Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Raucous Caucus
Episode Date: June 19, 2018Somebody call security because the ladies of Real Housewives of Potomoac are getting messy. First, Karen ejects Gizelle and Robyn from her gala. Then Karen and Monique try to ignore Gizelle a...t the Congressional Black Caucus event. But the real headturner of this episode is the SHOCKING thing Chris calls Candiace. We can't even repeat it here. Come listen to the recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everyone!
Welcome to Watch Our Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to watch
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me
As usual is my trusty lovely partner and crime Ronnie Karam. How's it going?
Well, how are you being? Oh, hi Ronnie also is the co-host of the Rose Pricks Bachelor roast podcast go check that out and
We are here today to talk some real housewives of Potomac. But first, we have like cool shit to talk about, which is thanks to all of you guys,
and a little boost from Patricia Alchull from Southern Charm. We for the first time ever
hit number one on iTunes over the weekend in TV and film, and that is so cool. I can't believe we hit number one. I know that was so exciting. I know. So thank
you everyone who has been with us and has helped us power to that position and all the new
bees. Welcome to the show. Also another super exciting thing is that today a giant profile
of us came out in the Arizona Republic.
Right, perfect timing right ahead of our show on Thursday.
So that was super cool.
I think that was our biggest article about us
in America, right?
Cause we had a profile in a New Zealand publication.
But this is the first time by like a legit American newspaper
that we've had a profile and that's like, it's cool.
Yeah, it was super exciting.
Thank you, Garrett, over there in Arizona.
Yeah, which is a great segue because we are doing a show
in Phoenix this Thursday.
We are coming down to the wire.
It's gonna be so exciting and also so very very hot.
So we to get tickets for that go to watchcraftens.com and then two days later
we're heading up to San Francisco right in the thick of gay pride weekend to do our
our Southern Charm recap and we may have a special surprise that weekend that for that show as well. So
Everything is at watchUpCrapins.com. You gotta come to the shows. They're awesome. They're great.
Everything. Yeah. Right. I think, no, they're gonna be, it's gonna be super, super fun. So,
uh, go do that. And, uh, now we can just move on with our show here. Watch what happens.
Let's do a, you little Ben Juni-Jun. Let's do it. Let's talk some a Potomac, shall we? Yes, please. This show. Oh my God. So funny.
So we are doing something different this week because since we're waiting for real housewives
of Orange County to return and it looks like Shaws is coming back soon. We've got a little
spot on our schedule open. So last week we covered $1 million listing New York and I personally
will throw myself under a bus before I ever covered that again. So this week instead of that we're going to do a
little sampler poo poo platter and we watched your husband is cheating on us after Potomac
last night to cover for tomorrow's episode. Oh yeah well not not in set up Potomac.
Did you say in set up Potomac? No no no, no, tomorrow. We watched it after a tonic to cover 50% Oh yeah, that's important.
Yeah, so for tomorrow's episode,
if you want to make sense,
watch your husband is cheating on us.
Yes, oh my God, that show.
So the whole Sunday night had me cracking up.
Like my length hurt when I was dead.
Well, smoking a lot,
but also just laughing my butt off.
Cause she is both of these shows were so good.
Yes, spoiler alert,
your husband is cheating on us is hilarious.
I mean, I thought it was funny last week and last night,
oh my, I was fully defying,
like, me and noise, I, I,
like two times I paused,
laughed, rewound, watched again, and laughed.
I could not believe how funny the show was.
I was shocked how much I laughed at that show.
Yeah.
So we weren't supporting it all along.
I know.
So I just wanted to say, just watch that so you'll know what we're covering tomorrow.
But for Real Housewives of Batilla, Mike, I turned it on late.
This is the first thing I hear.
If I say Jazeal at that event, I will respect her booth.
Only this fucking show.
Oh my god.
So it opens up at the O-Hugger event, which is where we left off last week with the
two be continued because Jacelle and Robin walked in looking to start trouble, which is
what they do every season, because Karen had invited Kindle, aka Sherman's ex, to this
Gallup event.
Yes. So Jacelle comes in just looking around like, where is she? Germans X to this this guy love and yes, so
Giselle comes in just looking around like where is she? Yeah, where is she like rare and to go and
Why did I put stop and football pointing?
Oh, because they could say stopped the
Awesome. They're like
There's just L there's Kindle
So then Chiselle dips into the crap in school.
Yeah.
And she's like, Karen now has no idea why we broke up.
So for her to invite Sherman's horse face of an ex-wife is a new level of messy.
Yeah.
And then they actually like did a had a close up shot of Kindle laughing and like bearing
her gums. I was like, oh that is so mean.
But I'm not going to argue with just...
I know. I wish I could hate Jacelle for the horse-faced jokes because they are cruel and vulgar.
But we've been making them for six years on Vatter Properables.
Yeah, exactly. So Jacelle's like, this is a new level of messyness.
I'm like, I think it's actually like a fairly standard, well-established level of messiness,
especially for the show.
Yeah.
So, to Zell tell us, Karen, let's talk, and Karen's like, after dinner, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
After dinner, can't we eat?
Oh, what are you doing?
Oh, security.
This is what I love. This is what I love, because first Zell is like, can we just talk in a situation What are you doing? What are you doing after dinner? Can't we eat? Oh, what are you doing? Oh security?
This is what I love this is what I love because first Jacelle's like
Can we just talk in a situation room and you know that shot to someone's like it's out like a fan pan room
But then Karen's like can you drink the way it's
It's it to wait in a type of campaign
So then he comes like after dinner and she's like oh well, we can talk now. It's like no, we're done. We're done. We're good. We're good She's and it's just how what are you what are you talking about? I was like I love that she just like
Immediately instinctually started to be like no no. This is it this is over before she even knew what was going on
She just goes into Karen you agree security security mode
Security I want them to go because their heart is not in the right place Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, blazer. So we're gonna have to ask you to leave your heart is not in the right place to be at the
dross okay. Hot security.
Hot security.
Michael by the way, Michael last week had that big open, gay, be like scabby thing on his
nose, which is gross, and it's still gaping this week. But now he has a lot of eyes.
Now he has a little eye that's kind of bloodshot in half closed is actually beating Michael.
What is happening?
Well, it would be about time.
He's falling apart.
So Karen's like, well, the minute I saw Giselle, let's set up alarms.
The matriarch of our subanis here.
This is personal to me.
Now get the hell out of here.
And we see a montage of Giselle getting kicked out of all sorts of places over the past three seasons,
which is amazing.
It's always something like, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave Jizzel.
Jizzel, security, Jizzel, you have to leave.
You have to leave this house right now.
She's just so used to it at this point.
She doesn't get mad.
And she just always has that like wide eyed blinky look.
Like, what?
And Karen's like stroking Raven's face,
I'm like, where above them?
Hence, that's what you have security.
Security, security, get my daughter out of here.
I love that her daughter is always like,
oh, she looks like she's always about
to break down crying at any moment.
So Robin and Juzelle are outside.
So Sheree's and Ashley come outside,
basically get the gossip about what's going on.
And Jusela starts talking about her Karen was being shady about not going to
Robin's and then saying that she said she was going to go and then she said she
wasn't and she went to how she's alive, all that stuff.
Well, there's a couple of things here that's important because Jusela just goes
just I'll never have a leg to spare, dog. I feel like I feel like she's just always so wrong
So here she's like well, she said she's gonna come to this party. Yeah
But she didn't RSVP. Yeah, and that is costing Robin money. Yeah, which is very important because that's really what this fight is
Robin is mad that Monique invited all the people who were gonna donate to her bullshit charity to chair to Monique's bullshit charity
And that's really why they're mad,
which actually makes sense
because last week I was so confused.
I'm like, who cares?
Well, I think it's also, you know, I mean,
if there was like food that was being served
and they were charged to turn a mountain per head,
that probably cost her money.
And on top of that, you know, the fewer women
that are at her event, the less camera time it gets
on the show.
And that's really what she wants, you know?
Yes, well, we're talking about like what a what a
thiefing, you know, tricky little biotch Karen is being.
And just all the standing right in front of a sign that says
investment building, which I guess is where this party
took place, which is cracking me up.
And she's like, she's costing a rubb in the money.
And Robyn was the only one to listen to your tax evasion story
I was like yeah, and then she went like the next day and told everybody what a loser Aaron is yeah
so and Streets is like normally robin is positive and
Fifth-appointing that feel allowed someone to take her down several levels
Yeah, that's robin so now it's so positive. Everybody knows Robin is the most positive.
Exactly.
So now Sherees is explaining yet again to Robin
that Monique invited her to her event
like over a month ago, and you know,
and that's why she didn't go.
And like, I'm mad that I'm being forced to take Sherees
aside on this because that should be end of story right there.
She was invited first, so she already had an obligation
and she's like, you go to Galazza all the time, ma.
And she's like, I'm talking to Robin.
I'm talking to Robin.
And Robin's like, so why was that one station?
And she's like, I made a commitment, okay?
I'm sorry, but I didn't know that you put so much effort
into it.
And then Robin's like, this is me,
no, we're loyalty loyalty lies, okay.
And then they show Seree's boyfriend, Ray,
standing behind her and just scared.
He's like, oh my God, please don't hurt me.
What was his name?
I think his name is BJ.
I don't know what he's saying.
I don't think he's really his boyfriend.
I think it's just like, I think he's a gay.
He's a gay or a date.
So she's like, well, you're not personally a taskwasharady.
I am.
It's like, what charity are you attached to?
Should we raise?
Right.
Offer board charities.
Up that date behind her.
She's like, I'm literally a tattooed charity.
He's like, chain to her wrist.
So then we go back inside the gala which you know in the beginning of the episode
It looked like oh wow Karen got her shit together. She's really having a gala, but now it's just like it looks like it's 50 people in a fluorescent lit room, you know
The investment building so Carson Cressley's in there. He's like
Karen's husband is a black belt. Okay. We're
sick gay belt gates. I'm looking to get him on that dot
com bubble. Okay, baby. I think it's Tim Cook. He's actually
runs Apple and he's gay. So that's the gay. That's literally
the gay bill gates. Also the dot, the dot com bubble was like
20 years ago. Yeah. And Carson just like, he was. Carson
really exfully at eights that really exfoliates that face.
He looks like kind of like an old little baby face.
He's got like a fresh red little baby face like you just came out.
I feel like he looks more or less the same as he did, you know, 15 years ago when career
I first came out.
So Bravo to him.
Ah, get it.
So get it.
Karen gets a long stage to make her speech.
Because tonight we're here to start a movement. As in you're all moving out of your security.
Ray, why are you pooping yourself?
I said to make a movement.
No, Ray. Security. Get Ray's movement out of here.
Security. Your bow is not in the right place.
So let's see.
So Ashley goes back in and the A-holes,
Giselle and Robyn are like,
Oh, you're gonna go back in?
You're going back in.
She's like, can I see me?
And then just goes, we're blowing this popular stan
I read when I did three times I was like what is she talking I totally missed that probably for good reason
I was probably being escorted out of my own apartment by current security
I did know this guy is not for you to watch
I'm pleased to score Ben out of the popular stan
You're your college is not in the right place. Please security get Ben out of the popular stand. Your college is not in the right
place. Please security get Ben out of his apartment. There are certain things I just obsess
over because I was like, okay, this popsicle stand, you know. So it's like, did she just
say that? I love that thing. Speaking of old people. Oh my god, well, this popsicle stand,
what a stand. So I kept her wine to get. I just still couldn't figure it out and I was hoping today
I was like Ben's gonna know what they said no, no, I didn't so
So now they're talking
Monique some Monique and action Michael are at the table talking and
Talking about how they have to write their checks to icon enterprises and Michael's like oh, I'm not writing any chicks icon anything
I call get, get it, I call him.
What is it a little case all I and then come?
I was like, okay, are you saying that she's a con
or are you saying that she's trying to like copy a microphone?
Like what's happened?
Anyway, so we now move over to Candace and Chris
still twilling away at their wedding. So Candice,
they're trying to cut people from the guest list. And, you know, Chris is like, have you called
your dad yet? And she's like, no, he's like, well, you gotta call your dad. I said, I don't want to
call him. Okay, I'll call him. So she faced dad as her dad face time She's on like cheerleading in front of her dad. He's like hi. I am actually a surgeon
So it would be awesome if you weren't just calling me for money right now. I have
It's putting me in a middle
Dad
Candy in the middle. Yeah, it's about that kid who grew up in a totally normal family
But all he really wants to do is have a good wedding
It's about that kid who grew up in a totally normal family, but all he really wants to do is have a good wedding
I guess you don't want me to be happy the rest of my life dad, huh?
So no, that's ridiculous. Okay. Also she says well my mom is giving a hundred my dad said he would give
20 20 and then we're putting in 20 ourselves. So it's like that's your mother's money too. By the way. Yeah, by the way.
And also you add $140,000, which is more than enough
to have like, it's like,
especially for a hot one.
It's not when it's his like first wedding, you know?
And she's like, well, it's his second wedding.
And it was very simple the first time,
but I'm looking at a wedding with fresh eyes.
No, you're still married.
Yeah.
Fresh eyes.
But also her dad says, I'm already giving you 50.
No, no, no.
No, he says, I'm giving you 20.
Because basically the mom called up and was like,
you need to go, you need to give 50.
And he's like, and she's like,
so is there any more money in the bank?
He's like, no.
He's like, this is, you know, in his mind,
he's like, this is ridiculous, you know?
Like, and you know, the mom is pressure him to put in 50K.
Like, he's probably like, you you know what they're all crazy right now
Yes, and then Chris is like well, I told you we can reel it in just there's nothing to reel and caress and he's like trees, okay
Real into trees. We don't need to do it. She's like yes
We do and he's like listen
There's a budget and like part of having a budget is that you have to stay in the budget
She's like okay now you're being a smart ass. I'm like there's nothing budget and like part of having a budget is that you have to stay in the budget. And she's like, okay, now you're being a smart ass.
I'm like, there's nothing smarter than that.
He is explaining basic financial concepts to you.
Yes, I wrote, never fuck with a girl with a pink computer case
because they always have a temper.
Like, I've never known a girl with pink stuff like that.
He's not like crazy when she gets mad.
Also, I wrote down at the beginning of the scene.
I was like, she already has a new computer cover,
she must have a temper.
Because last week it was like this gray marble cover,
and this week it's like pink lattice.
Like those, she probably threw that computer someplace.
Yeah, which means one of two things.
Either wow, she either threw the computer someplace
or she actually spends time like choosing an outfit
for her computer.
Like she has several different cases.
Like, today I'm gonna put the pink one on,
computer-y.
Whoa.
Which is just as scary, you know, as a personality.
So next step, right when I write down,
never piss off a girl with the pink computer,
they always have a temper.
We cut to Giselle with her pink iPad case.
And I was like, see?
I just wrote really big in my own notes.
Like, you're talking to yourself now, Ronnie.
Well, at least it doesn't have ears.
You know, like, I don't understand people who get iPad and iPhone cases that have like ears
on them or little feet.
Like, where do you put those things?
That is entitlement right there.
Because if you're putting your iPhone into your pocket, there's no room for ears and little
feats.
That means that you have a bag.
You know who else hates that speaking of Tim Cook?
I mean, he's probably like, we really make an effort
to keep these fucking foams thin.
And then you people put stuffed animals on that.
Like, I know.
I know, Carson, that should be your thing.
You should go up to him and be like,
you know what's the worst, bunny ears on an iPhone case?
Am I right, Tim Cook?
It's like, I really want to end on that flip phone bubble.
Yeah.
So Jacelle.
So Jacelle gets a intern.
Yeah, intern.
Yeah, he's basically like a Robin.
It's like a spiritual Robin twin, you know.
She's like, hi. Do you have Mora, energy? Yeah. She's like a spiritual Robin twin, you know, she's like
Do you have more energy? Yeah, she's like hi more
Hi, okay, there we go
Sorry, I was just pulling a Ronnie. I was actually hacking up along and I put it on mute
There was like a little nefarious piece of a cliff bar.
I've moved on from Think Thin, by the way,
everyone, this is important to you to be guys to know.
I have decided I no longer am endorsing the cliff
of the Think Thin brand because sometimes those bars
are just unreliably chalky and it's happening too many times.
And so I've moved on to the Clif
builder series. It is the builder's protein chocolate peanut butter cliff bar everyone.
Can I confess something to you while we're confessing? Yes. So right now I'm obsessing over
people's iPhone cases. Guess what I've been doing? Well, I've been talking about that with that
even realizing it. I ordered a new iPhone case and a new little wallet strap from Amazon
And it's like a different color because I was like I want a new color for Phoenix
And it's word of god. That's what I'm working on right now while I was talking about it
I'm such a fucking hypocrite, but it isn't pink. Okay, as long as it's not pink, you know, Frank Garande
but it isn't pink. Okay, as long as it's not pink, you know,
Frank Garande.
Six percent.
Anyway, Jacelle has an intern.
And Jacelle was like,
no, is that what you're talking about before?
Yes, and Jacelle was like,
oh, before the intern gets there,
she's staring at her computer, her iPad.
She's like, God, I'm working.
This takes so much.
That is a weebly site.
I just made one for Roseprick yesterday,
and you're not even making it. It's already up there
I stop acting like you're designing your site. Yeah, just hell just hell
So the intern comes and she's like where is your notebook?
And she's like well, I'm taking notes on the phone
She's like on the phone. She's like well, I might lose my notebook
But I'll never forget my phone. She's like all right
Oh
You young with her, snap her off?
So the big thing is that the congressional black
caucus is putting on this event that highlights
black business owners.
And Jizelle is going to be bringing every hue beauty there.
And I mean, every hue beauty is really actually killing it.
Like I was like, I'm going to Google this
to see what's going on.
Because she said she got into target,
but she really did get into like, it's not just a Target.
It's like in Target.
And there was even an article.
It was like in an article in Refinery29.
And the article didn't even mention Jezelle,
which is actually the true mark of success.
Because if they had been like this,
every, every hue beauty from, you know,
Real House, so I've star Jezelle Bryant,
it kind of sullies it. But this shows that she was able to launch a brand without like, sort
of like, skinny girl. Well, I guess when I was Bethany, but you know, I'm saying it's
not like, yeah, yeah, I know it's the thing is there's so many things that I like
about Giselle and actually respect about Giselle, but she's one of my most hated
housewives of all time. And, you know, who, but I'd probably be friends with her.
Tamer Barney's another one that I just cannot stand the woman.
I think she's satanic, but I'm like, oh, I could drink with her.
Like we'd have fun, you know, it's, it's something that I, I can't quite understand about
myself, but I feel like that with just self.
And you know what other businesses doing really well, which is all around?
What?
Edges. other businesses doing really well with just all around. What? Edge is. Jacelle has glued some kind of lace front.
It's like a judy-dice edge.
It's like halfway down her face.
Did you notice that?
I did not notice it.
I was more distracted by her periwinkle
oversized napkin top.
Well, we've got every little thing
about Jacelle on the same her iPad case.
Her accessories, her top, her edges.
But yeah, business.
Okay, so Ashley is at home with Geronimo, which is, that's why you, that's why you married
an annoying person.
Those people who do the Geronimo and the swimming pool are the most debatious people
at the pool. And you know that Michael does it every single time.
Yes.
It's like she ran a moon.
Duranimer.
So she's at home with the dog.
And so she calls up her uncle Rodney, also known as uncle lump.
And it's really Robin.
No.
No.
This isn't one.
What do people keep calling me that?
So Ashley Basley tells Lump about the conversation that the chair with Michael last episode where he's like
Well, you know, I don't know if I can have a baby with you because you might you have too many things that you got from your mother
And she's a terrible mom to you so I don't want you to be a terrible mom to a child
So he's basically like um, he's full of shit and he just likes having a trophy wife and he doesn't want to have a kid and Ashley's like I don't want to be just a trophy he's like
guess who else does it trophies yeah do you think anybody's goal is just to be like some piece of gold
or like plastic spray painted gold and then they have a close-up of Geronimo's sad eyes.
You know, the dog's like,
I knew this day would come when she'd finally
realized she's a trophy wife.
Well, everybody's been saying this forever,
but I love that she pretend she's here.
First of all, she's like, I love Uncle.
He's so blunt.
I'm like blunt Uncle Lumpy.
But she's like, he just wants a trophy wife. He doesn't want a kid Ashley. He's like,
he doesn't want a kid. I wish he had just been up front instead of dragging me along.
Girl, how many red flags do you need? Okay. How many times does he have to like stroke
another cast member's boyfriend's ass? How many times does he have to show up on Grindr?
And how many times does he have to show up and just be Michael, you know, for you to realize.
There's not gonna be a baby here. And she tries to act all strong. She's like,
well unfortunately if there's no baby, I would have to move on and try to live the rest of my life
without him. Like, wait a stand up for yourself right after you sign a second prenup, you know.
to stand up for yourself right after you signed a second prenup. You know though, yeah, exactly.
See?
Now, Rallet.
Don't want no breaks.
Don't need no breaks.
But we have to get far right now.
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So then we go to a gym where Jizzell and Asher made up at a gym of some sort and Jizz
is like, you know, I know that Ashley is young and perky, but why do we always have to
work out when we hand out?
Can we just sit back and do nothing?
And so then we have a dueling workout scene and the other workout place is Karen,
Candy and Monique.
Yeah.
And Karen's like, Candy and Monique are a brass afresh out because they judge on fat,
fat, and not fiction.
They healthy fun.
Security, get this rotten air out of here.
I want my fresh air, fresh air only.
Security, get rid of Coach G. Thank you.
So, candy's like Southern girls don't sweat.
It is daunting, but I'll do whatever it takes to be
ready for that wedding. except get a job.
Yeah, get a goddamn job.
Or take away those trees.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's like a dueling scene of like coach G, hot coach G, you know, barking like, you
know, like a boot camp sort of situation.
And the other girls are on the trampolines and Robin shows up like, she's like, soaring,
she's just like on a trampoline. And then finally, you know, it's like they break,
you know, the instructor's going to, you know,
the way it goes.
Well, I'm going to go into this all the room here
for no good reason, except for like you guys talk.
We've worked out for five minutes.
I'll be in the other room while I earn this day rate.
Yeah.
So Ashley is asking, how just I'll got quick,
kicked out this quickly.
But I don, but it's
I don't think it's a record because Monique kicked her out in record time. Did she even
make it to the backyard at Monique's house? Oh, no, she wasn't this was faster than Monique's
Oh, you're right. They had the fight in front of the fish tank first. Yeah, because they
were because everyone was outside and just always staying inside, etc. So anyway, so actually
what was funny is before coach G even left Monique started complaining
She's like, you know, people can't get it worked out right now
Not even for charity because she's like talking about whatever and he just like looks at her and goes
All right, and he's like walk, he just like walks out
He's like, I don't know what you bitches are talking about right now. He literally says like while you guys deal with this
I'll I'm leaving like yeah, it's like I'm not gonna be here for that
So she's like how'd you get kicked out so fast? And she just goes, well, she wanted to eat
the first time, and we said no.
I mean, Karen, she tells her version, and Karen's like, well, I had to simply kick them out of
security because, you know, they came in here looking for a fight. Karen, you know,
Giselle walks in and she goes, Karen, I need to charge you right now. R-r-r-r-r. I'm like, that's not what happened.
I'm on board for all of the timeos.
And then Giselle comes in with her liberati jacket.
And I just couldn't let it happen.
We're doing a movement here.
A movement.
She was in board for charity all of the timeos movements.
Checks made out to my company.
It's so disappointing because what brought us together initially was charity, security.
And then back with Gizel, she's like, I don't get what's in her mouth.
Truths, lines, explain why you don't have a charity of 501c3, Karen.
And Robyn's like, yeah, sit up your 501c3 in five seconds. 501c3. 501c3. 501c3, Karen, and rummage like, yeah, sit up your 501c3 in five seconds.
501c3! 501c3! 501c3!
Oh god, these two just figured out what that fucking website is.
Not TurboTax.
Legal, thank you.
Well, because that's the difference, is that they actually have access to DSL or a cable
motor, Marscarns, built in like, dial up. Ray, Ray, can you fax Apple, where his caron's still doing like dial up.
Ray, Ray, can you fax Apple and ask them what's going on
with our dial up?
Ray, could you bring me the Google?
You just bring her a phone book.
Like, thank you, Ray.
Thank you, Ray.
It's so helpful at all times.
Let your fingers do the walking.
This scene was also notable because every time
I cut back and forth between Giselle and
Karen in their interviews it was like the ultimate battle of priv faces like priv yellow was going strong last night
It was someone put it. I don't never mind. I forgot it. I'm so sick of like destroying people's tweets Yeah, I'm like remember when someone tweeted
Diet Coke Karen Karen cigarette.
That makes sense.
That was me actually.
So, so the producer asked Karen,
so how much money were you able to donate after the event?
She was, ha ha ha.
We had a very successful financial fundraiser for Alzheimer's.
I never quoted it, I never will.
I never did.
I was probably getting information.
People wanted to get up.
What?
No, it's not.
Why don't you want to brag about how much money you donated?
You like it from all, even more or less, you had a bunch of people there.
Don't you want to brag your charity supposedly?
It is hilarious that the producers just keep trying to catch Karen.
I mean, it's one of the only housewives that'll show you the producer.
Could you prove that Siri does that when you try and tell her to type things out?
It's like, no, we'll not have not do not.
Siri knows.
My conversation with Siri are personally confidential.
It's client.
Siri privacy.
And so back at the other workout place, Robin's like, you know, I know it seems like
just so has a really tough exterior, but it's just how she copes.
Oh, okay.
Jisela is really a giving person, okay.
And then Robin is sitting in front of blank bookshelves.
I had to point about that.
So Ash, and of course Ash is trying to start the pot with Jisela and Kendall.
I'm being like, wow, it seems so underhanded that Karen would invite Kendall that's just so
underhanded I think there goes Ashley always had to throw the pot yeah it
fun gonna worry about Sherman's ex-wife of six years ago something is wrong with
me I don't care about pay the camera the sugar cubes do the cubes. I don't think you know me, you see? Do the dressage, I don't care.
So, yeah.
But it's hurtful that Karen would do this to hurt me.
I'm like, well, do you care enough?
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And like, have you seen all the stuff you've done
to Karen and anyone else?
I mean, you deserve it.
And Karen's is just lie, lie, lie. Yeah. And we cut back to Karen and Karen's Karen is just lie lie lie
Yeah, we cut back to Karen and she's like well, I've known Kendall for 20 years 20 years
We have the same hairdresser sometimes what we used to back in the day same has a lot more
20 years 20 years I've been in Potomac I mean well
Actually, I think it's been like seven years and then I had 13 years where I was living in a so-called dealership in Minnesota, California
So my Pontiac is great. Got a Bonapetra
We go to the same hair salon. We both like M&Ms. We both have phones with Siri on them. So there's that
I love playing this game called dots reminds me of Aunt Dodge is a matriarch
I've dared you come after that
So money to I like you to give escort these angry birds off my phone. Thank you
This is not a place for angry birds. This is the only place for
Dignified
Angry birds are not coming from their heart to the right place. I don't know what sort of birds when I attack my pigs, but I will not have it
security throwing birds at pigs.
So Monique Monique goes, my mindset is I enjoy candle, but I'm a decent woman.
So I'm not going to put Jacelle in my position.
So Sheree's calls Robin while they're still all gathered at the working place.
And she's like, blah, blah, blah.
And Robin's like, what didn didn't expect to hear from you and she goes I think we should go to dinner
Bob and I'm robbing us but yeah, maybe we should cuz I don't like that you cussed us out
You tried to bully me. I'm like Sharice if you're gonna do the bully card. You got to do it better
It's like she could never even help bully kids. They wouldn't know what she's saying.
It got better. Yeah.
It got better.
It got better.
It got better.
It got better.
So now the show is only pivoting towards making Monique the villain,
which is hilarious,
because it seemed like she was having a good edit.
And now they're like,
well, it seems like Monique is using Jérise to take all her friends
a social climbing. Ah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, is this the angle of her?
I guess, OK, this is the angle.
So on last week's episode, I read the Instagram post
by Sherees, where she's like, it's all in the editing.
I don't care whose friends with who.
I'm not in the two like that.
Remember?
Yeah.
It was like a page on.
And now this episode is like, oh, is it editing again?
Because you literally go to lunch to talk about it.
So now we go to Candice who goes to visit Ashley at Oz and they sat at like a little lounge table
and I'm like, Ashley, you're the owner of this restaurant. Can you not get a better table for yourself?
Come on now. I know it's like a preschool table and they're
sitting at all these painted like bamboo sticks and then behind them are stuffed bear koalas climbing trees.
I just hate I hate like going into a restaurant and then sitting at like a cocktail table where
you know it's like lower than your knees so you have to like hunch over to cut your food and then
it's you got like bring it all the way up,
and the probability of something dripping off of your fork
and standing up close is so high.
I hate that it's so uncomfortable.
Proper table, please, especially for you.
Yeah, that's a lot uncomfortable about this scene.
They're both wearing this weird color of experiment green.
Yes, they were.
And it's a shade different for me. It's just a mess.
The whole scene is a mess. But I was cracking up that they just kept cutting to these stuff
for koalas. Like delicious. Like it's not awkward enough eating koala bear. Now you get
to see where you're eating. We're starting to see some some some cracked in their friendship
because Candace is saying that Ashley isn't the same when she's around to Zellen Robin that she becomes
There's the green-eyed magic or whatever Voodoo is is working on Ashley when she's with them
So we're seeing that this this friendship that started the season strong is now starting to fall apart right and Ashley's like
Well, you know, I understand how hard weddings are because Michael thinks I'm becoming my mom
What and then
Candice is like well, that's bullshit And maybe he just doesn't want kids.
And Ash is like, that is so interesting that you say that.
That's crazy.
My uncle says the same thing.
And so it is every single person who ever even just sees us
and doesn't hear us talk.
It's's obvious.
Next Robin and Sharice
meet at a place called range.
That's you in caps.
Robin range.
So Sharice is vegan now.
And she goes,
you're vegan diet going.
I had a fifth.
Mia me too.
I put Robin's flower pants or cute.
Teresa's flower lace shirt is not cute.
Why, why do I need to write this?
I don't know. There you go.
It's important to observe.
It's all like I'm never nice to Robin.
So I'm like, whoa, I love her haircut.
I think Robin's really beautiful.
She's stunning, but God wouldn't asshole.
I know I used to really like Robin. I don't know why this season she's just like
She has come in
They're like, oh, let's get some fried french toast look but they go. Oh, let's get some pretzel rolls
Um, again, I'd love how Robin orders. Okay, there's another nice thing I said about Robin
So she's like, oh, so how are you doing interiors? He's like, I'm sorry. I was at your event
But I did not
I did not know it was fully your event
Because Robin says that Teresa is pulling away from her now that she's friends with Monique
Yes, Robin's like well, your response was so quick
I mean, it just seemed like you would change your side, which is such an immature thing to say.
Yeah.
And she's like, yeah.
Yeah, well, that's Robin for you.
I mean, they just went into somebody's Alzheimer's event to scream at them.
Like, there you go.
There's Robin in just out of the way.
So she's like, well, how do you feel about Monique calling your friends and inviting them
to her events instead of letting me have them basically?
Yeah, turning her against Monique and Teresa's like well now I'm having some feelings about Monique because
You know, I feel like she's just you know
She does she says this whole thing about they start talking about the fact that their Monique is using all her friends and Robbins like
I feel like she's thirsty to become that socialite
in the streets, it's like, clearly.
And I'm like, does this mean that Monique
is the Alex McCord of Potomac?
How so wait?
I'm not asking.
You're like, huh?
Wait, what?
Alex McCord, her whole thing on Real House,
the Sous of New York, was that she was upwardly mobile.
Like, she just wanted to be, she'm a cord, her whole thing on Real House Us of New York was that she was upwardly mobile. She just wanted to be, she wanted to be like with old money, right?
Remember, do you remember season one when she was like, she and Simon went to like opening
night at the Met, but they didn't just show.
They just hung out at the lobby just to be seen and they'd be like, oh look, we were
in page six.
Like, they were the ones that wanted to be so badly at the top of society
Yeah, well, but Monique's like, you know worth 18,000 of them chords
But Sharice is just so delusional. She's like well, I am all about helping her with the Gothop at home
But then when we got the how the how it came how the, it was all about her. I'm like, wait a minute.
First of all, they just showed a clip of Monique being like,
it is all about your friend's series.
Like giving you credit.
B, that wasn't even her event, it was someone else's,
and C, it was like, the rice removed from being your event.
So give it to yourself, Serees.
Exactly.
So now we go over to the congressional black caucus event and setting
up the ever-hue beauty stand and everything and matching women with their skin tones and Robin
shows up. I couldn't really explain what was going on with Robin's hair. It was like, how do you
describe that haircut? It felt like it was from 20 years ago.
Yeah, it was kind of like an 80s throwback.
It's kind of like that mullet.
It's not a mullet, but it's like.
Yeah, I can't disagree.
It wasn't like, blatantly out of outdated,
but it wasn't, it did not look right.
It was very like Stargate.
It looked very much like Century 21 Realtor.
Speaking of, Jizelle has this huge poster for her,
just like on her back with her big,
or her beautiful hair spread behind her,
her weave or whatever it is.
Oh, there was a conspiracy, well,
I'm not a conspiracy theory.
A housewives of conspiracy theory.
A couple of weeks ago, when people were saying
that Jizelle was just leaning on the wall
in that hair salon and like throwing a big fit,
so we could all see that she has real hair.
I do think the reason why she shot in that salon was to show that she had real hair. I don't think that's why she leaned against the wall and cried because I remember being like,
I feel like the underlying message of the scene is that we're seeing the stitches else here.
Yeah, what I like. You see, there's little things I like about Jizal.
The fact that she's like, I'm gonna cry, yeah.
But it's gonna be in a beauty salon
where I have reala hair, yeah, we gotta do what you gotta do.
So now we go over to, we're crosscutting now,
and so now we crosscut over to Monique's home,
and Karen comes up, she's like, hello, anti-security.
I'm not sure myself in.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
hello, securities escorted me in
because my heart is in the correct place.
And Monique reveals that she has a shark
in her giant fish tank that she named the Grand Dom,
which I think is hilarious.
And she's like, oh, well, you know, we thought was a girl,
but turns out it's the boy security,
get this boy and pause the shark out of my tank.
The real grand dom is here now.
I'm getting in the real sad shock is here now, boys.
So money brother is over there.
Kevin and you can tell that their brother and sister because they have the same
laugh because she has kind of like a Ramona S glass for it's like,
and then he's like, oh, girl. I was like, oh, my God.
It's too little. It's like two window cleaners going at the same time. That sounds lovely.
So they're going to the CBC event also. So they get into the car because they,
Monique wants to make good impression. She wants to start whatever that thing is, she's doing her website,
her gen saying whatever, she wants to start. Now we're getting Karen has her scent coming
out. It's a discovery, it's a discovery. It's a discovery.
Matt gets security, it's a discovery. But they're in the car and I actually felt bad for
Monique because she's like, God, it's weird because Sheree's hasn't been calling me back.
And I was like, you know, first of all sucks when that happens and second of all like oh like the fact that
that like
You are being like that you were made to feel this way by Sharice of all people like like
Yeah, that's not cool and she was like we were like real sisters like we went deep and I can't believe she's treating me like this and Karen's like
Well, she never calls anyone back. She's like she calls me back. She's like, bye. Welcome
And this is when Karen's like well if I see her booth, I'll respect it, but I don't need security to help myself
So I never know what she's talking about
So Ashley shows up at the front,
and Jizal is literally at the front inference.
I don't even know if she was really in this event at all,
or if she just like put a poster board
like right in the front.
Yeah, but she's like unmistakable, unmistakable.
You cannot miss her,
because she's right there in the front.
So Ashley's there, Sherees and BJ show up, you know, and they're all just like talking.
So Karen and Monique show up, and they're just like,
all right, there it is.
Let's just like look the other way and like,
walk around and do a lap.
Let's just skip it.
You know, they're just gonna go a boy.
Yeah, we don't see it.
We don't see it.
We don't see it at all.
It's like a huge poster of Jizal right in there.
Security, please hold up a giant tree that will walk with us.
So we have plausible deniability about why we didn't see every hue of beauty security.
Security, can I get a poster with the heart that's in the right place?
So, Sirius is like, you see guys, when you invite me, I will come.
I'm like, yeah, you're a real field of screams over there.
So then Monique and Karen are just walking around
ignoring them and Karen goes,
let's go to house and wellness first.
I don't know why that made me laugh so hard
when I rebound it like three times.
Health and wellness, health and wellness.
We're having a movement.
We're actually moving our feet towards health and wellness right now.
So I'm gonna eat something like, oh my god, I want you to meet this lady. We got a church together and she does a blog and I'm launching my blog
And I need contributors. She want to work for free. Oh my god. I got my logo and then they cut over to Robin and she's like, I got your slogan
What you were you today?
No, I think it was you were you today
What you were you today?
No, I think it was you were you today.
You're it.
It's like you are you.
Hugh, it's like who, but you're saying you.
So and then just like, oh, okay.
But then what do I say in return? Nah.
I huges hell.
I am huge.
And that's when they spot Karen and Monique lurking across the hall, basically trying to sneak out before they get spotted.
And as she's like, they're standing there talking right in front, they're like 10 feet
from their booth, just standing right in front of a Brittany that don't see it.
Yeah, I know I should be say hi or whatever.
And as she's like, I'm gonna go say hi because this is like Ash's favorite thing to do,
you know, to blow up someone's spot.
Yes.
So then Robin is right on it.
She's like, you're working to say hi?
I'm running second.
Hi, and she's just like flicking on her phone.
Yeah.
She goes, I didn't know you were here.
We just didn't see that booth.
And just self just does that finger on the chin thing where she's like, hmm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm. Mm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
So the first thing you can see is my face in this whole hall.
What are you talking about?
And money goes, well, we have an event tonight.
So we got to get dressed.
Yeah.
And so I was like, you're leaving?
You're running?
I don't run.
I walk, love.
I was like, good come back.
Like around pools. That's how I treat life. Okay,
I walk. I'm just like that. It's a skit. I'm skipping to my Lou. My darling. So she's
walking out and you got it. Look, she knows how to play this game and she knows what's
coming. Robin and Jizelle come to her event, trying to scream at her. They can't. So now
they're going to try and scream. Now Jizelle sends Robin over her event trying to scream at her. They can't. So now they're gonna try and scream. Now, Jacelle sends Robin over there basically to scream at her at this
event and she's running. And so Robin doesn't take it anymore. Now she just goes, oh yeah,
with a bottle of the line, you do all the time. Liger! Liger! Liger! And Karen, you know,
and then it cuts that Karen in her interview where she's, you know, legs crossed and she's
doing that, like, hmm, face-wing.
Oh, you're gonna run a black woman out of black hawkas
calling her liar, unfounded.
You don't know me, you don't know me to be a liar,
but we do need to be a fool.
Security.
Hmm, well, I wanted to tell her I'm upset
because she's a liar and two-faced another friend.
Why is she running?
I'm like, that's exactly why she's running, Robin.
You just answered your own question.
Oh, God. So then Karen, I mean, Candace shows up.
It's like, oh, yeah, you're on this show.
And then they're like, now they all just are talking
to the bad Karen and Monique.
Because now that Karen and Monique are going away,
they're all like, they're basically trying to win
Candace over to their side.
Yeah, just like, well, you know what Karen always says
is no matter what our problems are,
we support each other's businesses,
which I guess she doesn't.
I'm like, you just tried to show up at her thing
and call her like a fake, and a phony, and a liar,
and a burglar, which is all true.
Well, but Jiselle never said that she supports
other people's businesses.
Karen's the one who says, like, despite everything,
we'll support each other's business.
So she is the liar.
But how is she gonna support her business
when she just tried to come into a party in yellow earth?
And then to try then to Zell starts turning Shasha against Monique more and she's like, can you believe Monique came in here and didn't even say hi to you
Not even to you the person whose friends she's stealing from ma
Which of course Reese is like yeah
Which of course Reese is like yeah
So then I thought this is the best show great ending and then it goes 10 hours later and then we see all these shots of this like
Condo where no one's talking I was like oh god
We're really gonna end with a christen can to scene and I was like you gotta be kidding me little time realize that this was like the
Funniest scene of the episode if you ask me.
I could not stop laughing once I actually...
Like it was at first I was like, what? And then, well, we'll just tell it.
So the music is like really serious.
Yeah.
It's like 10 hours later.
The ring, her ring, is on the table.
There had been a fight the night before at the CBC party and Chris said something
Called can does something that in her heart was
Unforgivable she may never ever get over I was like, oh my god
Please tell me he didn't say like the N word or something like I that's that's where my mind went to
I'm sorry. I was like oh god. He thought he had a pass. He said the N word
He didn't like you know, I was like this is this is terrible. he had a pass. He said the N word. He didn't, like, you know, I was like, this is terrible.
No, no, no, and she's like, he called me spoiled.
He called me princess.
And then she goes, she keeps saying, it may seem my newt.
And I know you thought it was my newt, but it is not my newt.
Did you just hear this word? Like what is he obsessed with my newt, but it is not my newt. Did you just hear this word?
Like what is he obsessed with my?
She actually has a pet newt.
And she's like, were you talking about my newt?
She's all friends with Newt Gingrich.
She's like, well, I heard from my newt.
He was reading Bossa and so, um,
Newt Gingrich on BASEP. So he goes, well I will continue to check you.
And she's like, I didn't ask, I didn't hear you ask me to hold your stuff.
Whatever.
Yeah, because basically what it came down to is that he was holding your stuff and then
he needed to call the Uber and he was like, you need to hold like your stuff so I can
call the uber and he was like, you need to hold like your stuff so I can call the uber.
And she said, why?
And then he was like, you're a spoiled princess.
And that's what caused this is that she didn't want to hold.
She didn't want to hold her own stuff while he called uber.
And she was like, I said, why?
As in, why don't we call the uber for this sense?
Because if you wanted to say, why don't we call the uber?
You would say, why don't you call the Uber? You would say why don't you call the Uber instead of why?
Help me with everyone else calls me a devil spoiled and then he goes yeah but she goes wait wait before
we before he says she goes it's now hard for me to trust you. You just have a
to trust you. You're a diva.
So now yeah.
So then he goes, uh, speaking of character questioning, what was your comment to me?
Oh yeah, you texted it to me, so I have it in writing right here.
You are a coward and a clone of your deadbeat father and you can get the fuck out of my life.
Yeah, that's something that spoiled people would never do. A spoiled princess would never
text some, never fight back with that.
That is a vile.
Well, it's like he called her spoiled and she just goes that low. You were a coward, a
shakloon of your deadbeat father.
Yeah, and that is just fucking vile, okay. And then he goes, you know how I feel about
my father? Uh, yeah, I would think. And then she goes, you know how I feel about my father. Uh, yeah, I
would think. And then she goes, yeah, that's why I said it. Sorry for referencing your
sperm donor. He's not cool. He's like, okay, thanks. That's all I ever wanted. Oh, the
fuck. By the way, you know, you know what spoiled rap princesses do? Like if they don't get
their way, they'd lash out in a really nasty way. So I'm just saying. Yeah.
And then she's sitting there pounding and she's got one of those paper towels that's folded up
and she's just touching the bottom of her eyes.
Like you are not even crying.
She's been doing that all fucking season enough with like the paper towel origami.
Okay.
Yeah.
Man, the tables are turning on her.
But that was that was the funniest thing ever when she was like he called me
spoiled
spoiled princess
I can't trust him. I don't know if I could trust him ever again
And then she calls his dad calls her a coward shit clone of his dad. Yeah, come on now
I'm gonna oh god and then they just end they're like hugs. Okay, guys great
Sounds like a great future for you too.
Yep.
And that brings us to the end of Pato.
Make we will be back tomorrow with your husband
if cheating on us.
And then Wednesday with Balodec.
And then we're gonna be in Phoenix Thursday
and San Francisco Friday for real housewives
of New York and Southern Trump respectively.
Yes.
It'd be so good.
We'll see you guys over there.
Yeah, and remember go to watchcraftens.com
to get tickets to those shows.
Yep.
We'll see you over there, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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