Watch What Crappens - RHONY: Uncool Runnings
Episode Date: April 13, 2018Turn down your Countess Pandora station: we've got a brand new recap of the latest "Real Housewives of New York" episode. Carole runs her marathon, Bethenny barks at underlings, and LuAnn rem...inds us that Queen Latifah isn't REALLY a queen. In other words, it's spectacular TV. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
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And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master, give them whole, miss no Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crappens ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch
I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog calm and the band to blend the podcast and
Joining me on this magnificent
Thursday is the one the only the incomparable
Ronnie Keram from trash talk TVcom and the Rose Prick's
Bachelor podcast. What is up Ronnie? Well hello, man. How are you? How's it going?
Doing so great. I had a nightmare that you were mean to me. No. I don't want to
get weird nightmare, but you weren't even really mean. I just woke up. I was like,
why is he mean? Because you know how I'm really paranoid about stuff.
I said, hey, do you want to come meet out?
And you're like, no, I'm really busy.
And then you were at the same place I was.
And I was like, that is so rude.
That was my whole dream.
And then that's such a obnoxious move on my part.
That's like my dream to do that to someone.
You better not to me.
I woke up really bothered. And then
the rest of my dream is that I left my cell phone at the bar and I couldn't find it.
And I spent, I swear to you, the whole night looking around the bar. That's what I dream
about. I either get lost or I can't find something. And I spend the whole night looking
for something. I mean, it's so on the nose. But there you go. I'm still having those dreams.
So any therapists feel free to write us. I had a dream that I
Is such a stupid dream. I had a dream that I took a flight to China, but for some reason we had to land in the Philippines
Oh my god, I hope you're not psychic because malls is flying to Japan today
And I hope she doesn't have to land somewhere crazy. I mean I know China and Japan are different places
you guys but still I order from them from the same section on eat 24 so whatever.
You guys it's clearly we're clearly fraught with emotions pertaining to losing cell phones and
losing our way to the east but believe it it or not, there are more important things
about what's happening in our young, young,
you know, universes.
So a few things at the top of the show here.
Hi, hello, welcome to the podcast.
We are doing a live show this Sunday
at the improv of Irvine, California,
also known as the Irvine improv.
It's over at the Irvine spectrum.
There's a Dave and Busters there guys, so it's like a little bit of everything for everyone.
Taco Bell is coming, okay. In honor of all things Taco Bell on Bravo lately, Taco Bell is going to
be there with a Taco truck, free tacos, as long as supplies last, they're going to be doing some
giveaways. We all love some Taco Bell swag, right?
And of course, we'll be there.
And we're going to be talking about the real house
as of Orange County Classic episode from season four,
the Naked Wasted Dinner Party.
So we are going to have a spectacular time.
And I think it's really important for people to come to this
because if you don't come, you're just
going to be seeing photos on social media of Coachella,
and no one wants to see that.
So counter the Coachella madness by coming to Crapchella.
All right everyone, it's Crapchella on Sunday.
Crapchella.
Beyonce's coming, she's coming in from the desert,
so there's that.
Also, my new thing to be harping on,
wait, harping on about. Is my cousin, Jenna, her, I want to call
him cousin Reed because he's married to Jenna, but that makes it sound like inbred.
So I'm just going to say cousin Reed, okay?
Yeah.
Jenna's husband Reed is on the voice and he is fucking killing it.
He's going to get to come back out here and do the live shows soon.
So I'm so excited for him.
He's number two in rock today, which is amazing.
Wow. Isn't that fucking crazy? Does he have his own cell? soon. So I'm so excited for him. He's number two in rock today, which is amazing.
Isn't that fucking crazy? He has his own
Pandora station yet though just asking. So here's the thing.
He will, girl. So go, his name is Reed. I'm stat on the voice. Go download his stuff.
It's amazing. He's got like a blue grass rock,
kind of Adam LeBienisch, kind of voice, just singing all sorts of crap.
He's amazing. I cried when I went to see it, and you know, that doesn't happen a lot.
So, the takeaway here is that there is a crap ins slash voice crossover situation here
that you have to support.
Read actually was helping sell our merch at our San Francisco show.
So this is someone who is actively involved in the
watcher crappin's experience. So please go to the voice or watch it. Just like it's a
weird last name. It's um statita. Yeah. You am I don't know. So if you're German, you know,
just just put in R E I D you and then something should come up. Just look up read our EID from the voice. That's Ronnie's
cousin's husband and
I love him. He's really really sweet and he actually would have been at the Houston show, but he was under the weather.
So
but hopefully
back in a new show sometime soon and by the way we have plenty of shows and if you're if you can't come to Irvine
We have plenty so go to watch our crarapins.com to get tickets for that.
Here's the other thing I want to mention,
because people are tweeting at us a lot about this.
And I think that people are not always aware,
because people tune into different episodes.
We are covering real housewives of Potomac.
But because the Bravo schedule has been so
Intensely it's been relegated temporarily to the bonus episode because we just don't have time on our main episodes to talk about
Potomac, but we are totally in support of the new season. I think it's hilarious We are covering it and
Furthermore for those people who are like whatever happened to your summer house coverage
Last week on the bonus episode we covered the reunion and sort of touched on the finale. So just go to
patreon.com slash watch where crap ends. If you want to get that coverage, do not fear,
we are still addressing Potomac. It'll make its way up to the main show. And if you see
people tweeting about it or being like, where's Potomac? Feel free just to tweet at them
and say, hey, just go to the bonus episodes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So now, Real Housewives of New York City.
My goodness.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
that's my impersonation of the theme of the beginning.
What a show.
We don't deserve this show.
We are not necessarily this show.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has been a pain in our ass.
Yeah.
Real Housewives of Orange County did not have it strong as season.
We do deserve this show.
Okay.
We deserve the deliciousness that's coming to us now.
You know what?
You're right.
We do deserve it.
We do deserve it.
But it is so magnificent.
This is just a wonderful, wonderful show.
This is everyone on the other Housewives shows take notes. This is just a wonderful, wonderful show. This is everyone on the other housewives
shows take notes. This is how it's done. This is how you do a housewives show because real
housewives in New York is only two episodes in and it's already just hilarious and wonderful.
It sure is. And you know, Carol asks us important things. This is where, you know, we watch
these shows because we love privilege. You know, we'd like watching rich people like thinks stupid stuff is
really important. That's a fun event. So when Carol starts off from last week when
she was going, what better goal is there than running a marathon? I don't know,
but you know, four people can answer that in so many different ways. Yes.
You know, getting a job, paying water bill. I'm going to meet
there's so many more goals. Having your child go to college, graduating college, graduating
high school. I don't know staying alive. What better goal is there than running a marathon?
I can lose 30. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I would agree. So Carol. So the episode quiet rides a bill.
So the episode begins with the customary shots of different apartments.
And we start, we see something, a flash of Bethany at her apartment.
She's like, what the hell?
What's going on?
What is this?
She's like opening up a gift.
A paper like, what's going on?
Oh my god, Durinda.
Of course she does.
Durinda. I love the box. Oh my god, Durinda's like of course does I got a lot of the box. I'm a god. There's no cards so Durinda. I'm so obsessed. Oh my god. Yeah, it can only get one person
I got a lot of my god. Who is that? Someone is the door. Oh my god. Let me tell me now like my walls up my doors
My doors close my walls up. Okay, you know what?
Every time they show Bethany this episode
It's a really long opening of Bethany just talking to herself
Which is hilarious because I love that she talks to herself like she talks to everybody else She's like my god. What is this paper? Like what is this? What to herself. What is hilarious? Because I love that she talks to herself, like she talks to everybody else.
She's like, oh my god, what is this?
Paper? Like, what is this?
What is this?
It's a play.
It's a play.
Only one person.
Oh my god.
It's a Rinda.
Oh my god.
The door's knocking.
Like, she's just narrating her own life
in her Woody Allen crazy way.
It's like she's just having her own
so-credic dialogue.
She's just going, like, just questioning the world around her
at all moments.
What's it's present?
It's present, but no card.
And that's not filled out. OK, it's probably, but no card. No, it's not filled out.
Okay, it's probably Duranda, you know what?
That's okay, you know what?
She doesn't have to fill it out.
She doesn't have to fill it out because you know what?
The gift is the fill it out part, okay?
Duranda's the card, right?
Duranda's the card, okay?
It's like homework, okay?
You know what, I got a hall and I got a dormant named Mark.
Okay, I got a homework, okay?
So then we skip over to Tinsley,
and she's like,
Tinsley, table for three.
Oh, I'm static, quing.
Tinsley has decided to water her miracle grow
little bitch flower seed and it bloomed today.
And that's really nice, because it's very early
in her second season.
So it's an early spring over here on Real House Real House.
It really is, it's the Tinsley spring.
In the question of the Arab and Czech spring, it's the Tinsley spring. It really is. It's the tinsley spring. In addition to the Arab and check spring,
it's the tinsley spring.
It's fine.
Yeah.
Her awakening, her uprising.
Yes, her bitch flower is blooming well.
So Dorinda, wait, no, not Dorinda.
So she's like, well, static cling.
So Ramona meets her.
Ramona, who's wearing a black dress with like a red boob.
I'm not really sure.
She's wearing a red square boob.
I don't know who she stole but from.
I'm just describing it.
So in case anybody is missing something,
you know what Ramona's wearing right now.
Yeah, exactly.
So Ramona joins for lunch.
And she's like, whoa, you have static cling.
Whoa, I could wrap you around a bowl of fresh fruit
and put you into fridge with all your cling, okay?
Link wrap, okay? I took a wrap. I was given a wrap for the last talk show I did. Hi! She's like, oh god, tensing. I was out till like 2.30 in the morning.
I was like, yeah, you're real crazy, Ramona.
Ramona's still on her. I'm wacky and single, I'm ready to wacky mingle.
Yeah, exactly. So we wind up cross cutting back and forth
between the Tinsley lunch and Bethany's place
because D'Rinda arrives at Bethany's
and D'Rinda has more gifts than something
from the door man and Bethany's like,
I can't even take it.
You're making me out of order.
What's the matter? What's going on?
Like, I'm more gifts?
You know what it's clutter?
It's, you know, just give me clutter.
You know what I want?
I want space.
I want space. I want free space. I want the clutter. go, put it in the garbage. Like, I can't.
Like, you know what? There's too much going on in my life. Like, the got Puerto Rico. Okay, I lost something from Puerto Rico.
I don't want it. Is it a plane? Is it a plane I can give to Puerto Rico? No.
I love it. You can't even like walk into Bethany's house without working for her. It's like,
they're doing that game, you listening to you. I need this question shoes. I was trying to download it a little bit. It was really funny.
I was trying to down a little bit, it was really funny. She was like, I haven't seen Bethany for a long time,
but we talked a lot in the summer.
And I mean, Puerto Rico, when she does it, she does it.
That's Puerto Rico, they're done.
Puerto Rico is so done.
And then just like it's passing,
she's like, great job with Puerto Rico.
Sorry about cookie.
Yeah, sorry about cookie and Bethan's like,
yeah, well, it was tough.
It was just great dog.
Oh, I meant like I brought you a cookie.
It was broken.
Tell, have you ever met a cookie dog with 40,000
Twitter followers seriously?
Like cookie died in the prime.
She died in her prime, okay?
I'm really jealous of a dog right now.
I'm jealous of a dead dog right now is basically where I'm coming
Yeah, what's gonna happen with cookies Instagram account? This is still going to like memories of cookie, you know
Maybe it'll be maybe a new dog will take it. Maybe it'll be for biggie and smalls
They'll take over the second people who didn't know we're gonna be like wait a second. Why is a dog telling me to drink skinny girl?
second why is a dog telling me to drink skinny girl
so they know until it's over right cookie all right cookie all right you still live on your hot your hot your heart lives on your heart beats on okay Celine Dion I'm gonna name my next dog Celine and
I'm gonna be like yeah fuck wherever you are okay yeah yeah yeah far it's all coming back to me huh
not coming back to me now yeah yeah just I just imagined Bethany in that Celine Dion video
for it's all coming back to me,
stomping through a mansion alone,
like beating the Beast style.
I mean, like,
can they mind the story?
Oh, no.
It's all coming back to me.
I'll come back to me now.
Baby, baby.
I forgot again.
I forgot.
Like I can't,
like I'll say like this mansion,
like who made this mansion too big?
You know what?
I want to take it to, I'm going to sell it.
I'm going to refurb it, I'm going to sell it.
I'm going to move to a different mansion, okay? So Carol joins Ramona want to take it to, I'm gonna sell it. I'm gonna refurb it, I'm gonna sell it. I'm gonna move to different mansion, okay?
So Carol joins Ramona intensely
and she's already eating breakfast, a loss inch.
But Ramona's like, oh my God, you look like a hangover.
And Carol's like, uh,
Well, I'm hungover, maybe that's why.
Ramona's like, that's not a drinking cankova.
It's a smoking cankova.
I know she likes to get into roles
But your role is the marathon now get into that like that makes no sense Ramona
What you just said your role is the marathon. It was this show is icon, okay?
This is we have pop pop icon
Yeah, it was this random moment of motherly advice from Ramona. Like, Carol doesn't drink.
It was from smoking.
I was like, focus on the marathon, okay?
I was like, why are you use, why have all people are you now concerned about?
Carol's pre marathon training regimen.
Yeah, because Ramona works out all the time and she's talking about it all the time.
So now that somebody else's workout, it's like, I started that.
Yeah, Yeah. So Carol, they sit down and Carol's like, um, did
anyway else notice that land was in black faces? Is that, is that okay? When you
that be a come okay? Ramona's like, oh, I thought it was fine. Too sensitive. It's fine.
Don't worry about it. Diana Ross is an icon. I'm like, I'm like, first of all, it's fine, don't worry about it. Diana Ross is an icon.
I'm like, I'm like, first of all,
it's always bad news when Ramona
is defending your choice of blackface.
Like that's when you know it's like,
mm, you know what, I probably should not have done
the blackface thing.
Yeah.
Cause it's like, I've got like,
Ramona's like encouragement on it.
And also only this show could address blackface
while having casual lounge chimes in the background. Like, do do be because she voted for Hillary, Carol.
You know, she's like, oh, so you thought it was politically
incorrect?
Is that what you're saying?
Well, maybe you should write it in an email and then delete it
and pretend you never got it.
The first place, Carol.
Okay.
So then we skip back over to Bethany.
She's like, oh my god, it was so fun.
I hung out with Lou Ant until like two in the morning.
It wasn't saying like, you know, it was crazy.
We have street meat and then she probably
has some street meat of her own.
Right.
Which she probably did have some street meat of her own.
Cause that's so Louanne to be like,
oh, that's me.
I'm so glad we're okay.
I see you homeless man.
Okay, bye Bethany.
Oh, look, it's the, hello guys.
Oh, hello, like, hello, how are you? Get it?
Yeah, what's the matter? What's going on?
Do you have a HALAL guy?
And never found that airline.
Hello, not at all.
Oh, baby, am I right girls?
Hello, is it me looking for?
Heh.
And the reads, thank you, and I now that you got really left on baggage.
Okay, Dorita, not Dorita.
Dorinda, sorry guys, it's the same abbreviation in my notes.
Dorinda's complete and utter alcoholism is now just fun for me, which is so mean.
It's always been fun, but now it's obviously a problem where one minute she's hating you
and screaming at you and trying to stab you with, you know, not now it's obviously a problem. Where one minute she's hating you and screaming at you
and trying to stab you with, you know,
not on a birthday candles or whatever.
And then the next second she's like,
this is so good to see you,
glad we came on this walk.
Listen, Rita.
Dorenda puts the fun in high functioning.
Yes, I don't know about, well, yeah, high functioning.
Yeah, high.
Median, they're just functioning.
Functioning, yeah, she's walking.
So back with Tinsley and the girls Tinsley's like
I really thought that the wind would open up more about Tom. You want Luando open up?
I know I was like no one I care I was like oh my god no one wants to hear more about Tom
like and ever you could tell like no one cares half the majority fuck Tom so that's you know like what what else do they want
What what would they want from Luando? I think they're just happy for the silence for
once I know you think no one needs to hear about Tom anymore okay girls you
believe it boy full one feel bad for Luan and girls like I don't she called me a
jealous bitch for two years I'm really holding on to that carol yeah I don't
care okay I feel bad for her.
Like she showed up and suddenly she's from Puerto Rico and you know what happened to
those people, right?
So, so carol's like, I followed her break up tour on Insta.
She holds friends to hire standards in herself and that's not fair.
And the Ramona's like, I'll tell you what's not fair.
Bethany looked amazing.
A little too thin, but great. She's from Ramona. like, I'll tell you what's not fair. That's a little too amazing. A little too thin, but great
Hannah Rexick, you know the sort of person who hasn't been eating because she has anxiety because she just spent a lot of money on
On a house that's on a highway that no one wants because it's not south of the highway
It's on the highway, but what do I know? I'm just like a maven of the Hamptons, okay?
See literally said I'm like a maven of the Hamptons, okay? See, literally, I'm like a maven of the Hamptons.
That's so maven, that's my show
about real estate in the Hamptons, okay?
I just wanted to talk about the property
and the semantics of things, the semantics of things.
She's playing basically house-wise poker
where Tinsley's like, oh oh Lewand should open up I'm gonna
get on Lewand with this storyline and then Kara's like I'm gonna get on Lewand with this
storyline and Romona's like I'm gonna trump you all with the actual Donald Trump also
Bethany's anorexic okay great time let's see who win I bet I like that like now suddenly
they think that Bethany is too thin or Ramona does.
I mean, she's been basically walking twigs for years now.
So, I also, when they showed the flashback to the fight about that Bethany's new property
on the highway, and by highway, I think that's just a road, like a two lane road, but they
call it a highway. But either way, when they showed that back, Bethany said that she bought a property on that and Ramona was like,
oh, on the highway, or south of it, and Bethany was, Bethany got very defensive right away. So,
you know, as much as Ramona is a shifter, I don't think Bethany helps because she gets very, very
guarded and defensive about Ramona and she kind of does put Ramona in that aggressive space which is what Ramona said.
Ramona is like, well I was just wanting to have a conversation about the house and then
all of a sudden it becomes a debate.
I wasn't trying to be a debate.
And I actually think there's some truth to that that like Ramona probably just wanted
to ask some questions and now she finds herself defending her stance that she's been
forced into, you know.
Yeah, she just wanted to know about semantics of things.
Hey.
So, about things like, say you want to leave it.
So, Romana comes up and she's like, you're gonna live on the highway.
What do you, what do you, a circus?
Like, what is the house gonna travel?
Is it on wheels?
What is, what do you, why trash?
What is, what is, what is a trailer that you're living in?
What is it?
And she goes, Romana has a very red disease called Moran, Moran Octopoe.
And she needs an embassyl, osy she'll pack I can't even say right I can't even say
that I wrote it down exactly and I'm like she's in the stomach of the disease. She got it
thing that's funny that was funny right more or not more an off the beat yeah Frederick and I
worked on that one okay it's funny more because she's like a moron you know but she's got
off the beat yeah like cuz it's like she got an off the like she's like orthopedic you know, but she got orthopedic, yeah, like, cause it's like, she got an orthopedic, like, she's like orthopedic, you know, so it's like more an orthopedic,
yeah.
Catcha Ramona, will she put baby in a corner, okay?
She's like, let's have a debate, let's have a debate.
I mean, it's like when Donald Trump
dragged all of those Republicans across the stage,
my bright carol, my bright carol,
I'm not falling for this.
So yeah, Tensy's like, oh, maybe know when you're talking to to Beth and he's just like
In those moments, you know when you see a website, just say, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that
Everyone is like, what is this stupid bitch saying to me right now? I don't understand these words
Kay waiter, I would like three classes at the killer. Please. Thank you
One small Get the lines
Wimes in the middle one only
Just think of it like this way
The middle one's tall like it's in first place
And then the first one is short like it's second place
And then the third one's the shores of all like it got a blonde
It's like a pedestal of tequila
But the third one only has water instead of tequila, okay
Then cut back to Bethany
She's like oh wow as long as long as Ramona's better
than everybody else.
Have I mentioned that I have 19 houses now?
Have I mentioned that?
Okay, just as long as you know, tell Ramona.
Well, I'm staying with her in the hampton, so.
So I go, that's great.
I'm gonna have my birthday in the hampton.
It's, you know, there's not gonna be tassels in the titties.
It's just gonna be like a nice little, you know,
maybe some tune on the table.
Yeah, like we might get cocktails from the shack
in my backyard that has the words B-A-R in it.
You see that?
The letters B-A-R, you see it?
It's really clever.
It's like Marshalls.
The end time is Sonya.
It's like, it's not the Ramona Sonya stick.
Yeah, I'm sick of that.
And like, well, as long as you come up with five new things
to put on T-shirts today, I'll be okay with you, Derinba.
Yeah.
So she does as time goes on, but I was like, Derinba, stop your complaining and come up with some new things.
Okay.
So meanwhile, Carol hasn't marathon anxiety because it's like a few days away, and
she casually mentions that Tinsley is the only person who has asked for a ticket to see her across the fitness line,
because everyone else has the good sense to
just like wait for the highlights on TV. So um so Carol's like well I haven't like I didn't like
organize anything but like if someone wants to throw me a post marathon party like that'll be okay
and I was like whoa that's crazy because I've already started to plan and invite everyone but you
I'm having a make Carol marathon party it's like look at this stupid liberal running in
circles because that's what the rules do Carol
As you slowly make your way around the circle and take the country down the drain with you
I can't see another reason throw party
Okay, what you're doing is phenomenal.
And she's like, why would I have a safe space for you and your liberal friends?
I'm gonna have a party for you.
Okay?
It's gonna be called the Safety Pin Party.
Okay?
Everything, everything, the party favors are gonna be little guns, so you can all be triggered
at the same time.
Whoa.
This is crazy.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to run into race and Jeldin Parsonsmith said no
If you only race you could run for is for president of stupid town, okay?
So to this day, I've never run into race a marathon or anything of the like. I'm sorry
I'm sorry, but let's face it. I don't know how to run. I
Got you a cake. It says happy birthday. Liberalist, liberalism
is a mental disease.
Okay.
I'm surprised you're running in October one to a December when there'll be more snowflakes
around. Okay.
So she's like, this is crazy. Kirk is crawling right now. Right when I'm talking about throwing a party few. Hi Kirk! Hi! Hi Kirk!
My mom is farting. Oh my god.
I'm red bar. I'm like, first of all, I'm not even totally sure that he's straight.
He's like, hey Ramona, oh my god. Listen to way he talks in such a sing-songy voice.
Hey Kirk. Kirk is a wonderful gentleman. Hi, hi.
I met him years ago when he opened up the hottest restaurant and he catered my
daughter's party for 150 people. It was off the roof.
We threw the entire party off the roof. It was crazy. Those were strange times 1994.
So she's pretending this is for Carol. Which Carol knows this is not for her, but it's funny watching remote to talk on the phone anyway.
She's like, I love you Kirk, Kirk, I love you.
Look, she hangs, she's like, switching in her hair and doing that like facial jerk thing.
And she's like, oh my god, I hung up on Kirk, he's so cute.
I loved it.
And Carol's like, did you even hang up?
Kirk is like, I'm here.
She's like, oh my god.
Oh, I love you, Kirk.
Let's go on a date to AOA.
It's the rest of the run, are you almost owned, okay?
He's like, you look fantastic the other night.
It's like, thank you, I mean, boy, I love you.
And girl's like, you skipped right to I love you.
You took home a chef from like a brunch party
of the Hamptons and they're still with him.
So, more on that later.
So, so then we, it's some other day and Durinda and Sonya are
meeting up for a walk and they're just walking along the street and we can just
see that Sonya is very pained. She's a no I'm sorry not Sonya Durinda. Durinda is
annoyed at Sonya but she's trying to be like clean slate etc. So Sonya is saying
how oh you know how you know this because I had the force, and I had the cappard
less, and I had the centra pay, and then I was coaching a Nigerian soccer team, and
then I had to dispose of Pickles' body, and then computer three went out on the fritz
like Pickles, and you fixed that, but she's already dead, and then I had Frenchie, and
I had to buy new napkins, for the other guy, whatever his name is, the old guy who's not
Frenchie, and all these things happened, and I thought, my new napkins for the other guy whatever his name is the old guy who's not Frenchie
All these things happened and I thought my therapist said you know what you got to take some time for you
So I took an and I took an antidepressant one to Costa Rica and I had raw juice and I was like here's the life
And Duranda's like look you know I'm trying to start here at level one because I'm wearing the double cherry sweater from the beginning of
Miss Pac-Man, okay? Here we are at level one the I'm wearing the double cherry sweater from the beginning of miss Pac-Man, okay?
Here we are at level one the ghosts are moving very slowly down the street
The god damn it if I don't need a power pellet and Sony still keep talking. I can't thank him with her
Let me tell you something about this what shit you get drunk. You see two of me you're almost a jackpot, okay?
You see two of me, you're almost a jackpot, okay?
Oh my god, Sonya. And Sonya is also dressed like she's about to go to some business meeting brunch or something. I don't know what you're doing. It's like, we're just supposed to be walking.
I don't get it.
Yes, they're talking about tins. They start talking about tins, and Sonya is like, you know, like,
when I saw that slut face the other night, I realized,
you know, the thing is, I realized the problem that she must have had with me is that I probably
just shadowed her too much. You know, she was just, she was just looking to come out into
O, and I'm just always there, you know, being too supportive and do could of a friend, and
she just wanted to fall in her face a little bit, and now she's doing it. And Durand was like,
I think that you critiqued it too much, and she'sa is like, I think that you predicted too much.
And she's like, no, I didn't critique her at all.
I mean, what's there to critique when you're already such a mess?
Am I right?
I'm just so glad things are going well with her and that fat person she
found. And Dorenda's like, literally broke up actually.
She's like, oh, yes, I heard that.
The pickles ghost told me that the other night.
But you just never know when she's trying to lie to you. One time she told me walk straight down the hallways flat and it
turned out to be the flight of stairs. So I'm not listening to her anymore. She still
won't leave the house. She's right between the bannies and the pickled jalapenos downstairs
in the basement. I mean, I just can't understand, Tinsley. I don't know why she'd spend $10,000
a month. When she could be staying in my haunted attic, I just don't get why she'd spent $10,000 a month when she could be staying in my haunted attic.
I just don't get it.
Brown ice doesn't everyone like it.
I call it cocoa ice.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's still hung up on anyone wanting to move out of her
disgusting house.
It smells like Hurricane Rita or whatever went through there.
Oh, the Rita Rudner.
Yeah, I got poor Rita. I feel like Rita Rudner smells good. or whatever went through there. Um, the redeemer.
Yeah, I got poor redeemer.
I feel like redeemer smells good.
She probably does, but she probably was like,
you know what I'm gonna do, girls?
I'm gonna go to Sony's townhouse and take a shit
in the attic and wait to see how long she takes her
to find it.
And poor Doranda's just like,
oh, get really, you can't get to Sonya.
And she's like, no, we do because, you know,
I never got one gift from Tinsley ever,
but then she started dating the fat Harry guy
and suddenly I'm getting $5,000 gift certificates
and parties, she didn't do that, he did.
You know, and I know that and look, Duryda,
some women just can't take care of themselves.
Like, excuse you.
Excuses.
And then, and the same, isn't this the same scene
where she's like, yeah, I've been talking to JPM about getting rid of the house. That's JP Morgan. Yeah, okay getting rid of the house that she you know
Fucked it fuck yourself into which is fine, but don't be telling people other women can't take care of themselves
One of you had a job. Where's your toaster, ma'am? Where's your toaster?
How about next time you reach your own hand into your own toilet bowl and pull out your own blackberry?
How about that?
And I like that she was mad that she was like,
no, Tinsley, she didn't spend one cent while she's in my house.
She didn't even buy one chocolate bar for Connor,
which I think Connor was the assistant
that like the one time Tinsley was like,
hey Connor, can you like pick up a hat for me?
And so he was like, you don't get to talk to Connor.
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
Do you remember when she made Connor open the front door?
Get her packages?
Who does that to a friend?
So Sonia basically is talking about how she thinks that Scott is clearly paying for Tinsley's
hotel room $10,000 a month and Durinda is not happy.
She is biting her tongue.
You can just seeinda is not happy. She is biting her tongue. You can just see she is
not happy and
Makefully she's drunk enough that she can't feel it. Yeah, and
She I think why did she say this? I think it's about oh
God who is calling me stop it go away. We're talking about
We'll have a New York
So me it's like well, I'm just gonna zip it.
Well, you're not gonna zip it, because you just told the local
tabler, the local bone teller, or a bone carrier, or whatever.
And she's like, I'm just gonna zip it.
And Dorinda goes, be the monkey.
Okay.
Zeno evil, Hino evil, speak no evil.
They're both doing the hands over their eyes. And they're about and their ears.
And so he was like, oh my God, I love curious George.
And then during this, like, you know what?
He's doing this great.
He says I'm just going to leave you another one here.
Willing doubt, don't shout it out.
Just go to God.
Love all these rhymes.
Also, Wayne doubt, throw it out.
Little less than a few past shellfish.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's the first you don't succeed.
Just stop trying as they succeed.
Like that.
Here's to you, here's to me.
May we never disagree.
If we do fuck you, here's to me.
If you sprinkle when you think, please be as really in white to see.
He also feeds James and me because he's really, really meaty.
Okay.
Mirror, mirror, underwater.
Who's the price tag on this one?
I'm sorry, I love home goods.
I can never find a hot price tag on you.
I'm sorry, I never worked.
I don't even work here anymore.
What's going on here?
It's like I come in here.
It's like not even a real store anymore.
They're still blood on the floor.
Rose is a red, violet, so blue.
Two lips can come in different colors.
The end of lions are, they're yellow.
Daisy's a white with a yellow in the middle.
We eat this sometimes green.
They can be brown.
They die.
There's a lot of colors, a lot of flowers.
Weist not want an entire play the fool.
Stupid. They die, there's a lot of colors, a lot of clothes. Weiss not want an entire play the fool. So, it's just a stupid bit. So, it's simply a new way to play.
We're so stupid.
Hello, this is Countess Luand and you're set.
I'm going to kill you all, but not before this ad.
Would you believe it, girls?
We have an ad.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellaside.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle
between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking
about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements
denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how
much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon
music or wonder ya.
Okay, now this is great scene coming up here. Great great scene. She's like hi I'm
bow bow Derek you might remember me from such films is bow Derek in the ocean. What are you doing?
The way that comes into these braids. I love them. I thought they looked awesome. She looks like
she looked like a ball of yarn to me. But I liked it too. I liked it.
It's to me that if that's a ball of yarn,
then sign me up for a knitting glass.
Yes, Luanne and Tinze are having dinner.
Lu is in braids, which I just felt like it was a very strong
look for her.
Because we were a little used to her signature haircut, which
has been stolen by people such as Bethany Frankel.
And perhaps an argument could be made for Lisa Rina.
So she's in braids which looks very good. And Tins is like, oh my god, I was in a Tyson
War with Scott. Oh, it's not fear. She's like, well, you know what kind of war I like? Cupcake wars.
Okay, Quares. No, but I would.
That's a little war I can get behind.
I know we're great together and do the nothing happened.
I'm just trying to be the girl we fell in love with.
It's like they just get drunk and make out with him
in restaurants.
That's literally who we fell in love with.
You didn't even have to do anything.
Stop trying.
So Luanne, Luanne is just like a font of interesting advice.
She's like, well, here's what I think I would do if I were you.
I'd fly to Chicago, surprise him, and then get married,
and be like, would you believe it girls?
I'm getting married to Scott, the Gubon King.
And then to back this up, she's like, let me tell you a story.
I was living in Switzerland, and my husband
was doing the rally in Morocco.
So I went.
He didn't know I was coming dressed like a Moroccan princess, and that's what I did.
I said, Hey, coach, I'm going to prepare you to surprise my husband.
Here I am.
Shala la la la.
Shala la la ding dong, oh, baby.
Oh, I went to the hotel as the princess, and oh, remember, I had the full veil.
Like, where are you talking to?
I was just talking to her own image in the mirror.
She's like, he never got over it.
Never.
He still talks about it to this very day.
The element of surprise is a beautiful thing.
Surprise!
He's like, oh, don't do.
You'll never forget that.
Surprise!
And Tinsley.
And Tinsley.
Tinsley.
Tinsley, by the way. I'll go ahead. Tinsley, always the way, Tinsley, by the way, I'll go ahead.
Tinsley always remember, when dealing with Scott, just remember to tell him, this is not
the plaza hotel.
This is Morocco.
Surprise!
I've transported you.
It's such a beautiful thing.
Where am I?
Surprise, I'm a genie.
So Tinsley is like, it's a new Tinsley this year.
I'm gonna have straight hair and be mean to people.
But she's still wearing a baby doll outfit.
But now it's like the little baby doll collar, right?
It's all the way up to her a waddle.
And then a leopard, a leopard top, but it's like glitter.
I don't know what she's doing, but it was disturbing and wonderful.
And I loved every second.
And so, oh yeah, I was going to gonna say I'm about to tell you a story
But we've already done that so I can tell it again. I was in Switzerland and my husband was in Morocco doing a rally
He was driving cars. He was he was a man about the town and I said I'm going to surprise him
I'm gonna dress up like a princess or I found my favorite fabric wrapped myself in in, said, get on a camel.
I was nearly flaring off of it into a Cindy Bar shop's arms.
I was like, would you believe it?
This camel is that way to treat a Countess?
I don't think so.
Did I tell you about my story?
Did I tell you about that time my husband did a rally in Paris?
I dressed up like a croissant.
I went to the bakery.
I was holding one of those signs that says,
free croissants here, not spitting it around on the corner shot.
I showed it up in its hotel, my girl.
Croissant!
He's never forgotten, he still talks about it.
I, uh, another time I decided, hey, you know what'd be a great thing to do?
How about croissant and blackface?
So I became a panor-shock a lot, and I walked up to a minute, you know,
little hotel in Lichtenstein, and I said up to a minute, you know, little hotel in
lichtenstein and I said excuse me sir, I did him an order a chocolate croissant
and he said no and I said well guess what? It's your wife, sororz!
And Tinsley's like well that was really sweet but Luan was married long
shorter than the shelf life of the chocolate croissants so really not gonna sit
through a chocolate croissant story here.
And the man's like, well, Tinsley, this is just the beginning.
It shouldn't be this hard.
And he's like, the your beginning was like over before
it even got to the middle part.
And she was, well, I admit it, I wear that.
I wear it like a shawl.
A shawl in Morocco.
The point is, I learned.
I learned, all right.
And I don't have chilly shoulders anymore
What about you, Tinsley? What about you? I love in the scene how Luanne alternates from like indignant to melodramatic
She's like believe me. I know I'm not happy about it. I'm I'm not proud about it
But here I am still standing three two one I'm still standing
yada elton john standing in the plaza hotel that might be Morocco to da da da
count as some promise I'm still well now I'm sitting down but you know even you
can start using your imagination I'm sitting down but you get it I'm standing
mentally I'm still standing do you understand tinsley like tinsley hasn't been able to
say barely two words and so she's like look it's still very hot she goes well I admit it I learned
tinsley guys well it's just that people around us feel like you're not opening up enough we're sharing
and it's really hard to care if you don't care about it like you have to
care for us to care. Like these don't make her care anymore. Yeah and no one around you cares about
you not opening up up opening up enough unless you're referring to like the field producers who are
like can you get Luan to talk about this because none of the other women care. Okay when you're
like people around us feel no it's you Tinsley. Yes and Tinsley's like we care we care why don't you
care why don't you care? Why don't you care?
We were in it's like, I do care.
I care.
And she gets so drunk she goes and still someone else's hotel room and
beats up a cop.
You know, it turns out this is all tinsley spots.
Yeah.
So tinsley's like, I mean, it just feels like he brought Tom and
everyone's lives and now you don't want to talk about it.
And the man's like, well, guess what?
Let people get their own lives
and then Luangos I'm too raw to be vulnerable I was like I think that is
is vulnerable no she goes I feel too raw too vulnerable to open up to these women
oh okay that means that I'm too raw, too vulnerable. To make a princess in the soup
who can't find a man as a rally,
to run too vulnerable.
You got to love Lou Ann.
You're crazy.
In praise.
You got to love Lou Ann because she's
talking about a relationship that also ended.
So let me tell you what I did with my husband.
I'm like, he divorced you.
Yeah.
So it turns to he's like, you're a fun,
and she goes, I am super fun.
And she goes, but sometimes you do this
premon proper wall and she goes,
oh, what is it, the Countess Wall?
What are you going to go with there?
Like the Countess Wall?
Going there, the Countess Wall.
What are you going to come to my Countess Wall
and wear that, or be an Israel now
with a Countess railing wall.
Is that no wait a minute?
Since your account is again, it's you.
I always will be the countess.
It's Queen of Tifa, Queen.
It's best.
It is Queen of Tifa, real quick.
I ask you that, Tinsley.
She's like, I actually don't know the answer to that question.
And I've had time to prep because you set it on the reunion, watch what happens.
Five, five times on Instagram.
Well, it's a good line.
All right.
One thing you learn in the industry, you know, the show business industry.
One thing I learned on the Chitlin circuit is that you, uh, you don't always have to make
new lines.
You make old lines new again.
A. Queen looked look at you for-
Let me ask you this. Was Prince really a prince?
I think not. Three, two, what would be your lover?
Purple rain! Purple rain!
My rye girls.
Because tonight we're going to party like it's 1999 when I was in Morocco visiting my husband at the rally
I'm still a quisson just being all the right places
Going back to Elton John keep up tinsley
I just like that the would die for you Little red Corvette driving in a Moroccan rally
So she she still can't believe that she had the invoke Queen Latif again, so she's like
She's not coming from a place of fun. She's coming from a place of mean. And Tim please like, look, I mean, I know that you
and Carol got in a fight.
She's like, what are you talking about?
I didn't get in a fight with Carol.
And then they cut her in there.
It was just a discussion.
And then they cut back to the discussion of the party
when they were fighting about, you know,
Luan was so hurt because Carol never even texted her
when she heard the news.
And she's like,
you've never done anything for me and Adam.
You knew that that was in travel.
And she's like, oh please, you slept with my daughter.
You slept with my niece's boyfriend.
She's girl.
Don't judge me.
You had an affair with my niece's boyfriend.
We should also mention that when asked about Carol's going to Carol's marathon,
so I was like, well I wasn't invited, but you know what, I don't do well at marathons.
I'm more of a Moroccan rally girl, you know what I'm saying?
And she's like, look.
But that's be serious. Her relationship with Adam, that was way more serious than your marriage.
And she was, he was a boy. he was a toy boy. Come on. He was like Pinocchio
I pulled that string so many times and he would never speak
My buddy my buddy
Wherever he goes
Sorry
Wherever he goes care will show up to steal him my body
I'm a Bobby girl
It a Bobby world
wrapped in plastic. It's fantastic. Come on, baby. Let's go party hashtag countess
He was a toy boy come on. Oh, whatever you were married like a second. She was yes, but I was married. She is well look
Carol actually really likes you. It's just so she likes you
Give me a break
Three two one. Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that. Carol writes it well
Who's Carol? So she's the judge of on authenticity now.
Authentic Carol.
Let's talk about positive things.
Move on.
I'm just trying to make you open up.
You're Dick Lindsay.
Okay, it's.
When he missed it,
please.
All right, Sarah.
All right.
All right, Esperanza.
Calm down. Stop tilting at Wiz Mills. Windmills, Espie. Sarah all right all right Esperanza calm down
Stop tilting at whiz meals when meals espy come on I
Feel like though we have to just circle back very slightly
When the man said and who's Carol the judge of
Authentic She's the judge of authentic.
The fact that she sort of brought in a Catherine Dennis
British accent into that moment
while she drunkenly slurred the word authenticity
was so amazing.
I mean, I would say that Yolanda Foster's greatest line
was who's Adrian Maloof in this world.
This might be up there with it.
Who's Carol, the judge of authenticity?
Yeah.
I didn't know the glass of rosé.
Rosé, okay.
The man had a lot of classics in this episode.
Who's Carol?
I mean, this one scene was just like so many instantly iconic Luan moments.
Everything.
And again, it was the way she would go.
Instantly iconic.
I mean, would you believe it, girls?
I'm an icon.
No, it was just like, again,
it's like what I was saying before.
She goes from telling a story of when my ex-husband,
I was in Switzerland, my ex-husband is a Morocco
doing a rally race.
So I dressed up like a Moroccan princess.
They surprise him.
Like, what?
What?
And then it's like, I was married.
Oh my goodness.
Everyone needs to get a life.
It's like just everything that was coming out of her mouth
and she was in braids.
Yeah.
Yeah, the top of the law, she's in braids.
So now, Dorenda is like a walking summer house
because they just won't let her shoot me more.
It's like how many times can you have drunk Dorenda shooting in your restaurant because this is her
second scene on a street. Like Dorenda we can't get insurance to shoot you
inside anywhere so you're just gonna be on the street again. So she's meeting
Carol and she's like I feel like I'm waiting for my lover. Which Carol Dorenda
really has a thing for Carol this season.
Cause last week she was like, yeah, after the mail thank, you can come get in bed
and we'll talk and just be quick.
And then wake up and pretend nothing happened.
Back to you.
And Carol was like, do I get to where my Michael Jackson gloves?
Oh, that's my cue.
Beat it. Just beat it. glass. Oh, that's my cue. Be that just be that Michael Jackson has a son and
king or prince and Paris. His Paris really powers. I don't think so. Come on guys.
Let's not tell you about the time. I tell you about the time my husband was running
a blanket rally and I showed up with a blanket on my head. June back to you. I'm still a blanket after all these years.
Be it, be it.
That's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday.
It's my mom's birthday. It's my mom's birthday. It's my mom's birthday. It's my mom's birthday. It's my mom's birthday. Ross. These are icons. I'm dressing as all three of them next year. So D'Aurinda and Carol
are walking in a park or whatever. Hi, Carol's like, wow, I run up the Hudson River. Oh my
god, please make this end quickly. Yeah, talk with running. I can't with this. Just when people run
marathons, it's like, they just can't do anything but talk about marathons. It's just the way it goes.
It's just like, oh my goodness, put us just run it, just go and run it.
And Durand is like, well, you know,
are you gonna wear a walkman?
Do you really think to keep your company?
And she's like, girl, go.
Come on, Durand, out of the 80s, you're calling.
They watch your walkman reference back.
I'm like, you're wearing Madonna bicycle clothes, right?
Yeah, okay. You're both living in it it she's just trying to make you feel comfortable
did somebody say Madonna I got the moves baby you got the motion you put us together
will be making a commotion in the Hamptons a virgin, which Adam was when Carol stole him out of the crib.
That's for the very first time it's called Pizza Game.
Like a virgin.
A man can tell say a thousand things and know their story well.
Blood a blood of Madonna singing a ballad and I get it cuz I'm basically like Madonna to
Sunni station starting your pops out of the bushes. She's like I hang out with Madonna and JJ
Where's the party?
Well, that didn't now so how dare you yeah, okay
Yeah, it's like well Ia Lili, she's nuts.
You know, like, we're styling over.
I love that Duranda's always making her her choice to start over when she'd be rated
and drunkenly screamed at Sonya for no reason at the party.
Like, two nights before, she always wakes up and totally forgets.
She's like, yeah, I style over.
Because then we see a clip of that party and she's like,
Blackie's Sonya to me, all.
Like I was just be friends.
Come on.
Come on.
And Carol goes,
Congratulations on starting over.
She told someone you're fat.
So, I mean, turns it.
Boomi wants shame on me.
Boomi twice, I'm fatta.
What the hell?
So Carol's like, I'm so sad you're not
gonna be able to see me run.
I'm like, okay, well, she could just
watch a duck walk across the street.
It'll be the same thing.
And Durinda's like, well, I was fooled.
This is ridiculous calling me fat.
I'm like, you just called her fucking crazy again, okay?
Like you just, you just started open trash trash talking her. So what's the problem?
Anyway, I brought you a CD for your disc man have a good run. I
Bought you something for your record man
You've a job. Oh
So Jurassic during this like all right. Well see you later in the hands if you stay with Bethany.
Keep me abreast.
He's like, okay, with your subtle lesbianism.
Get out of here.
Well, and interestingly, Carol's like, yeah, I mean, I think I'm staying with Bethany,
and I wonder if that was setting up for something next week, where basically, but he's like,
no, you never said you had a common mate.
You never said you're going to stay here, so no, I don't have any move you.
I wonder if there's going to be something like that.
Yeah, something's up, but we don't know what it is yet.
That's fine.
So then we go to Sonya's townhouse where she's working something out with Mary Lou, the Housekeeper.
We see a close-up of a picture of ice and happy to report, it's all clear.
No coffee colors there.
Import.
Also, I love that we have Mary Lou, the Housekeeper.
I think this is the first time in a long time we've've seen someone in Sony's house. It's actually kidding paid
And you know there's a fine line between Mary Lou and me Lou
She's like well your name sort of sounds like me Lou so you're hired
Just do me a favor when Bethany comes over please get in her eyes
Whose eyes didn't really get in and the when they took when they would
We lose everyone's eyes
We leave we back in there I don't know gosh my eyes
Are those tears tears of a clown?
Why is the wamping on that tree?
I don't know I can't explain it
It's like that time my my husband was doing a dog show in Pekipsi and I showed up as Melee
My husband was doing a dog show in P woman's body. Yes, bitch, everything.
That was Madonna's line, speaking of which. Oh, and then you kept.
Come on, folks. Gratigar, though. Carol Radzadswell two people who died long time ago
You're all dead to me. Vogue, Vogue, Vogue
And a win tour is coming. She's not really gay man, but Vogue Fired herself look around everywhere you see it, baby
Someone's dressed like Moroccan princess that's just just Louanne. So Sonya's like oh my god gay person. Last time I wore a metallic
Durinda said I'm fat. So I was like oh so that's where it comes from because you
know these ladies are the best at holding grudges. You know all of them. They
will hold grud, a cactus Louanne is still mad that Carol called her out on trying
to get a free dress from Michelle Obama's designer
or whatever.
Like, you know that's the reason that she's still mad.
So, I guess that's how I have for two.
Well, that's how, yeah, me too,
because we've got a little housewives in this.
Yeah, but, I mean, my God, she is taking,
she probably said, to rent a,
how do I look in this and to rent a,
it's like, he looks so flattering. She's like, oh my God, do you like it looks a flattering to come on that you are back for the rest of my life
and of course since so you has now invited over a gaggle of fun and gays like
the like quote unquote like artsy um like what's in the like Truman Capote kind of
gays they're all like oh yeah like that's so dorenda to say that she's just
jealous she's always so good for her backhanded compliment that's so Dorenda to say that. She's just jealous. She's always so good
for her backhanded compliment. I'm like, Dorenda, you know, Dorenda is like the nicest person
on this show. She's so sweet. Even when she's drunk and yelling at you, it's because she's
wounded. She does not give backhanded compliments. We've never seen that over the past four years.
Yeah, this is calling someone fat isn't really a backhanded compliment. It's just calling
them fat. It's like straight up rude, which is how the red operands.
Yeah.
She'll just, if she's going to yell at you, she else at you.
And then she's like, what was I yelling at?
I don't even know. Did I stab my hands?
So Sonya is like, you know, Sonia is in her element because she gets to make all sorts of body,
cab or less jokes.
And she's taking a photo and she's like, oh my God, sticking out my lips.
I don't know if I should stick out my lips anymore.
I want people always say I should stop sticking out my lips. I don't know if I should stick out my lips anymore. I want people always say I should stop
sticking out my lips and then this older
gay name on Gumregas.
Which lips?
I was like, oh, God.
And everyone's like laughs.
It's like, oh my god.
Yeah, this was one of those,
I'm terrified what I'm becoming.
This is like, oh my god.
Do I hate to see it because I'm a self-hating gay?
Do I hate to see it because I'm a gay hating gay?
Or do I just hate these guys?
I don't know!
I just...
I have a pet peeve with someone who just says something provocative
and that's supposed to like take place of like wit or comedy, you know?
I mean, clearly if they want to meet people, make people laugh
they just keep singing songs in the 80s and it counts as the Wendlers.
That's real wit, baby.
If you want to replace Witt, just bring in karaoke, like a real woman.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game.
You have a bad game. You have a bad game. You have a bad game. You have a bad game. You have a bad game. right thing. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to reformation camp. And Sonya's like, so I was like, you know, women are so judgmental.
And guys just like live in the moment.
I'm like, you really haven't been around gay guys. Have you?
No kidding. That's of course we're judgmental.
We're way more judgmental than women. Hello.
We are the worst, okay? Listen to us.
Everything you're hearing right now, this is all judgment, this entire podcast.
Yeah, we just wait until you turn your back
But I did like when Sony said you know sometimes you want to get shit faced and sometimes you just want to get pounded and with these guys it's both
And she's like okay, let's turn up. It's the money move tuck in your penis is
For Sonya
Okay, so Bethany walking down the street talking to herself
I like that shoe. Oh, no, I don't.
It's not that great. I like that shoe.
I like that shoe removed. Hey, that's my shoe. I like that shoe.
Oh, you know, I don't know. This is place cluttered.
You know, I don't like about it. Everything. Okay.
You know, what's that? What's going on? Can you come fix this?
Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl?
Carl? Carl? Carl?
And this is like, this is where I live. Is it?
God, is this where I live? What's my office? Okay, here's the door.
Hello, hello.
Hello, hello.
Hello.
Yeah, she goes up to her new, new, new apartment.
And she's basically like, she calls her,
she calls what's the matter, what's going on.
She's like, hey, hey, come on,
come on, I like the fire escape.
Do you see me in the window?
Do you see me in the window?
Is that crazy?
Is that weird how wind does work?
Like, look, I'm like on the sixth one, you're like down the ground. Is that crazy? This wow?
This wow, why does it have to sell? Yeah. They're like, wow, she can see us while we work.
This this job gets better by the day.
So Bethany is like, you know what?
Disapartment right here. This is like this renovation is like next level. It's gonna be sick. It's gonna be so sick.
It's like next level. You know what? I think I might even stay here for a while. I'm like, you know, Bethany, like that's fine and everything
But it's been like four seasons of you finding a new apartment saying, you know what?
This is really home now. This is home. You know what? I'm homeless now. I'm homeless. I'm in between renovation now
This is home. This is home. I don't want to hear it anymore. Just move. Just move. Like don't make a whole story out of it
Business has shifted. Okay. We're moving into a new corporate space in so ho but I need deep in Puerto Rico
Funny visible. Yeah, so Bethany walks into her new office and she's like okay
My first inclination is it looks clattery, okay? Okay, no one need we don't need to roller skate like what do we need to roller skates?
Is this roller rink? We were going around circles like this is like we want to go forward. Okay. I want to go
Yeah, I'm bowling pan. I'm bowling pan. Oh, thank you. We don't need this picture of me and Obama, okay?
How about you? Do I say that it's bowling pin? Why don't we strike it? Get it? Strike it? Okay. You guys have a spare spare room to put this in get it, okay?
All right. I love that
I love that
I love that
Obama in his office being like
Well, do we need this picture of me and the one?
Nope. Nope. I don't think so and also uh give her to that uh roller skate
okay i don't i don't i don't get it i don't get this off it's like with the corners like you
need the corner in your there's no corners it's just like an oval it's just big circle it's
going around around okay you know what you know what you call this?
help not i hate it wait you want to you want to work on a nag you're working in a nag basically
and you just yoke okay she's just walking around barking orders and then her her new president. She's like I hired a president. I hired one
Okay, I couldn't get the president. I wanted in the country, so I just hired my aunt. Okay. Yeah, it passed a slot
No more crosswalks. Okay, just just tell Congress. Okay. It's an executive order
And he's like, are you writing this down? What's the matter and what's the matter? It's like I got it
She's like these people hate
Bethany's got so much hilarious Bethany is gonna end up getting stoned to death by her own office workers
what's the matter and what's that happened? Well because what's the matter probably I'd just
spend three weeks sourcing the little poof thing on the floor getting it from you know the hinterlands
of Leon or something and it finally gets shipped or rives because I got a I got a proof
I got a proof I'm not gonna walk in here without a poof, okay?
Like you need to have a poof in there and I need to fight tomorrow should finally get the poof in from Leon
hinterlands it's there and you're like you know, I don't like it who's gonna sit on that?
Why would I want to sit on that? Give me a chair like what this I want a poof I don't I don't want like a I don't want like a ball
You can play soccer with this thing like I got a president now now now. Now what I'm going to do is I'm going to build an army,
red water. Like, Beth, me with her own mercenary army is a terrifying thought. Okay.
So like, she's like Eric Prince with black water, just her own army, just running around
spraying people with terrible blues.
Well, I don't know if that army would just be viciously effective or it would just be
all the social. Like, what's going on? Like, what's what's what's the much going to
just like, what do we got much? Like, why is it that like, I have to like, like, my likes have to be in tune with in type of the air likes social media like what's going on? Like what's what's what's the much going to like what do we got much like why is it that like I have to like like my
likes have to be in tune in type of your likes like what's going on?
I don't know. He sells us. Oh sorry. No, go on. No, sorry. I heard a pause.
She's like you show me a woman who's rich then and gorgeous, successful, has pictures with Obama
and their office if they don't even need and getting sleep and I'll show you a unicorn. Okay.
Like literally I have what's the matter what I'm going to do right now.
I love Bethany that she's just keeping her humility. You know, that's what's important. Yeah. So Dharinda lunch is just a melody.
Speak of humility, honestly, and I'm not being sarcastic.
This is what I love about Dharinda.
Hi lunch.
She's like, hey everybody you can be Dharina. She just sits down with the book and things are falling off of her and she's just in I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it,, I mean, you know, it's like my mom sometimes show at random times You'll be talking about something and she pulls out this like little notebook and she's like I got to write this down
And it just goes into notebook and it's like sort of never really seen from again
But like that's what Durinda's like, oh my god
I gotta put my diary to see this book
You gotta get a cashmine later and it's like three years later and a convenience store where she got them is like not even
Inningsons anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember I put these in the books, I wouldn't forget them, and then I forget the book.
And then she's like putting salt in her hand and throwing it over her shoulder.
Yeah.
And uh, Tensley walks in like, did I just see you throwing stuff over your shoulder?
I do that.
He's out, gently.
And then she starts showing her, her, her, her lotto thing. She's like, I love a good scratch out. I love a good scratch out I love a good scratch out
Tens is like can we have wine because I really want mine. This is you really have wine. Oh my god
It's really beautiful here. I don't care. That's why I don't want to be the queen of that decision
But you said it let's have some wine with one scratch out. She's like go God we're drinking in the morning, but you said it, let's have some wine, we'll watch scratchy out. She's like, go, God, we're drinking in the morning, but it's my answer against what I tell myself.
Oh my goodness. So, Ferenda's like, you guess what? Sony called me five. You know, they say,
don't make a mistake twice. Let's do it three or four times here. Get it really wrong.
We'll lift it on a dish towel, you think? Or is that mostly just the tote kind of same?
Because everything she says now is designed to go on some piece of works, you know.
So funny. She's like, well, you know, we were gonna move move on but you know what now it's the weekend to be prepared and I'm telling you
Be prepared. She's like, why you should talk about me?
Probably
He said you mean thanks for everything. He didn't even buy leg gift tag
You would dress like a baby tall cookie. Hey, hey, I just want to interrupt and say that right now
You've been a cheater brand be prepared. That's okay be strong be prepared okay that's mine just that's it
Is that a bee prepared or is it just be prepared?
You know I you know I you know if you're a brand you're stupid you don't you don't know me doing the life
I want you to crawl into a hole and never come out again okay, and I want you to like cover yourself up with like dirt
And just like hang out there and hang out with like snails and ants and dirt until you die okay
and the answer in the dirt until you die, Rolex. I was like you see shady ass Durinda
Yeah, you buy everything yourself love your $50,000 watch. Yeah, oh, thank you
She's a boy, okay, and I'm gonna tell her listen here. So yeah stop with this fragile in behavior
She can't even land, but then she's got a dagger waiting
Come on the peppermint bridge and let's you stab she with a tritzi pat
And it's a gum drop and then she's like here's a gum drop is she knocks you into the swamp and you're like
This is a swamp. I thought it was gonna be charcutt fudge bits. It's swamp. I just wanted to leave here
But I'm stuck on a jobst in two
Thank you, but I'm stuck on a job in June. How?
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, now another class.
This is like a classic one after the other, right here.
Yes.
This is a classic household.
I just lunched at with the Wandon Sonia.
And Sonia is wearing like a Carmen San Diego get up.
She is basically like ready to steal some jewelry
and then leave go off to like, I don't know, Guam.
She's like, it rhymes with Guam. Guam? I made that too easy, didn't I?
So, Sonia's wearing like, yeah, maroon things from top to bottom, hat, fur, thingy,
long coat gloves. She has just she she has truly just
stolen some jewelry like there's been some diamonds in her bag. Yeah, she's she's
just had a heist. So she's like, you know, Luan oranges in the past now. Oh, I
love that oranges in the past. Now you're on to cherry. Well, I love her. I love
Sonia. Does she make me that's absolutely? But what a friend's for?
And Sonia's like once the captives always the captives and she goes
Don't say that people get offended. Oh, yeah, she goes don't say that other people get offended when I say captives now
Her name rhymes just
Pinsley
I mean I can call myself question mark if I want to hey everyone is everyone welcome ladies gentlemen we have arrived question mark speaking
Hey take a risk on asterisk
Am I right people and the way they're taking us to hashtag question marks and friends
The waiter standing there trying to take their drink and they won't even look at him
So he just walks off he just taking his head, which is hilarious. He's just like oh my god question mark will not shut up.
She's like they don't like you saying the countess
and she's like ah do they have songs on the dance charts?
Do they do dance?
Does Tinsely and Carol have three dance songs
and iTunes under Countess Lewand?
Do they have a Pandora station under Countess Lewand?
I have a Pandora station.
Would you believe it girls?
I have a Pandora station.
By the way, you need to find my music.
You could find my music on Napster.
We need to think about getting the Leuands song
that you did on there.
We need to find the Wands songs.
By the way, both of the Leuands songs that we created,
one was, do the DAC Dacacino and the
other one is Too Loo for you.
Those are both on Pandora also, they just don't have stations.
Maybe they do.
Check it out.
We need to figure out how to do hers.
Yeah, and by into it, okay?
Those are bad don't say we that's all you I did girl code years ago
You can look for that under girl code, but it shows up as the Wands girl code
Which probably wasn't the best move on my part back then, but what can I say? I'm a question mark girl code was a little before
It's time. It never quite found its footing the way
For its time, it never quite found its footing the way she say love you are or money can't buy you class.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Girl code.
So she is cracking me up with this.
They have a Pandora station.
I have a Pandora station.
And so you say, well, this is when she's like, I talked to JP.
I'm about the house. And I decided that I was just keeping it as an investment when she's like i talk to jpm about the house and i decided
that i was just keeping it as an investment
like girl you were keeping it because they had to cut off and there was no way
you have anywhere else to go
but i really like your wording of it and i wish you the best
good luck with your new heart good luck
you should you know what's on the sonia you should think of it as your ha hashtag
hashtag
so nea's renting.
That's what Louanne goes.
When she talks about her music, she goes,
let's think of it as my hashtag.
Hashtag Countess, that's it.
This is that scene where they're like, I love you.
I love you.
You're a real friend.
You're a real friend.
Yeah, so they start talking about Tinsley and Lumaans like, you know,
Tinsley wasn't nice this time. I got a hint of Carol who just climbed in like a
little parasite on a larger paid for by Scott host.
Yeah, pretty much. They're talking about the Hamuntons and who's gonna stay with you and
so nice like.
Louang is well you can stay with me and so nice like oh I didn't want to buy myself
like some people to like is that it tensley comment because tensley did not invite
herself and she goes yes that's us Louang where this is that's the Mrs. is like okay
I see that you're trying to do the Daringa thing because she is selling some serious merch.
Yeah, Lauren Carter.
Lauren's like, I mean, I'll invite you, but as anyone knows, the best way to appear at the Hamptons is just to surprise me.
Everyone loves the element of surprise.
Surprise!
Would you like that?
You'll never forget it.
Sonya will never forget it.
Remember the time I showed up at Sonya's luncheon? I was on the charts of Pandora. So, never forget it Remember the time I showed up at Sonya's lunch and I was on the charts of Pandora. I'll never forget it
Oh reminds you the time I showed up at Princess House, and I was like hello fellow member of the royalty I would die for you
Black Ray, let's go crazy
You Let's go crazy
We're playing
Do it divided we have gathered here today to celebrate this thing called gongers and friends
I would die for Lou I'd die for Lou too to Lou for you
to Lou for you
So my favorite part about going over in our recap, so when we've just had like so much going on in one recap,
is when we end with the Carol segment.
Cause I was like, are we really going to have to watch Carol run?
And it was for sure the rest of the episode is just watching Carol run.
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't need this.
Okay.
And I went on my last night after the show and there's whole threads of people like,
I cried when Carol ran, I feel so.
But you know what, I'm glad you guys found it inspiring.
I was like, this is boring, I don't wanna watch Carol run.
I actually did find it to be nice, oddly enough.
First of all, you know, we saw her go find her husband,
Statsman 1985, so there was that.
We got to see Adam, who Adam, i believe is slowly uh... he is transitioning into
carly siaman so i applaud him on his journey i think he's transitioning into
carol
like this is mouth
four times bigger there was one point where it's like that like he's looking at
a phone or something and i was like oh my god his mouth is as giant is carol
maybe that is do you think it's not as
i've got a great carol king cuz it could go either way Carol reds Carol Channing
Same they mouth all the carols
All the carols we're in to add in throw your hands up at me open your mouth up rear what?
What I was I was very happy to see Heather Thompson
I am a big Heather Thompson fan and I think that
She is probably the most overlooked housewife that we've had because she she she was good and I was like happy to have a moment to see her again
I was also happy to see the return of Karen Duffy who
In actress from the 90s who's also Carol's friend.
I was like, hey, that's cool.
Um, but yeah, what I saw the return of candy crash because that's what I did during this
season.
Yeah, Carol basically was running and she's like, I'm more scared than when I walked to ABC
news.
This is hard.
I'm running and my left knee is throbbing.
I don't know why my left knee is throbbing.
I'm like, because you have a pron throbbing. I'm like because you
have a pronated left foot. I'm watching it right now. Welcome to the club. When I was a journal
is I went to Afghanistan and this is the scariest place I've ever been. I'm like really Carol,
scarier than Afghanistan. All right then. You know we're still at war there Carol right geez and then she's like just like in Afghanistan
There's no support. This is all on me
And then we went to commercial and we came back and they're still running Carol I was a go
I know so six hours later. She literally six hours later. She crosses the finish line and tinsies there
And so our Eric and Jeremy who are their like
their friends and then Adam is there and Carol's parents and everyone's like
crying and hugging and I thought it was a nice moment you know it wasn't like
the most captivating TV I was like this is nice now I'm ready for like the big
final scene of the episode where Dorenda yells at someone and it was just like
the end I was like okay I know please Please let us be the end of it though because Carol's opening
line for the season is life is a marathon so I'm gonna keep running it or whatever the hell
the hell the line is and I was like oh no. Marathon of life. I'm in a marathon. But it's like the
marathon of life. None of your friends support you except for a send me who wants to go support somebody you just stand there all day in the
rain waiting for somebody to finish also you have to go to stat myland and
i'm telling you this right now Carol would not go to stat myland for anybody
i just uh... i think it's funny that she burned through her season arc into
episodes
well let's hope because if that's her opening mind, it's not supposed to last the whole
season.
That's what I'm saying.
It's sort of weird.
But anyway, I think the reason why they ended it with the marathon, because then they
had a very brief tribute to a cameraman, who I remember reading the article about him.
He was on a motorcycle and died.
So I think that they, I think it would feel weird to go from a hilarious drunken, dorenda
sonial, Luan fight, to then be be like and now rest in peace, you know, it wouldn't be ridiculous because his name was happy
No, his name was Danny. Oh, I thought it said Danny happy something
He said his name happy. Oh, maybe it was I don't know like a print not parentheses, but quotation marks
I think or maybe that's just how my sick memory made this all okay.
Either way, it was very, well that part was not funny,
but the rest of the episode was hilarious.
It was never that part with the cameraman died,
that was hilarious.
Okay, anyway, so we are gonna be back tomorrow
to talk some Southern chum and guys,
be sure to buy your tickets to our Irvine show
It's gonna be our last southern California show for quite some time and then we have a whole bunch of shows coming up in like Phoenix
And in San Francisco you gotta get those tickets guys gotta get them
Because otherwise I will cry so until then we'll talk to you tomorrow guys.
Bye everybody!
Bye!
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