Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: In Vitro Hurt-ilization
Episode Date: September 11, 2017This week, MJ declares war over in vitro eggs, which she still knows nothing about. Thankfully, Asa’s baby can support her. You know she’s pregnant, right? **This week’s premium bonus i...s a recap of LuAnn’s one on one with Andy. For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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We'll see you there I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Kelly Grant Cindy Burgess Gerson
Just saying Kelly Barlow and Christy Dowerty. We love you girls
Hello, and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap
We love to talk about on you old braves. I'mon from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor
and Paradise podcast, which is sprinting towards the end of a season. Thank
Jesus. And here I am with my gorgeous talented musically gifted friend Ben
Melimer of the B side blog and the Banta Blender. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. That
was so kind of you to say that I'm musically gifted. That was just lovely. You are
I wanted I want to say like musically resume. I didn't know all that musical stuff about you. Yeah, I
Disgust to the bony episode. Sorry, no one knows what we're talking about. Yeah, no one knows what we're talking about
But that's okay. You'll know soon enough, but yeah, Ronnie and I recorded a bonus episode and we talked about
Among many other things the childhood trauma of my
musical resume and how I never quite became the star I always thought I would be and that's a theme
that lives on to this day. As we sit here podcasting and I watch my friends writing on TV shows and
watch my friends writing on TV shows and whatever buying houses and
being super famous and
having their own TV shows on Hulu, you know, once you lived here long enough We all know famous people doing more than this, but let me say I'm in my underwear right now
And they got up at fucking five in the morning. That's right to go down and sit in a room with a bunch of stinky
buttes. That's right. You know, writing something that's not
theirs. I win. Yes. Yes. You know, Mindy, you may be super
successful, super talented and have written a few books and have
your own TV show. I get that. But right now, you probably are thinking about some decisions you have to make,
and I don't have to think about those decisions. I'm at home podcasting. So who won really,
Mindy? Who won? Yeah, who won, Mindy? We were classmates, Fred and I was wondering where
that came from. But I'm no resentment. Oh, last year. I really don't have resentment.
I just think it's funny because I'm like, it's funny how two people can go on two different paths like that
So
Oh laughter through tears
I know it's more about me. It's more about me
I'm
Does Midi get to sit here and talk about Raza?
I can't believe
Asa is so selfish with her feelings about in vitro infertile decision like oh my
You want to talk about her a bunch of resentful cut fitness is
I am sure Mindy is just Royal English L.A.C. that she can't she can't be here to talk about
Sunset so I feel like in the end
Maybe I did win maybe I do yeah She's like, that was my real dream.
She's listening to this right now on her way from studio to studio.
She's worth me her tears of $100 bills.
Look, you could have $20. You can have a million dollars. Domino's is still two for $5.99.
I do wonder. I wonder if Mindy actually watches any bra Bravo. Because if she does, maybe I would try to,
like, could you imagine if that would actually be really fun
if she came on this podcast.
But I don't know if she watches Bravo or not.
I mean, I haven't talked to her in a few years.
I'm sure it would be really fun for her.
It would be like, our first question,
what is your agent's name?
Our second question is, what is your agent's number?
Our third question is, will you do everything for us so we don't actually have to sell? Just sell something called
Ben. Could you do that, Mindy? I'll just be I'll just be
Kramer on whatever I say. I'll just be Newman on whatever I say. Oh goodness.
Anyway, so enough about Mindy, enough that Mindy. Enough of that Mindy.
Enough about losing. Enough about people who never got anywhere in life.
Well, if this is going nowhere, I'm having the best time at it. I'll tell you that much.
Yes, we actually though, we are doing great things to be to be honest and we got a
Chicago show coming up and I'm still honestly still in the joy hangover from last week's live show.
I was like, I can't believe we had that show. That was absolutely amazing. So I'm
thinking. Thank you. I've been doing this like avoidance of Snapchat thing because
my niece and I are trying to make streaks, which is where you snapchat back and forth for like eight
days in a row or something and then you went
I don't know what you went. Oh no 30 days in a row
Um, I can't do it because that's what a terrible uncle. I am. I can't make it the longest we've made it is eight days
Okay, this is since Christmas. This is pathetic of me and I know it's pathetic
But the days all blended to one when you're just watching TV and then talking about TV and then watching TV and then taking that you know how I work
But I just can't keep it together and so I've been avoiding snapchat because I'm like I'm a terrible uncle
This is why everything sucks. I can't even be nice to a child. What is wrong with me?
I'll tell you and I bet I know someone who who who has done the 30-day streak.
Heyo.
Mindy.
She does everything.
She does everything.
She's probably laughing in her car right now like you you are terrible.
Get it together.
First thing you do, 30-day streak.
Second thing you do, own Hollywood.
It's like that's the key to the door that
I can't get open. But I finally went on to Snapchat today and I got, I had so many
Snapchat's from the night of the live show. People in that party bus that they rented.
Okay, all those girls, I love you so much for sending me all those snaps. It's all these
girls at, at pump first, having a a lovely dinner just like having girl power night
Then they rented a party bus to come to the live show and it is full on Shaw's party bus
It's like live inside like a party all these different colors and everyone's parting and blasting music and drinking champagne
Fucking love that. I'm never gonna go more than a day without opening snapchat again
loved it love yeah yeah same and same goes for our Instagram messages you know
they're like a lot of messages don't come directly to our inbox and so
sometimes we forget to check them and I was looking last time I was like holy shit
there were a lot of people who like mentioned us in their stories and the stories of
it expires we missed it and so really I'm sorry everyone that we we
We ignored by accident listen. What can we say we're motherfuckers?
Bada pa ca
Okay, speaking of motherfuckers. Let's get on with shots of sunset
Yes
So after a one week hiatus the show is back and it opens up with shervin
Wandering over to a cigar shop and somewhere in Hollywood.
My concern in pretending they're not on the DL, like waiting for bloat jobs from Rando's
while they're drunk. Like guys who try and act this manly, look, I don't even care who's gay,
I can't even tell who's gay anymore. I would assume that someone who wears that much eyebrow
makeup as gay, but what do I know? But then they're like, let's go to a cigar place,
you know, and we'll have some scotchets of cars and talk like men. I'm like, what, you two are
ridiculous. And especially Mike, he's like leaning back like, yeah, he's doing that Godfather pose
that he's a bit- Yes. He's fooling. He's dressed like a burglar. I mean, listen, I don't think that
they are a DL, but the fact that they chose to hang out in a place filled
with phallax symbols doesn't help the cause either.
Yeah, they're like, let's go suck on a big, you know, cardboard dick while we talk about
Manly thinks.
It's not even the gayness.
It's the over the attempt to overcome.
Overcomment, yeah.
Yeah.
When you're both ridiculous apes.
Let's face it.
Yeah. Okay. So the guy the guys like what kind of cigar
Do like what is your breakfast? He's like Cubans like of course it is. That's all you know how to say you know your cigars
At least get a taeamo so
Sherman is like so they're sitting down and Sherman is still on his like
Damage control tour and the wake of Terragate 2017.
And he's like, yeah, he's like, you know, like Tara,
she, that girl's like 51, 50.
Like, you know, all that happened was I picked up Tara,
we went to dinner, we had some apps, we had some sex,
I dropped her off and that was it.
Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?
We, you said you had sex? No, no, what I'm saying is and that was it. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? Wait, you said you had sex?
No, no, what I'm saying is, like, she was upset.
I went to pick her up.
She got in my car.
She blew me on the way to the restaurant.
We got drinks.
We got apps.
Then I had some anal.
Then I took her home.
Wait, wait, wait, what?
Here's what happened.
Okay, I picked her up from the library.
Then we went to Best Buy.
We made a phone call from the phone booth.
And went to this like park across town.
Sure, Ville.
Sure, Ville. Did you or did you not have sex with Tara?
He's such an ass. and he went to his,
he went back to his asshole excuse or a reasoning of why he didn't do it.
He's like, come on.
She's not my type.
We're like in a mecca of beauty, okay?
In a town of Bentley's, why not got a Honda Civic?
Come on.
What are you a housewife?
That is such a housewife line.
In a town of Bentley's, why not got a hard to civic
Post post post hard post hard post
Mike was already very uncomfortable by him saying it was the mecca of something
like little man
Well, I don't want to say it was like the Jerusalem because that makes me uncomfortable
Don't make me put me think I my head.'s going to just slide off again dude that was embarrassing.
Dude in a town full of hats, why would I put on a gun?
So Mike of course is seeing his own lie behavior. But you know,
is he protecting or not? Who cares? Because the editors make
the best montage of Mike lying about his affair. He's like, no, no, no, I didn't. Like, why in a town of party buses?
Would I, you know, like write a bicycle, bro?
The same exact thing. Yeah. He like literally does everything that
Shervin's doing. And it was just like this big long montage of Mike Lang. It was amazing.
And then Mike gets to do his favorite thing, which is act like because he said he was sorry
for cheating and got dumped and started wearing eyebrow makeup, then now he knows things.
Yeah.
That makes me fucking crazy when people are like, I've made mistakes.
Let me tell you about, no, you don't get to teach people because you've made mistakes.
You get to teach people when you've learned to like overcome those mistakes, dude.
You cheated, you got dumped.
Now you still single and pathetic and try to make baby shoes because your other shoes didn't
work.
Let's not pretend that you can write some fucking self-help book on like baby shoe
empires and falling in love.
Get married first.
Do something good first.
Well, Mike likes playing the role of the wise old man.
He loves giving patronizing advice.
And the sad thing is actually sometimes his advice is pretty spot on,
but it's kind of annoying that he's always doing it.
You know, he's like, I'm like, why is man?
Like what you have to do is you have to be good.
You have to be good to your one woman.
Like you have to get the Honda Civic man because there's a more reliable cars.
It's like, shut up, Mike.
Yeah, and of course, there's advice that's reliable.
It's like from a greeting card.
It's from like a positive calendar, one positive thing a day.
He's like, if you build on lies, you build them up, and then it's lies, and then it's blurred
reality.
And one day, the truth will ruin whatever internet pretend life you've built.
It's like, come on, Mike.
You know what, man? It's like, it's like the the calendar says the real reason why the dinosaurs died is they were smoking like Mike
You're looking at a far side calendar now. Oh
He's like if you build on lies, you're always gonna be the sad fat girl with stringy hair. That's Kathy
If you build that lies, you're just gonna be like one of those cars that drives by cows.
And when you drive past, they stand up under feet again and talk like normal.
You're back to far side, Mike.
He's like, if you tell the truth, you'll be a dog on top of a flying doghouse.
Like, okay, okay, peanuts, okay, Mike, thanks.
Thanks for coming.
Also, the difference, Mike's montage of all the lies that he told,
Mike, you were married.
Okay, that's a huge,
they're never gonna show clips of, you know,
blow up doll Annalise from Australia
who's probably spent a total of four days with serving,
like sobbing and crying that servant.
You think that blow up dolling fucking people in Australia?
What do you think she's blowing her face up for she's looking for the one? Okay. Yeah, I I agree. I
I agree totally that's probably why the the producers have not made a bigger thing about this affair than it is because
If if the stakes were higher, you know, they would have upgraded Tara to main cast member, et cetera, already. But they're just like, eh, it's Annalise,
who really cares if she gets cheated on?
And Sherman, you know?
Yeah.
So then we go to Gigi, who is now at Howard Fines,
acting studio, because she's going to be performing
in a play called Six Tips for Straight Women,
of sorry, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a gay man,
which am I
remember?
Am I remembering this correctly?
Was that the same thing that Sonya was in?
Oh God, was it?
Okay, I'll go the internet.
Because of course, like, why bother looking it up before the show.
And how do you need acting class?
You know, some of this stuff, it's like, why do you need acting classes?
It's probably like the vagina monologues where you're reading out of a trapper keeper, the
same shit that Judy read in her tour or the same thing that I don't know everybody been in that no offense to the I love you
But it's probably one of those plays who's like I'm in a off Broadway play coming up called
And just Howard finds face because he's like one of those creepy looking acting teachers
He's probably 80 but he has like the wig and the eyebrow penciling and all that stuff to be
60 and then he has that big smiley Botoxed like denture smile where it never moves he just
looks like the creepy guy in a white van. It's true. Even by the way I just did. Yeah and I did
look it up. Sony that was the play that Sonya was in.
So clearly, this is a play that traffic's in reality stars that way they can get mentions
on Bravo.
And look what's happened.
Now we're talking about it on, on our podcasts.
Well, hopefully anyone who has enough taste to listen to this show, this classy show would
know to skip such a steep and fucking show.
Broadway, this is what happened to you. What happened to the days of puppetry of the penis?
What about stomp? Oh
My god, that was so good. Stop was good. That was amazing. I met two I met two people from stomp recently and I was fascinated by them
Yeah, I was like oh, sorry, dude? I was like, how does it work?
I asked them so many questions. They were like, okay,
they're like bang, bang, bang, bye.
Yeah, they like bang on things.
Isn't that the one where they're swinging from ropes
and bouncing from the ceiling and all that shit?
I think so.
I saw all of those. I saw all of those huge like,
we're like a tap dance show,
but it's like street tapping
You know, I remember seeing it in ninth grade and I was like wow, but I actually didn't love it to be honest
I felt like after a while it was sort of the same old thing like I was like I felt like I needed more of an arc
And you know, I was like the swinging rope thing that wasn't that was just like hardcore
Oh, that was
Was that the because remember there was also that like famous thing in New York City
Maybe in like late 90s or a little 2000s where it was like these you would be in a room and the people would swing on ropes like down like in the ceiling
Yeah, they were like bungees that they it was called like so I don't have like a Spanish name
Yeah, that one was cool too. I was just gonna say if it was that one you don't want Bravo star is like swinging swinging from ropes you know it's like too soon. Okay I was gonna say I would love Gigi and
stop because she would make it somehow into like a personal dramatic thing like and I supposed to
bang the drum like how often do I bang the drum like these are things no one's telling me what to do
I feel alone I feel alone in the stop I'm banging and no one's hearing me
Or she would get so over dramatic that it would be like a really badly named sequel like stop beer
This lady is stopping so hard. We've never seen someone stop this hard
We've never seen someone stop this hard. It's like,
Gigi is trying to go over the lines with Howard Fine.
She's not hearing what he's saying,
and we learned that she has some hearing issues
that she's had since she was a kid.
She hears pictures differently.
But nevertheless, she perseveres,
and she is doing this scene,
and he's doing all this stuff like don't forget your nerves
Use your nerves and it's basically her saying over and over again. Hello. My name is Robin Brown
Hello, my name is Robin Brown. Hello. My name is Robin Brown. I'm here to teach but I forgot my book
I just asked me says it because she's supposed to be the leader of some you know sex talk or whatever and she's like
supposed to be the leader of some you know sex talk or whatever and she's like hello my name is Robin Brown and I'm here to talk about this is why are you
talking like that she's like whisper talking this ain't film honey but Howard
just like smiles creepily at her like Van Van Lollipop Van ice cream ice cream
later manager you selling Lollipops her star ice cream sir get in get in you reminded me of like a Mike Myers character I think
that's well I think that's what Mike Myers next character should be like drop
this weird gong show thing he's doing this summer do an acting teacher
because I would be down for that yeah how would fine he's like did you find it
okay I'm how would fine can you remember remember that? It's on the outside too.
It's like, okay Howard, we take you seriously sir.
So then we go to a fertility practice
because what would Shah's sons at B
if we didn't have like a visit to a doctor every third scene,
right?
So here we are at the doctor's office
and Resa and Adam are walking in
and Resa's like, I had problems coming in my cup. I wasn't sure if my penis was in the cup or if it was out of the cup.
Like, bitch be like, where's the brim?
Filled to the rim with brim. My dick couldn't even fit in the cup.
I'm like, I'm sure your dick couldn't fit in the cup. Resa, come on now.
So the front desk, she's like, hi!
So Adam is like, thank so much for coming here and doing the deposit. How long do they take you? He's
like, it took me a really long time. Okay, here's what happened. Adam decided to come to the place to
get a dispermed deposit. And then I decided to come to the place to give a dispermed deposit and then I decided to come to the place to
give a sperm deposit. We both
came here and then we separated
and then we shot a load,
he shot a load and then I shot
a load and now we're here again
to see who's swimming.
If it has a gold chain and a
member's only jacket, it's my
sperm. It's like okay.
There's a God, it's like a book on tape.
Like we get it. You came in cups.
My sperm beat up his sperm in the cup.
Now his sperm's all dead. I win.
My sperm's swimming a chevron pattern.
So Dr. Ringler, who by the way,
looks exactly like Michael from Potomac, he's giving the sperm results.
So Reza has a plus sperm. They also have some great, they look great. They're doing wonderful things with life.
They can use a real safe practice. Yeah, yeah, totally. Their picture is on a bus bench.
They're on my sashes. They're already starting to shoot with other sperm.
Hey, sperm. I heard that that sperm was talking really bad. What do you think about that, egg?
This firms are beating up the egg. We've never seen this before. They're dismantling each egg one by
one. And now the sperms are crying. It's so weird. I've never thought I'd get to
be with the egg. So, uh, this firms like, uh, or the doctor's like, the, your sperm's doing great.
It could use a back wax, but otherwise.
Your sperm, we don't understand why your sperm seems to have a broach on it, but okay.
So, but Adam sperm is not as good.
It's, um, some of them are mischaping and Adam's like, oh, he's like, well,
to be fair the day before I did mine and I was like, oh, he's like, well, to be fair,
the day before I did mine,
I was walking in the heat wearing jeans.
So my testicles were a little warm.
And I was like, okay, Adam.
He's like, it's true.
I was mulled by a cat, but this time it was a real cat.
Your sperms are twisted because you had your ankles
behind your head for like three hours, okay?
That's why he's like you try and live through it not have miss shape and the firearms like we get
You're about to your sperm doesn't count. Okay, you know, Reza's sperm is gonna win out anyway
You know even if your sperm happen to win Reza would make MJ sneak in there and
Get rid of the evidence to just put his sperm in there. He is not going to be
raising some ginger baby. Let's not let's not fool ourselves. No, he doesn't want a tame gay baby.
Not at all. He doesn't even want a baby because now they're like, okay, let's talk about egg donors
and others are like, whoa, this is like too much. Like bitch, be like, ovulating too soon for me.
If they do this with MJ, I swear to God, I'm going to lose my life.
I will give my life up.
Is that too much of a promise?
Well, she would never give up.
She would, like, you know, so it's to do a call back to flipping out when they had the
baby episode.
One thing I was sort of struck by is that when they delivered the baby, they immediately
like snipped the baby and gave it to Jeff engage.
And then they cut to the surrogate just saying they're like,
hmm, you know, I don't see that happening with MJ.
You know, you take that baby out of MJ
if she's a surrogate and she is like,
well, I guess what you were saying, Agdonor,
but I'm already thinking surrogate.
I don't see her letting that baby go.
She just, you know, I was thinking surrogate, yeah.
Yeah, I don't think that's,
I think I could see that being a lifetime movie right there. Well, that would be the kind
of, you know, gay, that would be like the new kind of way to raise a baby. Like you get
them one week, he gets them the other week blah, blah, blah. I think Resa wouldn't do it
with the mom still alive, but I think MJ would do it because she'd be like, dude, this
ties me to Resa forever. And he can never really like betray me again, because I'd be like, dude, this ties me to Reza forever.
And he can never really like betray me again,
because I'll be the mother of his child or whatever,
but I don't think, I would hope that Reza's smarter than that,
but I think Reza would say, like, oh no,
this ties me to Vita for the rest of my life.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
He wouldn't do it until Vita dies.
So speaking of which, we then cut to Tommy and MJ walking the dogs in a park. And Tommy's doing like, Doc calls, he's what I mean. He wouldn't do it until Vita dies. So speaking of which we then cut to Tommy and MJ
Walking the dogs in a park and Tommy's doing like duck calls. He's like
He was like surprisingly very accurate
He really has duck voice, you know something you know what they saw people have duck lips. He has actual duck voice
Yeah, he does and I like that he just kind of happy go luckily and stupidly goes along wherever she's like look
It's a park and he's like park and she's like look it's a park and he's like park she's like look it's ducks and he's like like like look it's a turtle he's like okay Tommy
like you don't have to like be everything that she's pointing at.
She is he's truly one of those baby toys where you pull the string and it does the voice
of whatever animal is in that wedge of the circle. I did like that when MJ said,
look, it's an aquatic turtle.
I think they're all aquatic.
An aquatic turtle.
That's right, some turtle shade for me.
You're welcome.
But also it gets like,
it's all, it's gonna be a whole episode.
You're gonna be like, wait a minute.
It's gonna be like, aquatic turtle in Oklahoma.
You're gonna be like, wait a second, Mindy. You stole from me. She's so talented. It's also MJ just dropping some
knowledge. She's like, I may seem like a stupid slut, but I know what an aquatic turtle
is. I'm so kind of like, so Tommy's like, Hey, nice. Yeah, it spot. It's a park Tommy. It's a park bench.
So MJ, guess what?
She wants a baby and she wants it now.
And now she's talking about Asa's big lie about defrosting embryo, which to me, this
is so blown out of proportion.
I get why MJ is annoyed if she felt like, oh, she was talking about this process with
Asa and then Asa was acting like she was totally far into it when she wasn't like, I get that. That's annoying. And it's like fake.
But MJ is truly acting like Asa has pulled off the biggest con and the history of cons.
Like, so what? So what? Who cares? She had a bitch. She like, she thought out an embryo
and stuck it up to her badge. Okay, she did it. Okay, I'm talking like Bethany now.
Yeah. She's a bad. She's true. Like, she did it. Okay, I'm talking like Bethany now. Yeah, she's
a match. But it's true. Like she's real and she tells them, um, I didn't tell you this. Yeah, I'm
sure MJ. I'm sure you you brought Tommy all the way to the park in front of an aquatic turtle to
tell him this huge news. But she's like, I didn't tell you this, but also in Israel,
lie to me over and over again, by omission. Yeah. Okay. She goes, MJ Israel, lie to me over and over again, bio mission.
Yeah, okay.
She goes, MJ says,
I feel jipped of my entire friendship,
by the way, as we know,
jipped is not politically correct to say,
but also like, okay, so also was shady about that.
I don't deny that.
I do think MJ has a right to be annoyed
about that specific thing about, you know,
here she's just talking about this, the fertilization,
going for fertility doctor, et cetera. But the entire friendship was a lie. Come on now MJ,
just relax. If she lied about freezing embryos, what else did she lie about?
Everything, everything's a lie now. I'm just imagining MJ walking on the first and through dial and suddenly having
this revelation. It's like, wait a second, assessor of me macaroni. And she served me peas.
I bet they came from this aisle. It's all lies. And even Tommy knows like Tommy's ability to see
the truth and just say the truth, even if MJ MJ never listens because she's like she's a bad friend
What else did she lie about and he goes if she doesn't reciprocate being friends
There's no reason to be friends in other words even he knows you've been dumped
I'm like stop making it like you found out some huge secret now. You're not gonna be friends with Asa
I also don't like you she dumped you a long time ago. It's like breaking up with someone six months after they broke up with you
You're already dumped MJ. Okay. Yeah, I'm done to barren. So move along
Well, the thing is this I think
MJ would have a stronger case if she stuck to what she says later in the episode
Which is you know what I think I saw this full of shit and I'm sick of supporting it that makes sense
I get that but the like her whole life is a lie
She lied about the embryos and now she's saying she did
Like also before you knew any of that you called her baby a bastard over and over in front of her face and everybody
Then you were a total bitch to her about it. So
Yeah, and honestly I'm not I'm not mad at Asa for saying, yeah, I don't
trust you because MJ, while we love MJ and we're thoroughly entertained by her, she has
proven herself to be a shady, shady person. Well, all of them have their shitty friends
on the show. That's what always makes me crazy on this show. And even Resa, and we said
this last year, it's Asa's turn to get the Reset treatment where he just fucks you
over. Completely betrays you for no reason. She's the only one who
hasn't gotten it in the long term cast. And we're like, how in the
world is he going to do it? And then this year when it started with
her pregnant, I was like, well, he can't do it now. I remember
thinking, well, now her betrayals going to have to wait a year
and also she really doesn't give him that much. She's printing eyes, I think. But he still
did it. You've got to be impressed with that guy. Yeah, you do. I mean, don't forget though,
Asa was on the bottom of the Totem pole season one. That was the whole thing. They were
all like, she wears clothing from H&M. Yeah. Season one of Shaws was actually pretty amazing.
It was pretty great.
It was kind of before they teetered into totally
awful behavior.
They were just kind of ridiculous.
But I mean, the show is still hilarious.
So we then go over to Asa.
And she's showing her mom, the video draft of her little,
she's making her thing, her video of her meeting with the spiritual leaders
in Israel and she's showing her mom and she,
Anasa's telling either her mom or us, she's saying,
how she wished her friends had had an enriching experience
the way she did with those leaders.
I'm like, well, how about next time you invite your friends
to meet the three spiritual leaders instead of like letting
them loose in the market and then letting them get
freaked out over toy guns
Yeah, she's so she's like look at my rich experience mom and he's like
Three Jews walked into him. It's like the jokeiest like musical theater thing that she set up It's like I still think those are homeless guys just
Pretend I know but to be fair. This is where ossa is really just becoming so
So ridiculous because she's saying, she says,
you know, they, babe, they just, they have not been able to elevate to that level of spiritual
awareness. And that's the problem. Oh, awesome. You're living in the Venice house that some rich
dude bought you a long time ago with, like, you don't have to work. You get money handed to you
for basically doing nothing. And you get to live a dream life for you, just like, okay, I want to put tons of money towards this and
shit, which you don't even work for. And you keep saying elevating. Stop acting like
you creatively visualized everything around you. Please.
Yeah. Yes. Makes me. So, so now, Asa, they set up a camera because she's going to record
an introduction for her movie. And so she, up the camera and this is how she introduced it.
Hi, I'm Asa Sotan.
I'm seven and a half months pregnant.
It's time to coax this piecefully.
Oh my God.
Pregnancy break.
I'm not gonna accept the baby wants a snack.
The baby wants a snack.
The baby is elevated.
The baby is elevated.
I feel it.
Okay, it's done meditating.
Baby says that's a wrap.
Oh, baby, that's a mic.
Baby says we're rolling.
We're rolling.
Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards
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But come on, someday,
parenting is unbearable.
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Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia,
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Each week we'll share a parenting story
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You see even we're talking on us, like her faux spirituality has always been fucking
a boxish, but I think all says nice like what's the deal with taking a handy cam to Israel
and seeing how other people do it, even if you're hiring them off of Jerusalem dot Craigslist dot com like
Still, you know she's making an effort to do something nice
At least she's not accusing three year olds of like learning terrorism from plastic guns off the key Oscar in the street
I think os is I actually think os is very nice. I feel like I can actually see myself
Like getting along with her or like I have
a certain group of friends where I can imagine meeting up with them for like a dinner party in
Asa's there and like I wouldn't I would be like this woman's kind of crazy but she seems nice and I
do actually think that Asa I do think she cares about people but she's full of it too like you can
still think someone's nice and that they're full of it.
That's totally fine.
Well, yeah, I mean, look,
if she's takes more than five minutes
to ever think about human nature or shitty behavior,
of course, she's gonna cut these people off emotionally
because those are toxic people.
Like, what are you gonna do, you know?
Yeah, you almost have to respect her
for what she's did, to be honest.
I like how we're really all over the map with Asa today. We're just like, well, just feel all the fear that's what hippie bullshit always makes me crazy because it always seems to be
extremely rich. Like people who don't have to do anything that are talking like Jim Carrey did this thing this weekend.
The headline was Jim Carrey speaks out about material or speaks out against materialism from the New York Fashion Week
I'm like read this headline. Please like this is the most hilarious headline I've ever heard
Against anti-materialism from New York Fashion Week. It's like of course Jim Kerry can say fuck materialism
Yeah, as he's sitting there, well, well, my love
walked down the runway with the other one and the other one, you know, yes, yes,
it's like you didn't get somewhere because you're mentally advanced. Jim
Kerry, okay. I think he is mentally advanced. I am a huge Jim
Kerry fan and I think he is a comic genius, but that's for another episode. So
speaking of people who may not be
mentally advanced, we now go to Mike at a photo shoot for his baby shoes.
And he's like, all right, I want it to be like a Benetan ad.
I want it to be like United Colors of babies. It's like, okay, you know,
Benetan's been over for a long time, right? It's like like 30 years.
Yeah. 30.
Like I wanted to be like units. You could put one baby on another baby and it
makes a skirt, you know
It's like stop coming up the stores from the 80s, okay
So I want a baby on a stick okay, so Mike Mike is basic
He's talking to this photographer who I think he got for $5 because the photographer was literally putting plain blankets on the floor
For babies to crawl around on everything without a focus like you look terrible but Mike's giving him
direction he's like basically we're gonna have a huge online presence this is
gonna be on Facebook Instagram Wow
almost as big as us
you're practically Vogue.
He's like, time to show the world what true gold baby shoes are, how
going to be about my poorly exposed photos.
So he is walk.
There's tons of babies here.
Yeah, because in LA, if you don't make it, you have a baby and then try and make them make it, you know Yeah, which is why Ben and I are getting pregnancy
I know it's called the story of Kim Kyle and Kathy
We're finding our booth at the polo labs
Exactly so there's no there babies crawling around everywhere and then I love that Mike's mom walks in like a sheriff
She walks in she got jeans on and a shirt tucked in sunglasses and she's like,
howdy.
Howdy golden dole.
Howdy June.
What's going on?
I'm here to make sure you're not totally fucking up.
And she walks in like, she's not really sure what's going on,
but she suspects she's finally gonna get Mike to buy a baby.
You know, it's like the happiest she's ever looked.
She's like, finally I get to help him pick it out.
It's like no, they're here for shoes.
Oh God, you're still doing that?
Yeah, I think this woman has the patience of a saint
or our Jewish equivalent of that because
she, you know, she seems like a pretty smart woman and she seems like someone who has
like a taste level and she has to sit here and watch her son make mistake after mistake and she's
like, other son, he's dentist, what is wrong with you? Now with babies and shoes? All right,
I'm gonna stand there. I'm just going over see. So it's like the other shoes, but tiny. He's like, yes. I like this one. But she
does say this is a good one. Here's my thing with his mom. Why is she so picky about
everything that Jessica did? She's like, she must go through school. Renounce Jesus,
be almost drowned on a beach by rabbi. And like, there's like this whole list of shit
that Jessica had to go through for her approval. Mike doesn't even have to keep a job in real estate
for more than two years. Like if she was that picky with her own son, if she is around everybody else
surrounding her son, we might be somewhere. Yeah, well, I think that's true. I mean, I think that she
was that tough on on Jessica because she also saw that Jessica was kind of like trash.
I'm going to say, fine. Yeah, if you're going to come into this family, you're going to work for it.
And, you know, I think that, I think here's the thing, she's probably giving up on Mike.
She's like, okay, the future is in the babies, all right. So, you know, if you're going to be
bringing the future in, we can't rely on Mike to be the role model. You have You have to be the role model Jessica so you have to be the happy lifting. I'm sorry
Yes, and you've given yourself a face of like a cartoon whale. We can we can't continue
But I thought this was interesting because Mike was talking about how he's a mom and boy shocker
We all know but he really is because in the beginning he's looking at all these babies like oh fuck
He's like what do you do with it how do you do this and then the minute she walks in he's like holding
babies like oh look at the baby it's like you don't like those babies you're about to throw
one across the room before your mom got in here I saw you. Yeah. So I'm feeling a little
restless I feel like what the show really needs is to go back to the doctor's office and sure enough it's Gigi at the doctor
Okay, what is it this year Gigi? Okay, we know now it's hearing loss last year it was the
Sarcoma of the the
Finger right us. What was it before?
It's it's anger management. It's
It's R.A. It's always something. So but this time so she shows up her she and her mom show up at this doctor's office for Dr. Sweet and Dr. Sweet time for like a GG's hearing
to ask you okay I'm gonna play some sound I'm like are you
even a real doctor okay you're an audiologist just kidding
that's a that was a marriage medicine Houston callback
last year that was a little shout out to Ellie this reminded
me of being a kid and lying about needing glasses and I went
to the eye doctor and I was like, nope, can't see it.
Can't see it.
That ease of be.
Nope, it's like the biggest letter on there.
I'm like, can't see it.
I got Coke bottle glasses and then really needed glasses
a few years later because I was faking it.
You see, it's like an intense.
He's right down all these stories.
Right down all these fucking
these stories.
And that's a true story.
No one tell my mother, please,
because I still haven't admitted it,
even though she secretly known the whole time
So GG that and this reminds me of that because GG's like yeah, they're like cake and she's like cake forest shower
No, Gigi, you know, she didn't just say shower. Come on. Yeah, I was getting a little vibe of that also But I liked how Gigi turned this hearing test into some sort of personal journey because she's like, you know
Everyone is trying to improve me, but this is the first time that I'm trying to improve myself. I'm like
You're taking a hearing test. Okay, you can't hear things. This is not like a triumph of the will and yes
I will make a Nazi reference with you Gigi. I will
So coming out with a line of plastic clip on hair isn't trying to improve yourself.
Then I just don't know what is, ma'am.
So anyway, the lady is like, yeah, you have hearing problems.
I mean, I'm going to give you a hearing aid.
You just say, yeah.
So now we go to Asa's events, which actually, by the way, I actually really liked the layout
of this like garden space.
It was way too big though considering that about
40 people came they had like a whole outdoor space with like two bars and all these tables but what is with the intercontinental hotel that's the only place they go to on this show
is it a place that MJ just like tried to fuck Tommy in a couple weeks ago?
Tommy in a couple weeks ago. Oh, I think you're right.
That's got some weird deal with their
just.
Bring up the euro trash like they look
through all of Bravo's catalog and
we're like these.
These are our people.
Well, leave it to the Shah's of sunset
to find excitement in Century City.
You know, so they do have a good
routes
and they have
that's where Tom click your
restaurant is which we have to go
to oh god this to you here the
street super outside
because we sent you to a
continental it's like time to
take out the trash
I'm getting I'm getting flash
back to when I was
streaks wept to weeks of when I was street swept to weeks ago
When I was walking the street the street super came up to me and just like yeah, they like drove up alongside me I was like I became like tamgay like reacting to Gigi's claws like I think I even yelled at the street super Gigi
I pay my taxes Gigi
How dare you you're sweeping dust on to me, Gigi.
So, anyway, Asa's event and Asa is,
she's walking around and she's like,
I'm inherently political, I'm a refugee
and my art is about peace.
Okay, great. What a really like bravado statement.
You may call, some people say she's a political artist,
babe. Some people say she's a photojournalist, babe. Some people say she's like a scientist, babe.
I'm a refugee. You are none of those things. Stop it. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's
artist Aline. Maybe it's refugee Aline. Maybe it's called by a lean.
So
Refugee by lean too.
So, um, and like, uh, fun cameo news, Paris Jackson showed up.
So that was cool.
She was giving me some Laura Palmer vibes.
I think it's because my brain is fully in Twin Peaks mode. Like I have been reading Twin Peaks fan theories for
the past week and I cannot get enough of them. I'm like fully
obsessed. I'm I'm like, I can't stop.
Was it good? Was the end of twin? I'm sorry, I don't want to derail,
but was it. No, no, it made it was totally confounding.
And I'm not going to give any spoilers with anything,
but it was confounding, it was puzzling.
It left you being like, what?
And yet the strange, like, after effect was like,
that was amazing.
I just, I absolutely loved this Twin Peaks.
It was so strange, it was so out there,
but you felt like you were watching a really complete vision
by someone, like an artist.
And like a real artist, not an Ossosal tab,
but like David Lynch and Mark Frost had a vision
that was inherently political bid.
And it often made no sense.
And sometimes it could be tedious.
And sometimes it was like exciting.
But it's more about like you watch it and you're like,
huh, and then you go, you read analysis online.
And when you read the analysis, you're like, I don't know if this analysis is true or not,
what they're actually thinking, but if it was holy fucking shit, it's like amazing.
So I think the best TV you have to read comment threads for, because I don't understand
anything.
Like if it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't even know what was happening on game of throws, but I'd still watch it
Which which episode are you up to on Twin Peaks the return because I know you would you'd solve that
I think like four and I used to love Twin Peaks. It's just you like weird. It's weird. It's so weird
Yeah, I think I just had enough of that as a kid because in the end it was just like it's a ghost from there
It's a spirit and get coming from this other place with weird rules and I don't know
But I'll get into it because I always think that about shows then I've been to watch them and love them
Yeah, I mean, it's um, it's a weird it's
I think the thing that while was hard in the beginning the season is that
It is a departure from what the original series was and like I think a lot of us were hoping that the show was going
to take place largely in Twin Peaks and it's going to be about sort of like another crime
and there's going to be that sense of like lots of characters intertwined and this one
is a big sprawling thing that's across the country and it's and they're all these
threads and some of them sort of don't have a resolution and some of them do and
It just sort of has a growing effect because then as things start to fall into place like every time something falls into place
It's like thrilling because
You're so lost for so much of it and then all of a sudden when things start to make sense you're like oh my god
So I'm excited for you to watch it and I especially can't wait to hear what you say
about episode eight because that was,
I've never seen anything like that on TV ever before.
Yeah, well, I'll watch that one day for sure.
In the meantime, I wrote the meantime,
that Paris Jackson is Laura Palmer
and Heidi Montagg squished into one.
That's so crazy.
We both got a Laura Palmer thing out of her, right?
Yeah, but there's like something
like the way she moves
is kind of high, I mean, classic Heidi Montag, not this one.
She was actually, if I may,
do another Twin Peaks indulgence,
she's a little bit of like Laura Palmer
and Audrey Horn mixed up together.
That's what I was getting.
I miss Audrey Horn.
I loved her, boxing Helena.
Oh, okay.
So back to this party at a Marriott. So awesome. Yeah, so awesome
Then tells us that she never complains and then the producers the producers have been really hilarious about
Also the season because then they give a full montage of awesome complaining about everything my back babe
Oh, man pregnancy bib pregnancy
Brain bib pregnancy bib. Oh my ankles babe. Oh my butt babe
And I like that they kept showing all the clips of her saying like, I'm like a
thug. I don't, I don't complain, babe, like I'm like a thug. I don't need a lot.
Then she's like, Oh my God, how was I shot in the back? It feels like it with this
baby. And then she's like, you know, it's just like my friends, like, they just need
to be more loving to me. Like I feel sort of alone. Is there like not loving and they
cut a destiny being like, you look so beautiful.
What can we do? Can we help? Can we do anything for you?
They just keep cutting back and forth and she's like, oh, my fat is popping.
Check. No, that's what you see in yourself, but that's not what you're giving, girl.
She's like, I need better friends. So then we go to MJ getting ready for the night
and she's duct taping her boobs into her dress
and time is like,
otherwise he's somebody boobs MJ.
I don't know what my body, I mean,
I don't know what my voice is for him.
I feel like last season I had a really good voice room
and now I'm just like fully spastic.
He's like, hey babe, I don't know where my belt's all
or my pocket squares.
So, I have an answer for you.
I have an answer for you.
You never had them in the first place.
Also, various wind peaks.
That is so cool.
He's like, hey, you got to cover those things up, huh?
She's like, but I taped them down.
He's like, look, you're booms of fantastic, but I don't need everyone else to see too. Look, you can't
marry your tree and then ask it to be a goldfish. Okay? You know, get just like you married
MJ. You're stuck with MJ. Welcome. Yeah. The rest of your life, you know, closing down
the hometown buffet in bikini tops. Okay. That's what you meant. So Reza comes over and he's looking around and he's like,
this bitch is still living in squalor.
Like, that's not so Persian.
A Persian person gives a clean.
A white person lives in squalor.
This is probably Tommy's fault.
Bitch be like, I'm not picking up my stuff.
But apparently there was like no sink in the bathroom
Well, when the MJ not lived in squalor we never saw that place because the last place we saw was close everywhere
Trash everywhere and dog poop everywhere. So how is this different? It the other one was on a different floor
Okay, yeah, the only difference
Resa if you're a real friend you just called taskrab and get it done with okay
Stop pick it on her.
He's such an ass.
He's like, who should I attack?
MJ for living in Squalor and having a dying father?
Or us for making a baby?
Yeah.
So speaking of which we go back to Asa's event and she's talking about her back that and
Shervin shows up and he starts talking to Gigi to do more damage control
and he's like, I kind of feel like you were playing both sides of the street. I'm like, not an
expression, but sure. And so they're just like talking to him into an interesting game of poor people
hockey. She's like, I'm sorry I couldn't hear you.
Yeah, your plague both sides of the street.
She's like, um, oh, Gigi, she's like, I just don't want to know about it. Okay.
Like, it's hard for me to even hear it in the first place.
And then once I hear it, like, I'm so excited to hear it that I tell people.
Okay.
Just stop telling me.
By the way, a real good way for Gigi to undermine her own credibility is to have an entire storyline about how she can't hear things correctly.
I mean, if you can't understand the word, like doorbell, it's very
possible. You actually literally misheard Shervin speaking. He's like,
well, I picked her up and went to ice cream and she just hears,
so they went and they fucked at a 7-11.
She's like, wait a minute, Park,
she's finally hearing things from the original hearing test.
They got embedded in her here.
Okay, now here's where I'm a sexist asshole They got him bedded in here. Okay. This now, okay.
Here's where here's where I'm a sexist asshole because every and I didn't realize it
until these bravo shows.
Every time the guy insists that they didn't do it, I always believe the guy.
That is so fucked up because again and again, they're wrong.
Jackson entire season one.
I was like, he obviously this is being made up.
Jacks would not fuck Kristen. Okay, that would not happen.
I don't believe that Jackson Kristen did. I thought that was some weird rumored,
like something that Katie threw out there to get the heat off of her.
That season, like Mike and Jessica. Yeah, I believed it.
But he was denying it so much. I thought, well, maybe it was just like a little
kissing or something like that. It wasn't that big of a deal.
Like, I believe it because these guys really do lie so vehemently. And servant is doing the same thing. And you
know he's lying. Of course, he has sex with him. But the other part of me is like, why
would he just say, it's so weird. Does he not want to be sued by the husband? Like, I
don't get it. It's not for on a lease. Yeah. And I don't think that Tara has anything
to gain from this. If she's lying. She has nothing to gain from the lie
But but he has motivation to lie so it lines up to me. I mean, I think it's like pretty obvious that Sherman had sex with Tara
He did something. Yeah, it me too. I'm just but when he says things like
Well, Gigi has a history of fabricating things. And she takes, she takes me saying, I, what I went out with Tara, or I met up with Tara
into being hooked up with Tara.
And that's not the same thing.
It was apps.
We didn't even have on.
We, we, we had to know Tara, Tara.
I mean, that barely counts as anything first-space.
So then we go back to MJ's place where MJ is still getting ready.
And she's once again talking about the embryos, and she's talking about her doctor, and she's
wondering if Asa was seeing the same doctor, doctor, what's his face, gold, or something
like that.
And Reza, so like, see, Riza's a fucker.
So he, I forget exactly the language they were using,
but.
Like she was saying, speaking of eggs,
which I don't know why they were,
it was probably like on the catering menu or whatever.
But she's like speaking about eggs,
you know, we talked about frozen eggs and in vitro,
which means like they're gonna put sperm in me or like inject it. Watch this put a goner lipstick. I'm
just like, no! Those are eggs that he inseminates and then he watches them grow
and then once they grow, he pokes at them and then he sees which ones can fight
better. And the weak ones like Adam, he smashes with the pencil eraser.
And the ones that are strong, like me, with little octopus cold things on their colors,
he lets grow.
And then, once they're big enough, then they put them inside of you.
Come on!
Yes.
Yeah, because you say, like, how do you not know this stuff?
But somehow they're talking about this doctor.
And I think it's that MJ suspecting
that Austin has been going the same doctor.
And Resa says something like,
well, if I were going to Dr. Goldio,
so he says something like that,
that somehow in MJ's mind that was like a tell,
it was a slip up.
And it was so obvious, Reza.
Yeah, Reza was like, yeah, he was, it was, to me, I actually didn't think that was a tell.
I thought he was being theoretically, but then seeing that it was supposed to be a tell.
It was very, I mean, he literally said like, if I were saying Dr. Goldie, I mean,
if I were seeing another doctor, I'm like, you love, like, Resa's blatant shit stirring.
Yes.
And MJ's like, oh my God, that con man,
or did I say MJ?
MJ is like that con man, Sarletan.
She, I took her to that doctor.
I shared that info with her.
That is not cool.
Look, you fuckers got that doctor
because it was some free Instagram exchange.
He was your high school friend, right? Didn't they all go to high school with him? He's
been around for like five years on this show. But you know, everybody they see on this show
is like, okay, we'll give you Botox a few trade-as for a few Instagram posts or, you know,
hotel intercontinental like case closed. So it's not like you get diss. MJ, you know.
closed. So it's not like you get this MJ, you know, you don't get good. And also who cares? It's a doctor like no one cares. It's like
when you go to the same Wendy's, what did she steal your idea? No.
She wanted a square hamburger. Okay. So now, Reza and MJ are now
having this ridiculous epiphanies. And Reza is like, ever since Asa told me she was pregnant,
something has not been sitting right with me.
I'm like, you know what's been not sitting right with you
is the realization that you haven't turned on in your yet.
On her yet.
So that's what's not sitting right with you.
And then MJ is like, I just feel shell shocked.
I feel like there's like a deep level of deceit.
I'm like, you guys both have to just like cool your jets
right now.
Okay, like this is so insignificant.
I love that, I love that Auntie was saying.
She was asking me a million questions
and I gave her answers.
I was like, you still don't even know how it works.
What are you talking about?
Like you don't want to know what insemination is.
You don't know what a frozen egg does.
You're an idiot.
You gave her no information. Okay. I think Asa wasn't like looking for information. She was just
trying to understand how much you do because you probably was like, so babe, you know what happens
when the sperm meets the egg. She's like, yeah, you know, you catch it out and then you got a
fork and a knife and then like it's time for dinner. It's like, well, babe, no, babe, an egg.
The egg gets round. You know, it has a little thing in the middle. It's like, well, babe, no, babe, an egg. Like the egg gets round.
You know, it has a little thing in the middle.
She's like, yeah, you get it.
Tortilla and throw some cheese on it.
And you eat that shit up.
What do you want in instruction, guide?
So meanwhile, over at the Intercontinental,
Asa is in full bullshit mode.
She's talking to some people.
Like, look, I guess like some guests that don't know each other.
And she's like, yeah, you guys have a very similar energy babes like yeah
I can see you guys being friends
They're like I'm the cater waiter. I'm paid to be here. I see big things for you
Look there it is a chaffer dish. I knew it
Also mta ended that scene by going what could be a bigger fuck you in life?
Like maybe saying fuck you and your bastard baby, Empty.
Yeah, that could be a bigger fuck you.
Maybe someone cheating on you with Tommy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So, Resa is still like, whoops.
He's there. I'd like to cut out of the bag. Raza is still like whoops
I let you cut out of the bag and then he watched another party and he's like I didn't know it was going to be such a celebration
This is deathcon. I don't know what the fuck girl friend white girl
So he's basically letting us know whoa. I didn't know this was was going to be so special for Asa that I was going to ruin her whole fucking movie premiere by sticking drunk MJ after her.
Of course, he knew he's a terrible human being.
So everyone's there and then Mike shows up and he's like, he had no idea what this event was or he just brought gifts. So he got her of course some baby shoes, some true gold baby
shoes. And of course, Asa takes them out and like puts one like right on her tummy and
she's like, his feet are right here. So like babe, this is like it's pretend like his
foot is in the shoe right now. I'm like, I understand you're letting a baby join.
Oh my god, it looks just like MJ. She stole that from you too, MJ.
She stole that from you too MJ. And then MJ just starts like rummaging through the gift and everyone's like it's mad at
MJ and I said like babe you want to go over there and just like hang out with the gift
is that what you want to do babe?
I even Tommy's like you brad.
Stop it you brad.
So go over at the buffet.
Tommy's just one one less thing.
Then while while MJ was doing that then
Resa suddenly goes wow he's like I feel bad because I just sort of like dumped all this shit on MJ
I know she's reacting like oops. I'm like yes like you feel bad that you you dumped all the you
New exactly what you were doing. Oh yeah when Asa is talk she's telling some friends like oh yes, you know like am I photojournalist?
No, am I the greatest artist ever? No, I'm a refugee like she started going into her speech for like rando guests
And they just show MJ and Resa
Circling her sipping their drinks like they do where they're just like getting wasted enough to say okay
We'll wait for the, you know,
the people from the coldest act to walk away.
Till we yell at you.
Yes.
So over at the buffet, Tommy is just shoving everything down
with his hands.
He's eating with his hands right off the buffet
because Tommy, you know, he's like,
Yes.
Black, black.
Black girl.
And that's the reason this is a tongue.
And he's like, wow, you're sophisticated.
Yeah, yeah, he made juji looks sophisticated because she was I think there with like pulling it off with the with tongues like
If you make juji look classy something's wrong Tommy. Yeah, definitely like GG
This is a tongue and she's like fire truck
baseball so
so now they like they start showing the video
and MJ is watching and she's just furious
and she's like, you know what, I'm fucking sick
of supporting this charlatan.
You know, like how many times I have to support
Asa as an artist and they do a whole montage
of all the different things that Asa has done,
which is great because it made Asa just like a bull,
she is an artist, a bull should artist, you know. That's true. So MJ is just annoyed. And then someone makes a point.
I think it was MJ about like how Asa did this whole video and didn't include any of
Shervin's footage that he shot when they were on the mean streets of that town with
the toy guns. I was like, there's suit, a bunch of terrified greasy-headed people walking around making
shitty comments about everybody.
But it also just goes to show, like, how this was really, this was just like a, like,
a hand job for Asa, just to perpetuate the image of her being a spiritually enlightened
et cetera, that she didn't even care about the hours of footage that these guys had to try to do that
They didn't want to do and then she doesn't even use any of it like not even use like one shot
At least use the shot of reza crying in the streets because that was a funny as far at least one of the straight hats
Please also, you know MJ has a point when she says, you know one one year at singing, then it's this fucking burka shit.
Then it's this, then it's that.
And she gets all, she wants these huge parties
and all this congratulations of doing things
or for doing things when she doesn't have any merit, you know?
And I'm not gonna fake it.
Okay, all that stuff is true,
but that's not really a reason to be a bitch to somebody.
So what?
So what if us as a flake and just wants to do random projects that don't
need to mean anything or make any money? Like, how does that hurt
you? You're the one being a hurtful bitch. Just don't go
home or leave her alone. And what are you doing, MJ? Where's
your real estate career right now? Exactly. You don't have a
sink, okay? Yeah, you know, get a sink. And then you could
complain about us. I mean, I get it. It is frustrating when someone's really pretentious like that, but it's like
Yeah, but it's I don't know. I don't know
I just don't go to the events. Yeah, it's putting down
It's like if you got mad at me for something random and you're like that guy is so bitchy and too much and blah
Well, of course we're friends. You know all that like you have to yell at me for the specific thing from that day
What are you gonna turn my whole personality against me?
Yeah, I think she has, I think she has a stronger like to stand on if she went after
Asa's, you know, faux artistry than the stupid embryo thing.
Like, who cares if she thought out an embryo?
Like, she's having a baby, be happy for her.
And she's even admitted she's just jealous
because she wanted a baby first.
It's so childish and so sad.
And usually, Ause is better at getting away from this shit
because MJ has tried this with her for years.
Yeah.
And she's usually better getting off, but.
Of course now she has a res on her side
and that's always the clincher in ruining your life stories.
So then they start to argue MJ and Asa and you know I think an MJ is basically like you know you're being deceitful yada yada yada and Asa just serves says well I didn't tell you because I don't
trust you I don't trust you that's why don't tell you shit and Asa like there's not that MJ can say
to that it's true like you're you're untrustworthy. So why should she tell you anything? But then Mike is like, Asa gets to look on her face when she's cut off guard like, hey, like, why don't you believe me?
I'm an honest person and like you almost start to believe her. I'm like, yeah, because she's not saying anything that's crazy.
She's saying, I don't trust you, which is why I didn't do that. I didn't tell you anything.
Resa told them all, like, that's what makes me nuts about this fucking cast, okay?
Resa tells them all who they're mad at,
and so they're gonna come up with any reason
to be mad at these fuckers, you know?
Mike and MJ are the worst with that.
They're little fucking gelatin robots,
and it makes me crazy.
Even when he's done it, the worst to them.
It's almost like if you can't beat him, join him, you know?
And it's sad. Yeah, no one has ever turned on Res them. It's almost like if you can't beat him, join him, you know? And it's sad.
Yeah, no one has ever turned on Resa.
It's kind of amazing.
It's kind of like watching the season of Big Brother.
Ugh.
So yeah, ultimately like MJ walks away and Tommy's like,
come on babe, come on.
Give me a hug and kiss.
Hug and kiss, babe.
Hug and kiss for the best.
For the best, babe.
Yeah, and when Asa says, it's important, babe, you know,
I think it's important to talk about the level
of trust in friendships, babe.
Like, Resanoo, because I can trust him.
Like, oh, really? Because he just orchestrated this whole fucking fight.
So, can't wait for you to see that one.
Yeah, seriously.
Um, and that's pretty much where it ended.
Yeah, Tommy. Tommy is a good man, you know, he's following around like, babe, you don't want to do this. Yeah, he's like, stop boxing me the fuck out.
He's like, relax.
Relax.
She's your friend.
You're told me so.
I'm like not in front of Parish X and please no fighting in front of Paris, but, um,
yeah, Paris is a good guy.
Paris is a good, uh,
Paris is a good, uh,
Paris is a good guy.
I mean, Tommy is, he is a sweet guy and he's just trying to
come her down and show her some love and she's just not
having it. I'm like, well, enjoy the rest of your life
because this is what's always going to be like.
Yeah, enjoy you.
Yeah.
Okay, everybody.
Thanks so much for listening.
We will be back tomorrow with a little real house wise
of Orange County.
Yes.
Have a great rest of your Monday or whatever day you happen to be listening to this
on.
We love you very much.
Super much.
Boy.
Bye everyone.
Bye.
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