box. But you know what though, that's what life's all about. You go, this story, you guys have another cereal box. You know, that's what I did. Although I can't ever replace boo, but you know, boo that's what life's all about. You got this or you guys stuff another cereal box. You know, that's what I did.

Although I can't ever replace boo, but you know, boo is boo. You special. Frank's like, but now it's just going to be me and you in the house. What's that look like? Looks like you with a swiffer. What else do you think? Yeah, I don't think that's changed as Frank, okay? Yeah, it's exactly the same.

So they're like, they're looking at dorms and Dolores just starts to cry There's just something about cramped quarters with stinky socks that make a little bit will make a lady cry every time and guys In Jersey especially because they're like men men we're real man He's like this is like a hotel is it is it really? It's like butt crack and crayon balls. How could you say what hotels you staying at Frank? There's diarrhea on the wall on the wall the wall Frank He's like a hey your mom's oh Frank. He's like mom's gonna cry and the two are guys like yeah That's just part of the tours the mom's cries. Dan and a corner. Let's watch. Let's watch

Looks good. It looks good right you want. Right. You want to sign up? You want to sign up? So over at Margaret's house, Jan is over and don't worry. Yes, if yeah, Jan Joseph is not one of the neighbors with the working oven. It's the ex husband. Yeah. Jan, you want some coffee? I got an espresso machine. He's like, oh, you're talking to me? I was supposed to who else, Jan. So you get that? That was, I learned that sort of clap back from Joan. She's very good with it. You know as opposed to who else all right. Can we talk? Okay, I know you're always talking to yourself. So what am I supposed to talk to myself? What am I miss is have a sham up in a castle right now?

What is a little Dickensian humor for you Jan? Do you ever read the guns you ever read that great expectations? Guess what you know last one great expectations are kids of me and guess what I failed them I know what I'm sorry about that, but I'm not sorry, because here's some espresso. Here's the thing. Why have a share when you could have a bagel? That's what I always say. Look, your major choice. It killed my kids. So that speaks you again. What can you do? Do you have any flavoured cream cheese? Do I have to do everything myself? Listen, you know what, I accept I did what I take full responsibility for what I did.

I get it, it's classic march, but it was not a very classy thing to do. It wasn't classy march, it's classic march, that's it. But you know what, there's still my kids, I raised them for when I was 24, and now I only raised classic march senior, and it's just not the same. And I missed them a lot, you think they'd ever get back to me? It's like no. He's like, yeah, did I say I don't give a shit, I resent what you did, but I don't hold it against you.

Now the fact that you don't got any blueberry cream cheese for that. You've got another 10 years of silence for my children. I kind of feel like if this guy is going to be chummy with Marge, he should basically tell us kids, listen, I know you're mad, but you got to get over it. You know, like don't it just seems weird that he's so passive in this situation or what seems to be passive. I'm sorry. I think that he should, it's either, it's either like fully, you know, cut the cord or, or, you know, just say, listen, kids, like if you're , if you're being a friend to her, if you guys are friends, right, you don't want to see

your friend crying and agony because the kids won't talk to her. You'd, so it's like, just say listen, kids. Yeah, but she's going through their own shit. It's like this woman comes in. She's like, your first mother left you. Now it's me taking care of you. I'm like, Joan, now you have a new mother and a new sister named Melissa. Okay. We're both going to have funny faces, but they're going to make you laugh every

morning. And now we're leaving to whatever coming back. So it's like their own thing that they have to deal with, you know, and he's just like, I just want somebody bagels with. And she goes, well, when you see the kids, listen, Jim, when you see the kids, just tell them I'm designing great shoes for their budget. Okay. My whole golden life is to see them in decent shoes. Could you tell them that, Jim? He's like, no, I forgot already. The only reason why I'm even doing this entire, this entire classic

match dress life is because I just want to get into Ross. I want them to see my face. I just want them to see me in some certain way. There's a weird way where I kind of feel like this shoe that I'm making from Italy I sort of feel like the shoes gonna talk to them and that's all I just want to talk to them to my shoe That's it. I just want the out-down spot. Could you tell them that, Jan? Could you just tell them out-down spot out-down spot? Can you tell them that's how I feel Joe? I mean, it's how I feel, Jan. But you know, I mean I have a question. So you know, Marge was like, listen field Sam. But, you know, I mean, I have a question. So, you know, Marge was like, listen, I get it, you know, they went through a lot, you know, the first, the first mom didn't want to live with them.

And then I, I do, I did what I did, you know, they have to like, their dad with, the two women who divorced their dad, I get it. I'm like, I feel like maybe we should be examining what's the situation with Jan, you know? Wow. This is now, to,, to row for him. Yeah, I don't know, but I, you know, usually the husbands get dragged into this show one way or another. And since he's showing up to, to a film, he'll probably find out

year by year what the real story is there. Cause he's like, when we were together, we were the pickincens. You know, what better in small doses? Do you want to express out? Do you want to bake? Or do you want cream cheese? What's with the kids? I feel like he's probably a little older and he's just like And you know a construction workers more exciting the contractors more exciting, you know, yeah, then I know whatever Jan does What do I know about marriage? I don't have one. Yeah, what do we know about Jan? What do we know about Jan's?

Okay, she's like a middle sister. No one believes anything she said no one believed that she had a boyfriend You know okay, Jan okay, Jan Do you think his full name is Janet because that would be amazing? Damn it Janet. I love you My ex has his name is Janet, which is crazy because it's the woman's name, but he's a man And it's like just classic match right and they have to marry someone who has a who has a lady name But she's really a man. I mean like I told Joan that she just like cracked up She's left for hours now. I was like getting you hilarious. You're really everything I say is hilarious because they

I just want to press Joan so I'm like if I marry somebody Jan to sense a Joan and so that way It's like a Jan Joan situation and that was that make me Joan also. I might be saying I'm Joan I'm Joan of park. Okay. I've always thought going to the park, you know, that's what God speaks to me. So Dolores and Frank are on a dog walk and she's like, oh my God, Frank, do not let this dog walk like that in the street. She's hurt. She's hurt. You know, don't drag a go-slow.

She's like, relax. Relax. Relax. Relax, Laura. Relax. Come on down, Laura. She's like, look, that house is for sale, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax you know, Frank, you know, it's like I always say he fixes everything. He helps with the dog because he's good company. It's kind of nice. Okay, we know you're fucking Frank.

It's actually we know you're fucking Frank at this point. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I always say my divorce to save my marriage. Get it? No, you have been to zoo, huh? No. You haven't been to the this part of the zoo. All right, we have we marry people by divorcing them.

So basically when we got divorced, he gave me as all your past to the zoo. So I could go there all the time and I was so happy it kind of saved our marriage. He couldn't handle Callick or the mucky cage. He loves a lion though. Lying down. He gets very long by the picnic of Marmos sets though. He loves a lion though Lion down Yeah, keep him away from that So Teresa calls Melissa while she's on her way to Danielle's house and she's like

This is this is this is after her kids call like this. She has like mom I'm trying to find the invitation and I'm addressing Melania's like I can't find my folder and doesn't she just hang up on them I'm like well sorry so anyway yes so that only one child I only want to be responsible for one child's crying right now. Okay. Yeah. So she's on her way to Danielle. She's like, remember the retreats? She says she's harboring a moon. I want to free the moon. I'm a listen. She said she was harboring a wound. Wow. Who harbors wounds? Do they do terraced stuff?

So, um, so tree winds up that she goes to Danielle's house. Um, and, uh, you know, my friend, uh, my friend, John made a comment online that I feel like was very, very sharp comment, which was, uh, why does Daniel have a half painted crate on its standing on its end full of peri-a bottles. Oh, was that her? I thought that was in the, oh, was that the Teresa scene at her house? Yeah, that's the next scene, isn't it? Oh, I thought it was when she was getting

her makeup done or something, because someone else said there's, in the last scene, it was a crate full of wine bottles or something, when Joe was at home, it was a crate of wine bottles. Is this like a jersey thing to take crates, put them on their side and stuff bottles in them? Girl, it's a jersey, it's just like a Jersey thing to take crates, put them on their side and stuff, bottles in them.

Girl, it's a Jersey. It's a real housewives thing to go to Rostress for less and figure out how to use anything from the home section as whatever you can in your home. Because that's totally one of those like white washwood crates. You can get letters in here or blankets.

I know it's up to you, Dress for less shoppers. Just please don't throw it on the floor. Okay, if you're not going to gonna buy it put it back on the shelf I Think you I think you might be right cuz I saw a display like that at IKEA recently and I was like hmm This could be cute and I'm like I'm so glad I didn't do that Also, it's just like lukewarm peri-a you know, so she's like oh yeah, yeah So she's like, we got to the bottom of that. Yeah. She's like, um, wait, oh, Melissa's like, just take accountability for what you did. It's going to be good for

both of you. Good luck. Um, I'll be over here if you need me not waiting on any tables. Okay. Yeah. So she gets to Danielle's house and, um, she's like And she's got jeans camel toe. Yeah, so there you go I can't believe I got I got to talk to this stupid little girls is okay fine I got to it rehabbing three for the tree pose book. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's do it. Let's do it over now so um so Danielle's like Now tree okay, so So Danielle's like, now tree. Okay, so Christine isn't willing to talk about it.

Yeah, she's been through a lot. But Jillian, can we listen? But just when she wants to talk, you gotta let her talk. She gotta can't dismiss her. We stop. Don't like to be a don't dismiss me. And she starts already just like ransacking her kitchen. Yeah, do yourself a favor. Don't call her garbage.

Don't mention garbage. Don't ask her where we keep the garbage. If you have something to throw away, keep it in front of you until the conversation is over. Okay. And then Danielle, then Danielle says in her, in her interview, she goes, can the universe erase prostitution, or from memory cells? I'm like, I'm just, I feel like a Socrates asked that once. Can they erase pictures from TMZ of you working at scores right after that, bitch? Please. Well, that was the actor for that was that that was the that was the that was the manifestation of her trauma clearly.

No, yes, it was all traumatic, which is why she went on a racist rant and fuck somebody in a bathroom next week. Okay. So, kid is the kid is beautiful Jillian she looks like that actress who's always playing a basketball house. Oh, I was gonna say from From Harry Potter Oh, I think that she looks like what's her face who is on house and then once upon a time Yeah, she does look kind of like her. Yeah. That girl with

whatever. She has. Oh, she had a long haircut on, on house, but maybe it's short now for once upon a time. Cause I don't actually watch once upon a time. I just know that she was on it. Or is, I know, she's still on it or not. Do you know how many people have been in Harry Potter, like a million people? Okay. Yeah. When you said like that girl in Harry Potter, I'm like, I don't know, is there someone named Gwendolyn on there? And she talked like this, she has a little voice like this.

I know people are going crazy in their car right now, and I'm so sorry. I feel like the girl, the actress that I'm thinking of, I feel like her name is Jennifer Morrison. Yeah. I'm gonna look it up right now. Pardon me. I'm so glad people tuned in for this. Listening to us.

Listening to us. Google shit. It's not hell in a bottom card that I'm thinking. Jennifer Morrison. I was right. Are you thinking about your. Oh, she was in Vera something another. She was the God. Who cares who cares?

Drop it. Everybody. I want to work it up. Vera. I don't remember what the. I don't remember what the movie was called. Sorry. Just okay. Well, wasn't there a movie? No, there was a British. Vera, I don't remember what the movie was called. Sorry.

Okay, well, wasn't there a movie called Vera? There was a British lady, are you talking about that little British lady in Harry Potter, sort of like middle-aged, the older? No, she's got like big old jaw bones like this girl, like Jillian. The old fricals.

Maggie, oh my God, we're making people fucking crazy right now. Is it Maggie? Is it Maggie? What's her face? It's the one she was the little. Well, she was the ghost in the bathroom. Maggie Smith. Oh, Maggie Smith was like, gonnigoll or something.

Harry Potter. I don't know. Girl in bathroom. I'm going to write. you know what I do love I you know cuz Maggie Smith is always playing people from like 1800 something another and I love looking at the the modern photos of her And she's got her stuff like sassy sassy copper-toned hair going and I'm like I like Maggie's and it's just being like I'm sassy on the weekends I like it Kelly McDonald, let me see if this is her. Oh,

Kelly McDonald. No, she doesn't look like her. Come on. McDonald's in. Surely has no sense. Let me see. Shelly. Shelly Henderson. That's definitely not Kelly McDonald. She was in no country for old men, amongst many other things. Shirley Henderson. Just give me the pictures. God. Yes. Shirley Henderson. Shirley Henderson. Look her up. This is who she looks like to me. Shirley Henderson just give me the pictures. God, yes, Shirley Henderson. Yes, Shirley Henderson. Look her up. This is who she looks like to me. Shirley Henderson, everybody. We did it. It only took us 10 minutes.

Wait, Shirley Henderson. Yes. And I'm looking, oh, can we hold on? Image search. Oh, yeah. She looks just like her to me. I mean, these are some busted images on image search. But anyway, so glad I got that out.

Moning Mertle. Yeah, Moning Mertle. Yeah. Okay, well, that's. And she can't fight this. Oh, so the main question that Moning Mertle wants to know is, can the universe erase prostitution or all from memory cells? That was, I believe believe a Danielle stop question. That was her existential question Either way, so tree was like so when I was in

jail, which I was like hey look at least she's calling it jail now and not campuses I know but she's probably talking about actual camp Yeah, she's just got words so messed up Matt, she's like when I was in camps, like, lead macaroni's to a paper in the shape of a heart. Nah. I just wanna say sorry for what I bought my album. Macaroni did, whatever trouble they caused it did, okay?

You wanna ask me anything? Ask about my new book. Ask about my new, it's tree. Do you got it? Cause the tree post. Yeah, so trees is like, I never knew all these years later that it was going to be something that was going to be bothering users and make it hard for users to live and stuff. And like I like, I never want, I mean, I have girls. I got a girl who's seven.

And my oldest is not seven. And I'm just, I don't want that. I mean, you don't, I mean, I mean, that, I mean, you, I mean, I, it breaks my heart to be like, you know, you, it's her. I mean, Danielle's just sitting there. And so then Jillian starts talking. She's like, yeah, I was bullied. I was called things, which I choose not to say. It was a really tough time for me in New Jersey growing up. And it was hard.

And I was, it made fun of all the time. And Danielle's just sitting there drinking the tea, just relishing this, like watching Teresa Square. Like, finally, you must face it. It made fun of all the time and Daniel's just sitting there drinking the tea just relishing this like watching Teresa's squirm like finally Must face it. Yes, and Teresa's over there with her Maya Angelou She's like and then I Like I didn't want to like Well hot wrapped up in paper What are you talking about? Okay, I'm owning Murdo's like well accept it

It was yeah, so call but the table flip cascaded into different things The table flip cascaded into different things look your mother was a stripper She put herself on a fucking reality show and acted like a jackass, okay? And then she got in a big fight, which is what happens to everybody on a reality show I do not feel sorry for you people, okay? If you should be any be mad at anybody, be mad at your mother like the rest of us Pay attention. Police I love Danielle's job though She's always I've always had a very special place in my Harvard Danielle's job like she can be crazy as hell, but

man, she I mean this is back. Oh I think this season has been amazing and you know I don't think it's an accident that Daniel stop his back and it's amazing. Oh no, she goes right up to everybody. She's like, he is what that girl said and he is what that girl said. This is what that girl said. It's probably not an exact question. You think you want to talk to that girl now? You think maybe you want to talk to that?

I think you should. I think you should. I think you should. No. Okay, I'll throw a glass then. I mean, look, we hear a work. What are we gonna not throw something? A cry? A yell at somebody?

All right, I'll throw a glass. She's like, I'm throwing the entire pasta station, okay? It's a penultimate. Sipinultimate. The daughter's like, Mom, I was bullied by a pastor after that season. Okay, so Teresa's like, you know, I'm truly sorry.

I take responsibilities. I did it. It was me who done it. Joe probably made me, but the fact is, I signed the papers even though I thought it was just a birthday card to you. And she's like, I accept it was years ago. Now I'm free. Free to fly out of this bathroom. And

Teresa's like, thanks for your time. Buy my book. So, um, oh my god, here we are. Wow. We're back to the press conference. Ziggy is still explaining her departure from, from a real house was a New Jersey. So let's, let's tune in. To quote from one of my favorite musicals at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing. I can no longer risk my health or my family. I count my blessing and I'm grateful for all I have in life and wish to be far removed from the hostile work environment That sirens production created and my nip you later

All right, I've got a question over here. I've got a question All right, let's talk about this from the question from the torturer All right, all right, you know, this is just it's just out of control, Nessie. I mean, it's like, we've had this in this entire press conference, not once if you said how hilarious I am. I mean, you have to admit at this point, okay, at this point in the season, I'm hilarious, right? I mean, you can't just like leave the show and not say how hilarious I am. I mean, like, honestly, like, Joan, she would say all the time, like, I'm just hilarious, and you haven't said once how hilarious I am. So you like please tell me am I hilarious

Well once I told you you were hilarious and it was cut out of the season It was evident throughout the season and confirmed at the reunion when you Margaret blurted out on camera the sirens told her oh I Sucked and you were to continue targeting me All right, all right, you know what this is ridiculous. You know, I get up. Okay, so I said and you were to continue targeting me! Alright, alright, alright, you know what things, I have to say something, you just can't just quit a show. It's not how you do it. It's like, it's very difficult for me to have figured out. I mean, I'm just trying to be hilarious because that's what I am.

I mean, hilarious. I mean, who else are you talking to here? I mean, I don't see anyone else who is very hilarious. I mean, look over there, Diane Sawyer. She's very serious. I'm very hilarious. I mean, Diane, I mean, like, why are you even here, Diane? And like, what, 60 minutes?

Remember when you're on 60 minutes? How about 60 seconds, when you get out of here? So, more funny people can get in here. Am I right? Classic Joan. Well, producers immediately stopped filming Remember Margaret, so they could talk to you and do damage control by telling you to go back and retract your statement

and apologize for what you said. And with filming resumed, Margaret, we're through your statements about production. It was sickening and enlightening. You know, I'm sorry. I have to interrupt this press conference once again. I don't even know what these things she's talking about. I'm not an anti-Semite, all right?

I, you know, that's career ending, that's relationship ending. That's, you know, Marge Senior ending. That's confetti in the floor ending. Like Margo, if Margo ever thought I was truly an anti-Semite, do you think I'd be able to use her oven ever again? And don't even get it come to me about being anti-Semitic just because I say oven, okay? Like, I'm sorry, I'm allowed to say ovens, all right?

You know, like, these words that come up, I'm just trying to make persuasive arguments here. And like, it's ridiculous, but you know, but like, you're a sensitive person, and I, like, I never wanna hurt you, Sige, okay? But that's just, I guess, who I am, classic match. Well, the point is I quit. Well, fine. I like the dance, I like that there's fine. Yeah, I like the person.

I like that there's one camera. It's like cheek. Cameras, cameras are back. Ziggy's just standing there doing this. I formally quit real housewives of New Jersey. I am no longer Ziggy. The sea monster. I am now longer Ziggy, the sea monster. I am now Ziggy, the sea of later monster.

Ziggy, later suckers. So I can see. So that whole thing was so good because Bravo did release her letter and they cut out all that stuff about her saying, whatever she said that happens at the reunion, which, you know, of course they did. And she's like, how dare you? I'm going to all about the tea with the real news is printed. You know, I am mad at Ziggy because I really enjoy her. I think she's hilarious. I think

she's an original and I wish she weren't so much in her own head about this all. I think she's an original and I wish she weren't so much in her own head about this all. I think she's been great for the show and I think she would have been great for future seasons. And now that she's done this, she's sort of like, I think really sealed the deal that she probably will not be coming back. Bravo is very territorial about how they manage information and their talent or whatever. And she's obviously circumventing them, circumventing, circumventing whatever. And I'm like, Siggie, don't do this. I know a lot of our listeners hate Siggie now.

And I get that. And that's fine. But I love Siggie. And it's not fair. Well, I definitely love watching her, but she's full of shit to say that they reedited it to make her look that Siggie. We just saw you make up with Margaret, and now you're gonna show up,

add up pizza party of all places, and just diss her and her mother. Like you're the asshole. No one is making you look like an asshole except you. Stop acting like an asshole, okay? And now you're leaving after a whole season of acting like a completely melted down nut bag. And who's going to listen to you ever again? You at least need to come back for another season, get on whatever medication you need to take,

rehab yourself, and then quit. Don't quit when everything hates you, dumb dumb. Yeah, that's not when you quit. You have to do another season where you are like you try to rehab your image. And if it doesn't work, then you quit, you know, but if you can't just, you don't want to leave now while the audience has turned against you, that's the worst time to do it. But you know, actually, when you're getting the lesson, this season of how difficult it is to come back, look how much Danielle has worked. I mean, she has worked her ass off to get back on this show. She's been sending secret Facebook messages. She got Melissa and Joe on this show just to go after Teresa for her. I mean, this bitch is put in the effort and it's still a long game.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Sigi, um, we hope you somehow can fix this, but I'm afraid that I think I feel I'm afraid it's curtains for Sigi for real. But I'm, but guess what? The curtain is being lifted. At Gorga's pizza. Rea turns out the guy behind the curtain was just a midter the whole time and it's Joe. Yeah. And so he's there. It's like opening party. And he's still hurt that Melissa didn't help him out to put

the pasta in the chafers. Joe's like, I can't believe to risk to risk a Melissa late I never went to restaurant before we know we know too yeah so is everybody who's about to eat here okay yeah everyone who's a grand pizza me to cheeseburger pizza which gives me like gives me terrible memories to there was a season of the apprentice where the the the teams had to promote some God forsaken seven eleven idea called the pizza where it was a sandwich made of pizza where it was like the bot it was a slice of pizza and then a salad on top of the pizza and then

another slice on top. But the other slice was oriented properly. So it was like peat is like a slice of pizza with salad under it with another slice of pizza and you're supposed to eat the whole thing together And my first of all 7-11 doesn't even have credibility in the pizza world So why are you trying to make a we or the salad world? So why are you trying to make a weird pizza salad sandwich and calling it that Pa-e-t-sa is pee apostrophe E-A-T Paiza was P apostrophe EAT apostrophe S a something like that. It was like the worst thing in the world. But it's a that's it. But I'm like, Oh, now I see who would be interested in that. Joe Gorgah with his cheeseburger pizza. And I've heard of cheeseburger pizzas before, but this one looked like. It looked all wrong. I like a cheeseburger. I'm like, who puts red onions on cheeseburgers?

Nobody. Oh, yeah, that's a common thing. Red onions on burgers. No, I always have white Now I would love a red. I love a red onion. The red onions are very common on cheese on like a restaurant cheeseburger Very common, Ronald very I guess where they're not common water burger and Wendy's which is why I said a rest That's why that's why I said restaurant burger not a fast not fast food burger well i'm glad we found out who moaning murder was yeah all i need all all all all that we need to know is looking at the speed the hamburger helper glove is clearly wearing like a black band around one of his fingers it's like i'm in mourning over my friend my fellow burger comrades wimpy the hamburger guys like in the back cutting his thighs He's like maybe it's time for a change in diet after all Maybe it's time to start paying for my burgers today

So I'm just realizing that there's a thin line between wimpy and Reza everybody else I am a tank. That's so Persian. That's so cool. I would gladly give you a dollar tomorrow for a burger today. Which is so Persian, white people paying cash. Which is be like, okay, I'll give you the burger today and versions be like, hey, Saka, I just got a free burger.

And Asa's eating his burger. So, just like Melissa doesn't realize when she was all high in mighty, that hurt my feelings. Put it into your work, Joe. I can't wait to eat the sad Joe burger pizza. So meanwhile, Margin, Margin, you're getting ready to go for this pizza opening. And you're marching, it's like, so you like this. It's what do you think about this?

Yes, like a full ball of gown, ready to go. There's like sparkles. It's just like, okay, you know what mom, no, no. You look like an aging stripper, okay, and not even like the classy kind, okay, you just look like, you look like an aging strip of tape, okay? It's not the classy kind. Okay, you just look, you little look an aging strip of tape. Okay, it's not even a lady stripper. It's just like a piece of paper that's stripping.

Stripped paint, that's what you look like. Whatever strip jokes that I come up with, Joan goes to Joan, tell me not to strip joke, anyone. Well, if I gotta go off a cigarette, I gotta look hot. She's like, I don't think he's gonna have to do that because she texted me. She said she'd love the invite. She sent me little dancing girls and egg play and a fire in the air.

I don't know what that means, but I think it's going to be okay. Look, I'm the one who's got to get over everything. Truth, you know, I want to go there and act like nothing happened. That's that's what it's all about the guaga. It's all about the boy. Did you hear that she bought a tiny backpack? Ma, I mean, a tiny backpack. I'm so proud of her.

Yeah, you used a whole big box for a tiny little backpack. Listen, Ma, you know what? If you start up with a Ziggy, I'm dead city risk. I'm going to kick you in the cancels, okay? You know, mom, don't do it. Karen, she's like, don't have cocktails, mom. Please don't have any. Just one.

No, mom, you'll get that rear of the mouth. Don't do it. Don't do it. Two, okay, one and two. My kick you in the cancels. Kick you in the cancels. Honestly, I kick, I'll kick my machine in the cancels. Those are big cancels.

I can do it. It's like kicking a bean bag So Sigi is now with her dad and he's like sitting on a Something it's just like sitting in the backyard. She's like father. I have brought you So she goes and she tells him You know, she tells him all about Marge and the whole situation. She's like, she called me soggy flicker.

And he's like, well, you know, there are people like that. I know. Yeah, he's like, well, I just got back from teaching my holocaust in history of Israel class. And she's like, my father is not only a holocaust professor he is a survivor i'm like okay so you get double the holocaust cred than everybody else we get it Ziggy he also created a comic book called the holocaust it's not very popular because it depends me his daughter

she's like we did a fashion show to raise money for boys who died in a fire And then Kim D was there and no one likes her like she's literally Hitler. He's like wait a minute Oh, yeah, and then she said I'm literally like Hitler. He's like just stay away from it No, he goes what did she mean by that? She's like dad We're talking about fashion. Let me get to the point. He's like can you just stay away from her? How about that? How about you just stay away from her? She's like daddy. I don't want to say no. I don't understand. He's like so let me get this straight. I need to know because I am the actual Holocaust survivor here.

You hear the word Hitler and you call her anti-Semitic right away and you undermine the thing that we fight for? Yes, dad, yes. She is succeeded in turning you upside down. She's like, I admit it. My behavior has been wrong. I'm upside down. Now I shall be right side up and not ever speak to her in public

and disregard her mother and feeling so like wait a minute I don't think that this is any of the advice your father just gave you okay. Yeah, exactly like people light Speak to her and just keep all the non's length all right upside down. Don't talk to her Did you hear that you have this Diana Ross? She's making fun of me Upside down you're turning me what is is that? Instead of Margaret Joseph's song. So weird. That wins the dumbest laugh of the whole. There were a lot of dumb laughs this episode. I can't believe that beat out the extended discussion about the pasta station. I'm loopy at this point. It is kind of funny to think that that city would think that Diana Ross was tormenting her with her song.

She's trying to turn me upside down, especially at the disco party when that song actually comes on. She's going to be like, see, she's coming for me. And let me tell you something else. This Lionel Richie dancing on the ceiling. I know what that's all about. Who would throw confetti on the floor? Have you no respect for confetti makers? You know what? I'm gonna stay home and watch some TV. Let's see. Stranger things. The kids are going to upside down. the kids are going to upside down. So the restaurant opening, basically everyone gets there. Let's cut. What's the meat of this? I've wrote down so much and I never we don't.

She's bigger pizza is literally the meat of it. Melissa shows up late and they're like, so why? Why show up late? You don't want to be part of the business. She's like, I didn't say I didn't want to be part of the business. I said, I didn't want to boss him around. Like, I'm these my thing and this is his thing. And I don't want to be part of the business like I didn't say I didn't want to be part of the business I said I didn't want to boss him around like envy's my thing and this is his thing and I don't want to be part of the business That's all you just said it you just said it. She's like listen you got to take it seriously and then most of us Hey, don't tell me what to take serious seriously

She's just seriously seriously. She's like you really you're just Never mind. I'm so you're just beating the shit out of English at this point. Gorgeous. How about you just stop trying to poison people and stop trying to poison English? Okay. And then Teresa who only got there five seconds before is like, I don't think he was late. Oh, she's getting a glass of wine. Look at that.

A glass of wine. And then of course Teresa has to make everything about herself. So she's like, well, as a married person everything about herself so she's like well As a married person I understand what it's like you got it You got to be honest with your husband about everything see an outside and papers and then get thrown in into in the camps for no reason when it's not your fault Everything is about how she's about to divorce Joe like no one is socks Theresa okay exactly so then everyone shows up Segey shows up she's like this is my best friend Joanne and here's my best friend Maria and here's my best

friend Gloria like how many best friends does she have? I'm a little when Danielle comes in Melissa's like, look what the cat dragged in, which I, you know, I know that's a cute saying, but not for Danielle. Yeah, you know, because she had little he'd been dragged by a cat before. I mean, that was what I was trying to say.

I was dragged, you know. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I've been dragged from Bergen County all the way down to Red Bank. Look what the cat dragged and apologize to my daughters. So Dolores to senior. You know they have cat allergies. I love that Dolores meets March Senior. She's like, this is your mom. Well, that explains everything.

I take it you guys don't go to the hallmark store together. So my mom and I do. Then they're like, where's Michael Campanello? And he's like, he's at the dealership. This guy's a car salesman. Is that the deal? So yeah, I guess so. So Sige is like, yeah, just basically still going red going, hi to everybody but Danielle. I mean to everybody but Margaret. And she's like, if I didn't know any better, I'd say she's avoiding me, you know, which I understand because I'm an insult comic, you know, and that's what people do. Like fashion police couldn't take

it. Donald Trump could understand it, but like who even talks about him anymore? You know what I mean? I mean, here I am just trying to be hilarious if it's party. And like I feel like I've got the whole audience here. And she's like, doesn't get my jokes, doesn't get my humor. Like I don't understand why she's even here. I mean, she might as well just go home and like, you just put on her compliment,

you make Beth Collection slippers and just enjoy book there. Because this is honestly, this is my territory now. Okay, I'm making the jokes now. It's classic Marge and I'm here to stay and I want some cheeseburger pizza. Hold the cheeseburger, hilarious, Joan, classic March. Dolores, I met Marge's mother, she's cute, and she's like, that's nice, I'm hungry.

And Dolores says, well, I'm not gonna lie, it's rude. You know, you're respectful of your friends' parents, but that's me, that's me. It's just me, Laura's, you know, living in a house with a husband, got a boyfriend on the side. Still love having the husband there. I mean, it's comforting. Like, he's my best friend. We raised that kid together. What are you gonna do? You know, I mean the swifters. He swifters. Yeah, I got new cabinets. Anyway, so then we get a toast and, uh, Joe's like, Anyway, so then we get a toast and just like pictures. We got more pictures with Teresa in them and not just Melissa. And everyone's like, yay!

And Marge is like, now it's Fischua, she's ignoring me. She's officially ignoring me right now. So Danielle, of course, is going to try and make this work. Yeah, because Marge Senior wants to meet this famous Ziggy. So she's like, you know what, you know what, I'm gonna bring her over here. Okay, you deserve to meet her. So Danielle goes over to Ziggy,

and she starts to meet Lee Stroking Ziggy's hair. She's like, can you just come over here for a minute and meet Margaret's mom? Can you just come over and then Ziggy's like, no, I can't, I'm hormonal. I need to go outside. I need to come back inside. Go back outside again, then come back inside. back outside again Then come back inside make some noise

Pointed someone flap think go back outside part of it's just the the the calming the calming piece that hearing ding Ding Goes off every time I come in and then go out Come in Go out Ding come in Go out ding when we get to 20 things and the mother is still here, I'll consider it But right now I just want to be treated like a new customer

So Sigi tells us I'm not gonna go across the room to meet someone's mom when I don't even get along with her daughter I'm not gonna get ambushed once again. The sig is not stupid. You're officially stupid and you're being an asshole, okay? Yeah. Because no one ambushed you ever, ever. Yeah. No one's going to ambush you. And if they do sort of ambush, you just leave. Margaret, if you're listening to this, if you don't see that bitch for selling hashtag soggy flicker, I'm gonna be mad. Sue, at this point the gloves are off because Marge is like, you know what? I'm a better person. I'm a better person that this. I don't I don't need this. If she doesn't want to say hi, fine. You know what I got a cheeseburger pizza.

That's what I came here for. That's what I'm living with. I'm going to take the high road and our mom's like, good, you've taken the high road so many times you got cheeks and chong at the back seat. Don't don't take the high road kicker ass honey. It's like bad manners. Like I don't understand. What is this? Like you go to a party and say hi to someone that's supposed to be like normal.

That's like a normal thing to do for Siggie Flickr or better know it as soggy Flickr. I don't think so. I think it's bad manners. And my mom's here. She got all dressed up, she's wearing her Jimmy shoes, trying to look hot so she could talk to you like a normal person could. And I'm going to talk to you like a normal person could. And then I'm going to talk to her.

I'm sorry, it's bad manners. She's bigger pizza please. I'm late for my pasta train. And then next week is the disco in Furnah. You know what I want? I want a graveyard of disco balls. That sounds really fun. I want my 50th birthday to look like a graveyard, okay?

Got a graveyard of disco balls. Well, look at, you know, look at Marge. I mean, she basically is the, she's a new cast member. She's the central feud of the season, and she's getting the finale party. So, hey, looks like someone has arrived. Yeah. Um, everybody, that's it for us today.

We are, we are not arriving. We are departing. We have a good, relaxed, That's it for us today. We are not arriving. We are departing. We have a little relax. On trip tickets on the pasta train. And our departure time is in three minutes. So I know I wonder how many people want pasta right now, because I know I do. Yeah.

I know I do. Everybody, we sure love you. Thanks so much for being a part of this. Go to watch at crappens.com for ticket links, merch, Patreon links, all of that good stuff. And we will talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us

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