Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Drag to the Finish Line

Episode Date: October 17, 2017

Shahs of Sunset puts an end to the season this week. Reza dresses like Vida, makes his husband cry, and tops off the Sunday by manipulating someone into telling off their own mom. That’s ta...lent. Enjoy! This week’s bonus is a breakdown of Top Chef Colorado’s cast bios. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram
Starting point is 00:00:41 and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Christie dowry the OG Prem Supreme and our super duper premium sponsor Kelly Grant the most gorgeous girl in Texas we love you. Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo Braves. I'm Ronny Karem from the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast and here I am with my adorable sweet Monday brightness filled little friend Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blender
Starting point is 00:01:57 holo bing. Hi Ronny, what's up? How you doing babe? I'm doing pretty swell. It's boiling hot outside here in Los Angeles. I walked outside to go down to Starbucks and literally like four supermodel Abercrombie guys just went jogging in a pack shirtless right by my my my building and I was like wow I love LA. I walked my dog and saw an old lady yelling at a construction guy and then hitting a truck so that's that's the difference in our mornings. Yeah okay well both exciting and different ways. Yeah I said I love LA but it was in a very different tone than you did. Also I'm not built for this kind of heat in fucking end of where are we in to October. Like what the hell?
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, it's it's mid October, but it is it felt like I was standing out like behind a bus. Like I was standing behind a bus that was starting up and I was getting like just hit with hot bus air. Yes, hot bus LA unfiltered air. So it's Monday speaking of unfiltered air. We've got the shots. But first Do not forget to come to our San Francisco show people. It's November 4th at social hall There's a couple tickets left. Go by them
Starting point is 00:03:16 Yeah, we're gonna be announcing different cities later on in the week and also another little announcement I did or later on live life. I don't know we had a number ready this week but hopefully we can this week but probably just stay tuned for that. Yeah later in life. And also I did Malz's lifetime podcast called Mother May I Sleep with Podcasts and we did to be fat like me and it was three hours of just laughing our asses off over childhood fat stories basically. So go listen to that. It's one of the few lifetime movies I've actually already seen. I know.
Starting point is 00:03:52 And you wrote you did like a picture recap a long time ago you were telling me a photo cast. Yeah, I think it's on TV guys and somewhere probably probably like it was from like 10 years ago. So it was probably full of like all sorts of jokes that are now like No longer socially acceptable It wants to shame me feel free to my how things change 10 years like when TV gasm was taken offline. I'm like, you know what? I think that's probably for the best Yeah, yeah, sometimes it is I remember when I started trash talk TV after the death of TV Gasm I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm gonna start going by my real name instead of flip it
Starting point is 00:04:30 I don't know that that was the best idea It's like you just sort of like setting yourself up for just a huge amount of disasters Just like let me make sure I say something that lives on forever on the internet. Yeah, it's like I only got probably a few hundred readers at the time, but it could ruin your life forever. It's like, yeah, and hey, still writing them. So I guess I can't complain too much. You know, make one really, really, really bad joke. And suddenly everything is a disaster.
Starting point is 00:05:01 It just has Neenie Leaks. Who's getting fired from everything right now? Well, that was a pretty bad joke. Well, yeah, I'm not excusing it. I'm just saying like, you know, the internet is like, oh, she couldn't even say get raped by your Uber driver. She would have been like, get raped by a taxi driver. Yeah, your bus per se and her whatever.
Starting point is 00:05:20 It's good to see that we all can get shamed and a lot of us deserve it, by the way. Well, I've been rolling around and shamed my whole fucking life. So good luck, people. It's like putting a warm blanket around me. Speaking of just unrelenting shame, why don't we talk about the Shaza Sunset? Talk about some people who have gone out of their way to make sure they could never be gainfully employed once this show is over. Now let's, uh, real quick dive into what's what happens and don't worry. I didn't watch it.
Starting point is 00:05:54 So I'm not going to be doing like a full on 30 minute critique of what's what happens. But, uh, people were texting me last night. You have to watch watch what happens because Reza's ridiculous. I was like well, duh, he's Reza. So Reza and Micron watch what happens. Reza is in shorts, a silver plethora bomber jacket, and Nihei, one of those Louis Vuitton socks I think, something like that, and Mike's next to him at a full face and makeup and a plaid suit or whatever. And apparently Reza was like, yeah, Shervin tried to fuck Gigi's sister, but he was too high on Coke or a substance to do it. And everybody's freaking out that Reza is such a pig. Where have you guys been?
Starting point is 00:06:35 What show have you been watching? Why is this? He is a shock. Are the ratings low because they are going out there on to watch what happens live, and they are just saying whatever they can. Like last week MJ was out there saying that Asa had, she had been involved with a married guy, and that's how she got her house in Venice because it was like a payoff, a some sort of situation like that. So they're out there, they're scorching the earth.
Starting point is 00:06:58 But then again, they always scorch the earth. And I think it's funny that Reza was in like some sort of silver blazer and shorts because I've noticed that this year on Shaz that he seems to be embracing more Of himself as a personality rather than like oh, this is who I am. I'm a real estate agent and you're looking into my life now It's like
Starting point is 00:07:20 Hey, look at me. I've done stand up at the improv and now I'm a comedian. I'm a man Madonna. You know, I like you sucks. And I kind of actually don't like that. I feel like it takes away some authenticity from the show. Like, yes, he is a personality. He is famous. He's, you know, he is known more for being a funny person than he is a He is known more for being a funny person than he is a realtor, but I also feel like he's like jumping his own shark. He's jumping the rest of it. Yeah, I mean like a little toy shark. I can't imagine actually having to motorcycle and jumping over a tank with a shark in it. Yeah, like a little.
Starting point is 00:07:59 You're gonna need a little. Sorry, go ahead. Data, data,aws, get it. Run, bitch. Bitch be like, I mean, the ocean and versions are like, the only ocean I go into is the Dead Sea, which isn't even a notion, there's no sharks in there. He's like one of those little toy sharks you have when you're a baby in the tub. It's like you wind it up and it kind of swims around and starts calling you a slut in
Starting point is 00:08:24 a hole in a coquette. It's just a DVD from season three of Shark Tank. I'm gonna jump up a Barbara Korker and who's the real estate agent now bitch? What girls be like? I'll keep my shark in a tank. Persons be like you best go in the ocean bitch. Persons be like, Persons like, I have a new type of dog food that I'm going to pitch to Bubba, quick green and shake tank. That's my reza doing the shark tank music. Oh, reza. Well, I do like that he's making fashion choices on the show that are more accurate. Like he took off that brooch, because you know, his thing, like every big guy, especially
Starting point is 00:09:17 older big guys, as when I can speak on this, when I gained a ton of weight this last round, immediately I went and brought, bought like like zebra socks from old Navy or like Socks with polka dots. I don't know. It's like look my socks are interesting don't look at my muffin top Resas doing that I guess as we saw and watch what happens But he's also doing that broach thing where he used to have the octopus diamond to bridge and this time he's wearing Literally a gold stop sign Yeah, I will eat just like look in a mirror. Yeah, like, it's like white people be like stop in Persian people be like,
Starting point is 00:09:51 this is on my right, Tid, bitch. I noticed that too. He has a severe, he's like entering his octagon phase. It's a gold octagon. It's not saying stop. It's saying, act to God. It's not saying stop. It's saying please pass the butter Stop stealing all the butter off the buffet, which only Persian people eat Stop in the name of Mercedes
Starting point is 00:10:17 Well, it's octopus octagon. What's the octo? Maybe that's his number. I don't know. I would do his numerology, but I'm bored Yeah, maybe next time would'll be like a menorah. Eight, you know, maybe. It's all in the middle. I'm more Jewish. I did a play about having to light eight candles. And then my other grandma getting mad because I was wasting electricity. It's the miracle of resin. Okay, so this is called the thread that broke the
Starting point is 00:10:50 camel's back. I don't know why since none of the wear real thread. It's like the spandex that just squeezed the camel's hubs right out of his throat. But this episode is called the thread that breaks the camel's back. Yeah, according to the TV GUIDE. But was there a thread? There wasn't even a thread. There wasn't even a storyline thread during the episode. I don't think so. Oh, you know what it was?
Starting point is 00:11:15 Maybe it was a reference to the fight that stemmed from mismoo climbing on Reza's airmeas through blankets. Oh, maybe, but wouldn't that be the cat here at the Brook that camels back? I would, I don't even know why I can't even understand. Under the way you can't even, then I think it's time that we separated. Those two. Okay, so we'll get into it now. We'll get into it now. So this focused on the game.
Starting point is 00:11:46 So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game.
Starting point is 00:11:54 So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game.
Starting point is 00:12:02 So, I'm going to be a little bit more focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit focused on the game. So, I'm going to be are coming, but things are different. Some of my drown and that shark is still omnipresent. It's kind of basically saying, yes, we have jumped the shark. And we're going to throw Santa in there too. Santa's jumping the shark. So, um, Santa kind of has jumped the shark. Let's face it.
Starting point is 00:12:16 That's another episode. Okay. I mean, let's, I mean, let's, we can get into that. Santa, you know, I Think What was the name of our crampus? We need crampus to come back and set Santa straight. Yeah, crampus Santa fight. That's for a Christmas Recap, okay, I feel like I feel like I'll cover the downfall of Santa soon. Don't you worry kids? I feel like Santa is the real housewives as crampus is the Shaza sunset They're like the crampus of Bravo. Yes, except they both just take things.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Krampus just like just takes our souls and puts them in a bag and just runs off of them. Yes, six them up the shots with the shots. So Gigi gets out of an Uber X. I don't know why I needed to write that down, but I was impressed because that's like big thinking for Gigi. And she goes into this like white, it's all white room with everything's like glittery and white. And I thought this is like a community theater production of Vanderpump rules, you know, it's like a lease of Vanderpump set. And sure enough, it is a lease of Vanderpump set because who's there? So so so belly hill. Shishishie darling, belly hill is it's Kevin Lee.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah, it's Kevin Lee, our favorite Lisa Vanderpromp event designer who he is the guy that Martin Schwartz character from Father of the Bride is based off of correct. I don't even know. I think you know this. I've always called him Yoko Homo, and I'm sticking with it. I don't even know. I do know this. I've always called him Yoko Homo and I'm sticking with it. I love that little guy. Love his wigs. Love his dark glasses. Love his white glitter room. Yeah. Um, yeah. So, did you walk in? And of course, the very first thing she does is like,
Starting point is 00:13:56 check out my ring. And he's like, I don't even know who you want, bitch. But I'm just showing every one Congratulations, everyone. Congratulations. Oh my god. Okay, I'm going to the back. Look at these gold plastic plates. Bye. Yeah. Raza shows up also.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And he's like, she she she talling Beverly is. Get it? I watch your other show too. There was actually a good amount of bravo crossover in this episode, but we'll get to that later. Yes. So Raza shows up in his best plethora and baseball cap. Just to start some some shit. Welcome to Winter Wonderland. So he's he's like, we have hatched a plan to have a person winter ball and we will do it proper. Then they start talking kind of over food, but really this isn't a plan any kind of ball because that ball ended up being like a fruit tray from Ralph's and Some white tablecloths and Gretchen basically. Let's face it. This is basically so Reza can talk GT the doing his dirty work for him
Starting point is 00:14:57 Exactly so base so GG tell says that she talked to Jessica And she's at what she was talking to Jessica, she was saying how they've all seen a different side of Mike and then Mike really is in love with her and that you know the my's afraid of his mom and we learn that Jessica actually reached out to Mike's mom and sent her an email of some sort and the mom just was not having it and I'm just I don't understand why Jessica has to apologize to anyone in this situation. I mean, yes, she's like a brat, for sure, but Mike cheated on her. So why is she the one who has to grovel to the mom? Well, further war, why is it reser a GGS business? It's like Reza. Okay, I get that
Starting point is 00:15:40 you're at home pretending that you're even considering like adopting a child or whatever to look nicer or actually as he says later to save money which does make it believable. I know you know my point is I know you don't have a lot going on and I know that your job is kind of to go after everyone else in the cast who ruined their lives before they can start focusing on you but you're going after a mom now really yeah a mom exactly and the thing that's annoying is that they're all suddenly hanging off of Mike saying that he still loves that he's like in love with Jessica.
Starting point is 00:16:10 And when they show the flashbacks, I don't know if it was now or later in the episode, what Mike said was, yeah, no, like, I will always love her. If she needs me, I'll drop everything. I'll go be there for I'll always have feelings. That's not the same as saying, I'm in love with her and want to go back to her. That's just saying, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:26 they were in a relationship. We'll always have some love for her, especially because he wasn't the one to call it off. So they are like, literalizing everything he's saying and now making a thing like, don't you see Mike is still in love. He's afraid of his mother. We have to fix it.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Gigi, you do it. Yeah, as if they weren't the ones who were trying to break them up in the first place. Yeah, exactly. How's that place? So he's like, it's your job. It's a person woman to person woman. You know, you can show a person women too.
Starting point is 00:16:55 It's a Midsfa. It's not. The only thing Gigi hasn't common with the Midsfa is the bar part, okay, fuck her. Back the fuck down, Resa. The moms are off limits. Yeah, except for who's next? So Tommy and MJ and Vita are in a car driving to see the dad in the nursing
Starting point is 00:17:14 home or the hospital or whatever. And it starts with Vita going, no, no, no, if you wanted to air condition 58 degree, you let me out of the car. Tell me. I'm so furry you told me oh and so they're they're basically going to the hospital because since shams wasn't able to come in for Thanksgiving they're gonna bring Christmas to shams so they're gonna go to the hospital and take some pictures and everything
Starting point is 00:17:39 and Vita doesn't even understand why they're doing that who's going to visit a patient that they took luck? No, it's good, no. I'm suffering. Because Tommy's like, come on, Vita's supposed to be a good time. I'm suffering. Vita is just like pissed. And the only thing that makes her un-pissed is that MJ starts to cry.
Starting point is 00:18:01 And then Vita starts to smile. Like a big broad smile. She's like, oh, what did you cry? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? She's like feeding off of her daughter's misery. Also, can we mention that Meejay, Meejay, MJ called her mama fucking bitch on national television. That's really nice of Jay. She's like, you're a fucking bitch. You have invisited dad and over a month. Okay, how many times have you been there without cameras? I really would like an answer to that if anybody knows. And Venus like, oh, why should cry?
Starting point is 00:18:31 And then Tommy's like, both of you! Shout out to Christmas, God damn it! I think previously he's gonna be a good father because who hasn't heard that in the station wagon at least once around Christmas time? I know. Are we there yet? And Vita.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Yeah, the Vita. And Vita also really showed some love for Tommy, which I think is cute, because she started laughing at Tommy when he yelled and she's like, OK, why you yell? OK, we'd be nice. You stop yelling. One, two, three. Merry Christmas.
Starting point is 00:19:02 It's like Vita. Oh, she's. Vita finally found a car full of hate and she is so psyched to be alive, suddenly. She's only happy with someone else's miserable. It was like an old boss of mine used to yell at me all the time, all the time, all the time. And then there was one time when there was like some disaster that I had to deal with.
Starting point is 00:19:23 And I had like a million different phone calls. I was trying to balance and like it was Friday night and things were closing and I was like stressed out and things were about to get really, really fucked up. And at one point my boss asked me to do something. He was like, I was like, I just like, I can't do it right now. I can't and he was so happy.
Starting point is 00:19:39 He was like, then is miserable right now. And he is like, he is like stressed out and he just like sat there. And it was like the quietest he'd ever been. He just sat there there and he smiled and watched he was almost like happy for me getting to go through the stressful experience So there was some people who just love love watching people in misery like us do yeah, I guess like us I was gonna say I guess I'd be a better example be us the ones who have a podcast about all this stuff As a full-on adult internet sitster or a sit-samer, I guess I should say. I'll just sit back and enjoy that one.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Why are you crying, Ben? That's what I would have said if I was your boss. Okay, three, two, one. So they get lost at all. Yeah, go ahead, Sam. Over at the hospital, Shams is doing better than since we last saw him and now Vita's mad again. She's like, Mercedes, what you never tell me you talk so you can eat Mercedes. Mercedes.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Mercedes. You talk, you eat, you do the therapy, you come home looking forward to it. Memory works good knock on wood. Yeah. Now this is just Vita loving misery again. She sees this guy in the bed like sick as hell and she's just smiling like It's like Christmas night for Vita basically. Yeah, she got called a fucking bitch by her kid Tommy tried to freeze her at most his temper now. She's in a hospital room. It's like it's like a fantasy tour for Vita. Yeah, she's like James for Christmas. I got you ping pong pedal always for me because I'm the champion I got you bronze medal Even though you don't deserve So MJ is like, you know my mom thinks I can't have love and romance because it didn't work out for her
Starting point is 00:21:23 So it can't work out for me like I get what she's trying to protect me Okay, a that's kind of like The person who's being abused like I know they're just trying to help me But also second. I don't know that Venus trying to help you. I think she's trying to help humanity I made this I think I made this terrible art Don't feel free to magnetize it to your fridge. Yeah, I don't think there's any sort of pathology behind it. I think she just looks at MJ. I was like, no, you're not gonna be fit to be a mother or have a long lasting relationship. I get it now. Yeah. So now let's go see what Reza is doing theatrically, because I know everybody's been wondering.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah, so Reza shows up. Reza and his friend, Jefferson, they show up at one of the little theaters on Santa Monica Boulevard for his play, Ease Nontorite. Now, what's interesting to me is that this is, I would wager to say that this is sloppy storytelling by the producers of Shaza Sunset. They introduced this arc last episode, like, sloppy storytelling by the producers of Shazza Sunset. They introduced this arc last episode like oh by the way Resa is going to be doing it up doing a play
Starting point is 00:22:31 and now like the play is up. I was like wait we're having a two episode play arc. We went through like seven episodes of Gigi and now all of a sudden it's like oh by by the way I want to play too. Oh it's opening night I'm like what it's not even up it's just like a rehearsal basically for his friends yeah his friends get to come watch and they don't even give him the marquee they just put him in smaller letters under the other show that they're doing other two shows he's the third marquee you know it though it's better than what I have so you know what though, it's better than what I have. So you know what God bless. So yeah his show is called He's not right and It resets are talking about like how his play has it's light and fun
Starting point is 00:23:12 But it's really about like a run and like and culture and stuff and like being gay like have you stuff and like GG did a play too, but hers is about how to suck a dick. I'm like That's true. Well hers is about something you dick, but like don't drag Gigi's down to elevate yours because I guarantee that as bad as Gigi's was it still is probably better than yours Yeah, and at least she wasn't paying for the hour to do it in some fucking black box on Santa Monica fucker Yeah, exactly not that there's anything wrong with that Right. Thank you. Thank you for Corp. And someone who's paid plenty of black boxes to do his own personal one-man show about his own grandma disapproving of shit
Starting point is 00:23:53 I want a rate of one act to play. I've been wanting to for a long time I just can never come up with a good story like a good idea I said one man that shit's it was an hour and 45 minutes. No, I know. I know you said that. I was just willfully going. I was talking about my ambitions at that point because you talked about yours. So I just sort of spiral off. It'll be the sort of been and that time he worked really hard for his boss. Well, that's like better, but not as deep as mine, Ben, okay? Like my one-man show was heavy, and it had culture and history, and wait behind it.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Okay, thanks, friends. I can't wait to see this play. I have more or less one-man shows, I'm sorry to say, after my mom dragging me to some show in New York City, one's called Under the L lintel and it was like some guy like an Eastern Europe in a house and I was like, I can't. Yes, I haven't done one in a very long time. I'm proud to say. I would do what you have to say. It's not a one man show. If someone's in it with me, that's the joke. I would do what you have to say. It's not a one-man show if someone's in it with me.
Starting point is 00:25:05 That's the joke. We are a one-man show, basically. Oh, Ventils. So MJ arrives, and she has not learned any lines, you know. And I can't believe Resid didn't get mad and yell at her, but I guess she can only try and ruin two lives of the time per season. He's even he's got a limit.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Yeah. So I'm getting done with. I'm getting awesome fired and I'm ruining servants life. So I guess we'll be friends even though you're not taking my very heavy place seriously. Mercedes. MJ to be fair, she did say that she took acting in high school and she took the class with Monica Lewinsky and Eric Mennendes. So you see in this weird way MJ has wound up on top. I love how she mentioned Eric Mnendes and then just after she's like poor guy, poor parents. He was really good at tennis. So important. Yeah. So let's see. Then there's a Medea commercial and the only reason I'm writing that down is
Starting point is 00:26:11 it this show makes Medea look like the next Merrill Street Oscar winning movie. Oh my god this looks amazing. The production values and then there's a little thing that comes up, you know, where it's like don't mess with Matilla don't go out on Halloween Don't negotiate with serial killers. Well, Gigi still gives a contract So many commercials are perfect for this show. Yeah, like um, you know Have to it works on two levels Like hot or hot? Why girls be like hot? First and girls be like hot.
Starting point is 00:26:53 If you if you watch it late at night you see those commercials for those awnings that like are motorized that come out That also seems to somehow be appropriate like big, rickety thing that cast shade. Big, rickety thing that cast shade. Now that's the name of a player I wanna see in the black box. It would take a little more of the signage, but I would be down. So Mike comes in and everyone starts coming in, you know.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Right, because now it's actually Showtime. We've now gone through rehearsal, and now it's Showtime. That we're getting into with them. Yeah. So Resa, yeah, he's putting on a hose and stuff. And it's, you know, it's hard to watch as it as it should be. It's like watching a really sad episode of ice. He's putting on his like his drag, his woman makeup. And I'm like, Oh my God, they're about to talk about the troubles. They're having a tie. I end with the boy girl trade or whatever. But now it's just big Harry Raza.
Starting point is 00:27:52 He bases Rasa's Vita. And and you know, he's already, he already into space. Everyone shading him for having like 10 seats in the theater. So it's like, this really isn't my opening night. I just want to see how it goes because I'd like to take this show on the road. Which road are you going? Which road are you going down? Wow. Nice boulevard. Yeah. The religious discussion with one big hairy guy dressed in terrible drag and then MJ dressed in a black sheet is a workout.
Starting point is 00:28:24 You're going to get stoned by all sides. Like, just don't do it. Just stay home. So he's like, also, he's still on bed rest. Cut to Asa just lying in her bed reading her cell phone. I actually feel like she made the right decision. She did. She's the only one who's still gonna be able to smile tomorrow. Everyone else is just like, even this cast is just gonna give up.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Yeah, Asa is essentially getting the Lille G. Treatment, which is, you know, we're sort of seeing, I don't even know how she can come back. She seems totally checked out and they're checked out and the producer seems to just be checked out with her also. And yet, this is the only show where when someone checks out, you actually feel happy for them. Like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:29:09 She's gonna have a better life now. Totally. Like other shows you're like, oh, like at least try to participate with this one. I'm like, no, this is for the best. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, Asa's got a caftain business. Some diamond water they sell at Ross and a future baby.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Like, what the fuck does she care? Also I think someone's already told her that Reza's gotten her fired. She's like, why would I even get out of bed? Like I'm not going to go sit through this shitty play if I don't even get to work next year, okay, fuckers. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, she's pregnant and she's in Venice. Why would she ever come all the way to Hollywood to watch Reza's one act play that was written on the back of a cocktail napkin and
Starting point is 00:29:47 Red off the back of a cocktail napkin by MJ So he's freaking out first. I have to say my concern are like such chicks They're like such stereo typical housewives when they see each other and they're like hi. How are you good? How are you you look great? You look great except they do it the per person way He's like bro like your shirt bro like your hat Very like Persian housewives bro. Does it look good? Hold on. Let me check my reflection your hair. Yeah, it looks good So Rezos freaking out and he's like whenever I freak out. I think of disgusting things It's like when I when I'm fucking and I don't want to shoot my wad like disgusting things. It's like when I when I'm fucking and I don't want to shoot my wad like
Starting point is 00:30:27 Well now thank you for allowing all of us to never shoot our wads again. Yeah, I'm no kidding Thank you. That's stopper on wads until further notice you asshole and I love how like his discuss something is like bankruptcy bankruptcy Super things instead of good things Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup,
Starting point is 00:31:02 why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Starting point is 00:31:37 Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Size 36 waist. As it was, it was really nice. Not as much as it was with Bitspie like. Not saying that white people don't know to do shit, but version people know everything. But yeah, they were like dick dick bankruptcy smelly feet smelly pussy Jesus miss me when my ear met Rob like it so they both do audience inferences and then they get to their play which is
Starting point is 00:32:16 pretty much what you think it is it's a reza opening his legs with his nets falling out so he gets a good laugh from Mike and Gigi. And Jefferson is the waiter and he's like, hello, welcome to the gay cafe. I'm like, oh, a real no-coured this Reza is with his writing. How dare you call me a coward? I put gay in cafe. It's their Reza Chronicles. I hope that other people can learn that cafes can also be gay. I'm a ticket on the road. Yeah, so basically it's one old, it's two old ladies.
Starting point is 00:32:57 One's calling one a dirty Jew and the other one's calling the other one a terrorist or whatever. And then the waiter thinks that they're against the game marriage. So he's like, how dare you? I am gay. I will not serve you a latte, a latte. And he's like, what are you talking about? We are talking about religion.
Starting point is 00:33:16 We love gay people. And then the music gets serious, Mike. It's like, you know, in the Persian community, there's like a lot of division between cultures and religion. And like, we don't mix. And you know, it's like, we have to mix. Because if you don't mix, it's like a baby shoe that gets put on like a deer instead of a baby.
Starting point is 00:33:40 And you're like, what's gonna happen to the baby shoe? It's never going to survive. Also women have to listen to men. If you don't make your cool aid, it's just a bunch of red dust under some water. Also, have sex with men as many people as you want and don't let anybody find out. And if they do, it's that bitch's fault
Starting point is 00:33:57 and your mom will never email them back. Ha-ha-ha. So, everyone is like clapping. It's, you know, everyone likes it. More basically jumps to his feet. He's such a kiss ass, Mike. And I don't really blame him considering the last time the resident Mike him, he basically ruined everything Mike had going on.
Starting point is 00:34:17 And he's married, even though Mike did that himself, you know, but the rest is trying to basically critique proof this or critic proof as they say this thing. Because even though it's shitty, he's now doing this thing like, well, I hope that people learn something from it. I'm like, yeah, they are going to learn something. They're going to learn that they can't just buy tickets to any old play that they see. Just because it's on the market doesn't mean you should buy tickets for it. I want to do something for other people in this situation. Like the waiter so I have to deal with fucking people like you.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Like I get it. It's like a warning. It sounds crazy, but I've been on a journey. So Resan Adam, um, co-going nuts. So yeah, oh cat going. Cats. So basically the scene opens with Miss Moo going absolutely nuts with her little toy, which of course like cracked me up. And I'm like, Miss Moo won't settle down. What should I do? I can like pick up Miss Moo and she starts squirming. And he's like, uh, she's sharp. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:35:19 have to tell people that GG scratched me instead of Miss Moo. I know. After we saw how the cat reacts to Adam, I'm wondering how much Gigi really did do to him. Because all we really saw was Gigi push him, right? And then he showed it looked like he was wearing the thorn of crowns as a necklace. I'm like, wait a minute. I don't remember seeing all that. I think they would have showed it if Gigi had done all that.
Starting point is 00:35:40 It was probably Miss Moo. He's very delicate. He's very, very, it was Miss Moo. It was 100% Miss Moo. So he said Stan, he's like, well, the cat hates me. So that reminds me, Brezza, are we putting a deposit down on the house? Are we ready to start a family? Well, you're not going to want to foster a adopt. I can see how this is working. He'll only say yes to surrogacy, but that costs coin, which
Starting point is 00:36:06 is basically the real reason he's just going to shove some sperm into a turkey based or an up MJ. And we all know it's coming to because MJ's remodel in her house is even in Sephiron patterns. Okay. Yeah. She's got her baby ready. She's got her living room ready to push that resist baby. Yeah, exactly. So essentially, Adam is not willing to adopt anything, any like child or whatever until Resa, until they've had like one of their own babies. So, you know, Resa now, to do this,
Starting point is 00:36:40 Resa has to sell his vacation home and all this stuff. And I actually feel like, I mean, that's like a big, that's a big ass. You're like, that the rest has to sell as house to do this. And it's gonna cost up to $170,000. And then Adam's like, I'm gonna put in $50,000, which of course $50,000 is a lot of money. But it's still like, I don't know, I feel like it's, I feel like it's
Starting point is 00:37:06 considering that Reza wants to adopt a child and Adam is really leading the surrogacy things, the surrogacy thing to then like make Reza foot most of the bill, even though they're, even though they're married and so it's not really that it's not, it's all their money, but it really is Reza's money, I don't know, I think that's actually pretty selfish. I think they're, they're both ridiculous. In this fight, res is like, yeah, how much will you deposit? It's like 50. It's like, not so great. And he goes, yeah, but I think that's enough like for a little chicken coop. It's because chicken.
Starting point is 00:37:40 And that's like chickens don't quack. Yeah, they do, and they also do this. Let me start like Nauti gets head, which chickens do do. Oh, this is this show, like getting into these fights. Yeah. And Adam's like, chickens don't do that, and he's like, honey, you say do, I'm married to a chicken.
Starting point is 00:37:59 So Adam's like, that's it, I don't have to listen to this. I'm gonna pace around the refrigerator and possibly get out of it. I am getting out of bottle of water. Now I'm gonna pace back to you. I don't have to take this, I'm like, you tell them, Adam. Yeah, so now Adam's really mad at it that Reza called him a chicken, which, you know, well, it is actually kind of mean,
Starting point is 00:38:18 but, you know, to be fair, like my friend Julia, she's Australian and well not even Julia. Hello. Chicken. And like you could say chicken in a nice way. It's like really sweet. My friend Julia does it too and she's Australian just like Janet. She goes like, oh, hi, chicken. Hi, chicken. Yeah, and also a chicken hawk is like a gross reza who goes after like younger, you know, guys. Also, um, also Adam, you did like spend a part of the early season, lamenting the fact that
Starting point is 00:38:48 GG scratched you. So yeah, you sort of are the chicken. You are a chicken. Are you crying right now? You are. You're a chicken. You're a chicken. You're a chicken. I can never ever feel sorry for Adam after he married Resa after what president did to him. And then Adam keeps bringing it up like, this makes me think of Thailand. I'm like, and then you married him. So you deserve whatever the fuck you get, okay? I just feel like I was gonna have this yogurt
Starting point is 00:39:14 and then I decided not to. And it makes me think like, that 11th hour decision by Reza to not marry me. It's like me with this yogurt right now. And I don't know if I can go back to that dark place. And Reza of course is being Reza to not marry me. It's like me with this yogurt right now. And I don't know if I can go back to that dark place. And Reza, of course, is being Reza. And I just have to say all this because it comes into play later.
Starting point is 00:39:30 He's like, don't be a biage. You're being a biage, chicken. You compared me to something stupid. And then the cat starts crawling on the couch. And he's like, honey, he's like, listen, Reza, think of whom we have babies. Okay, you can't just shut me down like this. And he goes, well, I don't like people dismissing me,
Starting point is 00:39:49 especially when I am the only one to compromise on everything. What is Adam compromise on? Let's see, nothing. Well, the funny thing is when he said, I don't like anyone dismissing me, that's right as Reza is telling Adam to be quiet. He's going, he's telling everybody to be quiet. He's snapping his fingers, waving them around, calling him chicken and a biot.
Starting point is 00:40:13 And then saying he doesn't like dismissive people. The reason why Resa was starting to get angry is because Miss Moose started climbing up on the airmeas through a blanket. And when he was like, he's like, honey, and then Adam's like, what? You know, like, it's not a life-hired death, like, get over it. And, you know, Reza's in his mind being like, that's my airmeas throw blanket. But to be fair, I, of course, then looked up that airmeas throw blanket. It retails for about $1,500. So, first of all, you're an idiot for buying a $1,500 throw blanket. That's stupid. It retails for about $1,500. So first of all, you're an idiot for buying
Starting point is 00:40:45 a $1,500 throw blanket. That's stupid. It's unnecessary. Go to Target. Get one for $2.00. It works just as well. And honestly, an orange blanket that has an H on it. It's not like the most amazing visual pattern of all time. I'm sure it's like very soft and lovely. But $1,500 is a lot, especially when you have two cats. So honestly, you're not prepared, okay? You're just basically not prepared in general. Also, it looks like a long horn splanket. It's like burnt orange.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It does, like just get one. Get one for $50 and like go on to Etsy. You know what, I also look in my searches. There are like knockoff ones that are like $50. But I just don't think you should ever spend $1500 on a throwblanket. I'm sorry. A few cats, especially if you have cats. That's their judge. It's always easy for me to be on Adam's side because as much of a pussy and an idiot, Adam is for marrying Resa. Resa's mean, okay? He's a jerk. We all know it. So it's easy to be on Resa's side, but then Adam goes,
Starting point is 00:41:49 well, if we have kids and your kid is like this to my kid, which Adam really, who says that? So then of course, I'm on Resa's side. He's like, our kid, your kid's screech, you better check yourself, or no one is gonna have kids with you, wreck yourself. You need to go read the Torah right now.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Yeah, which is- I choose you out here. Oh, you're on what sign? I was on Resaside, this whole argument, in fact. Even despite the Hermes blanket situation. They're both gross. So, I'm awesome, it's in bed. I'm fine. Soccer. Babe, I'm pregnant. Babe, this comforter? It's like knocking me comfort because I'm
Starting point is 00:42:31 not getting any love for my friends, babe. How about Comforossa? Is there a link called Comforossa? So, ossa is in bed reading a book about, guess what, pregnancy and Adam and Ressa come over. And that entire house is full of baby. It's like boxes of brand new expensive baby shit. You go girl. Yeah, she's just lying there. And so I'm also saying, you know, babe, it's like hard because like I have like a business,
Starting point is 00:42:58 I'm having a baby, but I also have a business and my business like my baby also. And like I'm trying to arrange a baby play date with my business and my baby baby, but my baby business is like also and like I'm trying to arrange a baby play day with my business and my baby baby but my baby business is like no I'm not ready yet because you're not paying attention to me and my baby is like no I'm not out of your room yet so I can't have a play day and like babe let's just like lie down on the bed altogether. No would you adopt a calf tan or would you try and push out your own calf tan? Babe, I would use a calf tan, but then tell everyone I would have my own calf tan.
Starting point is 00:43:30 He's like, are you hungry now that you are pregnant? I am. And I don't even live here. She's like, look, I have a lot of feelings, okay? Like, I feel guilty because, like, my friends are babies, and I'm not there for them. But I have a priority baby, and he's like one day delivered in my womb Like he's like a flat rate box, okay
Starting point is 00:43:52 Like doesn't even matter how heavy is he is he is he's the same price and that price is love, okay, babe I'm like yeah, but the ball is coming up. Don't you think she's had enough to deal with without thinking more about balls? Yeah, okay. That's what got her into this mess, Resa. And she's and and he's like, do you feel disconnected from everyone? And she's like, well, you know, the more babe that I feel disconnected, it's more than not so much that I feel disconnected. It's more like I feel connected to myself. Like, oh, I have to point out that the entire internet was like, where's her headboard? I don't have a headboard. I know, but it's awesome. She's like with a Jackson. She needs like a headboard or like a you know One of those tent beds or something
Starting point is 00:44:35 I just wrote that down because I was reading it all over the internet. I didn't mean to slam your headboard It miss. No, you didn't. I muted it. So people wouldn't hear me chewing on my Starbucks reward and screaming No, I've been muting on and off so you wouldn't hear me chewing on my Starbucks reward. I'm screaming fuck you No, I've been muting on and off so you don't hear me going I'd be respectful to the people. I've never been to paradise because paradise is inside of me right now And I've been to me like okay So also explains pretty well She's like you know six years ago babe babes when we like first babe met It was all about
Starting point is 00:45:07 Babe partying and then like they've all been in the same gear for like six years and I'm over it I'm like sick of the bullshit. You know, I don't want bad vibes, but I'm not gonna call Michael MJ. I need to do me So resa's like, you know she might as well have just said I have everything I want now I have a business and a baby dooses. I'm out. Yeah, you know, she might as well have just said, I have everything I want now, I have a business and a baby, deuces I'm out. Yeah, that is what she said. Yeah, that is exactly, that is exactly. Maybe if you were better friends to her,
Starting point is 00:45:33 she wouldn't say deuces. She's like, oh, wait a second. I have my family, I have a nice house. I am with a Jackson. My company's actually doing nicely. I have a baby on the way. I'm relatively happy in life. Maybe I don't need to be with some toxic assholes.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Yeah, maybe I don't need to hang out in some low-rant bar on Hollywood Boulevard, watching everybody try and catch serving in something, Turun. Yes. And you make a good point because I was going to mention this later, but we can mention it right now. This winter ball, this black tie ball was basically across the street from Atami's Burgers and around the corner from the Museum of Death here in Hollywood. Okay. Classic Shah's party. So next up, MJ, poor MJ, you know, MJ does this whole remodel. Well,, I mean she hired her friend, but still she pays for this whole remodel
Starting point is 00:46:28 And this is the part of the property brothers where it's like whoa look. It's just like our 3d rendering You know, it's like a cheap version of something expensive You win and then MJ is supposed to jump up and down and cry and then Tommy skin a holder And they're gonna promise each other to spend so much quality time in their new living room But Adam and Brezza come first and make the whole thing about their stupid fucking fight Stupid stupid stupid. So yeah, they're in the apartment. We hear a recipe like Mercedes. I'm here for the pre-party There you go. So We see her new decor, which I guess is an improvement over the lack of daycore,
Starting point is 00:47:07 but I personally found it to be very cluttered. There were like, as you mentioned before, it was definitely Reza's imprint. Reza's imprint was there. There were chevrons everywhere, patterns on the card with Shag, like overflowing on every pillow. Lots of textures. Very busy. There was a whole wall of what looked like,
Starting point is 00:47:26 oh my god, this, okay, I'm highlighting my ignorance again. Is it Yiddish writing? What did they call that writing? That was Arabic writing. Oh, it was Arabic. It looked like a pie sign with like two dots above it. And I was like, what is that? Is that like a other grand mother?
Starting point is 00:47:41 Well, that'd be great. So, yeah, I'm like, this Chevron would wall, I thought that was really cool. I like that. I actually like the Chev That would be grand mother. So, yeah, I like the chevron wood wall. I thought that was really cool. I like that. I actually like the chevron wood wall. I just found that everything else in the apartment was very busy. Well, it was very property brothers in that one room was done. They're like, we did your whole house and you see the one room, but they never go upstairs.
Starting point is 00:47:59 They show the other parts and then they show MJ go to the bathroom and it's still just like MJ nightmare. They're just everywhere. Curly gyrne spilling out at drawers. Why are the property brothers considered attractive by the way that for another episode? I don't know. I think because they're twins. I think it's like that twin hotness thing where people are like oh my god they're twins. They must be hot. Yeah. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm, they must be hot. Yeah, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so,
Starting point is 00:48:26 I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so,
Starting point is 00:48:34 I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so,
Starting point is 00:48:42 I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, like an elastic band and pleading, you know, and be like, like hanging in the store. That's what they should be. Not doing houses. Um, well, they did. So MJ, MJ is like, yeah, my big reveal and Adam's on the couch crying. And we're just like, what's wrong?
Starting point is 00:49:00 Nothing. Yes, no, there's not nothing. We had an argument. And you know, when something says something got ruined like my blanket, and you say it's not life or death, that is dismissive. And I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who says dismissive.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Oh, yeah. Good. So Adam starts to, well, first of all, Adam, Adam's already starting, is already emotional. And when Resa is saying this, he's like, I don't want to be a relationship where someone says it's not a matter of life with death. It is, it's air and death. That even Oprah was allowed into the... I restore it. And I got a blanket and you are saying it's not a matter of life and death is mis-mute. I do know that I want to be with someone.
Starting point is 00:49:47 That's always what he says in the fight. And Adam was right about that. Yeah, Adam is always a right. You always pull out the divorce card. Even if I'm thinking of leaving your ass, at least I'm not saying in the middle of fight, we're supposed to be enjoying this cheese tray. And he's like, Adam's tears behind his hands.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Thanks Adam, yeah, that really helped the party. Okay, you can still hear him like It's bad enough that Miss Moose scratched my tricep earlier today now I have to hear this No, yeah, it's it that's a really dick move ofelle. Like you can't say shit like that because you're almost like blackmailing Adam or you know threatening Adam and that's not the way relationships should be. Yeah, so Adam's now crying. I'm just just trying to have her moment because she's like, look, I now crying. I'm just just trying to have her moment because she's like, look, I like, I finished my apartment and that means therefore I'm happy and able to have a baby. I'm like, maybe not, but like, she's getting overshadowed as you mentioned by this. And then Mike shows up and he's like, whoa, boys, what's going on? You know in different cultures, you have to cry because your mother is so great. Is that what you're crying about? I don't know it's stupid. Let's just move on
Starting point is 00:51:08 Shut up Adam. Okay, so the commercial comes and this lady's like listen Mr. Odeus to her dog And then it ends by her going the things you love can stink Now the only reason I'm writing down these commercials is because they all seem to fit this episode Well, I thought that was the funniest cut. It's like MJ's apartment and Reza being an asshole cut to things you can love can stink. Okay, back to size. Yeah. So they show up at this party and that this like there's an SUV and Reza gets out of the SUV and then Vita gets out and then Vita just like closes the door behind her and you Like Adam comes out. He's like oh
Starting point is 00:51:51 I just got hit by a door He doesn't even say that he goes I almost got hit by a door. So you almost got hit by a door Which means you didn't get hit by a door That car threatened to leave me if I didn't get hit by a door. That car threatened to leave me if I didn't get hit by a door. It always reminds me of the seminal film from the 80s. Hello again, where I think it was like a scene with seal award and Shelley Long or who knows what, but so much shows up because, oh my god,
Starting point is 00:52:18 I was almost late and Shelley Long is like, that's called being on time. I was like, ooh, burn. I'll always remember that. Oh, hello again. Also known as Shelley Long Second Chance. Didn't work out. So then Tommy shows up with MJ at this party. He's like, whoa, talk about classy.
Starting point is 00:52:39 Is that white glitter? Is that white glitter? Is that white glitter? Look, yes, Tommy. Calm down over there. That hold on. I'm just going to go with it. Tommy's burgers. white glitter is that white glitter is that white glitter yes Tommy come down over there hold on I'm just gonna go with the Tommy's burgers gets in chili fries and bring it over here okay and then fucking Mike he's like you know this isn't just a ball this is a Persian ball it's like tuxedos first and most of it's fake.
Starting point is 00:53:05 And then this beautiful buffet, like most white people would be like buffets. Hello. Have you heard of the golden coralser? Have you heard of any event ever? He's like, he's like, you have most white people be like, what a buffet. But like, Persons, we got chicken, we got fish, we have raisins, digging. There's enough for everyone.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Like, okay, all right. Listen, Mr. Avelby is when you're here, your family. We've been around the phase. Many people have been to black and white affairs. I think the issue is not so much, oh my God, I can't believe there's a buffet at a black tie event. I think the issue is not so much, oh my God, I can't believe there's a buffet at a black tie event. I think the issue is more like, I can't believe they're doing a black tie event
Starting point is 00:53:49 at the place that's next to shaky speed so. Like what sort of, like, to me, it's a little strange, were there like any tables, was there any, like it just seemed like there was like a black cocktail party where nobody's doing anything they're just all wearing seats because it's like a thrown together last minute piece of shit there's nobody there. Shervin's brother comes with his fiancee and he's he's like yeah I'm on TV but also mortified to be part of these people he goes up to Gigi and he's like, hey Gigi, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Here's a gift. And she's like, is it a vibrator? And he's like, yeah, wow, that rings great. Gigi, she's like, isn't it nice? Like flashing the ring in his face. And his fiance is like, God, can we just get a shaky? Shaky's would feel like the four seasons after five minutes of this fucking party. I know. I felt bad for Shervin's brother because he was like the Danny to be Danny to be doe to Shervin's Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was like, oh, Shervin got all the looks. Yeah, but the brother got all the class. The brothers like, here's a gift.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Who else? Who else? The brother got all the class the brothers like here's a gift. Who else? Who else? The brother got career longevity. So Ressa's, Ressa sees her showing government her ring and he's like, bitch, don't run around the party stabbing people in the eye with your ring. We're person people will flock to the fake diamond, okay? Yeah, I don't know. I know I feel like Resa if he had a giant ring like that he'd be happy to show everyone to anyway that crying scene flashing his golden diamond ring at the camera he's like it's like here's why I put up
Starting point is 00:55:34 with Resa so then all this fake snow starts to come down immediately everyone's choking on it including MJ we saw a doctor. Tabsa Mer, who she came to our 300th episode party that we had like a year or two ago. She's from the singles project, right? Wasn't that her show? Yes. So that's our second crossover of the episode. Yes, and then later we saw Ms. Gretchen Rossi. Yes, which is completes the trifecta of luminaries from other Bravo shows. Like, well, this is a Persian buffet. However. No, she brought that.
Starting point is 00:56:17 That is a duck, Adam. That is how a duck sounds. She brings her diva, Mara Rita glass from from Ross. I brought someone a ceramic chef. I bought you a painting. It says Paris in five different languages. Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris again. So Su, Mike's mom Su shows up and he greets her at the car and he gives her a corset which that's a little bit. Of course I'm sorry. I mean it's so someone giving their brother a corset actually kind of makes sense.
Starting point is 00:57:06 That'll be very, very, very, very, very. She gave her a corset and it was weird. It's like, hello, date. You're the best mother ever. It's so good to have you here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So Reza is like, GG. I see that somebody's mother is here. I think it is your turn
Starting point is 00:57:29 And she's like no no no he's like, but you're coming from such a good Pure place and everyone can see that because you're an angel now good place Gigi You are coming from a good place. I don't need you can do it. This is your destiny, Neo. The fake drinks. I'm trying to think what I was going to say. Oh, I'm glad that Gigi is at least finally realizing that Reds is just making her do his dirty work because he's done that to her for years. Well, he's done it to everybody for years. Yeah. But at least this time she makes him like follow through on it, which was pretty good. So he's like, go talk to her. So she goes up to the mom and she's like,
Starting point is 00:58:09 hello Mrs. Shewad. Did you look at my ring? She's like, very good dear. Very good. So then she starts going in about Jessica. And she's like, look, for five months, we've seen Mike like sad. And in New York, he's still, he said,
Starting point is 00:58:25 I still love Jessica. And the mom is like, okay. Yeah. You haven't heard this, you know, and you can see her. And then it shows Mike saying, nothing like they're making us sound like he said, like you point out nothing. Yeah, nothing. Yeah. And so then, so Sue is basically, she's tolerating GG very well and she's saying oh, you know He's hurt. He's very much very very much hurt. He's very much hurt. I'm like he cheated on Jessica Okay, it breaks my heart that he is so hurt by that awful woman and she's like well I heard that she sent you an email. She was what about email What you want what you want? No, what know what you know, huh? What you want
Starting point is 00:59:07 So Mike tries to interrupt in gg way some away and She's like well just Jessica was apologizing and I thought I was really sweet like maybe you can give her another chance because people make mistakes like Personally, I've made mistakes Almost fucking Mike was one of them. Did I mention that to you by have you heard about that? So Sue is like she's like I was like mother to her you know I took her to doctor I make her soup I put my own special poison in her soup. I was like mother. I put my own special poison in her suit. I was like mother.
Starting point is 00:59:49 And as things happen up and down. And when something happens down and you pack and leave, nothing can be fixed. Which is true. But I mean, basically the mom's like, okay, so when my son goes down on Randos, other Randos, and then you just leave. How are we supposed to fix that? How about having that be kind of aligned in the sand that your son stops fucking up other women? Like I'm, I'm kind of sick of this whole micro-specs his mother so much,
Starting point is 01:00:15 but he treats other women like total dog shit. Yeah. And it's, well, that's kind of like a standard thing that happens with guys. They almost feel like because they treat their moms so well that they, therefore, love women. I mean, all one has to do is look on Facebook and look at like every single woman saying, hashtag me too.
Starting point is 01:00:34 And you realize that guys are pretty much sacks of shit. And they can hide behind that, but I love my mother. And yet, like, look at two episodes ago in New York City, the way you were so condescending to GG by talking about Shalom and and like, you want enough, but that's what you get, you know? Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's the man. He needs to be the man. Yeah, highlight of the episode. We then cut to Vita sitting at a table eating alone. alone. The best. And people are saying like, is that karma that she stuck alone? I mean, if that's karma, that's good karma. Like, look at all the shit she's being left out of in this case. She's never been happier, I think. Yeah. She's like, quiet with a buffet. And you know, I get it. When I'm in buffet mode, I don't care who's around me. I'm like, I'm building my plate and I'm plopping it down and I'm making an attack on that plate. You know, like, if people are sitting with me, I don't, in
Starting point is 01:01:27 fact, I don't like it when people are sitting with me because I want to talk. I want to eat. Yeah. You do. Like, when you're, when dinner comes you eat, you're not like a, a bider and then a talker and then like, take a bite and then talk, which I like, because I'm like that to you. Like, we can talk during drinks. Okay. Yeah. I'm like that too like we can talk during drinks. Yeah, I'm sure that shit in shovel Um, and Mike is let's say so Mike is getting pissed because he sees Reza at work here basically So he takes her over to the side. He's like GG What did you talk to my mom about and he's doing is like I'm in the sopranos
Starting point is 01:02:01 He's trying to act all tough for his faces like twitching, but he can't look anybody in the eye. That's my favorite. When Mike tries to act tough, and he's like looking at the tree behind her. Yeah. And she's like, well, you know, we know families, like we know each other's families and like, look at you, like right now, you're being like, eh, what is that? Like the, eh, is there something behind me? And he's like, I don't get involved in your business. And you, you are always in mind. And she's like, I don't get involved in your business and you are always in mind.
Starting point is 01:02:25 And she's like, when do I ever cause problems? For, well, first of all, like I said, it was two episodes ago, Mike, that you were like telling, you were like trying to be a counselor between Gigi and Shalom and you were telling Gigi how she should act around someone like Shalom and you were saying to Shalom things like
Starting point is 01:02:46 Homie like we're like the same homie homie like you know my amigo is like my ego my ego is like my amigo I don't know one of them's a car one of them's just me. I don't know It's like listen you get involved in everything Mike. You are always there to offer unsolicited advice. Okay, so just Like be cool. don't be uncool. Don't be all uncool. And of course he brings up Shervin's party and we cut to Gigi like, Yeah, how about you trying to fuck me?
Starting point is 01:03:17 Or whatever that whole thing is. That one time, yeah. Yes, he'll never let go as much as he pretends. And I wouldn't either, by the way. No, but that was that was Pretty intense situation. So this is where Gigi makes a good move finally. She's like, you know what? Instead of you going at me like I'm so surprised she didn't flip over like a white litter table But she's like, you instead of you coming at me. Why don't you go and read that because he made me or you too scared
Starting point is 01:03:42 You too scared to talk to Resa reservoir. I go go on go confront him Let's go. Let's go and he is scared because they want to rest and he looks terrified to have to be confronting Resa mm-hmm and he scolds both of them and it's pretty much like Ever just out of my business like whatever this is my I'm a man And I can handle my own shit and like let me do it on my own terms blah blah blah blah blah and Resin knows how he handles like you're right. Okay. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're a very sorry that Adam just missed you Mike like storms off. He's all pissed and Adam's like Mike. Let's get a pick my love and he goes shut up Adam So good for For Adam. So Resa to Mike.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Resa goes over to Mike. Yeah, Resa goes over to Mike because he's still not finished with seal. Okay. He's he's actually gotten somebody to go after a mom for him, which is love. Resa hate him. That's pretty impressive, even for Resa, getting a girl to go after someone's mom So it didn't work, but he's not gonna give up because he's Reza and he threw those balls Just out the season finale. He's gonna make it work So he goes up to Mike again, and he's like look I get it But I want to tell you something
Starting point is 01:04:58 Jessica sent your mom an email and it was super apologetic and it was super loving and she wants to get back together with you and I wish you would share with your mother that you have feelings for Jess because in 30 years you'll wonder what if I try doing what Resa said just once I like that they spend a lot of time on this show pondering what they're gonna be thinking in 30 years. 30 years, it'd be too late. So Mike, he goes over to sue. And he basically, I don't remember what he says, but he's based like, I heard there was an email. No, he does like marching up to her because now, res is like,
Starting point is 01:05:38 listen, you better stand up for yourself to your mother, which none of us even know that that's what's going on. Okay, Mike fucked up. They got a divorce. Now they're making it sound like the mom is the one that's at fault. The mom is not the one at fault. Leave her alone. So, Resa gets him all worked up. He marches up to his mom and he's like, mom, I love you, but I'm telling you right now, who I choose to be with is my business. And I would hope that you have respect for them. And blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah and she's like um Okay, I support whoever you love because I love you. It's like you're a good mom. You're a good mom Whereas I got someone to go tell off his own mom at a party for now I mean that is I I give it to him
Starting point is 01:06:20 Yeah, and she and she base is like no, I love you no matter what and I will support you and any decision you make especially if you make that I decision and never talk to that whole again. Pretty much. So MJ and Adam, uh, MJ is like, don't you want to fight with Reza? It's the finale because you guys remember when you were crying on my new couch member and he's like, I feel tears coming on again, okay? Like, here's the thing, we got an argument. Which, of course, had nothing to do with him or anything that he said, which is such a couple complaint. But he's like, we got an argument and his initial reaction is divorce. It's just like in Thailand.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Like, it makes me feel less than. It makes me want to reevaluate being married. Um, hello. It's the same thing you're complaining about. Yeah, yeah, although I think though that he's not saying it as a threat. He's saying, you know, maybe I shouldn't be married to this guy. He's going to constantly be threatening me to like, like, that he chose the wrong person. Well, then maybe I shouldn't be with him after all.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Yeah, well, so now he gets, so now Adam gets all choked up. And so MJ calls Resa over to clear the air. And I'm like, it just took me back to the 11th hour of like we're not getting married. And I was, in charge of my company myself. So you were really upset about that. I thought that was just like a scripted plot thing for the show.
Starting point is 01:07:37 You really, that was a, that was real? That was a real wedding that he, that was backed out of. I thought for sure that was a fake wedding all the time. Well, it always goes back to that first big stupid fight. He's like, when you say, maybe I'm a wrong person, like it took me back to Thailand. I'm like, oh my God, you've been back to Thailand
Starting point is 01:07:55 so many times in your own head, and you've never even been taken there one time in real life. Yeah, to be fair, he was about two blocks away from Ty Town, so, you know. He's like, I can walk right out of here and get some chicken pad tied. Do not make me do it right now. They were literally, I mean, I'm not joking.
Starting point is 01:08:13 They were across street from Palm's tie where there's an Elvis impersonator. Raza, it's time for you to make good. Take me to Ty Restaurant right now. Well, I can't. I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that right now. It's like your love at that. We're all over again! Yes, it is the 11th hour, and that place is closed. Shaky!
Starting point is 01:08:33 I have... I have never identified with a dish as much as Patsy Il, Raza. Patsy Grouse! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe and so uh... so rest is like i am sorry uh... basically i think the only one who really learned something this is in his mj because her apartment is somewhat clean for once and they even showed her
Starting point is 01:09:03 putting on first uh on first flip flops so she wouldn't get his black feet. Well, yeah, that's true. Like the most black we've seen. So as the show and the season comes into the finish line, Resa, of course, takes the chance to compliment himself and talk about six years ago. I was like, this, but not like this, and I've grown up a lot.
Starting point is 01:09:26 And we've all grown up a lot, but we're still the same people, but we've grown up a lot. And it's just like sad that Asa feels like she had to separate herself from us in order to feel that way. I'm like, well, no, she, you guys haven't grown up at all. You just are talking about more grown up things,
Starting point is 01:09:44 but you're still immature and she realizes, if I'm gonna be a parent, I can't be with you fools. Yeah, and especially pregnant. I mean, my God. And he's like, you know, that's Asa. But for the rest of us, we are going to keep growing, loving and laughing. It's like, you will keep growing.
Starting point is 01:10:01 And that's all I can say for anybody in this cast, okay? And also, Gigi has to make a speech that's all about her like this is not your engagement party bitch. This is like a random White party, okay, so yeah, I would like to make a speech. I'm married It was a revolutionary year in Israel She's like I went to Israel. I had amazing year. I went to Israel. I got mad at a wall. And I realized the only wall I want separating me and my life is a wall that says, congratulations. You're a gauge. You've got to ring on it. The only wall we are ever going to have in our house is one that Shalom can break through like the Kool-Aid man when he gets mad.
Starting point is 01:10:46 So they're like one month later. Ding ding ding ding. We're back in the white catering room with CCCC Sasha. They're actually across the street at Tommy's now. That's in Tommy's burger. It's not Tommy at MJ's. And she's like, oh my god. as I get married and then it goes two months later shocking divorce in the Shahza sub-sac and music's like boom boom boom boom it's not even wall-wall-wall it's like the music like the the record just slows to stop it well who saw that in a moment coming raise Raise his hand. Sorry, I did. The end.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Now, you know that the producers hated Asa this year. You know, because they didn't even put the baby in the epilogue. I mean, that was a baby. That was her whole story. They didn't even bother showing a picture, or an announcement, or anything like that. Like, oh, by the way, Asa had a baby.
Starting point is 01:11:43 They didn't even bother. Which, just to me me shows she truly got the Lily Goldie G treatment. She, I would be shocked if she's coming back next year. No, I don't think she'll be coming back because Reza was basically like, well, us is gone now. So too bad that I said, I'm sick Jesus. And then when he said, I'm not the same as six years ago,
Starting point is 01:12:03 and they show him licking an armpit. That was like two years ago. Can we stop not the same as six years ago, and they show him licking an armpit. That was like two years ago. Can we stop pretending that that was six years ago? And is that like the bar for growth that you're not no longer licking people's armpits at MJ's and stuff? Like, like the only reason why you grew is because MJ is closed. Oh, this show. Well, next week, we will be back with the reunion for this show, which I'm sure is going to be pure class Because if they're already shading them each other like this on watch what happens that reunion must just be a train wreck
Starting point is 01:12:32 It will be and the and the trailer for that reunion it climaxes with GG turning to awesome and saying I just have a quote on that question Do you want to be on this show and it's like boom so Clearly that's what we're leading up to. Austin's good saying goodbye. Uh. Merring us say goodbye. No, no, no, no. That's so pushing. So thanks everyone. Uh, go buy those last few tickets for San Francisco. I mean, who knows. Maybe they're sold out by now. That'd be crazy And stay tuned for more announcements. We'll have them as soon as possible. We'll be back tomorrow to discuss real house
Starting point is 01:13:14 Size of Orange County and of course you can just follow all the exciting stuff. I want you crap from dot com So uh bye everyone. and Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.

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