Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Bringing the I to Israel
Episode Date: August 8, 2017Shahs offends all of Israel, but don’t worry, they also offended the rest of us. ALSO ANNOUNCEMENT! Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 L...ive Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Families and yeah with the gorgeous Ben Mandelker of the beside blog and the banter blinda hello bean
Well, hello there Ronnie. how are you on this fine
Monday morning. I'm like perfectly like away. Glad to be sober but still exhausted from not being
you know how good. Not really hunger like happy but also miserable but in a good way does that make
sense? Yeah 100%. I'm actually a little sleepy today.
So I feel like what's gonna happen is
we're gonna get me saying a lot of unfiltered things
because I'm gonna be a little too sleepy to sort of
figure myself out.
Or you make it a lot of me rambling.
So who knows, everyone.
Let's see what happens.
See, that's buckled.
I hope it's not filtered so we can have apology Tuesday.
Oh, I love apology Tuesday. Oh, I love apology
Tuesday. Yeah, I like being really mean and then saying sorry later. I'm becoming a bravo
person. Yeah, we have it. We have our own phrase, which is apologize next Tuesday. And we
stopped saying the seaworth and now we're just saying it and apologize next
Tuesday. We're seeing next Tuesday's who and we apologize. We see you next Tuesday and then apologize
the Tuesday after next. So A T T and attention. Hey, speaking of attention. attention. Okay, we have a big
announcement to make I feel like I should have more energy to make it because it's really exciting
Wait, it's it's both in an announcement and an apology because we tease that there be two announcements today
But we're going to push the second announcement to tomorrow. So it actually
Announce next Tuesday. It's at the other end.
We're going to do all we're going to do the surprises out one by one.
Yeah, no, we have we have we have minor minor hiccup.
But we but tomorrow it will be officially announced the announcement tomorrow.
So the first announcement is we lied.
The second announcement is the second announcement is okay, so we've been talking about our LA show
on Labor Day weekend, which is September 2nd.
It's our biggest show, it's huge.
It's like that place holds like 500 people, 600 people.
Yeah, it's a lot.
And we thought, God, we should have a guest just because...
I don't know, last time we did and it was really fun.
But sometimes it's fun to hang out with people.
And especially when we get to actually
meet people that we like here.
Yeah, well, we also have two hours to fill.
So we were like, okay, we're going to do the first hour.
We'll just be, just be Ronnie and I recapping scary islands.
So there will be just a pure watch or crap and experience for the first hour, but we're
like, we have in a whole other hour to have fun with.
Yes.
And that hour will be filled with.
Jeff and Gage and Jenny from flipping ads.
We're going to have a little flipping out panel.
Yeah.
That's Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenny Poulos.
It's not and we were we were thinking we would just get Jeff, but we have all
three of them
This is like the cast of flipping out are going to be on our live show
We were so excited. They don't do live shows
So this is gonna be so fun for them
We've we've seen them for years over at Leigh's house
But you know, I've talked about on this show. I've always been scared to go talk to Jeff
Yeah, because you know he scares me. I've seen his show and And then finally, this year, I was like, this is stupid.
And then, of course, we all loved each other and laughed our ass.
We've been laughing our asses off all summer.
So after our show in New York, I was like, you have to experience what that's like.
You know, you never see people in real life.
You have to do it.
Yeah.
So not only is he like, cool, I'll do it.
He wasn't like, oh, is it going to be cool? How will I be able to see him? He'll be like, oh, yeah. cool, I'll do it. He wasn't like, oh, is it? Is it gonna be people who can be cool? How will I be received? He'll be like, oh, yeah, no, I'll do it.
And he I was like, and we'll talk beforehand about what's off limits, whatever we want to make sure, you know, you're come
We don't want to like, you know, it's our guest and so I want to make sure what's on like off limits
What can we discuss? He's like, you can ask me anything. I don't care. Yeah, so anyone he said I just don't want it to be a commercial Yeah, I was like, oh, it's something and he's yeah, he's like you can ask me anything I don't care. Yeah. So anyone who said I just don't want it to be a commercial.
Yeah.
That's right.
I want to promote something.
And he's, yeah, he's like, he's like, honestly, that's very nice.
If you'd ask if we want to promote something, but we just want to make sure you guys have a good show.
So it's like, I mean, like I literally can't.
It's so what a blessing, a blessing.
What a blessing.
Those guys are hilarious and they're really fun to hang out with.
So if you have not gotten your ticket yet, get your damn tickets.
Yeah. And if anyone saw Jeff Lewis on Watch Your Happens Live last week with Bethany
Frankel, you saw him go off on Heather DeBro. And I'm fairly certain there's probably
a lot more of that, you know, where that came from. So we actually think that you definitely
get your tickets now because Jeff Lewis is a superstar, okay. And of course Jenny and
Gage too, but Jeff is a superstar. So we don't even know how we even agreed to do this,
but it's amazing. So get your tickets, come to the show, it's going to be a maus-ing.
A maus. Okay, so let's get on with our show, shall we, Bane?
Yes.
Let's go talk about some people who are not coming to our live show.
The show's awesome.
Oh, holy, oh my God.
Although secretly, MJ showed up.
I wouldn't be mad.
MJ, I wouldn't be mad, but I would be slightly terrified.
Oh, all of them.
Not of MJ.
Not of MJ.
Vita, maybe. Vita showed up with her ping pong headband ready to go. of the MJ not a MJ um
Vita maybe
with her with her ping pong headband ready to go
I hear there's ping pong here
Oh what you think you doing with your microphone
you don't do that
Let's say to disan the ping pong table
You are son of a whore
so uh Shazasonset You are son of a whore. So
Shaws is nonsense now are sons of four bastards or are sons of whores only bastards if they didn't get married before they
Have the baby or are they bastards if they have the baby or get pregnant right after they horse X
Yeah, I don't know
So the thing Shz is asking us today.
Yes, we always thought it was a bastardly show,
but we didn't realize how literal that expression would become.
So we open with one of the most disgusting mixes ever.
Adam and Reza walking into a fertility clinic while passing a sandwich shop.
I'm like, don't ruin babies and sandwiches for me in the same scene, please.
What sandwich shop was it?
I didn't even notice was in the subway.
You know, I have a rule with Shaws, which is not to ever rule behind.
I find if I press pause or rewind, I just, I'll just get too angry and throw something
at the TV.
So it's just plays, you know, bitch know bitch be like I can't turn back time share
That's so Persian just go forward get a sandwich before the fertility. That's like so white girl girl
Which way like Persians always know which which it's more like a Persian job
It's just be called which because we know
That's so Persian
Resa had a very good point in this fertility clinic, okay?
They walk in there is shelving made out of old files, which you know sounds cheap, but it was really well done
It's very artistic. Yeah, and he had a good point. He's like, I look at all this art and I'm like, this bitch be buying this art with my baby money.
I just like that when he sat down. He goes, wow, look at all your desk and chairs.
He's like, you're gonna charge me an arm and a leg, aren't you?
Yeah. He's like, you have great taste. And he's like, well, well actually I'm married and I have been as a designer and
He has a great taste and we're so sick. Oh my god
Not only does his wife have good taste. I've got to support both of these good taste bitches girl
Bitches be like I want the expensive shit and my right bitches. That's what you'd be like like be bitch
Wait this desk is $10,000?
This art fetish queen gonna be spending my baby money, girl.
How many broaches could I get for that money?
And the doctor's like, so what do you want exactly?
He's like, well, we want two eggs, and then we want to put our little fishes into different
ones, and then a side of
salsa and a grants lamb. Wait a minute, how did this go into ordering for denies?
Whenever my hammy am I right? Spurm be like, well my eggs at bitch. Resas so romantic, the doctors
like so you want to both be fathers eventually. And he goes, I didn't want that genius.
Your kids are going to be watching this one day.
Yeah.
So we find out that to do a surrogacy plan
at the low end is going to cost $120,000
at the high end up to like $160,000, which is a lot of money.
You know, it's an exorbitant amount of money if you ask me for you know because we're just
Lowly podcasters. What do we know girl? What my gay friend who has a baby? He had to go on game shows to win that money
That's a game show baby
Yeah, I'd like to see Resha
Whistlerion mark bitch.
What is I don't know what is the person man got to do to get a baby around you? Am I right Alex?
This game show is so white girl they're giving me all the answers.
I'd like to buy a vowel but can it be for free because I'm sending it for a baby bitch.
I'd like to solve the puzzle.
Bitches be like, what's happening?
Am I right?
Uh-uh.
What?
There wasn't even a B.
There wasn't even a B.
It's like 125 grand for a dumb baby, okay?
I gotta pay more for a Harvard bitch.
So then Adam, they cut to Adam in a view.
And he is been fully styled by Reza because
he's wearing this like highly patterned blazer with a brooch and it sits weirdly on him.
He kind of looked like a lost member of Mr. Mr. you know and he's sitting there and he's
like well I think that Reza is really stingy because that money, he's always like that
money could be used for a G-Wagon and I'm'm like, a G-Wagon can be broken down.
And don't you want something that can take care of us
when we're broken down?
White girl.
It's like, oh, I don't know.
Yeah, he's like, look, as we get him.
Yeah, he's like, think of your future nurse, okay?
Someone who you sent through Harvard will take care of you.
And poor people will just try and get you to sign over your,
you know, power of attorney and take all your shit.
While you still alive, do you want to die in a state run home?
That's a very strong argument to a person.
Yeah, but at the same time,
why do you think you'll be broken down?
It's because you'll be taking care of your kid.
Yeah, Adam, you're gonna be taking care of him.
They'll probably break themselves down on the,
on the round.
Never mind.
I've seen this show.
The car that breaks itself down.
The juic.
It's like I'm so sick of being driven by an asshole.
I refuse to start until you saw me.
Bitch told me I was the weakest link,
but it was worth it because I got a baby out of it.
At least he say goodbye
Adam's crying I had to tell people for three months. I was mod by a dog not Ann Robinson
Speaking of how the poor stupid babies will just let you die alone Let's go to MJ in the old folks home with her dad. He's had a stroke
She's like hey, dad. I'm in my once my oncey with my tit sticking out the old fucks
Brought you some porn to put up next to childhood pictures of me. Oh, by the way
I'm so sad that you're dying, but I've decided to go on a party vacation with my friend, you know
This had this in tragedy really reminds me how there's no time like now to just take a selfish vacation
Yeah, hey advice for me when I go to Israel, he's like, please find a Jewish friend.
It's like find a good Jewish boy.
That's not Mike.
Who can like put you on this right now.
Thank you.
Yeah, please find a friend like who's a doctor or something.
Please stop being friends with like real estate agents
and use car salesman.
How about that?
Yeah, please find a friend whose face is not on bus stops and like tourist buses passing by.
Thank you. And then MJ is talking, you know, she's showing like, she's like showing pictures of her
dad when he was younger and everything and she's saying how she really wants to have a baby, like she
wants to have a son so that way her dad can see the son and see himself in the sun and I was like,
fuck you MJ. I am sitting here totally making fun of you and now you have me crying. I'm so mad
Why could you why are you doing this to me? This is Shaza Sunset. Don't make me cry. Oh, I didn't cry
Because she's like I want to have a baby so I could just put it on his chest and I'm like you just don't like that gown
You know
It's just trying to give him like a decent a good thermal. I just got to how because I was like that could be our parents someday and what a nice thing for a parent to see.
I just like, I had like a very quick mini-spiral that thankfully was broken as soon as we like went over to a shop, a shop, a place with Gigi and Shalom.
Yeah, I don't, I don't feel things on this show.
Yeah, Gigi and Shalom. So he
go he does that thing where he steps inside the door to open it for her. And she's
like, he went in first. Oh, yeah, Gigi, always looking for a gentleman. Yeah. She's the queen
of Queen of etiquette. Just looking for a real gentleman, you know?
Yeah.
That's what she deserves, you know?
And if I were as better versed in classical literature,
I probably could make a very good reference right now.
But I can't because he's a lot of energy.
Yeah, no, there's no literature at the corresponds to a GT personality.
Nothing.
There's nothing really.
Frankenstein.
Yeah, it's like, yeah. I
mean, you know, her initials are gone girl, but she's too stupid to even play that out.
I met this guy this weekend named Ed, who was so funny. And he's like, she gone girl
that shit. And I was like, I love that phrase. Gone girl. And if I ever steal it, I will
give you credit. Yeah. Well, you just did it. Yeah. The I ever steal it, I will give you credit.
Yeah.
Well, you just did it.
Yeah.
But didn't steal it.
Just said that you said it.
But you were just realized because he said that that GG is really literature, you guys.
It's gone girl.
Yeah.
Gone girl.
So just like literature.
Just really shitty literature.
You buy at the airport.
Yes.
So or when you're just depressed and want to eat a pizza, not think about it.
So she's like, do you, you went in first, okay, drink stat. It's like Jesus, the waiter's like, oh, good.
They're like putting arsenic in the water for the Shabu Shabu. So they introduce Shalom to the parents. And she's like, I'm too nervous, I want to fart.
It's so funny, right?
I want to fart.
He's like, he's easy to write out of an e to the word novel.
Am I right?
So, yeah, Gigi is, she's nervous because she's never introduced a guy to her parents, or
she rarely does it.
Now, we get this flashback of Gigi's exes.
Exes we have known and loved,
and there was that really nice guy who she got rid of.
There was that guy Sean with the pretty face,
who she got rid of, and then we got to see Omede,
and my heart went afloat her,
because I always thought Omede was so hot,
but then the editors, of course,
being the kind souls that they are,
they let us see Omede, let out his awful, awful lap.
He's like,
and I was like,
ooh, that's right. I forgot about that. That's why you're will always profound to be very unsexy.
Then he rips off his face and he's like,
Shan and Bidora being happy.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Game of Thrones, Brava style. happy. Ha ha ha ha.
Game of Thrones bravo style.
So she's like, yeah, I've never introduced anybody to my parents.
Like you're a special and you need to prove to them that you can carry me out of here
and smooth things over with the cops and get me home safely when the time comes.
Yeah, basically.
Yeah, more or less.
So yeah, we're learning you know,
Gigi's saying things how Persian Jewish and Persian Muslims don't really mix very well.
And who knows how her parents are going to react. She's like, oh, my parents.
I'm like, your parents have been dealing with you for years. You think now is the time they're
going to put their foot down? They've never put their foot down ever. They actually sacrifice
a lot for you to be this dumb of a spoiled whore.
Okay.
This is like your American dream, discussing them on the inside, but also proudly coming
through on TV.
Yes.
And they walk in and her mom for team is like, hi.
And it's like, does this look like the woman, a woman who is going to be mad about her daughter
dating someone in Shalom?
I don't think so.
No, she's just like, finally, yes, she has someone to stab at.
It's not a family member. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we learn a little bit about Shalom. He was born in Israel.
He moved to Germany. He's been the US for the past 14 years.
He speaks Farsi. He speaks German. Oh my god.
His mom, her mom was so excited. She's like, so you know languages.
And he's like, I know far see Arabic Spanish English German Russian
Checkers I can play checkers to she's like, oh my god
I love it because I know all the cultures. That's I'm used to living around all the cultures
They're like where needs Hollywood
Yeah, we are too one of our listeners
Message us and said something about how he used to date one of the girls who worked
at the Kardashian store and they had their own spin-off show
on E. So I don't personally care because I'm not,
I don't partake in the Kardashian extended universe,
but I know that there are people who do
and I know we're gonna get a bunch of tweets. I mean mean like, did you notice that he is dating so and so from
the Kardashian store?
Yeah.
So I did not notice that.
I didn't notice it either.
I'm out there.
Um, and again, at the same party where I met that guy, um, they were talking about, they
started going into this Kardashians talking everybody.
It's a girl.
Can you believe this?
And then, you know, they looked at me for a response because it's where when I'm quiet.
Yeah.
And I was like, I'm sorry, but no.
Okay.
I drew a line with that shit and I'm keeping it there.
Yeah.
Even someone who loves Bravo and Big Brother has to draw a line.
You know?
Yeah.
And that's it.
Like, I love that line.
I think that's such a great line that we both have,
that we just don't mess with the Kardashians.
We don't go in. We don't know it. We don't get involved. You know, the life of Kylie premiered last night, I think that's such a great line that we both have that we just don't mess with the Kardashians. We don't go in. We don't know it. We don't get involved.
You know, the life of Kylie premiered last night, I think, didn't watch it. Don't care. What is the life of Kylie? I don't know. It's probably as interesting as a piece of meat in the Shabu Shabu. Honestly, I don't care.
Exactly. But girl, Queens love it.
Queens. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I don't know a lot of gay people. This sounds, this may sound strange.
I don't know a lot of gay people who watch Kardashians.
I watch gay people watch Bravo.
Like every gay person I met, they watch Bravo with a watch big brother.
In general, or they watch Bachelor, not a lot of Kylie stuff comes up for or a Kardashian stuff.
The only reason I didn't even know Kylie is because she had all those little kids blowing up their mouths when she was like, yeah, bigger lips with a vacuum cleaner, whatever.
Yes.
That's just election.
Yeah, that's just election.
That's just the destruction of the human race, you know, they're just all sucking their
souls at and having exploded lips because of a dumb, you know.
Yeah.
The closest we get to Kardashians is when basically real house is a Beverly Hills anything with David Foster or
Linda Thompson, you know, that's that's when we start to interface a bit or you know course
Yeah, yeah, exactly so we'll we'll we'll approach
Kardashian, but we we we don't actually indulge in it. Yeah, we'll approach it
We don't actually indulge in it. Yeah, we'll approach it quietly with a big stick.
And then we'll have a couple of minutes.
Now, Kylie Jenner wants to come on to our show
as a special guest, by all means, she's welcome.
She's welcome.
She's welcome.
She's not welcome.
She's welcome to my show, like either Putten Jail
or on vacation or something.
You can talk about this.
If Kylie Jenner wants to be our special guest
for our live show with Jeff Lewis, that's fine with me. You know, her, her aunt's history is obnoxious enough and they actually had to work for it.
I'm not even going to deal with the spama that knew.
I feel like if Kylie Jenner came on to our live show, we would basically turn into Martin
Short as Jim and E. Galeck and be like, so, who are you again? I just leave the stage and let Jeff deal with it.
Well, that would be, that's why she should come on,
because Jeff Lewis would probably just this rate her.
Yeah, let's just bring a lot of dumbasses on for Jeff to shoot down during the live show.
Because Jeff is, he is, he he is when he shoots people down
He does it in such a high level way because he toys with them for a good amount of time He sort of circles around like a cat playing with it's he literally looks like a cat when he's doing that
You can see him do it like he's very brave and you can see him with this little smile on his face
Because he's not gonna just give you a cheap joke like me. I'll just pick the most obvious thing not him
You know get to know your insides and eviscerate your soul, okay? Yeah. He's like the alien
from alien. Yeah. He just, he gets in there and then just explodes out of your chest. Yeah,
he's my hero. Okay. So, uh, Shabu Shabu. Yeah. The mom shabu. This is great. Do you speak
languages? Do you fix things? Because obviously you're doing a good job with this broken
ass. GG. You wanted to say broken hoe, didn't you? I did, but I've said,
whore like 10 times today, who am I? I don't know. It's some things in the air, because we
we started talking about great issues. So something, ho wishes in the air. We also move from MJ to Gigi. So to Shabu Shabu. So everything has
a rhythm of quality to it. Basically, the dad says after Gigi spills water on an open
wire, which, you know, which is a sign from God. This was like final destination. If this
was this was some final destination shit right here, Gigi avoided death and now they should all be afraid in his real.
Death was like fuck, I'm Mr.
Gigi says I'm not going to be electrocuted. Okay, I'm not sitting back there. I'm like,
you have escaped electrocution so many times like you know she should have been on death row
like a million times that we just don't know about. I feel bad for death actually because you know death was like, guys, I figured it out.
I know exactly what I'm going to do for Gigi. Okay, this is how we take our goal Nessa.
Another thing like playing crash or overdose or whatever. No, just something real random.
Like she's eating Shabu Shabu and then some water falls over and she gets electrocuted
while she's doing Shabu Shabu. How hilarious is that? And then go all of death friends like oh my god
You totally have to do that doesn't know. I'm gonna do it watch watch watch and then she survives and he's like
Fuck
The dad is like your life still
Saloma's Jewish right you know on my opinion about dating Jewish people and it's like
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
commercials for like laundry
It's like dun dun dun dun dun. Commercials for like laundry,
and depression pills.
I'm like in, you know,
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know.
Shabby, you know. Shabby, you know. Shabby, you then here we are right back in the death like, I don't care.
I love Jewish people.
And she's like, oh my God, I was scared.
Just why I brought this knife to stab my father if I had to.
Let's, let's see how the conversation goes with Shalom's parents.
How about that?
Let's see how that shot.
We go because I bet it'll be a little different.
Can't wait. Can't wait. So then we go to ossa in some cluttered ass store and of course ossa's like hey babe
You guys have baby stuff also?
Oh my god, it's a crib store of course that baby stuff you just want to renounce that you're pregnant to the sales lady
She's like hey says lady babe
This is a baby store right because I have a friend who's having a baby.
And her name is me.
Look, I'm having a baby, it's a penis.
Whoa, isn't this crazy?
There's like, I'm like hungry for nuggets,
but I actually have a nugget inside me.
Like I have a little nugget, babe.
Like I'm brain up, babe.
Babe, do you have any sweet and sour sauce?
For my nugget, look.
Look, I got a nugget.
Babe, babe, guess what?
I'm gonna be playing basketball for the Denver Nuggets, because I got a nugget!
I want to make Donald's the other day and I said, do you have sweet and sour sauce and
they're like, no.
Yeah, they don't do it anymore.
Oh, there's something that's missing.
My boyfriend is sour.
Apparently, where did that go away?
I don't know.
I think it was, is it, or is it the honey mustard?
One of them is gone because my boyfriend is he likes his chicken nuggets and
He has been bemoaning the lack of one of the condiments lately. He said that they it has fully disappeared
Yeah, they looked at me like I was crazy and I was like well back in my day. Yeah
You sons of bitches
Okay, yeah, so also like she's being annoying and she's saying things started interrupt
But I don't know. Yeah, it's happening. I'm lost. The statement's happening. She's like, yeah, babe,
like all the clothes for my baby are going to be 100% cotton and like organic, but like, if
something's really cute and it's not organic, it's fine. Like I can slum it. Like I'm not crazy.
You're awful. You're an awful, awful mother right now.
You're awful. You're an awful, awful mother right now. I could be practical sometimes. I'm like, it's called being cheap because you know babies don't need to be spending all your damn money, okay?
You took the time to bury that shit.
Yeah, so I'll get some wax paper and a rubber band and wrap it around.
I like how she can turn anything into a positive. I think that really is, I mean, it's a mixture of manipulation,
lying, and you know, just positivity, which all kind of goes together really. Yeah.
But I like that she's like, you know, because Resid tells her, you're pregnant!
And that's crazy! Like at 40, like your egg should be cooked.
I would know I just ordered some of the doctor. They were delicious.
Runs that! Like your egg should be cooked. I would know I just ordered some of the doctor. They were delicious.
Runs that.
I had like 50 year old Harvard Overseas.
De-licious.
And she said, you know, Resa is right babe.
We didn't plan it.
It was an accident.
And in my age, you know, what a miracle.
I was like, what a positive way of being like,
I got knocked up to trick somebody into getting that money
because they wouldn't marry me because what their family hates me
Hey, you know what she looks in the bright side I actually really love it awesome as much as I think she's being an asshole about her pregnancy
I've I even though she has been hypocritical about many things. I've always really enjoyed her
But this is her baby thing. It's just too insufferable
I mean she acts like she's the first person to ever get pregnant and they're looking around the store at one point
They find a stroller and I think,
I think Asa says something.
I think Asa is not reset, but she's like,
so babe, apparently it's a stroller,
but like you take it off and to carcy too.
I'm like, congratulations.
Welcome to the world of strollers.
That's what they do.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Stroller technology has advanced.
Yes, it has.
Like babe, when I hear that click,
I could like see you as a dad because he clicked out the stroller
I'm like it's like opening a folding chair like babe
Babe the way you covered your mouth when you cough. That's like a dad thing to do like I can see you as a dad babe
I generally like osse too
But I call her out as being a selfish bitch a lot of the time because
I think she really is and she does it in such a pleasant way where it's she can still
like lead a totally selfish life, but do it in a way that's not offensive, you know,
for example, she sits back on this chair and he is starting to talk to her about MJ.
So she's like sitting back like gangster like she's leaning all the way back on this public, you know,
plus chair with her hair spread all the way out on the seat of which I mean on the back of the chair. It's just like
long black hair everywhere. You know, she's getting shit everywhere. She doesn't care. That is a rude-ass
person right there. But she's doing it like so she could look calm and peaceful. Yeah, yeah, but it's rude, you know, it's rude.
It's rude.
And I like that.
I'm very like overtly rude.
And I like that someone can just do it so politely.
You know, hair rudeness is a special kind of rudeness.
And she's really mastered the art of it, you know.
Yeah, especially to a whole person.
Yeah, so a residenting there and he's saying things about
like this whole, all this baby talk, he's getting introspective and in general. and he's saying things about like this whole all this baby talk he's
getting introspective and in general and he's like I'm realizing I honestly have to before I die
experience some little human being calling me dad. I'm like isn't that what Adams for?
It's a typical you know Reza's ready because he's learned how to make it all about him.
Yeah.
It's not about like bringing something into the world and like helping it along and guiding it.
It's like, what is this, what'll this do for me?
Perfect time to have a baby.
I can't wait to get my baby a Fisher Price Bridge.
I'm going to look so tall to a little baby
Baby be like wow he's tall and I'd be like bitch you'll be tall someday too bitch
So MJ and Tommy yeah
MJ she's like how did Jews wear their chest is that what she said
MJ she's like how did Jews wear their chest is that what she said well so what does that even mean that since how did Jews wear their chest that's what I
wrote I don't I don't I think I missed that line I don't know all I know is that
they were in the condo packing for Israel and well I thought more they're talking
about oh they were talking about like how does one like can you have your chest
out you can you have your chest out in Israel and he's like, yeah, babe, you got everything out.
It's crazy.
Yeah, he's reading the Wikipedia.
He's like, some women reveal chest and show on me.
You got some bazangas.
Great bazangas, babe, you can show them.
Yeah, you got like two toros, you got to show them off. So we get to watch your piano stick again and Tommy, you know, two toes, scrolls in it. You got to show them off.
So we get to watch your piano stick again and Tommy, you know, Tommy's just so romantic.
He's like, truly a golden shower. Sounds like you're peeing on everything.
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
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So she basically is not pregnant again and he's like, ah, no.
Like, it's just another bad game of ski ball.
And MJ is now starting to become crazy.
And she's like, I think the whole reason
why Assa got pregnant was because I'm
supposed to have a baby.
And so the messages are re up.
Yeah, I don't think that was why
I'm also got pregnant.
But you know, good on you to make her baby about like,
again, taking the res,
res a school of self involvement,
making us as baby all about you.
Yeah.
It was only a matter of time, guys.
Yeah.
So Mike and his brother, there's like this weird 70s
detective music playing in the beginning.
Yes, because they look like weird 70s detectives.
It treats us hammering to a scare or something.
He's like, my brother is my hero, you know?
When my, through this whole separation, my brother's been my guiding light when I needed
somebody.
And by guiding light, I mean, he's paid all of my bills.
He's the one who inspired me to install a gigantic spiral staircase in my house.
That takes five stories before it reaches anything.
He's like teaching me how to navigate a spiral.
And it's like life, you know, it goes around and around and around, but you're always going higher.
Am I right?
You can go in a downward spiral or an upward spiral.
Select my bro.
Yeah.
And the best part about an upward spiral is at the top.
There's like a light pair of jeans that you could wear in Israel I
Ben the Israel like six times, but the last time was like 10 years ago and every time I've gone
I'm likely a different point in my life like this time. I'm like fluid and
I'm seeking enlightenment and like possibly a good eyebrow brush that doesn't cost like $20 because that's ridiculous
Maybe a pair of sneakers. I don't know
Maybe like Reeboks opened up at the waiting wall. I don't know. I mean, look, in a place that's always, you know,
crushing down towns, people need a moving company, you know?
So we then go to Adam and Reset home. Like, nothing happened in the scene except like the whole
thing was it was like my
brother's always been there for me and then the example of his brother being there is he's like I'm
thinking about wearing like bringing like a light pair of jeans and like a blazer's like no dude you
don't need a blazer. Thanks man. Wow. You're my catting light. Thank you. I would have brought a blazer
all the way to Israel and it was been crazy. Maybe that's why the guiding light soap opera got cancelled.
It was just about
like picking out proper shoes for your next vacation. I would have actually watched that.
Mike and his brother pick out garments for slightly cool temperatures at night.
So next on the Reza finding somebody to look up to him meeting. Yes.
Now they're at home and they've invited an adoption lady over to just be
a horror fight.
A GD Greer.
Yes.
And Adam is really into it.
So we're seeing Siddore Bell.
He gets one of the dogs and he holds it and he's like, oh, hi, welcome.
Oh, yeah, third dog.
It's like one of our four kids.
I know you're trying to impress her
that you're taking care of things,
but comparing a dog to a baby,
probably not a wise idea to an actual adoption lady.
Like, this is the problem.
This is why most kids need homes, okay.
They were left in the doghouse in the back
with a bowl of water.
People care more about dogs and children. That's the problem.
She's like, you can't spank this thing. You know, you can't spank a baby when it shits in the house, right?
He's like, now stay back because this is the dog that mauled me.
He's like, these are our baby crates. Just keep them in there. You know, when we're gone, so they can't rip everything up.
our baby crates. Just keep them in there, you know, when we're gone, so they can't rip everything up. I actually liked that once they sat down on the couch, there was like that, their
little cat that came and snuck on next to Resa, and the, they were talking about adoption,
and there was just like an extended close up on the cat. And I was like, you know, this
cat was super jealous. The cat's like, I'm the fucking baby around here. Yeah. Well,
the cat was, they were sitting on the couch and the cat was directly behind Resa's just looking like, oh, girl, do not be able to be around. The cat was trying
to do like smoke signals or like do it, whatever. The cat was like walking on the back, was
practically doing cartwheels like, no, don't do it. No, no, no. When the adoption lady went
into her spiel about how there's 20,000 homeless
babies and most of the teens that are up for adoption who need families.
There's like a huge amount of teenagers obviously in LA that are homeless and
just the look on Resa's face when he's realizing that most of those go-go boys
that he's been giving dollars to up their fun holes for years. Like actually just me and the dad.
Yeah, he's like oh shit. There are all these kids that need homes and like we could
bigger home. We could teach so many gay kids about chevrons. it's amazing. No apartment has more single dollar bills than this one.
At that point the cat rushed back into frame, I'm not even lying.
I was like, this cat does not, does not want to be replaced.
Like, I'm still here, I'm still here.
Meow, motherfucker.
Meow.
Bitch be like, I don't want to be replaced. So
Reset tells her well you know my mom said she could go to Iran and get me two kids
but the blank envelope with untraceable cash is hard to get through customs
and she's like I've never heard of that. There are plenty of children to
buy locally. She's like, maybe you should
watch flirting with disaster before you go any further in this process. Great. There's no
flirting there. It's just with disaster. Yeah, with disaster. And Lily Talman is not part of any of this.
The baby Faraham story. So now it's the next morning and it's time to go
to the airport and so Destiny and Shervin gets stuck with Destiny for his airport ride
which sucks because Destiny is not even like a full cast member. Like she was billed as
the next cast member but she's just a friend of and she's you know pastoring him with questions
about you know has he keeping it that you must have blue balls you know, pestering him with questions about, you know, has he keeping it set? You must have blue balls, you know,
the analyst being in Australia,
blue balls, huh, Shervin?
And he's like, uh, I just jerk off.
It's basically what he wanted to say.
I like to be said, you know, I don't get like the sex thing.
I'm older, so I'm a lot less sexual.
She didn't understand that she was like,
you ever put a lampshade on an Elise?
Or thought about doing that.
Well, it lasted longer. I mean, really, all you have to do with those bitches is change their
bulbs and their LED, which means it's like once every 10 years, you've been wasting your time.
So then we cut to Austin, Gigi, in their own car. And Austin's like, isn't this crazy babe?
Like, we're going on a vacation. Like, I'm taking a nugget on a pilgrimage and like we already miss our daddy.
Either she's just out of control. Now because now she's doing the I miss
Dremain thing for five years she never missed it. Dremain and now all of a
sudden she misses Dremain like we get it we get it. You're having a little family.
We get it. Yeah because now he can't say like you told me you wouldn't mention
me because she's like well there's another cast member about to be popped out with your credit right on it.
So you're naturally a part of a show and you don't have to sign anything.
Soko.
Yeah.
And she's already doing a thing of like, babe, you know how hard it's going to be for me
to fly 20 hours when I'm seven half months pregnant.
Babe, it's not like flying 20 hours.
It's like 20 hours and you're seven half months pregnant. Cause like I'm pregnant babe babe. You know,
that's like super dangerous for the baby. It's like amazing that I get to do it.
Like the fact that we can fly across the entire world is like a miracle.
I mean, that I'm pregnant is like a double mirror. It's like so many
miracles. Like I would like to rewrite the miracle worker. I'm called it like
Assa story, because it's like so many miracles at once.
The miracle working it.
The miracle captain.
The miracle captain.
The miracle captain.
So Mike and Resar are in their own car and Mike's like, whoa, it's going to be really weird
in the airport when they see mid-ad-Easterners.
You guys are fucking morons.
You know that, right? They're not going
to be scared because you're middle eastern. They're going to be scared because you're wearing
gold sunglasses and carrying Louis Vuitton bags and like wearing platforms and I know that
yeah. They're worried that you're trying to extend Halloween to their country, not that
you're middle easterners. You fucking morons. What do you think Israel is?
not that you're Middle Easterners, you fucking morons. What do you think Israel is?
This is Israel's in the Middle East.
They're concerned about the increase of a
drug-hardened war sent in the country.
Oh.
They're like, wait a minute, Kim Kardashian
from Ross Address for Less,
smell is coming through.
Who is that?
I salute.
So they get into the airport and there's like,
an overall weight black lady who's doing that thing
where she checks your ID before we go up the staircase
to get to security at LAX.
And res is like, that's my girl!
And then he starts dancing.
It's like, yes.
It is a black lady, yes, you're correct.
That's a black lady.
And you're sort of being patronizing right now. It's fine, but she was into it. So she was like, yes, I was Yes, you're correct. That's a black lady and you're sort of being
patronizing right now. It's fine, but she was into it. So she was like, yes, I was like, okay fun Then they're gonna have a happy moment, but I was like
I don't know just because you see like a black woman
You know, I feel like there's something is it did you get that like sort of that that like
Ignorant he's like look it's a black lady you guys are so sarcastic and funny
Look at me. I'm gonna raise my hand up in the air. Yeah, damn slate dance with me big black lady
She's like oh my god. I feel like the entire cast of hidden figures right now
She's like I really want to be sassy right now, but I'm on TV and I have to represent so okay
Let's have a hug big guy. All right, we're gonna hug now, get up there.
See him be the only page, Disrael.
Stop the queen.
He's an asshole.
She's like, she's like, I'll count my revenge.
Just gonna go.
Paging L all, paging L all.
He's motherfuckers.
He's so ignorant, Rezegas.
Rezegas.
Yeah, it's like a Middle Eastern man.
Like, I find that you, you know,
when they're not gonna pull us over and detain us
because we dress expensive.
Like, we have a good jewelry and really expensive bag.
So like, no one's gonna believe we want to commit suicide on a plane.
Oh, my God.
Listen, if I were a terrorist, I would totally dress up.
I'd be like, if I'm going down, I'm going down in style.
Yeah, who says you can't take it with you?
That's right. I spent this money. I'm bringing this necklace to the afterlife.
Oh, terrorism.
So then we got a commercial and...
I want Andy.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
I want Andy. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. I want Andy.
Because I just had to write down because wow.
I didn't see that commercial.
Should I have seen that commercial?
It felt like terrorism.
I felt like that was the commercial break.
Oh my goodness.
This is really, this episode has gone in so many dark places.
Kardashians, terrorism.
It's the Shaws.
Yeah. It's the Shaws. Yeah.
It's the Shaws.
So Austin, MJ, at the airport,
asks us like, babe, can you believe it?
Like, we're the only two that got in
because everybody else got detained.
And Austin's offended because Mike thought
that she was going to be the one who's detained.
But she's like, Mike apparently,
is by the way, Mike's facial hair is out of control right
now.
And not because it's like too big or whatever.
It's just so annoyingly sculpted.
It's like, you know, when I, one of my pet peeves is when a guy overly sculpts his facial
hair and like his eyebrows is beard everything, I'm like, Mike, you have to relax.
Maybe just shave it all off or something, but this is, this just looks hideous right now.
So yeah, we learned and I'm, and we actually before I even say that,
we should mention that on the plane, I actually felt bad for Gigi,
because we saw a scene of Resa being like,
you know, like, we had to go through what we went through,
in order to get to where we are now, like, we had, like, I love you,
like, seriously, right now, I love you.
Like, look at me, I'm being serious, I love you, Gigi. I love you. you, like look at me, I'm being serious.
I love you, Gigi, I love you.
I'm like, she probably had to sit through 15 hours
of this for no kidding.
Trust me, she knows better than anybody
what she had to go through for you to be nice again.
Yeah, so at the detention center,
we see Mike say, like he's, he's,
doesn't understand why Assa wasn't detained
and he's like, I said,
her name is very Muslim and they didn't stop her. I'm like, you are such an asshole. You're like't detained and he's like, I said her name is very Muslim and they didn't stop her.
Like, you are such an asshole.
You're like,
I think you sound like a really Muslim-y.
Yeah, really Muslim-y.
Like, you basically try to drag her down into your detention.
That is awful.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, it's like, why the hell should she get off?
I'm the actual Jew.
I was waiting for them to get in trouble.
It's like, so sick.
And Reth is like,
I'm really worried because like, what are they going to do to me? Like, you can't be gay in Israel.
They could like, deport me or like, put me in jail or just send me back. Okay. This is so embarrassing
that these people are talking like this, you know, beyond race, just that Americans are this fucking stupid. Can I please read to you from LGBT rights in Israel with a pdf page?
Yes, wow, look at you.
Lesbian gay bisexual and transgender rights in Israel are the most advanced in the Middle
East and one of the most advanced in Asia. Same sexual activity was legalized in 88, although
the former law against Saudi me had not been enforced since the 60s. Israel became the first in Asia to
recognize unregistered cohabitation between same-sex couples, making it the
first country in Asia to recognize any same-sex union. Although same-sex
marriages are not performed in the country, Israel still recognizes same-sex
marriages performed elsewhere. Discrimination on the grounds of sexual
orientation was prohibited in the 90s.
Same sex couples are allowed to jointly adopt
after a court decision in 2008.
And they can serve openly in the military.
They are one of the most gay friendly cities
in the world, famous for, or Tel Aviv, rather,
is, and it's famous for its annual pride parade
and gay beach, earning it the nickname,
the gay capital of the Middle East.
So please shut the fuck up.
Please.
Yeah.
With this.
Also, if anyone who is gay, I guarantee,
has for sure seen someone on someone's Facebook
or knows someone from Facebook, you've seen it around.
Israel is full of so many hot gay men like absurdly hot gay men.
This is a very gay friendly place.
It allows the gay men to grow in flourish and become the, you know, uh, adonises that
they were meant to be.
Yeah.
These people are just fucking ignorant.
And then when they're like, we're Middle Eastern going to the Middle East.
So I looked at population, G75, non-Heredi, 65, Heredi, 9.9,
Arabs 20.7. I mean, it's a huge mix of people
from the Middle East. Yeah.
Yeah. No, it's real supposed to be great.
It's supposed to be a great place to go visit.
I was always, I've never been, because I was always
of this mindset of like, well, it seems like a little dangerous,
but at this point, everyone I was always of this mindset of like, well, it seems like a little dangerous,
but at this point, everyone I know has gone to Israel,
and I feel like I realize I think
every place is a little dangerous,
so maybe it's time for me to go to Israel.
And then last year when they went to Iran,
they were just as ignorant, you know?
Also it's like, oh my God,
this is like the homeland,
it's like my spiritual center.
What do you mean I can't go on the front row of the church? What do you mean I can't go on the front row of the
church? What do you mean I can't go on the front door of the church or the... Yeah, well even the
one to church and it went to close that around you mean. Yeah, sorry about that. She's like, why can't I
go on the front entrance? They're like, you have to go to the woman's section. She's like, that's like
totally misogynist babe. I'm like, okay, why don't you have another, why don't you have another season of wearing your fucking golden berkah and then saying it's for feminism?
Yeah, dumb, dumb.
I am just, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna sit here in the corner because I'm not gonna
touch this because the point, look, my point isn't even to diss any culture, it's to say
they just don't even know what the fuck they're doing.
They have these crazy ideas.
There's Wikipedia. Look it up
Yeah, well, maybe that's why they were detained or maybe it was MJ's theory, which was I think we made it through because we were friendly
Which is totally totally conceivable. Yeah
We didn't smell like weed
We're not here and although I have a hard time believing that Shervin was unfriendly at customs. I mean, although he was nervous about going
Israel, but Shervin's so nice. He's so nice and he's so cute. Yeah,
little Shervin. He doesn't even say much. He doesn't need to. And
Razaki trying to make him. He's like, well, bro, it's time for you to say
something. It's like time for you to ruin your own life on TV. He's like,
no, Shervin. Yeah. Like, hey, bro, aren't you so upset at Israel?
This country that people said would be nice to you and they're just saying you aren't you so mad. It's pretty cool. You know, they're safe.
At least it's a condition here like
No, it gives me more time to face time with Annelise. So it's pretty cool. I'm
Making millions of dollars while I do business on my cell phone right now, bro.
Well, so it took actually five hours and like
It's kind of hilarious that the last two people to get through were GG and Resa that they had to wait five hours in that little room
But you know what though? See Israel has Israel knows what's up. They're like hmm GG and Resa
We're gonna like be extra thorough with these two. And doesn't he says, yeah, they asked me questions
about you and how they knew them and how we know them. And like everybody's relationship.
I was like, no wonder this is taking so long. Yeah. She's like, listen, I'm just a party
planner. I shouldn't even be here. Well, I'm just like, I met MJ. We're like in high school
and her mom was like, mean, but then my dad didn't really like me as much
So we just like hung out and watch facts of life together and like eight stuff
But then one time she made me mad in high school. It's like oh my god starting all the way back there
They will tell you every fight. He will bitch about every wrong thing. She's every done
You know those cousin agents were like all right, Mr. Reza Farahan, all right,
we've seen your comedy set at the improv last year and we want to show him that you will
be not be doing any comedy in Israel, okay? We choose one of Asian drivers here in Israel.
We choose, perhaps you saw one of our ambassadors, Kelly Dodd, who explained that we choose our
very funny and very witty and we react well to sarcasm and we cannot have you ruining our comedy legacy. Thank you.
They probably get to their hotel in Tel Aviv and they're like, wow, we're here. Like the nightlife here looks so great. It looks like that movie director like what's his name?
Like you know that tiny old guy the fuck this daughter?
Yeah, like
Woody Allen because he's Jewish yeah, he's like yeah
Tel Aviv someplace that Woody Allen would have hung out with back in the day
Nothing about Woody Allen. Do you know anything?
Woody Allen. Do you know anything? Woody Allen
Woody Allen They're really like New York. They don't need it. New York Paris so many Jewish people here
Where's Jackie Mason actually Jackie Mason would go. I would I could imagine Jackie Mason and Tel Aviv
That I do see
Woody Allen these guys are media so let's see Mike's they're all a whole bath Adam calls I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking.
I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. and MJ comes out in a spandex body suit with her tits hanging out. Oh my god. She's, she looks
like a giant peeled sweet potato. She's just like when you cook them too long and they split
down the middle. Yeah. She's like, babe, I'm not a curb. So yeah, she is fully pumpkin. I mean,
it is, I mean, I know they were just celebrating Halloween, but this was taking into the next level.
So funny, invest in he was wearing the same thing, but in black.
And I was like, wow, look how tasteful it can be. Look how tasteful the exact same outfit could be.
Which is funny, because one reminds us of food and the other one makes us think it's tasteful.
So, so it's dinner time to go to this restaurant and like,
like how crazy does the people are smoking inside?
And then it's like three, two, one, and Assa going,
babe, babe, I don't feel comfortable
being around with the smoke.
Cause like, that's like the number one thing
that can affect the baby.
So like, babe, I'm gonna go home, babe, babe.
Which actually, this is the one time I think Assa
has a like to stand on.
So I get it.
Yeah, she's cool about it.
She's not a bit.
She doesn't try and make everybody else leave.
She's just like, bye.
Yeah, if it had been Gigi, she'd be like,
I don't just say how I know it's leaving with me.
Yeah, how could you do this to me?
Like, I'm being ostracized.
She wouldn't have that word, but you know.
Yeah.
Asa is like, ostracized.
Yeah, ostracized. Why do you say I'm fat?
Why are you ostracizing me?
Oh, so let's see, they start taught, you know,
taught you getting drunk, dating and destiny's like, yeah,
I've never been with a black guy and Gigi's like, I used to
love black dick. And then they make fun of how tiny Mike
stick is.
Well, because Mike starts getting defensive about about like he needs to be the guy with the biggest dick Cuz no, they always say he has a big dick and he's like he's like I'm I've got a big dick like my dick hangs down to my mother
Fucking knee whatever. I'm like, okay, your behavior suggests otherwise. Yeah, no kidding your eyebrow pencil says something else entirely
Yeah, there's an inverse proportional ratio
to sculpted facial hair and dixas.
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, so then MJ starts talking about her baby.
Yes.
Now we're gonna get into the real blessing issue.
So guys, like soon I'm gonna have to be away from smoke
because like soon I'm gonna have a baby inside of me
and everyone's like, you know, grown.
It's like 20 more people just lit up cigarettes.
You know, grown.
I'm leaning back in my chair
because that made me laugh so hard.
And I'm back, my shadow of a dork chair.
And destiny goes, well, why don't you get married first, babe? She goes, I will not have a bastard. And Gigi says, yeah, but it's a bastard. If you're pregnant before marriage, she goes, no,
only if you have the baby before marriage. And then this goes on for 20 more minutes.
No, it's a baby. no, pregnancy, baby, pregnancy.
Like, wow, this is like, this should be the new platform
on the 2020 presidential election.
When do we classify something as a bastard?
Here's the problem is that you're even thinking
of your baby as a potential bastard.
You might possibly be holding this over your baby,
like your baby is a bastard.
And just doing it to call
Us's baby a bastard like she's such an asshole She's such an asshole and then trying to get support for being pregnant because us is pregnant
Well, she's not pregnant set up MJ. You don't get a parade for wanting to be pregnant
So because we are being very fact checkable this episode
I just did a search for bastard the definition and
I almost did it, but I was like really this will be the third Wikipedia page
You're pulling up in Shaz and you need to stop now now. You know, you know, I'm good for looking things up
So
The definition number one is a person born well, it's archaic and derogatory first of all
It is a person born of parents, it's archaic and derogatory, first of all, it is a person born of parents
not marriage of each other. So basically, it has to be born. And the example is he had
fathered a bastard. But there is also another definition, which is an unpleasant or despicable
person, obviously. So really, they're all bastards. If you're a human being, you're a bastard from the new term.
Yeah. We've all got that excited to us.
Yeah, so they're debating as a bastard,
as a not a bastard, and why it's even matter, et cetera.
And the whole thing is just,
it's kind of crazy that MJ is doing this thing,
where if she says it, it will happen,
and I've met people like that and they're so annoying.
There's so, I know this one girl who was like who starts talking about
how she's going to like university somewhere. And I was like, oh my God, that's amazing.
She's like, yeah, I'm so excited that I'm like, when you start, she goes, well, I'm going
to be applying in the fall. I was like, bitch, you haven't even applied. And you're saying
you're going there. I hate this like manifestate. What do you, what do you call it when you talk about visualization or manifesting your
destiny?
Oh, anyway.
So then while this whole conversation's going on, fine line between manifesting and being
a compulsive liar, can't you?
Yeah, thank you.
So then Reza comes over and he starts yelling at MJ being like, babe, your
chances of getting pregnant are super, super low. Like you have to stop where you're
44 years old. You're basically like old eggs in the frying pan. After you've already scraped
them out, you know, one of your dishes after you've had your scrambled eggs, that's what
you are a crusty frying pan
And this is actually supposed to be him encouraging her because he's like so what I'm saying is don't worry about bastards
Just start having sex now
It's like that's like prepare your body for pregnancy, okay?
Like you don't just you're supposed to be doing yoga and getting healthy. You don't smoke cigarettes and get drunk, you know
Yeah, babe. Yeah, so somehow this was somehow it was supposed to be doing yoga and getting healthy. You don't smoke cigarettes and get drunk, you know? Yeah, babe.
Yeah, so somehow this was somehow,
it was supposed to be encouraging,
but of course it's Resa and it's,
he manages to just remind her over and over and over again
that she's 44 and has bad living habits.
I don't think because at the beginning of the season,
Resa basically told everybody it's MJ's turn again
to go through the Resa Ringer.
And he's been working slowly,
and then he turns and tells her off
in front of everybody again.
And it's like, there he goes.
But also, he's also getting like proud
into a proud parent fight.
And he's not a parent yet either.
It's like, he's thinking about it more seriously
than she is, so he wins the better, almost parent.
Yeah, exactly.
How about Resa, you make your apartment look less
like the Black Lodge and more baby friendly
before you take on a baby?
How about that?
How about not building a portal to like Bob?
Yeah, in your apartment.
How about making your apartment not look like
it's where the manifestation of evil is okay.
Laura Palm is a really good nanny.
You know like babies are smarter if they learn how to talk backwards first.
Sometimes I call Adam the arm.
That's an esoteric twin big shit for y'all.
So then everyone just continues getting drunk
and they meet someone named Schlomi,
who definitely one of those guys who looks sort of hot
in the club, but then they brought him back to the hotel
along with these two other girls and it's like,
oh, I don't know if we should have brought Schlomi back
to the hotel.
And MJ is just blatantly trying to get Gigi
to cheat on camera.
She's such an asshole.
She's like, we're gonna party.
Look hot guy, did you lose your girlfriend? You're single? Here's Gigi to cheat on camera. She's such an asshole. She's like, we're gonna party. Look hot guy. Did you lose your girlfriend? You're single. Here's Gigi.
Trent, you're gonna put this on me. Do each other.
Yeah, it's like, it's like welcome here. Gigi,
here's your new boyfriend, Ikebod Kreme. Yeah.
So, so then at the hotel MJ is just being ridiculous.
And she's, she keeps saying things like, guys, enjoy, guys,
like enjoy this because in months now,
I'm not gonna be drinking like this
because I'm gonna be pregnant, okay guys.
In a month now, I'm gonna be pregnant.
So annoying.
This chick is going up, oh my,
he's like, this chick is going up the rails dude.
Like it's the same thing she's always doing.
They got these two little 20 year old girls too
over there.
Oh, and MJ is like, ah, let's spend the bottle.
Oh.
And Resa's like, bye.
Yeah, even Resa was like this.
You know it's bad when Resa passes up an opportunity
to start shit with people or make out with people
and have the exclusive drunkenness.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, I can't please spin the bottle anymore because it
gives Adam Vertigo. The bottle's moving too fast. So let's see. The room is crashed.
And Destiny's embarrassed because I guess it's her first time on vacation ever with these
people. And she's like, you guys, this room is like really, really crashed out.
It's terrible. And Shervin just pulls out some hundreds. He's like, he's for the cleaning.
That's like that's kind of disgusting of him, but also as a person in service, my whole life,
thank you, sir. Yeah, exactly. It's, I actually, I agree. It's sort of disgusting,
but not the worst thing in the world. Meanwhile Meanwhile destiny is like hauling in like all these lampshades to put it over every broken bottle of beer here
Let's put a lampshade on this about that. Oh here's some bomb at lampshade there. Those two poor girls are like well
We weren't raped, but we were turned into lamps
And we did have to see Shlomi with his pants off
with it MJ say she's like I'm gonna be pregnant so I'm milking the last of my youth while I can I'm like a cow
About to something yeah, no, I'm the last cow the final cow the final cow
It's the final cow down
And then next week resists like I found such divine meaning here in Israel. And then they show him dancing in the street
with some local with a GoPro on his head.
It's like, nothing says divine spirituality,
like a GoPro.
I ask.
I'm just waiting for,
I'm waiting to see Resa crying at the Wailing Wall.
You know, the Wailing Wall is a very spiritual place for Jews.
But I feel like, I think it's universally spiritual. But for some reason, I'm really excited to see Resza crying at the Wailing Wall. You know, the Wailing Wall is a very spiritual place for Jews, but I feel like for, I think
it's universally spiritual, but for some reason I'm like really excited to see Reza crying
there.
And then I'm excited to get mad at Gigi for saying, it's just a wall.
You just wait, Gigi, you just wait.
They'll close the Wailing Wall for us to start soon.
Close.
He's just a little, a little letter in there. Just somehow some divine thing is gonna pop the letter out like no return to center
Like there are ghosts crying and banging themselves up against the wall close it
Goodness so that brings us to another end of another touching episode of Shots of Sunset.
Let's show the people that we've offended this episode.
Yes, everyone there, we did it.
So you guys, thank you so much.
Reminder, go to watchrocrapins.com and to buy tickets for our L.A. show.
Because Jeff Lewis and Jenny Poulos
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And, you know, I don't think we haven't mentioned this,
but we are selling something really cool
at the live show.
We're gonna be selling
watch or crap in some magnetic poetry,
and you can only get it at the LA show.
So, so, so, they'd, yeah,
it's basically all your favorite
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because it's going to be super fun.
It's going to be a patty. Everyone Everyone we love you. Thanks for listening to us.
Thanks for all your support.
And we will talk to you tomorrow when we're back with Real Housewives of Orange County.
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