Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Drag to the Finish Line
Episode Date: October 17, 2017Shahs of Sunset puts an end to the season this week. Reza dresses like Vida, makes his husband cry, and tops off the Sunday by manipulating someone into telling off their own mom. That’s ta...lent. Enjoy! This week’s bonus is a breakdown of Top Chef Colorado’s cast bios. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on
Yeo Braves. I'm Ronny
Karem from the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast and here I am with my adorable sweet Monday
brightness filled little friend Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blender
holo bing. Hi Ronny, what's up? How you doing babe? I'm doing pretty swell. It's boiling hot outside here in Los Angeles.
I walked outside to go down to Starbucks and literally like four supermodel
Abercrombie guys just went jogging in a pack shirtless right by my my my building and I was like wow I love LA.
I walked my dog and saw an old lady yelling at a construction guy
and then hitting a truck so that's that's the difference in our mornings. Yeah okay well both
exciting and different ways. Yeah I said I love LA but it was in a very different tone than you did.
Also I'm not built for this kind of heat in fucking end of where are we in to
October. Like what the hell?
Yeah, it's it's mid October, but it is it felt like I was standing out like
behind a bus.
Like I was standing behind a bus that was starting up and I was getting like just
hit with hot bus air.
Yes, hot bus LA unfiltered air.
So it's Monday speaking of unfiltered air. We've got the shots. But first
Do not forget to come to our San Francisco show people. It's November 4th at social hall
There's a couple tickets left. Go by them
Yeah, we're gonna be announcing different cities later on in the week and also another little announcement
I did or later on live life.
I don't know we had a number ready this week but hopefully we can this week but probably
just stay tuned for that.
Yeah later in life.
And also I did Malz's lifetime podcast called Mother May I Sleep with Podcasts and we did
to be fat like me and it was three hours of just laughing our asses off over childhood fat stories basically.
So go listen to that. It's one of the few lifetime movies I've actually already seen. I know.
And you wrote you did like a picture recap a long time ago you were telling me a photo cast.
Yeah, I think it's on TV guys and somewhere probably probably like it was from like 10 years ago.
So it was probably full of like all sorts of jokes that are now like
No longer socially acceptable
It wants to shame me feel free to my how things change
10 years like when TV gasm was taken offline. I'm like, you know what? I think that's probably for the best
Yeah, yeah, sometimes it is I remember when I started trash talk TV after the death of TV
Gasm I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm gonna start going by my real name instead of flip it
I don't know that that was the best idea
It's like you just sort of like setting yourself up for just a huge amount of disasters
Just like let me make sure I say something that lives on forever on the internet. Yeah, it's like I only got probably a few hundred readers at the time,
but it could ruin your life forever.
It's like, yeah, and hey, still writing them.
So I guess I can't complain too much.
You know, make one really, really, really bad joke.
And suddenly everything is a disaster.
It just has Neenie Leaks.
Who's getting fired from everything right now?
Well, that was a pretty bad joke.
Well, yeah, I'm not excusing it.
I'm just saying like, you know, the internet is like, oh, she couldn't even say get raped
by your Uber driver.
She would have been like, get raped by a taxi driver.
Yeah, your bus per se and her whatever.
It's good to see that we all can get shamed and a lot of us deserve it, by the way.
Well, I've been rolling around and shamed my whole fucking life.
So good luck, people.
It's like putting a warm blanket around me.
Speaking of just unrelenting shame, why don't we talk about the Shaza Sunset?
Talk about some people who have gone out of their way to make sure they could never be gainfully employed once this show is over.
Now let's, uh, real quick dive into what's what happens and don't worry.
I didn't watch it.
So I'm not going to be doing like a full on 30 minute critique of what's what happens.
But, uh, people were texting me last night.
You have to watch watch what happens because Reza's ridiculous. I was like well, duh, he's Reza. So Reza and Micron watch
what happens. Reza is in shorts, a silver plethora bomber jacket, and Nihei,
one of those Louis Vuitton socks I think, something like that, and Mike's next to
him at a full face and makeup and a plaid suit or whatever. And apparently Reza
was like, yeah, Shervin tried to fuck Gigi's sister, but he was too high on Coke or a substance to do it.
And everybody's freaking out that Reza is such a pig. Where have you guys been?
What show have you been watching? Why is this? He is a shock.
Are the ratings low because they are going out there on to watch what happens live, and they are
just saying whatever they can. Like last week MJ was out there saying that Asa had,
she had been involved with a married guy,
and that's how she got her house in Venice
because it was like a payoff,
a some sort of situation like that.
So they're out there, they're scorching the earth.
But then again, they always scorch the earth.
And I think it's funny that Reza was in like
some sort of silver blazer and shorts
because I've noticed that this year on
Shaz that he seems to be embracing
more
Of himself as a personality rather than like oh, this is who I am. I'm a real estate agent and you're looking into my life now
It's like
Hey, look at me. I've done stand up at the improv and now I'm a comedian. I'm a man Madonna.
You know, I like you sucks. And I kind of actually don't like that. I feel like it takes away some authenticity from the show.
Like, yes, he is a personality. He is famous. He's, you know, he is known more for being a funny person than he is a
He is known more for being a funny person than he is a realtor, but I also feel like he's like jumping his own shark.
He's jumping the rest of it.
Yeah, I mean like a little toy shark.
I can't imagine actually having to motorcycle and jumping over a tank with a shark in it.
Yeah, like a little.
You're gonna need a little.
Sorry, go ahead.
Data, data,aws, get it.
Run, bitch.
Bitch be like, I mean, the ocean and versions are like, the only ocean I go into is the Dead
Sea, which isn't even a notion, there's no sharks in there.
He's like one of those little toy sharks you have when you're a baby in the tub.
It's like you wind it up and it kind of swims around and starts calling you a slut in
a hole in a coquette. It's just a DVD from season three of Shark Tank. I'm gonna jump up a
Barbara Korker and who's the real estate agent now bitch? What girls be like? I'll keep my shark in a tank.
Persons be like you best go in the ocean bitch. Persons be like, Persons like, I have a new type of dog food that I'm going to pitch
to Bubba, quick green and shake tank.
That's my reza doing the shark tank music.
Oh, reza.
Well, I do like that he's making fashion choices on the show that are more accurate.
Like he took off that brooch, because you know, his thing, like every big guy, especially
older big guys, as when I can speak on this, when I gained a ton of weight this last round,
immediately I went and brought, bought like like zebra socks from old Navy or like
Socks with polka dots. I don't know. It's like look my socks are interesting don't look at my muffin top
Resas doing that I guess as we saw and watch what happens
But he's also doing that broach thing where he used to have the octopus diamond to bridge and this time he's wearing
Literally a gold stop sign
Yeah, I will eat just like look in a mirror.
Yeah, like, it's like white people be like stop in Persian people be like,
this is on my right, Tid, bitch.
I noticed that too.
He has a severe, he's like entering his octagon phase.
It's a gold octagon.
It's not saying stop.
It's saying, act to God. It's not saying stop. It's saying please pass the butter
Stop stealing all the butter off the buffet, which only Persian people eat
Stop in the name of Mercedes
Well, it's octopus octagon. What's the octo? Maybe that's his number. I don't know. I would do his numerology, but I'm bored
Yeah, maybe next time would'll be like a menorah.
Eight, you know, maybe.
It's all in the middle.
I'm more Jewish.
I did a play about having to light eight candles.
And then my other grandma getting mad because I was wasting electricity.
It's the miracle of resin. Okay, so this is called the thread that broke the
camel's back. I don't know why since none of the wear real thread. It's like the spandex
that just squeezed the camel's hubs right out of his throat. But this episode is called
the thread that breaks the camel's back. Yeah, according to the TV GUIDE.
But was there a thread?
There wasn't even a thread.
There wasn't even a storyline thread during the episode.
I don't think so.
Oh, you know what it was?
Maybe it was a reference to the fight that stemmed from mismoo climbing on Reza's
airmeas through blankets.
Oh, maybe, but wouldn't that be the cat here at the Brook that camels back?
I would, I don't even know why I can't even understand.
Under the way you can't even, then I think it's time that we separated.
Those two. Okay, so we'll get into it now. We'll get into it now.
So this focused on the
game.
So, I'm going to be a little
bit more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little
bit more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little
bit more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit
more focused on the game.
So, I'm going to be a little bit focused on the game. So, I'm going to be a little bit focused on the game. So, I'm going to be are coming, but things are different. Some of my drown and that shark is still omnipresent.
It's kind of basically saying, yes, we have jumped the shark.
And we're going to throw Santa in there too.
Santa's jumping the shark.
So, um, Santa kind of has jumped the shark.
Let's face it.
That's another episode.
Okay. I mean, let's, I mean, let's, we can get into that.
Santa, you know, I Think
What was the name of our crampus? We need crampus to come back and set Santa straight. Yeah, crampus Santa fight. That's for a Christmas
Recap, okay, I feel like I feel like I'll cover the downfall of Santa soon. Don't you worry kids?
I feel like Santa is the real housewives as crampus is the Shaza sunset
They're like the crampus of Bravo.
Yes, except they both just take things.
Krampus just like just takes our souls and puts them in a bag and just runs off of them.
Yes, six them up the shots with the shots. So Gigi gets out of an Uber X. I don't know why I
needed to write that down, but I was impressed because that's like big thinking for Gigi.
And she goes into this like white, it's all white room with everything's like glittery and white.
And I thought this is like a community theater production of Vanderpump rules, you know, it's like a lease of Vanderpump set.
And sure enough, it is a lease of Vanderpump set because who's there?
So so so belly hill.
Shishishie darling, belly hill is it's Kevin Lee.
Yeah, it's Kevin Lee, our favorite Lisa Vanderpromp event
designer who he is the guy that Martin Schwartz character
from Father of the Bride is based off of correct.
I don't even know.
I think you know this.
I've always called him Yoko Homo, and I'm sticking with it. I don't even know. I do know this. I've always called him Yoko Homo and I'm sticking
with it. I love that little guy. Love his wigs. Love his dark glasses. Love his white glitter room.
Yeah. Um, yeah. So, did you walk in? And of course, the very first thing she does is like,
check out my ring. And he's like, I don't even know who you want, bitch. But
I'm just showing every one Congratulations, everyone. Congratulations.
Oh my god.
Okay, I'm going to the back.
Look at these gold plastic plates.
Bye.
Yeah.
Raza shows up also.
And he's like, she she she talling Beverly is.
Get it?
I watch your other show too.
There was actually a good amount of bravo crossover in this episode, but we'll get to that
later. Yes. So Raza shows up in his best plethora and baseball cap. Just to start some some shit.
Welcome to Winter Wonderland. So he's he's like, we have hatched a plan to have a person winter ball and we will do it proper.
Then they start talking kind of over food, but really this isn't a plan any kind of ball because that ball ended up being like a fruit tray from Ralph's and
Some white tablecloths and Gretchen basically. Let's face it. This is basically so Reza can talk GT the doing his dirty work for him
Exactly so base so GG tell says that she talked to Jessica
And she's at what she was talking to Jessica, she was saying
how they've all seen a different side of Mike and then Mike really is in love with her and
that you know the my's afraid of his mom and we learn that Jessica actually reached out to Mike's
mom and sent her an email of some sort and the mom just was not having it and I'm just I don't
understand why Jessica has to apologize to anyone in this situation.
I mean, yes, she's like a brat, for sure, but Mike cheated on her. So why is she the one who has to
grovel to the mom? Well, further war, why is it reser a GGS business? It's like Reza. Okay, I get that
you're at home pretending that you're even considering like adopting a child or whatever
to look nicer or actually as he says later to save money which does make it believable.
I know you know my point is I know you don't have a lot going on and I know that your job
is kind of to go after everyone else in the cast who ruined their lives before they can
start focusing on you but you're going after a mom now really yeah a mom exactly and the
thing that's annoying is that they're all suddenly
hanging off of Mike saying that he still loves
that he's like in love with Jessica.
And when they show the flashbacks,
I don't know if it was now or later in the episode,
what Mike said was, yeah, no, like, I will always love her.
If she needs me, I'll drop everything.
I'll go be there for I'll always have feelings.
That's not the same as saying,
I'm in love with her and want to go back to her.
That's just saying, you know,
they were in a relationship.
We'll always have some love for her,
especially because he wasn't the one to call it off.
So they are like, literalizing everything he's saying
and now making a thing like,
don't you see Mike is still in love.
He's afraid of his mother.
We have to fix it.
Gigi, you do it.
Yeah, as if they weren't the ones
who were trying to break them up in the first place.
Yeah, exactly.
How's that place?
So he's like, it's your job.
It's a person woman to person woman.
You know, you can show a person women too.
It's a Midsfa.
It's not.
The only thing Gigi hasn't common with the Midsfa
is the bar part, okay, fuck her.
Back the fuck down, Resa.
The moms are off limits.
Yeah, except for who's next?
So Tommy and MJ and Vita are in a car driving to see the dad in the nursing
home or the hospital or whatever.
And it starts with Vita going, no, no, no, if you wanted to air condition
58 degree, you let me out of the car.
Tell me.
I'm so furry you told me oh and so they're they're basically going to
the hospital because since shams wasn't able to come in for
Thanksgiving they're gonna bring Christmas to shams so they're
gonna go to the hospital and take some pictures and everything
and Vita doesn't even understand why they're doing that
who's going to visit a patient that they took luck?
No, it's good, no.
I'm suffering.
Because Tommy's like, come on, Vita's supposed to be a good time.
I'm suffering.
Vita is just like pissed.
And the only thing that makes her un-pissed is that MJ starts to cry.
And then Vita starts to smile.
Like a big broad smile. She's like,
oh, what did you cry? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? She's like feeding off of her
daughter's misery. Also, can we mention that Meejay, Meejay, MJ called her mama fucking bitch on
national television. That's really nice of Jay. She's like, you're a fucking bitch. You have
invisited dad and over a month. Okay, how many times have you been there without cameras?
I really would like an answer to that if anybody knows.
And Venus like, oh, why should cry?
And then Tommy's like, both of you!
Shout out to Christmas, God damn it!
I think previously he's gonna be a good father
because who hasn't heard that in the station wagon
at least once around Christmas time?
I know.
Are we there yet?
And Vita.
Yeah, the Vita.
And Vita also really showed some love for Tommy,
which I think is cute, because she started laughing at Tommy
when he yelled and she's like, OK, why you yell?
OK, we'd be nice.
You stop yelling.
One, two, three.
Merry Christmas.
It's like Vita.
Oh, she's.
Vita finally found a car full of hate and she is so psyched to be alive,
suddenly.
She's only happy with someone else's miserable.
It was like an old boss of mine used to yell at me all the time, all the time, all the
time.
And then there was one time when there was like some disaster that I had to deal with.
And I had like a million different phone calls.
I was trying to balance and like it was Friday night
and things were closing and I was like stressed out
and things were about to get really, really fucked up.
And at one point my boss asked me to do something.
He was like, I was like, I just like,
I can't do it right now.
I can't and he was so happy.
He was like, then is miserable right now.
And he is like, he is like stressed out
and he just like sat there.
And it was like the quietest he'd ever been. He just sat there there and he smiled and watched he was almost like happy for me getting to go through the stressful experience
So there was some people who just love love watching people in misery like us do yeah, I guess like us
I was gonna say I guess I'd be a better example be us the ones who have a podcast about all this stuff
As a full-on adult internet sitster or a sit-samer, I guess I should say.
I'll just sit back and enjoy that one.
Why are you crying, Ben?
That's what I would have said if I was your boss.
Okay, three, two, one.
So they get lost at all.
Yeah, go ahead, Sam.
Over at the hospital, Shams is doing better than since we last saw him and now Vita's
mad again.
She's like, Mercedes, what you never tell me you talk so you can eat Mercedes. Mercedes.
Mercedes. You talk, you eat, you do the therapy, you come home looking forward to it. Memory works
good knock on wood. Yeah. Now this is just Vita loving misery again. She sees this guy in the bed like sick as hell and she's just smiling like
It's like Christmas night for Vita basically. Yeah, she got called a fucking bitch by her kid
Tommy tried to freeze her at most his temper now. She's in a hospital room. It's like it's like a
fantasy tour for Vita. Yeah, she's like James for Christmas. I got you ping pong pedal always for me because I'm the champion
I got you bronze medal
Even though you don't deserve
So MJ is like, you know my mom thinks I can't have love and romance because it didn't work out for her
So it can't work out for me like I get what she's trying to protect me
Okay, a that's kind of like
The person who's being abused like I know they're just trying to help me
But also second. I don't know that Venus trying to help you. I think she's trying to help humanity
I made this I think I made this terrible art Don't feel free to magnetize it to your fridge.
Yeah, I don't think there's any sort of pathology behind it. I think she just looks at MJ. I was like,
no, you're not gonna be fit to be a mother or have a long lasting relationship. I get it now.
Yeah. So now let's go see what Reza is doing theatrically, because I know everybody's been wondering.
Yeah, so Reza shows up.
Reza and his friend, Jefferson, they show up
at one of the little theaters on Santa Monica Boulevard
for his play, Ease Nontorite.
Now, what's interesting to me is that this is,
I would wager to say that this is sloppy storytelling
by the producers of Shaza Sunset. They introduced this arc last episode, like, sloppy storytelling by the producers of Shazza Sunset. They introduced
this arc last episode like oh by the way Resa is going to be doing it up doing a play
and now like the play is up. I was like wait we're having a two episode play arc.
We went through like seven episodes of Gigi and now all of a sudden it's like oh by
by the way I want to play too. Oh it's opening night I'm like what it's not even up it's just like a rehearsal basically for his
friends yeah his friends get to come watch and they don't even give him the marquee they just
put him in smaller letters under the other show that they're doing other two shows he's the
third marquee you know it though it's better than what I have so you know what though, it's better than what I have. So you know what God bless. So yeah his show is called
He's not right and
It resets are talking about like how his play has it's light and fun
But it's really about like a run and like and culture and stuff and like being gay like have you stuff and like
GG did a play too, but hers is about how to suck a dick. I'm like
That's true. Well hers is about something you dick, but like don't drag
Gigi's down to elevate yours because I guarantee that as bad as Gigi's was it still is probably better than yours
Yeah, and at least she wasn't paying for the hour to do it in some fucking black box on Santa Monica fucker
Yeah, exactly not that there's anything wrong with that
Right. Thank you. Thank you for
Corp. And someone who's paid plenty of black boxes to do his own personal one-man show about his own grandma disapproving of shit
I want a rate of one act to play. I've been wanting to for a long time
I just can never come up with a good story like a good idea
I said one man that shit's it was an hour and
45 minutes. No, I know. I know you said that. I was just willfully going. I was talking
about my ambitions at that point because you talked about yours. So I just sort of spiral
off. It'll be the sort of been and that time he worked really hard for his boss. Well,
that's like better, but not as deep as mine, Ben, okay?
Like my one-man show was heavy, and it had culture and history, and wait behind it.
Okay, thanks, friends.
I can't wait to see this play.
I have more or less one-man shows, I'm sorry to say, after my mom dragging me to some
show in New York City, one's called Under the L lintel and it was like some guy like an Eastern Europe
in a house and I was like, I can't.
Yes, I haven't done one in a very long time. I'm proud to say.
I would do what you have to say. It's not a one man show. If someone's in it with me,
that's the joke. I would do what you have to say. It's not a one-man show if someone's in it with me.
That's the joke.
We are a one-man show, basically.
Oh, Ventils.
So MJ arrives, and she has not learned any lines, you know.
And I can't believe Resid didn't get mad and yell at her,
but I guess she can only try and ruin
two lives of the time per season.
He's even he's got a limit.
Yeah. So I'm getting done with. I'm getting
awesome fired and I'm ruining servants life. So I guess we'll be friends even though you're not
taking my very heavy place seriously. Mercedes.
MJ to be fair, she did say that she took acting in high school and she took the class with
Monica Lewinsky and Eric Mennendes. So you see
in this weird way MJ has wound up on top. I love how she mentioned Eric Mnendes and then
just after she's like poor guy, poor parents. He was really good at tennis.
So important. Yeah. So let's see. Then there's a Medea commercial and the only reason I'm writing that down is
it this show makes Medea look like the next Merrill Street Oscar winning movie. Oh my god this looks
amazing. The production values and then there's a little thing that comes up, you know, where it's like don't mess with Matilla don't go out on Halloween
Don't negotiate with serial killers. Well, Gigi still gives a contract
So many commercials are perfect for this show. Yeah, like um, you know
Have to it works on two levels
Like hot or hot?
Why girls be like hot?
First and girls be like hot.
If you if you watch it late at night you see those commercials for those awnings that like are motorized that come out
That also seems to somehow be appropriate like big, rickety thing that cast shade.
Big, rickety thing that cast shade.
Now that's the name of a player
I wanna see in the black box.
It would take a little more of the signage,
but I would be down.
So Mike comes in and everyone starts coming in, you know.
Right, because now it's actually Showtime.
We've now gone through rehearsal, and now it's Showtime. That we're getting into with them. Yeah. So Resa, yeah, he's
putting on a hose and stuff. And it's, you know, it's hard to watch as it as it should be.
It's like watching a really sad episode of ice. He's putting on his like his drag, his woman
makeup. And I'm like, Oh my God, they're about to talk about the troubles.
They're having a tie.
I end with the boy girl trade or whatever.
But now it's just big Harry Raza.
He bases Rasa's Vita.
And and you know, he's already, he already
into space. Everyone shading him for having like 10 seats in the
theater. So it's like, this really isn't my opening night.
I just want to see how it goes because I'd like to take this show on the road.
Which road are you going? Which road are you going down? Wow.
Nice boulevard. Yeah.
The religious discussion with one big hairy guy dressed in terrible drag and then MJ dressed in a black sheet is a workout.
You're going to get stoned by all sides.
Like, just don't do it. Just stay home.
So he's like, also, he's still on bed rest.
Cut to Asa just lying in her bed reading her cell phone.
I actually feel like she made the right decision.
She did. She's the only one who's still gonna be able to smile tomorrow.
Everyone else is just like, even this cast
is just gonna give up.
Yeah, Asa is essentially getting the Lille G.
Treatment, which is, you know, we're sort of seeing,
I don't even know how she can come back.
She seems totally checked out and they're checked out
and the producer seems to just be checked out with her also.
And yet, this is the only show where when someone checks out,
you actually feel happy for them.
Like, you know what?
She's gonna have a better life now.
Totally.
Like other shows you're like,
oh, like at least try to participate with this one.
I'm like, no, this is for the best.
Yeah, awesome.
Yeah, Asa's got a caftain business.
Some diamond water they sell at Ross and a future baby.
Like, what the fuck does she care?
Also I think someone's already told her that Reza's gotten her fired.
She's like, why would I even get out of bed?
Like I'm not going to go sit through this shitty play if I don't even get to work next year,
okay, fuckers.
Yeah, I mean, to be fair, she's pregnant and she's in Venice.
Why would she ever come all the way to Hollywood to watch Reza's one act play that was written
on the back of a cocktail napkin and
Red off the back of a cocktail napkin by MJ
So he's freaking out first. I have to say my concern are like such chicks
They're like such stereo typical housewives when they see each other and they're like hi. How are you good?
How are you you look great? You look great except they do it the per person way He's like bro like your shirt bro like your hat
Very like Persian housewives bro. Does it look good? Hold on. Let me check my reflection your hair. Yeah, it looks good
So Rezos freaking out and he's like whenever I freak out. I think of disgusting things
It's like when I when I'm fucking and I don't want to shoot my wad
like disgusting things. It's like when I when I'm fucking and I don't want to shoot my wad like
Well now thank you for allowing all of us to never shoot our wads again. Yeah, I'm no kidding
Thank you. That's stopper on wads until further notice you asshole and I love how like his discuss something is like bankruptcy
bankruptcy
Super things instead of good things
Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup,
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and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
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As it was, it was really nice.
Not as much as it was with Bitspie like.
Not saying that white people don't know to do shit, but version people know everything.
But yeah, they were like dick dick bankruptcy smelly feet smelly pussy
Jesus miss me when my ear met Rob like it
so they both do audience inferences and then they get to their play which is
pretty much what you think it is it's a reza opening his legs with his
nets falling out so he gets a good laugh from Mike and Gigi. And Jefferson is the waiter and he's like, hello, welcome to the gay cafe.
I'm like, oh, a real no-coured this Reza is with his writing.
How dare you call me a coward? I put gay in cafe.
It's their Reza Chronicles. I hope that other people can learn that
cafes can also be gay.
I'm a ticket on the road.
Yeah, so basically it's one old, it's two old ladies.
One's calling one a dirty Jew and the other one's calling the other one a terrorist or whatever.
And then the waiter thinks that they're against the game
marriage.
So he's like, how dare you?
I am gay.
I will not serve you a latte, a latte.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
We are talking about religion.
We love gay people.
And then the music gets serious, Mike.
It's like, you know, in the Persian community,
there's like a lot of division between cultures and religion.
And like, we don't mix.
And you know, it's like, we have to mix.
Because if you don't mix, it's like a baby shoe
that gets put on like a deer instead of a baby.
And you're like, what's gonna happen to the baby shoe?
It's never going to survive.
Also women have to listen to men.
If you don't make your cool aid,
it's just a bunch of red dust under some water.
Also, have sex with men as many people as you want
and don't let anybody find out.
And if they do, it's that bitch's fault
and your mom will never email them back.
Ha-ha-ha.
So, everyone is like clapping.
It's, you know, everyone likes it.
More basically jumps to his feet.
He's such a kiss ass, Mike.
And I don't really blame him considering the last time the resident Mike him, he basically
ruined everything Mike had going on.
And he's married, even though Mike did that himself, you know, but the rest is trying to
basically critique proof this or critic
proof as they say this thing. Because even though it's shitty, he's now doing this thing
like, well, I hope that people learn something from it. I'm like, yeah, they are going to
learn something. They're going to learn that they can't just buy tickets to any old play
that they see. Just because it's on the market doesn't mean you should buy tickets for it.
I want to do something for other people in this situation.
Like the waiter so I have to deal with fucking people like you.
Like I get it. It's like a warning.
It sounds crazy, but I've been on a journey.
So Resan Adam, um, co-going nuts.
So yeah, oh cat going.
Cats.
So basically the scene opens with Miss Moo going absolutely nuts with her little toy,
which of course like cracked me up. And I'm like, Miss Moo won't settle down. What should I do?
I can like pick up Miss Moo and she starts squirming. And he's like, uh, she's sharp. I'm going to
have to tell people that GG scratched me instead of Miss Moo. I know. After we saw how the cat reacts to Adam,
I'm wondering how much Gigi really did do to him.
Because all we really saw was Gigi push him, right?
And then he showed it looked like he was wearing
the thorn of crowns as a necklace.
I'm like, wait a minute.
I don't remember seeing all that.
I think they would have showed it if Gigi had done all that.
It was probably Miss Moo.
He's very delicate.
He's very, very, it was Miss Moo.
It was 100% Miss Moo.
So he said Stan, he's like, well, the cat hates me. So that reminds me,
Brezza, are we putting a deposit down on the house? Are we ready to start a family?
Well, you're not going to want to foster a adopt. I can see how this is working. He'll only say
yes to surrogacy, but that costs coin, which
is basically the real reason he's just going to shove some sperm into a turkey based
or an up MJ. And we all know it's coming to because MJ's remodel in her house is even
in Sephiron patterns. Okay. Yeah. She's got her baby ready. She's got her living room ready
to push that resist baby. Yeah, exactly.
So essentially, Adam is not willing to adopt anything,
any like child or whatever until Resa,
until they've had like one of their own babies.
So, you know, Resa now, to do this,
Resa has to sell his vacation home and all this stuff.
And I actually feel like, I mean, that's like a big,
that's a big ass.
You're like, that the rest has to sell as house to do this.
And it's gonna cost up to $170,000.
And then Adam's like, I'm gonna put in $50,000,
which of course $50,000 is a lot of money.
But it's still like, I don't know, I feel like it's, I feel like it's
considering that Reza wants to adopt a child and Adam is really leading the surrogacy things,
the surrogacy thing to then like make Reza foot most of the bill, even though they're,
even though they're married and so it's not really that it's not, it's all their money,
but it really is Reza's money, I don't know, I think that's actually pretty selfish.
I think they're, they're both ridiculous. In this fight,
res is like, yeah, how much will you deposit? It's like 50. It's like, not so great.
And he goes, yeah, but I think that's enough like for a little chicken coop.
It's because chicken.
And that's like chickens don't quack. Yeah, they do, and they also do this.
Let me start like Nauti gets head,
which chickens do do.
Oh, this is this show, like getting into these fights.
Yeah.
And Adam's like,
chickens don't do that, and he's like,
honey, you say do, I'm married to a chicken.
So Adam's like, that's it, I don't have to listen to this.
I'm gonna pace around the refrigerator and possibly get out of it.
I am getting out of bottle of water.
Now I'm gonna pace back to you.
I don't have to take this, I'm like, you tell them, Adam.
Yeah, so now Adam's really mad at it
that Reza called him a chicken, which, you know,
well, it is actually kind of mean,
but, you know, to be fair, like my friend Julia,
she's Australian and well not even Julia. Hello.
Chicken.
And like you could say chicken in a nice way. It's like really sweet.
My friend Julia does it too and she's Australian just like Janet.
She goes like, oh, hi, chicken. Hi, chicken.
Yeah, and also a chicken hawk is like a gross reza who goes after like younger, you know, guys.
Also, um, also Adam, you did like spend a part of the early season, lamenting the fact that
GG scratched you. So yeah, you sort of are the chicken.
You are a chicken. Are you crying right now? You are. You're a chicken. You're a chicken.
You're a chicken. I can never ever feel sorry for Adam after he married Resa after what
president did to him. And then Adam keeps bringing it up like,
this makes me think of Thailand.
I'm like, and then you married him.
So you deserve whatever the fuck you get, okay?
I just feel like I was gonna have this yogurt
and then I decided not to.
And it makes me think like,
that 11th hour decision by Reza to not marry me.
It's like me with this yogurt right now.
And I don't know if I can go back to that dark place. And Reza of course is being Reza to not marry me. It's like me with this yogurt right now. And I don't know if I can go back to that dark place.
And Reza, of course, is being Reza.
And I just have to say all this
because it comes into play later.
He's like, don't be a biage.
You're being a biage, chicken.
You compared me to something stupid.
And then the cat starts crawling on the couch.
And he's like, honey, he's like, listen, Reza,
think of whom we have babies.
Okay, you can't just shut me down like this.
And he goes, well, I don't like people dismissing me,
especially when I am the only one to compromise on everything.
What is Adam compromise on?
Let's see, nothing.
Well, the funny thing is when he said,
I don't like anyone dismissing me,
that's right as Reza is telling Adam to be quiet.
He's going, he's telling everybody to be quiet.
He's snapping his fingers, waving them around, calling him chicken and a biot.
And then saying he doesn't like dismissive people.
The reason why Resa was starting to get angry is because Miss Moose started climbing up
on the airmeas through a blanket.
And when he was like, he's like,
honey, and then Adam's like, what? You know, like, it's not a life-hired death, like, get over
it. And, you know, Reza's in his mind being like, that's my airmeas throw blanket. But to
be fair, I, of course, then looked up that airmeas throw blanket. It retails for about $1,500.
So, first of all, you're an idiot for buying a $1,500 throw blanket. That's stupid. It retails for about $1,500. So first of all, you're an idiot for buying
a $1,500 throw blanket. That's stupid. It's unnecessary. Go to Target. Get one for $2.00.
It works just as well. And honestly, an orange blanket that has an H on it. It's not like
the most amazing visual pattern of all time. I'm sure it's like very soft and lovely. But
$1,500 is a lot, especially when you have two cats.
So honestly, you're not prepared, okay?
You're just basically not prepared in general.
Also, it looks like a long horn splanket.
It's like burnt orange.
It does, like just get one.
Get one for $50 and like go on to Etsy.
You know what, I also look in my searches.
There are like knockoff ones that are like $50. But I just don't think you should ever spend $1500 on a throwblanket. I'm sorry.
A few cats, especially if you have cats.
That's their judge.
It's always easy for me to be on Adam's side because as much of a pussy and an idiot, Adam is for marrying Resa. Resa's mean, okay? He's a jerk. We all know it.
So it's easy to be on Resa's side, but then Adam goes,
well, if we have kids and your kid is like this to my kid,
which Adam really, who says that?
So then of course, I'm on Resa's side.
He's like,
our kid, your kid's screech,
you better check yourself,
or no one is gonna have kids with you, wreck yourself.
You need to go read the Torah right now.
Yeah, which is-
I choose you out here.
Oh, you're on what sign?
I was on Resaside, this whole argument, in fact.
Even despite the Hermes blanket situation.
They're both gross.
So, I'm awesome, it's in bed.
I'm fine. Soccer. Babe, I'm pregnant. Babe, this comforter? It's like knocking me comfort because I'm
not getting any love for my friends, babe. How about Comforossa? Is there a link called
Comforossa? So, ossa is in bed reading a book about, guess what, pregnancy and Adam and
Ressa come over. And that entire house is full of baby.
It's like boxes of brand new expensive baby shit.
You go girl.
Yeah, she's just lying there.
And so I'm also saying, you know, babe,
it's like hard because like I have like a business,
I'm having a baby, but I also have a business
and my business like my baby also.
And like I'm trying to arrange a baby play date
with my business and my baby baby, but my baby business is like also and like I'm trying to arrange a baby play day with my business and my baby baby but my baby business is like no I'm not ready yet because you're not
paying attention to me and my baby is like no I'm not out of your room yet so I can't have
a play day and like babe let's just like lie down on the bed altogether. No would you adopt a
calf tan or would you try and push out your own calf tan?
Babe, I would use a calf tan, but then tell everyone I would have my own calf tan.
He's like, are you hungry now that you are pregnant?
I am.
And I don't even live here.
She's like, look, I have a lot of feelings, okay?
Like, I feel guilty because, like, my friends are babies,
and I'm not there for them.
But I have a priority baby, and he's like one day delivered in my womb
Like he's like a flat rate box, okay
Like doesn't even matter how heavy is he is he is he's the same price and that price is love, okay, babe
I'm like yeah, but the ball is coming up. Don't you think she's had enough to deal with without thinking more about balls?
Yeah, okay. That's what got her into this mess, Resa. And she's and and he's like,
do you feel disconnected from everyone? And she's like, well, you know, the more
babe that I feel disconnected, it's more than not so much that I feel disconnected.
It's more like I feel connected to myself. Like, oh, I have to point out that the entire
internet was like, where's her headboard?
I don't have a headboard. I know, but it's awesome. She's like with a Jackson. She needs like a headboard or like a you know One of those tent beds or something
I just wrote that down because I was reading it all over the internet. I didn't mean to slam your headboard
It miss. No, you didn't. I muted it. So people wouldn't hear me chewing on my Starbucks reward and screaming
No, I've been muting on and off so you wouldn't hear me chewing on my Starbucks reward. I'm screaming fuck you
No, I've been muting on and off so you don't hear me going
I'd be respectful to the people. I've never been to paradise because paradise is inside of me right now And I've been to me like okay
So also explains pretty well
She's like you know six years ago babe babes when we like first babe met
It was all about
Babe partying and then like they've all been in the same gear for like six years and I'm over it
I'm like sick of the bullshit. You know, I don't want bad vibes, but I'm not gonna call Michael MJ. I need to do me
So resa's like, you know she might as well have just said I have everything I want now
I have a business and a baby dooses. I'm out. Yeah, you know, she might as well have just said, I have everything I want now, I have a business
and a baby, deuces I'm out.
Yeah, that is what she said.
Yeah, that is exactly, that is exactly.
Maybe if you were better friends to her,
she wouldn't say deuces.
She's like, oh, wait a second.
I have my family, I have a nice house.
I am with a Jackson.
My company's actually doing nicely.
I have a baby on the way.
I'm relatively happy in life.
Maybe I don't need to be with some toxic assholes.
Yeah, maybe I don't need to hang out in some low-rant bar on Hollywood Boulevard,
watching everybody try and catch serving in something, Turun.
Yes.
And you make a good point because I was going to mention this later,
but we can mention it right now.
This winter ball, this black tie ball was basically across the street from Atami's Burgers and around the corner from the Museum of Death here in Hollywood.
Okay. Classic Shah's party.
So next up, MJ, poor MJ, you know, MJ does this whole remodel. Well,, I mean she hired her friend, but still she pays for this whole remodel
And this is the part of the property brothers where it's like whoa look. It's just like our 3d rendering
You know, it's like a cheap version of something expensive
You win and then MJ is supposed to jump up and down and cry and then Tommy skin a holder
And they're gonna promise each other to spend so much quality time in their new living room
But Adam and Brezza come first and make the whole thing about their stupid fucking fight
Stupid stupid stupid. So yeah, they're in the apartment. We hear a recipe like Mercedes. I'm here for the pre-party
There you go. So
We see her new decor, which I guess is an improvement over the lack of daycore,
but I personally found it to be very cluttered.
There were like, as you mentioned before, it was definitely Reza's imprint.
Reza's imprint was there.
There were chevrons everywhere, patterns on the card with Shag, like overflowing on every
pillow.
Lots of textures.
Very busy.
There was a whole wall of what looked like,
oh my god, this, okay, I'm highlighting my ignorance again.
Is it Yiddish writing?
What did they call that writing?
That was Arabic writing.
Oh, it was Arabic.
It looked like a pie sign with like two dots above it.
And I was like, what is that?
Is that like a other grand mother?
Well, that'd be great.
So, yeah, I'm like, this Chevron would wall, I thought that was really cool. I like that. I actually like the Chev That would be grand mother. So, yeah, I like the chevron wood wall.
I thought that was really cool.
I like that.
I actually like the chevron wood wall.
I just found that everything else in the apartment was very busy.
Well, it was very property brothers in that one room was done.
They're like, we did your whole house and you see the one room, but they never go upstairs.
They show the other parts and then they show MJ go to the bathroom and it's still just
like MJ nightmare. They're just everywhere. Curly gyrne spilling out at drawers.
Why are the property brothers considered attractive by the way that for another episode?
I don't know. I think because they're twins. I think it's like that twin hotness thing where
people are like oh my god they're twins. They must be hot. Yeah. I'm not so.
I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm not so. I'm, they must be hot. Yeah, I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so, I'm not so,
I'm not so,
I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, I'm not so, like an elastic band and pleading, you know, and be like, like hanging in the store.
That's what they should be.
Not doing houses.
Um, well, they did.
So MJ, MJ is like, yeah, my big reveal and Adam's on the couch crying.
And we're just like, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Yes, no, there's not nothing.
We had an argument.
And you know, when something says something got ruined
like my blanket, and you say it's not life or death,
that is dismissive.
And I don't want to be in a relationship
with someone who says dismissive.
Oh, yeah.
Good.
So Adam starts to, well, first of all, Adam,
Adam's already starting, is already emotional.
And when Resa is saying this, he's like, I don't want to be a relationship where someone says it's not a matter of life with death.
It is, it's air and death. That even Oprah was allowed into the...
I restore it. And I got a blanket and you are saying it's not a matter of life and death is mis-mute.
I do know that I want to be with someone.
That's always what he says in the fight.
And Adam was right about that.
Yeah, Adam is always a right.
You always pull out the divorce card.
Even if I'm thinking of leaving your ass,
at least I'm not saying in the middle of fight,
we're supposed to be enjoying this cheese tray.
And he's like, Adam's tears behind his hands.
Thanks Adam, yeah, that really helped the party. Okay, you can still hear him like
It's bad enough that Miss Moose scratched my tricep earlier today now I have to hear this
No, yeah, it's it that's a really dick move ofelle. Like you can't say shit like that because you're almost like
blackmailing Adam or you know threatening Adam and that's not the way relationships should be. Yeah, so Adam's now crying. I'm just just trying to have her moment because she's like, look, I
now crying. I'm just just trying to have her moment because she's like, look, I like, I finished my apartment and that means therefore I'm happy and able to have a baby. I'm like,
maybe not, but like, she's getting overshadowed as you mentioned by this. And then Mike shows
up and he's like, whoa, boys, what's going on? You know in different cultures, you have
to cry because your mother is so great. Is that what you're crying about? I don't know it's stupid. Let's just move on
Shut up Adam. Okay, so the commercial comes and this lady's like listen Mr. Odeus to her dog
And then it ends by her going the things you love can stink
Now the only reason I'm writing down these commercials is because they all seem to fit this episode
Well, I thought that was the funniest cut. It's like MJ's apartment and Reza being an
asshole cut to things you can love can stink. Okay, back to size. Yeah. So they show up at this
party and that this like there's an SUV and Reza gets out of the SUV and then Vita gets out and
then Vita just like closes the door behind her and you
Like Adam comes out. He's like oh
I just got hit by a door
He doesn't even say that he goes I almost got hit by a door. So you almost got hit by a door
Which means you didn't get hit by a door
That car threatened to leave me if I didn't get hit by a door. That car threatened to leave me if I didn't get hit by a door.
It always reminds me of the seminal film from the 80s.
Hello again, where I think it was like a scene with seal award
and Shelley Long or who knows what,
but so much shows up because, oh my god,
I was almost late and Shelley Long is like,
that's called being on time.
I was like, ooh, burn. I'll always remember that.
Oh, hello again.
Also known as Shelley Long Second Chance.
Didn't work out.
So then Tommy shows up with MJ at this party.
He's like, whoa, talk about classy.
Is that white glitter?
Is that white glitter?
Is that white glitter?
Look, yes, Tommy. Calm down over there. That hold on. I'm just going to go with it. Tommy's burgers. white glitter is that white glitter is that white glitter yes Tommy come
down over there hold on I'm just gonna go with the Tommy's burgers gets
in chili fries and bring it over here okay and then fucking Mike he's like you
know this isn't just a ball this is a Persian ball it's like
tuxedos first and most of it's fake.
And then this beautiful buffet, like most white people would be like buffets.
Hello.
Have you heard of the golden coralser?
Have you heard of any event ever?
He's like, he's like, you have most white people be like, what a buffet.
But like, Persons, we got chicken, we got fish,
we have raisins, digging.
There's enough for everyone.
Like, okay, all right.
Listen, Mr. Avelby is when you're here, your family.
We've been around the phase.
Many people have been to black and white affairs.
I think the issue is not so much, oh my God,
I can't believe there's a buffet at a black tie event. I think the issue is not so much, oh my God, I can't believe there's a buffet at a black tie event.
I think the issue is more like,
I can't believe they're doing a black tie event
at the place that's next to shaky speed so.
Like what sort of, like, to me, it's a little strange,
were there like any tables, was there any,
like it just seemed like there was
like a black cocktail party where nobody's doing anything they're just all wearing seats because it's
like a thrown together last minute piece of shit there's nobody there. Shervin's brother comes with
his fiancee and he's he's like yeah I'm on TV but also mortified to be part of these people
he goes up to Gigi and he's like, hey Gigi, congratulations.
Here's a gift. And she's like, is it a vibrator? And he's like, yeah, wow, that rings great.
Gigi, she's like, isn't it nice? Like flashing the ring in his face. And his fiance is like, God, can we just get a shaky? Shaky's would feel like the four seasons after five minutes of this fucking party.
I know.
I felt bad for Shervin's brother because he was like the Danny to be Danny to be
doe to Shervin's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I was like, oh, Shervin got all the looks.
Yeah, but the brother got all the class.
The brothers like, here's a gift.
Who else?
Who else?
The brother got all the class the brothers like here's a gift. Who else? Who else? The brother got career longevity. So Ressa's, Ressa sees her showing
government her ring and he's like, bitch, don't run around the party stabbing
people in the eye with your ring. We're person people will flock to the fake
diamond, okay? Yeah, I don't know. I know I feel like Resa if he had a giant ring
like that he'd be happy to show everyone to anyway that crying scene flashing
his golden diamond ring at the camera he's like it's like here's why I put up
with Resa so then all this fake snow starts to come down immediately everyone's
choking on it including MJ we saw a doctor. Tabsa Mer, who she came to our 300th episode party that we
had like a year or two ago. She's from the singles project, right? Wasn't that her show? Yes. So that's
our second crossover of the episode. Yes, and then later we saw Ms. Gretchen Rossi. Yes, which is completes the trifecta of luminaries
from other Bravo shows.
Like, well, this is a Persian buffet.
However.
No, she brought that.
That is a duck, Adam.
That is how a duck sounds.
She brings her diva, Mara Rita glass from from Ross. I brought someone a ceramic
chef. I bought you a painting. It says Paris in five different languages. Paris, Paris,
Paris, Paris again.
So Su, Mike's mom Su shows up and he greets her at the car and he gives her a corset which that's a little bit.
Of course I'm sorry.
I mean it's so someone giving their brother a corset actually kind of makes sense.
That'll be very, very, very, very, very. She gave her a corset and it was weird.
It's like, hello, date.
You're the best mother ever.
It's so good to have you here.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So Reza is like, GG.
I see that somebody's mother is here.
I think it is your turn
And she's like no no no he's like, but you're coming from such a good
Pure place and everyone can see that because you're an angel now good place Gigi
You are coming from a good place. I don't need you can do it. This is your destiny, Neo.
The fake drinks. I'm trying to think what I was going to say. Oh, I'm glad that Gigi is at least finally realizing that Reds is just making her do his dirty work because he's done that to her for
years. Well, he's done it to everybody for years. Yeah. But at least this time she makes him like
follow through on it, which was pretty good.
So he's like, go talk to her.
So she goes up to the mom and she's like,
hello Mrs. Shewad.
Did you look at my ring?
She's like, very good dear.
Very good.
So then she starts going in about Jessica.
And she's like, look, for five months,
we've seen Mike like sad.
And in New York, he's still, he said,
I still love Jessica. And the mom is like, okay. Yeah.
You haven't heard this, you know, and you can see her. And then it shows Mike saying,
nothing like they're making us sound like he said, like you point out nothing.
Yeah, nothing. Yeah. And so then, so Sue is basically, she's tolerating GG very well and she's saying oh, you know
He's hurt. He's very much very very much hurt. He's very much hurt. I'm like he cheated on Jessica
Okay, it breaks my heart that he is so hurt by that awful woman and she's like well
I heard that she sent you an email. She was what about email
What you want what you want? No, what know what you know, huh? What you want
So Mike tries to interrupt in gg way some away and
She's like well just Jessica was apologizing and I thought I was really sweet like maybe you can give her another chance because people make mistakes like
Personally, I've made mistakes
Almost fucking Mike was one of them. Did I mention that to you by
have you heard about that? So Sue is like she's like I was like mother to her you know I took her to
doctor I make her soup I put my own special poison in her soup. I was like mother.
I put my own special poison in her suit.
I was like mother.
And as things happen up and down.
And when something happens down and you pack and leave, nothing can be fixed.
Which is true.
But I mean, basically the mom's like, okay, so when my son goes down on Randos,
other Randos, and then you just leave.
How are we supposed to fix that?
How about having that be kind of aligned in the sand that your son stops fucking up other women?
Like I'm, I'm kind of sick of this whole micro-specs his mother so much,
but he treats other women like total dog shit.
Yeah.
And it's, well, that's kind of like a standard thing that happens with guys.
They almost feel like because they treat their moms so well
that they, therefore, love women.
I mean, all one has to do is look on Facebook
and look at like every single woman saying,
hashtag me too.
And you realize that guys are pretty much sacks of shit.
And they can hide behind that, but I love my mother.
And yet, like, look at two episodes ago in New York City,
the way you were so condescending to GG by talking about Shalom and and like, you want enough, but that's what you get, you know? Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's the man. He needs to be the man. Yeah, highlight of the episode. We then cut to Vita sitting at a table eating alone.
alone. The best. And people are saying like, is that karma that she stuck alone? I mean, if that's karma, that's good karma. Like, look at all the shit she's being left out
of in this case. She's never been happier, I think. Yeah. She's like, quiet with a buffet.
And you know, I get it. When I'm in buffet mode, I don't care who's around me. I'm like,
I'm building my plate and I'm plopping it down and I'm making an attack on that plate. You know, like, if people are sitting with me, I don't, in
fact, I don't like it when people are sitting with me because I want to talk. I want to
eat.
Yeah. You do. Like, when you're, when dinner comes you eat, you're not like a, a
bider and then a talker and then like, take a bite and then talk, which I like, because
I'm like that to you. Like, we can talk during drinks. Okay. Yeah. I'm like that too like we can talk during drinks. Yeah, I'm sure that shit in shovel
Um, and Mike is let's say so Mike is getting pissed because he sees Reza at work here basically
So he takes her over to the side. He's like GG
What did you talk to my mom about and he's doing is like I'm in the sopranos
He's trying to act all tough for his faces like twitching, but he can't look anybody
in the eye. That's my favorite. When Mike tries to act tough,
and he's like looking at the tree behind her. Yeah. And she's
like, well, you know, we know families, like we know each
other's families and like, look at you, like right now, you're
being like, eh, what is that? Like the, eh, is there something
behind me? And he's like, I don't get involved in your
business. And you, you are always in mind. And she's like, I don't get involved in your business and you are always in mind.
And she's like, when do I ever cause problems?
For, well, first of all, like I said,
it was two episodes ago, Mike,
that you were like telling,
you were like trying to be a counselor between Gigi
and Shalom and you were telling Gigi
how she should act around someone like Shalom
and you were saying to Shalom things like
Homie like we're like the same homie homie like you know my amigo is like my ego my ego is like my amigo
I don't know one of them's a car one of them's just me. I don't know
It's like listen you get involved in everything Mike. You are always there to offer unsolicited advice. Okay, so just
Like be cool. don't be uncool.
Don't be all uncool.
And of course he brings up Shervin's party
and we cut to Gigi like,
Yeah, how about you trying to fuck me?
Or whatever that whole thing is.
That one time, yeah.
Yes, he'll never let go as much as he pretends.
And I wouldn't either, by the way.
No, but that was that was
Pretty intense situation. So this is where Gigi makes a good move finally. She's like, you know what?
Instead of you going at me like I'm so surprised she didn't flip over like a white litter table
But she's like, you instead of you coming at me. Why don't you go and read that because he made me or you too scared
You too scared to talk to Resa reservoir. I go go on go confront him
Let's go. Let's go and he is scared because they want to rest and he looks terrified to have to be confronting
Resa mm-hmm and he scolds both of them and it's pretty much like
Ever just out of my business like whatever this is my I'm a man
And I can handle my own shit and like let me do it on my own terms blah blah blah blah blah and
Resin knows how he handles like you're right. Okay. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're a very sorry that Adam just missed you
Mike like storms off. He's all pissed and Adam's like Mike. Let's get a pick my love and he goes shut up Adam
So good for For Adam. So Resa to Mike.
Resa goes over to Mike. Yeah, Resa goes over to Mike because he's still not
finished with seal. Okay. He's he's actually gotten somebody to go after a mom
for him, which is love. Resa hate him. That's pretty impressive, even for
Resa, getting a girl to go after someone's mom
So it didn't work, but he's not gonna give up because he's Reza and he threw those balls
Just out the season finale. He's gonna make it work
So he goes up to Mike again, and he's like look I get it
But I want to tell you something
Jessica sent your mom an email and it was super apologetic and it was super loving and she wants to get
back together with you and I wish you would share with your mother that you have
feelings for Jess because in 30 years you'll wonder what if I try doing what
Resa said just once I like that they spend a lot of time on this show pondering
what they're gonna be thinking in 30 years. 30 years, it'd be too late. So Mike, he goes over to sue. And he
basically, I don't remember what he says, but he's based like, I
heard there was an email.
No, he does like marching up to her because now, res is like,
listen, you better stand up for yourself to your mother, which none
of us even know that that's what's going on. Okay, Mike fucked up. They got a divorce. Now they're making it sound like the mom is the one
that's at fault. The mom is not the one at fault. Leave her alone. So, Resa gets him all worked up.
He marches up to his mom and he's like, mom, I love you, but I'm telling you right now,
who I choose to be with is my business. And I would hope that you have respect for them.
And blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah and she's like um
Okay, I support whoever you love because I love you. It's like you're a good mom. You're a good mom
Whereas I got someone to go tell off his own mom at a party for now I mean that is I I give it to him
Yeah, and she and she base is like no, I love you no matter what and I will support you and any decision you make especially if you make that I decision and never talk to that whole again.
Pretty much.
So MJ and Adam, uh, MJ is like, don't you want to fight with Reza? It's the finale because you guys remember when you were crying on my new couch member and he's like, I feel tears coming on again, okay? Like, here's the thing, we got an argument.
Which, of course, had nothing to do with him
or anything that he said, which is such a couple complaint.
But he's like, we got an argument
and his initial reaction is divorce.
It's just like in Thailand.
Like, it makes me feel less than.
It makes me want to reevaluate being married.
Um, hello.
It's the same thing you're complaining about.
Yeah, yeah, although I think though that he's not saying it as a threat.
He's saying, you know, maybe I shouldn't be married to this guy.
He's going to constantly be threatening me to like, like, that he chose the wrong person.
Well, then maybe I shouldn't be with him after all.
Yeah, well, so now he gets, so now Adam gets all choked up.
And so MJ calls Resa over to clear the air.
And I'm like, it just took me back to the 11th hour
of like we're not getting married.
And I was, in charge of my company myself.
So you were really upset about that.
I thought that was just like a scripted plot thing
for the show.
You really, that was a, that was real?
That was a real wedding that he,
that was backed out of.
I thought for sure that was a fake wedding all the time.
Well, it always goes back to that first big stupid fight.
He's like, when you say, maybe I'm a wrong person,
like it took me back to Thailand.
I'm like, oh my God, you've been back to Thailand
so many times in your own head,
and you've never even been taken there one time
in real life.
Yeah, to be fair, he was about two blocks away
from Ty Town, so, you know.
He's like, I can walk right out of here and get some chicken pad tied.
Do not make me do it right now.
They were literally, I mean, I'm not joking.
They were across street from Palm's tie where there's an Elvis impersonator.
Raza, it's time for you to make good.
Take me to Ty Restaurant right now.
Well, I can't.
I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that right now.
It's like your love at that. We're all over again!
Yes, it is the 11th hour, and that place is closed.
Shaky!
I have...
I have never identified with a dish as much as Patsy Il, Raza.
Patsy Grouse! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe and
so uh...
so
rest is like i am sorry
uh... basically i think the only one who really learned something this is in
his mj because her apartment is somewhat clean for once and they even showed her
putting on first uh on first flip flops
so she wouldn't get his black feet.
Well, yeah, that's true.
Like the most black we've seen.
So as the show and the season comes into the finish line,
Resa, of course, takes the chance to compliment himself
and talk about six years ago.
I was like, this, but not like this, and I've grown up a lot.
And we've all grown up a lot,
but we're still the same people,
but we've grown up a lot.
And it's just like sad that Asa feels like
she had to separate herself from us
in order to feel that way.
I'm like, well, no, she, you guys haven't grown up at all.
You just are talking about more grown up things,
but you're still immature and she realizes,
if I'm gonna be a parent, I can't be with you fools.
Yeah, and especially pregnant.
I mean, my God.
And he's like, you know, that's Asa.
But for the rest of us,
we are going to keep growing, loving and laughing.
It's like, you will keep growing.
And that's all I can say for anybody in this cast, okay?
And also, Gigi has to make a speech that's all about her like this is not your engagement party bitch. This is like a random
White party, okay, so yeah, I would like to make a speech. I'm married
It was a revolutionary year in Israel
She's like I went to Israel. I had amazing year. I went to Israel. I got mad at a wall.
And I realized the only wall I want separating me and my life is a wall that says,
congratulations. You're a gauge. You've got to ring on it. The only wall we are ever going to
have in our house is one that Shalom can break through like the Kool-Aid man when he gets mad.
So they're like one month later. Ding ding ding ding. We're back in the white catering room
with CCCC Sasha. They're actually across the street at Tommy's now. That's in Tommy's burger. It's not
Tommy at MJ's. And she's like, oh my god. as I get married and then it goes two months later
shocking divorce in the Shahza sub-sac
and music's like boom boom boom boom it's not even wall-wall-wall it's like the music like the
the record just slows to stop it
well who saw that in a moment coming raise Raise his hand. Sorry, I did.
The end.
Now, you know that the producers hated Asa this year.
You know, because they didn't even put the baby
in the epilogue.
I mean, that was a baby.
That was her whole story.
They didn't even bother showing a picture,
or an announcement, or anything like that.
Like, oh, by the way, Asa had a baby.
They didn't even bother.
Which, just to me me shows she truly got
the Lily Goldie G treatment.
She, I would be shocked if she's coming back next year.
No, I don't think she'll be coming back because
Reza was basically like, well, us is gone now.
So too bad that I said, I'm sick Jesus.
And then when he said, I'm not the same as six years ago,
and they show him licking an armpit.
That was like two years ago. Can we stop not the same as six years ago, and they show him licking an armpit. That was like two years ago.
Can we stop pretending that that was six years ago?
And is that like the bar for growth that you're not no longer licking people's armpits at MJ's and stuff?
Like, like the only reason why you grew is because MJ is closed.
Oh, this show.
Well, next week, we will be back with the reunion for this show, which I'm sure is going to be pure class
Because if they're already shading them each other like this on watch what happens that reunion must just be a train wreck
It will be and the and the trailer for that reunion it climaxes with GG turning to awesome and saying I just have a quote on that question
Do you want to be on this show and it's like boom so
Clearly that's what we're leading up to. Austin's good saying goodbye.
Uh.
Merring us say goodbye. No, no, no, no.
That's so pushing. So thanks everyone. Uh, go buy those last few tickets for San Francisco.
I mean, who knows. Maybe they're sold out by now. That'd be crazy
And stay tuned for more announcements. We'll have them as soon as possible. We'll be back tomorrow to discuss real house
Size of Orange County and of course you can just follow all the exciting stuff. I want you crap from dot com
So uh bye everyone.
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