Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: In Vitro Hurt-ilization

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

This week, MJ declares war over in vitro eggs, which she still knows nothing about. Thankfully, Asa’s baby can support her. You know she’s pregnant, right? **This week’s premium bonus i...s a recap of LuAnn’s one on one with Andy. For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends
Starting point is 00:00:27 That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find this on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Kelly Grant Cindy Burgess Gerson Just saying Kelly Barlow and Christy Dowerty. We love you girls Hello, and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap We love to talk about on you old braves. I'mon from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor and Paradise podcast, which is sprinting towards the end of a season. Thank Jesus. And here I am with my gorgeous talented musically gifted friend Ben
Starting point is 00:01:36 Melimer of the B side blog and the Banta Blender. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. That was so kind of you to say that I'm musically gifted. That was just lovely. You are I wanted I want to say like musically resume. I didn't know all that musical stuff about you. Yeah, I Disgust to the bony episode. Sorry, no one knows what we're talking about. Yeah, no one knows what we're talking about But that's okay. You'll know soon enough, but yeah, Ronnie and I recorded a bonus episode and we talked about Among many other things the childhood trauma of my musical resume and how I never quite became the star I always thought I would be and that's a theme that lives on to this day. As we sit here podcasting and I watch my friends writing on TV shows and
Starting point is 00:02:27 watch my friends writing on TV shows and whatever buying houses and being super famous and having their own TV shows on Hulu, you know, once you lived here long enough We all know famous people doing more than this, but let me say I'm in my underwear right now And they got up at fucking five in the morning. That's right to go down and sit in a room with a bunch of stinky buttes. That's right. You know, writing something that's not theirs. I win. Yes. Yes. You know, Mindy, you may be super successful, super talented and have written a few books and have your own TV show. I get that. But right now, you probably are thinking about some decisions you have to make,
Starting point is 00:03:07 and I don't have to think about those decisions. I'm at home podcasting. So who won really, Mindy? Who won? Yeah, who won, Mindy? We were classmates, Fred and I was wondering where that came from. But I'm no resentment. Oh, last year. I really don't have resentment. I just think it's funny because I'm like, it's funny how two people can go on two different paths like that So Oh laughter through tears I know it's more about me. It's more about me I'm
Starting point is 00:03:36 Does Midi get to sit here and talk about Raza? I can't believe Asa is so selfish with her feelings about in vitro infertile decision like oh my You want to talk about her a bunch of resentful cut fitness is I am sure Mindy is just Royal English L.A.C. that she can't she can't be here to talk about Sunset so I feel like in the end Maybe I did win maybe I do yeah She's like, that was my real dream. She's listening to this right now on her way from studio to studio.
Starting point is 00:04:10 She's worth me her tears of $100 bills. Look, you could have $20. You can have a million dollars. Domino's is still two for $5.99. I do wonder. I wonder if Mindy actually watches any bra Bravo. Because if she does, maybe I would try to, like, could you imagine if that would actually be really fun if she came on this podcast. But I don't know if she watches Bravo or not. I mean, I haven't talked to her in a few years. I'm sure it would be really fun for her.
Starting point is 00:04:36 It would be like, our first question, what is your agent's name? Our second question is, what is your agent's number? Our third question is, will you do everything for us so we don't actually have to sell? Just sell something called Ben. Could you do that, Mindy? I'll just be I'll just be Kramer on whatever I say. I'll just be Newman on whatever I say. Oh goodness. Anyway, so enough about Mindy, enough that Mindy. Enough of that Mindy. Enough about losing. Enough about people who never got anywhere in life.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Well, if this is going nowhere, I'm having the best time at it. I'll tell you that much. Yes, we actually though, we are doing great things to be to be honest and we got a Chicago show coming up and I'm still honestly still in the joy hangover from last week's live show. I was like, I can't believe we had that show. That was absolutely amazing. So I'm thinking. Thank you. I've been doing this like avoidance of Snapchat thing because my niece and I are trying to make streaks, which is where you snapchat back and forth for like eight days in a row or something and then you went I don't know what you went. Oh no 30 days in a row
Starting point is 00:05:49 Um, I can't do it because that's what a terrible uncle. I am. I can't make it the longest we've made it is eight days Okay, this is since Christmas. This is pathetic of me and I know it's pathetic But the days all blended to one when you're just watching TV and then talking about TV and then watching TV and then taking that you know how I work But I just can't keep it together and so I've been avoiding snapchat because I'm like I'm a terrible uncle This is why everything sucks. I can't even be nice to a child. What is wrong with me? I'll tell you and I bet I know someone who who who has done the 30-day streak. Heyo. Mindy.
Starting point is 00:06:28 She does everything. She does everything. She's probably laughing in her car right now like you you are terrible. Get it together. First thing you do, 30-day streak. Second thing you do, own Hollywood. It's like that's the key to the door that I can't get open. But I finally went on to Snapchat today and I got, I had so many
Starting point is 00:06:52 Snapchat's from the night of the live show. People in that party bus that they rented. Okay, all those girls, I love you so much for sending me all those snaps. It's all these girls at, at pump first, having a a lovely dinner just like having girl power night Then they rented a party bus to come to the live show and it is full on Shaw's party bus It's like live inside like a party all these different colors and everyone's parting and blasting music and drinking champagne Fucking love that. I'm never gonna go more than a day without opening snapchat again loved it love yeah yeah same and same goes for our Instagram messages you know they're like a lot of messages don't come directly to our inbox and so
Starting point is 00:07:34 sometimes we forget to check them and I was looking last time I was like holy shit there were a lot of people who like mentioned us in their stories and the stories of it expires we missed it and so really I'm sorry everyone that we we We ignored by accident listen. What can we say we're motherfuckers? Bada pa ca Okay, speaking of motherfuckers. Let's get on with shots of sunset Yes So after a one week hiatus the show is back and it opens up with shervin
Starting point is 00:08:02 Wandering over to a cigar shop and somewhere in Hollywood. My concern in pretending they're not on the DL, like waiting for bloat jobs from Rando's while they're drunk. Like guys who try and act this manly, look, I don't even care who's gay, I can't even tell who's gay anymore. I would assume that someone who wears that much eyebrow makeup as gay, but what do I know? But then they're like, let's go to a cigar place, you know, and we'll have some scotchets of cars and talk like men. I'm like, what, you two are ridiculous. And especially Mike, he's like leaning back like, yeah, he's doing that Godfather pose that he's a bit- Yes. He's fooling. He's dressed like a burglar. I mean, listen, I don't think that
Starting point is 00:08:40 they are a DL, but the fact that they chose to hang out in a place filled with phallax symbols doesn't help the cause either. Yeah, they're like, let's go suck on a big, you know, cardboard dick while we talk about Manly thinks. It's not even the gayness. It's the over the attempt to overcome. Overcomment, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:01 When you're both ridiculous apes. Let's face it. Yeah. Okay. So the guy the guys like what kind of cigar Do like what is your breakfast? He's like Cubans like of course it is. That's all you know how to say you know your cigars At least get a taeamo so Sherman is like so they're sitting down and Sherman is still on his like Damage control tour and the wake of Terragate 2017. And he's like, yeah, he's like, you know, like Tara,
Starting point is 00:09:29 she, that girl's like 51, 50. Like, you know, all that happened was I picked up Tara, we went to dinner, we had some apps, we had some sex, I dropped her off and that was it. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? We, you said you had sex? No, no, what I'm saying is and that was it. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that? Wait, you said you had sex? No, no, what I'm saying is, like, she was upset. I went to pick her up.
Starting point is 00:09:50 She got in my car. She blew me on the way to the restaurant. We got drinks. We got apps. Then I had some anal. Then I took her home. Wait, wait, wait, what? Here's what happened.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Okay, I picked her up from the library. Then we went to Best Buy. We made a phone call from the phone booth. And went to this like park across town. Sure, Ville. Sure, Ville. Did you or did you not have sex with Tara? He's such an ass. and he went to his, he went back to his asshole excuse or a reasoning of why he didn't do it.
Starting point is 00:10:31 He's like, come on. She's not my type. We're like in a mecca of beauty, okay? In a town of Bentley's, why not got a Honda Civic? Come on. What are you a housewife? That is such a housewife line. In a town of Bentley's, why not got a hard to civic
Starting point is 00:10:47 Post post post hard post hard post Mike was already very uncomfortable by him saying it was the mecca of something like little man Well, I don't want to say it was like the Jerusalem because that makes me uncomfortable Don't make me put me think I my head.'s going to just slide off again dude that was embarrassing. Dude in a town full of hats, why would I put on a gun? So Mike of course is seeing his own lie behavior. But you know, is he protecting or not? Who cares? Because the editors make
Starting point is 00:11:23 the best montage of Mike lying about his affair. He's like, no, no, no, I didn't. Like, why in a town of party buses? Would I, you know, like write a bicycle, bro? The same exact thing. Yeah. He like literally does everything that Shervin's doing. And it was just like this big long montage of Mike Lang. It was amazing. And then Mike gets to do his favorite thing, which is act like because he said he was sorry for cheating and got dumped and started wearing eyebrow makeup, then now he knows things. Yeah. That makes me fucking crazy when people are like, I've made mistakes.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Let me tell you about, no, you don't get to teach people because you've made mistakes. You get to teach people when you've learned to like overcome those mistakes, dude. You cheated, you got dumped. Now you still single and pathetic and try to make baby shoes because your other shoes didn't work. Let's not pretend that you can write some fucking self-help book on like baby shoe empires and falling in love. Get married first.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Do something good first. Well, Mike likes playing the role of the wise old man. He loves giving patronizing advice. And the sad thing is actually sometimes his advice is pretty spot on, but it's kind of annoying that he's always doing it. You know, he's like, I'm like, why is man? Like what you have to do is you have to be good. You have to be good to your one woman.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Like you have to get the Honda Civic man because there's a more reliable cars. It's like, shut up, Mike. Yeah, and of course, there's advice that's reliable. It's like from a greeting card. It's from like a positive calendar, one positive thing a day. He's like, if you build on lies, you build them up, and then it's lies, and then it's blurred reality. And one day, the truth will ruin whatever internet pretend life you've built.
Starting point is 00:13:02 It's like, come on, Mike. You know what, man? It's like, it's like the the calendar says the real reason why the dinosaurs died is they were smoking like Mike You're looking at a far side calendar now. Oh He's like if you build on lies, you're always gonna be the sad fat girl with stringy hair. That's Kathy If you build that lies, you're just gonna be like one of those cars that drives by cows. And when you drive past, they stand up under feet again and talk like normal. You're back to far side, Mike. He's like, if you tell the truth, you'll be a dog on top of a flying doghouse.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Like, okay, okay, peanuts, okay, Mike, thanks. Thanks for coming. Also, the difference, Mike's montage of all the lies that he told, Mike, you were married. Okay, that's a huge, they're never gonna show clips of, you know, blow up doll Annalise from Australia who's probably spent a total of four days with serving,
Starting point is 00:13:57 like sobbing and crying that servant. You think that blow up dolling fucking people in Australia? What do you think she's blowing her face up for she's looking for the one? Okay. Yeah, I I agree. I I agree totally that's probably why the the producers have not made a bigger thing about this affair than it is because If if the stakes were higher, you know, they would have upgraded Tara to main cast member, et cetera, already. But they're just like, eh, it's Annalise, who really cares if she gets cheated on? And Sherman, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:31 So then we go to Gigi, who is now at Howard Fines, acting studio, because she's going to be performing in a play called Six Tips for Straight Women, of sorry, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a gay man, which am I remember? Am I remembering this correctly? Was that the same thing that Sonya was in?
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh God, was it? Okay, I'll go the internet. Because of course, like, why bother looking it up before the show. And how do you need acting class? You know, some of this stuff, it's like, why do you need acting classes? It's probably like the vagina monologues where you're reading out of a trapper keeper, the same shit that Judy read in her tour or the same thing that I don't know everybody been in that no offense to the I love you But it's probably one of those plays who's like I'm in a off Broadway play coming up called
Starting point is 00:15:19 And just Howard finds face because he's like one of those creepy looking acting teachers He's probably 80 but he has like the wig and the eyebrow penciling and all that stuff to be 60 and then he has that big smiley Botoxed like denture smile where it never moves he just looks like the creepy guy in a white van. It's true. Even by the way I just did. Yeah and I did look it up. Sony that was the play that Sonya was in. So clearly, this is a play that traffic's in reality stars that way they can get mentions on Bravo. And look what's happened.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Now we're talking about it on, on our podcasts. Well, hopefully anyone who has enough taste to listen to this show, this classy show would know to skip such a steep and fucking show. Broadway, this is what happened to you. What happened to the days of puppetry of the penis? What about stomp? Oh My god, that was so good. Stop was good. That was amazing. I met two I met two people from stomp recently and I was fascinated by them Yeah, I was like oh, sorry, dude? I was like, how does it work? I asked them so many questions. They were like, okay,
Starting point is 00:16:28 they're like bang, bang, bang, bye. Yeah, they like bang on things. Isn't that the one where they're swinging from ropes and bouncing from the ceiling and all that shit? I think so. I saw all of those. I saw all of those huge like, we're like a tap dance show, but it's like street tapping
Starting point is 00:16:46 You know, I remember seeing it in ninth grade and I was like wow, but I actually didn't love it to be honest I felt like after a while it was sort of the same old thing like I was like I felt like I needed more of an arc And you know, I was like the swinging rope thing that wasn't that was just like hardcore Oh, that was Was that the because remember there was also that like famous thing in New York City Maybe in like late 90s or a little 2000s where it was like these you would be in a room and the people would swing on ropes like down like in the ceiling Yeah, they were like bungees that they it was called like so I don't have like a Spanish name Yeah, that one was cool too. I was just gonna say if it was that one you don't want Bravo star is like swinging swinging from ropes you know it's like too soon. Okay I was gonna say I would love Gigi and
Starting point is 00:17:30 stop because she would make it somehow into like a personal dramatic thing like and I supposed to bang the drum like how often do I bang the drum like these are things no one's telling me what to do I feel alone I feel alone in the stop I'm banging and no one's hearing me Or she would get so over dramatic that it would be like a really badly named sequel like stop beer This lady is stopping so hard. We've never seen someone stop this hard We've never seen someone stop this hard. It's like, Gigi is trying to go over the lines with Howard Fine. She's not hearing what he's saying,
Starting point is 00:18:12 and we learned that she has some hearing issues that she's had since she was a kid. She hears pictures differently. But nevertheless, she perseveres, and she is doing this scene, and he's doing all this stuff like don't forget your nerves Use your nerves and it's basically her saying over and over again. Hello. My name is Robin Brown Hello, my name is Robin Brown. Hello. My name is Robin Brown. I'm here to teach but I forgot my book
Starting point is 00:18:38 I just asked me says it because she's supposed to be the leader of some you know sex talk or whatever and she's like supposed to be the leader of some you know sex talk or whatever and she's like hello my name is Robin Brown and I'm here to talk about this is why are you talking like that she's like whisper talking this ain't film honey but Howard just like smiles creepily at her like Van Van Lollipop Van ice cream ice cream later manager you selling Lollipops her star ice cream sir get in get in you reminded me of like a Mike Myers character I think that's well I think that's what Mike Myers next character should be like drop this weird gong show thing he's doing this summer do an acting teacher because I would be down for that yeah how would fine he's like did you find it
Starting point is 00:19:22 okay I'm how would fine can you remember remember that? It's on the outside too. It's like, okay Howard, we take you seriously sir. So then we go to a fertility practice because what would Shah's sons at B if we didn't have like a visit to a doctor every third scene, right? So here we are at the doctor's office and Resa and Adam are walking in
Starting point is 00:19:44 and Resa's like, I had problems coming in my cup. I wasn't sure if my penis was in the cup or if it was out of the cup. Like, bitch be like, where's the brim? Filled to the rim with brim. My dick couldn't even fit in the cup. I'm like, I'm sure your dick couldn't fit in the cup. Resa, come on now. So the front desk, she's like, hi! So Adam is like, thank so much for coming here and doing the deposit. How long do they take you? He's like, it took me a really long time. Okay, here's what happened. Adam decided to come to the place to get a dispermed deposit. And then I decided to come to the place to give a dispermed deposit and then I decided to come to the place to
Starting point is 00:20:26 give a sperm deposit. We both came here and then we separated and then we shot a load, he shot a load and then I shot a load and now we're here again to see who's swimming. If it has a gold chain and a member's only jacket, it's my
Starting point is 00:20:42 sperm. It's like okay. There's a God, it's like a book on tape. Like we get it. You came in cups. My sperm beat up his sperm in the cup. Now his sperm's all dead. I win. My sperm's swimming a chevron pattern. So Dr. Ringler, who by the way, looks exactly like Michael from Potomac, he's giving the sperm results.
Starting point is 00:21:08 So Reza has a plus sperm. They also have some great, they look great. They're doing wonderful things with life. They can use a real safe practice. Yeah, yeah, totally. Their picture is on a bus bench. They're on my sashes. They're already starting to shoot with other sperm. Hey, sperm. I heard that that sperm was talking really bad. What do you think about that, egg? This firms are beating up the egg. We've never seen this before. They're dismantling each egg one by one. And now the sperms are crying. It's so weird. I've never thought I'd get to be with the egg. So, uh, this firms like, uh, or the doctor's like, the, your sperm's doing great. It could use a back wax, but otherwise.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Your sperm, we don't understand why your sperm seems to have a broach on it, but okay. So, but Adam sperm is not as good. It's, um, some of them are mischaping and Adam's like, oh, he's like, well, to be fair the day before I did mine and I was like, oh, he's like, well, to be fair, the day before I did mine, I was walking in the heat wearing jeans. So my testicles were a little warm. And I was like, okay, Adam.
Starting point is 00:22:14 He's like, it's true. I was mulled by a cat, but this time it was a real cat. Your sperms are twisted because you had your ankles behind your head for like three hours, okay? That's why he's like you try and live through it not have miss shape and the firearms like we get You're about to your sperm doesn't count. Okay, you know, Reza's sperm is gonna win out anyway You know even if your sperm happen to win Reza would make MJ sneak in there and Get rid of the evidence to just put his sperm in there. He is not going to be
Starting point is 00:22:45 raising some ginger baby. Let's not let's not fool ourselves. No, he doesn't want a tame gay baby. Not at all. He doesn't even want a baby because now they're like, okay, let's talk about egg donors and others are like, whoa, this is like too much. Like bitch, be like, ovulating too soon for me. If they do this with MJ, I swear to God, I'm going to lose my life. I will give my life up. Is that too much of a promise? Well, she would never give up. She would, like, you know, so it's to do a call back to flipping out when they had the
Starting point is 00:23:17 baby episode. One thing I was sort of struck by is that when they delivered the baby, they immediately like snipped the baby and gave it to Jeff engage. And then they cut to the surrogate just saying they're like, hmm, you know, I don't see that happening with MJ. You know, you take that baby out of MJ if she's a surrogate and she is like, well, I guess what you were saying, Agdonor,
Starting point is 00:23:37 but I'm already thinking surrogate. I don't see her letting that baby go. She just, you know, I was thinking surrogate, yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's, I think I could see that being a lifetime movie right there. Well, that would be the kind of, you know, gay, that would be like the new kind of way to raise a baby. Like you get them one week, he gets them the other week blah, blah, blah. I think Resa wouldn't do it with the mom still alive, but I think MJ would do it because she'd be like, dude, this
Starting point is 00:24:02 ties me to Resa forever. And he can never really like betray me again, because I'd be like, dude, this ties me to Reza forever. And he can never really like betray me again, because I'll be the mother of his child or whatever, but I don't think, I would hope that Reza's smarter than that, but I think Reza would say, like, oh no, this ties me to Vita for the rest of my life. Yeah, that's what I mean. He wouldn't do it until Vita dies.
Starting point is 00:24:23 So speaking of which, we then cut to Tommy and MJ walking the dogs in a park. And Tommy's doing like, Doc calls, he's what I mean. He wouldn't do it until Vita dies. So speaking of which we then cut to Tommy and MJ Walking the dogs in a park and Tommy's doing like duck calls. He's like He was like surprisingly very accurate He really has duck voice, you know something you know what they saw people have duck lips. He has actual duck voice Yeah, he does and I like that he just kind of happy go luckily and stupidly goes along wherever she's like look It's a park and he's like park and she's like look it's a park and he's like park she's like look it's ducks and he's like like like look it's a turtle he's like okay Tommy like you don't have to like be everything that she's pointing at. She is he's truly one of those baby toys where you pull the string and it does the voice
Starting point is 00:24:58 of whatever animal is in that wedge of the circle. I did like that when MJ said, look, it's an aquatic turtle. I think they're all aquatic. An aquatic turtle. That's right, some turtle shade for me. You're welcome. But also it gets like, it's all, it's gonna be a whole episode.
Starting point is 00:25:19 You're gonna be like, wait a minute. It's gonna be like, aquatic turtle in Oklahoma. You're gonna be like, wait a second, Mindy. You stole from me. She's so talented. It's also MJ just dropping some knowledge. She's like, I may seem like a stupid slut, but I know what an aquatic turtle is. I'm so kind of like, so Tommy's like, Hey, nice. Yeah, it spot. It's a park Tommy. It's a park bench. So MJ, guess what? She wants a baby and she wants it now. And now she's talking about Asa's big lie about defrosting embryo, which to me, this
Starting point is 00:25:56 is so blown out of proportion. I get why MJ is annoyed if she felt like, oh, she was talking about this process with Asa and then Asa was acting like she was totally far into it when she wasn't like, I get that. That's annoying. And it's like fake. But MJ is truly acting like Asa has pulled off the biggest con and the history of cons. Like, so what? So what? Who cares? She had a bitch. She like, she thought out an embryo and stuck it up to her badge. Okay, she did it. Okay, I'm talking like Bethany now. Yeah. She's a bad. She's true. Like, she did it. Okay, I'm talking like Bethany now. Yeah, she's a match. But it's true. Like she's real and she tells them, um, I didn't tell you this. Yeah, I'm
Starting point is 00:26:30 sure MJ. I'm sure you you brought Tommy all the way to the park in front of an aquatic turtle to tell him this huge news. But she's like, I didn't tell you this, but also in Israel, lie to me over and over again, by omission. Yeah. Okay. She goes, MJ Israel, lie to me over and over again, bio mission. Yeah, okay. She goes, MJ says, I feel jipped of my entire friendship, by the way, as we know, jipped is not politically correct to say,
Starting point is 00:26:52 but also like, okay, so also was shady about that. I don't deny that. I do think MJ has a right to be annoyed about that specific thing about, you know, here she's just talking about this, the fertilization, going for fertility doctor, et cetera. But the entire friendship was a lie. Come on now MJ, just relax. If she lied about freezing embryos, what else did she lie about? Everything, everything's a lie now. I'm just imagining MJ walking on the first and through dial and suddenly having
Starting point is 00:27:25 this revelation. It's like, wait a second, assessor of me macaroni. And she served me peas. I bet they came from this aisle. It's all lies. And even Tommy knows like Tommy's ability to see the truth and just say the truth, even if MJ MJ never listens because she's like she's a bad friend What else did she lie about and he goes if she doesn't reciprocate being friends There's no reason to be friends in other words even he knows you've been dumped I'm like stop making it like you found out some huge secret now. You're not gonna be friends with Asa I also don't like you she dumped you a long time ago. It's like breaking up with someone six months after they broke up with you You're already dumped MJ. Okay. Yeah, I'm done to barren. So move along
Starting point is 00:28:12 Well, the thing is this I think MJ would have a stronger case if she stuck to what she says later in the episode Which is you know what I think I saw this full of shit and I'm sick of supporting it that makes sense I get that but the like her whole life is a lie She lied about the embryos and now she's saying she did Like also before you knew any of that you called her baby a bastard over and over in front of her face and everybody Then you were a total bitch to her about it. So Yeah, and honestly I'm not I'm not mad at Asa for saying, yeah, I don't
Starting point is 00:28:47 trust you because MJ, while we love MJ and we're thoroughly entertained by her, she has proven herself to be a shady, shady person. Well, all of them have their shitty friends on the show. That's what always makes me crazy on this show. And even Resa, and we said this last year, it's Asa's turn to get the Reset treatment where he just fucks you over. Completely betrays you for no reason. She's the only one who hasn't gotten it in the long term cast. And we're like, how in the world is he going to do it? And then this year when it started with her pregnant, I was like, well, he can't do it now. I remember
Starting point is 00:29:21 thinking, well, now her betrayals going to have to wait a year and also she really doesn't give him that much. She's printing eyes, I think. But he still did it. You've got to be impressed with that guy. Yeah, you do. I mean, don't forget though, Asa was on the bottom of the Totem pole season one. That was the whole thing. They were all like, she wears clothing from H&M. Yeah. Season one of Shaws was actually pretty amazing. It was pretty great. It was kind of before they teetered into totally awful behavior.
Starting point is 00:29:51 They were just kind of ridiculous. But I mean, the show is still hilarious. So we then go over to Asa. And she's showing her mom, the video draft of her little, she's making her thing, her video of her meeting with the spiritual leaders in Israel and she's showing her mom and she, Anasa's telling either her mom or us, she's saying, how she wished her friends had had an enriching experience
Starting point is 00:30:15 the way she did with those leaders. I'm like, well, how about next time you invite your friends to meet the three spiritual leaders instead of like letting them loose in the market and then letting them get freaked out over toy guns Yeah, she's so she's like look at my rich experience mom and he's like Three Jews walked into him. It's like the jokeiest like musical theater thing that she set up It's like I still think those are homeless guys just Pretend I know but to be fair. This is where ossa is really just becoming so
Starting point is 00:30:43 So ridiculous because she's saying, she says, you know, they, babe, they just, they have not been able to elevate to that level of spiritual awareness. And that's the problem. Oh, awesome. You're living in the Venice house that some rich dude bought you a long time ago with, like, you don't have to work. You get money handed to you for basically doing nothing. And you get to live a dream life for you, just like, okay, I want to put tons of money towards this and shit, which you don't even work for. And you keep saying elevating. Stop acting like you creatively visualized everything around you. Please. Yeah. Yes. Makes me. So, so now, Asa, they set up a camera because she's going to record
Starting point is 00:31:20 an introduction for her movie. And so she, up the camera and this is how she introduced it. Hi, I'm Asa Sotan. I'm seven and a half months pregnant. It's time to coax this piecefully. Oh my God. Pregnancy break. I'm not gonna accept the baby wants a snack. The baby wants a snack.
Starting point is 00:31:40 The baby is elevated. The baby is elevated. I feel it. Okay, it's done meditating. Baby says that's a wrap. Oh, baby, that's a mic. Baby says we're rolling. We're rolling.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia,
Starting point is 00:32:15 and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll
Starting point is 00:32:36 feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. You see even we're talking on us, like her faux spirituality has always been fucking a boxish, but I think all says nice like what's the deal with taking a handy cam to Israel and seeing how other people do it, even if you're hiring them off of Jerusalem dot Craigslist dot com like Still, you know she's making an effort to do something nice
Starting point is 00:33:11 At least she's not accusing three year olds of like learning terrorism from plastic guns off the key Oscar in the street I think os is I actually think os is very nice. I feel like I can actually see myself Like getting along with her or like I have a certain group of friends where I can imagine meeting up with them for like a dinner party in Asa's there and like I wouldn't I would be like this woman's kind of crazy but she seems nice and I do actually think that Asa I do think she cares about people but she's full of it too like you can still think someone's nice and that they're full of it. That's totally fine.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Well, yeah, I mean, look, if she's takes more than five minutes to ever think about human nature or shitty behavior, of course, she's gonna cut these people off emotionally because those are toxic people. Like, what are you gonna do, you know? Yeah, you almost have to respect her for what she's did, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I like how we're really all over the map with Asa today. We're just like, well, just feel all the fear that's what hippie bullshit always makes me crazy because it always seems to be extremely rich. Like people who don't have to do anything that are talking like Jim Carrey did this thing this weekend. The headline was Jim Carrey speaks out about material or speaks out against materialism from the New York Fashion Week I'm like read this headline. Please like this is the most hilarious headline I've ever heard Against anti-materialism from New York Fashion Week. It's like of course Jim Kerry can say fuck materialism Yeah, as he's sitting there, well, well, my love walked down the runway with the other one and the other one, you know, yes, yes, it's like you didn't get somewhere because you're mentally advanced. Jim
Starting point is 00:34:53 Kerry, okay. I think he is mentally advanced. I am a huge Jim Kerry fan and I think he is a comic genius, but that's for another episode. So speaking of people who may not be mentally advanced, we now go to Mike at a photo shoot for his baby shoes. And he's like, all right, I want it to be like a Benetan ad. I want it to be like United Colors of babies. It's like, okay, you know, Benetan's been over for a long time, right? It's like like 30 years. Yeah. 30.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Like I wanted to be like units. You could put one baby on another baby and it makes a skirt, you know It's like stop coming up the stores from the 80s, okay So I want a baby on a stick okay, so Mike Mike is basic He's talking to this photographer who I think he got for $5 because the photographer was literally putting plain blankets on the floor For babies to crawl around on everything without a focus like you look terrible but Mike's giving him direction he's like basically we're gonna have a huge online presence this is gonna be on Facebook Instagram Wow
Starting point is 00:35:58 almost as big as us you're practically Vogue. He's like, time to show the world what true gold baby shoes are, how going to be about my poorly exposed photos. So he is walk. There's tons of babies here. Yeah, because in LA, if you don't make it, you have a baby and then try and make them make it, you know Yeah, which is why Ben and I are getting pregnancy I know it's called the story of Kim Kyle and Kathy
Starting point is 00:36:34 We're finding our booth at the polo labs Exactly so there's no there babies crawling around everywhere and then I love that Mike's mom walks in like a sheriff She walks in she got jeans on and a shirt tucked in sunglasses and she's like, howdy. Howdy golden dole. Howdy June. What's going on? I'm here to make sure you're not totally fucking up.
Starting point is 00:37:02 And she walks in like, she's not really sure what's going on, but she suspects she's finally gonna get Mike to buy a baby. You know, it's like the happiest she's ever looked. She's like, finally I get to help him pick it out. It's like no, they're here for shoes. Oh God, you're still doing that? Yeah, I think this woman has the patience of a saint or our Jewish equivalent of that because
Starting point is 00:37:25 she, you know, she seems like a pretty smart woman and she seems like someone who has like a taste level and she has to sit here and watch her son make mistake after mistake and she's like, other son, he's dentist, what is wrong with you? Now with babies and shoes? All right, I'm gonna stand there. I'm just going over see. So it's like the other shoes, but tiny. He's like, yes. I like this one. But she does say this is a good one. Here's my thing with his mom. Why is she so picky about everything that Jessica did? She's like, she must go through school. Renounce Jesus, be almost drowned on a beach by rabbi. And like, there's like this whole list of shit that Jessica had to go through for her approval. Mike doesn't even have to keep a job in real estate
Starting point is 00:38:09 for more than two years. Like if she was that picky with her own son, if she is around everybody else surrounding her son, we might be somewhere. Yeah, well, I think that's true. I mean, I think that she was that tough on on Jessica because she also saw that Jessica was kind of like trash. I'm going to say, fine. Yeah, if you're going to come into this family, you're going to work for it. And, you know, I think that, I think here's the thing, she's probably giving up on Mike. She's like, okay, the future is in the babies, all right. So, you know, if you're going to be bringing the future in, we can't rely on Mike to be the role model. You have You have to be the role model Jessica so you have to be the happy lifting. I'm sorry Yes, and you've given yourself a face of like a cartoon whale. We can we can't continue
Starting point is 00:38:53 But I thought this was interesting because Mike was talking about how he's a mom and boy shocker We all know but he really is because in the beginning he's looking at all these babies like oh fuck He's like what do you do with it how do you do this and then the minute she walks in he's like holding babies like oh look at the baby it's like you don't like those babies you're about to throw one across the room before your mom got in here I saw you. Yeah. So I'm feeling a little restless I feel like what the show really needs is to go back to the doctor's office and sure enough it's Gigi at the doctor Okay, what is it this year Gigi? Okay, we know now it's hearing loss last year it was the Sarcoma of the the
Starting point is 00:39:36 Finger right us. What was it before? It's it's anger management. It's It's R.A. It's always something. So but this time so she shows up her she and her mom show up at this doctor's office for Dr. Sweet and Dr. Sweet time for like a GG's hearing to ask you okay I'm gonna play some sound I'm like are you even a real doctor okay you're an audiologist just kidding that's a that was a marriage medicine Houston callback last year that was a little shout out to Ellie this reminded me of being a kid and lying about needing glasses and I went
Starting point is 00:40:22 to the eye doctor and I was like, nope, can't see it. Can't see it. That ease of be. Nope, it's like the biggest letter on there. I'm like, can't see it. I got Coke bottle glasses and then really needed glasses a few years later because I was faking it. You see, it's like an intense.
Starting point is 00:40:36 He's right down all these stories. Right down all these fucking these stories. And that's a true story. No one tell my mother, please, because I still haven't admitted it, even though she secretly known the whole time So GG that and this reminds me of that because GG's like yeah, they're like cake and she's like cake forest shower
Starting point is 00:41:00 No, Gigi, you know, she didn't just say shower. Come on. Yeah, I was getting a little vibe of that also But I liked how Gigi turned this hearing test into some sort of personal journey because she's like, you know Everyone is trying to improve me, but this is the first time that I'm trying to improve myself. I'm like You're taking a hearing test. Okay, you can't hear things. This is not like a triumph of the will and yes I will make a Nazi reference with you Gigi. I will So coming out with a line of plastic clip on hair isn't trying to improve yourself. Then I just don't know what is, ma'am. So anyway, the lady is like, yeah, you have hearing problems. I mean, I'm going to give you a hearing aid.
Starting point is 00:41:36 You just say, yeah. So now we go to Asa's events, which actually, by the way, I actually really liked the layout of this like garden space. It was way too big though considering that about 40 people came they had like a whole outdoor space with like two bars and all these tables but what is with the intercontinental hotel that's the only place they go to on this show is it a place that MJ just like tried to fuck Tommy in a couple weeks ago? Tommy in a couple weeks ago. Oh, I think you're right. That's got some weird deal with their
Starting point is 00:42:07 just. Bring up the euro trash like they look through all of Bravo's catalog and we're like these. These are our people. Well, leave it to the Shah's of sunset to find excitement in Century City. You know, so they do have a good
Starting point is 00:42:25 routes and they have that's where Tom click your restaurant is which we have to go to oh god this to you here the street super outside because we sent you to a continental it's like time to
Starting point is 00:42:40 take out the trash I'm getting I'm getting flash back to when I was streaks wept to weeks of when I was street swept to weeks ago When I was walking the street the street super came up to me and just like yeah, they like drove up alongside me I was like I became like tamgay like reacting to Gigi's claws like I think I even yelled at the street super Gigi I pay my taxes Gigi How dare you you're sweeping dust on to me, Gigi. So, anyway, Asa's event and Asa is,
Starting point is 00:43:10 she's walking around and she's like, I'm inherently political, I'm a refugee and my art is about peace. Okay, great. What a really like bravado statement. You may call, some people say she's a political artist, babe. Some people say she's a photojournalist, babe. Some people say she's like a scientist, babe. I'm a refugee. You are none of those things. Stop it. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's artist Aline. Maybe it's refugee Aline. Maybe it's called by a lean.
Starting point is 00:43:46 So Refugee by lean too. So, um, and like, uh, fun cameo news, Paris Jackson showed up. So that was cool. She was giving me some Laura Palmer vibes. I think it's because my brain is fully in Twin Peaks mode. Like I have been reading Twin Peaks fan theories for the past week and I cannot get enough of them. I'm like fully obsessed. I'm I'm like, I can't stop.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Was it good? Was the end of twin? I'm sorry, I don't want to derail, but was it. No, no, it made it was totally confounding. And I'm not going to give any spoilers with anything, but it was confounding, it was puzzling. It left you being like, what? And yet the strange, like, after effect was like, that was amazing. I just, I absolutely loved this Twin Peaks.
Starting point is 00:44:38 It was so strange, it was so out there, but you felt like you were watching a really complete vision by someone, like an artist. And like a real artist, not an Ossosal tab, but like David Lynch and Mark Frost had a vision that was inherently political bid. And it often made no sense. And sometimes it could be tedious.
Starting point is 00:44:59 And sometimes it was like exciting. But it's more about like you watch it and you're like, huh, and then you go, you read analysis online. And when you read the analysis, you're like, I don't know if this analysis is true or not, what they're actually thinking, but if it was holy fucking shit, it's like amazing. So I think the best TV you have to read comment threads for, because I don't understand anything. Like if it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't even know what was happening on game of throws, but I'd still watch it
Starting point is 00:45:27 Which which episode are you up to on Twin Peaks the return because I know you would you'd solve that I think like four and I used to love Twin Peaks. It's just you like weird. It's weird. It's so weird Yeah, I think I just had enough of that as a kid because in the end it was just like it's a ghost from there It's a spirit and get coming from this other place with weird rules and I don't know But I'll get into it because I always think that about shows then I've been to watch them and love them Yeah, I mean, it's um, it's a weird it's I think the thing that while was hard in the beginning the season is that It is a departure from what the original series was and like I think a lot of us were hoping that the show was going
Starting point is 00:46:08 to take place largely in Twin Peaks and it's going to be about sort of like another crime and there's going to be that sense of like lots of characters intertwined and this one is a big sprawling thing that's across the country and it's and they're all these threads and some of them sort of don't have a resolution and some of them do and It just sort of has a growing effect because then as things start to fall into place like every time something falls into place It's like thrilling because You're so lost for so much of it and then all of a sudden when things start to make sense you're like oh my god So I'm excited for you to watch it and I especially can't wait to hear what you say
Starting point is 00:46:45 about episode eight because that was, I've never seen anything like that on TV ever before. Yeah, well, I'll watch that one day for sure. In the meantime, I wrote the meantime, that Paris Jackson is Laura Palmer and Heidi Montagg squished into one. That's so crazy. We both got a Laura Palmer thing out of her, right?
Starting point is 00:47:03 Yeah, but there's like something like the way she moves is kind of high, I mean, classic Heidi Montag, not this one. She was actually, if I may, do another Twin Peaks indulgence, she's a little bit of like Laura Palmer and Audrey Horn mixed up together. That's what I was getting.
Starting point is 00:47:19 I miss Audrey Horn. I loved her, boxing Helena. Oh, okay. So back to this party at a Marriott. So awesome. Yeah, so awesome Then tells us that she never complains and then the producers the producers have been really hilarious about Also the season because then they give a full montage of awesome complaining about everything my back babe Oh, man pregnancy bib pregnancy Brain bib pregnancy bib. Oh my ankles babe. Oh my butt babe
Starting point is 00:47:43 And I like that they kept showing all the clips of her saying like, I'm like a thug. I don't, I don't complain, babe, like I'm like a thug. I don't need a lot. Then she's like, Oh my God, how was I shot in the back? It feels like it with this baby. And then she's like, you know, it's just like my friends, like, they just need to be more loving to me. Like I feel sort of alone. Is there like not loving and they cut a destiny being like, you look so beautiful. What can we do? Can we help? Can we do anything for you? They just keep cutting back and forth and she's like, oh, my fat is popping.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Check. No, that's what you see in yourself, but that's not what you're giving, girl. She's like, I need better friends. So then we go to MJ getting ready for the night and she's duct taping her boobs into her dress and time is like, otherwise he's somebody boobs MJ. I don't know what my body, I mean, I don't know what my voice is for him. I feel like last season I had a really good voice room
Starting point is 00:48:38 and now I'm just like fully spastic. He's like, hey babe, I don't know where my belt's all or my pocket squares. So, I have an answer for you. I have an answer for you. You never had them in the first place. Also, various wind peaks. That is so cool.
Starting point is 00:48:59 He's like, hey, you got to cover those things up, huh? She's like, but I taped them down. He's like, look, you're booms of fantastic, but I don't need everyone else to see too. Look, you can't marry your tree and then ask it to be a goldfish. Okay? You know, get just like you married MJ. You're stuck with MJ. Welcome. Yeah. The rest of your life, you know, closing down the hometown buffet in bikini tops. Okay. That's what you meant. So Reza comes over and he's looking around and he's like, this bitch is still living in squalor. Like, that's not so Persian.
Starting point is 00:49:33 A Persian person gives a clean. A white person lives in squalor. This is probably Tommy's fault. Bitch be like, I'm not picking up my stuff. But apparently there was like no sink in the bathroom Well, when the MJ not lived in squalor we never saw that place because the last place we saw was close everywhere Trash everywhere and dog poop everywhere. So how is this different? It the other one was on a different floor Okay, yeah, the only difference
Starting point is 00:49:59 Resa if you're a real friend you just called taskrab and get it done with okay Stop pick it on her. He's such an ass. He's like, who should I attack? MJ for living in Squalor and having a dying father? Or us for making a baby? Yeah. So speaking of which we go back to Asa's event and she's talking about her back that and
Starting point is 00:50:21 Shervin shows up and he starts talking to Gigi to do more damage control and he's like, I kind of feel like you were playing both sides of the street. I'm like, not an expression, but sure. And so they're just like talking to him into an interesting game of poor people hockey. She's like, I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. Yeah, your plague both sides of the street. She's like, um, oh, Gigi, she's like, I just don't want to know about it. Okay. Like, it's hard for me to even hear it in the first place. And then once I hear it, like, I'm so excited to hear it that I tell people.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Okay. Just stop telling me. By the way, a real good way for Gigi to undermine her own credibility is to have an entire storyline about how she can't hear things correctly. I mean, if you can't understand the word, like doorbell, it's very possible. You actually literally misheard Shervin speaking. He's like, well, I picked her up and went to ice cream and she just hears, so they went and they fucked at a 7-11. She's like, wait a minute, Park,
Starting point is 00:51:35 she's finally hearing things from the original hearing test. They got embedded in her here. Okay, now here's where I'm a sexist asshole They got him bedded in here. Okay. This now, okay. Here's where here's where I'm a sexist asshole because every and I didn't realize it until these bravo shows. Every time the guy insists that they didn't do it, I always believe the guy. That is so fucked up because again and again, they're wrong. Jackson entire season one.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I was like, he obviously this is being made up. Jacks would not fuck Kristen. Okay, that would not happen. I don't believe that Jackson Kristen did. I thought that was some weird rumored, like something that Katie threw out there to get the heat off of her. That season, like Mike and Jessica. Yeah, I believed it. But he was denying it so much. I thought, well, maybe it was just like a little kissing or something like that. It wasn't that big of a deal. Like, I believe it because these guys really do lie so vehemently. And servant is doing the same thing. And you
Starting point is 00:52:30 know he's lying. Of course, he has sex with him. But the other part of me is like, why would he just say, it's so weird. Does he not want to be sued by the husband? Like, I don't get it. It's not for on a lease. Yeah. And I don't think that Tara has anything to gain from this. If she's lying. She has nothing to gain from the lie But but he has motivation to lie so it lines up to me. I mean, I think it's like pretty obvious that Sherman had sex with Tara He did something. Yeah, it me too. I'm just but when he says things like Well, Gigi has a history of fabricating things. And she takes, she takes me saying, I, what I went out with Tara, or I met up with Tara into being hooked up with Tara.
Starting point is 00:53:13 And that's not the same thing. It was apps. We didn't even have on. We, we, we had to know Tara, Tara. I mean, that barely counts as anything first-space. So then we go back to MJ's place where MJ is still getting ready. And she's once again talking about the embryos, and she's talking about her doctor, and she's wondering if Asa was seeing the same doctor, doctor, what's his face, gold, or something
Starting point is 00:53:42 like that. And Reza, so like, see, Riza's a fucker. So he, I forget exactly the language they were using, but. Like she was saying, speaking of eggs, which I don't know why they were, it was probably like on the catering menu or whatever. But she's like speaking about eggs,
Starting point is 00:54:00 you know, we talked about frozen eggs and in vitro, which means like they're gonna put sperm in me or like inject it. Watch this put a goner lipstick. I'm just like, no! Those are eggs that he inseminates and then he watches them grow and then once they grow, he pokes at them and then he sees which ones can fight better. And the weak ones like Adam, he smashes with the pencil eraser. And the ones that are strong, like me, with little octopus cold things on their colors, he lets grow. And then, once they're big enough, then they put them inside of you.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Come on! Yes. Yeah, because you say, like, how do you not know this stuff? But somehow they're talking about this doctor. And I think it's that MJ suspecting that Austin has been going the same doctor. And Resa says something like, well, if I were going to Dr. Goldio,
Starting point is 00:54:53 so he says something like that, that somehow in MJ's mind that was like a tell, it was a slip up. And it was so obvious, Reza. Yeah, Reza was like, yeah, he was, it was, to me, I actually didn't think that was a tell. I thought he was being theoretically, but then seeing that it was supposed to be a tell. It was very, I mean, he literally said like, if I were saying Dr. Goldie, I mean, if I were seeing another doctor, I'm like, you love, like, Resa's blatant shit stirring.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Yes. And MJ's like, oh my God, that con man, or did I say MJ? MJ is like that con man, Sarletan. She, I took her to that doctor. I shared that info with her. That is not cool. Look, you fuckers got that doctor
Starting point is 00:55:42 because it was some free Instagram exchange. He was your high school friend, right? Didn't they all go to high school with him? He's been around for like five years on this show. But you know, everybody they see on this show is like, okay, we'll give you Botox a few trade-as for a few Instagram posts or, you know, hotel intercontinental like case closed. So it's not like you get diss. MJ, you know. closed. So it's not like you get this MJ, you know, you don't get good. And also who cares? It's a doctor like no one cares. It's like when you go to the same Wendy's, what did she steal your idea? No. She wanted a square hamburger. Okay. So now, Reza and MJ are now
Starting point is 00:56:21 having this ridiculous epiphanies. And Reza is like, ever since Asa told me she was pregnant, something has not been sitting right with me. I'm like, you know what's been not sitting right with you is the realization that you haven't turned on in your yet. On her yet. So that's what's not sitting right with you. And then MJ is like, I just feel shell shocked. I feel like there's like a deep level of deceit.
Starting point is 00:56:42 I'm like, you guys both have to just like cool your jets right now. Okay, like this is so insignificant. I love that, I love that Auntie was saying. She was asking me a million questions and I gave her answers. I was like, you still don't even know how it works. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:56:59 Like you don't want to know what insemination is. You don't know what a frozen egg does. You're an idiot. You gave her no information. Okay. I think Asa wasn't like looking for information. She was just trying to understand how much you do because you probably was like, so babe, you know what happens when the sperm meets the egg. She's like, yeah, you know, you catch it out and then you got a fork and a knife and then like it's time for dinner. It's like, well, babe, no, babe, an egg. The egg gets round. You know, it has a little thing in the middle. It's like, well, babe, no, babe, an egg. Like the egg gets round.
Starting point is 00:57:25 You know, it has a little thing in the middle. She's like, yeah, you get it. Tortilla and throw some cheese on it. And you eat that shit up. What do you want in instruction, guide? So meanwhile, over at the Intercontinental, Asa is in full bullshit mode. She's talking to some people.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Like, look, I guess like some guests that don't know each other. And she's like, yeah, you guys have a very similar energy babes like yeah I can see you guys being friends They're like I'm the cater waiter. I'm paid to be here. I see big things for you Look there it is a chaffer dish. I knew it Also mta ended that scene by going what could be a bigger fuck you in life? Like maybe saying fuck you and your bastard baby, Empty. Yeah, that could be a bigger fuck you.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Maybe someone cheating on you with Tommy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, Resa is still like, whoops. He's there. I'd like to cut out of the bag. Raza is still like whoops I let you cut out of the bag and then he watched another party and he's like I didn't know it was going to be such a celebration This is deathcon. I don't know what the fuck girl friend white girl So he's basically letting us know whoa. I didn't know this was was going to be so special for Asa that I was going to ruin her whole fucking movie premiere by sticking drunk MJ after her.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Of course, he knew he's a terrible human being. So everyone's there and then Mike shows up and he's like, he had no idea what this event was or he just brought gifts. So he got her of course some baby shoes, some true gold baby shoes. And of course, Asa takes them out and like puts one like right on her tummy and she's like, his feet are right here. So like babe, this is like it's pretend like his foot is in the shoe right now. I'm like, I understand you're letting a baby join. Oh my god, it looks just like MJ. She stole that from you too, MJ. She stole that from you too MJ. And then MJ just starts like rummaging through the gift and everyone's like it's mad at MJ and I said like babe you want to go over there and just like hang out with the gift
Starting point is 00:59:34 is that what you want to do babe? I even Tommy's like you brad. Stop it you brad. So go over at the buffet. Tommy's just one one less thing. Then while while MJ was doing that then Resa suddenly goes wow he's like I feel bad because I just sort of like dumped all this shit on MJ I know she's reacting like oops. I'm like yes like you feel bad that you you dumped all the you
Starting point is 00:59:58 New exactly what you were doing. Oh yeah when Asa is talk she's telling some friends like oh yes, you know like am I photojournalist? No, am I the greatest artist ever? No, I'm a refugee like she started going into her speech for like rando guests And they just show MJ and Resa Circling her sipping their drinks like they do where they're just like getting wasted enough to say okay We'll wait for the, you know, the people from the coldest act to walk away. Till we yell at you. Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:29 So over at the buffet, Tommy is just shoving everything down with his hands. He's eating with his hands right off the buffet because Tommy, you know, he's like, Yes. Black, black. Black girl. And that's the reason this is a tongue.
Starting point is 01:00:42 And he's like, wow, you're sophisticated. Yeah, yeah, he made juji looks sophisticated because she was I think there with like pulling it off with the with tongues like If you make juji look classy something's wrong Tommy. Yeah, definitely like GG This is a tongue and she's like fire truck baseball so so now they like they start showing the video and MJ is watching and she's just furious and she's like, you know what, I'm fucking sick
Starting point is 01:01:12 of supporting this charlatan. You know, like how many times I have to support Asa as an artist and they do a whole montage of all the different things that Asa has done, which is great because it made Asa just like a bull, she is an artist, a bull should artist, you know. That's true. So MJ is just annoyed. And then someone makes a point. I think it was MJ about like how Asa did this whole video and didn't include any of Shervin's footage that he shot when they were on the mean streets of that town with
Starting point is 01:01:40 the toy guns. I was like, there's suit, a bunch of terrified greasy-headed people walking around making shitty comments about everybody. But it also just goes to show, like, how this was really, this was just like a, like, a hand job for Asa, just to perpetuate the image of her being a spiritually enlightened et cetera, that she didn't even care about the hours of footage that these guys had to try to do that They didn't want to do and then she doesn't even use any of it like not even use like one shot At least use the shot of reza crying in the streets because that was a funny as far at least one of the straight hats Please also, you know MJ has a point when she says, you know one one year at singing, then it's this fucking burka shit.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Then it's this, then it's that. And she gets all, she wants these huge parties and all this congratulations of doing things or for doing things when she doesn't have any merit, you know? And I'm not gonna fake it. Okay, all that stuff is true, but that's not really a reason to be a bitch to somebody. So what?
Starting point is 01:02:42 So what if us as a flake and just wants to do random projects that don't need to mean anything or make any money? Like, how does that hurt you? You're the one being a hurtful bitch. Just don't go home or leave her alone. And what are you doing, MJ? Where's your real estate career right now? Exactly. You don't have a sink, okay? Yeah, you know, get a sink. And then you could complain about us. I mean, I get it. It is frustrating when someone's really pretentious like that, but it's like Yeah, but it's I don't know. I don't know
Starting point is 01:03:08 I just don't go to the events. Yeah, it's putting down It's like if you got mad at me for something random and you're like that guy is so bitchy and too much and blah Well, of course we're friends. You know all that like you have to yell at me for the specific thing from that day What are you gonna turn my whole personality against me? Yeah, I think she has, I think she has a stronger like to stand on if she went after Asa's, you know, faux artistry than the stupid embryo thing. Like, who cares if she thought out an embryo? Like, she's having a baby, be happy for her.
Starting point is 01:03:42 And she's even admitted she's just jealous because she wanted a baby first. It's so childish and so sad. And usually, Ause is better at getting away from this shit because MJ has tried this with her for years. Yeah. And she's usually better getting off, but. Of course now she has a res on her side
Starting point is 01:04:01 and that's always the clincher in ruining your life stories. So then they start to argue MJ and Asa and you know I think an MJ is basically like you know you're being deceitful yada yada yada and Asa just serves says well I didn't tell you because I don't trust you I don't trust you that's why don't tell you shit and Asa like there's not that MJ can say to that it's true like you're you're untrustworthy. So why should she tell you anything? But then Mike is like, Asa gets to look on her face when she's cut off guard like, hey, like, why don't you believe me? I'm an honest person and like you almost start to believe her. I'm like, yeah, because she's not saying anything that's crazy. She's saying, I don't trust you, which is why I didn't do that. I didn't tell you anything. Resa told them all, like, that's what makes me nuts about this fucking cast, okay? Resa tells them all who they're mad at,
Starting point is 01:04:48 and so they're gonna come up with any reason to be mad at these fuckers, you know? Mike and MJ are the worst with that. They're little fucking gelatin robots, and it makes me crazy. Even when he's done it, the worst to them. It's almost like if you can't beat him, join him, you know? And it's sad. Yeah, no one has ever turned on Res them. It's almost like if you can't beat him, join him, you know? And it's sad.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Yeah, no one has ever turned on Resa. It's kind of amazing. It's kind of like watching the season of Big Brother. Ugh. So yeah, ultimately like MJ walks away and Tommy's like, come on babe, come on. Give me a hug and kiss. Hug and kiss, babe.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Hug and kiss for the best. For the best, babe. Yeah, and when Asa says, it's important, babe, you know, I think it's important to talk about the level of trust in friendships, babe. Like, Resanoo, because I can trust him. Like, oh, really? Because he just orchestrated this whole fucking fight. So, can't wait for you to see that one.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah, seriously. Um, and that's pretty much where it ended. Yeah, Tommy. Tommy is a good man, you know, he's following around like, babe, you don't want to do this. Yeah, he's like, stop boxing me the fuck out. He's like, relax. Relax. She's your friend. You're told me so. I'm like not in front of Parish X and please no fighting in front of Paris, but, um,
Starting point is 01:05:58 yeah, Paris is a good guy. Paris is a good, uh, Paris is a good, uh, Paris is a good guy. I mean, Tommy is, he is a sweet guy and he's just trying to come her down and show her some love and she's just not having it. I'm like, well, enjoy the rest of your life because this is what's always going to be like.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Yeah, enjoy you. Yeah. Okay, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. We will be back tomorrow with a little real house wise of Orange County. Yes. Have a great rest of your Monday or whatever day you happen to be listening to this
Starting point is 01:06:28 on. We love you very much. Super much. Boy. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch or crap andens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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