Watch What Crappens - RHONY: The Penthouse Is Mightier Than The Sword
Episode Date: August 24, 2017Part 2 of the Real Housewives of New York reunion tackled all the important questions: does LuAnn live in a penthouse or an apartment? Did Ramona vote for Trump? Does Tinsley even know how to... vote? Will Bethenny ever find a happy place? We're not sure the ladies had terribly good answers, but we certainly did. Come listen to us break down every minute of the latest RHONY reunion episode! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch a crap ends a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about.
I'm Yield Bravo TV. I'm Ben Mandelker from piece-uplog.com, and joining me, as usual, is the wonderful,
the hilarious, the just joyful Ronnie Caram from PreshTalkTV.com, and the Rosepricks Bachelor
and Paradise podcast, what's up, Ronnie?
Well, hello, Ben!
Hi, are you, uh, are you also sitting in your finest ball gown right now for this reunion coverage?
Girl, I'm wearing skinny girl red.
It is cut down to my belly button.
So my boobs are kind of showing.
Everyone's wondering if I have implants
and why my boobs are square.
You know, it's exciting.
It's exciting.
Far be it for us to let a single episode go by
without plugging your live show next week
to September 7th.
Oh my God, you're taking this.
It is coming up and I'm watching flipping out.
I was actually, I had flipping out going
during the commercials of New York,
because I'm just trying, I wanna be all caught up.
Oh my God, this show is so funny.
So funny.
Yeah.
People, yeah, it's very, very funny. I watched it last weekend, I was caught up. Oh my god, this show is so funny. So funny. Yeah. Yeah. People, yeah, it's, it's, it's very, very funny. I, I watched it last week and I was
cracking up it. So good. And we're like in a sprint to the finals. I mean, we talk about
it every day, but of course, the actual work we do to prepare is happening right now.
As we realize it, you know, we have a lot to do.
So it's fun.
It's like on my mind all day and it's got me like totally cracked out all day.
Yeah, it's fun.
I literally went to a trophy shop today.
I went to a trophy shop to source out first place metals for crap in scavenger.
I was like, what is this my life?
Is this my life right now?
And I was like looking at different metals and I was like, can you get, I was like,
oh, here's, this, can you,
would you have anything like, it's really big and tacky
and like, this is one.
I was like, how much does this cost for four of them?
He's like, $35 a piece.
I was like, okay, thanks.
I'll do the challenge.
We're crazy.
No kidding.
We'll get on a bottle of two bucks just for winning.
Here's your medal.
For crazy.
No, I'm gonna get some, I'm now like,
you know me, I like a random arts and crafts project.
First it was crap and poetry, then it was making a tablecloth.
Now it's this, metals.
I was at Target today feeling t-shirts because I'm trying to get t-shirts rushed to the
show.
So I was over there trying to find the brand of t-shirts we're buying and feeling the
different kinds. Looking on my phone, like at SKU numbers to see if I had the right thing or whatever.
It's like the worst episode of the apprentice slash shark tank of all time. It's been in
Ronnie putting together.
Cheating together.
It's like gluing it all together.
Oh my goodness. And we're I believe we're getting a step-and-repeat for our live show,
which is like means that we're officially fancy. Not a red carpet, just a step-and-repeat for our live show, which is like means that we're officially fancy
Not a red carpet just a step-and-repeat, which is hilarious
You can all take pictures there. Well, maybe we can just get some little red stickers or some red tape to make like a faux red carpet
Spill some red wine. Yeah
Well, I'll have a dread carpet. Yeah dread carpet. Also, let's give a shout out to
Jackie Shimmel and Rachel O'Brien. I went to their live show at the improv last night and they gave us such a big, lovely
shout out.
I want to give a shout out back to those ladies.
They both have different podcasts.
Jackie Shimmel's is, bitch Bible, Rachel O'Brien's is, be here a while.
So we like to spread the love around the various podcasts where she spread the the love around us. So, if you have any questions, go subscribe, subscribe
to theirs. Yeah, go check them out. We haven't done anything with Rachel yet, but you know,
we love us some Jackie Shimmel. Oh, yeah. I love that girl. She said some outrageous things
at this. Tell us, you know, that girl does not give a fuck. You know, and I knew I would
love her because she has
kind of the attitude of Leah Black, who we've come to love over the years. And Leah, I said,
how do you get away with saying some of the shit that you do? Do you just have to stay inside
a lot of the times when Roy has all these fancy business meetings and stuff? Do you go
off about Trump and all this stuff? And she goes, well, you know, I mean, not really. I mean, I've got enough money in the bank. And that is totally Jackie Shimmel.
He's like, she does not give a fuck. She's like, I'm rich. I'm happy. I'm married. You know,
and then I crawl onto the microphone to like bitch about shit and go home, you know,
and I just fucking love that in a person. Yeah. Not that they're loaded, just the freedom, you know, whatever,
whatever way they get it, that freedom to just not give a fuck.
Exactly. So we mostly don't give a fuck, but sometimes we give a fuck. One thing I do give a
fuck about six women in New York City who are airing their grievances on a couch with Ann E. Cohen. That's a big one.
Oh my god.
Me too.
I will stalk these bitches.
That's how much I give a fuck.
Oh wait, wait.
I have a, here's an ancillary fuck to give about.
I went to Sprouts this afternoon.
As I mentioned on Twitter, I felt the need to get centered, so I went to Sprouts.
And I brought my Countess Luanne, Money Camp Value Class Tote.
And once again, not a single person said anything to me. Like, oh my Countess Luanne, money can't buy you class tote. And once again, not a single person said anything to me like, oh, Countess Luanne, I'm getting
I'm just really met.
I am disappointed in people that they should know better.
They should know.
Well, next time just go in like big sunglasses with a scarf around your head and like a big
sun hat.
I just pretend you are Luanne and see if anybody's like, oh my God, it's her.
Yeah, I probably could do that.
You know, you could just like look at a, you know, look at an apple and be like, oh, well, this might be fabulous.
It would be nice if you were organic, you know, I was married.
This would be my favorite.
My's with the food plates and stod.
So we got the organic section. Oh, we got the organic.
I can't even scream like that.
So speaking of Luan, this second installment of the Real House has of New York reunion
for season 10, I believe, 9-10, whatever it is.
It begins on Luan again.
She's talking about Tom, et cetera.
Did you hear by the way that, guess luan and andy coon are having a
one-on-one sit down for watch a crap in special it's official
uh... what a shocker can you believe it girls i got the synagogue to myself
we're gonna conduct the interview on the b ma
harry christina andy
uh...
quite not not the right
so uh... yes so the so the questions are, you know,
how do you feel about Tom hanging out with people like
Missy, the famous Missy, who of course,
Michelle Collins posted that photo of Tom and Missy
together on Instagram.
We shared that from this past weekend.
And Luanne is like, well, I mean, he has a lot of friends.
And the only reason why he says miss is because Ramona keeps bringing missy to parties.
She's doing it to torture me, Harub.
And then Ramona is like,
oh, well, even not at my parties.
I see him see them when you're not here.
Okay, when you're gone, he'll still see Missy Dolores a Jenny like she just like have like a bus full of ladies like
wait a second are you just reciting the lyrics to mom number five Ramona I
like Monica Sandy Denise and Rita
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Bethany's like, well, I can tell you this much,
you're a shrunker woman than I am.
All right?
You're a mustrunker woman than I am.
I'll tell you that.
Because if that happened to me,
you know what I would do.
I'm like, please don't say it
because you're about to start crying
about what you wouldn't do.
You know, I'm like, come on Bethany.
So strong.
And the man's like, well, by the way,
Ramona's husband was in a full fledged affair. he's like oh, yeah, and then they got divorced
Like that's not the relationship. We all want to live by okay. That's not like the bar
That's not like snickers. We're all aspiring to be named on
Little league like like even if it were the bar it would definitely not be a skinnier or bar
Okay, like that's a bar. I think a lot of calories like a no one's that bar. Okay, like no one's up
You know what is you know it's like a hundred grand bar It's like you go Halloween and you come back to the hundred gram bar. Okay, like it's a bar Like a lot of calories like a no one's that bar. Okay, like no one's that you know what is you know
It's like a hundred grand bar. It's like you go Halloween and come back to the hundred grand bar
You're like what's this I want to think her's it's like a hundred-year-old bar. Like what is that? I don't get it
It's like I'm it's like a Mars bar like who would even get that?
Where's even like anyone find a Mars bar? It's like one of those weird bars you know about you never see it
And you don't care either, you know, it's like it's like a Charleston chew from the 9-man item store like like who wants that
It's like gonna break your teeth. It's disgusting.
You have to freeze it.
It's like cancer.
You know what, sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
I'm enjoying a nut, it's a mouse donut,
and guess what?
It's time to got nothing, okay?
Now, I'm loving Lou Ann's deference to Bethany.
She's like, she'll try and hit back a little,
but she knows it's better to just let Bethany do her thing,
be as offensive in me that she wants, and then just back away, you know, because she's like,
well, Ramona, blah. And Bethany's like, my, my, my, and then Luangus, well, absolutely,
and I agree with you. So now you don't. She's done it this whole reunion so far. Well, like,
once Bethany gets yapping, she's like, and you're right Bethany. It's hard to argue with my own haircut. So then Andy's like, I see what you did there.
You won me over. I feel like I'm looking at mirror mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest
of the mall? It's not yours. It's not for you to say. Let's call back to my song.
Miriam here on the wall. Who's the fairest of the mall? Ask Bethany, she knows.
All the free best.
Whatever she says. Bethany Bethany on the wall. Who's the fairest of the mall? Okay, you just stop crying. I don't ask again.
Who's the fairest of the mall? I'll tell you who Bethany?
Like literally a path to mention something. Nothing's fair. Okay, that's that's what the mirror says
Nothing's fucking fair. So just like put your hair in a bun and just get to it
You know I go like squeeze some cock that's that's what's fair
You know, it's not fair. You know, it's not fair. Snow White. Okay, you know what? She's got she's born with white privilege
Someone's right, but she's gold's no one. Okay, like like as you can't like I'll see like stop it. I can't
I mean an apple seriously like you know how many less people would die
if they would eat apples right now?
You know what's called? It's called look at your apple.
Okay, don't eat it. It's poison. Like you can see it's brown.
If it's mushy, it's like like, it doesn't, you know,
it doesn't take a smart person. It doesn't take someone to
men's that okay, so why eat like just eat. You know your apples.
Okay, it's like apples and oranges. You know what? It's like, it's like
cocks and vaginas. That's what it is.
I like we've added that as a sound that doesn of you makes like an alt but she was like,
ha, ha, she's never once made that nervous. I don't think she's ever made it, but I have to
just almost stop myself because I don't know how she even stops herself. There's moments in this
later that will, you know, when it becomes her segment, that she will speak five pages of
dialogue in five seconds.
Like she just keeps going and I don't even know how they make her stop ever.
You can't.
She's like, it's like when you have to hold down that one button on your iPhone just
to make the system reset.
That's the only way to stop her.
You're just hold it down for five seconds.
You have to hold the power button down at her ear at the same time.
You have to poke her with a paperclip for two seconds.
Just kind of like that. I like that she's like a cable box in fact. You have to poke her with a paperclip for two seconds.
Just kind of like that. I like that she's like a cable box and sacking up.
So for myself, I just have to like put my back of my tongue up on, you know, my soft palate.
I'm just going to.
So Andy is like, so Luanne, tell us why you and Tom are such a great couple.
She's like, well, you know
He's not a TV person. I mean so he's not a TV person so we might come off as a little awkward
You know that happens when you cheat you come off us awkward on TV
I mean who can blame him, but they're all good things for example. He's very nice
Pretty eyes. He he shades his legs.
He has a cookie jar. He has a cookie jar. Very great.
Cookie jar. Uh, you got that at the top. That means I'm stable.
Best coffee shop in town. And then, for moments like, yeah. And you guys play tennis during this
like, yeah, you guys like tennis. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We love tennis. And during this like, yeah, you guys like tennis. Yeah. Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
We love tennis.
You like grass.
You like grass.
Like he was walking in the grass.
Yes.
He loves walking grass.
And bad things like that's a life.
Okay.
Like here's what I always say.
You can make a lifestyle out of a life.
Wait.
Hold on.
You can make a life.
Okay.
Wait.
Hold on. Pop types. Okay. You can make a lifestyle out of a life. But you can't make a life out of a lie. Okay, wait, hold on top types. Okay, you can make a lifestyle out of a lie
But you can't make a life out of a life to add. I don't know whatever it is on the back of us. It's getting curl pop tart backs
somewhere just
Listen picky wives pick life
Now that's Jeff you're talking. You're not totally wrong product right now. Oh
I'm sorry.
You can choose your friends, you can choose your face,
but you can't choose the face of the woman
who your husband is coming on.
Okay.
There.
Okay, put that on the phone.
Listen, we could talk or not talk for hours
and still find new things to not talk about, okay?
Oh, say you say me.
Not all Richie, he's a poet amongst us.
You know, we're just dancing on the ceiling means on.
Oh, what a feeling that time.
Dancing on the ceiling when we talk.
I don't even know why I said a line on Richie song.
I'm in a crazy.
Okay, because you know, you say line on Richie song and I'm ready to go.
And then hello.
Is it me you're looking for?
Is it me you're looking for?
All right.
Tom, have you made a bust of my head yet?
Is it me you're looking for Tom?
Tom.
So Durinda's like, you know, I will say, Beverly, when I'm alone,
the parent house, the damn, any the wind.
And she's like, okay, okay, you know what I got to say?
I got to say something here like I'm sorry
Okay, no offense, but Jesus Christ okay to the viewers at home. It's a one bedroom apartment
Okay, like you like you make it sound like it's like Trump power like gold flicks on everything like Jesus Christ
It's a penthouse and she goes you're the one who makes it sound that way
Well, no she makes a question that a question for the masses. The philosophical question of her era.
What's wrong with calling it a penthouse?
For God's sake.
It's a one bedroom.
It's a one bedroom.
Okay, that's what it is.
Like a one bedroom on top of the building.
Okay, that's what it is.
Well, I'm sorry.
Are you gonna attack the Jefferson's now also?
I mean, they were dry cleaners. They weren't literally in the sky, Bethany.
I mean, we've done enough attacking the dry cleaners.
Okay? No more attacking dry cleaners.
You better listen to me, Missy.
All right, Bethany, with you,
I will call it an apartment.
Everyone else, I'll call it a giant panace. You're the one who makes it sound that way. The PAN-TOWS! THE YAAAAT!
Wait, that's actually you. You're doing a parody of us doing a parody of you right now.
It's fine, I'll call it an apartment. I'm asking you to watch the dwelling at a home.
I like the Apple. You know. How about this? I call it the penthouse dwelling there.
To be fair to Luan, we did get to see like one scene in this penthouse in the beginning of the season and it was
Magnificent. So whether it's one bedroom or not, it was awesome. So oh my god, that wrap around patio. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's like one bedroom, but like millions of square footage
of wrap around patio.
Okay, like literally I can't.
And you know what?
Like how do I talk to patios.com?
And be like, once you furnish this,
it's how big you can't even furnish it.
Okay, like I'll see that's the bar I'm going for.
Okay, I can.
Random room, random room.
Why, when a room when I can own a patio, do I?
A penthouse patio, Anthony, I'm pet house patio.
Buzzani.
I've moved into an embassy.
It's called Embassy Suites.
Still same thing.
They have lovely bar.
Tom's not there.
So, uh, Andy's like, wow, well, glad we had this fight.
Everybody's so happy right now, right?
Like, nobody.
Like, nobody's happy.
Literally nobody. I don't think it's happy right now. like nobody like nobody's happy but really nobody
I don't like this happy right now this is absolutely the best you've ever been in because you're being
miserable right now I know because no one's calling you on your shit right now and then the way
I go well I earned it right she really did she's like a tagline from the 80s because I earned it
well everyone earned it.
Everyone did.
I mean, I'm the only one who got the yacht in the penthouse.
Diet slice because you earned it, baby.
So Tinsley story.
Uh, I'm for Tinsley.
It's like, okay, now let's move on to Tinsley.
She already looks at the right.
Here's Tinsley's life in pictures, including a mug shot,
but leaving her life behind wasn't as simple as a new pair of lashes
Carol while they start start this while they start what the hell am I talking about well?
They start while they start out this tinsley montage Carol goes oh those eyebrows
I love when Carol gets excited because she opens up her mouth like her laugh is just like her opening up her mouth really big
She basically turns into a pes dispenser and she just looks left and right
And then ten sees like I fixed them she goes much better
Like this is the most you know this is the most Carol's done in a while.
It's like, James somebody's eyebrows.
I think she deserves credit.
She really does.
She really does.
So we see the whole Tinsley montage.
And then when it comes back, it's like, hey, Tinsley, why did you come back to like re,
re, I wanna say re-decorate, but re-redued your line.
Re-invent yourself.
Re-invent yourself, but you're still wearing the same shit
and pretty much living in the same place.
You're like, okay, all right, you know what?
Like, I never said I wanted to reinvent myself.
Okay, I moved back to New York to get my life back.
I want my life back.
I had lost myself.
Yeah, I wanted to feel like myself again.
I mean, what the hell, that's so wrong, is that okay?
Well, she also wants us to know,
can you build ice houses
with your hands when you get upset?
Everyone is like poor Tinsley.
Oh, she's all Tinsley is trying to say,
is that she likes roots.
Roots, OK?
It's not just like some mini series.
We all saw it back in the day.
Tinsley is living in real life.
I think it's like, why did Carol like Tinsley right away?
And she's like, I did it.
I mean, I thought she's sweet, but what a mess.
My hospital's full.
Tinsley just looks like hit by a truck at this point like doesn't know how to even respond to anything
You imagine if you went to the hospital with Carol standing there
Your face is bleeding. I know
It's my mouth. I'll hospital
You shouldn't do that. It looks growl
Well to be fair Carol is kind of like the equivalent of a heart monitor.
If you imagine, just...
Get your hand off my chair.
I mean, she flatlines every episode.
Someone on
plug Carol.
Cannon rides well. I liked it. What I
liked it. With someone told that
hospital equipment to keep it down.
I like it. One point they showed a clip of Carol reading the news to tinsely.
She's like, you're in the paper.
It says tinsely Mortimer with her new friend Carol Radzie Wells.
Like, where are you acting like you don't know how to say your own name?
The fuck is going on with Carol.
I'm really loving Carol this season by the way.
Yeah, I feel like Carol's back.
I feel like Bethany has even made a turnaround
considering how dark she was earlier in the season.
I feel like everyone's in a really great place.
Yeah.
So Tinsley, we learn that Tinsley is still living in the hotel,
but she's gonna move in with Scott this fall, I believe,
or sometimes soon, which I guess is fall.
And Tinsley thinks that Scott is the one that she will probably marry him.
Yes. And she also kind of just let us know that she's been abused. I was like, wait a
second, you know, you're a housewife, right? This is, this is at least two seasons. It's
it. Which is really sad. And she seems so strong now. Now she's past
all of it. But I was like, wow. Okay. What a thing to drop in the reunion and then just
be like, okay, I'm okay. I'm fine. What? Yeah. Well, Andy was like, you seem like you're
in a lot in a much better place. She's like, yeah, I was a mess. I was a mess. I'm like,
uh, no offense, but you're in an Elsa dress right now. So let's not put that too much
in the past tense.
Yeah, you look like a frozen cake at Ralph.
Like not even a good one.
It's like kind of the wrong color.
It's like not the perfect color.
So she's like lace in places it shouldn't be.
So then she's talking very seriously
about the bad state of her marriage
and how she fell into this dynamic.
That was a very abusive
marriage where she was getting beaten she's physically abused and she's like I was physically abused by him and Luan just goes and emotionally I'm like well no shit sure locked Luan
Luan's just like teeing up her own ball for next season
let's not say emotional abuse is something to sniff at
I'm like Luan I think like I think it's implied if there's physical impu-
You can settle down over there.
Mark my words next year, she'll be like,
I didn't even know what was going on.
I was suffering such emotional abuse.
Yeah, she probably will.
I hope she gets that shit annulled.
I hope she's still in the annulment window.
I'm not sure if she gets a knoll,
if she can get her title back.
Well, especially now that she's got a thriving
merch business.
It's like girl, you should have handled this before.
Yeah, I try, I'm trying to get some of that merch
for a live show, by the way.
I contacted her merch person,
and he was like, I can send you guys a bunch of mugs.
I was like, great, can you throw in a tote bag also,
and then he didn't get back to me. So I'm like I'm furious. I'm actually
Curious. I'm like, please
Exactly. I'm like I bought one of your tote bags. Okay. Can you please please? How much was it? How much was it?
Um, I think the tote bag was I forgot. I was like maybe like
35 36 and should be like $40 like way more than I would normally pay for a tote bag a
gay I've never paid for anything for a tote bag but I it was like the day after
she announced her divorce and I was really in an up with loose date of mind and I
just felt like I'm gonna support her she's a recent divorcee perhaps lost her
title I'm here for you Lou so I went and I bought that tote bag. Aw, you see, it's tote bag hugs everybody. Yeah. So please send one back that we
can, that we can pay it forward toward listeners of the live show. Please, please.
Yeah, we need some gifts. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, so Tinsley's a
rinda, of course. Yeah, it's about Tinsley being kind of a drunken, um, abused
and stuff. And to rinda's like, but can about tensile being kind of a drunken abuse and stuff. And Darynda's like,
but can you want to ask your mom to help?
I do think you think like, yeah, she called my mom.
Like your daughter wears dark sunglasses everywhere she goes and it's herky jerky and can't stop speed talking.
I think you should talk to your own daughter.
I think like, I feel like Darynda did not watch the same show.
I've never seen a less approachable mother than Dale.
Mom, I'm in a bad relationship.
Well, Hunter, did you get him a gift?
How do you think my relationship is going?
I'm talking to your father right now in a wooden box.
Tensley.
Tensley.
Tensley.
Do you really think this is an appropriate conversation to be having while your father and I have dinner.
Tinsley, I can't hear you through my hair helmet. Your father is dripping with wine, darling.
Now it's not a time to sling mud, he might get confusing.
So everyone starts talking about how much tinsley drinks.
I guess there's started talking about how that tinsley could drink a whole bottle of vodka herself. I know. And I love that the women on this show, particularly act like that's
such a bad thing. Like you can't all drink a bottle of vodka. I mean, it depends on the
size. They didn't specify the size.
Well, I think that maybe these women were shading
Tinsley for only be able to drink a bottle of vodka.
Yeah, during this, like, yeah, what was saying here, pussy?
Thank you, I'm just...
Glen, Glen, Glen.
And so she's like, yeah, I was going through a hard time. That's why I was definitely drinking too much. And he's like, yeah, like eight o'clock in the morning.
I was in Mexico.
He goes, and he goes, were you drinking at 8 a.m.?
Because I don't know, was I up at 8?
The implication that if she was up, then yes.
Do you know what it's like when you're in a bad place
and you don't have breakfast, Andy?
I don't have breakfast,
Danny?
Your metabolism will slow down.
Look at this Ramona to set the record straight.
She's a wasp.
They love to drink.
Celebrity beef.
You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in
court.
I'm Matt Bellasife
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much
of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative
designed to sell albums.
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
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Don't try to splash her when you're in the water, okay? Some crazy
Well, I'm sorry one time I went up to Tinsley and I was like do you want a piece of toast?
And she said is the toast made of burnt alcohol and I said wow you really are a drunk and then she drove off to
Lost Vegas with the libous shoe and I mean never saw her again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a true story like
Monday I sitting across from you
And during this like yeah, I mean, I remember I tricky coffee cup and I had a sip of it and I was like
There's so much coffee in here
This needs more booze
I love that the most dramatic part of this, like the thing they saved till the end, after the morning drinking thing.
Beth, he's like, yeah, this is sensitive.
I'm no doctor, but like seriously, while we were doing yoga, like she was drinking.
And because you skipped yoga to drink. It's not that easy to get over.
And Bethany's like, uh, Tim's he's like, I don't ever problem everybody. Okay. Like, I'm
totally fine. I'm totally fine. Everybody is okay. I'm definitely cuz yeah, I mean look she gets on her lashes
And she doesn't burn her face on her curling iron so you know like if you can stay sober enough to make it through today
I say good for you
Listen, I would be wasted too if I didn't have you know easy access to my blowout guy up and up reside
Well, I suppose to do who says stressful
I couldn't keep a curl for the life of me.
Have you ever heard of crimping?
I'm in therapy over it.
The smallest curl you'd ever seen.
So next step is the Carol segment, which is basically Trump, you know, and
you're like, do you talk 24 hours a day about Hillary?
You gotta stop.
You gotta stop.
Yeah, I mean, because there was something to talk about Adam, because she and Adam
had taken a break and you know, she's most creative when she's not attached to someone,
so excuse me, they took a little break, but really it's about the election.
And he's like, so Bethany, has this election the most annoying Carol's ever been?
She's like, nah, she can't much worse, much worse.
Did you watch it trying to turn that person out?
Like seriously?
She couldn't even ask, she couldn't even get ice cream.
She didn't even know.
Took her to a tiny, shining town, ice cream place, she got a chocolate, like what's
wrong with her?
Like, I can't.
Every time they've tried to give her a dim sum, she'd go,
seriously? Are you the, you think it stops at Hillary?
It's like she's on a leap too. Like she's got a loop too. Trust me. Okay.
Like she's got a room loop.
So the question is Carol, you know, you said that just just because Ramona
disagreed with her doesn't mean that like she's
not informed, were you being dismissive and Carol's like, I've worked in these rooms,
ABC News, and I've interviewed senators and I read newspapers and I sit on chairs and
I'm just a little bit more educated about these things.
I was in Washington, I would talk to people
and work with AIDS. And nobody asked me about that. And during this like, I asked you
about how it's like to have AIDS. Yeah, but that's not the same. I don't have AIDS
to end. Okay, I worked with AIDS. Well, I also kept it. And just game, you know, if you
get something, go your you're mulling.
Ramona was surprisingly sanguine about it. She was sanguine. She was like, she was like,
you were so passionate. I felt like I couldn't even have a dialogue with you without having a fight.
So I just chose not to. And I'm so sorry that you're awful candidate who I may or may not have voted against,
but probably most certainly did vote against lost.
Okay, I'm sorry, sorry.
I'm sorry, but if you haven't had trouble with email, then you know, like you can't just
stand where I'm coming from.
Hey, and Beth is like, I just wanted to dialogue.
Like, I just like dialogue.
You know, the dialogue needs to be dialogue.
It's like everyone's screaming at all times and it can't be a dialogue. You know, the dialogue needs to be dialogue. It's like everyone's screaming and all times it can't be a dialogue. If you hear yourself, you realize what you're actually on right now at this moment, right?
But you're literally doing screaming over someone else's segment. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just could not vote for Hillary Clinton. First of all, what she doing dealing with
the server, I never talked to my servers. They're awful people. I just give them 200 dollars and say,
do this, get me tea. Okay? That was her first problem. Yeah, everyone says, I abuse my
servers. She kept hers in a bathroom. I mean, how does it even bring you anything?
How do you not even lock down your server? How do you even know it's yours? That's crazy.
How's your server gonna put your shoes away from a private bathroom in the house in the Hamptons?
Hey, next time she should use her server for good, like getting a new air conditioner for Heather
Thompson's hot house, okay? So Andy's like bonus points if you say or how do you see it?
Who do you guys know like out of the nominees and bonus points if you say or who do you guys know like out of the nominees and bonus points if
you say he voted for or a moment is like well, I know Hillary and because some private
home very private homes with nobody has he addressed to and then Trump I know from Merrill Lago because what a lovely way to
Mara Lago
But as far as voting I'm not going big. It's such a hot topic. It's like you're not on the view. Okay
The election is like half year old
Well, these guys survive
This reminds me of when this little girl went to the mall and I was like I want to get some makeup
So I went to a place called hotic and it put on some makeup and
Jolyne Parsmith walked into the store and said take that off right now you look like a
whore I'm going to tell your father and to this day I've never been able to talk about
hot topics okay. I'm sorry I'm sorry it's too much of a hot topic I can't discuss it
okay. Have I mentioned you can get my entire clothesline from Hot Topic. You can get my entire
clothesline in the comments section at Tepe Topic.
Tepe Topic, I'm not discussing right now.
Exclamation point.
So Sonia also pleads the face. She's like, yeah, I met Hillary. Now she's come to cap her last, Kinsandra Pay. She's always just like doing beer bongs with Nigerian soccer teams.
It's great. Like, no, Sonia, that wasn't Hillary. That was some puppet that looked like Hillary Clinton.
That's what brought. I was wondering why that liquid went through her so quickly.
Well, I love Ivana.
I mean, she's just wonderful, Andy.
She's always smoking, walking around with the bottle
of absolute, that's Patsy Stone from,
absolutely fabulous.
Well, she wakes up on my kitchen table every morning
and I say, hi, Mrs. Old Trump.
And then Beth and me, he's like, oh no,
during this like, yeah, you get Donald's pick on the piano.
She's a guest. So hopefully one day he learns to play it. And
during this like, I voted for Hillary's surprise.
We didn't use bad news. She's a big deal. And when she said
changemaker, I was like, what's your team?
Little files of change all over the apartment.
You know what? At the end of that convention last year when all those balloons can then I was like,
I was like, this is given the Hillary speech right now.
And Lou Anzacad, I don't know anybody well, whatever, the fifth.
I mean, I did have a passing relationship with Marla Mabel's at one point but I mean
that's neither here nor there. Well I had just studied Marla Mabel's in
Will Rogers' follies. I brought my stage
I was always a fan of her role in executive decision a wonderful film, wonderful, wonderful
Well Andy I have a lot of maple syrup from 1983 in my basement so
Hi Marla and
Looons like oh, yeah, we said Looons I believe the fit etc. I'm like I can't say I'm a people say etc. Expresso
Expresso and etc. It's driving us. S-so, etc, etc.
Yeah, she probably calls triple X like
SSS
I want to see what it is
SSS on movies
SSS
So Beth and he's like yeah, okay
I met Bella Barney's and I told him he has a Spanish and I did the walk shaming the Donald Trump looking like a hooker with
Stolettos when I left after I bumped tennis. And there's like jewelry or whatever,
like a jewelry sword.
I'm like, I don't know.
Like he was with cookie or something,
but I was with cookie or something.
Like I don't know.
Like to see me why I am, I think he doesn't know.
And he goes, Bethany, this is one to watch.
You know, when he kisses me and I smell like booze
and I vote for Hillary.
But I didn't like my choices.
And that's what I'm saying.
That's my point.
You know, we gotta have a dialogue.
I was actually really happy to hear
that Bethany voted for Hillary because remember, we
were starting to suspect that maybe she didn't, that like maybe she did vote for Trump,
but I was like, I actually was like really happy she voted for Hillary just because, you
know, I'm a liberal.
Well, she said, I mean, you can't, you can't ever really know, can you?
Yeah.
Well, the best part was Tinsley.
Tinsley, well, because obviously Carol voted for Hillary, but Tinsley was like,
uh, well, you know, I couldn't really vote because like I was, I was like, I was still a resident
Florida and I like, I figured out too late and like, I couldn't get, I just couldn't do it,
but it's like, it's not my thing. It's like, not my thing, guys, it's like, not my thing.
You didn't vote? I can't believe you didn't vote.
Like, you couldn't even go in there and mic a little back.
You don't even have to do an impersonation, you can do it in a mail. Even Tom voted. He apparently went with Missy.
They were doing nothing inside that booth. They were just voting.
He voted for Jill Hill, Missy, Donna, lots of people, lots of names on there. You know,
he's very political, Tom. You're a cookies in this jar.
He just loves dragging women
in that voting booth and showing them who he voted for.
It's so kind.
What a good act he does.
I tell you, give that man a pencil
and tell him to fill in a hole.
It runs to the box.
That one.
So the rest of this is spent with Carolyn
to render be rating Tinsley and Tinsley's like, you guys, it's just not my
thing, okay? Like, I don't even care. Okay. Like, who voted for me to like,
move into a neighborhood with a decent blowout person. Nobody, you know,
it's just gonna be that. You know, it's my thing. I give it to you. That's
what that's my thing. I love the teach you. That's it. That's my thing. I've got the gold. Why can't we just keep pressing a Reagan? He's such a nice guy.
Carol, as I got a commercial of Carol tells Andy, don't you think the people who didn't say actually voted for Trump?
Yeah, yes.
They just come to like Ramon and Tony are looking uncomfortable.
Yeah, yes, they just come to like Ramon and Sonia looking uncomfortable
Well if if anybody is gonna forgive
In saying off the wall not very well thought out Twitter. It's gonna be a cast of a real house Well, yeah, exactly well, we just can't hold everything we say on Twitter against each other. Can we girls? Can we? Can we?
I mean, I follow Kelly Dodd for Christy.
I was speaking of Sonia was just wasted all weekend
on social media. Oh, God.
And then today she put one out saying,
hey girls, anybody know the best phone?
These days because mine was hacked over the weekend.
phone these days because mine was hacked over the weekend.
Nice men in black.
You're a sure situation.
You know, one way these bitches could have gone themselves a little bit more informed
was to maybe download the texture app, one of our favorite apps that lets you read basically like a bajillion magazines all on your phone or tablet.
Yeah, like seriously, when you're standing in line with the grocery store and you see me on a magazine cover and there's like 20 magazine covers with different versions of
my face.
And then it's like what's about, you know, what my horrible taste is doing to me and what's
about like my mom giving like shitty, like, you know, a shit talking me or whatever,
it's a national public and then I have to cut her off.
You know, you have all those magazines, all of them rot in your outfit, like
why buy 20 magazines with my face when you could have like 20 of my faces and like 20
versions of my pain right in what device. Why? This crazy carol thinks that she's so much more
well-read than I am, but little does Carol know that while she's talking to senators,
I am busy reading all sorts of articles
on texture because texture the texture app has gone beyond delivering just the magazine
itself, okay?
They've made it easy to find and enjoy articles that you want to read with daily recommendations,
exclusive interactive features, videos, and more.
Even Mario loves it. Yeah, Justin makes me make it easy.
It's so many great magazines out there, Lisa.
The guy fishing now, though.
A fishing, a cat fan fee.
Mmm.
Wiling, why?
Wiling, why magazine.
You know, everyone's always saying,
what's the deal with me on top?
Well, we have a wonderful relationship,
we often will sit down and we'll get onto that text wrap together
and because you know, it's totally searchable,
you can mark what you like just like Tom does with Missy.
Check out back issues just like Missy
and view bonus video content just like Missy
and they even have, they even cure it articles and magazines just for you
or whoever you're giving a texture to this year like Missy.
Now, someone like Ramona, who can't even figure out emails.
Textures very easy and it's only 999 a mind.
You get over 200 magazines but if you sign up right now at Texture.com slash Crappens, you get a 14 day free trial.
Like most of my time now is free,
because I'm concentrating on me, Carol.
So I don't know how to get my ballot.
It's like not my thing, but what my thing is
is going to Texture.com slash Crappens
and entering the passcode crappens.
Okay, it's like Texture.com slash Crappens, user promo code ends, okay? It's like Texture.com slash crap ends, user promo code crap ends.
Like I'll say I can't even say it right.
I can't even say it right.
Like it's not my thing guys, it's not my thing,
but Texture is my thing, okay.
So let's see, now we go to Sonya segment.
Now it's a Sonya segment, so it's all about Sonya and her men,
which I have to say, not the most thrilling through line
for her and not the most interesting segment for me.
I really don't give a fuck about Frenchie or Rocco.
I don't find either of them attractive enough to be intriguing or interesting enough to
be entertaining, but we've been stuck with them.
So we might as well just like, no, go down this path.
So New's version of events is just so funny.
It's like she's always in an 80s movie, you know, the way she thinks of everything. She's like, well, you know, the first time I saw a Frenchie, I was at a fundraiser with my daughter,
and I saw him and he was looking at me and I thought, well, that's weird, you know, but there was a lot
of people around. I'm scoring it with some 80s music score. Go on. Tell me. And then, you know, we
went on throughout the party
and I would have like a piece of sushi or something
and I'd look up.
There's this man in a red sweater with, you know, pads,
leather pads on the elbows.
And I was thinking, is he looking at me?
And he was.
He got my coat.
It was wonderful.
That took him home.
My daughter said, no, he's just a French person.
They do that with everyone.
And I was like, okay.
And then there he was, holding my coat.
So then there was just like this,
like this verbal diarrhea of like,
so then I went and I saw him and then we went down to burgundy.
Now he came back.
He doesn't have a house.
So he's been back and forth. So we go up to there. I'm going to go to the sand. We're going to go to Eiffel Tower. We're then we went down to Burgundy now he came back he doesn't have a house so he's been back and forth so we go up to there and we're gonna go to the
sand we're gonna go to Eiffel Tower we're gonna go back to Burgundy we're gonna go to
Nice because I like Nice because it's felt like nice it's in Provance which is cool
then we go to the can film festival they actually have a festival in winter you don't know
about it it's great my first movie was there the one that didn't get produced we put
the the uncut footage there it's great great. One the entire palm door. I was over there while he was re-doing the hotel. One broom didn't have hot water
or heat. And he's calling it the Sonya Suite, which I think is really nice. You know, it's
so funny. I thought he had an ant named EBS. Turns out we were just going to Anteibs. Isn't
that amazing? I've loved all of this because then they're like, Louang goes, well, he seemed pretty realistic, didn't he?
Just, well, what does that mean, Louang?
And, best like, oh, what, what you're saying?
Like, he's an actor.
What was she doing?
Capped with him in France?
Like, why would she be with an actor in France?
Like, that's crazy.
Was it Jerry Lewis?
RIP, Jerry Lewis, huh?
Huh, huh, huh.
Yeah, Louang's like, you know, you know,
so many of these him very natural on the show, very natural for a non-actor.
Get it, girls. Get it. See what I do there, girls.
And then they start trying to decide whether or not he's an actor because all of them chime in.
Carol's like, I heard about him in entertainment weekly.
He said, it says he's the best addition to blackish.
Um, and then,
I, I, I, I, I'm like, well, you know, if he is an actor, he sure loves the part.
I mean, zero must tell became tevy after a while.
So, you know, I get it.
I mean, Alice is Alice.
No, more than 11 had to die of poor
waitress who always recorded my man named Mel you know somewhere Jerome
Robbins is very happy with this so then Sonia's like she's like where'd you
hear this on a blog someplace you can't trust those right so how does
Rocco feel?
And then he's like, you know, he's very smart.
I love Rocco. They're friends.
They're friends.
He's a very smart man.
And Bethany goes, well, yeah, he doesn't have to be smart.
He could be a moron.
He sees you.
He does a man love you in your house.
He doesn't have to be smart.
Even a moron knows if a man's love you in your house
has to be out of there.
How good can your napkins really be? What's the deal with rock like literally I can't like
I'll see if I talk about like you're like is that guy even breathing like he's like one of those
muppets I'm like like even the way he walks like bomb bomb bomb you know I'm like looking for the
fist up his ass half the time like is that real like this does someone really have that much ear
here's the whole thing is gone so honestly it is it's crazy I've never even realized it and until he held an app enough to his face and it looked like a fucking cheat like how big is he?
Have we ever seen you in the same frame? You know, it is it's like a dating skater and scooter. That's what it is, okay?
Or how about that? And you know what and Luan's beaker me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me I'm here on it. Oh, I suppose just because I live in a penthouse. It's not about you, aware.
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Am I right, everyone?
Hi, y'all.
Am I right, everyone?
Why are there so many songs about Raybo's?
I'll be seeing that at the Rainbow Room.
It's very matter.
Then this turns into kind of an alternative relationships section in the back of like an old
hustler because something is like, look, I was married for many, many years and it's a
long game. Okay. And when you see someone and they just, you see this old guy likes you
as a Freddy can take care of you. He's not about having sex with you. Probably can't even
have sex with you. You know, that's the man you marry.
They're like, what?
That's the best thing.
He's like, how would he know he doesn't want sex?
You've never given it to him.
And she goes, that's what I like about him.
And then she's like, you know what?
I don't want to be alone in old age.
I want someone I can grow old with.
And then Ramona goes, hey, no guarantees.
I married Leighton life and look how that turned out. I'm like Ramona, it is not some rule that
if you marry Layton life, that you were going to be set for the rest of your life. I don't know
where you came up with this theory and why are you so beholden to it, but it's not a thing.
Ramona needs, I mean, Sonia just needs to marry. Sonia is playing the long game, but she's playing
it when she's a little bit older. So she's like, look, I'm going to marry Rocco in time to
get his money. And he's going to be happy like having someone, you know, to have Pickles
clean his ass every day, you know, like, what do you want from me, people?
I feel like if she's playing the long game, she's in the 14th inning and the game ended
back five hours ago and she doesn't realize.
I know. It's this longer game as you as it needs to be for Rocco. I mean the guy's like 85 or something.
Yeah. The guy's advertising for bread out front of a restaurant like it's 1923.
So then we uh we uh continue the analogy. We round the bases and come over to the Bethany segment at third base.
So Bethany, who are you with?
You're with the hockey player.
You're with Danes, who's someone.
So Bethany, it turns out is back with Dennis.
Yeah.
She's back with Dennis.
She's like, you know what?
It's more than giving me a shot.
It's like a got what had to be getting gone through.
What?
Getting gone.
Good.
Okay.
You know, like how much work? Good wood. Check woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,
woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck, woodchuck,, woodchuck I have I can't let wood checks into my life. Yeah, like I have moments where I don't trust him or something And I'm like what what you call me a skinny girl to you to bring get the fuck out of here
I never want to see you again. Okay, what's up? All right, go check. Go check yourself what's up?
I mean Chuck Wollery two and two, you know, what is that is for why are you lying to me? Get the fuck out of here
How much will you have moments like that? How much will it gonna Chuck Wollery Chuck if a Chuck Wollery could chuck well?
Okay, like how much like you know, he's not checkingable. You know why? Because lazy. I, you know, I can't.
How about this? I'm gonna scrap my brain scrap all right now. That's what it is.
I didn't make a love connection, but not with you Andy. I'm with with real Chuck
Willery, okay? It's like pressing the reset button, poking you with the pin.
So she's working on herself these days because guess what? She finally
realizes she has a hard time getting close to people. What a shock, Bethany.
Yeah, Dennis, one day was like, you won't allow me to love you.
And I was like, what's stopping you?
So, you know, like he put his finger on me and then, you know, like he fell back.
And I was like, are you there?
Are you there?
Like, come back.
Come back.
And then he came back.
I mean, it was like, it hurt.
She was like, I can't make you love you.
Love you. Love me if you can't.
Okay.
I can make you feel something that your heart can't.
Okay.
And I was like like oh my god
Dennis you're bunny right you're bunny right. I love
Monning rate, uh bunny rate shut up. Okay, I'll do something to talk about okay. Okay. How about just go get the fuck out of my life okay bunny
You know what if I'm gonna have a bunny in here's gonna be Bonnie Badelia. Okay, bunny rate fuck out of here I told like, ah, stop pushing me. And then Andy's like, did you push him away?
I like when Andy pretends to have feelings
and just keep shit going.
And she's like, no, no, no, no, no.
What's the even pushing way?
It was like, I was like a dish you cook in.
Like if you're making your kid mac and cheese,
and you're like, oh, just put it in the oven
and then you take it out.
And you're like, how the fuck am I supposed to get this
cheese off the bottom of the dish?
You know what I mean?
Like I needed a rinse cycle.
You know, I mean it was for sure. It was like, like it's fuck am I supposed to get this cheese off the bottom of the dish? You know what I mean? Like I needed a rinse cycle. You know, I know it's more like, like, is it starts raining and it's like one little
drop of water and it falls on you.
That's great.
But then the fire hose comes to your face.
You're like, oh my god.
You really kill me now.
Like honestly, just like, like just like take like take that entire like a forklift of
craft macaroni and cheese and just like pile it onto my onto me and just like, let me
suffocate.
Okay, let me just like die like that person did in witness.
Like just, I just put me in a silo full of corn
and like, have me drown in an acceptance of corn.
It's mac and cheese.
Okay, I'm just like drown in the silo mac and cheese.
Just leave me alone.
I can't, like, little Kima now.
Yeah, like whatever.
Like, I don't need to fill a slot, Airbnb.
And so he's like, well, that makes one of us.
So he's like, he's like, Quentin from Queens notice.
You never wanted to be around anybody ever.
And then it's a montage of definitely just gonna go.
All right, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
That was actually amazing.
I have for me to go, gotta leave, gotta go.
Ah, God, gotta go.
That may have been my favorite part of the reunion so far.
I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm leaving.
I'm gonna go, I'm outta here.
And props to the edit bay that sat there all season pressing gotta go as their keyword and final cut.
Because that's that's a lot of work. You know someone was like she's going to be leaving every
fucking scene she's in. I'm key wording this shit right now.
So then um so now they start talking about Jason Hoppy and and his even newer
stalker talking charts. I didn't realize there were new ones but yeah but he has
new talking charts since the Vermont episode and Bethany starts to open up
about really how awful it is and the torture of it all and then Ramona is like
can I say something? Why did I say that? I don't wanna talk about, okay, I'll say something then.
You know, it's sad when you share a child together
because you know, it takes a toll, you know?
You know, it like breaks you up, it kills you inside,
doesn't it Bethany?
You just have to crumple up and die inside.
Oh, you understand that feeling.
You know what, we're gonna just, I don't even know why, but like, I don't even want to talk to you about this.
And she's like, okay, like Ramona gets all mad, but Ramona is fucking sneaky over there.
And Bratzani sees what she's doing because she's like, I mean, I don't even understand
this stalking.
Like, how do you even stop it?
Because like you have to see each other because you have this connection that's it's oiled
Hey, like she's trying to like kind of weasel in there like what are you trying to just kick the dad out of the kids life?
So then Andy's like wait, I want to be slide too
So Andy now decides to spend the rest of the reunion trying to make Bethany cry.
So he's like, so Bethany, it's funny because a year ago,
we thought like at the end of the divorce
it'd be like, yes, like a weight is lifted
and everything will be great.
But everything's not great.
Do you think it'll ever end?
I'm saying thanks Andy.
Emily Brown's like, do you know how many people came up to me after that reunion last year saying I'm so sorry
You're going through a divorce
Because she's wearing my hair. That's all I'm trying to say
I mean all of Tom's friend showed up is Monica and Erica and Rita and Tina and Sandra and Mary and Jessica
Sanjana and Sandra and Mary and Jessica. Oh.
Oh.
Um, what am I trying to say here?
So I was trying to come up with other names and then I'd like, could you come up with other
names?
Those are all the names from mumbo number five.
Oh, you got them all.
Yeah, those were all the.
Oh, thank that's why.
Okay.
Oh, no, actually, I'm sorry.
There's also an Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita.
Isn't there a Tina somewhere in there? Did you already? You just say Tina. Okay. Yeah, I was like I was thinking I was I like literally
I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. I'm like was there Tina. I don't even know if there was a Tina like what's there
I don't know she's talking about mistress number five a
Little bit a little bit of Lou and in your life
a little bit of a little bit of blue and in your life. If you ever want to make Bethany Craig get her talking about money.
Oh my god, now it wasn't the end. It was $3 million. There's a lot of legal
things. I'm going to work on the big red.
And he's like, well, how do you protect Britain from this? She goes, Oh my god, for Christ's
sake, she's seven. Okay. People are like, how are you gonna protect?
She's seven years old.
Okay, they don't get bravo in like 70-year-old school.
Okay, she's like in the same pair of happy.
She doesn't know what a reality show is.
You know, I live in a house like where all alone,
she's isolated, there's no one to speak to except me.
And she's totally happy.
And like that sounds like a lifetime movie.
Like she's gonna be like writing her own version
of room
by the time you're done with her.
You know, I'm surprised Ramona wasn't like,
whoa, she doesn't know what her reality show is,
but does she know what pornography is?
Like the kind that you did, I'm just,
they have to.
Yeah, they get the internet before they get bravo.
Okay.
Yeah.
But the Bethany is a little bit in,
like she had a very strange response, I thought because when Andy was like so
Are you afraid of you know, you know, you know, because I'm sorry. Let me back up Bethany was talking about how she's trying to protect
Brin and like not talk shit about her dad
Etc and Andy's like are you afraid that she's going to find out or what will happen when she finds out when she starts reading the news
Just like you know a new cycle. There's like there's no quick like today. It's like a today It's like about me to mind about like a son like, you know, like, news cycles. There's like, there's no quick.
Like, today it's like, today it's like about me,
tomorrow it's about like, the sun is set, you know?
It's like, the next day after that's about scissors, you know?
Like, it's just falling on the sky.
Like, I can't, like, literally I can't.
Yeah, it's like, one day it's a KGK, the next day,
like, Sony's snipples out of the dress.
I mean, like, today, like, literally anybody seeing this?
Anybody?
And any?
And he's like, no, no, it's not about like,
are you afraid she's gonna see it? It's like
How do you think she's gonna be when she
Learns about it for me. I mean like you know, it's like like in 12 years from now
It'll be like so long it like who cares like what's up?
Like literally I grew up on a racetrack. Okay, like life isn't easy. Okay. I grew up on a racetrack trying to outrun horses
Okay, so my mom couldn't catch me and then I realized I'm going around in a circle
I just hear that voice over and over again. How about a
habit? How about a habit? I mean, it's like it didn't affect me. Look at me. I'm
fine. It's like you are that voice. You realize that right?
In effect. I know. I mean, on the one hand, I thought like what she said was true,
like, like I grew up in a terrible, terrible childhood. And I'm fine. But the other
hand partner said, like, you just said you can't let people into your life.
That's not the finest of the fine.
Well, I suspect she's answering that way
because it's been like accusations have been leveled
that she's so about her reality.
She'll live that she's not a fit mother
because she cares more about that, you know,
and blah, blah, blah.
Well, she probably also doesn't wanna even think about
what that's gonna be like
because it's gonna be a horrific moment.
We know, watching her child's innocence peel away,
you know, fun times. But meanwhile, Sonia be a horrific moment, you know, watching her child's innocence peel away, you know, fun times.
But meanwhile, Sonia, Sonia never, you know, never one to be left out decides to then quietly
make about her.
And she just turns it up to her and she's like, my daughter's 16 and she's starting to
know now.
I'm like, Sonia, she's known probably for a very long time.
Yeah, I think your daughter is kind of known for a while. It's not about you. This is Bethany's moment. Okay. Bethany's
wonderful. If you look at that story and any other way that you just told your
daughter is probably like mom, please do not try and fuck that guy right now at
this party. Okay. It's just some random French guy. You can find another one.
Please don't fuck this guy. The coach at room. Exactly. There he was with my coat.
You know, she like puts
her own spin on it. So, Sonia takes it and she's like, well, Bethany, my question is, did
you have to clip out that news article about my nipple slipping out? Because I don't have
that one. I need to put it on. I need to put it in my little wall. I need it for my fridge. Which is it about my nip coming out? Do you read about it on some blog someplace?
Yeah, Bethany's child. Of course she's gonna have problems that she's gonna worry about and be an erotic mess. So speaking Bethany's daughter
It's called like letting yourself live on throughout the generations. Okay. Exactly. So then has Bethany talked to her mom again
No, because her mom is still like a shady bitch apparently
And then she writes all it's like every time she talks to her she talks to a magazine that's so gross
Yeah, so then Andy's like you know
Maybe all this stuff with the divorce maybe it really affected how you were with all the other women
It's like really Andy congratulations. Yeah, I wouldn't epiphany
God Really Andy, congratulations. Good. What an epiphany. God.
It's a joke about how he explained it.
You know what I mean?
It's like a war zone in Israel.
How do you explain that to somebody?
You know, I mean, like I'm not comparing myself
like the war zone in Israel or anything.
I'm just saying you can't imagine the torment
of what it's like to have an iron dome above you
so that new stone comes from you on the head.
You know what I mean?
And then there's a moment of standing there
with the bottle rocking.
I'm not saying it's real. Okay. I'm not saying that it's real.
Okay?
I'm just like, what do you think it's like?
What everybody's trying to use the five-boit starter represent?
You're, ah!
That's so crazy.
She's in Israel also.
So, by the way, I thought the right answer is there.
Retroactively, I thought of a really good. Episode name today of what for our Shah's episode
on Monday retroactively, we totally could've called it,
hopeless floats.
So now Bethany is talking about, you know,
just again, more of the shit that she's going through
and she's like, I don't see him,
like I couldn't talk about it, like I had to say,
I had to give myself a cycle.
Otherwise I'd be like, I'm the sort of,
I'd be like crying, I'd be crying every say, I'd be like, then for crying every day, like, no, I can't talk about it like I had to say I had to do myself I'll be like I'm the type I'd be like crying I'd be crying every say I'd be like then for crying every day
Like I can't like tell me now. I'll just be like a bottle tears before I'm like you're literally doing our own person
Of you in the nation of you right now
It's torture
It's torture
Whoa question question may I have the floor please no thank you. Okay, So it's crazy. This one time after I got to
force from Mario, he begged and forced his way to live with me again. And I never told
anyone. It was horrible. It was a horrible time during that filming two years ago. Okay.
I care. I was like, anyway, I saw when you had tried and FaceTime your daughter and then Jason would hang up or face the phone to the wall and
You didn't realize the emotional havoc it was playing on you. Yeah, it was epic
I really didn't even see it. I was like everything's fine. Everything's great
Oh, so I'm a wall now like I'm talking to a wall now like as my eyes
You know like Israel, you know, so what people are thinking when they're like it
is real.
Like, you're right.
I'm talking to what got there.
And well, you know what I mean?
Like, before I knew it, people were praying to my stomach.
Okay.
Where does this anger come from?
I mean, really?
Maybe that's, and if you treated him to a penthouse, he'd be happier.
Spoken like someone without a wrap around balcony on there.
Why didn't that dream of parking?
Ha ha ha ha.
Penthouse, y'all.
And Andy's like, did you guys have any idea this was going on?
Come on now.
And then when it's like, well, I only knew the story when the,
I only knew when the story broke out in the post because I was sitting on my
Rapper out and Tom's head was in my lap and I had just took you from his jar. I had just freshly pressed the pH button on on
Elevator and I read the news. I'll never forget it because I remember hearing the elevator go
Panthouse
And I got on the elevator get that the elevator is I'm sorry the elevator said apart manENT HOUSE! And I got on the elevator. I'm sorry, the elevator said, Apartment, is that better?
Is that better?
Well, I pressed the pH button, it stands for Apartment.
It's weird because there's no age in Apartment, but you know, that's how it goes.
You know, when I turned that special little key that only means I'll have,
to get up to the Apartment.
Happy Bethany, the Apartment with a special key and the button that doesn't make sense to go
within in the elevator, are you happy now?
And then Andy goes, did something happen?
Like, why is he so mad?
Like why is he so mad?
Sometimes Andy's questions, it's like, did happen and look at us. Yeah, where does his anger come from? I mean madness
So I think during the chiming on the side. Yes
Like you know so crazy. He's like one bird one minute someone's knife
No, he's not gonna get me! You're trash!
Good!
Can't even understand it at all.
And he's like,
he's like, so like, are we any closer to any resolution on the stocking situation?
And Bethany goes in this really weird thing, which is like, you know, like,
like, it's a legally binding like resolution.
So it's like it's mandatory, legally mandatory, as a resolution.
So of course, it's like, it's legally not, so it's not, I mean like, Sasquatch can come and as resolutions. So it's of course, it's like it's legally done. So it's not, I mean like Sasquatch can come and live with me.
And it's like legally manned and it's like done.
I'm like, what?
Sasquatch?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The cops are going to be like, yeah,
it's Sasquatch over and I'm just going to have to be there.
Like, it's not yelling at me.
Like if I face the Sasquatch is going to turn my phone
to a wall wall, like I don't even know.
Like I don't know.
Sasquatch isn't this real?
You know what, you know what, it's crazy.
The Sasquatch brought a bonding right CD guys like
Well, you know I can't like literally not not finding it again. Okay, like literally like have a heart honestly have a heart
Well when I was talking to Bonnie, but Dalia
This was so crazy and she then fastening us. No, no, no, no, it's gonna be fun
I'm gonna live a normal life, but it's gonna be with zero contact
Yes No, no, no, no, it's going to be fun. I'm going to live a normal life, but it's going to be with zero contact. Yes.
That's like, what are you going to put like brain in one of those bank deposit things?
It's just like through a through a tube like what the hell?
How is this going to work?
And she's like, yeah, you know, we instill an audit is to make our own money.
So that they could be independent.
So when they find out that the husband is working out too much and shaving their chest and is
not for you from some little horned hamptons that you will be stuck giving your entire
your entire renewal line to them. Hi.
And the man's like, well, I was just talking to my good friend, Bonnie. Not Bonnie Raider. No.
Bonnie Tyler. She says, once upon a time, I was falling in love.
Now I'm only falling apart. Nothing I could do, but a total clips of the sun.
Did anyone see it? My eyes. I haven't been able to see anything for three days.
Apparently, it's supposed to have certain glasses for it, but I don't know. I was on a yacht.
Yeah, like she said, as a woman, you got to have options.
And I was like, seriously, people can't even afford to leave a
beast. It's like so expensive. Like you have to have a job just to get
out of abuse. So I tell people like in my charity, be strong, that,
you know, like, like, you're, did we know this? Because yes, live
strong is still suffering from a lot of bad press.
Okay. She's like, listen, you know, I was like, you're going to have to do this with one not one day. All right, ladies, but now flick your little every time we
feel we just snap your little yellow arm band to remind yourself to be strong in
the life while you live. And it was, it was so nice of the editors that every
time Bethany mentioned women being trapped in terrible marriages, they just kept cutting detensely. It's a little
on the nose. Only with you could we talk like this. Oh my god. We've just gone through
20 minutes of a woman like great counting terrible things. I'm like, Oh wow, wow.
Do you think if Bethany ever heard our podcast,
she would be like laughing like they get it.
It's funny, it's a joke.
You know, it's like it's funny.
It's like, it's my life, I know it's like,
I'm an open wound, but they get it.
It's like fun.
Or do you think she'd be like,
fuck these guys?
I think she'd probably be like,
fuck these guys.
I think she'd be like, fuck these guys.
Yeah, I think she'd give us a big fuck you.
I also feel like, I also, you know what makes me sad,
I feel like Dorenda would too. Because we talk about, you know what makes me sad I feel like Dorainda would too because we talk
about you know we talk about her daughter and and her deceased husband and I don't think she
messes with that. Well look you know the whole fine of it is that of course you're gonna say
fuck you that's what they're supposed to say. I know what I want to be loved by Dorainda. I understand
if Bethany says fuck you but I want to be loved and hugged by Durinda
No, I think that you've got I mean honestly, I think like even if Leah listened to all of our podcast you'd be like fuck you I think they only like us if they know us from parties. They don't know if they like us from this
Lee and lock in likes us
Well, give her time, you know
Give it time, Mimicor
So anyway, we, you know, like, like, like, I like to look at it like this.
We look at the best and the worst of all these ladies.
And as, you know, I can only speak for myself, but most of the time I am saying fuck you to
them.
But I also like them too and find them very entertaining.
So what are you going to do?
It's human nature.
Watching that roll by.
So you can't be friends with everyone. That's my problem.
I do want to be friends with everyone. So you guys be friends with me and Ronnie
come to our live show September 2nd. And tune in tomorrow because we're going to
talk real housewives of Auckland. And then I imagine probably next week we're
in a little bit of a time crunch this week, but probably next week we might
sneak in some thoughts on the new Jacks and Britney's show. I'm predicting it's gonna be terrible but we'll see.
Yeah, we'll check your mouth and that as opposed. Yeah guys, thanks. Have a happy Thursday.
Happy Thursday, what am I talking about? It's not like some holiday Thursday. Have a great
Thursday everyone and we'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?
Wee! Hi, everyone.
Thanks for listening to the podcast today.
We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us.
If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review.
And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about
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Also check us out on Instagram and at Twitter.
On Instagram, we're at Watchmore Crappens, on Twitter, we're at What Crappens. You can also check
out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Caram on both Instagram and Twitter,
and I'm at B-side blog on Instagram and Twitter. Really, thank you guys so much. We really mean it.
We appreciate the support, and even if you do none of those things,
we're just happy you're listening.
Thanks.
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