Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Scents and Sensibility

Episode Date: May 22, 2018

Karen's fragrance journey looks like it's veering off the road, and Monique's not even the one behind the wheel. We're recapping this and all sorts of umbrella-choking madness on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Potomac. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Rapins! Rapins! Oh, what do you want? Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Hey everyone! Welcome to Watch Our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that

we just love to watch and talk about and make fun of, but secretly still love. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Banta Blender. Joining me today on this wonderful Monday afternoon is the hilarious and lovable Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Prick's Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well hello, B! How are you doing today? I'm doing so fabulous. You know, Megan Markle is all of us and she is now Megan buried. Yeah, Megan married Markle good for her. She she locked that one down good for her I am excited because not only did Megan Markle get married this weekend But we got married to some great news, which is that

We are doing a second show in New York We sort of said that we'd be doing a second show and they're like actually we're doing one show Well our first show in New York sold so well I mean mean it's actually like tearing on selling out that the grammar see theaters lie you've unlocked the second show. So we are doing a second show in New York City October 11 tickets are on sale now. So if the first show has already sold out and you didn't get your tickets and worth this whole second show. okay? So, and then on top of that, we have like a bajillion other shows, a bunch went on sale last week. But our next shows are gonna be Phoenix and San Francisco. Next month, they are gonna be fabulous.

Buy your tickets, go to watchacrapans.com to get tickets for those shows or a show that's in your neighborhood. A lot of people don't seem to realize that we're doing shows all over. We're doing a show in Florida. We're doing shows in Atlanta, Philly, Kansas City, St. Louis, all across America. And now Montreal, because we're going

to the Just for Last Comedy Festival, starring Kevin Hart and Trevor Noah and Tiffany Haddish and us. Our next shows are in Phoenix, where we going to do Real Housewives of New York and then San Francisco on Gay Pride where we are going to do Southern Charm Gay Pride. Right. Have some special appearances by ourselves doing the learn stuff. Special guests.

Us. Yeah, you just never know what's going to happen, but San Fran is always a party. So plan on coming to those. Those are in June and there we did it. We shield all that shit. The last thing to tell you is that our give them Ben Ron shirt is limited. You've got like a week and a half to get those.

Just go to crappens.com, watch at crappens.com for the address to the shop link. Or just go to crappensmerch.com. And thank you to everybody who supported those. I cannot believe like hundreds of people are wearing our faces. I know it feels so good. Let's see, my face is on top and yours on the bottom. So I'm up in the boobies and you're in the you're in the boobies. Oh no sir, I'm in the boobies. Oh, I'm in the belly. I'm in the belly. You're in the belly. I purposely put myself in the boobies. Okay, cool. Because I gave myself gold face, so it's kind of small.

It's smaller than my real face, so your boobies will like bring me back to my realistic facial size. Oh, okay, cool. And you know, if you're pregnant, then I will also be put into my realistic size. Your face will be on, my face will be on your baby. So yeah, go to just for everything Just go to watch a crap and calm just make it happen go there check make sure you get your stuff We are really excited to do it for the shirts and for all our shows

I'm so excited for the just relax festival So all those links every single gosh darn link in our social media and all that stuff And we have a new episode of so much that crap ends that went up today Which is our digital series so go check that out on TV party app it's really just the best almost as good as almost as good as real house house with a tonic which was so quick chill you're welcome everybody that was a quick Quick shell, quick shell. Oh, oh, Shilla, let me love you to the- Okay. Okay, so boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom It's been like five episodes in a row that have ended with to be continued But here we are again picking up where the last one left off previously case you've forgotten

The ladies were at Neymakoland exotic Neymakoland resort in somewhere in Pennsylvaniaville and Basically the cliffhanger is Shaw Shaw saying well Karen you told me the other night that Ray asked for the boy. So that's true. And she's like, yes, yes, it is. Yes. So now she was doing that a lot today. Karen, I'm glad to notice that and added it into your current. But Karen, the Karen did have some like loose

d'interaction going on. Yes. Well, it's, she's got a little bit of what was Jim Carrey's character in living color like fire Marshall Bill or something like that? Remember where he played this like awful Fire Marshall who was like constantly lighting places on fire. Remember that character?

She's got a little bit of that in her. Yeah, so she's a little Fire Marshall Bill, but I'd never noticed it till today and then I was like, did she forget her denture glue and how like everybody on this show forgot something sticky. She forgot her denture glue. Candace forgot her boob tape or if she brought it, she said she brought it but didn't really use it because she put the special effects crew into overdrive trying to put digital shit over her nipple. Yeah. I actually was wondering later on when we get to it when her nip is showing and there's a

little thing on it. I was thinking to myself wouldn't be funny if her nip wasn't out at all but they just put it there and just to make it look like it had fallen out. Cause they totally could have, we wouldn't know. They're just trying to nip shame her. Yeah. Like, okay, we'll make someone into an alcoholic and we'll make someone just a booby-show and hooker face.

You know, edit it away. Editers love doing that shit. They've got nothing else to do, but to sit like and watch this footage for hours and hours. So they just will like, whatever, let's fuck with her. You know, let've got nothing else to do but to sit like and watch this footage for hours and hours So they just will like whatever let's fuck with her, you know, let's put a little A little aerial Pixelation on there to make everyone think that her boob is just sticking out she doesn't realize I would do it. Yeah, that's some aerial-ish aid editors. Okay. We see you every early Grande

So uh, and Sasha's like you said they wanted the fourth which hey my stockin you Sasha It's like geez can we have girl time? It's a slumber party. Am I not allowed to tell you anything? No, you can't tell Sasha nothing so everyone's like really Karen is this recently she's like no, no No, he was a long time ago. It was a long long time ago and oh, sorry I was gonna try to do American pie, but I just realized I didn't know Aliric the next lyric or ten after that Along with a lot of love, right? A lot of love, right? A lot of love, right?

A lot of love, right? Because Miss America wanted to be Miss America Pie, so to Miss American Pie, so I ended up just Staying with him and being like, you know what? I'm just happy as a pie. Bye-bye, Miss Potomac Pie Send my Chevy to Great Falls where the levees run dry. And good ol' bombs, drinking whiskey and rye, waiting for me to move right in next door to them, which is why I'm a great fall. That was the day this press conference died. That was the day that this press conference pied. No more questions on the day the press comes by.

No more questions, no more questions. Only taking questions from Fox News today, Fox. All right, no more questions, no comments, no comments, like Karen. So yeah, she basically said, oh, well, Ray asked me for a divorce, but a long time ago, and she recently Karen are both, she's, I'm sorry, says, well, Ray asks me for a divorce, but a long time ago, and Shreys and Karen are both Shreys, I'm sorry, says, well, Karen didn't make it sound like it was a long time ago. She said it was recent last night when we were talking. Saa-thaa.

Yeah, Shasha, the fact checker over there. So good with her facts. Yeah, but you actually, in this case, you have to believe Karen. I mean, Shasha, because Karen is real slippery with the truth. Well, this is this is tricky about this show because I can not believe Shasha and still not believe Karen or you know, you don't have to believe one or the other. You know what I mean? That should have been reverse, but you know what it. So Shasha's like, oh, three hand of that really well. Damn it. What do I think now? But are you worried about something anything

are you worried and she's like of course I'm worried about his health hence I have things I'm working through yeah she goes Ray and I went through a very difficult time very rough time and we worked our way through it was a hard time it was basically there were these new things called flat screen TVs and we'd have to give up our tube TV and we said no We're going to stick by it. We're loyal to our Mitsubishi television I'm not taking something off my wall with the curly cord if there's a phone with a battery in it I've certainly never approved of that next next question. I mean when people said they were getting rid of their facts machines I said why would you do that?

I mean, I live with facts, not by lies. The same thing I said when they tried to get rid of the mailman. I said, no. And guess who still comes back occasionally? The mailman. Now, excuse me, I have to unfold my thip phone here and dial in some numbers. I have to call my landlinephone here and dial in some numbers. I have to call my landline to see if it's working.

I'll check my answering machine. Okay, so yeah, so she's saying, like, what about Ray? His health is, his rise. I don't know how it's fairing. People don't need cobs anymore. So then it starts to circle back to the dizzy bitch comments she made the night before to rob. And because they're saying, well, it's like you have a lot on your plate and maybe that's what you internalize a lot. And then you you spew out on other people.

And so like for instance, when you called robin a dizzy bitch rob is like, yeah, I'm not stupid. I have a college degree. Do you? And Karen goes, no, I refuse mine. Like it's not, it's not, it's not like a tray of Spanicopeta coming by at a reception. I will refuse that colored degree thank you, or that college degree thank you, tray passer. I would much rather something African is that is the theme of our party. I would not like to have my college degree, but I will take a chicken satay. Yeah, so she...

I will take a college satay. Thank you. Thank you, Tray. Do you have any diplomas in a blanket? No, okay. Well, I'll refuse this version of a diploma. I love this dizzy bitch thing, and Robin, just getting so mad about her education. And just so I was like, well, you know, we don't know much about Karen's past, but we do know that she's worked at Taco Bell.

Yeah. So then Karen elaborates on how like everyone's like you refuse your diploma. You can't just like refuse it. And why would you? She goes, well, my parents offered it to me and I walked away from it because I was an entrepreneur. And I was like, so is she saying that because she was an entrepreneur? She didn't go to college so her parents were like we're gonna give you an honorary degree because you went to like the school of hard knocks or whatever

Like I've not followed at all it made no sense and no one I did go to the school of hard knockers Which is why I have them taken out Chose that over a degree. I like that she pretends she just chose not to go to college like a few months ago and took a year off. Like, you know, that was a really, really long time ago. I'm actually just going to say, I've been an entrepreneur. She's never had a damn business. I know. I've been trying to come up with a fake business that she said. I just like the idea that her parents gave her a college degree. You know that they loaded up their broader bond print shop on their Apple 2GS and spent 10 minutes watching it print out on the dot matrix print.

And it's like it says like two Karen, congratulations on graduating college of life. In that weird sort of like that blocky font that was really big on print shop. It was like sort of like old West saloon, you know. They just got her a cap and a coffee cup that says like best daughter ever. I refused this. I refused this.

Your GPA was a 6.3. I was like, um, and only goes up to four, but that's fine. That's right. I was exceptional. So she's like, now my new entrepreneurial and diva, if you will. It is! Don't, don't, don't, fragrance. Fragrance!

Fragrance, I mean, a discovery phase. Discovery phase, yes. Yeah, you ever heard the Maus discovery, yes, no, it's Karen discovery. Thank you, Jizzel's like discovering fragrance. And Ashley's just cracking up. She's like, That is so shady. She's discovering ways to hide from the IRS.

Yeah, Ashley goes, does discovery mean she's discovering how to start a business with no money? It's the discovery Chanel. I hope that's not trademarked. I was just a thousand make a joke about Discovery Channel Channel and then I realized what you just did there. That is brilliant. Discovery channel. So Karen's like, ladies, ladies! I was about to offer you a chance to discover it, but if you don't want it, it's just Monique's not even paying attention because this shit is so crazy.

And all she can think about is herself. She's like, well, as far as, and yeah, Tina, T-Dex. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. She's like, as far as I'm concerned, these ladies are not my friends, especially when you try to feel, you try to make something so innocent

into something illegal. Like, it is illegal to drink and drive, okay? Yes. And to illegal. Yeah, you had two martinis. Conservatively, you had two martinis and you drove that, yes, that is actually, that is not innocent. That's actually, it's actually like explicitly illegal.

So Karen's like, well, I feel this respect. I want to see more appreciation of the fact that I'm inviting you to my discovery phase of my business, my discovery phase in invitation to it. Now, before we start talking about alcoholism, I'd like to say my name is Karen Yuger, and I'm discovering fragrance. Guilty. Guilty of smelling delicious in the first degree. Guilty. Guilty of smelling delicious in the first degree. Excuse me everyone, I can't stay here for very long. I'm on an international quest to discover my fragrance. Last time I checked, Fragrance and Diego was in Belthas. So I'm gonna go there before it's safe falls on my head. So then Karen everyone's actually is like, that's kind of the

chick who's which never sounds like a good idea on these shows. Yeah. So everyone goes to put on their bathing suit and you know everyone's changing. So that's like a classic housewife thing where it's like bottom. Bum bum bum bum. They're putting on their bathing suits. But yeah, bum bum bum bum bum.AM They're putting on their bathing suits, but don't... Yeah. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Someone else is putting on their bathing suits. Like, thanks guys. Yeah. Thanks for that.

So Karen still is not... And Karen is still not figured out how microphones work. I mean, she's barely, barely progressed to the Universal Remote on her tube TV. So the microphone is just a whole frontier. I mean, she's in the Discovery Phase of Technology. So Karen and Giselle are changing behind closed doors and they're talking about Ray and Karen is

starting saying things like, I mean, I don't know, but the divorce thing, I mean, I mean, was he trying to protect me? I don't know. And so Giselle's like, the way she's talking about it sounds pretty much like it happened like in the past few months, you know, like it happened recently.

Yes, and yeah, Karen, she doesn't know how doors work either. She just keeps going behind. Whenever a door shuts, she'll just say the worst things. The gifts herself in trouble. So she's like, well, you know, you knew me back when something happened, but I didn't tell you, oh, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Fragments, fragrance, spread the word. Karen's coming up with the fragrance. And then she's like, well, it made no sense, but I think he's trying to protect me. And

she's like, I don't understand. What she's saying right now, she says it's not about leaving her, but protecting her from the IRS. So which is it? Yeah, it was a weird moment because Jacelle was whispering something to her. So Jacelle knew that the microphone was there, but Karen just seemed to not care or know. You know, she's on her own little huger world. Yeah. So Ashley, Robin and Shasha, I was like, who's Shane? Fafat.

Shane. Is that my new name? Is that thing? Is that name? Is that thing? Is that thing? So yeah, they're playing around. They're up in Karen's room and they're looking for Karen's wig and they can't find it in any of her luggage. And then they finally find it wrapped in a plastic bag like poop.

It's like in one of those grocery store Ralph's bags or whatever. And so she's like, oh my god, what kind of wig is this, especially fitted one? And it's the headband wig. Yes. Oh, is that because the headband goes up above the wig? Is that what it was supposed to do? Because she was wearing it like a chin strap. Yes, she wore it like a chin strap, but I think it was a headband leg. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Who has a wig with a gym strap? It's like her helmet.

I just want to be on the streets of fragrance boulevard. And I want to be safe. It's like some sort of like new version of a jockey helmet. You know, she's like, well, I want to ride a horse. Advertisement, my wig at the same time. So the ladies gather downstairs and they're swimming. So yeah, and Robin's like, oh, I have an announcement. There's a new friend of the house.

And Candy's like, is that me, the stripper? Well, so I first what happened was Candace goes, when Robin's like, we have a new friend of the house. And Candace, who is wearing sort of like a stripper bathing suit, let's be honest, I mean, that post was almost fully out, Erica Jane's style. But Robin's like, we have a new friend of the house. He can't just say, like, is it me and and Rob goes, no, not a stripper. And I was like, oh, that's shady. But then I heard my rewind that I heard in the background. Someone said, is it a stripper. So I was like, oh, I was

really hoping to to clock Robin for being for being shady. I know. Robin's so excited to rag on Karen that she just let all of that pass and then start shaving Candace for being shady. I know Robin's so excited to rag on Karen that she just let all of that pass and then start shaming Candace for being possibly a stripper. So Robin's like no, it's my new friend, Kern Hugger. Or, but Kern Hugger. I'm like Robin can't you come up with like a better fake name just just replace the consonants be like like Burr Bouger like she's just like Karen Huger I mean if we did the fake name like just do it right not

Kern Huger. Kern Huger? She just lowered the vowel she's like not Karen Huger, Kern Huger. I guess she did the same thing that I'm saying fine fine So Ashley comes in and it just starts doing impersonations of her and I was like hello I love wine oh raising trouble oh fact machine customer plant and then the wig comes off yeah it was actually hilarious and Karen was losing her shit everyone was afraid that Karen was losing her shit. Everyone was afraid that Karen was gonna be mad but Karen was she was howling like a wild animal like a bandage. She's like she was falling down multiple times and she's like this girl is obsessed with me. Poor thing.

times and she's like this girl is obsessed with me. Poor thing. Why is she so obsessed with me? Boy, I want to know. She's in a discovery phase of Karen. And Ashley says, it's past my bedtime. So I'm going to have a bottle of fun by myself. Do not bother me. I totally missed that. She was so shady. Everything she was saying was really, really rude. It was and Karen just went with it loved it Yeah, Karen was losing her shit and Ashley's like that me this trip is a success So Robin's like finally everyone's guard is down and we actually like each other I'm crediting the new shoes that Juan got me on loves me now Ever since he got me those Reebok pumps, I've been pumping the air into our friendships.

So they go finally to the hot tub, and they're all having fun, and they're smoking cigars, and they're like, oh my God, should reach, that should be your deep business. Shoshosh, cigar caps. Well yeah, cause Shoshosh, I was putting on a little shower cap that way her we've wouldn't

start smelling, which was funny because like, of course, Shasha wears a shower cap at the hot tub. And thank you for saying that. What am I writing? I just watched this show literally five minutes before we started recording. And I was like, what's a cigar cap? No, it was, it was the shower cap. She, and then, and while was funny, is later on, when they had a flashback to the hot tub

scene, Shasha goes, shall we cap by Sh Sharis, which was, I don't know if anyone caught that, but it was a quiet reference, of course, to Share. And I was like, oh, I love like when one house I've show references, another house I've show it's so breaking the fourth wall series. Well, she's like being beyond she's being the low rant Beyonce referencing a higher rent, you know, being the low rent. That's right. Should I?

Should I? Should I? The Beyonce of Potomac, right? Or something like that? What did she say? Well, there's a Shasha fear. Shasha fear. That's right.

Well, I have to say, I thought that Sherees was wonderful at Coachella. When she came out on a hoverboard while, while Post Malone was singing, and she's like, say, say, say, kind of, grab the lathe. And she just drove off the stage. I was like, that was a real big, you know, Shasha fierce moment. And instead of that big huge Beyonce fan, she just had one of those little handheld fans

so that her shower cap would ripple. And instead of 100 dancers on like a pyramid, basically like dress like a college band, she just had had like just L with a tambourine next to her Yeah, no, Sasha just lit up this a heart-attent at Coachella. I'm a maid I'm a maid Lemonade around the corner hard cider Chris Back at home.

Yeah, now we have, now it's like, Nima Collins done and we're gonna have, we sort of cross cut between three different scenes. It's Monique with Chris, Ash with Michael, and Candace with Chris. Yeah, so Chris is like, I need to donate them stakes. Oh, oh, oh, the entire house is like reverberating.

Steve Stakes, Doug Stakes. So yeah, he's making stakes. And Monique is so pissed. She's like, well, we're going to take the kids to Neymac call Neymacan, I think she calls it Neymac. No, Neymacline, which maybe that's a way to say it. I don't know. I'm reclined.

And Chris was like, oh, her and all that. She said, well, it would have been better with you than those ladies. And he goes, what are you talking about? That was your best friend. And then he just like eats a whole chicken and one bite. Those ladies are your friends. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's spits out all the bones.

He does that thing, he does that thing that like cartoons do it puts a fish in his mouth and he pulls up the skeleton. So over with Ashley and Mike, she's like, oh my god, I was screaming. And he's like, oh, he did after a trip. She's like, no, screaming for fun. He's like, you could off. Went over with Chris and Candy. They order a delightful dessert. Keyline Poison, which I was actually jealous of.

Keylon, I love a key lamb. Chris just shows up whenever they're eating. He just storms in like the cool Aidan Ann, just burst through the walls. He's like, all day, he just takes it with his hand and sticks it in So she's She's what her like yeah, she's just basically telling him what happened and she's like there's always a concern

Like is it a concern or you just trying to keep up mess? Yeah, she's right. She called it Yeah, it's true concern becomes like the buzzword of Of the day because everyone instead of saying Yeah, she's right. She called it. Yeah, as true concern becomes like the buzzword of the day, because everyone instead of saying, I've said calling people out of them, I was like, well, I have concerns. I have concerns. So Candace is sick of using that word. So now we go back to Monique and she is mad. She's what, she's really pissed at Ashley that Ashley said that Monique had like four Marchini's not just two. And she's mad that Ashley was saying it behind people's behind her back, et cetera, et cetera. And so Monique goes, you know, just because you're a lightweight and that's how you're feeling, don't let me into that category and being irresponsible.

I'm like, so that's kind of it. You're basically saying, I'm not a lightweight. So like, I could handle those martinis, right? There's sort of like that implication. That's like exactly what she's saying. She's saying, I'm not irresponsible. I stopped it too. No, I don't get drunk until I have five.

Yeah, she's like, I'm not a lightweight. Like, I'm okay with two martinis. So I'm like, that's not a denial that you drank. That's just saying, listen, I was fine. I was okay with that booze, which is not really. She's such a dodo bird. Yeah, she says that's remember when she said it on camera She's like, oh, I had a couple of martinis and then I got tired. So weird. We're like, what are you doing? You know you're on TV Right. Yeah, so then she tells Chris. She's like, you know I'm sorry, no Candace is talking to Chris now because there's so many crises

Can't just talking to Chris about the situation and she's like, you know, you know, Ashley said that Monique has four martinis before she went driving, but then Monique said that she had two and that's like, that's like a big difference. I'm like, yeah, they're both, that's like, you're still gonna get a DUI. Whether it's two, whether it's four, it's like, it's gonna fuck you up. Like, it's martinis. Like martinis are pure alcohol and they're they can be big. And Chris speaking of they can be big. Chris is like it sounds like it's

not out of concern. It's out of being messy. And money is like well Ash wrote right with them and it's her it's her full. I thought we were building a friendship and if I'm friends with someone I have their back and Ashley has her own back I'm like Like you drove drunk. Okay. I don't think anyone's gonna have your back for that. I'm sorry You drove drunk and even like even if you weren't even if you have felt like you had peaked at lunch and you were coming down from it You got drowsy from it like that's still driving drunk you may, you may have felt okay, but that's driving drunk. Here's a friend who will always have your back, Uber. Yeah, so then Ashley tells Michael

that Monique basically drank a whole bottle alone in the hot tub and then I'm out the barfing in the bushes and we see footage, it's sort of weird, we just see footage of like first we see Monique in the hot tub and then we see Monique not in the hot tub and just like the bottle sitting there. So we just have to assume she's throwing up. So it's like, it's like Monique.

Like Monique, okay. So you just crashed your car after two martinis and now the girls are saying that you drink too much. So what do you do? You drink a bottle alone and barf in the bushes. That's, you think optics, optics. So when we cut back to Candace at her lunch and she, uh, nothing really happened, but she's basically, like, giving her ice cream spoon a blowjob.

She's one of those girls who's like, uh, uh, uh, uh and then we go back to Monique and she's still angry about Ashing. She's like, I was totally blindsided and caught off guard. I'm like, are you talking about Ashley or the tree? Cause yeah, how do you think the tree feels? And Port, you know, Monique, she, I'm like, Monique, you gotta think about your phrases that she is. First she goes, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I'm like, you literally just turned over your car. And she goes, I'm not trying to go zero to 100. I'm like,

let, let, do you hear these words? Then she goes, let me just try to go zero to 75. I'm like, bitch, that is still about the speed limit. How about you go zero to 45 on that, on that one lane road? Okay. How about that? Yeah, this is a pretty odd goal. I'm just gonna go 75 now, when I'm freaking. Here's something to do. I'm just gonna do five drinks, but zero to 75. So I'll be able to crash more, you know, more casually. And finally, Chris says what she wants,

which is sounds like they got it out for you, momo. And she's like, thank you. That's what I'm saying I heard it She's talking about penguins. Yeah, it's a penguin in his mouth. So yeah, people to penguin on a piece of rice That was delicious Hey girl wanna go to commercial. Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial?

Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the

Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. So Jizelle is in some weird gigantic church hat, and she's reading from a Bible, but I don't think that she's, I mean, I've read the Bible a couple of times because you know, that's how I was raised. She's just making things up. She's like, we are

all on the same path. We are on a journey. And a journey got to have love and it wears the love, wears the love on the journey? And like you were just repeating song lyrics now, man. Please put the Bible down. Yeah, I had no idea what she was doing. And then she tells us that her ghost writer for her novel, Basie told her, well, you know, you need to get back into character

and remember what it was like to be the wife of the pastor of Omega church or whatever. So this was her attempt to recapture those days, which really does not vote well for this book. I have to say. No. I mean a lot of things don't vote well for the book. And the lady is like, it's like method acting, which was so funny to me.

She's like, here I stand. I see fager parks behind the corner. Having sex with my husband. So then we see it's a then Robin calls up on FaceTime. So just she loves that high angle FaceTime. I mean, she is basically doing stout chivalry with that phone at this point. She is just like, it is up.

It is up way over her head. Yeah. Do you see how she does that? it cracks me up every single time she does that and she tells us word on the street It's the best book you'll never read I'm like you're holding the Bible in here It's like literally the greatest story ever told okay. Don't compete with Jesus. Yeah So yeah, she's face timing Robin with some other crazy for hat. This is like some kangaroo skinned hat or something from my kangaroo. Giraffe. Giraffe. Yeah.

And the issue is she goes, Hey, I've got a bubble in my hand. A bubble. A bubble. So Jacelle has not heard from Sherman in 29 hours, which is crazy because they have it. They talk all the time. Yeah. So, she is freaked out. And she is worried because there was an article about the two of them in People Magazine,

and she sent the link to Sherman, and then he hasn't spoken since, and she's worried that he's freaked out by the publicity because guess what he's a very private person. Yada yada yada. I'm like don't give this man any excuses. He knew who he started dating. You were on TV. He was on the reunion last year, okay, in the background. So don't give him excuses that well he's private and this freaks him out.

No, we've seen this on Vendor from rules. I do not excuse this behavior from these guys. We start dating our reality stars and then try to shame them for being on reality TV. Absolutely not absolutely not quad Lungford She goes I'm not a genius and I believe in the Lord But the Lord hasn't told me what this is. I'm like well the Lord's a little bissy right there It's a lot going on in the world, okay? He'll get right back to you on what your boyfriend thinks about your people magazines.

Shoes. I don't know. I just for some reason, like, I just, I just get taken back to that place of, like, when, when I was dating, when you, there was someone you really liked and you text them and they just like, would not respond for like a day and a half or two days and it's like such a mind fuck when people do that like I hate that like some people are fine with it but that's not the way I roll and it makes you crazy then you become the crazy one when it's them who's being unreliable and then you're like that's not fair of like they're the ones who are being jerked but I'm the one who looks crazy as a result of it I hate that so even with jazel I'm like I feel bad that she has to feel that way so that's why I I get mad at Sherman. Like, don't do that. It's such a mean thing to do to someone. Agreed. Um, you're like, yes, moving on.

No, no, just agree. I don't need to add anything to that because I don't date some like, you didn't call me. Actually, when I date and people call me the next day I'm like oh I'm weird I've been through enough what more do you want from me well miles for two hours so now I'm moving on we go to Karen and she goes to what looks like it's a law firm or something like that to see Matt Biers and which who we've met the season he is her her assistant, slash lawyer, slash publicist. And so they sit down at this conference table and what was so funny, the editors are so shady, they say Matt, and the chirons is Matt,

and below it says, Karen's in quotes assistant. I was like, that is so shady because clearly this guy is a professional, you know, and the fact that they call him an assistant, is so rude in the best part. Is there a GPS? I'm guessing it's true. Yeah, I think it's like her... He's like, what do you call him the Swiss Army gay? Was he the Swiss Army gay? Was that someone else? Oh, I think he was a Swiss Army gay.

Actually, I think the Swiss Army gay was someone else, but we can have multiple Swiss Army gays because he's like He's a little bit of everything for her. Yeah, she's like hello. Would you like to cut open this envelope or unscrew this bottle of wine? Would you cook? Welcome to Discovery Face of my business fragrance by Karen, Karen Fragrance Discovery. I'm here for a discovery. So Karen's's like, thank you for taking time out of your busy day. I love the beauty industry, but most of all, I love empowering women. And he's just nodding like, oh, Jesus, you know, this is every conversation with her. It's like, I'm going to ask Matt to pull the weeds today. But I'm'm gonna say it like this. I love empowering women, which is why I believe in women with front yards that can inspire other women.

No woman should have weeds in a front yard. That's what I firmly believe, Matt. So we'd mind, thank you. Thank you for helping me on this journey, Matt. Yeah. So she says every woman needs a signature fragrance. I was like, I Mean that seems like really specific. Everyone needs a signature fragrance And so she tells this whole story about her grandmother and how she used to put like

cherry blossoms, I think in Jurgen's and that was her sense. She made she made do with what she had That's what I want to do. I want to make do with what I have I mean in this case, I don't really have anything so I I'm making do with nothing, but discovery. I want something that smells like papers. Papers that ask, wait, good, good, even though I don't have to, because I have what does an independent bank account mean? What does that smell like? Here's what I want my fragrance to smell like. Laser discs. Like a big laser disc. I get so excited every time Ray puts in his laser disk of season one Episode one of Mad about you. Oh exciting

Mr. Beers. What does a thigh master smell like? That's the question I have the entire Ellen Bark and collection on laser disk and I get so excited every time Ray pulls that out So she's like here's what we've got so far, Bars. We've got so many venues that have said yes. There was a McDonald's, a Marriott, in and out. Shocking a lot of the big lots. And she's like, well, I want that to be here because he seems to know a lot about him. He knows a lot about marketing and when it's time to birth, the fragrance Matt will have

an understanding from beginning to end, which will probably be within five minutes of each other. There it is, after birth. What in power is women more? I'm Matt told her, Matt told her, I have no idea what to do with us. This sounds crazy to me. I have never done anything like this in my life. And she's like, exactly what I need, Matt.

You know, people say, oh, you have to have someone working with you all the time. That's weak, but I say you're an idiot if you don't. You're against. You're against idiot if you don't. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk No, no, no, no, I'm putting that baby back in. I'm putting that baby in. You're with reverse birth. Reverse birth to that, I'm doing this to her. Obviously about calling it something like fear sore, fiery or bold, you know, something really original like that. Separate deposit slips. By Karen Huger. Oh my goodness.

Living in a van with Karen Huger. Fax machine by Karen Huger. Yachty by Karen Huger. Is that taken? Godwim and powered by the sound of dice shaking in a din. So yeah, so Karen's gonna put together a scent event because she wants to get the opinions of her friends about different scents and what do they think about the journey that I'm on? Which you know is not going to go well because anytime these women put together

a little focus group of each other, it's always a disaster. I mean, let's not forget Oz last season when Ashley tried to bring everyone in to give comments on the menu, et cetera. Oh, girl, for a minute, I thought you meant the show Oz. Yeah. That was a shirt downhill. Downhill by Karen Huger. Downhill.

Prison. I want the sense of prison and Edmelloni. The little eye candy. The little eye candy never heard it. And one little Edmelloni eye candy. Time served by Karen Huger. So Candace and her mom go to this fancy hotel to look for the Willard wedding venue.

Oh, the Willard. The Willard. Well, I'm still talking like Karen. The Willer is where they had high T last season. I met Monique. Yes. Um, and that's where Monique was like, I have five houses and just hated her. Oh my God, you just can't forget the good shit from this show. I know. So they're there at the willer talking to the whatever. And now, you know, you know, that plan. And this thing is like, I can't do anything I want because my mom is always telling me what to do and it's my wedding day and she's always telling me what to do on my wedding day mom it's my wedding day

yeah so the mom's like I love the shank leaves I love the shank to lose that's what I'm saying and she's like well it's just big enough for 300 and I don't want round tables, mom. So don't even start with me. I want rectangular. Yeah. And then people can't really talk to each other at regular tables, you know. And she's like, that's what I want, mom. People are not talking to each other.

Yeah. So the lady from the willard is there. She's like, well, for what you're saying and for this room and everything, you're looking at a budget of $100,000 and Candace is like, well, I also want flowers and I want a flower wall and I want to have two dresses and then I want to have like a dance dance revolution section in the corner in a chocolate fondue fountain, maybe an ice sculpture, I'll sleep at a tiger and then a dance floor that's made of quartz but also diamonds. What about that? And so the lady just goes,, well what you want is probably double the budget

honestly. Like it's easily double the budget. Anyway, bye. And she just like puts on her bag and walks out. So she's like, you guys talk about this. I just almost choked to death on the Diet Coat. I was wondering what we work on. I took a drink and it like hit my throat wrong. There's a God yeah, it sounded like you diet coke for the murder, okay? It sounded like a beast was getting killed in Zelda. It was a peacock that um Chris grabbed by the neck and shoved down his face. That's what I call a nice snack. So the mom's like look, I'll do my thing. It's just like a cross between Karen, Huber and Shasha. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah, and then so that and then we learn about how Candace so Candace's dad left when when she was like a baby and so when the mom

You know they start talking about the dad and obviously the mom still has a lot of bitter feelings to this man And because she's like well he was out chasing women and you know You have to remember that when you get married like life gets real and you think everything's fairy tale But then next thing you know your man has left you and go chasing some women and he's a real asshole that But then next thing you know your man has left you and go chasing some women and he's a real asshole Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I don't have an example of a marriage at works and we both came from broken families and all this stuff She's like mom, let me just be I had the idealistic and pretend it'll work. Yeah, she was okay I mean we're both from broken families and like like how do we avoid crashman burning? I'm like well you can start without plunging yourself into debt over stupid wedding Get your holiday in yeah, she's like I don't want to talk about how much your hurt mother that was 30 years ago And her mom's like yes, that was when he left you as a baby. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, no, she's because she's like,

well, mom, I mean, you know, I never had a really, she said something like I never had a relationship with him because he left when, you know, he left when I was really young. She's like, yes, he did leave when you were just a baby, just a baby, leaving me, leaving me to hold to raise a baby. It's like, mom. Geez. It's like she wanted to ask him for money or not. It's like a lame. So she can't just walks off crying. And then the mom just sits there

alone talking to the camera crew awkwardly. Yes. Well, she's been at that, because she sees how she sees it. She sees it how she wants to see it, not the truth. So if she wants to do that fine, I mean, it just means no flower wall. Yeah. Pretty much.

So then we saw a cutaway to the Potomac deer, which was gray, a little fawn walking around. And then, the doe was there, love the doe. Yeah. And then from there we go to Ashley at her mom's place for more mommy issues. And now this scene was pretty intense. Like, as I've said many times,

I'm really into the Ashley and her mom's storyline because I feel like it's a really untenable situation. I'm fascinated to see how it's gonna play out. So she's with her mom. Her mom's like cooking something on the stove or cleaning the stove or something and everything seems fine. And her name is Sheila.

And she's based, oh, Sheila call back. And so Sheila and she's based oh Sheila call back and so basically she's she's there and she's like you know what Ashley I came to realize something that I realized I'm tired of not being myself so at first it sounds like this is exciting she's having a breakthrough she's gonna dump the deadbeat and like get her life back together but then you realize she's just saying empty rhetoric that will hopefully like make Ashley get off her back. Yes, because her mom's packing right. So I guess somebody did make a move because the mom's packing and cleaning.

Is that what she was doing? I was confused because she was saying something about a hotel later. I didn't really know what was happening. Yeah. So I think she's I think Michael finally was like, I'm sorry, but this is over. So sorry, she's packing and getting the F out of here. Yeah, so she's frazzled because she's freaking out, you know, and she's been kind of sarcastic when she's like, well, guess what I've decided?

I'm just gonna move, do everything, you know. So she's like, well, mom, you know, she's like, what'd she say? What's the answer? So it's like, I have a hindrance here. And she goes, what's the hindrance? And she goes, my family, I have a buck going on. You, your brother, a job, everything.

Like, notice she never brings the husband up. Who doesn't do shit as a hindrance. It's the kid's fault. Well, what really annoy me here is that, because she's like, listen, I'm sick of not being me, so I've decided I'm just gonna travel, I'm gonna move away, I'm gonna see the world, which is like, no, you're not gonna do any of those things

because you don't have any money. And you're just, this is classic, someone who is in a really bad situation. And so they say something like this. That sounds really positive and parrying, almost to convince themselves, you know, and it's like, but it's also when people are coming down like, you need to get your shit together or you need to go to rehab or you do X, Y and Z. Sometimes people will say this sort of stuff because it sounds like

they're doing something, they are getting their stuff together, you know? So she's saying this like empty rhetoric about moving away and traveling, which is totally unrealistic and as she knows it and And she's like, well, why are you doing this stuff? And when she says, well, I have a hindrance here and it's like what's their hindrance? She goes, it's my family. It's so fucking insulting first of all because the family is not the hindrance the family is the one thing that's like keeping her Live essentially and not living in literally a box according to Ashley live essentially and not living in literally a box according to Ashley. And so Ashley's like, you can't just do that.

And so then that's she'll, it's like, don't fucking judge me now, Ashley. Don't fucking judge me now. It's like, well, man, why don't you drop your deadbeat boyfriend and then she won't judge you. Yeah, and also that house is nice that they were paying for. It's really nice. Like for you not to go through with your promises

when you're getting your wrist and on that sweet house. Yeah, that's not good lady. Okay. I'm trying to be on your side here, but you're not making it easy. Yeah. And so yeah, she goes, don't judge me. Let's talk about Michael. Yeah. Who's not going to get frustrated when a when the husband, if your daughter won't respond to you? I have called him and she goes, am I rude or nasty? Then, no, then call my ass back. And she's like, he's not a bring with that, man, a little mom.

And the mom is just like heaving and walking around kind of manically. Yeah, she was acting a little bonkers. I mean, she was mad, but she was one of those things where she was doing, she was kind of like making it like a false equivalency between Michael not texting her back and her having this Debbie boy from for the past 15 years who like has not had a job and has been leaching off of this money like well

He may be a bad but Michael isn't texting me back. That's sort of the implication which was very frustrating, you know to watch yes And she's like look he just doesn't want to take care of the deadbeat. You know, she don't defend him, Ashley. And she's like, I defend him. I defend you to him. And I defend you to him. I'm going to defend you both. And she's, you're only defending him because he's telling you what he's telling you. He's telling you that you're with the fucking deadbeat and you're using his God damn money

because your husband won't take care of you. Like, that's what's happening. Okay. Exactly. And she's like, it's his money. And she, and she's like, it's his money. And she's like, don't defend him over his money. And then, you know, and Ash is saying, we'll need to have boundaries. And then she was like, oh, yeah, well, you know what?

Like, it's about family. It's about family. And there shouldn't be a boundary when it comes to family, you know, like turning it all around. She's like, listen, I don't do drugs. I don't do cocaine. I don't do crack. Like you think this is bad.

Like, it can get way worse. You're not like enabling some drug habit, which is true, although also we don't know how to do this. Well, you're heaving a lot. You're sure heaving, you know, like I don't know that that's not true. And also, you're not the truth. There's no boundary, you're saying there's no boundaries

with money when you're family. And that's such crap. And you're also saying there's no boundaries with that when you're family. And that's such crap. And you're also saying there's no boundaries with that, but you're threatening to leave because your kids just aren't giving, you know, giving your kids a stressful thing, you know? Yeah, exactly.

And like, you may not be addicted to drugs, but you're addicted to this toxic relationship. Obviously, you're in a bad circle. And she's saying things like, listen Ashley, like you can't just do this over a night. Like it doesn't happen overnight. Like in the real, like you can't just do this overnight. Like it doesn't happen overnight. Like in the real world, you can't just like do that, which I actually respect that, but the thing is it hasn't been overnight now.

It's been like a year and a half. You can do it in a year and a half. You could probably even do it in a week, to be honest. But like, you know, you can't just like, like that's fast, fast, or rhetoric, fast rhetoric, discovery phase. But, and then she was like, I'm changing, I'm going to, I'm changing, which again is like, this sort of thing you hear from someone who you normally have, like it's time for them to go to rehab.

And in this case, it doesn't necessarily have to go to rehab, but she needs, she needs like, an intervention with this guy, obviously, and she's sort of getting one. Yeah, she's just freaking out because her money is turning off. And Michael's not answering, because he knows she's going to try and manipulate him. Yeah, so then she goes, so what do you want me to tell you, Ashley? What do you want me to tell you so you can report to Michael?

And she was like, my husband, of course, I'm going to talk to Michael. It's his money, you know? God. And she tells her, I wouldn't be able to give you to Michael. It's his money, you know? God. And she tells her I wouldn't be able to give you this money. It's Michael's money. Like I would be able to take care of myself

with that money, you know? And so she's the mom's just freaking out, you know? And I get it, but now you're gonna be fucking forced to do something and that's it. So you can't now, I hope that she doesn't take the option of like, look, I'm homeless now. And it's your fault. I hope she will. She will.

She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will.

She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will. She will.

She will. She will. She will. She will. She lady, you were in a house. That's not it. That's not like, it wasn't that they rented you an apartment. That was a house. Like neither of us live in a house. You know, that's like, that's night.

I'm sorry. Dream. Dream, guys. Someday, someday, somebody's going to go and buy us a little house Till then baby, we gonna live in our apartments Don't you know, there's a change Carney Wilson wouldn't even inspire this mom like that's how far gone she is

She wouldn't even hear that song and be like oh my god. I'm inspired. Yeah. Do you hear my Shannon Badoor chair? It's really being Shannon Badoor here today. Yeah, you've got a little That means you're worked up Do you hear my Shannon Badoor chair? It's really being Shannon Badoor here today. Yeah, you've got a little squeaky, man. Ew, ew. That means you're worked up. Ew, ew, ew. Sorry, everyone who's like, where is that noise coming from? It's my Shannon Badoor chair, it's Squeaks. It's like Ronnie's screen door, it's Squeaks,

and my chair is Squeaks. Oh, and thank you to whoever sent me that Amazon link to WD-40. I got some. Hey, I'm in my Amazon Prime this morning. I haven't used it yet, but don't say I don't listen to you guys, okay? So now let's move over to the scent event. Karen scent event where we meet a great new character Sue. Oh my god, Sue. Sue, where am I sitting? You said you'd sit where you'd like to sit. Yeah, her fancy. Her accent, first I thought it was British, then I thought it was Deep South,

then I thought it was South African. It was somewhere in the mix. This lady has a big blonde wig. She sort of looks like, is it Patsy from Abfab? It's just a blonde one from Abfab. Yeah, she does. She sort of looks just the blonde one from Ab-Fab. Yeah, she does. She sort of looked like the blonde one from Ab-Fab. She was, I mean, she was straight out of the 80s,

like a dynasty reject. She was wearing a little, like, choker that was like too tight and too high on her neck. It looked like a little sombrero. It looked like a nex sombrero. Like, it was a sombrero for the Adam's apple might be. It was. She's like, La Cucuracha.

La Cucuracha. Porcholmi descholmi sod. So she's like, it came together in two minutes to spa. How do you like my new bling ring? And it's, I thought she was serious, because he shows, you know, I believe anything they tell me. I'm like, that is huge.

Okay. That's his biggest renactment. And Karen's like, every girl should have a napkin ring like this. Yeah. Oh my God. This one was amazing. So everyone's showing up at this scent event and it's raining outside. And Monique's like, why does it always have to rain when I wear Chanel?

I'm like, shut up Monique. Shut up. Stop it. Because God hates you. Your shallow ass, okay? Maybe that's why. Yeah. So the girls start, the girls start gathering and Matt's just kind of sitting in the background already eating, which is hilarious. So let's see. Monique is like, well, I'm not talking to anybody today. Ashley showed her truth and I believe her and I'm dead. Yeah, well, not with Martini's. And that's how it needs to stay. Exactly.

She goes, I'm detoxing the bad energy. And like, first of all, there's no indication you're detoxing anything because you're literally holding a wine glass as you say that. God, you're right. Like, she's consistently bad with her like, like everything she says, she is like, I am getting a DUI. Don't understand it.

It's like, money, please, you just have to work on your language here. God, you know what, if you're gonna be friends with me, you better learn to walk in a straight line. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha straight line. This friendship is crashing and burning. Okay. God, Ashley has made me so mad. I'm gonna throw myself in a tank. I'm so fierce, I'm seeing double.

She better stay in her own lane. You have gone over the limit Ashley over the limit She is really spitting out of it. She just wants to shake it up So anyway Ashley does show up and she is wearing some crazy dress that has like it's like it looks like someone cut out her dress from like a thing of embroidery and there was still like edges that they didn't get close enough to cut on you know yeah it

looked like her mom was trying like her new face is trying to prove that she can craft yeah she had like little wings there's like these little but it wasn't wings they look like they look like the fins on like on an eel Yes, you know that sort of like the ribbons that are on the up and the bottom top and bottom. Yes But also by Holly hobby. Yes, like really little girly Holly hobby eel fins and then of course We mentioned this already, but candy assass is walking around with the, they keep putting like, fade stuff over her nipples, like her nipples are hanging out. And I couldn't tell if they were or not, but it was cracking yet.

And then she's like, I didn't know we were in the Playboy Mansion. And then enter Jazeal, who looks like a madam, you know. Well, it's like, oh my God, you could be talking to both of them. Yeah, she looked like, she just looked like a giant trashy rose. It was very like silk stockings, asked her big red outfit. So, um... Don't tell them she's out. You look like a stinking rose.

Would you like to come on my scent journey? All right everyone, there is food, but it's self-serve only. We couldn't afford to wait at this time. It's all so shady. It's all so shady. She's like self-serve Okay, just how you jerk so Robin of course is last. She's like whoo worth it I could just spend more time with my man when I live far away. Yeah So Karen starts addressing the group she's well You guys know I'm on a new journey a new journey a sent journey a journey of sent and discovery as discovery phase a face of journey. You know what I'm saying

Let's welcome up Sue Now some people might think that someone's going to sue me, but he's missing. They're suing Wrae I am being sued as in. Here's Sue. You just got sued. She got sued and look her neck is a tribute to Coco. You're pretty that movie. It's wonderful Mixed up like I hope you have fun today and sent her statement You all have a sent personality survey whoever feels it out first get their own necks and braero their eight cent families the first family is fresh so then they are she goes fresh that's the citrus category

citrus like lemon and grapefruit, orange. So she started sending around the little scent sticks and she really smells it because it's nice and it just looks at her phone. Like she really pay attention, okay, stop with your Sudoku. Wake me up when they hit the fan pain fact. Fan. I'm just gonna, this is not fresh shot, this is musk.

So Robbins like, oh, are you expecting a chore from Monique? And sure enough Monique is being quiet. She's not being a chatterbox like usual. So some things on her mind and the ladies are sure to get to the bottom of it soon. But first, woodsy sense. And Candace goes, my dad would wear this. I'm like, okay, is this your is this your on tray into your lunch with your mother? Woodsy sense. And Candace gets my dad would wear this. I'm like, okay, is this your entree into your lunch with your mother? Because this is not the time young lady.

Yes, it's like, this is, all right ladies, this is sheep, sheep, sheep, everyone's a sheep. Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, they like want sheep, sheep. What do you think of? What do you smell? Sheep, bra. And just like, what do Sheeps? Sheep. What do you think of? What do you smell? Sheep raw. And just else like, what do you think of a teacher in second grade with a teacher smell like grapes?

But that's what I think. So they're all just smelling different things. Like not meg, cinnamon, vanilla, oriental, whichever oriental smell. I don't know. I felt like that feels weird. That was awkward. I was like, but you're, I think you're allowed to say Oriental about objects. I think that's not, I shouldn't say a lie. No, you can't say Oriental. You don't say Oriental. I thought what it was is it's impolite to refer to and it's wrong to refer to Asian people as Oriental because Oriental is a type of thing, right?

I mean, I don't know. I just called a rug Oriental. I said, oh, I love your Oriental is a type of thing, right? I mean, I don't know. I just called a rug Oriental, I said, oh, I love your Oriental rug. And they said, you're not allowed to say Oriental rug anymore. But I forgot the, the, well, it might be in my words. And now I just say, I like your rug and just leave it at that. It might be past say, I mean, I could be wrong

about the Oriental thing. And either way, I try not to say that word as much as possible, except of course on a podcast. Just blasting it out to everyone. But anyway, just trying to find the proper words because I don't want people to be upset. People should not be offended when they listen to their real house as a Potomac podcast, so please, someone weigh in, so we stop making fool of ourselves right here. Oh my God!

We are having a great time. They're coming with pitchforks, I guess it Oriental well, I mean I would listen if it's offensive I don't want to offend someone yeah, I like me. Someone please check me about a control Check your Oriental at the door sir. So Ashley's like Karen goes what's your vote fresh or Oriental and Ashley's like Fresh Oriental that's my pick. Well, who doesn't like Fresh Oriental? Am I right?

So Suu is like, oh, it will be making you all sense. You all are going to get a cent gift from Suu. They're like, oh my God. Ah. That's basically it. You know, I once saw when Sudoku is really big. I once saw that there's a There's like an app is in an app or a game. There's something called like Susan Voorhees Sudoku Challenge and

Apparently those women like Susan in the UK who is like Renown for her Sudoku skills. And I wonder if it's the same suit. Hello, I'm Sue Doku. I have to look up this later. I went camping with my friends this weekend. We were fighting over whether or not we're going to play gotsy or Uno. Okay.

We're very intelligent me and my friends. So we were having this fight, and Trisha's like, I'm gonna be on the side of Ono Uno, because she likes cards. And I was like, well, I'm on the side of Andrew Yatsi. And then we made this whole relationship between Andrew Yatsi and Ono Uno. And like, they divorced because one likes die

and one likes cards So then I come back and here we are with Sue doku the woman who ruined it all she doesn't like either card or die Numbers but I looked it up the woman's name is Carol Vorderman as she has a game called Carol Vorderman Sudoku, the board game. And in Carol's own word, the description, R-M-S-S-S-D-O-Q-Addict. It seems that Sudoku Addicts are male, female, young and old. We're all hooked.

This game is the next stage of Sudoku craze. It has players at different levels to complete fairly against each other. I love it. It's perfect for the all-the-family and a fantastic value for the money. Signed, Carol Vorderman, relation, Sue. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Candace and Ashley go to go to pee and now that they're gone just I'll ask Monique like what's wrong? Why why the why the long face etc. And basically Shoshka jumps in because Monique's again. It's like I'm detoxing energies and Robin goes do you talks where that come from?

Yeah, Shoshka's I think that with the correlation of and Sasha goes, I think that with the correlation of infinuating that correlating drinking is correlated with driving bad. It's the correlation of the insinuation of your thompson of the present asin with the graduate wasting and the congratulate and graduate and with the nation.

Like Sasha be quiet. So Robin's like, but we were fine in the hot tub. Remember, I just told everyone we made up. And he's like, yeah, in the hot tub, you were like, oh, whoop, whoop! And Moniko's, well, at that time, I was nice and toasted. I'm like, so you're saying that you were too drunk to be mad and Ashley about her saying you were drinking.

Is that what you're saying? You said you were nice and toasted. Do you realize this is like, it's like Monique. You need to do it. Sorry for coughing. It's okay. She literally said I was nice and toasted. That's why she wasn't mad at Ashley.

Well at least it wasn't, you know, too toasted to be in a car. I'm moving forward. She's just really, she's really bad at deflecting these, uh, drinking these drinking problem rumors. So these girls are never going to let anything go. I'm like, don't say anything because you're just giving them something to talk about. So just like, Oh, so you're saying, you drank to calm down. And she's like, in the hot tub, I didn't drink. It wasn't in the hot tub, I drank. That was a cigar. That was a cigar shaped like a wine bottle.

But I accidentally, right liquid for his out of it. Yeah. I actually inhaled it by inhaled. I mean, drank. So now I'm trying to throw up. Yes. So just so goes, Oh, so you threw up in the bushes over a cigar. Like, oh my gosh, she's in so much trouble. So that we see a clip of the hot tub with Monique going off to barf and then they show a close-up of the champagne bottle. Yeah, I guess. This is the second time, it's like this time around.

It's like, oh, I see. She's smoking the cigar. I was like, yes. I don't know about that. So Monique's like, well, I'm just going to have a private conversation with Ashley and talk about it. And she's like, no, what? Do it at the table. You know, and they're like, you know, Ashley, you know, Monique is the one who was saying you got to call people

out at the moment. It happens. You got to call them out. Put them on blast in front of everyone. And now she doesn't want to do it. So just always like, uh-uh, not on my reality TV show. You are going to have a confrontation right here, right now. I have nothing to talk about this season. So let's do this. Now we went to commercial break and something strange happened. There was a promo for your husband is cheating on us and they were making it seem like it had never aired. They were basically like, on your husband's cheating on us,

the lights going up is just the first part of the drama. It's like, look at all the backstage drama, yada, yada, yada. Your husband's cheating on us, premiering June something and other. And it's like, look at all the backstage drama, yada yada yada, your husband's cheating on us, premiering June something and other. And I'm like, and it's like new series. And I'm like, what is Bravo trying to guess at us? Are they trying to make it act like they did not just show this show like two months ago?

Well, they only showed, I think, two episodes of it. Two or three. So I don't know if it was like a mini run or like a mini pilot and then maybe it got. Well, they did two episodes and then they moved to, then they moved it to Friday nights and then I don't know what happened then. I kind of feel like they probably retooled it

and are like, okay, we are, we're gonna change it around and we're gonna change the marketing around it because I think, I wonder if people didn't, they probably didn't play up the amount of drama and they probably didn't, they probably did not market it correctly. But I just thought that was weird. Like, do they know that we already knew it was on TV?

Like, what, what, yeah, I don't think they did. They did it in for a nice old fashioned recap, but you know. They did that to Sweet Home, Oklahoma, but they didn't, but with Sweet Home, Oklahoma, they didn't make it sound like it was a new show. They just were like, and they're back. And in fact, it looks like that show is coming back but just being called sweet home and it's gonna follow it's gonna be less about like these three ladies having antics it'd be more about like interior design with antics. Well one of the ladies quit which one the boring one which one was

the so now the design. I'm a lady who's the really tall kind of scare crewy one who has a design firm and then pumps who's a chunky girl who puts her fit bed on her dog to make her friend think she's running around. Of course, I thought it was hilarious. I love a good old fashioned comedy. And so pumps is her friend, but it's just going to be an hour-long design show where they're doing something different every week. I think they totally changed it, which I don't know why because it was such a popular show. I thought it was really cute. I'm surprised, so was it Lee?

Lee was the one who quit? No, I think Lee is a designer. I don't remember, because I remember there was pumps in the two other women who looked to... Well, there was one woman who was marriage, that guy, who was the lawyer, and then... That's her. That's the designer.

Okay, so Lee is the other woman. So Lee quit, I liked Lee. I wonder why she quit. I don Lee. I wonder why should we quit? I Don't know. I think she didn't like the attention or I don't you know, I want to say I just didn't follow the gossip Yeah Anyway, I just thought it was strange that Bravo was and I'm looking even right now that they have There's I'm gonna look into it. I'm gonna report back because I think it's so weird that Bravo did that anyway

so we come back to the show and Monique starts the confront Ashley about the drinking and now the screaming begins. And Monique is like, you know, you made it, you know, you started talking about behind my back, about how much I was drinking and now she's like, you know, I didn't say anything about your drinking until you started to say it.

And then once you started to say it, you know, then I thought, okay, I said it, but I didn't say it because I drinking until you started to say it. And then once you started to say, you know, then I thought, okay, I said, but I didn't say it because I thought it would be mean. Like when I called you up, oh yeah, that's what it was. Monique was like, how come that when you called me on the night of the accident, you weren't like, you were drinking so much, you were just nice. And that's just like, well, because I thought it would be mean to bring up how much you were drinking when you just got into car accident, know, and I wasn't gonna say anything until you started talking about that you were drinking beforehand, so then I started talking about it Yeah, she's like well I would if that was my issue then I would have parked the car in the garage room pretended it didn't happen and I should say yeah But that's not nice and later incident because you drank a whole bottle of wine on the bus and she's like

I was not driving and you said I had four drinks or five drinks and I have things to lose unlike someone who gets an alarmist once a month. I'm like, excuse me, lady, everything you're doing is paid for by your husband. Get off your fucking, get off your high horse. And I generally like Monique, but that's a low blow from someone married to a rich dude with five houses. And I do like that. Ashley's like pretty upfront about her situation with Michael, so she never seems to, she doesn't get all like, pissy about being an allowance.

I mean, she's like very upfront about it. But yeah, when Ashley was like, you drank a whole bottle of wine by herself and Monique's like, oh, now I can't drink some wine. Now I can't drink some wine and Ashley's like, yeah, but like you were like way ahead of everyone else. And then Monique's like, oh, okay, well then you go brag about drinking four to five beers.

You just drank four to five beers that long, you bragged about that. She's like, and then she's like, but did I crash my car? No, I did not. And by the way, this is not, I mean, obviously drinking four to five beers before driving is also not good.

But I also feel like drinking four to five beers is not compared to drinking four to five Marchinis. You know, two beers is not count, does not compare to two Marchinis. Yeah. Still not smart to drive after either one of those, but like it's different, girl, it's different. Yes, and then so Susan's like,

Matt, take care of this. Take care of it, Matt. Do this, Matt. And he stands up and he's like, oh, hell no, and he sits back down. He looks terrified, he just stands up like, okay no, and he sits back down. Let's terrify Okay, and he just wants to say not My some bro. It's about to fall off my neck. Help get the tip get the tip

So Monique's like you aren't my friends and I ain't got time for a bottom-ass bitches Yeah, which was kind of funny and Karen's like stop it now Stop it now. Stop. Stop. Do not do this here. Do not. I might have discovered a journey of phases and sense. No, stop it. Non-full of Sue.

Non-full of Sue. We're supposed to be journeying to my discovery. I mean, I'm not supposed to be all to leave. You can't conduct yourself. Stop. Security. Security. And Sue's like,

Ladies, ladies, I'm British, ladies, ladies, I'm British, ladies, ladies. And Karen goes to the security guy, she goes, well, definitely say it's time to go. And he's like, it's time to go. The event is over. The event is over. We've discovered the journey, the journey ends here.

Journey's over. So then, Kathy is still trying to stick up for Monique just because it's like one of the only people being truly friendly with her and Ashley, you know, and she's like, well, maybe it's just her blood alcohol level would be higher because of body mass index. I don't know. No, she goes, well, maybe her BMI will be higher. And then Ashley's like, why are you talking about BMI body mass index? Are you talking about blood alcohol index? She's like, I don't know me. Yeah, I guess so. I was like, so now they're outside. And Candace is still complaining.

She's about what Ashley was saying. So Ashley just walks up to her and Monika's like, would you get away with me with those freaking ass wings? Just fly away with those wings? And Ashley's like, well, you have those wings too. So Monika, it could literally tarnish everything I built. And she tells us, well, you have those wings too. So, I'm gonna be like, it could literally tarnish everything I've built. And she tells us, look, I have always worked charity for the whole DMV area. And this could ruin everything I've got going.

Like you have a charity for the DMV area. What does that mean? Well, that means that's the DC, Maryland, Virginia area. Oh, I thought she was saying the department and motor vehicle She actually probably meant that she probably was like I literally have a charity like a beautification for the street the DMV It's on but Monique I have a parking charity and this could hurt it So I thought that was like one of the finest moments when Monique goes you could turn it Everything I've built and they they by show Robin just laughing in the background just calling everything I've built my god shut up

Now that's the Robin I like the one who snickers in the corner and just like laughs at the bullshit people say And then just goes she said fly with the wings They were cracking up. I love how they were laughing money. They're gonna say everything she's built I mean you're right. I mean I mean Robin's right like she's not built. What what is she built? What has she built? She's had two catch-ups with fish tanks. So I think we should give some credit. Yeah, and then Ash is like, um, so I don't think Monique crashed her car because she was drunk, but alcohol makes you drowsy.

I'm like, yeah, that's called drunk driving. If you get drowsy from alcohol and crash your car, that's drunk driving. And so, if you're driving an ash, you're screaming at each other. And then it just cuts to sherry smiling, like just that little smile. Sherry loves this shit. Yeah. And Ashley goes, like, what, no, you're trying to blame me

because Monika's so mad that she's like, no, and now you all see it. No, no, no, no. And you try to blame her. Well, she's blaming me. Well, because, well, first, first I have to say, I love when Ashley goes, yeah, she was just tired and the martini's just didn't wake her up any. I was like, exactly.

Exactly. Funny. The martini's just didn't seem to really wake you up when you were tired. Um, but yeah, so now Monique is saying that she doesn't like the way Rob and Judged are for the way she drank the bottle of Camu. So now, so now Monique is yelling at Rob and Rob and Rob's like, no, I'm in this. What did I do And then they're just you know Monique's going off like yeah, yeah, yeah And then she tells Rob to shut up So when when Monique tells Rob to shut up Rob is supposed to be like you just told me to shut up You just tell me to shut up so she gets like right up in Monique's face And you got I actually felt like Rob and wasn't even trying to fight

I feel like she just was like I'm just gonna fuck with this girl right now because she's such an in such a tizzy I'm just gonna get in her face and see what she does I'm gonna go see Monique. It's like well the green eyed bandit they're pinky in the brain or whatever yeah trying to make it look like I'm a drunk and set up set up set up set up security security Sue Sue get security all heavens

not on my time not on my time Matt Matt get involved here Matt where's Matt I just see a pillar of smoke. Where's that? Dustin and the final line of this of the night is Monique going get out of my face before I choke you out with this umbrella It's so extra. I'm like Monique's like pump the brakes like no Monique see that's what you didn't do She's like you're about to kill a baby tree if you keep speeding like this She's like I just want to have find a happy median

You really crossed the double line okay Don't try your shoulder it I'm gonna ditch these girls. Yield. Yield, man. You better, I'm gonna swerve. Swerve. And that brings us to the end of Potomac. Yes, thank you, Potomac, for giving us a reason to make drunk driving jokes. That's fun.

God, that was so funny. I was cracking up. I could not believe how many times Monique was saying such, like, I could not believe how many ridiculous things Monique was saying in defense for drunk driving. You got to listen to words that come up in your mouth, Monique. Got to listen.

So funny, so funny. Thank you all for listening. We'll be back tomorrow to talk about the finale The band of pump rules reunion. We have another fun. We have a little fun surprise for this week We won't talk about it just yet until it's until it's locked in but we have a fun surprise So if one's a tune for that. Oh, and one more thing which we totally forgot to mention last week We said we're gonna mention it Monday last week and we forgot. So now it's Monday this week. We have the winners of our Leab Black contest from our Chicago show for best outfit slash

costume slash shirt, etc. Yes, if you want wonderful facial products or fabulous jewelry, go over to Leab Black dot com. So these winners are so great. products or fabulous jewelry go over to Lee and Black.com. So these winners are so great. Mara made it spelled on Instagram. It's at M-E-R-E, mirror M-A-I-I-D, made aid. She made a bright pink Trixi Monaco jacket, like a tour jacket for Trixi Monaco, which was bad ass

So that's our first winner congrats B.O.T. Yeah, congrats and then our second winner is Marilyn Johns. What was Marilyn's? What was her Instagram again for everyone to follow? Instagram is at the Marilyn Johns Very easy and that's jo hns not a jo ns situation So she did she made it she had a t-shirt that was basically a recreation of the Baba Art on in Katie and Tom Schwartz's apartment. And it just says like, Baba, baby, baby, baby, baby, Baba, Baba.

So. And she also wore a Katie terrible leopard tattoo on her wrist. I mean, the girl went all out. It was two great examples. There were actually a lot of amazing things and just remember anytime we do these giveaways and you're coming to our shows, be sure to use the hashtag on Instagram

so that way you can be eligible for the contest. So congrats guys, you guys, look amazing. Yes, everybody, we love you. Can't wait to see the shirts you guys come up with. And thanks, Leah Black. At LeahBlack.com. And go to watchacrapins.com to get tickets for all our shit. We want to see all of your faces in every single one of those seats, every single one of

the seats, every single one of our shows. So go to watchacrapins.com to buy a ticket. Make sure you tell your friends, can't be just you, you got to bring a friend and buy those Ben Ron shirts because they're only here for a week and once they're gone, they are gone. Yep, and next week on Tuesday, so a week from tomorrow is our Google Hangout. So if anybody wants to do that, you join on Patreon, that's a big video hangout party where we all laugh each other, laugh our ass asses on what am I even talking about today? That's a big one day. You're drunk. You're drunk. You're drunk and driving drunk and driving podcasts

You guys yeah, sorry everybody. We love you. We'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone Hey prime members You can listen to watch our crap and add on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.