Watch What Crappens - Shahs: Broadway Be Swervin'!
Episode Date: October 10, 2017GG finally takes the stage on "Shahs of Sunset," but not before MJ climbs onto a bar in Queens and Shervin breaks up with his girlfriend. Also, Asa is pregnant, guys. See acast.com/privacy fo...r privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch
I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantre Blender podcast and joining me as usual is the wonderful and hilarious
Ronnie Kerr from trashtalktv.com and the Roseprick Special Podcast. What's up Ronnie?
Well hello, Ben. How are you doing today? So good, a little late start on a Monday.
Yeah, well, we're getting a little late start because we did a little podcast session over with Brandy Glendville over at Podcast One.
And so that was fun. We went over to Beverly Hills for that.
Yeah, it was awesome. It was very unfelter to you guys.
It was unfelter with Brandy Glendville.
I think that episode's coming up either
it's be posted either this Friday or next Friday. Yeah who knows who knows but we just
gabbed about Bravo stuff and the random other junk insects. Rotes rats possums, you know, typical watch it, grappins discussion. Yeah, exactly.
So it was a fun time.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
So fun, I believe you're speechless.
I thought you were going to continue talking.
So I pressed mute to join Kadeik,
oh, I can lean back.
I was like, okay, Ben, you go mute.
No, I'm a man of few words.
I just today, I just, I just had, I
nothing else to say beyond that except it was a fun time. And if one should listen,
when that comes out, well, Ben's got a little coldly cold. Yeah. I did a lot of
traveling. I went to Austin and then I went to Oakland. And I went back in Los
Angeles. And I have a souvenir of a head cold that came with me.
He was texting last night. Like like I think I got this from the
Shaz. If anyone can pass germs through the TV, it's that cast. Oh my goodness,
seriously. I was sitting there last night watching this show, you know, dead,
you know, you know, because you know how the first day of a cold is, you know,
where you, you know, you have a fever or like half fever and you just feel like
shit. And for some reason you feel like you're not allowed to say,
you feel like you feel like shit because to say that you have a cold
almost sounds like a little nothing.
Like, oh, it's a cold.
It's a cold.
Well, guess what, I'm sick.
I'm sick people.
And I was watching it, watching the shots.
And I was like, I don't know if I can,
I don't know if I can watch this in my state right now.
This may be too much for me.
Well, do you have the perfect start to a serve in voice with your cold?
Yeah, I'm sure.
And before we start recapping shots, we should let everyone know that tickets continue to
dwindle away for San Francisco.
The VIP tickets are now officially gone.
They're a fish sold out.
There are still some regular tickets available, but they appear to be selling
about 10 to 15 a day. So I think there's probably only about 40 or 50 left. So if you want to see
us in San Francisco, at Social Hall San Francisco, on November 4th, you should buy your tickets now,
because when the time comes, there won't be no other tickets.
And we are going to have so much fun.
Yeah, we've had a lot of fun in all of our live shows,
so you don't want to miss out on our Bay Area show.
So if you live in the Bay Area, go get yourself a ticket, huh?
Go to watchrocrapins.com and find...
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
So go to watchrocrapins.com.
I'm gonna drive up to the sunset hills and overlook,
so I can break up with you guys on FaceTime
If you don't or do those tickets right away. That's right. Yeah
I'm just the mess. I'm running away from myself. I'm trying to buy myself tickets, but I just keep running away from myself
Hey, I'm gonna put it on the back of the bill carton. Where's me? Have you seen me? I'm missing. Where sure?
He needs to get to a concert concert but he's running away from so he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he Mike need to at least come up with a fresh rhyme. Yeah, the rest isn't even trying anymore.
So let's let's dive into this ridiculous episode, shall we?
Yes, let's please dig in. Just so you know, a watch from MJ is symbolic of time.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, MJ. Yeah.
It's my first. Yes, I like that Yeah. Yeah. It's my first move.
It's my first move.
And it's, yes.
I like that she gives a something that's figurative
and literal.
I've always got time for you.
So we open back in New York,
city ladies and gentlemen,
and it's time to go ice skating.
And we know the one who's sitting like,
no, I'm the one drinking something.
It's time to go ice skating. And we know, because the one who's like, no, I'm the one drinking something. It's time to go ice skating and we know because GG is like, are we really going ice skating?
Like yes.
And thank you for giving us the direction.
So we know what's going on.
The biggest shock here is that MJ used to figure skate as a six year old.
Yeah, this is surprising.
MJ, she figure skated as a hobby on the side, which I don't
think you can do that as a hobby in Los Angeles.
Well, just so we know it wasn't her profession at six years old.
Just so she doesn't give us all the wrong idea.
I mean, Tommy, of course, is like, she's so at the ammo, bro.
Yeah. So that's how Dorothy Hamill was dragged
down into this mess. Yeah. Dorothy Hamill's really escaped a lot of public scrutiny lately. Yeah.
Maybe cough. Yeah. We're all this Dorothy Hamill this, we all missed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like from the 80s. My stereo box, bra.
Yeah.
Or not, cheerio.
I don't even remember the name of the weedies.
Well, Mary Lou Redden was on the weedies.
I mean, Dorothy Hamill could have been there too.
I mean, we don't know.
I think Dorothy Hamill was slightly before our time.
Wasn't she more of 70s?
Yeah, I just remember as a kid like,
weedies boxes and there were always people
who were winning medals and they would be like,
look, I just want something and I was
like I have I want no place I want nothing to do with this thin cereal yeah I
think we were raised in the hey day of uh... of ice skating which is of course
Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding and oxana by you all
uh... and then christian gammaguchi and uh... of course those Canadian uh...
figure skaters who were robbed of
a medal because of some sort of nefarious thing going on with the Russian judge.
But that was more like around 2002.
Well, I think every ice skating person in our time has been robbed because all we can
really think of is Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding because you know, hired people to
beat her in the knee.
And then everyone was like, oh, but we love Nancy Kerrigan now.
And then Nancy Kerrigan got caught mouthing something bitchy about a fan on a float at Disney
Land or something.
What was that?
I, all I have to say is that once in a while, I think it will, it does us good to look
back on the Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding scandal and think back on how exceptionally wonderful
that scandal was.
Has there ever been a more amazing scandal that took place in the world of figure skating
and a climax at the Olympics with the entire globe watching?
I mean, yeah, that was pretty good.
I'm still rooting for Tonya Harding.
I think she had a good, and Jeff Galuli.
Jeff Galuli, yeah, everyone's name.
Yeah, Jeff Galuli was her guy.
I think he's the one who hit
Nancy Kerrigan with the thing, right?
Yeah, I think that was like the boyfriend of oh my god who cares. So Reza is like, oh, we're going ice skating
Let's call us in the car. Yeah. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. I'm pregnant babe
Yeah, so he's like hey, so we're thinking about having a winter wonderland snowflake balls to celebrate family. It's like what?
What is this body? It's like it's a celebrate family and also
crackers and cookies
winter time orbits gum
ballpoint pens, water filters, loose change, cranberry juice, oversized pillows, new broches and aren't shaped like octopies. Those plastic
things that they put in your collar when you buy a new button, that shirt. Did I already say winter?
So she's like, babe, I have no energy, babe.
Like, I'm hanging out with Braxton.
Braxton.
Braxton Hicks, babe.
Those contractions.
So like, babe, Braxton, babe, Braxton Hicks, babe.
Yeah, so yeah, she's basically like,
I'm tired, I can't do it.
And you know that the editors are just trolling us.
As if it weren't already evident all season long,
but they finding any possible way to troll her.
And then at one point, they put in the captions,
they put in a bracket to go long sigh.
Because you hear how to go.
Ah.
Sorry babe, that was the baby babe.
I have a baby by saying for two.
Yeah.
Ah. Ah. You okay? Yeah, it was both of us. Babe, babe. Babe, I signed for two.
You okay? Yeah, it was both of us.
Resa, oh, wait, here's my question.
Who is Braxton Hicks?
And why were contractions named after him or her?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna guess that Braxton Hicks
is probably two different people,
because you know how it's like Watson and Craig,
you know, that's always Duos.
Okay, I'm we look it up.
It's like Hicks contract.
It's a lot of just like a fraction Hicks.
We're gonna find out if it's one or two people.
Taylor Hicks.
Why doesn't Taylor Hicks have his own contractions?
Who is Pax and Hicks?
I want to know.
I don't know.
I want to know everyone just keeps talking about the I want to say who is.
Who is or is it who are.
That's what I want to know.
Uh oh.
That's from Shaw's English right there.
Okay, okay, okay, here we go.
All right, are you ready for this knowledge?
I'm ready.
Okay.
Brackson Hicks Contractions.
Hello, this is Ramona Singer here with some baby information.
Okay.
Brackson Hicks Contractions are named after the English doctor who first described
them in 1872. John Braxton Hicks investigated the later stages of pregnancy and noted that many
women felt contractions without being near birth, okay? Okay? Braxton Hicks, okay?
Braxton Hicks okay
Guys look at these carriages whoa that's so pushing
carriages are skating ice
Resa is the most excited narrator. I've ever seen I don't know what's happened to resa But it's every scene this season. He's like look a buffet is a street
Now toy gods made for three roads so resas resas is still
using his lame ass storyline trying to get asa he's trying to turn everyone
against but it's still not holding any water for me he's like I know why asa
doesn't want to come it has nothing to do with Braxton Higgs Austin doesn't want to come. It has nothing to do with Braxton Higgs.
She doesn't want to answer MJ and Mike's questions,
and they're not in a place to take the dodging.
I'm like, she's also like a hundred months pregnant.
Yeah, she doesn't want to deal with MJ and Mike.
They are toxic people.
Mike and MJ's questions,
what everybody's so worried about.
Mike and MJ'sJ.'s questions, what everybody's so worried about. Mike and M.J.'s opinion.
Exactly.
So they all get out on the ice.
M.J. looks sort of like the Penguin and Batman Returns,
which I thought was funny.
And then Resa, when Resa skating around,
I couldn't tell if it sounded like he was taking a shit
or a crime.
He was like, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm- What we haven't said we have hummus, okay like this is white people shit right here
Hey
MJ maris and we didn't talk. I think something slipped over your headed dinner Mike might still be in love with Jessica
Actually, I was MJ telling that to Gigi
No, it's like we have to talk. I think you didn't notice that that Mike Stone of
adjusts. Yeah, of course, because he wasn't the one who likes it. Let's end it. He was
the one who cheated on her and broke and she loves him. Yeah, let's break them up,
get them back together, break them up, get them back together. Yeah. And then Adam's
like, he just wants what he can't have. Like just sparkly gray eyelids. He's going
to force them.
I think Adams probably right too. I think Mike is the classic person, someone who wants
what he cannot have. For instance, sage advice about anything.
Hair that doesn't have coins bounce off of it.
It just comes out like that.
So we then go over to Venice, California, where Asa is,
she's in a car with her mom and she has cramps
and she's like, babe, getting in at a car is like misery.
It's like, well, I can't, my legs and my body get along,
just like, you know, the rabbi and the priest
and the Muslim guy in Israel, babe, what's wrong with my legs?
Yeah, why can't we be like my documentary babe instead of
Reza's Cry documentary?
Getting out of cars is like Reza's Cry documentary with plastic guns.
I want getting out of cars to be more like my documentary,
which is about me saying hello to my son and being like,
look, people in Israel.
Someone pointed out during that episode that everything was out of focus.
They're like really nice documentary awesome. So, awesome is like mom babe, babe mom. You want
to see what I babe boys up to? We're going to go to a room where we're going to see our little baby
mom babe. Yeah, so they go up to the doctor and the doctor is just telling us that to rest of
course.
And I was like, you know, one thing that we've discovered is that my friend environment
hasn't been the most loving.
And so doctors like, well, then you shouldn't hang out with your friends.
And I was like, see, even my doctor doesn't want to be around it.
No, your doctor didn't say anything about her not wanting to be around it.
She just said that you shouldn't be around it. My doctor just babe diagnosed the emotional toxicity of my babe friends babe.
She's like, I don't care.
Your baby's alive.
It's got a giant penis though.
And also it's like, yeah, it's so big babe.
Like it's I'm big into genetics.
Okay.
And this like goes back to the ancestors of the genes.
Like he's got so much genetics, my baby.
Like use me, but he's also a Jackson. Like he's got so much genetics, my baby. Like, he's me, but he's also a Jackson.
Like he's a dancer.
Yeah, he's like, it goes all the way back to your first ancestors.
So my son, who's Bix is going to have so much genetic input.
I'm like, he's going to have as much genetic input as anyone else.
He's going to have freezer burn.
She's like, it's a Jackson, The baby's like giving sign language asking for
oxy. Oh, awesome, babe. So even the mom's kind of sick of it. She's like, she
worked too much. Can we please go home? So back at the back at the place of New York.
Yeah, just got us take out again. Hershens love food. And this concierge knows it.
Nice trip to New York, you guys just sitting take out. But love food and this concierge knows it.
Nice trip to New York you guys just sitting takeout but thank you to that concierge for
keeping you away from the general public.
Well she also it's funny because Regen is like we have like a ninja concierge. She just
comes in and gets takeout. I'm like yeah she knows the moment you guys walk to that door
she wants to be out of there. She doesn't want to be around for any of this mess. She's
like here like there's a bunch of like takeout meals and hopefully that'll keep the
mocky part for the next two hours.
What every ninja is known for, a grub public count.
She's like a total ninja. And then I love that he's like, what is this lamb? I don't
like do lamb, okay? It has red things in it. Mike says it's Turkish.
It's your fucking lamb. Bro, you gotta like, you gotta be open to it.
You know, if you want a dominant man, you're gonna get some dominant lamb, bro.
That's what I say.
Is your lamb ego, your amigo?
I don't think so.
I don't even know how to make any rhyme stupid or the regular my crime.
So I'm just gonna drop out of that one.
Well, then they're all talking about how crazy it is that GG got engaged. make any rhyme stupider than the regular my crime. So I'm just going to drop out of that one.
Well, then they're all talking about how crazy it is that GG got engaged,
especially because they can only know each other for 12 weeks.
But you know, you need at least eight months to figure that person out. Like,
are they going to become Jewish or not? Like until they've had their head dunked in the Malibu water by by rabbi then like no
they have to know like if they're going to survive after the first time he cheats on her you know because that's what we do yeah i love Mike's rules yeah Mike cheated a million times and he's like
it's too soon okay Mike thanks so upstairs gg and shalom are on face time with shervin and uh
i feel like like hey shervin has to go and he's like oh it's all right
You know, I'm just gonna have to like go to a Raju's bar to shoot with destiny, which isn't like too cool
But look I got a laptop cuz I work from you know
TG's like I wish you were here really really really really look at my ring
Oh look at my ring didn't you just try and ruin this guy's life like two weeks ago?
Let him breathe.
Yeah.
He's like, whoa, whoa, jeez, that's amazing, jeez, jeez, oh.
OK, well, have a good time.
Bye.
I'm done for this episode.
So the next day, Mike is in a towel, feeling his hits,
like touching his nipples awkwardly.
Still with a full face with Mekka.
I mean, this guy's like a real housewife
coming out of the shower with great glitter. I should and full on brow makeup. I know I can't let it go, but I can't let it go.
Yeah, sorry. He's got some little teeth going on or something like that.
But yeah, MJ is like I want to turn up tonight and rest like,
girl, you haven't even turned down.
and rest like girl you haven't even turned down like this is what we're not in a hotel because in a hotel there's a turn down service and you can't even
turn down girl and JB Swervin Mike be Swervin Swervin be
Kervin now I'm flurvin look at the carriages
it's carriages!
Breakfast be swerven! Ninja can't see ours be swerven! The swerven breakfast!
Marcus giving me the silent dreaming because he doesn't want it.
Mid he went out last night swerven!
He took a page out of Swerven's book.
Marcus been swerven psyching!
Swerve psyching. Marcus? Marcus been phyki! Sparky's been swirfs like in... Swirfs like in...
Marquis, Marquis's been Fikey,
which is another word of say, Swervin.
Swervin is hard.
You've got to leave this room past the ninja concierge.
Stop yourself from eating possible lamb with red things in it.
Drive across the town, then get back, then go up the subway stairs and back down there.
Yo, it's like so icy out.
This entire city be swimming in the streets.
Yo, Chinese food.
Then the editor is throwing this shady clip and I'm not really even sure why they did
this, but since they're hating on MJ's dirty feet every episode this season, they're
like, here's a close-up of MJ throwing dirty socks into a corner.
Oh, these feet breathe and collect collect just So let's see those are sexy underwear who wears underwear like that unless you watch a
Swarvin the reason why I like that underwear was because it looked like Chevron pattern
It wasn't like diamond. It was sort of Chevron-esque the point is it was highly pattern
He's like whoa you made boxers out of my walls
it was highly patterned he's like whoa you made boxers out of my walls smell it GG smell deep into the crotch it makes like yeah GG smell the ball area and she
does like a nice breath deep and they're all laughing yeah and they're like so
Mike did you hang out with Jessica while you're in New York because she's in
New York too I don't even know if it was Reza who asked the question. I'm just gonna ask it in Reza voice.
That's like a welcome shame, huh?
So Gigi, see Gigi,
Gigi's pretty clever
because she had been on Mike's Instagram
and she was looking at pictures of his new dog
and then she noticed all the way,
like so small in the corner was this reflection
of Jessica. This was like some Michael Crichton shit. You know that reads like, oh it turns
out that the person in rising sun who like ruined everything for everyone, he like
changed his footage on the security footage and Judy found out that's Jessica. And she just like the worst detective for a series of her.
Like S is for Dada.
It's like S is for duh.
M is for Jessica.
That doesn't even make any sense.
Okay.
And she's, yeah, they're closing in on it doing all these
closeups. Like thank God she got that speaker in her ear.
Finally, I can hear now. Look, it's Jessica.
Yeah, exactly.
So now there are convinced that Mike and Jessica
are rekindling something.
So I mean, like their exes, of course,
they're probably banging on the side.
And who cares?
And who cares, honestly?
Who cares?
So also things not to care about MJ getting ready.
She's like, this trip is so different because like, New York is like coming home now.
Last time, I was in my head and now it's in my heart.
Did you not see the Ninja Concierge food?
Please, FF, FF.
So it's like, Marius, can I speak with you for a moment?
Shaktore, we never discussed that Mike kid middity is basically still in love with Jessica.
Oh my god, please stop already.
Please stop trying to so blatantly stir shit up you two.
And Gigi comes in and she's like, yeah, they're worried about what people will say.
And he's like, yes, embarrassed, like by, by the community, like, mostly it's the mom
because she's the most matriarch, like some white, some nice
white lady would say, okay, but persons are tribal and just has
lots to do to get the chief on her side. Like, what did she
do? She got cheated on? Yeah, exactly. Although she is, she's
pretty obnoxious in her own way, too, to be fair. Yeah, exactly. Although she is... She's pretty obnoxious in her own way too to be fair. Yeah, she wasn't like she wasn't just like some, you know, some
Paragon of
lovely
Feminine
Ideals or whatever. I can't speak English day. Okay. I haven't had cold. I'm sorry
Remember when Jessica told Mike to put his phone down during meals. Oh my god. What a bitch
No, she wasn't asshole. No, no, she had like in the tabloid she went kind of bonkers after that divorce. She was just being crazy and
I don't know. I don't think I don't think Jessica is so great either to be honest
But I mean Mike should not have cheated on her though. It doesn't deserve to be cheated on
But she's no great she's no great great shakes either, as they say. Yeah.
Yeah.
This is one of those shows where it's like, who can you even stand up for?
Like, who cares?
The concierge.
Yeah.
The concierge is all like that, that sweet little, you know, girl who once watched Daria as
a, as a, as a tween.
She's at home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's at home watching this cutting yourself with her ninja star.
Like, they didn't even get my lamb
They took effort. Okay. What do they do not what don't they understand about paprika these idiots making me look like a fool
She's just probably upset because she got fired after that because it was probably the productions the lunch that they came in an eight
Oh, look they put that on this feet for us. Okay, we'll take it
She's like I'm the these are the first guests. I couldn't get the stains off the couch from
I lost my job. The proof is like Janice. Could we speak to you for a moment? You're no longer needed
Off to Queens
Yay
And MJ's like I'm amazing in snow. You're wearing a mini skirt
So the music is like, I'm amazing in snow. You're wearing a mini skirt. Yeah. So the music is like, I don't really know why.
But I just love Tommy, and I'm so excited we get to meet his family.
He's like, that's my brother from another mother.
We're like related by not being related, you know?
Yeah, like this is Michael.
That's Anthony. And that's Sean McGuire. And that's Richie this is Michael and that's Anthony and that's Sean and Guaya and that's
Richie McGuire and that's Miriam McGuire and that's Anthony too and that's Anthony not
to be mixed up with Anthony and that's Bobby and Jimmy and Josie and Jimmy again and Anthony
and Michael draw brothers.
Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasive.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
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I'm about to excuse me, I'm just going to pass out for a moment.
I'm going to use it a lot of oxygen doing that that that was a lot with the cold yeah it was a
lot it was a lot it was a lot to watch and a lot to then regurgitate so they're
driving and Mike's like look look at that look at that spray paint it's like a
street artist it's, that's graffiti! Carriages!
And so, Reds is like, oh look, there's hot dogs and lasanias! That's what I was like.
Yeah, that's really where you want to get your hot dogs and lasanias!
It's a chokabattis!
Reds was like halfway out the door before we realized that Tommy was joking.
He was like, oh, sorry!
So, there's also like a little scene of Gigi and Shalom back at the townhouse, because he's like,
oh, I could do a really good Shalom impersonation today, because my nose is stopped.
So I gotta go back to Alora, I can't speak up for the Shalom Gigi.
She's like, okay.
You want to see the player?
Okay, I love you.
I understand it's gonna make him uncomfortable. I wish you would get over it
But you know it's acting and one day he'll be able to support me. Yeah
So then but we all by the way we also knew that he was gonna come to the show because in the previews of him in the audience
So this will be all new. This was just a big nothing. So then the rest of gang arrives at birdies or I'm sorry, brightest
in Queens.
And Resa was like,
Creed's what's up, Creed's?
Hello, Creed's.
This is so perishing.
So the parents, oh yeah,
so then we start getting Tommy's background,
how this is the family that took him
when his family passed away or whatever.
And MJ and Tommy are talking to this lady with the baby and Tommy's rubbing
the head and she's like, he has a heavy hand.
Just teach him to be gentle with the baby.
And some guys like, you got to have one.
That's the only way to learn.
You got to have one.
And it's so cute that they found a family willing to, you know,
go to MJ internationally having a baby. Yeah
Like it's totally possible. Yeah, yeah, exactly meanwhile resident cornerbink. What's the Queen's drink?
Okay, I like to order a shrimp basket a chicken teriyaki dumplings bacon stuffed potatoes
Matsu-realistic French toast bites cakes, deep fried crab cakes, sweet potato fries, parmesan fries, truffle fries, also some more wings and some mozzarella
wings and some bonus wings.
Thank you.
And they die, Coke please.
Oh, and sliders.
So MJ basically is bombing with all the friends.
Like you were titan and ask guy.
I'm an ask guy.
He's like, yes, the queen's thing.
That was apologies, bro.
Like, well, congratulations.
You've got both.
Yeah, exactly.
And then Resa's like, there's some girl named Kim,
who's at the bar with a giant glass of wine.
And I was like, are you swimming in it? Are you drinking it?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And Mike's like just checking you out.
Because she's like, yeah, I'm surprised that's big.
It's such a big glass right now.
What's going on, Mikey Poo?
Huh?
Are you married?
Because I hear you're married to a man with a very big penis,
but mine's bigger.
Just bring in the glass.
So Reza has like 20 plates of food around.
And then there's a gay sibling who's over there.
And Adam's like, are you gay?
Oh my God, what was that like?
And he's like, I fainted when I came out
because my family is such bitches.
I love the little Irish gay.
He's like just all, he's like just all the brothers, but you know with gay boys.
Yeah, exactly.
And then at one point MJ climbs onto the bar with Tommy to give a little talk about family
and being accepted and have wonderful Tommy's and all these people here that just came
into the bar.
And she's like, I just want everyone to know that.
And then Resa goes, my dip is hard.
Well,
Oh, this this crew. So let's see, nothing matters more than family. The day I came
to Howard Beach was the day I made connection with Howard Beach. You guys are my
family. Tommy's family is like a bowl of ice cream
with a brownie on the bottom and whipped cream on top.
And nuts in the middle, milk on the side,
a slider to dip into them, a side of ketchup,
possibly mustard.
Why not put mayonnaise on there?
Okay, stop.
Just everybody's talking about it.
I'm gonna have a heart attack
just watching this guy die my pussy. I know. I'm gonna have a heart attack just watching this guy damn episode
I know and then Tommy makes a toast and it just ultimately just winds up the entire bar going
family family family
family
Carried kids
Carried kids
Tommy take that first
Come see yours
Ninja
Come see yours
A friend is somebody called by name of a phone.
You're right and by letter or when you're alone.
When you're alone, it feels like home.
Throw me a bone.
Don't need a skull.
Look, all right, wrap it up.
Beans, beans, and good for the heart.
The more you eat, the more you're fat.
The more you're fat, the better you feel.
So eat beans in every meal with your family
so uh resist like are you coming to the pay and MJ stays in queen so in LA a
survey and is arriving at organic organic raw kins juice yes that's there's so much wrong with that
yeah so destiny with her mom and her family well it's actually your mom and her sister because juice. Yes, that's there's so much wrong with that. Yeah.
So Destiny with her mom and her family. Well, it's actually your mom and her sister because Destiny has
invested in a juice bar and you can see how how little the editors care for Destiny because they decided to give her some sort of character. We got to learn a little bit about her only on the
second to last episode of the season. Yeah.
Like, and this is why you're leaving.
Like little, little, little spinach balls, whatever he's trying to serve.
Exactly.
Oh, and here's a little inside into Destiny's life, too, by the way.
She has a juice bar.
You can take the girl out of the nightclub, but you can't take the nightclub out of,
it's like fast forward.
It's like, I wish I could have heard the end of that
because I was really fast-pated.
So, Sherman comes and he's like,
oh, look, it's me, it'll be supportive.
It's like, let's talk outside.
I was disgusted with you.
That was disgusting.
I wanted to bark on the floor.
Like, God, I just gave the, say hi at your relevant.
I mean, Jesus.
Yeah, he's basically like, well, you know, you know, I think I've just been running away from myself because my parents
they split up when I was, you know, after 35 years of marriage, they split up and I sort
of lost faith in everything, so I've decided that's what I'm going to say.
I'm going to blame everything on my parents and I'm running away from myself, but running
away from my parents because my parents split up and I don't know what I am. So if I said that, I was gonna make stuff emotional state
and you know if I said that, I apologize.
My bad.
I apologize.
Like my parents got divorced
and they never even told me they got divorced.
They lied about it.
And I was like, did you get divorced?
They were like, no.
And then I fed out a long time later that they did,
which is why I lied about stuff.
But then pretend I didn't later.
But then pretend I admitted it,
which I didn't, but do I have to eat this?
Please don't make me this.
I guess most of my way of saying I'd rather apologize and
fess up to tuning on Annelise than drink more of your terrible juice.
Thank you.
So reasons you know,
Shervin is not ready.
And he's just still a lying player because he says, he says all the typical things.
Sorry, I'm not perfect.
That's one of them.
And the other is, well, if there
was a magic wand, I could wave and go into a time machine and not lie to you, I would.
But right now, there's nothing I could do, but say, I'm sorry. So my bad. I'm sorry.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't have a time machine. He literally does. I wish I could say,
sorry, but all I could do is say sorry, so my bad.
Sorry, you don't understand me for not being perfect.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Anyway, great knowing you, Destiny. I'll see you next time on the Never Show.
Rockin, Zoosie, Goddamn.
Capital leader shows up.
You're like, what is God damn rockin, juice?
Why can't I get a regular juice?
Hey, guess what? I don't want my sushi to be doing.
Rock and...
If this sushi's a rock and don't go neck and...
So, Assa is at the babe store.
Dressed like a pregnant detective.
And because...
So this is a cruel moment here because
She's like babe. I'm gonna find Carmen San Diego babe, but first I was gonna buy some designer clothes babe
Hey, where in the baby is Carmen baby. I go. Hey Carmen
Babe you know it's great about Carmen baby. I go like she goes everywhere like she sees the world
She takes in all these cultures. She has like so much cultural input on her baby.
She's like the mystery of jeans, babe.
So, a germane still won't be.
I have Carmen Baby Ago after blowing my nose.
Now I'm putting it on mute while I blow my nose.
I was knowing she grossed out,
but I have to blow my nose now
because you made a booker appear.
Well speaking of people who have trouble blowing their nose,
Latoya Jackson's here.
She's like, hello dear.
This was so cool.
Latoya.
This was so cruel as I tweeted out last night.
Janet Jackson was playing at the Hollywood Bowl last night.
And that's, you know, the Hollywood Bowl
from is like a walk step.
But I can't do the phrases today.
I'm sorry, you know, it's close.
It's close by. It's a walk away. I can walk to the Hollywood today I'm sorry you know it's close it's close by
it's a walk away it's I can walk to the Hollywood Bowl okay it's like 17 sliders away
it's 17 sliders away I could have walked I could have seen Janet Jackson unfortunately I didn't
realize Janet Jackson was going to be playing last night until I got stuck in the traffic
around the Hollywood Bowl and on top of that I was sick as a dog last night. And I just was thinking to myself, if things had been a little different in my life, I could
be watching Janet Jackson instead of sitting here watching Latoya Jackson.
It's just not right.
This is where I think we're winning.
Yeah, maybe.
In that regard.
I think so.
How are we winning if we're the ones watching Latoya instead of Janet?
Because was Janet picking up horrible little clothes while Asa was being Carmen San Diego
saying things like that.
She was only earning $1,000 a dollar.
Thank you, dear.
Yeah.
So Asa, this is one of the things that drives me nuts about Asa and lots of other people
I'm sure, which is that for all of Asa's talk about, we're all human, I'm like a hippie artist, what yada,
yada, yada.
She's at this store and every single is a baby store, everything was like Prada, Versace,
you know, Armani, all these like top designers, like designer baby clothes where everything
costs you know like $400 for a stupid onesie. Yeah and they're like gold, you know, gold lamy, and you're like designer baby clothes, where everything costs, you know, $400 for a stupid onesie.
Yeah, and they're like gold, you know, gold blamings.
Like your baby decide he's gonna be an asshole.
Yeah, exactly.
Like your baby decide he's gonna be an asshole
and express that through his words.
Don't just dress your baby like an asshole.
Like, if I'm the fighting chance, you know?
Exactly, there was a close up on the price tags of the crib,
$7,500 for that crib, okay?
I don't know what crib's normally go for, but $7,500 seems to be too much. At that point, you
must just get a cardboard box. I'm way too. I'd be like, look, baby, you
say in the box. Yeah, I would totally do that. It's called put a pillow in a
refrigerator box. Okay. When you're old enough to feed yourself and you can climb
out of that box, you deserve to live, game. What you do is you is you order some like some gift basket from Harry and David's, eat all the
food and then you put a blanket in there and then the baby and then you're set.
So awesome.
I think even Latory is sick of awesome because awesome is like, well, babe, I need to take
off my babe jacket, babe.
My temperature is like crazy.
And Latory goes, that's because of the pregnancy.
Yes. Yeah. My doctor told me
my babe needs a huge jock strap babe. Baby say it. And then Asa says, excuse me, Asa says
she goes, babe, like the Jackson's are the most famous family in the world and like I want to be part of that family
yeah babe I'm like well I can't I can't you know I can't be mad at her for being up front you know
she just wants to be part of the most famous family in the world unfortunately I don't think the
jackson are the most famous family in the world like literally you can go to a village in
Afghanistan babe and they all know the jackson I know, I did a documentary there.
With a rabbi, a priest, a nun, and a dog, just for fun.
We all sat and listened to Thriller.
So then she tells us the meeting,
germane story.
Well, she's like,
before we get into that,
Assa talks about how people magazine called her up
to do a picture spread,
the whole family spread with
Dermain and the baby and Asa and Dermain just won't do it at all and Latoya goes
Well, yeah the entire family is that way and we like our privacy
Sins Latoya who's on reality TV. This is why you're the black sheep Latoya
Says the Jackson's who had their own
Reality show after like trying to sell a million other reality shows. Yeah, so the Jackson's who had their own reality show after like trying to sell a
million other reality shows. Yes, the Jackson's were famous.
So it's the Jackson's who are on stage like every night.
Yes, the Jackson's like we did just people magazine. Let's just say I'm the dad.
The twins like in it. She's like I'll sit in this crib.
Man, man, man, man, people. We all look the same. So just you know like she's my head.
I'll be fine. It doesn't matter if you're black or white. Did anybody hear that? Where's people?
I'm bad
I'm bad
I'm bad
Hey, Asa, do you remember the time when we fell in love?
Do you have some jelly or some jam?
Oh hey, who's that baby in the mirror?
Okay. So I'm looking at her, dude. So then Asa tells us about her meeting. Yeah,
her big love story. She's like, I saw Jermaine in high school and her eyes locked,
but then he didn't talk to me. But like I knew I would be with him forever. And then like 10 years,
10 years later, I was at the Apple Babe and I felt his presence. And then he came up to me, but like I knew I would be with him forever. And then like 10 years, 10 years later, I was at the Apple Bay, and I felt his presence.
And then he came up to me with blueberries.
And then we went to the beach in Malibu, and we saw the moon.
And then we passed a white fox on PCH.
Everything was like an old man.
Well, to be fair, specifically, she said that when he walked up to her, the Apple store,
there's waterfall of gold diamond water came over me,
which is hilarious because it's a gold or a diamond.
I'm not sure.
And then she goes, he came over with organic blueberries
and we spent eight hours listening to music.
And so the key thing here is that this alone is ridiculous.
But the editors were like, fuck it,
we're gonna have some fun. We've been stuck on this show, fuck it, we're gonna have some fun.
We've been stuck on this show for six years, we're gonna go crazy.
And they turned this entire story into a psychedelic montage of like crazy, you know, like clip art.
Yeah, the video, very kaleidoscope.
Because when she said that she was in the Apple store, they show the Apple logo,
and they do like a kaleidoscope of osacophic
caftans in the background.
And then they show like a waterfall and then they had these blueberries falling onto the screen.
And then the blueberries turned into a kaleidoscope.
Oh, isn't she trying to sell liquid gold or something because she lost her pregnancy weight in eight days.
People online are like fuck you bitch.
A, that that picture is photoshopped.
And B, like this montage,
she's just gonna fit all of her products.
She's like golden, liquid, golden diamond water,
caftans fell over me.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
It was actually one of the most amazing things
that has ever happened on Shaza Sunset.
And it came out of nowhere.
We're just watching, like,
what is happening right now?
But what does all that stand for? You saw someone from high school in an Apple store.
Yeah, and he brought it with an omit. And your store is bullshit because who who brings
organic blueberries into an Apple store?
Please don't let Dremain Jackson bring organic blueberries into the Apple store. Like I feel
like he's become so likable by refusing to be on this show.
Don't ruin it for me, okay?
Walking around white blueberries.
This is a white fox in the middle of P.C.H.
three in the morning.
It was a plastic bag.
What was someone's dog?
It was probably the possum
that you were just talking about on Brandy's podcast.
It was Nick Nolte.
It could have been Nick Nolte.
I'm talking Nick Nolte. I've seen Nick Nolte in a bathrobe
and he is not unlike a possum. Yeah, when you're a possum face, he's got like possum body.
He's got possum life. When you're driving home from moon shadows, three in the morning
in Malibu, you see all kinds of shit, Matt Pog. Yeah, they just saw Mel Gibson. Yeah, it's Mel Gibson, Yellow and Jew, things at a cop.
We saw this white fox and it was shoulder-assisted and so
anti-semitic, but we felt like it was still a sign.
So I never watched this movie and then that white fox was there again and
it was like, whoa, babe, it's crazy.
It's like the apocalypse and there's the white fox.
So Serven has been cut out from the group because he has to stay home
So now he's like, well, I can't do everything in a goddamn rack and sushi place
So I'm gonna drive up to the over the and have a romantic scene with my gorgeous car
And I mean FaceTime Analyze
Because I wasn't ready like she's just an opportunity to keep one foot in and one foot out
But like she has feelings and I've just realized like you know, sometimes it's about other people's feelings.
Yeah. So we then began a horrifically staged and fake scene of me like, so Annelise, well,
this is Shervin, your boyfriend, and I wanted to say that, like, I've come up here on a Mulholland Drive just to tell you that, like,
yeah, my friends have held me accountable, and yeah, my bad, and, you know, I did some of those things, but, you know,
um, anyway, your turn. And she's like, well, I can't hate you for being honest. And when you say that you can't fake it, that really hurts.
And also, I'm mad.
And if I would walk away if I could,
but I'm already in Australia, so I'll just stand here.
And also, if I keep walking, I'll be on FaceTime anyway,
which means you'll be walking with me
with the kind of to destroy the point
Good so I guess we're sort of like figured out that like
I admitted nothing no this sure that never said I cheated on you a million times and got called out for it
He's like my fans held me accountable so I'm breaking up with you. Yeah, wait a minute
Wait a second. This is also later
He can be like they switched in the editing and I broke up with you and then I set with people. What's the big deal?
We weren't together. Yeah, exactly
So he's basically like I don't think I'm ready to go this next step. So anyway
I'm just gonna drive off right now and so he they're like all right the boy and and then they like hang up and then he like
Drives he just busy drives off and the camera zooms in on the towers of century city like
a broken heart tonight. Now I understand my own feelings.
Well, wow, you're really ready for a relationship.
And at least I brought you here to the scenic view of century cities that way you would know what true heartache is. Uh, Annalise. Also, I love that she's like in a scene study class, because I wouldn't
force anyone to be with me. You need to figure out the why.
Okay, Annalise.
It's like, well, actually I did try to figure it out. And it turns out that their membership
is like $35 a month, which I think is pretty reasonable. So if you're interested in doing
a couple of things, even though we're breaking up, I would be into that.
Then it's like coming up after the commercials of Gigi. My fatigue is sweating.
What do people think when they're watching this show for the first time?
They think that America should be bombed.
So at the theater, the guy at the theater is like, are you ready? You are gonna be on me.
Yeah, I'm gonna be on me.
This is like in one of those little tap dance rental rooms.
You get upstairs at the Broadway dance center for like $500.
Yeah, because the folding chairs.
Yeah, this was then this director was a bit much.
He was he was definitely on 10 and this production is definitely on three.
So everyone's there, and guess what?
Shalom is there.
Socker.
And then Mike is like, Mike is like, I don't get it.
It's not romantic, it's just stupid.
I'm like, actually, I think this is more of a romantic thing
than anything that you've ever done, Mike.
Mike is so, I'm not ever sure what Mike is talking about.
He's like, this is stupidity mixed with bipolarism.
Which I mean, yes.
It says the guy who shoved his girlfriend out of a plane
and was like, really marry me?
I want to be together forever, push her out of a plane.
Like, play it a minute, I'm getting mixed signals here, buddy.
So, Salon goes backstage and they giggle very deeply,
how they love each other.
And she's like, most guys would have left,
but he showed up and he put a ring on it,
so he can get away with it.
What a touching relationship.
Now, the best part of this is Adam sitting in the audience.
Well, two things.
First, Resa is like, Gigi is in a play about rolling in the hay.
Oh my god, Tommy's poetry.. It's I can't let it go
He's like a brother from another mother. I love the theater. Moliere be Swerven
Chekhovs Swerven Chekhov
Ibsin you better slow your row. You're swirving too much
Swirving Lloyd Weber
Do you like that I got from Ibsen to Andrew Lloyd rubber long days? We're in tonight
So Adam starts reading her bio if the thing and he's like wait a minute
Called that's a gg was an accomplice gymnast and trained for placement and an Olympic team in Atlanta.
What the frick?
Between that and MJ saying that she was a figure skater when she was younger, I really
have to question these strange lies they're coming up with.
Why are they all circled around Olympic sports?
GGs is the best because it says she trained for placement on an Olympic like which okay, which I train for yeah
I trained to work at Bard's in Noble one so I'm a fucking author
I did some summer solves in my youth so I guess I was training to be
Placed on an Olympic team. Yes. Yeah, you don't get to put that on your fucking play bill.
Of course, it's not really a play bill.
Yeah, it's like, I just play in, hey, Bill.
I just play in, Bill.
So, Russ is like, what?
Your crew should know about the Olympics.
Was this bitch on a space shuttle, too?
Bitch be like, da, da, da, da, da, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da My face is sweating. Yeah. You're classy, so. Yeah, exactly.
So, um, so Resa started saying how Gigi is refurbished.
She's like, have you ever, hey, who, who here has been refurbished?
She has got into this refurbished.
It's like it works well.
Like they fixate in the factory, but you always think yourself,
bitch, can't break any time soon.
That's what Gigi is like. She's like refurbished.
She's like a regular Gigi, but she she's like fixed but she got smack a hole.
It's like if someone took herish drug it was like go back to the factory and come back as Chi Chi. That's what she is.
Made in China. I don't know what that means but it really is on her resume.
Chi Chi. I trained for the Olympics. I made in China. I'll send the president
And I want to know Belle piece prize. She's just coughing random things she sees on her coffee table
She's like Arctic Freeze wait a minute
Diet Arbus wait, that's like you Gigi
Nell file. Wait a minute. Gigi loves to hold
little babies in lettuce cups. What? So, the big tension in this scene is like,
dun dun dun dun dun dun. Was Shilohm get mad when Gigi kisses a gay guy on stage who's
wearing a strap on. Like, after seeing even two seconds of this terrible bullshit,
I want it to get up and just beat the shit out of everybody. Lord knows they deserved
it. I think Mike had the best idea, which was just falling asleep. That bitch has been
swerving. Look how he's asleep. Like he's been on a diet of diet, so it isn't worse. So Gigi's on stage and she's doing her thing.
She's spinning grapes into something or another.
And then it's like, okay, now it's time for the kiss.
The big kiss.
What will Shalom do?
What will Shalom do?
Commercial break.
Now we're back.
What will Shalom do?
And it's like, it's fine.
Shalom's all happy to learn to give a hand job.
He's like, well, I hope she does that at home.
Um, Gigi, this was so good because Wes is like, well, this is a new Gigi. She is not
curing cancer, but at least the bit started something and finished it and that's when it
cuts to her spitting out chewed up grapes.
Yeah. New Gigi spits out her grapes. Oh, G seven grapes see what I did there that's so
Persian
Reafoon
So that's basically it right yeah they do a little toast to GG at the end and yeah
Triumph and now next to the atom goes they're all clapping and Adam goes our little
Olympian
Now I could say I was scratched by an Olympic cat.
Chained for, chained for. So good. So that brings us to the end of this. We'll be back
tomorrow with a little real haze wards of Orange Gainny. Yes, we certainly will. And then
on Wednesday we have Dillus. This, that we we have JZ and Friday we have below dick.
Below dick?
And in the meantime if you don't know what to do with yourself, you can follow us on social
media or bit of yet.
You can buy us some tickets to our San Francisco show.
It'll be quite nice.
You can do it.
Yeah, do it.
To get those tickets just go to watchwitcraftens.com for all our links.
We're going to be going on tour to a lot of places, so keep checking back and watch what
crapins.com.
Yeah, we'll let you know every time we book a place, so we're trying to go all over this
good country of ours.
This land is your land, this land is my land, okay?
Yeah, okay, okay, we're going to count.
Hi everybody!
Hi!
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