Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Shade Whatcha Mama Gave Ya

Episode Date: May 8, 2018

Candiace isn't playing sweet anymore on "Real Housewives of Potomac," and we're all about it. Come listen to our latest recap, and stick around for Crappens Spotlight! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardity, dowity! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird! Jess Sayon, okay! Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, they Grant Master, give them whole, miss no Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Rapins! Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love.

I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Banta Blender podcast. Joining me on this beautiful Monday is a charming man who drives very well and certainly would never crash into a smaller tree before crashing into a larger tree. It is Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and there was Prick's Batcha Podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well hello, Bean! How are you doing on this fine Monday?

I'm doing so so good. What a great day. We went to see the Countess show this weekend here in LA and saw a bunch of our friends and brother family. And so if you guys want to hear about that, that's our bonus episode today. Go check it out. Yeah. We'll probably be up for this podcast by the way.

Yeah. Won't be there immediately, but keep an eye out. Yeah, I think it comes up on Tuesdays. And then we, what else? Oh, I'm packing for Chicago tomorrow. It's going to be a really fun. Yeah. Ronnie, you've been working like a busy little beaver

over there on the merchandise side of things. Any special announcements you want to make? Yeah. So you guys have been requesting different colors of shirts and like ladies versions of shirts, you know, like not just a standard tee. So we came out with the regular shirts and many different styles and colors for ladies and men. And we also are we also just put up our first

limited edition shirt and it is the give them Ben Ron shirt. Yeah, it's our version of the give them La La shirt from this season's Vanderpromp rules. It's our faces drawn, our gorgeous faces. Yes. Those will only be available through the end of May, well, a little after, because it's for one month. And you can get those with free shipping right now all week. Yeah.

And to do that, go to watch itcrapons.com and just click the shop link. Or if you can remember it, go to crappensmerch.com. Yeah. Another thing is that, so we're basically transitioning all of our merchandise from like Amazon. Essentially, this is Threadless and the store is Threadless, powered by Threadless.

And so all the merchandise going forward is going to be basically like powered as I said by my threadless created by threadless. So but we still have some merchandise left over in our Amazon where literally in an Amazon warehouse. So you can still get that stuff. You go to watch your crap and calm. But once that stuff is sold out, it's done forever.

So if you do like those things, because it is different merchandise than what you're gonna be getting on threadless, if you do like that stuff, it's still there, go get it, but just know that it's, once it's gone, it's gone, as they say. So just keep that in mind, if you are like a watcher crappin' completionist and you want your wine glasses, et cetera.

Yeah, your wine glasses, your pint glasses, your coffee mangs, you better get them. Do we have shot glasses or those gone? Those are gone, those are sold out, sir. Gone for good, and they're still some classic watercrap and t-shirts. You never know that those will become, those will be vintage, you know, 20 years from now they'll show up in urban outfitters on sale for $60. So, you know, get them all their cheap. Yes, I'm just complimenting ourselves on our longevity there I'm just projecting that we'll be around in 20 years Well, why the hell not even if these househors aren't we will be we'll be talking we'll be talking shit

It's some about something. Yeah, I have I have I have pork roasting in the oven right now I can probably do a five-part series on that You know it's our one. Here's what's happened. Well, it looks pretty good. I put a lot of seasoning on it. I'm a little concerned, and also, no hummingbirds have come to our hummingbird feeder.

So it's just like a very chaotic day. That's our one. I will see you guys. Bezai. Also, to finish up our plugging, we are going to be on tour all year long. Next is Chicago, I'll be that sold out. Sorry, but we are going to be on to our all year long Next is Chicago obby that sold out sorry, but we are going to be doing Phoenix next month and San Francisco on gay pride Phoenix is going to be real housewives of New York and

Gay pride and San Fran is going to be Southern show on gay pride and we might have some special Pretend guest star opinion opinion appearances pretend guest star opinion opinions appearances by some of Kansas Lou Ayrons friends because she'll be playing right up the street at the same time we we're playing so we're just gonna imagine that she's with us doing her show. So come check it out. Yeah and the other thing is actually regarding the Chicago show Lincoln Hall which is where we're performing they just

tweeted out this morning they are doing a giveaway for tickets to our show on Wednesday. So if you want tickets and you haven't been able to get them, definitely go check out either our Twitter feed because we retweeted it that's at what crap ends or Lincoln Hall is at Lincoln Hall to find information on how you can get involved with that because you might be able to win some tickets for yourself to see our show in Chicago. Yeah, guys, still. And by the way, in case you didn't hear the last thing, in case you didn't hear our announcement, Chicago, we're covering the Van der Pum rules reunion across both shows.

We're going to cover the entire reunion over both shows. The first shows and you get the first half of the recap, second shows, you get the second half, kind of weird, but this way we don't have to rush anything and everyone's gonna get some Vanderpump rules fun that we can all deep dive into and scream about. So excited, this reunion is gonna be a bat, nanas. It is in Chicago, treated us so well back in September, so I'm excited to be embraced so we can suckle

on the warm teeth of Chicago and the Chicago business. Yeah guys. Yeah. So today is Monday which means it is time to move into real housewives of Phatomic. Burnt. Dun dun dun dun dun. Burnt.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Burnt. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Burnt. Burnt. Dun dun dun dun dun. This episode is titled, I came from Jesus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'m sure then Jesus would have taken the wheel. Yes, and Jesus would not have five pumps. He was very against like multiple home ownership and saltwater tanks, fish tanks in the kitchen.

Yes, yeah, he takes, he takes, and not having any. If you look at the Bible, he has a very strong stance about saltwater fish tanks. You just have to look, I think it's in the King James version, I'm not sure, don't quote me on it, but I'm pretty sure Jesus has some strong opinions on fish tanks. You just have to look. I think it's in the King James version. I'm not sure. Don't quote me on it but I'm pretty sure Jesus has some strong opinions on fish tanks.

I mean it would have made his job a lot easier to ask for sure, being a fisherman at all. Oh, you're right. I mean, I think I'm Jewish. I don't know these things. My my my testament knowledge ends after book number five. I was like, enough. It's like you just got sick of reading Harry Potter. You know, you still have to know how it ends. You're like, you have to believe in it. You know, there's like an appropriate conclusion. It's like the fast and furious movies. I sort of stopped at five.

I was like, I get it. I think I get it at this point. You know, a giant safe fell down in Brazil and they had to like tow it out with a helicopter or something or drive around. I was like, I don't need it. Little did I know that after like the fifth movie, all sorts of shit happened, like Paul Walker dies,

but yet he's still on screens. That's like the resurrection, I guess. Yeah. Stuff happens, but I'm only like, I just, I'm over at five. Yeah, I'm that wonky-eyed girl plays Judas. I'm assuming. I mean, oh, is that Michelle Rodriguez? Yes, I'm so sorry for calling you the wonky-eyed girl.

I know she's listening to this. Well, she's like free lists free weights like dumbbells. She's like, God damn you. Well, I mean, I think it's pretty well known that the entire cast of fast and furious listens to watch or crap in the between takes. I think that's known. Like, Vin Diesel is like in his trailer being like, you got that one Roy. Oh, Vin.

Maybe Gal Gadot does. I don't know. Yeah, Vin, call me. It's been too long. Gal, come to our show. Yeah, we forgot to mention Gal Gadot was coming to our San Francisco show. You're special guests. We are dedicating our next show to Paul Walker.

What is this watch or crap in? I don't get it. Why you have this? This is comedy show, great American musical. This is not music. This is podcast. I don't know. Good bye everyone. I have to laugh about you, imitating her and Wonder Woman. Why you do that? That's what she was that's what it's like why you do that why you'd nothing next to me what why you were cold I can't wait why I you do that huh that's what the entire movie was you're not gonna go on battle field

why not no man's land well I'm not man I'm. I'm woman. Don't get watch me. Oh It's so good. It's a classic speaking of a wonder woman in her own right Karen is using her superpower talking to Siri She's like Siri call Matt buyers and series like I'm sorry. Did you mean Matthew buyers? Oh? Well, who else would it be? Siri? I mean ridiculous Who else is named Matthew Siri, you're my friend of 12 years you know the turniest lash assistant Matthew buyers I love Siri and I love that she's really talking to Siri like she works for her Like Siri who else is named Matthew and she's like I'm just a humble assistant

She's like that's what they all say girl. Thanks up honor. Hey Matthew, I'm calling to let you know you have some competition the assistant department. Get it Siri. Are you still in the line? Siri, take a note. Siri, are you wearing a red shirt with white polka dots? Because I don't like my assistants competing with each other and the mini-masso rena. Jizzella, I'm calling to say I had to fire Siri. It turns out she's working for many other people as well, and I need an assistant who is so focused on me.

Let's say Siri, let's say. You know, by the way, remember, when we used to do things, we used to say things like, hey Siri, play coliope music, and everyone would get annoyed at us. Well, just did it. I just want everyone to know that the big guys have figured it out because now they're all these commercials.

I was watching a basketball game and it was like, it was like, want to know what the scores are? Hey Siri, pull up the scores. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was like, you're pulling a crap and smooth on me NBA. Yes, they did. It was ordering the machine. I don't only want to say the name, which you come up with a different name for her for this show because it really does make people. Correct, right? Gloria. Gloria. Yeah. So

no, we don't we actually have a name. We have a member Pat. Oh, yeah. Was a Pat. No, I don't think so. Because, Jan, I don't remember. I think you know, I don't remember things. Jean, it was Jean. Jean. Okay. Yeah, Jean was Jean was Siri, except it was like Siri if Siri were your mom. Like, you know, I was, I can't quite find that weather. I don't know. Um, yeah, so her. So, what was I gonna say about that? We just need to have a different, what was I gonna say about her?

Oh my god, you guys, I'm losing it. I'm not even drunk. You're actually doing the same thing. I'm sorry, what did you need me to do again? Oh, that's right. Okay, I just focused, okay. I'm refocused. I'm refocused. That's what they all say, Siri. So, she, Karen is sitting there acting like she's working super hard and she's taking notes and they show up a close-up of her notes and she's written one word and it says fragrance.

Fragrance. I need you to dictate this for me. Okay. Memo. Tare from Karen. Fragrance. Sine Karen. Because stupid Jean didn't remember Matthew's number. I had to write a word there on my notebook. Jean, are you there? Jean, are you there?

Okay, Jean. Here's what. Fragrance. Odor. Scent. Obsession. Utility. Infinity.

Strong enough for a man, but made for a puppy? Not right yet, not right yet. Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's frayed, no, it's not right. It's not like fragrance, Alene. No, not right, not right. Maybe if I just write fragrance down, something will come up, Ray.

Hey, Ray, hey, Ray, hey, baby. And he's like, hello. He goes, how are you. And he's like, oh, hello. He goes, how are you? And she's like, I'm buried in paper. You are literally going to be buried in paper because you're too poor to afford a plot, okay? Ray is literally going to cover you with newspapers and just leave you in the guest room if you die first.

Ray, I'm in a great space right now because you've been protecting me and by not telling me about what's going on in your life. Thank you. Thank you, Ray. Yes. Ray won't talk to me, but it's just because he's protecting me. I feel like it's Wonder Woman herself looking over me except it's not a lady and it's not Gal Gadot.

It's Ray. Wonder Man. Ray's like, why you do that? Why you write this fragrance? Why you do that? So Ray says down, she's like, well, Ray, seeing Rayven go off to college for junior year, I can't even believe it's been junior year already,

but if Singer go off in that rental car, going off to Carvell, and I said it was college, but you know, we know it was Carvell. And Ray is so checked out, and I love every second of them, because he's holding his phone, first of all, and like this really, really strong, autobox case, which I don't know why I noticed, but that's like, that's hilarious that he's so terrified of dropping his phone. But he's sitting there like, my phone could ring at any moment, and he goes, well, Raven is at school. And whenever folks go back,

I'm like, where is this leading? Yeah, I really wish he could have finished that sentence because I was like, when ever folks go back, what is he gonna say? I'm already fascinated. She Karen has this weird way of linking these concepts like her segue. She's like, well, seeing Raven go off to college

for junior year, it inspired me to make this fragrance. I was like, hmm, what was it like the smell of exhaust? It's your like standing there as the Yukon fumes go onto you as she goes down the driveway. She's chasing your dreams, not watching it's my dreams, I want to make a fragrance. I can't enterprise, that's the umbrella company that I have it. They make umbrellas, but we want to also get into fragrances. Fragrances That's a Fregrance that smells like an umbrella. She's what I'm saying there. It's a sort of fragrance that smells like gravel in your eye because that's what it would smell like. I want a really inspired, an umbrella that's a small umbrella.

It's somewhere between a parasol and an umbrella. You stick it out in that way. The fumes of gravel and exhaust. They bounce off the umbrella and keep you smelling. Wonderful. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, Parasod and a brello, you stick it out in that way, the fumes of gravel and exhaust, they bounce off the umbrella and keep you smelling wonderful.

Well, icon enterprises is an umbrella empire for icon hair, which is for cancer patients, and now I've decided to branch out into fragrance. That is the oddest link I've ever heard. Yeah. It's just a, it's just a it's only Karen could make that link, you know, do we want Karen to be an authority on hair? I mean, even like last week's little little little mishap with nonwithstanding, I mean, hair has never

really been her strong point, right? Well, we learned as we go, you know, I mean, she's finally found a hot glue gun probably after last week, you know, she's like burning her scalp to keep that show up. Maybe just come out with wig glue. Well, it's a house I'm building. It's a house of beauty. It's built on umbrellas. It's basically bunch of umbrellas that I stacked up together and glued and they

made the shape of a house and walk in. You're like, I don't know if this is bad luck because you're not supposed to open up umbrellas inside a house. But what if the house is actually umbrellas itself? It's a lot to think about, and there's a fragrance too. Well, people learn slowly, and I have to say Karen does learn new tricks. She has new edges, which are very impressive. I mean, I always feel bad bowling people, everything's like that, but I feel like we're making

a difference in our own little way. I'm sure that she didn't do that because we told her, I'm sure it was the internet, but I like to think that it's because we bullied her that she got new edges. So Ben, I wish we were together right now, so I can five you. Yeah. I mean, so many things are happening. We, we met the countess. We have a new t-shirt. We shamed Karen into fixing her edges because I'm sure that's what she listened to the most.

Gay white men who just only learned what edges are last year We learned so much We learned baby steps. That's just how it is Remember when Claudia Jordan told Neenie like you have no edges and I literally was like oh that was like a very Wow, what a cutting thing to say like she lost her edge and everyone's like um no Like lady here. I was like yes I'm white. I'm white.

Guys, we may be the widest people you know, but you'll learn more culture from the show than any other. Because we learn at baby steps. Baby steps and doing things entrepreneurial these. So, how's the beauty? I'm brilliant. Speaking of baby steps, do you learn for babies? Yeah.

Honestly, with this rebirth deodorant for babies. Yeah, honestly, with this rebirth, yeah, so Karen's like, honestly, with this rebirth, I know more about finances than ever thought I would. I was like, wait, where did the rebirth happen? Yeah, no kidding. How about you just like get over your first birth? I think you're still struggling from that. I mean, I have a press conference to cover myself in concert, but that'll be my, sort of, like, my metaphorical piscenta. And I'm gonna birth myself at the press conference. People think work is for me, but talk about was no joke. Like, she keeps doing that like a wink and point thing whenever she talks.

Now, I don't know where she learned that, but she looks like someone turned on a strobe light and she's just starting to have like, you know, fits. Let's face it on the grandum of the Taco Bell Coven. Yes, I'm gonna wear my weight and defend a pump rules. Yeah, Plum teeny, please. I love that she talks about Taco Bell and then they show a picture and she's like 16. Is that your rebirth? Are we just pretending nothing has happened in between then and now? She's like, I'll talk about just like it was yesterday and here I am now doing my thing entrepreneurly. I'm like, well that's quite a jump. I didn't know Taco Bell was even around in the Victorian era.

Back then we called it Street Cart with Tortilla. We called it, back then we called it Yamaka meat, because we thought those were tears were Yamaka that were just folded over and two do it. Back then it was just called donkey cart. Back then it was just called donkey cart actually. I spent many years my life jumping over barrels trying to try to tackle giant ape and never got there. Let me tell you donkey cart is no joke. Let me tell you, Donkey Kong is no joke. Let me tell you, I went into plumbing afterwards. It's great. Great work. From Chalupa's to Wigs for Cancer Patients to Makeup. Here we are. What an evolution. So she's like, well, Ray, you know, this rebirth and everything, finances and blah,

blah, blah, blah. But respectfully, I need your help your help I'm like what part of my ass is broke. Don't you understand lady? He owes like 11 million dollars or so How much money does he owe now? I'm just pulling numbers out of the out of the area, but it's a lot He's like I'm gonna go watch a biography of Yvonne Lendon the tennis channel and said just to protect you I'm not gonna talk to you just to protect you right now. Yes, he's like, consider my silence protection. He's like, well, I would love to have your back, but it would be nice if you could find someone else, basically, just anybody.

Literally start to lemonade stand in the driveway. I don't care, just please stop asking me for money. Please, you just bought a Lamborghini. Oh, Ray, you know, it's so so appropriate your name is Ray because I'm just feeling Ray's a protection falling down on me Ray. Thank you so much for that. She's like well people are gonna ask where she got this money but trust. I have my own money and then she likes to smack the camera and points at us.

Like, no, you don't. I don't think she understands marital law. She's like, she's like, I trust, I have my own money. Yeah, some of us are called task rapists for a reason. She just shows up. She's like, you want to mount a television? Well, I'm not here to do that. Goodbye. I do have an

edge for you to try on so now we go over to Monique I could totally hear a dork reeking okay sorry sorry no it's not going down so it's funny because now it's like a joke for the listeners because they always listen for the dork reak. You know, they're like, there's a clear- The quarantine made me laugh so hard, I needed to cigarette. I was like, aw, this was fun. So, it's funny. Ashley and Sherees go to the pub. Shashas.

Yeah, but they go to cryo. They go to get some, which was so two years ago, that's like Yolanda Foster. Even the cryo place at like, this might crappy LA fitness try to be like really trendy and open up a cryo section. It's like, hmm. Honey, your LA fitness, okay. No one's doing cryo there. Also, Diode.

Diode. Well done. High five. High five. So anyway, so Monique has, Monique is just, she's burning the candles at both ends. Okay. She's creating some sort of product her like she would. She is, you know, she would. She's like, yeah, I have five starting her own charity, she has kids, she has some of a nanny, she's doing a million different things, she's got to get laid with that big old, Chris Samuels' dick, you know, that's a lot of work, you know, and the music, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t the world. Yes. And Candy asks who last week took her hazing very well. Yes. Like she didn't lose her temper. And we were so impressed with her. I was at least. I was like, I cannot believe she withstood that. It didn't have a fit and yell at everybody. I'm yeah. Impressed. Apparently that's not really working for anybody in production or in the cast. Because the whole scene is like, why would you let them yell at you? Yeah. Why would you let them treat

you like that? You need to yell back at that? Exactly and the thing is with candy ass is that Basically, I do actually think that she didn't handle it as well as as we thought she did because She well she did she was like I'm gonna roll with the punches, but I feel like in her mind she's like Okay, this will be the episode where they hate me and I be cool. And she's wrote things and now it's over. Because she's like a beauty pageant queen. And she's like, okay, this is the bathing suit competition. This is the hazing competition.

And now we move on to our next event. And they're like, uh-uh, we're not done with you yet. And I don't think she can deal with that. And now she's like, she gave herself the mental energy to deal with the hazing for that one afternoon But now she can't handle it anymore. So it starts it starts to slowly seek the seat back in with this whole scene because They're going to do cryo and she's like do I have to take up my wedding ring? Um my engagement ring. Oh my god. Good. I don't want to get off. It's like okay. We got it. You're engaged You're not the first one in this world, okay?

No kidding. Please leave it on and just lose your finger. You fucking dope. So they all did your mother buy you a new finger? So they all go into cryo and then afterwards they're just like relaxing and these relaxation thingies that are like squeezing their legs. Or the Reese is like frozen or her half aboard. You have to take off the hubble board. frozen or her hoverboard. She's like, you have to take off the hoverboard. She's like making jokes like Mr. Freeze and Batman and Mr. Freeze is like, even I'm cringing at your joke, Shasha, and my jokes are terrible.

And I love that Shasha, you know, Shasha is a asshole, but I still like her. And she comes out of that cryo tank like me. She's sweating. You're the only person comes out of that crowd tank like me. She's sweating. Like, you're the only person that's the thing that they put in the crowd tank and you come out sweating. Like, how does that even work? Yeah.

So they're all hanging out. They're shading Jazeal for the ruffles on her little outfit, which is what we mentioned last week. Like, you have ruffles on your workout outfit. And they're like, she even bothered to put that on Instagram. Like, she was proud of it, you know? So now they're talking about Jacelle and, you know,

the shade that she threw up talking about, like if Candice's mom paid for everything, which I think as Jacelle shade goes, it's like not that bad, especially because Candice really put it out there and is sort of like, mate is making it like, part of her hallmark, like talking about her mom so much and her mom pays for this or that

So they're talking about that Talking about how how just L. Was shady and then they start talking about her Her engagement ring. Well, they're talking about Chris like Chris must be making some money because he paid for that engagement ring So then Teresa goes well kind of yeah, oh, what you say? No, you clarify. Oh, no I was just gonna say cuz she was saying oh, I can take the shade no problem These girls give me a little shade But I just don't feel like I should be judged and she's like well in all fairness You did say your mom does that for you so it's a legit question to ask if she paid for everything

You know because not if there's not as many involved mothers like you're at your age How old are you how old are you? How old are you? Which I love that the age Jamie goes both ways on this show. The old, it's like classic housewives that the young ones are like, you old tramp. Yeah. And then the old ones are like, you little baby final. I look at you and I see final fluid injections. It was very gratifying on all counts.

So then they're asking, like, okay, well, Chris must have some money because he got you that ring. And so then Sharice goes, as a joke, she goes, did your mom buy you that engagement ring too? Is that a joke? Is that a pun? Is that a pun? Is that a pun? Is that a pun? Well, that a pun. And can be asked is like, do I have to try me my forehead? And Candace goes, so Candace starts giving it back to Sherees now, because Sherees, you know, is there to represent the old lady gang? Yeah. And she is just keeping the shade alive. Sherees, this is nice for Sherees, because she's been just downright evil in the past. So at least she's starting kind of innocent, I'm not innocently, but she's been being for real. She's been classic. She's that she starts off saying some little comments, whatever. And then when she gets

clock, she gets all indignant. I never said that like that. What a little girl, you know, yeah. So Candice decides to start giving it back. So she's like, so what about you? You're unmarried and Jesus like Devois painful the fourth and she oh, I'm sorry. That's not fun That's not fun like being engaged is I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sure it was amicable, right? I'm sorry Did you wear did you wear gloves over that non-existent ring anyway just in case?

I'm sure that maybe you guys just drifted apart naturally. Oh no, he just sort of like left you and found another woman. Oh, I'm sorry. And Cherice of course can't take it the second. Oh my God are you still there? Yeah, I'm here. My monitor got unplugged, but as long as you're still there, it's okay. Um, monitor. Yeah, the dealers have been sitting under my desk, like that's his little house, and I think he was trying to make the cords more comfortable for himself. And so he kind of pulled out my computer monitor cords and that's really loose. That didn't worry. I have notes back up. Believe it or not, guys, see, baby steps, I'm learning learning so Sharice cannot take it herself right so the second it turns to her Dvoris she goes so

Michael what about Michael and ask you like well, it sucks, you know It's kind of sucking so with Michael back. I planted retreat at the Neiman colon and I love that she vacations with her husband It's someplace called colon. I mean that's just like such a Michael place to vacation. All right, we're gonna go out into a big old colon and we're gonna explore in there. It takes some photos of yourself and send them to the colon and see what you find. I hear they got cute little hats on the billboards there, huh? So instead of she's like, yeah, I got, I think there's something there's some like weird moment, which is like, yeah, I got one for seven of us.

Yeah, seven and the people like wait, there are seven of us. Oh, that's right. There's seven of us. Yeah, there's seven of us now because I forgot by Candice, whatever. Yeah, seven of us now. And then the scene ends. Did you catch this? The close up of Sharice looking sad.

Like it's like you are no longer part of the course. Six Sharice. You've been demoted to friend of. Yes. And she tried to, she tried to like make it. like it's like you are no longer part of the course. Six Sherees. You've been demoted to friend of. Yes. And she tried to, she tried to like make it the other six because she goes, I was going to say that's only thick of us. And Candy's like, seven now, honey, get used to it.

And then it's just a Shere stink I think in the bathroom. Sherees. Yeah. What did I call her? Shere. Shere. I mean, Shere was probably giving somebody to. Yeah. Like who am I today? Yes, Shrey

Yeah, no that that Shrees being like pushed out of the chorus six She's like the the seventh tag-long friend of Solarios, but do you think they even tell them at the beginning or do you think that they make her like a friend of after it's all shot? Because she's in every episode. It's not she's not like a typical friend of she's in every scene in every episode and she's causing a lot of shit So she's very much like you know like when Countess Duane was a friend of which is shocking to think she was ever a friend of But when when Countess Duane was a friend of it was, you know, she was in almost every single episode. And I think maybe I would not be a surprise of she's just like, I don't want, I'm going to divorce and I just don't want to air my personal

shit on the show. So I think that she's there and she's almost an active cast member, but she's just, she's not going to film her own life, you know. Yeah, she's like, I can't afford to give another womb done for the storyline. Yeah. Like the champagne room tapped her out. Did you mean to take a commercial break right now? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Um, so anyway, so now it's like little pops of what everyone's doing around town. You got Candice and Chris, they're and Chris, they're looking for wasps in an umbrella, which I thought was a really good metaphor,

you know. That's such a white thing to do. Literally chasing wasps. So, Jacelle over at Jacelle's house, she's like, look, Jacelle, girlfriend has a lot going on. Like, why are you talking like that? It's like Jacelle. Jacelle's just talking differently in every seat,

now trying our different personalities and are terrible. Yeah, she's a FaceTime fisherman and he's driving. And so like the, the, the, the, the phones like face like facing the ceiling. She's like what am I looking? Yeah, I want to see a pretty face. I want to see a pretty face. I'm like he is driving. Okay I know She's like he just doesn't communicate And I have too much on my plate to be with a man who isn't communicating I'm like, maybe he's afraid that you're gonna fall into a well

I mean you're holding your camera above your head You know there's there's's something about holding the camera at a good angle for yourself and looking like the girl who fell down in a well. You know, fell down a well. It's, she looked like she was patty-lipone climaxing with Don't Cry From Your Arched Genie. Like that hand was fully up and out.

It was like, don't cry for me, shaman. And it was like It's like For me Pay for love so I'm in Tina So next up we go over to Michael and Ashley and they're on bikes in some park and he's like it's it's wad enough for you Meaning the road and she gets that's what she said And he's like no she would say tight. I'm like, why would she say tight? Yeah, it's, it doesn't make any sense.

She's talking about you. He is the worst thing ever. And that's where she, yeah, he's terrible. Like, like riding these bikes, it's like, it's like riding you when I put my penis in your vagina, am I right? And you in do? I know, it's like perfectly classy.

They're like, okay, let's make a bunch of fucking jokes. And then talk about my mom Yeah, yeah, so they have some like some hilarious romantic pattern where she's like I don't want to bike too much because I don't want to lose my booties like well This can take a lot of biking. There's a lot of plump there. I was like oh My god, you're lucky. You're not married to a white lady because I would have knocked his block off if he said that to me Oh my god, you're lucky you're not married to a white lady because I would have knocked his block off if he said that to me. I dare you, sir. Pump in the rump. So the rump?

Pump is still skin. All right, now stage your plumpnik. So basically, so they start talking about the mom situation again and how she's going to be weaning her mom off of Michael support and of course he's not happy with it. Yeah, what are the consequences? And she's like, wow, I tell there may be someday, maybe we'll give her this many. And he's like, those aren't consequences. She's like, okay, I told her we'd give her more money. It's not a consequence. Oh, what am I supposed to do my cut cut her off? Yeah, supporting her if her own fucking husband won't get a damn job. Yeah, why why is everybody else supposed to take care of his lazy ass? I agree. I agree. I actually think the compromise that they should strike is

Actually the Karen you group method, which is okay fine Let's have two separate bank accounts and you can support your mom and I'm not going to which is kind of like a dick thing to do But maybe that will teach Ashley like how much like truly make her appreciate how much money her her mom is costing You know given that she has this shitty shitty husband, you know for boyfriend. Yeah Oh my god, it's frustrating to watch and it's also weird weird that they're making this like the pilot episode or the first episode of the season. Have you noticed? Because every scene they're reintroducing themselves.

Just like, this lady is very busy. I have this job and that job. And Karen's like, oh, I'm going to have a fragrance this year. And Monique's like, here's a list of all my jobs. You know, and she's like, I'm fathah. I'm fathah. Have a boar, is that a problem? It's like, we don't need to start this over, guys. Yeah, so over and around.

I do find, by the way, I am fairly fascinated by this Ashley Michael situation, because I think it's a really interesting dilemma, because it's, you know, she actually should cut off her mom because her mom is with this low life, but it's also her mom. And I actually find it to be very compelling to the story. And every time it comes up, I actually get very absorbed into this into the scene, even

though it's with Michael who I cannot stand. Well, it's I think what makes it more and most interesting for me is that her mom works your ass off. So it would make it a much simpler thing if her mom was just living off of her not working, you know, yeah and Supporting a guy, but her mom is working her ass off too So it's not like you could just say work harder mom, you know, she's working her ass off But they're still having to supplement. I mean what kind of job does she have that they're having to supplement that much money? Because she works like a nursing home or something or I think that's what it is

But didn't they mention the amounts of money that she's spending? Isn't she giving her like, I was reading it in comments on Facebook and I don't remember hearing an amount on the show, but it sounded like they were saying it's like four grand or something. I also wonder if, you know, they got the mom a house and now, like, maybe the mom can't pay for the house on her own. Like maybe they cornered the, they kind of got the mom can't pay for the house on her own like maybe they cornered the they kind of got the mom into a situation that wasn't so great who knows

um but what was also interesting is that this situation is revealing all sorts of interesting layers to this relationship because you know he's like I think you have to cut a wolf cut a wolf and she's saying I know we're gonna wean her off of this and I got to under control and the fact that you don't believe me, that you don't have faith in me means that we have deeper issues than we even realize, which I thought was also fascinating. You know, it's just like, uh... No, he doesn't trust you because you say you're gonna do one thing and then you don't do it.

Yeah. You guys already told your mother she didn't get rid of this guy, she was gonna be cut off, you still haven't gone through with it. And I understand why it would be hard for her, you know, but yeah, she is listening, she's trying to turn it around like, there's deeper problems.

No, it's a pretty simple problem. You said you would cut her ass off and she said that she would get rid of the guy and nobody's doing anything that they're saying. And, you know, no, I think it's actually of the guy and nobody's doing anything that they're saying and you know. No, I think it's actually both things. I think it's exactly what you're saying and there is a deeper problem because I think that if my boyfriend, if we were in this situation, then he said, you know, like, trust me, I'm

going to handle this. I would be like, okay, I trust you. You're like, it's either we should cut off, but like you can I trust that you can do it and The fact that he doesn't even trust her that is a problem and that's what I thought was like fascinating I was like that's like I was like shit. This is like there's like my new problem out of it It's not a new problem. Well, they shouldn't have gotten back together in the first place. That's if you ask me what you haven't Ronnie What do you think?

Should they or shouldn't they? Thank you. Yeah, well, don't worry. I'm sure we're going to be able to talk about this for multiple hours more because this is not going to go away anytime soon. It's like every seat is like, let's talk about how much would give in your mother and S in other news. Robin.

I knew that. Can you get that case from upstairs? Thanks. She's like, oh my my god one got me new shoes Yeah, one that they're the only acting like they struck gold I mean, I don't know how expensive those shoes are on who cares? But like but like he comes he's like hey, I got you some sneakers and she's like whoa We're living the high life now. There's so much less stress on us. I was like, I was like, you just got, like he just got his job.

And you haven't even flipped your house yet. Yes. And now she's talking about how she's flipping properties. Has she talked about that before? I think she alluded to it, but now she's about flipping properties, which is, you know, famously such a reliable income stream. She's negotiating. And she has that my dad was a house flipper for a very long time. He still does it sometimes. And I used to

to do the houses like to learn how to do it. I did a couple with them. And that is so hard. And to make money is so hard, especially with foreclosures, because you can't just like walk through the house. You can't be like, oh, hey, I'm going to have an inspector come over and do all this stuff. You just you take it as is. So sometimes you'll get these places and the foundation's cracked and it's like, boom, now it's going to cost you money instead of making money. You know, it's like horrible. And she's like, well, if we do it right, we could make like 80 to a hundred. And I'm like, no, that doesn't sound right. And then it cuts to her. And the guy's like, maybe 72,000.

I'm like, Robin, Robin, Robin. She has a way of guesstimating up. I just am like, I'm like, it's you just got out of your tiny place and you went to just place this a little bit larger, just like relax a little bit, like just save some money, just save your money a little bit, you know? Like this, because house will be,

it is long and it is hard and it is not as simple as torque makes a look on flipper flop. Yes, and also notice she's doing it with her mom, which means it's like a double investment. So I'm like, how much is she gonna be making fun of candy about getting money from her mom? Exit, well, on top of that, though, it also means you're not gonna be taking in as much money

because you're splitting it, or you're giving away some. Tell me about it. I know and speaking of interior decor I just have to say I don't know if you saw trading spaces this weekend yet But it was so like off-the-walls bonkers in terms of like what hildi sentos Thomas was was getting involved like what she did I was like I cannot believe I'm watching this on television. This is so Like what she did, I was like, I cannot believe I'm watching this on television. This is so hideous. It's actually brilliant.

I can't. That's a girl. Yeah, you will crack up when you see it. You will die. I've got a bunch saved up. I'm going to watch them on the plane tomorrow. Oh my god. I can't wait.

I think we're in the same place. I just couldn't go from, you were texting me about it last night. And I could not go from Westworld's a trading space. It's kind of the same thing. It's too jarring. Yeah, Paige Davis. She's like, look, today I'm in India. It's like they just changed the bot. Yeah, changed her out. So anyway, so Monique and Candy, this episode is a lot about shopping. Yeah, shopping. Monique, Ash in Candace are shopping for bathing suits. Yes. And basically everyone's shopping but Ash in which is weird.

And I was like, oh, poor thing, because you're giving all your money to your mother, Ash in like, man, I want this guy. I'll just watch you guys. So this is where they're basically telling Candace, you better go after these women who are making fun of you. Because this is bullshit and they will never stop it if you don't say something, you know. Right. Exactly.

Because Candace is still, she's still like a little upset that Sherry's asked if, if her mom bought the ring and so she's sort of like, she's sort of stewing on it and these girls are just faying the flames. Like, you should say something. You should say something. When someone does that, like, if you don't say something, she's going of stewing on it and these girls just fan the flames like you should say something you should say something when someone does that like if you don't say something she's gonna trample all over you or technically roll over you she's got a hoverboard you know lay down more no lay down more look I fell out okay lay down more I'm just gonna start on you with that okay so then Candice starts talking about wedding planning and she's just like crying about the wedding dress

and she's like, you know, you don't think about weddings being stressful because of other people. You think it's stressful because of yourself but not other people. I'm like, bitch, have you ever even heard of a wedding? Do you even know what a wedding is about? Have you do know that it's like, have you ever even seen like one segment of anything on TLC?

Yeah, the poor poor thing. She's kind of a dodo bird, but she's she's young enough that I feel like her mom. So it's hard for me to like beat you me to canvas. Even though she said the lot or something. Oh, no, I will never buy her anything. Just like every other person who's wedding I go to. Just kidding, guys. Just kidding. Seriously, don't invite me. I do owe some people some gifts. So let's see.

So she starts crying, because Ashley's like, well, I guess I'll ask you about your wedding since I haven't heard that much about it yet. And Candace is like, well, no, my mom, I'm sorry to cry. I've cried so much that she's it yet. And Candice is like, well, you know, my mom, I'm sorry to cry. I've cried so much. It's just wedding. It's just, oh my God, it's so stressful. I'll be 60. And she'll still be like, you can do this. You can't do that. You look too fat in that dress. I'm like, it's called having a mother. We all have them. Okay. Well, the lucky ones of us, you know, sorry to people who don't. But yeah, I have. Yeah, it's called having a mother mother I'm gonna let you just hang with that. Well, it's not like my mother's gonna just just totally heal by the time I'm 60

I just feel like Candace is one of those people who goes through very Common experiences and think she's the first one like oh my god like she's gonna be the one that's be putting the baby pictures on Facebook next to pebbles that say one month like oh my god can I believe it one month guys questions on my friends I'm sorry this is TMI but like what do you guys do with baby poop it's like it's called get a diaper and don't share it on Facebook link none of us care okay people have been having babies for like thousands like you know what since the very beginning literally the beginning of mankind like so be one of those ladies Who puts up a picture for baby having a confused face and then say like who who smushed my banana?

Like a good one. Yeah, it'll be just like every single thing. I'll be like oh my god my wedding day I just I can't believe it. I see this like we got a cake. We got a wedding cake. I know it's crazy, right? So be like at last my love has come along Yeah, geez She's gonna do a flash you know she's gonna do a flash mob with with her wedding and some sort of annoying thing We're gonna do a dance until like Justin Timberlake on the dance floor or Bruno Mars and record it and they'll be a drone flying overhead A drone Chris will be flying it. I mean, pay attention.

They're getting married. It's such a white guy thing to do. So next we go to Monique. We go to Ashley Keef's later. Yes, Ashley gets a text. She's like, oh, damn, Monique got in an accident. And we see the text and Monique's like, I fell asleep on the road and almost hit a big tree It's like I hit a little tree and I almost hit a big tree woke me up before I hit a big tree

Yeah, yeah, and so it's like the music's dramatic We see a flat tire on the Bentley and Monika is at home It's like the next day and she's on a roll a foam roller and Chris has her by the legs like all right I'm going to roll you can you feel this on your back that is where it's supposed to be working I'm going to pick you up by the feet and swing you over my head like a terrible towel whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and she said well after, we went to lunch, and then we had a couple of drinks, and then I was,

you know, behind the wheel of the car, and I just had a long blink. It was just a long blink. I was just really tired. Yeah, I hit a small tree, and that worked me out before the big tree, and I'm like, did you just confess to a DUI on camera? What is wrong with you?

This is the only thing that has ever been like, that is, like, I could not believe it. I could not believe the words coming. I was just tired. I had a long blur. This is almost as bad as Jojo Dice being saying, he crashes car and was so shaken up by it that he went into his father-in-law's house and did five shots of Jack just to calm down.

Yeah, I mean it's just really bad. Like social services could be showing up at your fucking door any second, you idiot. What is wrong with you? Yeah, I mean who? Who says that? I was mortified. I was like, oh my god. Do I have to teach this woman everything? I mean, it was like one of those I felt like I was watching it. I was like Did anyone else just hear what she just said like she was drunk? She went she had some drinks and then she was so tired. She's so exhausted from doing all these things like She's drunk. She's drunk. Yeah, they don't even call it. They don't even call it uh Like drunk driving anymore now. It's just called driving under the influence because you don't, they've lowered the drinking,

this is what I was thinking when I first watched it. They've lowered the drinking minimum over the years. It's like a glass and a half of wine. Like it is really, really easy to get a DUI. But did you know that even if you don't, even if you register alcohol, but don't register over the limit, you can still get in trouble

because you're under the influence in any way. I mean, it's like the time of Uber, okay. If you're drunk, if you are drinking and you are like, well, I thought I was okay to drive them, not and you pull over and you just lie down, go to sleep, you can get a DUI even being stationary because you can't be in that car. Like, you have to actually leave the car, you have to leave your car sleep, you can get a DUI even being stationary because you can't be in that car. Like you have to actually leave the car,

you have to leave the car behind because you can get busted. You know, it's, people don't actually realize how easy and serious it is to get a DUI because it used to be, when I got my license, it was a people who had 0.10. But now I think it's down to 0.08. And people don't realize like, if you're buzzed,

if you're just like, oh, I had like two drinks, I'm a little buzzed, you're in, you're in DUI territory right there. And I think it's very scary. It's so scary. It's so scary. And I'm not even lecturing. It's scary. You're responsible, you know, I'm not even lecturing about that because I don't want to be

like a total hypocrite. My thing is like, how stupid are you that you go on national TV? Yeah, and basically confess to a crime stupid. Yeah, so Ashley comes over and she's like, I mean, I hope you're okay girl. And she's like, well, you know, I have a job. I'm starting a charity. I'm making tea for people with coals. I have children. I don't have a nanny. I don't have time to train in it. It's like you've already done this. Now she's just doing a review. Yeah. I've rolled my hair back while I've vomited behind a tree. I mean, this sounds like going on here. You know, the funniest thing happened. I went to get a week rash shot and actually did like five tequila shots.

I drove off and I just got so tired. Mm-hmm. So, yes, so they all get onto this party bus in Monique's driveway to go off to the wherever they're going and They're all waiting for Robin and stuff and so Monique is telling this story and I like Juselle just like cuts right to it because Juselle I was afraid that this was gonna go unacknowledged and just so as Monique's telling the story about how she crashed her car and everything and and Just I'll just go say y'all was drinking y'all drinking and and Monika's I mean I had two martinis but I wasn't drunk hello martinis are straight alcohol to martini martinis are nothing but alcohol like oh my God. I was like, he's just being quiet.

Please just be quiet. And I like that when Chris is walking her out to the bus, he's like, no, don't be drinking. I hope you're not going to be drinking too much. She's like, oh, I'm not going to do that. He's like, oh my God, you people, you're killing me, right? You're killing me, small.

Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah. Of course, just sell. Just sell is like blood in the water. Like she is, if she sees anything happening, she is going to, like just lay under the bus, just lay under there, because you are about to get it. You're about to get thrown under there anyway. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I actually was shocked. I was like, this, I don't know if this one realizes, like, two martini, martini's always rock me, you know? That's why if I'm gonna be like, okay, it's gonna be a fun night. I will start with one or two Marci needs, but like after that, I have to stop. And I always think whenever I have two Marci needs, I'm always like, how did those guys do it in the 60s

in Mad Men or where they have their two Marci need lunches? They must have just come back, the office shift phase, which is what they probably do. I do, and that's the whole show is them being being shit faced and ruining their lives and the lives around them. And you know, that whole show can be summed up with like alcoholism. We just didn't know back then. Because Monika is small.

Monika is small, okay, there is no way she has two martinis and is like not drunk. I'm sorry, not even over two hours. I think like, if you have one martini in an hour, I think if I have a martini, I would give honestly give myself 90 minutes over two hours. I think like if you have one martini in an hour I think if I have a martini I would give honestly give myself 90 minutes to two hours before I drive Because you know supposed to be like a drink per hour nuts technically, but I think a martini Yeah, girl, so they give her a little break while Ashley's like well This is I'm so glad we're going to the colon place Michael Stojeleus

But you know reminds me of Michael and I was a kid because I would go hang out with my grandma and grandpa and we just had a trailer near the in acres and just how goes. So a trailer park. She's like, yeah, it was a trailer. Oh, so this is your second or third house after the trailer park. No shade. I'm just trying to understand. I'm like, how is that not shady, Gisele? Yeah. I stopped acting like before this year. You've ever made five goddamn dollars for yourself and haven't been living off to somebody else.

And that you have 19 other mansions. She is so evil. Like, who makes fun of somebody for growing up poor? That is disgusting. We probably would actually. Yeah, that's true. That's us. So well, but I have the common sense to hate myself. It's like Erica says on real housewives of Beverly Hills, and I can't believe I'm quoting Erica, but one of my favorite Erica quotes is when she's like, I'm mature enough

to know that I'm an asshole. Yeah, like, well, I actually don't think we would ever make fun of someone for for growing up in a trailer park. We ever make fun of someone for growing up in a trailer park We would make fun of someone for growing up in a trailer park and acting like they grew up in Windsor castle like Kim Zolsey Okay, yeah, that's where we would make fun of someone But you know, we don't like inherently make fun of someone who grew up in a trailer park because Like who the fuck cares? Yeah, and I love yeah, I mean I was you know Yeah, no, we all come like yeah. So anyways and garbage bags. So, um, uh, which is literally what I just said, that like, as if like, that's what trailer parks are. Like, I was, uh, you know, I literally came out of a trash can at prom.

Like, I just, I found a big, a big Jew in there. Charleston, big Jew. And I just happened to fight life. I, I managed, I managed to hang on. Okay. Someone found, did you say a big Jew or a big Jew? The Charleston, Big Jue, and I just happened to find life. I managed to hang on. Okay, someone found... Did you say a big Jue or a big Jue? The Charleston, Big Jue.

Oh, I think that I found a big Jue, and I was like, good for you. Good for you. Darling, I wouldn't be living in a trailer park if I... I think that's... My people are very charitable. Ashley doesn't fall for it. She's like, yeah, we did drop in a trailer park like she doesn't get mad or anything. Yeah. So it just sells like, oh, so this is

your third house after a trailer park. And Monika's man, she's obsessed with homes. Maybe she should buy one or two or three or four or five. I only drink, I only drink I only drink as many March and uses I have houses five So I also like that when Ashley talks about this getaway. She's saying yeah It's be great. There's gonna be zip lining and fly fishing, etc. And they just cut to rob and be like I'm like Robin. It's a free weekend. Okay. All right. Don't act like don't act like you aren't living in the wilderness already up there in Hanover, Maryland. I know this entire episode Robin just wears her like pre-Sneaker's face, like before one dog or sneakers and changed her life.

Her mouth is open the whole episode and she's just like, so then they start now it gets, it starts to get real fun because now of course they start to rehash the wedding ring comment that Sheree's made And can't this is like it was a shady bitch moment Which by the way like saying that that's like shade with a little bit of edge to it But it's not the worst thing in the world say because she said it was a shady bitch moment So of course and I think everyone just sort of laughs and Sasha's like wait a second Fady bitch moment

Fanny bit Fanny bit I was like, wait a second. Fadee bitch moment, Fannie Bits. Fannie Bits. So give a third to me at the Bits. I'm like, oh God, here we go. It's like the moment, it's a shady bitch moment. You're referring to me at the Bits, it's me plus the hoverboard or just me. So yeah, it's like, yes, and I second that.

Okay, so sue me. So then we cut to commercial, because it's like this big fight on a bus that Sharice is gonna, you know Make a huge deal out of because she's trying to keep her damn job to keep her champagne room So then we cut to commercial I'm not to say Two things one Andy has decided he's gonna stop like wandering around in his promos for what happens Someone was finally like you need to stay still. Because you look like a little boy like staring at lights.

So now he's almost doing the splits. His feet are so wide apart. They're like, just plant yourself, Andy. He's like, okay, are you doing the splits? Okay, and then this Candice Bergen movie for Book Club K ad comes on. I have to see that. I kind of need this movie's coming out.

I wanna see this immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah 100% that movie is made for us. It's a bunch of older ladies who read the 50 shades of gray the 50 shades of gray movies and decide to have sex times again I cannot wait yeah no I I'm just there for a can does Bergen I'm like I'm gonna wear a big yellow blazer and pretend I'm on Murphy Brown. Yeah. Which is also coming back by the way. I can't. So, yeah, so now when we come back,

so I don't remember where the commercial break was in the middle of this fight, but all I know is that now Candace is getting worked up. And so, Shasha does this thing that I hate when people do, but she does her own Shasha Spinach, because, lowering your voice, honey, I'm right here. I'm right here, honey. Knowing your voice.

Knowing your voice. She starts talking down to everybody. She's so serene. She's such an asshole. She's so serene. Oh my God. And over the years, I've just gotten used to her. So I'm really glad she's here,

because I thought she was just gonna be completely fired. Yeah. Cause she's horrible, man. And so, and Jazeal, and Jacelle doesn't understand what she's like. Jacelle's like, wow, all I know is that Candace is being annoying and disrespectful to Jacelle. And I don't even get to it. Why?

I'm like, why? Because Monique Basley told her, yell at Jacelle. And you're the one who's yelled at Jacelle the most, okay, Jacelle? You get it. You know why people yell at Jace at Shariz because she's the worst. Remember when she had a feud that went in entire season because you went upstairs during the time you volunteered to cook her crabs? Yes, she's like if you're gonna go after anyone not it should not be the woman not who brought us all together

Rock. I'm like you your fight started this whole show. What are you talking about? You were fighting five minutes ago. It's terrible. So Ashley's like, well, it looked like she's taking her advice, but I thought she would go for Jaze. Not Sherees. And then Sherees is using typical Sherees tactics, which is like, um, you're a child, honey. You're a child. You're a baby, baby. I don't fight with kids.

And kids are like, what kids? You know, I'm like, ooh, good come back, Cherie. Yes, Cherie and Canvas is like, well, I'm not going to fight with some old-ass woman, either. And she's like, I'm just going bad to the present, not in the past. This fight made this sense. Okay, me too.

It's going to be quiet. She goes, don't put your finger in my face, which her finger was not in her face And then she starts waving her finger in her hand and she's like my hand is not on your face You would feel it if my hand was on your face I'm like her probably feels the heat coming off your sweaty ass hands from where she's sitting move your hand back Ma'am and then Karen what when when Shreece says if my hand was in your face, you'd feel it, Karen just gaffaws at Robin. Like, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.

She's like, because she basically is like, paraphrase Robin's line from last season. This is my finger in your face. This is my finger in his, thank Candace. I actually love Candace's response. She goes, Jerry, actually, Granny, don't talk to me either. Jerry, I'm glad you fixed that because in my notes, it says, Jerry, I'm not. I'm because in my notes it says geriatric brandy. I'm like

Yeah, cuz they were going back and forth of like oh, you're calling me a child I don't play with the old woman. It's like well, you're kind of look like a child Well, you kind of look like an old woman geriatric granny So classic so good so I actually like to see in Candace pop off because she was pretty good at it like it Like she's all been sweet and nice, but she was like she was she was kind of destroying Sherees at dark because all Sherees was doing like Yeah, yeah, keep your voice down. I can't hear you. You look like a child. You look like a child Yeah, she's 30 I'm jealous. I know your ass is jealous Yeah, so they finally so so finally they break it up,

a little bit, as she breaks it up, and they arrive at the place, and Manique's like, oh look, look, the wine bottle is almost empty. I guess we've all been drinking. They're like, no, it's you, Manique. You drank that entire bottle of wine. Yes, and she sells, I had like an inch. Yeah, and she goes, I had like an inch. Yeah, and she goes I personally love the drunk

mummy It's concerning girl just wrecked her car. She needs a red wine time out. Yeah, so they arrived at Neymakolan and Karen's like stunning. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous stunning stunning. I'm the guys are in Boller hats and someone's like I like your hats. Oh, you're cute. It's like oh my god. Keep it in your pants edge Yes, Shoke surf stunning. It's perfect. Has anyone tried my fragrance also stunning I'd like to have a press conference where we discuss how stunning and gorgeous new a colon is Stunning next time you're out here. Could you bring your umbrella? umbrella

Ella Next time you're out here, could you bring your umbrella? So umbrella, ella, ella, ella. She's like, you're cute. And then Jizo walks past the two guys. And she's like, hi, Sam. Hi, Dave. They did have like funny little bowler caps on. It didn't really make sense. It was like a little bit like clockwork orange.

I was like, is this going to go to a bad place? Clocks, oranges. I see it now. Put it under the umbrella, boys. You want some milk. So now the girls transition into Rolls Royces to go to there. So I guess it's like a giant sprawling estate, because they're in the main lodge.

And then they get in the Rolls Royces to go to there, wherever they can be staying on the property. So they're in different Rolls Royces. Monique is just totally drunk at this point. Like she's like ready to like shove the show for out of the way and get behind the wheel. She's like I'm fine. So I'm fine. And then they're getting into their car and Candy asks is like well my husband is white. So I'm gonna take the white car. Oh god shut up. Yeah. She's like really shut up. So Karen and Jacelle are at another car with who? Shoshka. Were they with Karen? Jacelle.

The older ladies, they're like, Candice needs to apologize to you, Shoshka. Candice needs to apologize. Yes. And Jacelle's like, um, well actually, I like her better drunk. Because they're talking. I was like, I think we have trouble with Miss Drunky Skunky. Jacelle's like, well, I like her better drunk. Cah. Because they're talking to Karen's like, I think we have trouble with Miss Drunky Skunky. She's like, well, I like her better drunk. Cah. And Karen's like, well, what do we think of Miss Candy-ass? And she's like, she needs to apologize.

And then, and the other car, Canvas is like, why in husband, not a little girl, not hands in your face? What, he's just stressful. And Monika's trying to steer the hate. She's like, but she's not the one who referred to you as a little girl. She's elated at first. And she's like, oh, she's going to get it too.

That you worry. And Robin in the front seat rolls her eyes with her mouth still wide open. It's like Robin thinks for coming. Yeah, exactly. Really adding a lot to this experience. So then Ashley is like, I have to be, which is you were just in like a giant building, you know, like how far, like we're, like can't you wait another two minutes to arrive at the place? So she pees in the woods, very Bethany Frankl-esque.

And then they all arrive at this house where Karen again is like, stunning, stunning, gorgeous, gorgeous, perfect for the wife of black bill gates gorgeous ray ray If you weren't protecting me right now, I wish you would just come over here and see how beautiful this was Did everyone just hear the wonderful advice Ray didn't give me I'm protected Turned on so your fragrance based in this house. It's called house It's called table with benches. Let's sit on it. So they're all sitting down for their first meal together. And Ashley's like, well, guys, I know that there's thick air between us.

That's. Yeah, she's like, you sound like they're like vacationing in Japan together. And like downtown. And you know, they're robbing that one. That's what she was talking about. like downtown. You know that Robin, that one, that's what she was talking about. Sorry, that was me. Because I knew that someone had onions and garlic this morning. And candy, just like, well, I think that candy is sour, it's a rice and a polo, too, y'all.

And so this is when she's like, if you're going to mess with anyone, tell me this is your brief. She is central to this group. I'm like so central. She's a friend of. Yeah, she's like literally not central. And Canvas is like, well, I think you owe me an apology. And she's like, I was just being light and airy.

And like, if you had a problem when I said that, then you should have addressed it when I said it. What point is putting a letter in the mailbox without the address? People get it and they're like, who sent me this? I don't even know who you are, girl. I feel like people go to that well a lot, which is like, well, if you had a problem,

you should have said something instead of just let it linger. And I feel like, yes, I think theoretically, that is true, you should say something at the moment. But there are people like me who need to process and can't just access that part of their personality where they can just snap back right away, because sometimes you think like, oh, I don't wanna make this moment feel awkward,

this is a nice moment, I don't wanna ruin it. Or, oh, wow, I didn't realize how I felt about that until just now, like there are people who process things And so, I feel like this whole idea of like, oh, well, you said that something at the time. I mean, that's saying something now. I'm like, you know what? She actually did bring it up on the bus pretty normally, and you're the one who actually got hostile with her.

And she was bringing up with a slight, with a little bit of an edge, but what you initially said was with an edge, so she served serving it back to you. And you're the one who was like, who is this little girl? Is that upon who this girl? Oh, poor lonely Sharice,

I feel like she doesn't know how to argue, so she just starts quoting Lawn Order. She was like, that's the limitate them. It's over. You told her to tell me that that long time ago. Rather than the evidence. And didn't they actually, someone did say that here. Someone's, oh, Robin's like, you were the one, you were the one who started talking about

your mom and your money. And so if you bring it into evidence, then we're allowed to ask you questions. Which I actually agree with. But I just think that Shasha saying that is a little, I don't know. I mean, last time I checked, Shasha didn't seem like she was confronting Eddie on a lot of the issues that she had. And she could just air them on TV instead. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they're just being mean to her and they know they're being mean to her and they

have no arguments and now they're just going to try and argue over stupid things. And meanwhile, Candace, who is in the right, is now just yelling and screaming at everybody because now she's warmed up. So she's just not going to stop screaming and it's funny. And Shree says, like, where did you even come from in the first place? And she's like I came from Jesus. Yeah, well I Was like oh Ron is gonna love this because Candace was fired up at this point You know because because they're coming down on her without like you know, you know

Like her mom paying for stuff and she's like, you know, you judge you judge me for my mom paying for things But you two are kept women you are kept women you are kept women and she's like, you judge me for my mom paying for things, but you two are kept women. You are kept women. You are kept women. And I was like, oh, this is the moment Ron has been waiting for for three seasons. Yes, and of course they're both like, just I was like, I literally don't care.

Like, I don't know why you're acting like I care. Why would I care? I'm like, you're the one who's slamming her and slamming her every two seconds and you answer these. And then she reads, of course, because she can't fight with that. It's just like, where did he even come from in the first place? I'm like casting to replace you, Steven. Yeah.

And Candace is like, listen, I know I talked about this stuff, but like, and it's fine to talk about it that my mom pays for things, but why do you have to shade it, you know? And then Karen goes, Candace, when I spoke to you at the picnic, I did warn you. So, I'm like... You can't go light as cigarette in the airplane bathroom and be mad when the alarm goes off. I warned you, it was gonna happen. Yeah, Karen's like, all right, how about this? Why don't you use each of your food because she's already done eating and I'm ready to take my nap, all right, how about this? Why don't you use each of your food because she's already done eating

and I'm ready to take my nap, all right? You need to thick skin with these women. Let's eat. Tt-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- and Karen, oh yeah Karen's like button it up baby button it up and Jacelle liked to see it below the belt with calling names and Robin's like yeah you did call names remember when you called your geriatric granny lulls such a harsh attack you know yes so just and Jacelle is like that is my friend and if I'm going to tell you to apologize to her then you should I'm like campus is like um, you know what you can just stay seated and just oh goes really yeah

I am in my seat Okay, and as you said stay seated. Yeah, okay, because are you her mother though? Then remain seated remain seated remain seated with your greens your dressing, with your fork and your knife and your spoon and your place mat and your napkin and then the salt and pepper and then also your next dish which is coming because the waiter did not realize you weren't done with your salad yet because you were sitting there not eating your salad and your entree is waiting so we can finish our lunch. So good. She's like really shut the fuck up. And then you can't just like really, you can shut the fuck up. Lose your wig and shut the fuck up. You can't have that. I think I look good.

I think I look good. I think I look good. I'm not sure who Candace is wanting to talk about lose your wig, because Candace is also wearing wigs. So. Candace has a wig company. So it your wig, because Candace is also wearing a wig. So... Candace has a wig company. So it's like, you might not want to be shaming wigs when you run a wig company.

Yeah, and Candace looks like she's wearing a hair roof. Okay, so let's... It's just like comedy. No. Well, I wanted to wear something that was like a napkin in case these rude ladies wanted to wipe their fingers on something. And then the waiter walks in, he's like,

does anyone want some mall back? Some mall back? I actually really liked the way they can just sit up to the woman. I thought she stood up pretty well. She wasn't whiny. Like she's been like sort of like perky and annoying all season, but so far. But you know, this was good to see that when she gets pushed,

she really fights back and I like that. Yeah, she's earning her place. Yeah. Before we wrap up this episode, can we do something that we normally do on Wednesdays, but since we're traveling this week, can we do it today? It's Lister Spotlight. All right, let's do some Lister Spotlight.

Lister Spotlight. Lister Spotlight is when we turn the podcast over to the listeners. and if you support the show on Patreon at the Lister Spotlight level, we let you have, uh, you let you have the floor for about two minutes. So, um, this week we have the lovely and beautiful Jess Deng from Boston, and uh, here we go. Are you ready, Ronnie? Yeah. And here we go. You ready, Ronnie? Yeah. Hi, Ben and Ronnie

This is Justin And I just want to say first off it was so amazing seeing you in Boston back in January You guys are the best and I had such a blast. I went to both shows and Hopefully I can see you again live and congrats on all of your live shows that you've got coming up. So for the listener's spotlight, you guys are asking what our favorite shows

are on Bravo right now. So for me, it's Vanderpump Rules, which I know is a pretty standard answer. But I actually did not get into Vanderpump rules until last season. I never watched it just because I had caught like an episode or two of earlier seasons and I just hated everyone on the show and just did not understand why I was amusing to watch a bunch of 30-year-olds get drunk every day and sleep with each other. However, I now realize the error of

my ways and that is exactly why you want to watch the show. And I also realize that the audience is not supposed to like them and we are supposed to be frustrated with them. Although I have to say I do like Lala and James this season. But anyway, I'm addicted to it and I started watching the past seasons that I missed and my husband saw me watching it and he got quickly addicted and so both of us are binging all of the past seasons. And so it's my favorite show going on right now in real time and in repeats. All right guys, I love you so much and have so much fun at all of your upcoming live shows.

Bye. Love you, girl. Thanks, Jess. I'm glad you had that turn around. Yeah, she's so sweet. I'm glad that Jess had that turn around in perspective. That everything that she was hating the show for, she suddenly realized, no, that's actually

why you should love the show. And it's something that we've all gone through. We've all been there. Oh my gosh. She guarded my plate of food for like two hours. She's great. As I ordered food after the show, and then I just kept talking and talking and running for mayor.

And then she's told I mean she kept it she kept it she's great She has a husband too and he likes playing board games So it's like really she's really living the life and you know, we are going we don't know when it's gonna be because we We saw many things to work out, but we definitely will we'll take our show back to Boston That is for sure Boston was great to us So that is going to become a regular stop for crap and don't you worry. We will be back. We'll be back. Oh heck yeah Yeah, absolutely

So anyway, this is a fun super fun episode. Tomic is so good. Tomic is so good this season I'm so glad it's found it's it's found its voice. I hope that the ratings reflect that. I love when a show finally gels. It really means a lot to me. Thank you for all you got about the bra. Thank you bra. Thank you. We deserve it. We deserve it. I'm so that wraps us up. We will be doing Vanderprung rules in two parts this week for our live shows. So those will not be out in the normal time. They will not be coming out tomorrow. So if you need something tomorrow or today, if this is Tuesday for you, go over to Patreon and listen to our bonus episode. It's all about going to see the counts of slew ahead with a bunch of our friends.

And then we will be back Wednesday and Thursday. Well, God, we have Beverly Hills. We have Pomp, but there's just a ton of shows this week. Yeah, we'll, yeah, for those who are eager for the band of pump rules Covets just be a little patient that's gonna come out either Wednesday night or Thursday morning, so yeah, but it will be there It will be thanks everybody. We sure love ya. Bye everyone Hey prime members You can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today

you can listen to WatcherCrapins ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.