Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Tins 'n' Dale - Wedding Rangers
Episode Date: June 15, 2018"Real Housewives of New York" remembers Bobby Zarin, one of our favorite Bravo husbands of all time. But then we dive into full lunacy with Tinsley and her mom Dale as they shop for wedding d...resses and cry over unfertilized eggs. Also, Luann is free at last! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
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Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! I've got a crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, Hey everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins. Just a heads up that Ronnie's microphone wasn't really working during this recording.
So he sounds a little echoey
because his audio is basically being picked up
by my microphone.
So sorry about that.
We tried to make it sound as seamless as possible,
but you know, we're really bad at that.
Let's have the show.
Hey everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins.
A podcast about all that crap on Bravo
that we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today on this beautiful Thursday afternoon is the lovely
and talented and very artistic, and almost perhaps an honorary member of the Illuminati.
It's Ronnie Karam, also the host of the Rose Free Spatcher Podcasts, Rose Podcasts.
Hi, man.
Sorry.
What if we just posted roses?
You're like, oh my God, did you see that rose?
What?
What a stupid rose, like Blinmore.
This is an exciting day because it's Thursday,
so we get to talk about Real Housewives of New York.
But also, we are now officially one week out
from our Phoenix show next week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Phoenix show, we're talking Real Housewives of New York.
There are tickets still available, not too many left.
So you better hop on them.
Go to watchacrapans.com to get those tickets.
Well, we just a link to the ticketing link.
And if you're in San Francisco, two days later, on June 23rd, we are doing a big show in San
Francisco where we're talking Southern Charm. You have to be there. This
season in Southern Charm has been out of control. And I mean, who doesn't
want to be in a room of like 300 people screaming at Ashley's stupid hair,
right? Oh my God. That is going to be an Ashley Pylon. I'm so excited.
Yeah, mass Pylon.
Let's get a, let's get a laugh.
Sam Fran and Real Housewives of New York
and Phoenix, you better get your butts there.
And then our shirt for the month is,
what's the matter?
What's going on?
What's happening?
You can also find that.
Watch what crap is Duel Com.
Yeah, very, very exciting.
We're a week away from those, those tour dates.
So definitely act on them.
Please.
So now for the most fun episode of the season. Oh my goodness. Exciting we're a week away from those those tour dates. So definitely act on them. Please so now
The most fun episode of the season. Oh my goodness
Yeah, wait wait it like hype up our Phoenix show by a week prior airing
Arguably probably the worst episode of the season so far
Well, I can't call it the worst because it was like a dead guy, you know, so you're supposed to be like yeah
I felt things.
I mean, I kind of did because like, he didn't love Bobby.
Yeah, no, everyone loved Bobby, but it's more like,
this was a very tinsley heavy episode and now we're understanding
what the dangers of that can be because it was like,
a lot of her trying on wedding dresses.
She's that bitch is crazy.
She's crazy.
It's officially crazy.
Yeah.
I can totally see her and the bushes now and I'm talking. I'm talking her, hunting her ex down. I can totally see her in the bushes now and
Hunting her hunting her ex down. I can totally picture her with an air rifle like
Or at least just in the hedges hunting down a wedding dress like she just likes outside of Vera Wang's boutique and Palm Beach me I was actually there for the wedding stuff with Tinsely I thought it was hilarious
Yes, and I love Tinseli's mother.
Dale, well Dale is great.
I mean, I just feel like watching someone trying on wedding dresses, especially when there's
no wedding, is like not the most exciting form of television.
Exciting when there is a wedding.
I know. It's something that we see a lot on these shows and so it was, it took up a lot
of airtime.
Like there was not enough Dorenda this episode.
Well, Dorenda was more, you know what,
the other girls were really horrible this episode.
Like, way to change all of our alliances again.
Now this episode, Bethany looks like the nice one again.
Yeah.
And all the other girls look like vindictive little monsters.
Yeah.
I mean, crazy how fast they can change it.
Bethany had looked like the nice one,
but she still did some things where it was like it's classic Bethany
Should we just see the idea? Yeah, should we just get into it? Yeah, Ramona is the one who says previously and she says it like this
Previous previously previously
Previous here to my makeup tie
Pripp is one of the reasons I look like my daughter.
Yeah, so previously on the real housewives, everything went to shit, the one went to jail,
and everyone laughed about her getting out of her hair and guffs.
Yeah, and so we open, oh, one thing I noticed in the opening is, you know how Bethany
is all like every year now, she's like, wow, well one thing is C but another thing is B.
You know it's like that's a B in it.
Yeah I just noticed in the opening they have her
say Nutstanic right in front of an A sign.
One of those reading signs in a restaurant
or like she goes on floor A or something.
Oh god, even the others think you're an asshole.
Some subtle, subtle like signage shade,
be like no, it's better,
maybe better to be strong but you're on floor A.
We're not giving you a B.
So the episode opens up and it's like very sad.
The music is immediately sad.
We knew this was gonna be the episode where Bobby dies, Bobby's Aaron.
But I didn't realize it was gonna just open up like that.
The music is like, like it's like sad, like, you know, sad, like sad, long notes, you know?
Yeah, it's like on the Cassia keyboard, there's one like, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE- Yeah, now so let's watch about how a bunch of housewives can make this about themselves. Yes
Like always a good thing when there's something like legit sad like let's see who could make this their
Issue. Yeah, exactly. So Ramona and Dorendar in a big, you know SUV going I think I think they're going to the funeral and
Well, I mean, you never actually see them there, right?
Let's just how they set up everything. They're like okay, Ramona everyone's gonna be confused about this scene
Everyone's a black or playing one chord over and over
What did we do? It's just like hot?
Smeech from home in a call with to Randa. I can't be bought pissed
You know, I feel bad. I wasn't able to go see him. You weren't able to spend on the hospital for two years during that.
Yeah.
What were you doing?
Those little glass balls.
You.
What the hell?
What the hell?
Hey, man, here you go.
I got a man here.
You got a cash and fill, and I was like,
I have these hair shit, cause I called.
As you know, and you see I'm British saying,
I said, yeah, yeah, that's a no.
Yeah.
So, Romana goes, I got a text from mutual friends
and from Jill herself that Bobby had passed away.
So, from a list of ways, she's like, I am so sad.
I'm so, I knew how close they were
and I just feel so bad.
And I feel that the way that they show men,
being good men
versus men being pricks are the good men
buying things apparently.
Because that's like every memory is like,
I got a surprise for you babies.
And what is it, Jory Bobby?
He's like, you know what it's a car.
I know what kind of puppy was that.
I know.
I have to say, I mean, my heart did sort of like have
like a twinge of not twinge.
It was like my heart like wept. When we heard Jill do her sort of, we forgot this like iconic
thing that you always do.
She goes, oh now Bobby.
I was like, oh, the Jill Zaron Bobby.
Bobby.
The slew Jill Zaron will always stay creeping in my brain.
Hey, yeah, Bobby was such a sweet guy.
Yeah, everyone likes Bobby.
So, I'm on his like, once I find out that Bobby was really, really sick, I said, I don't
care.
I'm going to visit her and Bobby.
I don't care if she was a monster under the bed, but it took renting the bed to find
and see it and get rid of it.
I had to call Ghostbusters last time I saw a jet.
I don't care if I get slotted, okay?
I'm gonna go see her.
I'm gonna ask her, hey, do you know how to mount a television?
Because my television to Hampton's isn't working.
I was wondering if you could do it for me, Jill.
Thanks.
She's like, I've talked to Jill.
We cried and then we talked and we cried and we talked
and then we cried and then we talked to her cried and we talked and then we cried and then we talked
And we both agreed that I renewed
We both agreed that look like Avery's daughter. Okay, so then I don't know she's like well
I don't know about this gonna go over there to see her because you know
It's been six years and you just got a little gift-ready present and it's like, oh excuse you, you're Ramona!
Yeah, I'm talking about it.
I also thought what was interesting was the mute went when Ramona started talking about
or wondering if Bethany was gonna go to the funeral.
The music switched from like, to all of a sudden I was like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do a really big hat, really, really big hat. I'm gonna be the most funerally out of everybody at this funeral. She, she looked very wicked witch.
I mean, she had a witch's hat on.
I was like, listen, I know this is a funeral,
like this is a time to be respectful
and not to come in scaring everyone
that you're gonna start singing, Define Gravity, okay?
I know, I've been scaring them,
but like giving them something to look forward to.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, I'm Define Gravity, huh?
I'm gonna be out.
I'm not, I'm not like gravity.
You don't wanna send a gravity girl out of here. So, yeah, whatever, like I'm up here it. Hey, I'm defying gravity. Huh? I'm here. I'm not defying gravity.
You don't want to send me gravity?
Yeah.
Shut up.
Yeah, whatever.
Like I'm up here.
Like a national.
You know what else?
You know how defying gravity everyone who's got him space, okay?
How about that?
So shut up, which?
Give me out these frames.
But I am a witch.
Can we like not like, can you like, like ease up on the
spritz?
I'm like a witch.
But I just thought it was funny that the music became it was like jazzy for all of two seconds
I guess that's sort of did you know like
Okay, that Ramona is gossiping so when Ramona Gossips we don't have to be serious will be like
Lighthearted for this two seconds and now we'll go back to being serious. Yeah, it's like Bobby said
Which is very sad that these women are still jokes. Yeah
Yeah, it's like Bobby said which is very sad that these women are still jokes Yeah, it's like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom You know, so like in your two, and the, um, did you notice that Bethan was getting arrived from non-Kevin?
Yes, Kevin was like, oh my god, I have to listen to him enough of this bitch on a regular
day.
He's like, I have no, now she's defined gravity, forget this, I can't get off of him.
He's like, you are supposed to be in Aspen, in Aspen.
He becomes one of those clap-yellers.
He in-ass-in.
I love that the new guy she got is like some choir boy.
He looks just like, oh my god.
He's an intern.
What did I do?
He is petrified.
It's like back in.
He was some adda.
It was like back in 2003.
I was working for a studio executive who has yelled at me for 12 hours every single day
And one time it was like a sundae and his grandmother died and I was like he was in Sundance
And I was like yeah, he's in Sundance and then he's like I got to come back early because my grandma died
And you have to pick me up from the airport and I was like okay, and I had to like drive and pick up my morning
Boss from the airport and I had drive them all the way back and it was I was like I have to beat like
Like I have to beat I'm like still you're supplicant
But I have to also like somehow be like emotionally there for you right now and it was like very difficult. Oh
No, I'm your driver. I'm not there for you
My ass will never fake it which I guess is why I've never asked to be anything for anybody
I guess as well, if it's never asked to be anything for anybody. Aw, well, let me drive with you.
So, like, yeah, be there for you, but not just driving.
Yeah, if it was new,
I don't think you've ever driven me.
I don't think I've ever,
well, you don't have a car anymore.
Yeah, it's a drive us sometimes.
We used to take turns driving.
Really?
It's just been so long since I've had a car.
I know, back in your Fiat days.
Oh, no, I never took you in that.
I always took you in my career.
Prius, you know what, that's right, I did ride in your Prius.
I was just embarrassed to put anybody in the fiat.
Because the fiat was one of those things
that looked so cute in my head,
but then I got inside and I was like,
that goldfish who's gotten too big for the bowl,
like you have to buy a new bowl.
Yeah. And I was like, I can't just go buy a new bowl.
Yeah.
Bye. Bye.
No, it's, yeah.
Now I'm just out in the world bowl.
Yeah. The world it's, yeah. Now I'm just out in the world, bowl. Yeah.
The world is your fish bowl.
You're not a fat gold fish, aren't a little stick.
I just, I was thinking about that.
You're based like a doctor, C.S. Cardiac.
So, yeah, so now we go to Bethany and her wicked witch morning outfit.
And she's like, well, you know what?
I was a mass fan and so
you texted me and I was like no I got a higher private plane I was like you
know what like be strong it's for me now okay private plane to New York
I got a plane meeting like okay like seriously like it was so hard and I was
with my daughter but I was like you know what's more important Bobby that's
happy so I got a plane so I'm here I have I have a plane I have a plane right here
like a little landed in the park right here.
She goes bobby-loving.
So that's it.
No matter what happened, would you?
Bobby-loving.
You know, and I've lived bobby too.
And then they shut up this clip.
Oh my God, that's later to clip the thing.
Well, they do show a flashback of Bethany and Jill
during their breakup in season three.
And it's kind of funny now in hindsight,
because Jill was like, you know what? I can't be friends with you. You're yelling at me all the time. Like, everything I do, you yell at Jill, it's kind of funny now in hindsight because Jill was like, you know what?
I can't be friends with you. You're yelling at me all the time. Like everything I do, you yell at me. It's hard.
I can't do it. It's like too much for me. And I was like, you know, it's funny because this is basically what Carol's saying, right?
I mean, Carol's like, you're so aggressive, you know?
True, yes. But Jill complaining that anybody is talking to me. I mean, Beth and Jill together.
I mean, people are saying that I hope Jill comes back obviously. I hope that's not true
I hope it's just like I want Jill back
I like the poor captions people the close-caps. Yeah, it'll be a lot. Oh my god
I want Jill back with some happening in the closed captioning room. I want Jill back. My problem is that I don't think there's room for her
Well, they can always make room. Yeah, as we've seen so So this is where she's like, I have a bad one with you.
I have a bad one with you.
I have a bad one with you.
I have a bad one with you.
I have a bad one with you.
And then they showed some hearty.
They were at where Beth and Jill and Bobby were all hanging out.
And she's like, if you love them, take them out of vagina like a vase and set it flowers
and joke them.
Do you love that line?
Do you love it?
Is that not the funniest thing you ever heard, Bobby?
My vagina is like a face. Oh my god.
Jody come listen to this come with bet bet and do it again do it again for Bobby and for Jody now
Jody you hey Jody I hear you're moving to Jersey soon, huh? Okay before you move to Jersey
Hear this line here come on J-J-J- okay, where's Marion Bean stop Marion come over here?
Let's be a prep rival on the street. Hey
Marion, come over here. Let's play a crap drive on the street.
Hey.
Hey, Bethany is very sick of a giant.
Hey, have a giant, have a giant as like a baby.
How is it get Bethany?
How do you say it again, Bethany?
But the giant's like a flat, Marion, come over here.
This Marion Beanstalk, she's very important.
Bethany, you should meet her.
Marion, okay, now she say the thing about the flowers.
I mean, it was hilarious,
because it didn't even make any sense.
Treat my vagina like a vase.
You're gonna have one bloody vagina.
I'm gonna hook him up asking for roses.
If I were a treat of a vagina like a vase,
then based on that vagina would like sit empty on a shelf
for like months and months and months.
And then finally I'd put something in it
and it would die.
Yeah, I'm gonna go very quickly.
No, and it's like I never changed the water in the base, you know.
Yeah, I've been in some water so far in here.
Maybe I might put like, I might put some decorative things in that vagina
just to be like, I have this vagina here.
I should do something with it.
Here I'll put some beads in there.
And now you got beads in your vagina.
Do you love that line?
Mmm, I do.
I love that!
I love that line? Do you love that? I love that!
So then,
Durango is back at the car of the building.
She's like,
they don't make them like that anymore.
And my concern also has been by now,
Durango, Jesus Christ.
Every single person has to make it about themselves.
And she's like,
don't look like a moment of stands lovely and I'm gonna stay in this, but I bet you mean,
Jills believes.
Which is so sad and probably true, because probably a long bout.
He was, yeah, he had that cancer, man.
That cancer, he had it for a long time, and so, you know, that was probably very tough to,
so I think that was probably very tough for Jill.
I'm a message to cancer from what you're crap, and it's fucking cancer.
Fuck you, cancer.
Major fuck yourself. Yeah, thank you for taking some of our favorite
Provo stars like Bobby and also Daisy from Blood Sweat and Heels like not cool. I know I wish it could be like steel by
Moli is where you're like here. So then we see a flashback of Bobby last year with Tom and Luanns. I was like wow, thanks for changing so much. So now it's the, it's,
so Bethany arrives and it's just lots of Bobby montage. There was like a scene. I appreciated
this. There was a Bobby scene where he's like, hey baby, I love you. Whatever he says. And
we saw a rare glimpse of Cindy Bar shop in the, like it was like close up on Cindy. I was
like, wow, they're really bringing bringing out bring out all the tricks. Hey did this Bobby do that line again Cindy about the
Vajass I'll do it Cindy. Cindy is like really that's all she would say
every she's just like she asked me about my vagina I was like really. She was
like really really these women sick. She was like, really?
Really? These women seriously?
She was dumb.
Was a job.
She was the proto, the Kristen, you know, seriously?
Seriously, it's really honestly the,
like the woman who really pioneered seriously, seriously,
was Cindy Bar Shob.
Really?
Cindy Bar Shob doesn't get enough credit.
I mean, Cindy Bar Shob really was hilarious.
She was a hilarious casting choice.
It's just that any scene she was in,
she's like, she just looked directly
into the camera and go, really?
Every single time.
I was thinking about the other night,
like two nights ago, and I was like,
I wonder what Cindy Barchock thinks.
Like, did she ever be like,
I was on the real house,
well, I was like, how did that happen?
I'm like a normal person,
just living a normal life. And I was actually on the real house house in Like how did that happen? I'm like a normal person, just living a normal life.
And I was actually on the real housewives in New York.
I was, well, you know, she's got like those little
time diamond tweezers that you're holding like the glue
to diamond on the VJJ.
And some ladies like, oh my God, I love you on real housewives.
And she just stops like right above the giant thing does.
Really?
She's like, why did you vijazzle really onto my vagina? Really? Really? She's like, why did you vajazzle really onto my vagina?
Really?
Everything's really.
So Beth and he comes, she goes into this funeral and comes out
and then she's like, I don't know.
I'm not, but a seriously, I'm just gonna go in and out.
No, that couldn't go on because I was like, why am I gonna leave?
I don't know. I'm gonna leave.
Oh, am I gonna leave? Or am I gonna go?
Oh, why am I leaving? I just can't leave.
Why can't I leave? Why can't I leave?
I'm't leave.
Congratulations for having a basic amount of empathy
for a woman who just lost her husband of 20 years.
It's like congratulations.
You had an impulse to wanna stay and console someone.
When she goes up to Jill, he was wearing her defiwear.
Jill is seriously wearing these big cute,
kind of cute.
There were a little steam punky.
Like, she was a little Edwardian.
I just wanna say before this even moment,
there was a flashback.
I think I actually started to cry.
I'm so embarrassed, but I started to cry.
Everyone, when there was a scene of Jill and Bobby somewhere
and she's like, well, you know what,
the good news is I always have you and he goes always and I was like I just started to cry
Sad you know, they love each other is cold and shitty to just sit here and make jokes on somebody die
Well, we're not making we're not making you we're not making jokes at the fact that he died
We're making jokes at some of these women's reactions and funeral
It really it really was fucking sad my god, So then Bethany is like, I'm a bad joke.
Like seriously, I was gonna leave.
Like I was gonna leave.
And then I'm like, why can't I leave?
Like seriously, we're all going to attend your wire meeting.
And then I remembered Kevin's on vacation.
So I just had to wait around for the new kid.
And then Jill goes, I'm so proud of you.
I am so proud of you.
I just have to tell you Bobby loved you Bobby love you
I'm betting you guys. I know I know
It's like okay, all right, so I love that Bethany can even make a funeral about her. I know I know I know
Here you be Jill I'll be Bethany.
You be Jill.
What do I do Bethany?
I'm all alone.
Okay, we're all alone.
We're all alone.
Okay.
Guess what?
We're all alone.
I have to go to my bed and there's not anybody's needs.
It's a meek because I'm alone, Bethany.
Guess what?
Guess what?
I'm alone.
We're all alone.
I've been alone all this time.
Guess what?
I just have cookie.
I'm, guess what?
Ma'am, I'm opening credits. It's cookie. Now, what do I even have? I don't even have cookie. I have crumbles, that's what I get.
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm sorry, I got a text. I'm going to text. Huh? Huh? What's going on?
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah. Hey Jill, guess what?
The jeans look great on you.
It's going to go.
Right? Yeah.
Guess I'll roll on.
Yeah. You know what?
Guess what?
My dad had that a few years ago.
Remember that?
Oh my god.
So she's like, where the get bags?
Like, where the get bags?
What a terrible funeral.
And Joseph, oh, you know what? I'm going to get every little shot class. It back? What a terrible funeral. And Joseph, oh, I don't know.
I was gonna give everyone a little shot glasses
and that's gonna be great funeral.
Thanks a lot.
And then she gets some her car in the east.
Yeah.
I did feel better when Jill was like,
I've been crying for a year.
I've had the last six months.
She was gone.
She was gone.
She was gone.
But he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it too.
Huh.
Like I used to have, like Kevin,
where's Kevin right now?
I went to ask him now, like, I got Kevin, I got an intern driving around.
He's gone too.
Like, you know what, he's gone.
Everyone goes, Joe.
I cried too when I realized there was a size about size 2.
Like, who knew?
I don't know, people got mad at me on the internet.
So many numbers.
I got a count now.
Huh?
Whoa, look at that.
I'm parents.
Sesame Street.
Huh?
I can't.
Like, come on now.
Like honestly, just like, one, two, three, I'm dead.
I can't. So the press made this scene like it was the biggest thing ever
because when Bobby passed, everybody's like,
oh my god, Bethany's into funeral.
And she shut up with an entire camera crew.
And it's like some people are like, oh, that's so disrespectful.
But I'm not following those people
because they're on a reality show.
And so it was like, you know, but I thought it was going
to be like a whole thing, which I can't say I'm sad
that it wasn't because I want to sit in for an hour funeral.
Well, they always said that there were no cameras inside the funeral. It was just outside, but some people were like, well, look at Jill Zarian.
Capitalizing off of Bob is death, having a full camera crew. I was like, you know, you people have to relax. They just shot on the sidewalk.
It's no big deal. And as we saw, it was actually totally fine and respectful.
Yeah, it might be, and I'll take deals
and I'll earn down for anything, but I was like,
yeah.
So then Beth and he is like, she tells us,
during the funeral, they kept saying,
Bobbi would never tell Jill love.
That's like what everyone said,
that Bobbi would never say no, never say no.
But you know what, he did say that one time.
When she said she's gonna make it right with me,
he said, no, you're not,
you're just gonna live with your actions.
Like, this is how Beth and he has turned into her.
Exactly.
Well, she said that Jill wanted Bobby to fix it
between the two women and Bobby's like, no,
you gotta do it yourself.
And Beth and he's like, see, such a, that's the one time,
one time he said no, it's about me, huh?
One time I said no, but guess what?
He brought us together after all,
because you know, it was this funeral.
I was like, yeah, we figured that out, Beth and he died.
He said after all.
He died, yeah, I can't say he died.
Basically, he's dead now. It's not the end of his life, it's He answered after all. He died. Yeah, I can't say he died. He's dead now.
It's not the end of his life.
It's like the beginning of our new story.
Yeah.
Yeah, so he did it basically for me.
Oh my god.
So then Bethany is in the car.
She's already sad.
You know, she's just crying.
And then Lee is like, hello, is it me or looking for him?
She literally answered by me, yay.
Hello.
It's like yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Oh I'm sorry, I was just finishing up a set here.
I had to treat my entourage doing what I call
Lube Array.
You're gonna work on that.
Take five boys.
Hello Bethany.
Oh, by the way, I have this is very important to me
and I've meant to tell you before the podcast,
I can't just tell you on the air cuz who cares?
Remember when we saw Countess and friends and there was that yes, that's it anyway going on
No, but 50% of it. Yes, I remember there was that wonderful older capore star who just like the one that I took off my panties for in through one of this
day remember how amazing she was
So I was having board game day here on Sunday.
My friend David was over here,
and he lives in the Bay Area,
but he's here this summer and he's Airbnb.
And he had told me he was like
rooming with some old Broadway name.
And I was like, what was the name of that lady?
He goes, oh Sharon McKnight,
I was like, I fucking saw her at Cannes and Friends.
So basically, my friend is living with that old
name and he's going to give us a hook up and we're going to go see her again.
Okay, I want to see her. Now I'm afraid of living with her because you know so be taking
to the French toast out of the freezer and like you don't want to be giving to your cash
for an old Broadway star. He says that she's amazing and I feel like he is so blessed.
Like he wakes up and she's probably like out there and I'm like three, two one.
La la la la la la la la la la if they could see me now they would see that I've made blessed. Like he wakes up and she's probably like out there and be like, three, two, one. La da da da da hard on me? I can't believe I got arrested and couldn't be there for Jill.
Yeah, I love Robbie, I love Robbie.
You know, I knew Robbie before Jill.
It's the first time he danced a big and big game.
Oh, it's him.
Yeah, she, Luanna's like, well, it's just,
Bobby's a wonderful man and, I didn't expect to get arrested
and not be there for Jill.
Just broke my heart.
I was like, that is a funny sentence to say.
Like, I did not expect to get arrested as I could be Rachel.
You're the rest of my purpose, has for sure.
I'm sorry I'm not there, but I'm not sorry I'm here because I'm doing really well.
It's a wake-up call for me, you know?
As in, I got woken up and I started saying, Good morning, good morning, it's new and in the morning.
Oklahoma is a state in this country.
She's like, do you know where I spent years here?
Intreatment.
They didn't even sort of drinks here.
Did ringing New Year's Eve a little alone.
Not knowing anybody, not getting cheers to anybody.
I'm not so sorry.
If that's all lovely,
those men sound lonely, temporary,
drivers, not being exempted in the mean, oh my God.
Oh, no.
I was scared to death.
I mean, it was horrifying.
People I don't know in a room
and were just sitting there saying,
happy New Year and no one has any champagne.
It was horrifying.
I was scared.
I saw my life flash in front of me.
I tried to leave, but then the power of cap array pulled me back in and I was like three, two, one.
Brother, acquaintance, we forgot there on a yacht. Over there with Tom.
You're about being a performer. You never know anybody until they know you. I stood up in
that rehab circle and I said, hello. Is it Louis you're looking for?
Duh duh duh duh!
Can I see you in your room?
And I feel it in your new year's eve.
You're looking for it.
Head things.
I'm not saying like, oh my god, I never heard you cry.
You're being so vulnerable.
You're being so honest.
I believe it.
Like I'm believing this from you.
Like I like it.
It's a good look. You're broken. I believe it like I'm believing this from you. I like it. It's a good look Yeah, you're broken. I like it
Love that she's judging her vulnerable ability scale. Can I wait? I like this. Yeah, you're doing good
I think the wind I love this line. Luangos. I'm so sad. I'm not there for Jill
I'm gonna go off and do the yoga class and do some deep breathing now. Bye
It's horrifying.
What was that?
Jill must be just going through so many things.
I'll be thinking about them as I do a down-for-dog.
So long.
I'm about to be like, I don't have,
all right, let's get to the big league, wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
The driver's like, oh, yeah, Bethany is probably
misdaisy, leave me alone.
Bethany is like, hangs up and she just by herself.
And she's like, wow, it's been some day.
I don't think I can handle any more emotion, right?
And the driver's like, am I supposed to laugh?
Am I supposed to engage you in conversation?
As she like, tucks down her witch's hat and hides under it,
he's like, uh.
I'm the fine gravity, I'm new in it.
Let's face it, it's time for commercial break.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but if we don one, it's going to be very day class set.
Okay?
Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
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Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident
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Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.
Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
What would we do differently?
And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll
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So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen
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You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or while Richard's and she's like, hey, so, uh, hey, uh, you have something to wear for the thing tonight and coverage is like, no, I don't have something
to wear tonight, I'm a child, I'm curious how I'm acting.
And like, oh, I know this really gets,
I know this is really good stylus.
And they like, okay, let's call the stylus
and they call Edna Mode from the Incredibles.
And I'm a Lord.
I love her actually, she's the best part of that man.
She is, but.
I can't believe she did something with these two jokes.
I like to Edna Mode, Edna Mode had a choice these two Joker. I like to add the mode.
You add the mode had a choice in the matter.
I'm not doing that.
So yeah, they had a really ridiculous commercial.
And then it was followed by a coupon cab and commercial.
I was like, wow, all the real housewives
are in their own commercials now.
Is it really advertising with these people anymore?
No.
Skinny jeans.
Yeah.
A genie can be skinny or skinny.
Exactly.
So now it's
Carol Carol and Tinsley Darry that one does scribble you just drew yeah, it's sort of Darry
Yeah, they're all in they're both in towels. They're gonna go down to the home mom Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know, it's like you're in a sauna. What is this? Why is this so hot? It's a steamroll!
Oh, how was it live?
How was it having Sonya as a guest?
She's like, it was really good.
It was really good.
I just don't care anymore.
She was really nice.
We had fun.
I just want like move on.
And Carol's like, this is sexy, too, bring Scott down here.
And she's like,
oh, I want to see myself make a girl.
Oh.
Oh.
So now that it tends to be decided to forget
other things that some, you know, Carol really is an asshole.
And that's an episode we are reminded
of what an asshole Carol really is you know she tricks me
this whole season I'm like oh Carol is back to the old Carol that I love this
one she turns into an asshole again but not necessarily this one it's just she's
such a nitpicker she's like this song you just leave an open suitcase on the
floor at this time oh! I missed that.
Why would she say that like a bad thing?
That's how I am when I go places.
No, everybody goes.
You go to all the calories.
No, not my-
No, not my parents.
My parents love to put their clothing
into like a little chest of drawers at the hotel.
They love it.
They love it.
I love the rehab.
I hate that.
I know, but for some reasons, my parents love it,
and the last hotel they stayed in
did not have a little chest of drawers,
and my dad was furious.
He's like, this takes this shit home.
I just, I guess I'll just have to pull my clothes out
of the suitcase, I'm like, yeah dad,
that's like, it's like not the end of the world.
It's like what I do.
So, Carol's like,
well, every time I talk to Beth,
and he had a leaf thinking, okay,
my friends again, and then something else happens.
And then I think, okay, we'll talk and we're okay.
And then something else happens.
And then we talk again, and then it's okay.
I'm like, we gotta care,
I'm gonna run to the clear.
And then something else happens.
Yeah.
So the news is that Dale is coming to town
and she wants to look at rings with Tinsley.
They're basically gonna go through the act of her being
betrothed, even though there's no indication
that that's happening.
I don't,
It's just been a repair, just a case.
Like sometimes we'll just stop dropping roll.
You know, it's fun.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, you know, I don't know if you noticed
the name of this episode.
I brought a really like knocked out of the park.
It was called faux weddings and a funeral.
I was like, that is so brilliant.
Like I'm not even gonna come up with a funny name for our podcast.
That is really good.
faux weddings and a funeral.
That's really great.
Yeah.
So now, whoa, let's go to South Hampton, okay?
For those who have to point out that Carol does.
Oh, you're gonna buy rings before you get married.
Is that a southern thing like steel magnolia?
It's like Carol, if you haven't even watched steel magnolia, it's okay.
It seems like just falls over because she didn't get her candy out of the tunnel.
Carol, stupid.
Oh, is that a character that I can tell?
Is that a reference to Darrell Hanna?
I've only seen one part of steel magnolia,
and it was when Darrell Hanna had some sort of,
or Julia Roberts had some sort of issue with diabetes.
Yeah, she was like diabetic and didn't get her.
Yeah, it's Lann or Shigger and Timer,
would that right?
And that's like the saddest spoiler alert.
Yeah, no, no, it's, I know that.
Bring up Steel Magnol at Hammer.
Dear you, damn.
You don't have to bring up Steel Magnolism.
That is reserved.
I'm really happy because this is distracted you from shaming me
for not having seen the whole movie.
No, it's okay.
Look, I'm a one time shame, right?
I don't need a shame you forever.
I like to shame forever.
I guess that's the Jew in me.
So now we go to Ramona's house in Southampton,
and she walks in, because her house is under construction,
and she walks in because she's redoing it and she goes,
oh my god, this is a construction site. I'm like, yeah, it's under construction. That's how that works.
Yeah, she goes, I feel like looking at a house under construction in my name because my kids are looking at houses and stuff.
You know, whoa, I feel like I'm looking at a house that has no flooring anymore. Yeah, there's no more flooring
We're making ask people to hang the course
Hey, or we hang a course, I don't know where to tell you to do it
I'm like, do you mean to tell me Ramona you had those two lovely gay man rearrange everything in your house
Only to have everything taken out so I could be stripped down and re re re re done
It's not weird. I thought that was the remodel. I'm really confused
Re-re-re-done I thought that was the remodel. I'm really confused by this whole thing.
To say, I'm in shock is an understatement.
Is that...
What's a different house? Does she have another house there that maybe Mario was living in or something?
This is... I wonder if... I mean this is...
I feel like this is not the same house that she's had since season one
I could be wrong, but I guess it probably is you know what I'm sorry
It is because I think I think in the divorce she famously got to keep that awesome house because they have an amazing
Hampton
We've seen this a new house right because she's like oh that's right
I'm this because I'm business whoa okay. Oh, is this a new stuff, but she made this whole very important
I'm maven when it comes to flooring I'm'm a maven. Everything I do. I just sort of
become a maven. I guess I'm a bit about flooring. And this standing is really great because
I'm a maven on the standing, okay? I feel like a good stain. I got really like that.
She's like, I'm dizzy. Look at these. They're made out of wood. I'm going to get on them.
I'm like, does that mean that's a stain? I can're made out of wood. I'm gonna get on them. Ah, ah, ah, ah. So it doesn't mean that's danger.
You can't even just look at a scratch up for a new floor.
Most people get divorced and say,
out with the old and in with the new.
But I'm like, I like my real estate.
So I'm just gonna change it.
I'm like, yeah, you are getting rid of all your old
purchasing and fixtures and bring your new things, Ramona.
She's like, it's kind of new.
Yeah.
So she said, Karah is like,
ha ha wait till the kids are saying, oh my god, they just know kids.
It's kind of funny. It's kind of like the reverse thing.
It just turns bobby. It's like, oh my god. Oh my god. Wait till I tell my daughter
slash best friend, Avery, about what happened to the kitchen out here.
Oh my god, it's like, oh, it's like,
I'm leaving about seeing the future,
but even I didn't see this.
Oh my god.
This is how we communicate.
Ha ha ha, she said,
bah bah, and only we understand
what those little baby twins on the tube of you.
One time Avery and I went to a sheep farm,
and we got so confused,
because we're like, bah bah, bah, bah,
and she was like, bah bah, but they all told the sheep, but like, bah bah, bah, bah, I'm like, which one is Avery? I went to a sheep farm. We got so confused because we were like, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
but they all said sheep, but like, bop, bop, bop, bop.
I was like, which one is Avery?
Which one is a sheep?
I can't tell.
It's not right.
It's disrespectful.
Day, class, say sheep, okay.
Fortunately, we all got shorned. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was like, whoa, look at all the wool. I want to touch it. And Jeldin, possibly said, don't touch the ship. Not a lat.
And to this day, I can't wear wool, okay?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't even know if it's itchy,
because I can't even wear it.
Can't even watch the look,
because that guy's name's Chuck Woolen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Neville because he says cotton is the thing that cotton the fabric are likes and I'm like I don't understand the difference in cotton and wool they're both fabrics okay fabrics
What is my good day?
So Carl's like okay, we're gonna fuck her up so she leaves
Oh no, I actually leave she goes whoa they say careful what you wish for because I didn't get it
Muna, what are you talking about this in what are you talking about?
How many things is Ramona just to slaughter in this one's feet?
Now I have to give a standing ovation for Dale because her entrance on this scene was just sort of like brilliant.
She just sort of comes gliding down the sidewalk.
Like that wind is in her hair.
She's got a rolling suitcase and she just is like effortlessly like southern and rich.
It's full for her.
She's like, ha, I'm Dale.
I've arrived.
I've arrived.
How are you?
How are you?
It's like every door man loves.
He's like, really?
Do you want to hear?
No, not really.
Her blowout is about to like take off
because it's just like full of so much air.
Just billowing through it, you know?
So this is one of those, I mean,
we pretty much know this relationship
and we know it in so many people in life
where she comes in and the current says,
tensley's dog Barbie.
Hey, don't name your dog Barbie, it's a stupid name.
No offense to anybody, really name Barbie.
Me, that is not your dog if your mother takes care of it, okay?
Yeah.
It's your mom's dog.
Yeah, exactly.
So Daila shows up at the door and
he's like, oh, and she like takes Barbie and just like the door just like slams and
does. I was like, I had a graceful entrance down below and I have to maintain my
streak and be like, she's like, can't hold all her luggage.
I don't know if you know you. I adore seeing my mom, but it's like,
we see each other all the time, like,
every five minutes, like,
as you leave,
walk, leave,
as you walk, leave,
like, hi, Barbie.
And her mom is,
I knew you'd be happy to see you,
heel.
Hey, I'm giving back to Graham, MOVA.
I'm like, of course,
she would call herself a grandmother,
like, totally, like,
very formal, the most formal way
to say grandmother.
Grandmother.
I love Gail.
And I'm so good.
Gail.
No, I'm talking about a top chef.
I love Gail Simmons.
I love Gail Simmons.
Okay, this is a break to talk about Gail Simmons.
It's just kidding.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail.
I love Gail. I love Gail. I love Dale is wonderful. So she said, I didn't tell you, look,
someone I came here to stay in,
I said, oh, really?
I think the-
I'm making Dale face for this.
Yeah, because we're actually recording in person today,
and we've both been making all sorts of like faces.
Like, I got dizzy before,
because I was doing crazy Ramona squint
I was like whoa
My head was bouncing and everything and I was like seeing stars afterwards. Oh my god
Mickey those TV party hot videos where we see ourselves. Oh
Yeah, we'll be what is my Ramona. I just like a crazy person picking my head up against me on a
Yeah, someone today someone on Twitter today was like hey, I'm a new I'm a new honest. Yeah, someone on Twitter today was like, Hey, I'm a new listener, love your show.
It's hilarious, but the impersonations are crazy.
And on Southern Trauma keeps saying garsh all the time.
I'm like, yeah, no, that's, no, we're aware.
I know, but the way we're aware.
Those don't come out of nowhere.
Sometimes we'll think we made stuff up
and it's like, oh my god, we didn't make that up.
Yeah. I always thought we talked about landed know where, you know, sometimes it's a political thing we make stuff up and it's like, oh my god, we didn't make that up.
Yeah.
Like I always thought we talked about, like she was a dolphin.
No Catherine said that.
Oh.
So there we go.
You know, it's like things like that, we don't remember it now.
But I will guarantee you once a season, you'll hear stuff go harsh.
Go harsh.
So anyway, Dalenton's relocated the lobby bar and Dale's like, I like a healthy poh,
please, whatever one one you got going on
mess so they're sitting there and they're talking about they're hanging out in Dale's like
um just like well you know it tends like you would drink in a lot last year and she's like oh
but it was some way for me to get over the pain I was feeling I'm really going to go there
I'm like it tends to just be like, yeah, I know.
I just love that her mom's fucking
with her the entire time.
She's like, well, the plot was nice.
I didn't have too much to drink, unlike you.
So, I'm talking about it.
I don't know the flame.
I just mean in general, I still have what a mess you want.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
She's like, oh, that reminds me.
I got a slit and she pulls out this thing and looks like a cap on a wedding bill.
So, it's a chance that you got to take care of this.
Oh my god, this is my endo, oh my god, I'm already in one idea, I gotta take care of it.
You just need to pay a chance, then.
Oh, okay, I need to pay, I need to pay.
Oh, I'm just lobby, this is my lobby.
Oh.
See, what do they do if you don't pay it? They just throw them out? Oh, I'm the sloppy, this is my lobby. Oh.
Is he gonna say, what are they doing if you don't pay it?
They just throw them out?
Said, no, no, maybe they just throw them out.
Whatever.
Oh.
Oh.
So, day I was like, oh, by the way, I may have done something.
A little naughty the other day over Christmas when I was talking with Scott's mom. then he was like oh I was worried about you and Scott's mom but get along
so it's not a cruise or something yeah well I think oh I thought it was that
over Christmas when they're either way it doesn't matter but I think they want a
cruise or something over Christmas maybe yeah so so basically so Scott's mom
had said something along lines of like listen, like take your time.
No, don't rush into anything and Dale was like,
well, Tinsley doesn't have a lot of Tom left, you know,
eggs and such, you know, basically her uterus
looks like her crinkled leaf around October.
So anyway, if this isn't gonna work, you gotta jump,
shrap, Tinsley could you believe I said that?
Ugh!
It's hilarious!
Tins is about as wet as a...
...as a...
...cook noodle.
Okay, so I said...
And I said, and if you need something better, you need something soon.
You should jump, SHIP!
Ah!
It's a thunder!
And Tins is like, what?!
You don't look jump, SHIP!
Because the reason it's funny is because we brought a boat.
And that's a jump ship.
And then they looked at me like,
jump ship, and I thought, what a fucking boat joke.
And I was like, sail away, sail away,
sail away, which was doubly hilarious,
because we also happened to be listening to Anya on the boat.
It was doubly hilarious because we also happen to be listening to Anya on the boat. But, haven't you pushed away boymate?
You think that's funny?
She's no, it's not funny, it's funny.
It was actually very funny.
I was told it was the funniest joke told on the boat that night. Oh Mac all butchers the man Oh, but I am sorry
I'm sorry, butchering it is my life
And then she starts doing that little girl hair flick she is
She's like, it's my life, it's my life, I'm gonna piss mom
Okay, it's not funny, it's not funny
Dumping up her
Princess
Mom, you know I want to be a princess in real life
I love Dale, too, you know that she know that she's the last thing I need right
Up up up up princess
She's like mom is the last thing I need right now
Here we found out this week through Instagram pictures his friends were shipped from southern charm
Okay, you can tell the they've been hanging out,
because she goes,
Mom, gee, my goodness!
It's like they're just such a stuff thing to say.
And so she's like,
so I got, Tinsley's sort of like making a lot
of noise in the day, I was like,
wow, it's down, she's like,
we're in a lobby in my hotel, I'm sorry,
I live here!
Here's a new stress off my boyfriend.
And then the mom goes,
well, that just might be a fun time
that we go pick up waiting dresses.
And then say,
Oh my God, I don't know what's open,
we're gonna say that.
Yeah, it was based on the equivalent
of Rose taking Celeste to the mall and soap dish.
Like, you know, you want this right now.
That's, she know that the way to always like turn
tinsly around like,
Mom, I'm so mad at you.
How about we go to Viral Wine oh okay yeah mom it was so pathetic and hilarious yeah two
or a nats you get a day on his creative a fucking monster and it is like but
don't tell Scott he has to be a secret because I'm getting up and I try to
love oh my god this is being televised by the way. I'm like, this is being televised.
He's gonna find out.
I know, she's so silly.
I'm at least liking it.
I was cracking up the whole time.
Yeah, so now we go to Carol's apartment
where she's basically kissing her kitty cat
and dressing this like 1990s, like black,
what was it?
It's like a little black, bestie thing
with like a white tank top
or whatever. It was like very like yeah it was it was from a different guy.
I heard her new blue grey couches. Yeah, because she starts on one couch. She's like,
hello Cosmic Politan, this is Carrie Bradshaw. And then he's like,
I couldn't help but wonder how many cats are too many cats. We got new couches
And then she does the next part of the scene on her different cats
Yeah, she didn't talk about the marathon so that was good. I know they don't forget last year story line
Yeah, yeah So that was good. I know. Don't forget last year's story line. Yeah
Basically, she like the editor wants a draft and I was like, okay Yeah, and then we learned that she hasn't spoken to Adam or seen him in two months
Mary for all I know just
Getting is not I don't think maybe
We think about it on a different couch.
Also did you, I didn't read the article, but I looked at it.
You know what I mean?
Where does-
Oh, Carol's article?
Oh, I didn't even see it.
Yeah, because she said,
Well, I mean the marathon and how I'm a feminist, the end.
Oh yeah, I'm talking.
What is taking you, who gets this long, correct, like that?
And how many words, was it, it was like 500 words
or something that you had to write?
Just look at it, because it was like an embarrassingly small amount.
She's actually like, it's a new book, you know?
Yeah.
So she's like, oh, I think I'm in that line.
So I'm like, that's cute, because in your mind,
you're like, carry Bradshaw in 2000.
Yeah.
You're like, really?
Carol Bradshaw in 2002.
Yeah.
When a young person does it, it's like, oh my God,
I'm having so much sex, just where? Yeah. When an old person does it, it's like, oh my god, I'm having so much sex.
Just where?
When an old person does it, it's like,
I don't know, you need to think about your retirement.
Yeah.
I couldn't help but wonder,
was my IRA saving me money for retirement?
Or is I retiring just to get my IRA?
Like, sure, blogging for a certain percent. It's like, not that exciting.
It's a terrible thing.
Like, she's running the sex comm in the ARP magazine.
Ooh, she's like,
Hey, Kimmy, are you ready?
Are you ready?
You're right.
And the cat's like,
my cat broke up with me with a post, it no.
What wasn't really a post, it no.
It was more just like, she went into the corner
and it's just been sitting there for three hours.
The cat really is one of those cats.
So we had looked at her,
it's like I'm gonna eat your face off one day.
Yeah, please get less feathers.
The cat was like, I missed the old cat.
Do you know how great it was to scratch that thing?
When you die in the apartment, I'm eating you.
So now Dale and Tinsley were at a bridal boutique
where the sales guy, he shows up.
And I really like that he was coming to their level
because he was in full proof face.
He had that yellow jaundice proof face going on.
You know, people use the term
in balloon puts you much.
Yeah.
Oh my god, really?
Is there kind of warms?
This guy literally looked like,
you know how the balloon puts had so much makeup
but they couldn't get it too close to their eyes,
because back then makeup was just made out of like tinted cancer or whatever.
Yeah, so like, let your eyes, so there was like this like white line in there.
Yeah, and that's what he looks like.
Yeah, my, he was like a serial, okay, he's like a vampire who doesn't like being pale,
so we cut off some gay guy's face and put it over his face.
Yeah.
He's wearing like blue contacts.
He's like a gay leather face.
Yeah.
Which I think was leather face gay actually.
But he's like a gay, but like he's like leather face in the city.
You know, like if he's like leather face is like,
I couldn't help but wonder what the city would have been like.
It's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
And leather face like gets to the city and like puts like orange all over. He's like, he knows he sticks out. He's got leather face. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh that awful woman's face. And started to get there with another woman's face.
And then I stole someone's blue eyes and put them on my eyes,
I guess.
I couldn't help but wander.
In my quest to have a good head on my shoulders,
should I stop taking people's heads off their shoulders?
Oh, my God.
My God.
He's just that brunch.
So,
Charlotte, how's the baby making going? I'm a real squirter. So Miranda,
did you make partner yet? That's great. I'll have a finger. I mean a coffee. She's just not that into you. That's why ripped off her face.
I do have to say several people have, since we started our rant about proof face this
week, several people have reached out to us via Twitter or email or whatever to point out
that the, apparently the banging of all this is banana powder, which is this thing that
like basically women are putting yellow on their face
because it's gonna make your like contours or whatever look better, but it's being overused
and not everyone should really be using Nana powder because not everyone has the skin tone
that can handle yellow smushed on your face.
So that's why everyone looks crazy right now because Nana powder is like the thing and it
may have been like a Kardashian.
People are fucking crazy.
I am so resentful of the fact that you started doodling
when I started talking about that.
I'm not a fan of the Anna for either look.
I can draw.
Actually, it looks like my bananas if you look over there.
No, your bananas, like very accurate.
It's like the same color.
It's dark.
I'm just gonna draw you a banana to show you how much I was thinking.
I actually appreciate that.
Oh my god, that proof face is so funny.
I love that you mention it and then everybody's like,
Spiritedly somebody said it!
It's like everybody's been looking at these faces,
like what the?
No, it's like, look here's the thing,
I wouldn't even mind purface if someone bother
to make Privneck as well,
but no one's doing Privneck.
So it's just like this John Dess,
he's with a highly John Dess' faces and then like pale necks.
And it's like, and it's across all races,
because I was watching her husband's cheating on us,
and one woman on there, she's a black woman,
and her face was like golden.
And then her neck was sort of just like pale tan,
and it was like, it was a mismatch, it was crazy.
Yeah, gotta keep consistent with her.
Yeah, okay.
Look from all angles of drawn TV. Yeah, please. It's cracking me up the muscle just help because she's actually selling
makeup that's supposed to be the first makeup this for every skin tone. Yeah, it's like totally the
wrong skin. Exactly. So let's see. So now that they're at the bride's doing, he's like, hey girl,
get up there. Everything. I'm gonna go over there because you're about to know me already and I
have to go down my store and I'm gonna sell nothing for free. Great
So she's like oh
I like when they say they start you know leafing through these dresses and I just love Dale like
Vicariously living through her you thing and because she finds which goes I think that
She like had this like deep southern moment. I was like, from the depths of her soul.
God, oh, oh, just good.
God, I'm Terry's like,
so I think this is for the bride, right?
You're the bride, Tinsley, and the mom's like,
she wishes, oh, one day for men to stop jumping off
the boat, I'm the fuck you do, man.
This is the fuck you do.
Hey, Tin's lit.
Did you see that joke of one of the babies that baby booties
in your socking, German, you have?
How old are you getting without having a baby?
Did you see that, you're Tin's lit?
Oh, that was so good.
She's like, Mom, are you putting baby booties in my stockings?
Oh, yeah.
Did you never see new stocking has an expiration date? I'm in. I put it in an old milk container and in a long clock to monitor tick tick tick you're expiring
hilarious
This one up a kicktacks in there but then I got a sloppy and mocked at the end of the
kicktack
I'm sorry you got so mad I just assumed you'd be too drunk to care
Terry the bread guy cracked me up because he went to the mom's like I'm sorry you got so mad. I just assumed you'd be too drunk to care
Terry the bread guy cracked me up because he when the mom's like
He goes well, you know what they say
Back the tracks and the party will come. I'm like, what are you stealing from field of dreams?
You bar it they will come
Yeah, that's... I think I want to say we've been in the big breads again, Mom, because the first wedding was all about me and my mom.
And then they show her and her mom doing the exact same thing like 50 years ago or whatever.
I was like, what did you get married when you were 12 years old?
I like that, Tinsley, is basically having the super super privileged bratty version murals wedding like
The mom just like oh Tinsley you're terrible
So they're looking at dresses and like every dress that Tinsley puts on Dale is like oh
Tinsley that is the dress
That's it and Dale was like, oh, Tinsley, that is the dress.
That's it, Tinsley's cold. We should have said that.
Tinsley goes from like,
I don't know, I don't know,
they're been married since time.
Oh, what am I talking about?
I knew there'd be a big movie about that.
It just went to the back of the movie.
Oh, you know what, make this moment even better?
Is it with FaceTime to fertility doctor?
Yeah.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, mommy. You wanna face someone from D'Alt-E-D'O-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- He's totally his phone like this. He's like at his angle. It's like at the right angle. My fertility angle. Yes.
It makes me like authoritative, but also handsome.
So he's like, all right, well here is like a UV of your eggs.
And so we see an image of just like basically six dots.
And he's like, oh!
And her mom's like, oh, oh, it's a bright blue.
My grand-dad's like, it's my grand-dad.
Mom, it's so crazy.
There's a little dim moment in there. Oh, oh, oh, oh. My grand-dad's my grand-dad's mom it's so crazy
She starts solving like it's like Carol seen a hard-boiled egg touching a scrambled egg for the first time
They were very emotional. I was like are they both going through some sort of like hormone replacement right now because they were out of control
It's an egg. See as well, got impressed.
We've got some great, great, great,
but you've had to have a marriage,
and flip off.
Oh, and Tim's like,
oh, I'm starting to get mad.
I'm feeling it.
Maybe I'm gonna win, maybe I won.
Oh, oh.
Oh my God.
And then Ryan over these eggs was killing me.
It was insane.
And then finally the dark,
and then just like,
do you think doctor that she should freeze some more eggs?
And he's like, yes,
I think that'd be a good idea.
Of course, you're gonna say that.
She's like, okay.
And there's a lot of money to freeze your eggs.
Get someone else's eggs, okay?
Go to a farm somewhere and find a spring chicken
and literally ask for their eggs.
Probably around the same price.
So now we go to Sonya at home.
And she's doing her normal, like Mrs. Habersham mumbling.
She's like, did I take my mess in today?
Probably not.
Huh, let's see.
I know there was a dead mouse around here somewhere.
I got to clean that up.
So I take my brain five minutes,
so I need to take my brain energy.
I just don't know.
So Bethany's coming over it.
And whenever Bethany comes over, it's like, for Bethany, she's that friend who calls you and it's like, how are you?
But they really just want you to say, good, how are you? It's like, you can be like,
ah, here's what happened in my day. Well, you know, when people do that, they go like this,
they go like this, hi, hi, hi, how's it going? Okay, first of all, how are you? Good. Okay,
when I say, first of all, however you that means, second of all, now we're going to talk about me.
So she does give so many a time and stupid so many things.
Oh my God, Bethany's really here to ask about me, which of course is not true.
But Bethany's like, oh my God, she goes, I love your outfit.
It's tough here, but she goes, wow, my daughter's been wearing my outfit.
So I'm just wearing one of her teddy bears and you know, skinny jeans.
Bethany's like, oh my God, speaking of skinny jeans. Here we go, I got some for you.
They just came off, I don't know if we're using
all right, I don't want to run my skin.
I'm going to get skinny jeans too.
So when you are seeing one fucking scene without this.
I know.
So it's when you're sitting there.
And she's like, you know, it's funny because for me,
when I do my businesses, it's really just to like,
a creative outlet for me.
I got these shoes here, and I have that business
where I'm building boxes. I actually, it's cardboard business for me. You know, like I got these shoes here and I have that business where I'm building boxes. Like I actually, like it's cardboard business for boxes and I got the Sony iron
and Sonya rulers. I'm actually selling outlets. What that figure is creative.
Here's what I want to do. I want to take them to a very comments and we're going to have
an outlet outlet. She's only just outlet covers. I'm selling outlet
coverage shaped like a giant. I've got an outlet it's really cool it actually
it's like it's sort of like a little miniature fish tank and there's a little
fish in there so it looks like it's a fish tank but it's action outlet. We're
having some production and she's some cracks it caused a burn down few houses
but definitely is doing that smile so like her mouth is wide open. I really
hate. I really really don't want to be here.
So when she takes out the skinny jeans,
so you guys, oh, it's what our juicing girl wears.
I was like, okay, don't say that to that for me.
And also don't put anything else in front of girl
and playing it.
If you not learn to lesson, juicing girl.
Hey, juicing girl.
Yeah, so basically Sonia's proud
because she has a new shoe line. It sounds like, well, like while she likes to she's like it's my very first licensing deal
Which sounds like it's someone else's shoe line and they just are using her name right exactly
I believe what they all do, you know
You find somebody's making something and you put right exactly well except with the exception of Bethany Bethany's was a real
Her own you Jesus no, well, I mean her her company was really like her creation. Like that. But is skinny jeans?
I don't know.
I'm just curious.
I don't know.
I'm not the answer either.
But like Kyle Byelie and two, for instance.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I see.
So someone asked me to choose, you just put the thing.
Oh, okay, yeah, that's good.
That's cute.
That's cute for like an honest winner, right?
Yeah.
Because someone was now a guy on to my summit.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
You did come to my summit.
You made it ask of yourself.
Okay, that's right.
For an summit.
Yeah. So, she's like, well, okay, she was yourself. Okay, that's right. Brands on it. Yeah, so
She's like, well, okay, she was wow. Okay, so I just want to keep those things fast and you know what?
It was like so crazy because I was like, should I shove it or should I not shove it? Am I gonna go to shove it?
I have to get it. I have to get it. So I was like, should I shove it?
Am I gonna go to the shove?
Should I go to the shove? Should I go to the shove? Should I she's like, she's like, she's like, it's like here I am. This is a huge A, I actually took a breath out of school,
like I took her out of school because it's like time shift,
and she's like, what's a shift?
And I'm like, a shift is a shift,
because my girlfriend has been behind that,
that's what she's doing, so I feel like,
I'm just not even there, because she's in the bank.
Yeah, so I'm like, I'm like sitting with Ali,
I'm like, sitting there talking to Ali,
and I was like, how's it going?
How's your friend like paying?
Okay, great.
How's everyone's? Grow up, great. How's everyone's?
Grow up, okay.
She's gonna be so excited when she sees me
because she's never even met me.
And then Alex sees me actually,
or wait, seriously, for that.
I'm like, what kind of shiver was this?
Everybody's just screaming for a bath in a evening.
So I was sitting there,
I brought my skinny girl jeans
because you know, every morning wife needs to have
some skinny girl jeans.
And then Jill walked in and was like, oh my God,
it's, it's, it's, it's brim and she cried and everything
was happy and then she's made it she was wrong she made she was wrong and she
seemed she seemed humbled you know what and you know what I believe to I
believe to all the time I believe to I was like I'm glad I went to the
shipper yeah I'm glad I went to the ship I was like I really believed it I
really believed it and I realized I was like you know what yeah I'm really
sorry like there's a great shipper like this was like the best shiver ever
I've ever gone to it was great. We got a friendship back and I'm never gonna hang out with her again
I want to keep it exactly where it is
Yeah, that was great. Yeah closure. I did got her opportunity to apologize and I want to keep it exactly the same and she reaches out
I'll reach out to I'll have I'll have Kevin drive over to be like hey shiver and then like
I'll never hang out with that again. That's my end
God, I mean, wow.
Way to make it right here.
So again.
So now Sonya starts.
You lost.
Skinny jeans.
Like a skinny yarn.
I was like, hey, rock.
Skinny yarn.
Skinny yarn jeans.
Yeah, so it's a yarn.
It's 75% smaller than normal in.
Earn.
So even when you're dead, you sort of feel slimmer.
I brought skinny Hala.
So now Sony is like walking through her townhouse
and she got all her home improvements made.
So I thought this was gonna be a whole draw, not think,
but she was like, yeah, look, they fixed the baseboard
and the Wayne Scotting and they fixed the cracks
with Evan, Christie's happy.
I got banged by a football team and a hedge fund.
A whole four of hedge fund guys.
Everybody's like, do you need the facts machine?
You really need the facts machine?
And she's like, well, oh, I'm so mad at the contract.
They brought up here six years ago.
And then they just have not taken it back down since.
And it's like, what are you going to do?
He's going to facts.
Come on, he's going to facts.
It's like, I mean, that's Karen Huber, obviously, right?
Like, is that what we're all thinking? This is a song you not, he can't fix. It's like, I mean, that's Karen Huger, obviously, right?
Like, is that what we're all thinking?
This is Sonia, she's so foolish.
She's like, that was supposed to be down in the staff room.
Like, okay, so, you know, put your staff.
She literally has a room of staffs.
Like, she's like, oh, I got this staff here.
I got this in Nigeria.
I'm gonna hang out with the football team.
This is a central page of staff.
I'm handling, because look at the staff infection.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.'ve got to continue to that one room.
I had not noticed this, but some of you has all these humongous paintings of her just sitting
on the ground with her legs wide open.
Did you notice it?
No, I didn't notice it.
Son, you could you put your vagina away for two fucking sit.
Can I go up the stairs without staring at your vagina?
I'm not the giant ashamed you.
But who does that? And then right above the facts machine,
there's another Sonya vagina painting.
Is this the only position you'll allow yourself
to be painted in?
What the hell?
Well, maybe we'll just have to put to use
those oversized napkins that she has from the 1850s.
I can't even wonder he brought those huge napkins.
Just dripped them everywhere.
So Bethany is now sitting there.
Bethany is going through some sort of like catharsis.
She's like, you know what, I feel like my life has changed.
You know what, I like Jill's Aaron all of a sudden.
And you know what, I saw Ramona.
I was like, you know what, I don't even have any anchor to it anymore.
I actually sort of like it when you're mad.
I sort of like it when she's mad because it's something to make fun of.
You know what, if she doesn't like me, you know what, I'm cool.
It's sort of fun.
I'm like, okay.
She's maybe actually, she's always wrong.
So like, how's that my fault?
She's thought to be stupid, maybe I can let her be wrong.
I'm like, Bethany, you reach this epiphany every single season.
Like every single season you're mad, you're mad, and they're like, you know what?
I can't imagine her anymore because she's hilarious. You know what?
I sort of like at the end of the day, I'm so happy. She's crazy. I'm like, I'm like, you have to spend
8. Well now that she knows the entire cast is Charlie Gensner, she's like suddenly humble, Bethany.
Yeah, of course. It's Bethany Humble, so it's not really. She's like, I'm like, I'm so glad that like,
I was there to give Louie and her last rock.
Cause that was me who did that.
Remember when we woke up in that room?
There was fish and there was this.
When I was like, God give me water.
I was like, what are you talking about?
I was like, what are you talking about?
I'm like, what are you talking about?
They showed a clip of her saying, oh my god,
don't wait, like we're so wasted.
Like is Betty Ford open?
Yeah.
Dude, dude, dude.
I bet that it was like, you know what she said to me? Then she said, you know what, I think I need to go somewhere to like to detox. So it's sort of like open. Yeah. Do do do. I bet that it was like, and you know what she said to me?
Then she said, you know what?
I think I need to go somewhere to like to detox.
So sort of like I saw a coming.
I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah, she told me, she told me,
she's just clean up, she's just clean up.
And so some years like,
well that's a great place to be.
And she says,
and since then I'm out, like what happened to me?
I'm like, is called Metapos.
Yeah.
Turn on the air conditioning.
And like,
disturbing being like a sort of a more like a basic human being
So which is why there's gotta be something wrong. Yeah, so now we go over to a place called con body
Which is an exercise
Studio I'm so mad at the scene and this was all brought up on by Carol. Why were you offended?
Because Carol's doing assholes. She's asshole. Let me ask you something guy, con guy.
Okay, you're anywhere in this amount of years.
And then you get arrested.
And then you get mad cops.
And you slip them out.
And then you cut the cop.
And then you smash your door into a fireman.
Because it's just like rolling around to somebody's pay.
We would never do that.
We would never do that on the spot cast. Well, if you've got arrested, I wouldn't,
I wouldn't be like, hey Ben, while you're in jail,
we're gonna have a jail party
to make fun of you the whole time.
It's true.
I guess that's true, but it is kind of funny
what happened with Luan, so, you know,
so, so Carolyn Durrinder arrived first and Carol was like,
yeah, the guy who once does,
he spent seven years in prison and was like,
what was he in for?
She goes, trucks.
I don't know why.
This is hearing her, like, sort of like deflates while saying it.
Trucks.
So Carol's like, yeah, this one time,
like my friend called me at midnight.
I was like, let's go to Changatown.
We went there and I met a cos.
And cos runs this and they're like, go to Kanba. I was like, oh, there's just a way and was like, that's gonna change it now. We went there and I met, gosh, and Cos runs this and now I got a con body.
I was like,
there's just a way to be like,
oh, I went out at midnight and trying to town.
Like I'm just like hip and cool.
I can't actually know somebody from jail.
So she's like,
so, God.
What's this mean?
Cos, I just call them condeseries.
So she's like,
so this person did all of that stuff,
would you hire Lou Ann here to work here?
And he goes, is she black?
Is she darker?
I'm supposed to go wet.
And then during,
and Ramona goes,
she's Indian.
Ha ha ha.
Indians.
That's not dots.
She taps her head like,
yeah, she's Indian.
And during,
you were slugs from more.
And during the goes,
during the was like, ah, American Indian. She's like, let me just clarify this some more. And Durin goes, Durin goes like,
ah, American Indian.
She's like, let me just clarify this,
because we have someone who's being totally problematic.
So now they're all taking mug shots,
because that's the whole thing with this place,
is that you take mug shots, and you know,
it's like, oh, I like work,
because it's all the employees are ex-cons.
So then, Ramono, also, I love Ramono's reaction.
She's like, whoa, who's the one who started this place and
This guy's like me and she's like, huh?
Hi, I love an entrepreneur. Okay
Let's do Mario by
It's much shot. It's nothing but coldness and loneliness. I was like, no, it wasn't. It was actually a great much shot.
It was a fabulous much shot.
Yeah.
And you fucking drunk drug addict, Derinda.
Fuck you for getting so harsh.
That could have been you any second of the day.
Well, I think that's what she was saying. That's why she was like, aha.
She was scared. She was like, whoa, I probably could have been made.
I got mad.
Yeah, you just got really mad at DerindaArinda. I got really mad.
How could you say that about our dear D'Arinda?
It's so tasteless that they're all fucking just mocking her.
And she's like,
The dead is so cold and lonely, this is so, this soul.
I don't know, I think that, I think-
I think the comments in this.
I think Luan has opened herself up for the mockery
and I think it's okay.
I mean, I think they're supportive too,
but they're also laughing at it how crazy it is.
So the fitness class starts and Tinsley shows up
and it's like doing her mug shot again
and mug shot redo.
And again, they're all joking about Luann.
And like, like, oh, Luann will get a job.
Luann should get a job here.
Luann should get a job.
And Tinsley's like, um, wouldn't IBM first position?
Come on, I'm the OG of jail.
Wow. I believe it's so wide to be taken.G. of jail. Wow.
I believe it was so glad to be taking my mug shot finally.
Oh, long.
So then let's see about what's in.
And it's like, what did she say?
That she's like, hey, what's going on?
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Everyone thinks it's a mug shot.
It's like the tag line.
You're going to go, you know what group it is?
Yeah.
Then right behind her is the tag line. Has to go, you know what group it is? Yeah, then right behind her is the tagline.
Has tag due the time.
Yeah, and then, and then we see like all of their like fake
mug shots from Kanbadi and then right in the middle
is Luan's real mug shot.
I was saying that.
It was shady.
So let's see.
That's, oh my God.
I'm doing things so embarrassing.
So they're like, this is good with going to strip.
You know we eat girls strip.
You know, just how you celebrate your friend going to rehab and being out for one day.
Yeah.
And she said, can they fly all the time?
Okay, some wood, maybe boys.
She's like Jimmy Bringer.
And so he was like, a remote who was supposed to not drinking. And that's he's like, while we're not jailed. And so he goes like a romantic as well she's not drinking
and that's the thing is they're called we're not jailed and so he goes yeah but if you're
not drinking you don't care if anybody else drinks I mean that's how I am but I'm not
drinking. I'm like hmm I was just asked Sheena and Shay about how that worked out. So
um so now we go down to Palm Beach and Luanne comes strolling out of her treatment center
like ah I'm out I'm gonna go to the movies now. She was just sort of like So now we go down to Palm Beach and Luanne comes strolling out of her treatment center like
I'm out. I'm gonna go to the movies now. They were she was just sort of like effortlessly like like it was like she was just emerging from like Nordstrom It's like oh, that was lovely. I found some great deals and treatment and ready to go have a cocktail now
And they were literally playing the sex in the city thing again. They said they were making it sad. It's like
Yeah like the most city thing you can't except they were making it sad. It's like boring, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, yeah. It was, it was all that like that xylophone and
chimed thing. And so the man goes, I was shaken to the
cooler, shaken to the cooler, like a good ice-cold martini hour shake it to the core and take it in quickly.
I'll tell you, I told this last two months, I don't want to be stirred.
Oh, the shake-head, that's right!
I was trying to think of it James Bond.
Gold figure!
Golden Nu Ann!
So she calls Drone Death, she's like,
Hello, the Drones Me, Blue Ann!
There's a huge middle-quakey Willah, eh?
So I probably didn't have the best couple of years,
I was happy at a certain moment, but then I...
What's Mabbie at another point?
Look, I love Lee Wann.
Lee Wann's my hero, but you force your
that whole relationship and that whole marriage
and like, I don't know, sometimes these victims,
you look at the real news and then watch
these shows where they're like,
I didn't have a mask couple of years.
I'm like, yeah, I must be real fucking tough,
being fucking rich in on a TV show
and I'm not having to do shit all day.
Well, I mean, I think the thing is that like,
it's not that she forced this marriage and then it didn't
Didn't work out well and then she gets wasted and she's blin me down the marriage falling apart
It's that the forcing of the marriage was part of her emotional like spiraling downwards like if she was
I mean the truth was I think that basically what's coming out of this is that you know when things broke up with her and Alexander
Alexander whatever her name is, her ex, she just never really dealt with that emotionally.
And it's sort of spiraled and spiraled and spiraled.
And now it's like several years later, which is what happens.
You know, people don't handle their shit, and then five years later, it's like, you know, next thing you know, your...
Spiral.
...etc. So, Luan, but I...
Well, I always love Luan.
I know. and I'd...
The victim thing I get a little like, huh?
I also love Luan, uh, now doing therapy talk, you know?
It's just like, well, I've been self-medicating for a while.
Let's be honest, I binge in order to cover my emotions.
It's going to be all detailed in my new song called,
BINGENEMOTE, BINGENEMOTE! You see one thing, but you don't get to see the other three, two, one!
BINGENEMOTE!
BINGENEMOTE!
Shame!
It's what I'm feeling.
Shame!
I love the shame spiral.
It's basically shame.
I want to live forever, but I'm in a shame spiral shame
She does like a job
Being to do to do in the Tudidu in the courtroom.
They served in the courtroom.
And I was like,
the judge read me the charges.
It was,
you hear the cop,
tuntantum, tuntantum.
You knock down the door, tuntantum.
So the charges are all read.
He goes,
I could hardly believe that.
Me,
who I don't sense. I just don't see. Would hardly believe it I did that I did it so then she goes
then she but now she's reflecting on her time in Truman she's like well I I
can't remember the last time I've had this much time to be by myself and
reflect on all the things that happened to me.
HA!
I was like, I love it.
I was resting during yoga, losing weight.
I'm like, where did these people get sent?
Yeah.
I'm like the best vacation ever. It's like to rest, so I think...
That was really hard.
Man, I did yoga.
In the morning, then I have coffee.
Then I went to TV. Then I do yoga again.
And I have coffee again. And now I'm with, then I do yoga again, then I have coffee again.
And now I'm doing bodybuilders.
Bodybuilders blurring.
So, um,
Bodybuilders is saying,
yeah, I just like that and the way I'm laughed at her own,
like,
like,
like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm looking forward to taking a break from alcohol and experimenting with sobriety. I mean, maybe it'll catch on.
Probably not.
I've been driving, I've been prison.
I just want to be close to home.
And during this like, you want almost there in a boat.
Because I think that's what's coming up right now.
I also have to point out when all the girls were talking about it.
They're all gossiping after the con class.
During this like, I love those people who come out of rehab and they're like I never I never I never I have when people do that they just come out and
like maybe I've been drinking in here.
Well like you are officially an alcoholic.
I think the local people go to rehab and they keep drinking.
I also love that Luan is one of the few people in society where like pop culture who has
gone to rehab and we're all like don't stop drinking. Like just get your shit together but don't stop drinking Luan is one of the few people in society where like pop culture who has gone to rehab
and we're all like, don't stop drinking.
Like just get your shit together,
but don't stop drinking Luan.
We want you to be drunk.
And that was the end of the episode.
That was it.
There we go, the end part.
Hearts, we made it to the end of that.
And actually, you know what?
The previews for next week, apparently they go to spa day
and they all start fighting.
And I guess it sounds like Ramona was lobbying for an invitation to Tom's New Year's Eve
party and it's all gonna come out in the wash next week.
So that is gonna be hilarious and luckily we get to talk about it with all y'all in Phoenix.
So don't forget to go to watchcraftpins.com to buy tickets to the Phoenix show and the
San Francisco show because they're both gonna be hilarious if you've never been to one of our shows,
you're in for a huge treat. No one really understands it until they come to the show
and they're like, whoa, that was crazy and actually we're not lying, it's really fun.
Well, a treat. So watch for crappens.com for that and we will be back tomorrow to talk Southern Charm,
which is just gonna be crazy. They just filmed their reunion, which is sad.
I mean, the season's almost over.
So let's just wrap it up and bye everyone.
Bye.
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