Watch What Crappens - RHONY & BelowDeckMed: We’re Reunited Okaay?

Episode Date: August 18, 2017

Real Housewives of New York kicks off its reunion month with a D’agastino grilling and lots of super sincere Ramona apologies, and Below Deck Med gets a special #WWHL Reunion to assure ever...yone that Chef Adam isn’t stalking Malia! Enjoy!  ** Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-watch-what-crapins. You can also find this on social media.
Starting point is 00:00:38 On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Hello and welcome to Watch What Crop Hams, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about. On Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Carram from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor in Paradise podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous talented, we're reunited and it feels so good. Okay. Bestie, Ben Madelker, the V-side vlog and the band to blend a hello bean Thank you. Hello Ronnie and I just want to warn the audience that what you're about to listen to was recorded two weeks After Luann filed from divorce from her husband of seven months Tom You guys this is
Starting point is 00:02:05 The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Yeah, it's like the beginning of faces of death. People will die. You guys, I am actually very, very excited today, aside from the fact that we have now had a full reunion episode of Real Housewives of New York under a belt. I'm really excited because while I was watching it, I got a knock on the door. It was Mr. UPS man and we received two things. One is a brand new tablecloth to go on our little tables. When we do live shows, we look more professional. So we have
Starting point is 00:02:37 an official watchcraft tablecloth. We're like growing up guys. It's cool. I'm just excited because like we like I I didn't think it was going to happen so quickly it designs it on on on this to print. You need to put that on your LinkedIn now. I know design a producer watch what crap is tablecloth. But you know like when you get something that looks real like you know like do you remember the first time you used nice fonts when you were typing something? Like the first time you used to have that, I could like, it looks like a book, you know? That's how I feel. Remember like in seventh grade, when before that, you only... Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Anytime you printed something out, it was dot matrix. It didn't look like a real book, but then like, when printers evolved and then you could write in, you could use like Times New Roman, I'm like, it's like a newspaper. Yeah, because you just have to get that stuff printed back in the old days, you have to go get it like, type sat, like there's all this weird sit that went into like making a, you know, surreter at Tablecloth.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Exactly, so the fact that like, I toiled around on this website for like an hour and a half on Saturday morning and now we have like an official Beautiful tablecloth. I'm like exceedingly excited, but even more excited than than I am about that This crap is magnetic poetry that I've been babbling about for about two weeks now It has finally arrived. These are real tangible things. I put some pictures and videos of it up on Instagram on our watch or crap on Instagram. And oh my god, it is so cool. It is so, so cool. It really is. You did a
Starting point is 00:04:14 great job with that. And people are asking where they can get to merge the magnetic poetry is just going to be a live show only thing. So that's our live show September 2nd here in LA and then we'll have those in Chicago too. Well assuming we don't sell out, if we sell out of the MNLA, I'm not sure if we'll have them in time for Chicago also. There's only 250 of them. Well, there's the other thing.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Oh yeah, and we are gonna have a merch store coming soon. We're working on it right now. We're getting all of our supply lines in place So if anybody is a cheap a screen printer in bulk over there, give us a call Okay, because we don't want some like cafe press like paper bag feel and bullshit We want like yeah, you know good stuff But still made in China by children because I support child labor and believe that children need discipline Yeah, and the only reason why we're not selling the magnetic poetry in a potential,
Starting point is 00:05:08 like, online endeavor is because we don't have the time to stick each one into its own little envelope and put an address on it and go take it to the post office. It's like too much. So we're like, we'll just take it to a live show. We just hope to sell it all there. That's why. But hey, if we grow big enough, that's something that we can do and we have, we have this, the infrastructure to be able to do something like that, then for sure we will sell it online. But for right now, it's just a, it's just can be at our shows. So excited for that show. I saw Jeff and Gage last night because Leah Black is leaving
Starting point is 00:05:41 town. She's only here for the summers. And I've gotten to hang out and laugh with Leah so much this summer that I was really sad. And I said, this is super weird to feel this way, but I'm sitting in Leah Blacks kitchen with Jeff Engage and it's the end of summer and I'm like sad. They're like, okay, that is weird, you know? They're like, trust us. It's a weirder for us, you know, as they pat you on the back. Yeah, like who the fuck are you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:11 They're like, so we're doing your ice skating show on the second right? And I'm like, yeah, stars on ice. This is for guys have no idea what they're getting into, but they're really excited to come do the live show. Flipping out starts tonight. So you know, everybody watch that because we're going to be watching it to, you know, be able to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:06:29 I have questions. Jeff Engage and Jenny. Yeah. I'm excited. I, it's all, we're like about two and a half weeks away from this show just on, like, it's, it's coming up. It's, it's coming up, Ronnie. I know it's coming up so fast. I need to such an app before it happens.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I'm like planning all of my nap times between now and then because last weekend I went out every day and I'm still like not feeling right. And it's not like I haven't spent time in bed since then. But I'm like, I've talked so much and there's so many people have seen me in public. This doesn't feel right. You're not going to beg. Well, last weekend was a lot and we talked about on our bonus episode this week, but it was definitely a lot. But today is also going to be a lot because we're going to be talking about real house wise of New York and below deck med both of their reunions, two reunions, one show, lots of diarrhea everywhere well
Starting point is 00:07:27 Diabria okay okay, let's get into this uh New York reunion let's do it this the stories you're about to see ripped from the headlines and may or may not have happened and these characters may not or may have been played by Donna McKekby. John, John. Yes, the actual text on screen, which we alluded to now two or three times in the span of five minutes, was what you were about to watch was recorded three weeks before Luan filed for divorce from her husband of seven months. Tom. Yes, no Luhans were harmed in the filming of this project. Dot dot dot. Yet. This reunion has been modified from the original size to fit your TV. Oh my God. And everyone, you know, people online also uh... cynical and everyone's like oh my god jeez everyone's so mad that she waited because they figure she was going to do it
Starting point is 00:08:29 they just waited until the reunion was over blah blah blah no she didn't she showed up in a wedding dress you guys she did not think this was going to end i don't think it this reunion yeah actually you know there was talk about how to and were her wedding dress the reunion i i looked at the pictures that was not her wedding dress. She was a different dress for the ceremony. Maybe she wore something, maybe it's the same dress. She's wearing white in general, you know, like she's like, Oh, Mary, can you believe it? I would have been in the chair right next to you, Andy. I mean, I am married now. Yeah. Would be considerate. Well, when they did when Andy did introduce her and he's
Starting point is 00:09:06 like, Oh, wearing bridal white. And she's like, Well, yeah, I love white. I'm like, not, not this week, Louanne of all weeks. You can't say that this week. I know, but you know, they had a couple of weeks on us. What are we going to do? So we start backstage and Carol's like, I'm ready. Yeah. And I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. Okay, baby, baby, baby, baby. Like, wait, these baby, baby, baby, yeah. Sorry. I was like, baby, we were saying baby, were saying baby baby baby baby and baby just popped into Bethany's house and she's like, oh my god. It's a cat. Seriously?
Starting point is 00:09:51 Like a little guy had just arrived from the black lodge. Okay. So, um, Ramona's like, you know, these women are always gunning for me. Okay. I'm gonna come out here. I'm gonna be ready to be gunning for. And so it's like, I'm just gonna complain. You know, I love complaining. If I'm not complaining, you check my polls. My first thought was this set looks like,
Starting point is 00:10:17 what's that Will Smith movie, July 4th, the fourth Independence Day? Independence Day. Do you like how I play like Baldur Bash with myself? No, yeah, I like that. It's like it's like pyramid. It's a Will Smith movie. It takes place on July 4th. It's not July 4th. Another name for it. It's in American holiday. Independence. Yes. That was also my Vicky Lawrence impersonation. It looked like an independent state. Oh my God. Don't start me on Vicky Lawrence.
Starting point is 00:10:43 You know, I'm already having trouble connecting my thoughts today. And then you bring up Mama's family. Don't do that to me. That's the night the lights went out in Ronnie's house. Um, you know, she's saying that song, right? Yes. I'm trying to concentrate. I'm trying to rail you. So easy. It looked like an independent stay set where the world has like just been nuked or bombed or whatever and people that are kind of recovering. It's like this, it looked like a church, but then there's all these vines growing in the
Starting point is 00:11:11 church. Like, it was a church, but now it's like, you know, a real tour in New York City. Yeah, he said it was a synagogue, but I was like, oh my God, a dead church that, you know, hasn't been cleaned out yet. Perfect set. But then they had the couches there. So it was sort of like being on the set of Windloser Draw. Yes, Vicky Lawrence call back.
Starting point is 00:11:30 There we go. Momma. I love Momma's family. Unfortunately, that's pretty much where the Vicky Lawrence call back. And because I think now that we've mentioned Momma's family, the lights went out in Georgia and Windloser Draw, there's really nothing left. Well, we could we could work in some Carol Burnett's stuff later. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I'm working on my year. We'll see how many old people, um, references we can come up with. Do this. We could probably do a few. Yeah. So yeah, we're at the oldest in the Yoggan, York City. Yes. And he's at the top of his form. He's like, hi, hi
Starting point is 00:12:07 Hi, hi this guy just rolls out of bed crunkly faced Smokes a blend and shows up to work. I'm really liking his style lately. Yeah. No, he's got it down So we start with who do we start with I Literally transcribe this show so if anybody wants to like pay for the transcriptions like at the end of a talk show in the 80s Please feel free to email me and I'll send you the entire transcript Yeah, well, I mean, I don't remember where we start with I only wrote down two things three things of the highs He said he's like Carol so you're training for a marathon and she's like Yeah, it's like the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Normally, I don't even run across the street. And the one laughs like this. Like, it's classic. I run every morning with Tom. My husband of seven months, who I will be with for another seven months and seven months after that and after that The seven month age girls. It's natural So then it's like hi, Tinsley. Are you still a Scott? Yes, he's like Q-pons
Starting point is 00:13:20 Luma Mermaid at a Kinseneer. I don't know what she's thinking with with what people were saying Elsa, but that is little mermaid colors Yeah, I love little mermaids, so I'm okay. I'm with her. Yeah, I feel like it's not tinsies best look but You know I wouldn't be mad at tinsley updating her style a little bit. I would not be mad at it Well, I'm really liking her. I'm liking her tribute to whatever happened to baby Jane, but like if that film had been shot in a time where there was a Sephora or like someone to help you still look cute, you know. Yeah, I just I feel like she's a little locked into her trademark, Mark Curl. I actually think
Starting point is 00:14:02 the women's beauty advice we're early in the season to shorten it a little bit. Shorten it and straighten it would be look really sleek on her. Well, Carol sir did she came with young hair. She's like, oh Andy my turn. I'm just crunching the back of my hair. Just like a finger scrunching it or whatever. So anyway, then he says, hi Sonya, you're the Strava stirs the drink. Huh? Her dream might be selling the townhouse and she's like, oh, I haven't even had time to tell the girls yet. Yeah, I found a three-bedroom apartment.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I could really see myself in, but I'm not taking the townhouse off the market just yet. I'm like, okay, so you've been on Zilla like I have great. Yeah. Three-bedroom sounds terrifying. Well, I think it sounds exciting. I think it sounds so small for Sonya. What's she gonna do? Where is she gonna put her like, mannies from the 1980s?
Starting point is 00:14:52 That's all in that case. Who would you think the first two bedrooms are for? Storage. Storage. Storage. Um, and then Ramona is not wearing Ramona blue, but Andy's like, I'm wearing Ramona, and she's like, I thought I'm very gold instead, okay?
Starting point is 00:15:11 But Ramona gold, um, you know, he said I hear you're dating, you know, after love connection, what happened? She's like, no, like this is different. It was different. The agency, no! Brandies. Okay? This guy, he came into the bar and he was good looking. Check. He wore a suit. Check. When I was drinking my straw and looking around the bar and blinking my eyes really big,
Starting point is 00:15:36 he looked at me. Check. He was wearing a hink a chiff in the front pocket. Check. He smelled like hand soap, which means he washes his hands after he makes tinkle. Chak, he was wearing shoes so his feet don't hurt. Chak? Jesus, he'd looked like he might've actually been Chak, Chak.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Even at the end of my drinks, he said, can I pay for this by Chak? Chak. And then he'd like each one of the glasses in front of me. Chak, Chak, Chak. And then he'd like each one of the glasses in front of me. Check, check, check. And he doesn't live in Philadelphia. Like the man I met on Love Connection. Check, check, check. We didn't have to go to a chain Italian food restaurant.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Check. Big check there. And I looked at his pants and it looks like he's got quite the check inside there Check Yeah, listening to Ramon is checklist. I was like this explains so much. Yeah, this is not healthy for anybody And Lewand's like well good now you can stop focusing on my check marks Which I have a big one, because I just got married. Huge check mark.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Huge check. Giant checks. I'm very sorry, Jack. Very not all the other checks could be invited. Maybe next time the checks will just behave themselves a little bit better. Look, hey! Maybe next time you can have a party that you invite me to, and we'll have checks mixed, Jack.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Some may find that with Tom Tom I found my check mate. Mate check. Check. Check. Check. Hey. So Ramona is like I didn't focus on Tom okay. Is it Tom focus on everyone else? Oh, it's not going to be fun. So then the show launches into a Ramona is crazy montage where we see Ramona being crazy. Have your crazy ponytail. Same crazy things being on the floor. Yeah. There's so many different names for Ramona.
Starting point is 00:17:41 There's Ramona coaster, Renault, a rider, um, singer, singer Ramon Lamadingsong, that crazy lady over there. Ramon, baloney with the crazy eyes and the sticky vagina. I was like, wait a minute, I haven't heard of it. I'm saying check, check, check, check, check. Ramona, check, check, check, Mona, check, check, Mona. So, so we see this whole this whole montage and it's you know
Starting point is 00:18:09 It's like clipped after clip after clip which is hilarious and then they of course put in the clip of Jill being like it's She's sick or sad or whatever it was and they showed Bethany in the corner watching and she says Cuz Jill it's like all right here. I am for one, uh, one scene this whole year. Okay, Ramon is an idiot. She's desperate and like she's miserable. So she wants everyone's life to be miserable. And, uh, it's like going down the name, just talking about anybody she can to stay on the show.
Starting point is 00:18:37 I'm definitely like, Oh, God, seriously. What's this Hanukkah? It's like the yearly, it's like the yearly screening of Jill's errands, opinions, like, like what is this? The Christmas story, like you're, it's like the yearly screening of Jill's errands opinions like like what is this the Christmas story? Like you're gonna shoot your eye. Okay, like seriously? Well, you see your tongue on a pole. It's cold. You're gonna freeze yourself on to it like I'm not gonna get you I'm not called cops you do it. You're stuck there until spring. Where's if a jazzle lady like why doesn't she? Why doesn't she get something every year? Huh? Why didn't you guys have what?
Starting point is 00:19:02 Is this like a lamp or is it a like I can't tell Chinese food? I can't. Like, like, who even, who can even walk like that? Like seriously, but it's a stripper lamp. It's like one bike stripper. Like, what's this boutique? You know what this is? This is an lamp. It's a cheater lamp. That's what it is. I love the stakes that that lamp strips in it. Yeah, the good, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Symphony. What, you, you, you, I, Yeah, I'm going to serve on turf. I don't get it. Like, Graham can't put like a circle to the ground. It doesn't work. I like when in this clip, it ended with Ramona finally admitting that everything's not so perfect in the season finale when she tells Bethany, you know, oh, you had a bad year. And like, I just realized, I don't have a partner. And that makes me sad. And I just realized that Bethany said, um, you know what? year and like, I just realized, I don't have a partner and that makes me sad and I just realized that Bethany said,
Starting point is 00:19:48 you know what, it's like, you know, like, you already did it one time, that was the hardest part, you know, like, you've already been married, so you can do it again, like, you know how to do it. Like, I was always scared of like, my first, like, billion dollars and then I made it, now look at me, like I've got popcorn, like, Huno, like I have like, granola bars,
Starting point is 00:20:02 like the, like, was skinny girl clip art, Huno, you can do it. Like you've met one cheating douchebag asshole who treats you like crap. You can meet like five more now. It's like easy. And we were just like, oh. So then we come out of everyone. It's like I had a bad year and I have to own it.
Starting point is 00:20:21 What else can I say? Okay, I'm just owning my bad year. I didn't see it like everyone else saw, okay? But then I saw on TV and I was like, whoa, who's that? She's gorgeous. And then I realized I was watching an old episode of Entertainment Tonight and I was looking at Mary Hart, okay?
Starting point is 00:20:41 She's a gorgeous, gorgeous woman. See, Mary Hart really fucked up this season, okay? Maryheart was out of control, you know why? I think she's sad. I think she's a sad, anger woman. She needs to be happy. She needs to be happier with John Tesch, but maybe he should spend less time
Starting point is 00:20:59 playing the piano and more time playing Maryheart. You know what I'm saying, okay? and more time playing Mary Hart. You know what I'm saying, okay? So she's come ready to apologize. She's like the politician. He's got caught giving a blowjob, or she's just like, well, I did wrong. And I asked my constituents for forgiveness.
Starting point is 00:21:16 She doesn't really understand what she's done wrong, which is why I will always love Ramona no matter what she does. Because she just doesn't get it. So I also, oh, go ahead. No, I was gonna say I also love that Ramona, how she has very specific explanations for certain things like about her skin procedures and why she always gets then and like why she would get those procedures before going to
Starting point is 00:21:37 Mexico. And she's like, well, I have very sensitive skin because my mother's, my, I mean, my other two girlfriends did it and they were fine. You do this to me, you scratch me on the arm right here and you'll see redness, okay? I just turned to a big tomato. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sensitive skin. Do you want to get a close up of my arm where I just scratched it?
Starting point is 00:21:58 Like look, it's crazy, I wrote the word dry. I have cat scratch fever, I need some oil of old clay, okay? And he's like, okay. Oh my God, you guys, I haven't asked you about your boobs yet. I'm so sorry. Can we start over? It's funny because I was like, a stranger, he's not asking about the boobs.
Starting point is 00:22:19 So instead, he's like, okay, let's just pile all the questions onto Ramona instead. Yeah. So he's like, you know, 60. 60 is never looked so dot, dot, dot. Like he never really said, it's amazing. He's just like, whoa, you sure make 60 look. Wow.
Starting point is 00:22:37 So your boobs and she's like, well, when I was 54, I had the top of my eyelids done, because I had this like thing at the top of my eyebrows. And it's not there anymore. And you know I was 54 is my eyebrows and then turns he goes Botox I was like whoa this is crazy. I always had big eyebrows I'm drooping and when I was doing my mascara It would get all black up there because they got droopy you know So I had to get them lifted so that way I could do my mascara, a lot of nicer,
Starting point is 00:23:07 femario but by then it was too late here I'd left for someone who had better mascara and didn't have racoon eyes okay, so I'm sorry I'm sorry I got my eyes lifted okay and I'm not happy about it okay at least he didn't have to find out about mascara from page six okay I'd see I love when she doesn't understand like what's a fight and what's not cuz then you go what about your boobs and she says Well most women she's their boobs at 37, okay? And he got they do was that a thing was like 37 the magic number when people get their boobs Like my point is I didn't do them until I was like older okay, I didn't even need them when I was 37 because it was still high. It's like she's still sticking up for her 37-year-old boobs.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I also get myself laser. I get my laser for the sunspots because the sun's not good for you, okay? I love sunshoyne. I like to play their Miami of sunshoyne, but I don't like spot their Miami of sunshoyne, okay? Let's face it, we're all getting older. Sorry, sorry, but sunspots are day class set. Well, also you've been having a lot of unmarried sex. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:12 You know, well, this reminds me of this one time as a little girl. I wanted to go out sun tanning and gelding parts and Smith said, hey, stop it, little girl. You're just gonna turn yourself into a lobster. And maybe that's what you are. Maybe I should throw you in the ocean and you get trapped in a box and some I'll just eat you. And to this day I've never been able to eat lobster. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but let's face it, I was traumatized.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Okay, so they go over the lights and they were production lights which I'm glad that he cleared up because you know it did sound like she ripped out some sconces from Tarendra's wall in the home. Yeah. My dad checked the guest's house. The 20 years no one ripped out those gants. He's, you're a nice kid. They went through that.
Starting point is 00:24:59 She's like, what I meant to save us. I'm sorry. And I apologize to my constituents. Okay. I didn't realize you know when you take off when you when you when you destroy someone's home when you take the paint off someone's wallet to Rinda that's like doing graph E T and I didn't realize I was doing that term. So Rinda I didn't mean to put graffiti on your property.
Starting point is 00:25:20 I didn't mean to vandalize it. Okay. I'm sorry because I know that's how you looked at it. You're like, it's not how I looked at it. It's not what I was. It's not what I was. Yes. It's like, I leave the paint. It's just the fact that it's like,
Starting point is 00:25:31 the next day, you see it, you just leave. Like, it's no big deal. See, after math and talking about it, it's not normal. And the one goes, of course it's normal. It's Ramona. It's not strange. It's Ramona.
Starting point is 00:25:44 You should already have an order filled out at Home Depot before she shows up. Remember what I said? Oh my God. Luian just said something introspective right now. He said the right word and Beth and goes, now it's prophetic. I was like, you're both wrong actually. Yeah. Not only are those words made sense in this context.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Vicky Lawrence would be like, no, keep guessing. And every, I love that on this show, everyone's just jumping in on everyone else's question. It's always like a chicken pan, you know, it's like, wow, here's what I think. Well, you just don't see yourself as a badass guest, but that doesn't mean you're not a badass guest. And Bethany goes, look, for example, like last night, you're at the elevator, you walk, you, you see my assistants, like all these people, she needs like, what's the matter? What's happening? You know, they're both standing there. Yeah, what's going on? They're all three standing there, like what's their
Starting point is 00:26:35 skinny girl, no pads, like, you know, who they are, they're standing at the elevator, you walk right in front of my assistants, you don't even acknowledge them, okay? Like, because my assistant is below you, and you don't treat staff well, okay? They're real people. Like, wait, there's some people, you know? That's why their names are on the checks. Yeah, it was like this random rant from Bethany,
Starting point is 00:26:54 which surprised me, because I don't believe for a second that Bethany says hi or talks to anyone's staff member. And if she does, it's nothing more than a, hi. Yeah, so like, look, I mean, all my friends talk are from my staff like to render like she's friends with my dad driver Like she's really close with Morgan Freeman. She's like yeah every time I see him I ask him where I compact my car and then I'm like sorry And so Ramona has a great response. She's like, you know what? I go into his zone You know when you grow up abused one thing you don't do is you don't talk to people, especially people who are below you in life, okay? When you grow up with someone like my father and you see a spaghetti, you duck on the table
Starting point is 00:27:33 because you know a piece of it's going to fly and get your mom sick for it, okay? Let's face it, when I see people I don't know, I just see plates of spaghetti, that's what I see, I know they're going to be thrown in someone's face soon, okay? Sometimes you forget what sunt join is. And Beth and he's like, oh, shut up. Come on, you're 60. Like, like, Seriously, you're gonna still talk about being abused.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Why don't you just go to a commune, okay? Like, Seriously, just go to a commune. Then I have our condition, you can sit there and sweat and like, talk about your face and like, have your meet the way. There's like, Seriously, like, go to a commune. Like, they're really like, go like, going on a week and you're on a quorn and like, make your own salad and like, you'll have your own food and you guys can like, like, say, like, hey, you meet the waiters like seriously like Guadalcan you like to really like go like where I go on week and you're on corn and like make your own salad And like you'll have your own food and you guys can like sing like kumai or whatever that word is like what is that song in a way like kumai
Starting point is 00:28:11 I like have a song in English. How about that for once? She's like come I hear that's good for your face So Bethany Bethany Everyone's jumping on her and they're really because well, why didn't they just say hello to me? I was at the elevator like why doesn't anybody look at it like that like there? I am at the elevator and there's what's a matter what whatever constituencies and they didn't say nothing to me Why couldn't they say something to me? She says can they're intimidated? You're on the show like you tips are hanging out of your You dress your hair is down to here. You got crazy eyes. You got chicken in your purse purse you got rosé behind the couch like seriously you're a horror show. Now here's something I don't
Starting point is 00:28:49 believe I don't believe they're intimidated by Ramona because they work for Bethany. If you can work for Bethany you're never intimidated by anyone not even Ramona. Well they probably have that awkward moment of like Ramona standing here Ramona just walked up isn't even acknowledging us or talking to us and she's like Trying to figure out how the elevator door opens like is she being a bit sure that she's just not even Recognize us or like what the hell it's on Ramona Ramona establishes the tone you know like when she says I don't even know who they all I don't even know who she is I walk about I don't know who this girl is and that's not a lot about you because you met them before many times Who do you think serve you drinks? Who's who's
Starting point is 00:29:26 every drink? I don't know. I don't look at faces. I just look at hands. I just give $200 and says, you make me tea. I don't look at faces. I just look at hands. But you know, as someone who has been an intern, you know, an assistant, it plays as many of us have been, you know, and assistant, it plays many of us have been, you know, when there's like higher ups, it's, if you're someone is higher up, they establish the tone. So if they come in and they're super chatty and friendly, then, then, you know, it's sort of as a signal
Starting point is 00:29:57 to like the staff members, the assistants, and the interns, that, oh, you can talk to me like a human being, but if they don't talk, then you get scared, That's how it is. So it is on Ramona. Ramona be nicer. Yeah. She's like, well, I am what I am, OK?
Starting point is 00:30:10 And what I am, these new excuses, OK? And Bethany's like, well, enjoy that animal. You're an animal. Look, that's all I'm saying. Like literally, she's like a gerbil in a cage. Like, she needs a bottle of water with one of those balls at the end. So the water doesn't follow all over the place when she's not sticking your tongue on it.
Starting point is 00:30:27 You know what I mean? Like animal. Whoa, this is crazy. I've been running on this wheel forever and not getting anywhere. What sort of wheel is this? I don't think I'm even in a wheel, okay. What do you poop pellets? Like seriously? Like I have to walk behind you while little pellets drop out of your ass because you're an animal.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Like seriously, like I can't. I want everyone little pellets drop out of your ass because you're an animal. Like seriously, like I can't. I want everyone to know that since Mario left, I've redecorated my little sky, my little penthouse above the Hamster cage, okay? Just take this tube upstairs and you'll see it. It's wonderful. Oh, well, I hope you get two so you can crawl around the living room in like I have with Tom. Tom got me an amazing wheel where you can climb up into the top of this little compartment where you can hang out in. I mean wood chips. It's like a cast-braumatrice. Did you see this new art installation Tom got? It's oversized Legos. It's wonderful. One time I peed on the wood chips and
Starting point is 00:31:19 it was like it wasn't even there anymore. It's like it disappeared. Would you like one of these things they look like Cheerios, but they're not. They're made for us. You know what? Delicious pig's ears. Well, wait a minute. For our honeymoon, Tom and I each got into a ball and roamed around a house. It's how I'm making them go to the agency from now on.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yes, you can say hello to Missy from inside your ball. All right. Now he just, he just rolled towards Missy and bounces right off of her. Listen, our marriage is wonderful. We just hit a maze together. So then it keeps going with the influence. Why are we on hamsters? Where did this come from, Ronnie? Because Beth, he was calling her a mountain animal. And then she goes, he treat people like dogs like in Mexico and then they show her in Mexico like listen here Alex Pedro okay here's where I put my music could you do something with this and it's like this huge boom box from the 80s she's pulling out of her bag it's like could you please
Starting point is 00:32:17 spray these CDs down with this magic spray don't use paper towels okay it'll ruin the CDs she's like but I gave him $200, what's wrong with that? She goes, you treat people like animals, you treat them like a dog. And she's like, it's not how I see it. I just believe that people need treats and hats on the heads. No? Here, I gave manual Cabrera some $200 extra dollars. It was very happy with that, okay? We don't talk about many Cabrera some two hundred extra dollars. It was very happy with it. Okay. We don't
Starting point is 00:32:45 have that many come back to bear. You know, Johnny Damon and Wookie Wilson. They're all helping me out. How about them apples? That was my favorite Johnny Damon movie. So anyway, they go on to talk about Jill some more and Andy's like, well, what it he said, what do you think Ramana about what Jill said? She's like, I don't even know Jill Zarin. So it's like, okay, okay. And then Bethany's like, he said, what do you think Bethany? Because someone someone from, you know, Indianapolis, no, this wants to know her. She said her daughter saw Jill on a plane. The Jill was very nice to her. Would you ever do something with Jill again? Was I thought it was that Jill's daughter spoke to Bethany. Well, it was that. Oh, was the little listeners daughter spoke to Jill. Was that what it was?
Starting point is 00:33:33 I just it was something about someone's daughter talking to Jill or something on a plane. I just love that people write in. It's like to the Southwest Airlines. Sky Miles magazine that they're writing. And Beth got so annoyed. She was like, how many times I've had to end this? I'm not going to be friends with Jill's here. No, never again. Why? Why do you keep asking me? Andy, every single time, every single time
Starting point is 00:33:53 I'm watching what happens, every time I'm on the reunion, every time I go to a bar, I'm open up a bottle, I'm trying to take a shit. Every time I'm looking at cock, every time I'm looking at a point, I'm looking at cock, I'm like, whoo, it smells like pussy in here. It's like, you know what this is? It's like a pussy cock situation.
Starting point is 00:34:03 You're like, want to be friends with Jill's here? No, I don't want to be. Yeah, just let it go already. Okay. Like, we've all seen the clip, like a monkey would have that opinion. Like seriously, like, like what is it? Hanukkah, what is it?
Starting point is 00:34:13 My birthday, I'm gonna open up a Joe question, like seriously. And she goes, with all two, sir. It's like, it's like, it's eight days of asking me about Joe's Aaron. And it's not a miracle, okay. Yeah, seriously, you're like one of those calendars where every day you open up something but instead of a delicious, tiny piece of chocolate, it's like, what do you think it's Joe? What do you think it's Joe? It's like, to see how, seriously, you're like one of those calendars where every day you open up something but instead of a delicious tiny piece of chocolate, it's like, what do you think of
Starting point is 00:34:27 gel? What do you think of gel? It's like, to see it, you know, it's like, I'll, you know, it's like November 1st, what do you think of gel? Like November 2nd, what do you think of gel? I'm like, when the fuck is Christmas here? So I can just open a present, Joe fucking's Aaron Trump's Saudi indie, okay? It's like, trade-al-jadal-jadal. I made it out of Jill's Aaron go away, okay, literally, I can't. Like, seriously, I don't have, um, with all due and the Ramona does. I have a spank. Yeah, I like that Ramona filled in the blank. Yeah. Yes, Ramona, we figured it out when she said, with all due.
Starting point is 00:34:56 She's so proud to be the one helping somebody out with English. Vicky Lawrence, the answer is respect. Do I need to put that in a go? My skin. Now do we go to Egypt? No, it's just called pyramid. We're not actually you don't actually get to go to the parents. Oh, I want to go on the love connection again.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I love I love spinning that big wheel, winning money. It's like, no, it's not will afford to know another Andy. Are you okay? I heard you're in jeopardy. No, totally different game it's not will of fortune or another. Andy, are you okay? I heard you're in jeopardy. No, totally different game show. Not even hosting that. Oh, okay, okay. When loser draw, okay? When loser dreidel, Jill Zerrin. Here's me drawing Jill Zerrin, question mark, okay? Because I don't even know who that is, all right? Andy, Andy, you know what? Fire is very dangerous and I don't think you should be playing with matches. Okay, this is not a game.
Starting point is 00:35:48 I don't care if you call it the match game, okay? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, no, no, I turn on I turn on the TV. Okay, so a few days ago, you know, every few days I've been doing these little videos on Instagram, where it's like Ramona watches this thing. And we want to watch that thing. And I basically turn on the TV, put on something random. And I just like narrate on the fly what what Ramona would be saying. And so the last thing I narrated was her watching family feud. And so the TV has been on game show network since. And so I turned on a match game was on and I somehow got sucked in. Why is that family having a feud? You know, I thought I was okay until the family came home and they said, Mom, you're being mean to me.
Starting point is 00:36:36 They asked a hundred people why they're angry at each other. No one has the right answer. Okay. So, uh, let's see. Has Ramona properly grieved her divorce? Oh God. Well, as a victim of abusiveness, it's like, uh, God, I'm a cameo. What I had, but then Avery's been home, and apparently I've been yelling at Avery,
Starting point is 00:36:57 yelling things like, where's Mario? Has Mario seen the redecorated apartment? Avery finds your father. Where is he? Why isn't he here yet? It's strange. Where's all the Pellegrino going? She thinks it's her water.
Starting point is 00:37:11 It's like she fills up the bathtub with it. It's something. Codus to Avery for filling up the bathtub with a polygreno to her. It's water. So next we move on to Durinda. Chapter Durinda. John, John.
Starting point is 00:37:24 This Durinda segment was filmed three weeks before Durinda heard that Luanne was leaving Tom and Paisley. Yes, we shall. I just want to mention that Ramona had a sort of a sad moment where she was like watching me. I'm like, is that really me? I don't know if I want to be friends with myself. And then she looked down and I was like, no Ramona.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Well, she came just ready to apologize. She's like, yeah. Who is that woman? Why don't I want to be friends with her? Her rack is really nice. I wonder if she thought this was she was a dirty scab. She's got a dirty scab. Sorry, I just totally talked over you.
Starting point is 00:38:00 I just got too excited. Let's go to the moment. What are you going to do? I never shut up. It's like, if I don't care, I just got too excited. Let's go on. Well, what are you going to do? I never shut up. It's like, if I don't, if I don't care, a word start, I'll just keep talking, you know, and I'm drinking my homemade cold brew, which is stronger than ever. Me too. I'm cracking out. I was like, I'm so tired to date, not anymore. I'm like, yes, I'm like, Ramona, Ramona, Ramona, Ben and coffee all together in one big, gruggie, cracking mix. Well, as you started to say, now we move on to Derinda, so things can get real sloppy now.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Derinda, with all the things printed about Derinda in page six, she'll always back it up. But Sonia learned, if you come for her, she won't make it nice. Is there anything more amazing than an extended clip montage of Derinda Medley? I don't think so Just get Dorainda's just off the rails drunk losing her mind One after the other. I mean the gold that comes out of her mouth It barely makes sense, but it works every single time when she was telling at that party at Ramona's house in the Hamptons or whatever She she's telling Carol I've've got something I'll tell you
Starting point is 00:39:06 that because I got someone doing some research. Okay, I got someone doing some research about what Sony said about me and Carol's like, what like a detective? No, not like a detective. Like the FBI? No, not like that, bye. Like Veronica Mars? No, not like that. You know like someone who goes on searches for stuff You know No, diagnosed as murder style Whatever happened to father telling huh, that's the real mystery Mertishi ali book to my right So The audio book to my right. So, uh, then, you know, yelling at Sonya Ramones,
Starting point is 00:39:47 where she's like, like, you're stopping that vaginal revelation and putting an easy path on a lavejaina. What is it he builds up? Says you want to put a towel on your head and you're like, pretend you got it to close. Clip, Clip. Durand is like,
Starting point is 00:40:04 yeah, someone said, Clip to me at the city bank and for some reasons funny to me Imagine during that city bank. I Like to make it to pass it. Please That's like her greatest memory of the week and these like people keep screaming clip at this entire cast What the hell during this? He's like yeah city bank and she goes I couldn't stop the verbal waterboarding. And I was like, fuck you Bravo. Because in all the promo, they showed,
Starting point is 00:40:30 they showed to her to sing, stop the verbal waterboarding. But it turns out, it was her saying, I can't stop the verbal waterboarding. I don't know what these things come from, Ely. You don't even know what they come from. And it's wanted to clip it, you know, like, it's like me, Jan the clip it, you know, like, like, I mean, giant eating chips.
Starting point is 00:40:46 And he's like, shut up. Clampy. I mean, chips I have between the couch cushions. You know, the videos, Cheetos, phido leg, entire phido leg line. It's everything fair. And then Sonya tries to stick up for herself
Starting point is 00:41:02 about having an easy pass on her vagina. And she's like, look, I've been to a force for 10 years and in that time what a bite I've had like steady lovers like what nine Okay, there was the guy from the subway and then there was the German guy and then she starts listing all these and everyone together Like shut up. No, we don't need the list She's like it's not really a Holland tunnel. It's more of a tribe or a bridge. I mean, since when is an easy past badge? You know how nice it is not to be walking around with Nichols in my vagina? I mean, just the accounting alone. Although
Starting point is 00:41:38 I did enjoy having that token basket. Works for the ski ball machine under the man a stash in my basement. That's how I feed pickles. I just set up a little token basket and throw, patented chips down the shoot. That's called the hard pass Andy. So during this, I just don't like it so me you know she act like she's being prim and proper and about think of prim and proper she talks about far to never vagina like seriously like what's prim and proper like seriously that's prophetic right there huh she goes yeah but you know like she'll say stuff in the press and then I cook a little press I could be like a low page six you ready to get to page seven cuz I got some some stuff to say. You know, but I don't, I keep it classy. But you know
Starting point is 00:42:29 what? I may not go to the newspapers, but I don't forget. Which is basically fair. Yeah. She's basically admitting that she like saves it all up over the summer. And then she's so mad by the time they start shooting again. She's got like a full on trapperpper keeper full of evidence, you know. I also fear that whenever she does could try to go to the press she just goes to like a pizza parlour and goes to the pizza press, something like that. Hey, I got some news for you, Pepe Rooney. Hey, Mr. Sibaro here. Mrs. Sebaro here. Living in Alan Miss Whoretell here wants to talk to the manager. So then they get on Sonya for calling the newspapers
Starting point is 00:43:13 all the time. Beth is like, look, everyone knows you call the newspaper Sonya. Like seriously, get over it. Like everybody knows. And she goes, I do not call them. They call me. And then I say, no comment.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Except for this one. The following comment. The following comment was made three weeks before Lewand separated for divorce. And Andy's like um Bartholomew from Bermuda, wants to know. Durinda, don't aren't you a hypocrite when when you get on Sony about her drinking when you need drunken subtitles because no one understands What you're talking about after a few drinks and she's like no because I don't like like I'm sober at least you know I'm drunk Like I'm not saying like hi for mine. I'm sober. I'm actually go I'm sober and she's like but I was sober You know you weren't and everybody's like no you weren't It's like after but I was sober. You know what you weren't and everybody's like, no, you weren't. It's like after 10 months, I drank.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I only drank after 10 months. And then during that 10 months, I only had some sips here and there. I mean, what is it? Like three or four drinks in a day and suddenly you're off the wagon. I don't think so. Well, I'm saying 10 months on camera.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Okay, 10 months on camera is when it counts. And Beth and he's like, what are you, like counting back to when I was 10, like seriously? Like who cares if you drink? And she's like, how, last year you made me up to be a huge alcoholic. I'm apparently you care, be honest. Maybe Sonya doesn't realize that when people talk
Starting point is 00:44:40 about 10 months, they have to be like contiguous. You can't just have like, oh, there was a day back in 2004 I didn't drink and there was a day in 2013 where I basically didn't drink and if we add up all these days it comes out to 10 month. No, it doesn't work that way. But I will say, I mean Sonia lives in her own world. I mean, when they were just going back for a second
Starting point is 00:45:00 to when Durrindo was, everyone was hounding Sonia for going to the press, etc. And Dorinda was saying how she saves everything up. And when she had that big fight with Sonya in the Hampton, she's like, I was actually in a very good mood going to the hands of that day. And then I look, I got calm. Someone says, Hey, looking at Texas. And so I did.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And I was like, clip, clip, clip. But Sonya was like, yeah, I mean, I did trash her. But by the time I saw her, she was still pissed and I had moved on. Like Sonya, you don't get to just, like, you don't get, just because you moved on doesn't mean that it's there for us to run to have to move on. She's the one who bore the brunt of it.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Good, good, good. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good,ip Clip. I love your abbreviated during the speak. Clip Clip, got a Texas, Clip Clip. Hey, what happens? You know what, if you want to see how it's wrong, you can't see how much, okay? I made it this. Don't mess with Texas.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Keeping the heart of my Texas. That's what I got. You know, because it does have heart. You know those Texas do have heart. Silly bank. I'd like an IRA, please. Not the terrorist kind. I love city bank. Really, I'm looking for someone named Ira for the win. No, Ira, I thought I was what to get an Ira at the bank, huh? No. He worked at PBS. We see lunch together when I was in the news business. So then we go on to the pajama thing where Sonia took Durandas pajamas that Richard
Starting point is 00:46:41 got her and then she hasn't touched since he died. And so Richard may be dead, but what's not dead is Sonya's enjoyment of the pajamas he gave Durandat's like, whoa awkward, awkward it for Abby. So no, it's like, no, I felt terrible. I felt terrible. But they were, they were in our closet. They were in the guest closet. It's not a guest closet. It's my closet. It's my closet. You just win the room They're just apologize can't you just say you're sorry? But I did apologize and my daughter you didn't do it right so she turned story She's like it Durinda You already accepted my apology, but okay
Starting point is 00:47:21 You still suck at it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it took so long for turned down service that night And I got bored and looked in your closet. I'm sorry Look just don't touch things in people's homes and if you do clean them up the next day Okay, you'll take them to the dry cleaner or whatever and suddenly it's, okay. And then Andy said, but everything's okay now, right? You guys have worked everything out. And somebody's like, oh yeah. And during the goes, terra firma. terra firma. I love standing on solid ground.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Am I right? You know, they love me and China. And yeah, in that city, the terra terraform city must the terracotta warriors Carat herna is like distinct from the sea of the air Think okay. Well, that makes total you know those terracotta warriors always give me a standing ovation. I do my cap relapse over there They're very stowa crowd though hard to get some emotion out of them So then we get to Luan's marriage. It's like dun dun. This Luan segment was taped three weeks before Ramona laughed and left a voice mail with a voice
Starting point is 00:48:36 changer saying I told you so. Okay. On the way to the voice mail. This isn't anonymous source. Okay. Let's face it. Okay. Let's face it. My daughter, Schmavory had some news for me. Okay. Let's face it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I am just now realizing my marriage is over. I am single and ready to mingle. Okay. This gossip reminds me of sunshine. Oh, Get up Ramon, I know you are back there Get out of there with your hidden Pinocchio behind the couch This is the bar shop It's like Ramon, this sounds like Cindy bar shop, which he's got a voice change on Who wants to get the jazzled okay? What if I go horseback riding and I've got some plastic jewel? Like glued to my VJJ, okay?
Starting point is 00:49:47 That's crazy, it's like asking for cuts. I'm reporting from Kwa, because I'm Cindy Bar Shopping not removing a singer, okay? Okay, so the nuance like, well, I love married life, thanks for asking. You know, I love married life and the life that goes with it and having a partner in life and I love Dom and So, so perfectly awkward But what about giving up the Countess title and she's like, well right now I love the title being Mrs. Dagostino And she's like, well, right now I love the title being Mrs. Dagostino. No. That's when you're just scrunching your face like,
Starting point is 00:50:28 I don't have to say anything yet. Does this, is this that movie where we like find a little hole in the back of the office and you crawl through it and mom's on the way and said, being, being Mrs. Dagsino, huh? No, that's being John Malcovitch. Also, great film. Oh, wait, no, you're in my head. Would, would you believe it? What's the matter and what's going on
Starting point is 00:50:51 literally I can't my walls are up how lovely to see you in the celebrator have I mentioned that I married what's going on and what's the matter it would be nice if you acknowledged my ring. I am married now. What do you mean, what floor am I going to? The bridal suite, of course. I mean, it would have been considerate. Look at me with my hair cut. That was me shading me from inside of me.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Look at me for copying my own haircut. I can't tell who I am anymore. Even I want to be in place. Terraferna. So, so Luan says, right now, I just love being Mrs. Dagestino. I guess about like losing the countess. She's like, I love being Mrs. Dagestino. And Drinner says, right now, I hope forever. Yeah, it's a cool, it's forever. Or at least for the next three weeks, you know what I'm saying. At least until that people magazine money comes out.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Bruns out. So then Andy's like, last year, everyone heard the dick suck around the world or whatever it was. And then Luang, they're about to cut the commercial. And Luang just has this tight smile. She's like, oh, good. Why are they talking about Tom? Why am I bringing this up again? That's so old, such old history. So we see, like a montage of Tom being shifty. And there's like that missy moment where missy, missy says, I find out we weren't dating anymore because I walked in on him and hurt together in a bar and you see the way I'm in the little corny way.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Horrible! Oh, so it's a crime now? It's a crime now to be in a bar. Someone you dated. I don't know. I don't know about my crimes in Missy, Miss D'Aminer. Yes, that's right, I'm aware. I know Missy, Miss D'Aminer.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Who do you who, bitch? Work it? You better work it. you better dip down blah blah blah and I don't know the lyrics no taught me. Missy was just saying past that Dutch and Tom so white that he jumped on her. Who can blame him? I'm sorry that my husband's bilingual. I'm sorry that I get my freak on. Missy.
Starting point is 00:53:07 So anyway, they do this whole montage. And when it's done, the wind just goes, oh boy. And then it makes it, he makes it seem like he's not going to go with on her yet. Because then he's like, so was Sony lying about being invited to the party. Let's clear this up. And so he goes, yes, she invited me to the shower and then she not invited me to the wedding. Just tell the truth, Louanne.
Starting point is 00:53:29 And then he goes, well, look, here's what happened. I gave her a save the date. And then everyone groaned and bething us, we have a weapon. We got a weapon. That's a smoking gun. That's like a save the day, smoking gun. It's like, boom, save the day. you know, it's like boom, saver today.
Starting point is 00:53:45 To be fair, I felt that someone needed to say a friendship he was getting pulled into her web. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:54:43 You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Well, save the date. Save the date. I love Sony and I wanted her there, but then I heard she was talking badly about me in Tom and press, so I held back the physical invitation. Sony's like, yeah, I did say those things sit but I also ended it with saying I would be there for her no matter what so I don't see what the problem is Well, I did send you a paperless post
Starting point is 00:55:14 But I guess you just don't check your emails. Well, I have an apple to GS. What do you expect? paperless What do you use your basement for? What is the paperless post? I don't get it's like page six, but there's no papers like I don't get it Like how do you have any paper no papers? What's mad? What's going on? Yes, Anthony. You look beautiful. Yes, who is paperless post? So
Starting point is 00:55:39 He moves on to Barbara Friend Barbara who got caught on Mike and then tried to get them not to air, friend Barbara who got caught on Mike and then tried to get them not to air the show because she got taught, caught talking shit at a party about missing Tom or whatever. And she truly is the prophetic one here. This is where prophetic comes into use. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Because what was she saying? That what did she said? So I think Carol was talking to Barbara at some party and talking about the upcoming wedding and Barbara's like, well, to be honest, I think she would rather go through it and get divorced later than to call it off. And so that's exactly what happened.
Starting point is 00:56:17 So Barbara is the prophet. Oh, yeah, Barbara. Yeah, they already got the boat. So she's just, you know, going to see that through. Yeah, see the yacht through. And then of course, so she's just, you know, gonna see that through. Yeah. See the yacht through. And then of course, Lewand's furious. And she's like, well, she was a good friend. It was horrible.
Starting point is 00:56:34 And she was making a judgment and I was horrified. And she's like, yeah, well, you know, she got cat, but she's an ex-person. She's so nice. Everyone was like, yeah, Bob is wonderful. Yeah. And we've all said things off-mic or nice. Everyone was like, yeah, Barbara's wonderful. Yeah. And we've all said things off my cool ever. And that thing goes, yeah, yeah, but that was huge. That was huge for Barbara said.
Starting point is 00:56:51 It's like smoking gun. That was like a save the date. It was like a save the marriage. That's what it was. That's what it was. Get it? It was like, save the cock. Save the cock.
Starting point is 00:57:00 It smells like pussy in here, Andy, huh? It smells like save the cock. Save the Thelus Eps. Because she's about to make a huge mistake. Okay? Paperless post. Respond yes or no. No, no, wants to know why you were surprised that you weren't invited to the wedding when you spent all last year investigating behind her
Starting point is 00:57:34 back. And she's like, ah, investigating, I didn't investigate. Okay, I heard something and then I was going to talk about it on the reunion, but then I was like, no, I'm a good person Like I want to know who I am when I watch TV. I don't want to be confused about who that is on the TV So I didn't say anything and they show the clip of her like, oh, so he didn't cheat again Remodeled you have something to say oh Did you have something to say? Oh, well, oh,
Starting point is 00:58:02 mm, mm, mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. She's like, soo from SNL, like, the surprise parties. Oh, I didn't know this was happening. I didn't know this was happening. Mm.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Oh, so she's like, well, he was at the frequency. And then he went to L.A. and kissed that girl again. Okay, and that's it. It was a quote in a paper or something like I didn't do it. I just quoted it and Luma goes, Oh, what kissing someone on the cheek like this. That's making out with someone really, really, really. I'm really. I'm out. He's like, well, yeah, I heard the same thing. Like, look, Luma, like you're selling things to the press, like you're super thirsty. Like they just happened to find you in the Himalayas, like up on a mountain. You're like, yeah, I heard the same thing like look, the way like you're selling things to the press like you're super thirsty like they just happened to find you in the Himalayas like up on a mountain. You're like, oh look, look it's page six like on this mountain and then I mean come on, come on,
Starting point is 00:58:51 come on, seriously. That's the need truly made less sense than one of our riffs. Like she her direct quote was, yeah, you were super thirsty. Like people in the middle of the Hamptons, it was like literally your own glacier and they somehow find you and Tom instead of winner like what? That was happening because she was putting out all those pictures they'd be like look Luandela set spotted on top of a mountain skiing with Tom. Well they didn't just find her on top of a mountain you know.
Starting point is 00:59:19 But Luand was like but I put that on my Instagram. Who is there intentionally? I posted on my Instagram. What's the problem? Paytics. All right, all right. So it was like paytics seriously. But I put that on my Instagram. Who is there intentionally? I posted on my Instagram. What's the problem? Paid six. All right, all right. So it was like Paid six, zero, zero, zero, zero, whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:29 Same thing. Just, no, it's not. It's literally not. That was a sponsored post. So what did Ramona know from last year? And she's like, well, he met a woman from Philadelphia who was recently divorced at the Regency Barney went up to the hotel room with her And he said he had an open relationship, but nothing happened
Starting point is 00:59:51 Which is a lie, obviously, she just said that because she doesn't want to be accused of being nasty to Luan Yeah, she's like nothing happened, okay, and I'm glad I didn't say anything Oh, well, thanks Ramona. Thanks for not saying anything. Wow. Good job, Ramona. So then Andy's like, have you heard things? Have any of you heard things? Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, of course we do. But it's like, it's like, you hear it every day. You know, it's like a Trump tweet. It's like, what are you going to be surprised? Like, uh, Trump made a super tweet. Like, of course, they're married, whatever. They're not married, they have an open relationship,
Starting point is 01:00:27 like whatever, as she'll accept him, like even though his penis is everywhere in the barn, like, whatever, who cares? Like literally, we don't care anymore. And when Mona goes, it's the regency. You need to ban that regency. I mean, she's kind of right. I mean, every time Tom goes to Regency, he gets in trouble.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Heck, it's like I said a few weeks ago, when I met those guys at the Regency, when Michelle and I went to the Regency, and these guys were like, oh yeah, Tom's here all the time, and he's always with a bunch of girls. So even if Tom is totally really, if he really is innocent here, you got to think about Optics, Tom, no more Regency for you. No more hang around the lays, the Regency, okay? Well, that's Tom though, and that's what this whole segment turned into.
Starting point is 01:01:12 She's like, well, you know, Tom is a Tom, and he's a man. What a disabstession with Tom. What's the obsession with Tom? I mean, Ramona calling L.A. to call old girlfriends. I mean, that is Nancy Drew sneaky Nancy Drew sneaky The thing is that Nancy Drew is always on the side of good so He always exposed to terrible things so and it's always like innocent mysteries. It's like someone stole the neighbors hose
Starting point is 01:01:43 You know, I'm gonna find out where that guard knows. I'm gonna put my sweater and my plow on. I'm sorry if Tom has a hidden staircase. Well, I'm sorry that you saw Tom with a lady in a tight sweater and plaid skirt trying to solve mysteries, but that was Nancy Drew Sneaky. Okay. Well, listen, we all have old clocks, okay.
Starting point is 01:02:03 It doesn't mean you have to be Nancy Drew Sneaky, okay, well listen we all have old clocks. Okay, it doesn't mean you have to be Nancy drew sneaky Oh, I'm Beth and he's like what? Romana's delivery sex, but like the information seems true like he seems like the type to go to the bar leave With someone or like call someone, you know like he's a type of guy to call someone a ball and chain and then they cut to Tom being like I gotta take off my dog collar or whatever. And then went to Quillide. I admit. Okay. I admit his humor is a bit off. I'm doing this.
Starting point is 01:02:31 I can't. I'm just telling me to it's human. Sorry. You didn't want anything you said. It's just I love. I sort of love when we when we do Luan and we start getting really emphatic with Luan, however, voice just get so deep and raspy. His humor is a bit off.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I'm sorry. I love how fee Louan took well. And during the day, he's very tolerant to his humor. And, uh, and the question is, so do you want it? Would you want to know? Like if he was cheating, would you want to know? And she, Romana says, no, she doesn't. Okay. No, she doesn't. Yes, I do Ramona. God. I want to know so many things. And then, and then forget them. You know, men in black with a wonderful film. I mean, Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith both in those sunglasses. I thought, how is this gonna work? And then it did. And let me tell you something. That twist at the end when
Starting point is 01:03:34 it turns out that our planet is just a little toy for some other aliens. Wow, blew my mind. Ramonos basically that big, sloppy green monster crawling up the walls trying to eat Tommy Lee she's basically our very own Vincent and Offria of you know what I'm saying I love that kind of pasta even though they're homophobic okay that's one handsome man I bet he knows how to put a bunch of glasses in front of me one with the Keela one with water one with sparkling water okay check check check so this is my favorite thing that Andy does he just starts This is in front of me, one with tequila, one with water, one with sparkling water. Okay. Check, check, check. So this is my favorite thing that Andy does.
Starting point is 01:04:08 He just starts going in. He's like not going to let it go until he gets a cry, you know? So he's like, okay, well thanks for answering all these questions. So they've heard about, you know, Tom cheating. That doesn't raise your radar. He's like, well, of course my radar is raised. But you know what, your antenna raises when you turn on the radio in the car. Does that mean it's cheating on you, Andy?
Starting point is 01:04:30 Think about that. He's like, well, okay. So you have an open marriage. What are you going to say? No, I'm going to say we skipped over like a pretty like important emotional beat, which is that when like talking about all this like all the gossip raising red flags and Luana one point goes well if I have not that Tom cheated I would leave and then everyone was like silent like Oh, so do we tell her do we tell her and the durin does like kill him? Yeah, I wouldn't leave I kill him Yeah preferably at side so I not to clean him up later
Starting point is 01:05:04 And then this is when there's all the talk about the strange humor Or this is like well Tom has a strange sense of humor about the demy he flirts too much etc And that's when Bethany says like honestly like I don't know how you're like cool with all that humor Like you know like if if you had said even one of those jokes like one of any of those many things I would have been crying like I would have been down the floor like they'd leave kill me now like my walls will be down I'd be crying I'd be mess like kill me one of his jokes like I'd be dead and then that's when the way I go Well, why do you think I stayed at the hotel last night? Okay? I don't and then it was like weird it was like
Starting point is 01:05:35 It's like damn because it was like the first time she really admitted that shit was going down, you know I like when Bethany said um, well, I mean, you know like Tom must be just doing that stuff because he's insecure because it's not like he's like a Famer like why would he want the attention of coming on TV just like look like a pig and like get a national land-based You know a national land-based thing or whatever and remember and it's like what he's for Mace. He's flirtatious He goes too far. Okay. It's like hand-based thing like Bethany said It's not okay.based thing like Beth and he said it's nuts, okay? Okay, Ramona And everyone is like you're afraid to feel like we all are it's okay. You can feel we all feel Don't be afraid to win the reason you're afraid to feel things is because I suffer from abuse is a child okay
Starting point is 01:06:20 Oh god Ramona Like seriously shut up animal So that Andy's like what about how does your fam what is your your family thing like what's going on? And the way I'm like well, you know, it knows how to honor time, you know, because he hears all these things But you know they're working on it's very tough. I think Ramona goes. He's a man who loves his mother That's why he doesn't get yelled at all the time. Okay, like a free. Okay, and I was like, well, you know, I like to be the tough guy and everyone looks at me to be the tough, strong countess who has got everything going on.
Starting point is 01:06:56 And, you know, it's like trying to keep up with countess or whatever. And Bethany's like, oh yeah, you got a countess shield. You got the countess shield that goes right up. It's like, boom, countess shield. So, yes. Thank you and Bethany's like oh, yeah, you got a counter shield you got the counter shield that goes right up It's like blue counter shield. So yes. Thank you Bethany. It's like a Countess dome It's like that wonderful CBS show behind the dome. That's basically a story about me. I'm in a dome It's so a dome it looks it looks angelic and you don't really know why that little world is trapped But before you know it the humans just start blowing each other up and no one can breathe in there anymore.
Starting point is 01:07:27 And that's why I stayed to throw a towel right now. So now they're jumping on the way and for not putting your foot down at Tom, the same thing's like, well, why don't you say you can't go to the Regency or why don't you say, listen, I don't want you having lunch without a girl that you were making out with while you're seeing me. Like, why don't you say, well, I've suggested these things to him. He's a bachelor. He's lived his life as a bachelor.
Starting point is 01:07:46 It's very hard to do. Having changed his ways. It's difficult. I try. I try. Yeah. Which is all for getting really 50. He has friends.
Starting point is 01:07:54 So he sees some of his exes, you know, it happens when you date a lot of people. I go out with Jacques. And I was like, that's the best thing to make out with Jacques. Well, yeah, how do we know? Of course, he makes that with Jacques. Yeah. And then I like Ramona's the best thing to make out with Jock. Well, yeah. How do we know? Of course she makes that with Jock. Yeah. And then I like Ramona. She just goes, listen, she has accepted him for who he is and that's it.
Starting point is 01:08:12 And she's more than willing to accept it. And the way it goes, Ramona, don't speak for me please. Don't speak for me. I'm like, I love that Luan just did Diane Weas. Like that. That's like my dream come true. Don't speak. Don't speak speak don't speak. God. Don't speak Ramona. I Know what you're saying
Starting point is 01:08:33 Don't speak you're gonna watch this and you're gonna be like oh my god. Who's that girl? My goodness, so what a fun reunion. I was laughing my ass off that whole time. Oh my goodness. So what a fun reunion. I was laughing my ass off that whole time. Oh my goodness. So, so excellent. So you ready to do a little below dick? Um, can I, you know, think sin bad before we go into below dick? I have a Christ sake, mead and thank you. Thank you. And baked had a stink thin bar. I had a smoke out the screen door. And now we're back for the below deck med reunion. But before we start, while we were taking our little coffee break,
Starting point is 01:09:16 we got some great news. And that is we're going to have a celebrity merch tender selling our merchandise at the L.A. So with Jeff Tenney engaged and that merch tender is Miss Katie Kizorla of the Second Wives Club. Yeah, so this is like chock full of stars everywhere everywhere. There there may be some people you know that I'll just like come falling out of the sky with the power will be falling out of the sky.an okay, there it is
Starting point is 01:09:47 Luan is gonna sky dive into the show will be like and now and wow can you believe it girl Here I am missing do the daggistino Do the just blank she just leaves it like. Do the Delis Epso. I didn't have time to rewrite this song, so. Now I'll do the. I was going to actually make a Luan divorce song, but I haven't had time, but I'll try my best before it becomes just totally my best.
Starting point is 01:10:20 I will love again. Genese, Quason, Chacotobi, Tray, I will love again. Oh my God. That's funny. Okay. So there is a reason.
Starting point is 01:10:40 My first thought watching the Spelodek reunion was, there is a reason that the housewives do it how they do it. So what the housewives do traditionally four weeks before the show is done airing, they send all the housewives a final four episodes of right before they have to shoot the reunion. So they have to binge watch them realize what they're pissed about at the season finale and then shoot it while the show is still airing because they have to edit and produce and do all that shit.
Starting point is 01:11:05 So below deck didn't get that. They all saw the season, they've all had time, then they did a reunion. And they got time to talk first. And you could tell because they came in here with some lies. Okay. These people came in here ready to just lie and cover for each other and it was touching actually I thought I was touching that they were like I was like see
Starting point is 01:11:29 this is people who actually work for a living treat each other they're like well we don't have to ruin each other's lives on TV all right I law all lie about you not you know putting a brick through Malee's windshield and you can lie about you know whatever What do you think? My lie detection was not on. I have to say, I mean, I was watching it late at night. So I was not, I was not watching it thinking that they lied. My takeaway was, it felt rushed. It felt like they had probably two episodes worth, but they only had an order for one, so they condense it all down.
Starting point is 01:12:09 The entire episode was Andy being like, Malia, how did you feel about being slut-shamed? Well, I was a little bummed by it. Okay, Hannah, what do you think about crackers? Whale? I think they're great. Okay, what about espresso martinis? It was question after question after question. Which in one, in a certain way,
Starting point is 01:12:25 I appreciate, like let's cover as much territory as possible, but I also felt like, I felt like they really were cramming a lot into one hour. Also, I like that they got a reunion at all and they did it on the watch what happens live set. But even if you're gonna do it on that set, get some nice chairs or something, like putting people in tall stools, like tall barstools. It's like all right go down to the the cafeteria and grab some of those tools and just make people sit on these
Starting point is 01:12:52 Schools awkwardly, you know, and then you know the guys have gained weight because yeah, you know They don't have to be TV. So they're like back to eating and they're more max like a bowling it his yeah Max and we're both Max get pulling his vest, which is also known as man's banks. Like that's natural man's banks for us like a test. I think Max actually looked more or less the same, but West definitely had packed it on and even Adam. But one thing that was strange to me,
Starting point is 01:13:19 and I did post this on my Instagram, there's like a picture in the clubhouse, which I hadn't noticed before. I think it may be Andy when he was younger, but it's like, it's from far away or whatever. It looked just like me. And I was, it was really weird. I was like, for a moment I thought there was a picture of me at the clubhouse. I'm not even lying. I'm not even trying to be narcissistic. I was like, wait a second. I thought maybe I took a picture with someone who had like with Amy Phillips or something that then somehow I wound up in the clubhouse But it was just Andy someone's snuck you in there. I was like is that me?
Starting point is 01:13:51 I'm having an eye out of body inception experience. Oh one day, Ben one day someday day to dream someday We'll be bartenders on that show someday Good only dream so yeah, you go through a moment by moment of this right? What do you want to do? I'll do whatever you want to do I talk about what I for some reason I just wrote so many notes But it wasn't like they were amazing notes. I just became a stenographer and I was just typing every single thing Because because I kept on typing on spec that's one thing that happens when we cover below deck the regular show There's so much stuff that happens You never know if it's gonna lead to something important or if it's gonna lead to a scene or if it's just gonna be a random
Starting point is 01:14:29 Shot of Lauren ironing which he does more than just doing ironing So I just wrote everything. I mean, I was like Adams buzz cut is rough, you know, but his hair is darker Bob is getting his abs together I mean, I always take notes like like that so that's what mine is mine I like to mine says so many spray tans um Wes is cute with love fat Hannah chugging champagne and I said how wrote I can't wait for the Hannah in bed montage like the inevitable Hannah being lazy montage it's like my favorite thing from the season. Well Hannah my second because my first is Lauren folding napkins my favorite thing. Well season. Well, Hannah, my second, because my first is Lauren Folding napkins. Let's take my favorite thing.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Well, Hannah's always good for a passive aggressive moment, and she does not disappoint because Andy asks, so Hannah, who's your dream team of stews? From either below deck or below deck med? And she's like, oh, well, that's easy. I think that my dream team would be Julia, Tiffany, Lauren. Pretty much anyone except for Bugsie. She literally named every stew from below deck med except for Bugsie. I was like, wow, no Bugsie, no
Starting point is 01:15:34 K-Chustain either, by the way, or your K-Chustain. But I probably mean things that she didn't realize the regular Bolo deck part of it. Oh yeah. So someone from Ithica wants to know, yeah, the Dream Crew. And then Hannah thought Captain Style was a pain in the ass or whatever. And she's like, oh, they show a montage of Captain Sandy. Like, well, you know, blow up the banana. God, I love that banana.
Starting point is 01:15:59 He has anybody wiped down those counters yet, because that needs to be done. Hey, Hannah, why don't you put all this stuff away properly? Hannah's like, I'd rather do it. Look, you know, before I take an app, well, no, you're going to take an app. You're going to take a big long nap and then you're going to put away the stuff on the counters and then take another nap. Hey, there's no reason a captain can also be a coach. And sometimes you need to listen to your coach Hey, Sandy, so how did you feel about Adam thinking that you were the first two? Oh, that's okay
Starting point is 01:16:31 I like the surprise of teaching dumb men that I'm much more powerful than I am. That's a good time And then that path surprise you take the lot out of me. So you know what time for little brands. You know when then an app I love when people look at it. It's like always staring in the very ending of the crying game, every time I get on the new board. Oh, yeah, it's like when people get out on that raft and they're like, hey, what's the yacht doing?
Starting point is 01:16:55 And I say it's an anchors anchoring. They say, what? I didn't know that existed. And they say, yeah, it does. And look at the surprise look on their faces. What a great moment for all of us. Well, this season Bobby's vessel sank when he couldn't get women on his vessel because Hannah was blocking his port. Yeah, eventually. Okay. Hannah cock blocking montage. I'm not friend. This montage my favorite with them going wait a minute Lauren are you lying or is who's lying here because someone's lying in
Starting point is 01:17:27 Lauren goes I'll be the liar fine. I'll be the liar. It's like you are the liar which could be a lie in and of itself So why didn't why didn't Lauren have Bobby's back against Hannah and she's like I don't remember what was happening at this time, but like, I knew not to be on his team because he brought me to watch what happens live with two other girls. So yeah, and Bobby's like, oh, well, I brought them because I want to get the fans involved. So I had seats for the other girls at the clubhouse and Andy's like, I don't know how I feel about you bringing strange fans at the clubhouse. Like, who wants some random people, pervy people in the crowd while I talk about people's tits and dicks. Yes, this is for close people only, okay. Yeah, like this is only for the cool kids, all right, before I started asking people like who's crotchy like more. You can tell he was really mad too, by the way, that wasn't him making a joke, that wasn't being like, um,
Starting point is 01:18:24 you're not on a premium franchise, you do not get to invite randos to my show. Yeah, I thought it was like, why didn't you just leave? You know, like, no one's making you stay there. And she's like, I did try to leave. And then you said, no, don't leave because I'm like, Ind because my mom remembers. Mom. And it's like, so Lauren, did you go to a party with Bobby but leave with Ben, which to me, by the way, like, who cares?
Starting point is 01:18:53 But anyway, so Lauren's like, yeah, because I wanted the party and Bobby totally ignored me at this viewing party but then Ben came over and he was talking to me. So yeah, I went on with Ben because like, why wouldn't I? Yeah, because then it was talking to me. So yeah, I went out with Ben. And Bobby's just mad because like, he thought he was the one who's gonna be on BullaDec.
Starting point is 01:19:13 And like, he doesn't understand that like a producer can find me just as entertaining. Lauren was being a little ridiculous during this reunion. But you know, the issue is trying. She was trying. She was like, fuck, I want to get back on this boat. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it.
Starting point is 01:19:34 I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. I'm not sure if you're gonna get it. like he was ignoring me so yeah I went home with Ben Bob you had time to finesse this and Bobby is such an easy mark he gets so easy rolled up he's like I want you to know that these two are lying through their teeth it's like okay Bobby
Starting point is 01:19:54 he's like I don't know what I I don't know I did either of you guys deserve to be this be back to have like this and Hannah's like I don't know maybe slut shame people in my TV and he goes oh who's one bad word I said yes, look Who's slut and she's like chugging her champagne and Lauren's like the owner own it like you know You call me a liar like own it. I don't even know what she's talking about and Bobby's like I have like kilometers full like Length of text, okay? It's like insane as long as the firehouse. You want me to read them? I brought a lot of freedom right now
Starting point is 01:20:29 There's so many texts here that you have to go 16 knots per hour just to get through all of them. See Sandy. I want to be a captain And you're like what he's like what did the text prove like what are in these texts? And he's like um that Lauren came and like, she came to me hammered and I haven't given her attention. So she left with Ben. Okay. That's okay. I think we were in the...
Starting point is 01:20:53 And then Bob is like, no, here's what really happened. Okay. Oh, Lauren was hammered and she was mad because she wasn't getting enough attention from me. And the text showed that. And then Andy's like, who cares? I'm like, I normally I would agree with you Andy, but you did open this stupid kind of worm. Yeah, it's like who cares? I'm probably like, cause they're saying stuff on social media
Starting point is 01:21:11 about me like, I'm an asshole. And Lauren's like, well, that's not a lie. And Bobby said, yeah, you said, I'd fuck Ben and I told Ben, you know what, I'm done with her. So you could banger. And that's the truth. That's what really happened. I was like, okay. So you're saying that it was a lie because she didn't add in the part where you gave Another man permission to fuck the woman you were trying to fuck while you're arguing that you're not a misogynist Like and Lauren and Lauren me but me mommy and Lauren is She's she doesn't get off free either because apparently her tech said if you don't give me attention I'm going to fuck Ben.
Starting point is 01:21:45 So she was being drunkenly manipulative and not even manipulative just drunkenly ridiculous. And it makes sense. She was in the hospitality industry for many years. Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, you want me to read the facts and they kept over talking him and he's like, ah, that's why I can't get the truth out. You guys won't shut up. And then they just, they just never go back to, you know, they never let him finish. That's why I can't get the truth out you guys more shut up And then they just they just never go back to you know they never let him finish
Starting point is 01:22:17 Yeah, so then if I did Bobby ever apologize to Hannah for yelling at her about Melia because if you remember There was that scene earlier in the season when Hannah Melia were friends one hand was like a rotten They're strip and Bob that was when Bobby was hot and heavy on Melia when he was trying to be the one to Hannah Malia were friends when Hannah was like, all right, name's strip. And Bob, that was when Bobby was hot and heavy at Malia when he was trying to be the one to get Malia. And he was paranoid that Hannah had been talking shit to Malia about him based off of this Lauren and Bobby situation that happened preseason. And so if you remember, Bobby was like, were you guys talking about me and Malia's like, Oh, yeah, learning all your secrets as a joke, he's like, so we went and attacked Hannah and said that she was cock about me and the lady was like, oh yeah, learning all your secrets. As a joke, he's like, whoa.
Starting point is 01:22:45 So he went and attacked Hannah and said that she was cock blocking. And the question is, did he ever apologize for that? And he's like, oh, we went by so quickly. I was like, so that's a no, you never apologized. Yeah. And Laura's like, I want to get one thing straight. I used Bobby to get on the show. They're like, did Lauren use Bobby to get on the show?
Starting point is 01:23:03 And she's like, ah, I used Bobby to get on the show. They're like, did Lauren use Bobby to get on the show and she's like, I used to probably get to watch what happens. Then a producer liked me on the show. How's that? Yeah, she's like, she's like kind of arguing, but not. Yeah. And Hannah said that she hadn't spoken into Bobby since Watcher Happens Live because I guess Hannah thought the question was about if Bobby had apologized since Watcher Happens Live and that they hadn't talked since then. And Andy was like, okay, next question. I was like, well, he really wants to move this along. Yeah. And then there's an ad. And I have to just talk about this real quick,
Starting point is 01:23:33 because it's that one with a math teacher with like a braid bun on his head. And he's like, it's for the Windows 10 tablets. And he's like, they call me the rhyming teacher. And he's like, division plus three is division with me or whatever his rhyme is. And then he's like, I have a Windows tablet because it really helps me get my my math rhymes together. He's using the stylus to like highlight his stupid rhymes.
Starting point is 01:24:00 No, it's like windows like you guys seriously. Yeah, they struggle. They they try so hard like they they literally sponsored the NFL and and for like a season or two, every coach and player on the sideline when they were looking to play books, it was on those surface tablets and still no one buys them. NFL couldn't even get it. So You're giving off this touchscreen tablet computer hybrid, which is pretty cool with a stylus and all this. Highlighting artists, like that lady is like,
Starting point is 01:24:31 I think I was one with a crayon in my head. Oh god, I hate it that's a pretty cool thing. Yes, but at least she was drawing something, but he's using a stylus to highlight his math rhymes. It's kind of good with this. There's awful people who try to teach kids things. So no, right, you guys. I mean, trying to teach math through rhymes.
Starting point is 01:24:53 It's just disgusting. You're an animal, Steve. I am the pentameter. Like you're an animal. Like an animal. Like I'll see, I know I am a pentameter and more shut up pentameter. How about some cock pentameter? Cock penis.
Starting point is 01:25:07 Fuzzy. That's what I said. It's like, OK, Lauren, we get it. Yeah. So now there's talk about. On your date. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, though, there's one thing about does Bobbi wants
Starting point is 01:25:20 to know, OK, oh, yeah, sorry. My notes are like a disaster cuz it was late at night So the question is did Bobby think that Hannah was actually talking shit about him to Malia and Hannah was and Hannah says On a sleep olby honey Honey if they've been audio of it it produces what have used it honey, and I was like I agree so Bobby should shut up Yeah, I thought that's a good point. Yeah I agree. So Bobby should shut up. Yeah, I think that that's a good point.
Starting point is 01:25:46 Yeah. Um, and you should realize that. Like, I'm not saying that because Hannah's been on the show me like Hannah, it's like very obvious. If there have been, if there have been audio of it, for sure, we, not only would we have seen it, you would have been a whole plot line. So, you know, well, and she said the same thing on the show that she said to us, because I was like, so what did happen? Like you went into the room and then we heard you making out or whatever. She says, well, you saw me walking towards the room and then you hurt. You saw a door close, but you didn't see me go in. And I was like, yeah, but wait, but then we heard making out.
Starting point is 01:26:17 I don't know. I was confused. I'm a guest. I flared in three door. How about this? And she said that on here too. She's like, you didn't actually see me in the room. You saw a door close But wait, what's happening here? And then they're like so did you bone him? How long were you in there?
Starting point is 01:26:32 It's like no, we did not yeah, all right. There's a kissy kiss. That's it. I mean, but wasn't that later? I'm trying to find where I am later that that that I'm just talking about the Malia part. Yeah, you're you're I didn't know where I like I like that you're like yeah it's funny because she said this later in the reunion then he'd do the whole thing and go but wasn't that later I'm like you're the one brought up I told you my that's where my mind is today and now I'm looking at these notes and the onions onions onion if I did a word search on onions in this page it would be like 100,000 found 100,000 so it's now the onion segment. And they're like, so Adam, like, why did you do that? He goes, I was just trying to make a really tasty broth.
Starting point is 01:27:12 But then I got spiteful. And he says, you can't make a broth with that onions. And he said, well, I guess you can. And he goes, so you hated the guests and Hannah's like, I think he hated me at that time. I think that was that was a little way of communication, honey. And Sanj is like, well, if I had known that he'd lied to me a third time, I would have fired him. And I was really disheartened by Adams behavior towards the woman. Yeah, I didn't really like that. You know, that's not the guy I knew every morning. The guy I saw every morning, I'd say, hardly doodly neighbor. And he'd say, well, hello, Captain. What a lovely day. Would you like your neck? Possibly, you know, with some action? Yeah. And I said, I love that banana. And every day you'd have a little banana there. I mean, what a sweet guy. I was disheightened.
Starting point is 01:28:00 I couldn't believe how deceptive he was. Every day I said, you have any spinach for the salmon, you always say, sorry, we're all out. I don't have any spinach. Not at all. Little did I realize that there was a direct Adam to Malia spinach pipeline going on Little did I know someone was trading vagina The promise of a vagina for a side of spinach, okay? It's like that Paula Abdul song promise of a new day except instead of day spinach In it's a new for Jay, okay, that was that was the song and The ad am I kept asking over and over like Adam? Do you regret it? Adam? Are you sorry? Adam? How bad do you feel? Adam do realize that you're a misogynist prick now? Adam, do you hate
Starting point is 01:28:45 yourself as much as America hates you? But Adam is, but Adam is like, you know, so Adam because he's, he, he seems very shrewd to me. And of course, he knows how to do an apology tour. And he was basically, and he was like, why did you act that way? And he's like, huh, I was a little heartbroken. I was so heartbroken. And he's like about Malia and she's like, well, yeah, like some of it's understandable, like heartbreak sucks, but like it's not an excuse, okay? I think the reason, well, he is what you gotta do.
Starting point is 01:29:17 You gotta be responsible. All right, heartbreak is no excuse for bad work. I'm like, you fucking employed, dude. Like, you should just letaliah cover this, okay? Yeah, although it, you know, I don't buy any of it. And I actually think that the reason why he added all those onions was just that way he had an excuse to cry. I'm just so heartbroken, bro. Look at my tears. If I stop cutting onions, how am I going to get my lead to believe that I really
Starting point is 01:29:41 love with her later, Skater? So now it's the Jason segment because these segments are flying. They they really fly by. And so Andy he cues it up by saying, well, Jason was going to give a tip to the crew, but it looks like Hannah wanted his entire tip for sale because she is a woman. He likes to suck. God, I'm Andy going.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Yeah, right after the Adam, are you a misogynist? It's segment. Anyway. So we see the little montage, which of course features that the scene it showed so many times all season. Jason. Jason?
Starting point is 01:30:21 Jason? Jason? She goes bounding off into the corner. and she came ready with her apologies as well She's like look what I did. It's never okay, but I mean he had his shirt off all right I made a mistake 100 again was it a delicious mistake that I'd write all the way into the sunset yes Was it my favorite mistake Cheryl crew? Yes. Is it forgivable? No. Put me in love, Jail. All right.
Starting point is 01:30:47 Put me in a jail with bar-so-made appendices. Right. If you prick me, do I not bleed? Actually, I don't. But thanks for pricking me. Is the point, honey. How do you prick me? Of course bugs will try to prick me.
Starting point is 01:31:02 That might be right. When Hannah's doing this whole apology, or not apology, her explaining herself as in a stake, Bugsie's just rolling her eyes. It is fully like, boom, that's the sound of her eyeballs going from one side to the other. Yeah, Bugsie came in that mode of like,
Starting point is 01:31:15 I'm gonna get her. I'm gonna show everyone, because everything Hannah said, she was like, oh, every time they showed Bugsie's face, she's like, oh, I'm so mad. I'm so mad for art now, I can scream, Daisy! Yeah, so then Bugsie said she agrees
Starting point is 01:31:32 that she should have gone to Sandy first, but that she wasn't trying to, but then she says she wasn't trying to be vindictive or malicious when she went to Bobby. And then Hannah's like, then why'd she carry around for 10 hours, honey? Why'd she do that? And Bugsie's like, I put it down. I had better things to do with my life.
Starting point is 01:31:48 It's been 10 hours talking about Hannah, or I've better things to see with my life, you know. It was the most property. And so that's what Hannah's like, well, 12 p.m. You found it, and at 10 p.m. I'll find out about it. So what happened between the hours of 12 p.m. and 10 p.m. I'll find out about it. So what happened between the hours of 12 p.m. and 10 p.m. honey? I was doing all your work. She's like putting up a board with pins and string. Like a serial film in case. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:15 He's. Well, Bugsie did kind of bust Hannah. She definitely got her on something because Hannah's whole thing was that, well, I liked you until you showed that you were in loyal to me when you showed everyone that I pat. And so Bugs is until you show that you were in loyal to me when you showed everyone that I pat and so bugs is like well if you were loyal to me like you said why didn't you why'd you only tell Lauren that you Kiss Jason you didn't tell me because obviously you felt certain sort of way about me. I was like oh she kind of got you Hannah Yeah, well maybe because we weren't friends bitch, but instead Hannah's like well I was suspicious because when I read over your resume, it's a
Starting point is 01:32:46 genetic thing experience. And she's like, well, I'm sorry to have an education. I'm sorry I have dreams of being in the revival of Oklahoma and also want to be in the year. So sorry for playing one of the witches in that Shakespeare play. Right boy, boy, bubble trouble, whatever, you you know even those women didn't pull out an iPad I'm starting texting a guest you know. I'm say sorry that I audition for big the musical. I'm say sorry Who hasn't wanted to be a little bit of Perkins learning today on a giant piano? Susumi to sue me. Uh, so then of course, yeah, but why would you be out waitress?
Starting point is 01:33:27 Like, why are you going to be out waitress on a boat if you want to be an actress? I'm like, honey, do you know how many people went to acting school who are not actresses right now? Like, what are you doing waiting on my table? Aren't you supposed to be an actress? Like, I'm sure. I'm not giving you my order. So then, um then the question is,
Starting point is 01:33:45 why was it okay for Bobby to hook up with a guest, you know, after all the grief he gave to Hannah. And Bobby goes, well, if there's a love interest on a charter guest, go for it. I'm like, somewhere Danny from season one is furious, furious. And the captain's like, no, it's against the law. Okay. I don't care about that. I just cared about the iPad stuff, you know, because then
Starting point is 01:34:12 she was talking bad about us and the iPad. She did not. She said she was surprised that you guys got that much of a tip. Okay. That's all she said in that. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So then Jason apparently had said I watched happen's lives that he didn't go in for the kiss when he was hanging out with Hannah and Hannah's like, Oh, you know, I just like to stay at the pot. Yeah. We don't date. I just send him eggplant emojis. Right? Is that so wrong? And then he sends me the hands up in the air. And then I send him back like a strawberry in a Chinese flag and then he says WTF And I say gotcha and then he'll send back like a kissy lip
Starting point is 01:34:52 And the only reason why I said him so many eggplant emojis is because I just love Bob a Ganesh I'm in the captain's like oh, well hi guys look who's here. It's me, Captain Sandy. Still sitting here way over at the end. With this crazy, but I'll take it. I love a stool. I saw that Hannah lied to me about that. You know, and I thought it's like Hannah and Adam's job. Was it to cook and you know, leadership? No, it was to lie.
Starting point is 01:35:19 That was their jobs. The reason I create camaraderie is so you can come talk to me, you know, you can talk to me about what do you think of the banana? For example, you know, I know I love it. Who else? And it's like, but she don't believe me and she goes you said he kissed you huge lie huge difference And she's like, well, you didn't just see the door close any kept in honey Hannah's lips were so first because when she gets angry, she just cannot hide it.
Starting point is 01:35:46 She does that thing. Her lips closed down and her eyes are just like bulging. Yeah, she wanted to strangle Captain Sandy. And it's very difficult to believe that Hannah's traveling to truth on this. I'm sorry. Because also Hannah is very, she shows she wears her emotions on her sleeve, you know,
Starting point is 01:36:01 which is always the funniest thing about her. Whether she's pissed, happy, sad, whatever. Like you could just read her eyes. And she's like, Andy goes, so it was only a kiss and she's like, Yis. And her eyes are like darting around. And everyone's just quiet
Starting point is 01:36:16 because everyone knows that shit. And Bugsie's just smiling like, girl, please. So then we move on to Malia. It's Malia time. It's a Malia and Adam origin story. And so we heard from Adam, he's like, yeah, actually, he was really a jerk like I try talking to him I'd be like, hey, I'm Malia and then he just like be mean to me and Andy says so nothing happened before charter and then everyone's quiet again See this is what I mean. It's not lying. It's like getting together and agreeing like Okay, Hannah. We'll let you get away with the we just kissed. Okay. Yeah, that's fine Okay, Adam
Starting point is 01:37:04 We'll get away with you and Malia saying that you only kissed at yacht camp. Exactly. That can't be true. And he's like, well, we kiss and Wes goes, Oh, so that was physical. That was the physical relationship you had. My quest, they're lying. So you don't get mad. You poor thing. Are you the only one who doesn't see this? And Andy, I mean, Andy could smell the bullshit. And he was like, so you kissed her. All he did was kiss, but then you told her that you loved her and then Adam's like, yeah, it was one of those feelings, man. Like my parents been together for four years
Starting point is 01:37:34 and they say, you know it when you know it. And so love is love and I felt, I felt love, felt love with her just off the kiss, just a kiss. Yeah, it's romantic. You know, just like when my dad was sleeping in his van and he saw my mom walk into a rest stop And he's like I love that woman and now look here I am skater I knew I love to yeah, and he's like he's like a you know
Starting point is 01:37:56 It's the first time I had a chance to get laid on a boat basically. I'm always on these boats I've never had any interest in anyone or no one's had interest in me or whatever. And I was like, I'm gonna get laid on a boat. Fuck, yes. Like this, the bedroom's gonna be so much bigger than the vans. And then Malia goes, yeah, well, it's hard to meet girls in the van. I love the poor situation. So Malia and Adam both regret not being up front with everyone in the beginning. They had some bullshit lie about why they wouldn't, they want, like you just want to
Starting point is 01:38:31 be judged on their own, et cetera. I'm like, no, you probably, like, didn't want, like, you probably didn't want your story arc on TV to be wrapped up in each other. You probably wanted to just, I don't know, I don't know why I say this is if it's like a big scandal like this is the truth. They didn't want their story arcs to be mixed up with each other. They want separate story arcs. Well, they won't even be honest about what they did. I mean, it's so obvious that everybody's just lying and letting each other get away with it. And they, Andy won't let it go either.
Starting point is 01:39:01 He's like, so Wes, how does it feel seeing on TV Knowing how much Malia lied to your face Wes is like she never lied. All right, you know Adam and I were clear We're cutting for the same girl and he goes yeah, but did you know he loved her? And he's like no and if he said he was in love with her I would have begged off. I love a good mom-a-dad mating story But you know, I mean Adam is a dumbass. If he really did love her, which I'm not even so sure that's true. I think he, I think that's like an after the fact thing. So that way it makes sense why he was acting so erratic in the kitchen and being such an asshole because he was a
Starting point is 01:39:38 hard-working man, he's romantic. If he really loved her, I'm like, of course he should have said something and he, I think he would have said something and he would have, at the very least, he should have said something. And I think he would have said something. And he would have, the very least he would have said something to Malia. He would have said, I have real feelings for you. Like, like, like, this isn't, you know, this is real for me. Well, that's a very sad to Malia. Yeah, but all of a sudden now, like, that's the thing about Adam. That's too creepy.
Starting point is 01:40:00 Yeah. Well, exactly. Yeah. He lives in a van. He lives in a van. OK lives in a van. Okay. He already has a low creepy bar. He can at that point, he can say anything. He's like, I ate my burgers and it was still be kind of less creepy.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Yeah. So the then the next question is, what was the rest of the crew upset about the lies? I mean, I guess Wes is going to still kid himself, anybody else? And Bob is like, I didn't is gonna still kid himself anybody else and Bobby's like You know is going on to the filming was over Crazy I got home and I saw it and I was like what
Starting point is 01:40:40 And and Mexicas I believe the word is shocked shocked is the word like no greases the word Acting came am greases the word miss actress. Oh, damn it. That's why I didn't get the part in that show. Max is like, these birds. She comes on the back. She says, Oh, where? Uh, bird. You can't read the faces. And then it's like, Malia was Malia leading the guys on. And she's like, yes, but, you know, the experience was super intense and extreme and yada, yada, yada, yada. And then Adam starts saying, he says something about somehow it gets, it gets back to this idea of that they kissed once and it becomes clear. Adam says, like, I could have just admitted, like, yeah, we were physical. I know that girl,
Starting point is 01:41:19 we were physical. And then Andy's like, wait a minute. I thought you said it was just a kiss. And he's like, pause. Everybody's looking at each other. Like, uh-oh, he's ruining the agreement on himself. And he's like, uh-uh, well, heavy kiss. And he's like, no sex. He's like, yeah, yeah, it was a heavy, heavy kiss thing. And Andy goes, how do you classify sex? And Malia's just looking at him like, don't you dare, sir.
Starting point is 01:41:42 We agreed over a side salad at Chili's last night. He's like, yeah, they just hold on. I don't know. Never had sex. Don't know what it don't know what that is. So then speaking of KG, then we have Wes and Maleo. Hey, are you guys still together? And it's not saying either yes or no, they're like, weird about it. And then West is like, you know, we, or one of them says, I don't remember for Western media that they see each other every now and then. So I'm like, okay, so that means no, that means they're not and they hook up occasionally. But then they have the same room in New York. And oh,
Starting point is 01:42:18 by the way, they're officially a couple. I'm like, why are you guys being so, like, this is the least interesting couple on the entire show, West and Malia. Like why are you being cagey? Even Andy was getting into it. He was like, don't lie to Mama. Yeah, because they're like, well this is what really ruined it. Was that everybody was in our relationship and knew everything. So let's lie and hide it. She's hiding it so she can still keep doing shit and saying she's not in a relationship.
Starting point is 01:42:41 Stop. Don't you ever learn. Yeah, poor West. And then Adam's saying, it's like, no, I'm not in love relationship. Stop. Don't you ever learn? Yeah, poor Wes. And then Adam's saying is like, no, I'm not love 30 more. We all hung out last night. It was great. I was nothing but the best for them. Just like Atlanta saying, nothing but the best for the best. Like that ship is sealed. Get it? I didn't until I just said it right now. But you know, now I get that saying. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:04 ship is then I'm not. So then Andy's asking who on the boat has actually hooked up and in terms of the Bobby and and and Bugsie may have even hooked up. And then Bugsie goes, brother for another mother or something like. Hands like you do that with your brother. And then Bugsie's face just gets straight and she goes, he was a joke. It was a joke, Andy. He's like, I don't get any of you people.
Starting point is 01:43:28 And then Hannah, I love Hannah, she's like, oh, well, you know, I'm doing Bugsie boys. She's like, I always kiss people on the lips when I'm drunk. That's just what I do. I didn't hook up with people. I just get drunk and kiss them on the lips and ask them to strip down for me. And then we have sex. That's all. That's all. So I grabbed his dick in the kitchen. I also fell on my head and my them to strip down for me and then we have sex that's all that's all. So I grabbed his dick in the kitchen I also fell on my head am I dating the floor? Honey. Honey. So the lead deck thing was did West just choose Malia as the lead deck hand was West thinking with his deck. So I mean these these interiors and he's like, well, are staying by it? Oh, no,
Starting point is 01:44:08 the yeah, I said I stand by it and the captain's like, where's is the professional Malia asked questions on the bridge, she'd come up and she'd say, what's bridge? And I say, it's a card game, it's also the office environment you're staying again right now with the steering wheel. Okay. And I texted Bobby. I said, look, if I knew that you wanted to know stuff, I would have taught him, but he was never on the bridge.
Starting point is 01:44:33 I don't know. How was I supposed to know he wanted things? And then people are like, someone asked, hey, Bobby, why are you such a man, baby, about this whole lead decant situation with Malia? And he's like, I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm always whining. Why? What is that?
Starting point is 01:44:48 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. And Malia's like, well, Bobby's a great guy, you know? He was upset and hurt that he was only when I wouldn't like make out with or whatever.
Starting point is 01:45:00 And Lauren goes, whatever, you deserved your position. Okay, you deserved that. I know about Dakkat, like leading Dakkans, I'm like, you deserve that. Girl, she's like, thanks Lauren. God, man. High five, high five. And he's like, nope, still not gonna do it.
Starting point is 01:45:17 And Wes is like, oh I'm proud. You know, look at all these people, having such success in the industry, Bobby, head six with that hooker from the bait. He's also still sweeping floors eventually, you know, somewhere, Max, you know, Max is taking pictures outside the Queen Mary and Long Beach and charging five dollars. I mean, that's something. Here's what I say. The proof is in the pudding. Okay, Andy? Uh, uh, I know. Adam was like, uh, I put on an ins and that putting.
Starting point is 01:45:46 So now we go on to Bugsie and Hannah Drama. And so first question for everyone, who does the group think is a better student? Hannah or Bugsie? Everyone's like, we don't want to get involved. So finally, Hannah then attempts to be a politician and she's like, I just want to be clear, Bugs is a good, a very good stew. And I'm being totally sincere right now. See, she's really great. This can be refilled right because I'd finished just like five minutes ago.
Starting point is 01:46:20 Is there anyone else here? You know, if Bugs was my stew, my Glacier Shoos would have been refilled by me. I'll give her that. And Bugsie's like, no, buying it. Like her eyes. She's like, whatever. Bugs was so annoying. And Lauren, meanwhile, Lauren had to have her moment to say, you know, I did so much more than laundry. Like, you just don't see it. Obviously, it's me laundry, but the other things I was doing, I'm just like alone to like the camera's didn't have to be there, but like you didn't see. Like I was like literally behind the yacht, swimming behind it, pushing it and kicking.
Starting point is 01:46:50 Like that yacht move because of me. Yeah, it's like really tough, like what was going on. Like who's the best chiefs to have out? Who's the best like at doing everything else? Like people like get their napkins and they're like, oh my god, these are folded into triangles. They must have done it by themselves.
Starting point is 01:47:04 You know what I mean? It's like have some respect. Yeah, likekins and they're like, oh my god, these are folded into triangles. They must have turned it by themselves. You know what I mean? It's like, have some respect. Yeah, like shapes, they're hard. You know, like, what if I had like made them into trapezoid? That's not cool, but I did triangle. Like, that's hard. Making that decision is hard. Like Bugsy can like walk around doing stuff and then Hannah does a lot of stuff from bed.
Starting point is 01:47:20 It's like, great. It's like they just have different styles, you know, like napkin folds different styles Like sometimes I'm a triangle sometimes I'm a square one day. I'm gonna get a swan in there. Yeah, I'm still working my way up to swan And that's why I'm proud of you because I like people that are willing to grow Okay, Lord So then someone asks bugsie. Hey, did you ever realize that by you talking so much shit about Hannah It just makes you look really petty. Why would I don't want to work with you? And so Bugs is like, I never said anything in the workspace, it was all after, after! I always followed Hannah's orders, I never disrespected it.
Starting point is 01:48:00 And the captain goes, well Hannah was the chiefs do their bags. And she said, well I did what she asked, it's not like she'd say, go do Hannah was the chiefs do their bags. And she said, well, I did what she asked. It's not like she'd say, go do something and I wouldn't do it. I would do it. And then I'd say, stupid lazy. But I did it. It's not like she didn't get put on the bed. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:48:18 Yeah, because Hannah says that like she did do everything I asked, but there was like an ad you there are sometimes, which I didn't really appreciate. And then you sat forgiveness to like get her own. She's like well I get it it's stressful you know working on a boat and having to do things it's hard pressure for example it was very hard pressure and when I you know had a problem with Captain Sandy that was very nice to me at the beginning but I was stressed you all understand right Which subject are we on here? Sandy's like are we gonna talk about the banana again because I have more thoughts You know sometimes it's a high-pressure environment and Adam fell on me dick, you know
Starting point is 01:48:57 What can I say it's like wait a minute wait a minute? Buddy water, muddier So no Andy as at the end of the hour, Andy's making a last ditch attempt to make Adam cry. He's like, he's like, Adam, I'm looking at you. You got a weird buzz cut, some strange facial hair, your eyes are misting over. I can't help but feel like you're tired. The crap at looking state must be because you must still be in love. You're in love, aren't you? And he's like, Oh, look, I wish them love. I wish them everything. Like, they're great.
Starting point is 01:49:26 They're really great, Skater. They're really, I'm so happy for them. They're doing great. He's like, yeah, but do you want to cry? And he's like, no, no, I'm totally happy. You look like you want to cry. No, I don't. I'm fine.
Starting point is 01:49:37 Do you want to kill yourself? No, no, I don't. I'm really happy for him. There's windows. Do you want to jump out the window? It's right there. No, no, everything's great. They're happy. Let us get everything's wonderful. It's like not Noah's buying it.
Starting point is 01:49:51 So they just get everything's wonderful. And he's like, so sandy. Your DMs must have been lit up after this show. And she's like, you know, that's true. I got a great offer from the Mac Ron's true. I got a great offer from the macaroni grill. I got a great offer from Red Lobster. I got a great offer from AMC cinemas. Like it's, it happened lit up, yes. Yeah, you know, I'm currently dating a poop tea, but it happened organically, okay?
Starting point is 01:50:19 Because I like things that, you know, happen organically. Dreaming is magic. Why did I write Dreaming is magic? Because it's true. So then it's like what's the lesson to be learned or something like that? She's like, don't lie to your captain, okay? Don't lie. Just take a nap, okay? Be truthful, take a nap. Because at the end of the day, teamwork makes the dream work. And literally that ham. You can only dream if you take a nap.
Starting point is 01:50:51 Grumpy work is not good work. Dream work, teamwork, nap work, fat work. I love that banana. CaptainSandy.com. Captain Sandy out. And then all all of a sudden we see footage of her on the banana going down the Hudson River Towards the Statue of Liberty as Carly Carly what's your face saying Like I think I can't think of her. Why can't I think of her name?
Starting point is 01:51:33 I don't know if that river is running, running, running. It needs to take a light out. Please sign in. Oh goodness. I almost had a gay panning there. I love the Andy said, who's your favorite captain Sandy? She was oh all my children are grumpy sometimes and great the rest of the time, but I'll say it West there. I said it. I said it. And West is like damn right. Oh, sorry. I'm such a rebel.
Starting point is 01:51:57 Okay, believe I could still love TV Indy. And Andy's like what's your biggest regrets and then they all come up with some I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.
Starting point is 01:52:18 I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I would have done everything the same. I feel like I had to do that. I would have done everything the same. I would have been nicer to you at the beginning. But here they were like, oh yeah, I would have said I loved you. The old ones like, yeah, I probably would have talked to Captain Sandy. Oh yeah, I wouldn't have hooked up with the guests. Yeah, I wouldn't have tried to blow up the boat. I wrote what a lovely honest at the end cast people with real jobs.
Starting point is 01:52:48 Yeah, that's how I ended my notes for the season. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, and with that blow done, it's sealed off. Yeah, that was a really, really fun season. You know what's nice is that regular blow deck starts in about two and a half to three weeks. So, you know, we'll have the next crew and it sounds like from a little bit of scull about that we heard, it's gonna be a good season. Yeah, it sounds like it's gonna be a fun one.
Starting point is 01:53:15 There always fun to be honest, so. Everybody, we'd love you. Thank you so much. We will be back tomorrow with the real housewives of Oakland. Yee-ees. Yes, love you guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye. We'll be back tomorrow with the real housewives of Oakland. The yees. Yes, we will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:53:35 Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.