Watch What Crappens - Shahs: Bath Bomb

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

MJ celebrates her Bridal Bath in this week's Married to Medicine, but will she want to drown her fiancé in it? This week's bonus episode is about Game of Thrones and what books we're reading. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited HEY BETCH tees through September at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Denver, NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Shivoni, she don't take no baloney. Christy, wow, where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie going to the Tobin. Anna. God I love that banana. Anderson. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Avadigila Weber. And our super premium Patreon

subscribers. Savannah it's my birthday month, cook-roft. Heligrand, big grandmaster. Give them home, Miss Noel. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappings. A podcast about all that crap we just

love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Karam. I'm also from the Rosebrick's Bachelor, Rose Podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous little co-host, Ben Mandelker. Hello, Bean. Oh, hi, what's up?

How's it going, sweet guy? I am very excited. We're finally getting around to our little Shah's episode, you know, because it wasn't on last week. The week before was MJ's dad's, like, you know, Chivavake, whatever it was. And so it was like, we didn't recap that. So people are like, are you guys covering Shah's? We are covering Shah's.

But before we do that, we are also covering, of course, the importance of selling tickets to our live shows. Y'all, we have to thank you guys again. That was the craziest thing on Friday, when we put our Charleston show on sale and sold out in like 60 seconds. I mean, that's crazy. Even though it's a smaller venue that was insane,

we are working to get a second night up and running. We'll have that news ready to go. But this Friday, we have tickets going on sale for Dallas the Texas theater in February. Those tickets go on sale at 9 a.m. Eastern. So in Texas time, I think that's actually 8 a.m. Make sure you were there when those tickets go on sale because we saw what just happened in Charleston. Those tickets went away in 60 seconds. You'll probably have a little more time with Dallas, but we anticipate a lot of those tickets are going to sell if not sell out. So definitely be ready to go. We'll have the links up on watchcraftens.com later this week once we have them. And in the meantime, we have a show in Denver this Thursday. We

actually still have tickets for that one. You have to come. We're going to talk about Real Housewives of Dallas. We have a great time covering that show live. Everyone who's going to be there is going to crack their asses off. That doesn't make sense. They're going to laugh. I'm going to crack your asses off. You'll laugh your asses off because you will be cracking up. Anyway, come to that.

And then we got shows in New York, Seattle, Nashville for the rest of the year. You got to do it. You got to come, even if you don't watch the shows, you have plenty of time to binge on at least a few episodes, so you get some of the jokes a little bit more, because you'll have a great time regardless. Come solo, we don't care, you'll make friends. It's a great time. Yes, also we have our, yeah, it was great. We also have our new t-shirts up. They say, hey, Batch for Real Housewives of Orange County. Those are it for the rest of the month. Go over to Crappensmerch or watch at Krapins.com where you'll also find ticket links to their shows. Okay, everybody. So before we jump into Shaw's, a sunset, we have to do an emergency session of a very special segment for us. You ready?

Are you happy to choose about me? Yeah. Yeah. It's time to do Clear the Flam. This is a segment where we look at the Instagram feed of Caroline Fleming, who was a star of the, the, the dearly departed ladies of London, one of our favorite shows of all time. And Caroline Fleming has just the most amazing Instagram feed. And she has been posting some stuff that Really must be addressed on this podcast and first and foremost Ronnie

I just pulled up her Instagram account. I realized I see she has changed her Instagram bio And it is the most amazing Instagram bio I have ever read Yeah, I noticed this because I am in the midst of watching Game of Thrones. I mean, I just started season two last night. And this bio is so game of thronesy. Okay, this is what it says. Caroline Fleming, public figure. Born, Bauerness, Caroline, Luel, Brockdoth,

owner of Valdemars, Denmark's largest castle, given by the King to Neil Sulew for the liberation against Sweden. That's her biography. And the website sounds like you can gamble at this castle, which, you know, good for her because they're always trying to find ways to make castles, you know, profitable again. It's www.valdemarslot.dk. We have loose slots at my castle, given to be by my father who liberated the Danish from

the Swedish invasion and prior to that, the mad king of Norway. You don't understand loose pockets until you've stolen Castle from Sweden. It's like it's it's so game of thrones right because one thing that amuses me in game of thrones is that everyone introduces themselves like the most elaborate thing. It's like I am Ben son of Lawrence son of son of Jamal daughter of like married to Felicia, daughter of Mandy. Oh, no, red machine. Yes, wife, owner of red machine.

Purchased in store, near tree, tree of life that gave the water to the ancient realms of Noreen. And you're like, what? Just say your name is Ben. No kidding, I'm from the South, so I'm used to that. It's like, who's your mother? Oh geez. So anyway so let's take a look at these pictures. This one the one that I would like to highlight is Caroline Fleming. She is in a monastery. She's not in a monk. She's in Yangon, she's in Myanmar,

and there's this monastery, and there's all these little children monks, little baby monks. There are a lot of bunch of little adorable rites, and they're also sitting around eating, and she's standing amongst them, and she's wearing a simple dress, and she has her hands clasped against each

other wearing by the way jewelry and a fancy watch so her hands are clasped and she's staring at the children the children monks as they ate their lunch and this is her caption. A new year has dawned on me and a new time in my life also reflecting on time, I yearn to live a life filled with love and kindness more than ever. Yesterday we spent time in the most holy Buddhist temples. Today on my birthday we spent the morning giving lunch and vaccines to monks and orphans, both days touching me to my core. Buddhism is a beautiful life philosophy and I want to learn as much about it as I can so that I can bring it into my home. The happiness of giving to others was the best present I could ever hope for. Thank you, my love, so much for organizing the most special gift I

could have ever wished for. Heart. There's nothing entirely wrong with what you said. It's actually a lot of it was really nice, but just that it's Caroline Fleming, the lady who walks amongst blubberies and strawberries, I know for a couple of just a minute and monks into my life. And she's just standing in the middle of this room with kids. They're all sitting on the floor just, you know, trying to make rice exciting. Yeah, and I can't believe she's not handing them all cookbooks, A, because I mean, there's so many ways to spice up rice. second I don't know that this is how much prey

She's got her hands in the full on like Christian prayer You know hands palms just flat together like a little kid playing. Yeah, which I mean that's very like namaste I guess maybe that's she's doing. I think that's a namaste moment that she's having but it's also like she's sort of a standing there as like moment that she's having. But it's also like she's sort of standing there as like congratulations. How lucky are you to have me to build this monastery for you? I'm sure that in your journey of meditation by trees, you have often pictures yourself are in the company of a Rolex. So yes, congratulations. And if ever you would like to come to my castle, here is a gift certificate to be used in the restaurant. You can play one turn at a slot every time you come into the castle. Okay, so let me see, I'm just going to pick something random.

She apparently an older lady is dying or something So she's got a little bit of that. Well, I think there's one there's a good one of her with candles Okay, should I read that I was gonna read the co-coach and I'll post but it's kind of short. Okay, so she's with she's in Outside, I guess all these temples and there's just like a wall of candles and she's crying and wearing the most beautiful gold dress. I think she's like pray crying maybe? I don't know she's praying but I don't know what she's doing but it's like Rolex forward

and then her gold dress is just like draped onto the sidewalk. It's a very beautiful picture actually. Of course. So she's like Caroline Fleming, Shredog on Pagoda. On the night of my birthday, my love organized for 1,500 candles to be lit in front of me at the most sacred and oldest Buddhist stupa in the world. The number 1500 has a deep meaning in Myanmar culture as this number symbolizes the love between a man and a woman. Sorry to any gay monks. I was moved so deeply to the core of my heart. I have never felt such a powerful and beautiful love declaration.

And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be with this wonderful man heart. What a wonderful man he is to take those monks away from their prayers and their studies and have them light candles for me. What a wonderful wonderful man. God, I think God there's nothing flammable around here. She would bring down a goddamn temple on her way out on her birthday. Caroline Flaming. Wow, see you you later. Yeah, this is pretty great. Also, I have to say this new relationship. Um, couple of things about this.

One, what a sweet gesture to a woman who has everything. Get light a bunch of candles. That's nice. Yeah. I think it's true happiness because have you noticed her lack of uh, emoji sentences? I mean, you. Oh, yeah.

There used to be like 500 emojis in each post and she's learned to just say hot That's true. That's very true She had sort of like and like she used to have a lot of hashtags or she'd be like hashtag kind of a hashtag monk hashtag Buddha hashtag come stitches Yeah, he was probably like stop with the fucking hashtags. I can't even get okay He was probably like, stop with the fucking hashtags. I can't even get- Okay. Hashtag man, hashtag boyfriend, hashtag no longer single, no longer ready to mingle. Hashtag scoff.

Oh wow, a Caroline Fleming, you just keep doing you because you live just the life that I dream of having someday. Just privileged and European. And also not to bring anybody down, but God bless you, Annabelle. There's some pictures of Annabelle here who passed away. Oh, that's a sweet Annabelle. Miss you.

Alexander! Alexander! Yeah. The Flem. All right. Now, without lovely palette cleanser, because we also recorded an episode of Mary D'Medicine today, which you can go find wherever you found this, Sucka. Yep. So we needed that little cleanser because guys, it's time for MJ to have a bath.

Yeah. MJ's fun. The Tanner is coming off, everyone. The Tanner, the bronzer. It's all coming out. We'd like to apologize to any of the fish in the sea who have been permanently stained from the making of this episode. Okay. You know, we hear so much about how straws are killing turtles. What about the spray tan that we're all fleshing down the sinks and the toilets? Yeah. What about making the fish look just even more exotic, right?

Like, who wants a goldfish? I want a goldfish that has a tan. I know a fish are like saving each other. They're like, oh my god, did you see that pasty blowfish? Someone needs to spend more time by a drain. What a bitchy fish. Who's doing that to the blowfish? And... What? What? Bitchy fish. Who's doing that to the blowfish?

It was probably like one of those... I know what fish it was. It's one of those like those like needle fish or whatever. You know those like real skinny ones that just like hang out at like low tide. Oh, it's like one of those fish that like eats the... No, they wouldn't be snaughty. I was gonna say the fish to eat your dead skin when you go get a pad of cure.

Yeah, and then like a, and then like a man to read comes by, I was like, I don't know. I think that like, you know, like if she doesn't want to get a tan, she's not that damn, like, uh, shut up, Mount Array. And then another fish comes fine. It's like, I wonder if the other fish is going to get mad that I spent 500 sea shells.

I'm making a fish panning. I wonder if the other fish is going to get mad that I spent 500 sea shells. I'm making fish, Annie. Ooh. This one's like the clown fish. And then like one of those like yellow fish, it's like all yellow, but then has like a big white stripe down the middle. It's like, oh my god, like, I don't tan because I don't wanna have wrinkles when I'm older.

And they're like, they've got the beta fish. She's just the mom, Zveta. She's like, they've got the the beta fish. She's just the mom's Zveta. She's like, I don't like these. I don't like these in me. I like that you're grafting Shaza Sunset onto them

and I'm just grafting like people from childhood. I'm just sticking with the original thought, which is fish, okay, in Shaza Sunset. You know, there's like a seahorse it's like bib bib like the tan like I don't need a tan like right now Like I have a sun in me bib okay seahorse right now my tan is coming from inside of me because there's life giving me sunshine so Seahorse that has like a little like like has like a little golden thing right on snout. Hey your water I made it diamond your breath the same water is the rest of us. And then all of a sudden like a little Ego Leechy jellyfish comes by and

like um I think you guys are all kind of crazy. Like shut up you're a jellyfish. Yeah shut up you stupid whore. Um I own more medicine, I love you, bye. It's just one of those fast fish that flies by on the same. Fast fish. Fast fish. And then like pneumonia comes.

I'm like, it's a pool. A pool of pneumonia has come by, you know, and they're going like, left and right, and it's not pool of school. Like, a left and right, and left and right, and left and right, you know, like when like, a school of fish does that, and they look like, something like, like, like a of school. Like a left and right and left and right and left and right. You know, like when a school of fish does that and they look like,

something like, like a big school and then small and big and you're like, oh my god, pneumonia, we get it. We don't have to be so extra. Oh, guys, quite fish from our right. Yeah. So let's see. So we open up with, and first of all, some of this opening,

now I don't know if we just didn't see the opening in the beginning, or I don't know why I never noticed this shit until like four weeks into a show. But in the opening, did you notice that Nima is at a blackboard doing like beautiful mind math? That's his thing. Yeah, I feel like I did see that. And I thought for a long time, he was a teacher.

And then this episode, oh, he has like a digital marketing company. Oh, I mean, what the hell? They're like someone who goes to work. He must be brilliant They probably shot it like one of those porn studios, you know where they just you know The the porn studios where they have like this room looks like a doctor's office and this one looks like a gym locker room No, like we got a shoot and okay in the fake class and just write something on the chalkboard. It's just for the opening credits. Warren, I thought that's where you went to get your head shots done. God. I think that I'm getting my head shots done in a porn place and know what's even hinting that I should

do some porn. I know, that's so rude. Mike, look, I'm wearing glasses. I'm a teacher. So, yeah. teacher. So yeah, here are things I don't want to see on Bravo. I don't want to see like the life and times of raising small children. And I also don't want to watch wedding planning. It's just like, I don't like it in real life. I don't want to watch it on my TV. You're so over it that you didn't even get mad that she took her dogs in there. Well, I like her little dogs. Oh, you do. I do, Toya and Julio.

I actually do like her dogs. And like my favorite part of the season so far was that shot of one of those dogs, just like resting on her bag, just taking a nap. That was like my favorite thing. And I rebounded, just like stared at it and then put it on our feed. Yeah, little dog.

So she comes in and MJ is very new MJ this year. She's like very kind of Diva E. She's not being mean necessarily. She's just like, I've got a new weave and a new attitude, like she's very like new, I'm going to get married now. What I guess is just that married girl thing. Yeah, where it's like, I've won something. It's like you won Tommy.

OK, let's talk about it. so she shows up and I'm surprised that Crafty has a space First of all, I have to say congratulations. It's called blueprint now. It's called blueprint now Crafty turned into blueprint Who's like welcome to the glue gun store what can we do for you? Yeah, and it's like click click yeah What can we do for you? And it's like click, click. Yeah. Click. So yeah, so it's like, there's talk about like MJ is doing all

this stuff and Tommy is not involved. Like, well, that's probably because you're doing it in four weeks. And really, it's just three weeks. Because the week before the wedding doesn't count. So it's just like, I kind of feel like if you're gonna do a fast, a fast timeline on your wedding, you can't always expect your partner to be able to be there with you for all of it because you've accelerated the time. I don't know, I think I'm just ranting

for the sake of ranting. I'm like, why not rant right now? Let's rant about this. Well, here's my, you're getting a free wedding from Craftsy. So shut up and stop acting like you're doing a ton of stuff. Second of all, you're marrying Tommy, the guy who showed up to your first meeting at your apartment after talking to you on Tinder with jogging pants and a huge boner sticking out of his jogging pants, okay? So like what do you expect here, you know? Sometimes you just gotta drive the car,

you drove off the lot. Okay. Okay. So anyway, MJ's rented a house and then Palm Springs for a giant like bridal bath, which is, it's basically like, it's like, it's not a wedding shower, it's a bath, which actually sounds less appealing to me than a shower. Especially with this cast, like I don't want to get in the, I don't want to get in the

bath with every single person in this cast, you know, showers are easier. We can like maintain our own stalls. It sucks that they have to rent a house. Too bad, Resa doesn't have his anymore. Thanks, Adam. So they're like, so how many people are walking? MJ is super important. Okay, here's my list of God, not Adam, not Adam, not Adam and not Adam. And I was like, I heard that. It's like outside waiting to be asked. Oh Adam. I can just imagine Adam walking down the aisle as part of the procession And he like raises against some of the flowers Yes, I've a sit down coffee with the coffee the floral arrangement He's like every frost does have it's thorn and I think that that's what you need to realize about yourself

Rose that hurt me in that wedding But I'm tulips so Okay, I forgive you I guess I thought I guess I was just projecting this sort of flower I would want onto you But I have to accept that you're tulips. Can I be in your wedding? You can be in the pansy wedding. Wait, there's a Leon Lachon flower here so wedding. You can be in the pansy wedding. Wait, there's a Leon lock and flower here. So who's going to give away MJ? Oh, this is sad. So it's, you know, like she's like, is she going to walk with someone or she can walk alone because her dad just

died to the sad they cry, et cetera. And the Leonora, whatever her name is the wedding plan is like, okay, enough of that. Okay, let's space time Tommy. Hi, Tommy. Tommy what the hell I can't hear nothing over you what's going on over here I'm in a land of city and she's like Tommy I'm your wedding planner I can't believe I'm only meeting you now and we're like weeks away like why haven't you met me yet this is crazy Tommy I'm like you know what just collect your

check and do you do your job okay don't shame him, Tommy. I'm like, you know what, just collect your check and do your job. Okay, don't shame him because he has a life. Now, if you want to shame somebody, shame, have the cast for having cars bigger than homes. I mean, does Gigi need a truck like this? Oh, yeah, I mean, this was a great episode for like, like to showcase ridiculously over size vehicles. These people all need, they need to take a seat and then deflate the giant tires They put those seats on okay. Yes, you can be a monster without having a monster truck. Yeah, GG

It's huge this thing so he comes to Nemo's porn warehouse basically what Ben was just driving. Yeah, yeah Oh, you said hit he comes to my next name is Neema So she goes over to Nemo's place and he's like, hey baby girl Hey, I have my main plan is here. Hey, yeah, welcome to my creator studio. Just so like That's so like web g. Oh like buzzword social media influence or talk. It's so like free printer software talk Yeah, exactly. Welcome to the Creator Studio. We have a palette of tools here that you can use.

Welcome to the Achillit Packard Creator Studio. OK, would you like to print? We do scan, export to PDF, or pick between five on. I like that Nima does that thing that makes no sense. Where he is like, yeah, so basically what we do here is like, listen, you have a skateboard, you want to sell your skateboard, you make a video here, and then the skateboard we put in contact with other skateboard.

And next thing you know, it's in a skateboard world, it's in an orbit, and we get that, those pieces go into that pieces, and there's a macaroni and cheese souffle ready for you and your skateboard. You're like, wait, I don't understand. We create content, you know, for brands, you know, board, Apple, Apple bees, bees, birds, bees. We're very popular with bees. We have a lot of bee content here.

Little Debbie's, Debbie Downer. It's like, okay, just stop saying names. So GG is really into nerds. Okay. Uh, so GG is really into nerf. Hi, yes, yes. GG's on some crazy meds this season. Yeah, she's, well, we know what meds she's actually on because she's like this season, my new thing that I'm going to try to do is a THC inhaler.

So this is her latest entrepreneurial endeavor. She wants to do that. And Nima, this place sort of like zoned out. And then, but then I have Sun I was like, wait, did Nima just say what I think he said? Because he's like, I think this is great. Because Gigi's gonna make millions with this. We're gonna help her make millions.

I'll marry her and then I'll divorce her and take half the money. Did he say that or is that just made? Pretty much. Well, I thought he said something like, well, if we get married, then half that's mine. But I guess he probably could have said divorce. Oh, I think I added the divorce.

I darkened the narrative. He might have said that. And I just, I mean, I don't know how I did right. He and Moana will run off with the money together. They'll kill GG and they'll be like, let's go to Mexico. Yeah, a little Ruth Weir novel. Depression Ruth Weir will come along and write that novel. I don't get reference, but I appreciate it. It's called Little It, Sherbans. So I'm sorry. I guess I'm just like more into the classics called Jane Austen's.

Totally. Yeah, we do a lot of branding for Jane Austen's. This is great new restaurant. That's in like the greater demorian area. It's like a chain restaurant. They've got like the Mr. Darcy special. They got you know the Emma Emma burger great stuff You know brands brands brands. We're just putting brands with brands and influencers and social social media and viral and You know what not looks and clicks and click through So Nima is saying a lot of foolish things. He's like we can put massive eyeballs on your products Oh eyeballs. I hate when people say eyeballs. Yeah, we have like seven million people just in the weed space. Okay, just in the weed space.

What I want someone to do a viral video about crossbases. The crossbased space is so great. You're gonna have so many eyeballs on that crawl space, space. But crawl space, the weed space, the, uh, Ford space, so many spaces, okay. Space, space, space. So he tells us, people ask me, why do you help Gomeza? And, you know, part of it,

oh, it's that she's hot. But, it's also that I really want to help her, you know, uh, what are you doing? Stop. Okay. You're making some social media ads. Let's stop acting like you're poor children. Yeah.

Neema, you're well dressed. You seem like a pretty bright guy. You're actually in really a great business because it's one of those things that like people are like, I don't know what social media is. You're, you do it for me. So you're doing your thing. Why are you, why are you messing around with Gigi? Why are you doing this?

Yeah, he's really taking this suggested plot device really far. So then they redeem this scene because he goes, okay, so are you sold? And she's like, yeah, because also I want to have sex looms, you know, because you could put it in your badge or in your mouth. And guess what? It's not a dick which is so GG yeah and then he redeems the scene by going okay so you're in

okay I want you to pitch this at elevator night yeah and she could see she's like I'm a fridipite I'm a fridipite no no you don't have to actually ride an elevator. It's called an elevator pitch like well, why would you why would an elevator throw a ball? No, GG He's like one of the guys says it's our version of Shark Tank. Oh wow. You have your own version of Shark Tank That's pretty crazy. Are you investing any money in this? Because it sounds like she already has a very confused mind. GG's gonna show up in full Scooby-Gear With like a harpoon ready to stab a shark. She's like, I'm ready. I'm ready. I saw the Meg Should've been called the MJ if you know what I'm saying

Next up Reza is bringing flowers to you. I wrote, Reza brings flowers to scary couple in mansion. I wrote, Reza brings flowers to Cherey, and I was like, Cherey, I'm like, oh, Cherey, but I'm so used to, I was like, what is Cherey doing in my notes? Yeah, Reza brings flowers to Cherey and Dan Funch. Funch, Funch, the Hermogals.

Did you, well, you lived in New York. So did you ever watch that public access show or are you familiar? I'm sure you are. Robin, Robin Bird. That's this woman, right? Sere. I'm fairly certain she's Robin Bird.

Yeah. This old sex, this old sex show on public access. She's like, hey, I'm Robin Bird, hey. She's like, you're back in strip in Korea, honey. Yeah, it was, that's like, I, I actually never really got to see it because it was like, it was public access in New York City And I was up in Westchester where like we didn't even have public access or we did it was like there's a new cone on the road But

Yeah, it's Robin Bird's legendary. Yeah, so this lady looks just like Robin bird all grown up You know and sold some bad head or whatever. Yeah, and she's already like a little silly because Resa's like, hi, Bradgie Flare's and she's like, oh, thank you so much. They're like all bunch of fakers and ponies right here at the same We look at my dog. We just have a tear call it done, but it's fading I'm dead your dogs hair. Don't do that. It's not Cindy Lauper. So, Resa, they have these like, um, shampoos that they've created that are called Riza be obsessed.

Be obsessed with Riza. It looks like it's a product at the auto zone. It's got all these gold flames on the side WTF it should be in like a like a bargain bin at the duty free shop or something And you know that they're screwing over Resa because no one with a no one who's not fucking you over would do business with somebody Who's wearing a leather backpack with? somebody who's wearing a plethora backpack with little little

those points. Yes. That's paramount. Like, keep a trooper thing. We're not Bowser, sir. So, yeah, so then, and I'm talking about these people. I mean, this guy Dan Funch, Funch, he's wearing his like Miami, he like world championship ring. He's like, oh, let me pour you some champagne and look at my championship ring. I'm like, you are not doing weight less on my check. So take that ring off. He's like, took, let me pour you some champagne and look at my championship ring. I'm like you are not doing weed last time

I checked so take that ring off He's like to get off some dead person and he's He tells the guy. I'm gonna get you some champagne because one of the ingredients in your product is Champagne so enjoy the flies around your head everybody Yeah, exactly and I'm sure it's Andre. That's what's in there. So anyway, Resa is like, it's been, it's been, I've been having so much fun,

making shampoo and designing bottles and look at it. It looks like me if I were a bottle. I'm like, it has a mustache and it's sort of like sweaty and like, is it trying to like turn other bottles against each other? It's like the bottle of Kurt and head and shoulders are fighting now. The conditioner will be taking down the body wash this season. I'll just love when the lady goes... Yeah champagne has the same balance as apple

cider vinegar and he goes and that is so good for people. Okay. So he signs over this check to them for 500 grand. Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the thing. They're probably not full charlatans because they do own bedhead, which is like a huge, you know, hair thing.

So they're not like, it's not like they are from like, Dan and Sherees hair palace, you know, they're like, they have like a legitimate product line, you know? Yeah, if it's, I mean, I haven't looked them up, so I don't know if it's just them, if they're partners with like a ton of other people, have they been to, have they been to Niemas elevator night? I'm not sure. But,. But Resa's so resa like writes this check for $500,000 and he is like, he's already like, even though the hair care line is slowing down the surrogacy process. And then it's like, da da da. You know, he

keeps talking about my like, I'm like, I love it. He's saying that like, yes, you slow it down, but it's going to be investments to be passive income. It's going to be good in the long run. I'm like, no, you're just slowing down the surrogacy process. And you know what? I applaud it. And he gets a little, he gets a little fighting points in there for later with Adam. He's like, hopefully now we will be able to afford those biological twins. Cause Adam is existing on not adopting.

Yeah, he wants like a two for one special. Yes. Yeah. I like that. Resa is so doesn't want to have children that he is willing to just burn $500,000 or put it off. Yeah, totally. And so the never trusted guy who says, we're going to be laughing some day into heady,

Sipin, Kristall. Hmm, yeah. No. Don't trust. Do not trust. Don't, right. Yeah, you won't you won't be because did you serve Crystal right now sir? I don't think so. You could have been you could have been laughing over Crystal right now. Yeah, instead of this fearless flyer

trader Joe's. Two buck chuck post echo. God, you said fearless flyer once and it's never going to leave my brain. I'm going to think about it all day. You're the one who usually says that I usually go to the penny saver. It comes to low rent publications. Destiny is I tried not to say so but then I couldn't think of another one. Why are you afraid of saying so? It's not that I'm afraid. It's just like, and I said like again, I don't know. I'm trying to change my patterns, you know? So, so, so like so, so, so, and I couldn't think of anything to say.

So I said, um, which I'm very, I'm confounded by it, I'm confused. I'm gonna work through it. Ben, is my point. It's your destiny. Hmm, thank you. Did you see what I did there? Thank you. Speaking of destiny.

Hmm. It took a little bit of planning in the Vins. Yeah, it took more intellect to get there your way, but you know what, wasn't that worth it for everybody in the end? I feel like everyone felt that this was a rewarding segue. I think we all learned something. I was happy with it. I liked it.

I think I could go up there as one of our better segues of the quarter. Yeah, I like a segue that looks looks like the segway looks like me. If I were segway, that's what I would look like. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Destiny is getting ready for this party. It's this douchey car place. And she's doing her usual, okay, waitress is look hot and flirt with the dudes, because that's what you're here for.

And then all over the walls is this art. One of them looks like some teenage girl kneeling down and sucking a cigar that some of them are missing. Right, I thought that's you. It's provocative. Yeah, so another one is like a huge picture of women like tongue kissing, like a close up of tongues. And then another one is lipstick that some girl is FALIC lipstick like edgy the edgy

Yeah, I wasn't really sure what this party was for Because I think they they shipped in the cars and then were they trying to sell the cars, but you couldn't touch the cars I didn't know what it was it just felt like a party for party's sake, which is you know, that's what a party is sometimes And so Shervin and GG show up. Now, I've always had a very soft spot for Shervin. I love me some Shervin, but he's really losing me, you know. Like, I was okay with his cheating thing last year, but you know what though, the man bun is a problem.

And then he shows up in his big ass, Mac Truck, and he parks it like up half on the curb. And I'm like, you know what, Shervin, at this point I'm convinced your penis is the size of a tic-tac and you know what I don't have to even say it because Gigi says it for us But wouldn't he have heard that before? What that he has a small dick. Yeah, well that giant car means a tiny dick Well, that's the thing but guys that's why it's infuriating because everyone knows that. And yet, guys continue to get these giant cars and do things like just park them on a curb

like with the butt of the car hanging out in traffic. So it's like, Shervin, I want to think that you don't have a small dick, but don't keep acting this way. It's like my theory about muscle cars. And I won't happy. Okay. Yes, lean back because this is my theory. Okay. I heard the door. this is my theory. Okay. I

Hear the door. I didn't even like that. No, no, I know I know because no, this is important because I have to I have to dust off this theory like once every six months If you drive a muscle car, you're an asshole and if you're not an asshole, but you're driving a muscle car Just know that people think you're an asshole. Sorry, that's just end of story. I can't help you. I cannot help you. You may be the nicest person and you're driving a muscle car. I'm gonna think you're an asshole

because there are too many assholes who drive muscle cars. Yeah, so you're the one who's risking it, basically, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm with you. He's pretty much a douche for doing that. But I do respect him for taking on the friend of role and still kind of staying on the show But just refusing to let anybody ruin his life

He's getting the best of both worlds and for that I say brava sir I just wanted to lose the man button park properly and then I'll be okay Well, you know you can train him train him remember remember when we met Shervin I'm so sweet. Okay Well, you know you can train them train them remember remember when we met Shervin And we met him right before the last season aired and we said who's life just resuru in this season? He's like, well me pretty much yeah, I pretty much get it I got it pretty bad, but I think I handled it pretty well So I'm I feel good about it Is my turn, you know like like, you know, Gigi

Josh rise to come for me and then res I'm at fucked up. I fucked up. You know, go NASA got me right. So Gigi is so sure. So Gigi is super excited to be there because he's sort of socialized with money to spend. So she's making fun of him for having a tiny penis and so he gets her oh no, and then they're talking about this new guy coming for Alexander Alexander Coming for destiny the guy she went on a day and then so like he's supposed to come to her party and then Basically, he doesn't show up and he he stiffs her when I stiff serve but stands her up Which is obnoxious.

At the same time, though, in general, you never want to invite someone to your work for a date. It's always bad because then they stand around, they're awkward, they don't want to get in your way. Like, for like a second or third date, don't do that, Destiny. I'm not saying you deserve to be stood up, but just going forward, don't do that. To anybody that I'm having sex with at the Denver show app, I'm just kidding.

What if I just applied my dates like that? I'm so lazy. You know, I want me to work. You know, one of my dating low points, I, there was a go-go dancer who was like, like we were like chatting at one of the apps or whatever and he was like, oh, I'm dancing at at MJ's full circle remember remember MJ's yeah so he was like oh yeah I'm gonna be dancing like come I was like oh my god this guy's hot yeah like cool so I went being like cool I'm gonna

sort of have like a date with this guy and it was like the worst thing of all time because he was like on a box and I was like standing there like do I stand near the box do I just like what do I do like do I stand like what like it was awful awful I'm feeling great, Kolly if that's what I felt like I felt like you're doing so good up there you just got a great tip good job those tips are really paying off, Kolly oh yeah like when you did the when you did that drop right there. That was good. Oh, the split. That was nice. M.J. pulls Destiny aside and says, how was your date? Did he pulsate your clip? Yeah.

And then she touches the car. She's not supposed to. Yeah. So finally, it's like 930 and M.J MJ like this guy has stood up destiny. So destiny calls like hey just seeing where you are or whatever and MJ is like I want to speak so she calls him back and says you know what if you're not going to show up say I got cold feet or I died in a plane crash. I guess he tells us that but it's like I love that like just say I died in a blank Rish I'm glad you showed your true fucking color so we don't got to waste our time with unworthy Pussy's okay So I'm really bored with this show at this point. How are you feeling? Every season I say I'm so mad at these people

They're good friends and they try and ruin each other's lives But then when they're not ruining each other's lives, it's like they're talking about the cars they can't afford, you know? I agree. When they stop ruining each other's lives, they just start ruining other people's cars on the street. Because now we have Mike in his giant truck and he's an actual, now he actually has a moving company. So he should know how to use large vehicles. And he's driving a car in a member. He hit a car when he was driving that big moving truck That's true. And then he clips another car in this episode and Morgan's like, huh, so

Morgan our resident Jack Lanttern. Yeah, she's basically keyboard cleaner She just ain't keyboard cleaning. You know, like those cans over there. She looks, she reminds me of like back in the day, Ziploc bags had an average housing campaign where they drew like a smiley face on a thumb and they got the thumb of talk was like the spokesman for Ziploc bags. I'm like, I kind of feel like I get to have a vibe.

She may be perfectly lovely, but like her, here's the thing, I'm not making some of the way she looks, I'm making the fun of the way she does her makeup. Oh, yeah, she has a great face. And she doesn't have a great, she does. In this episode, I'm saying it's like beyond it's beyond it's like if it's like it's

almost like someone from priv decided to move to Japan and attempt kabuki and they like failed. And now they create their own weird makeup art called like privuki and it's like disasterous So she's with him for and we find out that he's bought this investment property Like this was listed way below market value. It's a smoke India

Smoke India it was like a dumpster. Yeah, it's a cross from I think like an auto My zone, but it's like a bad boys or something. It's a cross from I think like an auto. The zone, but it's like a pet boys or something. It's a future retail hub of Reza shampoo. It was not cute. And if it's listed way below market value in that area, there's something wrong with it. Did you get somebody to come look at it? Did you just buy this right off of their looser? Yeah.

And Sue, like the mom is that well, well, so first the brothers get together. It's, you know, so it's, it's Mike and then his brothers Jonathan and David, and they get together and Morgan's with them. And then Mike is like, Hey, go back into the car. Like we're going to talk right now. And we're talking business right now. We're talking business. We're going to talk shop. Go back in the car, which is like, fuck you. Like she may have a crazy

makeup, but she's totally like why is she what she can't stand there with you guys? Cause you're gonna be talking like too elevated. No, please, I don't want to get sick. Maybe not us, but she deserves respect from you. Yeah, and he's like, well, she's freezing. I don't want her to get sick. Like how about let her decide when she's too cold to stand out there and listen to you num skulls?

Yeah, he just didn't want the woman hearing about their money. And uh, her godfather. Yeah. And um, both the bruh, I just see skies. They're like, oh, we have zipped a little one zipper. Look at what we did that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we've been on the other one. That's how we always do it.

Uh, oh, yeah, look at the zipper. Look now. It's down. Oh, zipper got your zipper. And then his other brother, um, the person the zipper look now it's down zipper got your zipper So his other brother the person juicy Joe It is what John I forgot with her name John. I just had their names here, but I I Jonathan and David So they yeah, I can oh, I thought I me either myself. No, no, so So basically Sue the mother wants to sell this piece of shit property,

because she's like, let's just sell it, make like three or four million dollars. Mike's like, no, when you think about it, this is like 20 units, 20 units at like three million units, three million dollars per unit. That's like 45 billion a year. Like this is a big thing. If anybody needs to know how much money we're gonna make watch the opening of the show, Neema nails it, he knocks it out of the park.

We have like eyeballs, like it's gonna be like, you open the doors, eyeballs in there, like I'm really getting into the eyeballs space right now. I look at this and I see brands. Okay. What I see. He's like, my mom is this, it's being a nace here, but she probably thinks I can't do it. I'm like, yeah, because you failed at everything, but that's okay. I'm sure you have those baby shoes to fall back on.

Yeah, that clip of his mom. She's like, this is going to be two years of hard work, you guys. And I'm like, yeah, that's a good idea. I'm like, Mike, you can't even keep the same face for two years. So now we have Tommy and MJ at home, and MJ is getting annoyed because Tommy hasn't helped out with the wedding and he's like, he's like, wow, it's, I don't know what he says. He's like, what, what are we doing here? I'm betting the dog. And she says, first of all, what's tomorrow Tommy? Oh, you're thinking it's spring, right?

Which to me is huge that he knew that yeah I'll think of a good points for that. She's like how about you stop saying you and start saying we Okay, I'm surprised you go we we just like the French He's like it's a bridal shower. It's a bath So yeah, basically that's their front. There's like a thing about like, he didn't know that her last name had lived or something like that. Yeah, she gets mad because she says, yeah,

she calls her, she's like, oh, it's a V-d-sha, something. Like long of the king. And he's like, huh? Yeah. Yeah, and then, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to, oh, then his shaming her for her clothes begins Which I've read a little stuff on I've read some things on the internet about it

So I guess we should mention it because he's like oh my god I mean, what are you thinking of that? Huh? She's like I'm gonna wear this is he's like that see through Jesus. I can see what you think and Jesus I'm just gonna be real proud of that and Jay. It's crochet I don't know that designer It's a Ramona singer crochet dress making a return but on MJ and She puts on this big gold medallion. He's like So Tommy's just acting things where he's like you're rap, but you're rap that which I was like

He's nagging her he's nagging and nagging her about what she's wearing and stuff, which I don't know, it's not really a good look. He's usually so nice. I guess he deserves some tarnish. But I don't know. So now it's the next day and everyone starts piling into M to S U V's because they're all going to go to Palm

Springs, you know, et cetera. And we have like Adam Resa and MJ are in one car, then Nima and Gigi are in another and Nima is asking Gigi if she's dating anyone and she's loving flirting with him because she knows that he basically has a like a boner every time he looks at her. So she's just like toying with him at this point. And yeah, but that's one of those guys who acts like this all the time at first. And then they cheat on you. Yeah.

He totally has that vibe. He's a creep. Yeah. So talking about like how we had great sex with his ex and then he's like, but then once it was over, I mean, I lost 50 pounds of divorce, but I gained $10,000 and therapy bills. So you do the math, which you really can't do because like $50, $50 pounds versus like $10,000 in their people's, that's two different separate units. So it actually doesn't work out on my chalkboard.

Good luck doing the math. I've got the drier race markers. Yeah. Yeah. This reference is supposed to appeal to the lowest comment denominator. Get what I said there. Another car Vita is riding with serving Mona and It's like all the JV players serving

Mona so she's like Mona schmucks you have job you have Yab Mona she's like now and she's just playing on her phone and Vita is getting so mad. She says This girl she say I am Mona and I am addicted to iPhone. iPhone addiction in America is real. People who don't, who don't spend five minutes without looking at phone is ridiculous. And Mona, don't even have a job. Yeah. These people could not spend five minutes without looking at their phone. Let's ridiculous. And Mona doesn't even have an important job. their phone. This ridiculous. And Mona doesn't even have an important job. I'd love that like they're going to Palm Springs and they're all everyone's dressed in like like going to Palm Springs clothing except for Vita. Vita is doing that like old lady

pant suit thing like you know a certain age and old lady just loves to get into like it's not really a blazer it's not really a cardigan but it sort of speaks of both of those things like it's a little sort of like a little pant and blazery sort of thing. Like, yeah, and this is my casual desert clothes, you know? My grandma used to do that, my grandma loves, it's almost like there's like, you might think there might be a polo that's going to get involved at some point. Oh my gosh, she probably does have some like real tour course polos over there. You know, like an old lady pantsuit, Bolo combo.

Yes. Classic. Oh my god, I live for it. God, I'm much cracker, barrel. So Vita tells them, be like Nancy Viggin and just see no. Now that's good advice for these people, but not for the reason you think. Okay, this is Shaz. So Adam and MJ are talking and they're in their own car.

Adam, MJ and Resa and Adam's like, do you know who's gonna be at that best dad? And she goes you too. I can't wait for Taylor kids to work day. If we have a little girl, I'm gonna dress her up and slick down her hair. Resa's is like, hey, what if that little girl was a shampoo bottle? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha because you're married now and you can't just do that. Yeah, you have to tell your partner when you're gonna do something like that. That's why he's like, there was another person be slapping high five, but this what happens when you marry a sweet white boy from Oklahoma. It's so Persian. Yeah, white has, person has been totally don't mind when you just blow half a million dollars behind their back and build them for some sample line.

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. So now, Gigi and Nima wind up at a sex shop because they're going to buy like a like a racey gift for MJ for her for a bridal bath. So with the typical sex shop on Bravo scene, like, oh my god, look at the deal though, oh, it's a little tool. Oh, you know, this is crazy. You know, sex shop guys have lotions and feathers and whips I have to pretend that I'm that guy no one thinks that you're that guy Mima at that point my DVR did its classic glitch it's like happening a lot more but now I'm starting to think my DVR is actually watching along with me and the DVR is like mm-hmm don't't wanna watch this anymore. Don't wanna watch. Don't be a-

Don't be a- It's like, I'm done, okay? So I'll go with your DVR, nothing happens. Except she's like, he's flirting with me. Ah-ha-ha-ha! And it's really just a sad, sad, sad storyline. Makes me sad. Yes.

So now MJ Reson, Adam, get to the rental, which could have been their house if Adam well, you know So they get there you know, right like the this backyard is super cute It's like a backyard like that's like so Persian dead like a backyard white people be like I want to have a front yard And Persian people be like I want to have a backyard and I was like you have a backyard now. It's like okay massage tables that's so white people that massage tables by pool And I'm just like this is not your average bridal party. This is for all of us. That's what I am a person who thinks of others Yes, this is not your average bridal party. This is your below average bridal party

This is not your average bridal party. This is your below average bridal party. This is not your average bridal party. It's your average bath. It's your average bird bath actually more like it. Um, just here for other people, which is why I invited GG X's X to the last party and didn't ask Adam to be in my wedding. So it's time for afternoon pampering and massages. We see our buddies Brandon and Craig hanging around in the background Brandon starting to do MJ's hair and stuff. Where's the starts to get a smoky eye? Because why not? Do they not have back waxers there? Get to work. So GG. Good job. Good job. Good job. Good job. What was that?

Sushi, how'd you breath? Come on. So, TJ arrives, and she's with her friend DJ Demore. It was not a sitcom character. She's allegedly a DJ. She pretty much is, because she immediately goes before she's even set up and playing. She goes next to a big speaker and just starts putting her hand in the air and dancing by herself. There was a lot of windshield wiper hand dancing going on

for the rest of the episode. Just people in the pool with their hands up, especially Reza, the hands up and then like, lift, rate, lift, rate, lift, lift, rate, lift, lift, right, lift, right. Yeah, it's like people in Sims. so then Mike and everybody basically arrives and MJ is MJ is like if you guys aren't wasted you are disenfighted woo woo what's your band standing by the speakers dancing alone yeah DJ DeMora whatever And Gigi's on this whole Gigi's book of game chapter one.

Gigi's book of game chapter two. Make sure your obsessed mate is watching as you reveal the bruise on your hip. Like this is very sexy. So, so very sexy. Meanwhile, Adam was getting real wild. He does a cannonball into the pool. I was like, uh-oh. This is what happens when Tamegay is going out into the wild. They become wild. He even gets into a pool in the fetal position.

There was, like, I feel like a million shots of Adam trying to jump on that. Like, a little, like, I don't know what it was. It looked like a half-eaten cantaloupe float. Cantaloupe? Cantaloupe? Cantaloupe? Cantaloupe? Can anything be more descriptive of this so? It was like a million shots and Mike was doing it too. It was like anytime the producers wanted to cut away they're like oh there goes Adam he's gonna try it again and it's like one point of like jumps on it or maybe it was Mike but I think it was Adam. He went to like jump on it and like flew out from beneath him like the, at that point the float

was like, I don't wanna be part of this anymore. I didn't actually sign a waiver. It's your DVR. So you see family with your DVR. Yeah. I also don't understand the thrill of like jumping. People do it a lot. It was like, I wanna jump on that float

and like land on it and stay on it. It's like the biggest thrill for people. And it never works. Do you to jump on that float and land on it and stay on it. It's the biggest thrill for people and it never works. Do you notice how quiet I am over here? I'm like, oh, you're like, I'm the screen door. Really? You know that to me? Of course, I'm the worst in a pool. I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to jump.

Okay, put those together. Let's see if I can get in the middle of it. Make a triangle. Okay, I'm going to jump on that one thing. I'm going middle of it. Make them a triangle. Okay, I'm gonna jump on that one thing. I'm gonna do it. I'm like a child. I'm like a gigantic baby. No, the pool noodle thing I get.

No, I get it. I mean, everyone climbs in the floor. That's what's fun. I just think it's funny that some people just become obsessed on like, okay, this time, I'm gonna jump and land on the big swan and then jump and then slide off. And I'm like, this time I'm gonna do it.

And they do it like five times. And you're like, at one point, just give yourself the head injury already. Yeah. Hey, listen, I don't play any other sports. I'm like, very bitter this episode. And I'm like complaining about everything. Well, this episode was kind of an odd episode.

Nothing really happened. And I expect more of my Shahs, OK? Yeah. Well, I like that. So MJ goes in to talk to Vita. And Vita's in in in far-seed. I think it's far my Shah's, okay? Yeah, well I like that. So MJ goes in to talk to Vida. And Vida's in Farsi, I think it's Farsi, right? Vida's like, don't stand too close to the pool because Razer will throw you in,

which I'm now making her sound like she's can do. Anyway. Mom, I think that that's a perfect segue into how much you've been for me and how much for dad and you know all that nice stuff Yeah, and then MJ is like oh my god She's being so motherly and making me feel protected, you know look what beautiful gifts can lie in this garden of loss It's like okay FF

So MJ they're all like MJ getting the pool and she's like no, I want Adam I want Tommy to see this outfit before I go wet, you know So let me see more footage of Adam jumping in the pool and and res is like DJ turn it up And she's like DJ Demora turning it up. That's my tagline, you know This song is about a DJ being played by DJ that is so white That's too white windshield windshield windshield So Tommy shows up and he's just in a pissy mood. He's hungry and he's been in traffic. Yeah

And then I was like get in the pool. I'm not swimming. That's one thing I won't do. I don't care. Yeah, I have everyone. And everyone's like, get in the pool. I'm not swimming. That's one thing I won't do. I won't swim. I'm like, come on, swim man. Come on. Why are you not going to swim at your own party? Don't be like that. He's also all up begging MJ again. She's like, hi Tommy. I'm sick. Glad you made it.

We got to do something about this lipstick. You know I don't like that. It's all over your mouth. I mean, come on. Do you like this outfit? No, you look like a rapper. I'm like what kind of rapper. Where's that? Please wearing like a short sort romper. He meant like a rapper on like a like a piece of candy. He's like Yeah, look like Millie way Like look like a soul water Taffy, huh? Look how T.M. You are you look like a smoke or a Dorito

Like that's nice. That's nice to say that was hilarious Do they have smoke and hot Doritos? I've had the smoke and hot Cheetos. I mean at this point They have Doritos that are like the flavor of like peppermint swizzle sticks that have been in like mocha capuchino or something I got a one-time in the sale rocket target. I got pecan pie ruffles. No, Pringles gross. I mean, you can get like ruffles that are like taste like bruschetta or something. It's like why are you doing this to us? So Giants is really impressive now. Keep it out of my mouth. Yeah. So Gigi is, she's going to be doing a big thing for an upcoming Persian holiday, so she invites pneumonia to it.

Like cool. And I know you guys are American Persian, that she's all the great Persian holidays. And they're like, yeah, of course. She's like, okay, you can come to mine. So let's see here. Destiny has a crazy pullout fit. It's just a full-on disaster. It's just like, send some fabric through like a steam roller

and poke some holes in it, and that's what she's wearing. So Destiny gets approached by Mike and Mona, who have been together for five minutes. So they have advice for everybody. You know, it's that fucking couple. Oh, Oh God yeah. Mike said you know I love MJ okay she's my homie but look how late she's starting her life like it's so late. So really ruined one can the girl like have a chance to start one. Yeah you already shamed her about having a chocolate croissant too don't think we will ever forget that okay so you don't have a right to save these things

about MJ behind her back, okay? You've done enough damage. He's like destiny. If you wanna find someone, here's what you gotta do. You gotta be open. Just what you gotta do. You just gotta be open. First of all, shut the fuck up, okay?

The only long-term relationship you've had was with Jessica. You cheated the whole time and then made an ass of her and yourself on TV. you've been with this girl for five minutes and she's got proof face that she did herself. Yeah, she's just sitting there staring like and then almost like she starts to talk and just give some sort of like very simplistic advice about like you know, people, and it's people of friends and they're like, that's love it. And it's just like you have to be out there and like, it's cold.

I want to get sick. I'm going to go inside. No one's perfect. You're going to have to put up with some flaws. Like just be with someone you can tolerate. Destiny's like, okay, you're 25. And I'm really certain that you're made of paper. So I'm just going to nod politely.

I have a feeling if I throw water on you, you're going to start like moving around like one of those straws. I feel like if I light a flame under you, you're going to float up into the sky. But at least someone wrote a wish down on me before I went. But at least someone wrote a wish down on me before I went. So meanwhile MJ is still like Tommy, let's go on to the water, let's go in the water. I'm like, this please don't let this be the conflict of the episode. That Tommy has to go in the pool. Well, Tom, just Tommy's just giving your tons a little disses. Yes, did you do this food?

It's the end of this food. Like both of us. Oh, yeah. I swimming MJ. And breathless. I can't you at least say her swimsuit is nice. It's the end of do this food like both of us. He's like oh, yeah I Remember I was like can't you at least say her swimsuit is nice look at it Yeah, and then so then there's like to stay there like there's talk about like how Tommy refuses to wear a ring Because he finds it like annoying or he doesn't like it whatever and she and he's like well, we'll then get a tattoo And he's like well, what should my cat do say like I love you. She's like, well, we'll then get a tattoo. And he's like, well, what should my tattoos say? Like, I love you.

And she's like, well, say I love you MJ. He's like, okay, I'll do it with emojis. And she's like, you know what, enough. He's like, oh, wow, I'll do emojis. I love emojis. I love you. Tattoo. Do you even want to get married?

Now she's doing that thing where she's just drunk and she wants to yell at him in front of everybody. But that said, he's asking for it this one. He is is he's being a dick. He's being a party booper like this is a fun party. Like honestly go eat some food, take a nap, like maybe jerk off and just enjoy yourself. Yeah, you have to do no work for this dude. DJ DeMora is on the tables. I don't aim DJ DeMora. I just started calling her that. Yeah. DJ DeMora. Yeah. I don't name DJ DeMora. I just started calling her that. Yeah. DJ DeMora. Yeah. So MJ is asked to change clothes for presents and she changes into her Ramona crochet thing.

Yes. And then they open presents and of course, Shervin gives them waterfall, waterfall champagne glasses. Yeah. It's nice, but that's such a Shervin thing to get. I know, it's so Shervin. Well, you know, it's like, go to the gig at the time, we're gonna such a servant thing to get. I know, it's so sure. Well, you know, it's like, it's a good time. We're going to want to have a nice toast.

You want to have some nice, like, you know, whatever, and it's a little bit because I really like it a lot. Too, and I think you'll like it too. It was like, thanks, urban. So, Gigi's like, I got you sex toys. Oh my God. I thought it was a different kind of party. And then Vita is just mortified.

And so she starts yelling at them all. she's still in her like in her like Ladies suit, you know, and when you're in the ladies suit, you you were not going to tolerate sex toys on your daughter Yeah, you're not gonna be there for like stick on the glass stick on the glass handcuffs Yeah, because resa yeah cuz resa and my resa micro like sticking MJ to the wall cuz it's like these suction cup handcuffs and she's like Resa No, no, I don't like these things. I don't like anybody encourage Mercedes We know that you believe in not encouraging Mercedes. Yes It's not the time to bring that out. She's already crying over there and then she blames Shervin

Which is the most hilarious thing And you're like, well, I gave her a waterfall crystal. No, you're giving me Serven, I don't like you Well, he's like, what the hell would I do? So Craig is next and he's like this is from Brenton and I and We don't want to ignore that you've lost a lot So we had a great loss with camps. I don't want to be a Mosin. I was like, Oh, yeah, you don't look emotional at all over

the MJ. Yeah. And by the way, do we I don't think we got to see what their gift was, right? No, we didn't even get to see hope. I'm hoping that it was like a crafty pillow of the picture of the dad, you know, just like one of those pictures, something like that. So then MJ gets she's now crying and she gives a a really sweet little speech where she's like one of those pictures. Something like that. So then MJ, she's now crying. And she gives a really sweet little speech where she's like, every morning I wake up. I don't know who's always going to be there for me,

but there's people like Sienna and time is like, why is she's paid? Which is true, but let her have her, just let her do her speech. And then everyone's like, Tom, Asian, like he's paid, she's hired, she's hired, she she's not a real friend she's tired you gotta we check every week what the hell yeah you're fucking idiot why am I marrying you I don't know that's what I was thinking what you doing yeah yeah yeah

oh yeah it's really hard I mean I'm at least usually rooting for Tommy what the hell and Destiny says I know that there's love there, but in this case, it's a little dangerous now. And that was that. And that was that. Everybody, thanks for joining us. We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Orange County. In the meantime, go get shows for live tickets for live shows. Denver is this Thursday come to see that show.

It's got a bet. I thought we're in New York for a couple of days and then we're going to Seattle and Nashville in November and December. And don't forget the

tickets go on sale Friday for Dallas. Yeah, it's going to be great. Really, really, really encourage people to come to our shows because they are a lot of fun.

And if you're worried about coming solo, do not worry. It happens to to be great. I really, really, really encourage people to come to our shows because they are a lot of fun and if you're worried about coming solo, do not worry. It happens to lots of people and they come and they make friends. It's great. Everyone, thanks. We sure love you. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

Bye. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. app.